#or rather... implied gerita | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inkstaineddove · 4 years

Text

Loneliness and Alcohol

Ships: PruHun, SpaAus, GerIta; blink-and-you-missed-it USUK

Characters: Prussia, Austria, Hungary, Germany, Italy, Spain, France, America; mentioned Britain, the Netherlands, Belgium, Romano, and Belarus

Summary: Every year America sends all the nations invitations to his New Year's Eve party and every year Germany, Hungary, and Austria decline. Until 2019, when America finally invites Prussia, and they're all dragged along. It's Roderich's worst nightmare, but Gilbert and Erzsébet have plans to cheer him up.

Berlin, 2019.

Germany entered his home, grumbling and shuffling through the stack of mail in his hands. Trash, trash, bill, trash. He scowled at the sparkles sticking stubbornly to his fingers. “America’s New Year’s Eve party invitations arrived.” He glanced over at Hungary and Austria, sitting at the dining table and gossiping with Prussia. “I don’t know why he continues to send me one. I’ve been declining the damn things since the fifties. Have you two gotten yours?”

“I wouldn’t know, I’ve been here all weekend.” Hungary wrinkled her nose at the thought of attending. “I don’t want the hassle of flying over there. I’ll send him a bottle of champagne to be polite.”

“I received mine before I left this morning.” Austria sniffed, sticking his nose up. “I can only imagine what kind of parties he throws. They’ve got to be houses of debauchery and sin. I loathe going to New York for the U.N. meetings enough as it is. I will not be heading there in my leisure time.”

Prussia nodded vigorously. “Yeah, his stupid little shindig isn’t worth the airfare!”

“Calm down, he sent one for you too this time.” Ludwig slipped the little piece of paper before Gilbert, watching his brother’s expression change.

Eyes wide open, then blinking in disbelief, to a steely determination. This changed everything. “Actually, I’ve heard from Francis that he’s got fountains of beer flowing. Isn’t that amazing?” He took Erzsébet’s hands in his, turning his whole body towards her. “We should go! It would be fun!”

She jerked her hands away from him. “No! I refuse to go on principle! You can’t stand the guy, the only reason you want to is because he bothered to remember you this time!”

“Not true!” He felt everyone’s disbelief boring into his skin. He bowed his head, hoping humility would work in his favor. “I never get invited to anything anymore. This feels special.”

“Aw, cheer up. You still do,” she leaned in and kissed his cheek. A teasing smile inched the corner of her mouth up. “As my plus one.”

This solicited a chuckle from Roderich, who was silenced by Gilbert’s heel digging into his toe. Gilbert sighed dramatically. “I liked it better when it was the other way around.” He tucked a strand of hair behind Erzsébet’s ear. “We could go for an hour and then leave. Dance the night away far away from him. Have a picnic under the stars. Let me have my fun and then the night’s yours.”

What would be the harm in it? And, really, a night with him traipsing through New York could be rather romantic. It would make up for having to deal with everyone else. “An hour, tops, to feel like a hotshot. I don’t want to stay longer.”

Ludwig sat down, coffee in hand, in the empty seat besides Roderich and Erzsébet. “I can recommend you two a hotel close to his home. There’s a few good ones.” He looked up from his drink, meeting Gilbert’s gaze. There was an incomprehensible look in his brother’s eyes. “What? Do I have something on my face?”

“No, wait, actually. Lean over.” He forcibly wiped away a speck of dirt from the other man’s cheek, paternal instinct kicking over. It made Gilbert feel useful and Ludwig completely embarrassed. “I’m just surprised you’re letting me go to one of these things unsupervised. This’ll be fun for me. I’ll be on my best behavior as the representative of Germany there. If his boss is there, I might ask about helping us get back some land to the east. In our best interest, of course.”

“I would consider it a victory if he even knew what Prussia was, Gilbert.” Ludwig could feel the vein in his forehead beginning to throb. He hadn’t considered this unintended consequence. He would have to trust his brother. He could do that. He could manage to trust Gilbert for one night.

Roderich gently tapped his fingers against the table, understanding what Gilbert was trying to do. “Excellent idea! And, while you’re at it, let Feliciano know not to look for Ludwig.” He turned his attention to Germany. “Afterall, he will be so gravely disappointed at your absence. My heart breaks for the poor man.” He clutched his chest for dramatic effect.

Realization dawned on Ludwig. So that’s what they were getting at. “Anything left from the third stooge, Erzsébet? Or is that enough from the peanut gallery?”

She did have something but didn’t want to add fuel to the fire. He was chewing through his cheek enough as it was already. “What was that? I don’t speak German.” She spoke, naturally, in perfect German. This won her groans from Roderich and Gilbert, who had received that joke many times before, and a stare with deadened eyes from Ludwig.

“Fine! I’ll go! Are you both happy?” Ludwig got ready to chew them both out before something clicked. “Wait. Roderich, you can’t stay here. If we’re all gone, who are you going to freeload off?”

“Must you be so rude in your phrasing?” Roderich crossed his arms over his chest. “Have you considered that having all of you not even on the same continent as me might be what I want? I would enjoy a quiet New Years with a glass of champagne while strolling through the city.”

Erzsébet rubbed a hand along his forearm. “It’s ok to say you’ll miss us. You’re the one who wanted to see us all today.”

Ludwig nodded. “And you typically show up here, unannounced.” He chuckled, remembering something. “Once you’ve had a few drinks, you start blathering on about how lonely it is in Vienna and how lovely it was during the war to have everyone living together.”

Roderich opened his mouth to protest. That sort of thing was supposed to be private and never mentioned again! Unfortunately, Gilbert reentered the room, shaking his phone in his hands. “Just got word back from the boys that they’re all going. And you know what that means, Roddy? The only person to make you feel like a man-”

“Fine, you lot win! I’ll go! We’ll all go!” He buried his head in his hands. “That is the last time I confide in either of you two. Blackmailing me like that, how low.” He shook his head.

Gilbert clapped him on the shoulder hard, causing Roderich to wince. “Relax, this really isn’t so bad.”

---

New York.

The four of them sat in complete silence, cramped in the back of a taxi. They had landed only four hours before and found themselves completely jetlagged. Gilbert had his head buried in Erzsébet’s shoulder. They both were propped up against the window. “Why did you drag me to this thing?”

She was too drained to fight back. “Because I’m an idiot.” If she closed her eyes, the continuous stopping and starting of the car felt like being rocked to sleep. There was a certain peace and rhythm to it. Her eyelids began fluttering down, down, down.

“Sir, pull over here please. We can walk the rest of the way.” Ludwig handed the man a twenty, jerking awake the drowsy trio besides him. As the most accustomed to making this flight, he was least affected by it. “Come on, get out. We’re a block away. This will perk you three right up.”

This displeased Roderich greatly. Walking, in these shoes? They were meant for completing an outfit, not for any sort of movement. “Oh, why do we care to be on time. This damn thing will be lasting the whole night.” At Ludwig’s aggrieved look, he rolled his eyes. “Fine, we’ll have it your way.”

“Of course, the one time I’m wearing heels. They’re worthless, you can’t do anything in them but stand around uselessly.” Erzsébet was having her own version of the same problem. She leaned against a wall to take them off. “Now I’ll have to walk barefoot in this grimy place.”

“You won’t. Your knight in shining armor is here to save the day.” Gilbert scooped her up bridal style, grinning from ear-to-ear. “Nothing to fret about now, Liebling.”

She gently caressed his cheek. “Quite the gentleman tonight, huh?” She leaned in against him, laughing against the crook of his neck. “I could get used to traveling around like this. I may have a job for you.”

Hearing their giggling and affectionate words, Roderich couldn’t help rolling his eyes. With all his might, he caught up to Ludwig to put further distance between himself and them. Hearing Gilbert’s low voice singing something indecipherable sent a further wave of nausea through him. “Don’t they make you sick too? It’s disgusting.”

“Hmm? Oh, them.” Ludwig chuckled. He’d been born into that weird triangle, and yet, it never ceased to amuse him. “Please, they’ve been doing that in front of me since I was a child. You get used to it.” A pause. Another chuckle. “Why see them so often if you can’t stand it still? One might think you’re a masochist.” The last word lilted up another octave. He couldn’t help it; he’d inherited his brother’s love of for annoying Roderich.

“Don’t imply things. It’s unbecoming.” Roderich shoved his hands into his coat, partly from the bite of the wind and partly to give him something to do. “Who else would I spend my time with? I have no other friends.”

Ludwig gave him a pitying look. Thankfully, before he could say anything in response, they were before Alfred’s door. Loud music could be heard booming from the other side. He politely rang the doorbell. No answer. He rang it again. “He must not be able to hear. Maybe I should call someone to let us in.”

“For Christ’s sake, Lud, we’re not vampires! Just open the damn door!” Gilbert pushed him aside and shoved the door open. Inside the home laid a different world. Sparkling balloons kissed the ceiling. Strobe lights flashed in the center, creating a dance floor. Glitter clung to the floor and women’s bodies. Some big singer, none of them knew who, stood on stage, performing her biggest hits for the receptive audience. The smell of smoke hung in the air as fireworks went off in the backyard. It was lavish, it was gaudy, it was quintessentially American.

Gilbert’s eyes traveled immediately to the promised fountain of beer. He thirstily filled a cup with some and took a sip, only to spit it back out. “My God, this is revolting! It tastes like piss!” He took out a flask of the good stuff he’d smuggled in from home out of his pocket to take the rancid flavor out of his mouth. His first goal of the night was already ruined. “Where did Ludwig go?”

“He raced off to go find Feliciano. He went…” Roderich’s voice trailed off as he tried remembering where in the sea of people Ludwig had been absorbed. His bearings were completely lost. “It doesn’t really matter, does it?”

Erzsébet sidled up to Gilbert, a devilish smirk on her face. “You know, Alfred’s got plenty of rooms here. What do you say about sneaking away and having a good, long nap?”

He snaked his arms around her waist. “I can’t think of anything I’d rather do.” They began laughing like school children, enjoying their little conspiracy.

Roderich’s irritation grew further. He began tapping his foot, needing somewhere to put his frustrated energy. “You two don’t need to play so coy. Or, if you must, I would expect you to be more creative than using napping as a euphemism.”

Blank stares met him. “Roddy, we’re literally going to take a nap. We’re both exhausted.” Gilbert began elbowing him in the side. Roderich didn’t trust the glint in his eyes. “If you’re so worried about our sex life, I can fill you in on the details.”

Before Roderich could even respond, Erzsébet was dragging Gilbert away, his guffawing thankfully swallowed by the noise of the crowd. Roderich sighed, relieved to be alone. A new problem arose. Now, what would he do, who would he follow? He looked around the room, hoping for some familiar face. No one. A mass of strangers, swaying along to the music and spilling their drinks. Nothing he wanted to be apart of.

Where were his manners? He’d been graciously invited to another person’s home and he hadn’t even thanked the host yet. Being around all these ruffians had caused him to forget himself. Straightening his suit jacket, he began braving the throngs of people. Along the way, between getting nudged around by delirious dancers, a glass of wine had made its way into his hand. He didn’t mind. Surprisingly, it was of excellent quality. He suspected it must’ve been the Italians’ gracious donation to the festivities.

There in the backyard was the host. Alfred was bumping and grinding away in the center, dirty dancing with an incredibly inebriated Arthur. Francis was yoking them up, benefiting himself from the hordes of beautiful men and women attending. Roderich would rather avoid them, but it would go against the rules of decorum he so stringently followed. Mustering up all his courage, he approached.

“Alfred. Alfred! America!” Finally, America’s attention was caught over the music. “I sincerely want to thank you for the invitation. I wish I had attended one of your parties sooner, but I’m usually quite busy this time of year, what with the holidays.” He was lying through his teeth. He wanted nothing more than to be back in Vienna. This was the kind of nightmare scenario only Gilbert could drag him into.

“Yeah, dude, no probs. You’re totally invited here whenever. Me casa, is your casa.” It appeared that Alfred was long gone as well. “Dude, you should’ve been here hours ago. We’ve been pregaming it since nine this morning.” His laugh, which was always obnoxious, was even more grating. “Tomorrow’s gonna be the most intense hangover in the history of hangovers, right Artie?”

Arthur had lost the ability to speak and was only able to communicate in a series of grunts. Sensing Roderich’s horror, Francis swooped in. “Come, let’s go inside to the bar there.” He began steering them away from the center of the party, tutting his lips. “This is no good, why did you come? Your weak constitution can’t handle these sorts of events. Who dragged you here?” He shook his head, knowing the answer already. “No, don’t tell me. You have to stick up for yourself more.”

“I’ll have you know, perhaps I wanted to come on my own. I’m capable of deciding things for myself, unprompted.” He didn’t have to see Francis’ face to know the reaction to what he said. He sighed. “Who else would I have spent my time with? No one wants to spend New Years alone.” He realized they were still speaking English, instead of switching to French like Francis preferred in one-on-one conversations. Despite not showing it, the other man must’ve been drinking heavily too.

Suddenly, Francis turned around. His index finger traced Roderich’s jawline. “No, you are too beautiful to ever be alone. It’s good you came tonight. Come with me, I can make you forget all your worries for the night.” He allowed Francis to kiss his cheek, his breath stinging of stale booze. “It’s been too long since we’ve been together. Please, honor me with the memory of how you win with love.”

Despite himself, Roderich had to admit it was tempting. If everyone else was going to have their fun tonight – or, so he assumed, he had no plans on asking – then why shouldn’t he? “My apologies, but it seems that memories are all you’ll have tonight. From me, anyways.” It wouldn’t feel right. Not when he was so clearly off his game. Leaving him staring after him, Roderich took a spot at the bar.

Nursing a glass of wine, he considered that this wasn’t so bad. At home, in front of his favorite café, he enjoyed people watching. It was a peaceful way of passing the time, to see all the people rush by and create little stories for where they were going. Normally, it was quite easy to get into it, but he saw too many people he knew. Romano with his arms around two women’s waist. The Netherlands being yelled at over money by an irate woman. Belgium shimmied to the bar and back, laughing with a group of girls she’d befriended. Everyone was here, everyone was having a good time. The only mystery was why wasn’t he.

Before the full wave of self-pity could sweep him, he spotted Germany and Italy chatting on a couch. It was a sign, a sign that he wouldn’t have to spend the rest of the night in the corner. Never in his life had he been so excited to see Feliciano. He even greeted the man with a warm hug, ignoring the frustration rolling off Ludwig in waves.

“Austria! Ludwig was telling me you were here, but I didn’t believe him! How exciting, having the both of you here!” Feliciano was practically vibrating with joy. He was overcome with emotion, but that came as no surprise to his companions. It’s how he always was. “Sit down next to me, I can sit on Ludwig’s lap!”

Roderich complied, ignoring the daggers Ludwig was shooting at him. “Well, it would be rude not to.” He full attention was on Feliciano. “Tell me, how have you been? Did you only recently arrive?” With that, he was off to the races. The Italian could talk a mile a minute, filling up all the space in the room. For once, Roderich didn’t find it annoying. It gave him something to focus on, something to find enjoyment in. And he was having a good time. The kid had grown up to be entertaining in his own way.

The same could not be said for Ludwig. The vein in his forehead was throbbing. Before this, he had been having a nice evening, much to his chagrin. Having his cousin tag along was not something he wanted. He cleared his throat. “Where’s Gilbert and Erzsébet? Did you lose track of them?”

“They ran off as soon as we got here to sleep together.” Roderich realized his mistake. “To nap! Supposedly they’re jet-lagged.” His face felt extremely hot.

“I guess they woke up cause there they are. Gil! Erzsi!” Feliciano jumped up, waving towards them at the bar. They began waving them over. “Let’s all go over to them! I wanna say hi!”

While his date was preoccupied, Ludwig had been furiously shaking his head at them. “No!” This didn’t need to become a family affair. He wouldn’t have it become that. “Actually, France is looking for us. Let’s go find him.” Not waiting for an answer, he dragged away a very startled Feliciano.

Once again abandoned, Roderich slinked back to the bar. As soon as he arrived, he was ensnared by Gilbert’s arm. He could smell scotch on his breathe as he spoke. “What have you been up to, Roddy? You better be out there, mingling with everyone, making me proud.”

His silence was telling. Erzsébet put a hand to her chest, sighing. “Oh, he’s so lonely. Gil, we have to take him in.” Much to Roderich’s dismay, they both were far gone. They couldn’t have been sleeping for long to be this drunk. That, or they kept downing drink after drink in short succession. He wasn’t sure which was more comforting.

His protestations that he wasn’t some stray puppy were drowned out by Gilbert. “Of course, we can! Who else would take care of him? Oh, don’t look so depressed, Roddy.” He leaned over the bar. “Can we get a round of kamikazes?”

Roderich stared down at his little glass. He sniffed at it and scrunched his nose up. What a foul concoction. “I appreciate it, but I don’t see how this will improve my mood.”

“It’ll help you loosen up. You’ve been uptight ever since we were on the plane.” Erzsébet gently elbowed him in the side. “I know this isn’t your thing. Try to have a little fun, Roderich. No one here is going to judge you for it.”

She herself looked so at peace, didn’t he want a little bit of that? Besides, the two of them were staring at him so expectantly. Did it matter this much to them that he felt included and part of their little group? He had thought they only kept him around out of pity, perhaps it was more than that. “You two are a horrible influence on me.” He knocked the shot back, met with rapturous cheering from them.

Another three rounds and Roderich himself was now feeling the effects. His ears were so warm, his feet so tingly. It took all his balance to lean into the bar counter for support. His vision was a little fuzzy, but he still felt aware of everything around him. That awareness was spent on watching them – their arms intertwined, feeding another shot to each other, foreheads pressed together while giggling. “Doesn’t that get tiring?” Maybe it wasn’t for them, but he found it exhausting.

That snapped them out of their fog. Gilbert was grinning like an idiot. “Why would it get tiring? I’ve spent lifetimes waiting for her. I’ve got her now, so completely. You want me to back off for your comfort? Please, I couldn’t if I wanted to.” He had been staring into Erzsébet’s eyes as he spoke. He leaned in, only to find he was kissing air.

Erzsébet had been speaking at the same time as him, giving Roderich difficulty in following along with them both. All her usual inhibitions in speaking on this subject towards her ex were gone. “I had a crush on him growing up and now I get to live out a fairy tale. He’s right, we’re made for each other. And,” a devilish look settled on her face. When Gilbert went in for his kiss, she had pulled Roderich towards her to whisper in his ear. She dished on all the vulgar reasons for their behavior.

“Good God, Erzsi! I don’t want to hear all that!” He gently pushed her away and stole her drink, finishing it in one gulp. He hoped to forget what she had said, but she’d painted too vivid of a picture for him. “Why would you think that appropriate?”

“Wait, what did you say?” Gilbert leaned down so she could repeat it. “You tease.” They locked lips, grabbing at each other’s clothes.

Roderich didn’t know whose tongue he was seeing, but he knew he wanted it gone. He pulled them apart. “Holy shit, enough! Enough! Are you two forgetting that I’m here?”

“You’re right, Roderich, I’m sorry.” She pulled him into a deep kiss. Once satisfied, she let him go with a laugh. “There, now it’s just like old times. Oh, but what were we saying before? Right! I wouldn’t mind if you told me whatever you got up to. It’s been, what? A hundred years since the divorce? What happens in our personal lives now doesn’t matter.”

At the mention of their divorce, Gilbert ordered another round of shots. He shoved one onto Roderich, who certainly didn’t want to be drinking to that. At this point, why did it matter? Why did anything matter? Seeing whatever that mess was in the backyard, hearing in detail about Erzsébet and Gilbert’s sex life, becoming completely wasted. There was no meaning to this night. “Well, if we’re being honest, there’s nothing to say. I haven’t been with anyone in years.” He clinked glasses with his shocked companions. “Cheers to the life of a bachelor.” He enjoyed his drink.

His admission was a surprising one. Hadn’t this been the man who, during his days of empire, was willing to lie down with anyone if it served his purpose? How could this behavior have so suddenly ceased? It was no wonder he was so perpetually grumpy; it was a much deeper problem than Roderich’s baseline snootiness. Gilbert and Erzsébet shared a look of understanding. A moment of clarity provided them with a new purpose for the night.

Erzsébet began straightening his clothes, smoothing out the wrinkles with her hands. Once she felt her work completed , she combed his hair with her fingers, tucking loose strands behind his ears. “Oh, Roderich, you poor thing.”

For his part, Gilbert ran through a list of people he knew in his head. “Francis would be an easy one. But then you run the risk of catching syphilis and that’s no good. You shouldn’t go near strangers, you can’t talk to anyone.” He drummed his fingers against the bar counter. “Natalya’s gorgeous, but no one can handle that.”

This was ridiculous. Roderich didn’t want this. He didn’t want any of this. Why did he allow himself to be strong-armed into this night? “Stop it, I never asked for this. Both of you, you’ve completely lost it.” His head felt woozy and it wasn’t from the drinks. Their pity was dizzying.

If they heard him, they didn’t care. Something else had caught their attention. “Spain!” Damn Prussia’s voice and how it always carried. Spain was snapped to attention and began waving them over. As he was pushed along, Austria decided this was the worst possible outcome of his life. Forced to travel to a country he found the bane of the civilized world, his only company his ex-wife and the man who was quickly becoming his worst enemy again and humiliating himself before his ex-husband. It would almost be comical if it wasn’t reality.

“My life is a tragedy of errors.” Austria sighed wistfully. He suddenly missed the days where he was on top of the world and wouldn’t be made to suffer such indignities. Though, if he allowed himself to be honest, how much they cared was oddly charming if they weren’t so overzealous.

Spain was equally thrown off by the sight before him, but for much different reasons. “Oh, you three are still keeping up with that getting along thing. I would’ve thought all of you would be tired of each other by now.” He rubbed the back of his neck, laughing. “I miss the fighting, it was much more interesting.”

“If it’ll get you in the mood, we can start hitting each other.” Gilbert shrugged, ignoring the horror on Antonio’s face. “Put the lust back in bloodlust, you know.”

Roderich was staring intently at the floor. He thanked the dim lighting for hiding his blush. “Gilbert, I swear to god. If you keep speaking, it’ll be like the old days in more ways than one.” He spoke through gritted teeth, trying to control the outburst that was begging to be let loose.

Gilbert tried to wink, but due to his intoxication it appeared more as a twitch. “I understand completely. New tactic. I’ll help you loosen up instead.” He started vigorously massaging Roderich’s shoulders. “Shit, you’ve got a lot of tension. What’s got you so stressed out?”

To make matters worse, Erzsébet began giving him a pep talk. She was bouncing around on the balls of her feet with her fists in front of her like a prize fighter. “Rod, you’ve got this. You’ve done this before, you can do it again. Give him the full force of your charm! Start smiling, it makes you look pretty!”

Antonio had not moved from his spot. He watched them closely, unable to contain his laughter. For him, this was an amusing little skit. A performance that could be fully enjoyed. Wiping a tear from the corner of his eye, he smiled. “Are they alright? What’s going on here?”

“They think I’m pathetic so they’re trying to be my wingmen.” Roderich shrugged Gilbert off, glaring at him. “They’re so out of it, I don’t think they realize how much more harm than good they could be doing.”

“Oh, who are they trying to set you up with?”

The three stooges ceased their nonsense. Could Antonio really be that oblivious? Was it not painfully obvious? Then they remembered who they were dealing with. Of course he would be like this. Slowly, acting as if they were dealing with a startled animal, Erzsébet and Gilbert backed away. Roderich could still feel their eyes on them, but for the first time didn’t care.

“That part doesn’t really matter.” Despite the shift in the mood, he wasn’t about to admit his hand so early. That would be more embarrassing than everything that had happened previously. No, not while a spark of hope just reignited itself. “What I’m more interested is in you.” His tongue was too loose. “In what’s been going on with you! How’ve you been, why you’re here.” It was a lackluster recovery, but Antonio didn’t seem to pay it mind.

“You’re really only interested in small talk with me? Roddy, I think we know each other better than that.” Antonio gently bumped him with his shoulder. “I’m not the mystery here. You’re out here, partying, drinking the night away. I couldn’t believe it at first. I thought it was your evil twin.”

Roderich swirled his glass of wine in his hand. “I don’t quite believe it myself. But the mark of a good man is in his acceptance and willingness to change, to be open to experience.” He chuckled, a crass joke coming to mind. “And you know me, I’ll try anything once.”

That won him a surprised and appreciative laugh. Roderich forgot how comfortable Antonio was, how easy his presence was. A part of him had missed this, a part of him he had tucked away many years ago. This was the man that started it all for him. There was a nostalgia there, a sense of belonging and home. Was it memories as substitute for any remaining chemistry? Who was to say? Certainly, he didn’t find himself caring at this moment. Hard questions could be answered tomorrow. Let tonight be for spontaneity.

As they spoke, the physical and emotional distance kept growing smaller. It was only when their arms were brushing against each other that Roderich fully noticed the lack of personal space. He found himself appraising Antonio’s figure, starting from his toes to his calves to his thighs to his…assets to his chest and lingering in his eyes. “I forgot how nicely you cleaned up. You’ve always looked-” Divine? Beautiful? Stunning? Flirting had never been his forte, much to aggrievement of both his spouses. “Resplendent.”

“Oh, don’t make me blush. Wait, here.” Antonio began futzing with Roderich’s tie, chuckling. “Didn’t get someone to tie the knot for you this time? Let me fix it for you.” In a fluid motion, he made the tie a bit tighter than needed. Their eyes remained locked the whole time, a smirk on the corner of Antonio’s lips and a blush darkening Roderich’s face.

Uproarious cheering broke out throughout the home. The ball had dropped. The new year had begun. Without saying a word, Antonio pulled him in. Their lips met and it felt like renewal. Whatever remained of Roderich’s restraint fell away when Antonio tugged at his lip. What brought him back to reality was the overjoyed sounds of Erzsébet and Gilbert, celebrating in their victory.

He rolled his eyes, a thousand different things coming to mind. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish. What could he bark at them? Their actions had been maddening throughout the whole night. And, while he found how they had behaved degrading for all involved, what did it show him? That, in their very strange way, they truly cared about him. That they didn’t view him as the third wheel who continued to tag along out of habit, but as part of their weird little group was. Whatever the result of the rest of the night, he considered this to be more important.

Friendship. It was the only kind of friendship either of them were capable of – messy and complex and interwoven in ways no other parties could ever fully understand. He valued it most of all.

Roderich held up his watch and tapped it. He couldn’t believe himself. “It’s midnight. You two better catch up with the rest of us.” For the first time in his life, he actually laughed as they grabbed for each other and began kissing (he supposed that’s what it was, it was far too animalistic for his tastes) with frantic energy.

Antonio looped his arm through Roderich’s and began steering him towards the door. “Come on, Cinderella. I’ll walk you back to your hotel room.”

“Such a gentleman.” What a way to ring in the new year.

25 notes · View notes

nedcanquen · 5 years

Text

Chapter 10: Mr 7th Floor

When I posted Chapter 9 I mentioned that I applied to grad school. Well the good news is...I GOT IN! I had to once again move to a different country (in a different part of the world) and start my Masters. I’ve enjoyed it, but it was a huge adjustment for me, hence the long delay. Thank you so much to anyone still reading this and following this story. <3

---

Tags: Slow Burn (like…really slow burn) - endgame is NedCan but they don’t get there directly, Single POV, Yep, Canada will date other people before endgame because he’s very desirable even if he doesn’t always know it, Audit firm AU, Office AU, some angst…

Pairings: NedCan (endgame), NorCan, implied NedDen, DenNor, implied Spamano, France/Jeanne d’Arc, GerIta

Matthew is about ready to stop fucking crying already. But it’s therapy, so all he gets is a break until the next session, he supposes. Dr Laurinaithis is not fussed, he must have a closet full of tissue boxes in this job, and seen a few swimming pools worth of tears. Matthew doesn’t know how he feels about that, but he does feel like going through two boxes of tissue papers is too much, no matter how kind Dr. Laurinaithis is about it.

It's a relief to leave the building, though he wishes that the lightness he’s supposed to feel after a huge cry was actually there. It’s not. Because he’s forced to talk about things out loud that he usually tries to hide from himself, he’s feeling raw. It occurs to him that he may need emotional support to even get through therapy. His mind jumps to Lukas, just because it had been his idea in the first place, and immediately dismisses it.

Sometimes the hard thing about a breakup wasn’t the breakup itself, but breaking the habits that had been formed before it. Matthew and Lukas had moved slow, but he had always been aware of him in a strong sense, and knew that Lukas was a reliable man and a good listener. Maybe that was why Lukas was the first person he had called when he panicked about Arthur. He feels embarrassed about that now, Arthur is a grown man who doesn’t need anyone to be regulating his drinking, and when did Matthew care about drinking this much? It wasn’t the drinking he had responded to, he knows that now, it was the realization of the loneliness Arthur would have had to have been experiencing to over-rely on a bottle. If Arthur were still his direct Manager, Matthew would have found him and kept him company. As it was, not he never really knew where Arthur was in the world at any point of time, or if he would be welcome, or if Arthur the Partner would have any time for him, so he tried to get other people to make sure that Arthur was cared for. It’s a strange thing, Matthew doesn’t even do this for his own father, and his mother has never needed help. He’s always felt like the soft and vulnerable one in his family, but Arthur respected that, somehow teaching him how to succeed in this firm despite wanting to hide from the world sometimes.

Maybe it’s time to visit Mom. Except he feels bad for burdening her with his insecurities, and moving to the city and thriving here is supposed to be proof that he’s grown up now, all her hard work was worth it. She would see right through him the moment he walked through the door.

As he climbs into his car he looks at his now terrible reflection in the mirror. Not good, Arthur's farewell do is in a couple of hours. He really didn't plan this out very well, but Dr Laurinaithis‘ first available appointment had been today and sometimes Matthew was a little too efficient with getting through his to do list. He pulls out the wet wipes he keeps in the glove compartment and runs it over his face, hoping the cool and damp cloth will do something about the obvious swelling around his eyes and nose.

He can blame it on allergies. Yeah why not. They were going to a park after all.

But first, time to pick up Shell.

He knows the way to her place so he drives there almost on autopilot. She wouldn't be fooled by the “allergies”excuse, so he'll probably have to come clean to her about therapy. The idea makes his stomach clench, he knows objectively that Michelle wouldn;t judge him, but therapy is still something intensely personal. But still, shouldn’t he give her a chance? Friendship was also about vulnerability. Then again, she was also a colleague, and he doesn’t want their friendship to make her work more difficult. She just saved him from a terrible meeting earlier in the week, and now he wonders if she'll question his ability to work and lead, if his lack of promotion somehow pushed him off an edge.

Matthew takes a deep breath and decides to get on with it. She’ll notice or she won’t.

He drives up and sees her standing in front of her apartment, grinning at him in a light blue dress, and waving excitedly at his car. He cracks a smile at that. He's just thrown on an old red t-shirt and a pair of jeans, it's a barbecue after all and he'd rather not have his better clothes stained with fat and smoke.

The moment she gets in the car, her face drops. Yep, no fooling Shell. He opens his mouth to try to explain but finds he can't really.

Michelle squeezes his shoulder. “Matt… are you…” but maybe because he couldn't say anything, she opts not to either, and just leans in to hug him.

There's a moment of guilt where Matthew feels terrible for bringing her mood down, guilt that he can't admit something that is nothing to be ashamed of, but he appreciates the hug and leans into it all the same. Somehow it’s a little better.

“Sorry to worry you Shell, I just had a rough morning, I'll be fine.” Her hair smells like coconuts and there’s some part of him that thinks of warm island breezes and white sands, far away from his problems here.

When they pull back, she tilts her head, pondering. “Matt I didn’t want to bring it up earlier because I wasn’t sure if it would help and you didn’t seem to want to talk about it, and I’ve always looked up to you. But I feel like I have to say something. You’ve been through a lot lately, and you've been holding it together really well. Sometimes I don't know why you're still even in the team instead of running off to a well deserved island break. Francis would deserve it. And Lukas I mean… have you had a chance to talk about Lukas? And you invited him today so...Look Matt, no one will think less of you if you’re selfish for-.”

“I don't want to talk about it right now Shell.” He’s exhausted, he's talked all morning. “Thanks, really. It’s just that… trust me I'm talking a lot.”

She doesn’t press, and Matthew is glad, but she does pat his arm. “That’s great, but...I’m here too if you need me you know. Also, I would totally make up a good excuse for you if you decide you need to leave early today. You’re the one who told me that rest doesn’t mean weakness, it’s just strength in the long run.”

How did he come up with these things? “It’s a marathon, not a sprint.” He repeats out loud, but in his head he hears Arthur say it, because that’s who he had learned it from. Sure, Arthur wasn’t great at living by the occasional wisdom he managed to say out loud (and read in a book somewhere), but that didn’t mean it wasn’t wisdom. It was Arthur who showed him that you trudged on, no matter the difficulty or tears. He’s seen Arthur fight through insecurity and frustration with little to no guidance to rise on his own.. It’s another reason why Matthew has to turn up, has to celebrate his day with everyone. Arthur was the first person whom he felt had really seen the value in him and invested time into him. He’s a big reason why Matthew is the professional he is today.

“Yeah.” Michelle replies with a worried smile.

First they stop off at the florist to collect the flowers that Michelle had ordered. Gardening was one of Arthur’s passions, though Matthew wasn’t sure how many people remembered that anymore. These flowers wouldn’t imitate a garden, but they would be the closest they could get to recreating a happy space for Arthur.

Under Michelle’s guidance they had outdone themselves. Somehow, Michelle had secured two barbecue pits in the park. Jack and Gerard from Daan and Arthur’s team were cooking up a storm, and as far as Matthew could figure out - took barbecues very very seriously. But it’s exactly what Matthew had previously envisioned - children ran around on the green, playing with each other. The open air and casual atmosphere made everyone relax, the flowers they were setting up made everything look that much more festive. Although, the lack of beer at a barbecue was perhaps a little obvious and noticeable.

“Juice?” Ha strolls up with a grin, holding two cartons of orange juice in hand.

Oh man...they’re never going to hear the end of this.

“Or…” Ha grins “Are we holding out for the sparkling juice?” The alcohol-free ‘champagne’ - still get the pop, but no kick. For the purposes of the day, Michelle branded it “child’s wine.”

Matthew grins, “No reason not to have both.”

All the Partners are late, which doesn’t surprise anyone. It seemed to be a regular code of conduct to allow the rest of the staff to enjoy each other’s company before the bosses came in. What was surprising however, was who arrived next.

“How come there’s no music at this party?” Mathias grins as he walks in with Emil, rolling in a cart of danishes and other delicious foods. Just how much were they going to eat today?

“Mathias? Hi.” Matthew waves. Why was he here? Was it weird to feel like he and Mathias were kinda friends? Even though they didn’t know each other very well and had met under very convoluted circumstances. “Oh wow these kids are going to be on a sugar high all day today.” He doesn’t know how Arthur will feel about rowdy children - he knows the man loves kids but generally in an unrealistic way.

“That’s the plan!” Michelle laughs.

Matthew nods and walks around, greeting everyone but ultimately he’s just looking for a bench to sit on while everyone else is occupied. He lets the sound of happy children trill behind him as he takes in the view of people simply enjoying their lives on the green. He breathes in deeply, and lets his breath out, calming his mind and thinking about nothing in particular. When he finds his empty bench, he sits and muses a little. He realizes that he’s not changed as much as he thinks - he’s generally known who he is. But at the same time, he feels born anew, like he’s stumbling to figure out the world all over again for the first time. He thought he had it figured out, he’s been doing what some invisible societal book out there tells him he has to do, that Arthur had mastered, and the book wasn’t wrong per se, but it was wrong to deny him himself. As Dr Laurinaithis (Toris, he had told him to call him Toris - Matthew can only imagine how he must have butchered the man’s name) gently told him this morning - it’s about learning to rephrase, to be present, to be conscious and aware. Matthew is focused on what he hasn’t achieved, and not so much on what he has.

Easier said than done really. It’s one thing to understand the logic of doing that, it’s another to be personally sold on it. So he’ll start with baby steps - if he doesn’t feel comfortable with something, he won’t just push down that feeling, he’ll process it. Maybe Shell is right, maybe he needs a trip…

“Didn’t think you’d be the one to judge a party without alcohol.”

Matthew is jarred out of his thoughts by a somewhat concerned looking Daan, who’s holding a cup of orange juice in his hand.

Daan looks like he’s about to say something with his trademark dryness but stops. His expression shifts from glib to concerned. “Hey…” He doesn’t finish his thought though, Daan casts a nervous look behind at the party for a moment, then looks down with a sigh. He silently comes over to sit next to Matthew on the bench.

Matthew tries to saw something to dismiss the concern, some greeting, to steel himself to stand and join the party. But he’s just too tired. Instead he asks “I look that bad huh?” It’s not much of a question.

Daan doesn’t bother to voice the obvious, and offers the orange juice instead. “I haven’t had any.”

“No thanks.”

They sit in silence for a moment, and Matthew is glad. He’s glad he doesn’t have to explain himself, but he’s not happy that Daan has seen him like this. There’s nowhere to escape in a park though, so he may as well just sit here. Anyway, Daan’s presence has its advantages, like giving him a further excuse not to go back to the party. And now that he’s free to just return to his silence, Matthew finds himself observing Daan when the other leans over, resting his arms on his knees, sipping from his cup. He remembers what Lukas said, about Daan having to give away a project, about Daan going through a weird transition right now.

He can’t see a shred of evidence of it anywhere.

Matthew takes a breath “How do you do it?”

“Hmm?”

“Arthur drinks, I...well I work out and occasionally go hiking, but I’m obviously not dealing with my troubles well because you took one look at my face and decided it’s better not to drag me back to the party. But you, you’ve never looked weak, no one would look at you and go ‘hey...maybe I shouldn’t promote him, I don’t want to be guilty of manslaughter.’”

Daan let’s out an annoyed huff. Matthew observes him as Daan sits up and straightens himself. “I’m pretty sure you saw me during a pretty rough patch at least once. Like that night you brought Emil to Mathias’ cafe. Man...that was a really shitty time. I was doing a pretty good job at denying just how shitty it was just two days before that, but there’s nothing quite like enforced quiet solitude on a 24-hour flight to make you realize how much you’re not going to be able to lie to yourself about this one.”

Daan’s voice is filled with so much...regret? Matthew doesn’t realize he’s reached out until he’s squeezing Daan’s arm in reassurance. They both tense with the contact, and Matthew quickly withdraws his hand. Stupid stupid stupid. “Sorry.” He mumbles, though he’s not sure what exactly he’s sorry for.

Daan doesn’t move, he just stares at the grass. “I trust my people.”

Matthew screws up his face in confusion. What did Daan’s team have to do with anything?

“Arthur drinks; you work out and hike; I have pets, a sister who can’t ever stop mocking me to remind me that I’m not that great, a baby brother who somehow looks up to me enough that it balances out her mocking, a friend who makes sure I’m fed and will drag me out of my door kicking and screaming if needs be to just...cycle somewhere, a…” Daan stops suddenly and frowns, squeezing the bridge of his nose and taking a deep breath, which he lets out. “You get the idea. I have people that I trust, to see me like that, like this - the way you saw me when I forgot my keys. I didn’t always have them, I didn’t always appreciate them, but I get by because I have them. I’m not a particularly social man, but I have a community that’s mine. That’s how I do it.” Daan stands from the bench and Matthew’s eyes can’t help but follow him, looking up and Daan turns. “You do too. And so does Arthur to be honest, neither of you are the lone wolves you try to be.”

Matthew laughs. “Lone wolf? Me?”

Daan shrugs. “We never really knew each other until recently, but I remember seeing you around before. Always in a group with other associates, usually with either Michelle or Ha, or…well, leaving birthday cupcakes on Arthur’s desk in the early hours of morning...”

Matthew’s eyes widen, Daan had seen that?

“Made me jealous to be honest,” Daan continues. “No one’s ever left me cupcakes.”

Matthew laughs. “Your housemate makes damn good danishes.”

“Well yes, but let’s be honest here, he’s never really made them for me, I just happened to be around. Besides, is a danish a cupcake?”

Matthew shakes his head and rolls his eyes fondly. Honestly.

“My point is,” Daan adds pointedly. “You have a community. Let them help you. Not saying hiking isn’t a good coping mechanism though.”

Matthew finds himself feeling a little lighter, and able to stand to return to the party. He looks up at Daan’s concerned face and smiles. “Thanks for the pep talk.” Daan is really really good at his job - who knew that this guy could give good talks like this? No wonder his team did so well.

Daan nods and looks behind him. “You want to join the party? Or should I make up an excuse?”

Matthew turns and observes the party too. It’s happy, pleasant and perfect - Michelle’s magic in full displace. “I don’t want to ruin it by bringing down the mood, Shell worked so hard. But I haven’t quite reached the point where it’s polite to leave yet. I should at least speak to Arthur. It’s crazy, I haven’t really talked to him at all lately.”

Daan’s tapping his fingers on the back of the bench, and Matthew doesn’t look at him, expecting him to leave at any moment. But instead, Daan surprises him.

“Want company or to be alone? Lukas will text me when they’re about to arrive, no one’s going to hold it against you if you sit out here. You’ve already greeted everyone.”

“I…” Both? Matthew wants Daan right next to him, a solid presence on a day when Matthew feels cast out at sea, riding on tumultuous waves of his stamped down emotions. He also doesn’t want to be a burden.

“Right, don’t worry. Take your time.”

“Wait!”

Daan pauses in his stride surprised. He must have presumed that Matthew’s reluctance to speak was out of politeness, not indecision.

“I don’t mind company I’m just not great company myself right now so, it’s really up to you. I’m sure you have schmoozing to do.”

Daan casts a skeptical look at the party. “I see them practically everyday. I don’t mind some quiet. They’re all in love with Mathias anyway, I’ll give him a chance to keep charming his regulars, uninterrupted.”

Matthew can’t help but laugh. “So he knows everyone?”

Daan shrugs. “Well whenever we have a party we tend to buy food from him, so by now, yeah.”

“I distinctly remember him telling you that night at the cafe, that PKDE was your life, not his.”

Daan lets out a snort and a little laugh. Matthew likes that little laugh, a little too much. He churns inside because no.

No. No. No.

Nononononononono…

“Sometimes when I piss him off he says things yeah, but he’s such a softy now you have no idea.”

For lack of anything else to say (because he’s afraid to say anything), Matthew just replies, “Tell me.”

So Daan does, and Matthew looks down at the grass seeing nothing because he knows he’s gone and done something even more irrevocably stupid. It was inevitable really, just a matter of time, and he had been in so much denial because he hadn’t wanted to stop himself. But was there really any other way that this was going to go for him? He can’t even hide it from himself anymore.

He’s in love.

#nedcan #APH Canada #aph netherlands #fic: Mr 7th floor

11 notes · View notes

hetaliaweekinreview · 6 years

Text

PruAus Week of 9/16/2018 - 9/22/2018

(fics rated M/Explicit under cut)

Total Fics: 7

Fics on FFN: 1

Fics on AO3: 6

ffn:

Adieu, Be Of Good Cheer by LyingMonsters

Gilbert is the crown prince of Prussia. Roderich is a nobleman and a lieutenant. It's the late 1720's at the dawn of the Prussian Empire, and they have nothing but each other. Based off the story of Frederick and Hans.

Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,819 - [Prussia, Austria]

ao3:

play me like a violin by twotimesinthesamenight

“I’m not doing anything, Roddy,” and the nickname drips off cracked lips like honey and the final syllable is dragged out with an exhale of smoke that curls around them both. “Those’ll kill you. Eventually.” In the space where Gilbert’s hand was is a package of spearmint gum, cradled by the soft fingertips of long pianist’s fingers. Gilbert shakes his head and laughs.

Rating: General Audiences

Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Category: M/M

Fandom: Hetalia: Axis Powers

Relationship: Austria/Prussia (Hetalia)

Characters: Austria (Hetalia), Prussia (Hetalia)

Additional Tags: Post-Break Up, Pining, Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Smoking, it's all pretty vague tbh, the smoking is shortlived, and the self harm is mentioned once, gil is a sad boy who deserves to be happy

Language: English

new americana by twotimesinthesamenight

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Category: M/M

Fandom: Hetalia: Axis Powers

Relationship: Austria/Prussia (Hetalia)

Characters: Austria (Hetalia), Prussia (Hetalia), Hungary (Hetalia)

Additional Tags:, Smoking, Flirting, Underage Drinking, hungary is there for four seconds, canada is mentioned once as a joke, it's erotic but not sexual lmao

Language: English

Strange Bedfellows by princessdi

March 13, 1938. Austria becomes swallowed by the machine tearing through Germany. Rather than be resigned to their fates as subordinate entities, Austria and Prussia agree to work together in another war, this time for the right cause.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: Gen

Fandom: Hetalia: Axis Powers

Relationship: Austria/Prussia (Hetalia)

Characters: Austria (Hetalia), Prussia (Hetalia)

Additional Tags: World War II, Anschluss, Rebellion, Resistance, Historical Hetalia, Historical References

Language: English

1912 by policebox101

1912.

Known as the year the R.M.S. Titanic sank. Many souls went down along with the ship. It's only now that their stories are being told.

Based off 'Titanic' 1997

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: Major Character Death

Categories: F/M, M/M

Fandoms: Hetalia: Axis Powers, Titanic (1997)

Relationships: Female Austria (Hetalia)/Male Hungary (Hetalia), Female Austria (Hetalia)/Prussia (Hetalia), Female Austria (Hetalia)/Romania (Hetalia), England (Hetalia)/France (Hetalia), Female Germany (Hetalia)/North Italy (Hetalia)

Characters:, Female Austria (Hetalia: Axis Powers), Prussia (Hetalia: Axis Powers), Male Hungary (Hetalia: Axis Powers), Kugelmugel (Hetalia: Axis Powers), Romania (Hetalia: Axis Powers), France (Hetalia: Axis Powers), Female America (Hetalia: Axis Powers), Wy (Hetalia: Axis Powers), Sealand (Hetalia: Axis Powers), Seborga (Hetalia: Axis Powers), England (Hetalia: Axis Powers), South Italy (Hetalia: Axis Powers), North Italy (Hetalia: Axis Powers), Female Germany (Hetalia: Axis Powers), Bulgaria (Hetalia: Axis Powers), Belgium (Hetalia: Axis Powers), Netherlands (Hetalia: Axis Powers)

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Historical, So much death

Language: English

Partners in Crime by Ludwiggle73

Belfaux in the '20s is a rainy city of sin. Its most notorious criminals are Gilbert Beilschmidt, the Prussian gangster; Antonio Fernández Carriedo, the kind-hearted pimp; and Francis Bonnefoy, gentleman thief and partner to Arthur Kirkland, thief-of-all-trades.

Desperate to get in the good graces of his people, Grand Duke Roderich Edelstein calls in Agent Alfred Jones, a prodigy in the art of undercover deception. With Arthur's reluctant help, Alfred becomes part of the criminal family, but he knows none of them can be trusted. Alfred's mission goes well until, despite his best intentions, love begins to bloom. Secrets start to unravel. And all must prove where their loyalties lie.

Because in Belfaux, honesty is the deadliest weapon.

[USUK. Spamano. PruAus. GerIta. SuFin. DenNor.]

Rating: Explicit

Archive Warnings : Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage

Category: M/M

Fandom: Hetalia: Axis Powers

Relationships: America/England (Hetalia), South Italy/Spain (Hetalia), Austria/Prussia (Hetalia), Germany/North Italy (Hetalia), Denmark/Norway (Hetalia), Finland/Sweden (Hetalia), England/France (Hetalia), Canada/Netherlands (Hetalia)

Characters: America (Hetalia), England (Hetalia), France (Hetalia), Spain (Hetalia), Prussia (Hetalia), Germany (Hetalia), South Italy (Hetalia), North Italy (Hetalia), Denmark (Hetalia), Norway (Hetalia), Finland (Hetalia), Sweden (Hetalia), Canada (Hetalia), Lithuania (Hetalia), Russia (Hetalia), Belarus (Hetalia), Sealand (Hetalia), Monaco (Hetalia), Belgium (Hetalia), Netherlands (Hetalia), Austria (Hetalia), Switzerland (Hetalia), Hanatamago (Hetalia)

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Human, Gentleman Thieves, Organized Crime, undercover cop, Prison, Discussion of Abortion, Smoking, transtalia, Transgender, Anal Sex, 69 (Sex Position), Body Dysphoria, Prostitution, Angst, Face-Sitting, Out of Character, 1920s, Historical Inaccuracy, Trans Male Character, Pregnancy, Transphobia, Period Typical Attitudes, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Gang Violence, Asexual Character, Blood and Injury

Language: English

Viennese Blue by Aleberle

On a seemingly regular invasion of his favorite aristocrat's house, Prussia stumbled across a small object that forced him to rethink not only his relationship with the prissy nation, but how he thought of the man in general, and not in a way that he would have ever wanted to. As his attempts to gain more information and undo what has been done earn him suspicion and mistrust from the very man who's consumed his every waking thought since the discovery, he begins to wonder if this is something which can really be fixed.

Warning - this story includes implied, and later described, self-harm and consistently mentioned depression. The rating moved up to M because it gets pretty graphic with the self-harm in one of the chapters and it touches on nations' opinions on historical tragedies, which is a very touchy subject for many.

Rating: Mature

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: M/M

Fandom: Hetalia: Axis Powers

Relationship: Austria/Prussia (Hetalia)

Characters: Austria (Hetalia), Prussia (Hetalia), Germany (Hetalia)

Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Self-Harm, Extremely awkward Prussia, Confused and suspicious Austria, Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, a bit of angst, Depression, Medication, I'm not kidding, he's so awkward, Depressed Austria, Prussia being oblivious too much, This romance takes a while mostly because of Prussia, But sometimes it's just gay, Those are my favorite parts, No Smut, mentions of World War II

Language: English

#hetalia #fic recs #pruaus #mod lesbian #sorry its late!

14 notes · View notes

meanwhile-in-hetalia · 7 years

Note

I just wanted to add to that acearo germany hc of the other anons and say that i can only see gerita as a qpr

To those who don’t know what a QPR is, it stands for Queer-Platonic Relationship. It’s a deep and committed platonic relationship, that may have behaviors that are usually seen as romantic such as kissing, holding hands, cuddling, “dating”,or sharing a bed, but all the affection and love that the couple share in these acts are solely platonic. Anyone of any gender or sexuality can be in a QPR, but it’s very common among aromantics since they do not experience romantic attraction.

I love this idea because it’s a great mid-ground between canon and fanon. GerIta isn’t actually canon, but there are many implied themes with them, which is why it’s one of the most popular ships, second only to USUK. There is also a lot to support this hc too! Germany and Italy spend a lot of time together, practically attached at the hip. They go sight-seeing, have dinner, travel together, feed each other, share a bed, and in Germany’s case, gets jealous when Italy is around women, yet they refer to each other as friends.

There’s also the part in the anime when this exchange happens while they have their arms over each other’s shoulders:

“Ja, that does sound good! Friends!…Uh, we don’t have to kiss do we?”

“Nope, unless you want to.”

That could have been them setting boundaries. QPR’s vary from couple to couple because there are some behaviors, like kissing, that might be only seen as an expression of romance, which in this case, is Germany’s opinion, but even though Italy might see kissing as platonic, he’s not going to step on any boundaries. Moreover on boundaries in the Buon San Valintino episode where, even though some QPR couples get married, some don’t because sometimes it’s hard to rework your brain against something so cultural as people in a romantic relationship get married. So, perhaps that’s a boundary of Italy’s.

There is also the scene where Rome comes to see Italy while they sleep, and Germany gets angry when Rome assumes that they’re in the same bed because they’re in a romantic-sexual relationship. Germany isn’t mad because he’s in denial, he’s angry because of the assumption.

I’m sure that there’s more support for this, but it’s been a while since I’ve watched the show, and I’m not all that knowledgeable about the comics because I entered Hetalia rather late in the game, and there’s a lot to catch up on, and very little time.

Also, this hc makes my AroAce heart happy just sayin.

#hetalia #aph germany #aph italy #gerita #hetalia heacanons

125 notes · View notes

nyhne · 7 years

Text

APH - Ristorante Rosso [GerIta, PruAus]

Read it on Ao3 | FF

While getting himself settled in grad school, Ludwig takes up Gilbert's generous offer of housing and a job at Gil's restaurant, Ristorante Rosso. Except that instead of peaceful bonding time with his older brother, Ludwig has to deal with numerous awkward run-ins with Gil's boyfriend, Roderich, his brother's rowdy friends, and a strangely cheerful Italian art student, who makes Ludwig's heart stutter in ways that can't possibly be healthy...

GerIta with established background PruAus and Spain/fem!S Italy Rated T for slight/implied sexual content that purely comes from Gil and Roderich

This has been in the works for about a year because I really love an awkward Ludwig having to deal with his feelings for Feliciano. It’s honestly been rather nice writing something on the more humorous side of things c: I hope you enjoy!

#GerIta #PruAus #Hetalia #Hetalia fanfiction #aph Germany #aph North Italy #aph Prussia #aph Austria #Spamano #aph #Roshon's writing

32 notes · View notes

nedcanquen · 7 years

Text

Chapter 8: Mr 7th Floor

In the past two months, I moved to a new country and threw myself into full-time job-hunting. Writing took a backseat. Thank you for your patience! Still very much a setup chapter, but I’m glad to have finally gotten back to some writing.

As always, thank you so much for reading!

Pairings: NedCan (endgame), NorCan, implied NedDen, DenNor, implied Spamano, France/Jeanne d’Arc, GerIta

Image from Pexels

It doesn’t take them too long to arrive about a block away from Mathias’ cafe, and Lukas leads Matthew through to the flat. The doorman recognizes Lukas, which not something Matthew tries to think about too much. The whole time, Matthew follows behind, because Lukas is on a mission and he’s more than happy to let the older man lead. It’s an upscale place, immaculately maintained and he can tell from the fact that there are maybe four apartments per floor, that each unit must be pretty sizable. Only a Director and above could afford to live in a place like this. Matthew suddenly feels self conscious about his own humble flat, but Daan hadn’t said anything.

Lukas raps on the door and Mathias opens it after just two knocks.

“Hey guys. Come on in.” Mathias has a welcoming smile on his face but looks surprised even with the warning. Matthew can’t blame him, the visit is pretty spontaneous. He also wonders if Mathias would read more than there was, opening a door and seeing Matthew and Lukas together, standing behind it. He follows Lukas in.

‘Don’t think too much Matthew’ he tells himself. It’s late - there had been things he had to catch up on, being away for so long even if he had been doing some work from home. He and Lukas are still wearing their office clothes. Meanwhile, Mathias is showered and dressed for bed it seems, wearing a comfy looking faded shirt with a LEGO viking on it, and boxers, and Matthew does feel a little envious over the comfort. As if on cue, Lukas immediately loosens his tie and unbuttons his shirt sleeves to roll them up. It’s been a long day so Matthew does the same, unbuttoning the topmost buttons on his shirt to give himself a little more room to breathe. It’s not exactly comfort, but it will do for now.

“Have you guys eaten dinner?” Mathias asks. “Daan got home juuuuust before you messaged, so I just yelled at him that you guys were coming over while he was in the shower. He’s still not ready though. I threw a chicken into the oven after I got your message Lukas, and the steamed veggies are almost done, just gotta throw some butter on them and mash the potatoes. Nothing fancy, but it ought to fill the bellies right?” He announces as he walks into the kitchen.

“You didn’t need to make dinner.” Lukas responds as he follows Mathias into the kitchen.

“Hey hey hey...you’re a guest, sit down!” Mathias laughs and was it Matthew’s imagination? Or did Lukas look a little offended?

“Don’t be an idiot.” The shorter man huffs and grabs a plate. Mathias just laughs and seems to accept the help, though he’s scratching the back of his head somewhat nervously. Yeah, Matthew is going to leave them alone on this one.

“I don’t want to crowd you guys in the kitchen so I’ll just…” Just what?

“Yeah! Make yourself comfortable in the living room. Daan won’t take long.”

Matthew takes a walk around the main spaces, trying his best to not wander into any area that looked private or closed off. It is a sizable apartment, with long floor-to ceiling windows lighting up the living and dining rooms, which are separated only by elaborately carved screens made of a dark wood. The interior is pleasantly simple and open, light woods and carpet, the walls are mostly bare save for a large antique map and some paintings depicting landscapes, in both Japanese and European styles. Near the door, six bicycles hang from the walls on bike hangers - different types of bikes with tires of varying widths. They all appear well-used and Matthew assumes that Daan and Mathias each own a set of three. Matthew then finds himself drawn to the living room area while Lukas helps Mathias set the table.

The living room area seems to double as a library of some kind, with shelves of books and photographs. Matthew sees an adorable picture of three children - the eldest who looks about nine must be Daan, and he looks like he didn’t expect the camera to go off with the wide-eyed look he’s giving it. It makes Matthew smile, this unexpected image. Next to him is Belle, dressed in a peach-colored dress and a bow in her hair. She’s got a bright smile and together the two hold a toddler between them.

Something jumps on his shoulder and Matthew jumps too. Startled, the bundle falls into his arms and Matthew looks down wide eyed at…

“Maple…” He breathes. He’s cradling the famous baby of the three, beloved by the universe. Matthew’s heart melts even more than it did when he just saw the videos, holding this warm fuzzy thing in his arms. Unfortunately, he can hear Maple whimpering so he gently places him on the nearest couch - the same couch where Maple slept under a sunbeam. Matthew recognizes it now. “Sorry sweetheart, didn’t mean to startle you.” Matthew whispers.

He looks around and wonders where the other two are - Nijntje and Hitam. Now that he’s looking for them he sees them. Nijntje is hanging around the kitchen where most of the activity is and Hitam is napping on a shelf. He looks over and Lukas and Mathias seem to be deep in conversation. Matthew settles down on the couch and tries to figure out what books are preferred in this household.

Dutch and Danish books that he can’t understand or make heads or tales out of from their spines alone, though a few look to be a collection of fairytales and another few of Norse myth. There are a series of work related books in English such as ‘Executive EQ’, ‘Dangerous Company: Management Consultants and the Businesses they Save and Ruin’ (Matthew lets out a laugh because that’s pretty funny) and other similar things. There are some well-read novels and well-known books, and the English novels come from all over the world, or so Matthew guesses from the author’s name. All in all, a fairly diverse collection, and those were just the ones Matthew could read. The Dutch titles looked equally diverse, while the French ones seemed restricted to language dictionaries and phrasebooks to study or stay on top of the language if one didn’t speak it every day.

A welcome warmth crawls onto his lap and Matthew looks away from the books. He has to smile, stroking the soft fur. “Do I smell like carrots Maple, is that it?” Maple seemed rather affectionate for a bunny, it was no wonder Daan couldn’t resist him.

Speaking of Daan. “I’m guessing you two dropped by to talk about Arthur?”

Matthew looks up in surprise. He was so focused on Maple that he didn’t hear Daan step out, but here he is, towelling his hair and closing his room door. It’s a sight - Daan fresh from the shower, hair loose and wet and falling over the side of his face. Matthew tries to look away so he doesn’t stare but his eyes drop to the faded orange shirt Daan is wearing and he finds himself staring anyway, with his jaw dropped open.

“Fucking machine?” Oh God did he just say that out loud? But Daan was indeed wearing some old-looking faded orange shirt with giant letters exclaiming ‘FUCKING MACHINE’. Sure people got gag items like that all the time, usually as gifts but no one wore them after graduating from university!

Daan looks down at his shirt and shrugs. “I guess you can call me whatever you want but make sure it’s just Daan in the office okay? Don’t want HR asking questions.”

“No!” Matthew waves his hands, flustered. “I’m sorry I mean…”

Daan smirks as he walks closer. “Mathias!” He calls out, looking in the general direction of the kitchen. “Matthew loves the shirt you got me...hell, ten years ago now?”

“Which one?”

“The one you got me for Queen’s Day.”

“Again, which one? Oh!...Fuckering Machine, I mean Fucking Machine…” There’s a pause, and now Mathias’ laugher is booming from the kitchen too.

Lukas calls over with a roll of his eyes and a smile. “Don’t worry Matthew, you’ll get used to them. We learned a long time ago that if you try getting Daan gag gifts, he’ll just use them anyway. He doesn’t know the meaning of shame, it’s great.”

“That’s not quite true.” Daan shrugs then lowers himself on the couch next to Matthew. “You see, they kept getting me stuff that was perfectly usable. Besides, we’re so used to it now. If you hadn’t been here, none of us would have noticed.”

Matthew wonders about all the dumb gag gifts that must be accumulated somehow. “You didn’t get rid of them or pawn them off?”

“Pawn off a dick mug to who? And why waste perfectly good stuff just because of what’s written on them or what they look like?” Daan notices Maple on Matthew’s lap and smiles warmly, all for the bunny. He leans over and says some soft sounding things in Dutch, which makes Matthew freeze a little, until Daan picks Maple up and settles him on his shoulder. “Affectionate isn’t he?”

“Um...yeah. I can see why you decided that he needed to join the family.” Matthew can’t help but smile as he says this, staring at the happy bunny on his Papa’s shoulder.

“Well then, I guess we can discuss Arthur after dinner. Hi Lukas.”

Only after dinner? Lukas waves, looking at them curiously.

Dinner looks about done actually so Matthew stands and walks over. Daan lags so Matthew turns and finds him checking on Hitam on her shelf. Satisfied with her comfort, Daan follows.

“Thanks for dinner Mathias.” Matthew has to say. It was pretty good for a last-minute deal. “You often make dinner?”

Mathias lets out a laugh. “This is how I first started paying my rent! Making sure this guy ate and had a life outside his office! Which brings me to...dinner rules! Sorry guys, no office talk while we’re eating. Food talk in the home is for fun and good things that brings people together and reminds us that we have a life. You can all talk about Arthur after we finish, I’ll leave you guys to it.”

Matthew feels bad then, like he’s put upon Daan and Mathias when they’re ready to put the day behind them, but what’s done is done. He didn’t really have to follow blindly, trusting Lukas that just turning up was okay, but maybe the dynamic was different between these three childhood friends. It probably was okay for Lukas, but Matthew is the outsider here. Or not? How well had Lukas kept in touch with Daan when he was avoiding Mathias? It was an act of courage for Lukas to come here too. Matthew tries to put his concerns aside to simply enjoy the company.

Dinner is pleasant. It’s helped by the fact that the bunnies know what’s up and are clamoring to join in the meal, so Daan and Mathias have to hold a bunny each and feed them cut carrots before they’re left in any sort of peace to eat their own meal. Lukas meanwhile, gives the honor of feeding the third bunny to Matthew. “You look like you’re about to burst.” Lukas smiles. “So here.” He passes Matthew Hitam and the next few minutes are full of adorable bunny cuddles and carrot feeding.

In fact, everything about dinner is pleasant. Matthew was often anxious when he found himself in a group of people who had known each other forever, with him as the lone outsider, but this was different. Maybe it was because Lukas himself had been somewhat estranged from Mathias and Daan until recently, but any childhood memories or in-jokes were promptly explained. It was usually Lukas who would realize how divorced Matthew would be from those experiences and start explaining it, but Daan and Mathias happily jumped in once they realized it. So Matthew didn’t feel left out, he felt the happy warmth of inclusion, that three pretty impressive people wanted him there and expended effort in making sure he felt there was a place amongst them.

Or maybe they were just really polite.

Too soon, it was time to move onto less pleasant matters. Mathias retreated to his study where Matthew could see the light peeking out from under the door. Not too long later, he could hear faint music from Mathias’ room. Matthew sat back in the living room area with Maple on his lap. Thankfully, Lukas delved right into it.

“I didn’t tell Mathias that I was coming over to speak to you about Arthur. You figured it out anyway.” He began, remarkably businesslike.

Daan chuckles, one ankle resting over a knee as he sits back in an armchair. “What else could it be? Besides, Jack came to me about your concerns Matthew, after your lunch meeting. I figured I’d hear from you eventually. And Lukas, you and Arthur and that...magic club of yours-”

“Folklore.”

“Right, that folklore club of yours. So...yes, he likes to drink.” Daan shrugs. “Maybe a little too much. But, I’m his boss, not his sobriety sponsor, I judge his performance at work. If I wanted to intrude on every aspect of all my employees’ lives, I’d risk becoming Matt’s boss, and do something stupid and absolutely unfair like...pass up a perfectly well-deserving member of my team because of something that has nothing to do with the job.”

“Deflecting.”

“Seriously Lukas? You intervene with all your staff?”

“Seriously Daan? You encourage an environment where vices are normal?”

Matthew has that feeling that tends to rise up whenever bosses fight and you happen to be there. In PK&DE, he knows how to mitigate and manage the personalities there. Right now he’s not entirely sure how to to put out the fire or if these two even need it. Just how close are Lukas and Daan actually? Matthew can’t tell how real the annoyance is or how much is teasing.

“I trust my people to get their work done. What they do in their personal lives is different. Kind of...opposite of you but, we all have our styles.”

Matthew feels like he really doesn’t need to be here for this, the way they’re going on. “Um...are we here to talk about helping Arthur or debate who’s the better boss?” He asks, drawing both their attention. “Sorry if that came out...I’ve had a long day, I’m tired.”

Daan takes in a deep breath and runs a hand through his hair, he sounds a little annoyed. “I’m sorry. I’m tired too, but I really don’t know how you both think I could do more to help. Lukas, you’re Arthur’s friend, instead of coming to me and Matt, can’t you call up your own friend and drag him out on a hike or something? Matthew, I know he’s kind of your mentor, that probably makes you feel a little awkward but...you’re not a green Associate anymore and it’s about time you started believing that. You don’t need to tiptoe around Arthur, drag him out and talk to him. If you think it’ll help, make him feel bad that he’s setting a poor example for you in how he manages stress. There is literally nothing that I can do that would be even more effective than either of you just marching straight to the problem instead of coming to me.”

“We can do all of that but we would still need you to keep us informed.” Lukas shoots back. “When Arthur is out of our reach, when he’s overseas, and all he has is a job...you don’t think that a stern talking-to from his boss is going to help remind him? You could have done something before he made Partner. At least he would have had incentive to control himself, he would have put work into changing to get that promotion. Now there’s nothing to-”

“To what? Blackmail or control him with?” Daan cuts in.

Matthew shakes his head as he recalls the thrown audit-file incident. “Uh Lukas, I don’t know what Arthur was like during the MBA but...he...does his own thing. I mean, now that I think about it, with how Francis intervened with me...I think he tried with Arthur. Arthur just left the team, if he didn’t like what Daan had to say, or couldn’t make it to Partner with him, he’d just go somewhere else.”

“And you should know Lukas, because you introduced Arthur to me. The deal I made when Arthur when I brought him on was specifically not to be a meddling boss, like Francis. I take in people who I know don’t need me and can work on their own for the most part.”

Lukas stands in frustration. “Is it an unwillingness to help Daan, or are your hands genuinely tied?” It sounds like an honest question. “Because of course no one is asking you to babysit all your staff but there comes a point when a problem has grown a little too much to trust people to handle it on their own. It’s like...if Matthew here, had too many bottles of whisky and insisted he was perfectly capable of driving home, would you just let him do that and trust him at his word? Or would you make sure that he doesn’t drive home” It’s not a question. Daan looks at Matthew with a strange expression for a moment, before he turns back to Lukas.

“Of course not Lukas, it’s not even a good analogy.”

“It is Daan - it’s a perfect analogy. You shouldn’t trust Matthew if he said he could drive home because he is impaired! It forces an intervention, even if he’s punching and kicking you while you’re dragging him away from his car.”

The image is kind of amusing actually. “Why am I the example here?” Matthew tries to joke.

“It’s the same with Arthur.” Lukas continues, “His actions and ability to reason are impaired. But...it’s almost like...you don’t care because you’re his pimp. Who cares how drunk he is if someone will give you money for it.”

“Whoah Lukas!” Matthew stands between them with his hands up, trying to placate Lukas. “That’s a little...that’s a little extreme!”

“Are you seriously accusing me of being a person who just stands back and lets shit happen to people, and refuses to intervene? You?” Daan is quiet and furious behind him and Matthew feels a chill in the room.

He should have gone home. Yup, Matthew really really hates being stuck in a place with two people arguing on a personal level. This is getting personal.

“You’d do anything for the people you love Daan.” Lukas retorts in a tightly controlled monotone. “I would never question you if Arthur was your friend, because I wouldn’t have to. But Arthur is not your friend. He’s my friend, and you’ve been annoyed with me for years, rightfully so, I’ll admit. Now he’s a Partner, he’s your rival. You fought so hard to get to where you are, and let’s be honest here...we both know Arthur, and I know you. I wouldn’t be surprised if you took him on to monitor just how much you need to keep an eye on him in the first place.”

Daan scoffs. “When I spoke to Arthur about him transferring to my team, the deal was for him to take over European projects, while I took on Asia, and we’d more or less split Canada. Asia’s where the money is right now so I actually have more to do, he’s welcome to more of Canada. He’s a Partner now because I’m only one man! There’s only so much I can do, and I can only be in one place at a time! I have limits! But by the time that ambitious little friend of yours is ready to try to take even Asia for me, hell if I’m worth my salt, I’ll have a new service line by then, and a bigger role. Arthur can have the old stuff.”

That’s interesting. Matthew looks at Daan with interest. “What’s the new service line you’re planning for?”

Daan only winks. “Can’t give away all my secrets.”

It’s clean - the deal struck between Daan and Arthur, but Matthew also can’t help the disquiet he feels within. Daan and Arthur are both intensely ambitious and tough, Daan made it sound straightforward but the truth was, it is likely they will eventually clash. There is only so much either would be able to do to not step on each other’s toes.

“So let me get this straight.” Lukas replies. “You’re leaving Arthur alone because of a gentleman’s agreement?”

Daan laughs. “Did you come here to pick a fight with me or something? First you accuse me of running a loose ship. Then you imply that I should have threatened Arthur’s promotion unless he stopped drinking and maybe picked up a worse vice to get the job done. It’s obvious you don’t know how Partnership promotions work so let me explain it to you. They’re different from every other promotion in the firm. Your boss doesn’t promote you, all the partners vote and agree or disagree to let you join their ranks. For me to have carried through with the threat you wanted me to make, I would have had to speak to all the partners behind the scenes, reveal Arthur’s alcoholism, and use THAT to convince them not to promote him. That kind of thing can’t be taken back, if I had done that and they decided that he couldn’t be trusted enough to join the partnership now, that’s it for him. Alcoholism? Arthur would never make Partner, in this firm, or any firm, ever. Who knows if he’d ever find another job? Do you know how many people are crackheads or worse and are CEOs? Arthur’s vice isn’t even the worst and it shouldn’t destroy his life. You’re saying that I didn’t do my job as his boss because I wasn’t willing to do that. Then you imply that I’m letting him kill himself because I’m a pimp or I’m afraid he’ll threaten my job. First off, how dare you? I know how to keep my job and Arthur Fucking Kirkland is not going to be any threat to me. Second, where the fuck have you been Mr ‘I’m a concerned friend’, while Arthur had to figure his own methods of dealing with stress on his own? Wait I know, probably the same place you were when my best friend,” He points at Mathias’ door, the music still streaming from it, “Fucking broke because of you.”

“Okay!” Matthew yells. “This conversation isn’t getting anywhere tonight! Bad timing, bad moods, we’re tired, we’re leaving!” He strides towards the door and hears Mathias’ study door open.

“Well it looks like that talk went to shit.” Mathias says sardonically, with a glance at Daan and Lukas.

Matthew just wants to get out, “Thanks for dinner.”

“Matthew wait!” Daan has closed the distance by now to meet him at the door. “It’s late. We have guest rooms, stay the night.”

“Are you kidding?!” Matthew explodes. “I thought I was brought here to help figure out some kind of three-pronged-approach to helping a man whom I respect. Instead I had to sit there while you two fought over whatever your issues are! Lukas, if you wanted to pick a fight with him, did you really need me to drive you here to do it? Tonight? Mathias...honestly, nothing against you, dinner was lovely, really lovely, I’m just…” He looks around at the three shocked faces staring at him. “Look guys, I really really hate being in a room when people fight okay? In my experience it’s always unnecessary to expose someone else to it. It’s rude, it doesn’t solve anything, and it just makes you look really bad. See you at work.” Matthew tries to open the door again, but now Lukas speaks up.

“Matthew you’re right. You’re absolutely right. I asked you here to help and didn’t let you. I’m sorry, but please, don’t drive.”

That’s an odd request. “What?”

Lukas takes a step closer. “You said it yourself, you’re exhausted, and you’re mad. Even if I get into a car with you, we’d probably end up talking about even more distracting things, and you wouldn’t be able to concentrate on the road, I wouldn’t be able to help you because I don’t drive and backseat driving is a shit habit. We all had a good time at dinner, we can just...shower and sleep, start the new day tomorrow.”

The earlier argument about intervening to save someone’s life comes to Matthew’s mind. “I haven’t been drinking any whisky Lukas, and I’ve driven at far later hours, while even more tired before, and I never fell asleep at the wheel. Look, I drove you here, I’ll drive you back, but if you don’t trust me to-”

“Matthew.” Mathias cuts in. “Usually when people really want to do something I don’t stop them but you have to understand,” He looks at Lukas with concern, and now Matthew finally realizes that the man looks unnaturally pale. “The three of us here are pretty...cautious when it comes to driving.”

There’s a warning in that tone and it finally hits Matthew. Lukas lost his parents unexpectedly in a car accident - two people that Mathias and Daan must have also known once and mourned. Fuck. Matthew deflates and releases the door handle - he’s angry but he understands something about irrational fears. The other three men noticeably relax. “Is this why none of you drive?” They look at each other. “Whatever. Fine,” He’s still not happy with the circumstance though. The look he gives to Daan must not be pleasant, considering the other man’s expression, but Matthew doesn’t care. “Where’s the guest room?” He’s not looking forward to having to possibly sleep in a robe and wearing the same dirty clothes tomorrow.

“Well, first let me show you where the washer and dryer are.” Daan responds neutrally, as if reading his mind. Washer and dryer - of course Daan would have his own. Matthew still goes to the laundromat. Once they arrive to the back fo the kitchen, Daan gives him the brief tour. “If you throw your clothes in before your shower, you shouldn’t have to wait too long to throw them into the dryer by the time you’re done. Tomorrow morning you just need to iron them before wearing them. Also, we’re transitioning into being a zero-waste household, so we use soap nuts unless the clothes are really filthy.” He shows Matthew the soap nuts which...honestly Matthew has never seen soap nuts before in his life. He listens to Daan’s straightforward instructions about just tossing in a cloth bag with the nuts in them into the cycle, then shows Matthew the relatively simple controls on both machines. “Guest room is here.”

Matthew follows Daan into a surprisingly well-maintained guest room. Sure enough, when he opens a closet he sees clothes hanging up in it, but they’re a little small to be Daan’s, not to mention the style and cut is different, sometimes flashy. “Does someone live here?”

“No,” Daan can’t quite manage a full smirk, but tries. “But my brother Christian is fond of crashing here sometimes. He keeps stuff here so he doesn’t have to bother packing an overnight bag. Here-”

Matthew follows Daan to a dresser, where he opens to drawer to reveal a year’s supply of free hotel toiletries. “What the…”

“Toothbrush, razor…” Daan takes out the little boxes and hands them over. “As for soaps...knock yourself out, but hotel soaps are generally neutrally scented so I don’t know if there’s any point being choosy, and they’re all drying so...” He pulls out a bottle of free hotel moisturizer.

“You...never have to buy soap, shampoo, conditioner or moisturizer ever again…” Matthew can’t quite believe the ridiculous collection and amount of stuff. It’s hard to really come to terms with how much Daan must travel.

“Not quite.” Daan states proudly. “Yeah, toiletries aren’t anything I need to waste my money on for the time being, but I prefer my electric razor to these cheap plastic ones that hotels usually give out. But this is basically why we’re not quite zero-waste yet. Here,” He pulls open another drawer. “Towels. You may be…” Daan scrutinizes him, and if Matthew weren’t so peeved or exhausted, he would have felt a little more embarrassed. “Well, I got some loose clothes and a robe.”

He leaves Matthew in blissful solitude, so Matthew sinks to the bed, ready to put the day behind him. He still has to shower and launder his clothes, but not till he has that robe so he doesn’t give everyone in the apartment a show. Something soft nudges at his hand on the bed and he turns to see Maple sniffing around. His heart lifts immediately and he runs his fingers over the rabbit’s fur. “Do my hands still smell like dinner? Is that it?”

Maple climbs into Matthew’s hands and he lifts him up for some very welcome cuddling. When he hears footsteps behind in into the room, he says, “Maybe I should get Arthur a rabbit, who could drink and be depressed when you have one of these cuddling up to you and needing your care?”

Matthew doesn’t turn around even though there’s a long pause. “Kitten.” Daan says.

“What?”

“Cats are at least a little better at taking care of themselves, but still require care. A puppy or rabbit would be too much for Arthur.”

Matthew turns and sees that as promised, Daan has found some clothes he can borrow. “Maybe a very friendly tabby,” Matthew responds. “Some kind of friendlier cat at least. Arthur kind of...I think he needs something very affectionate.”

Daan chuckles slightly. “Just make sure he doesn’t spoil it, if that’s the route you’re going to take. Anyway, clothes, robe. I think that’s it for the immediate practical stuff. The only remaining thing is...the apology. I’m sorry you had to sit there, I can get defensive when someone questions how I lead my team if I don’t think there’s any substance to it, and Lukas sometimes feels like life is too short and unpredictable to give important things their time, so he’s prone to making instant decisions and following through with them based on what he, alone, feels is right. He’s not stupid, he usually makes the right decision, but whenever that decision involves me, sometimes we clash. As for everything else, Lukas and I will hash that out between us.”

Matthew oddly doesn’t feel anything. He’s annoyed of course, that he had to be put through that in the first place, but overall he’s too tired to feel right now. “I’m really exhausted. It’s a weeknight, it’s already midnight, I have a call tomorrow morning that I need to be in the office for, and I still have to get ready for bed.” The truth was, it was entirely possible be wouldn’t sleep tonight - too exhausted yes, but with too much now on his mind, and the added discomfort of sleeping in a place that wasn’t his. Sleeping in Daan’s apartment, of all places. He hated that state - too tired to sleep, but too much on his mind.

Daan nods. “Right. Well, goodnight. I’ll leave the door a little open if you don’t mind, in case Maple wants to leave and roam later.”

The thought of Maple leaving his side must have made his face fell because Daan looks fondly amused for a moment. “Fine, that’s fair.” Matthew grumbles.

With a nod, Daan leaves. Later, after Matthew has finished his shower and goes to throw his and Lukas’ clothes in the dryer, he sees that Daan and Lukas are still up, speaking softly to each other at the table with a bottle of red wine and two full glasses. If Matthew didn’t know better, he’d think they were having a date, with the dim lighting of the apartment and all, but right now he’s too exhausted to care, even though he’s just had a shower. “You two have caffeine for blood.” He complains.

“I already put the clothes in the dryer Matthew. Go to sleep.” Lukas sounds very brotherly in that moment, and Matthew imagines that this must be the tone that Emil hears all the time.

“Have a glass of wine if that’ll help you.” Daan gives him a familiar catlike smile. “Since we’ve managed to drag you, kicking and screaming from your car, one glass of red in the evening is supposed to be good for you.”

Matthew shakes his head with a laugh. “Maybe another time.”

“Well,” Daan walks to the kitchen and produces another glass and pours wine into it. “Just in case, so you don’t have to get out and hunt around later if you change your mind. Goodnight.”

“Thanks.”

In a few moments, warmed with wine, tucked in between clean sheets and a newer mattress than his own (and fluffier pillows than he’s used to), Matthew is surprised at how comfortable he is, right before he falls asleep.

#aph canada #aph netherlands #fic: Mr 7th floor #nedcan #hetaliarairpaircentral

15 notes · View notes

nedcanquen · 7 years

Text

Chapter 7: Mr 7th Floor

*Sorry it’s been more than a month hasn’t it since I updated this fic - got a little distracted last month with NedCan week and writing different stuff but I haven’t forgotten this story!

This chapter is a little different from the previous ones, mostly in that it’s very transitional (aka not much NedCan in this chapter).

Thanks for reading!

Pairings: NedCan (endgame), NorCan, implied NedDen, DenNor (I can’t believe I missed this in the last update), implied Spamano, France/Jeanne d’Arc, GerIta

Image from Pexels

“Wow Mattie! You look like shit!” Trust Alfred to state the obvious. Matthew rolls his eyes and adjusts his laptop screen so he can better see his brother. Alfred has a schedule for calls from the ISS, in addition to everything else on his plate. Between the public engagements when the whole team up there has to speak to students, or the professional ones where they speak with Houston, Korolev and other cities, other personal calls such as Al having to speak with Aunt Polly and their Dad, well, Matthew and Alfred speak once a month. It was time that Matthew ensured he never missed, even if he was sick and feeling terrible. Such as today.

“Thanks Al.” Matthew croaks carefully, it didn’t take much to send him into a coughing fit right now. “You look…tired but, happy. That’s important.” He sighs. “Ugh, sorry I’m going to be kinda medicated for this call but yeah, this bug just caught me by surprise a few days ago.” It was ridiculous. Matthew had finally decided to take some time off thanks to the leeway he got from the accident, maybe make time to go on a solo hike but no, two days after Daan became his newest friend, Matthew woke up with the telltale signs of an oncoming flu - body aches, exhaustion, a sore sinus and throat.

“Don’t apologize for being sick Mattie,” Alfred being upside down really wasn’t helping. “Like, at least it’s an excuse for you to take some time off. You work too hard.”

Matthew laughs, then coughs and regrets it. His brother literally lived his job and Matthew worked too hard? “I’m sick because I had time off. You ever get the feeling that-” Coughs, “Sometimes when you stop, your body decides to take the moment to get revenge on you?” He didn’t want to explain that the doctor had called it stress - a combination of the physical and mental burden heightening in one time that made his body weaker and more susceptible to external bugs. It was ridiculous - stress. There were millions of people he was sure, whose lives were far more stressful than his and they weren’t sick. Partners should never work, Alfred wouldn’t be in space. Matthew didn’t want to argue, he just wanted his medication and to leave, so he nodded without listening much, then left the doctor.

Of course, Alfred had to inevitably ask. “Well, it’s good that you’re taking a break anyway. What made even you decide to stop for a moment?”

Matthew smiles despite it all, imagining the echo of Daan’s laughter still bouncing off his walls. He takes a sip of the hot honey lemon he’s cradling in his hands. “I’ll type it. I wouldn’t mind telling you it’s just…” He stops again to hack up a lung. “I don’t think I’ll be able to. Though could you do me a favor and um...try not to be upside down?”

“Sure thing!”

Matthew did his best to type out the events of the previous week, but found that the old competitive streak made it hard. He didn’t want to tell his accomplished younger brother that he missed his promotion, he didn’t want to admit that he kind of got dumped but he hadn’t even told Alfred he had been dating in the first place. In the end, he settled for almost getting hit by a car for being a dumbass who didn’t look both ways before crossing the street, and making a new friend...and getting sick.

“So let me try to get this straight...you took time off because you nearly got run over by a car and that’s why you think you got sick?” He hears his brother ask over the speakers.

For all people complained about his brother being unable to ‘read the atmosphere’, the truth was well, Alfred could...selectively. Also, the selectiveness overall changed after Alfred joined NASA - the mission was important enough, the organization’s culture made up in such a way, that Alfred learned to at least be self aware and check his natural competitive aggressiveness into mere assertiveness (though Alfred sometimes still didn’t know the difference between the two). There were many at NASA and others in space programs all over the world who were smarter than Alfred (though Alfred was still the youngest, if he continued, he would lead his field at the same age most astronauts were on average), and as strong as Alfred - that kept his brother in check. They couldn’t completely get rid of the competitive man that Alfred was, but they encouraged the dreamer in him, which was arguably Alfred’s best quality when it wasn’t combined with righteousness. They also didn’t let Alfred always get his way without a good challenge. It was good overall, forcing Alfred to mature in ways that Matthew had never convinced him to, so Matthew’s pretty grateful to space for that too.

Except that now his brother was actually perceptive when Matthew didn’t want him to be. Alfred has an expression on his face, neutral save for the slightly raised eyebrow. Matthew can read Alfred well enough to know that his brother knows something isn’t being said and prepares for the needling. To his surprise though...

“But like...the flu is why you’re staying in bed, you didn’t like...break anything when you almost got hit? You sure you weren’t hurt from the car accident?” He asks in a neutral tone - neutral from Alfred means suspicious, but at least he’s not pushing it for now.

Matthew lets out a slight sigh of relief, “I got checked out after the accident, I’m fine.” Maybe he underestimates Alfred. Maybe he doesn’t actually know his brother all that well and should give him a bit more credit Maybe it’s because he’s finally noticed his brother actually trying so he feels inclined to return the favor. “It’s just...I guess…”

“Yeah?”

Matthew gives in and types out what he left out before as quickly as he can, but he’s still trying to make it sound more positive than he actually feels - he was expecting a promotion but didn’t get it, but he had been fast-tracked to begin with anyway, making Associate Director in five years would have been great but it didn’t have to happen now, he can take his time. He leaves out Lukas and simply says ‘I met a guy, it didn’t really work out but we still get along’, rather than ‘I got dumped the same day I wasn’t promoted and I felt like shit’. He’s still not entirely honest but some things, like feelings of despair, those things you keep to yourself when you speak to your competitive brother. This was a compromise of sorts. He finishes and scrutinizes the screen and the grainy video of Alfred concentrating on reading his message. He sees his brother go slack-jawed. “WHAT!!!?”

Maybe Matthew’s trust had been a little premature. He takes in a deep breath. As Alfred keeps reading the screen, then his brother’s face morphs into one of deep thought. Alfred’s ‘thinking face’ scared most people, which was probably why he tried to smile as much as he did. Matthew isn’t prepared for what he hears next though.

“You have this dopey smile on your face Mattie, are you like...into this Dan guy?”

“WHAT?! NO!” Matthew manages to yell but it causes yet another coughing fit so he stops while Alfred rattles on. He’s NEVER told Al about his crush on Daan, NEVER. How did he? Oh God, how obvious is Matthew?

“As for the dumb boss, fuck it Mattie! Just...finally claim your US citizenship, you’re eligible thanks to Dad, and move down here, earn more money and like...live better.”

Matthew rolled his eyes. Live better his ass, at least he could get most treatment at a hospital for free and expect reasonable amounts of leave compared to what he would otherwise get if he moved down south. “Al, I’m not leaving Canada just because my boss didn’t promote me when I wanted him to. And Daan isn’t actually my boss, he’s just another Partner in the firm.”

Alfred shrugs with a humorless laugh. He had never really appreciated Matthew’s job, eyes glazing over before talking about space and the next frontier. It occurs to Matthew that they haven’t actually talked about space yet, they’ve just been talking about him, it’s oddly refreshing. “Oh before I forget, do you know a lady called Yekaterina Braginskaya at PK&DE? She may be in a different city.”

That was another surprise, how did Al know about Yekaterina? “She sits on my floor actually.”

“Really?! No way! You guys have something in common!”

Matthew thinks a moment. “She knows someone on the ISS?”

“Ha. Yeah, her brother. We were talking the other day and found out that you two may actually know each other. Ivan is one of the cosmonauts here. Creepy guy if you ask me but he seems to love his sister, and he does know his stuff. Not as good as me of course, because he has no moral compass, but whatever.” Alfred grudgingly says, which makes Matthew think that whoever Yekaterina’s brother is, he’s a lot more competent than simply ‘he knows his stuff’. He knew his stuff enough that he had awakened Al’s competitive streak.

“Oh that’s…” The coincidence was pretty cool actually. Matthew had no idea but maybe he’d knock on her door whenever he recovered well enough to go back to work. “Interesting. I don’t know her well, but…I know you may scoff Al, but sometimes I do get worried about you up there. It may be good to be able to speak about that with someone.” Matthew also wonders if it is natural to be simultaneously proud but jealous of a younger sibling but that probably wasn’t something to open a first conversation with.

Alfred shrugs. “Probably how Ivan and I don’t see eye to eye on most things but we do agree that...you two deserve more. He makes her sound like sweetness incarnate but scary when she’s mad, and you’re...ha! We actually got into a bit of a competition over who has the nicer sibling and whose sibling is scarier when mad. I know you’re looking at me like I’d pick a fight over anything but man I’ve never had a real conversation with Ivan before this that wasn’t about work. Like, I told him about you and he helped me appreciate that, yeah, you’ve been promoted mad fast. I get that now, of course you have because you’re you.” Oh. It’s nice to hear praise from his brother for once. Matthew tries to remember how often he praises his brother for his accomplishments...not much to be honest. Alfred never seemed the type to need it. “But it’s also hard to imagine what you guys do over there, and I know you explain it but I just...look Mattie I try, but I glaze over. And YOU glaze over when I get beyond the surface on dark matter, so it’s not just me okay? But like...it’s kind of cartoonish I know, what we try to think up, like dull and grey and numbery, surrounded by boring dull people who give you more numbers and you’re the only splashes of color there. It’s probably not like that at all.”

Matthew laughs and coughs again at the image of two men living in space being unable to imagine something as mundane as professional services when he can barely wrap his head around what they do. “How poetic. I’m...thanks Al. I don’t really say this because I kind of think it’s a given but even though I glaze over when you try to explain it to me, I’m proud of you. I am. I feel kinda privileged to have been part of a conversation in space I mean, you two discuss your boring siblings when you’re studying dark matter, time travel or...I dunno, everything you do up there in space?”

Alfred laughs too. “We have mice up here. I don’t directly work with them but you know, they’re the closest things we have to pets up here...if you don’t get too attached to them anyway. Well, these are sibling mice. Some are up here, the others are down below as part of the control setup. We got mauldin one day I guess, and just ended up talking about the mice during our break. It was weird.”

Matthew can’t help the fond smile breaking out on his face. It was an odd story but... “I miss you too Al. And I know you’re you but...take care of yourself up there okay…”

He still feels a little sad after the call ends, well, happy and sad. It’s been nice to talk to Alfred since he’s been on board the ISS. He wonders if his newly-matured brother is someone that will remain once he returns to Earth but either way, it’s still nice to see his brother growing up. Alfred didn’t always take challenges gracefully, being a genius he was always in a class of his own. But the state of genius is a lonely place, so Matthew thinks that maybe Alfred may understand more now than Matthew ever gave him credit for before. Besides, it seemed to him that as much as his brother complained about this Ivan guy, he was probably happy to have company, even if that company is mostly manifesting as a rivalry. He tries to ignore what Alfred said about Matthew’s dopey smile

As Matthew checks his messages, he sees the email from an old classmate - someone open to taking on the job of working with Mathias. Matthew sighs and hopes for the best. For a moment he contemplates sending the promised contact to Mathias through Emil but quickly dismisses the idea. He’s not a moody teenager, he’s an adult damnit, he’s not involving a kid and besides a promise is a promise. Lukas was his friend, first and foremost and he wished him, them, the best. No matter how awkward he feels, Matthew virtually introduces Matthias and his old classmate as professionally as possible by email and hits ‘send’.

Afterwards Matthew realizes he’s bored. He’s sick enough that he can’t really go outside, tired enough that he doesn’t feel like moving about, but still restless. He supposes he should cook himself something though and realizes that he does happen to have enough for chicken soup, and hey, aren’t tomatoes full of vitamin C? It was time to finish them all up anyway.

He’s in the middle of slicing up onions and wiping tears when his phone dings.

DAAN: Universe still hate you? DAAN: Flu DAAN: Also, Mathias is grateful but is hounding me for my opinion on whether or not he should call you to thank you, or if that would be rude DAAN: I’m not going to waste time trying to imagine what’s going on in your head DAAN: So what do you want? Text or call? DAAN: Had a good talk with your brother?

The last question surprises Matthew. He had mentioned the call the Alfred in passing after watching videos of cute bunnies for about an hour but didn’t expect Daan to remember. Then again, it’s space, and also, Partners had to remember key things, so Matthew shouldn’t have been surprised. It’s Saturday, and Daan must be bored as heck when he doesn’t work. That’s the only reason Matthew can imagine for why his phone is being attacked with messages, but it brings a smile to his face all the same. After a few moments of tossing the onions into the pot, washing and drying his hands, he types a few replies.

YOU: Text YOU: Would probably have a coughing fit if I tried to talk YOU: Despite that, had a pretty good talk with the brother. Apparently Yekaterina Braginskaya’s brother is a cosmonaut. He’s my brother’s colleague. DAAN: Small world DAAN: ‘typing…’

*1 MESSAGE NOTIFICATION*

Mathias Kohler: Thanks for the intro Matthew! Heard you’re sick, that sucks man, hope you feel better soon. There’ll always be maple syrup danishes for you here once you feel better.

Matthew types out a quick reply: “Hope he manages to help you out, and thanks.”

DAAN: Need me to bring anything over so you can continue resting up?

Yeah there was no way Matthew would be able to handle that right now.

YOU: I’m contagious, but thanks. I have enough I think. And according to the doc, I’m sick because the universe loves me. Go figure.

Matthew lowers the heat to let the pot go at a simmer and shuffles over to his couch.

DAAN: I honestly don’t understand how you can call that love

There’s not much he can say to that so he just leaves it. A few minutes later though, there’s an adorable picture of Maple having a nap on a coach under a sunbeam.

DAAN: This is the universe loving a creature. Notice the difference.

Feeling oddly petty and lighthearted, Matthew pulls the curtains open wider and falls back on his old couch, letting the light fall across his face. He’s squinting and it’s an ugly picture - he’s still in his pajamas, with unkept hair, red eyes and nose, and a sickly pallour. Matthew never takes selfies, but he does let himself get pulled into them when Michelle takes them. Anyway, this isn’t meant to be a beauty shot, this is proving a point to a guy who always needs the last word.

YOU: I know it’s hard to accept the obvious sometimes, but there’s no need to be jealous.

There’s no immediate response so Matthew leaves the phone be. If he doesn’t rip himself from it, he won’t put it down all day. A few hours later after he’s happily fed and medicated, Matthew lies back down on his bed and smiles in drug-induced relaxation. It’s only then that he checks his phone again.

DAAN: Oh God you’re really gone DAAN: Go to sleep

With a shrug, Matthew does just that.

“It’s nice to see you in good spirits mate. You’re the happiest sickie I’ve ever seen.” Jack says by way of greeting. Matthew has to laugh in response. He’s finally back to work after more than a week off and he’s not completely recovered but he’s on the mend.

“Yeah well, when you almost die a few days before getting a little flu, it does put things into perspective.” Matthew shrugs. “It’s good to be alive, even sick, you get to you know, feel things.”

“That’s the spirit!” Jack laughs. “Gotta stay positive right?”

Jack settles down in his chair. This lunch appointment was for furthering the plans for Arthur’s celebration.

“Speaking of staying positive, with how limited our budget is, we can’t even get a bottle of good congratulatory champagne, or we can, but then we’d only have champagne, or we could have an actual party. I’m hoping we’re missing some zeroes because that can’t be right?” Matthew asks. Daan is known for being cheap but even Matthew thinks this is ridiculous. He had thought of asking Daan about it before he remembered he was working with Jack specifically so Daan wouldn’t have to worry about planning this thing after he approved a budget for it.

It’s not that Matthew wants the party to be a drunken celebration, he shudders thinking of some nights carrying Arthur home after office parties or even client parties (sometimes he felt that clients kept Arthur around because he amused them so much when he had a few drinks in him), but this was the ultimate promotion and it was for Arthur, there had to be *some* good drinks. People had to let loose once in a while and heck, Matthew was willing to carry Arthur home if it came down to it.

Jack smiles but his face is tight. “There’s no mistake. Look it’s a riot when Arthur is drunk because he’s so different, but bossman is pretty finished with it.”

“Still…” Matthew muses. “It’s a celebration, if we get a good bottle of champagne that’s harmless.”

“Ha! Don’t worry about it. Just blame it on Daan being cheap. That way Arthur won’t be mad at you.”

Matthew rolls his eyes. “We can’t blame everything on Daan being cheap! Has he actually been as cheap as they say? Or is it you guys using him as an excuse?” He demands, oddly defensive. To his own knowledge, he’s never personally seen this miserly side of Daan that seems to be so famous. Maybe he’s also being protective over his new friend.

“That’s right, you only met him after he made Partner. Nowadays it’s not as bad. Daan believes in hard work and earning your keep, but he’s seriously judgemental over what you spend money on. He’ll pay for your training no problem. But Arthur loving to drink obviously doesn’t qualify. The budget for a newly minted Partner should be more than this but Daan’s probably strangling it specifically so Arthur doesn’t get embarrassingly pissed, at least not on department money because...Arthur drinks...a fucking lot.”

Matthew frowns. “Can’t blame Daan I guess, and I’m not crazy about how much Arthur loves his alcohol, but he is a grown man and if that just means dragging him back for an occasional night or two…”

“Was that all you had to do before?” Jack interrupts, curious. “A night or two?”

Alarm bells are ringing in Matthew’s head. “How often is it now?”

Jack shrugs. “Well in Europe we reached a point where it was pretty much everyday. You think I got these arms from gym and rugby alone?”

Matthew’s eyes widen.

“Look mate, he can handle it, but they drink a lot in Europe and Arthur was wining and dining clients every night.”

Matthew doesn’t want to judge, he really doesn’t, but “Everyday! Look a glass of red wine everyday is normal, enjoying drinks on weekends and Friday nights probably isn’t great but it makes sense, but being dragged back because you’re passed out drunk everyday is alcoholism.”

Jack shakes his head. “Nah, I know alcoholics, they’re a mess and they always smell like alcohol. Arthur can still get to work and get the job done, and he does it well too. Wouldn’t have made Partner if he couldn’t handle it.” He thinks more and frowns. “I was only worried about him one night - that night was wild, the boys in blue were called in and some fines were paid. I dragged Arthur home while he was dressed in some porny nurse Halloween costume, still have no fucking clue where that came from. Since then, bossman has forbidden Arthur from even touching a cider at work. They cut a deal - Daan said, finish Maplecorp, deliver the best work the firm has ever seen, and he’ll make Partner as deserved. Bossman also said he doesn’t care what Arthur decides to do with his private life, but don’t embarrass the team like this. So yeah, I kinda forgot not everyone knows, it is a secret I guess. But that’s why this is going to be the most boring ass promotion party ever.”

Matthew can only stare wide eyed with his jaw drops. “What the...when did it get so bad?”

Jack shrugs. “Didn’t mean to scare you. Look I think he has a handle on it but I think it just picked up during Maplecorp. Now he’s back in Canada he should return to being the occasional social drinker since he doesn’t like going out much. Maplecorp was different - Arthur wanted to be responsible for it, and he was, and you know him...he was solely responsible. But, it was a fucking huge project. Back in Europe he just started...drinking a lot but it was client relationship stuff. That’s the best I can guess, I’m not exactly in his head. Arthur is...I dunno if this was it when he was with you guys but, Arthur is a walking mass of contradictions, but he does the job well, and he’s been a mentor to me too so I respect him but... he just doesn’t cope with stress as well.”

Jack at least seems concerned now, even as he tries to reassure Matthew but Matthew still looks away, confused. Now that he thinks about it, Arthur has been different. He didn’t know about the alcohol until now but Arthur has been more aloof even by his standards. Matthew had never seen him since he returned from the end of the Maplecorp project, spoken to him on the phone and all yes but not seen him, that also was rude of him. Matthew told himself that Arthur was busy, and maybe operating off some old etiquette book where junior staff had to go see him before Arthur said ‘hello’. But Matthew hasn’t had time to deal with that with all his problems, and maybe was scared that his old mentor would be disappointed in him, so he didn’t exactly reach out.

“Fuck.” Matthew swears in agreement. “Fine, quick fix then. Anyone in the department have kids?”

“Yeah.”

“Good, invite them, we’ll make this a big celebration, but a warm and simple one. The kids being around will give us an excuse to just buy non-alcoholic drinks like that...sparkling juice stuff packed in champagne bottles that aren’t champagne. We still get the ‘pop’, Arthur loves kids, and as far as I know, he won’t let himself go crazy around them, though he may tell them scary stories or whatever. I’ll make sure Francis brings Jean. She’s a doctor, and she’ll be able to guess if he actually has a problem or if I’m over-reacting. Kids and Jean, they’re pleasant, it’ll be pleasant. He may even enjoy himself. We’ll also invite people whom he used to work with like Belle, or friends like Lukas, if they’re free. A party doesn’t need to have alcohol to be fun, but if work is making Arthur drink like there’s no tomorrow, I don’t want him solely surrounded by work, even though this is a Partner party.”

Jack’s eyes light up. “Belle as in, my boss’s hot sister?”

Matthew rolls his eyes and laughs. “Yeah. Does Daan know you have a crush on his sister?”

Jack shrugs. “Everyone has a crush on her, it can’t be a surprise. But...good plan about the kids. I’ll let Daan know about it when I get back from lunch. If it’s non-alcoholic, we can save on drink money and actually cater real food.”

“Or make it a potluck. Get this as homey as possible.” As far as he knew, Arthur lived alone and wasn’t the best cook, as much as he tried to improve, but he wouldn’t say no to home-cooked food.

“Hey hey!” Jack laughs. “Don’t spoil my boss with the discounts! No wonder he likes you so much!”

It was a harmless statement but because of his embarassing history with crushing on Daan, it made Matthew freeze a little. Thankfully Jack just barreled on.

“My cousin makes damned good ice cream, he knows Arthur too, looked up to him once. Maybe I can convince him to make a whole lot for us at a special price. Keep the kids happy.”

Matthew nods, deciding that he’s too jumpy today. “I’ll never say no to good ice cream. Could you also think of a venue that could accommodate all this? Because I’m drawing a blank.

Jack grins. “Leave that to me. So, next week, follow-up meeting?”

Matthew nods. “Sounds good. Is Arthur in today?”

“Yeah, though he’s only free by around four if you were planning on dropping by.”

“Thanks.” Matthew sighs and leans back in his chair. It was good to be doing things again rather than just lying in bed and watching Netflix, but the human drama it seemed, was never-ending. Maybe he should leave it alone but he can’t. “You all knew?” He had to ask.

Jack purses his lips and shrugs. “It just didn’t occur to us as a problem. If it ever affected work or led any of us to harm, Arthur would be gone. But Arthur’s still great at his job.”

“So you guys are just going to wait for it to get that bad.” Matthew sighs, he can’t help himself and Jack bristles.

“Look Matthew. It may be a problem, it may not be, but even if it is, we can’t fix Arthur. The only person who can fix Arthur is Arthur. It’s nice that you’re concerned. Maybe it’s different in your team, but we don’t really baby each other in M&A, we make our own achievements. There’s a point where you have to take what you want, where you make changes to yourself. Arthur knows that.”

Matthew shakes his head and forces his anger to subside, breathes in and out. Arguing over this wouldn’t solve anything but he responds with a slight glare. “I’m worried. This is news to me I really need to see him.”

Jack nods, a little more seriously now. “Knock yourself out mate. Hopefully this is all nothing, and like you said, we’re not doctors.” After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Jack adds lightly. “Hey Matthew, you’re going to the management conference next month right?” Maybe Jack is changing the subject to erase the tension that had built.

Matthew laughs. He may not be an Associate Director but only Directors and above got to have rooms to themselves so it hardly mattered to him. “I slave away for this firm all year, I’m not missing it when they decide to treat me to a beach resort.” Not to mention, next month is July. Matthew doesn’t usually announce his birthday because he’s more than happy to share it with his country, it feels like the whole nation is celebrating with him, but a beach getaway during his birthday month is a nice bonus after all the setbacks.

Jack smiles and nods. “Great? Gotta roommate? I’ve usually been stuck rooming with Gabe, but we’re not allowed to room together again this time. Last year we stayed up late watching the Wallabies-Springbok game and apparently we were so into it that our neighbours made a formal complaint to their Partner, who took it up with Daan! Damn, they have no life! As if whenever Stanley Cup season rolls around it isn’t worse.”

Matthew smiles in amusement but isn’t sure what Jack is talking about. “Wallabies-Springbok? Is that...” He remembers the jersey he borrowed so long ago now. “Rugby?”

“That’s right. Rugby Championships, it’s a big rugby competition that’s just between four countries. When I grew up it was just called the Tri-Nations, and it was just Australia, New Zealand and South Africa - huge rivalry between those three and Gabe’s South African. It’s not like we’ll be watching next month, there’s no game, but a complaint is a complaint.”

“Oh...sure. Yeah let’s room together.” He doesn’t mind, and he figures, no sports, no crazy Jack. And besides, he has more pressing matters to be concerned about right now.

Matthew makes his way to the 7th floor at four o’clock. Arthur has been moved into a room that is two rooms over from Daan’s but it’s somewhat nice to see Arthur’s nameplate on the glass door. Unfortunately, Arthur himself doesn’t look happy. He’s on the phone at his new desk and it looks like he’s been on the phone for a while.

Arthur looks up and appears a little surprised but heartened to see him, then points at his phone and rolls his eyes. Matthew nods, understanding that Arthur is going to be held up for a while. Maybe Matthew ought to just be proactive and try to set up a lunch appointment with Arthur. As he turns around, he feels he’s already seen what he’s come to see anyway.

Arthur looks like he’s aged 10 years in the past three. He’s chubby now and has probably increased three or four clothes sizes, his gut strains against the belt that cinches his waist. Arthur’s hair looks almost grey and his skin has taken on a splotchy pink color. It could be stress alone wreaking havoc on Arthur’s body, but that probably isn’t it.

“Hey Matthew.” Jack greets, “Sorry we’re all going to be bad hosts, there’s some emergency that’s popped up, and with two different projects at the same time. That’s the breaks. Look at them, they’re both spitting flames.”

Through the glass doors, Matthew can see Daan pacing around his room and speaking at his phone in a curt tone, presumably on speaker. Echoes of his voice drift out into the main seating area and Matthew realises he can’t understand a word of it. It doesn’t sound like a European language either. That’s not really important though, what’s striking is that Daan is older than Arthur, and right now Arthur looks like he’s Daan’s pissed-off uncle, well no, there’s no resemblance between the two of them, but it’s still shocking. Matthew finds he can’t really speak so he just nods. He looks around at the stressed out team - they’re oddly quiet by their standards, rapidly typing on their computers or holding phones to their ears, presumably also taking part in the calls that their ultimate bosses are commenting on, or on some other business. It’s normal for them, no one seems to think there’s anything odd with the picture. Matthew can understand new staff not being concerned, but the guys like Jack who have been here for a while and have seen what Arthur used to look like?

Maybe it’s stark only because they saw Arthur’s transformation gradually, whereas Matthew saw him three years ago and can see the drastic change.

Matthew doesn’t know if he should be asking Lukas for help. Arthur is his old mentor and their relationship is mostly professional, but Arthur and Lukas are former MBA classmates. They had apparently formed some kind of folklore or naturalist club (he can’t recall the details) together with another Romanian student, or so Lukas had informed him when they first met. Matthew also doesn’t know if it’s his place to seek an intervention. He’s not Arthur’s family or friend, and it appeared his entire team had decided to respect Arthur’s autonomy. Maybe that’s the right thing to do. What he wants to do kind of smacks of Alfred, interfering with things because he just wanted to help, sometimes going where he wasn’t welcome. Either way, maybe Lukas would have an opinion on that, it wasn’t exactly something Matthew could figure out on his own.

Ultimately, Matthew pressed the call button, because Lukas wasn’t attached to the firm. If Lukas decided to have a sit down with his friend well, that would be more appropriate.

“Hey Lukas, is this a good time to talk?” He’s sitting in his car driving home, and hoping that Lukas is either sitting in the quiet of his office or also on the way home.

“It sounds like something is wrong?” Lukas answers with concern. “I’m still at the office but I can talk.” There’s an edge of uncertainty or questioning in the voice. Matthew can’t blame Lukas, he didn’t expect himself to be calling so soon either, but some things were bigger than you.

Matthew hears a door closing. “Have you seen Arthur since he’s been back?” He asks.

There’s a pause. “No. Either he’s too busy or I’m not free. Haven’t tried my best to be honest. A lot’s been going on.”

Yeah no kidding. Matthew takes a deep breath and explains what he just learned about Arthur, at least what he thinks. “So...what do you think? Am I overthinking this? Is there actually a problem with...alcoholism here? Is this something that’s happened before? You know him better than I do, to me he was mostly a mentor and mentors usually try to be the best versions of themselves to the kiddies.” He tries to joke to lighten things.

Lukas doesn’t immediately answer. “...can you pick me up at the office?”

That didn’t sound good. “Uh yeah, I’ll just turn around.”

Later, when Lukas climbs into the passenger seat, he’s all business. “Hi.” He greets.

“Hi.”

“We’re going to speak to Daan.”

“WHAT?” Maybe Lukas feels free and easy to just drop in on the man, but Matthew has only been his friend for a week. Granted he didn’t answer any of Daan’s messages today because he’s been thinking and worried and kind of angry as well if he’s honest. Sure, Arthur’s state isn’t Daan’s fault but anger doesn’t know logic and Matthew gets that. He also knows he’s merciless when he is angry so wanted some time to sort out his feelings before snapping unnecessarily.

“Arthur drank a lot during the Masters.” Lukas starts to explain. “It was still university days, a lot of us did that, who doesn’t? But there were points that got embarrassing. He stopped after the first year, and changed his image from the punk kid I first met - that’s just appearances though. So yes, it could be a problem, Arthur’s always had the potential. Daan should know if this is actually a problem, and if there needs to be an intervention, the three of us together can come up with a better plan.”

“I’m not sure how...I mean, his boss? His friend and his former junior staff member? I’m concerned but I also don’t know how much of a right I have to be here I mean-”

“You cared enough to call me. Who cares about rights?” Lukas cut in. “People are...people. When it comes to things like these, people care about you or they don’t. Which isn’t to say that the people around Arthur don’t care about him, I’m sure they do, but they probably feel restricted by certain boundaries, like you just mentioned - boss and employee, acquaintance, mentor and student. But if you’re concerned, you’re just concerned. If Arthur responds angrily to that and let’s face it, he might, it wouldn’t be forever. He’ll come to his senses eventually.”

Matthew grips the steering wheel and just nods. “Should we tell them that we’re heading over?”

Lukas shrugs. “Fine.” He pulls out his phone and Matthew sets the address into the GPS.

#fic: Mr 7th floor #nedcan #hetaliararepaircentral

12 notes · View notes

nedcanquen · 7 years

Text

Chapter 6: Mr 7th Floor

Pairings: NedCan (endgame), NorCan, implied NedDen, DenNor (I can’t believe I missed this in the last update), implied Spamano, France/Jeanne d’Arc, GerIta

Photo from Pexels / Pixabay

Matthew doesn't know why he’s once again, riding the elevator to his desk. It’s an odd kind of detachment, he’s controlling his body but he isn’t. It’s on autopilot, but mostly because he doesn't know what else to do when he wakes up that morning. Well, he doesn't really wake up, because he hardly slept in the first place, so he went for a run. After the run failed to do whatever it was he wanted it to (he had no idea), Matthew showered and got changed for work. The best explanation he can give himself is that it’s routine, and routine is comforting right now because he doesn’t have to risk thinking - down that path led to ugly doors and ugly thoughts. Still, Matthew’s brain isn’t the type to just fully shut off, it needs something to be distracted. Right now, between Francis’ command that he take a step back from work, the reality of fighting his personal demons over his lost promotion and lost potential relationship, or being a workaholic, the latter was sadly, the much preferred option. He knew how to work, he could do it on autopilot, but perhaps his mistake hasn’t so much been being a workaholic, but that he’s been focusing on the wrong thing.

“Patrice, Sylvie, sorry for the short notice, but how about we change our setting and have a brainstorming session?”

His team has been walking on eggshells around him all week and it’s not healthy. It’s one thing for his unprofessionalism to affect himself, but it crosses a line when it affects everyone else. It’s time to fix that. He’s lucky that the team is pretty self-sufficient but still. Patrice smiles and nods while Sylvie looks relieved. That’s a good sign at least. To continue the positive mood, Matthew decides to completely change their scenery. They pack up their computers and walk to the building across the street to set up in the firm’s bar.

The PK&DE bar is actually located on the opposite building of the one where he usually works - an odd halfway measure to compromise PK&DE’s rapid growth - they had to rent floors across the street to seat everyone comfortably. On normal days the extra walk can be frustrating, but today it turns out to be a good thing because the distance liberates him in a way and he can be the mentor that he needs to be. He still takes pride in being a professional and the work that he does, the lack of a promotion wouldn’t hurt otherwise, but he hasn’t been doing a good job of being that professional in the past two days.

Their productivity is off the charts that morning, so this is definitely a good call. Sequestered away in their own corner, Matthew walks Patrice and Sylvie through the process of actually resolving the issues they raise in their audit reports based on what they’ve learned from sitting with the client for months. Well, Patrice should be promoted to Manager soon so he’s been through this before, but for Sylvie it’s still a process of being given knowledge. She needs more experience before she’ll be able to connect the dots. Without exposure to sessions like these though, there are no dots to connect. It’s not good enough to write a long audit report and flag problems. PK&DE charges a premium because they’re supposed to be able to deliver more. Clients were not receptive to inane textbook issues and answers after putting up with you sitting in their office for months, digging through all the paperwork of the past year and knowing that audit findings could cost them their jobs. If they raised an audit point, it had to actually be something worth raising, and something worth raising, needed a worthwhile solution.

They’ve drawn mind maps with a spider’s web of linkages and scribbles on several pieces of A3 recycled paper that’s been taped together and covers two tables. They could do it on a computer, but there’s some kind of connection that the brain makes when you physically draw something out, especially drawn out this big when you’re discussing it at the same time. It helps to make sure that Sylvie is adding her own notes to the mind map as well so she feels invested and can therefore contribute more to the process - she’s the one literally sitting at the client’s and reading through every single document they have, so she is the one with the most knowledge here.

Having the issue illustrated in front of them also makes the knots somewhat easier to unravel. Matthew is already drawing links to where the problems are and potential solutions lie and he can coach Patrice and Sylvie towards them as much as he can without giving the game away. For Patrice he’s mostly teaching management skills by this point, so really it’s Patrice doing most the leading with Matthew jumping in occasionally and filling in whatever gaps are missing.

Matthew feels better already, and it’s good to be reminded of these rare moments of accomplishment, hidden behind the many more moments of frustration behind office politics or administrative paperwork that otherwise takes up his time. Matthew does care about his team, and it’s likely a more healthy driver, to be driven by working with good people, rather than believing that your life is worthless if you aren’t the best at everything. It’s easier said than done though. It also doesn’t take away the reality that Matthew is an introvert by nature and part of the reason why today is working out so well is because he’s only sharing space with two people, rather than everyone in the department, as much as he likes them. It’s also a lesson in trust, he knows that sometimes he takes on too much of the work because he doesn’t want to overwhelm the younger staff. He does less of that now, but he needs to figure out better ways to do that more often and let them have the hands-on experience for themselves without him abandoning them. Some things you have to let people experience and fight through for themselves after all.

“You could have booked a meeting room - those have whiteboards for you to play with.”

They turn and greet Ha, who’s walking to them. Matthew is grateful that she hasn’t sat him down and demanded that he leaves Francis, or asked him what he feels or needs to do. Matthew supposes that she just knows he needs some time to calm down. After all, he knows her well enough to know what she would do in this situation - fight tooth and nail then leave (she is terrifying if you get on her bad side), but he’s not Ha, or Michelle, or Arthur for that matter. Matthew wishes more than occasionally, that he could be more like Arthur, or Daan, or even Alfred when it comes to work, if he’s being honest. It would certainly make things much easier, but he’s not. He’s just Matthew, and it’s exhausting to try to be someone else.

But ‘exhausting’ is oftentimes still easier though, because now he has to re-figure out who ‘Matthew’ is. Today seems to be a good start on that.

“Meeting rooms are all booked, I already tried.” Matthew responds. “HR is on a hiring push. I don’t want to interrupt the hopefuls. What’s up?”

“Lunch?”

Matthew looks at his watch - it’s 11.55 already, where has the time gone? Ha is looking over at their mind map and Matthew has to shake his head. “You guys go ahead. Thanks for coming all the way to get me but,” He wants to avoid potential uncomfortable questions over how he feels, which may come up at a lunch setting but not an office setting. “But I think I want to keep working on this. I can grab something here anyway.”

But Ha just smirks and winks, she’s looking at his computer screen now. “No need to lie Matt, I can keep a secret you know.” She whispers, giving a sly grin to both Patrice and Sylvie, who look confused but dangerously intrigued.

“What?” Matthew asks with some worry.

“Oh so he didn’t tell you two?” Ha asks Patrice and Sylvie.

“Secrets Matthew? I’m hurt.” Patrice jokes and Sylvie just smiles, waiting for the punchline. Yeah, Matthew wants to know it too.

“It’s exciting but don’t you think it’s a little too soon?” Ha is leaving the question open ended. Too soon after what?

Matthew still has no idea what she’s talking about. Something nags at the back of his mind though. Ha’s expression slowly changes as she realizes he isn’t lying.

“Your calendar Matt, it’s showing a lunch appointment with Daan deBoer at noon.” She waves her hand at his screen.

“OH SHIT!!!”

“OH WOW!”

“WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!”

Somehow all of this was exclaimed at the exact same time. Matthew forgot. How had he forgotten lunch with Daan?! Fuck fuck fuck, it’s 11.56 now, and it’s lunch hour he’s going to be late because the elevators are slow as molasses uphill during lunch and of course this is the day he decides he has to work in the OPPOSITE building! It’s too late to send a message now and all he can do is run. “My computer! The mind map!” It’s confidential, all of it, and yes these are technically the firm’s grounds but Matthew hasn’t locked his laptop to the table as IT policy insists he does and they follow a strict clean desk policy.

“We’ll take care of it Matthew! We’ll bring everything to your desk, just GO!” Ha yells.

Matthew is a good head taller than her but he’s not going to argue with that tone or expression so he sprints out of the bar and desperately presses the elevator button several times. He had barely looked at his laptop all morning, since he was so focused on Patrice, Sylvie and the mind map, and with how much he had shut down parts of his mind, fighting between indulging in the voice that emphatically berated him for being forgettable and not good enough and stamping it out with everything else, he had plain forgotten. It was embarrassing to the extreme. The elevator doors finally open, filled with disgruntled and hungry workers but Matthew pushes himself in anyway.

He’s not a small man. Usually it’s not a problem, but now he gets some stares, no doubt annoyed at him for insisting on entering a full elevator, but Matthew spares them that as soon as the doors open by sprinting out the doors. The building doors slide open fast enough and he can see Daan standing across, as he promised, in the lobby of the opposite building and looking at his watch. Matthew knows he’s late, Matthew knows that Daan has a reputation for hating tardiness when he’s in Canada, Matthew sprints across the street and hopes that he can be forgiven for a few minutes since this is the first time they’re having an appointment.

Matthew doesn’t see the car. He sees Daan look up with a frown on his face that quickly turns into alarm. Then he hears the horn, the screech and burnt scent of stressed brakes and a car taps him just enough to make him fall off balance onto the road, more from shock than any actual impact. He lands on his shoulder. If the car doesn’t stop, there’s nothing to save him, but thankfully it doesn’t move. Matthew lets out a breath and realizes that he doesn’t feel hurt, it’s just the smell of engine and rubber that’s assaulting his nose and eyes. He looks up at the nose of a silver Porsche and hears someone wailing from inside the car. Matthew rises so fast he feels dizzy and has to lean on the car hood for a moment, but his main concern is making sure that whoever’s in the car is unhurt from such a sudden braking, especially in a car this powerful. A shocked blonde man with somewhat disheveled, but mostly slicked back hair is sitting on the driver’s side, holding a smaller crying man with auburn hair.

Footsteps run up beside him and Matthew feels himself manhandled off the road to the safety of the sidewalk. He looks up to ask the person to release him, he’s being held with a desperate grip on the forearm that he didn’t fall on and it’s not helping - oh. It’s Daan. Of course it’s Daan. And he looks absolutely livid.

“WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!”

Matthew opens his mouth but no words can come out because at this proximity, Daan’s angry voice sounds like it has an echo. Matthew also doesn’t appreciate being yelled at, but he has to admit that what he just did was pretty stupid and dangerous, and not just to himself. A car door slams and Matthew turns to see that the car has pulled over to the side and the blonde driver has stepped out of it. It wasn’t an echo, it was Daan and this man yelling at him at the same time. “I’m sorry.” He says to the other blonde man, who looks uncomfortably familiar.

“And you…” Daan glares at the approaching man. “Are you blind as well as fu-”

“Daan it hurts.” Matthew says calmly, tensing the arm where Daan is still gripping tight. It’s an exaggeration, Matthew can take pain, but he’s finally remembered who the two men in the car are and he doesn’t want Daan to say something absolutely career-killing over a dumb mistake that Matthew made.

Daan stops mid-rant and looks back at Matthew, bewildered, as he drops his hand. “I’m sorry. But damnit Matthew-”

“Luddy!” The formerly crying man has stuck his head out the window completely, and is calling out from across the road. It didn’t look like Daan was going to get to finish his sentences, for that, Matthew is grateful. “Everyone’s alright? I have tomatoes in the back, let’s feed everyone tomatoes! All will be well!”

What? That is the most random thing Matthew has heard today but he also hears some laughter from the crowd that has gathered at the lobby and on the side of the road. ‘Luddy’s’ face lights up with a slight smile, so it seemed to be the right words to break the tension. Until today, Matthew has only known of Feliciano Vargas by reputation. He’s a male socialite who is a social media celebrity and has a reputation for randomness with a strong streak of social genius. This is a man who can act stupid and do stupid things but make a lot of money off of it. He understands people in a way Matthew knows he never will.

“Oh...joy.” Daan seems to murmur to no one in particular and doesn’t look particularly joyful. Matthew looks back at Daan while Daan looks back at him with wide eyes. He tugs Matthew closer and says more calmly. “You’re lucky to be alive. If it were Feliciano behind that wheel, and not Ludwig, you wouldn’t be.”

“He is right about that.” Ludwig Beilschmidt, Managing Partner of Heta&Lia, approaches them. He had taken over as Antonio’s successor after a scandal. A man built from completely different cloth from Antonio, Ludwig was an Assurance man all the way, just like Matthew. He was likely selected to give his firm undoubted integrity after that mess, and his famous husband gave Ludwig some degree of likability, even to those who thought he was too stony. But the ‘stoneman’ only ever melted for his ridiculous husband. Seeing has how he had inadvertently made Feliciano cry, Matthew now knows that if he ever wants to change jobs, he may as well cross the entirely of Heta&Lia off his list. “Are you alright?” Ludwig asks.

Matthew blinks in surprise. “I was going to ask the same about you and your husband. I’m alright, you barely tapped me.”He holds his arms up, as if to prove it. Other than some minor scrapes and bruising that Matthew can feel, he is fine. The reality is exhilarating. Thanks for…” Not driving over him? “Stopping, that was entirely my fault, I’m so sorry.”

He could say a lot more, how his mind has been anywhere but present this whole week, but it sounds silly now. Matthew can barely contemplate how sad it truly would have been if he had died in some meaningless accident with his mind anywhere but here, sad and upset about his life. “I really haven’t been...I’m sorry. If there’s any damage to your car…” Matthew gulps, even a minor problem on a Porsche would probably be monumental.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Daan scoffs. “Ludwig, he’s one of mine. He was running to meet me. If there’s a problem, let me know.”

“No!” Matthew objects, but Ludwig simply nods.

“I checked just now. There is nothing. If my brakes were to break over such a thing, Porsche should not be selling cars. And Feliciano and I are alright. You really have no idea how Feli drives. I actually hope that this experience will instill some sense into him.”

Daan lets out a snort. “If you believe that, there’s a bridge I’d like to sell you Ludwig.”

“Hey!” It’s Feliciano again, who seems to have snuck up behind them, holding a small box of the tomatoes he promised. “I offer you tomatoes and that’s how you repay me? They’re free tomatoes Daan! Don’t you like anything that’s free?”

Amazingly, Daan rolls his eyes and cracks half of a sarcastic smile. “Yes, yes, and you only care about food and fashion, Ludwig is stupid and has no sense of humor, Matthew here is niceness incarnate and oh what else have I forgotten? I received coupons for all my birthdays and went Dutch on every date.”

“I do have high food standards! Don’t pretend you don’t agree!” Feli teases, dropping the box into Daan’s arms. “And don’t you dare go Dutch on this date, this guy almost got run over just to see you!”

The words fall on Matthew like a ton of bricks.

“Fe-Li…” Ludwig grumbles.

“What?! Oh give me a break! The whole industry’s been repressed since Antonio! It’s ridiculous!”

Ludwig sighed but his lips are still upturned, fond. “It is not ridiculous Feli, and not everyone who eats lunch together is on a date. I’ve also explained why, multiple times, that what they did was-”

Feli waves his hand with an impatient flourish. “It’s a job Luddy! A job! You can always find a new job but your soulmate? That’s for life!”

They’re all silent for a few beats then, and Matthew can’t quite believe how unbelievable this week has become but here it is. It has cumulated into his narrow avoidance of being manslaughtered by the man in charge of a rival firm, who’s being told off by his husband for thinking that Partners should not tie up people to their desks to publicly have sex with them. Okay, fine, Matthew is being uselessly pedantic, that’s because he knows Feliciano’s words are going to echo uncomfortably with him for a long time. There really isn’t any argument one can put up against what he was saying, which is why they’re all standing there uncomfortably and Ludwig finally takes his husband in his arms and starts murmuring something that Matthew assumes is Italian but with an odd accent. Meanwhile, Daan simply rolls his eyes and begins studiously gazing at the label on the box of tomatoes in his arms - a funny distraction, but at least he has one. Matthew is quite jealous of him in this moment.

“Right, well…” Matthew decides to say because he needs to get out of this awkward situation right now! “Thanks for the tomatoes, I think I’ll get going.”

“Wait!”

“What?”

Ludwig and Daan both yell at him the same time. Ludwig wants him to wait it seems, while Daan looks equal parts worried and offended.

“I mean…” Matthew desperately waves at Daan. “You’re hungry aren’t you?”

Daan just gives him an exasperated look while Ludwig sighs loudly. “At least let us take you to a clinic to get checked out! You cannot simply go walking on back to work!”

Oh right. He looks at the husbands and for some reason feels even more exhausted at the idea of dealing with them for any longer. On any other day he could do it, well no, any other week. But not this week. Feliciano is...a little too much honestly and Matthew feels exhausted at the thought of having to deal with him for more than five minutes. Ludwig is...well the sad part is, he’s kind of the role-model of any auditor and Matthew isn’t so sure he likes the image of Ludwig as his future self. Also, the codependency they exhibit - he’s not sure if it makes him jealous or makes him cringe. “Thank you but I’m really really..ready to move on from this. I’ll take myself to the clinic, I promise I’m absolutely fine.”

Ludwig looks like he’s about to object so Matthew squares his shoulders and puts more authority in his voice. “If I have any other questions or feel odd for any reason, I will get a hold of you. I really appreciate everything, truly but you’ve done everything you can - most importantly, you didn’t kill me. No one is harmed.”

Ludwig at least gives him a sympathetic look. Matthew feels that the man can understand him at that moment. “Right. Well, enjoy the tomatoes.” Ludwig says. “Matthew, if you feel odd for any reason, definitely give me a call and I will organize a visit to a specialist for you.” He hands Matthew his card, even though Matthew can likely find him through an online search. Then again, he sees the handwritten mobile number written on it and takes the card. It does help, having the direct line rather than having to jump through unnecessary hoops.

“And Daan.” Ludwig turns to Daan. “If it makes you feel any better, they are good tomatoes. You know how picky -”

“Yes, yes.” Daan cuts in tersely. “Even psychopathic nutjobs can have hobbies and be good at them.” He waves farewell immediately after, and Matthew does the same, pondering those words.

After some polite farewells, Ludwig and Feliciano turn to leave, then Daan calls out, “Wait, Feliciano, how is your brother doing?”

Feliciano turns with a warm smile. “He’s happy Daan. Happiest I’ve ever seen him.”

Daan just nods. They leave and Matthew wonders what that was all about. Daan hands him the box before he can ponder too deeply. There’s a giant label on the side that boldly displays the brand ‘LOVE’S TOMATOES’ that temporarily confuses him.

“Wha?”

“You’ve kind of earned them, I mean, you did survive getting hit by a car and Feliciano isn’t lying when he says he’s picky about his food. I saw the trunk when he opened it to get these, the whole damn thing is full, no wonder he’s trying to give some away...” He rambles. Daan rambling, this week has gotten odder. “Honestly though, are you alright? I’m sorry for grabbing you earlier.”

Matthew can only nod. “It’s okay, I mean, I feel alright, but after lunch I’m going to a clinic just to get checked out, and then I’m definitely going home. I’ve learned my lesson. This is the type of week where I should just stay in bed.”

Daan laughs and nods. It occurs to Matthew that Daan is uniquely positioned to know about all of the blows Matthew has suffered this week, and maybe that’s why he wanted to speak to him.

“Well that’s good at least.” Daan says. “But why don’t you go now? I’ll come with you. At the very least, you need someone to help you carry a box of tomatoes.”

Matthew shakes his head and also finds laughter bubbling out from himself. “This is the most random thing, ever, I mean…”

Daan shrugs. “That’s Feliciano and Ludwig for you. The most unlikely, sickeningly sweet couple you’ll ever meet. You’d expect that level of mutual codependency to explode but it seems to work on them. You know they’re actually childhood sweethearts? Poster childs for choosing to stay together and accept change...a lot of it.”

Matthew has to smile at that, he doesn’t believe in two people staying together no matter what if it causes more pain than good, but Ludwig and Feliciano seem especially happy together, despite their differences.

“Which is also why Feliciano never had to grow up, well, they’re both kind of unevenly matured, to be honest. Ludwig is emotionally constipated because Feliciano can project enough emotion for three people and Ludwig handles all the responsible things, like drive in the city, so that Feli doesn’t accidentally kill anyone. But they’re happy.”

Matthew smiles and shrugs. “Well, to each their own. Anyway, I can put the box in my car, I’m not parked too far.”

Daan nods and they set off. “You know,” He starts, not too long into their walk. “If you need to be late, that’s...fine, I know it happens. Just let me know ahead of time.”

Matthew doesn’t want to admit that he forgot their lunch appointment, so he just nods and smiles out of habit, before he realizes that he’s too tired to continue swallowing things down all the time. Besides, as significant as Daan is to the periphery of his life, if Matthew is going to offend the man, he may as well do it now with some honesty rather than later when it would actually hurt.

“Uh yeah about that...I’m sorry, I was having a brainstorming session with my team and we got carried away. I completely forgot and didn’t look at my phone or computer or anything...”

He tries to bury his face in the tomatoes but that’s not a good solution. From this close he can see how good they are though.

“Alright then,” Daan shrugs. “That happens too, but when it does, I’d like to imagine that whatever I’d lay on you is better than this. If it’s not, well, just say so.”

And that was that. Simple, except there are weeks where Matthew is willing to put up a fight and weeks where he’d rather avoid one. Still Matthew is relieved, yet he wants to kick himself for his habit of making mountains out of molehills. It’s a little funny that Daan thinks it’s so easy for anyone to just tell him anything, but maybe it is for his actual team members.

It’s strangely comfortable and companionable after that, having Daan as a walking partner on these familiar streets. As nervous as he is, Matthew doesn’t really want their conversation to stop, though right now it’s inane and work-related. Daan is kindly not bringing up Mathias and Lukas, or the fact that he hasn’t been promoted, maybe because he’s also recovering from the fact that he almost saw someone get run over. He seems a little...overly engaged, like he’s trying too hard.

When they reach the car, Matthew’s much more humble twelve-year-old Ford pickup, at least in comparison to a Porsche, Daan takes the tomatoes so Matthew can get his keys to open the car.

“Do you need me to drive?” Daan hesitantly offers. “In case you’re still shaken up?”

Matthew let’s out a chuckle. “Thanks but, no offense, you seem more shaken up than I am. Box can go in the back seat, thanks.”

“Hey!” Daan objects. “You’re fine now, wait till the adrenaline disappears! You’ll be exhausted in seconds. Also...I don’t really like driving, that’s where more of the nerves come from.”

What? “Really?!”

Daan shrugs. “I can drive, sure, but I feel better when I’m cycling. Driving a car feels too, hmm, stressful. You’re always surrounded by idiots.”

“I don’t see how cycling on the same road as those idiots with no protective casing or air bags makes that better.” Matthew retorts honestly, now a little worried. He knew that Daan liked to cycle but not this much.

Daan smiles and climbs into the passenger seat next to Matthew. “I’ve been cycling for as long as I can remember, it’s like walking or talking for me, I’ve been driving for far less years. My reflexes are better on a bike.”

“What about winter?”

The man shrugs as Matthew climbs into his own seat. “It’s the same as winter driving - you change your mindset, make sure you have the right equipment…” He shrugs. “And if it’s really bad out then yeah fine, you can’t cycle, but you can’t really drive either. It’s not that big a difference.”

There kind of is. “Buying groceries?”

Daan gives him an incredulous look. “I’m just one guy, I don’t need a car to hold them all, and my housemate,” It’s the first mention of Mathias all day and Matthew imagines that Daan says the word rather pointedly. “Buys his own stuff. If we’re really desperate we get a supermarket to deliver. How much do you eat at home?” He teases.

Matthew can’t really imagine life without a car at all, so finally he settles on, “If the heating in your building goes out in winter, where do you run to so you don’t freeze to death?”

Daan laughs. “That has never happened, but I guess if it really came down to it, the cafe isn’t too far from where we live and it’s a different building.”

Matthew gives up, if Daan can’t see the correlation between Matthew’s recent near accident and literally cycling everywhere... “Right, well, we’re going to the clinic. If you get hungry, holler and we’ll stop there first instead?” Besides, if Daan avoids driving to that extent, he’s not trusting the man with his car.

“Nah, clinic first.” Daan answers the unspoken question as he buckles his seatbelt. It’s all so casual, as if they’ve been friends for a long time.

Matthew nods, figuring that both of them wouldn’t really have an appetite right now. “Then take out and we can eat at my place, and then I’m serious! I’m asking the doc for the rest of the week off and I’m not leaving my bed!”

It’s only after he says it that Matthew realizes what he’s just done, but he can’t hit himself in front of Daan, so he starts up his car instead.

The doctor gives Matthew the rest of the week off, a clean bill of health save for some scrapes and bruises (as expected), sleep aids and at Matthew’s final hesitant request and brief discussion, a referral to a therapist. Matthew has no idea if it’ll actually be effective, and his promise to Lukas is probably not binding anymore, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t a good idea. Maybe it was almost getting run over earlier in the day, but Matthew is willing to think a little differently, even if he’s still hesitant to make life-changing decisions in the heat of the moment. He’s not actually going to get the rest of the week off, there’s too little notice, but Francis said that Matthew can claim the lost time back. Matthew is grateful but he wonders if time will allow him to actually do that. Or if he wants to. He still doesn’t know what to do with free time or with himself. There are meetings he has to ‘attend’, which he will do by calling in or video conferencing, and he’ll work on urgent deliverables in the quiet of his home. Backup plans were made, emergency texts were answered as much as possible. Now all Matthew has to try to do is relax a bit.

Lunch is terribly indulgent, but hey, if you can’t indulge after surviving a near-death experience, why live? They pack two giant burgers from Harveys and head over to Matthew’s flat (Daan actually insists on paying for the burgers - survival comfort food, as he calls it). It occurs to him that since this crazy week started, he’s had guests over for three days in a row. His dining table is being used more than it has in years. With the exception of the previous night’s unpleasant ending, he was always happy to welcome these friends into his home. He also knows that at some point he will be ready to welcome Lukas into his life and home again, it’s not like he wouldn’t open the door if Lukas knocked on it tonight after all. But Matthew had never been nervous with these other guests. That is not the case with Daan behind him as he opens his door. Daan is probably the last person he ever expected to end up in his home.

“Right well, it’s humble, but it’s home.” Matthew hangs his keys on the hook next to the door and feels at a loss for a moment, not having a heavy bag to set down either. He had texted Ha earlier as well to help him bring his stuff over afterwards.

For now though, it is nice to come home without the added weight of his laptop hanging on his shoulders.

“Thanks for having me,” Daan says, somewhat formally after walking in. “Uh do we need plates?”

Matthew laughs nervously. “We’re going to rough it, straight from the wrap, if you don’t mind.” He really didn’t feel like doing the dishes afterwards. He also really didn’t know why he invited Daan over without thinking about it, at that moment he had just desperately wanted to retreat home. “But if you want plates, they’re in that cupboard over there.” He points it out.

Daan shrugs with an amiable, “Wraps it is.” And places the box of ‘Love’s’ tomatoes on the kitchen counter. As Matthew walks over to his table with the takeout, Daan calls out. “Want some fresh tomatoes with that? They’re pretty good just sliced up with olive oil, salt and pepper.”

There are already tomatoes in the burgers but okay, he may as well experience how good these tomatoes are, presumably grown by Antonio Fernandez-Carriedo. It had been years since he had thought of the man, but he supposed Feliciano did have a point. Ever since the scandal, inter-firm relationships between management and any kind of junior staff seemed to have shuttered to a halt, at least publicly. If Matthew were younger and had first had his crush on Daan after the scandal, he probably would have been allowed to forget it. Heck, he wouldn’t have admitted to it in the first place, 3am or no.

“Sure. Salt and pepper’s on the table, olive oil in the cupboard above the stove on the right, knife’s in the drawer next to the sink, uh, second drawer down.”

It was a miracle he had maintained some semblance of adult life in the past year, but he’s grateful for it now. He doesn’t know if he’d be able to live it down if he had invited Daan back to a cluttered flat with piles of things carelessly tossed everywhere, which was the state that he lived in before he had an honest conversation himself one day about how he wanted to live. It also helped that he had been having guests recently; he had just cleaned up yesterday for Lukas. Still, none of these musings prepared Matthew for the sight of Daan doing extremely domestic kitchen things in his home.

It’s odd, and Matthew tries to ignore the confused beating of his heart in his throat because he’s simply too...fascinated at the sight of Daan with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and cutting tomatoes. His Partner persona is not really present. It hasn’t been since the near-accident, actually, now that Matthew thinks about it. He just can’t stop observing. At this moment, Daan is clearly annoyed at how blunt the knife is and is digging for the knife sharpener. Who would have thought that after having uncomfortably faced the front of a car just inches from his face a few hours ago, that the sight that would finally make his brain fry up and stop working this week is simply Daan in his kitchen?

He’s so fucked. A million and one thoughts fly through his mind in an instant and it’s amazing he still manages to stand - ‘Of course you’re losing your mind over this guy in your fucking kitchen,’ he thinks ‘You’ve never been allowed to forget about him for years, but don’t get carried away Matthew, he’s just, well, who the hell knows why he’s here? You’re going to ask him though! Hey why are you so fixated now? Are you rebounding? Damnit Matthew, it’s barely been a day! But Feliciano said - who cares what he said! This is the unattainable guy you crushed on because you saw him in an elevator! Not your soulmate! Get a grip!’

“Are you judging me?” Daan’s question cuts through Matthew’s panicked thoughts and he can only stare dumbly.

“Huh?”

“You’ve been giving me this kind of scary look for the past minute or so. I swear Matthew, and you have to trust me on this, but a sharp knife is just one of those small things that makes a huge difference towards a more satisfied life. Now, is this cheapo Ikea sharpener the only one you have?” Daan’s tone may be teasing, but it is still laden with judgment.

“Yes, it is. There ought to be another knife that’s sharp, I think Ha sharpened it on Monday when she made dinner.” There are only two knives after all.

“Well how about I sharpen this one as well and then you can have TWO sharp knives.” Has his tone changed? Yes, what did it mean? Why did it change? “How about that? You’ll owe me one forever.”

Matthew’s mind can puzzle over the mystery of Daan deBoer all day, but it can’t, nope! It’s been a stressful day but Matthew knows he has to get a grip on himself, so he simply starts taking out the food and drinks and placing them on the table.

Still, Matthew has to laugh as the sound of a blade being pressed against stone echoes off the walls. “Are you always this silly when you’re not at work?” He has to ask.

Daan turns, temporarily stopping his work. “You think I’m silly? Sharp knives are serious business Matthew.” He runs the blade across a few more times. “Sharp knives lead to good food, good food gets you a market and connections, and those...get you money.”

Matthew can’t figure out if he’s joking, so he gives up at this inane line of reasoning, and simply grins. “Fine, I’ll sharpen my knives.” He walks into his kitchen to hand Daan a plate for the soon-to-be cut tomatoes. He distantly wonders if this was what Daan’s younger siblings had to endure - strange anecdotes about life and money. Daan’s a bit odd sure, but who isn’t? It’s strangely endearing.

Eventually they eat, and Matthew savors the juices and taste of familiar cooked meat on his tongue, allows the smell of his burger assault his nose and lets out a sound of appreciation. Survival comfort food indeed. Once they had finished their burgers (it didn’t take long, they must have both been starving), Matthew decides to cut to the chase. “So why did you want to have lunch with me so urgently this week? Was it because you knew I was going to start it with a demotion, followed by getting dumped?”

Daan freezes for a moment and there’s a second of uncomfortable silence before he regains his composure and chuckles. “That’s what I like about you Matthew, when it counts, you get straight to the point.”

Room full of Alfreds. Room full of Alfreds. Can’t show hesitance, you can handle this. “Well?”

Daan takes a breath. “I didn’t know that Francis was going to pull such a stupid stunt. I thought the Communications team made a silly mistake and left out your name until Arthur brought it up at the Partner meeting and Francis didn’t deny it. I originally wanted to see you to give you a heads up about Lukas and Mathias. I wasn’t there when they spoke at the cafe, but I sure as heck saw Mathias when he got home. I also had no idea if you’d even want to see me today, but when I didn’t get any message from you canceling our lunch plans…” He shrugged.

Matthew almost asked why he wouldn’t want to see Daan, before remembering that Daan was a reminder of his job and Lukas wrapped up in one. Except, Daan was kind of two guys - the guy he admired before he even met Lukas, when his job was still fun - gruelling, but fun - and he was also the actual guy who was sitting at his table that he’s only getting to know now. “Why give me a heads up?” He asks. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful but...I’m not actually one of your team members, we run into each other but we’re not exactly...close, we’ve worked together once.”

Daan nods and has that smirk again, Matthew is starting to wonder now if it’s not so much confidence, but a defensive quirk. “On the firm front, well, you reached out to Emil when you thought you could help him. I know we’re used to doing that for junior staff but it isn’t actually supposed to stop the moment you become a manager.” He leans back in his chair and looks at Matthew in that searching Partner way. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, sometimes it helps to talk it out with someone who’s not in your team. You can talk to me, if you want. If you’re not comfortable with me because I’m in the same firm or whatever, maybe you’d prefer to speak to Belle? She can keep a secret, isn’t part of the firm and has worked with both Francis and Arthur before…”

Wow that’s… “That’s really kind of you.” Matthew has no idea what he’s done to warrant this, but maybe Emil felt the same way when he was adopted by a manager he had avoided, impromptu, in a men’s bathroom.

“Secondly, unrelated to the job, back when I thought you and Lukas were going to be a fixture I figured I was going to see quite a bit of you, one way or the other. And…” He shrugs. “I didn’t mind that. You seem cool. I know it’s kind of awkward, given our professional relationship but, I was going to ask you to be my friend.” Daan laid that out in a matter-of-fact manner. “Hey, you know about my rabbits, and my travel schedule is finally going to fall back to a slightly more normal pace. I look forward to spending time actually living here and making friends again who aren’t my relatives, Mathias, or clients.” He laughs.

“Oh…” Matthew can’t help the smile breaking out on his face. “Really?”

Daan’s expression turns lightly calculating. “Why would I lie?”

Matthew is sure there could be plenty of reasons but he can’t think of them at the moment. He doesn’t know Daan well enough. Then again, what was it that Lukas had said? Daan was capable of deceit, but not so much outright lying. And there wasn’t much deceit involved in asking a no-name manager who couldn’t even get promoted to be his friend. This means that for some inexplicable reason, Daan really thinks he’s cool. Even if not, there’s no way Matthew will pass this up. Handsome or no, he’s wanted to get to know Daan for years, it would finally get rid of the awkward feeling he has, especially if Daan can reveal things that Matthew already knows about him, organically. Besides it’s just...well he doesn’t know why Daan thinks he’s cool, but there’s no doubt that Daan is, and intriguing, and just plain admirable.

Matthew is definitely going to wake up tomorrow morning and find out that he’s dreamed the whole thing. “I can’t think of a reason.” He answers, but he’s grinning from ear to ear, he just can’t help it. “I just didn’t see that coming. Can I be honest about my ulterior motive to being your friend though?”

Daan’s expression changes, somewhat wary, but intrigued. “Sure, since we’re being honest. What is it?”

“I really want to meet your bunnies.”

Matthew expects laughter and gets it but not quite like he expected. Not this beautiful, bowled over laughing, happy kind. He can’t help but join in, it’s too infectious to hear Daan laugh and to see the man smile. He has no idea what he’s doing but that’s the point of friendship isn’t it? You’re not supposed to calculate friendship. But Matthew also knows better. He’s been on the receiving end of this question before, in the States, from people who wanted to be his brother’s friend. He earns his money based on his ability to be likable by the most amount of people possible...but he can’t control other people’s motives. He can only be honest with himself about his own. He does want to be Daan’s friend.

But why him? Why Matthew? A guy who wears a mask all the time when Daan is so straightforward and has never needed to pretend to be likeable. Or…

Has he?

Matthew doesn’t know why it’s never hit him before. Time seems to slow down a little as he just looks at the silly guy in front of him, laughing. The silly guy who whined about being locked out of his apartment after a long journey home, the silly guy who lives with his childhood best friend so that friend wouldn’t get too lonely after the love of his life left him...and never asked him to leave. The silly guy who bought a third rabbit because he thought the first two were getting lonely. The silly guy who’s scared of driving cars! None of this matches the image of the Partner he’s heard about and worked with, the miser, the taskmaster, the robber, the prodigy. Maybe he’s all of these in one, or maybe some of these are a result of masks that he wore so that he could climb so high while so young, so that the rest would take him seriously.

Whatever it is, whoever Daan is, Matthew wants to know. He’s always wanted to know. Heck, if he actually gets hit by a car tomorrow, one of his last thoughts would probably be cursing himself for a coward if he couldn’t let himself believe Daan and try.

“Deal.” Daan grins. “You know, my sister always says that the only reason I have these rabbits is so I can have friends. Now I can tell her that she’s absolutely right. I am a genius. She should listen to her brother. Now come take a look, I took a really good pic yesterday!”

Matthew shoves the paper wraps aside like the messy slob he is so he can move closer to see (he’s a reformed messy slob, he’ll clean it up later, but for now, cute bunnies take priority).

“Okay, so introductions are in order. Maple is the baby of the lot, he’s the brown-colored one, Hitam, she’s the black one, she was a baby when I adopted her, together with Nijntje, who is the grand dame of them all. I got them when I first moved back to Canada, which was in…”

Maybe this isn’t going to be the worst week of his life after all.

#nedcan #hetaliararepaircentral #fic: mr 7th floor

9 notes · View notes