#or think you could change my mind. im willing to learn to Enjoy Things lmao

[donttellthemangosiwashere]

Tierlist made by @intrulogical

[boyswanna-be-her]

Lmao the walk was super fun but only two people showed up (my biggest fan, who was obvs gonna be there, and a new friend who we both met at the same time through volunteering which is cute and fun, he's a p good deal younger than us). Since it was just the 3 of us, we hiked the WHOLE trail system and had a blast. Got lunch afterwards. I invited them to come out to the beach with me, and my friend decided to follow me straight out and new boy went home first but then flaked and never ended up coming to the beach.

So the clown dance continued, we swam and sunned and laughed, came back to my apartment, eventually got hungry and went to dinner, our third meal together in a row today. At every point they were hesitant to leave and happy to be invited to do the next thing. The only reason why we're not together now is that we're supposed to lift tonight at their place with someone else joining, so they headed back to their own side of town while I went home to take a shower.

This is actually a great holding pattern as far as I'm concerned. We spend as much time and I'd be willing to spend with someone I was dating, and I enjoy spending time with them more than being alone (USUALLY more, sometimes they're in a mood and I'd rather split). It's been so long since I've ACTUALLY enjoyed someone's company more than my own that I wasn't sure that would ever even happen again for me. I'm happy with this. The chemistry is there but--and holy shit i can't believe im saying this--I don't actually want to risk our friend...ship? Lmao? Who am i?

I also made an offhand comment about planning something fun and they responded "I don't really drink so that can make it hard" and of course in light of recent life changes on my side I'm like 👀👀👀 that is the opposite of a problem! But it also makes me sad bc they have been drinking with me some on our off hours and it sounds like they were just trying to keep up with me/not murder the vibe and that was SO not necessary. It also makes some stuff track more in retrospect (like "oh what was up with them that night?" ends up being "they were sleepy bc they dont drink booze normally"). Anyway, since it came up organically I told them that I was actually working on my sobriety and that it was difficult with my parents as enablers/people who want a drinking buddy from their child--and wouldnt you fucking know, bc we have everything else in common, they also have the SAME dynamic w their parents. And they seemed happy that sobriety was something I was thinking about and valued, but possibly more relieved that I actually DO enjoy our time together when we're both sober and want to do more of that.

We're finally getting into some deeper shit and I'm learning about their history and what makes them tick. Like they speak their mind super freely, but they are SO private about their family and personal life to the point that it feels almost too intimate to learn some of this shit that people who have known them longer are oblivious about. On the other hand, I'm a open book about everything I've been through and my mental health but good fucking luck getting an earnest take out of me on anything unless i deeply trust you. It makes for a weird game of learning about each other. I thanked them today for being a friend who's down to clown with all of my stupid suggestions and admitted that I normally just do everything alone but it's more fun with them. They expressed it all back to me. Alone for a long time, fine with that, surprised to find me, thankful for that too. It's just like, hm. Very comfy. And I don't worry about being wanted or wearing out my welcome, and I don't get taken advantage of, and they stand up for me and do nice things for me, and feed me and worry about me. That's such a nice change for me from being either The Provider or a person who wants for nothing or no one. It's scary to want someone in my life, even in this capacity, but it's more rewarding than I thought it could be without, yknow, actively trying to date or hook up. I feel like the possibility of something more is stalking us from location to location like the monster in It Follows--sometimes our knees are nestled together while we talk and it's breathing down our necks and sometimes we're both distracted and moody and it's not something either is thinking too much about, but fuck if it isn't always there and a thing I think we will inevitably make a choice about in the future but.

[prose-for-hire]

My babysitter’s in love with a vampire

 Pairing: Spike x chubby!reader or Dracula x chubby!reader

Request: you are spending the night with dawn and then you see all the likes she has on her facebook pics and you get insecure about your weight and then spike swoops in and saves the day? something like that? or hell instead of spike make it Dracula. im feeling rebelious with my request lmao

Requested by: @lilacprincessofrecovery​ - sorry about the wait love 💜

Warning: Insecure reader. Weight mention. Low self confidence.

A/N: Right, so, I’ve been enjoying the interactive element I’ve been using (I hope you have too) and this one’s gonna be little different. You can choose Spike or Dracula (the one that appears in Buffy or one of your choosing if the characterisation fits). Kinda modern au I guess (smart phones/facebook/etc). Reader doesn’t get much love online, but there’s no hate more of an absence of like(s).

You were babysitting. Not to say that you and Dawn weren’t friends, she wasn’t even that much younger than you, it’s just her older sister was very protective. You had been in school with Buffy and you understood - It was just the two of them now, so you had offered good rates to Buffy so she could go out and do whatever it was she needed to do all night while you kept Dawn company. You didn’t judge and you didn’t feel the need to demand to know where she went all night – it wasn’t any of your business.

Now, you were aware of the supernatural element in your town. But you didn’t realise that Buffy and Dawn did too. You all skirted around the subject, trying to avoid mentioning it to each other as much as you could.

You had both been watching a movie when she had excused herself to the bathroom. But she had been a really long time so you went to check she wasn’t feeling sick or anything. When you got upstairs, you saw through the ajar door that Dawn was now in her room taking pictures of herself.

Dawn enjoyed taking selfies and posting them online and she sat on the edge of her bed as you walked in as she was constantly refreshing the page as the likes and comments rolled in. Her most recent picture having brought over 100 likes on her picture so far. This made her bounce around with glee, finally getting the attention she had been craving herself. Who knew all she had to do was take a mirror selfie?

She gushed about all of the praise she was getting and excitedly showed you, waiting for you to shower her with more compliments. But you had gone quiet, thinking of your own page. You barely posted and when you did, you would be lucky to get even a quarter of the likes Dawn would get. Dawn was blissfully unaware of your insecurity. She presumed you weren’t bothered about that kind of thing. She thought you were so cool, so hadn’t even considered that you wouldn’t have as many likes on the app or even mind about it.

She had noticed that you were quiet so she had tried to make you take a picture with her to post on your page. So that you could both show the world that you were spending another Saturday in watching the same option of movies. You let her take the pictures, you smiled and tried not to stare too long at your face beside Dawn’s on the pictures she saved and then sent to your phone. 

After you opened the message and looked at the pictures again, you knew you wouldn’t be posting them. Dawn was confused and a little hurt when you refused to post the pictures, embarrassed over the number of likes (or lack thereof) you knew you would get.

You went quiet as Dawn kept hounding you to post them, missing that you were growing more and more upset. She just kept pushing the matter, she had never been exactly tactful. But it started to really upset you, to even have to admit the growing insecurity that was under the surface, never quite properly hidden.

Dawn finally noticed that you were not in the same good mood you were in earlier. But it was too late, you had started to feel the prickle behind your eyes. The lump growing in your throat. You got up, rushing for the door as Dawn stood up and watched worriedly.

“I-I just need some air”

“You can’t go out- it’s dark-!” Dawn called, but you shook your head and she say the stake concealed in your pocket. Her eyes widened and she just nodded. You were too upset to acknowledge what had just happened. Instead, you just ran off, leaving the younger girl frowning after you before getting distracted by her phone buzzing rapidly with notifications after her recent post had been found by the masses.

You ran out of the front door, your eyes streaming with tears as you just need to get out of there. As if you could run away from the hopeless feeling of not being good enough.

Dracula:

He had been watching you for a while, he had been interested in you after a single glance several nights ago. He had kept a distance, watching and waiting. He could feel that you were going to be the one. The beauty that your face possessed had enchanted him in a way that he was only used to holding over others. Your frame was larger, but that merely meant that there was more of you for him to be enraptured by. More of you for him to worship should you accept his offer. And he had no doubt that you would accept his offer, his love was yours.

You ran past him, hiding under the large tree that loomed above the Summer’s residence. You sat, curling your plump frame up as small as possible as you wept. His eyes never left you as he glided towards you, as if walking on air. He moved his head, unsure as to who could affect you this much. He wanted to tear them to the ground, make them grovel at your feet.

“Your eyes… they cry with the tears of a thousand waterfalls and yet you do not see your power” He said, his voice strong and commanding of everything in the vicinity. He held his hand out and turned it upwards as if to offer you his hand. As he did, you find yourself rising to your feet, still sniffling slightly.

“Who-who are you?” you stutter. Why would this beautiful man give you the time of day (or, night as the case may be).

“Dracula” He stated with such confidence you would never question it. You were drawn to him instantly. But you had been rendered speechless in his presence, “What is the matter, my love?” The affectionate term, although you had never formally met, felt so right. So soothing and it made your tears slowly dry up and regulate your breathing. You reached for his hand that was still outstretched waiting for your touch. Demanding to feel the warmth of your hand in his. Your hand slipped into his so easily, as if they were made for each other. He leaned in, moving your hand towards his lips. You closed your eyes as his lips contacted your hand.

He straightened up slowly and asked you, without once opening his mouth, for you to explain. To reveal why you were so sad. He wanted to put it right any way that he could. He wanted to show you the vision he saw before him.

“I’m- nobody likes me- not the way they like, well, my friend” You admitted, knowing he wouldn’t know who Dawn was. His eyes bored into yours and you felt completely seen for what felt like the first time in your life. He frowned, not aware of such popularity contests that were now evidently so important to the modern world, “It’s all about how many likes you get. How popular you are… and I’m j-just fat”

He shook his head slightly at this, you were not ‘just’ anything to him. Your form rendered him full of awe. Your plus-sized figure the epitome of beauty to him. He had seen you outside after dark leaving a young gentleman who had not been kind to you after a date. Your features had been upturned and it had taken all of his strength not to turn into his other form and follow you home. Instead, he would take care of the man that had hurt you. 

“Your figure fills my vision with the light of the golden sun that I cannot cast my eyes upon… you are radiant beyond compare” He spoke, rather than dwelling on such an insignificant human. He willed you to feel it and you did.

“Look into my eyes and see as I do” He rested his hand against the side of your face, a feather-light touch. His thumb stroked softly along your cheek. His eyes scanning over your face, as if to learn every inch, every quirk of your expression. He wanted to know what every look meant. What every tear told him. You closed your eyes as you allowed yourself to accept his sentiment. Accept that he saw you in this way. There was something deep within that told you he meant every word so intimately.

“Your beauty is beyond this realm, my dear…” He continued, “Please. Join me”

“D-do you really mean it? About someone like me?” You whispered, having to confirm once more.

“Join me, an eternity awaits” He asked, an edge that almost sounded pleading. Although the change in tone would only ever be evident to you. You nodded as he took your hand. You walked away into the night together, knowing there was no thrall. You felt affection. Love.

You wished you could show him even a fraction of the affection and comfort he had laid upon you tonight. As you wished this, he felt it and he knew that time would show him of what he was already sure of. 

Spike:

He had been smoking a few streets away, stalking to get to that tree outside of the summer’s residence. He had adopted that place as his own, you were always spending time there and so he had taken to waiting for you – especially if you weren’t staying over than night. He always waited, watching from the shadows. He wanted to make sure that you were safe, that he could be convinced no harm would come to you. He had long since admitted his feelings for you to himself, he was just trying to formulate a way to tell you of this.

You ran past him, in floods of tears. He rounded back on himself, following you straight away flicking his cigarette into the night. His heart crumbling to see you upset in this way. He caught up with your shapely form, a gentle hand on your upper arm that you looked down at through blurry eyes. You turned, facing his caring eyes. this expression you had to tell yourself couldn’t possibly be the love you wished it was. His eyes boring into yours with so much concern it almost made you cry harder.

“S-Spike?” You frowned, unsure if you had just been imagining it. He had been exactly who you would imagine to be there for you and you were amazed to see him there when you turned. 

“Love, what is it…?” He asked, his voice almost cracking with emotion, “Is there anything I can do?” he wanted to hurt whoever had hurt you this way. Make them pay in all of the worst ways possible. To drink from their skull. He wanted to put it right any way that he could.

“I’m- nobody likes me- not the way they like Dawn” You sniffed, wiping your eyes again, “It’s all about how many likes you get. How popular you are… and I’m j-just fat” You sighed, gesturing to the app that was still open on your phone. His eyes widened in shock, his jaw tensing. He glared at the phone, mad at it for being the reason for your tears. 

How could you ever think that? How could you even talk of yourself that way?

“Don’t be bloody ridiculous!” His voice raising slightly, “You… you really think that makes any difference?” he cocked his head to the side, studying your expression closely. He started to reach his hand, wanting to touch your face, but he swiftly moved his hand and looked away as you looked back to him.

“What?”

“You’re bloody beautiful, y/n. Ever since I met you, I’ve wanted you. Been sodding obsessed with you…” he admitted, his words so honest you almost wept further. You just stared, not believing he could feel the same way you did for him. Your silence made him continue, “So what if you don’t get likes on that stupid bloody face-app-thing? All that counts is the people that matter… and, well, I hope I matter to you love. ‘Cause you really do to me” he insisted. His eyes pleading you to listen to his words. Every syllable the most honest he had been since he first met you. He had longed to say these words. Had long, lonely days or little sleep imagining you by his side. In his arms. 

 “But how could you... about someone like me?” You gestured at yourself and he shook his head with such vigour, as if he could shake these thoughts from your mind in the same way. He clasped his hands around your outstretched wrists. Stopping you from tearing down your beauty with your harsh words. He was shocked you would even question the way he saw you. To him, loving you was as easy as breathing. Hell, easier - he didn’t need to breathe after all.

“You’re the most captivatin’ person I’ve ever laid eyes on… and I’ve seen a lot in my time. Trust me, I love you. Your size. Everything. Just- please- let me show you how much?” Spike said those words as if they were the most important he would ever utter. You had never seen him plead like this before, although you had seen the way he looked at you sometimes. You had thought he was just being kind. But now you knew. 

With every soft brush against your skin, you knew. He held his hand out for you and you took it, the crying had subsided at his hand wrapped around yours comfortingly.

You just hoped you could show your love for him in such a meaningful way. you took his hand with such trust, he almost felt it pulsing through his veins as you clasped your hands with his. You walked away together, into the night. Both of you wishing for your moments together to never end.

[fangurk]

hiya I’d like to request a ship! if you don’t mind I’d like a romantic ship with either a wolf or a vampire and a platonic ship with a human, please. im omnisexual with a preference for women. I’m 17 and my pronouns are she/her. I have grey eyes and I’m fairly tall with brown shoulder length hair. Im also pretty strong, i like working out it’s calming for me. I’m a cancer, a hufflepuff, and an ENFP (so like- im baby).

I’m really interested in making music and I’m trying to learn piano but I’m not very good at the moment lmao. I’m kind of shy but when I open up I cannot stop talking, I’m sensitive and a bit of a pushover too sdhwkhdksjskajs. I was a gifted kid so like I give up easily (a reason why I’m not the best at piano) and I really struggle with trying to be good enough. And I’m such a hopeless romantic, I love writing about love and love songs and daydreaming.

thank you!!

hiya! i don’t mind at all anon! also, i’m really loving the hufflepuff rep in my inbox—

let me know how you feel and/or if you want me to change something!!

I Platonically Ship You With... Mike Newton!!

-> my guy works in his parents’ sports equipment store. he thinks you and your music are actually so awesome, even if you don’t think you’re good yet.

-> you give up easily? good luck doing that with mike around. we all know he’s stubborn as all hell, he’s not going to let you let yourself down.

-> sometimes he’ll work out with you, but i feel like he isn’t the best at it.

-> he probably dominated half of your conversations early on in the friendship, but now that you talk more, he’s really enjoying having actual banter with you. (that being said, he probably totally overreacted the first time you really responded to him.)

“ you do talk! ”

-> mike also struggles with his self worth a lot, which means you guys probably have days where you just sit around eating crap food and watching tv. he’s not really good at talking about his real feelings, but you might be able to get him to really open up a bit more.

-> cupid himself could hit this boy upside the head and he’d still be falling behind; he’s so dense. you are the only reason he has any sort of tact when it comes to relationships.

“ so what are you going to do? ”

“ ...call her when I get home. ”

I Romantically Ship You With... Alice Cullen!!

-> she’ll totally work out with you, going at your pace and making sure you hydrate.

-> alice fully supports your desire to become a musician, and she’ll teach you piano if you ask her.

“ no, my love, not this key, that key. ”

-> it’s okay that you’re kinda shy at first because she’s more than willing to carry conversation, and when you’ve finally opened up to her she’ll listen intently to whatever you say.

-> alice is also a doer and she will not let you just give up, not completely. she’s always urging you to do things you’ve abandoned in the past, but gently because she doesn’t want to upset you.

-> you’re a pushover? good luck to anyone who takes advantage of that with alice around. she might be tiny and soft spoken, but she will politely tear someone a new one for their disrespect.

“ I think it would suit you well to never even look at my girlfriend again. ”

-> she’s in love with love. y’all would have the most romantic dates ever (i’m talking dinners and nice lighting and flowers and picnics) and she’d love to hear all about your daydreams and learn about the things you’ve written.

[neo-nymph]

NCT NSFW A-Z: Taeyong

A/N: SOOOO many people were waiting for this lmao. Hope you guys enjoy im high-key worried this won’t satisfy ahahahahahah :]

Also while writing this I've rediscovered my love for Paramore. I forgot how much I love their shit it’s so good 10/10 would recommend.

A – Aftercare

S O F T I E. Acts like you’re the most valuable person in the world after. Touches his forehead to yours with his eyes closed basing in the afterglow, and opens them to gaze over you and immerse silently in his love for you. He touches you with gentle hands as if he were handling a piece of glass because he doesn’t want to irritate any part of your body that he already angered.

Keeps some bottles of water and some light snacks in the bedside table so he doesn’t have to leave you to get anything afterward. If you’re not too tired he’ll start a bath for the two of you; doesn’t give himself a second thought and spend 90% of the bath cleaning you up. Makes sure to moisturize your skin and dress you in some light clothes, probably one of his shirts and some soft panties.

B – Body part

Not so innocently obsessed with the feeling of your hands. He likes how soft and gentle they feel when you stroke the pads of your fingers along his skin or the tiny indents he can feel along his jaw when you grab his face during a kiss. Likes to hold at least one when you fuck, just to keep a little bit of the innocence and pure love he feels for you present no matter how dark or freaky things may get.

C – Cum

Doesn’t mess or play with it too much; a result of the clean freak within him. 9/10 he pushes himself as deep as he can within you when he cums because that’s where you feel the tightest and the warmest. Doesn’t care too much for cream pies or watching his cum fall out afterward, but does slightly enjoy the occasional dribble of his seed from the corner of your mouth when you suck him off.  

D – Dirty Secret

Gets off at the idea of watching you fuck one of the other members. Don’t ask me to explain why but the thought of seeing you get pounded speechless by Jaehyun or reduced to tears by Yuta’s tongue or giving Mark the suck of his life has had him palming off in the bathroom more than just a few times. Don’t be surprised when he asks if you’ve ever thought about a threesome.

E – Experience  

He’s been around. However, I don’t think his experience comes from being with a lot of partners, but more so being with one partner multiple times and perfecting the things which work best with those people. It’s given him room to improve multiple skills and learn new things/experiment and make his own tricks.

His confidence also helps as it makes all his actions, even the odd or accidental, seem like he’s done them on purpose and tricks his partner into thinking he knows more than they do. Overall, Tae knows wtf he doing and your gonna feel every bit of his knowledge round by round.  

F – Favorite Position

Missionary. You both get access to everything and it’s very kink friendly. There’s room and ease for teasing on the clit, sucking on nipples, scratching his back, wrapping his hand around your throat, and it gives room to make use of ropes and ties, vibrators, plugs, etc.

Honorable mentions is 69. He gets turned on when he’s eating you out, so having you down there to get him off while he enjoys his meal is like heaven. Bonus is being able to reach down for control and ease to fuck your throat.

G – Goofy

Very rarely. Maybe at the very beginning when things are still light and innocent, but as soon as things escalate to heated making out, all jokes and giggles are out the door. Taeyong tends to develop a very strong and intimidating persona when things get heated, so I wouldn’t expect anything less.

H – Hair

Doesn’t shave often but he will if you want him too. Doesn’t mind hair on you AT ALL. Finds it a bit sexy, whether it’s just a bit or it’s grown a while, he finds the natural aspect to be more tantalizing than one would expect.  

I – Intimacy

To me, Taeyong comes off as a VERY affectionate person. I don’t think he’d go overboard with PDA, preferring to save all his affections for his S/O for when the two of you are alone, but I also don’t believe he spares all of his affection and intimacy to be shown purely through sexual acts.

His intimacy is very soft. Gentle kisses on your temple when he wakes up in the morning, even if you’re still asleep. Tracing his fingers lightly across the expanse of whatever exposed skin of yours his fingers can reach. Lots of staring at you with soft, half-closed heart eyes when you’re sleeping or gazing off in the opposite direction, and tons of cuddle sessions with his head resting upon your chest or stomach while his hands are wrapped around your waist; he likes having you close and maintaining some sort of contact with you whenever he can.

J – Jack-Off

Not too often, mostly cause he has you and he’ll take whatever you’re willing to give him, but also because his drive isn’t super high that he felt the need to relieve his urges that often.

Most definitely has a folder filled to the brim of scandalous photos of you, whether you just looked especially good in an outfit, you’re teasing him in his clothing or some lingerie, or exposing yourself to him. Don’t think he doesn’t have videos of you fucking; there’s at least 10 and they’re all at LEAST one minute long. Probably found some way to save your voice memos in there too.

Freaky/nonconventional porn is his favorite. This can range from basic powerplay dynamics like daddy kink or petplay, to gangbangs, to heavy bdsm with tons of restraints and a crying sub with cum dripping off of their face. I’d mention some other things I can see him getting off to but I’ll abstain for the sake of some people’s sanity =].

K – Kink

Definitely power play. I know other people get caught in a debate about if Tae is a dom or sub but I don’t think he’s either or. I can honestly see him being just as turned on and getting off as the dominant OR submissive in a sexual situation. I see him as a full dom but not a full sub, as in he doesn’t follow your commands or cave into your words but rather enjoys being tortured by your actions and struggling against you. That also leads to my theory that he has a teasing kink.

Yes, he loves yanking you around by your hair when your hands are clasped together from use and the sight of looking down at your glossy eyes staring back at him as you struggle to breathe with his hand grasping your throat. But he also loves fighting against you when you bind his wrists to a chair and tease him to the point that he feels like he’s about to explode. The ghost of your lips over his skin, the tingle of the tips of your nails dragging over his chest just enough for him to feel, your slick heat gliding slow over the length of his cock drives his rage through the roof but he loves it none-the-less. You best believe you’re getting it afterwards tho, so don’t push your luck too far.

I can honestly see him being into a variety of things, like pet-play, voyeurism, pain(light), humiliation/degradation(light), breath play(light), etc.

L – Limits

Nothing with high risk or physical damage (like knife play or electricity); not one for pain other than your nails down his back or aching in his cock from edging, so you can rule out clamps from his ends. If you want something along those lines he’ll try, but I think he’d be too worried about the possibility of hurting you would turn into too much for him to handle.

M – Motivation (Turn-On)

This might seem obvious but hear me out. Skin exposure/public teasing; Say you’re sitting on the couch across the room from him in a large t-shirt going down to your knees. Some of the members are lounging around, watching t.v., talking, etc. He looks at you and watches as you slowly open your crossed legs to show him your uncovered and glistening pussy while you stare at him with an innocent gleam in your eye. Or maybe you’re walking around trying to find something one of the dreamies lost and your shirt accidentally lifts too high when you bend over to check beneath the couch. This type of stuff drives him crazy and kicks his self-control to the curb, so don’t be surprised when he comes behind you to grab a handful of your ass and question innocently if you wanted to search the bedroom with him.

Sometimes it requires no effort at all. You could be sitting silently by the window of the hotel you’re in for the night, in shorts and a satin tank top, and the glow from the sunset against the soft, exposed skin of your thighs is all it takes to wind him up.

I see this happening pretty often, and 7/10 it’s in this latter instance, coming from a romantic place. Just a little bit of some exposed skin is all it takes for him to get caught up in the memory of your soft touches and lingering kisses and how much love he has for you and BAM he’s ready for some romantic boning.

N – NO (Turn-Off)

I truly cannot think of that many super standout things. First (and I know how basic/kinda odd this is but) a mess. He can’t get it on with you in a messy place or with a messy person (hair is messy clothes are dirty that typa stuff).

Also the idea of hurting you. He can get down with some freaky stuff (cuffs, leashes, ties, whatever) but the idea of causing you some sort of ACTUAL PAIN would turn him off immediately.  

O – Oral

Giving: Taeyong loves eating pussy you can’t change my mind. Makes good use of his lips; i.e. a very generous of kissing and sucking, almost like he’s making out with you. It’s easy to tell considering how much he uses them when he talks and raps lol. Eating you out turns him on, especially when you pull really hard on his hair (que that slight pain kink). Plays with himself while he eats; if he’s lying on his stomach then he’ll grind himself against the bed. In any other position, like if you’re sitting on his face or he’s on his knees, he’ll jerk himself off with one hand and hold you in place with the other. Not much use of his fingers as this is usually a form of foreplay for him so he isn’t aiming for you to cum, just to warm you up.

Receiving: Quite vocal. “Ahh, yeah..” “Just like that baby” Sits back and watches you work with a nasty smirk. Likes the dragging feeling of the edges of your nails along his shaft and pinching subtly at his balls.  L O V E S eye contact (cause of the way your cheeks gets pink under his stare). Likes it most when he’s fucking your mouth or forcing his cock down your throat so he can see your eyes get watery and red.  

P – Place

V E R Y fond of shower sex; you’ve always looked so pretty with wet hair, but he likes the look of his fist tugging on the wet strands even better. He likes to watch the water droplets shake and fall off your ass when he’s fucking you, and how much louder the smacking of your skin is when it echoes against the closed-in vicinity.

The kitchen is fun as well. Doesn’t care if you want it from behind with one leg held up on the island, or if you want to sit on the countertop and make-out while he goes wild in your pussy. Sometimes he’ll randomly come up behind you while you’re doing dishes and yank your shorts & panties down and just raw dog you.

Q – Quickie

Like Jaehyun, they aren’t his favorite just because he likes to take his time, but if you’re bratty enough or he’s too riled up to think straight, he’ll make time and find a place for it to happen no matter where you are(office, restaurant, concert, movies). As a result, he’s focused on getting his fill and becomes quite messy and ignorant to the idea of being caught.  

R – Risk

He down for some risky business every now and then. Won’t let the risk escalate too high if he’s thinking with his head instead of his dick. As previously mentioned, if his horniness clouds his judgment he doesn’t care what the location is; he’ll take you in the seats at the back of a movie theater if he has too. If he’s thinking logically, however, his risk level is more controlled, like the restrooms at the office or a noisy and crowded restaurant where no one will notice you’re overlapping and extensive absence.  

S – Stamina

Knows how to pace himself; 3-4 rounds max.

T – Toys  

Has a collection; enough to fill two or three average sized shoe boxes under the bed. Common things like a few different colored ropes, a couple handcuffs, some vibrators (Hitachi's and pills [google it]), dildos, hand full of butt plugs. Every now and then he might buy something a little more extra (like a spreader bar or restraint set) but they end up being rarely used or set off for special occasions.

U – Unfair [Teasing/Being teased]

I explained the bulk of this in the risk section, so I’ll just re-state the obvious that since he loves to be teased, he’s gonna tease the hell out of you as revenge. Teasing from his end is dominantly pushing you closer to the edge of bliss inches at a time with movements just quick enough to provide some sort of gratification, either with his fingers on your clit of his cock moving against that spot inside you, but halting his movements moments before you explode. I don’t see him teasing very often, however. He saves it for slow times when neither of you is in a rush to get off, or when you’re being a brat.

V – Volume

Members are gonna hear him through the walls but you don’t have to worry about any complaint or concern calls from the neighbors.

What comes out of his mouth is A LOT of moaning. They’re long and drawn out from the base of his throat, making up 70% of the noise filling the room (He doesn’t even attempt to keep at a controlled volume). The other 30% is dirty talk but he keeps that nice and low, gently throwing the words past his lips and right into your ear just for you to hear them.

W – Wild Card [Author’s Choice]

Low-key has a thing for people watching. He often records your escapades (always the risky ones) for future lonely nights and has become very prideful in bragging and showing the videos to the other members. Somewhat ties into/slightly satisfies his fantasies of you getting on with another member. One night or another he might accidentally leave the door cracked enough for someone passing by to get a glimpse and pretend he doesn’t see them stop in the hallway.

X – X-Ray [Dick Size]

A little over average length (like 6 ½) but not much girth. Not skinny to the point of dissatisfaction, just not much stretch.

Y – Yearning [Sex Drive]

Average, both when home and on tour. Despite the speculation of others, or what you may have perceived from reading this, I don’t see TY as a super sexual person (in the sense that it’s a major facet of his being or has a big role in his life). While I do think things can get pretty freaky with him when the time is right, I believe for the most part he just a big softie who craves affection.

Z – Zzz [After Sex]

Takes about 30 minutes to fall asleep after getting both of you cleaned and settled.  

[oikawasbread]

(part 1) Ah, okay for matchup’s, I thought it would be cool to try one of theses because I've never done one before. I’m female, and bisexual. I’m a Scorpio, and I enjoy track and cross country, dancing, which i’m fairly good at, photography and reading in general. I also find myself getting back into drawing and singing oftenly. It said I was a INTP-T. I have relatively short brown hair, which is curly. I’m mixed, more on the tan side and i’m 5′6 (I just checked)

I wear glasses majority of the time, and i’m fairly curvy. I see myself as a ambivert who has a bit of a shy shell, but can easily be broken into revealing a very energetic human being. My friends describe me as scary?? Aka, i’m not afraid to defend myself or state my opinion in many conversations. Along with that, I do get anxiety quiet often and wonder frequently if I accidentally made someone mad or not. With people I trust or like, i’m fairly loud and laugh alot- and its to the point where people have to tell me to calm down lmao. I enjoy engaging conversations almost about anything, and I wish I can have those types of talks more in my life. Alone however, i’m usually quiet and don’t start conversations unless I have too, or someone starts a conversation with me. In relationships, I’m just looking for someone who can make me laugh, while also tying me down when my emotions get the best of me, while respecting who I am. A few negative parts about my life can be simply showed with my zodiac sign with me being able to get jealous really fast and holding big grudges other small things, which are two things i’m trying to work on currently. On the positive note, I will say that I will literally take a bullet to save any of my best friends to be completely honest. I enjoy the rain, snow, and cold temperatures. I love animals and I have a very tiny doggo that I treasure with every ounce of my being. finally the last one im so sorry) I really enjoy reading about Greek gods and fantasy books. Another fact is that I get flustered really easily, which a lot of people tease me about. I don’t exactly like to stand out, which is why my wardrobe has more dark colors, as I don’t own any red/orange/yellow or pink shirts. And finally the last fact I thought I should include randomly is that I play the piano and learning it this year was one of the best decisions I've made in my life.

Damn, don’t feel sorry for this detailed description, fr. I actually enjoyed so much writing this. As a scorpio, I relate to you so much. I spent so much time on this and you gave me so much info so i had to do a whole character analysis for you and I felt like i was writing about myself. So I enjoyed writing this so much cause I realised new things I didn’t knew about me and it feels good to know that I’m not the only one who is like this.

Anyways!

MATCHING WITH : OIKAWA TOORU

Aight, I know that so many people hate him. And i don’t know if you hate or love him , but hear me out : Besides being a cancer and working with a scorpio so well, i feel like Oikawa would be perfect for your character.

-

 he’s totally in love with the way you style your brown curly hair. 

he says ‘’it’s almost as good as my hair’’

  he’s a total simp he knows your hair is better than his

 has a thing for your tanned skin. tbh u make him wish he wasn’t so pale :’( baby boy wants to get that tanned shiny skin! but it is what it isss

 you being 5’6 makes it easy for him to mock you. 

but he won’t exaggerate, because he knows you’re going to cut him with your sharp glance

 you’re clearly the top in this relationship. i mean you’re a scorpio. are we surprised?

 y’all r going to volleyball matches looking badass asf with your matching glasses but in reality you two are being crackheads in the last row of seats

 he clearly sees through you, but not since the beginning  

 at first, he was totally a bit scared to approach you. he’s always seen you being intimidating and sarcastic

you were like a challange to him, since Tooru himself is pretty intimidating and sarcastic

until he opens his mouth

and i think this is what makes you two so perfect for each other : you just need some time to warm up, then you suddenly become the funniest people of the group

 as a scorpio,  you can be pretty insensitive, having trouble when it comes to expressing your feelings, and when you and Tooru get into a fight, you won’t hesitate to throw some venomous words. sometimes you just can’t control your anger

but he knows you well. he won’t take it by heart since he knows how short your temper is, and he’s willing to step on his pride and put an end to your argument

 you’’re not afraid to step up. you’ve always went too far to defend your beliefs and he’s totally whipped. he thinks you would make a great lawyer haha

he loves how you always have a good argument for everything and how you can beat people in a fight just with your words. it’s truly amazing for him, the power you hold

so he avoids fighting with you

           I JUST KNOW you guys both have struggles when it comes to following rules. it comes with your zodiac sign. even though he’s way softer and innocent than you, you will drag him into your adventures. and he won’t say no :’)

 sometimes you feel like Oikawa is the only person who understands you, who doesn’t think you’re insane

he may not be a genius, but you can’t deny the fact that he’s actually clever

he understands you without even having to hear any words coming out of your mouth

Tooru knows you’re rebellious, stubborn, independent; he knows how you sometimes can feel 29843 emotions at the same time, and he’s here for you

he won’t question you when you don’t feel like talking. Instead, he would make a cup of your favourite tea, add  some ice in it, and watch you reading your favourite book while you’re drinking the tea in which he put his secret ingredient <3 love!!

you love reading about Greek Gods, and he loves aliens : so you slowly became a fan of the universe, the unknown, and he started to love the Greek Mythology

totally in love with your dance moves ; watching you dance is his favourite hobby; the way your body moves amazes him and he tries to dance like you sometimes . he may be the great king but not on the dance floor.

long story short, he’s in love with everything about you : your passion for photography, the things you’re reading (he actually finds your favourite authors quite interesting) , the way you’re singing in the shower or how you’re humming some familiar songs when you’re focused on something

he thinks he’s so lucky, and skipping some volleyball practices to hear you play his fave song at the piano is totally worth it

when he found out you’re an athlete, his brain went poof

watching you run with the sunlight dripping all over you was what he needed to get his mind off the school and vbc stress

having a thing for sports made you even more interesting and hot (he didn’t knew you could get hotter than you already are)

sometimes he can see that you’re needing approval, and he tries his best to let you know that you are the greatest at whatever you do.

you think he’s bluffing just to make you feel good, but you appreciate it so much even tho baby boy actually thinks you’re the greatest. like fr. you are his grand queen

you have a rich inner world, so you’d rather focus your attention on it instead of the external world. 

Oikawa thinks it’s pretty cute, cause you guys sometimes have lazy Sundays when you just lay in bed all day and do nothing but enjoying each others presence and your own thoughts.

Tooru, just like you, hates failure. losing any type of match puts him down, and the same happens to you. 

you feel like you wanna start over and do things the other way around, but you can’t.

the good thing is, you have each other.

 he mocks the hell out of your jealousy. whenever his fan girls are approaching him, you feel your heart stop and the oxygen fading away. you just wanna let out your anger

but he knows it, and he will reassure you that you don’t have any reason to feel that way. 

he’s only interested in his Grand Queen and no one else can change his mind.

he finds it quite fun that you hold grudges over small things, he can clearly see that you’re vengeful, and that makes you two lil partners in crime.

BUT the way you’re willing to do absolutely anything for him or your friends inspires him so much. 

of course, he would take a bullet for you. But your strong spirit is what’s making him be so passionate about everything : you inspire him

 the best days for him are when you two are around the house, and it suddenly starts raining. 

he only has to look at you once, and you both drop everything you’re doing and run outside to just sit in the rain. the feeling of the cold rain on your skin while you’re trapped between his arms makes your heart explode

 little moments like these are making you both fall in love more and more everyday.

I really really hope you enjoyed this! I tried my best and please feel free to request again whenever you want! <33                                                                                          

-Riley

[mathieubellamont]

man in relation to that last post, and its not really related to this blog outside of it but its weighing on my mind

ive seen two things lately about audiences and content creators, specifically those of the Edgy kind. And, as a disclaimer, i am both LGBT and mixed race and oh, also disabled, and i am not saying “yes their content is offensive But you should care about them more” like ofc im gonna care more about the people who are hurt by the spreading of harmful shit but. anyway

whats been on my mind is the fact that these creators create, with all their edginess and their discarding of feelings for Facts and whatnot forms these audiences that, even if mild in their reactions, have and hold no place for feelings, and people who they disagree with. Even the ones who just have “Comedic” content thats laughing at minorities and whatnot, it breeds things in the audience - and attracts peole who’re already infected by it - that focus on laughing and making fun of people and tearing people down who they just mildly disagree with. We all knew that, but specifically whats weighing on my mind is that........... When you do that, theres no backing down. If you realise youve been wrong somewhere and the people youre attacking have been right, if you realise you dont want to make this content anymore, if you realise you’re tired or stressed, or the environment youve created has gotten too toxic, how are you going to back down? People look to you for their vicious entertainment, people look to you for things to tear apart however lightly, to Roast or to offend or to seriously hurt, and if you arent providing fresh bodies to that audience, theyll take it from you. You have to either be sure when you go into creating edgy content that youll be doing this for the rest of your life, or youre ok with being the subject of what youre inflicting on others when you stop. That, or you have to hope to god that your audience gets bored of you before you call it quits

like...... It all boils down to this. Edginess attracts two main kinds of people, people who are clueless about the harm theyre doing and looking to parrot others/who want to make people uncomfortable or upset/who want to make people feel like they feel, thats one category, and the other main category is genuinely fucked up people who like to see the hurt and the offence it causes, who want women/other minorities to be uncomfortable at best or unwelcome or feel in danger at worst, people who show through their humour that theyre willing to act in ways that hurt people for fun. The first category, people who dont get the harm it causes and just want to shock people (which, as a person clueless to microaggressions and racism and why things actually offend people could either be just surprise Or serious harm they label as shock), theyre clueless about the power youre breeding in them and the cluelessness, but the second group of people are actively harmful. Either way, when you finally need your audience to be understanding, when you need to post your “my mental health is going downhill and i cant ignore it anymore” video or post, youre stuck with these people, and obviously others outside those categories, but youre stuck with them. The people who are willing to beat down already beaten down minorities? Who reduce everyone to a set of stereotypes and if they disagree with any quality you have youre their target? Who think doxxing and swatting are funny, who think harrassment and death threats are just edgy and, well, you know edgy is totally fine right?? Edgy is good right?? what are you going to do?

Maybe when youre in your hour of need your audience will have a change of heart, but if you attract an audience who follow you for and approve of your disregard for peoples needs, who make fun of and attact people saying they need help (”i suffer at the hands of oppression” “im disabled” “im a targeted minority” “ive suffered from harassment” etc) what do you think theyre going to do to you when you dont want to play the game anymore? 

Like theres a leap in logic here between being an edgy content creator and definitely reaching a point where you wont do it anymore. Yes, maybe youll be edgy for the rest of your life....... But as someone who was an edgy teenager slinging around slurs constantly and racist and homophobic and transphobic shit...... The end to that was the singular logical conclusion for me as someone trying to be a good person. When you actually learn about these things, or when you start to live it as an lgbt person or you reconnect with your nonwhite half, or you have a family member who is assaulted, or a friend who finally confesses their online harassment and the severe damage its done to them, and you have an audience waiting for you to tell them who to laugh at/treat like shit if they want to because well, theyre wrong and stupid arent they, why should anyone treat them well - thats the conclusion a lot of these people take from seeing people be made the butt of jokes.......... What are you going to do?

Ive always tried to make this blog a mentally and emotionally safe place. Ive made mistakes, but ive always tried to own up to them and learn from. Like, yeah, theres been some racist shit on this blog before, probably some transphobic shit too, ive had this blog since i just turned 17 in dec. 2013....... Its important for my followers that i cultivate a place that is good for them, that isnt stressful, that focuses on good content or. me having fun in video games lmao. and why is that good? well, because i want to. Its not necessarily the right thing to do nor the wrong thing to do, it just Is morally. But when it comes to cultivating an audience based on constantly shocking people, and making people uncomfortable, and making innocent people scared to exist or ashamed of their existence or hurt because theyre reminded that what they are is disgusting to people like you, whether you mean it or not? Thats where I feel things like this become a moral choice. Like, first of all, even if youre doing it jokingly, if youre having fun pretending to throw punches and kicks even if the point is to laugh at you, you run the risk of people getting hit. Thats why we dont do that in public spaces. When youre jokingly throwing metaphorical punches even if the joke is that youre being an arse purposely, youre in that corridor, and the traffic in that corridor is every single person that sees your post, possibly hundreds, possibly thousands, and so the chance that youre going to hit people - many people - is huge. But to get back to whats on my mind, even if you dont give a shit about all the people you hit accidentally or on purpose, when you train an audience to expect you to feed them meat, when you stop feeding them meat theyll still be looking at you, and if theyre hungry enough - entitled enough, angry enough, uncaring enough, tired of life and other people enough, unknowing enough, ready enough to bring the fight to other people - theyre going to pick at you if not take chunks off you if not tear you to shreds. When you call people who think shock humour and hurting other people is acceptable, well, thats what youve done right?

You dont need to make a blog like mine thats purpose is to be safe. You dont need to actively try to make sure people feel like they fit in with your content, you dont need to create a space for other people to enjoy at all, maybe you just wanna do what makes you laugh. But the less space we hold for people to hurt people the less people are going to get hurt, shocker i know, but also the less harmful people’s anger we are unknowingly feeding, and the less fucking clueless kids who are going to grow up parroting things theyve heard and never understood, that truly evil people understand, and the less content creators in the future we’re going to have to dig out of the hole they back themselves into

anyway. odd post, its done now

[oddishfeeling]

could it be because i have no real purpose

the pursuit of purpose shouldn’t be conflated with productivity or even work 

work in it of itself is futile but when it’s coupled with purpose there’s intention, where there’s intention there’s thought, and anything thoughtful enough to make work seem less like punishment is worth pursuing 

i don’t mind working. i have a hard time getting started, and also a hard time focusing and i also have a hard time seeing projects through lmao but these are things i can learn and there are resources at my disposal that are going to help make working easier

i keep fantasizing about this life that is all pleasure and no pain and gain and no pain and i keep going through the motions of my life and i have been feeling so directionless. my therapist (my new one, the affordable one i found on openpathcollective.org !) says these feelings are common for someone my age and for someone who’s in transition which i keep trying to remind myself of

and the truth is school makes me really unhappy but it’s something i need to get done cuz the world makes any other options seem impossible . the thought of forging a path outside of school is so titillating to me it’s almost taboo. that’s what makes it exciting! but i dont have any solid plans outside of getting my degree if im being so totally honest

there are places i wanna visit, foods i wanna try, but as far as contributing something to the world..? i just don’t know how i’m going to do that yet. 

i like helping people and i enjoy helping people understand things. i’m abnormally patient and i could even imagine being fulfilled as a teacher. but also i dont want to be a teacher and that wasn’t anything i even planned to do?! idk anymore i guess beggars can’t be choosers! sometimes life decides for you. 

the pattern app told me i should be open to change and be willing to try a new path..... could it be!! my new path?? in the last week i have also considered doing a podcast, youtube (again), and now teaching lol my therapist said im a good storyteller after she asked me to draw pictures of my life on the white board in her office lol she said “i wonder if there’s something there? i’m writing that down” lol that was such a nice compliment im still thinking of it 3 days later 

i did take a public speaking class n even tho my shit was like late or incomplete the teacher said i was an eloquent speaker lmao 

also i wonder what it’d be like to write comedy? it seems hard but ive been really wanting to try different types of writing styles. maybe i’ll actually do it one day. literally anything can happen!!!! 

[skamfairy]

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - thoughts after reading it for the first time

OKAY OKAY OKAY as usual this will be a mess cos there IS A LOT to discuss so good luck trying to make any sense of this ashjsjhajh

Once again i’m gonna take some time to reinforce my feelings about my baby Harry. HE IS GROWING UP SO FAST HELP. I love him so so so much and it was soooooo SO SO SO interesting to see him get a taste of dark magic with the Half-Blood Prince’s book. Like I really need to analyse this further later. it’s so interesting to his character and this whole “harry and voldy are connected” thing. to see him actually get help and learn more from this dark magic and actually enjoy it and defend it throughout the whole book was just sooo cool to read and it shows that anyone even the chosen one can get tempted by dark magic. I really wish this would have been explored further in the series but seeing there is only one book left i’m not gonna get my hopes up. This also makes me think of that thing dumbledore said about harry not being able to be tempted to the dark side because he’s protected by love. I really loved that moment between the two and it made me just wanna hug harry because he couldn’t understand how that made him special and i wanted to shake him and be like HARRY YOU ARE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE. But i find it interesting that this was said after we have spent a whole book watching him get tempted by dark magic. sure it’s not the same as joining voldy but I think it’s really telling that he saw just how powerful and helpful dark magic can be and we got to see firsthand along with Harry, why dark magic is so tempting to wizards and witches. AND I LOVED THIS ASPECT OF THE BOOK THE MOST !!!

This would be the part where i talk about how much I loved fred and george in this book and YES I LOVED THEM but i have a bone to pick: there wasn’t enough of them smh. I better get so much more of them in Deathly Hallows or i’m gonna scream. They are two of my faves hands down and every scene with them makes me laugh and smile. I need my comedy relief.

Okay im gonna critique another thing IM SORRY if this is super controversial and mean, but what the hell is with the romance in this? don’t misread this I LOVE ROMANCE so so so much but i wish we got an actual romance with a deep and meaningful connection where we could be like “oh he’s so into her” without harry saying “oh so i like ginny now” like shsahjjhas IT WAS SO RANDOM !!!! and it feels sooooo awkward. The tonks and remus thing at the end was also random and awkward. idk i kinda want to see characters form a close bond instead of just being told HEY SO THEY SUDDENLY LOVE EACH OTHER JUST GO WITH IT. I do like ron and hermione tho. I mean that’s been building up for ageeessss and the drama was super fun lmao teenagers. ALSO if you are gonna force ginny and harry on me at least give me some angst but nope he just kisses her and we’re good to go. AGAIN IM SORRY I FEEL REALLY MEAN SHJASHJS i’m being really harsh right now but who knows i might change my mind after the last book sjhhjsahasj

ahhhhhh man okay okay i’m gonna address the elephants in the room. SNAPE SNAPE SNAPE SNAPE SNAPE i got one thing to say to you...

seriously guys i think the worst part of this is just,,,,,,,,HARRY AND I KNEW AND DUMBLEDORE WOULDN’T LISTEN TO USSSSSSS UGH IM SO MAD AND FRUSTRATED EVERY TIME HARRY WAS LIKE “UH SIR, HE’S A FAKE ASS BITCH” DUMBLEDORE WAS JUST LIKE

idk it’s just i can’t explain the feeling guys, i just feel so frustrated and unsatisfied??? like something feels incomplete it doesn’t feel right?? does that make sense? like i have this really weird incomplete feeling about this situation. something is missing. Why was Dumbledore, the most powerful wizard ever, so convinced Snape was on his side??? like something is SO OFFF im just so FRUSTRATED AHHHHHHHH like he pleaded with him too HE PLEADED whats going on here??? i feel like i need to read dumbledore’s diary or something because THE BASTARD FORGOT TO EXPLAIN TO US WHY HE WAS WILLING TO IGNORE SNAPES OBVIOUS EVIL ASSS???? im sorry i guess i’m at the anger phase with my grief right now sahjashj

THE HALF BLOOD FUCKING PRINCE alright you guys trust me when i say i have never been more disappointed and devastated in my whole life. I think I only mentioned it once or twice but I REALLY GOT MY HOPES UP that it was lily. I’m super in love with her from the tiny bit i know or have seen of her and I REALLY WANT MORE OF HER BACKSTORY and i really convinced myself it could be her cos i’m an idiot. sure when harry began using spells that basically sliced a person up, i kinda figured it wasn’t her anymore, BUT SNAPE??? RIGHT AFTER KILLING DUMBLEDORE??? im- WHY i swear all this series does is make me feel pain. I don’t know what hurts more, that harry has been learning dark magic from Voldy’s right hand man all year, or that this probs means i’m never gonna get Lily backstory :((( there is only one book left.

i’m really depressed about dumbledore dying. the scene itself was so painful and good tho i will not lie. especially with malfoy like, i really really feel bad for that kid. he didn’t wanna kill his headmaster? he’s just a kid who has been given this horrible order that he literally can’t refuse. I’m sad. and then harry not being able to move and having to watch it all under his invisibility cloak? :(( AND THEN THEY TELL US THEIR MISSION WAS ALL FOR NOTHING AND IF THEY DIDN’T GO DUMBLEDORE’S DEATH COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED JUST LIKE SIRIUS’S FUCK ME UP.

OH and i’ve already worked out who R.A.B is and im so excited to hear how that story goes. he has tea on voldy and i wanna hear it.

Also i remember making a comment about obsessive love being foreshadowed at the start of the book, and i guess that turned out to be voldy’s parents? his mother used a love potion on him so he is the subject of obsessive love instead of real love and i guess that’s important because harry is protected by love and thats something voldemort doesn’t have. so i guess that’s what it is?

ALRIGHT so what is gonna happen next? i really don’t kn- oh wait i do know this time cos harry told me. him, ron and hermione are gonna hunt down the horcruxes like a fun treasure hunt but with PIECES OF VOLDEMORTS SOUL instead of like chocolate easter eggs or something. and that’s about all i know. im so scared to see how it ends im just AHHHHHHH i just hope my faves survive and end this thing happy.

Also i really really really wish i’d get lily backstory im sad because james got a WHOLE BOOK dedicated to his time at hogwarts and his patronus and his friends and what he was like and everything but lily just gets a guest star appearance in snapes memory where he says a slur at her because he’s the worst. (i really don’t get dumbledore trusting this dude when he loathed both of harry’s parents like that god) but yeah i really want lily time but i don’t think it’s gonna happen UGH UGH UGH

so yeah asjhsahj im really excited and nervous to finish this series AHHHHH it’s gonna be weird officially knowing everything im not ready sjhsajash also i feel sad for fawkes :((

[haonqq]

30 Day Yinro Challenge: Day 1-9

All of this ended up longer than intended so its 9 days under the cut lmao

1. the basics: introduce us to your watcher!

You enter the walls of Caed Nua, met with the sight of milling guests and locals alike, small market stalls lined up. It almost appears akin to a small village, people going about their business, be it building, shopping, watching the speech in the foyer you can’t quite hear from your distance, or perhaps attending worship in the small, homely church. It certainly wasn’t what you’d expected from all of the ghastly descriptions of the place from merely a year ago. You peel your eyes from the sight and make your way towards the Great Hall, but as you approach, looking like one to proposition the local thayn, a guard stops you. “You won’t be findin’ him in there.” She gestures behind her at the large door, cracked slightly but seemingly empty. “This time a’day he’s usually out by Brighthollow, working in the garden or cookin’. If he hasn’t been stolen off to help out with some other chore.” What she’s saying doesn’t quite make sense, and you aren’t inclined to believe her, but follow her directions back towards this ‘Brighthollow’. Passing through a few groups of gossiping locals, you find the building matching her description and look around. Nobody seems to be in the garden, though it does seem recently tended. The kitchen seems to be your next stop, but as you make your way towards the door, you hear something like a curse above you. Squinting up into the afternoon sky, you manage to spot a shingle as it slides off the edge of the roof, managing to move out of the way just in time to avoid it landing on you. You look up again to see an elf. You blink again, having not believed the rumors of a pale elf being the new thayn and owner of Caed Nua. “Oh, gods, sorry! Did it hit you? I should have been more careful, slipped right between my hands!” He looks as apologetic as he sounds, wiping a wrist along his forehead, thin locks of strawberry dusted pale hair sticking to the sweat on his face and neck. “Here, let me just-” And within a moment he’s down the ladder and in front of you, checking you over carefully before wiping a fleck of dirt off your shoulder, then clapping his hand there. “There we go, good as new!” It was harder to hear from above, but its clear he isn’t from the Dyrwood. Rauatain, if your memory is to be trusted, but he speaks Aedyran clearly enough. He smiles as he looks you over, crow’s feet wrinkling at the corner of his eyes and it’s only now you notice their striking pink color. “Ah, my apologies, Yinro Manaaki, Thayn and Lord of Caed Nua at your service. I take it you’re here to speak with me?” He starts out maintaining eye contact with you, but as he continues on he squats down to pick up the bits of broken shingle from the ground before standing again. You nod your affirmation, though you’re not sure what to make of him. He seems genuine enough, and the name matches. He smiles again, so genuinely you can tell everything he’s telling you is the truth. “You have excellent timing, I was just finishing up fixing the roof.” He disposes of the shingle pieces and wipes his hands on his pants, already dirty from previous wear. Then he gestures forward and takes a step towards the Great Hall, waiting on your before moving along, keeping at your pace. “So, what is it I can do for you?”

2. appearance: what race is your watcher? what do they look like? any scars, tattoos, or markings?

(photo by @riessene because its just,,, so good im cry)

I touched on a few things in the fancy dancy intro but! He’s a pale elf with strawberry blonde hair(though its on the lighter side) and of the lighter blue skin variety. Naturally, he’s covered in those white freckles because i love them He has two prominent scars, both on his face

The first is the scar on his mouth, which crosses both lips. While in a,, disagreement fight with his older adopted brother Branwen, there was always some shoving and punching and the like, but Branwen got a solid hit on him and Yinro managed to catch his face on something sharp and it just sliced through his lip and its healed but never really gone away,, The other is on his cheek, down to his jaw and he actually got this one when he met Aloth! Unable to talk the drunks down, Yinro assisted Aloth with taking them out for their safety and managed to catch one of the weapons on his cheek since he’s an idiot and doesnt use weapons when he fights and with everything going on with lack of sleep and all its unlikely it healed to full capacity and so it will remain for all his days

(im debating on one over his eyebrow at the beginning of Deadfire but that depends on how That starts exactly also debated on a tattoo but lbr i forget his scars all the time im good lmao)

3. personality & alignment: give us a look into your watcher’s personality! you can use theirmyers briggs type, d&d morality alignment, or just describe their motives and quirks.

As a start, Yinro is bordering the Neutral/Chaotic Good alignment, sticking closer to the Trying to keep lawful, but also following his own moral compass as to whether the Law is truly Good. He is however a supremely good person and tries to remain as honest as possible without putting someone in danger that doesnt need to be. While he is, as Eder put it, the type to “get involved”, in cases where the punishment seems deserved he won’t step in. However, while he does genuinely try to be good and make good decisions, part of it is attempting to make up for past wrongs and trying not to dip back into bad habits. He also has problems, because of that and misunderstanding teachings, avoids his anger. He used to let his anger pretty much control him, back when he was first adopted, and made a lot of trouble for people who didnt deserve it. He was supposed to be learning to control his anger and work with it and not let it control him, but ended up suppressing it in the long run. (which is going to be a primary Personal Conflict in Deadfire cause BOY is he pissed). But ultimately he’s a benevolent person and believes the best of everyone and believes that anyone can make up for their mistakes in the long run if they’re willing to try.

4. sexuality & gender: how does your watcher identify? is this important to them, or have they never given it much thought?

Gender hasn’t really been much of a focus for Yinro and he’s never really given it much thought. He probably thought about it a bit when literally soul searching provided his previous life was a woman, and if he didn’t already view gender as more of a biological thing than a soul bound thing or important at all, he’d probably be more fluid but he’s comfortable identifying as a man in this life.

Yinro is strictly attracted to men, both romantically and sexually, and is pretty important to him. While I dont think Rauatai in particular is against same-sex relationships, I think in his mind considering before being moved there he only lived with his mother and didn’t really interact with much anyone else he probably heard a lot about het relationships moreso thank gay ones and so when he got to a romantically interested age, he had that barrier of ‘but I SHOULD like women’ when realistically he was repulsed at the idea. It was a big part of realizing who he is and is much more important to him than gender.

This being said, he is a very touchy person (touchy being like. Physically touching peple, he enjoys physical contact) and isn’t opposed to being as touchy with female friends as long as they’re aware theres no romantic inclination there.

5. background: what’s your watcher’s culture and background? tell us a bit about their life before traveling to the dyrwood!

Yinro spent the first 20 years of his life in The White That Wends living a nomadic life with his biological mother. His father was still alive, but the relationship with his mother was purely to produce a child for her. She was a hunter, and decided clan life wasn’t for her, and so that was where Yinro grew up. An unfortunate accident after being ambushed by slavers hampered her mobility, and ultimately resulted in her death in an avalanche. This left Yinro travelling alone with no hint as to where a clan may be or really anyone at all. He lasted alright, knowing how to hunt and survive there, but that didn’t prepare him for the slavers catching up, trapping him and ‘escorting’ him to Rauatai for selling. He didn’t spend long in servitude but it was enough to twist his sorrow from losing his mother into an anger that would permeate the next 10 years of his life. Naturally when he managed to escape servitude, he was a scourge of the streets. Petty theft, shakedowns, anything to get by. After he was picked up by a kind dwarven woman with a knack for picking up troubled youth and adopting them named Vianna Manaaki, this behavior continued until he met his mentor. His mentor really kicked him a new one, but became almost like a father figure to him, even if he was temporary. After that, Yinro began to shape up and make amends for his previous wrongs and becoming a role model for his younger siblings and gaining some semblance of a normal siblinghood with Branwen, though the resentment for the trouble Yinro caused his mother was still there. He began making amends to a local tavern owner by washing his dishes, steadily becoming more and more interested in cooking while watching him in the kitchens. Over time, the owner began working with him to the point that Yinro was a full fledged assistant chef. Once the management changed, Yinro decided that was his time to set out and find somewhere he could really call his, always feeling a bit outcast. He set out for the Dyrwood after hearing about cheap land, hoping to find an inexpensive place to live and settle down and make a living off cooking. Then we find him with the caravan and WELL,, chefing didn’t work out.

Due to him spending a majority of his life in Rauatai, I went with the Rauatain Laborer background, though he does still follow some TWTW culturally, he’s more in tune with Rauatain (initially he was a drifter but ultimately didn’t fit with his bg)

6. family: who does your watcher consider family? do they place more importance on blood relatives or found family? do they keep in touch after traveling to the dyrwood?

Yinro always considers his birth mother family, but considers his adopted family (even Branwen) just as much family as she was. (guess who’s got nine fucking adoptive siblings, though two are older than Yinro) And while he does consider his companions family as well, there’s a different context, familial but definitely more on the ‘found family’ variety, whereas adoptive family are basically blood relatives in his his eyes. He was doing well keeping in contact with them on his way and at the beginning of the trip, but as things got more hectic and he got more tired, he didn’t want to worry them so he sent one final letter reassuring them that he was just getting busy and wouldn’t be in contact for a while. He has since resumed regular contact post-game.

7. stats & class: give us a rundown of those sweet, sweet base stats. do they line up with how you envision your watcher from a roleplay standpoint, or are they more gameplay based? do they line up with your watcher’s race and class? how did they begin training in their chosen class? (bonus! will they be multi-classing in deadfire?)

Not technically the stats i used in game, since these are from one of the replays with the laborer bg and more context to what the stats actually do. I try to stick closer to a roleplaying form rather than gameplay, but try to keep a clooose balance between the two, making it possible to do the things I want Yinro to be able to do as well as keep close to how he actually is. I think he is not nearly as perceptive or smart as the average elf assumedly is, he’s a lil bumpkin with no formal education but he’s not stupid either. I thinkkk its pretty good Monk stats though (okay he DOES have perception but he’s too much of a dingus to do anything about what he sees) I briefly touched on it in the bg question, but! (okay im changing how they met right now because i just came up with a better idea here we go lmao) Yinro was shaking some people down late at night, when his master(monk master/teacher is what i mean by master in this story) walks by. Of course, being in this part of town for a while he’s heard of Yinro, little shits got a rep. He waps Yinro over the back of the head with a his staff, knocking him down and dazing him, letting the two he was shaking down go but turning back to Yinro is able to recognize the pain and and anger behind his actions. Gives him two options: get turned over to the guard(again), or become his pupil and move past this. Yinro, conflicted but also WANTING to change and grow, took him up on the offer. And so for the next couple years he trained him in both combat and discipline, and Yinro stopped being so much of a little shit.

The plan IS for him to multiclass, but I’m not sure if I want him to be a Shadowdancer or a Brawler,,

8. fighting style & gear: what weapons and armor does your watcher use? are there any talents/abilities that they favor in combat? are there any that they refrain from using, for moral reasons or otherwise? (bonus! will they choose a sub-class in deadfire?)

A good portion of the game I had him in medium armor, but realistically he’s more likely to wear light armor(aka basically,, regular clothes,, with maybe a leather vest, MAYBE) He also didn’t use any weapons, depending purely on his little gay hands, though come Deadfire he’s realised that,, maybe he should,, use weapons and right now I have him using a sword/sabre in his main hand and dagger/stiletto in his off hand but thats subject to change depending on subclass and how viable monk is Debating on the Shattered Pillar subclass for monk, but Im not sure about a multiclass subclass (maybe avoid a subclass for one for simplicity’s sake)

9. reputations: what are your watcher’s dispositions? do they line up with how you envision your watcher? what are your watcher’s reputations? do they work to maintain any reputations, either good or bad?

Remember how i said Yinro was a good boy? When have I EVER lied to you?? I will say I didn’t play with dispositions on so a lot of the stoic options (esp the Hiravias one with the raw meat. Also Yinro would eat raw meat just not That Part) I was playing off for comedic effect which is. Really funny if you consider Yinro just being bad at jokes

Reputation wise he didn’t explicitly try for anyone to like him besides the Crucible Knights and that was so he could get into the peace talks since they seemed the closest Law without consorting with criminals or,, u know the Dozens,,, neither of which he was a fan of (he had some drawbacks with the knights ofc but less than the others) Which is probably why he ended up with some places only seeing him as a hero rather than a champion And some places,, not liking him much at all

[yvvaine]

I was wondering if any [past or present] Jonerys, Pro-Daenerys fans like myself feel this way.....?

Firstly Id say please be nice i just enjoy analyzing the shit out of fandoms I like, (im a history/polysci major ((with an emphasis on Peace Justice and & Conflict Studies)) all i do is analyze and try to be diplomatic lmao) but considering all they petty drama between both ships as well as pro/anti Daenerys stans ON BOTH SIDES I’m going to be “That Person” and at least ask for people to be respectful/civil, I want to hear from everyone and their metas/what they think which is why i tagged like, all the tags, no matter if you love her/the ship or cant stand it, as long as everyone can keep civil So firstly I’ve loved Dany both books and show from the beginning. She’s gorgeous, wants to be the best person she can be, and her hair/fashion style game is always ON POINT.  That being said, somewhere around season 5 i think i’ve found my opinion on her cooling a little bit, ep after ep, till now. Like I still like her bc she was my first character love on the show but I’ve def soured in my opinion on her. Maybe it’s because I love learning about the subject that im more baised (im hoping thats the case) but she just seemed to have no interest in actual governance, just the reputation (esp of being the ‘rebel queen’)/the awe/the power/the thrill of the adoration that went along with it to the point where I feel like though she still wants to be a ‘good queen’ or at least wants to be seen that way, she doesnt want to do much work for the title. Like yeah she freed all the slaves and that was a def progressive and awesome move on her part (major props! slavery is sin and im glad someone recognized that who had the power to do something about it) but she didnt handle that aftermath or ensuing problems well at all nor really mulled heavily on the subject to find the best solution. She just got fustrated with pretty basic/common (albeit complex in themselves) issues of standard governance and kind of went agh! fuck this! (obv not actual quotes but that was the vibe I got). And then ESPECIALLY after season 7 her character has kind of nagged at me in the back of brain which i hate but its inherent like its just a feeling i cant help it?? I just dont know why to be honest that Im feeling so negative towards this character i used to love.  The whole ‘ bEnD thE knEe ‘ thing w/ Jon and yet pinning it on Jon’s pride not equally on his and her own was more than a little hypocritical, when hon they can discuss it later like at that point they have two common enemies the WW and Cersei they both want to do away with, and then again with the Bend the Knee or Die bit w/ the Lannister soldiers. In fact the whole sequence before that point felt kind of villinous I dearsay, I mean  deliberately burning the harvest that most of westeros needs for the winter or even strategically not willing to try, and well, nOOt intentionally burn the food considering its winter, the harvest is over (so likely not much is gonna grow in the time being) when she has a G I A N T ass army of her own to think of feeding???? Like i get it is war shit happens soldiers die but the F O O D ? Was that an impuslive in the moment mistake or did she just not give a fuck? And back to the aftermath scene/Bend the Knee 2.0, her speech was again quite hypocritical...and burning dickon?????? not willing to keep prisoners???? either bend or die??? I actually am glad she did away with Papa Tarly bc he was an awful human, but dickon????? a young idealistic man about to loose his father??? the heir to a major ally/house???? And honestly that bend or die strategy is soooooo dumb bc now she cant trust any of them like theyre only bending the knee out of self preservation homie, no one wants to die. they bend  the knee to survive and now they all of the sudden think youre their queen? Nah fam, prisoners were better, all you got are spies in your camps or people willing to backstab you at the smallest promise of coin. And i dont want that for my girl

IDK the whole “im gonna BREAK THE WHEEL,,,,,,,,yet im stating my claim mainly on my housename (aka the predominant force of said wheel for a literal dynasty) and the fact that i can scare people who otherwise are unconvinced bc lets be real westeros has had a bad run of rulers a lot of which were Targs in the past couple decades, into submission bc ill burn you otherwise???” doesnt sit well with me nor does it feel like the character ive been rooting for the past five-ish seasons. She just doesnt seem to put into effort on understanding Westeros, why things go wrong, being self-critical or sharing the blame,thinking on what a “good” ruler would do.... anyone else feeling this way and if so do you think this is just shitty writing? D&D butchering her character? or a new arc for her? perhaps the way shes always been? She just seems like a tantruming child bratty and entitled idk (a beautiful child but still)  As for jonerys...... im not gonna go into it much but how are other shippers happy????????? I honestly dont understand. I was SO looking forward to this season/this ship. like so much! But it felt so forced? And i know a lot of people claim its cause its rushed but tbh we’ve had a lot of romances in a similar time frame that felt like A C T U A L romances.....even Talisa/Robb who the Northerners will prob compare any of this too were so much better. THIS WAS MY EPIC SHIP DUDE. I feel the dany side of things (took a while but theres def heart eyes) and yet Jon???? He felt hollow. Still does even after sex. Im so disapointed but more than that I cant see the romance or the chemistry. He looks constipated. Hes never smiled like with his teeth around her the way hes done w others he cares deepily about (ygritte, toramund, sansa, even fkin gendry in the first scene they had together). He never reveals anything about himself. And between the “my queen” ep (and remember he was look warm when discussing her to toramund throughout it) and the previous the only thing that changed was that he saw the actual difference dragons made against WW. You could argue she saved them all too but that doesnt make you fall in love w someone out of the blue and also people have saved his ass before and??? Sansa w the vale anyone??? (Not an argument for jonsa js its happened) (though ill admit ive transitioned to loathing jonerys and loving jonsa more as a potential couple in the space of seven eps where if you asked me I wouldve been like PSH u cray. I never thought it would happen in a mill years but D&D ruined my ship and here i am! Shipping aside tho since its best too look at these things as neutral as possible).  Anyways the sigh of his after she left and when he pretended to be asleep.... idk. The only scene that felt genuine and where Jon smiled and it didnt look like a full on grimace and they actually kinda joked around was really nice and at the pit at the finale and if they do a LOT more of basic romance stuff like that I could ship it again but. It was followed by boatsex and boy.  I was hoping boatsex might rekindle my like for the two together. I could see the chemistry the passion. I was hoping the passion would overwhelm me and make up for the rest. But instead......like there was no foreplay, it lasted 2 seconds, and it was overplayed by brans voice and a reminder of future conflict or at the very least major angst b/w the two. i didnt see the parallel between regear and lyanna playing alongside their scene as anything romantic or that it should be taken as such. and the look they shared.... I was hoping jon would bring it bc Dany’s look in her eyes is like soooo smitten and adorable and say what you will I still have a space in my heart for her and still dont want her to suffer, but again Jon looks like oh shit/constipated. And not in a good oh shit way either.  There is a bunch more too but Imma stop there bc Im just tired at this point.  So many things were just....off this season. And it cant all be blamed on the “rushed” time frame. I’ve read the undercover lover theory and hon it makes the most sense (not perfect sense but still, more than what we’ve been poorly spoon fed) but im not willing to believe it just yet. Still, maybe D&D are just butchering a lot of things like making the romance believable and stuff for the sake of time that could be true i guess. But they like to go AHA GOT U so  Idk I dont find a lot of meta in the jonerys tag bc honestly (((((i think its bc the tag and ship are more popular and theirs more people both good and bad)))) it doesnt seem like snowballing theories is something all fans take really well in the tag at all. But whatever. I really want to know, is there any meta or theories im missing to either validate the icky feeling Im haveing about D or her “romance” or on the flipside anything that might make me change my mind about it? Theories, meta people! I just want to reiderate im not trying to hate on anyone or any point of view and I will flag any comment anti one ship or person or another if its plain hateful or rude. I just want to understand it and see what Im missing, esp because of how much I was looking forward to her arc and jonerys’ dynamic and how much the words “falling short” dont seem to cover it. And to see if im not the only one to either have critique on the ship or her character [or even actually change ships] Also i apologize for how much ive said “IDK” i just..... I DONT KNOW 

[zofias]

tod spoliers 

ever since i finished tower of dawn i’ve been wanting to write down my thoughts about it so here goes nothing lmao feel free to ignore this 

ok so tod started off pretty nicely sjm laid out the southern continent very descriptively and i was thoroughly invested bc well i was totally excited to read tod from the start and when i finally got my hands on it i was ready but not ready lol my emotions about it are just all over the place basically 

anyways i really enjoyed the aspects of the southern continent and the history of it the story of the khagans and how they are chosen was interesting the whole khagan gets to choose which child he/she wants as his/her heir was smth i got truly interested in bc its always the first born child who gets to take the crown or w/e so that was a nice change and the siblings that were introduced in tod were all dissimilar they all had such strengths to be heirs since they all specialized/lead different things like hasar had armadas and lead them sartaq had his aerial army kashin was a solider and controlled the armies on land arghun had his network of spies like i enjoyed that they all were individually so powerful i guess like thru each chapter you’d think the khagan would choose a different sibling but i was really happy that sartaq was chosen tho i did kinda feel like he would end up being heir like it became a bit obvious bc he seemed to be the one who took a stand and was like imma leave if you dont help aelin and co. 

ok lets move onto yrene towers at first i didnt know how to feel about her only bc we didnt get into her character as much yet but when she went to see chaol and nesryn for the first time i was literally laughing also idk why but the dynamic between her chaol in that first meeting made just go yup they gonna fall in love im a sucker for haters to lovers trope ok she literally despised him for a good few chapters lol yrene is freaking amazing and so badass her story was smth i really enjoyed i was really interested in her powers and all about the healers she wanted to make a difference and help her ppl and she got her wish in the end what was really cool about her was that she taught young ppl self defense even tho she knew not so much she wanted to give those girls a change to fight back and when the torre was attacked she knew how frightened that made them and made chaol come teach bc he’d be a good distraction from all the horrors i just really loved the way her mind works she was invested in the art of healing so thoroughly and yrene never backed down she was so determined to find answers like i loved her so much she was amazing slm may have faults but the way she writes female characters is really empowering LISTEN I NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW YRENE PUSHED HASAR INTO THE WATER i legit started laughing so hard like i needed that it was so good yrene is everything if you dont want to read this book bc of chaol read for yrene ok that’s all im going to say yrene was wonderful 

chaol westfall my first thought about him was ‘my baby i hope you heal and get to fight again’ like reading about how much he didnt like it in his chair was really sad i mean i get it chaol was always really determined and he like being ready to fight and then he lost movement in his legs and his world turned upside down like when yrene was healing him and he was feeling all the darkness and remembering what his father did to him when i read that his father literally pushed/threw him out of the house made me tear up chaol hit his head hard and the son of a bitch father didnt even let chaol’s mother come to him and terrin saw and chaol felt guilty for leaving him i just was so hurt reading that and also few guards helped him leave anielle and his damn father banished them to the mountains like i hated chaol’s father and now i just cant the darkness chaol had in him was so much did he hate himself? i think so but he was so angry and things were haunting him it just made my heart hurt i loved tower of dawn bc we got to see everything about chaol what he felt what he realized it was really good throughout he kept thinking about dorian and always was so loyal to him i love it when they reunite i need sjm to have them hug for a good hour or more tbh like its needed what also made my heart shatter was what he felt for aelin in his darkness you can see how he loved her and his hate for her too like i dont know how to explain it it made me feel idk his darkness was terrible and at some parts i had to put the book down to stop feeling too much idk chaol has gone through so much and it was nice to see what he felt he conquered his darkness and realized and accepted himself his journey was rough but he found himself i was so excited to read this book only bc of him he has always been one of my fav book characters and this made me love him so much more 

CHAROENE???? i dont know chaol and yrene’s shipname but imma tell you i love them together their dynamic was wonderful they slowly became friends and trusted one another they had to somewhat quickly open up to one another bc it was the only way chaol was going to heal physically and emotionally i enjoyed seeing how they developed their relationship it was nice chaol deserved to love someone who cared for him so much my favorite part was when they got into a fight and yrene was walking away and chaol wanted to go after so he willed himself to walk ever so slightly and as he was somewhat getting closer to yrene she began teasing him and moving away to make him walk more it was so cute i liked their relationship a lot they both felt equally comfortable to talk to one another and it was like a balance you know what actually my fav part was their day out in the city when they just rode horses and yrene was healing ppl it was sweet and calm and when they went out to eat just the two of them with no agenda they both deserved smth like that i loved it ik most ppl are going to say sjm wanted to just pair everyone off with a love interest but i love these two it was unexpected esp the fact that they are linked to each other and they’re married!! but i love it im a sucker for that bond stuff ok this relationship made me love tod so much 

nesryn faliq when she was first introduced in queen of shadows i was 50/50 on how i felt about her like i liked her but also somewhat didnt but let me tell you tod made me love her chaol was an idiot for using her as he did and she realized it and it seemed she was ok with it but i loved that she got to have her adventure i loved that she got to return to home and see her family she got to explore the lands of antica with sartaq and kadara what made me like her more was that she was didnt let opportunities pass her by she decided to go with sartaq and find her adventure on her own tho i did sort of predict that her and sartaq were going to become a thing after their little flight on kadara in the beginning idk it just seemed like they would be a thing which they did but i liked it she deserved someone like sartaq there was a lot of mutual respect in their relationship which i admired i loved that thru nesryn we got to learn more about antica and the history and everything like its her home and we got to see what she felt and loved about it that was my favorite thing i also loved that she got her own ruk!! AND NESRYN CAN SING that was so amazing like it adds so much more to her i love her 

a few other things one FUCKING MAEVE IS A VALG QUEEN I HATE HER like that made me so mad and now i want to know how everyone will react to this and what they will do i hope aelin NO ROWAN RIPS HER TO SHREDS another thing lysandra and falkan being her uncle was amazing i loved that we got to learn somewhat as to how lysandra got her powers butterfly the horse made this book a million times better again yrene pushing hasar into the water was hilarious hasar deserved it lmao i really wished someone did smth like to arghun kadara deserves appreciation for being an awesome ruk when she got trapped in the spiderweb i was a wreck also again MAEVE IS A VALG QUEEN what on earth and duva being possessed by valg and throwing her younger sister off a balcony i cried and duva was pregnant that was just so sad im so happy that yrene saved her life im happy that one else died i mean chaol came close obviously again and yrene and him are now linked which is cool but also like terribly dangerous i want to see what sjm is going to do with that the healers were so cool i loved reading about the torre and the origins and everything i hope we get to see more about them yrene is bringing hundreds of them with her so it could be a possibility there was just so much going on in this book lmao

i know i just hit the surface with a lot of this but i really wanted to get my view on the three mains out chaol yrene and nesryn are amazing and you know what i loved that this book was about them finding out where they fit into this war thats booming chaol was uncertain and felt he had nothing to offer bc he was injured but realized that the chair wasnt limiting him but he himself was nesryn found that she can be her own adventure she found that her home country was her place yrene discovered that her powers could save people who are possessed by the valg and that was epic i loved that this book was more about all these characters discovering who they are rather than anything else i loved it so much i was so excited for it and it didnt disappoint me 

if you read my stupid rambling i am so grateful for you haha thank you if you want to leave your opinion go right ahead whether it agrees with mine or not im up for anything lmao also there are probably so many spelling errors im so sorry lol 

~EDIT~ UM I FORGOT TO ADD ABOUT THE FIREHEART CHAPTER I COULDNT HANDLE IT IT RUINED ME OK IM JUST NOT OK AND THE FACT THAT MAEVE HAS AND MAEVE IS VALG MAKES EVERYTHING WORSE I JUST THIS IS TERRIFYING AELIN BETTER BE OKAY I NEED HER TO BE OKAY!!! 

[toomanyskeletons]

So, who are your OCs?

BOY that is a silly/weird/strange question to ask because i have SO FUCKIN MANYThe ones i tend to focus on are:Category One - Super Dead Brother Games OCs (from my novel-ish thing of the same title)Probably my newest OCs which are developed but not much. There are 12, kind of, and about 7 which are more important.Here goes:

Sad and Dead: basically a parody of Sam and Dean from Supernatural. They die every chapter, and are probably the laziest characters becauss i had to do JACK SHIT to make them vaguely real people. All I had to do was Sam and Dean and then exaggerate them slightly. I think. Every character in the SDBG is ‘exaggerated’ anyway, meaning that so far they have pretty strange reactions to things, which may be written out, or it may not.

Linda: started off as the 'I’m a vegan’ stereotype. I got kinda attatched to her though. Likes cooking. Soccer-mom type person without having any children. Sucks at cooking.

Lily: A chilled out kinda person. I realise here that actually i dont know much about my characters but hey that’s why im asking you all for questions. Wants to be a pro skateboarder. Victim to a heterosexual love triangle in chapter 3.

Ashlee: Foodie. Vaguely stereotypical white girl. Possibly autistic? I realised that she could be, and then tried to write her as so. Not entirely sure if it worked. Considered 'annoying’ by most of the other characters to be 'annoying’ because of her habits and her voice, which is often loud and screechy.

Marilyn: was originally a cotton ball with some wool and some eyes glued on, and before you look into that for meaning, i mean it literally. I made her in science class, starting as marilyn monroe, then a parody of marilyn monroe, then could be rose lalonde, then her own character ish. Can talk to eldritch abominations, which come up frequently in the story. Her best friend was an eldritch abomination named N'gwit, and during the story she befriends another one.

Clyde: an eighty seven year old man (though i may have changed that, i dont remember) with some form of memory problem. Believes he is multiple fictional characters throughout the story, including anakin skywalker, nemo’s dad and katniss everdeen. Befriends Dominus Apis (next on the list) under the belief he is Luke Skywalker.

Dominus Apis: google translated his name from english to latin to sound cooler, 'Bee Lord’. Super ripped, i think i described him as being built like dwayne the rock johnson sometime in the story. Can control bees with his mind, but is severely allergic to them.

Jeremy: he. I dont know much about jeremy. Mostly, he’s an asshole who doesnt like dogs or shakespeare, and he is willing to die for a girl he has only known for three days.(spoiler alert here, if you want to read the story i wouldnt recommend reading it)Or. Isn’t willing. Either way, he does. Dont misunderstand, its not for her protection. He tries to win her love and instead jumps head first into a pool of very sharp and non melty ice.(spoiler alert over)

John McJohn: also an asshole. Dies about 500 words into the first chapter so you cant blame me for not knowing about him.

Anon: based off the 4//chan// anon, is also a kind of asshole. Wears a hood over their head the whole time. Likes My Little Pony. Does not interact with other characters much. Mostly just exists to die. Their gender is never revealed.

Spencer: he likes weed. Thats basically his whole character. He’s a clone of another guy, though that never comes up in the story. Spends basically the entire story stoned.

So that’s the first batch of characters, i think there’s 12 there but knowing me i’m forgetting someone. Anyway.

WAIT, FUCK, I FORGOT TWO.

The Dungeon Master: started as a temporary name, then grew on me. Kind of like the game makers of the Hunger Games, except one person. They rush into decisions VERY quickly, as you will hopefully discover if you read the story. Never meets face to face with the first twelve.

George: the DM’s assistant. Spends most of the time being bossed around by them, and gets sick of that. Not much i can say here without spoiling an entire chapter lmao. He doesnt come up much anyway.

On to part two, the ocs of a universe which is called the Spectraverse currently, but has gone through many names.

I have so many characters in this universe, including eight gods, their children the eight archangels, THEIR children the Third Generation, and the god’s parent/s named Gaia and Xavier which merge into one being called Spectra.

The important characters are, mainly from the first book because i really think i will bore you if i keep going on like this. If you want to talk abou t spectraverse with me, do it in a specific ask. Otherwise i will talk f o r e v e r.

Taylor: Third Generation angel, if you want me to explain all the mechanics behind that just ask. He’s basically my first OC, if you dont count Marina, who he blended in from. Okay its a long story but basically, it was Marina, then Taylor for about 10 years but as a girl, then i discovered i was trans and decided that My Somewhat Self Insert should reflect me in that way, so he is now Taylor, a transgender guy whose dead name is Marina. Has been training in magic from the age of four, isnt good at much else. Has a large collection of vinyls. He currently has the abilities of fire manipulation and shadow manipulation, and he’s an illusionist as well. Was the strongest person in his country, where magic is basically a sport, but faked his death and didnt go back. Yes he is ENTIRELY one of the most overpowered characters but then again most of them are also ridiculously overpowered, so whatever.

Mystic: a third generation nephilim, which means his dad was an archangel and his mother was human. Taylor’s boyfriend. Has good control of his emotions, typically, which means he can reliably learn the magic of temperature manipulation, which is a sort of secondary magic to water manipulation. Stays on the sidelines and doesnt do much for the first book, which i am kinda angry about, but you get to hear his backstory in the second book, as well as a plot based on him.

Amelia: third generation half angel half demon. In the process of changing from one universe to another, her relation to the MC’s drastically changed which means that yeah i also basically dont know shit about her, either. currently the strongest mage in the country, which was basically the entire plot of the first book.

Gabriel: archangel, also known as the second generation. Bisexual. Autistic. Is proud of both of those things. Manages to convince the main character to do some things in the first book. He was supposed to have a plot line ans then i completely fucking forgot to write the subplot, so. Fucks off to god knows where in the second book, and returns in the yet to be written third book as a father figure to an orphaned child. Is the archangel/guardian of lightning, which is one of eight elements. I’m not going to go into that either.

Nathaniel: Taylor’s dad, also an archangel. is dating Gabriel. Known for his tendency to fuck off and disappear for decades at a time. Most of the other archangels hate him. Was an important figure in Taylor’s life, as the only family member who accepted him as transgender.

So. That was long. Im sorry i really enjoy talking about my OCs lmao, even if that isnt all of them. I have so many and yeah there ar e so many things i did not explain here for the sake of saving time on mine and your part. Did that make sense?Anyway. If you want to ask more about my oc’s, go ahead. Most questions, if as vague as this, will end in an answer like this.

lmao thanks for sending an ask i love you for it, feel free to send another bu t i wont answer it because i just spent like 1.5 hours typing this and i gotta be up relatively early tomorrow so i’d better go to bed.

Thanks tho

[burntflorets]

things i want to say to you if we were still talking: day 7

10 april 2017 7am i drank myself to sleep again ha ha. not the best of ideas but hey i knocked out. i finally slept at night. the only downside is that all my dreams were nightmares, and i couldn’t wake up from it. well i guess i got to give and take.

i just wished the days passed faster like how they did when we were enjoying ourselves in boracay.

it’s you? you’ve changed? you changed your mind about me didn’t you. you’re finally giving up on me.

i know i couldn’t keep my promise of the one month time out and i kept fucking up and texting you. i’m sorry i’m such a mess. im so used to talking to you everyday, when you stopped a part of me felt rly empty like i lost a best friend. idk. people come and go and as much as i don’t want you to leave, if that’s what your decision is, i got to learn how to accept it. even if i can’t.

this is fucking stupid. me trying to pretend i’m really talking to you here. what am i doing with life. i don’t have fucking friends. this. this “writing down on tumblr thinking i’m having conversations with you” shit is me lying to myself that i got friends. fuck how pathetic are you vera. no wonder people give up on you all the time. how pathetic can you get vera. you don’t have fucking friends, your phone hasn’t rang since idk when. the only time it rang was when there were adverts. ha fuck u vera. you’re so pathetic no one wants to be your friend, no one wants to talk to you. fuck u vera. why are you still alive anyways. you’re just a waste of space on earth.

8:48am fucking stupid hahahaha my staff pass can’t work lmao. FUCK. means i don’t need to work ah since i can’t get into office. lol AND NO ONE IS IN OFFICE LMAO HOW TO ENTER I ALSO DK?? wtv i’ll just sit in the rain and wait fuck this. vera u fucking pathetic i hate u. omg

11:52pm my stomach still feels like shit i think i drank too much yesterday. fuck that. at least it helped me get through the day.

24 more days to go.

3:03pm i’m holding up better than usual. it’s like one day i feel everything and the next i don’t feel anything at all. i guess i exhausted all my feelings yesterday ha ha ha.

but wtv, you don’t care right. bc you gave up on me alr and you’ve decided to leave. yeah i expected that too. i just didn’t want to believe it in the first place. i guess i was in denial.

saw mocha today omg i forgot how cuddly she is. but i heard she’s going to get adopted by someone soon. nooooo my fav dog out of the 4. why!?!!?!?!?!?!?!? if only i knew that they could be adopted earlier i would have asked if i could.

7:27pm idk why i still feel like shit from yesterday. cannot be that the alcohol is still in my body?? it’s been more than 24 hours?? everything i ate today, my stomach just rejected it. idk man i think i’m dying omg is my wish coming true?

8:57pm fuck this man. no matter how early i book my friends say want to go out for this or for that, end up always kena pangseh. including you sometimes. FUCK ALL OF YALL. AND U SAY I HAVE FRIENDS BUT I DONT BOTHER TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH THEM. FUCK U I DONT HAVE FRIENDS AT ALL. FUCK ALL OF YALL. I know i’m not cool and ugly and fat and shit ah, but wtf man. Doesn’t pay to be nice. i be such a nice friend for y'all for fuck. when it comes to me asking y'all, i suddenly don’t exist issit? fuck off. fuck you vera i hate you too.

10:16pm i am willing and can do anything and everything for you. i can change to be a better person for you. but what if at the end of this time out, you still are as not understanding and not willing to admit your mistakes willingly w/o getting angry and not able to accept it when i tell you the truth or when i tell you when you made a mistake, then what makes of this time out? that’s what i’m afraid of. i’m not trying to say everything is all your fault. i am at fault too. but this is what your faults are. and if you’re never going to change that of you, i don’t think even how long a time out can help us. if u can accept and learn and actually make an effort to change for the better each time a misunderstanding or a fight is going to happen, we then can work out. if not it’s just going to be the same all over again.

i don't want just lip service this time, i want actions to prove yourself. and you changing and never doing the same old shit again.

if we end up being the same as before the time out after the one month it’s going to be as hurtful as you telling me that you’re leaving. or even more.