#or why Fitz is the best bf ever

[milequaritchsslut]

Fools gold

Based on the song “Fools gold” by Fitz and the Tantrums

Warnings: Arguing

Walking into your mauri pod with your bf you couldn’t see straight. You’ve been arguing non stop all week and you didn’t know why you just never saw eye to eye on anything and you couldn’t take it anymore. As you stood in your mauri pod with him both of you crossing your arms.

“I can’t do this anymore Teyam!” Putting your hands up in the air trying to get to ur point across but it seemed you just couldn’t get through that thick skull of his.

“You do Not mean that y/n” looking up at you trying not to raise his voice at you.

“All we do is fight Teyam I have tried my best to keep us together but I just can’t do this it’s too much!” You could feel your face heat up in anger but you just couldn’t do it anymore your heart couldn’t take anymore stress.

“So what your just gonna give up then? JUST GIVE UP ON US Y/N HUH?” As he stepped closer into you scrunching his face in anger he almost wanted to cry but he couldn’t, not in front of you.

“I AM NOT GIVING UP NETEYAM!” You couldn’t hold back anymore you wanted it to work but you guys just didn’t click.

“YES YOU ARE Y/N I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I CANNOT JUST LET YOU GO!” He really couldn’t you were the only woman in the clan he actaully payed attention too. He tried with other woman before you but it never worked out.

As you opened your mouth you felt a tear roll down your cheek. Quickly wiping it away in embarrassment you didn’t want to seem weak in front of him.

“I-it does not matter teyam we aren’t mated so we can leave whenever” you didn’t want to but you didn’t know what else to do you’ve heard of almost mated couples breaking about in the clan a few times it was uncommon but it wasn’t wrong. “Do not say that y/n I know you love me i know you love me” reaching out for your hand and putting it to his face hoping you would come to some kind of clear sense. Pulling his hands away you collected yourself trying to be stern.

“neteyam sully do not make this harder then it already is please” you begged looking into his eyes hoping he would just let you go and move on. But he couldn’t he would go to the ends of the earth to be with you to just kiss you just to be with you he loved you so much. More than you could’ve ever imagined.

“Fine then leave y/n, but I swear to you I will kill any man who try’s to court you I swear by that” moving his gaze down and walking past you. As he walked past you could feel his anger brush off of you. You didn’t want to end things like this but it was done there was nothing else you could do. Once you heard the curtain close as he left you dropped down to your knees putting your hands to your face as tears ran down your face like a rushing river. You loved him so much you knew nothing could ever change that but it was for the best you would get over him right?

[whyiask]

 okay, so. i don’t mean to rant, but can we, for one moment, talk about Agents of Shield, the framework arc? particularly Aida and Fitz?

Aida is downright abusive to him, she manipulates him and lies to him and brainwashes him to hate his closest friends. When he gets out of the framework and she becomes human, he immediately goes to her. Walks up to her, willingly. Because in the framework, he loved her. He loved her in the same way he loves Simmons. Fitz is the kind of romantic person who devotes his heart and entire soul to the person he loves, and Aida took advantage of that, removing Jemma from the picture and inserting herself into his life. Like, m’am. what the fuck. It’s like she wrote a shitty fanfic for agents of shield AU with a self insert.

He devoted his entire being to her, because he loved her so much. Only to wake up into reality, still with all of his memories of two completely different lives, and Aida is right there with open arms. He knows the framework life wasn’t real, but he remembers it just as vividly as his real life. ALSO, side note: his life was probably the most different, out of everybody. He was a completely different person in the framework, so while everyone was dealing with living two lives, he was recovering from living as two opposite people. He spent so long loving Aida with all of his being, and he doesn’t know what to do without her, just like he doesn’t know what to do whenever Simmons goes missing in the show. He is supposed to have one rock, one soulmate, one person he devotes everything to, but now he has two. 

He suddenly has a rush of memories, he recalls just how she manipulated him and encouraged him to perform more and more horrific acts in her name. But he still loves her. Because Leopold Fitz loves with every fiber of his being and that love doesn’t go away overnight. So he goes to her. He walks up to her and May tells him to move out of the way so that she can shoot her, but he doesn’t. He walks right up to Aida, because he spent so long depending on her for everything- she was his rock. Even worse, once she kidnaps him and he starts talking to her alone, he starts accusing her of doing all the things she did. Perfectly fair accusations, completely true. Everything he accuses her of is true. And then- THEN. what does she say? “Every choice you made was your own.” OH PLEASE AIDA. DON’T EVEN TRY TO PIN THIS ON FITZ. He wasn’t the one LYING and TRICKING his significant other.

BUT WAIT. THERE’S MORE. Fitz is super open and honest with Aida, even after he remembers everything she did, and he does try to help her. He convinces her to help his friends, and she does. After Jemma shoots her and fitz with the icer and they are locked in a teleport-safe room, Fitz is trying to have a natural conversation with her. He recognizes that she is a human being now, not just a robot, and he attempts to help her through her emotions, DESPITE BEING HIN INNER TURMOIL HIMSELF. Fitz is out here, encouraging Aida and telling her the team could probably one day forgive her, whereas she doesn’t even fucking NOTICE the self-hatred he is going through. Fitz genuinely hates himself for what he did in the framework, and he feels like he is not capable of being loved. After everything the teams has been through, despite Coulson telling him he’s not at fault, he still believes this is the line. This is the point where the team hates him, because he hates himself so much and he can’t see how anyone else would feel differently.

He is open with her, and he talks to her. She tries to comfort him, saying “I understand how deeply you love.” He is happy that she seems to accept him, accept that he loves Jemma Simmons, always has and always will. She, on the other hand, thinks he is talking about her, rather than Jemma. When Fitz says, “I only have room in my heart for her,” Aida fUCKING LOSES IT. SHE LITERALLY SCREAMS AT HIM AND GRABS HIS SHOULDERS. Aida makes him FLINCH away from her. He is fucking scared of her, because she is so angry that Fitz doesn’t love her back.

“I chose you, so you have to choose me.” No, sis, that’s not how it works! This is the real world, wake up. Fitz tries to tell her this but she gets even angrier. SHE FUCKING SLAMS HIM INTO A WALL. SHE THROWS THE MAN SHE SUPPOSEDLY ‘LOVES’ INTO A WALL OUT OF ANGER, AND STILL EXPECTS HIM TO LOVE HER BACK. she is fucking insane.

AND THEN. SHE FUCKING TRIES TO GRAB HIM AND TELEPORT AWAY. “We’ll build a life together whether you want to or not.” SIS. MA’AM. NO. THAT IS NOT OKAY. CAN’T SHE SEE HOW UPSET HE IS? HOW VISIBLY SHAKEN AND SCARED HE IS? CAN’T SHE SEE HOW HE IS SHRINKING AWAY FROM HER AND TRYING TO ESCAPE THE ROOM?

When she can’t teleport away, she sees the devices that Fitz designed to trap teleporters. It essentially makes them stuck in the space, unable to teleport away. She gets so angry and he literally runs away from her? He runs into the transport containment box and locks the door. Because he can’t be in the same room as her. When Piper and Davis come to rescue him from the room, Davis has to hold Fitz and point a gun at Aida while backing away. Piper literally tells him, “You’re lucky she didn’t kill you.” AND PIPER IS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. IF JEMMA HADN’T BEEN WATCHING ON THE MONITERS AND SEEN AIDA BLOW UP LIKE THAT, SHE COULD’VE- WOULD’VE- KILLED FITZ.

AND THEN GUESS WHAT HAPPENS!!! I BET YOU COULDN’T FUCKING GUESS. SHE ESCAPES THE CONTAINMENT CELL AND HUNTS HIM DOWN. HE IS RUNNING THROUGH THE BASE, AND EVERYONE IS TRYING TO PROTECT HIM, BECAUSE THEY KNOW HE IS ALL SHE WANTS!!! SHE IS FUCKING HUNTING HIM, LEAVING A TRAIL OF BODIES, BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO KIDNAP HIM AND BRAINWASH HIM AGAIN INTO LOVING HER BACK. WHAT. THE. FUCK. CONTROLLING GIRLFRIEND MUCH???

MY GOD. the point is, she was a manipulative and abusive girlfriend and absolutely is a lunatic and did not deserve fitz.

TL;DR: Aida is a bad girlfriend.

[plum-pudding-and-honey]

MONTHLY RANGE : Eight & Charley

Storm Warning - 3.5/5 : the plot is not the best thing I've ever seen but it's still a good introduction story for Eight on audio and to be fair it just made me want to drop everything and hop after him. I like Charley's background but I really just can't stand her. I don't hate her, she's interesting and I totally understand that people love her but I've never really warmed up to her. I also have a problem with the "classic" format : 4 episodes of 20-30 minutes which, sure, allows the writers to give the story and the characters more development, but which I find particularly long. I just find it very hard to focus for two hours, unless the story is very compelling

Sword of Orion - 3/5 : (god this is loooong) The atmosphere was interesting, so was Deeva (although I thought her being an android was quite obvious but wtv). The other side characters were all quite boring though and I couldn't bring myself to care about them. The android/human war was also an interesting point, it's a shame it didn't get developed more than that

The Stones of Venice - 1.5/5 : Oh my God do I hate this. Two hours which felt more like six hours of whining and complaining and "Estella, my beloved, forgive me here" and in the end, I'm not even sure whether I want to kill the Duke or myself. Just... zero empathy for this guy and Estella. Pietro was a bit more interesting although fish gondoliers who have evolved to survive the sinking of the city? Really? No. (Not just because evolution doesn't happen over a hundred years. Try a million.) Churchwell was equally annoying (I mean, as a librarian, I'm all for art preservation but have some decency here man) and the cult, well I've got no opinion whatsoever on them, that's how useless they are in all of this. The only thing that kinda made this thing worthwhile was this bit of conversation between the Doctor, Charley and that gondolier guy about the Duke waiting a hundred years for Estella and how Charley points out how long it is waiting for someone to return and how Eight DID wait a hundred years before seeing Fitz again and I'm not okay about this (and this was released shortly after Escape Velocity was published so I'm definitely gonna take this as a Fitz reference fight me on this)

Minuet in Hell - 3/5 : The Doctor being imprisoned and amnesiac for 3/4 of the episode was very looong. I liked the interactions with Gideon Crane but since the viewer already knows which one is the real Doctor, I really didn't see the point of making this last for so long. Also it robbed us of more Eight/Brig time and that's a shame. And those American accents are just horrible, I couldn't understand most of what Dale and the Senator were saying. The vilains and the Psi (psy?) machine were kinda interesting (although they also sounded pretty annoying) but in two hours and a half, they really could have been developed a bit more. Same goes for Becky Lee and her supernatural hunter gig that was way underused. The Brigadier is a huge asset, let's be honest. And the EDAs are canon in the BF universe, so that's that. (yes there was a Fitz reference in The Stones of Venice, I will not shut up)

Invaders from Mars - 2/5 : I love the idea behind this episode : the panic caused by Orson Welles' reading of the War of the Worlds, a false invasion in fact hiding a real invasion. It could have been great. But it's not. First, those accents and voices, again NO. For a medium that relies only on sounds, it's  really a big issue here (I mean how are you supposed to take the alien invaders seriously with those voices???). Mark Gatiss loves the Ice Warriors and we've seen with the Empress of Mars that he can write decent episodes with them so why didn't he use them here? It could have been so creepy (which, for a Halloween episode, would have been neat). Instead he gives us a cheap version of invaders, a nazi guy, Russians and an atomic bomb, and mobsters. And it's too much, it's too confusing, it's too many characters. It's a mess. The Doctor is adorable playing private detective but then he accidentally reveals his plan to the bad guys (I mean...) and the aliens are killed by the Russian guy everybody thought to be dead and his atomic bomb : no, that's bullshit. Also, bury your gays : totally gratuitous and unnecessary (what was even the point?). Yeah, huge disappointment.

The Chimes of Midnight - 6/5 : cHriStmAs wOuLdN't bE cHriStmAs wiThOuT oNe oF mY pLuM puDdiNgS (tfbgvfgtv) Finally something GOOD. Eight is at his best sassfull self, the different parts are well articulated, it's funny and creepy at the same time and the paradox surrounding Charley is well exploited. Robert Shearman even succeeded in making me care about Charley. Edith is touching, even the other characters are, and that ending is really nicely done and coherent. I also really like how Eight is depicted here, especially in his relationship to Charley (and his companions in general). He really cares about her and yet he doesn't tell her the truth, he's been lying to her ever since Storm Warning because he selfishly hopes that if he doesn't speak about it, it's all gonna go away, just like he will do later with Lucie and her auntie Pat and that's Eight in all his glory : he loves his companions but he's got this kind of superiority complex that makes him think he knows better than them and which makes him treat them like shit more often than not (and ok, Charley gets a lot of crap from him). They are all aware of that, as we are, and yet they still love him and we still love him and I don't even know why.

Seasons of Fear - 3.5/5 : The format was interesting, the change of scenery for each episode really helped to not lose interest in the story. I also liked Grayle, he's an interesting villain but the immortality thing could have been handled a bit better in my opinion, especially the losing your loved ones part. I actually liked Charley there and her varied suggestions to get rid of Grayle. The mystery around her thickens and I did not remember that ending! The Nimons were a bit unexpected but ok I guess. But I found the conclusion very disappointing, too easy.

Embrace the Darkness - 4/5 : I love the atmosphere of this one, especially the beginning : the "something touches you in the dark and you realise it's not your friend" trope is classic but the audio only aspect of the thing gives it something more (especially of you listen to it in the dark). Like the previous one, I liked the pace (it didn't feel like this thing would never end which is something worth mentioning). The fact that there aren't too many characters also helps a lot. And I can't help myself to compare it with Sword of Orion : the settings are similar, it's a huis-clos, and they're both written by Nick Briggs. I find Embrace the Darkness much better, the characters are actually likeable (and they all don't die at the end, quite the opposite) and interesting. The Cimmerians were also nicely done and I really liked how different senses are brought into focus here, how the viewer is brought closer to the characters because they can't see. Hearing becomes central then but taste and touch are also prominent (I especially liked the way the Cimmerians share their history with the Doctor and Charley). The Doctor is well-written (I love his "conversations" with Rosum) and this tendency to self pity himself every time he makes a mistake is very Eight (Orbis). 

The Time of the Daleks -  2.5/5 : The first part was good. And then it got so confusing, I actually lost the plot several times because my mind kept drifting away. There are way too many comings and goings through those portals, too many side characters that weren't interesting in the least. Learman's motivations as a villain are ridiculous (she wants to kill Shakespeare to be the only one who remembers him because everyone else is too stupid to understand his works... yeah, right).

Neverland -  4.5/5 : Zagreus sits inside your head, Zagreus lives among the dead, Zagreus sees you in your bed and eats you when you're sleeping (sorry I had to put it). So … yeah, that was breath-taking. That was an amazing conclusion for Charley's arc, the neverpeople are pretty cool and Romana and Rassillon are a nice little treat. The plot is coherent and the two hours and a half passed very quickly which is always worth mentioning. About Eight and Charley, now. As I said, I'm not a fan of Charley : I find her too perfect (and I just can't stand how she speaks, I know it's kinda shallow but when her voice is the only thing you get out of her, that becomes kind of a big deal) and I really don't ship her with Eight (although I recognise that they might be romantically involved, a lot like Ten and Rose, I simply choose to not see it). That being said, I liked how she stood up to the Doctor at the beginning, how she called him out on his bullshit ("Happy Birthday, Charley! Happy Birthday, he says. Only it isn't my birthday. It isn't my birthday because I'm not supposed to have any more birthdays") and used the TARDIS against him. I also liked her comparison with Peter Pan because, yeah, that's the Doctor, she gets it. I understand why she asked him to shoot her at the end but I don't think she was fair asking him to do it because she knows, everybody knows, that he won't do it. He won't do it for someone he despises, so Charley? Nope. And yeah, her dying was the obvious solution, I get that,  but that's the epitome of everything I don't like about her. Charley Pollard, always making the right decision even if it means sacrificing herself, Charley Pollard always nice and caring and clever and adventurous, and in a way she reminds me of Rose (although Rose was a jerk to Mickey) and I hate Rose. As for the Doctor... Finally he gets the consequences of his actions and yet you can't help but feel sorry for him. Because like Charley said he’s sweet and he truly thinks what he’s doing is good. And that cliff-hanger! I AM BECOME ZAGREUS! YES BABY. In conclusion, it’s a great episode, regardless of my feelings towards Charley

Zagreus -  4/5 : Let's be honest, the first time I listened to it, I hated it with all my guts (and I also fell asleep at some point in the middle), so I wasn't really looking forward to giving it another chance. But I'm glad I did. This time I really took the time to listen to it properly and knowing roughly where this was going, I loved it? I mean ok, this thing is more than three hours (not gonna lie, this was really difficult for me) and it's completely bonkers and WTF but there IS a certain coherence to the thing that I hadn't picked on the first time I listened to it. So, let's start with the obvious : Zagreus/the Doctor/Paul McGann giving us the performance of his life. He's GREAT and if I didn't already love him I would certainly after this. He's creepy and disturbing as Zagreus (he slapped Charley!!) and his voice when he's the Doctor, when he begs Charley to kill him ... yeah, I was dying inside there. By the way, I liked the parallel with Neverland and Charley begging the Doctor to kill her, except that she actually does it. The Brigadier/TARDIS was equally brilliant. I got a lot of the Doctor's Wife vibes here - except that the TARDIS is evil and HATES the companions, and her conversation with the Doctor, her fit of jealousy was brilliantly done. I also loved the bits with Five, Six and Seven (except it's not really them but it actually is) and they were hilarious when they're working together towards the end (Tweedledee, Tweedledum and Tweedle-ego). It was a nice hommage to Alice in Wonderland, coherent until the end (and let's be honest the bit with Schrodinger's cat only it's the Doctor who is in the box? Brilliant. Again.) And as an anniversary episode, it worked for me. I probably didn't get all the references but I picked up a few of them and it was nice to include the BF cast, even if it wasn't in their usual roles.

Overall opinion : This is not as bad as I remembered. I postponed relistening to these for a long time because I remembered it way worse than it actually is (in my defence, I listened to those episode some 8 years ago when my English wasn't so fluent). I still don't like the classic format because most of the episodes feel reaaaaally long and I'm not a fan of Charley. I did like her arc though, it was interesting to  explore the fixed in time events and the consequences of the Doctor kicking the laws of time in the nuts, way before Ten. The resolution of this arc was also brilliant in my opinion with the anti-time and the Time Lords/Rassillon mythology. The quality is fluctuant : the Stones of Venice, Invaders from Mars and the Time of the Daleks being the bottom of the barrel while the Chimes of Midnight, Embrace the Darkness and Neverland/Zagreus are amazing. And Eight changes so much through his life : he's so hopeful and sweet and utterly optimistic, a drastic difference from the Time War series (which I just finished before listening to this) where, although his core qualities are still there, deep down, he's lost so much and been through so much crap from everyone. I don't know if any other Doctor went through that much (War Doctor excluded) tbh. His relationship to his companions is also quite unique I think, maybe I'll write something about that one day. Now for the Divergent Universe arc, which I don't remember fondly either. Let's see if I change my mind as well.

[johannesviii]

Just wanted to say that all your Big Finish reviews for Eight’s stories with Charley and Lucie we’re SUPER helpful to me when I first started listening to BF earlier this year!! Eight is now one of my favorite Doctors and I love your artwork of all his stories so much!! So I thought you’d be the best to ask this: if I just read a few EDAs, which would you recommend as the best?

Heyyy you’re welcome! It’s time for a new version of a rec list I made around the time I was reading The Blue Angel (= a while ago). Here are my 9 favorites among the 55 books I’ve already read!

(I’ve been stuck on Book of the Still for about ten months because 2019 has been complicated for me so far)

Vampire Science

Standalone? - YES

Required reading? - None

Quick summary - Modern vampires try to coexist with humans while some others just want to declare war on them. UNIT decides to intervene and kind of makes things worse.

Why is it good? - This book defined how to write Eight, basically, and don’t let the summary fool you, it’s very funny. Also, vampire squirrels.

Alien Bodies

Standalone? - A metric ton of references, but still readable without getting all of them, so let’s say YES

Required reading? - None

Quick summary - Some strange individuals representing different alien powers are invited to an auction in the middle of a rainforest. Apparently, they are bidding for some kind of weapon that could be used in some kind of, hmm, temporal War. Probably nothing to worry about, right?

Why is it good? - This book has so many amazing concepts and ideas that it has been pillaged by the new series, and you can find bits of its legacy in The Impossible Astronaut, The End of Time, The Pandorica Opens, The Name of the Doctor, The Doctor’s Wife and more.

Seeing I

Standalone? - NO (but still understandable out of context)

Required reading? - Vampire Science, Genocide, Longest Day, Dreamstone Moon

Quick summary - After being separated from Sam in Longest Day, the Doctor is looking for her on the planet Ha’olam. It… doesn’t go well. Meanwhile, Sam tries to rebuild her life, far away from home.

Why is it good? - THIS BOOK HURTS LIKE HELL but it‘s a very good and important book for Sam as well as Eight. It’s a great character study, and you’ll even manage to get a couple of laughs among all the pain of the first three quarters of the book. And the ending is wonderful.

The Scarlet Empress

Standalone? - YES (despite Iris referencing old episodes and stories)

Required reading? - None

Quick summary - The Doctor, Sam and Iris Wildthyme embark on an epic quest to dethrone the evil Scarlet Empress of the planet Hyspero. There’s magic and wonderful imagery everywhere.

Why is it good? - It’s a story about the power of stories and gets meta without being annoying. This book is one of the most joyful things I’ve ever read and if it doesn’t put a big happy smile on your face we definitely don’t like the same things.

Unnatural History

Standalone? - NO. NO. DEFINITELY NOT.

Required reading? - Vampire Science, Genocide, Alien Bodies, Longest Day, Dreamstone Moon, Seeing I, The Taint, Revolution Man, Dominion. Also you’ll need to have watched the TV movie.

Quick summary - The Doctor, Fitz and a version of Sam who never met them try to repair cracks in the fabric of reality in San Francisco. Someone wants to exploit the damage instead.

Why is it good? - Just like Alien Bodies, it’s full of great concepts and ideas that the new series has pillaged - both the entire arc of Series 5 and The Name of the Doctor, for example, owe something to this book. Also it allows everything to be canon at the same time, which is fantastic.

The Turing Test

Standalone? - YES. You just need to know the Doctor is stuck on Earth with a damaged TARDIS, and lost his memories after destroying Gallifrey.

Required reading? - None, really, but I recommend reading The Burning anyway.

Quick summary - The Doctor is stuck on Earth during WW2 and works with Alan Turing to break a mysterious new cipher. It only raises more questions once it’s cracked.

Why is it good? - The central question of the story is “what does it mean to be human?” and it really digs into it. It’s also told by three different narrators with completely different points of view and who know very little about the Doctor. And it will destroy your heart. In various ways.

The Year of Intelligent Tigers

Standalone? - YES. Mostly.

Required reading? - None. You just need to know the Doctor has spent a century stuck on Earth and has recently reunited with his friend Fitz just before meeting Anji.

Quick summary - Team TARDIS spends quite some time on a planet full of musicians and strange alien creatures which look exactly like tigers from Earth.

Why is it good? - It’s a book about identity, and difference, and music, it has some of the best worldbuilding ever put in the series, chapters ordered like an opera, great characters, top quality escapism - I can’t list everything, and it’s my favorite EDA so far.

The City of the Dead

Standalone? - YES

Required reading? - None

Quick summary - The Doctor has recurring nightmares where some sort of void is chasing him, and team TARDIS tries to solve a strange murder in New Orleans. If that sounds weird, it gets weirder.

Why is it good? - It’s almost a Clive Barker novel, it’s full of strange and creative characters, and the murder mystery has a great resolution. And most importantly, it’s funny as hell even when it gets very dark. Maybe my second favorite? idk

Anachrophobia

Standalone? - Yes? No? Maybe? There’s an important plot point from Henrietta Street in it. Let’s say NO

Required reading? - The Adventuress of Henrietta Street

Quick summary - Experimental time-traveling goes very, very wrong very, very fast.

Why is it good? - It terrified me and I’m recommending it just so that more people can share my pain.

[rassilon-imprimatur]

A Rag and a Bone

As some of you saw, I found one of my “lost” Doctor Who holy grails, Daniel O’Mahony’s A Rag and a Bone! I’d been hunting high and low for this piece of fiction because the idea of O’Mahony writing a Sabbath-centric story was too good. There was literally no information whatsoever online as to what the story was actually about, but I love O’Mahony’s writing and the idea of him tackling Sabbath seemed like a match made in hell.

Finally getting a hold of this story, I must say that calling it “a Sabbath story by Daniel O’Mahony” is incredibly disingenuous, and while I dissect this story and share it all with you, I have to be completely honest and say that I have never been more confused at such a short piece of fiction in my life. Delighted, mind, but very confused. 

This story was published in 2003′s Myth Makers Essentials, the famous fanzine’s special 40th anniversary celebration. Myth Makers has been rather a white whale of mine, most long out of print issues holding onto other holy grails, most notably Parkin’s Saldaamir and The School of Doom. 

This story is more than a Sabbath tale, being a celebration of Doctor Who’s history, the history of the humans who keep Doctor Who going, as well as a celebration of the 2003 BBC prose continuity that, for all intents and purposes, was the Doctor Who at the time alongside Big Finish’s 1999-2003 years.

It’s also written by one of the closest things Doctor Who has ever had to Clive Barker, meaning that it’s a very disturbing celebration. 

O’Mahony introduces his story with a discussion of what he considers one of Doctor Who’s essential elements: 

In O’Mahony’s view of the series, Doctor Who is about humanity. Human history, ingenuity, sacrifice. Without humanity, Doctor Who is nothing. It’s a much more grounded view on the series, and while I’m not sure I quite agree with it, it makes literally every Doctor Who story O’Mahony has written make a lot more sense. 

I go into the story’s eccentricities and references (SO MANY REFERENCES GUYS, I’M SO HAPPY) under the cut. Reminder that a) O’Mahony, while a beautiful writer, is a very brutal one; his whole brand is painting objective horror and worldly ugliness in the richest, wine-like prose ever, and it’s definitely not for everyone, and b) this story, like Bidmead’s wonderful With All Awry, is far less literal than it is figurative. The continuity of the time is a factor in the story, but it’s rather useless to try and squeeze it in anywhere, that’s not it’s point. 

A Rag and a Bone is an author’s thesis on the spirit of Doctor Who, as well as a simultaneous criticism and celebration of its state in 2003, all the while managing to use Sabbath in the manner he was intended, rarely seen outside of Lawrence Miles’ writing. 

I’m not doing every passage of the thing, just the meatier ones. Enjoy and watch me stretch my English degree! 

(Note, the story starts in first-person from Fitz’s POV, shifts to weird surreal mix of Fitz and O’Mahony himself, back to Fitz, and then ends with third person omniscient.)

The story opens up simply enough (which, given what appears to be going on, it’s really funny to say “simply”): 

Already, this story seems to be following the beats of The Adventuress of Henrietta Street, the idea that in the universe without Time Lords, the universe is free game and humanity (led by Sabbath) needs to step up. But, it’s also a meta commentary. The passage is vague as to what’s really going on, but I think the war/looming disaster is something very specific, that I’ll touch on later. 

1) The date. Lmao. What could that possibly be a reference to?

2) Sabbath frequently had agents and allies throughout his novels, and one of these two, the Angel Maker, is actually from Lloyd Rose’s Camera Obscura. I don’t know if that gives an idea of the placement, or just further shows O’Mahony’s “I’m playing with current continuity” schtick. 

3) “Miss Kapoor went through the inevitable ritual struggle with her ideological opposite [...] We watched the catfight from the bar balcony - Bollywood Queen of Sin versus the [Angel Maker]...” Perhaps a smirking jab at the rules or sterotypes of storytelling? Set certain characters against the idealogical opposites. Anji often went toe-to-toe with the ideologies and beliefs of people in her novels, far more than Fitz or the Doctor did, so I think that’s what this is a nod to, wrapped in the story’s theme of ritual and symbolism and framed as “the Doctor’s female companion must face Sabbath’s female companion in a duel!!!!!!!” 

4) “... a dog-faced parahuman whose name I missed. He was the softest spoken of us all, fresh from the plane of the First Time War, resplendent in Gallifreyan scarlet.” This is Wardog (or a contemporary of Wardog), originally from Alan Moore’s DWM Black Sun Trilogy, portraying the First Time War. He had been recontexualized into Cold Fusion/The Infinity Doctors’ canon in Lance Parkin’s Executive Action, published in 2001′s Walking in Eternity, making him an (admittedly tangential) interesting cog in the EDA’s history and continuity. 

1) First time reading this passage, I couldn’t decide if this was purely Fitz or O’Mahony inserting himself into the narrative... and then I realized it’s both. There are two major critical takes on the companions, and this is the first: the role of the companions in the series is to give the audience someone to relate to and, in some cases, live vicariously through. Enjoying the adventure, experiencing the sights, etc. This section is both Fitz Kreiner and Daniel O’Mahony, trying to make sense of what’s going, while the story is already giving us the implications that, despite trying to create a narrative of the Doctor’s condition, he is actually not real. 

2) Marvel at Fitz dragging himself in every possible way. Maybe a reference to how the novels (since the VNAs) really hadn’t had any qualms with pushing the flaws and imperfections of their characters? O’Mahony in particular is a writer who would go into great detail about how flawed people were. 

3) “... Miss Kapoor - whose sins are much more scarlet than mine - wouldn’t stoop to.” I choose to believe this is a slight reference to how Anji was treating by some writers at the time. The EDA authors wither loved Anji, or hated and demonized her. I could be reaching with that one, but it doesn’t quite make much more sense otherwise. Maybe a reference to her earlier distrust and betrayals of the Doctor (such as in Mark Clapham’s Hope?)

1) This is why I think O’Mahony was attacking the negative handlings of Anji, because the description of her character in the first few sentences is so... good. Beautiful, caring. 

2) “The entropy rolling from the Deep...” I’m convinced that, in the end, the threat coming to destroy the universe, the stagnancy, the entropy, the “war,” is Doctor Who’s continued cancelation. Its the 40th anniversary, fourteen years since the show was cancelled, the series kept alive by a small and committed group of book readers and BF listeners (during BF’s early years). I’m adamant that the Wilderness Years produced some of the most creative and original Doctor Who ever, but it is very easy to see why people considered continuing the story a losing battle. More and more, the series slipped out of public consiousness and become more and more of an exclusive cult

3) The second critical take on companions in Doctor Who is a negative one (but one that needs to be said in some cases): in the end, they’re all interchangeable. None of their backstories or quirks matter in the end because they’re interchangeable stereotypes that need to stand their and ask the Doctor questions. What’s gorgeous about this sequence is how it tackles that idea in such a meta and independent way. Anji, realizing that she is, in fact, the latest face in a countless list, takes power from that. She reaches back to her predecessors and uses their abilities, their attributes, for her own agenda, all the while dressing as Anji Kapoor, praying to Ganesh as Anji Kapoor, being the unique and seperate entity that is Anji Kapoor. 

4) “Babewyns.” The Ma’lakh grotesques, the villains of The Adventuress of Henrietta Street and one of the major elements in Faction Paradox. 

This section operates on two levels, both fictionally and metafictionally. The idea that the Doctor is now a vacuum and Sabbath must either fix or flat-out replace him is the central conflict of their relationship and adversity throughout their novels. There’s also a pun on the EDAs’ “Earth arc” which was the start of the status quo that brought in Sabbath. But, you’ll notice, the “Earth arc” here is not The Burning... it’s An Unearthly Child. Sabbath’s (very morbid) take of what happened to the Doctor isn’t the plot of the EDAs, it’s the beginnings of Doctor Who. The Doctor became part of human consciousness in 1963!

So why is the Doctor now a puppet? A doll, an inhuman echo? Because the show is cancelled, and despite the series living on through, there’s this overwhelming feeling that maybe, just maybe, the final end is fast approaching. 

(Actually reading this theme in a story published two years before the show returned is rather nice, isn’t it?)

Sabbath’s take on this is, of course, negative and condescending, while Fitz focuses on the positivity of the Doctor. How he brings goodness and love into our lives, and that by “forgetting him,” (the show being cancelled) we’ve let horrible things into the world. That what Fitz is traveling with is the idea of the Doctor, the “totem” of what’s left, pushing through because Fitz/O’Mahony/the authors/the fans are still holding onto him. 

This section also shows how Sabbath really, in the end, cannot replace the Doctor. His best appearances outside Adventuress (Parkin’s Trading Futures and Rose’s Camera Obscura) stressed his limitedness, his flaws, his (debatable) inability to rise to the occasion. He talks to Fitz about power vacuums and the state of the universe, and then Fitz immediately confronts him with his antiquated 19th century beliefs and ideals. Lawrence Miles always claimed Sabbath was never meant to actually replace the Doctor, but several authors, including Lance Parkin, have since expressed that this was not common knowledge and that many authors fully believed Miles was trying to push Sabbath on them as “the new Doctor.” That’s what I think this is a response to (and mind, O’Mahony and Miles were colleagues and friends).

Here we see, we don’t need or want Sabbath. We just want our Doctor back. 

“Sometimes he believed that TV would save the world.” What a sad line, knowing the meaning of this story, huh? 

In the end of the story, Fitz and Anji rebuild their “Doctor-totem” from the junk of IM Foreman’s yard, literally using the ruins of the character’s humble 1963 beginnings to build the foundations. But remember, their Doctor is the Doctor of the novels. There’s more work to do to recreate their perception of him.

1) “Dawn Brigades of parahumans and the killer-cats of Gallifrey as they fought over the nature of the newborn universe.” Wardog’s Special Executive (representing the might and will of Rassilon) and the villains planned for the original story replaced by 1977′s The Invasion of Time (who I think here represent the Pythia), clashing during the universe’s minting (later known in Faction Paradox as the anchoring of the thread). This take on Gallifrey’s history (VNAs, EDAs, FP) is THE Gallifrey at the time of 2003. 

2) “Their tales would be told by the Needlefolk at the End of Time...” The Needle, seen in The Infinity Doctors, Unnatural History, Father Time, Miranda, and alluded to or contextual related to in Hope and The Gallifrey Chronicles. An important aspect of the lore at the time!

3) This ending is so beautiful, if sad. Here is where Fitz and Anji fully represent the Doctor Who fans and creators at the time. Using their stories, their (new) adventures to further coax their Doctor back to life. He’s built from the junk and refuse of the dead Classic series, he’s lavished with the stories and lore of the Wilderness Years. He is part of humanity, he’s in us, as long as he as friends (the fans) trying to keep him alive.  

[katesficnotes]

Uncharted Territory Characters

BETHANY “bet/s” BLOUNT (00) Status: Single Occupation: Relationship(s): Fitz Blount (son), Henry Pembroke (baby daddy)

FITZROY “fitz” BLOUNT (00) Status: Single Occupation: Relationship(s): Bethany Blount (mother), Henry Pembroke (father), Mary Pembroke (half-sister), Elizabeth Butler (unborn half-sister)

THOMAS “tom” BUTLER (00) Status: Married Occupation: Relationship(s): Elizabeth Butler (wife), Mary Butler, Anne Butler (daughters), George Butler (son), Elizabeth Butler (unborn granddaughter)

ELIZABETH “eliza” ARUNDEL BUTLER (00) Status: Married Occupation: Relationship(s): Thomas Butler (husband), Mary Butler, Anne Butler (daughters), George Butler (son) Elizabeth Butler (unborn granddaughter)

suffered two miscarriages between anne and george which made her esp overprotective

pr haughty but v proud and drills this into her kids

elizabeth: ‘i love all my children equally’ *earlier that day* ‘i don’t care for mary’

MARY BUTLER (27) Status: Single Occupation: Relationship(s): Thomas Butler (father), Elizabeth Butler (mother), Anne Butler (sister), George Butler (brother), Elizabeth Butler (unborn niece), Wilfred Stafford (best friend), Francis Leroy (ex-boyfriend)

her father wants her to marry walter which is at once an attraction and detraction re: walter tbh

her bff is in love w her

when she was 14 she became pregnant w 16yo francis’ baby, who had pressured her into sex

he then pressured her into having an abortion

anne went w her, francis abandoned her, just gave her money for it and cut ties entirely

only anne and george and francis know it ever happened

hasn’t really dealt so well w it tbh

occupation: family disappointment

ANNE BUTLER (26) Status: Engaged Occupation: Masters Student Relationship(s): Thomas Butler (father), Elizabeth Butler (mother), Mary Butler (sister), George Butler (brother), Percy North (fiancé), Elizabeth Butler (unborn daughter), Henry Pembroke (baby daddy), Joan Parker (best friend)

educated in a catholic convent

witty, refined, proud, vindictive, courageous, ineffable, kind, clever, ambitious, feisty, independent

her father wants her to be a lawyer but she’s not sure that’s what ~she wants

has her life super!!!! planned!!!!!

except that one glaring fork in the road and she’s v stressed and anxious thinking about what road she’ll take...

which is why she really doesn’t need anything else thrown in her path rn

decided not to loose her virginity until marriage when she saw how francis leroy treated her sister, esp when mary got pregnant

knew she wanted a different path!!!!!!

GEORGE “gee” BUTLER (23) Status: Single/secretly dating joan parker Occupation: Relationship(s): Thomas Butler (father), Elizabeth Butler (mother), Mary Butler, Anne Butler (sisters), Elizabeth Butler (unborn niece), Joan Parker (secret girlfriend)

WALTER CAREY (00) Status:  Occupation: Relationship(s): Thomas Butler (boss), Percy North (cousin)

BRANDON GREY (33) Status: Occupation: Relationship(s): 

FRANCIS LEROY (29) Status: Occupation: Relationship(s): 

PERCY NORTH (26) Status: Engaged Occupation: Relationship(s): Anne Butler (fiancée), Walter Carey (cousin)

so!!!! in love!!!! w anne!!!!!!

‘she amazes me’

so sweet

always remembers anniversaries and birthdays and does all the little important things a bf should

still can’t believe anne wants to be w him!!!!!!

got disinherited by his family bc he refused to give her up ‘as long as i know she wants me too there’s nothing i wouldn’t do’

has asthma...and anxiety

JOAN PARKER (22) Status: Single/secretly dating george butler Occupation: Relationship(s): 

HENRY PEMBROKE, SR. (00) Status: Occupation: Relationship(s): 

ELIZABETH PEMBROKE (00) Status: Deceased Occupation: Relationship(s): 

died in a car wreck w arthur

ARTHUR PEMBROKE (00) Status: Deceased Occupation: Relationship(s): 

MARGARET “meg” PEMBROKE (33) Status: Occupation: Relationship(s): 

HENRY “harry” PEMBROKE, JR. (31) Status: Occupation: Relationship(s): 

has probably written ‘mr anne butler’ in a notebook somewhere and doodled a heart around it tbh

ROSE “rosie” PEMBROKE (26) Status: Occupation: Relationship(s): George Butler????????

CATALINA “cat” PEMBROKE (32) Status: Occupation: Relationship(s): 

after her fiancé arthur’s death, she and his brother henry sought comfort in each other...

MARIA PEMBROKE (7?) Status: Occupation: Relationship(s): Henry Pembroke, Jr. (father), Catalina Pembroke (mother), Fitzroy Blount (half-brother), Elizabeth Butler (unborn half-sister)

WILSON “will” STAFFORD (00) Status: Occupation: Relationship(s): Mary Butler (best friend/interest)

JANE WOLFE (24) Status: Occupation: Relationship(s): 

[blunt-but-cautious]


1- What was the last dream you had?cant remember 
2- What color do you wear most?black
3- What are your every day shoes?uggs
4- Describe your school bag

Don't have one
5- Say ten facts about your room

It's a mess, it's turquoise,it's cold,it's small,has carpet,pictures on walls,I sleep in it,the closet is too small,it has a window,walls are white lmfao idk.
6- What is your favorite place to be in your house?my room
7- Where do you go most often? Prunedale 
8- If you are taking the train or subway where are you most likely going? Tahoe.
9- Where do you live?california
10- What is/are your nationality/ies? Im a mut there's a lot
11- What languages do you speak? English tiny bit of Spanish tiny bit of Italian.
12- What is your favorite place in the world? Haven't been to many places
13- Where would you often go as a child? Sacramento to visit my grandma. 
14- Do you have brothers and sisters?2 sisters 
15- Who do you live with?

Mom,dad, sister, her bf,dogs

Beliefs:
16- Are you religious? If so, what is your religion?not religious 
17- Do you believe in God?yes
18- Do you believe in any other form of supernatural being controlling the universe? If so, what do you call it? No
19- Do you believe in Satan?yes
20- Theory: why does the fridge light up when you open it? Do you think there is a creature turning the light on and then hiding? Tell us its story.

It's just so you could see what's inside jeez. 
21- Do you trust premonitions?yes
22- Do you trust dreams?yes
23- Do you think wishes can come true?yes
24- Tell us something you wished for that came true.

I can't tell you then it won't come true 
25- Do you believe in love at first sight?no
26- Do you believe in Santa?no
27- Do you believe things will get better?maybe
28- Do you believe in life after death?yes
29- Do you believe in yourself?sometimes
30- Something you believe in : our lives are planned

Preferences:
31- Black or white?Black
32- Hot or cold?hot
33- Day or night?night
34- Inside or outside?inside
35- High or low?Low
36- Tall or short people? Tall
37- Long hair or short hair (on you)?long
38- Lipgloss or lipstick?neither 
39- Eyeliner or eyeshadow? Eyeliner
40- Cats or dogs?dogs
41- Humans or animals?animals 
42- Facebook or Twitter?twitter
43- Tumblr or We❤️it?tumblr
44- Stairs or elevator/lift? Stairs
45- Nutella or Peanut Butter?peanut butter

Honesty time:
46- Ever gotten drunk?yes
47- Tell us the worst shit you’ve done.

Friend got drunk and we ended up wrecking his truck in a construction site & getting stuck somewhere and reported it stolen the next morning. 
48- Ever gotten naked for someone?yes
49- Ever dated someone way older than you?yes
50- Who is your tumblr crush?dont have one
51- What is your dream job/career?dont really have one
52- What turns you on? 🙈
53- Who turns you on?🙈
54- Tell us the story of your first kiss.

Lmfao I was scared and I made my bestfriend kiss my bf first 😂😂😂😂
55- Ever almost killed someone? No
56- What is your darkest secret? Can't tell ya. 
56- What question would you never answer? A lot
58- How many people have you been sexually attracted to? A couple 
59- Did you honestly see I turned the 57 into a second 56?no I didn't. 
60- What are you most ashamed of (tell us a embarrassing episode of your life)

lol lets not

Tumblr:
61- When did you join tumblr? In like the 5th grade 
62- Who is your favorite follower? Nowpe
63- Who is your favorite following?Nowpe
64- Did you make friends on tumblr? Who?No
65- Do you have irl friends on tumblr? Who?yes. A few
66- What was the first point of this blog when you created it? Uhhh i don't remember 
67- Do you like what it’s become?lol sure 
68- What are your favorite fandoms (that you’re part of or not)? I'm not 
69- What posts do you hate the most on here? Ppl advertising 
70- What is your most used tag? Don't use them 
71- Three urls for “fuck, marry, kill” what? Lol 
72- Followers you find beautiful (not just on the outside):idk anyone on here
73- How long do you stay on tumblr most of the time? Like an hour 
74- Shoutout to anyone you want :uhhhh
75- Who do you secretly stalk on here?🙈🙈🙈🙈

Music taste:
76- Favorite bands: LANY, real friends, story so far
77- Favorite artists: john Mayer, James bay, ed sheeran
79- Favorite albums: Make out EP-LANY
80- Favorite songs rn: anything by LANY

TV taste:
81- Favorite series:pretty little liars
82- Favorite characters: Hanna, Aria
83- Heroes or meanies? Heroes
84- Characters you ship: Hanna and Caleb. Aria and Fitz. 
85- Favorite fandom post:mmm idk

Movie taste:
86- Favorite movies of all time: chic flicks😂🤦🏼‍♀️
87- Favorite movies rn: don't really have any. 
88- Favorite characters: don't have any 
89- Do you believe in sequels? These questions suck
90- Characters you ship: 🤷🏼‍♀️

Youtube:
91- Most visited channel: The Ace Family. Tana Mongsau. 
92- Most viewed vid: idk....
93- Youtubers you like: tana mongeau, Anna Campbell, domo and Crissy. 
94- Youtubers you ship

Ace Family
95- Share your channel! No

Friends c:
96- Best friends names: Julia,Vanessa
97- Known them since

Julia since I was born and Vanessa since 2 weeks ago😂
98- One fun fact about each of them:

I met one at target & one races dirt bikes
99- Pros and cons: lol they're just like me. And they're busy all the time. 
100- Your biggest giggles about shit:

😂 everything

Physical portrait:
101- What is your natural hair color?blonde
102- What is your hair color?blonde
103- Eye color?blue
104- Height? 5'3
105- Shoe size?6 1/2 or 7. 
106- Ring size (if you know it)? 7 
107- Any tattoos?no 
108- Any piercings? 3 
109- Do you want a tattoo? If so, where?yes my rib.
110- Do you want a piercing? If so, where? 🙈

Chinese portrait:
111- If you were a color?turqouise 
112- If you were an animal?owl 
113- If you were a letter of the alphabet?O 
114- If you were a brand?idk
115- If you were a number?8
116- If you were a song? That's hard... 
117- If you were a piece of clothing? Jacket
118- If you were a movie? ??????? 
119- If you were an album? These are stupid 
120- If you were a part of the human body? Head
121- If you were a word? Cold
122- If you were lyrics? I don't phuckkkkin know
123- If you were a pair of shoes?uggs
124- If you were a non-existing animal? Idk 
125- If you were an object?idk
126- If you were a flower?idk
127- If you were an musician?idk
128- If you were a book?idk
129- If you were a painting?idk
130- If you were an actor?idk
131- If you were a god from Greek mythology?idk
132- If you were a Tim Burton character?idk
133- If you were a molecule?
134- If you were an equation?
135- If you were a famous quote?
136- If you were a play?
137- If you were a fictional character?
138- If you were a celebrity’s spouse or family member?
140- If you were a smiley?
141- If you were a wallpaper?
142- If you were a material?
143- If you were an instrument?
144- If you were an accessory?
145- If you were an insect?
146- If you were a sound?
147- If you were an accent?
148- If you were a day of the week?
149- If you were a month?
150- If you were a season?