#originally made these so I had an idea what to draw for self insert doodles GDHSJ those are just. silly. but they were fun

[lavenoon]

Cleaned up a ref sheet I did months ago, this is just what I picture when I draw

[babybinko]

My second batch of venture bros genderbends are finally done! :D [first set here]

PLEASE LOOK UNDER THE CUT!!! I made all these nice drawings and doodles of them and I want people to see them without this post being super long! :') [My thoughts on the designs and doodles will be under the cut as well]

Okay NOW I'm going talk about my thought process on some of these:

Baby Rusty: I love the baby Rusty, the frilly socks and sleeves were a must. I actually drew her with the original set of genderbends but I turned off her layer and forgot about her 💀

Jonas Jr: not much to say about her, I tried to make her like Rosie the Riveter. Her little bandana has the Venture logo on it :)

Jonas Sr: I wanted her to be a hot bitch, her outfit is maybe a little scandalous for the time era they were in but I think it fits, canon Jonas is a whore. I think everybody would want her and that every celebrity, politician, and anybody with any power would chase after her so badly.

Blue Morpho: I made her so incredibly slay. I fucking love her outfit, I found the inspo for the outfit on Pinterest but I changed it up a bit. Also her gun has the bayonetta butterfly wings on it as a charm because I HAD TO.

Colonel Gentleman: Not a lot to say, I wanted to give her like horse riding esque boots and I gave her a purple flower cause she likes the ladies. I know generally WLW flowers are Violets and Lavender but I wanted to draw a rose so, Purple rose compromise <3

Dr.Boyfriend 2: With my last round Dr.Boyfriend was the only one people had complaints with. I think people wished he was more Masculine and I agree but if I switched up the design too much it wouldn't look like Dr.Girlfriend. I hope giving him armor and making him look like a knight helped him look more masc. I made the sheer wings cross over his chest to make it look like it was holding up the shoulder armor. Also his guild book is insanely high quality because I was procrastinating drawing his armor.

Goofy and Goober (Watch and Ward): I think they ended up really cute, I tried to make their hair colors close to Doc and Jacksons since I heard they are supposed to be like their "main" self inserts. With Ward I had a really specific idea for her hair, I kept thinking about this haircut from my sims and had to do it. It might be hard to see but her ponytail holders have skull charms on them. I also purposely gave them both some sort of ponytail hairstyle so they would match but be slightly different :) (They are absolutely prank calling or trolling their clients on that phone btw)

Shoreleave: OH MY GOD I LOVE SHORELEAVE. I kept turning her folder back on just to keep looking at her when I was drawing the other characters. She is so captivating to me, she looks so soft and human. I want to take a bite out of her thigh. My biggest inspo for her was Cammy from Street Fighter, I felt like her dressing a bit skimpy works for her since canon Shoreleave kinda does. The girls out for the girls.

Alchemist: I love her design so much too. I wanted her to look like some kind of nun or priestess. She looks like if a Zelda fire temple was a person. I kinda gave her like a weird little hime cut under the hood. Also I put the Triad logo on all three of their designs (+ Triana).

Jefferson: Had a lot of fun with her, I didnt change her design much from canon though so there's not much to say. I did give her more flared pants though. Drawing her hair was a really fun change of pace, I very rarely get to draw textured hair.

College Rusty and Monarch Drawing: I love this one, Monarch turned out so hot dude. You can tell what character I like more LMFAO. I made rusty very obnoxious 80s while keeping the colors of the original college rusty outfit. Monarch kind of looks like postal dude but its fine because shes slay.

Hereditary Venture Family Dinner Drawing: This was one of the first drawings I started but the second to last one I finished. I wanted to draw the family doing something together but I think I really truly just wanted to draw Dermott again. 😭 Nobody has said anything if they noticed but I did give hatred the shirt from these edits. (I believe the one on the left is from reddit and the one on the right is by SquashFold on Twitter)

Dermott piercing Dean's ears drawing: Even though its messy its in the top 3 favorites I did, It was also the last one I did. I just love the idea of Dermott giving goth Dean at home ear piercings. At first I didn't know if I wanted to make Dermott giving her piercings at the mall where she works or at home but the mall idea was too much work for a last minute sketch. Dermott is so mean older sister who shoplifts and works at the mall.

Drug bathroom drawing: Another one of my favorites, its based off a specific deleted scene from Invisible Hand of Fate where Pete and Rusty talk at the bar but Pete comes out of the bathroom sniffling at the start. I love the way I drew Pete pushing the hair out of her face and both of their expressions.

Bdsm 21 drawing: Okay first of all, The little devil Monarch was so cute I was screaming, crying, and throwing up while drawing her. I fucking love her, shes the smallest part of the image but my favorite. I also am quite fond of the bdsm 21.

Quizgirls Pete and Billy: I tried looking up Vanna White dresses to base Pete's outfit off of but I couldn't find one that Pete would actually wear so I just had to make shit up. Billy's design is really basic but the bow in her hair is actually from one of my rejected main Billy genderbends.

Me and The Bestie: I put a lot of effort into this one for no reason. Literally the moment I saw Jonas in the problem machine I thought he should be made of like blue slime. When I was working on this I kept thinking about Momopatchi's Hatsune Microbe drawing so this Jonas was definitely inspired by that. I gave Jonas makeup because she was having a party movie night on gargantua and I felt like she would still have makeup on thats like completely fucked up and deteriorating on her face after many many years. Vendata's outfit was partially based on Marguerite Chapman's from Flight to Mars, never seen it but I was looking up old sci-fi movie costumes to work with and I thought it would look good :)

[numbuh424]

Hello! I really love your Death Note art!! Especially your blog header. I saw it and thought it was so cool how you copied the manga style!! Your posts about it say they're you're Death Note OC? Do you have anymore info you can share about them or previous posts about them? Are they a Death Note user? I'm really curious cause the art is so cool and I love reading about people's OCs. That's all, thanks for all the cool art you make!

Hello!! Thank you so much for enjoying my art 🙏 And thank you for asking about my OC! I've never really talked about her publicly before just cause I've never really... Made an OC before? So this ask made me really happy 🥹 I'll try to keep this short but it definitely won't be lol because I don't know when I'll ever get to talk about her again.

Years ago I had a plot stewing in my head for a story where Near shuts down the L successor program, steps down as L, and puts the title to rest. It takes place a year after the A-Kira story, which is around 10 years after Death Note's main story.

The idea was that someone began exposing Wammy's for their covered-up misdeeds and the fact that this is where successors of L were being raised. Because of that information being leaked, Wammy's House becomes unsafe for everyone in it.

OC talk under the cut 🙏

Apart from needing an antagonist who leaks all this information, I also needed a character who was there during the years Near wasn't to fill in the gaps for him and lead him to the culprit.

All the major information about her is here on this OC character profile I made a while back. Lee honestly began as a general persona/self-insert that I use whenever I want to draw myself. I still often use her as my persona when I make silly doodles and whatnot. However, as a Death Note OC, I've really lost control of her and she has just gone on to take a life of her own lol

Lee comes from Wammy's House and entered when she was 12, a lot later than the rest. She first arrived only months before L died and Near and Mello left to hunt Kira. Though gifted with photographic memory, she could never really make it into the successor program through that alone. Despite this, she dedicated her years at Wammy's to pursuing the title against all odds, only to come up short every single time until she finally graduated. Knowing she wasted years pursuing the title, she grew bitter towards L and the program and left the orphanage to pursue an art career like she originally wanted.

She became an art teacher and kept her distance from anything related to the crime/police/investigators. Unfortunately, as fate would have it (fate being me, the person controlling everything about her life), she became a witness to a crime where she used her skills to draw the culprit. Her sketch is what gets the man arrested and what causes the police to recruit her. Though she always said she'd abstain from detective work after wasting her time on it at Wammy's, she wants to be useful so she agrees to work part-time lowkey.

She doesn't like having the spotlight on her, as years of fighting for it in her youth have worn out her motivation for being seen. She keeps her past under lock and key and lies about it constantly, but her memory allows her to keep track of her lies easily.

Her role in the story is that her past identity (her real name and lived experiences) is stolen and used to frame her as the person leaking information about the orphanage - an "insider tells all" who wants to destroy L, Quillish Wammy, and the orphanage. Because Lee is so detached from her past, at first she lets the culprit just use her old identity. It's not her anymore, anyway, so why bother her about it? It's only when the culprit starts murdering people and throws her current identity under the bus that she starts sweating. There's a criminal investigation underway and she's their only suspect.

Near and his team know she's not behind any of this; they're really the only ones who know for sure because of his ties to Wammy's (it's kind of a reverse L and Light situation where he's sure it's not her but everyone else is out to get her lol). However, she can definitely help point them in the direction of the person who's behind it all.

The problem is Lee's animosity towards the L program extend to Near, who is the only L she really knows considering the real L died a few months after she arrived at the orphanage. Near tries to bring her on board for the case since she's the best lead they could possibly ask for, but because of her distaste towards L and the orphanage, she refuses to join at first. The culprit going one step further and framing her for murder is what pushes her to finally go with Near and his team because her life has fallen apart and the police are coming to get her.

She really doesn't wanna help L and joins mostly for self preservation. She kinda gets a kick out of the fact that she has information the world's greatest detective can't get from anyone else. It's childish of her, but what's Death Note without a bit of childishness.

Also, to answer your other question, she's not a Death Note user. I certainly intended for her to be back then (hence the art I made for her where she has the notebook) but the story I came up with has undergone dramatic changes since. She still very much works with pen and paper, just not in that way anymore lol

That's most of the basic information about her and her role in the story I may or may not ever write. I honestly have the broad strokes mapped out already, including the ending.

Spoilers (for a story that only exists in my head lol), Near has Wammy's House demolished and has a new institution built for the kids. The successor program is dissolved and he has Lee head the art department since she was already an art teacher before everything happened.

Thanks so much for asking about her 🙏

[winterline13-art]

Purity!

Shoutout to like one of my first OCs literally ever being Purity the Sheltie! Well decided sometime last year to revive her, then decided a month or two ago I'd finesse her design to something I like! So here she is, my girl! <3

She's a meteorologist who started livestreaming when Dr. Eggman would attack with his Badniks. With the help of various weather radar and camera sites around the continent, she was able to start helping folks have a pretty good idea of where the Badniks would come next.

Something something, story details I haven't decided on yet, and eventually she makes it into the Restoration doing the exact same thing for them on a much bigger scale!

She's fun! I like her :D

Some more doodles+ some of the oldest pieces I have on hand of her under the cut!

Purity is not Maria in the slightest but I always thought it was funny that they're so similar by complete accident. Mostly because when I made Purity, I was designing her after myself. And I happen to have blond hair and blue eyes and, at the time of first making Purity, my hair was kinda long WHEEZE. Just funny coincidence nothing more

The redesign I made about a year ago now!

What I think is the first digital drawing I ever made of Purity

Plus a few more old pieces I made right up until I retired her, shortly after the last piece.

Purity was always meant to be a Sonic OC, her original story was that her necklace (a gift from her grandmother) had transported her via Chaos Control from earth as a normal human girl, to Mobius as well. A Mobian. And she had to learn how to live in this new world away from her family and friends.

I don't really jive with the story anymore for a variety of reasons including but not limited to Purity's necklace being inspired by an IRL necklace I had in fact gotten from my grandmom, who I now have a weird relationship with. But yk it is what it is. I'm really happy with the story I'm working up for Pure now, since I'm really just kinda being silly and having fun. Cringe is dead, I'm gonna make my silly little Sonic self insert and I am gonna make her interact with the canon characters because it's just fun! Who cares if it's 'weird' it's just fun!!

Anyway my girl <3

[legodamianwayne]

BATMAN AND ROBIN 2023 #1 (Take 6 (yes))

(im not writing this as i go since ive already read the issue before. ill also be mentioning gotham war since this takes place during it (just a warning for spoilers!))

i just noticed the bat and robin on the cover! so cute

OH........(just noticed this too) that doesn't look good

look at them goofing off n having fun

this is cute but the way bruce acts here and in gotham war is so jarring its kinda funny

bruce in batman #137: can't stand my fake ass family

bruce in b&r: me and my son damian 🤗

bruce is in his "local dilf in the area" era rn

damian having talia's mannerism that bruce noticed is so <3

and here its confirmed that this takes place during gotham war. not sure how to feel about that

STILL INSANE OVER THIS baby first self insert fanfic

damian went from drawing hyper realistic gore vent art to anime eyes in the corner

i think it'd be fun if we see damian write more as the story goes on. like him daydreaming n doodling in class

wonder if theres any meaning with damian putting talia as a hero n bruce as a criminal here...or maybe its just a "totally original character do not steal" thing

you dont say bruce 🙄

"the last few years"?? pretty sure the events shown there all happened not even in 2 years since damian turned 14 around the start of the lazarus tournament

also why are alfred n talia not shown there? alfred's death has huge impact on damian (he literally hallucinated him) n talia was there as much as ra's

i dont like how damian looks here but that white connor should be a crime

"thats enough emotions for tonight father" [slams door]

i wonder why damian is staying with bruce tho (outside of making this book exist) didn't bruce n talia had a custody battle moment™ n damian's like "nah i have my own life (is literally 14)"

HELL YEAH MY BOY CAN COOK

he's quoting alfred ohhh im gonna sob

this is kinda embarrassing for bruce...like ur son is finally living with you again n he's the one up early cooking?? sir u better step up

aw he's making tea the way alfred did

*squints* did bruce get his hand back? thats a pretty normal looking hand to me

did damian's comment on it in batman #137 made bruce think "shit i cant give damian any ideas of getting a robot hand" n he just. magically grow it back

[GLASS SHATTERING SOUND]

gotham...heights? n. not gotham academy? no maps? no damian joining her dnd team?? no detective club finally hanging out with damian??

ik damian got expelled from gotham academy BUT. WHY

okay? whats the point if he's not going to the same school that his friend went to?

interesting how damian fantasize for a normal life in robin 2021 (with him liking the mundanity of shoujo manga) n now that bruce is offering him that he's rejecting it (or maybe he just rly don't like school which is. fair enough)

wellll just cuz we're not getting maps n the detective club doesn't mean damian's other friends arent showing up right? RIGHT? (maya plz come home)

THE ROBIN MOBILEEE it looks so ridiculous i love it

HOLD ON. DOES THIS CAR HAVE NO SEAT BELTS?? BRUCE UR LETTING THIS SLIDE?

ik that thing is rly loud too damian waking up the whole neighborhood here

not rumors abt the batfam fighting getting spread around?? this is so embarrassing omg

am i the only one getting gotham academy flashbacks here? with killer croc n the trio with the fox shark n bird masks

they're very comfortable with calling eachother father n son while in suits huh. ig everyone in gotham knows that batman is a dilf (who's beefing with his adult children) now

not much to say abt the rest: bruce got shot with something n now bats are attacking him

end thoughts: i hope with all the focus on animals here means that we're getting damian's pets back soon n that gotham war wont affect this book much since i rly want to see damian interact with his siblings again. also is it just me or does the day scenes looks very bright? saturated? it kinda hurts for me to read idk. the night scenes r pretty tho

next issue is damian's first day on his new school that is not gotham academy but im still excited for it! (coping)

bonus bestie corner

[marshiemonarch]

I may be wrong- but I'm pretty sure you are the only person who has a design made for the player without as well as with a vessel. Other's just leave them as the soul, so- I'm curious. What made you make a design for them?

Angel's design was actually heavily inspired by HUECYCLES's angel design. I thought the design was really cool so I wanted to make something similar to fill the void of what "the Player" would look like without it being a direct self-insert.

Also a full-body design was easier to work with than a little heart when it came to drawing them in silly scenarios. And I like drawing cute characters with floofy hair. Heart-souls don't have floofy hair, unfortunately.

Originally they had multiple eyes, similar to a throne angel, and I changed the wings and hair slightly to try and differentiate them a bit more. Though I still have a slight worry that they're too similar but I've gone too far to go back now I guess (It's fine Angel is too stupid to be as cool as the original)

Their design became much simpler once I started drawing them more often (comic/ask blog/silly doodles). If I had to draw those eye-rings and giant wings every time I might have lost my mind lol. I still draw the rings sometimes, but I typically default to four eyes when I do draw them.

Technically the little heart might have worked but I thought it was easier to be more expressive with a full body (though I have seen some very expressive hearts from other creators)

And they have been seen with their heart form but I have no idea how to explain that with words. It's like they take on that form when possessing Kris (and when they're ripped out of them)

(I forgot the wings in the Spamton comic but that's not important)

In short, I just wanted to draw a silly little guy in silly little scenarios with Kris and Co. I have a track record of making silly self-insert ocs so this was bound to happen in one way or another. Toby Fox just made it easier by making the player canonical to the story.

Tbh I never really expected it to blow up like it did but here we are lol

[kades-rp-lore-hell]

are you ready for a long-ass tangent? good, because i've decided it's time for me to tell you sylvan's entire development history as a character.

so, first and foremost, sylvan was not originally made to be a roleplay blog character. his original and primary purpose is to be a self insert guy i can draw kissing and/or hanging out with characters i like.

the character that eventually became sylvan was made... about 5 years ago, i think. maybe. and he was originally made to be a sword and shield self insert. he had a different design, though i never drew it. i made it in gacha life or something and lost the screenshot.

that's usually how i start designing characters. i open up gacha life and/or picrew and start dicking around until i end up with something i like that i can mess with more when i eventually draw the character. which i never did with galarian sylvan. his name was originally oliver, by the way.

anyway, from memory, i think he looked something like this.

do excuse the Slop, 'tis but a quick doodle.

i don't think i ever worked out much of a backstory for galarian sylvan. i didn't think about him for very long. he was kind of just... the sword and shield protagonist.

personality wise, i remember him being a guy who didn't talk very much, even when commanding his pokemon in battle. he was a very good battler, though. good enough to become champion. this is not a trait that stuck around.

anyway, galarian sylvan faded into the back of my mind eventually... until i played pokemon black. (cool kade fact: for some reason i played pokemon black and then pokemon white 2??? i don't know why i did that. it's not really relevant to this story.)

and i was like. hoo boy. i want to make a self insert guy i can draw kissing N. and THEN i was like wait a minute. don't i already have a pokemon guy i can recycle. i would kind of have to rework everything but idk i have a face and name to start with i guess.

but what do i make him wear. i contemplated this for a very long time. outfit design is not my strong suit. so i focused on backstory first.

in my first idea for his backstory, he was a team plasma member. he wasn't a normal grunt but i don't remember what was special about him. i didn't keep this idea for very long and don't remember most of the details, but whatever i had cooking i eventually decided "messed with canon too much."

so i tried something else. his second backstory is... closer to what he have now, but still some pretty notable differences.

so, he lived in lacunosa town, with parents who argued frequently and eventually split, his mom leaving after a big fight.

but sylvan (who was still called oliver by the way.) had something else going on. you see, he had this problem where he kept encountering legendary and mythical pokemon. like, at least once a year i think, some legendary pokemon, presumably including ones who aren't even unovan, would show up and just stare at him or something and then leave.

except one time he encountered a legendary pokemon who didn't just stare at him and leave. i think it was supposed to be either kyurem or one of the swords of justice. doesn't really matter. whoever it was became aggressive and attempted to attack him. pretty sure he got out uninjured.

and then, depending on which iteration of this backstory was currently in my head, he either left lacunosa town of his own accord or was sort of... exiled, i guess. either way, he thought of himself as dangerous to be around.

and then. uhhhhh. my memory of this backstory gets a lot fuzzier after that. i have a very vague little timeline i wrote out in the back of one of my sketchbooks at some point. apparently this version of sylvan had two exes? an ex girlfriend and an ex boyfriend. i only remember this version of him having an ex boyfriend and I don't remember what the ex girlfriend contributed to the story.

so, what i THINK happened next is that he moved to sinnoh with his boyfriend. but over time sylvan became very possessive over his boyfriend, who freaked out and abandoned him. or something like that. sylvan, unable to pay for the place they were living, proceeds to fuck off into the woods or some shit and live there.

so he lives in the woods for a little while. at this point he had grown to fear/hate humans and disown the title of human. and then one day he comes across an injured pokemon who he begrudgingly decides should be taken to the pokemon center.

on his way there he sees zekrom flying overhead and he thinks "oh god not this shit again." this leads into sylvan encountering N, and i don't remember many details beyond that, i don't think i thought about it much. i do remember that sylvan was afraid to fall in love with N because he worried that he would get all freaky possesive on him like he did with his ex.

pretty sure the "sylvan is weirdly yandere-adjacent" thing is one of the first things i got rid of in this backstory, lol. though he does still have a bit of a possessive/jealous streak, it's been toned down a whollleee lot. to the point where it hasn't even really come up on the roleplay blog i don't think. though there was a mmm event i was planning to do where it was a lot more appearent, but i ended up not doing it because i Didn't Want To.

ANYWAY. there isn't exactly any given point where the backstory i just described to you became the backstory he has now. just... over time, stuff got removed or changed or swapped out until we got here.

...but let's circle back to his clothing now, eh? because this whole time, i knew i didn't want his original outfit, but had no fuckin clue what he should wear now.

until i remembered this one time, a long time ago, before i even made galarian sylvan, i participated in an ask game on tumblr. someone made a post that was like "send me an ask with a character you like and i'll assign them an outfit from my pinterest board." so i gave them a character, and they gave me this:

ohoho, it's all coming together. i thought, "i can put these clothes on a character." and i did! i also used tiktok at the time, and i thought about a tiktok i had seen recently where someone talked about why they liked the pokemon cherrim. and i was like. "what if i give my guy a cherrim." and i did!and a cherry blossom theming to boot.

unfortunately, i still have the first drawing i ever did of sylvan's current design. which means unfortunately i will be showing it to you. this was made in the summer of 2022, i think.

i went through a few different eye shapes for him before i landed on how they look now. here are very quick doodles of two of his previous eye shapes:

fun fact he wasn't originally meant to have a deerling. i looked at deerling and was like "oh i could give him that— wait they aren't always pink. meh, i'll give him something else." and then i changed my mind at some point and I don't really remember why.

over time his eye shape kind of slowly morphed from the second one in that image to his current eye shape. here's an old picture where he's kind of in that process:

pretty sure most of the colors used in his design were color picked from pokemon he either had or was supposed to have at some point. though i couldn't tell you which ones are which, and some of them might have been color picked and then shifted slightly.

i think... if i were to remake his party today... it would be mostly the same, but he'd have a munna instead of a deerling. i mean, look at munna. that is a sylvan pokemon if there has ever been a sylvan pokemon.

and he did originally have a munna, in addition to the deerling and everyone else and also a shiny audino. but a little while after i made the roleplay blog, i retconned the munna and audino out of existence because i didn't do anything with them and wanted less characters to keep track of. a few months later i would finalize N's team for the blog and add his trainer card to the pinned, giving me six new pokemon to keep track of. whatever, me.

but if i redid his team now i'd replace sage with a munna because it fits him better, i like that he doesn't have a full party because he doesn't battle, and i like that all of his pokemon are from different regions. because he's been to many different regions. i guess giving him multiple unovan pokemon works because even though he's been to so many places he's still a unovan at heart, but idk.

if you ever wondered about sylvan's Triangles™ (his necklace and belt buckle), those are there because i like latias and latios. and i wanted to give my self insert something related to that. so, two little triangles in the color of mega latias and latios. yay.

anyway, his visual design has stayed mostly the same since this drawing. his hair has been simplified a bit though.

i don't remember at what point i gave him siblings. they just showed up in my brain at some point. i think that was after i changed sylvan's name to sylvan though, so let's talk about that.

so, as i've mentioned, sylvan was originally named oliver. at some point i decided that name didn't suit him. so i started looking for new names. it took a while, but there's not much of an interesting story to tell about it. it was just a lot of me browsing name websites.

i really liked florian, but that was taken by the male scarlet and violet protagonist. i was soooooo pissed about that.

briefly considered viorel, which would have been a funny name to pick since it's an anagram of oliver. but it didn't really suit him either. even less than oliver in fact.

anyway, eventually i ended up at sylven. that's not a typo. the issue here was that i did think the name fit his vibes, but i didn't actually like the name very much at first. i quickly learned that it had an alternate spelling, sylvan, which i liked the look of a little more.

so i was like. fuck it, sure. he's sylvan now. does he need a last name? i'll give him a last name. let's just throw the word cherry into google translate. yeaaaah, kirsche, that'll do. the name sylvan has grown on me quite a bit since, actually.

uhhh. OH, right, i was gonna talk about his family a little. there's not a lot to say about their development, i don't think. but they have gone through a few name changes themselves.

sylvan's mom went from holly to azalea

sylvan's dad doesn't necessarily have an old name that was ever canon, but he didn't have an Official™ name for a while. when i first made him in the sims i just hit the random button for a while until it gave me mason. it didn't fit the theme the rest of the family had but it was a fine placeholder name. eventually i gave him vernon.

sylvan's older brother was always oliver i think. for the funny.

sylvan's older younger sister (sister who is younger than sylvan but older than his other sister) went from poppy, to lilac after i realized poppy was taken, to laelia.

sylvan's youngest sister was fern for quite a while, before i noticed that all sylvan's family had names that were six letters long. so i gave her willow to fit that.

i THINK that's all my words finally. unless i think of more things to say later. if you read all this... why.

[maypop-the-dragon]

Self-Portrait, 2024-02-02

↓ Explanation and WIPs under the cut! ↓

The way I see myself has gone through various phases throughout the years, and lately I've been feeling some of those old ways of being resurface. I had the idea to create a "self-portrait" that includes several of my various "iterations" all posing together. I'll describe each thing in (roughly) chronological order.

The yellow blobs in the sky are hallucinations I used to have in the dark as a small child. I think they're related to my visual snow. I can still "summon" them sometimes if I have them on my mind. They're yellow, roughly square blobs with oblong black ovals for "eyes," resembling the flip-blocks from Super Mario World. They would sort of vibrate while seemingly moving toward me.

The background is meant to be a Minecraft snowy tundra. I am a long-time Minecraft player, and I have fond memories of snowy tundra biomes specifically for some reason. I am particularly nostalgic for the sound of breaking ice and the way the roses contrasted with the snow. I used to use the seed blank to build on MCPE, I once saw a "portal to mars" tutorial and tried to replicate it and that was on a snowy world, and I think I tried the 1.5 update on a snowy world. I feel attached to that one world for some reason. I remember there was a ravine with lapis. The silliest thing? I cared about the lapis even though I was playing in Creative Mode.

The cartoonish sleeping child is me as a child. Back in elementary school, I would draw comics a lot, and I was often a character in them. My art style at the time was influenced by Diary of a Wimpy Kid and later Big Nate. I only had access to lined paper, but I made the best of it by using the lines to measure out panels. They were each 4 lines tall, but I later changed it to 5 lines. Speaking of the comics I used to make, the new Mr. What-The is still in development.

The big green guy is an anthropomorphic "mullet dinsoaur." This long-haired long-neck boi was originally not anthro. I drew it and mullet dinosaurs kind of became my "thing" for a while, though I only managed to draw two! (I hadn't yet learned the efficient drawing techniques I know now) That character is still my profile picture on YouTube and some other platforms. At some point I would sometimes semi-involuntarily visualize myself as an anthropomorphic version if it. (This was before I decided to just actually be a furry.) Interestingly, I just remembered that I did the visualizing thing with Ord from Dragon Tales once when I cried as a small child.

The blue-gray Furret is based on a quick edit I once made of the official Furret artwork using the iOS Photos app. I also used a similar blue-gray Furret as an icon for my secret YouTube channel. When Furret Walk was popular, I had an intense Furret obsession phase. I would doodle Furret all the time, which also helped me get better at drawing fast and loose, and I still have my Furret plush. This obsession was so intense that I sometimes wished I could become a Furret and just be a wholesome creature. (Now that I think of it, I suppose I still prefer to be a wholesome creature.) I was even happy because of the specific appearance of the wrinkles on my cheeks when I smiled very wide. This phase was also when I discovered my desire to cuddle when I was doodling Furrets and drew two of them hugging and cried a lot about it.

The red, hovering, serpent-like creature is a self-insert character from an earlier concept of my website. It lives in space and its body is filled with a jelly substance that it can manipulate psychically to move its body. The scruff on its neck is an excess store of said substance, which is pushed out to extend limbs such as arms. It is actually a modified version of a similar creature I made up specifically to be easy and interesting to animate for music videos. That original creature was white and had no eyes or canonical home. Aside from that, it was the same.

The other... creature... is my current fursona. That's me, May. Me now. My character design draws inspiration from many sources that all call back to various aspects of myself and my past. You can see that it's aesthetically more feminine or androgynous than the mullet iteration, which is because I have since explored what gender expression I am most happy with a lot more. That applies to much of the design really. It’s much more intentionally constructed to represent who I want to be. I am a cute silly dragon now, rawr!!

After writing all that, I'm starting to think my personality really is just several mental illnesses in a trenchcoat.

WIPs

I heard of posting WIPs to prove you’re not an AI and I think that’s a neat idea so here you go... (The weenor is specifically planned because I don't usually draw characters with external genitalia. You can't even see the bulge in the final drawing, though. What a waste.)

[justgoji]

Tell me about Heron. Anything and everything. For as long as you want. All the lore. All the details in designing him. Please.

I can only show a handful of images from before the rewrite, so you may not hear everything from there because of personal reasons and/or privacy, but I’ll definitely try to explain as much of Heron post rewrite as I can after that.

Heron, along with Toby and Makarov, were the results of when I split one oc into three. It was weird, they were like brothers in spirit but were technically the same person in three stages of life but could also age independently and also shared each other’s memories it was a mess.

Heron’s outfit you see today was actually in the original story, but started out as part of a dream in a coma (Yes Heron got into a coma it was wild). In the dream was some kind of 3d rpg with gang versions of vocaloids utaus and fanloids, and when he woke up he made the outfit he had in the dream real so he could look just like the dream version of himself.

At some point I made a drawing of Heron if he was more edgy, and this is where the eyepatch and robot hand originated. I didn’t intend it to be canon at first, but my friends loved it so much that I made it canon. The reason for it was stupid though, one of my self inserts would go into the shared headspace of Heron, Toby, and Makarov, and fought them which resulted in them waking up in their new designs.

Ultimately I had enough of the plotholes, weird writing choices, and overall bad plot, so I decided to ditch the old story in favor of a rewritten story that made more sense, had fully original designs, and actually had a focus on my original characters instead of cameo characters like Hatsune Miku (yeah Hatsune Miku was the main character of my old story for like the last quarter of it). My friends got to choose which outfit Heron would wear in this new context, and they chose the dream outfit, which I think was a great choice.

As I drew him again and again and again, and had help from my mutual’s depictions of him, I got a better idea of his personality and how he would interact with other characters. Today he is pretty much a self insert I can have interact with vsynths, but even then I try not to go too far with projecting everything about me onto him like I did in the original story. Oh yeah, I also changed his design a bit again earlier this year to fit with how my doodles of him looked.

I think his zipper is the most misinterpreted part of his outfit by far. I’ve seen a lot of people draw it as a regular zipper, but it’s actually supposed to resemble those blocky holeless textured zippers by Reebok.

I imagine that the fingers on his robot hand have a resin-like shell that is semitransparent and flexible, with endoskeleton fingers underneath the exterior. Early on I thought about making them glow but I decided against it. Although some people have make his fingers glow which I’m completely fine with.

His clothing was inspired by Hatsune Miku and Kagamine Len. I think the influence is most noticeable with his pants and sleeves, but even then he looks fairly distinct from both of the referenced vocaloids.

His headphones were originally just generic gamer cat ear headphones, but I decided to make them more original and made the ears look more like real cat ears, although sometimes when I draw them they end up looking like dog or fox ears instead.

His hair was inspired by the crests of actual herons. I had a bit of trouble coming up with a good hair design but I’m very satisfied with the current product. Here are some scrapped hair designs that may or may not look familiar to you.

I imagine that Heron is a very emotional person, having strong outbursts and mood swings, which may be the result of him getting bullied constantly during his childhood. I think the biggest reason why he was a prime target may have been because of his timid nature. Speaking of childhood, here’s some doodles of what he looked like before he joined the vsynths.

How he became a synth in the story is unclear, but I imagine that it’s similar to how the phone guys in the Dayshift at Freddy’s series are created. People are sent to some sort of factory or facility where they are turned into phone guys, and something similar could be happening here. In the Memecenary Madness universe, all synths (vocaloids, utaus, fanloids, synthvs etc.) are implied to be robotic or made of technology that blurs the line between biological and artificial.

In the original story, Hatsune Miku and Heron have a strong connection to each other to the point that it’s basically fan fiction. But in the rewrite, it’s a lot more safe, with Heron being inspired by Miku to become a singer, and eventually getting to sing a few songs with Miku in person. They don’t talk much, but they definitely share some sort of wavelength, as they come up with similar thoughts and in rare cases become indistinguishable from one another. Here’s what Miku looks like in the rewrite btw.

So yeah, that’s pretty much all I can say about Heron right now. Feel free to ask me about my other characters, such as Dane Brook, Alex Cass, Big Iron etc.

Also I love fanart of my characters I’m begging you guys to make more

[graces-mindscape]

A Demon-Vamp side story; Truth/Conclusion.

My eyes flutter as my mind slowly comes back into consciousness. I groan as I try to sit up again, my body feeling like it weighed a hundred pounds. What happened? I rubbed the back of my neck as I sat up, trying to recall the last of the details. I had woken up this morning, like always..then it hit me like a bolder......we got attacked....the hellhounds! I ended up in Gabriel's house! It all came rushing back. I looked around the room; it seemed like I had fallen out of my chair. I noticed Gabriel cleaning something up in the kitchen, he soon took notice of me.

"Grace!!! Thank goodness you're awake!"

he set down a plate and came over to me, looking up and down as if examining me.

Nnnn.....urg, what happened?

"You passed out right after I gave you that drink." he replied

Oh.

I begin rubbing my sore head as Gabriel sighs.

"Grace...there's something I have to tell you." he said with a sad expression.

What is it? Why do you look like you're upset?

"......something happened in those woods. After you fought the hellhounds. Someone was standing beside you. I just happened to be flying by. I couldn't get a clear glimpse and the moment I got closer, they ran away. whoever he was...he saved your life. You know there's NO cure for a hellhound wound, and you know you should've died that night. And....in a way.... you did."

I look at him starting to get a little annoyed.

What are you talking about? You're not making any sense!

He sighs.

"What I'm trying to say is- ...Whoever that was, whatever his reason to save you, it wasn't just anyone."

he falls silent, the words so hard to say.

"Grace.....you've been turned into a vampire."

I froze. the words felt like lightning.

Wh-What...? But- It- That's impossible! I-It can't be...There's no such thing as-!

before I could finish, I noticed Gabriel looked a little offended.

S-Sorry. I didn't mean it like that.

"Grace, whether you like it or not, it is possible, and it did happen to you."

my heart started to feel like it was going a hundred miles an hour, my hands started to shake, my eyes frantically darted around this way and that. Gabriel grabbed my cheek and carefully turned my head to look at him.

"calm down..." he says softly "those are just your heightened senses kicking in"

I glare at him.

Heightened senses?? I grab his shirt, annoyed, as I start to yell

I already HAVE ADHD, how much MORE heightened do my senses need to be???

my anger slowly turns to sadness as a subtle but painful thought sets in.

I-If...I really AM a vampire, then that means that-.......that means I-.....tears begin to swell as I gasp

I-I'll have to-......Gabriel frowns with a sad look in his eyes right as he pulls me into a hug.

I-I'm scared Gabriel.... I don't want to hurt anyone...

"Hey....I know. Everything's going to be ok. I have a friend who has resources that will help you. You wont ever have to hurt anyone. I promise."

he smiles as he slowly lets go.

"Now, why don't you go wash up and get into a clean change of clothes?" he smells the air as he gives me a look of disgust.

"You reek of hellhound ash."

I look up at him a little sadly before nodding my head.

"There should be a few clean clothes in box in my closet leftover from my mom, one of those is bound to fit you."

Yeah......ok.

I get up and give him one last sad look as I walk to the bathroom, contemplating the news of my new reality.

--------

I've been getting a few small ideas for some mini demon-vamp, self-insert comics, but I had a feeling I should wrap up the previous comic I made first; I decided to write it out instead of drawing it because it does feel more like banter than anything really significant happening (and it would take awhile lol)

I'm not that good at writing, but hopefully it's ok ^^

I tried my best to stick to the main story's events while still keeping it different enough to be its own thing

As always, the original demon-vamp au is by @koko-doodle , so go check it out!

[elenasunshinemagazine]

There is a sense of comfort inside us

Everyone's comfort recipes may differ and even be passed on to another generation. For some, this is a delicious cake for a tea party with friends, for someone a book with a blanket or a favorite warm robe, and a movie.

Once you learn to connect with what helps you gain confidence, a sense of support, and peace of mind, living in this world will become much easier.

The feeling of comfort inside us is inextricably linked with individuality. That is why everyone can learn to achieve this feeling at any time.

The search for your true self is at the heart of finding inner comfort. What motivates you to move forward? What brings true satisfaction? What path have you taken? What did you learn? What do you like? It's funny, but some people eventually find comfort in things that previously upset them. Sweaters, backpacks, dishes, anything!

Know yourself

Constantly explore your own inner world. Find anchors that keep you firmly on the ground. Such an anchor, for example, can be a bright blanket, similar to the one you had as a child, or a large shell, similar to the one that your father found.

Just make a choice

If you find it particularly difficult to understand what you like, or the very idea of looking for incentives to move forward makes you irritated or afraid, just come up with it. Choose something. Close your eyes and imagine: "what animal (color, musician, flower, etc.) would I like to focus on, what do I like and what do I identify with? What do I want people to associate with?"

Sometimes the feeling of comfort is caused by special circumstances, and even when they change, this feeling remains with us. Someone begins to feel connected to the city as soon as the train pulls up to the station they need. From the outside, it may seem that people who are able to use this special feeling in everyday life are particularly advanced or flexible. The point is, however, that everyone has their own point of view on things and their own preferences. Each of us can be special.

Pencils

"Thanks to the eraser, forgiveness is possible." A simple pencil is indispensable for making lists and tables, drawing doodles, thin, medium, and thick lines, and solving mathematical problems.

Also for making notes in the margins of books and calendars, correcting recipes, planning budgets, and playing games — or it can just lie on the table: one type of pencil can be associated with comfort. Pencils are usually made of wood-a warm material that is pleasant to the touch or even to the tooth. Have you ever chewed on pencils or held back?

Many people put a pencil behind their ears or inserted it in their hair. many people, even in our computer age, associate them with their distant childhood and school years.

Where are you from?

The most obvious way to get to know yourself better is to study your history, the history of your people, and your family. This is not the easiest task, because, in the past, each of us has secrets, pain, and losses that we do not want to return to. Sometimes this web is so tangled that we can't say for sure where we belong in it. So it is with any thing-recognizing the origin, you increase both its value and the value of what you do using this thing. A clear awareness of where this or that thing comes from inspires a sense of comfort.

House Decoration

The lucky ones are those who have freedom. And it is also an absolute success when you have a house where you can collect collections, pin postcards and paint the walls in any color. The space we live in is a blank canvas on which we can Express our own experience and character. Some people have an innate sense of where an object should stand or a picture should hang. Try to make sure that people in your home, wherever they sit, sleep, and eat, everything you need is always at hand.

Add a touch of personality to the interior

Straw can take a variety of forms and, despite its simplicity, is a powerful generator of comfort. Straw accessories will help you neutralize even the most pompous interior and give you a feeling of freshness and warmth. Let it be a simple basket of logs, a straw hat, a trash can, pencil stands, etc. Trays are extremely important. They are also indispensable in the bathroom and in the kitchen — you can store different bottles and cans in them. Lamps are another key to comfort. Bars — instant comfort. Set up a table with drinks in your living room, put a tray, a bucket of ice, a bottle of liquor, and a small cutting Board-and in this place you will immediately want to stay for a long time.

House favorite

No wonder they say that a dog is a person's best friend. If you choose a few favorite animals among the amazing variety, they will become your anchor for life. Finding comfort through nature is the shortest way to it.

Postcards

In their boundless variety, postcards are the simplest and most original way to remind you of yourself and pay attention. Of course, now there are social networks, you can send a photo in a chat, but you will not be able to see the person's handwriting or use this card as a bookmark. If someone forgot a sweater at your home, then return it with a postcard.

Send a card to thank you for a delicious dinner, put it in your child's backpack before the exam, or send a funny picture to apologize for not being able to attend the meeting. You may not remember a friend's gift, but a card is something that will make you smile.

Radio

Radio is the most intimate source of information. Two voices, no distractions like makeup, appearance, cameras, or anything else that makes it difficult to focus on the main thing. Nothing beats the sound of a voice in your ears.

When you put an earpiece in your ear, you can feel the person. Such close communication is incredibly calming. The voice of someone's true self is the highest expression of sincerity. In this situation, you have to be yourself and not pretend. In addition, the radio is part of your personal space, whether it's the kitchen, car, or shower.

Needlework

It's cozy. You can devote time to hobbies at home, or you can gather with friends anywhere, and create over a cup of coffee and conversations. Hobbies give us a sense of incredible peace and comfort. And the result of your work is filled with warm energy and happiness.

https://elenasunshinemagazine.com/mental-health/there-is-a-sense-of-comfort-inside-us/

[trrickytickle]

Context on my last post (There's a lot to unpack. Trust me.) PART 1/IDK HOW MANY

My last post had no context as to what MPP was so now I'm going to tell you a story longer than any tickle fic- the story that lasted for years since its origins spanning from the fourth grade. Basically what you need to known is that My Pocket Princess was a franchise that I created which only me, my sister and our friend who moved to England know about with a seven year history. It related to how there was a princess for everything from sparkles to severed limbs. Some examples being Gem Flurry, princess of gems, and Pox Princess, princess of ....the chicken pox. Pretty much Adventure Time-y characters.

Origins

basically so me and my friends-

Wait no. Not friends.

AGENTS.

In the 3rd grade, We were super spies from Spychlo, a top organization of secret agents ready to stop the evil SPYBOX. In short, we were really imaginative kids. Me and my sister were both agents and she bought this spy handbook with actual CIA tips for our endeavors. But Spybox wanted their grubby box hands on it, so innovative little me who was in charge of the book decided "HEY THIS NEEDS A DISGUISE." so I ripped the covers off and started doodling away. This is also good to know. Little me was the most tomboyish tomboy to ever tomboy, and wouldn't be caught DEAD drawing a princess, so I figured I would combine every girly vapid trope I knew and create a culmination of characters. With my dress-drawing and pony-loving knowledge from the first grade, I made an ensemble of six princesses and a DRAGON. Here's a recreation of what it looked like.

anyways i showed my friends and upon seeing the cover they laughed at it REALLY HARD and we all laughed for 3 mins straight. after we laughed...... my sister asked; "HEY LIYA. MAKE THIS. A THING." i said "MY POCKET PRINCESS!!?!?!" she said yes. now making princesses was my worst nightmare as i HATED DRESSES. PONIES. TIARAS. PRINCES. AND MOST OF ALL PRINCESSES. but then I decided "hm yes ok" THE BLIND BAGS i eventually started creating princesses such as princess pony and apple blossom who would be renamed apple belle. my friend and sister would suggest princesses of random shit and i would draw them. they thought they were unique and beautiful when really they just looked like this.

at one point they criticized the bong tiara and the plain dress and the side ponytail but I didn't care. I WAS THE ONE WHO TAUGHT THEM HOW TO DRAW "ANIME" EYES. back to blind bag era. One day, I was b ored at school. I was the one everyone asked to borrow scissors and paper from, so naturally i would abuse the hell out of that privelege and from that.... came the idea of making stupid looking princess dolls. stuffed in bags. I got the idea of making blind bags from formulaic girls toys as per usual. You put a random wasteful plastic figure and a few tiny accesories with a choking hazard in a tiny bag, and the only fun element was the element of suprise- which was the only thing that ever mattered at all. -but how will you make the bags?? Simple. Life hack for everyone who wants to make goodie bags. Have done this multiple times.

then i wrote a list of the princesses you can get and well picked them at random. they ALWAYS got the rare princesses because theyhd get MAD mad if i gave them common.

The history of my pocket princess goes a long way so if you want to see me cover a myriad of things such as the wafflekins, the self-insert era, Gem Flurry's magical gem necklace, dating tips, Pocket Catalogue, the blog, Feather Weights, creepypastas, its link with the Pokemon and Minecraft universes and its current state- send me asks or smth

[jcfoxington]

@sambambucky​ : “pls... Pastels, Peaches and Pain??? among us first draft??? marvel meets warframe meets a bunch of tumblr posts (it’s not an au!?!??!)

hi jo !!! Pastels, Peaches, and Pain is one of those sambucky wips i have mostly fully fleshed out in my head because of one (1) extreme moment of clarity after a rogue ‘what if’ tangent thought but havent written anything of yet out of restraint / knowing i need to finish at least one of my current sambucky wips before i start it or none of them will get done

this was the rogue tangent thought: “what if Sam is haunted by Figaro’s ghost and has been since he was a kid?”. i’ve changed the ghost cat to not be Figaro but that’s the premise !

i refer to the fic as the cat fic ‘cause the whole plot is based around sam’s ghost cat companion insisting he adopts nat’s cat Liho after endgame and then Figaro later and then [insert redacted because plot spoilers but just know it relates to Alpine]. no im not projecting my feelings about cats idk what youre talking about 

here’s some note snippets just for you:

the cat, inexplicably, takes a liking to bucky, which is really annoying bc sam doesnt know how to explain to him that all the oddly soft gusts of wind are actually sam's dead cat insisting on getting pats

bucky getting shade thrown at him by said ghost cat during all of tfatws + them making up (and not out. yet)

starts when sam's a kid & follows him as he grows up w/ a ghost kitty as a companion only he can see & interact with + angst with an undertone of comedy + getting together

he whispers to ghost kitty, who simply mmrrs happily

for the among us first draft thing, what basically happened is i saw this tweet and this video and my brain latched onto these dynamics so hard i had to write about them. 

here’s a sketch of my two main imposters, Black (left) and Cyan (right):

and here’s a snippet:

The thing having Cyan pause and stare out at the asteroid field is how the colors stretch to family. When they and Black came aboard, they had thought every crewmember was an adult working on the planet-change project. That the patch of off-white with a black something-pattern-or-shape signified status. In a way, Cyan supposes it does, but just not the way they expected. They had expected it to show what rank an individual held within the hierarchy of the crew, from deckhand to division leader to captain, not to show that you're family of the crew and not actually part of the crew itself. 

There are innocents on this ship. Children. It was not something any of them had anticipated, and not something Cyan had been prepared to deal with. They and Black boarded this horrible place to eradicate a threat, believing each and single one of the humans were accomplishes and dedicated to the goal of destroying Cyan and Black's species, and their planet. But, now?

marvel meets warframe meets a bunch of tumblr posts... doesn’t have a wip title or seperate document for itself yet cause it’s been stuck in my ‘story ideas’ document since its creation. so ‘marvel meets warframe meets a bunch of tumblr posts’ is literally just me describing the vibe of an original world gjkerfkds

the world came to be for two reasons. firstly, i want to do make take on a superhero universe because the plot and complete lack of communication in both the dcu and mcu piss me the fuck off. secondly, needed a place to dump ocs with elaborate backstories or fantasy / sci-fi abilities that dont fit into any of my existing worlds

which sounds super competent but trust me, it isn’t. it didn’t gain any solidity at all until i decided to do a personal ‘how different can i make spn castiel look & still retain the same vibe?’ challenge. i have my own cas now

however, the reason i said ‘marvel meets...’ is because i’ve snagged a couple of different things from the mcu, most notably: enemies to reluctant coworkers to lovers, yes our best friend have the same name. no they’re not the same person, secret evil org is controlling the government, and the assassin that tried to kill you several times is now your best friend

warframe was added to the world because i got attached to my Volt build, gave them a name, and have some headcanons idk what to do with because i refuse to interact with that fandom. also because the friend i made through discussing warframe lore + plot dicked me over so it feels Bad to create for

the glue to this whole mess is that one “in every friend group there’s a mean bisexual, an even meaner lesbian, a she/they, a he/they, a himbo, an astrology bitch, a short king, and a token straight” tumblr post. my main group of superheroes ala the avengers consist of these people. the token straight is the only one i havent figured out who is yet

ever since i figured that out ive been throwing story / character ideas and weirdly specific aesthetics from popular tumblr posts into this world’s notes. here’s some examples:

sword grandmas

that trope where someone’s really nice and acts super well-adjusted to society but then they do something super whack and dangerous and you realize ‘oh they’re secretly a little bit insane, actually’

anti-gay group’s leader’s wife leaves him for another woman

superhero who swore to be the best hero [city / planet / solar system / continent / ????] has ever seen ever since he lost his wife. not because she’s dead but divorce just sucks & the hero-to-be is terrible at coping

dishevelled swamp witch

that one person who runs around with an amulet all the time & isn’t aware it’s cursed

an exasperated, tired superhuman assassin running after their husband and their husband's best friend. their husband and said husband's best friend both have wings. chaos ensues (yes, this one is a sambucky post)

ask me about my WIPs!

BONUS:

@sambambucky​​ : #i want to have a coffee and listen to synopses of all of these.... #i miss the discord wow #WRITING TAG #waitttt time jumping dream movie? lmao I'VE READ THIS LIST FORTY TIMES and every time i rediscover something i wanna know about #outfit doodlesss ugh i need to go

couldnt not respond to your tags because they make me go ghrkjfnerknf but in the good way. we miss you too jo !!

the time jumping dream movie was one of the first vivid dreams i had and the whole thing was so stupidly coherent and whacky i had to write it down. it grew plot, a queer love dynamic, weird sci-fi apocalypse elements, anti-military propaganda, questionable science, and a sequel while i wasnt looking and now i just. have to make it a real movie or i’ll combust

outfit djoodlles.png is only on there because my best friend sent me a ‘draw this outfit’ meme and space kitty, my current character brainrot, stole all the outfits for himself. otherwise, that file just sits there until im feeling like designing an outfit or wanna see how a stupid thing looks on my oc patrick

here’s one of the two poses-to-doodle-outfits-on of space kitty ive made so far:

and here’s one of those stupid things on patrick (that then turned into an actual outfit of his because i have no self control):

[noxyfied]

This, is Noxy/Noxyfied/Nox. This is the character I identify as online, and I want to tell you my story with this adorable Arctic Fox because it is one heck of a tale from not so long ago

Things did begin rough at the beginning of my persona’s history. I honestly can’t recall how I came up with it, only how I inserted my love for something and went with it.

From the early years of 2017 to 2019 I was all paper and pencil. Ah yes traditional art was my big thing for a couple of years during that era of 2013 to 2020. I had a time where I wrote stories about characters I made, and not much. No fan art, no nothing, I wanted to stick to my own original ideas at first before I took the step to do something that I did not own; it was a weird mindset I know, I couldn’t hold myself to want to be original and develop to be good enough to draw other things.

It took me some time to develop, hell even to this day I still am unsure of my own skills but I enjoyed trying new things. I don’t reject much criticism even if it comes harsh it still lingers in my head when received anyway. I needed someone to identify as online, a persona who I would have an identity through as I was moving forward on this hopeful career I want to make with my art.

Idea #1 draw my own self accurate to how I look 

Scratch that...

Nononono, I am too bad at showing my face, even at that I don’t like myself.

So I had to come up with something else, 2019 was ending with my skills rising up to something neat. I had Fire alpaca and a wacom cheap tablet which I used time to time back then, and with how I moved foward I said “why not, lets draw a glaceon.

Not bad, not bad. I do enjoy anthropomorphic animals, and for a anthro Glaceon it wasn't so bad. Even back then I did not enjoy much of this picture but the idea sparked. I did roleplay around online a lot as a Glaceon. People always had referred to me as a Glaceon when talking, because furry friends tend to be like that and I don’t mind. It had definitely sparked the idea of identifying as one for my persona.

I had a hard time how I would draw this character, a more personalized Glaceon with my own flare of the art style I carry should be nice, should I make it tall? short? anthro? feral? the questions rose up. Even more as time passed, took some time unsure of it, Unluckily I had a Glaceon FURsona, not a persona. (Yes those were two separate things as I carried 7 fursonas as individual characters in their own stories).

But soon one day in class, my artsy self was bored and it just sparked.

This is it! yes! I love it! something about this just clicked for some reason, it was like nothing I had seen before I could not look away at it, this was it.

After class I went home and played some games. The idea was there but man am I tired. Things did go slow, but not for long as of January, the classes I took gave me the ability to better understand this Adobe Photoshop, an amazing tool for editing pictures but also... To draw?!? I have heard of using Photoshop to draw but was amazed to have the ability using such program. During my time 2019 I would doodle around on Photoshop in my school or at home (thanks to the campus giving me a cheaper prize to use it for assignments) Not bad, not bad, the program was for sure something nice to use. Look! I even drew my Fursonas there too, ain’t that nice

2019 was something for sure. It had just begun making 2020 quite the year as I took my wacom tablet, opened Photoshop, and on January there it was.

Oh how cute! I felt so proud of myself, firealpaca was nothing like how clean and pretty Photoshop was, I was amazed at this ability.

“I made this?” that would be what I ask myself everyday. Time to time I would, and still, look at my phone to my drawings and remember what I used to make some pieces, I will not forget how I used thick outlines with the line too from photoshop, added some depth on the eyes. But most importantly, I had a persona, and I introduced it

My friends loved it, I could not believe I am starting to do the shift, my days of traditional art were at a halt. Not at a complete stop since I do use traditional art for a few other things of course, this was just my main focus now.

This little creature was everything to me, cute, easy to make, helped me throughout a few months as I practiced with my digital art.

I also perfected it’s look, but something looked rather familiar about it. Could not put my finger to it, so I went on drawing it.

that was a few exceptions where I shifted the proportions for “it”

“It” “it” what was this thing supposed to be, I myself was unsure how to identify myself with this persona. Male? no, female? no. The issue was there, who am I really inside, who was my persona gonna be.

I still cannot tell you exactly what my persona was for the longest time. I at times felt lost and confused with my identity, it did not help that 2020 did its mumbo jumbo and a pandemic happened, it was a lot of time on my own at home just questioning really who I had been for the longest time. Classes were minimal so my free time was big around April and May.

I was always unsure of who I was exactly, through my early years late 2000′s I had in me that my body was uncomfortable for looking the way it did, 2010′s went silent but there was something in me I did not understand. why did I feel this way, why do I feel as I am not happy with who I am, and who I identify with.

This persona was the wake up call to who I really wanted to be. I saw it in me that I knew being a male was the main issue in me feeling unhappy. Throughout my life I did not enjoy masculinity as much as other kids, yeah I had some boy traits but it was rather minimal, I enjoyed other things more. I enjoyed a lot of things about being female it was something I had never seen before. as hard or confusing things tend to be from me to explain, its a rather hard thing for myself to explain. But that how it felt “confusing” I researched and looked for things and to my conclusion I had come to be, I come to identify as a MtF trans.

I felt relieved in me of it and I already enjoyed my days more after from it. The only issue is “who do I tell..?” I was timid to tell this to anyone, friends or even family. Especially family, those I come to admit they will never be told of what my decision was because of how hard headed they are. It is a tragic story to tell since most families are such closed minded people of rejecting others.

“My friends tho, my friends? I would feel bad if I told them” that was the mindset I had for a while before admitting to them time to time, one by one. This was a chapter in my life that had changed me early 2020′s but I felt a lot of joy in me to be who I wanted to be, I no longer took anyone else's guidance for controlling who I am, I just went with my own flow.

My persona was.... more comically confused, it could be either so I just left it how my mood wanted it to go for when drawing it. So, things went well, in 2019 with the money I got I found myself enjoying a lot of second handed games, with a game coming real soon that had me pumped for I had to get a console I wanted for so long

A PS4 for the the Final fantasy 7 Remake, I was so pumped waiting for the game, I got a used PS4 for it and even bought couple other games for it to get to know the console: Final fantasy 15, destiny, and later on this Persona 5 game a lot of people talked about. Hmm ok, well lets try it out and oh me oh my, a few days later:

The art style captivated me, can you tell I went all out to trying anything with my persona? I cannot believe I was my own guinea pig for these sorts.

Going around some friends and they will tell you that I used this pfp quite a lot back then, as well as updating it with a new oc I had come up with

A tale in due time will be told about this gal.

well, it was set and forth that this was me, my persona, this glaceon was who I was. People loved it, my friends really liked it, and I had a blast having this first pure year of digital art only. Meeting new friends, and admiring their art. Having old friends come back, and even losing a few others on the way. During the time of june, to July I was rapid about drawing my persona in many ways, short, tall, anthro, feral

even metallic.

 But there come some time I did not grew tired of. But a little worried that I had to rely on a franchise for my own identity, of course there is nothing wrong for those doing it. But reflecting on myself, back then when I wanted this art career to happen, I wanted to go all out letting out my imagination  with my own creations. I had to make the decision, it was time to move on...

...To a new art program and new drawing tablet

No, it wasn’t that. I had to branch out from this Glaceon, but keep my identity, my legacy of this persona in check, but with a new coat of paint of course. did not take a long time before choosing that I had to use a real life animal as inspiration for this change. Something at least close to it, ah yes of course! the inspiration of the Glaceon was an arctic fox, well those are some good stepping stones to begin with so what happened one day is that I began sketching, not before saying good bye to this old self that helped me begin. It was weird, this is me but it was old me?

Tested the new Brushes from this amazing program called Clip studio paint, and I gotta say I love the program. Sincerely the best choice I made to leave Photoshop for this.

At last, this is it. the new Me!

Familiar looking isn’t it,baby steps we can say.

I cannot blame the people for calling my new persona a “Glaceon-alike”

I headed to the right direction stepping away from it, but it was hard to let go

new program, new tablet, new me. the later half of 2020 went onto a lot of changes with myself, the chibi small version did not make me happy to make anymore, I was losing the touch and with the few comments I got of looking like a “powerpuff girl look a like” did set me off to do a drastic change I am thankful to do. This new me had some weird phases, don’t we all tho?

where else to brainstorm than back to the traditional old ways. Now, you may see this and ask what was I thinking when making this. the order of when i started and finish goes as: Top right: ok what if it was feral, nah nah scratch. Top left: Can I still make it cute with a round face and features I had from before? ew no! that looks scary Bottom right: lets make it more natural and wow hey! yes yes yes! this looks hundred times better. Bottom left: It is time I go all out and make it humanoid, it was how I found myself enjoying drawing most things but still did some anthropomorphic things. I was just not the best of it.

Back to digital and.... Amazing, I really out did myself this time, lets go for it, lets keep going with this

I even got a cool sword too!

My practice continued from here, the second half was great and fun. New persona got me in a place where I was happy with and through October and December I was having a blast with the more possibilities with it. I went on to practice with even more suggestive things after a life drawing class I took, proportions mattered to me and with this new persona I went out to make more better looking proportions that were attractive and stylish.

This persona was great, and I managed to make so much of it. even Drawing the more suggestive stuff had left me with an answer for this persona. Just make it gender fluid, my selection for this character being male or female made me so tired I did not know why I just made it gender fluid since the beginning. My mood swings for this character, and I can’t resist drawing it either way. Was I finished? of course not, this persona still had some work around to do. The hair became a pain to make to keeping up with  consistently.

2020 ended, with a year of exciting new things coming for this new year. I went through quite a lot in my life and my art career took a shaken with this new digital life style, my persona became the identity I saw myself through, something im happy with drawing to represent Me.

That isn’t to say that I gave up on drawing Me Me.

I drew who I hope to be, and will use this from time to time, nothing fancy but something.

It has been a year already since I began identifying myself with this persona from last year from now. ever since I sketched that doodle in class, it has been a happy trip through memory lane writing it and I am happy how things turned out. 2021 is what I hope to be as good as 2020 was (by that I mean drawing only of course) In 2021 one more change was made that had made me just as happy to continue on with.

I got more hair! as crazy as it is yes. More hair, and a different front style has been to this day what I been using.

I even made a discord emoji for all the warm hugs to have with my fursona!

and my first ever animation I have ever done before!!

I am always experimenting new things, and i’m proud to be an artists to go out there and leave my art out there to be noticed by anyone. The love and appreciation friends and others leave me are the best thing I could ask. I look foward to see what is up ahead, for me, my career, and Noxy.

[windydreams]

@vivziepop

Dear Viv:

(fan letter after the break)

I'm sorry for contacting you this way, but I really wanted to express my love, adoration and gratitude and I don't know how else I could've done it in a way that expresses everything I want to tell you. So... apologies for that, you don't have to read this if you don't want to, I won't bother you like this again.

Anyway, hi, I'm Tuuli, a 24-year-old Finnish enby and a long time fan of yours! Ever since your Die Young animation was released, actually. I had a habit of watching the wonderful thing at least once a month - and binging your other content while I was at it! You were and continue to be one of my sunshines in my otherwise dreary everyday life. 

Though things used to be nothing but dark clouds and heavy rain...

I used to be relentlessly bullied as a child. Through most of Elementary and all of Junior High I was mocked, laughed at and ostracized for everything I said, everything I did, everything I loved! Just opening my mouth invited ridicule from my peers. Having not-yet-diagnosed Autism and a special interest in cartoons was the biggest reason but I certainly didn't know that at the time! This went on till FINALLY, I had enough, and became what we Finns call a "hissukka", meaning an unusually quiet person, not interacting with anyone unless spoken to. Can't really blame me, people wouldn't leave me be otherwise. I became bitter, resentful, even suicidal.

This attitude carried on to High School, where I was completely alone. My grades tanked because I never developed studying skills beyond memorizing the few chapters we had to study. And suddenly having to apply my knowledge from several books by writing at least three four page essays? It still amazes me that I got in to High School in the first place. I was... broken, and without a direction to go by the time my High School career was lengthened due to bad grades. 

I had doodled for a while but I didn't think I could go anywhere with that since I firmly believed there were no schools here that taught animation, not to mention I was convinced my skills were lacking despite many teachers and family members telling me otherwise.

Then something happened.

Or rather, some people.

More specifically, Ashley Simpson (the one who got a job at Disney thanks to fanart, you know the one) Josiah Brooks ((Draw with) Jazza on youtube) and you.

You guys were my first contact with internet fandoms, of regular people truly loving animation and doing it as older folk with no shame. It was validating, it was eye-opening, it was beautiful. 

In terms of you and your work, I loved the movement, not just animation but the movement in your still drawings. I loved the vibrant, pleasing colors, I loved your characters and the personality in their poses, I loved your bushy, big hairstyles you gave them, the jam packed but expressive faces from the eyes to the mouth, the slender limbs that despite being so thin looked natural and the fluidity and confidence of your lines. And I especially loved the "ears" and the colored scleras of the characters that had them. Those were the things that left an impression.

But what really clicked was that, while I was mesmerized by you I started drawing more and, by an event short of a miracle, I managed to draw my most beloved Original Character (well, more of a versatile self-insert 2.0) EXACLY as I pictured her in my head.

As I cried, my mind was made. I WILL become an animator, I HAD what it takes to succeed, and I WON'T stop till I've reached that dream. And to this day, I haven't stopped drawing, making up stories and making short animations. I'm still terrified of sharing my work, not to mention I haven't gotten to a proper school to truly gain a proper professional title, but I WILL get there, no matter how many years it takes. THAT is a threat and a promise. 

And you are still with me through my highs and lows, encouraging me to give my all, and I'm infinitely grateful for that. 

Here’s a drawing I did of your characters, specifically the ones I love most design-wise. I hope you like it. I'm not really good at traditional art, but I felt this was more personal as a display of admiration. And sorry for the smudges in the left of the picture, I have no idea how those got there and I couldn't get them to disappear either. Hope my message is still clear: No matter what happens, no matter how many try to slander and humiliate you, no matter how many people try to tell me to hate you, I will always be here, cheering you on, looking forward to the next big thing you do.

Thank you. For being you.

Love Tuuli

[plucky-belmondo]

musings of my self-inserting days

A long rambling of when i started self shipping, why I do it, and the friends I’ve made in this community. I would also like to thank @robotarmjokes for hosting this event. 

I’ve been self-inserting for...almost two years now, if I remember correctly, and you know what? I’m glad to be a part of this community. It may have its...ups and downs at times, and even so I still have fun with self-shipping shenanigans.

Warning: gets kinda personal.

What got you into self inserting? Was it something you’ve always done, or something you were inspired to do?

It’s kinda funny answering this, because self-inserting is what inspired me to start drawing in the first place. It all started when I was ten, and became a fan of anime, specifically Naruto. I fell in love with one of the characters, and would often picture myself with them, to the point where I drew out said ideas. So yeah, it’s something I’ve been doing for a while, but I never really made it public ‘til now. Truth be told, the reason why I became afraid to do this was because, shortly after I started self-shipping, people started picking on me for it. (they actually ended up apologizing for it when we met again in high school).

So yeah, it started from me doing poopy screen edits, to silly scribbles, to better-looking art (me @ myself: SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT YOUR DOODLES, DANG.)

The reason why I still self-insert to this day is because it literally helps me get through my days.

For some of us, aesthetic is key. Do you have a theme or an aesthetic for your self insert content (Please do not include ships/FOs!)?

Hmm...for Plucky, my main self-insert, I would always describe her aesthetics with space themes (since she can manipulate space), tea, red/purple colors, and quotes about mystery. While red’s considered an energetic color, I often use darker shades to compliment Plucky’s calm attitude. Because her origin’s story is strictly kept a secret, I would find myself using subtle imagery to show who she is. Her aesthetic can be summarized in three words only: a walking mystery.

What’s your favourite way of self inserting? Do you like to write, or draw, or make content via other means? (They’re all valid, even if you don’t make content and keep it to yourself!)

I draw and write, though I lean more on the drawing aspect. I draw chibi art (because drawing actually proportioned art frustrates me aaaaaaaAAA)! My writing skills...not so great. I mostly draw cutesy things, but there’s times where I get spicy, however, these drawings are kept in secret. When I do write, it’s just one shots from prompts that were sent in, eheh. I have a ton of ideas in my head, it’s just...I spend more time on shitposting (and Cookie Run--)

Friends are very important. Have you made any friends within the community?

I have, a lot!  Even if I don’t talk much with them, I still consider them friends/great people!!

@robotarmjokes / @lildreamysoul / @iselfshipnerd - The ones who inspired me to keep self-shipping.

@husband-of-lucoa - MY BROSKI, SINCE THE DAYS OF DA. We didn’t meet through self-shipping, we actually met there when I made comics about Team Skull. xD

@hinatas-wife / @dreamy-skies-station / @dokiquents - Their love for the FE series is what finally got me to try out what FE is like (even if the one I’m playing is a mobile one xDD). Little did I know that this made me fall in love with a demon dragon ;w;

and many wonderful peeps too!! @miyuswhoopsiedoodles, @circuits-afire, @queenieboo22, @afimi-mi, @deliciousgrass, @insertofalord, @mariposalass, @justafictionalthing, @star-platinums-wife, @little-fairyfox-ships, @sunflower-rhi, @bakahebi, @theangelslittlecanary, @hime-selfinserts, @spiritusxvitae, @wallachianwitch, @lovemisskiki, @trpgs-and-vamp-zektors, @lopships...there’s a lot more, but I can’t remember their URLs :’D OTL

honestly had it not been for this community, I wouldn’t even be here right now. ;w;