#originally she was supposed to be playing her guitar but i didnt have time to learn how to draw a guitar WHILE making sure i get this done

[caramelmochacrow]

happy birthday mocaaaaaaa (we have the same birthday >:D)

[arlakos]

Marinette’s list of Parisian Warcrimes (Or why I need to vent about all the bad stuff Marinette has done)

Yeah, I’m doing this.

People be talking on Tumblr about why Marinette is the best character in the show and talking shit about every other character, from Adrien so I think I'll do what I do best and piss off people.

 You want another Adrien salt Fic about why he’s a stalker to validate your sensitivity to everything that triggers you?

 You want another AU where Chloe goes full-on villain and asshole mode so that you can be just another Astruc stan?

 Do you want another Lukanette fanfic because Luka is the ‘Better Adrien’ even though all he does is play a guitar?

TOO BAD! THIS TIME WE BE DOING SOME MARINETTE SALT AND WE GOING IN HARD! WE ARE GONNA BE RUNNING THIS BLUE HAIRED GIRL INTO THE GROUND THE SAME WAY THE FANDOM TREATED THE OTHER CHARACTERS!

THIS IS PAYBACK FOR ALL THE SALT FICS THAT HAVE BEEN FORCED TO SEE THAT DON’T EVEN BOTHER TO USE NATURAL LOGIC!

(And I'm gonna love every bit of it)

So without further ado, Marinette is sentenced to be salted on the following charges:

Having a planner that tracks Adrien's every location/activity so she can stalk him at all times and actively uses (Stormy Weather).

Using her powers to prevent Adrien from dancing with another person (yes, even if that person is Chloe) (Bubbler)

Stealing Adrien's phone (Copycat)

Reading other peoples letters, even if they did throw it in the garbage (Dark Cupid)

Abandoning Paris (Ladybug Origins) (Yes I know people are going to be angry at me especially for this one, but if Everyone gives shit for Chat Noir for doing the same thing in Syren, then Ladybug gets it as well. No double standards on this post)

Literally destroying Max’s hopes and dreams by beating him in a game entering a tournament just so that she could be with Adrien. I don’t care who was better in the game or won, Marinette had no prior interest in the tournament and even knew how much Max wanted to enter, yet still done it anyway the second she realized Adrien was there. Yeah, others will say its cute that she wanted to be with Adrien, but if she really wanted to spend time with him, all she had to do was, you know, ASK LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!!! (Gamer)

Ladybug not listening to advice on where the akuma is all because she didn't like Chloe. who made a small lie before to her. Yeah Ladybug, someone making a little lie to save themselves embarrassment is really valid enough of a reason for their opinion and advice to be worth nothing. And it caused another akuma, good for you. (Antibug)

Oooh, a big one...Marinette stalked Lila and Adrien pretty much all day, under the guise of ‘not liking liars’ (yeah right) and once she had a ‘valid’ excuse to pretty much ruin Lila’s chances of wooing Adrien (whether or not she had an actual chance is irrelevant) she transformed into Ladybug and ABSOLUTELY EMBARRASSED HER AND HUMILIATED HER right in front of Adrien, when she could have just pulled her aside and just told her off in private and quietly so that she wouldn’t do it again. When Adrien questions her says she did it with the excuse of ‘not liking liars’. (Volpina)

Not telling Fu who the book belonged too when questioned on where she got it. I get that this was an excuse to prolong the shows run time, but if you were going to bring this up in the show and pretend that what Marinette did wasn’t a big deal, then they shouldn’t have added it in the first place. (The Collector)

Not bothering to tell her grandmother the truth and sneaking off to hang with her friends. (Befana)

Ladybug leading on Chat Noir. If she really didn't want to go, she could have just outright said No and be done with it, instead of just a ‘maybe’. (Glaciator)

Ladybug Literally not telling Chat Noir about the Guardian or where the hell all these heroes are coming from. There was literally no excuse, Adrien didn’t need to wait ‘until he was ready’, he literally became a hero the same time as Ladybug, it wasn’t like he was ‘the new guy’ and Ladybug was ‘the more experienced one’. I can give this to Fu as well, but I still feel that Ladybug should’ve told him regardless from the get go, she trusted a man she hadn’t properly met until 1 season later more than her own partner who stuck with her since day one. (Syren)

Taking pollen away from Chloe... yeah this really doesnt count. I just simply liked Chloe’s face in Malediktator when she saw Pollen again.

Talking shit about Chloe behind her back then acting all friendly to her as Ladybug when she needed her to become Queen Bee. Not really bad, it's just incredibly rude. (Maledictator)

Again, the same shit as Stormy Weather, instead of being punished for having the planner that details every bit of Adriens day to day activities, she gets rewarded by the writers. Not so much a Marinette crime as it is and ASS-truc crime. (Troublemaker)

Snooping through Marcs Private book, annoying him when he wanted to be isolated, and just straight up not having Marc give him the script himself. She could have tried just bringing Marc to Nathaniel and showing him the script together. (Reverser).

Making a lie about organizing a party when she definitely didn’t plan one. Yes, even if she was going to do it afterwards and planned to make the pastries herself for the party. She really is a hypocrite when she comes to lying, even though that’s a personality trait the writer's press is the reason why she hates Lila. (Season 2 Finale-Catalyst and Mayura).

Sabotaging Kagami’s attempts at being with Adrien. (Animaestro)

Marinette telling her Grandpa that rice bread is better than wheat bread. Anybody who has tasted bread would say otherwise. Although to be fair I blame Tom for this and this isn’t really as bad as the others (Bakerix)

Marinette throws Chat under the bus by pretending she loves him and leaving him to face Tom when the entire thing was her fault. I know she did it to protect her identity, but it still was an ass thing to do, and Chat found Marinette in her own house, Marinette could have used any excuse, including but not limited to, baked goods. (Weredad)

Marinette... LITERALLY... TRIED TO BREAK INTO ADRIEN’S HOME... ALL BECAUSE LILA WAS THERE...if the fireman was smarter than most other characters in the show he could’ve literally called the cops on her, leading to her getting arrested and Gabriel (or even Adrien) filing a restraining order against her. That and she steals Juleka’s bike. Not cool dude. (Oni-Chan)

Marinette not making it very clear to Chloe that she can’t get the miraculous back under any circumstances due to her exposed identity, especially after Chloe claims she’ll need them again. (Miraculer)

Marinette sneaks into the boy’s party despite wanting bro time, all because she wanted another botched attempt to confess to Adrien. (Party Crasher)

THAT CREEPY SCENE WITH THE ‘ADRIEN WAX STATUE’. I dont want to talk about it. You know which one I'm talking about. If you don’t, thank god, but IF YOU THINK THAT WAS CUTE IN ANY WAY OR THAT ITS ADRIEN FAULT BECAUSE HE STOOD STILL, YOU NEED TO GET YOUR HEAD CHECKED. (god i still have nightmares) (Puppeteer 2)

Not really a crime, but talking literally all the miraculi when you only needed a few. What would happen if she screwed up and Hawkmot got all the miraculous, or lost a few for the Akuma to obtain? (Kwamibuster)

Marinette (or Lady Noire) being an absolute dick to Misterbug during the entire time they were fighting Reflekdoll, insulting Misterbug for misusing his power when she does the same thing and claiming Misterbugs usual job is ‘easy’. Yeah...no. Fuck you Lady Noire, go eat a cataclysm to the face (Reflekdoll)

Marinette sabotaging Friendship day for Kagami just because she didnt want the latter to see Adrien.. at all. (Ikari Gozen)

Claiming Adrien is a good guitarist when Luka is an actual one. Not a crime, just dumb (Desperada)

Giving a Miraculous to Adrien when she can’t even control herself around him and could be distracted (Desperada)

Being too cute in that picture Marinette and Adrien sleeping together on the train. Yes i know this isn’t a crime, i do like some stuff about her, i just think the pic is really cute. (Startrain)

(Look at it, they’re adorkable. Awww....)

(Wait, aren’t I supposed to be salty?)

NOW, for the biggest crime of them all...

Literally not confessing to Adrien even once. Aside from the fact its turned the ‘romance part’ of the show into a joke, Marinette not telling Adrien the truth already or lying about her feelings is the reason we have the ‘Marinette is just a good friend meme’. No wonder he thinks you are ‘just a friend’. THAT’S ALL YOU HAVE BEEN TELLING HIM. 

My evidence? EVERY SINGLE EPISODE!!!

...

Ahhhh. Much better.

Well, now that I have successfully gotten rid of all that anger and salt and manifested it into a physical memento of my anger for this show and its main character, I’m going to relax while people get mad and triggered that I insulted the ‘Perfect Marinette’ and leave me angry messages. For all those that listened and don’t hate me or even agree with what I have said, thanks for reading my large amount of vented writing. I hope you have a pleasant day.

Let's hope for season 4 of Miraculous to be better now that Zag is back. The fandom knows we don't need another salty season.

[benreyplush]

ok so

benny is some sort of benrey clone after some weird shit happened when benrey was defeated and made his way back into gordon’s games like payday 2.

he somehow got into terraria and has no memory of black mesa or who he was even based off of. he barely remembers his name and all it came out to him was “benny”

he’s also freakishly tall

when jack (the world’s guide) found him, he was very quiet and seemingly apathetic about his surroundings. didn’t really talk much and jack thought he was an enigma for a while. he did his usual and helped him begin his life there.

but then benny started doing some weird shit that jack wasnt prepared for. enemies couldn’t hurt him. he could freeze time. destroy and create items indefinitely. he has no idea what benny is and the order of the guide never talked about anything like this so obviously he’s very freaked out at first

slowly benny starts remembering some of his old personality and would say things that make 0 sense to jack. jack doesn’t know what “poggers” means.

eventually benny remembers a lot of it and actually feels kinda sad. like he feels like he has to be this “benrey” but he doesnt want to be. hes different.

and jack tells him he’s not benrey. he became his own thing and that was good! and he doesnt have to be like him. benny was very relieved by this and sorta became his own thing. like he was still like benrey but less of an asshole and really just goofed around. he still found himself harassing the new npcs that move in but he never harasses jack. he likes jack.

jack says he wont call him benrey. to him, he’s benny. and benny really appreciates it.

jack always wondered what benny meant by “self aware” when he talked about his memories. benny talked about the “npc ai just getting a mind of their own” and said when he joined this new world, it must have turned everyone in terraria self aware like in half life. so thats cool.

eventually jack like. realizes he might have a lil crush on benny and feels bad about it. because he knows his fate is to be sacrificed in the end and he doesnt wanna grow too close to benny.

but inevitably they end up together and jack is starting to question if he needs to die. like originally he came to terms with it a long time ago but now he’s actually reconsidering??? wow! they have at least one argument when jack actually sits him down and explains the wall of flesh thing.

at some point jack convinces benny to take him on an adventure and they end up in the underworld. jack’s plan was to go through with the sacrifice and almost succeeded but benny grabbed him and told him not to do that again. and jack was like “you have to let me do this” and benny was like “no dude i love u” and then they kissed and it was like. the first time either of them have kissed anyone ever but it was still nice.

and jack is like “ok actually i want to live with you forever lets go home” but a demon appears when they arent paying attention and attacks them and jack gets knocked into the lava and the wall of flesh is summoned. and benny is devastated. 

when thats over a new guide shows up but benny wants nothing to do with him bc he is not jack. and benny is mad at himself bc he can freeze time, control enemy spawn rates n shit but he cant bring ppl back to life and he feels worthless about it

so the rest of the story is about benny having to move on and accept his death :(

so its a sad story 

but here’s some nice things

benny knows the sweet voice still and uses it on jack all the time. it was confusing to them both when he did it the first time. eventually jack gets used to it and actually really likes it. 

jack is supposed to be the helpful npc so he usually keeps himself together but as he grows closer to benny his emotions start coming out more and whenever he’s stressed he can just look at benny and say “sweet voice pls” and benny calms him down with it. benny also uses it to get jack to sleep (”blue and red means its time for bed :)” ) because normally he shouldnt have to but being self aware is tiring.

oh also whenever jack gets burns from the voodoo dolls in the underworld, benny heals them with the sweet voice healing beam :). benny has no idea how he keeps getting burned and eventually just assumes its bc of the furnace and is like “bro stop shoving ur hands in the furnace lol” and jack cant bring himself to tell him the truth so he just goes with it.

benny was the first to confess and he did it by serenading jack with the worst guitar playing that jack has ever heard <3 but it still made him smile. i know he really had to think about it before accepting it bc wall of flesh, can’t get too close, blah blah blah.

plus idk how relationships work in the order of the guide. he probably really didnt expect to get into a relationship and the new guide that comes along probably found it super strange.

anyway this is a lot of text wow im gonna just add on to the post as i think of shit but if u read all of this i am in love with u

EDIT: I FOUND A WAY TO MAKE A HAPPY ENDING

after defeating the moon lord, either the order of the guide or maybe even the spirits of terraria herself brings jack back because benny deserves that after saving all of them.

so benny notices the new guide is gone and was like “weird but whatever” and then he hears someone call out to him. he’s like “ugh what” and turns and its jack and he like. drops his weapon in his hand in shock and takes his eye mask and helmet off to see him properly. like he isnt sure if he’s dreaming or not.

and then he runs to him and grabs him and he’s real holy fuck. so he’s overjoyed and both of them fucking cry (first time jack actually sees ben cry ever!!!) and they kiss n shit and its incredible the end. since the world has been saved, the two live a more domestic life and benny is like “we’re never going to the underworld again ever and also im going to be around u a lot bc i missed u so much and i cant lose u again” so he’s extra clingy but jack is so happy to be back with him that he doesnt care!!!!!

also funny fact but the mechanic was the first npc to move in with them and (i think her name was shayna in my world. will change it if not) was overly annoyed at their constant sappiness before jack was killed. ben was extra affectionate to jack around her bc he likes annoying ppl (except for jack). but when jack comes back from the dead, she still acts annoyed but she’s actually relieved to see benny happy again.

[revol-lover]

dreams don’t end at “30″

so i just had a little breakthrough and maybe this wont sound like anything to anyone else but i just have to share it

so i’ve talked about this before. about how my friend and i were both planning these personal development like goals for this year that covid got in the way of. and he said something, about how this is his last year in his 20s and he wanted to get some goals accomplished before 30 

and i thought about that and realized something.

i have been feeling similarly about a few goals that i’ve been hanging onto for years and years. like i’m going to be honest with you, some people might remember this if you’ve been around here for a long time but probably not. anyway when i was in high school i really wanted to make music, sing, learn an instrument. and i did make some covers that i posted on myspace (showing my age here lol) and youtube but then i kind of gave up on it when

 1) became 18 and realized my dream to go to NYC and pursue music when i was 18 wasn’t happening because of a million reasons (it was very much a pipe dream, right? i mean you can’t have that dream and not prepare for it and i didnt. also i was too scared at the time to even move out to my own place if i had the funds to do so because my parents wouldnt have really approved and i was still so under their thumb) 

2) broke up with my musician boyfriend. which needed to happen. but he was the only person super passionate about that kind of goal at the time around me (till he ran lol)  and he actually is still doing music now so good for him but basically 

because of those 2 reasons i just let go of that dream all together as something i thought i wanted to do but was “unrealistic”.

but the thing about turning 30 and feelings like you needed to achieve all these personal/dreamy/goals in your 20s. what is that bullshit? why? 

what changes when you cross over to 30? i’ll tell you one thing. media pushes movies, books, films, everything about people chasing their dreams in their 20s and “settling” down in their 30s. where’s my inspiring movie about the 32 year old mom who finally wrote a song and performed it live after being terrified her whole life of doing so?

 think about it though

in your 30s you. *might* have a better paying job than you did in your 20s. which means, if you can manage to find time or a way for it, you *might* be able to save a little more money or afford to do something like, buy that guitar and guitar lessons in order to learn to play and write a song and live out your dream in some way, even if its just learning to play so you can play at an open mic. and maybe you’ll like that and you’ll somehow connect with likeminded people and form a band. idk. your dreams dont have to end in your 20s. 

you dont have to fall into the trap of your 20s are for your dreams that are so big you feel like the chance of achieving them is getting struck by lightening

and then your 30s are for fancy adult goals like buying a house, and going on a $10k vacation and those things are probably just as hard as the goals you had in your 20s but the world wont make you see it that way. its seen as “selfish” to prioritize and budget for your artistic goals - but not a house. no that’s responsible and what you “should” do. but its ok to prioritize something that’s going to give your soul fulfillment too! we need to believe that! because it’s true. we are not here just to work our jobs and live mundane colorless lives once we aren’t considered “young” anymore (but 30s are still young. not what i’m saying)

 you’re always going to be chasing something big and if you let the world control what that thing is you’re always going to be on some rat race. 

it’s fine if you achieve your goals in a different order than the world says you were supposed to. i got married young and had a child young, that was how my life played out and i’m happy with that because, yes, finding love and becoming a mother very much were goals of mine.

yes i dropped out of college because i couldn’t afford it and i couldnt find a major that felt worth being in debt for. and also, because hey guess what? contrary to what a lot of people will try to lead you to believe, college is not for everyone. and college does not = success. college drop out does not = failure. it’s just an option of something you could do with your life. AND if you didn’t go to your college in your 20s it doesnt mean you can’t in your 30s. or 50s. hell my husband, who did go to college saw elderly (think, 80s!) people going to his college as students! college isn’t just for 18 year olds fresh out of high school. 

My 27th birthday is in 2 weeks and no, i have not yet to worked up the courage to write an original song from words to music, or have the courage to get on a stage and sing anything, or talk to a stranger, or publish any of my writing or art, goals i’ve had whirling around in my brain since I was 18, but, it’s going to happen. maybe this year. maybe when i’m 35, but it’s going to happen. a number is not going to be the thing holding me back.

that whole mentality of “my youth is slipping away i need to achieve all these dreams before midnight the day of my 30th birthday” is so stupid and flawed and we all deserve to see ourselves, and our individual potential as more than that. 

last part of this rant - one of the reason i even became so passionate about reignighting some of my dusty, old goals, that it turned out, i still cared about, is because i had a moment where i was like

ok i am a mom. i am someones mom. how will my daughter see me, as a person, not just her mom? 

kevin and i always talk about how between the two of us we’ve both had a lot of quintessential young adult experiences that we look forward to sharing with her. like, quitting jobs, getting in car accidents, that one time i unknowingly participated in an illegal bonfire and ran from the cops then lied straight to their faces and somehow got away with it (literally my ONE act of teen rebellion), changing college majors like 3 years in (kevin), failed classes, tried cigarettes, etc like i’m ready, and hope that one day she will feel comfortable talking to us about things because we’ve been through things and have a lot of input and two different perspectives to offer

but further than that, i realized that i want her to know that her mom is a person too. i want her to know that mom is also passionate about writing, and music, and somehow tackled some of her goals in regards to that so that SHE can feel that SHE, too can do those things. and i know that, that is in part how it works 

because,

my dad IS an artist. my dad IS a musician. yall. my dad is SO talented.  my dad is brilliant. besides his artistic abilities which include, drawing literal realistic as fuck portraits, sculpting, painting, playing guitar, bass, piano, mandolin, he also knows music composition, etc etc etc beyond all of that, he also taught himself fucking PLUMBING and ELECTRICIAN SHIT to fix things in our house growing up. like he bought a book. and taught himself. my dad. i grew up thinking that was normal but i realized not everyones dad can just tear down the bathroom and rebuild it from scratch down to the plumbing without being a licensed professional.

but anyway the point is - as talented as my dad is, he doesnt really pursue his artistic dreams much. and its sad. i’m glad that i’ve seen some of the work he did when he was younger. i’m glad that if i bring it up, he’ll show me something he can do. but he doesnt pursue it anymore really. my dad works an exhausting physical labor job but even he, as a 50something year old has fallen into that trap of like, i dont have time to draw, but he will scroll his phone and read articles for hours and i’m not shaming him. i’m just saying we all have this problem in the modern era of technology and social media and what not (hell i am writing a post on tumblr instead of my book right now).

but if timing was different and my dad grew up in a different time, where lets say something distracted him from doing the little bit of art and music that he did when i was a kid that i was able to witness, if i hadnt seen that. i wouldnt know that.. in a way.. that’s in me. i mean, he’s my dad. if my dad could pick up a craft and work at it to be good at it, why can’t i? there are so many musicians and (kind unrelated but not rly - i think being “self made” is an art) business owners in my family. there’s either some common thread in our genetics ORRRRRRRRRR just growing up around people working at and succeeding at those kinds of goals shows you that it CAN be done so you’re more likely to believe in your abilities

and i want that for my daughter. because even as an almost 3 year old i can see that she has a gift for music, and reading. and even if i’m wrong about that and she grows up wanting to do some other thing as a job or hobby, i want her to know, by seeing her mom do it, that she can achieve anything she puts her heart to. you don’t have to box yourself in because of your age or your sex or the fact that you’re a parent. 

and your dream doesnt have to become your career. it can be a hobby and still be fulfilling. like yes, 18 year old me dreamed about some life in nyc singing in clubs or bars or whatever and being ~famous (lol) and that did not happen, but i can still get out there and play open mic downtown and get that love of music, and desire to face my fear of performing out of my system. maybe i’ll love it. maybe i’ll hate it. but i’ll have done it. and that’s the ultimate goal. 

sorry i went off but i had to get that out of my system and i’m very passionate about 

[ajaegerpilot]

tlou2 thoughts under the readmore

well im not rlly sure what message tlou2 was trying to convey, if any but. joel’s words at the end saying ‘if i had a second chance i’d make the same decision’ is kind of like what i’d always felt abt all the decisions made in the game. and decisions in life. like sometimes you have to make bad decisions, but you can’t opt out, you have to sit in them. abby + the fireflies killing joel is something I think joel would never say he didn’t deserve.

wrt what i think’s coming after the game, and this is what might’ve pissed people off at the end - the ambiguity - but whatever i’m a big boy i can engage with media and make shit up based on what i’ve seen whether or not it’s what the writer’s intended. 

i think tentatively that abby chomping off ellie’s guitar fingers made her think of joel playing guitar in that last moment (probably after a quick ‘OUCH BUT I NEED THOSE’ thought). i think the importance of music was well foreshadowed throughout the game. i personally think ellie is probably going to go back to the original town and apologize to dina, thinking about her last word’s with joel wrt ‘i dont know if i can ever forgive you for that, but i’d like to try’. also I think the implication could be that the fireflies are still alive? also, was that a firefly symbol on ellie’s guitar or was it a moth? like i don’t think the game ended in an abjectly hopeless place like it sounds like most people do because llke... joel was a brutal person who did worse to people that deserved less than abby’s dad (bc honestly fuck abby’s dad).

i don’t think the messaging of the game was ‘violence bad’ because like again, the last part of the game u kill a bunch of bad ppl, and again with the mechanics of the game to decry violence doesn’t make sense. i’m terribly partial to ‘violence to liberate vs violence to oppress’ narratives, but I’m not sure if that’s what the game was trying to convey either. i’m trying to understand how revenge relates to closure, because it’s evident that ellie still needed closure even if she never got revenge.

i’m trying to find the throughline here and what I can personally learn from this and I suppose it’s the thought of like. living after loss. that seeking closure is fine but revenge doesn’t necessarily bring closure. that you are really lost when you become consumed by violence. that the choices you made you have to live with, and if you can find yourself knowing you would do it again that you would, you’re lucky. but idk every time I think about like how if lev was killed, and how lev is a stand in for ellie where abby is a stand in for joel, idk. like if abby didn’t take revenge it feels almost like it was not her choice, but like the world beat out all her energy out of her. like idk, it’s true that when you’re just killing ppl all the fucking time by yourself your life is essentially forfeit. and sometimes it is forfeit when you’ve lost everyone innocent and good in your life. 

idk maybe for abby it was enough to find one good person to take care of, to watch for and die for (as she would have for lev if ellie had killed her), but for ellie it wasn’t enough to have a wife and child the way joel once did.

but idk just like i can’t blame abby for killing joel, and i can’t blame joel for killing abby’s dad, and i can’t blame hardly anyone for killing anyone in this game, lilke everytime i get close to trying to find a common thread within all that’s happened in this game i find an exception. and maybe that’s just because i’ve had a tiring day, but i still don’t really know what this game is trying to teach me other than abby hot arms big strong woman.

i think the pacing of the game was shit. ellie’s part early on dragged, I liked abby’s part bc we got to see a bunch of different worlds and wish we spent more time with the WLFs or the seraphites and less time in abby’s ex’s grimey sex aquarium. and then the last part of the game was too rushed imo in a sense. Idk if necessarily they should’ve dragged it out for longer, but maybe if they’d shortened up the previous two parts the last part wouldn’t have felt so rushed and honestly tacked on.

I liked the ending scenes just fine, and one day I expect someone to write an essay about the symbolism of abby being put up on that lumber like she was jesus but right now the essays are either like ‘tlou2 SUCKEd’ or ‘tlou2 was GOOD ACTUALLY’. i can’t deny the acting in this game was great and they really improved the facial animation between the trailer and the game (which, thank god bc i wasn’t saying it but it looked weird in the trailer). the game was unnecessarily brutal (sorry to the naughty dog employees), the black guy with superhuman invincibility to pain that abby had to brutally kill was disgusting, the way we got 1 nonwhite person that didnt die towards the end. this game needed a script editor to chop things down and make the messages more clear and concise. maybe the story really didn’t have any meaning? maybe the message is like ‘you’re shit and you live in a shit world but do u really just want to kill people all the time and never advance and grow’ but AGAIN that falls apart when you look at the 1) primary game mechanic of killing people all of the time 2) the concept of people killing those you love (eg dina/jj or lev).

like idk. idk man.

[happys-crazy-queen22]

No Longer A Secret

Gif Credit @ratcoven

Requested By Anon. I hope you like it! Thank you for requesting.

Tag List: @chriscrosscerulli  @ilovetaquitosmmmm  @batgirl09151997

Happy Reading Dollies 

Original Character Slutkowski.. 

You have been friends with Ryan and his family for years. His mom thought of you dearly. She always said that you and him would end up together and give her grandbabies. You thought she was crazy until about two years ago something in you snapped and the feelings for Ryan started to pour out but you didn't dare mention them to Ryan. That was until someone stepped in and tried taking him away.

"Oh Ry Ry, I can't wait for us to be husband and wife". Ryan's girlfriend sang annoying the shit out of everyone. We were at band practice he was supposed to leave her but here she is hanging all over him, rubbing up on him and distracting him from his work.

"I'm trying not to be mean but that fucking bitch it getting on my last fucking nerve, fuck". You exclaimed quietly. Only you Chris and Balz heard you.

"Are you sick of her fuckery"? Balz laughed then gagged as he saw Ryan and his girlfriend start making out. You turned your head to see. These feelings in you made you want to bludgeon her to death with Ryan's guitar. But you restrained yourself from doing so.

"I'm going to get some fresh air and a shot of tequila or two".

"I'll come with you". Balz followed you out to the patio sitting down at the table. You breathed in deeply.

"So where's the tequila"?

"I dont have any".

"Then why did I come out here"?

"To get away from slutkowski in there". "I can't believe she's talking about fucking marrying him". "They've been dating for three months".

"Why do you care so much, it's his life let him screw it up".

"I don't want him to get hurt because you will be helping me bury a body".

"How did I get dragged into your love triangle"?

You sat upright and straightened your face trying to seem like his question didn't bother you.

"What are you talking about"? You cleared your throat playing with your hair. A nervous tick of yours.

"Ever since he started dating her you've gone bat shit crazy".

"I'm worried about him, that's what friends do".

"You're more worried than we are. You're afraid you've lost your chance with Ryan".

"No I'm not".

"Y/N come on. I know you. You love him and I mean love love him". "I don't get the whole love thing but I see it in your eyes when you galke at him from afar".

"It's that obvious"?

"You could see it from space. I don't know how Ryan doesn't see it".

"See what"? Ryan's voice made you jump out of your chair. Even Balz jumped grabbing his chest. Your heart pounded a mile a minute.

"Nothing". You covered. Balz rolled his eyes and kicked your foot underneath the table. You hissed at him. Ryan looked at you both confused.

"What's going on"? He sat beside you. Your knee began to shake. Another nervous tick.

"Nothing gosh, shouldnt you be in there with your future wife"? You yelled getting up from the table storming back inside.

"Smooth Y/N Smooth". Josh said as you disappeared.

"What's that all about"? "Did you hurt her"? Balz was taken back by the question.

"Are you fucking serious"?

"She seems distressed".

"You can look at her when she's distressed but you can't look at her and tell she fucking loves you".

"Um..wha..did she say that"? Ryan stuttered.

"If she wore a neon yellow sign you still wouldn't see it. She could dance naked and you still wouldn't see. "Your so far up slutkowski ass to notice". Balz couldn’t say the name with out a laugh. He didn’t know how you said it with out laughing.

"She loves me"? Ryan mouthed.

"Yes". "So you need to go after her and tell her how you feel".

"What are you getting at? I'm with slutkowski as you and Y/N so nicely put it".

"Do you remember that day at the barbeque? You saw Y/N in that purple bikini and said how it made her curves show and that she looked beautiful. You were confessing your love for her but didn't know".

"I was being friendly".

"Right and I have two dicks".

"Well I know you're lying cause I've unwillingly seen you naked hundreds of times".

"So get off your ass and go get her".

Ryan didn't hesitate. He searched for you until he saw you loading up the equipment into the trailer.

"Y/N". He called out running over to you. Out of breath Ryan tried to talk.

"I...ove...ou..oo".

"Catch your breath. You really need to lay off the cigarettes". You put a guitar into the trailer and sat down on the bumper.

"I love you too".

"Excuse me"? Your ears may have been damaged by Chris's screaming but did he just say he loved me?

"I love you. That feels so good to get off my chest".

"What? How?".

"I was talking to Balz and he said I needed to get off my ass and tell you how I feel".

"We should thank him but he needs to mind his own business". You got up and started to load more equipment up.

"Are you mad"?

"No, I just wanted you to figure it out on your own".

"I needed a push. I was with that in there".

"Oh Mrs. Slutkowski"?

"Nice name by the way. Why didn't you try and stop me"?

"Have you met yourself? You're stubborn as a mule".

"But now I'm not and I want you".

"Shouldn't you tell that"? You pointed to her as she came out. Ryan didnt see her.

"I will but I have to tell you how I feel".

"About what Ry Ry"? You heard he annoying voice.

"Oh shit". Ryan turned around seeing her with his hoodie on.

"Um.. Can I get some help"? He asked you. Ryan hated confrontation.

"Sure Ry Ry. Listen he's leaving you so you should leave and the hoodie stays. Okay good bye".

"You bitch!" She started smacking Ryan who was helpless.

"Whoa whoa". You got her off and stood in between them.

She swung her arm and clobbered you in the head with her fist.

You reacted fast and tackled her to the ground. You werent doing no cat fight shit. You threw punches and ground your knees into her sides. Bitch was going down.

"Guys"!!! Ryan screamed. He couldn't handle you as he was getting hit from trying to pull you off.

Chris, Balz and Ricky came running out. Balz and Ryan tried pulling you off but you were hooked to her still throwing punches.

"Let go of her Y/N". Ryan pleaded. You released your grip on her and backed away.

She laid there bloody with strands of hair laying around her. You may have did a little cat fight.

"You okay". Ryan asked as he cupped your face. She had gotten in a few blows one to your eye another to your lip and you thought she punched you in the boob cause it hurt.

"Yeah, I'm cool. Just get her out of here".

"You'll regret this". She spat at you. Throwing the hoodie at Ryan.

"Damn Y/N you whooped her ass. Great job". Balz high fived you. You got a little blood on him. "Ew". He looked at his hand when he went back inside.

"You nailed her". Ryan chuckled.

"Are you sure you can handle me"?

"Yes". Ryan looked at you oddly.

"You had to call in back up".

"You were throwing punches at me too". Ryan laughed.

"Oh sorry about that". "You okay"?

"Yeah, I'm better with you". Ryan stepped closer to you resting his hands on your waist.

"I'm not easy to handle and I will get in a fight if someone touches you".

"I've known you a long time. I know how you are and I'm prepared to stand by your side".

You bit your lip with a grin. "I love you too".

Ryan leaned in about to kiss you. You stopped him with your hand.

"I want to kiss you so badly but I'm bloody and you've kissed her so maybe we'll try this after I shower and you have gargled bleach".

"Okay". Ryan kissed your head.

"I can't wait to tell mom".

"She always said we'd get together but didn't tell us how".

"Yeah it would have been a nice warning if it was going to be a fight".

"Now what's the fun in that if she would have told us"?

"There would have been less drama and no blood shed also I wouldn't have dated her". "Then I would be able to kiss you".

"Oh come here". You kissed his lips fast. Wiping them off with the inside of your shirt.

"Happy"?

"Very much". Ryan smirked walking back into the building his hand in yours. Your secrets were out and slutkowski gone now you couldn't be happier.

[guess-ill-die-again]

top ten kagepro songs?? 0:

*rubs hands* u now i read your whole wall of text about this? well now its my turn c:

warning half of this post is just about Shinigami Record bc i’m looking WAAY too deep into it but honestly i love doing that gbdhsg that part has over 500 words and im not sorry

Disclaimer: The first few don’t have numbers bc I just CANNOT choose a favorite ok ngsdhjgs

Shinigami Record - I’m gonna start with this one because i was already planning on making a post about how underappreciated this song is… half of this post is probably gonna be about this song alone so i might as well put it as nuumbr one tbh

Musically it’s really simple and just so amazingly gentle. I feel like the slow piano and the way its played in the verses helps to convey Azami’s feelings really well. It starts as just a bunch of lonely piano notes, but then as Azami finds someone who loves her, feelings grow and change, so does the guitar replace the piano for the second verse. Then the harmonies for the part when Azami creates the Kagerou Daze make it feel not only more mystical but also give it more emotion. She creates it filled with love for her family after all, this part needed to have a lot of emotion in it! But then it quiets down and the lonely piano returns.. the guitar and piano interlace each other(i cant find a good english word for it im sorry) while Azami’s voice is growing more unsure and then ‘gasps’ with the realization, in a way. The harmonies return and we hear both the lonely piano and the love-filled guitar. Azami is really conflicted and u can HEAR that!! Then it bursts with the pitch change and you can just hear how heartbroken she is! the highest note really reminds me of when people are trying to sing but they’re crying so their technique is egh but it has so much emotion?? idk maybe its just IAs voice… and then after she sings “I still love you” theres a drop that sounds like slamming doors and the guitar is GONE. It ends on the same lonely piano we started with(different pitch blahblah i know ok) but there’s also the added noise that you can either hear traffic in, OR the sea/ocean waves. I KNOW im reading way too much into this but traffic could allude to our time, where the main story is set and the fact that what Azami did has consequences reaching much further than she could have ever imagined but also that despitwat happened, most people don’t even know about her story and everythings… well, normal. The sea waves would be just like the world she’s come to love and she’s leaving it all behind i guess lolThe way this song tells Azami’s story is uh, very simplified, but i think it works well. It gives you enough information to feel sorry for her even if it doesn’t really explain much. We only see Azami’s perspective so i’m not surprised or disappointed that reasons behind Tsukihiko’s disappearance arent really stated. Also i’m kind of glad it doesn’t delve deeper into the story, because i personally really didn’t like these chapters of the manga at all lol bc i didnt agree with the characterization and it didnt show Azami’s loneliness as much and kind of ruined the magic. I like Azami’s story when its still told as a kind of fairytale…This is also probably THE best Kagepro song in terms of tuning, too. idk what happened but i feel like here it’s much more soft than the other songs which makes it all the more enjoyable.

one day i’ll write a full essay on this…

I’m not gonna go that deep into any of the other ones dont worry

Remind Blue - Easily the best song on the Mekakucity Reload album. While i adore Additional Memory as well, my heart belongs to Remind Blue. Because the range isn’t that big, Miku’s voice and Jin’s tuning of don’t get overbearing. Im also a sucker for lyrics connecting to past events or symbols so the whole time reading the translation i was just lying in bed like kermit surrounded by heart emojis. I may or may not make a cover of this one…

Lost Time Memory - I feel like all that could be said about this song has already been said so I’ll just say i love it. I was introduced to it through Juby’s english cover(Classical Rock Arr. version!! thats important, i love this arrangement probably more than the original but the dude who made it just doesnt have a nice voice for this song… Juby’s not perfect but this cover’s good enough) an really this is the song that made me want to learn about Kagepro so there’s a lot of pure nostalgia connected to this one.

4. Ayano’s Theory of Happiness - whenever i tell someone new about kagepro i always say this is the song that makes me cry and laugh the hardest. I laugh a lot because of the tv anime version bc lmao every time i see it i LOSE IT gndnsdgs The reason i cry is quite obvious i think, but i still feel the need to specify it’s because of the lyric “so I hope you can love tomorrow”. It’s just such a simple thing but it makes me tear up 99% of the time. And like the thing is, the last couple of lines aren’t directed at any particular character either so its like she’s singing to us. She hopes we can love tomorrow as well… and just for you Ayano, I will try.

Also MARiA’s cover is the best one i barely listen to the original now lmao

5. Summertime Record - did i mention im a sucker for lyrics where the character is looking back at what happened? bc yeah i am. This song is really dear to my heart for some reason so much so that when at a camp with the choir ive been in for like 6years we were supposed to make a little song about it for the last campfire, i managed to get my friends to write the lyrics to this song with me and i think that in itself is very fitting to this song. and just.. yeah the whole thing just feels very welcoming and I love Haruka so

6. Children Record - BOYS👏 AND👏 GIRLS👏 yeah this song staight up slaps and i love it (altho i mostly listen to the version with MARiA bc the tuningin this one :’) its realy good go listen) and uh yeah its just a really good opening to the series! idk what to say exactly so uh really lets not drag this out

7. Additional Memory - so when this song came out i had to lay down for like a week bc just… woah yeah ok!! all the motifs and melodies from other songs just hit me so HARD and THE PV OH MY GOOOD i was SCREAMING! and youre absolutely right about the lyrics!! “if this were all a misunderstanding, i don’t want to hear it” just HITS and HURTS and GOD YEAH

8. Kagerou Days - ahh classic above classics…. the one where you’ve set your expectations for Hibiya to just be a good childhood friend only to have it be crushed by other media… its just a great base for angsty AUs for anytwo cahracters that care about each other really and i love it! also like when i first listenedi was like what and when i realized whats happening i was just…  poetic cinema guy but with hearts i really love angst huh

9. Headphone Actor - I don’t know what to say apart from I love Takane, I love the whole Harutaka story, I love the metaphor and the music and I have a little lesbian moment every time i listen to LiSA’s version of the song(THE WAY SHE SHINGS “Dokoka e to mukatteru”??? IM TOO GAY FOR THIS SHIT I CANT) and its 3:30am so i cant think anymore okbut god i love LiSA’s voice

10. Never Lost Word - ah the kinnie really jumps out here lmao this is the song i listened o and was just !! it me!! which… NOT a good thing if not for the last verse lol but yeah i just identify with kido a lot so like…i just really felt this song back when i first listened to it and even now i still do… just… yeah. and i just really like it in every way i guess lol

ALSO Shoutout to Gunjo Rain and Dead and Seek for beeing other tragically underappreciated Kagepro songs bc they dont have PVs

[abundantchewtoys]

HS Epi: Meat p12 reaction

Back to Earth C presumably.

I gotta say, I'm curious to find out the final page count of Meat. The way we liveblog, the experience is stretched out, so with theories surfacing and such, we might be caught off guard when things are really over. There's only so far that things will be taken, though I guess we're still in for those "original Male/Female characters", I guess. :P That shouldn't refer to the new Reload timeline John created, I think, with copies of all the people mentioned in the rest of the character list. So, uh, yeah, guess the reason Arquiusprite wasn't mentioned in there was because he remained unseen, voided out if you will. And I guess we shouldn't expect an alternate Equius to have a talking role, either?

---

==>

Well! Talk about jumping straight into the action, this page opens with a dialoguelog! Back to Dave, Karkat and if my eyes didn't deceive me, we'll get some lines for Jade, too! Supportive Jade will be supportive.

"hit jane right in her neoliberal austerity measures" ... Hah. Well, I didn't think that would get referenced again at all, but it seems after all these years since John's 18th birthday Dave still has issues with the ol' N.A.M. So, Jane's a neoliberal AND a fascist now, Dave? Is that... even feasible?

"DAVE: now shes gonna spin some shit about supply side economics but we cant let her control the narrative on that one cause the first thing thats gonna happen once she begins deregulating the baking industry is that some sweet dumb crocodile down in consort land is gonna start putting sparkle glue in the cupcake mix which isnt even the real issue thats just surface issues KARKAT: RIGHT. JADE: definitely" ... Like, Dave I admire you're getting so into this, but you realize they aren't following, right? Also, why would Jane want to deregulate the baking industry if she's the leader of the foremost power in said industry, as well as running for president? Plus, Jane can't control the narrative because Caliborn is already controlling it! :mspa:

"DAVE: i mean earth c has just been play acting capitalism the last five thousand years while we timeskipped ahead to live rad lives as gods without bothering with any of the boring shit that goes into making a civilization DAVE: which is fine i mean you cant really expect a bunch of teens who didnt finish middle school to set up a sustainable form of social democracy that isnt just blatantly ripped off whatever we incorrectly thought obama god rest his soul was doing back in the day" ... Gee, Dave's given this a real lot of thought. Props to him, but I hope that aside from becoming 'an activist' he's also got some legitimite action points to improve Earth C's situation.

Guess Sburb really does a number on players, huh? "Congrats, you won, you're all gods now, and also, here's this whole civilization on the brink of collapse, have fun with that. Don't mess this up, I need those people to start the apocalypse in say, 2000 years, k thx bye." (The fact that this civilization, being outside of the Green Sun's influence, may never implement Sburb, is a bit besides the point since I think the trolls would have had the same issue tossed onto them had they actually gone through the victory door.)

Right, but the trolls had their home planet already effectively run by children, I wonder if that will come again? Even though they had carpenter droids at their disposal to run some things for them, they might actually be a bit more self-reliant than the humans!

"DAVE: but janes got this old school mentality you just know she wants to restrict grist alchemy for the sake of “growth” and when that goes down itll take three seconds flat for some nobody in new dersetown to drop the earth c communist manifesto" ... New Dersetown, I like the ring of that. Would call it New Dersey for short, though. :P Again, valid points there, Dave! If any revolt started, it doesn't have to be in the troll community, it could just as much be an angry carapace uprising! They're only docile if there's no one to rally behind.

Blaperile has this idea that the new society in a universe is not supposed to be seeded with the remains of the session nor the universe that came before it. That's actually a valid point; the only reason this society got kickstarted was through the cloning apparatus that was on the meteor! The consorts and carapaces seem like they would be able to reproduce biologically though, so I'm not sure how Sburb normally ensures the planet is a clean slate for a new species to emerge. ... Okay, so the planet itself doesn't really need to be the place where a new Sburb-playing species rises, true. There's a whole new universe out there.

Maybe through "importing" old Sburb technology, the "alpha" planet designation went to Earth C automatically, though.

Or maybe First Guardians are expected to 'cleanse' the planet from outside influence normally, but since this society's outside of the Green Sun's influence, that ain't happening. And Jade won't be going Thanos on Earth C.

"KARKAT: OH YEAH. JADE: of course DAVE: are you two even listening or are you just making noises with your mouths" Dave realizing he's monologuing? What character development is this. :O

"KARKAT: I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M BEING ACCUSED BY DAVE STRIDER, REIGNING EMPEROR OF SPEWING ENDLESS VERBAL DIARRHEA DIRECTLY INTO MY INNOCENT HEAR DUCTS EVERY DAY OF MY FUCKING LIFE, OF MAKING THOUGHTLESS MOUTH NOISES. KARKAT: JADE, ARE YOU HEARING THIS? JADE: im scandalized JADE: especially when JADE: there are much better things we could all be doing with our mouths....." ... Jade, your animes are showing again. ... I think that maybe Jade doesn't want this relation to be going where Dave and Karkat want it to go.

"It’s been a really nice day they’ve been having, and then Jade had to go say something like that. The air in the hive changes in a way that is palpable, in a way that she can’t seem to accurately gauge despite having both superhuman and superdog senses." ... Ah. So I guess maybe Jade just can't get a lid on some of her more... canine inclinations, at time. Welp!

"Elements of her outfit resemble her god tier jammies: peasant skirt, sparkly flats, and a bold choice in striped tights." Nice! That's only the third person who created an outfit based on her god tier outfit that we know, aside from Meenah and Rose.

"the couch where she crashed last night, and the night before that, and the better part of the seven years before that." It would seem Jade has the wanderlust then, she's more like the vagrant dog that comes visiting from time to time? More GCAT in demeanor than Becquerel, in practice. Heheh. Good for her, after being isolated on an island and then a battleship for so long, she's finally going out & seeing things!

"There are other personal effects of hers in the living room too: plants on the windowstill, her bass guitar sitting in a corner" Cool, so when she comes over, she typically lounges here then. Guess the flute never made it over, though. :p

"a horrific-looking periodic table that Dave made her for her seventeenth birthday pinned above the stairwell. He typed it in Comic Sans, and then deep-fried it to oblivion with JPEG artifacts." ... Next up, on For Fans By Fans...

"And Dave, with his preternaturally perfect timing, sweeps a hand over his tablet to bring up a new PowerPoint slide on the TV. He returns to his Comic Sans-written political presentation, gruesome artifacts and all" Dave, Dave that isn't professional at all!

", with the grace and proficiency of a man who has diffused an awkward situation in his own household many times per day, every day, for many years." Well, okay, that is really mature. But when Dave is the adult in a situation, the situation is very awkward per definition.

"DAVE: alternia: brutal eugenics based space dictatorship KARKAT: NOT UNTRUE." Succinct, brutal, but not dishonest.

"DAVE: troll homeworld: lord of the flies nightmare scenario where kids murder each other just to get the chance to get to grow up and murder other aliens instead KARKAT: IT WASN’T THAT BAD." Karkat. Karkat that isn't a valid rebuke.

"KARKAT: YOU MADE THAT LAST ONE UP. KARKAT: ALSO, IT WAS DISGUSTING?? KARKAT: GROW THE FUCK UP, YOU UTTERLY CONTEMPTIBLE, POTTY MOUTHED *CUNT*." ... The irony is stark.

"JADE: also you know trolls dont actually have two dicks dave thats an offensive stereotype" Are we really doing troll anatomy? Well, I guess it's good to know that the fan theory about Sollux at least isn't applicable to the entire species.

"DAVE: trolls: literally ate babies KARKAT: ONLY THE DEFECTIVE ONES. DAVE: like you my dude KARKAT: ...YEAH. DAVE: so thats why our campaign can work" Yeah, Karkat ate grubs, though they weren't troll babies. Also, yeah, Karkat was a mutant, but I wonder if that would really help his case here.

"DAVE: btw im gonna be giving a long form exam at the end of this to make sure youre retaining info because this is only like the most important thing weve ever done collectively" Well he ain't wrong.

"KARKAT: ARE YOU ASKING ME WHETHER I’VE HEARD THIS EXACT SPEECH ALMOST WORD FOR WORD, INCLUDING REHEARSED VERSIONS OF BOTH THE COLORFUL METAPHORS AND “JOKES,” TEN OR TWENTY TIMES ALREADY? KARKAT: BECAUSE THE ANSWER WOULD BE KARKAT: YES, OF COURSE I FUCKING HAVE." Poor, poor Karkat.

"Karkat elbows Dave in the thigh, a move that is obviously meant to be an action of pure, brotherly jest. But instead it comes off as affectionate and overly intimate. Jade’s clever eyes don’t miss this. Her pupils follow the motion of Karkat’s arm, and then they follow the movement of Dave’s mouth as he smiles in what he probably thinks is a totally neutral expression that reveals exactly 0% of his true feelings toward Karkat Vantas. In reality, his veneer is as thin and transparent as cellophane. He is the only person who can’t see through it.

Jade does some calculations in her head. Two kinds of calculations, in fact: mathematical ones and personal ones." So, is Jade reading too much into their relationship, or are the dudes just... Both too shy?

"JADE: soooooo JADE: do you want a projection of her first years hit on the economy down to the decimal with a 0.3% margin of error JADE: because thats a thing i can do if itll make you stop talking about this stupid election for ten minutes" I didn't know that were First Guardian powers! :p I suppose it might be her natural intellect though, but we've only known her as the hands-on science type until now.

"She proceeds to dazzle the two boys with explications on complex math utilizing taxation rates, GDP figures, and some damned thing called the “Laffer curve,”" Dang, Jade is as much committed to this as Dave! (Or maybe she learned all this because it means so much to him, that could be it too!)

"The thing about Jade Harley is that she’s not as good at personal things as she is at other things. Like science, or mastering fraymotifs, or kissing, the last of which she has definitely put a lot of levels into over the past few years because, well, what else are you supposed to do with immortal godhood once you hit the age where the dog hormones start kicking into overdrive?" Guess for dogs, kissing isn't that personal. :p And well, I guess Jade's only now learning the real consequences of turning into a real-life furry. At least she won't have had lack of candidates to practice kissing with. She might even have become the Witch of Spacing Out Young Adults.

"Her high-prescription lenses make her eyes look anime-huge. They might literally be glittering, she’s so completely serious about the issue she is trying to stress." And the fan artists rejoiced for all the new descriptions they have to work with!

" JADE: im about to lay out some cold hard evidence so pay attention! KARKAT: OH, HANG ON, LET ME GET A PEN." You can't live together with Dave for years without learning when it's time to start taking notes and grab a fucking pen.

"JADE: evidence about..... JADE: our relationship! KARKAT: FUCK" Pfff, okay, never mind. I think Jade might have hit a wall several times over before, trying to either define their relationship or take it to the next level. These dudes are really sensitive about their feelings, after all.

But it would be interesting, learning Jade wants to know where they stand just as much as the outside world does.

"JADE: you let me live in your hive when im in town KARKAT: I CAN’T BELIEVE... JADE: im preeeetty intimately entwined in both your lives KARKAT: THAT YOU’RE JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS? JADE: AND you dont disengage from about 86.234% of my flirtations KARKAT: WAIT, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU KEEP TRACK OF SOMETHING LIKE THAT? JADE: so....... are we doing this or not?" So, just like with taking on Lord English and acknowledging the lit fuse that is Earth C society, I guess the coming around of April 13th 2019 is when Jade had enough of all this silly business and wants to know what's what. (Also, I suppose the level of intimacy they shared on beforehand will be left to speculation.)

"KARKAT: DOING WHAT?! JADE: dating dummy!!!!!!!! KARKAT: OH. KARKAT: THAT IS KARKAT: THAT IS... A COMPLICATED TOPIC IN MY CULTURE THAT I’M NOT SURE HUMANS ARE EQUIPPED TO TALK ABOUT." Smooth, Karkat, real smooth. Maybe Karkat fears commitment will lead to some of their relationships shifting into other quadrants. And he wouldn't like to be moirails or auspistices with either of them.

"DAVE: also totally unrelated to the economy" ... Nice try Dave, but I think this can't be steered back into that track.

"DAVE: which not gonna lie is the only thing i want to talk about for uh DAVE: for however long it takes for this other conversation to stop happening JADE: so say no!!! DAVE: well KARKAT: UHHHHH JADE: im not just forcing this conversation for my sake! its for you two as well JADE: i mean after all this time have you two even kissed yet?????? DAVE: wha" I think Dave and Karkat might actually have been both content to stay uncommitted and fearful to put a label on it. Also Jade's question will presumably remain unanswered, it's already surprising it's confirmed she hasn't seen them kissing. And that is ignoring the matter of whether either Dave or Karkat kissed Jade before. I guess it's only fortunate for this situation that this instance of Jade never dated Davesprite, it would only complicate things further.

"DAVE: wha KARKAT: WH-WHY WOULD DAVE: uhh KARKAT: WHY WOULD WE KISS?? DAVE: thats KARKAT: THAT’S... YOU... I MEAN, HE’S... HE’S DAVE. DAVE: we KARKAT: AND I’M KARKAT." PFffffffff, hilarious! I can just see them blushing like tomatoes right now. Can't keep staying in denial bros!

"JADE: yes hes dave and youre karkat and everyone we know always calls you that JADE: “dave and karkat”" Hah! Yeah, but they also think you're part of the item, Jade. Care to shed some thoughts on the subject?

"JADE: i cant remember the last time i heard anyone mention one of you without the other JADE: the two of you have basically been together since your days on the meteor its SO obvious" Jade has turned this from a personal matter into a fandom matter. "Everyone and their dog knows you're dating, guys! Stop pretending otherwise!" It's interesting to note the different ways Dave has been seen handling relationships. When he dated Terezi in the GO timeline, it went south due her troubles in the black quadrant. When Davesprite dated Jade, it went south due to unresolved Dave issues, presumably having to do with his bros. With Karkat, Dave's been in a stable-ish thing for the longest time, though.

" KARKAT: VERY CLOSE FRIENDS WHO UNDERSTAND AND SUPPORT EACH OTHER ON A DEEP AND EMPATHETIC LEVEL THAT GOES BEYOND HATE OR PITY. YOU COULD EVEN SAY THAT OUR RELATIONSHIP... KARKAT: ...TRANSCENDS QUADRANTS." ... PFfffffff, so this could have been what it was like for the Sufferer and the Disciple, then! They were just never ready to commit? That would actually be funnier than it being this deep and fulfilling relationship. It would also make Doc Scratch' misgivings on the relationship even more hilarious.

"JADE: yeaaaaaah not gonna lie karkat but that sounds totally kinda gay KARKAT: UGH YOU HUMANS AND YOUR UNFATHOMABLE GENDER BASED QUADRANTS." ... Heh. Actually. Too trolls, the whole gender-based romance thing we have going must indeed be as unfathomable as leprechaun romance.

"Jade faceplams." Well that's a new verb. ;) What part of the body is the 'plam', exactly?

" KARKAT: ANYWAY WEREN’T YOU... DATING THAT CARAPACIAN COUPLE? LAST TIME WE CHECKED?" Lolwut. Jade. Jade are you... are you being a Ms. Casanova, a paramour or two in every city you frequent? If WV and PM turn out to be alive for the sole purpose of dating Jade, I'll choke on my drink.

" DAVE: wait you saying we arent fun JADE: whens the last time either of you left the house??????" I know Jade means it as in, she'd like to date them for keeps. But I also fulheartedly believe Dave and Karkat can sustain themselves on delivery pizza and chinese chow.

"In her other hand, she tries to grab Dave’s wrist, but he flash-steps to the other side of the couch." Well that's a new use of the power, guess Dave must really have felt alarmed. :p

"JADE: i wanna try dating for real KARKAT: HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED KARKAT: SORRY IF WHAT I’M ABOUT TO SAY TOTALLY BLOWS YOUR MIND KARKAT: DATING A SINGLE PERSON, FOR MORE THAN HALF A SWEEP, FOR REASONS OTHER THAN INITIATING THE CONCUPISCENT EXCHANGE OF FLUIDS?" Karkat is trying to throw the issue back into Jade's face by saying she should try dating for a longer period of time. But that's exactly what she's trying to do here! She knows who she wants that with! That poor little troll, he's not getting out from under this.

"JADE: third of all karkat arent you from a culture where people are expected to engage in romantic relationships with up to like five people at a time?? KARKAT: THAT’S NOT KARKAT: THAT’S NOT THE SAME THING AT ALL." If he's trying to avoid getting dragged into quadrants with people, he should stop upholding the validity of the quadrants to hold people off. :p

"DAVE: ok jade i think theres a flaw in your approach here cause you seem to think winning an argument on super clever logical grounds is gonna get a couple dudes to break down and fling themselves at you in like, a sexual way JADE: wellll it usually does ;B DAVE: oh my fucking god" So she swoons people by way of her big brain. Jade's got CLASS.

"This earns Dave a look. A long, sad one that has Jade messing with her glasses again so that she can peer right at him and apply some more of that faulty personal math to his facial expression." Just confirmation here that Jade isn't necessarily correct in all her assessments due to not being objective.

"JADE: dave are you in love with obama? DAVE: jade jesus where do you get this shit from JADE: is it about jesus then??????" Aaaaaand this has been derailed again.

"DAVE: no! DAVE: jesus wasnt even real JADE: i know he wasnt real! JADE: wait... JADE: are you saying JADE: obama was real? DAVE: ... DAVE: yes" Wut. Wai- I- Jade. Honey. Please. Guess for all her involvement in politics since, those isolated years on the island sheltered her WAY too much.

"DAVE: obama was real DAVE: he was the president KARKAT: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA JADE: all this time i thought obama was like JADE: an aspirational fictional character that you modeled your life after KARKAT: AHAHAHAHA I CAN’T AHAHA BREATHE... JADE: like snoop dog or nicolas cage" ... Jade. Jade no. You're just making this worse on yourself. For Jade, there would have been almost nothing in Homestuck she'd have seen as a reference to 'real life', would there?

"senary numeral systems that allow me to do complex equations in my head" ... Why is Base 6 good for complex equations? I'm probably not good enough at math to know.

"KARKAT: WHY IS IT LIKE SOME SORT OF *TRAGEDY* HOW SHE WAS RAISED? KARKAT: BECAUSE SHE WAS RAISED ALONE BY AN ANIMAL?? KARKAT: *I* WAS RAISED ALONE BY AN ANIMAL!" There! It's getting acknowledged again, how Jade's upbringing more resembles a troll than a human's! Becquerel the lusus.

"There’s a ripple in the room that makes it clear their god tier powers have just clashed against each other. He shifts his arm through time and Jade warps the space around them so that she’s the one holding the tablet. This is not the first time that they have rearranged the fabric of reality for a petty reason like this. Karkat has permanently sworn off playing board games with them." ... Lol. First real use of the god tier powers in Earth C, and it goes like this! Wait, couldn't Jade have snapped... Right, no, she actually wouldn't have First Guardian powers anymore now, I forgot. Still, what did Dave try to do, move the tablet to another point in the timeline?

"The moment Jade brings the paint program up on the television, Karkat stops laughing. KARKAT: NO!" Oh boy. Time for the Penis Quadrant scene, this time with three people. ... This would actually fall under both definitions of a "sketch", actually.

"He tries to grab the tablet from her, but she’s hovering well above the ground and he simply is not tall enough to reach. With a shit-eating grin and deliberate care, Jade begins to draw a grid." He's going to jump up to grab her leg, to disturb the drawing, isn't he?

"She gives Karkat a pair of fuzzy, angry eyebrows" Now I'm starting to think of the Karkat expressions in that one Paradox Space.

"all he accomplishes is turning the redrom trajectory between her and Dave into a redrom loop-de-loop." This is all I could want from a reprise of this scene.

"JADE: see me and karkat have great black chemistry! KARKAT: IT IS NOT BLACK CHEMISTRY YOU HORRID NON-CHITINOUS WINDBAG!" A+ denial there, Karkat, props on the response.

"JADE: and now that daves all chill hed make a great auspistice" Jade just wants all Karkat's quadrants filled by the three of them, somehow.

"JADE: because you and karkat are kind of like moirails DAVE: no JADE: and you and i JADE: well yknow its always been pretty flirty DAVE: jade JADE: EXCEPT!

Jade finishes drawing a shaky heart directly into the paint program. It’s so big and bright on the TV that it fills the entire room with red light." She's putting all these names and symbols to the relationship, it might just be too much for these poor boys to handle. :p

"JADE: i call this political arrangement: JADE: fully automated luxury polyamorous space-time communism!!!!!!!" That is not the shipping name I would've chosen, but it's the shipping name we deserve. And hey, communism! Get it? Cause Karkat had a sickle.

I wonder what Karkat's take on polyamory outside of the ashen quadrant is, actually.

"Jade rolls her eyes and tosses both the tablet and pen over her shoulder. Dave flashes across the living room to catch his very expensive computing device in both arms. The pen bounces off his forehead." This. Entire. Scene.

"JADE: i have to go talk to roxy and callie about the election anyway" Well, she's going to let them stew on this for a while. But I'm eager to find out who Roxy & Calliope would back. You might think Jane's a given, but if she's been busy maybe they have grown closer to Jade & Dave!

"Jade clicks her heels together to propel herself back into the air and actually winks at them before absconding through an open window." Think happy thoughts! Also, I just realized becoming a god sadly never gave Karkat the powers of flight.

"Dave and Karkat both stare after her, silently caught in their own private rationalization spirals.

Karkat needs to verbalize part of his out loud." Ah, but can they stay in that spiral or will they have no choice but to break out of it?

"KARKAT: WANNA PLAY SOME TROLL TONY HAWK? DAVE: hell DAVE: yeah" Yyyyyeaah, they are not going to have changed when Jade comes back, will they?

So even Karkat calls it "Troll Tony Hawk", not whatever absurdly wrong name it'd have on Alternia, and not whatever Tony Hawk's duodecimal name in Alternian would be. :P

[eshtarwind]

Tokyo 7th Sisters: Episode Queen of Purple Novel Summary Part 1

It’s a bit late but I decided to write the summary of QoP Novel because I REALLY NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO and I cannot wait for the full translations to be out so that you guys can read it (but really, you should really read the full translations once it is out—pssst it is on the way–because Furuse Fuu is a really good writer and also because some details are just precious). Anyway, without further ado, the Novel Summary will be under the cut!

Warning!!!!! Even if I said “summary”…. I did not intend to make it as short as possible as opposed to writing everything I remember.

Prologue: Summer Day Crossroads

This chapter isn’t about QoP, but 4U. So 4U management, which usually let them do what they want, came up with the idea of them doing their major debut to get inside professional musician chart. Because they will be going to the Pro music field, Ume went like sure lets do it with a new song. With the image of the majority of music theme in Pro musician tier being love song, which also seems to reverberate with much of the population, Ume decided to make their major debut song as a love song.

There was only one problem: Ume has never fallen in love. Or any of 4U members, in that case. When Ume presented her song to both Emoko and Hina, none of them approved it–not even Hina. Both agreed that the music itself is great and that with Hina’s drums and Emoko’s bass it will be well polished but the lyrics are so cringeworthy that Emoko even dared if Ume even have the balls to sing such embarrassing lines. In the end, the flustered Ume then dragged the two of them to special brainstorming session to perfect the song. They even prepared to sleep in the studio for that purpose (Emoko should make it clear that she cooperate just so that Ume didnt drag all of them down with her incompetence or something). Anyway after hours of brainstorming, they perfected the song, but not the lyrics. With none having real experience in love, eventually Ume had the idea to just watch a romance movie for scientific purposes as inspiration. Even if tired, Emoko and Hina volunteered to also watch the movie with her. Sandwiched by them both, Ume said that she won’t allow them both to sleep or quit midway. By the end of the movie, however, only Ume woke up and the two had fallen asleep by both of her side.

The content of the movie aside, in the notes they had before they slept, there was one word that came up: Akogare = the feeling of admiration with longing/yearning. Falling in love seemed to be extremely close with that word. Ume could only remember that one time when she felt that feeling, along with heat in her heart, the feeling like something light up within her, it was when that woman  “Hey you rascaaal!!!–” Snapping back to reality, Ume then began go write according to those feelings

Anyway, one day Seto Ferb walked to her rendezvous place with her light music club. She passed the station and found out that there are a bunch of people gathering for something.Turned out, a newly debuted band named “4U” is having their Guerilla live by the station and apparently they were pretty famous already. The band then played their debut song: Watashi Ai 4U.

Her light music club friend called her and told her that there was a Guerilla live, which Ferb replied she knew it already as she was exactly at that place at the moment. Ferb actually took off her earphone, which plays Hanyuuda Mito’s songs, and she remarked how catchy and upbeat the song is.

“4U, eh? I will remember it.”

She said before going away.

~The end of Prologue~

Chapter 1. Are You Gonna Be My Rose?

Being scouted by the producer, by the reception space of 777 sisters studio, Ferb was listening to super rare unreleased version of Hanyuuda Mito song when someone asked her what she was listening. The first thing Ferb noticed from someone upon hearing them talk are their voices. Noting the voice and its owner, she answered that it was Hanyuuda Mito. Or rather, the song that supposed to be a 7th Sisters song, but did not--A super rare copy which only circulate once on the net before taken down. The one talking to her immediately understood which one and they both realized they liked Hanyuuda Mito, both with the same impression of Mito’s voice: like a wind overlooking somewhere form a high place…. or some kind. Anyway, It was how Ferb and Murasaki met the first time, the receptions of 777 stars when they have just been scouted by our Shihainin.

Fast forward to the present, Ferb was sitting at the park near Nanasis office. She was called by Shihainin but took a bit more time to go. Her song, which she poured her heart into making, was rejected by her light music club friends to play in the school festival. They did not say it was particularly bad, however it was true that they were just not interested in it, and wanted to do cover band instead of an original song. Ferb then dropped from the school festival, saying that they dont particularly need her, as there are other bassist to fill up the space and Ferb did not feel the drive to join them. The novel did not write if she was angry, or disappointed, and Ferb seemed to say it a matter of factly, where she did not blame anyone and that was just how it went: their taste just did not match. Finally she continued her walk but she met someone else on the way: Yumeno.

Apparently, Yumeno was also called by Shihainin just like her. They conversed as they go, and the novel reflected just how well Ferb brushed away Yumeno’s super excitement when it comes to cute girls (including her ofc). It seemed Ferb has some respect in Yumeno, because of Yumeno’s proficiency in her guitar and how she put her personality in her guitar (regardless of her reasoning to start playing–Which in Yumeno’s case was because of a manga character). Ferb remarked that to be proficient in the level that Yumeno was atm needed hardwork and Ferb commend her for that.

In Nanasuta, Shihainin explain that there would be 7th Christmas Rock Festival a few months from then aimed for rookie band, and he asked if both of them are interested. Shihainin said several times that it does not have to be that year, as it must be an original piece, a full band, and there would be an elimination round soon. Both girls were interested (More like, Yumeno would, if Ferb would), but considering it needed a full band and preparation and the fact that they did not have any additional band member and there was a need to make an original song fast, Shihainin said several times that there was no pressure. However, Ferb said that there was a song that they can use.

She gave them a listen to the song she had made for her light music club and both were extremely excited upon hearing it, saying how it sound like a pro. Ferb said she had an idea on who the vocalist should be but she had to ask her, however the problem was they had no idea who is proficient enough for drums. Shihainin said that recording backsound is allowed, but Ferb firmly said that it won’t be able to fully bring out the soul of her song. Finally, saying, again, that there is no pressure about joining the fest, they closed the meeting. After they did, Ferb apologized to Yumeno about singlehandedly deciding their decision to continue with the project, which Yumeno said that she agreed to it anyway, to there was nothing Ferb should worry about. They both then went to the place of their prospective vocalist.

Turned out, Ferb also had never been to Murasaki’s place before. It was not something she thought would have been necessary and naturally Murasaki also never invited her. Yumeno expressed her surprised, because she thought Murasaki and Ferb are close with each other. Ferb said they were, but for as long as Hanyuuda Mito and music was concerned. It seemed their topic of conversation rarely broaden to anything personal and never once has they ever thought of, say, having sleepover. Yumeno said that kind of relationship is okay too, that she still see it as moe (Ferb dismissed this as something she doesnt understand about Yumeno Number #whatever). With that, they finally arrived at EZ Bar, which displayed “close”. It was nearing dusk but the bar has not opened already, which speaks much of its costumers demography.

When they came into the bar, Ferb’s impression of the bar was that it seemed to have a different air than the atmosphere they used to be (you should pay attention to this in the novel, really, at how Ferb describes situations and atmosphere, it's soooo poignant. From the lights, the reflection on the floor, etc.). They found Murasaki cleaning the place and was surprised to find them there. Ferb explained about the circumstances and Murasaki said that Ferb should have been the first person to know what kind of music genre she usually sang and Ferb answered yes she did, it was Jazz and not Rock but I want you to sing my song and just you. Murasaki contemplated, and then she answered, that if it was for something in the near future, she cannot give a yes answer to the proposition.

~~ End of Chapter 1 ~~

Since this is getting long, I will stop by here. Thank you for reading, get ready for Part 2 later!

Continue to Part 2

[cityofnumbersix]

Electric Moment Chapter 4

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Eijirou's face visibly brightened at Midnight's word's of approval. He hadn't been very sure how this would go down. Midnight had a very strong personality. She liked to be in control, to handle everything with ease and without complaint from those involved. However, Bakugou didnt seem to be the sort of person who enjoyed following others orders, which might have been a problem. The fact that Midnight had chosen to look past this fault, meant that Bakugou had something she deemed far more important than his control issues.

Then, the later half of her sentence seemingly hit the entirety of the room at the same time.

"Two weeks?!" Denki gasped out, gripping his stick's between his fingers, eyes bulking as he turned himself toward's Midnight, "But we haven't practiced for over a month?"

"Bakugou hasn't played with us at all..." Hanta added softly, staring at the woman with the same dumbfounded expression as the rest.

"Well then he's just going to have to learn fast isn't he?" She hummed, reaching to pick up the coat she had discarded on top a mic-stand upon her entry, "You've already lost time. Dropping a guitarist hadn't exactly been in the schedule. If you don't want to lose your audience, we can't waste anymore time."

Kyoka clenched her fists tightly, staring down at her whitening knuckles. Midnight was right. In this day and age it was difficult to keep people's interest for an extended amount of time without a tremendous effort. Sure they had debuted top of the charts, and they had a pretty strong following, but who knew how many people they had lost during their brief absence. They had to come back as soon as possible.

Standing to her feet, Kyoka turned to direct Midnight with an unwavering look of determination, her eyes glowing brightly with a sense of obligation.

"We'll be ready in two weeks." She stated simply, her eyes glancing back at Bakugou, who up until now stood upon the platform in uncharacteristic silence, cradling his guitar. The moment he was addressed by Kyoka, he turned his eyes toward her, scoffing.

"Obviously." He grunted out confidently, snapping his head to look away from the group.

Midnight watched him from the corner of her eye, an impish smile pulling at the corner of cherry red lips. She generally had a fairly accurate radar that applied exclusively to good talent, and troublesome musicians. When Electric Moment had introduced their now ex-guitarist, she'd been less than impressed with his ora. In the end, she should have followed her instincts, in which she hardly ever didn't. It had been a lapse of judgement. She'd had too much pride in the fact she'd discovered a group with such a raw sound that she knew would make it big, that she'd entrusted them with the handling of a loose-unit boy who clearly couldn't be tamed.

But this time, things felt different. Although Bakugou's attitude was one of the openly worst she'd had to deal with, there was something about him that felt, safe. He clearly enjoyed music. She could tell from the way he played, the way his sound was a mash of many things she'd heard before, but also fell into a realm all it's own, much like Electric Moment themselves. She would leave him be for now, with the reassurance in the back of her mind that she wouldn't allow history to repeat itself. One wrong move, and he was gone.

"Well then I can trust I'll be hearing from you all in just over a week for a stage rehearsal." She explained, reaching for the doorknob, not bothering to look back at the group of young adults, "Don't disappoint me again."

With that, Midnight was gone, and the tension that had been constricting each member's breathing, released. Denki let out a dramatic sigh, turning towards Kyoka, the bands unnamed leader, almost as soon as he'd mangaged to catch his breathe.

"Two weeks is a pretty shitty amount of time." He whined, letting himself slide back against the wall of the studio, pressing his fingers through a mess of blood and black locks, "Even if we didn't have classes and work..."

"Then we better not waste any of our practice sessions." Kyoka simply stated, walking toward's Denki, leaning in to press her forehead into his, a reassuring gesture that they'd been performing since the age of five.

Denki let a slow breath escape his lips, squeezing his eyes shut as he leant himself against his friend's touch. His lungs filled completely with the sweet scent of daisies and oak, an aroma that was so purely Kyoka that it instantly allowed his mind to settle. It never took much to make Denki stressed. His anxiety had been an issue for him since his teen years, and even the smallest thing was capable to pushing him into a frenzy of fear and doubt. Kyoka was the only one who had ever been able to handle it, calming him enough that he could think straight, washing away the cloud of worry that often threatened to fog his mind.

Denki chuckled lowly under his breath, reaching to flick his index finger against Kyoka's temple, forcing her back and out of his space, "Yeah well you better worry more about yourself. Voice is getting a little rusty."

Kyoka pulled herself back, her eyes wide with shock. A broad smile from Denki began to blind her vision, causing her to growl out, lunging forward to begin punching at his arms with a gentle force, "You little shit! Not like you can talk! When's the last time you ever won at Karaoke, huh?"

Denki cackled, moving to dodge Kyoka's attempts to hit him, pulling his arms up in defence. He reached to wrap his larger hands around her wrists, the metal studs that spiked out from the leather bracelets that adorned her wrists, digging into his palms as he pushed at her, holding his body back from her assaults.

"Yo, dickheads!" Bakugou's voice boomed towards them, drawing them both out from their banter, the pair huffing softly from the excursion of energy that accompanied their tussle, "Can we knock the heterosexuality down a notch? You're gonna give me fucking nightmares."

Kyoka instantly pulled her hand toward her chest in a overdramatic display of shock, "How dare you Bakugou. I know we've only just met, but to accuse me of being...being a..." She called back, falling backwards to lay herself between Denki's legs, head falling back upon his shoulder, "A heterosexual?"

It was Eijirou who cracked first, coughing out a loud laugh, reaching to hold his own abdomen, squeezing his eye shut as he began to choke on air. The rest of them -bar Bakugou, swiftly followed, the room erupting in a sea of laughter.

"I'm gay as shit Bakugou, so you don't have to worry about me" Kyoka muttered between laughs, pushing herself to her feet, "But it's nice to know you feel comfortable enough to come out to us." She teased, watching Kirishima with subtle glances between him and the blond before her.

Bakugou's cheeks began to grow pink, his eyebrows drawing together. Kyoka had surely hit a mark with that one, but Bakugou was going to have to grow use to this level of playful teasing if he was planning to stay with them, which Kyoka was willing to do anything in order to achieve. Katsuki Bakugou was everything that Electric Moment had always needed. He was going to change the way this bands future panned out, but that didn't mean he was immune to some jabbing every so often. Watching this kid blow up was just going to be far too entertaining.

"Who fucking said I was coming out to you! Don't just assume things to midget bitch!" Bakugou cried, his cheeks burning almost as brightly as the fire in his eyes. Hot like the venom dripping from his words.

"Hm, don't worry buddy. The only straight person in this room is Hanta, and he's not gonna judge." Kyoka continued, her voice seeping with amusement as she watched Eijirou practically internally combust in the corner of the room, bombaraded with the new-found knowledge that Katsuki Bakugou, was in fact a huge queer like himself.

Bakugou's face only appeared to grow warmer. The sun struck image of a certain bright-haired snapchat mutual coming to mind in company of the small punk girl's sudden declaration.

"Regardless." Kyoka spoke again, moving to walk towards the platform, climbing up to stand at Bakugou's side, chin tilting ever so slightly to look him in the eyes, "Normally I would suggest you jump right in and we practice as a group, but my personal opinion is that you should spend some time working individually with the strings. You're a good player, but bands need to work together and I want to feel confident that you can work with our sound as much as we can learn to work with yours."

Bakugou said nothing as he watched Kyoka, eyes brimmed with curiosity. Maybe this was the first time he'd encountered someone who wasn't instantly afraid of him, someone who's who didn't have to warm to his boisterous exterior with time and patience, or maybe he was just far more stupid that Kyoka had originally thought. But he seemed to be listening at least, so that counted for something.

"I don't know if you bothered to pay attention last time, but my name is Kyoka Jirou, I'm the vocalist. I play guitar, but not in the band so thats not really important." She stated, before stepping back, beginning to motion a flat palm out in a polite gesture as she moved it from person to person, "Blondie is Denki Kaminari on drums. The one with the long hair is Hanta Sero, who was specifically briefed to message you about Midnight prior to you arriving today, which was suppose to eliminate the posibility of what occurred actually happening, but clearly he had better things to do."

Hanta flinched, flashing Kyoka an apologetic grin, listening as she moved on, "He's also guitar. I'm sure there's no need to introduce your pretty snapchat buddy Eijirou Kirishima over there, but he's bass, just so you know. You seem like a family name kind of guy, so we'll go with that for now. It's up to the guys on their own what happens from there."

Bakugou eyed each of them individually, lingering on Eijirou slightly longer than the other's, causing the red-head's abdomen to erupt in a series of somersaults, though the gaze really was only fleeting.

"As I said, I want you to take turns working with Hanta and Eiji on their own. It's the best way to get you integrated while the rest of us work on the music. We can play our old shit for this performance, but if we don't have any new material coming out Midnight is gonna be on our case. Got it?" Kyoka concluded, tilting her head to the side in question.

"Teach Shitty Hair and Soysauce Face to be less shitty. Learn your crap." Bakugou spoke roughly, leaning in ever so slightly to brush his nose against Kyoka's in a minute form of intimidation, "Crystal, boss."

"Good." Kyoka replied, smirking back at him, "Welcome to Electric Moment Bakugou, sure I can trust you not to majorly fuck it up."

--

Eijirou would be lying if he said he wasn't the least bit disappointed that it was Hanta that Bakugou had chosen to work with first. The idea that he could be sitting in the corner with a sex god, close enough to feel the vibrations from his guitar strings, was too much to allow him to concentrate on forming cords, or lyrics, or even words. His melancholic attitude must have been obvious, because rather than working themselves, Denki was spending his time pressing his finger against Eijirou's side, digging the digits against his rib cage.

"Aw, c'mon Eiji, I'm sure he's just too nervous to work with you straight up. Y'know, you would be by yourself, pressing close together, teaching each other how to flick each other's strings..." the blond teased, resulting in a firm smack against his chest, briefly winding him.

"Oh shut up Denki." Eijirou grumbled, with no real bite behind his words.

"Leave him alone Denki." Kyoka defended, her eyes not bothering to look up from where she was working on lyrics for a new song, "It's not his fault he has a guitarist fetish and a taste for nasty boys."

"I have neither of those things!" Eijirou cried, his face turning down in a pout.

"Jesus Shitty Hair can you shut you're trap?! Some of us are trying to practice!" Katsuki's voice shot across the studio, the direct attention causing Eijirou's bowel to fill with excited mirth, regardless of the scolding he'd received.

--

"Is he always like that?" Katsuki grumbled, eyes darting quickly from Kirishima across the room, who instead of heeding the other boy's warning, proceeded to turn and flash Katsuki a wide-toothed grin upon the mention of his own name.

Sero hummed, his fingers wandering along the edge of his guitar, eyes not once glancing up in Katsuki's direction. Katsuki assumed he was nervous, but it was annoying as all hell in a sense. It's hard to work with someone when they won't even bother to spare you a single glance.

"Eijirou has always been like that." Sero explained, a slight laugh escaping with his words, "Kyo and Denki like to wind him up though. When Mina isn't around to stop them he can get pretty rowdy about it. He's loud in general, and talkative."

Katsuki merely made a soft noise in response, to prove that he was listening. His eyes were instead focused upon Kirishima, who was back to working loudly with the other pair, his arms flailing wildly as he spoke, voice booming over the rest. His eyes were crinkled up happily as he spoke, and Katsuki had to divert his own in order to be able to fully process the emotions that it stewed inside him. He chose to focus back on his playing, strumming the strings lazily as he spoke.

"Not many bands these days have two guitarists..." He suddenly wondered aloud, "Why didn't you just step up to take lead? 'Tis not like you really like you dickhead's needed someone else."

Sero reached up to scratch at their back of his scalp, eyes darting towards the roof in an act of escape, "Huh...well, I guess I've never really been one for the spotlight. Midnight likes me...I think...well at least she likes what I add to the music...but I'm not the strong lead guitarist she was looking for in a band like this..."

Katsuki only snorted, rolling his eyes in regards to their boy's explanation, "Sounds like you think too fucking much."

"What? You don't think when you play?" Sero quarried, the question only working to make Katsuki feeling slightly irritated.

"Fuck thinking." He growled, beginning to move his fingers along his guitar with more force, "Don't need to think when you've got the music."

Sero allowed his eyes to linger as Katsuki began to play, something that the blond ignored quite easily. His eyes narrowly listened as Sero began to play along, his finger's moving from memory, where Katsuki's moved from his eyes on the music sheets at his feet. Fuck thinking. These fucker's did too much of that.

--

Practices continued like that for the rest of the week. They were sectioned sporadically amongst each of their individual class and work schedules, something that appeared easier for the original members, who in which had Midnight speak to their lecturers about working their assignments and attendance records around what she apparently wanted. This was clearly something what Bakugou was against, instead choosing to growl at the group about his need to study and work, which was something they all took into account when it came to the boy missing practices, and the fact that he would call on both Hanta and Eijirou at odd times to meet him at the studio to practice. This applied more to Hanta than Eijirou, who instead got most of his solo practice time with Bakugou, reduced to their group sessions, something that disappointed him greatly.

So it was a surprise when he heard his phone buzz with the familiar sound of a Snapchat notification as he sat lazily upon the floor of his, Denki and Kyoka's shared living space, finger's pressing loosely against the buttons of a PlayStation controller as he worked his way through another boss battle in Persona, something he now did with ease after weeks of playing the game nonstop during his free time.

Eijirou looked down at his phone, eyebrows raising in question. He wasn't going to lie, his Snapchat interactions with Bakugou had improved significantly since his reply on the first day of practice a few days ago, but they were nothing more than simple replies to certain snaps that he would post. A question about why he spent so much time goofing off in class instead of listening, a picture of the boy's guitar at practice telling him to focus when Kirishima Sanpped a picture of him from across the room. However, they were always replies. Not once had Bakugou initiated any kind of conversation with Kirishima by himself, unless it was scolding the boy in person.

So this, was new. Eijirou knew for a fact that he hadn't sent Katsuki anything this morning. He'd woken up around eleven, not bothering to change out of his pyjamas as he made himself a lazy breakfast of nato and left over rice, before settling down with his game after realising that neither Kyoka nor Denki were currently home. So why was he currently looking down at said angry boy's Snapchat handle, sitting unopened upon a notification sent only a minute or so prior?

Eijirou inhaled a steady breath as she reached to take the device between his fingers. His nerves buzzing as the wrapped his brain for a particular situation in which he may have made his blond, maybe crush, upset. His mind came up with nothing, which calmed him just enough to be able to open the snap without feeling as if his heart was going to explode from his chest.

BakuBAE

It was a picture of Bakugou's hand wrapped around the base of a disposable Starbuck's cup, something that occurred quite regularly in the blond boy's snaps. A favourite, Eijirou had concluded.

"Oi shithead, what are you doing right now?"

Scratch that, Eijirou's heart was about to escape through his mouth and possibility land to the floor before him, baring itself in all it's glory to his one true god. He didn't know which god that was exactly, but it was which ever one had blessed upon him this honour. Maybe it was Bakugou himself, which left Eijirou's gutt twisting at the concept of baring himself to Bakugou in such a way. He was a true embarrassment.

Eijirou quickly flipped his camera around to take a look at himself. His hair was a disorderly mess and he still had a segment of rice stuck to his jaw from his breakfast, which he quickly moved to wipe away. He wasn't exactly Snapchat ready, but Eijirou was never one to shy away from the front-face camera shot, just because he had a bit of bedhead and some eye bags, even if it was to a cute boy who was currently enquiring about his current status of behaviour.

Eijirou quickly snapped a picture his himself, hand pressed over his mouth, hair falling slightly over his facial features. He'd set the filter to a rather flattering one, which made his crimson eyes pop in a way that Eijirou enjoyed.

"Being lazy bro, u? (^O^)"

He hit send.

It was unusual for Eijirou is usually be cutesy. If anything, he tried to uphold himself as someone who was pretty damn manly to say the least. Mina was always praising him on his ability to make anything from a muscle-tee to a flowing crop-top look both masculine and gorgeous as hell, but there had always been something about boys.

Since Eijirou was younger, the moment he caught hold of any form of attraction towards someone of the same sex, his personality would to a full 180. He would go from the boisterous bicep-head who spent his time punching people in the arm as a friendly greeting, to sinking his teeth into his bottom lip, jutting his hip out slightly in a flirtatious manner that seemed almost completely out of character. From outside it may have even looked ridiculous, but to his friend's it was a behaviour that they had all become accustomed to recognising. Even his mother's had began to notice as he grew older.

It wasn't long before he received another notification, which had Eijirou pushing himself to his feet to pace in a nervous manner.

(Snapchat) BakuBAE is typing...

A few seconds later.

(Snapchat) New Snap from BakuBAE

Eijirou quickly unlocked his phone, waiting the brief seconds it took for the snapchat message to loud, before slipping his finger's across the screen in order to read it.

BakuBAE: Get dressed. I don't have a class until five.

Eijirou then proceeded to choke on the musky air of his apartment, causing him to almost drop his phone in the process. He made his way towards the balcony door, sliding it open as quickly as possible to allow for a cool draft to rush into the space, filling his lungs with a generous amount of fresh oxygen.

Red Riot: U wanna meet up?

BakuBAE: Obviously, you fucking idiot. I want to practice.

Red Riot: Like, as a group?

BakuBAE: Are you fucking dense? Everyone else is busy. BakuBAE: What's your address Shitty Hair?

At that moment, Eijirou physically felt his soul leave his body. His back slipped against the railing of the small balcony that he and his friend's shared with their neighbour, a stout, elderly woman by the name of Ms. Yamagata, who religiously supplied the trio with an appropriate food-stuff during every and all holiday's. Right now, he prayed that the woman wasn't home in order to witness his ultimate demise, and he begged that either one of his friend's made their way out to discover his body before he be able to, save her fragile heart the shock.

After an appropriate amount of time to recover, he send Bakugou his address anyway, before rushing off to find something presentable enough to wear. Their place wasn't the tidiest, and laundry day wasn't until Monday, which left his opinions minimal and slightly pathetic.

He chose to squeeze himself into a pair of jeans that he often let sit in the bottom of his cupboard out of the pure fact that they were far too difficult to slip in and out of in the off chance that he might get some action. He was a hopefully boy, but he knew that he needn't be in this particular situation. The stars would really need to align in order for him to get anywhere near Katsuki Bakugou's dick at this point in time.

--

When the sturdy sound of a knock rang through the walls of the apartment, Eijirou made sure to check himself out one last time in the bathroom mirror, just to make sure his hair was sitting in the perfect position, before making his way to open it.

When the door slipped open, it presented him with an eyeline of Bakugou, blond bangs pulled back in a plastic headband, guitar dropped over his near-bare shoulder, the dips of his shirt once again low enough to show off the edges of his abdominal muscles and teasing the waistband of his underwear that sat high on his hips, above the low fall of his slightly-baggy jeans.

"That fucking elevator is wrecked as hell. You're all gonna die in that thing one day." Bakugou huffed out, his eyes dragging over Eijirou's form as he stared back at Bakugou in awe.

"Y-Yeah...that things scary as hell man...we use the stairs..."

Katsuki hummed in response, moving to push past Eijirou into the apartment, letting his shoes slip off his feet in the entryway with ease.

"Coulda warned me dipshit." He replied, sock glad feet slipping upon the unpolished hardwood floors, Eijirou's eyes following his movements with soft eyes. Yeah, maybe it had been a bit too long since he'd gotten himself laid.

"The elevator is terrible...make sure you take the stairs." Eijirou teased snapping himself out of his own mind as he followed Bakugou into the apartment, moving to lead him past the kitchen into the living space, which was now bright with midday sun as it beamed in from the open curtains of the glass door of the balcony.

"Your house smells like fucking dope." Bakugou stated, his tone oddly questioning as he moved to press himself onto the floor in front to the side of the ever-cluttered table that stood in the centre of the room.

"Denki says it helps him concentrate." Eijirou muttered, answering the unspoken get question with ease as he sat himself across from Bakugou, reaching for the base that he'd neatly placed within arms reach, with full intention to use it instead of just spending the whole time ogling the fact that Katsuki Bakugou was within five feet of his bedroom door, "Plus it's fun."

Eijirou eyed Bakugou as the other male visibly processed the information. Mina had always described Bakugou as the sort of person that played the straight-edged student, regardless of his aggression and obscene vocabulary. He's not surprised that Bakugou knows the smell, being as young as he was and spending his days in the same sort of places that Eijirou often spent his own time, but it didn't shock him in the slightly either, that Bakugou appeared to be the sort of person who wouldn't have ever participated himself.

"Ever dabbled before?" The words left Eijirou's mouth before he could stop them, and he was well prepared to get screamed at and have Bakugou storm out, accusing Eijirou of attempting to solicit drugs upon his well-behaved self, but he didn't. If anything, Bakugou seemed slightly intrigued by the question, if only in his eyes and not his words.

"Do I look like some sort of drop-kick stoner to you?" Bakugou hissed, glaring at Eijirou accusingly.

"Do I?" Eijirou immediately knocked back, a small smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. Bakugou snorted.

"Are you stupid?"

"Maybe, but not from drugs, if that's any sort of consolation." Eijirou's words were casual, playfully, like he normally was with others. Like how he never was around Bakugou, not once this whole week, "Wanna try?"

Eijirou watched Bakugou closely from across the table, his features, that were always far more honest that the boys words. He watched as his mind wound over Eijirou's words, the possibilities, the results, something that's required most of Bakugou's attention, but still allowed him to stare back at Eijirou as he reached across the table to pull a tattered shoebox from it's surface, amongst an array of advertisements and empty coffee cans.

"M'here to practice..." He muttered quietly, moving awkwardly in his place as he watched Eijirou's movements.

"We can do both y'know. Look, this is how we usually work when we aren't in the studio. It's just weed, nothing crazy." Eijirou explained, pulling a bag of the substance from the box, along with a grinder, a device that had Bakugou creasing his eyebrows he he stared down at it, "You don't have to. I wont force you or anything."

"Like you could force he to do fucking anything fuckmunch. I'm not some fucking stupid sheep." Bakugou replied, but didn't decline.

Eijirou took this as Bakugou's subtle way of agreeing, so he chose to move forward and place a few sections of bud into the grinder, working carefully, his eyes moving from Bakugou to the object in front of him. He could feel Bakugou's gaze, which was something he hadn't yet grown accustomed to. Being looked at, observed when he wasn't in an immediate conversation with someone. Sure, people looked, but not in the way Bakugou did. No ones eyes felt the way Bakugou's did upon Eijirou's skin. It was thrilling in a way, even if to Bakugou it meant nothing.

--

Getting Bakugou high was something close to watching a unruly horse be tamed by it's rider. He was hesitant at first, aggressive about the fact that he was "perfectly fucking capable" of doing everything himself. He wasn't though, which only made Eijirou's day all the more better when he was allowed to crawl his way to Bakugou's side, his mind already slightly foggy with high as he held the opening up to Bakugou's lips, flicking the lighter and talking Bakugou through his inhale, which became easier the more times he was able to do it.

It didn't take long for Bakugou to become unfathomably placid, his face relaxing out of it's usual tight-nite nature, and his words becoming softer, quieter, even if they still contained only slightly less profanity than normal. Eijirou enjoyed this Bakugou, if only a little more than he liked the way Bakugou acted normally. It was refreshing, and the mixture of this and Eijirou's own cloudy mind made things feel ever so much more comfortable than it was typically between the two.

"You hold it weird..." Bakugou mumbled, playing a soft turn on his guitar, the instrument cradled on his knee, back flush against the edge of the couch as he stared at Eijirou.

"Hm?" Eijirou questioned, looking up from his base, vision jumping slightly slower than the motion of his eyes.

"Your bass." Bakugou explained, "You hold it weird. Had anyone ever told you that before?"

In fact, many people had told him that before. It was something, that in the beginning, he was constantly getting reprimanded for doing. Midnight was constantly on his case, assigning him tutors and other musicians from bands she also worked with, but they were never able to correct it. It didn't feel right to hold it any other way. It wasn't comfortable.

"Yeah..." Eijirou drew out, letting his fingers slips along the smooth surface of his instrument's face, the feeling heightened to the point that it felt far better than it would at any other time, "But I like it this way..."

Bakugou grunted out a sound of disapproval, placing his guitar delicately to the side, before gently crawling across the tiny space between him and Eijirou's persons. This had Eijirou's attention more than anything, his eyes glancing down at the slide of Katsuki's knees against the hardwood surface, his fingers gripping it as he pushed himself so that his face was positioned directly in front of Eijirou's. He swallowed down what he thought might be bile, but was probably just an embarrassing sound that wished to escape from his lungs.

Bakugou didn't stop, instead flipping his legs around themselves, settling himself behind Eijirou's back. The red head turned to gaze over his shoulder, his nose bumping against Bakugou's jaw, causing the taller male to grunt angrily, but he didn't speak. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Eijirou's waist, placing his hands upon his, repositioning the bass guitar.

"If you don't hold it probably, you'll strain your shoulders. Then you wont be able to play, fucking moron..." his voice was hushed, far different to the way he normally spoke. It sent as shiver running from Eijirou's tailbone, up to his neck. He turned his head further to make eye contact with Bakugou.

"Feels...alright...I guess..." Eijirou whispered, running his finger's along their strings of the base, Bakugou's hand's following, engulfing Eijirou's finger's with his own.

"Adjusting..." Bakugou mumbled, swallowing audibly, "It's hard to adjust yourself from bad habits, but if you don't, you're fucked in the long run. You do fitness bullshit right? You should know that."

Eijirou swore this time it really was vomit, but he once again refused to let it up, growing silent just long enough to push everything back down into his body, including the unrelenting beating of his heart.

"How did you..." he queried gently, pressing his back against Bakugou just timidly enough that he hoped the other wouldn't notice his instinctual need to gain a closer touch, to be encases in the other's warmth.

"Snapchat." He mumbled simply, turning his head as Eijirou's nose once again came into contact with his own face, "What time is it?"

Eijirou huffed out a breath in response to the change of subject, turning his head back in order to reach for his phone, which cradled itself half upon the table to his left. He checked it's display. Just after three PM. They'd been practicing a while, but he still wished hard that if he stared down at his phone for long enough, time would cease completely, and this moment would never have to end.

Bakugou must have been watching it too, because suddenly he felt the weight from his back lift as the blond stood to his feet, making his way across the space against to pull his guitar from the floor.

"I have to head home and get my shit ready for class." He explained, not intending to look back at Eijirou as he moved towards the entryway hall, "How much longer is this shit gonna last?"

Eijirou tried his best to contain his disappointment, which he couldn't tell in the slightest if he was successful due to the every shifting focus of his brain, "Probably only another hour. You okay to get to the station?"

"Yeah." Bakugou grunted, pulling a lace tight on his shoe, before pushing himself straight, "See ya later shitty hair."

"Later bro..."

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

NEXT CHAPTER

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

alright... here we go. we’re starting the big one. this... thing is almost over.

we’re going back to........ kooraheen to finish this.

time to strap in for the long haul.

-

did Dhurke hijack the PP show or was he just watching it and he decided to make that speech at his TV

i honestly can’t tell because of the weird way the scene was set. it looks like a reflection from a TV screen, but it also fades like a broadcast being intercepted...

fuck I'm just distracted by Dhurke’s stupid voice. and uncomfortable at the actress playing Rayfa. imagine being the princess and having your favourite show turn you into a weird damsel in distress being manhandled by ninjas. gross.

also yay! they’ve got the indiana jones orb!! time to melt off some faces...

-

ok it was a hijacked show... ...why is there a news report on this in America? Are American troupes assisting in the Kooraheenese war?

-

“Daaaa-aaaad. What’re you up to thiiiiis time???”

i love how not-giving-a-shit-about-it apollo is here. and by love it i mean hate it.

oh, your long-lost adoptive father just happens to pop up on television starting a revolution, and this is the first time you’ve heard from him in like 20 years? huh, no big deal.

-

AND ACE ATTORNEY TURNS INTO THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW

-

oh noooo... he’s one of THESE guys... ururughhhhghghgh

-

“Wait... don’t tell me you haven’t told anyone about me, son?”

“I’m sorry, dad, it’s just you didn’t exist up until now...”

-

“you just show up here without warning after all this time... what gives?”

apollo’s got a point there, pa. also Dhurke’s theme reminds me of Coach Oleander’s from Psychonauts

-

Apollo just instinctively knows that nobody wants to be around him unless they’re getting labour out of him. That’s... honestly really depressing. I mean I know it’s supposed to be a joke but I just can’t bring myself to laugh.

its just... apollo is legitimately so bitter and sad that i just feel awful for him. 

-

yeesh... this whole thing just started off super sour.

-

wait, the piano has sentimental value to phoenix? they mentioned he never practiced on it and he didn’t like being a piano player... does that mean this piano is something phoenix just happened to own, and has its own backstory? I WANNA KNOW

(snerk)

ok thats mean but it did make me laugh

-

the JACKET IS APOLLO’S

IT IS APOLLO’S

HOLY SHIT

the rest of this case can be total shit but at least we figured out the mystery of the discarded red jacket. 

-

“our houseplant was called apollo”

“was it a cactus?”

“How’d you guess?”

“cause apollo doesn’t get enough hugs, either!”

-

apollos dad is so cool he reads his son’s personal shit out loud. what a great guy!

-

“That’s too bad! You seem like you’d be a fun, cool guy to hang out with!”

when he wasn’t being a rebel and not having time for his kids, obviously.

-

THERE IT IS! 

siblings dont know theyre siblings joke is funny both normally and ironically because the writers need to FUCKIN GET ON THAT

also i love that he’s basically like “hey son, this girl doesn't resent me! you should marry her so that i can continue to get favours out of you!”

-

“What did Mr. Dhurke mean when he said he was the man who raised you, apollo?” i dunno, trucy... think with your mind brains...

-

“How come you never told me?!”

“Sorry, it’s just, capcom hadn’t butchered my backstory at that point yet.”

-

I honestly find it really weird that Trucy’s all chirpy about this. She of all people should know the sting of a dad just up and disappearing on you.

-

Dhurke: I have to steal this orb. I’m asking you two because youre lawyers.

Kay Faraday, sitting in the Capcom warehouse: (sneezes)

-

Dhurke: I made a stupid gamble. Hope you can bail me out, son I haven’t seen in 20 years!

-

nooo.... don’t bring Kurain Village into this, pleeeeaaase... I don’t want to have my favourite village ruined for meeeeee....

-

:3c i chose nope

-

i wonder what Trucy would do if Zak waltzed in and immediately asked her for a favour. tbf phoenix would probably launch him into the sun before he could set foot into the office but...

-

Ok... So Dhurke doesn’t actually want to fix the legal system; he just said that he wants to gain immense spiritual power which will somehow give him the legal authority to RULE Kooraheen. 

how does spiritual power have any effect on land deeds anyway? 

-

“Only the rulers of Kooraheen have ever laid eyes on the orb, Apollo”

and Ahlbi’s seen the box.

-

“I figured you were poor as fuck so I brought you a plate of sushi!”

ok either A) He thought so little of Apollo that he assumed he’d just be starving on the street

or B) He’s been keeping tabs on Apollo and knows that the WAA doesn’t make a lot of cash, yet he hasn’t made any attempt to contact Apollo himself. Until he needs a favour.

what a.... great guy.

-

what the FUCK

“here, as my second present... a PICTURE OF YOUR REAL DAD, THE ONE WHO CARED ABOUT YOU AND IS DEAD. HOORAY!”

i can tell theyre trying to do the ‘Hagrid gives Harry a photo album of his family for comfort” but its REALLY NOT THE SAME CIRCUMSTANCES.

-

His name was... JJ.

-

~as you know~

also why would a musician perform with magicians? 

-

y’know, ive seen pictures of Jove Justice so far. and A) he looks like a tool, and B) the designers were lazy as fuck and just slapped Apollo’s hair onto Phoenix’s face. I had a pretty negative opinion of him initially. I was thinking I wouldn’t like any of Apollo’s new dads.

But you know what? If they go deeper into Jove’s backstory and prove that he was a caring father, I’m ready to completely drop any criticisms of him and carry this guy on my shoulders

cause compared to Dhurke ill bet he's a freakin angel 

-

...welp... back to Kurain village. At least it’ll remind me of bygone days...

...heh, aw. it’s cute. i like the sparrows on the roof.

ooh! an updated theme, too! not quite as nice as the original but it is nice.

-

he was full of piss and vinegar

jesus

-

yeah, kids run around naked. its not super surprising.

-

“man, I miss that hut...”

apollo youre gonna make me cry;;

-

Ema: :) i’ll show you the way to Dr. Buff. SURPRISE, HES DEAD! AHAHAHAHHAHA

-

NOOO

MY SYSTEM FUCKED UP AND STARTED ME OVER FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE CHAPTER AAARGRRJHRFJ

id gone on a short break and i come back to this (weep)

-

...

does Dhurke have boobs..?

...or just extremely prominent pecs...

-

phew ok back on track. 

wait hold on. if Dr. Buff is in Kurain village, where is he staying exactly? All the houses in Kurain village are old-style Japanese; this appears to be a modern day number.

-

“please tell me youre joking”

“as if i’d come out here for a few laughs, Apollo”

yeah but youre not above leading him to the dr’s study and THEN telling him he’s dead WTF

-

ahah. further proof that stepladders are superior.

i mean i know he didnt actually fall off that ladder by accident or whatever but still

-

“you could say he died an honourable death...”

...crushed under his nerd books like a fuckin cartoon :T

-

YEAH

POPS

POHLFUCKYA

-

“I’m so sorry... It seems you’ve had quite a life.”

Why else would she say that except that some poor dialogue translator is secretly begging the series to stop fucking up his backstory

-

“I mean, middle-aged man with long hair and an eye-patch? You don’t see that everyday.”

just give Valant an eyepatch

-

hang on. why does an archeologist in America have Kooraheen’s founding orb anyway? I thought it burnt peoples’ faces off. And was super precious. Queen Garananana doesn't seem like someone who’d just hand out a precious ball like that.

-

oh huh they found an ugly dalek. thats two dalek references in this game now...

-

did i just... have a ladder conversation about a relic that looks like an airplane.

-

why does everyone keep making blithe jokes about the doctors horrible death..? does that usually happen or am i misremembering 

-

WHAT THE STATUE OF AMI AND THE URN AND THE GRAVY SCROLL ARE THERE NOOOOOO YOU GET YOUR SLIMY HANDS OFF THEM SOJ, PUT THEM BACK IN T&T WHERE THEY BELONG

god there’s even a coffee shelf. i guess this side of the room is the “Relics of a better game” section.

-

polly the clean freak. what a sweetheart :)

-

aw yeah baby

its printing time

-

oh yeah i forgot this version of printing SUCKS

but i do like the little pap sound it makes when you put down powder

-

...they have Datz and Dhurkes prints on file.

You guys sure rock at being undercover. 

-

ill give them credit for having the Dance of Devotion not rhyme in English.

seeing lyrics again just gives me flashbacks to Serenade tho

Guitar, Guitar... Up together to the sky...

-

MAY-OR DE-WEY

MAY-OR DE-We

wait that has the same number of syllables if you just say the pun

 PAUL-A TI-SHON

PAUL-A TI-SHON

-

...why the fuck is he in a palanquin 

anybody in a palanquin is bad news ALSO WHY DOES IT SAY RECLAIM THE GLORY OF KURAIN 

KURAIN DOES NOT HAVE POLTIICIANS. ESPECIALLY NOT MALE ONES.

SOJ. SOJ WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY.

-

oh yeah he’s a bad guy

-

...king of this fine nation. First of all... America doesn’t have kings. Second of all, Kurain isn’t a country, it’s a small village. Either he’s a moron or SOJ is fucking up at unprecedented speeds 

-

...did his theme song just ‘wheeee’

-

“Jerk Q. Public”

pffft

-

i wish you were golden boy. then you'd be morally questionable but entertaining. 

-

I'm very uncomfortable 

-

k so we’re back in Kurain and so far we’ve seen Zero women in total apart from Ema.

even the unnamed heckler was an old man.

is this the same Kurain Village I know?

-

wh- talk??

what do you mean talk???

i dont wanna talk to this guy he's a dickcheese!!!

-

Trucy’s 17 and she hasn’t studied politics at least a little yet? ...weird

-

“Its real name is the Crystal of Ami Fey”

wait what

-

“It’s been passed down for generations in the Atishon family”

WAIT WHAT

is he dicking around or is he distantly related to maya

or is he just totally dicking around

if so how dare he use Ami’s name in vain.

-

where is Datz from anyway

-

paul i dont mean to dash your hopes but becoming grand high emperor of kurain village will in fact not make you king of the world

-

datz sure is a good rebel... getting caught... and put in jail...........

damnit, Vore Machine, what am i gonna do with you?

-

well Apollo, from demon to deer. thats not bad.

-

dog-faced cop..??

if youre very sneakily referencing our old pal Gumshoe youve got another thing coming, Vore Machine. In the form of my fist.

-

“A shut-in? Sounds like it will be a challenge just to get a conversation going.”

yeah.... not like youve.... ever dealt with someone like that....... before....... hehe.... heh..............

-

how long has Datz been in jail if he already knows the cafeteria itinerary 

-

um guys; maybe you should be a tiny bit more concerned about Athena??

-

i just realized the Shichishito is gold. It’s green, you idiots. Or is that one too bent and bloody for display??

-

thats it folks thats spirit of justice 

apollo has become a living title drop

hes fuckin dead

-

what kind of bullets were those

-

yeah apollo, a fledgeling is equivalent to a private.

...also youre not a fledgeling youre near full experience capacity. this is your third... (and last...) year.

-

so Dhurke is in full stealth mode until it comes to a remotely operated drone that could have literally anybody on the other side? brilliant, pal. 

this is why your revolution’s taken like 23 years to get off the ground, jsyk.

-

...k komandir?

i thought you were supposed to be a parody of The Soldier. what are you doing calling people by Russian military names? did the red scare not happen in this reality?

-

pfft 

it’s so cute. 

im struggling between finding it adorable and being uncomfortable 

-

“in other words, something caused him to withdraw from the world...”

maybe his mom’s death??? maybe?????

does anyone in this game understand how a bad thing make a peoples’ brain go???

-

pretty impressive that a woman’s body could provide sufficient cushioning to soften such a drop.

-

lol. death attributed to random maniac. thanks soj.

-

“Private Justice! You’ve suffered a loss just like mine!”

“I have... and thats how I know how you feel.”

yes, i can remember exactly happened when i was a one-year old in diapers. exactly the same kind of pain and trauma.

look i know theyre trying to have a moment but there’s a huge difference between growing up orphaned and being recently bereaved. Sure, Apollo’s seen his fair share of hardship and his experiences aren’t to be devalued, but it’s not the same kind of pain as having your parents die later in your life, especially with the mom’s horrific demise.

Honestly, it’d make more sense if he brought up Clay, since Clay was with him since he was very small and his death was sudden and deeply unfair.

BUT CLAY’S IN THE PAST, CLAY DOESN’T EXIST, WHO’S CLAY?? I DONT KNOW BACK TO SPIRIT OF JUSTICE

-

YEAH

POHLFUCKYA DURKE

dhurke the burk  amiright attorneys 

-

“the opaque crystal orb is the key”

>needless adjective

>will come into play later in court

-

um so nobody’s gonna mention the blonde lady on his desktop background or........

-

i like sarge. i hope they dont turn sour when theyre revealed.

-

nice boot

ooh phosphorescence! neato!

-

pearl: hello I'm here to do something ive never done before to provide clues for this case. i hope i’ve been useful! thank you, and goodnight.

...as contrived as this is, i am glad to see someone who actually comes from kurain village.

-

wow, the gangs all here huh

-

so they renamed Eagle Mountain “”””mt. mitama”””” eh

nice...............

-

“you are at that age, after all...”

says apollo who's like 24

also why is she talking about all the women leaving the village? i thought it was the men. is this why i haven't seen any ladies? they all just shipped off downtown?? and of course there’s no mention of the creepy oppressive atmosphere and strictness of the village...

-

nice alliteration apollo

-

rain spirit at a bus stop and you hacks didnt make a Totoro joke?? lame

-

“Dj’you bring a light?”

“Ņ̮͔̜̬͖̝ͫͦ̄̒̀̾̆̓̀ͤͨ͋̓̈̑̂͗́ͤo̸̵͈͎̤͇̤̙̯͔̙͖̞̳̙̠̹̞̲̭ͣ́ͫ͌ͦ̒́͞ͅ?ͯͩͨ̾̅̈ͮ̉̀̌͛̆͑̚҉̧͓̠͎̠͎̀̀”

-

how can you not recognize a foreign voice you idiot

-

“He tried to fucking kill us but he also gave us this flashlight. To um... see our slow death by starvation better I guess?”

-

“We couldn’t get back to where we started if we wanted to”

if you wanted to??? thats exactly what you want!!!

-

Klavier: Hello! This is flashback Klavier here to say: Don’t you miss me? Haha. I miss existing too. Oh well! See you next time~ ...i if there is one.

-

DEAD

-

aw, lucky you! you lucked into falling to your death directly to where you wanted to go!

-

“Yes! Time to find that orb! When we have it, we can....rot here for eternity.”

...ok i know the doc found a way out but still

-

wHAT THE FUCK

THAT HOLE IS LIKE 40 FEET UP

...oh well, if phoenix can survive it, so can they..?

-

i love that there are various sea-related items scattered around that give an obvious way out but only yield “durr??? a sea thing??? how this get here??????????” when inspected 

-

whats with dhurkes’ magic eyes

-

mmmmmmmm a slide puzzle great

“maybe the ppictures correspond to the song”

NO

REALLY??

what is with this game and not outright stating the obvious? its not like it spoils the player or anything; it just makes the WAA look like idiots

-

fuck this I'm gonna finish this stupid puzzle without this game’s help or die trying 

-

...ah. my personal need for pattern and order blinded me to the truth

oh well; it’s open now. i’m gonna smash Eshiro’s stupid smirking face with it.

-

“opening that box means you're the best lawyer ever! enjoy leaving the series forever!!!”

-

“A royal stole that orb”

stole it... as opposed to just taking it and doing whatever they want with it because it’s theirs and there’s absolutely no reason to have to “steal” it. 

unless they wanted to frame the rebels i guess but like. theyre rebels. theyre already pretty hated

-

“it would be seen as utter sacrilege to let a foreign man study this artifact”

oh also it would debunk that whole “explodes your face if you look at it” thing

-

...here we go...

-

“he used to be a nice kid, but now...”

he’s an enourmous shitstain?

“he tried to convict trucy for a crime she didnt even commit...”

ok, apollo. there are a zillion valid reasons to hate sadmad, and yes, his reasoning in that trial was shit. but just being a prosecutor and doing what a prosecutor is meant to do doesn’t make him evil. he isn’t about to just roll over because the defendant’s your sis–– er, best friend.

-

he... could be playing the long game, and interfering could fuck up his plan, Dhurke. Also how was he a rebel and then somehow managed to get into good graces with the royals? It’s already been proven that Dhurke’s Dummy Dragon Gang suck at being stealthy or having any sense of self-preservation. I doubt they just wouldn’t recognize Sadmad

-

“it’s not conviction that fills his heart; it’s resignation and despair”

are you telling me Sadmad is the equivalent of a guy in a dead end office job taking it out on his coworkers

-

“The only thing I know for sure is... Nahyuta is suffering, and he is suffering in silence”

edgeworth: been there, done that!

blackquill: BEEN THERE, DONE THAT

-

ya sure put a lot of stock in Sadmad, Dhurke. i mean i guess he’s your son but seriously; if you're a proper rebel you’d cut your losses and get on with shit already with or without him

-

...y’know, this speech about lawyers being like dragons kind of doesn’t have the same emotion impact and gravitas that the non-dragon one in T&T did.

-

oh how... charming...

*America’s* badge is shaped like a sunflower... and Kooraheen’s is shaped like a buggy eye.

-

YARGH

dont DO that

your voice is BAD

-

“he’s my son! therefor he has to believe in the same thing as me! nothing, not even torture could have changed him!”

cue Gredgeworth’s awkward cough from the afterlife.

-

“You know, I remember when Nahyuta and I were kids, he used to say with great pride ‘I have the blood of a dragon in me!’”

cue tiny apollo feeling left out and alone because he doesn’t know what kind of blood is in him 

-

>reform court system

>rescue son

well... i guess there could be worse reasons to start a revolution.

-

“I mean, what are fathers for?!”

( ‘I... I wouldn’t know...’) 

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT, GAME

ARE YOU TRYING TO BREAK MY HEART

YOU CAN’T GIVE APOLLO ALL THESE EMOTIONS WHEN YOU’RE ALSO SHAFTING HIS ASS AT THE SAME TIME

SHAME ON YOU

-

HE HAS A BROKEN ARM

HOWS HE GONNA SWIM

-

oh its high tide yay

oh it’s... really high tide

wow.

-

well this is fun. i daresay id really like this sequence... if it wasn’t in this game.

-

“oh no... the water might carry me up to the way out of here... how awful.”

lol can you imagine if this was timed tho

-

oh hey it’s the DD panic panic song. i liked that one. it deserves its spot in the suspense music roster.

-

y’know at this point i kinda hope he really just dies

wouldn’t that be a kicker

not that i hate apollo or anything but I'm just............... so tired

-

apollo’s pretty calm for a drowning person

i’ve nearly suffocated before and the only thing going through my head was AIR AIR AIR GET AIR GET AIR GET AIR AIR AIR

-

baby apollo: waahhhh!!! we’re both perfectly dry!!! the artist didn’t bother to make us look wet in the flashback!

-

A) Little Apollo doesn’t even call Dhurke “Daddy” or “Papa” despite being raised by him since infant hood, possibly meaning Dhurke gave him the ‘You’re adopted” speech pretty early. Or else kids that “aren’t really my son” have to go by name basis. See? Nahyuta calls him father. 

B) Haha! Boys don’t cry, not-son! Suck those sissy tears back up into your skull, or you’ll look gay! It doesn’t matter that you’re like five and you almost drowned to death! Don’t embarrass me!

-

“Don’t ever hesitate to call when you need me”

oh but apollo your ass gets shipped back to america tomorrow ok

-

no seriously. on one hand; why did apollo get sent away? why couldn’t he be a rebel alongside nahyuta and fight for his family? on the other hand, why didn’t dhurke send nahyuta with him? if apollo’s going away because it’s dangerous, why is nahyuta staying with dhurke in the path of danger?

to be honest I'm ashamed that I'm crying, but it’s less about this scene being sad as fuck and more about the fact that I know that none of this is ever really resolved. Dhurke is still a piece of shit who made no attempt to contact apollo for years until he needed a favour out of him. and Apollo has to live with this stupid backstory because ESHIRO thought it would be dramatic and cool. Apollo’s going to “go home”, leave the series... He doesn’t even know he’s leaving his last scrap of real family who gives a shit about him behind in America.

Apollo doesn’t deserve this. 

-

Dhurke, with superman theme playing in the background: Redeeming my character! By saving your life! Redeeming my character! By saving your life! Though only a heartless, shithead person, would leave you behind to die! So this isn’t great.

-

...is he holding him in his broken arm

wait is that arm even broken

has he just been holding it like it’s in a sling for no reason this whole time

-

“Still can’t swim, eh?”

oh fuck off 

-

“Good thing your name’s not Neptune, hahahaha!”

A) OH FUCK OFF

B) NEPTUNE IS A SEA GOD, HE’D ACTUALLY BE RESISTANT TO WATER

-

WHOA FUCK HOLY SHIT

vore machine came out of nowhere and oh

also he is also laughing at a guy who almost drowned

well aren’t these two just the greatest men on earth huh

Trucy: :) lets make this drowning thing seem like no big deal by playing it off and not even asking if you're okay at all :))))

-

great... now he owes his life to him.... that completely cancels out every other piece of baggage.....

remember........ when edgeworth owed his life to phoenix......... remember how he was 100% okay after that and not fucked up at all................ remember how he just popped back into the series without any changes whatsoever apart from being phoenix’s friend again........................................

-

“GLAD TO SEE YOURE NOT CRYING SON; IM GLAD YOU GREW UP INTO THE EMOTIONALLY STUNTED MAN I ALWAYS WANTED, EVEN WITHOUT MY STELLAR PARENTAL GUIDANCE! THAT LONELY ORPHANAGE MUST HAVE TOUGHENED YOU UP GOOD! HAH-HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!”

-

y’know in the interim i was thinking 

Rebel Apollo would be great. he’d probably be an enormous goofus but at least he’d be happy and maybe Dhurke’s shitty plan would get off the ground because an actual smart person would be part of the team.

-

listen to that fuckin “we solved the case” music.

(sigh)

at least apollo is eating.

Turnabout Revolution... End

heh i wish

-

“Sure wish Nahyuta was here”

I don’t.

-

you fucking morons. you colossal fucking asshats. i knew this was coming

Dhurke: DURR LETS TALK ABOUT THIS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT ITEM IN A PLACE WHERE WE KNOW THE GUY WHO WANTS THIS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT ITEM IS! WHATS A STEALTH????

This is why the revolution has taken 20 FCKIN YEARS to take off. Because Dhurke and his band of nincompoops are all incompetent fuckwits.

-

huh i can see where Nahyuta gets his magic clap from.

also say it you loser say bitch

say bitch

say bitch

say bitch

-

A) If the “crystal” is a fake thing, his police report probably wouldn’t check out cause I'm P sure that people can’t just file police reports for anything without proof of previously owning it.

B) Dhurke. You’re a rebel. Shoot someone. Throw a smoke bomb. Gently jog away? Idk if that works in America but it sure as hell works in Kooraheen.

-

no. don’t do it. don’t you fucking do––

oh, i just saw a ghost.

The ghost of the potential any sequels past AJ had. It blinked at me sorrowfully before CAPCOM busted it and crammed it into the Containment Unit.

-

(sigh) Ok (most likely) fake shit aside, that would make Atishon related to Maya, and the “heirloom” would more probably be Maya’s. Why is this excuse present at all anyway it’s stupid.

-

Apollo it shouldn’t fuckin matter; it’s a court case. Just prove the orb isn’t the Crystal of Ami Fey and you win the case. You know that Phoenix doesn’t cheat and you’re pretty certain that the crystal really is the Founder’s Orb, so you shouldn’t be upset about anything. This isn’t a murder trial, it’s a dispute over ownership of an item. You know you’re in the right, so you ought to be able to win the trial. There’s literally no stakes apart from the fact that you’re facing your boss... but so what? That can happen... I assume, I’m not versed in that sort of thing. But either way, lawyers sometimes have to face off against each other... it happens. You had to face Nahyuta. Now you face Phoenix. Unless you think Phoenix will cheat, or that you don’t have sufficient info on the orb, then there’s legitimately no fucking problem. I mean yeah, sucks to go to court, but who gives a fuck? Win the trial and skip back to Kooraheen to overthrow the oppressive regime.

-

I don’t 

what is the fucking problem

one of you gets payed, you both work at the same place

it doesn’t matter

-

APOLLO. You KNOW his methods. You know that he wins because his clients are innocent, and would graciously hand over victory if it was clear you were in the right; YOU HAVE TO KNOW THIS. YOU’RE HIS BIGGEST FAN, REMEMBER??

Unless you think he’d fucking cheat for a skeezy politician for money in which case, nice. Gotta love that trust and belief that DD was building up there.

“Can I do it? Can I fight him?” YES ITS NOT EVEN A MURDER TRIAL

-

“May the best attorney win” 

well so much for finding the truth or whatever. Also Phoenix should be proud that Apollo is willing to go up against him; it shows he’s coming into his own. There’s literally no reason for them to be on shit terms right now.

-

“A fine mess I’ve gotten you into, son.”

Hey shithead that wasn’t an apology. Also yeah, go on and on about how good a lawyer Phoenix is just to scare Apollo. Brilliant.

-

“The first step of your revolution, huh?”

The first step. 20 years and he’s only just taking the first step. Not the first step to the end of the revolution; the first step to the revolution itself.

-

Welp, we’re off to fight over the possession of an oversized marble in court. Seeya next time i guess...

[dajoezenone]

Remember when I did Reviews and posted them here?

DOCTOR WHO CHRISTMAS SPECIAL AIRED AND IM POSTING THOUGHTS HERE. LETS GOO

MAJOR SPOILER ALERT, YA HEAR? DONT READ THIS IF YOU HAVENT WATCHED TWICE UPON A TIME YET. DONT BE STUPID. Im serious.

I feel like Moffat wasted this idea. He had this great setup to do an episode about how the show has changed, and questioning if thats a good or a bad thing, but this was ultimately not that. 

Sure, there are a few jokes about how the Doctor has changed, and in the end we see the seeds of the older Doctor in the younger one, but ultimately that isn’t the focus. Which is kind of weird because, again, I feel like using this idea on a story that ISNT about that is a waste. 

But Im getting ahead of myself. 

It starts out by showing us scenes from the episode where Bill Hartnell’s doctor regenerates, and then cuts off, leading into where the previous episode ended. There’s some text narration that I dont like because it is 1- unnecessary and B- weird? When has the show ever done this? Why was it so obviously something done in post? And if it was written in, why’d they make it look like a last minute decision done in post? 

Anyways, the two Doctors themselves are both great. Or at least, the Actors are really great. They’re not written very impressively. This is not Moffat at his best. Which is a shame, because I loved the Moffat era and Im sad that it feels like the man himself was phoning it in at the end.

After the theme tune, we’re introduced to Mark Gatiss’s character, who is a WWI soldier, moments before his death. Time is frozen all around him, and then he’s transported to where the two Doctors are. 

His character isn’t bad. I didn’t mind him while I was watching, but looking back on the episode he was mostly there to serve the plot, which was ultimately pointless. So he does kinda bug me.  Anyways they all go into the TARDIS. Theres some jokes about the secret alchohol stache we saw a few Christmases ago which is fine. Some humor about the guitar, which I dont like. A Couple of the Doctors have played musical instruments. Having a personality trait thats consistent across Doctors be insulted by the original Doctor makes very little sense in my mind. And Capaldi is embarrassed of it? Capaldi’s Doctor is many things but embarrassed of one of the things that is legitimately cool? Weird conversation imo. 

Oh and here we’re reintroduced to the fact that First Doctor was a bit sexist. Which, fine. He kinda was. Its an area where the Doctor has changed with the times. Except that its implied in other Capaldi episodes that Time Lord society just is actually more progressive bc they can change from male to female with a simple regeneration. This is why I feel like this was such a waste of potential. A trait that they implicitly retconned to not have changed over time is one of the main differences between the two that they focus on. Why? Nothing interesting is really learned there. It just lets Moffat virtue signal which is unnecessary. 

Back to the plot, the TARDIS is captured by “The Dead” who dont explain whats going on, which is dumb of them, but offer to trade soldier Gatiss for Bill Potts, who is apparently among the dead. Nice. So glad they brought back a character whose arc ended with her getting a happy ending in order to show that it didn’t last long and that when they brought her back for an episode, it was for a plot related gimmick and she cant stay on the show still. I know they weren’t going to, but it still annoys me. I was ready for more Bill. I love Bill and this felt like a tease. Speaking of which, they let you think it really is Bill. Its not like in Day of the Doctor where you know that isn’t Rose the whole time. No, they let you think it maybe really is Bill. Why? 

After some banter, the four of them escape the glass dead people. Or, person. Who looks very fake and not very intimidating. Which makes sense considering SPOILER ALERT the glass dead person isn’t evil. She’s not evil at all. She’s the main antagonist and in the end of the episode the Doctor’s basically just like “Wow OK well thats fine keep doing what you’re doing”. Nothing really even comes of it. Its all just padding and setup for the episode to end in the way that we all know it will. 

Getting ahead of myself again. They spend some time on some Dalek controlled planet, where Rusty (The good Dalek that Doctor and Clara went inside back in season 8) sits in a tower and shoots at other Daleks all day. Rusty is old and cranky now. I guess. Actually he’s basically just a regular Dalek actually. But he will help the Doctor bc the Doctor convinces him it’ll hurt other Daleks. But actually all it does is reveal the twist I spoiled for you. 

That said the main point was to give the characters a backdrop other than the old TARDIS set while they interact. We get some stuff with not-Bill and the Doctor which is pretty good. Some stuff with not-Bill and Gatiss which is actually really really good. And some stuff with the two Doctors which was... fine? Again, my main problem with the episode was that the two of them could have been used so much better but they simply aren’t. The two actors are phenominal, but I just dont buy Moffat’s writing in this episode. Give them intersting stuff to say, geez. Its all just kind of... what you’d expect. 

Then we get the ending, which is again just nothing really unexpected. Doctor Capaldi changed stuff around so that when they unfroze time, it was right before the Christmas Armistice of 1914. Which is weird bc its like simultaneously showing that the world needs the Doctor to save people like Gatiss, but also showing that regular people, even soldiers in the midst of war, can be kind. Its a confusing message that tries to have its cake and eat it too. So see? This isn’t just me being upset that they didn’t focus on the stuff I would have. Its also me being upset with how they handled what they did choose to focus on. 

Capaldi’s last scenes, saying goodbye to the Testimony versions of his companions, and his last monologue, are as great as I could have wanted them to be. Both drag on for a bit and had some stuff that could have been left on the cutting room floor and we never would have missed it. Its very obvious that Jenna Coleman wasn’t able to be there on set with the other companions Capaldi says goodbye to. And the Doctor rambles a bit in his monologue about children being allowed to know his name, which isn’t very coherent. I guess that was the point. We’re not supposed to understand. But still. Cut that then. 

Then finally, Jodie Whitaker's first scene. Which is fine. Way too similar to Matt Smith’s first scene but with so much less dialogue. All she says is something like “Aw Brilliant!” which is instantly Doctor-ish. She’s great I love her. And then she stumbles around the exploding TARDIS set a bit before falling out of the ship entirely. Which again just makes me think of End of Time / Eleventh Hour. Like, I’ve seen this before but the character was given so much more room to breathe.  As I’ve said before, its not the female Doctor Im worried about, its Chris Chibnall not giving her anything interesting to do. This doesn’t change that at all. 

Small notes I didn’t know where else to put:

-I swear Capaldi gets emotional for a brief instant when First Doctor mentions Polly. Could be my imagination though since its not indicated at all by the dialogue he says.  -Gatiss getting sad when he’s told he’s from “World War I” is a nice touch. They really believed that their’s was the war to end all wars, the idea that humanity would do it again was so unthinkable and its depressing.  -I could be wrong but I dont think we’ve seen the date the Testimony was from before in Doctor Who, which is interesting because usually future humans with time travel tech coming back are usually from a specific time period in Moffat episodes. Weird that he didn’t stick to that in his last romp. -Rusty was kinda broken when the Doctor first found him. Howd he live for, what did the Doctor say? Thousands of years? MOFFAT JUST BC WE DIDNT SEE A CHARACTER DIE DOESNT MEAN THEY LIVE FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS DANGIT. Also why was Rusty never a contender for the fulfillment of the Hybrid Prophecy if he lived that long? 

All in all, not the worst Moffat story, but far from his best. The message and point are obscured to the point of meaninglessness, but the emotion and characters are there, just not in as strong a force as they should be. :(