#other ppl might not feel the same way as me dw!

[ardourie]

im sorry this is such a long ask i didnt expect it to be 😭 but im curious about your opinion/what discussion there is to be had bc i listen to a fair amount of rap but im not the most knowledgeable on the history and nuances of it all, and then of course im nonblack. but would you say the problem with white rappers in terms of gaining recognition in a genre not built for them carries over to other nonblack poc? because i think about it every so often especially growing up in a city with such a heavy nonblack latino presence, its like… complicated. because on the one hand the black american and latino-american communities have always been closely linked both with black latinos and nonblack latinos, like thats a whole other lecture on american racial identity, so i could see how many nonblack latino rappers are coming from a different place than the “i want to be somewhere i wasn’t already” place a lot of white rappers come from.

but at the same time i see the popularity of rappers like lil pump and 6ix9ine (not to mention how horrible they are otherwise) who so obviously want to pretend there’s zero difference between them and a black person, who have an obsession with saying the n word as if that somehow ever applied to them, and it just reminds me of the nonblack latinos i grew up around who would do the same (often influenced by those two even). thats not even mentioning less explicit versions of this, like when they had becky g rap for a (vaguely indigenous latin american) league character who they suddenly gave darker skin and larger lips wearing clothes and a hairstyle that originated in black communities. and then im not even going to start on ppl like kpop rappers or aquafina.

like i dont claim to be the expert on all this but it always came across to me as so off-putting and strange, and when these rappers pop up getting success (especially among other nonblack poc who also want to pretend there’s no difference between them and black people!) it just puts such a bad taste in my mouth so i could understand why even when it comes to the nonblack rappers who are usually more respectful and avoid shit like this the want might be there to just put the focus on BLACK rappers alone, the ones who so much of the time (considering like total amount of black vs nonblack rappers) get way less recognition than nonblack ones despite it being a genre they literally invented by and for themselves. again im sorry that was so rambling 😭 but im just curious if you have any opinions on it or anything to add to the discussion as a like… better voice to listen to then me and my vague thoughts LOL

ur fine dw! i love rambles but my feelings r just as complicated as urs im way more accepting of nonblack rappers who aren’t white but like u said the issue of some of them thinking that acceptance means theyre honorary black is very common and a lot of times nonblack brown rappers like 69 for example lean into portraying themselves as black and using the n word and its like . yes ur proximity to us makes u have a better understanding but that still doesn’t make u black, the problem definitely carries over but to a lesser extent

like i said b4 i think anyone can do rap but the further away from being black u are i think it makes it more distasteful, i feel like the distinction would matter less to me if antiblackness wasn’t prevalent everywhere but you’ll have ppl imitating black people and black culture while absolutely hating actual black ppl 😭 i think brown solidarity is important in general but until the root of the issue is addressed when i see nonblacks participate in hip hop it’s just corny like unless they r heavily outspoken about supporting black ppl etc it just comes across slightly opportunistic, its complicated tho

[levmada]

Alright I'm the anon that brought up the question and just wanted to clarify something .

It seems like my ask attracted the wrong crowd? I do perceive him as aroace but also completely ignore that and ship him with hange , erwin , onyakopon etc . actually idk what ppl where arguing about but it seems like they were being homophobic ?

Anyway the reason i asked that question was because yesterday was a very hard day for me and ig that particular detail about my current fav character sent me spiraling but it seems very silly now lol .

Oh and also I don't see you as an authority figure dw , you just helped knock some sense into me which I was very thankful for .

no don’t worry, it wasn’t your fault. i’m glad i could help u too :’)

i also do the same thing by hc’ing him as ace tbh and shipping him with multiple characters bc why can’t i you know? but that wasn’t the issue.

(this isn’t towards you, but in general) i def understand feeling very strongly about a character you love to the point of defending them as you see fit. however, when this crosses the line into insulting others, demeaning their opinions on the basis of them being “wrong”, or being bigoted (probably on shipping grounds), don’t. at the end of the day, your character is a character. the person you’re talking to is a person. idk, be cordial. this shouldn’t need to be something that needs to be said.

maybe think about it this way: if you think “this deserves a call out post” because you’re angry someone might be being mean to your fictional character? go outside.

[minimoefoe]

on series 14: I kinda lumped it together with the 60th special because I have only been hearing news and am unable to properly place them with one or the other. Here are the things I am mainly concerned about:

RTD bringing back everyone from last time and (apparently?) actively keeping new talent at bay. Moffat and Murray Gold are the biggest names and yes I loved their work and yes I understand they're buddies. But the thing I liked about Chibnall's era was the attempt to let more diverse voices speak as writers and directors. Both rtd1 and Moffat era have flaws (chibnall's too obv, but I don't think he will be involved from now on?) and we should have learnt from them. The biggest takeaway should have been that we need more input from different writers/directors/people in charge of decisions. And so far it seems like series 14/the 60th is actively preventing that. Also, Murray Gold's music is amazing but we've had 10 series of that. We could give someone else a chance! (This rejection of change is my main point of concern tbh but it's a big one)

Conected to that I am concerned about racism. Especially rtd1 is - not great with that. And we'll be having our first full-time black Doctor. Luckily, it sounds like Ncuti was able to add to the role and decide some things. But if everybody writing for him is white? (not saying that they are but I've yet to hear the opposite) I am afraid how that will go down. There's already been that unfortunate (to put it lightly) bit about the announcement in a twitter post and the wrong regeneration plus numbering issue, making Ncuti be overshadowed by both David and Millie. That's not a good start. So, I sincerely hope they will do better from now on but as I said, reason for concern.

Again, connected to that. Rose. Oh God. I hope the name is just a coincidence that will go without further comment. Do not have a second woman of colour be forced into the shadow of Rose Tyler. Please.

Ruby. I actually thought Rose would be travelling with the Doctor, so in the beginning I was just confused. And since then I've been kinda bored? I mean, Millie's sweet. But I was hoping for an alien companion. Or a proper old companion. Or a literal child. Or a single male companion. Or a black companion. Literally anything but yet another young, white woman. We've had that so many times now? But like, honestly, this is a weaker concern. I'm still hoping she might be an alien after all and even if she isn't, it'll be fine. I've loved every single companion until now, I'll love her, too.

The clothes. There's the obvious thing with the regenerating suit but also the other outfits have left me kinda baffled? Since when does the Doctor know how to dress? But I mean, maybe it's an incarnation thing or maybe Ruby is just a really good influence. I'll take it, at least it looks beautiful.

Several of the things happening ( the regenerating suit, the old writers+Gold, the way press has been handling it (!) ) , also feels to me like they're trying very hard to forget about Chibnall Who. To make it seem like it never happened. Maybe that's paranoia but I think there were some really beautiful takeaways from 13 and her run (first and foremost how explicity nonbinary the Doctor is) that I am afraid might get erased/hidden now. I mean, canon is flexible in dw anyway and that's a good thing. But 13 is important to me and I want her to be honoured and remembered suitably.

Now, as I said, these are merely concerns. Not unfounded, I guess, but I am ready for the show to prove me wrong. I hope series 14 will be everything we hope for and that I'll be able to laugh about my ridiculous fears from above once it takes off. But, well, for now I remain only very cautiously optimistic.

Okay yeah, in terms of ppl working on the show, I agree that there's vibes of them making RTD2 have RTD1 vibes. I think the main RTD1 team being back makes some amount of sense bc I guess RTD just likes to work with the same group of ppl and they presumably all work at Bad Wolf together, and Moffat potentially doing an ep or two won't bother me as long as the line up of writers isn't just made up of returning writers (which I'd like to think it won't be). Murray Gold being back is probably the thing I'm most not happy about bc I think it's idk, cowardly? lazy? boring? to decide to bring him back instead of seeking out new talent. I saw some ppl be like 'well we need someone who we know can do good DW music' and I'm like... why are you acting like composers are rare as hell like I'm sure there's plenty out there that would've loved to work on Doctor Who but now they don't have the chance bc RTD brought back the same guy whose already done 10 seasons. I don't think it's the end of the world bc yeah I like Gold's stuff too but there will always be part of me, regardless of how good his new stuff is, that will be a bit bitter than RTD didn't get someone new in for S14 onwards. I think it makes sense for Gold to do the 60th, that's kinda fun, but past that it's like... why.

I defo agree about the racism concern. RTD1 isn't great with it at all. I always think about that bit in The Shakespeare Code where Ten tells Martha to walk around like she owns the place and the fact it's in an era ran by the person who is now in charge of our first main black Doctor. The general treatment of both Martha and Mickey is awful at times as well. I think I'm just kinda assuming/hoping that he's grown/learnt over the last however many years and will take more care with things. Bc I am interested to see how being black effects how the Doctor is able to get by in some situations and if we get some Shakespeare Code bs every time he's in that kind of situation I'll lose my mind a little bit. and yeah if RTD doesn't bring in at least a couple of black writers that will be genuinely weird as hell imo. Like even if the Doctor wasn't black, I think it's important for the show to keep trying to bring in diverse writers, new talent, etc, but especially now that the Doctor is black, a big ass team of white writers would be odd.

Honestly I think no matter why Rose Temple-Noble is called Rose - if it's a coincidence put in there purely for 14 to have a shock reaction or if it has some explanation within the story - I think RTD casting a black trans woman and naming her character Rose is ridiculous and I'll never be fully on board with it. There's literally been articles calling her Rose Tyler and imo it's very possible it has just increased the amount of hate Yasmin Finney has had thrown her way bc ppl don't like the idea of someone else (probably especially a black and/or trans woman) being called Rose or replacing Rose Tyler (even though that isn't what she's doing). I honestly find that interesting bc one of RTD's reasons for not wanting to have DT wear 13's outfit was bc he didn't want tabloids to run with it and stir up more transphobia but he has no issue casting the first trans actor in the show and giving her the name of one of the most beloved characters the show has ever seen??

Yeah I don't really feel much of anything towards Ruby rn. I'll probs like her once we see her in episodes bc I tend to like all companions but rn I'm just in awe at how unoriginal RTD has been in his character creation of a white blonde teenage girl who has a four letter name that means red and is, as far as I know, from London. Feels like 2005 all over again. the main thing that I've heard that I think sounds fun is how they've described 15 and Ruby's relationship as sibling-like.

14 not wearing 13's clothes is something I will be salty about forever and based on RTD's DWM explanation I think some of his reasoning for it was really not great despite what he says about it being out of concern for giving tabloids a reason to be more transphobic than they already are. I'm not about to analyse what he said rn bc this is getting long enough but the vibes are off imo. 15 is definitely way too fashion conscious like yeah the outfits for the most part look great but they don't scream Doctor to me at all. I also don't love that he so far doesn't seem to have a signature outfit, he's always in something different.

Tbh I think chances are the big step away from 13's eras that seems to be happening is probably bc RTD wants his new era to feel like a good stepping in point for the show (which is a thing I can't stand) but it doesn't worry me too much bc the show has obviously done that kinda thing before.

There's a couple things I will always be not too happy about but yeah most stuff atm is very dependant on how things go over the next year-ish. I'm really hoping all of these concerns just get washed away and RTD2 is amazing, and tbh I'm hopeful that it will be amazing and most of this stuff will end up not being an issue, but I don't think that means we're not allowed to have these thoughts rn yknow? Like I'm more than capable of changing mind as more info comes out and I'll gladly do that for these things.

[jayflrt]

alice as one of the older kids on sfw enhablr (not saying ur old !! 😭😭 it’s just that there’s a lot of minors on here) how do you feel abt the current content for the maknae line? like ik it’s not always super sexualized or anything but sometimes i see stuff that’s just the way it’s worded really rubs me the wrong way ☹️ esp bc some of the kids on here are so young it makes me feel like if they see stuff like that , they might start think it’s okay for others to treat them the same or vice verse … whenever i see edits of niki on tiktok , i have to avoid the comments bc there’s almost always like a “daddy” , “how is he 16” or “you don’t know what you do to me” like wtf he’s a literal child ?? it makes me so mad and honestly so uncomfortable :( and i saw an article on kboo today too that said niki apparently has around 200 explicit or mature fics written abt him on ao3 … sometimes even the fboi trope (usually when it’s written abt minors) bothers me bc i see minors writing abt it (like 13-15 y/o) and i don’t understand why they don’t just use the term player or smtg … bc they’ll go out of their way to mention how the character has sex a lot an whatnot , even that feels way too suggestive for me personally for a minor too write let aline abt a minor too , sorry for the rant,, i was just wondering how you felt … omg also though tbh i noticed that some of the minors on here / blogs in gen seem way too comfy on here like they’ll be sharing where they live , their actual names and sometimes like giving a lot of personal info … like did they not learn abt internet safety or do they just no care? as one of the older kids , i kind of worry abt them :( i really hope everybody stays safe on here <3 & some reminders: never be afraid to block anyone ! bc i’ve seen a lot of minors on here get sent stuff from the p*rn bots or just weird dms :( & u don’t need to force yourself to interact with someone , make sure ur comfy with them first !

HAHAH dw anon i know what you meant !! plus i’m aware i’m on the older side of the enhablr audience 😵‍💫 you actually bring up a point that’s been my mind a lot recently because i’ve been seeing a lot of suggestive undertones in comments directed towards riki especially on tiktok lately 😭😭 as you said, i get that there’s a trend of comments that are like “how is he only 16” and “the things he does to me” but i always feel so weird about the first one especially 💀 idkkk i thought i was just being a buzzkill but the comments do put me off a little LOL like these ones

yeah idk ab minors writing fuckboy tropes bc it’s like veryyyy suggestive and very much toeing the line of borderline smut 💀 also i don’t get the point of a fuckboy trope for riki :/ i feel like it adds absolutely nothing to the plot too if the point is just a “bad boy au” other than fanservice so i truly don’t understand the point. and riki has over 200 mature fics written for him??? that’s so horrible oh my god 😭

i think it’s much more common to share more information over the internet now than it was years back, and it’s a little scary sometimes 😵‍💫 i do hope everyone is practicing internet safety tho bc there are some evil evil people out there <//3 also i actually find it hard to block ppl HAHAH but yes don’t be afraid to block porn bots and people who are being suspicious !! i actually blocked a porn bot just a while ago 💀 i’m not sure why there’s soooo many of them on tumblr all of a sudden :o

[butchviking]

Hm. You know what? You made some really good points. I think my issue with calling women who disguised themselves as men "transmen" or "transgender" is that it conflates them with MODERN trans ideology, so when you said that "trans-identified" and "transgender" are arguably different I do agree there. We'll never know how these women truly felt so I feel like... Calling them by modern terms is misleading. For all we know, they might have hated having to disguise themselves. They might have loved and reveled in it. We just don't know. And again because of modern trans theory, when someone calls another "transmen", the kneejerk reaction is to think that the one saying it believes they're men because that's their ideological belief, or that they believe these women truly thought of themselves as men. God I hope I'm making sense.

hellooo sorry i didnt rly get back to tumblr much last night so left this sitting there.

yeah like theres obviously a lot of grey area in modern definitions of trans bc. well there arent really any definitions lol it really does often come down to identity. but i do think when we're talking abt ppl in history it is, to me at least, obvious that to call them transgender isn't to say they felt and identified the same way modern trans ppl feel & identify (which varies hugely anyway tbh its not like every modern trans person even necessarily follows what we think of as 'trans ideology' i mean. i know gender-critical trans ppl on here i've known gender-critical trans ppl irl) bc like u say, we just don't know how they actually felt. dw ur totally making sense & i absolutely get the knee-jerk reaction of feeling like it's diminishing their existence as women and saying they're actually men bc tbh that is definitely what some ppl believe. they see man as a category and 'trans man' as a subcategory of that. ofc we see it the other way round tho and i do think it's important to actually call them transmen to make it clear that they're not male - like if someone said james barry was a man then. that's not accurate. and that is erasing a huge aspect of his life, and refusing to see his reality. james barry was a transman. a female who lived the life of a man. and good for him bc that's not an easy choice to make but it's one that really opened up another world fr him & i hope he was happy. i hope it felt like freedom rather than like just another cage.

[euphoricfilter]

hi hi 🎀 how's it going 💭

i'm currently procrastinating on my school work .. love that for me lol. also so sorry i don't think i addressed this last ask !! but thanks on the compliment in regards my web development class stuff :3 *hugs* (honestly i'm not that smart .. if it wasn't for book n instructions, i wouldn't have a cLUE as to what the hell i'm doing 😭 lmao)

omggggg speaking of jimin- did u see the hardware teasers . did u SEE them?????????)$&1; this man is beautiful like gtfo

but yeah u said it perfectly honestly. it's refreshing to see them so relaxed n open with themselves and yes there still 'here' per say, but just knowing the inevitable after their promotions are done is the sucky n scary part yk :( but ofc i'm still going to enjoy our time together til 2025 💕 we're in this bangtan sonyeondan borahae business for life 💯🫶🫶🫶🫶😤💢

also random question but am i using my emojis right 😭 ??? ik ik dumb question but hEAR me out. do u ever feel like ur not updated with the times- like with jokes n stuff?? like idk sometimes i feel like i'm still stuck in 2019-20 stan twitter humor help idk &)/-)6/;(/7/@3)😭 and it's weird it's like i can understand the jokes but i can't make them or use them myself??? like ik how these emojis "🏃‍♀️🚶‍♀️" are used / implied when other ppl use them but when i attempt to use them i back out. i just feel like i'm using them wrong 😭😭 lmao. does this make any sense??? idk idk this so stupid, i'm stupid. don't mind me

oh wow i didn't how much when into baking brownie from scratch ! i'm so used to doing it by the box n calling it a day lol. but it definitely sounds interesting n fun tho, i might have to try it out someday. and also i think ur brownies still sounded super scrumptious (even more so with the strawberry milk) ! so still kudus n praise to u for seeing it through and ur baking smartness :3 🌸 like i sad before : it's ALWAYS a good time when talking sweets. y u h

yay glad to hear everything worked out !! i hope u have a fun and safe time :) and dw i'm sure you'll find something to do before then hehe*

also off topic, ik we said it's okay but srsly sorry all my asks are always so long n probably have a bunch of typos 😭 i can't shut up and it shows pls lol

- 🎀 anon

it’s definitely going

YES LITERALLY I WAS OUT WHEN IT DROPPED AND IN THE CAR ON THE WAY HOME AND I JUST 😟 HOLY SHIT JIMIN??????? my brother please have mercy on me??

wait no because i literally feel the same??? i have like my small bank of frequently used emojis because whenever i see other people use certain ones i just 🧍‍♀️don’t know if the context is right with what i’m saying? if it’s any help i sent 😭 to my mum before and she asked why i was crying 😭😭 so i think you’re doing okay babes

i don’t bake brownies very often and i still took the easy route using the microwave instead of the double boil method 😭 i think one day i’ll perfect them but until then i’m gonna stick with cakes i think, or banana bread— it’s way easier 🥲

i had a really good time!!! i feel like ass this morning though LMAO idk if it’s because i don’t usually stay out that late but i woke up and felt so dead. it was extremely liberating though just walking through my compound at the end of the night, at midnight alone when no one was outside listening to music. it felt quite healing. and it was really nice catching up with my friend 🫡

[cirkkaa]

I'm going to ramble a about something that bothers me a bit about rayemma so if you're not in for me being overly invested in fictional characters, this is your cue to not read this lol. Also I might sound like I'm taking it too seriously, but it's just me talking out loud, dw. I'm drinking coffee as I write :)

This contains manga spoilers!

I've already vented a little on twitter but now that days passed and I could notice other things, I want to talk about it here bc I think is calmer and I feel a little self conscious bringing ship related matters there. ( also I would've making a long ass thread no one wants to see lmao)

Let's state something first: I love Ray. He's my favorite tpn character, and I'm multishipper. Either if I'm being biased or not, I love rayemma, and I also love noremma and other ships. But RE has a soft spot for me for obvious reasons. And I'm not only talking only about romance here, tho of course I can't take it out of the frame bc, well is just another layer of their relationship. But my primary concern has to do with the interaction between both as it is.

Now, you may know about Shirai's and Sugita's commentary on the forest arc RE, if you don't it's here. Let's go to what is my perception.

Ray and Emma shared an unique bond like no other, would they have spent all those arcs on building their relationship from a very unstable/chaotic one to one which showcased a level of trust so deep that they were able to enter another realm and defy time and space......... that Ray out of all people was the one who felt her presence, was literally GUIDED to find her in a context in which realistically they might as well never ever see each other again to show us.. A sibling relationship? COMRADES? I felt like a bucket of ice was thrown at me. 

I've always loved that they didn't emphasize the sibling part of tpn when it came to the trio bc in no way it feels sibling-like. I always considered them as best friends, the kind that life puts in your way and you can feel it's different from any other bond you may have. And besides, story-wise, it makes sense since ehem NE exists, so that would be a weird concept to praise while putting characters on a shippy moment. Now, I think it's only fair for all 3 to be considered under the same context. But looks like NE gets a free pass, RE doesn't, and NR is close to nonexistent so we'll never know.

RE bonding was one of the best ones I've ever seen and probably my favorite, I have no words to describe how much I loved Shirai for taking this path with them. But this commentary?? Honestly, wouldn't you feel at least a little salty if this happened to a couple that means a lot to you? imagining that exactly this description was used to describe NE. Sounds incredibly ridiculous and just nonsensical doesn't it? Like hell, it can be anything but not this.

"Hey but NE is sorta canon and RE never existed" Well that doesn't mean that they aren't friends FIRST and foremost, which is the kind of relationship they showed ALL the time throughout the story. Not of siblings, not of comrades. Of course Emma referred to all GF as her family, but that I remember, she never considered Norman or Ray as her brothers, explicitly.

So in short, I felt sad and in disbelief. Nothing to do about it, it's done.

“But he said it´s okay to interpret it the way you want” Yes, which is very nice of him. But after reading that, I felt so drained and confused that romance in RE at this point sounded like a joke, when their friendship is pretty much.. Just there.

On a more selfish note, RE doesn't get half the credit it deserves. Their friendship goes under the rug most of the time, and considering canon events and how Ray fell on the sides, and now this commentary over a relationship in which in  2 arcs it might as well have been a central point, being diminished with this.. Just what even??

Not that I have power over someone else likings or interpretations, but man I wish they could appreciate them more.. I also would love to see Shirai taking his time to describe their relationship not focusing on the " there's definetly not romance here if that's what you want to know"I feel like there is much more to it that just the explanation he and Sugita gave, but that's just me being hopeful.

I think this is the only thing I highly disagree on with canon facts so far. Not that it matters what random fan on tumblr says, but yeah

A side note: this commentary was part of the fanbook, which is not translated officially and the parts that are, were made by fans. So maybe there is more info about them, for which I will say take my input with a grain of salt. Also, I'm not hating in any tpn ship or Shirai or Sugita. This is just a way for me to express my feelings over my disagreement with their answers. Do not take this as me about to break into Shirai´s house trying to validate a ship, or forcing ppl to ship them. I'm just voicing my thoughts and maybe regretting making this post later on 🤠

I do believe in the potential of all kind of fictional relationships, so I don't think siblings or comrades are in any way less important than lovers, for instance. However in my reflection, if you read the manga, you will know how not fitting those term are for RE. At least, in my opinion, they aren´t.

Thank you for reading, have a nice day.

[lunar-lair]

I adore your tags on the post about my cousin asjdkskflg. perfection. and good on you for never doing what the comic showed!

When I was 19, I tried alcohol for the first time. it was basically sparkling fruit juice but I hated it. oh god I hated it so much and I didn’t get why adults loved this stuff??????? but my friends/classmates were always like ‘oh yummy, love me some flavored nail polish” so I kept quiet so no one would know something was wrong with me

turns out everyone I knew was severely exaggerating (trying to fit in). one guy said he dumped his beer in the bushes during a frat party. a girl I went camping with poured water into an empty vodka bottle so she could ‘participate’ without anyone mocking her. a classmate once showed me their trick for pretending to sip by covering the top of the bottle with their hand. I even remember being 22 and trying to claim ‘8 shots don’t affect me’ as if my worth as a human being was calculated by the number of empty glasses I collected

Drinking is a rite of passage for a lot of people. you’re mature if you drink and adults love it, so you can’t be a ‘real adult’ if you don’t drink. It’s less about liking the taste or enjoying yourself - people want to feel part of the ‘in group’ and they do this by othering the ‘out group.’ (in group- likes ‘manly’ drinks, never gets tipsy, takes shots by the handful, etc.) (out group- lightweight, doesn’t drink at all, likes fruity drinks, etc.)

I have severe ADHD and a family history of alcoholism so I have to be extremely careful. addiction is no joke and people don’t treat alcohol like the drug it is. Some families won’t inform their kids of a health history that increases risk factors (or might not even know) which makes underage drinking even more dangerous

…

TO CONCLUDE THIS ADVICE RANT TRIGGERED BY SUDDENLY REALIZING AT 3AM THAT I HAVE MINORS FOLLOWING ME and should probably try to set a good example;

enjoy being 16 and don’t adhere to the rite of passage cultural that makes you ‘look forward to being [insert legal drinking age].’ I know how isolating it can feel when everyone appears to be ‘growing up’ and doing adult things without you, but if nothing else I’ve learned that being the only sober person in a group full of fools is free comedy

*disclaimer for angry internet ppl; things are complex, perspective is subjective, and a single persons experiences cannot be accepted as the ‘one holy truth’*

Oh lmao. Ok ill answer this in blocks the same way you wrote it also hi!!!!! :DDD yet again this is funny?? I spent a good 10 mins commenting on evanescant signs earlier lmao. ok 1st block alright

It is so very funny you say that bc ive actually tried gin. Takes like shitty peppermint and blueberries. Same for red wine, tho i had permission that time (still tasted like shit); never beer tho!! Regardless tonic also tastes Bad, all of my experiences w it have been Bleh. Not to say i ever had more than a sip/severely watered down gulp

PPASNSPSJPD OK LISTEN TO ME. Ive actually tasted nail polish remover AND nail polish before (finger sucking habits r.i.p spaced out bc epic f) AND IT LITERALLY TASTES LIKE THAT AOSJSOSJ. Like the same shit as they put on switch cartridges dude!! Except, comparatively, the only ppl I Personally know who drink like. Period at all are full blown adults i just dont get them either

AND ITS LIKE 4 AM HERE TOO SO IM HANDLING THIS SO V V CLUMSILY RIP but yea!! I mean, peer pressure is lowkey nonexistent in my town; we are so so so so christian and apparently a ton of bad shit happens a lot? But it never reaches me sooo w/e lmao. Literally havent heard abt anyone i know drinking underaged enough for it to be like. Anything other than 'hehehe i sipped the gin in the fridge >:3' like my shit was which is straight up curiosity. Also i already know that lmao; havent been in a room with a bunch of 13 yr olds whove huffed sharpies before?

(Ok 1 how did u get italics in ask?? And 2 lmao dw too bad. Epic disclaimer ofc!! But im like. In this lil Bubble where i have like 180 followers but no one ever actual interacts w my shit its v funny)

[domjaehyun]

hello !!! i am a cancer sun, a cancer moon, and a pisces rising ! i'll just say yikes in advance (・–・;)ゞ

🧍🏽‍♀️

um . *blocks*

KIDDING i am kidding dw dw it’s okay !!! thoughts under the cut 💖

i . i’m so . i’m so sorry i rly do feel like i would 100% be walking on eggshells around you at all times bc in my mind your placements give like . Very Fragile like “i was born with glass bones and paper skin” type vibes 😭😭😭 IM SO SORRY ITS NOT YOUR FAULT SJFJSJDJ wait continuing the spongebob references—

yknow that episode of spongebob where squidward is in a full body cast and a wheelchair….. and spongebob and patrick are trying to hang out with and take care of him? …and they go jelly fishing……. and patrick tells squidward to firmly grasp it…… and squidward Literally Cannot Do So because his hand is entirely encompassed in the cast…. and patrick gets really fed up and straight up. stabs through squidward’s hand with the net, causing squidward to cry out in pain?

…….your placements make me feel like that would just be us so often 😭😭😭 i’m patrick and i’d have literally no idea that i’m hurting you 😭😭😭 BUT AS SOMEONE WHO, CONTRARY TO WHAT SOME MAY THINK, CARES VERY DEEPLY ABT OTHER PEOPLE’S FEELINGS AND NOT HURTING ANYONE….. i would feel very internally concerned abt not hurting your feelings to the point of like . probably anxiety and mild paranoia djfjdkfkd WHICH ISNT YOUR FAULT INHERENTLY BC . ITS M E i am both Deeply Considerate of other people and also like Extremely Irritated by other people 😭😭😭

i feel like analyzing ppl’s charts is already getting kind of repetitive to me bc i just answered someone with a cancer sun/moon (i can find that message for you if you want!! it’s like . def not far down from this message) and i’m like . already feeling like i’m repeating myself but—

in terms of the pisces rising you might appear to other people as kind of …”spacey” but not really spacey!! like … dreamy and like you’re not rly fully present bc you’re daydreaming in a kind of sense!! you might appear to others as kind of…. in keeping with the dream analogy yknow how sometimes people in your dreams kinda fade in and out? like it’s never a super clear image? you might have a similar kind of energy, possibly because you might be kinda “flaky” but not deliberately!! your mind might just be Elsewhere, yknow?

and you might ALSO be inclined to be a somewhat …chameleon of sorts? but not in the exact same way i’d say libra risings can be !! i think that pisces risings might be subconsciously more inclined to keep that image of themselves to others as more …hazy ig? in the sense of like . they’re idealizing themselves a bit and only rly showing the parts they want other people to see !! but are still keeping themselves hazy so people can’t see anything they (the pisces risings) don’t want to be seen!

but yes your big three are all water signs and your sun/moon speak the exact same language bc same sign, while your rising speaks a slightly diff language but they still manage to understand each other to some extent!! kind of like how . spanish and portuguese aren’t the same language but a lot of things are similar? like sometimes i might come across things written in portuguese and be able to figure out bits and pieces of context bc of the knowledge i have of spanish!!

but yes again pls lmk if (1) any of this resonated w you and (2) if you want me to find you the response i gave another anon abt their cancer sun/moon !!!

[seijorhi]

asks :)

i’m sorry i’m bad at answering these i love you guys

I just adore fics like these, outside characters seeing through yandere facades and putting the pieces together. Atsumu’s frustration at knowing something is wrong but not being able to convey it without sounding crazy or jealous (and then exactly that happens), and then his mental agony at realizing he’s right but powerless. Ugh and the piece de resistance was his own inner turmoil at his attraction, it was just *chef’s kiss*. Do you think Atsumu became a bit of a lowkey yandere in his own way just obscured with a savior complex? Poor reader if she ever ends up his clutches, swapping one crazed man for another only Atsumu will never see himself as the bad guy. Thanks for the time and effort you put into such amazing writing!!

poor atsumu, i really put him through the wringer on this one :(( he starts with good intentions, but you know what they say about those haha. i honestly think he’s kinda fucked, because on the one hand he has everybody telling him he’s being a creeper, making mountains out of molehills, because how could hinata possibly do anything like that? and on the other he’s got hinata who’s not only aware of his suspicions but kinda pushing him to snap but dangling the reader in front of him. which way he falls is kinda up to you, but i think the fact he jerked off to a blowjob she clearly didn’t want says a lot about what he’s willing to (temporarily at least) overlook.

(English is not my first language so if I make grammar mistakes i'm sorry :( )

I got chills while reading insidious! It was so amazing. I really appreciated how you wrote that in Atsumu's perspective and made him an unreliable narrator.

It reminds me of the old drabble that you did with BokuAka where they kidnapped their manager and wrote it in Konoha's perspective. In that drabble, while Konoha did act selfishly, I still felt that he was a good person overall.

But in this fic, despite Atsumu claiming that Hinata and y/n's relationship was toxic and wrong, he still felt jealous. He wanted to be in Hinata's place. He wanted what Hinata had with y/n. I don't think his issue with them was because their relationship was toxic (maybe it was in the beginning), he just wanted it to be him who's with her. And that's the brilliance of this fic, seeing not only how unsettling Hinata's relationship was but also seeing Atsumu also slowly becoming obssessed.

first of all, never apologise for your english or any language for that matter. you’re doing great bby! but i’m glad you liked the fic!! <33 i can’t resist morally corrupting a character with good intentions. poor tsumu. poor konoha :((

Oof Hinata is terrifying and you wrote him so so so in character, like damn. He’s so happy like he’s just not a dark person which makes it so jarring bc he himself might not even register his actions as bad. I would love to see more content with him bc you got a girl scared and horny! But just wow I was on the edge of my seat!

ahh thank you my love!!

this is kinda random but i’m happy that i finally don’t have to type your full @ on the search bar to get to your blog anymore!!!!! also your new hinata ft atsumu fic literally sent chills down my spine. it kinda disturbed me how nobody (except atsumu) is questioning hinata’s character because hinata the always positive bundle of joy and sunshine can’t be capable of doing such things right? and how hinata is aware of atsumu’s suspicions ANDattraction towards his girl so he plays these little mind games with atsumu while maintaining that happy go lucky smile on his face acting like everything is normal. i just love your writing so much i literally visit your blog often for new updates😭

ahh i wished i had more updates for you haha! it’s really the worst when nobody believes something you think is painfully obvious. and hinata’s sunshine and sweet and super adoring, so why would anyone think twice about his relationship with the reader? and it doesn’t help that he’s toeing the line (before jumping right across it) between genuine concern and a little bit of attraction, but that’s half the fun haha. thanks for the ask bby!

Ok but you write Atsumu pining for the reader in a relationship so well. Inescapable Atsumu vs Oikawa is so good, the desperation, the crying *chefs kiss* Insidious is a diff Atsumu, more caring but thirsty all the same. Bokuto and co.s reaction is so funny 😭 they literally said you need to chill a little Atsumu

(Maybe we need to make this a full circle and make Atsumu pine for Osamus S.O. eye-)

i’m so mean to atsumu in both of those fics. dw i’ll make it up to him haha <33

It’s been said before but your Hinata fic was AMAZING and just so scarily in character. Hinata is definitely one of the scariest yanderes because he’s so unsuspecting and who would believe such a cheerful person is capable?!? It was just so well-written, I loved how you wrote Atsumu’s rising suspicions (especially how he can’t really prove anything bc it’s Hinata of all ppl) and his own descent into obsession and everyone’s reaction to him. It was so deliciously twisted and you can’t help but pity reader in what we can assume is her little sliver of hope that she can be saved bc someone finally noticed. Just chills.

thank you so much, bby! hinata does give off those vibes, and who would suspect him because he’s so attentive and bright and bubbly. i’m glad you liked it!! <33

Rhi RHHHHIIII Insidious was spot on. Rabid was just 👌👌 mmm and I've just realized how good you are at capturing a character's pov, like Atsumu's was on the money for capturing the confusion and unsettling feeling and it was so effective i feel like 👀😳 @ hinata now lmaoo

I WAS THE LAST ASK TALKING ABOUT POVS BUT I FORGOT SOMETHIIINGG. DAICHI'S POV. DAICHI'S POVVVV 👏👏👏 I could feel myself feeling his frustration and anger (I wanted him to whip oikawa's ass so bad fr) and his piecing together of things made me feel so awful and anxious, but like in a good way!! Writing is suppose to make you feel things and your fics always, always accomplish that 🤍

ahh nonnie, thank you so much! i like to get inside of the character’s head and fuck with their emotions and stuff, it’s super fun so i’m glad you guys enjoy it!! ily!! <3

oo Hinata as a yandere is so scary bc he's so sweet and caring. BUt he's also sincere and earnest about everything and who's to say that passion won't carry into darker activities 👀

you get it anon haha. he’s honestly a little terrifying but i still want him to spit in my mouth y’know??

i just finished reading insidiuous--it was FANTASGTIC SHDFJDSHFJ the way that atsumu crossed a line he couldn't come back from and was just,,,, rightfully consumed with shame for it?? that was great. also loved reading how hinata knew what he was doing and was doing it purposely, but poor reader. my heart goes out to reader.

thank you so much, bby!! i’m glad you liked it <33 

God, you have no idea how much I loved Rabid. I read it probably like 5 times in a row the first time. How do you imagine what happens to reader afterwards? I wonder if he’d end up taking her back to his place, or how does he interact with her afterwards? I’m sorry if this is annoying, I’m just so in love with the story 🥺💕

ahh thank you so much! as for what happens afterwards, you’re definitely kyoutani’s girl. if you think he’s just gonna let you go back to your place, keep working your job, you’ve got another thing coming. he tries to be gentle. a good boyfriend. he’ll definitely pick up on you shaking after he’s finished up; but he’ll misinterpret it as you being cold and make you wear his jacket haha.

Have u permanently closed commissions?

not necessarily, just taking a break :))

[ayyyez]

Omg, darling you opened matchups and im such a hoe for matchups cause I love doing them as well

But! I'd like to see if our boy Neji would actually like me (despite me thinking he actually won't cause we clash a lot lol), but my pronouns are she/her! Hm, physically wise, I'm pretty curvy and semi-tall when it comes to height (idk if 170cm is tall lol), but my personality is rather complicated because I can wake up one day being perfectly fine and content, happy and talkative with everyone, while some other days are a complete opposite and I hate everyone around me and myself lol. I'm a really helpful person and generous! I'm a good teacher and love tutoring in subjects like biology and math. One thing I figured out after I moved abroad for uni is that I laugh a lot and rather easily, so anything can make me laugh at any time.

I'm very sarcastic though and I get pissed easily, however, I'm more of the type to accumulate all of my anger and then spontaneously blow up than let it all out immediately...😅 And, I'm a pretty good listener (ppl talk to me a lot about their problems), but I dislike talking about myself and my problems.

In my free time, I like doing origami and sudoku, and writing! You can always catch me with a book, whether I'm studying or reading it for my own enjoyment! And, to not bore you further, I'll finish here! I hope it's enough and thank you so much if you end up doing this, mwah ❣️

omg yes our mans Neji, ahhh dw I feel like he is the most flexible when it comes to romantic partners? I’M SURE HE WOULD LIKE YOU OKAY! Lemme prove it ehe also side note you’re only a little shorter than me! I’m 172.something! yay tallpeople 

Alright so I feel like a lot of your traits complement well with Neji’s. The fact you are the type of person who helps other people talk about their problems but find it hard to talk about your own is the same as Neji. 

It’s complimentary because you will encourage him to talk about all the issues and trauma he has deep inside him (that he NEEDS to let out) and help him figure out his emotions and feelings.

On the flip side, you doing this for him encourages him doing it for you. He gets it because he hates it too but he knows its healthy to communicate (took him awhile to learn but hey). He also won’t push too far though, just the right amount. Late night talks become your thing. Don’t have anything on the next day? maybe stay up all night talking.

Those days you don’t want to deal with people? He has those all the time and will gladly give you space to chill or give you comfort when you need it. Even if you just sort of want to exist together away from the world he’s good to do that too. 

Neji is also a big reader in his spare time. I can see the two of you accumulating quite the collection. Swapping favourites and discussing them over tea. Who needs dates when you can have debates with your boyfriend over books. 

Neji observes a lot and finds out a lot about you that way. You don’t even really need to talk about yourself for him to know things about you. He just pays enough attention for a lot of things. Even notices things you wouldn’t have even known, like little mindless habits and gestures. 

He would probably be drawn to you because of your generosity and the way you help others in general. Teaching people calmly and helpfully will make his heart do the skip a beat moment. Is generally drawn to people like that so I definitely see it being the same for you. 

Likes your laugh but he’s not really the jokester. It would be more you laughing at him being the sweet and flustered disaster he is. Especially when it comes to relationships. Tease him, honestly, it’s good for a laugh but also is the cutest thing ever.  Especially because it’s Neji, mr snark. 

I think you being talkative to an extent helps you too connect in the early stages because he is the opposite most of the time. Like he can talk to people but he can’t hold conversations outside of shinobi life to save his life until he gets to know you. 

If you do happen to blow up (it happens, you’re human okay) He will go into calm, comforting mode. Might be awkward the first time, he’s generally awkward with affection and emotions but like at the end of the day he totally gets it. 

Will do whatever you need. Hug? You got it. Space? You got it? A good yell? Yell away (maybe not at him though) Ultimately though he will talk you through it when you’re ready. He’ll love you lots okay?

Also if you find it easy to get along with people and go out, hold his hand okay? Hates being in unnecessary social situations and looks to you to save him lmao. 

All in all a very cute and healthy matchup! 

Hope you enjoyed these bby! <3

[knoxhq]

► ( rudy pankow & cis male ) according to the school’s records, knox drury is a 22-YEAR-OLD senior studying political science, and he lives over in moriarty. he is a gemini, so that must be why others describe him as dignified, humorous, cowardly and naive. when i see him, i’m reminded of walking into class an hour late with sunglasses on, the feeling of anticipation as you wait for a firework to fully blossom, the sound of party music leaking through the walls of a bathroom. ( gibby, 20, they/them, est. ) ◄

hello everyone !! so i won’t even lie to u guys, i am NERVOUS and it’s literally only bc this is the first group i’ve joined in so long like dfdhkjsfjad the last group i was in was almost a year ago but i ended up having to leave due to personal reasons and didn’t get to write so like !!! idk i’m excited !! anyways w that in mind, pls bARE with me bc i have like one (1) braincell and i forgot how to write intros. anyways enough of me rambling, lemme give you knox !!

also this is a bad intro pls dont judge me im trying 2 like. rewrite what i had b4 the storm took it out n like, i lost the braincell

basics. 

full name: knox hale drury.

nicknames: drury.

age: twenty two.

gender and pronouns: cis male and he/him

sexual & romantic orientations: bisexual, biromantic, femme leaning.

major: political science.

housing: moriarty.

backstory.

triggers: implied bullying, police and incarceration ( dw i didn’t make him jj 2.0 ).

nobody gets to pick their beginnings. it’s something that people tell knox all the time, hell, it’s plastered in every stupid coming of age movie, book, film, everything he’s ever seen. you don’t pick who your born into, you don’t pick who you get to be. and to an extent, he does think that this is true but he can’t help but wonder if maybe, if people could pick, if they’d pick differently. because he knows he certainly would pick differently.

it’s not that he even came from a bad home - hell no, he had the most loving family ever. his mother was a saint, a warm sensation bubbling up in his chest when he thinks about her warm cookies or the way she tried to still tuck him in even as a teenager. his father had his flaws, we all do, but he was a good and honest man. hardworking, he showed knox what that stupid american dream is that everyone likes to preach about. 

no, it had nothing to do with them but rather the overall opinion on him and his family. see, the drury’s weren’t well liked - they were seen as lowlives and as shady, the kind of people who you’d only go to if you wanted to get stabbed in the back. generations of drury’s fit this narrative but no, his father was determined to change that. and so was he, even if nobody around him seemed to want to give him a chance. 

knox would go throughout school with this name attached to him like a dagger to his throat - whisperings in the hallway of, “oh, my mom said the drury boy might be steal things if you let him over,” and other random, rude remarks. of course, the people that get close to him know better - they see him for who he really is.

that person is knox. he’s a golden light, often more selfless than the rich pricks who run that small town. he’d give his jacket or umbrella to people even if they didn’t ask if it just so happened to be raining outside, and despite the fact that his family didn’t have a lot, he’d still go out of his way to try to give when he could. 

he eventually graduated high school - one of the top people in his class due to his father’s encouragement, and after a lot of debate, settled on attending haddon university - miles away from that sweet, small little hometown he knew, but a fresh start where he didn’t have to work for anything. he could just go in being him, with nobody attaching a new narrative to him. it was what he wanted, what he dreamed of.

and he loved it. his first semester there was memorable as he found himself surrounded by new friends and people he even considered family. back home, however, things were slipping.

the drury family was never rich, ever by any means, but business was low. nobody wanted to go there, fearing that his father was just as shady as his grandfather. as things got worse, his father had to resort to other needs - stealing, lying about taxes, and doing everything he could to try to make it by. 

it finally caught up to him when knox came home for spring break - red and blue lights flashing outside as loud noises went on throughout the house, until finally someone swung knox’s door open and briefly blinded him with a flashlight, demanding to know where his father was. by the time knox got a grasp on the situation, his father was being rushed off in the back of a cop car. 

he plead guilty almost immediately and for the next few months, knox did school from home to stay with his mother. it was then that he switched his major from what had initially been just a vague, business degree to political science in hopes of going into law after getting that degree - a way of changing things, of helping people so they never got to that point. 

for now though, he’s gone back to haddon’s campus where he study’s away and occasionally finds himself slipping and partying, glasses always covering his eyes as he slinks back class, getting almost nO sleep every night.

study.

so i need u to know right now... knox is baby, FDSHJDFSHAJK

like he’s not by any means like he’s kinda a gross dude like, absolutely randomly burps n is like lol oops n shit, very little manners, will grab clothes off of the floor to put them on kind of man BUT LIKE as a whole ?? he means very well FDSJFAHJ he’s very gentle and will sit there and admire flowers on a bush and then get mad if u pick one bc ur hurting it like. he’s baby.

he also is very loyal to the ppl he’s friends w tbh like. damn he will never leave ur side

that also makes him kinda... super, actually, naive. you see, while knox is incredibly loyal, he often finds himself ignoring signs of toxicity for the sake of preserving a friendship - he fights for people who won’t fight for him, he lets people back in too easily, he just. he sees the good in everyone, even if there isn’t any good.

regardless, he’s not easy to just... manipulate to an extent. while he’ll fall for you being innocent, you can’t ever try to make him think he’s something he’s not - he knows his intentions and he knows they’re usually pure and he’s not gonna fold for anyone if it comes down to him or them. 

bt like again he’s baby

like i dont think he ever gets mad but damn when he does its probs scary as shit like bc he nEVER gets mad !!! hes like. a golden retriever ig

if u cannot tell im trying really hard not to make him too much like jj bc i realize that might be a big thing ppl do n i dont think jj is baby bt like. knox? knox is baby DSFHJKFDHKJ 

he’s just. idk. he’s very protective and cares about his friends a lot and will walk you home even if you went to HIS place and like is always ready to give you a jacket if it’s raining and he’s just lowkey a big, kinda dumb at times, teddy bear and i think that’s valid tyvm 

wanted connections.

friends. — please. knox will lOVE ur muses just let him be their friend tyvm plus he’s a bit of a social butterfly now and i think he’d honestly have a lot of friends.

best friend. — i’m gonna keep this to one muse bc idk i think it’d be really cute if knox got to have his own like, ride or die where they care abt him as much as he cares about them and they’re always there for each other and like !!! that’s cute !!! also found family trope bc i think that is.. again, kyoot, ty

frienemies. — so these are always like, super fun to plot out and i think there’s a lot to work w here... like give me ppl who are happy that knox is loyal and would defend them but would push knox to the side n not do the same for him... also friendships where knox fucked up ?? where knox, despite his goodness, couldn’t keep his mouth shut and revealed a secret to their friend group bc u see he can kinda be a gossip fsjfdaskj. idk there’s a lot u can do n i’d love to brainstorm!

enemies. — pls. like. we can brainstorm this too so i dont just ramble but pLEASE?? please.

flings. — honestly romantic ships are not the point of rps but romantic flings and stuff can be really fun to plot and i love getting soft about them so like ?? idk dude lets fling it up n have muses date for two weeks n then break up like thats swexi, dramatic, 10/10

exes. — i mean this is kind of like flings but i have an idea... give me an ex of knox’s who really was like. everything knox wanted. hell, the two had a really good relationship - they were in love and etc etc gushy details but they ended up breaking up bc they just. they weren’t meant to be! as sad as it is like it was as simple as that! and then the angst comes in after they break up bc god they still love each other so much but they just aren’t meant to be and they see them with other people and oh it just hurts but like, bonus points if they manage to become good friends even after this !! (sidenote, idk i wouldn’t want this to be a full ship tht gets back together bc idk i think there’s a bittersweetness in stuff like this n its just. like. its ok !!! idk !!! )

roommates. — and they were roomates- fdshjkfdsahjk

other things. — honestly these are half assed plots but i’m down for anything !!! i’m still fleshing out knox a lil too bc i really did make him on the spot so pls bare w me :)

[sevdrag]

dreamwidth update: Word update, Nano update, Life update

been meaning to update just like ive been meaning to do a lot of thingslksdjgldkfjgdf

So here I am 20 days into NaNo and still banging it out like a champ. I’ve had two goose egg days so far, but I’ve had a lot of very productive days as well (esp thanks to lassarina!) and as of today I’m about to be only ~1200 words behind actual target. That’s ~32K of absolutely original fiction I’ve written this month and I’m on track to making it 50K.

The amount was never a question for me - last year, after quitting my job and signing up for the Winterhawk exchange, I wrote 57K in 10 days; that pretty much proved to me that NaNo wouldn’t be about the wordcount - but it was about the habit. Can I write every day on something? Can I write original stuff every day? Can I write it around all the other words I do, for pay and for fandom?

I mean, yeah, sure, looks like I can.

I’ll admit, I went into November with a changed mindset. Having realized I’d been out of industry work for a year absolutely hit me in the head with the what do you have to show for yourself rock, and it led me to a new sort of determination I haven’t seen in a while. NaNo - the act of doing something daily and tracking it - was really just a crutch to get me into new habits. And it’s working — somewhat.

I’ve been much better during the day about dedicating time to words. I can write over 5000 words in one day before my brain really starts to sink. I can switch between original and work and fanfiction as I need. And I’ve been writing (nearly) daily for 20 days now, which was the goal, so yay.

But - as my fucking dumb gay ass should have predicted - regiments and discipline come in steps. And when I’m spending time on original fiction to that degree every day plus my work words, plus fanfiction stuff, I still don’t have time to do much more than... keep up. I’ve made no real progress on unfucking the house; I can keep afloat, but that’s it. Any extras cleaning I’ve done over the last few weeks has been UNdone by days where i can’t get to thinks.

[And, also, crucially and critically: I am sick. I’m sick for the first time in MONTHS, possibly since LAST WINTER. It was a good run while it lasted, but I’ve now been sick for over ten days, sinus infection / flu / fever / cough / sore throat / runny nose / sneezing / aching / stuffed head / gross feeling / no willpower to do anything / naps every day and not the fun gratuitous kind. I do need to note this because it’s also robbed me of any extra energy I might have had for additional activities.] [I don’t mind because it wasn’t like I was ever going to get sick again in my life, and this really just proves that it was having me out of a crowded office situation with tons of people and their tons of germs that helped me stay as not-sick as I did for so long.] [ Plus I always get sick on November so it’s like oh, hey, you again?]

The key will be — December, I want to say, but December always sucks. Holidays take up a lot of space for me and my family - not just time, really, we only spend a couple days together, but the energy of preparation and gifting always becomes frantic and gross by the end - and I have another niece birthday visit coming up that’ll eat up a weekend. The key will be taking this daily motivation and hanging onto it through December, and into January, and letting it morph itself into something that encompasses more than writing.

Now that I have the daily habit, I want to do the same with drawing, to just doodle something daily and let myself practice at that. I need to set days and times aside for house projects and have them be priority — not let the specter of Nano Words or Work Words be more important (Nano is of course a fallacy i use to be lazy; work words are important cause they pay).

I’m not really sure where I’m going with this ramble. About four or five days in I had a real low period and almost decided to quit NaNo because it was interfering too much with the rest of my day and words and chore schedule and grumble I didn’t know what I was doing and I should be writing work and commissions anyway and such whining. Then I woke up on day like six or seven, my head clear, realized that had been An Episode, and just pushed on with the wording. 20 days and over 30K is a success for me on projects; it’s the maintenance, the daily bits.

I dunno. There was gonna be a point to all this but now I’m just talking about the process (but in the most BORING way POSSIBLE because i dont want to get INTO the PROCESS and now I’m just CAPSING at RANDOM)

Anyway. Still here, still writing, still having successes and failures big time. Still broke! Who knew!

(It will always be a shame that ppl at tumblr cant see my brilliant DW tags; i use IFTTT to cross post, but i haven’t yet found one that will swipe up all of my DW tags and include them on the tumbles)

comments Comment? https://ift.tt/348Bbb1

[codenamesailordarillium]

I just stumbled across your tumblr & saw the thing where you said you don’t mind random asks, so I hope this ones ok: I got into DW over the past year & am now hardcore RiverDoctor. Unfortunately it seems like I’ve arrived to the party about 10 years late. Which means I stumbled across the section of the fandom that hates on THoRS bc 12 wasn’t “River’s Doctor” & 11 didn’t get to take her to Darillium for the first time today... Would you have any thoughts on that whole thing?

Wow…well, first I wanna say it’s always great to have new people on board. I know it might seem like you’ve gotten into it too late in the game, but trust me, new people in our corner in the fandom are always welcome (as with any fandom, of course). Feel free to send asks gushing about it to people, I’m sure fellow shippers would be happy to welcome you with open arms. ^_^

As for the rest well…this is gonna get long and probably have the potential to piss certain ppl off bc I have Opinions™, so gonna put the rest of this under a cut.

Hoo boy…yeah, 11/River *ONLY* shippers. See, the thing was, initially, back in late 2013/early 2014, when we were fresh off of Matt’s regeneration ep and all, I could sympathize to a certain degree with ppl who were sad about him leaving and were reluctant to see River/Alex with 12/Peter because it wouldn’t be the same or whatever. I didn’t agree personally (tho initially I was p bummed about Matt leaving, Peter started winning me over real quick not long after he was announced), but I understood that people have a certain attachment to characters and specific dynamics shippy or otherwise. 

But to me, River was always the priority when regarding my interest in DW, and I wanted to see more of her in the show again, regardless of which Doctor it was with. I didn’t like how abruptly Moffat decided to end her story, just because the majority of the big reveals unfolded with Matt as the Doctor and suddenly because he and Karen and Arthur weren’t gonna be on the show anymore it meant Alex had to go as well. That didn’t really seem fair to River as a character, ‘cause it felt like we’d only been shown the bare bones of her story, her background/origin, her getting married to the Doctor, and then her dying. It didn’t feel right for her to just…not be there all of a sudden. Certain episodes (and lbr character dynamics) during series 8 and 9 would have probably benefited from her presence (off the top of my head I’d say Time Heist, how the hell did this show have a heist episode with no River using her time-traveling archaeologist sleuthing skills, like dafuq).

So…pre-THoRS, the Doctor/River fandom after Peter took over the role was a bit of a mixed bag. There were the people who only wanted River with 11 and just angsting in general because there wasn’t gonna be any more of that, but there also was a significant bunch of us who were DEEP into wanting River & 12 to happen. People were still in the fandom, writing fic, drawing fanart, what have you, probably at a slower rate than they had previously, but there was still stuff being put out there, simply because we wanted to entertain what that hot Capalston Sex Storm chemistry might look like. So when news of THoRS suddenly hit us in the face like…

…needless to say, a good number of us were suddenly stoked, new life had been breathed into the fandom and there was pretty much constant excited yelling for like the three and a half-ish months after it was announced. Once the episode finally came out and Darillium got switched from that big dreadful moment where River’s story turned tragic (well, even more tragic than it already was) to literally the most warm and fuzzy soft 24 years of domestic marital bliss for River, there were diverging opinions.

Post-TNotD the fandom had come up with all these headcanons about 11 having lost River directly after losing the Ponds, which was why he was up on that cloud for a century and the generally accepted consensus was that Darillium had to have happened with 11. Admittedly, it doesn’t really paint 11 in the best light after the fact that he seemed to have tried dying on Trenzalore without ever having taken River to Darillium like he’d promised. But, looking back, a lot of 11 & River’s relationship as it was depicted in series 5 & 6 was fraught with emotional hurt on River’s end, so for me personally (and some others), it didn’t really seem entirely out of character for 11 once we really started thinking about it. 

Really, it’s more complicated because of the nature of TV and how with a show like DW it’s really impossible to plan out these big story beats ahead of time with different Doctors. Moffat initially tried getting David to stay an extra season after RTD left, and had David said yes, that means a good chunk of River’s story would have unfolded with 10. It kinda just ends up being a case of who’s currently part of the cast and how can we mold this particular part of the story around them. By the time Steven decided on the way in which he wanted to show Darillium unfold, Matt was already gone, so it had to happen with Peter.

(And I mean, if you wanted to put a positive spin on it, you could see it as 11′s big blustery last-ditch attempt at trying to prevent River dying in the Library from happening.)

I was admittedly a vocal cuntface about how much I DIDN’T want THoRS to end on Darillium before “24 years”. I hated the idea of 12 finally seeing and being with his wife only for it to end all unnecessarily angsty again. Moffat managed to completely upend and rewrite my expectations in that regard, fortunately. 

For a lot of us, it was about River being shown to finally have some no-strings-tied happiness with a Doctor who knew her. I think a lot of people wanted that to be with older!11, but narrative-wise, I think regardless of whether it’s older!11 or 12, the point is the Doctor being at a point where he can be the husband who River needs. One whose memories don’t need to wiped after the fact like all the classic Doctors, War, 9, or pre-Library 10. Aside from the whole HELL YEAH SPACE WIVES angle, I think that’s also what fuels a lot of the desire for River to be with 13 as well, a Doctor who knows and loves her regardless of what face their wearing.

For some ppl in this fandom tho, that didn’t suffice because it didn’t happen with Matt & Alex. And I mean, if that’s how someone feels, that’s their prerogative, but I don’t see any reason to rain on everyone else’s parade when it literally brought new life and excitement and joy and FUN into our fandom after what felt like quite a long dry spell without any River content. 

And I mean, not to get mopey and sad about it (trigger warning for some potentially upsetting stuff), but the news about River being back on DW in September of 2015 couldn’t have come at a better time fore me personally, bc that was literally a time in my life where I had sudden and overwhelming/dangerous mental health issues, to the point where daily I contemplated suicide and knowing that River was finally gonna meet the Scottish version of her husband was quite literally the thing that kept me alive, because I fucking HAD to see it. So, I do tend to bristle when I come across opinions that trash that particular episode, because it means a HELL of a lot to me. 

The only thing I can say about dealing with people who stew in negativity is to just try to avoid them. I don’t follow anyone who professes THoRS-negative opinions and in some very rare cases I’ve blocked certain people. In addition to this, bc Tumblr’s blocking system is balls, I use the xkit blacklist extension and literally put people’s urls into it so I don’t have to see their stuff when others unknowingly put it on my dash. (Tho be aware that if ppl change their urls you might need to go in and change it to their current one, but it’s not that hard to do.) Because at the end of the day, you just want to be able to enjoy the ship. You are the one curating your own fandom experience, and once you know what you want to avoid (or who), you gotta just take the necessary precautions.

[sol1056]

git along little nonnies

Got a whole bunch of you on related themes, so I’m just gonna do this all at once: a bunch of questions about DW, spinoffs, merchandise, business, management, support (and protest) and whatnot. In no particular order.

Ok there are petitions and peaceful boycotts directed at DW but problem is they aren’t addressing the EPs and things they, not DW, did so how are we to sign them, how to handle this when this could at best confuse the situation and not give any results and at worst, make matters even worse about what we want regarding DW addressing things? 

Here’s what companies care about: money. Everything else is gravy.

If you want a corporation to pay attention to your complaints, then you need to figure out their sources of income, and find a way to threaten that. If the social reprobation is high enough, damage to the brand can translate into lost sales, but the tempest required to make that happen must be much, much larger than anything I’ve seen the fandom manage. 

I’ve been saying this all along: voices are far more powerful than signatures. If twenty thousand people wrote or called in, and said what they liked vs what upset them, that would have a far greater impact. Certainly a lot more than a list of names with no emotion beyond a request that may not even be something DW can, or would, fulfill.  

And don’t even get me started on mailing stuff in. Cute, but hardly actionable.  

Do you know what kind of contracts DW sign, as in, are they obligated to air all seasons, can they choose not to air them, do the companies they work with (netflix, wep) have a say or more say than them? Who gets the last word? Is airing all seasons squarely on DW or more? 

As I’m not a corporate lawyer employed by any of the signatories, I can’t tell you what the contract stipulated. What I can tell you is that a contract of the magnitude of the DW-WEP-Netflix agreement probably had a dissertation worth of riders covering the different types of possible defaults or breaches, and the penalties for each. Additionally, the contract also likely covered what constituted ‘satisfactory delivery’ of the product. 

To take it down to a really simple level: you place an order at a restaurant. You expect to get it, eat it, and pay for it. You don’t expect to be told, “hey, we burnt your steak and we’re out of butter for your sweet potatoes, so have some green beans instead,” and then be told you still owe the full amount, anyway. 

Netflix wouldn’t settle for ordering (and paying for) something never delivered, anymore than you would. Sure, any corporation worth their over-inflated stock options would try --- but that’s the point of contracts, to make sure they can’t. 

Netflix paid, DW delivers, end of story.  

 ...do you think ppl in charge didn't think EPs would tell they made changes and also thought they'd manage to bury it? And then they got in trouble and DW is going thru changes for that reason? -waves at DW goings on and silence.

I got lost in all the pronouns, there. Who’s the first ‘they,’ the EPs or DW execs? Is the second ‘they’ referring to the same as the first? So... I’m not really sure what you’re positing, but if the ‘DW is going through changes’ is implying DW’s got a shakeup and/or is promoting its head-of-TV to president and that’s somehow connected to two newbie EPs screwing up?

I’d say the chances are so infinitesimal as to be nearly in the negative. (I should also note, the press release listed successful shows Cohn oversaw, yet oddly did not include VLD.) DW is not a three-person start up; it has stakeholders and a board and a C-suite to satisfy. Cohn got that promotion ‘cause she’s got a track record going back thirty years, most recently growing DW’s TV division from 8 to 800 in five years. 

Most corporations tend to announce their new CEO or President like someone woke up that morning and went, hey, I’ve got a great idea. Truth is, it’s usually in the works for at least a year, sometimes several years, or more. The only thing that has me side-eyeing the announcement is the silence around who’ll fill Cohn’s previous position. 

But that’s again less to do with a single series, and more to do with what it says about DW as a whole, business-wise. 

What meaningful changes could the new president Margie Cohn make that would be different than the last one? Also I'm sorry if your getting a bunch of Voltron/DW questions lately, you just seem to be the most knowledgeable person on this platform.

I’d be willing to bet I’m far from the most knowledgeable person; I’m just someone not bound by an NDA, and curious enough to do a bit of digging and jaded enough to talk about (most) of what I find. 

A president can have immense impact on a company’s direction; that’s kinda why they exist, to set that high-level strategy. That said, Cohn will be bound by all contracts signed by her predecessor. The TV side (barring someone filling the shoes she left) will probably continue as it was. The theatrical side (which she’s taking over) will be where we’ll probably see any major changes. 

And even those aren’t likely to be on films currently in production. Hell, given theatrical animation can take up to five years, I’m not sure that’d show much change, either. Look instead to changes in investors, new deals, and new properties. 

What do you think DW will do about a sequel if there’s really no bible? Theres tons of plot holes & abandoned storylines. VLD will never feel satisfying, and fans already argued with different interpretations based on conflicting content, without a nice satisfying explanation...

I know this is the first of a three-part ask, but I’m skipping the rest because the only answer possible is to your very first question: the bible doesn’t matter. 

Any new series --- even a continuation --- will construct its own bible. Same as we’d do in fandom: they’ll patch together what they can, fill in blanks as they need, and gloss the rest, or retcon it outright. Even if there were a bible, diligently followed, that doesn’t mean the next series is automatically beholden to it. Some franchises would care (ie Star Wars) while others might let a reboot mess with the details (ie Star Trek). 

For every continuation, there’s gradations in between, since otherwise what’s the interest for creative minds, if you’re obligated to follow someone else’s script exactly? So, no. The absence of a story bible doesn’t preclude the next iteration making its own, as it needs, to whatever extent it requires. 

I was wandering around the hot topic online store, and i noticed a shirt that raised a few flags and questions. it's the 'Voltron Location' shirt. it has all the paladins in different places in a star globe chart thing? with what might possibly be planet designations. plus Lance is the only one not inside his blue colored bubble. Keith is in Red and Shiro in Black again. it's interesting at least.

Nearly all the shirts use the same base images, just changed up. It feels a little like someone handed a designer a half-dozen images with a request for forty-something designs --- and now HT is just throwing them all at the wall to see what sticks (or sells). 

HT’s stuff has been pretty consistent, from what I’ve heard: Shiro is Black, Keith is Red, etc. Considering the t-shirts seem to be selling out regularly (along with various other sidelines), I’d say someone is savvy as to the fact that the segment of fandom spending the most money is also the segment that prefers the S1/S2 lineup. 

If that’s what customers want, it’s smart business for DW to provide.

(Yes, that applies on more than one level.)

There are VLD comic books being released by LionForge Comics, are those considered canon? Do LM and JDS have any involvement? They take place before Season 7and8 but I don't wanna support the original EPs.

Every fandom has its own stand on what counts as canon. Sometimes (especially with adaptations) you’ll find fandoms being explicit as to whether they’re book or movie (ie HP and LotR). I expect the same will eventually shake out in VLD’s fandom, too. 

From everything I’ve heard, Hedrick and Iverson were handed the comics and ran with it. I suppose that would argue for seeing the comics as canon, being they were written by people also writing the main series... but from what I can tell, it’s one-way. The show affected the comics, but nothing in the comics ever affected the series.

That said, your purchases have nothing to do with the original EPs. All you’re doing is telling DW you like the VLD-iteration of Voltron.

What are your thoughts on the final vld poster? I feel like it’s missing the end. Allura is randomly staring back into nothing.

It’s a clever idea to do a poster for each season, but it’s not something I’ve ever paid any attention to, really. If it were drawn by the head writer? That might mean the artist had more insight than, say, a storyboarder or animator. But even then... cool picture, still not-canon. I’m only interested in canon.

Do you think that Voltron was rushed purposely by the EP's. [...] Wouldn't this effect the quality of, well, everything? I feel as if they got frustrated with the show at that point and just wanted out.

Dude. There are times I sit here and just stare into space, bewildered yet again not just at the thought of 39 episodes released in one year --- but doing that with 26 as a last-minute cut-and-paste rearrangement. All I can tell you is that what I’ve seen from animation people and aficionados (and friends) is that three full seasons in one calendar year is just bonkers. 

If DW hadn’t wanted the schedule that packed, the EPs aren’t the ones getting the say. That’s a DW-Netflix thing. I really wonder whether DW used VLD as a guinea pig. TH went a year between S1 and S2, and the numbers slumped badly. Perhaps DW wanted to know if more episodes, more often, would keep fan interest high? DW has experienced execs, but they’re all from broadcast; how you arrange and time things in the brave new world of binge-watching is a completely different beast. 

So, it’s possible it was less of a rush job to get the show out, and more from a desire to see what'd happen to release so much, so close together. 

I still think it’s a bonkers schedule, though.

"Relaunch the whole property" sounds like they won't continue expanding the whole vld universe and they'll make a new itineration. Though if they do a spin-off it'd likely be on the vld universe surrounding the new "Legendary Defenders" from the epilogue. And "especially given the response" do you think after the negative response from s8, wouldn't be better for WEP to not keep working with Dreamworks? Or maybe they need to clean their brand from vld fiasco? What can you say about all of this?

I can say you might try re-reading, because boy is that a radical interpretation of the text. Remember, Jeremy was speaking before S8, and all indication is that he was caught off-guard as much as the fans. Re-read in light of Jeremy (at the time) appearing to expect S8 to be a crowd-pleaser.   

...I'm becoming more confident in my belief that DW has something planned for Voltron. I mean they are still heavily promoting the show, LionForge is still publishing Voltron comics, and merchandise is still being made. These don't seem like the actions of a company trying to get people to forget a show. 

You’re not wrong. Up to the last few days of 2018, DW gave every indication they wanted S8 quietly buried. Nothing they’ve done since has fit that pattern --- including the anomaly of failing to announce their 2019 series. Something is going on, that’s for certain. 

Did DW really just throw the VAs to the wolves [for] three days? and there's still no official stance? One panel was enough. They had [the VAs] take the heat for them? But thankfully fans felt sorry for them? Which could also have been the goal, shut the fans up [with] the VAs of the characters who got the worst treatment and who love their characters ... Yes DW this really makes me trust you /sarcasm/

I don’t think that was the original plan. Let’s pretend DW released its 2019 schedule via press release in the first few days of January, and among those was an announcement of a VLD sequel or spinoff, coming late 2019. 

People wouldn’t be fussing over putting the VAs through three panels. They’d be complaining we didn’t get the biggest room for every panel. The majority of the fandom doesn’t trust the EPs, and is wary of DW --- really, the only ones who retain any goodwill, at this point, are the VAs. So who better than to assure a nervous fandom about the goodness of the second iteration than the VAs whose characters were most shafted by the first iteration?

What breaks this is that immediately after S8 dropped, Josh and Kimberly went silent on twitter. AJ slipped into passive-aggressive snarking; Jeremy fell off the radar and usually he’s pretty interactive with his fans. Bex pretty much wiped  VLD from her stream, possibly including deleting older tweets. Neil tried to engage and made a hash of it, bless his heart. 

Josh and Kimberly are consummate professionals who reliably promote the series after every season drop, but their radio silence continued for almost two weeks. This wasn’t the first season that came saddled with controversy; if there was a time to go quiet, it was after S7. Something else was going on. 

I have strong suspicions backed by research, but if I’m right, I’d be stepping on a major legal landmine. In the interest of not getting blown up, I’ll only say that the VAs appearing for those three panels (and their low-key and mostly diplomatic hedging around VLD’s conclusion) was a good sign that all parties involved are willing to work things out.   

[DW was] quick to handle the Season 7 backlash and have stayed mum on what is arguably a much worse reaction to the 8th and final season.

and

I believe the S8 of voltron we got was not the original ending we were supposed to get and highly edited. My question is why? What was the point of changing the original ending? [The] radio silence from DW and the cast is driving me nuts. I wish DW would make a statement.

DW is in an interesting place. Its TV side is barely five years old, but dominated by execs with long-time broadcast experience, predating vibrant interactivity afforded by platforms like twitter, tumblr, or instagram. DW’s background as a theatrical company also seems to incline it away from any ongoing engagement with the audience. It releases a movie and by the time that hits theaters, DW is onto the next thing. 

It’s a strong contrast with production studios like Zagtoon (Miraculous), who penned an open letter to their fandom about production delays. Or little studios like Wonderstorm (The Dragon Prince) whose deft use of twitter and tumblr sets their brand apart. Or Federator (Castlevania), with their witty marketing campaigns and willingness to engage with fans. Even Disney was willing to be open about its errors with Tiana, and to make clear how it was striving to do better --- so there’s no excuse that only small studios do such outreach.

My guess is that DW's core leadership is from the school of business in which admitting a mistake is tantamount to ritual suicide. Don’t blink first, or maybe the rule is never let them see you sweat, but whatever it is, DW is turning into a textbook case of how silence can damage a brand. 

Companies have multiple avenues to reach customers directly, now. Our modern technologies are a two-way street, and good companies leverage that to create not passive fandoms but active communities. It takes work, careful planning, and some level of transparency --- something old-school execs find highly uncomfortable, to be honest --- but in this day and age, those are crucial building-blocks to achieving any kind of audience loyalty.

DW isn’t going to render itself obsolete (at least not overnight), but it's on a track to end up as the studio whose work audiences only watch when there’s nothing better being offered. Unfortunately for DW, there’s a hell of a lot of other studios out there, and they're all offering something better. 

[gayspock]

someone: thinks ive shut about doctor who!! me, about to go on a longass rant about world enough and time, as well as how bill’s “death” is not at all equal to clara’s “death” and im not just saying that bc im gay: :3c

first of all, i have to preface this: kind of peeved that the closest thing a companion (of the new era, before ppl suck their own titties!) has come to Death, JUST so happens to be the companion whos also uhhh... 1) the only LESBIAN companion, and 2) the only black  companion in 10 years (and also the only black one, who wasnt treated like absolute SHITE mind you!!!!!!!). obviously she isn’t DEAD-dead - and does still get a happy, fulfilled “life” with her girlfriend and im happy with that, and its sth i’ll obviously mention more  - but nonetheless the whole thing kind of reeks a widdle bit andim like H. H. H. 

however..  good GOD, despite it all world enough and time is one of my new favourites of the new who - not that i hate doctor falls, just that the former episode is so GOOD. LIKE. christ, everything concerning bill’s entire journey broke my damn heart so much (and i cried, fully, for the first time in a while) and the whole episode was so haunting and everything that happened to bill was so undeniably tragic, in what could hve been a beautiful way had it not been for the above point. like again- ffuck, it skeeves me out when i think that THAT happened to the only black lesbian, because even if she’s technically fine, but also kind of not, and i’m still like. ugudughdig but otherwise it was just so.. like the reveal at the end was obvious, but in the perfectway???

bc GOD it was just heartbreaking- like you KNOW thats her but my ass was sat there begging for it not to be, and the scenes afterwards in the doctor falls with herlooking into the mirror?? good god. NONE of it was helped by the fact bill might just literally be my FAVOURITE companion - tied maybe only with Donna (??who, perhaps, might be bumped up a little simply for nostalgias sake and tennant era points) -  and CHRIST for her, of all of them to become a cyberman??? LIKE-  this... might just me being gay, huh, but what i think i found the most Beautiful about bill in particular, was her vibrancy and her emotion - and again, not to be uhhh gay - but they said it themselves!! when she sees something she doesn’t understand, she smiles and i dddont  know HOW to say it quite well, bc im shite at that shit but god there was just such a warmth to her and just. listen. her becoming a cyberman. fuck off!! its horrible!!! im gonna bawl, bitch!!!!! im ggonna b

because also? okay. OTHER thing: cybermen in the revival have honestly been so lacking, tbh. like i will say- when i first saw them, i was terrified, and the whole sequence in rise of the cybermen/age of steel back in s2 where they just walked in and all you heard was screaming and saw the spinny blades? OKAY. that scared me- but i was six and with a (hopefully) more mature perspective i fee like... they could do so much better?? LIKE- whilst, like... OBVIOUSLY with DW there’s lines to draw, given its nature as a Family Show but  cybermen, as a concept is disturbing as shit. and im not trying to imply darker = better but i feel like.... a lot of the time, they can be reduced a little to something akin to zombies with electric arms, and their true terror is kind of REDUCED to something a lot less unique, and a lot more generic OH LOOK, HOW SCARY! THEYRE GOING TO GET US! with so much emphasis on the bravado, and the flavour that the true substance of them is.. lacking? missing? 

a lot of the same thing happened with the daleks, yet even worse- because christ, a lot of early new who is very rough around the edges, S1&S2&S4 especially but their portrayal of the daleks was brilliant, most especially  in S1′s episode Dalek. which... LISTEN. some parts of that episode aside, the fact that the most terrifying depiction of a DALEK comes from the episode where there’s, like, one of them and the emphasis is put on that only one, and how DESPITE tht the doctor is, for the first time in the revival, unabashedly horrified. and watching it as it eliminates them one by one, in a show  ruthlessness and how infallible it is is thrown into spotlight, rather than the BIG FLASHY WHISK!! situation AND obviously they had to progress past that to keep it fresh, but the reason why i think it falls iflat in later seasons is, because what WORKED about that initial episode was the dalek, at its bare essentials?? and that is, its a product of war, it’s something hellbent on killigng and only killing anything that isnt a dalek , and it wont fucking stop!!

and to stop deviating from the point: what i felt was lacking about the cybermen, was just that. their wasted potential!!! because the SCARIEST thing about them isnt the fact theyre big shooty robot men with guns, it’s what they are, and what they’re a product of. theyre PEOPLE. theyre the product of PEOPLE. they are unchecked, rampant technological advancement; they are  conformity, and erasure of identity; they are people, who don’t feel and don’t care, about anything. like bitch!! what the fuck. that’s what you should have tapped into YEARS ago!! and whilst there were always elements on that, they never truly lingered, or it wasnt shown to the true depth it was world enough??

when i first found out they were using the mondasian cybermen, despite what i just said about them overcompensating with shininess i was kind of worried on account of them being literal 50 yar old designs that consisted of cloth, and shiny fabric, aand a big metal backpac strapped to their frnt bt BY GOD. BY GFFFUCKING GOD!!!!!!! they utilised them perfectly- they  amde them absolutely terrifying which just says so MUCH. becase rather than emphasising how inhuman they were, the emphasis was the dwindling humanity and how it was being slowly, but wllingly corrupted. full faces of metal are so dead, its hard to fathom who that could have been, but stretched cloth and th way it ooks like a person is actually inside is  horrible, and the way it mimicks the hospital bandages from the mutilation... the way they look clumsy, and ugly with the fleshy-coloured hands that are distinctly people-like, but warped....

and the fact that its all willing? and an upgrade? that scene in the hospital, when the person can only repeatedly say the word PAIN PAIN PAIN over and over again and the others beg “KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME” and then the nurse comes in, and rather than actually helps them just turns down the volume knob, because this, in their opinion, is whats best. people are dying, and this the better alternative- the constant pain, the loss of humaniy, all of it and... BITCH. thats how you do the CYBERMEN!!! that’s how you show them WELL!!! HEYRE CREEPY AS SHIT !! THEYRE FUCKING FUCKED UP, DUDE!!!

AND OKY. OKAY GOD. OLKAY . I WENT ON A BIG LONG TANGENT ABOUT HOW MUH I LOVED THAT CYBERMAN DEPICTION BUT OKA.Y THE MORE IMPORTANT. THE OST IMPORTANTLY.

B I L L

right off the bat ppl accuse bill of doing the “love at first sight AND IVE LITERALLY... just got to ask where? when... where... what HAPPENED for ppl to accuse it of that, bc they werent in love and nobody. ever sai they were ever in love to begin with. in the episode themselves, they said it was a crush; bill just saw a pretty girl, and tried to tag along with her and hit her up bc yah!! she was cute!! and INTERESTING. and also clearly sth was up ith her, given the whole puddle thing and it isnt... THAT weird for her to come along. the whole “promise” thing was flirting-cute, lighthearted flirting- and never like... some grand love declaration. it was just lesbians, being sweet.

and then when... heather became the pilot, and followed bill around. clearly it wasnt bc she was deeply in love with her and they never even say that during the show.  it was just on the basis of the PROMISE that she made, and nothing more - and it isnt that weird, that when heather became the pilot, wires got fuckn crossed. aliens & everything misinterpret that shit, and take it p 10 pegs all the fuckn time!!  she NEVER LIKE. WAS LIKE. trying to sweep her off her feet and elope with ehr newfund beautiful wife... THAT SHIT WOULD HAVE JUST BEEN MAD SCRAMBLED, and i wouldnt be surprised that that whole Pilot thing would have some. sense of obligation instilled in it too not leave given bill was designated passenger. the whole thing was quite obviously, like... operating on the nature of the alien spaceship, and not bc the y were instantly in love and hounding one another!! what the uck!!

and so of course, like... bill also “cried” (read: was sad) when heather was gone bc no she wasnt mourning her long lost girlfriend she was moURNING. A LITERAL PERSON WHO, YES, SHE UST MET BUT WAS LIKE. LITERALLY JUST... LOST. like heather is no longer a person and maybe she isnt dead but. she isnt human any more and whilst its osmethig she sfine with its still something SAD to see happen.... ppl GET sad when they see sad things.

and maybe, personally, what i WOULD have done from hat point onwards was have heather perhaps appear in places-never interacting, and maybe never bein  seen by bill, but in little teasers similar to how bad wolf was dropped in s1, and rose appeared in s4 (however far less dramatic). that would have, like, made it feel more..... hm, im not sure of the word, but more WEIIGHTED when she did reappear to save bill int he finale??

BUT EVEN THEN, LIKE: I THINK ITS QUITE FINE THE WAY IT IS, GIVEN THE TEASE WITH BILL’S TEARS, AND THE FACT IT WAS ALREADY ESTABLISHED THAT IT COULD HAPPEN AND HEATHER’S FATE WAS LEFT OPEN ENDED IN EPI 1. SO I DONT HTINK IT CAME COMPLETELY OUT OF NOWHERE LIKE SOME PPL SUGGEST AT ALL. 

AND ALSO, it still wasnt.... LOVE. i really ont think so!!! LIKE I DONT THINK THEY LOVE EACH OTHER AT THAT POINT. like, sure- feel an attraction to one nother, sure. but thy dont say its love or anything that brought her back. what simply happened was... heathe just saved bill???????? and that doesnt have t be... LIKE PPL DONT HAVE TO SAVE OTHERS OUT OF LOVE-LOVE, JUST FUCKN. BC ITS GOOD,A ND ITS DECENT AND ALSO IF YOU CAN SAVE A CUTE GIRL, WHY WOULDNT YOU? had she not brought bill along with her, bill would have died there in that suit and would be gone and offering her this different way ofliving... WELL ITS NICE, AND ITS JUST SUCH A PLUS  THAT ITS WITH A VERY ADORABLE GIRL SHE WAS INTERESTED IN, AND CANN FALL IN TRUE AND DEEPLOV WITH AS YOU BOTH. LITERALLY TRAVEL THE GALAXY

SO NO. id ont think it was love that came out of nowhere or was fuckn shoehorned in bc i dont think there was love at all. on the other hand, danny pink andclara? YAH, i wouldcall THAT forced- way too deep feelings, for how long theyd known each other. martha, falling so hard for the doctor? YAH, THAT’SFORCED, just to fuckn. shovel the whole reboundplot on her (wrongfully so, the GREATEST injustice of fucking new who tbh).  but heather, reappearing to ssave bill from justbeing lost and dying entirely?? NNOT.... AT ALL I DONT . SEE IT. ITS JUST OT IT.

and speaking of: i also dont think its AT ALL eequivalent to claras “end” which was an absolute cop out. not this.

first of all, clara’s actual death when the raven took her was a perfect end to her. honestly, there had already been multipleoccaisions when she should have just. left long, long fucking ago but given s9s arc that was a good way for her to go and a nice way to close up and i think. an actual death was definitely deserved at tht point given howLONG its been since someone of note... actually fucking died, and died-died(like... when did that evr even happen th)  to  bring some, UHHH, CONSEQUENCE INTO THE SHOW and then.... AFTER THAT, THERE WAS LITERALLY. THE GODSEND EPISODE HAT IS HEAVEN SENT, THAT WAS A BEAUTFUL AND POIGNANT PROCESSING OF GRIEF, AND THEN-

thats... all just undone??//IN A WAY THAT, LIKE... LITERALLY MADE NO SENSE, WASTED THE WONDERFUL AND EPIC POTENTIAL A GALLIFRYEY PLOT COULD HAVE BROUGHT (gallifrey.... has literally been gone since the beginning of new who and its  role to play oculd have eventually been so fucking MOMENTOUS if theeyd done right by it but they idnt they made a mess of it but IM NOT HERE TO FUCKN SCREAM ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW)   AND JUST ALL OF IT. HHHHH. THEY INTRODUCED... UST... STEPPING INT TIME AND BRINGING A CHARACTER OUT ?? OF THE MOMENT OF THEIR DEATH AND SHE JUST NOW SHES  JUST. ALIVE AS SHE  IS WITH LITERALLY NO CONSEQUENCE BC EVEN THE DOCTOR. FORGETTING HER WAS UNDON WHICH IS SUCH. BS HORSESHIT BC TBH. NOT TO BE RUDE BUT I DIDNT EVER WANNA SEE HER FACE AGAIN. BUT NO THEY JUST. they litrally just let her die , gave it so much meaning, and then hit undo in an OOC move and now shes  fucking. imortal and like. uh huh. UH HUH.

wheras nbill... they didnt giv us that, for once, and we literally just see her keel over for a fuckn second or something when heather appears and we dont see her dead,. like, we werent given the promise o death, to have ti snatched away if that makes anyy sense... we werent, like, told “oh shes dead” fr them to be like PSYCHE!  in the way... they literally put so much into the griefof clara but th. NEVERMIND huh but MORE IMPPORTANTLY-

herstatus of like. being  alive... is VERY DEBATABLE???

I KNOW IN A FUCKN. COMIC OR WHATEVER THERES MORE STUFF ON THAT BUT dude who taks thaat shit as canon BUT OKAY. LISTNE. LIKE.... SHES LIKE HEATHER. LITERALLY. SHES LIKE EHATHER.

theres still consequence: and though they said “does that feel dead to you” and no, she isn’t dead shes certainly not... alive. like we saw.... heather from OUR perspective in epi 1. she ust stares at ppl and cant communicate or interactwith ppl properly and isnt rlly physical. from this, i really think... that what we see of bill and heather in the final is really. a representation of their actual states more than anything and LIKE. THEM BEING CONSCIOUS, AND ABLE TO TRAEL IS WONDERFUL AND IT ISNT. DEATH NO BUT . they cant... presumably ver properly interact again and. they dont have physical forms at all and theyve become... something more akin to spirits, really, which isnt DEATH no but it isnt... ITS A DIFFERENT WAY OF LIVING, AS THEY SAID AND I DONT KNOW. I DONT THINK... ITS FANTASTIC. NOT AT ALL. I STILL CONSIDER IT A CONSEQUENCE, TBH, AND.

im ranvjasp f  I CANT finish this its 7am just. listne. LISTEN