#other times im like ''hm i can be more efficient with this'' and take our a bat

[the-official-account]

I can write dialogue that is so hugh

[secretbangtnn]

Best Of Me | One

Pairings : →ot7 x reader, poly!BTS x reader

Genre : → vampireau, yandere!au, age gap, gore, obsessive behavior, ddlg/caregiver, poly, fantasy, supernaturals

summary : It’s quite unusual to find a little baby on your doorstep, especially that their area was not of the poorest - you could say that a vampire town was efficient with money and snobby creatures. However over time the first idea of just giving back the little girl seems more and more radical and those moody vampires slowly start perceiving deeper feelings to human they even wanted to kill.

notes ~

So im not really as happy as i wanted to be with this chapter, but its the first one that i needed to translate. Suprisingly Its easier for me to write the whole thing myslef than translating it from my native language. + Remember to leave something and im happy to say that we can start an ask game with the characters from my books

next

Surprisingly this day was awfully ugly for such a beautiful season. Heavy rain was falling on the ground creating the big sheets of wall with those millions droplets that practically covered the whole view outside of the freshly cleaned window.

Tired sigh pierced the quiet, as for the household members, house only causing the weird tension to increase that was there from the early morning. Dark hair of the boy moved with him, now facing the cold, wet window.

Hyung…” Groaned the boy crashing on the couch closing the eyes in the process a little frustrated. Walking just next to him, a little taller man with bright yellow hair, looked at the dark haired one with a tired stare.

“I don’t have time Jungkook, go torture Yoongi or something.” A snort came out of the older one after the not so innocent proposition, as he kept carrying the big basket full of clothes.

And again he was alone. The youngest of the brothers, being the one who never knew what to do with his free time, wandering in the halls and every couch he could spot in their cosy house. His dark chocolate hair falling on his face, a little too long for his liking, but he was too lazy to actually do something with them.

Again that not happy groan left his lips, and wriggling similar to a child that did not get a toy he wanted, in the end forcing him to sit on the couch with a big pout. It was not normal in this household, the whole quiet and calm act, especially considering the residents he shared the home with.

They are more similar to animals than gentelems that appreciate a quiet time. So the weird atmosphere was definitely an unsettling thing for the youngest.

Again looking at the dark view outside the window, he tried to see the cause of all of this. Completely as if something was meant to happen, like the quiet before the storm.

And let me tell you, Jungkooks 6th sense never fails. Just as he thought that maybe just maybe this time he was wrong, a ring echoed in the whole household.

“Someone is gonna open it?!” He shouted being too irritated to even do it himself, despite being the closest to the doors.

Of course, nobody answered. So angry he was at this moment he got up from a nice cozy couch and with heavy steps he came to the big chunk of the wood.

He opened the door not that gently, mumbling an annoyed “what?”

So how irritated he got when he saw nothing, a void, the same doorstep and gate that stood there everyday, now with a big wall of rain to spice up the view. He looked around, now a little confused, while thinking that maybe someone was in the mood for jokes. But how stupid the idea of that was when he remebered, that for his hundreds years of living in this world the first time that actually someone managed to make fun of him was today.

And oh god he started to get so pissed.

So imagine how shocked he was when just before he closed the door he heard a really unusual sound coming from his feets. Unhappy sobs rang in the quiet afternoon immediately attracting his attention.

The young vampire was more than shocked, looking at the child in the pille of pastel colored blankets. Small sobs now increased in a big crocodile's tears with disturbing sounds of the kids crying.

“”No, no, no, please be quiet, we don’t want to wake up the old, ugly, moody grandpa. do we?” He panicked, whispering the words to the child that now laid in his arms. He just prayed that the actual old vampire really didn't take up because of the cries.

As the kid started to calm down, he stared at it with an unreadable emotion. It was a weird feeling, holding the delicate creature in his arm, knowing that just one wrong move, and the child would never cry again.

So what was that feeling that stirred down his stomach as the little creature grabbed his finger with a big open mouth. The sick emotion only made him panic even more, while looking back inside the house.

He decidied,. Sneaking was nothing new for his ninja move, and he strongly believed in his skills of not getting caught with a surprise in his arms. In the end the spiderman socks were a good choice, as their soft material made nearly no sound on the floor.

His stress level went higher with each step that brought him closer to the room that he knew he could not miss. The sound of a knife and cutting rung in his ears is similar to the music in horror music he likes to watch, now making him understand a feeling of pure fear.

Eyes closed while praying that the blonde man won’t turn around catching him in his act. But how wrong he was to believe in such a miracle. Nothing and absolutely gets past Kim Seokjin.

“Jeon Jungkook…” He died, completely freezing in place. Not opening his eyes he waited thinking that maybe it was just his head messing with him, and the blonde boy never actually turned to him. “What have you done again. If I need to clean the mess once again from the ketchup, I'm not going to…”

And as Jungkook thought that nothing can go worse, the little chil laughed a happy giggle while making the grabby hands for his bracelet.

“Jungkook?...What exactly are you holding?” The question like a knife cutted the heavy atmosphere in half. The silence just after that louder than everything he has heard before. He was even sure that he felt his nonexisting heart stopping. “Did you fucking steall a child?! I can’t be…”

“No! It’s not like that I swear I found it on our doorstep.”

“Do you really think think I am that stupid? How even the child could just appear there hm? Rolled there or better flyed on its plush unicorn?”

“Hyung, please you are going to wake up others.” He didn’t even hesitate to beg, looking at the blonde with such terrified eyes. The child in his arms happily munching on his bracelet completely unaware of the tension.

“Why would I care about others! You brought a child Jungkook, how can i be calm!?”

Dark haired unconsciously looked around with gritted teeth, now just waiting for the rest to appear. And he did not need to wait long, as just after he looked back at the blonde, someone came from the other side of the kitchen door.

Tall man with peachy hair and raspy voice, trying to get rid of the rest of his sleep, now scratching his head with confused expressions. Who wouldn’t be confused in this place, seeing a literal child in a house full of old vampires.

“What is this mess all about? You know what hour it is?” Said the tallest one. Blondie one only snorted as if offended while crossing his arms. “What?”

“Nothing.” Oldest mumbled irritated. The tallest only raised his brow, and repeated the question once again. Jungkook being now forgotten with the child trying to catch his attention with little sounds. “You dare to remind me of the hour?! Do you know how many nights I didn’t sleep because of you! If I just could silence you for good, you would have long ago ended like the voldemort, yes i'm talking about that nose of yours”

The taller one immediately touched his nose gasping not believing in what he just heard, now trying to silently disappear from the harash stare of his older brother.

As the peach hired one hid behind a counter, the attention now came back to the snaking Jungkook. More pairs of footsteps rang in the quietness of the home, slowly showing other people.

“Jin-hyung is angry again? What happened I want to see.” Announced the newcomer, sliding on his perfectly white socks.

“Who is angry here?! You want to see how angry I can be you...you…”

“You silly goose?”

“No that's to lame.”

“Dipshit?”

“You dipshit! Thank you Namjoon.” He finished with a red face. The newcomer only rolled his eyes, while making the shortest of the brothers that came with him laugh.

“Since everyone is here…” The tallest started.

“Wait, where is Yoongi.” Asked the red haired one, while leaning on the counter with a mysteriously made coffee.

“Here.” All of them shouted, hearing the sudden voice, and seeing the new person that appeared with a lightning of thunder. “So what’s this mess about?”

Everyone in the room simultaneously looked at the dark haired boy that immediately stopped in his tracks hoping for some power that could help him disappear. All the eyes slowly drifted down his arms, now staring at a bundle of blankets that started to move as if it knew of the attention.

“What is that?” Asked the tallest looking straight at the irritated blonde.

“Don’t ask me, I’m not the one that gives such a stupid example, making those idiots steal children.”

The kitchen is now again quiet, all the eyes on the little creature in the arms of the youngest. Only sound now being the child starting to sob again, making everyone tense.

“Shut it up you morons.” Said second oldest, annoyed at the loud cries. The blonde didn’t waste time, knowing how bad noise is for the black haired. Small body now shuddering because of the sobbing making the oldest coo at the little child.

His arms soon hold the bundle of blanket, trying to calm the kid down with his baby voice. It wasn’t hard to get lost in its eyes, them being mysterious and full of innocence, drawing up the blonde one. His big hand now on its red cheek, trying to feel the texture of the soft skin under his fingers.

And as the cries never happened, the child started giggling again trying to grab Seokjin hands with such a beautiful smile. It was a really soft sight to see making them all calm and giddy inside. But as the child opened its mouth Seokjin's smiles disappeared.

“What the matter?” Asked Namjoon a little bit taken aback by the change of his hyungs mood. The oldest only looked back at the rest of them with a terrified expression.

“It's a human.”

[s1st3r]

Soo... how would the Bad Batch react to a S/O that has a very snarky/dry sense of humor? Just always cracking jokes and finding humor in everything? (Love ur content btw <3)

Thank you for your request!!! And THANK YOU IM GLAD U LIKEY!!!!

Ok I have seen this but knew it would take me hours to write so I was waiting for the write moment! (get it? write = right? teehee) talk about a terribly dry sense of humour my goodness.

How Would The Bad Batch React to a Snarky/Witty/Dry Sense of Humour Significant Other (s/o)

Factz: Not even kidding, I feel like the boys would kill for a hella sassy partner in crime.

Hunter

Oh my gosh they are literally best friends!!! They speak in a very similar style to each other.

Hunter expects a little bit of snark from Cross, sarcasm from Echo, and quips from Tech, but when his s/o just dishes his dry humour right back at him the first time they meet, he's like "Why was that so... hot???"

So from then on, most of the dialogue exchanged between the two of them are like super sassy comments and witty replies, until it unintentionally gradually morphs into really heavy flirting. They get so into teasing each other, the whole batch can feel the tension in the air.

Of course both are oblivious of this for the longest time.

But when eventually they do figure it out and get together, the whole batch sigh in relief thinking "finally this intense pining is over"... But it actually just gets worse?

So now during missions, the two of you verbally dance around each other like you're in some comeback war.

In the middle of a serious mission:

Hunter: "I need you here now!"

S/O: "wow wow Hunter. babe. cool your jets. i know we haven't really done it in a while but we're in the middle of a mission and-"

Hunter: "As much as I love how you think mesh'la, I think you're misreading the situation."

His s/o also keeps ruining his *tough guy* persona. During briefs, his s/o keeps making him crack his skillfully honed poker face.

The teasing through dry humour is just a really fun and goofy way to connect to each other and is their common ground of affection.

Tech

We all know Tech is a witty boi, and man do we love him for it!

Tech finds his s/o's attitude quite entertaining.

He does like it when they use their snarkiness to defend him from people that give him a hard time, but he like his s/o's humour best when it's just the two of them having fun.

I feel like Tech would find it 10x funnier if his s/o was also really smart and able to understand his technical language, because they just pass these really witty/funny quips back and forth to each other that are actually hilarious but no one understands. It's like their own hidden language.

Now we've seen Tech smile and m a y b e chuckle a little before?? But so far, we've yet to see Tech actually laugh and I headcanon that Tech snorts when he laughs. (Has anybody seen the live action TMNT?? Kinda like how Donnie laughs in those). So ohmiGOSH it's so WhOlEsOmE when his s/o makes Tech laugh!! He's so CUTE!

The rest of the batch will be out getting supplies while Echo works of the exterior hull of the ship and Tech and his s/o fix up the systems inside.

Tech laying under a panel: "Hm, this wire seems to be adhered to a far less efficient arrangement." Tech's s/o wordlessly shuffles over from their panel to analyse the problem. Their shoulders touch as they lie side by side.

S/o: "Mm, I think you're right, but see here? It looks like it's been manually transfigured. Probably by Echo in one of our many quick fixes. It looks like he's done it so he can easily access and program the flight module."

Tech: "I'm going to rewire it to-"

S/o: "To that one right?" His s/o says, suppressing a smile as they point to clearly the wrong wiring. Tech's eyes narrow and his brow furrows.

Tech: "Of course not! That would compromise the-" He catches a glimpse of his s/o's cheeky grin, "oh you're joking." His s/o bursts out laughing and he can't help the smile that stretches over his face as he shakes his head.

By the end of the repairs, the batch come back to find you both practically rolling on the ground in snorting fits of laughter.

Their humour paired with their competence makes them super attractive to him.

Wrecker

Wrecker finds his s/o's dry humour the funniest thing in the galaxy. He is one of those blessings that will always laugh at your jokes.

Which is a relief cuz I have dry humour and almost no one ever laughs at my jokes rip.

I mean, you guys saw how he reacted in ep 1 when Omega DeStRoYeD those regs in the mess hall. He was so proud and supportive of her.

So yeah he's pretty much his s/o's hype man.

He loves that his s/o's humour means that they quite enjoy playful competition and games. So they're always playing random games together, even going so far as to arm wrestle (S/o: "But we both already know who's going to win... Me. Obviously.")

And sometimes he will let his s/o win, just because he thinks it's so cute when they start flexing their arms and boasting about how strong and amazing they are.

He knows they're joking. He knows they know he let them win. But even though they've never really beaten him, he still thinks they're strong and amazing.

There is always friendly banter between the two but what Wrecker loves the most is how easy his s/o makes things for him.

He's not a natural at romance, and often finds himself making mistakes or he might do something a little awkwardly. But instead of being mad, disappointed, or judgmental, his s/o just smiles or laughs it off and walks him through things.

He feels like he can always be himself around his s/o.

Crosshair

Again, it's canon and fanon that Cross is a bit of a grumpy pants so he obviously finds his s/o's wit irritating at first. Which his s/o finds annoying, so his s/o just does it more just to get under his skin.

Totally enemies to lovers trope. I see it no other way. FiGhT me.

His s/o would make jokes all the time but I see that one day, his s/o makes a dry joke and he gives them crap for it, and they've just had enough and so they absolutely *slam* him with snark, sass, and wit that cannot be rivalled by Crosshair himself. They get right up into his face; tension as thick as s o u p.

And then he just grabs their face and makes out with them.

His s/o's like "ok" and totally rolls with it.

The Bad Batch wonder why they don't fight as much anymore (not that they're complaining).

Now they both use their sass to bully the regs.

They kinda become this unbeatable pair of unrivalled attitude. Unlike Hunter and his s/o who use it to tease each other, while Cross and his s/o do that a little too, they mostly direct their humour and sarcasm outward. Cross's s/o is a little more good natured than him though and will pull him in when he goes a bit too far.

He generally finds his s/o's humour quite funny now (though he'll never admit it), and the fact that he smiles a little more doesn't go unnoticed by his brothers.

Echo

Ok while Hunter is master of the dry humour, Echo is KING of sarcasm.

Having said that, I feel like Echo would actually far more appreciate light humour over sass/snark/wit/etc.

I think after being through the crap he's been through, echo baby just needs a light hearted, positive beam of sunshine in his life and his s/o is it.

He loves that his s/o always has a way of making others laugh and smile, even on really hard missions and in rough times.

I think his s/o having a lighter humour also makes him feel safer. Like there's no chance of miscommunication whereby this s/o accidently hits a sensitive topic. His s/o sticks to surface level humour which makes it easy to digest.

They are also absolutely fantastic at telling funny stories which is a real treat when his s/o will retell stories about some of the missions the Bad Batch has done and they just execute the story perfectly.

Echo is in love with his s/o's laugh and thinks it's so cute when they giggle at their own jokes.

He'll never say it, but his s/o's humour sometimes reminds Echo of Fives and Cutup, which is a bit bittersweet for him.

They say that "a joyful heart is good medicine" and for Echo that couldn't be more true. His s/o's joyful heart and nature revive and heal him. He is so much happier because of them and will tell them so in between little kisses as his s/o giggles playfully at his gentle yet eager ministrations.

~ Sister

Tag list: @damerondala @imalovernotahater

@kaorikoizumi @xlittlemissydjx @in-the-crosshairs @dionysuskid21

@littlemisscare-all

[crimsonophelia]

Could I get a fluffy and maybe flirty Childe imagine set during his story quest? Instead of the Traveler and Paimon accompanying him, the reader (who works at the Northland Bank as one of Childe’s subordinates) gets slapped with the duty of babysitting Teucer and covering for Childe and his façade as a toy seller in Liyue.

"I must say that your brother is quite cute, sir."

"...I guess it must run in the family."

"Hm? Did you say something, comrade?"

"Oh. Um. Nothing, sir."

Of course, being the perceptive man he is, Childe heard all of what they said. What he ends up doing or saying to the reader? Seeing the magic you’ve worked when anon previously gave you the liberty of it, I leave it entirely up to you. :)

featuring: childe x gn!reader

warnings: a teeny bit suggestive at the end

published: april 27 2021

form: imagine

a/n: i’m gonna be real with you, i was stuck on ar35 for the longest time because i was too cowardly to level up my world so i finally did it today and i jumped from 35 to 41 T_T and now my enemies are stupidly strong. but anyways i just started the childe quest today so im just gonna stick to the part when they’re still in liyue and there’s no fighting wwww

“teucer, i swear to celestia-” you muttered under your breath, as the little redhead slipped from your grasp yet again, running ahead to go look at some kite vendors. “come back here, kid! otherwise you’re gonna be in a heck of a lot of trouble!” 

earlier in the day, you were out running errands for the bank, under tartaglia’s orders, when you had come across rumors of a ruin guard running amok. figuring you would use your spare time and save some local liyue citizens the trouble of having to deal with the feral robot, you defeated the machine with efficient ease. however, in the vicinity, you discovered a lone child showing great excitement at a deactivated ruin guard, jumping and leaping while calling it “mr. cyclops” with a strange elation. 

you figured the boy was snezhnayan, what with his features and clothing reminiscent of the cold climate of your homeland. but why in the world was he out by a ruin hunter all alone? he kept mentioning his brother, a toy seller in liyue, but you could think of absolutely nobody that fit that description. 

so, out of the goodness of your own heart, you decided to take the little boy-- teucer, he called himself--back to liyue harbor with you, and see if you could find this older brother of his. 

however, once you arrived back in the city, your plans were quickly derailed as the little brat seemed to have the attention span of a fruit fly, and was constantly trying to weasel his way into some other dangerous situation without you knowing. 

“god dammit teucer”, you huffed, trying to keep up with the child. who let children have so much energy? your age must finally be catching up to you, you thought. “how about we go back to northland bank? you might like it there” you thought taking him back to your headquarters would stall the boy for enough time for you to find someone who might know the whereabouts of teucer’s brother. there weren’t too many snezhnayans in liyue--whoever his brother is, he can’t be far.

the little boy looked up at you with his big, blue puppy eyes, but you knew his act by now. “no buts, kid. if you’re lucky, we’ll be able to track down you’re brother there.” he sighed, relenting to your orders and following you back to northland bank.

the two of you climbed up the stairwell leading to the entrance of the bank on the second floor, teucer clearly dejected and pouting like a baby. exhausted, you pushed open the doors that you were so familiar with, and ushered the child inside.

much to your surprise, you see tartaglia talking with ekaterina in the lobby. it had been quite a while since you had seen your superior in person, and the surprise certainly was not unwelcome. sometimes you couldn’t stand the man’s smug attitude, yet there was something in his rogueish charisma that you simple couldnt deny attracted you to him.

teucer also seemed to be excited by this sighting of the red-headed harbinger, the little boy’s eyes lighting up with unbridled excitement.

“brother!”

wait. was tartaglia the older brother teucer had been talking about all along?

childe turned around, distracted by teucer’s voice, and upon seeing the little boy, his eyes lit up—first with surprise, then with confusion.

“teucer? what the heck are you doing here in liyue?”

he left the fatui agent with a befuddled look upon her face, and ran towards the child. teucer jumped up into his brother’s broad arms, and they grasped each other in a tight hug, like they had not seen each other for at least an eternity.

ruffling teucer’s hair, tartaglia softened, with an expression unlike anything you had really seen him wear before. he really must care about his family, you thought to yourself.

“so you’re the older brother this little tyke has been talking nonstop about”, you teased tartaglia, elbowing him in his side. “you know, he’s thrown me for a loop this entire day. i didnt think babysitting was part of the job requirement.”

the red-head chuckled abashedly, scratching his head. “sorry about that, [y/n]. the little guy can’t seem to bear being away from his favorite big brother.”

teucer laughed. he truly looked so happy to be with tartaglia again, which made you wonder what the harbinger was like when not on the job. you had known him to be a ruthless war machine, a hedonistic killer who thrived off of the rush battle and bloodshed gave him. childe could take down a dozen men, twice his size, in a matter of minutes, hardly breaking a sweat. yet seeing him interact with teucer, almost a little mini-sized version of himself, his gentleness and care surprised you. perhaps there was more to the man than you had initially thought.

teucer finally detaching himself from tartaglia, looked up at his brother with those same puppy eyes, now full of admiration. “are you here to sell toys to the liyue children, too?”, the child asked. toys? what toys could he possibly be referring to? you and ekaterina, both, looked at childe with confusion.

tartaglia stuttered for a moment. “oh! uhh— yes! yes i am! i was just talking with the nice lady, ms. ekaterina, on how many toys we can sell to all the children in liyue!” he responded, hardly missing a beat. did teucer not know what childe’s actual occupation was?

“wow! my brother really is the coolest person ever!” teucer leaped up and down, hanging onto tartaglia’s pantlegs. looking at this young, untainted innocence, you begun to understand why childe might try and shield the child from the truth.

childe detached the excitable child from his clothing, and beckoned ekaterina over. “ms. ekaterina, would you do me the grand favor of watching teucer for the rest of the day? i’d hate to burden our friend [y/n] after they have already brought him to liyue from celestia-knows-where.” he turns to teucer, telling him “big brother ajax is going to sell many, many toys now! so you need to behave yourself when i’m gone, okay? miss ekaterina will be watching you, and she’s very nice.” he pinches his brother’s cheek, teasing him lightly, and ushering him away with the fatui agent.

it’s now just you and tartaglia in the bank, as the sun was setting and all the other employees had gone home for the day. you heaved a sigh of relief, glad to be rid of baby-sitting duty, after having to deal with teucer’s antics for several hours now.

“i’m really sorry about all of that. i had no idea he would be coming, as a stowaway, no less.” the man looked at you with genuine gratitude. “i don’t want to imagine what might’ve happened to the little brat if you hadn’t been there.”

you chuckled, not quite used to seeing such sincerity coming from the harbinger. most of the time, you had been accustomed to his charismatic facade that he puts on when he becomes childe, the eleventh and one of the most dangerous members of the fatui harbingers.

“don’t worry, it really was no problem. your brother is certainly a handful, but undeniably adorable”, you said, mindlessly gathering your belongings again as you prepared to head out again. “he takes after his older brother quite a bit, i must say.”

“come again?” childe looked behind him, eyebrow cocked.

“oh— nothing. i didnt say anything”, you muttered. shit. you really need to get better at keeping your mouth shut. you refused to be known as the insolent fool with the puppy-love crush on the goddamn eleventh fatui harbinger.

“oh? that didnt really sound like nothing, my dear [y/n].” he smirked. whenever he called you “my dear”, you knew you were in for major teasing. he was definitely having fun with this. he strode towards you innocently, with that usual swagger of his, that tinted everything he did. his walk, his talk, his appearance all oozed confidence, and it was utterly intoxicating.

tartaglia now looked at you with a glint in his eye, the same look he gave enemies before he was about to utterly obliterate them. it was frightening, yet terribly alluring, and you despised how much you fell for it.

suddenly, you felt your back hit the cold, marble wall. you hadn’t even realized that tartaglia had cornered you against a gold pillar, his mere presence forcing you to unconsciously move away from him as he approached you, calculatedly. a lump growing in your throat, you couldn’t bring yourself to even utter a single word in defense, only feeling your cheeks grow hotter and your legs grow weaker.

tartaglia leaned his arm against the pillar, dangerously close to your head, effectively propping himself up with only you between him. you were far too aware of the space—or rather, the lack thereof—separating the two of you, the man’s hot breath audible in the dead, echoing silence of the golden bank.

tartaglia smirked, bringing his face close to yours. “you flatter me greatly, [y/n].” smirking, his breath grazed against your neck, his stare burning into your flesh. the way your name sounded on his lips made your breath hitched in your throat. too hot, you felt way too hot. it was impossible for a hydro user to make you feel such unbearable heat.

“seems as if your clever words aren’t of any use to you now, hmm?” you could feel the mans lips brushing against your jaw, each touch against you leaving a stinging trail. he brought his free hand to caress your own, fingers clasping yours as if you were made of a delicate porcelain, the finest kind liyue had to offer. slowly, as if dragging out each second as long as he could, tartaglia brought your hand to his lips, and planted a long, slow kiss to the back of your palm.

your eyes widened at the sheer eroticism with which he kissed your hand—an act commonly of etiquette somehow being much more lustful, even debauched when tartaglia did it. all you could feel was where his lips met your hand, the phantom burn it left, the slight string of saliva connecting his lips to your hand as he left it, the dark gaze in his eyes as he looked back up at you, clearly aware of how vulnerable you were in his grasp.

“thank you again, my dear. i hope we can continue to work together in the future.”

a/n: jesus christ this got really horny at the end LMFAO anyways i hope you like it! its kinda long but wtv

[mirrorfalls]

Lego Liveblogs ST: TOS, part 6 (of who-the-hell-knows-how-many?)

So... The Naked Time. Probably gonna be another of those episodes where Roddenberry was in full “but on this planet they have a cultural taboo against pants!” mode, but that shouldn’t disqualify it on its own merits. And... wait, is this the legendary “Sorry, neither.” episode?

Let’s find out.

* And we open up on Space Antarctica, where Redshirt #23 gets himself infected with the Thing in record time. This is gonna be fun. ** But for Christ’s sake, guys. If a mannequin was all you could afford for the “woman”, couldn’t you have at least covered the face up with a sheet of snow or something?! * Spock in civvies cuts a surprisingly... fine figure. * Okay, now I’m starting to see why so many reviewers call the Spock-Bones banter in these early eps straight-up racism. * Alright, I know I’ve said this about half the preceding episodes, but this one’s plot looks genuinely foolproof. Kirk and co. need to perform a conflict-free - but still tricky - scientific mission, and an alien pathogen’s just happened to slip onboard. No leaps in the premise, no stupid B-plots to screw up the pacing. Let’s do this. * Peak Trek Aesthetic; using a punchcard to get your lunch out of the replicator. * See, Mr. RedBlueshirt? This is why we always use hand sanitizer after being outdoors. * Gotta say, this is pretty well-written “madness” for a ‘60s pop-adventure show. Just take a guy’s lingering survivor’s guilt and dial it up to eleven. No random obsessions or nursery-rhyme chants or anything. * Guys, it’s a freaking butter knife. That thing couldn’t stab through a- ** Oops. * By the way - some people might consider it laughably cheap, but as something of an amateur germophobe I really like how the pathogen’s mostly depicted as this thing nobody can see but everyone can feel slithering over their hands. * “A valuable study. We may be seeing Earth's distant future.” This line seriously does not get enough attention in Spock retrospectives. * Somehow it never occurred to me that Sulu is the closest the bridge crew has to a jock. * “Bones, I want the impossible checked out too!” “Damn it, Jim, I’m a doctor, not a Scotsman!” ** Seriously, though - I like the general lesson here, that out on the Frontier you can do every procedure and double-check right and still get fucked over, because that’s what it means to explore the Unknown. * Bones why do you have bottles of Lysol just lying around in sickbay * Oh yeah. Shirtless Sulu o’clock. ** And now, The Line. Gotta admit, I wasn’t expecting Nichols to sound quite that... schoolgirlish saying it. * ... do you guys not have security on the bridge or ** Okay, I’ll never say no to a Nerve Pinch, but you’d think there’d be at least one Phaser around... * Ooh, 20 minutes before the gravity whatchamacallit flambes the entire ship. Now that’s pacing. * This guy seems a little too conveniently (and maliciously) competent next to the other infected crewmembers... I doubt they’re going to go with a “Oh, he was faking it the whole time, did everything of his own free will!” twist at the end, so here’s hoping he won’t be the antagonist for the entire rest of the ep. ** OTOH, Scotty gets to be a hands-on MVP for a change, and who doesn’t love that? * Spock, let’s have some more of those Nerve Pinches, chop chop! ** At this point you can count every “Jesus, I’m retiring from this show the first chance I get” line on poor Rand’s face. * Oh for the love of- Were you guys seriously examining Sulu without any protection?! * And now we’re throwing the nurse at Spock. Honestly, every face Nimoy makes here should be its own reaction gif. ** Ohhh, right, this is the Spock-cries episode, too. Really should reread that anecdote sometime. * “I can't change the laws of physics!” That’s quitter talk, Scotty, and you know it. * Jesus, Bones, did you stick him with a needle or a branding iron?! ** Oh, so this is why so many recaps of this episode just talk about everyone being drunk... the pathogen is just water that’s evolved(?) to a different molecular form resembling booze? Sure, fine. ** Insert stock you’d-expect-an-Irishman-to-hold-his-drink-better line here ** (Also, I suppose the crew is lucky that nobody's the go-to-sleep kind of drunk.) * Ahh, our first taste of Spock backstory. Let’s have that good good angst. * Not that I mind a little violence between friends, Kirk, but are you sure you want Spock doing supercomputer-tier calculations while smashed out of his mind? * ... hm. On the one hand, Spock being (temporarily?) shocked back into sobriety on seeing Kirk succumbing is both emotionally touching and narratively efficient. On the other: more proof that when all else fails, all you can do is appeal to a Vulcan’s ego. * Wonder how big the Kirk/Enterprise tag on AO3 is... * Cheap religious symbolism ho! * Took ya long enough to get him an antidote, bud. * Well, that was quick. ** Uhhh, I’ll assume imploding engines are a good thing in this context. * Wait, are you serious? Time travel stuff in the last three minutes of the episode?! * Sooo... our heroes literally get a clean slate from everything that just happened. I guess they still have to live with the memories of it all, but really?

I’m really torn about this one. There’s only the slightest slip of a Lesson here (beyond “don’t take your fucking Hazmat suit off on an alien planet”, I guess), but it’s probably the series’ best-paced episode yet, with tangible stakes and unobtrusive comic relief... right up to those last three minutes, which throws all that beautiful buildup into a woodchipper. Deus ex Machina isn’t even a strong enough word to describe it - probably nothing is.

Ah, well. We’ve got solid proof that the writing team can build a solid start, if nothing else. One day they’ll stick the landing.

Next: In the main study of an exclusive private school in New York’s Westchester County, a strange, silent man sits motionless... what? Wrong Charlie X? C’mon, how different can they be?

[t1dsportacus]

here’s my obligitory SPORTACUS HAS TYPE-ONE DIABETES post

honesly the main reason i like this headcanon is because i think its important for people to understand type-one and how one can be healthy with and despite it. and as a character who is like… the pinical of physical health, i think it would be a really interesting thing for sportacus to have and i love the hypothetical concept of him educating the kids (and therefore, the audience) about type-one since there are SO MANY misconceptions regarding it. 

i’m gonna go into more detail about it under the cut! i actually full on wrote out a story regarding how he explained type-one to the kids.

i like to think that his crystal can alert him about his blood sugar as well, so here’s what im thinking:

sportacus is usually so good at monitoring his type-one, that no one even knows he has it. really, i think he’s so active that his blood sugar is always one the lower side anyway, so when he’s out with the kids he can eat sportscandy without really having to worry about giving himself insulin for it. he does have an insulin pump, though, but no one ever really notices it.

one day, though, while he’s out playing with the kids, he gets a bit too caught up in the came they’re playing and his blood sugar PLUMETS and his crystal goes off (the “your blood sugar is low!” alert is different from the “someone’s in trouble!” alert, so he can very easily tell the difference), and he’s like “whoops!” so he steps out of the game for a little bit. the kids notice that his crystal went off but he doesn’t seem to be rushing off, so they’re a bit confused, and ask, “sportacus, is someone in trouble?”

“nope!” sportacus says, then calls to his airship for some juice.

“but, your crystal!” stephanie says.

“yes, my crystal did alert me of something, but it wasn’t because anyone is in danger.” he catches the juice that his airship sent down, and takes a seat on a nearby bench. 

“what do you mean?” trixie asks. 

“well–” sportacus begins, and then stops. he didn’t realize he had never told the children about his diabetes before. he guesses he forgot about it. “it is a bit of a long story. would you like me to explain?” the kids nod, and sit around him.

“where should i begin?” he asks himself, and then says, “ah!” and starts. “well, you see, in almost all the food we eat, there is something called ‘carbohydrates’, or carbs. this is what our body uses for energy. our body breaks it down into a good, healthy type of sugar – different than the sugar in candy! – that we need to keep going. does that make sense?” the kids nod, with a few chimes of “yeah, i think so,” and the like, so sportacus continues.

“this good sugar, called ‘glucose’ or ‘blood sugar’, is the source of our body’s energy. it is necessary,” he says. “however, there is something our bodies need in order to turn it into energy. that thing is called ‘insulin’. it is made here–” he points to the general area in his own body where his pancreas is “– and is spread throughout the body to break down blood sugar to make it energy. all of you have very efficient bodies: your bodies can make and regulate insulin all by themselves!” 

the kids pike up with their, “wow!”s and “cool!”s and sportacus smiles to himself, happy that they’re so excited to learn about this sort of thing. “but,” he says once they quiet down, “not everyone’s body is like this.”

“huh?” trixie says. “why not?”

“well, another thing our body has is something called an ‘immune system’. that is your body’s own personal super hero!” he pokes ziggy in the stomach as he speeks, knowing that what he said is something that will make ziggy excited (he’s right). “your immune system fights off all the bad things in your body, and helps you to not get sick. but sometimes, your immune system makes mistakes.”

“it DOES?” ziggy asks, in awe. 

“it does!” sportacus says. “my immune system, and a lot of other people’s, thinks the insulin our body makes is a bad guy, so it gets rid of it.”

“wait – you don’t get insulin?” stephanie asks, shocked. “what happens!”

“i have this!” sportacus gesures at the insulin pump clipped to one of his pockets. the children gape at it, as they have never noticed it before.

“whoa!” pixel says, immediatley fascinated by the technology. “what does it do?”

“it gives my body different insulin; a type that my immune system doesn’t try to get rid of!“ 

“what– what– what happens when you don’t have insulin?” ziggy aks.

“the glucose in my blood builds up, because i have no insulin to turn it into energy. it is very unhealthy.”

“that sounds bad!” stingy says.

“it is – but don’t worry! not only do i have this –” he pats his insulin pump “– to keep my blood sugar in the right place, but i can regulate it with exersize, too! exersize also lowers your blood sugar.”

the kids pipe up with their excitement and facination again, before trixie stops and asks, “wait. what does this have to do with your crystal going off, then? you were playing soccer with us, so you were exersizing, right? that means your blood sugar should be fine!”

“unfortuntely, it is not that simple,” sportacus says with a fond smile. “remember how i said that your bodies are good at regulating the amount of insulin you have? that means your body makes sure your blood sugar is never too high OR too low. my body cannot do that either. when your blood sugar is too LOW, that is also bad. it can be worse than when your blood sugar is too high!” 

“whoa, really?”

sportacus nods just as his crystal beeps again. oh, he had completely forgotten about his juice. he is really begining to feel the low, now; his head hurts, and he is feeling a bit woozy. he puts a hold on his explaination, and downs a good half of his juice. 

“normally,” he says after he has swallowed, “my blood sugar is okay because i pay close attention to it. i eat a lot of sportscandy while i’m being active to keep my blood sugar from getting too low. i seem to have gotten a bit too into today’s game, though, so i forgot about it!” 

stingy gasps. “that’s BAD, sprotacus!” he says.

sportacus laughs. “it is, but its okay, because i have juice now! juice brings my blood sugar up very fast.” he takes another sip of his juice, thinking. “there are times, too, where i might get so low i might need something with REAL sugar. like, cake frosting or something.”

“really?” stephanie asks. “won’t that put you in a sugar meltdown?”

“it will, but being in a sugar meltdown is actually quite preferrable to having a very low blood sugar.” 

“huh. so, sugar meltdowns have nothing to do with this, then?”

“they do not. sugar meltdowns are a different thing entirely.”

“hm. werid,” she says, but does not ask anymore questions about it. 

sportacus waits a little bit, then checks his blood sugar on his pump. it has gone up enough now that they can continue their game of soccer.

“wait, sportacus,” trixie asks before the game really starts up again, “is there a name for all of this? like, what is it called?”

“oh! it is called type-one diabetes,” sportacus says. “a lot of people have it, and it can be a bit more difficult for us to stay healthy, but if we do a good job watcing our blood sugar and giving ourselves insulin when we need it, we can live a normal, healthy life, just like everyone else!”

“ooh, neat!” trixie says. “okay, enough talk. time to play!”

before long, they have launched back into their game, playing as if nothing strange had happened. 

[dilldaydreamer-blog]

PVT: Family Natters

(Discord RP Between PI and Jude @redstringsandpidgeons ) PI>JH Ah. Jude. Do you have a moment?

JH: YES SIR over JH: HOW MAY I HELP YOU ? over

PI: Oh! It wasn't anything dire. PI: It was actually I suppose a more personal conversation?

JH: OH JH: WHATS UP THEN ? over

PI: I was mostly thinking about the past while. PI: And uh PI: I've already started to lose my nerve and train of thought. PI: I guess I wanted to be open with you because there is a bit of guilty feelings on a matter and it doesn't feel right to not mention it?

JH:  ?

PI: I'm an alien. PI: Er...by that I mean I'm carapacian. PI: I'm sorry. I generally try to make it not a very known thing and give everyone the impression I'm also human born and raised on Earth.  Partially for work and security reasons. PI: But the truth is I was born on Prospit. PI: Er...cloned on Prospit I guess would be a better term. PI: I only moved to Earth later on in my life.

JH: I THINK I HAD THIS DISCUSSION ALREADY WITH SOMEBODY ELSE JH: AND TECHNICALLY I'M THE ALIEN HERE over JH: I SEE JH: WHY WOULD YOU FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT ? over JH: YOU HAD YOUR REASONS TO HIDE YOUR ORIGINS AND I RESPECT THAT over JH: YOU NEVER KNOW WHO IS WATCHING OR HEARING YOUR CONVERSATIONS JH: IF KEEPING A FACADE LIKE THAT HELPS YOU BE COMFORTABLE SO BE IT JH: NEVER LET BIG BROTHER KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE UP TO over JH: THAT SAID JH: THAT MEANS I'M THE ONLY HUMAN AT THE PRECINCT THEN ? over

PI: There's still Egbert.

JH: OH GOOD over

PI: I suppose I feel guilty because for a time it felt like we were building a comradry over our combined human...uh...humaning. PI: And I didn't want to forge any bonds on the backs of deception PI: If it is any consolation, I have spent more time on Earth than I have on Prospit at this point.

JH: OUR RELATIONSHIP WASN'T ONLY BASED ON SUCH A CONNECTION JH: I WOULD BE DIMINISHING IT'S EXTENT BY ONLY RESUMING IT TO THAT MINIMAL DETAIL over JH: BUT SINCE WE ARE HERE ALREADY JH: WHY WOULD YOU DENY YOUR BIRTHPLACE ? over JH: WELL JH: CLONEPLACE over

PI: Well. PI: I could say that it was primarily for work purposes. PI: The prospitian race is very unpopular here on Derse for a multitude of reasons. PI: Working for the law is difficult as is. Working while looking like that which some have spent generations in brutal warfare....extra difficult. PI: But I cannot deny that I. PI: Well. PI: It's a complicated situation.

JH: MAKES SENSE over JH: YOU DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN IT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO over JH: BUT CAN I ASK YOU THEN JH: IF YOU PARTICIPATED IN THE WAR ? over JH: UNLESS THAT'S TOO PERSONAL over

PI: I did not. PI: I was actually in the first batch of clones that was made after the war's end. PI: Sort of the uh...first generation in the new peaceful time.

JH: I SEE over

PI: But, yes. I wanted you to know because. PI: Well I guess the best way to describe it is I do feel somewhat paternally inclined towards you. PI: Which admittedly may be a byproduct of who and what I am. PI: Which I guess is a fancy way of "it feels uncomfortable to feel like I was lying to you on something like that."

JH: I WAS UNSURE IF YOUR PATERNAL JOKES WERE JUST THAT JH: OR IT WAS FOR REAL over JH:  I SEE JH: WELL I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT IM NOT MAD THAT I WAS LIED TO JH: IN THIS CASE YOU HAD VERY GOOD REASONS JH: I RESPECT YOU TRYING TO KEEP A LOW PROFILE over

PI: They are a bit of both. PI: I mean I initially started with just it to be friendly jest. PI: But ah...you're very easy to get attached to! Very likable. PI: It's...probably also a bit of a holdover from older coding. PI: Something which would hasten the bonds of familial love since often many new clones would arrive  as full adults and need older models to guide them PI: But without the years of raising them from infancy...hard wired shortcuts were added. PI: Which doesn't mean the feelings are disengenuine!  Just expedited!

JH: I WAS ABOUT TO ASK THAT JH: I DO NOT DOUBT THEY ARE REAL IF YOU ARE SURE ABOUT IT over JH: BUT I STILL WANT TO KNOW IF YOU EVER REALIZE IT'S JUST  A PRODUCT OF YOUR CODING ONE DAY JH: I ALREADY HAVE A VERY BAD EXPERIENCE WITH AN ABSENT AND NOT VERY CARING DAD over JH: DO NOT WISH TO REPEAT SUCH EXPERIENCE over

PI: I had actually wanted to ask about your comfort on such things. PI: Because I realize it may be...horrifyingly awkward? PI: And the last thing I want to do is put you in a spot where you feel presured or uncomfortable because of how I've been acting. PI: Which I guess is also my way of saying if I have been overbearing or uncomfortable...please let me know and I can take effort to curb things on my end.

JH: THE REASON WHY I HAVEN'T SAID ANYTHING BAD ABOUT IT JH: IT'S BECAUSE I ACTUALLY FIND YOUR COMPANY AND SUCH TYPE OF APPROACH VERY COMFORTING over JH:  I KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE AWKWARD TO JUST COME OUT OF NOWHERE JH: AND ACTUALLY ADMIT I APPRECIATE YOU AS A FATHERLY FIGURE OF THE SORTS ? over JH: I DONT WANT YOU TO FEEL LIKE YOU NEED TO ADOPT ME OR ANYTHING over JH: NOT LIKE LITERAL ADOPTION JH: BUT YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM TRYNG TO SAY ? JH: RIGHT ? over

PI: I understand. PI: I do genuinely enjoy your company. PI: And since I keep saying "I guess this is my way of saying..." PI: I guess this is my way of saying I would like to sort of semi-officially continue on this relationship path with you. PI: No actual pressure, no rush to sign papers or anything, just...see how it goes? PI: There's not much experience on the "Will you be my son" front of hallmark cards I realize. PI: Maybe I should have made one of those little notes wtith the Y / N to circle....

JH: IT WOULD BE HILARIOUS IF YOU JUST HAD SENT ME THIS over [Enlosed Image: dylm.jpg]

JH: BUT WITH ANOTHER TITLE over JH: TO WHICH I HAVE TO REPLY THAT YES I AM COMFORTABLE WITH THIS ARRANGEMENT JH: AND I HOPE I DO NOT DRIVE YOU AWAY OR DISAPPOINT YOU over

PI: I will save that image for actual adoption paper time should it come to that. :) PI: Also ah, well I would say my reaction would be something of "Huzzah!" or "Yee!" but it feels somewhat innappropriate. PI: So I'll just say I am comfortable with it too and that I too hope I do not drive you away or disappoint you! PI: Son. :D

JH: DOES THIS MEAN I WILL BE A VICTIM OF DAD JOKES ? over

PI: I think we're all the victim for those. PI: Maybe. I'm still new to this whole thing.  May be a bit shaky.

JH: I'M SURE MR ELLIOT WILL BE GLAD TO ASSIST YOU IN THIS DAD BUSINESS OF JOKES over

PI:  By assist you mean 'make me suffer because he's far more punny than I ever could be' you are correct. PI: But ah! Thank you! I will do my best to not disappoint. PI: Oh...actual business now. PI: I'm going to be taking time in the next few days to try to gather up some of the surveilance footage in some of the hidden cameras I had placed. Also to see if any were damaged in all the situation.  Would you like to come along for some of that? PI: Though that will be a little bit after some of the immediate clean-up is taken care of.

JH: MR ELLIOT IS THE MASTER OF PUNS THAT'S TRUE over JH: HM ? JH: OF COURSE SIR JH: JUST LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU NEED ME AND I WILL BE THERE over

PI: Can do! PI: I should get back to work myself now. PI: Thank you for all the help with the reports and organizing things at the precinct. PI: It has made things work a lot more efficiently.

JH: NO PROBLEM SIR JH: I HONESTLY DIDN'T WANT TO GO ON PATROL TODAY ANYWAY JH: PEOPLE ARE STILL VERY STRESSED AND SOMETIMES I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY OTHER THAN JUST "I'M SORRY" over

PI: That is a very relatable feeling. PI: Sometimes it is best to just take time to focus on tasks that allow you to feel helpful but without extra stress due to social interactions. PI: Keep taking care of yourself, get plenty of rest where you can.

JH: YES OF COURSE JH: YOU TOO MR PEMBROOKE over

[kalon-confessions-blog]

Hello my dears,

[asap if you will tree]

phew okay so please please bare with me on this, it's going to be long and rambling and im sure it will jump back and forth a lot so you've had a fair amount of warning :p

im going to start off with the long "essay" posts from yesterday, just to kinda get my foot hold on things c: and guys please understand that in writing this i am really not trying to come off as rude or attackful or anything, and i apologize if i do or if i come off overly "unprofessional" it seems a lot of the time when i try to be super professional i come off as condescending or cold and when i try to be a bit more relaxed im just being silly or unprofessional.

"artists not doing anything for months and then getting to come back whenever they want, taking up a slot that could’ve been an active artist filled with energy and vigor to create instead."

I've seen this mentioned a lot ,, the whole slot thing. the thing is guys, that we don't have a set number of "slots" on staff ,, really we base what we think we need on how efficiently the staff we currently have is functioning. I know recently [the last month or so] things have been a little slow but you have to remember that it was the end of the year, many staff members [and heck people in general] we're busy with finals/vacations/family/the holidays and a whole slew of other things. Bringing in more staff during the holiday season because there a bit of a dip in activity doesn't really make a whole bunch of sense in my opinion because its just the natural ebb and flow of how things go, it happens every year. 

"nursery slots being weeks and even months overdue while dozens of personal work and things for other people get put out"

I'll be the first to admit ,, this is actually a bit of a problem ,, it doesn't happen with every artists but I do understand that sometimes owed work gets forgotten, especially when the artist keeps taking on more and more in an attempt to keep up with demand that the community has created. we are aware of this, and myself and Karmel have been discussing it for quite awhile and throwing ideas back and forth for a way to manage it ,, at the time I think we have a pretty solid solution and it after a bit more discussing and working out the kinks it should be able to be implemented fairly soon and shouldn't take too long to see the effects c: i do apologize to anyone that has been on the brunt end of having to wait. one thing you can always do though is message the artist directly to see whats up, and if you don't get an answer then you can always come to myself or Karmel [or if you're noticing something that you aren't a part of you can even submit it to us anonymously via ask or tumblr!!

"hardly anyone but a handful of artists having hm customs open almost constantly, and i’m sure we all know why that is, other than the few artists who genuinely can’t open slots right now."

HM customs have always been a bit of tricky situation since it was switched so that only offical team members could do them and I do apologize that it was never fully explored how to best impliment this system. in the beginning i dont think it was set up to handle a community the size of which we have and hasn't ever really been revised to help fix it. with that being said though we do have a fancy new thread you may want to check out !! its still in the works as all the artists find their spots but there are already several artists who have started using it if you would like to keep track. its called the <a href="http://www.chickensmoothie.com/Forum/viewtopic.php?f=87&t=3701780">Kalon Artist Alley</a>!! essentially every artist on the Kalon team has a post here and they will be able to detail what work they are open for, lay out what projects they currently have, and list any examples or prices [as they may apply] for their work! with this it should make it a lot more easy to find an artist that is open to HM customs and browse just who you might want to partner with!

"staff not responding even to help questions until it’s irrelevant or the other person completely forgot they even asked. not enough nursery artists who are actually active to compensate for the rise in kalon members looking for batches."

I do apologize for any questions that have went unanswered! Its really unfortunate that we've gotten this reputation, but I do swear to you that it is never intentional! Sometimes I so wish I could just show you guys a day in the life of the staff chat, it is honestly off the hook 24/7 with people chatting about all kinds of different business from questions to designs/growths/rule breaking and a whole slew of everything in between! And often times our inboxes are just the same, I know mine is! Things fall through the cracks sometimes in a community so big and id be willing to bet that more often than not we actually have discussed the question at hand and it may just be that the conversation rolled over to something new that distracted the original staff member handling it from responding to you and then never picked it back up. that is something that we will have to start working a lot harder on, but like i said, it is absolutely never intentional that we are forgetting responses. if you dont hear back usually within 72 hours it is absolutely okay for you to resend the message or to send it to a new staff member !!

"staff don’t have an obligation to be active since if they aren’t, they don’t get the activity rewards, but again, like i said in a previous point, artist activity is a serious issue that isn’t taken seriously enough, or at all. if people aren’t active but get on to post maybe one kalon every few months, that’s an issue and needs to be talked to with the person. if they can’t get on enough to post kalons more than every few months, maybe they should take a break and someone who can be more active can be brought in."

like you mentioned, i kinda touched on this one in the first response, however I would also like to point something else out. while i dont consider Kalons to be a business and myself and Karmel dont run them as such, even if you are looking at this from a real world employment there are actually a lot of different levels of activity that are acceptable!! normally you have full time ,, part time ,, and PRN [as needed] employees all working for the same company. my artists are just like that in a lot of respects and its completely unfair to say they dont deserve compensation for what they do when they are able to do it. they aren't taking up a slot from anyone else and they are still providing amazing designs and input into the community ,, heck a lot of the time when an artist is unable to make designs they are still active in the staff chat and in other areas that may not be their primary duty as an artist.

" staff apparently being too big to manage properly"

[cutting this one a little short]

you are absolutely right !! we have said this a lot and that's because we really do mean it !! and when we talk about staff being too big to manage we dont actually mean that all those names are just too much, we mean that the active people that we are currently managing is quite a lot !! looking back on our activity documentation for the last 6 months there has consistently been an average of 30+ active artists working !! and that not even including our mods or myself and Karmel ,, for two people who have adult lives off the internet that is a lot to manage and we are trying our absolute best while still not spreading ourselves too thin because then the issues that you have already expressed just become more exaggerated when we have to provide them with even less attention than we already do. and while we think that the staff we have right now is very strong and putting out a lot of work already [did you know that last month alone over 200 designs were put into the community just from the nursery and main adopts ?? and over the last 6 months over 2,000 designs were?] we have opened the nursery search again and may soon be opening the main artists search as well to alleviate some of the demand that you guys are throwing out there c: 

I'm not going to quote any of the last point as its quite long but to a degree I would like to agree, just in all honesty. I haven't been able to be a real part of the actually community for quite some time since becoming a co-owner and in that time from the position i am in I have seen a lot of stuff. I know that it may seem like no body cares but really I think the issue is just in a community this large in general it can be hard to find a foot hold. now im not making any excuses for those that go out of their way to ignore everyone or only talk to their friend group, but I do also know a lot of people that try their hardest to talk to new people or as many people as they can. i wish there were some easy clear cut way that I could address this and have it fixed in just a couple of days but the sad truth is that you are right, this is more than just what we as staff can tackle by ourselves and really takes the effort of the entire community but we are trying to promote it !! our events have shifted from just token grabs to be more development and cooperation based and often offer or require the interaction with community members that you may not know !! while I dont have any wonderful news for how we plan to fix it please know that we see the rift and we do want to fix it ,, if you or anything really has suggestions or just wants to talk about the experiences that made their introduction to the community better/worse i would honestly really urge you to come talk to me or any staff member. i promise you for all the anxiety it can cause to message one of us we are really just a group of massive dweebs and our side chat would definately prove that. we don't ever aim to make anyone uncomfortable or to be rude when responding to you guys and i apologize if it has ever come off that way when dealing with one of us with Kalon related things. one good thing about such a big staff is that if you have an issue with one of us you can always find someone else <3

Im sure i've missed some stuff and i know i had origianlly planned to address more than just the essay posts but its getting late for me and I have a really big day tomorrow ,, so if ive missed someone or you guys have anything else you would like to have addressed I would actually really urge you to send it on over to the Kalon tumblr. you can find it at kalon-adopts.tumblr.com [where this was submitted from] !! i vagued it earlier but yeah !! its brand spanking new and still under a lot of construction as far as  coding and the like goes but it is functional !! as much as i despise the premise of both of the confessions blog i have realized that Tumblr has become quite an ingrained part of the CS and Kalon community and I would love to continue engage with you guys over it. I know its not the same as the confessions blog but hopefully you will feel more at ease contacting us anonmously there or just sharing your views and opinions in general c: we plan to eventually link the blog on our CS pages once its compeltely set up so please keep in mind nothing explicit will ever be allowed to be submitted there.

ack so yeah here's my really long and drawn out submission that i promised earlier c: i hope you guys read a bit of it and maybe understand a bit more now. i know sometimes it can seem like the staff is being really quiet and maybe not doing anything at all but i can assure you that we are always abuzz and honestly we are just about everywhere listening to just about everything and in some way or another almost all complaints are brought up and discussed. we may not post or announce every little move we are making but i cross my heart and pinky promise that we are working tirelessly to try and improve this community for you guys and for ourselves ,, we love this species and we know that without each and every one of you there wouldn't be anything for us to love so we want to make it as friendly and functioning as we can. all i ask is that you give us a little understanding and patients and i promise you are going to see the positive outcome <3

[also please forgive any mistake its late for me and im tired and not the best at typing anyways lol]

-Wicced!

[lusilly]

out of the woods

I realized I’ve never actually written Damian and Iris’s first kiss, so :)

this is all in canon with Earth-28

           “What travels all around the world, but always stays in the corner?”

           “A stamp.”

           “The poor have me. The rich need me. What am I?”

           “Nothing.”

           “What, if you put it in a barrel, will make the barrel lighter?”

           Damian hesitated, then frowned. “A – lower caliber bullet?” His father cocked an eyebrow, and the penny dropped. “Oh,” he said. “Not that kind of barrel. A hole.”

           “Forward,” began Bruce, “I am heavy. Backwards, I am not. What am I?”

           “A ton,” said Damian.

           “What kind of flowers grow on your face?”

           “Tulips,” Damian said, “but that one’s dumb.”

           “You have one match,” Bruce instructed him, tone very serious. “You enter a room in which there is a kerosene lamp, an oil burner, and a wood burning stove. Which do you light first?”

           “The match,” answered Damian.

           At this, Bruce finally gave an approving nod. He typed something in the computer, apparently distracted, as Damian finished tugging on his gloves. “A man is found dead on the beach next to a rock,” said Bruce; Damian turned to watch his father, listening. “The rock was the cause of death, but never physically touched him. How did he die?”

           “He’s Superman,” said Damian, without skipping a beat. “The rock is Kryptonite. Which is actually carcinogenic to any creature, but I suppose for the sake of the riddle it has to be someone who’d die of Kryptonite exposure relatively quickly.”

           “Good,” Bruce said, without turning from the screen. “How far can you run into the woods?”

           There was a moment’s pause. Damian blinked at his father. “Is that it?” he asked.

           “That’s it,” Bruce replied. “How far can you run into the woods?”

           Damian took a long breath, considering this. His brow was knit in concentration. “The entire way through?”

           “No.”

           “As far as you can?”

           “No.”

           “As far as I can?”

           “No.”

           There was another short silence as Damian wracked his brain. “Is this one of those, when are the woods not the woods? sort of riddles?

           “No,” answered Bruce. “It’s very straightforward.”

           “How far can you run into the woods?”

           Bruce nodded. “How far can you run into the woods.”

           Damian made a noise. “Hm. Can I think on it?”

           Resuming his usual work on the computer, Bruce said, “Though that isn’t usually protocol in the field, I know you’re running late, so I’ll excuse you just this once.”

           Pressing his domino mask across his face, Damian headed down the steps from the computer hub down to the garage below. “Thanks,” he called. “I’ll have it figured out by the time I get back on Monday.”

           Raising his voice to be heard as Damian headed away from him, Bruce called, “I thought we agreed Sunday night?”

           “Alfred said Monday was fine if I checked in.”

           Begrudgingly, Bruce stopped himself from protesting this. He’d have a conversation with Alfred later. “Be careful,” he called, as a small light on his computer screen informed him Damian was getting into the personal jet. “Have fun.”

           The comm inside the jet’s cockpit picked up Damian’s reply, playing it directly out of the computer speakers. “How far can you run into the woods?” he repeated, apparently ignoring his father’s farewell. “Suppose I’ll have to find out, hm?”

           The engine roared. A few minutes later, Damian was gone. Bruce sat alone in the empty cave. It was good that Damian was gone more often, spending more time with the Titans, but it also had the odd effect of making the Cave and the Manor itself feel bigger, emptier. Lonelier.

           On the flight to Titans Tower, Damian checked in with the rest of his team.

            “What do you mean you’re not coming?” he demanded.

           Lian Harper let out a frustrated sigh. “I mean I’m not coming, I have a family thing.”

           “Is it a mission?”

           “No, it’s not a mission, it’s a family thing.”

           “What kind of-?”

           “Oh, right,” said Lian, cutting him off, “I’m sorry Robin, I forgot all of your meaningful familial engagements are missions, my bad.”

           This was true enough that Damian didn’t feel particularly cut by it, so he just began cautiously, “Arsenal, I thought we were doing training this weekend.”

           “It’s not like I’m stopping you. You know you can actually train without me, right?” Then she added, “And without Sin either, she happens to be in my family so she’s also gotta go to the family thing.”

           “You and Sin are our best hand-to-hand combatants. What am I supposed to do without either of you to spar against?”

           “Go toe-to-toe with a Kryptonian? Wait, take a video, I want to see Superboy beating the hell out of you.”

           Chris wasn’t coming this weekend either, which Damian knew because Superman had reached out to his father to let him know that he would be taking some time off for what Damian’s father had called medical leave, but that didn’t sound right to Damian. He knew that Chris had been having some trouble adapting to working in a group, and suspected that maybe he needed some time to decompress, or something. There was something a little off about Chris which Damian couldn’t quite figure out yet, but Chris was surprisingly bad at leadership for being the son of Superman, and awfully quiet in a crowd, and even had difficulty maintaining eye contact for too long. Though Damian didn’t want to pry – he hated the idea of the others noticing his own problems and trying to piece together the illness that haunted him –he was also terribly curious.

           Either way, Damian didn’t mention anything about Chris to Lian. Instead he just ended the call, then hesitated, then opened another line on his commlink.

           “GL,” he said. There was nothing. “Green Lantern, come in.”

           A couple minutes later, he received a text on his encrypted personal phone. Cant pick up Im in civvies.

           He texted her back. Are you coming this weekend?

           No I cant, read her reply, not much later. Its my quince

           Damian didn’t know what quince meant other than fifteen in Spanish, so he didn’t reply. Instead he thought briefly of trying to get a hold of Maxy, but her parents didn’t allow her to spend the night on her own yet anyway, so that seemed kind of pointless.

           Jai West also rarely spend the night at Titans Tower, but he was the only other person left that Damian could think of, and he was starting to feel a little desperate.

           “Jai,” he said at once, when the line picked up. “How are you?”

           On the other end, Jai sounded confused. “Robin? Why are you calling me?”

           Tactful as ever. “I thought we were meeting at the Tower this weekend, but it seems things will be awfully quiet. I was wondering if you planned on coming?”

           “Um, no. I have to do homework.”

           “And you couldn’t do it at the Tower?”

           “Not really, because usually you guys all have to rush out at once to do a mission or something, and I’m not a big fan of the way the giant T-shaped tower is basically a supervillain magnet.”

           This was more or less fair. “Well, I’ll be there if you do decide to stop by.”

           “OK,” said Jai. “I think Irey’s already there anyway, so I don’t really have a ride.”

           Something dropped into the pit of Damian’s stomach. “I see,” he said. “Well, let me know if you’d like to come. I can always pick you up.”

           “Okey-doke. Hey, maybe next weekend.”

           “Maybe next weekend,” Damian agreed. “Goodnight, then.”

           “’Bye, Robin.”

           The jet continued to race through the sky, chasing the setting sun. Below him, he could see a great rolling forest splayed across the landscape. How far can you run into the woods? As far as you could walk, just faster?

           He slowed his pace as he reached Titans Tower, circling three times, then landing beneath the Bay. Maybe he wouldn’t stay the entire weekend; but then again, the earlier he left, the sooner he’d have to come up with the answer to his father’s riddle. It seemed frustratingly impossible at the moment, but perhaps the frustration was mostly just a redirection from something else.

           So he exited the jet and headed up into the Tower itself with a heavy, roiling feeling in his stomach, nervous and unwell.

           Recently, for what was the fifth time since he’d started taking medication, he’d had a change in dosage; after a month or so on his previous meds, his anxiety had gotten so bad he’d barely been able to spend time with the Titans at all, even though he had categorically refused to admit this to his father. But biweekly appointments with a therapist meant that these things were caught earlier rather than later, and now here he was, trying a different cocktail of medication to see if the side effects would be more tolerable this time.

           Damian felt like a living economics experiment, an exercise in pareto efficiency: what was the optimal combination to make the symptoms of his OCD better off without making at least one other side effect worse off? At least in economics one could always solve dilemmas like these with a charts and tables and numbers. Nothing was that uncomplex for Damian.

           But at least the anxiety in the pit of his stomach wasn’t paralyzing as he headed up to the main level of the Tower. The big television, which took up nearly an entire wall, was on when Damian stepped out of the elevator.

           A girl popped her head over the couch. “Robin!” she said, sounding a little surprised. “I didn’t know if you were coming!” She laughed, leaning over the back of the couch. “I kind of thought I’d have the Tower to myself tonight. But this is cool, that’d be boring anyway.”

           Damian stood awkwardly by the elevator. “Impulse,” he said. She was not wearing her uniform, and her curly hair was big and surrounded her head like a halo, instead of in her usual braids. He suddenly felt very stupid, standing there in his full uniform and mask. “I…didn’t realize you were here already.”

           This was a lie, but his mouth was suddenly dry and he had to come up with something to say to avoid sounding stupid. Iris just grinned at him.

           She pointed back at the TV screen. “You want to watch?” she asked. “It’s kind of boring, but Lian got me addicted.”

           “I have some training to do,” Damian blurted out.

           “Oh,” she said. “OK. Well, I’ll be here.”

           There was a momentary pause. Iris didn’t turn away, just watched him expectantly. “I…suppose I could put it off a little,” he said, finally. She beamed at him, her face lighting up. “Watching television doesn’t appear to require the uniform, though,” he added. “I’ll go change.”

           “It’s OK,” said Iris quickly. “I like the costume! It’s nice.”

           If she, too, blushed, Damian didn’t catch it. While he tried furiously not to look her in the eye, she let out a little laugh. In the blink of an eye, she appeared before him, running so fast it could’ve been teleportation.

           Without hesitating, she reached out and gently peeled at the corner of his domino mask, tugging it off his skin. Despite himself, he let her.

           “You’re good,” she told him, crossing her arms as if appraising him like a piece of art. “It’s weird when you leave the mask on, but I don’t mind everything else if you don’t mind it.”

           She was very close to him. He reached out and snatched his mask back from her, then rubbed at his left eye, then caught himself and stopped. “Maybe I do mind.”

           “Maybe you don’t,” she countered.

           She flickered again, then reappeared at the couch. “Come watch with me?” she asked, glancing back at him from over the couch’s back.

           He hesitated another moment, then he let out a long breath and set aside his mask. He took off his cape, then his gloves, then his boots, and then he joined Iris on the couch. He sat at the opposite side, transparently as far away from her as possible.

           “What is this?” he asked, watching the screen.

           “Kay-you-double-you-tee-kay,” Iris replied. When he glanced at her, she grinned at him and then clarified, “Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Do you know the Kardashians? I feel like your dad’s famous enough that odds are good you’ve run into them at some point.”

           Damian looked back towards the screen. “I don’t know the Kardashians,” he said, watching whatever reality TV drama was going down. “I don’t even know who they are.”

           “Consider yourself lucky,” Iris told him, throwing a nice embroidered pillow at him. “They’re really annoying.”

           “Why do you watch the show, then?”

           She shrugged. “Guilty pleasure.”

           They sat in silence for a while, watching TV. Iris was also on her phone, scrolling through something, playing a game; she could never focus on one thing for too long. Damian, on the other hand, found the show somewhat riveting, but couldn’t really get into it because he was acutely aware of the fact that Iris was sitting a mere few feet away from him.

           An episode and a half passed. Damian glanced at Iris. She was typing something into her phone, probably texting someone. There was a smile on her face.

           He rubbed at his eye, then stopped it. “I talked to your brother,” he said, all of the sudden. “He said he had homework to finish, or something?”

           Iris glanced up. “Oh, yeah,” she said. “My mom’s been sort of training him on xenophysics lately. It’s cool.”

           “Just him? Not you?”

           With a smile that was almost apologetic, Iris explained, “I kind of got bored after she explained it the first time. He’s learning all the numbers and stuff, I don’t really need that.”

           “Why not?”

           She looked back to her phone. “’Cause I get it already,” she said mildly. “Most people need math and stuff to understand things like that, so they can kind of work it out step by step. When you’re as fast as I am it’s like explanations like that are moving in slow motion. I get it. I don’t need to go backwards.”

           Damian found this fascinating. He watched her, a gentle frown on his face. “So you don’t need to understand the equation,” he began, thoughtfully, “if you already understand the answer.”

           At this, she looked up, and actually lowered her phone to her lap. “Yeah,” she said. “Basically.”

           He nodded. “I can relate. My friend Colin, he’s our age,” he remembered Iris’s weird rapid-aging phenomenon and corrected, “my age – I’ve been tutoring him in chemistry. It’s basic stuff but sometimes it gets very difficult to explain, because it’s like,” he paused, searching for the right way to express this, “it’s like – there, that is the answer, obviously, but then he asks how I got there and I can’t really tell him.”

           Iris’s eyes lit up. “Yeah!” she said, nodding. “Exactly! Like, I don’t know how I know that but I just know it.”

           There was an awkward sort of silence. On the TV, Kim gave a tearful confession. Damian asked, casually, “So you don’t have any homework to take care of while you’re here?”

           “No,” answered Iris, shaking her head. “I have a couple assignments but I can do them on Sunday. How ‘bout you?”

           “I have an assignment too,” Damian said, thinking of the riddle. “But I don’t need to get it done right away.”

           Iris cocked an eyebrow at him. “Do you go to school?”

           “No,” he said. “Homeschooled. You?”

           She shook her head. “Same. I was in middle school with Jai for a little bit but I couldn’t make it through classes. Too boring.”

           Damian, who had never been in a traditional classroom and therefore couldn’t relate, just sort of nodded at this. The TV show droned on before them, but it was quickly growing old, so Damian offered, “Would you like to…go over some case files? Maybe we can identify our next mission before it falls into our lap.”

           Iris looked at him brightly. “That could be fun,” he said. “Everyone else might want a say, though.”

           Damian shrugged. “They’re not here,” he said simply.

           For a second, she just watched him with something almost like suspicion in her eyes. Then a smile stole across her lips. “I guess so,” she said. “C’mon.” She was instantly on her feet, across the room, at the door. “Let’s go.”

           When she began heading down towards the computer hub, Damian instead took her by the hand and pulled her in another direction. As soon as he realized what he was doing, heat rose suddenly to his face and he let go of her; embarrassed, he did not glance around to see her face. If he had, he might’ve seen she was smiling.

           “My, uh,” he cleared his throat, “database on the computer downstairs is better. It’s got all of Batman’s files, so it’s more detailed.”

           “All of Batman’s files?” asked Iris. If she was faking impressed, Damian couldn’t tell. “Wow.”

           They went downstairs, to where Damian had an entire floor of the Tower to himself. Milagro liked to make fun of him for it, but he needed the room for his own tech and uniform and computer and also for his personal space.

           There was only one seat before his massive computer downstairs, itself a smaller version of the Batcomputer in the Cave. He insisted that Iris take it, then giggled at him. “What a gentleman,” she said, amused. “You can always sit on my lap if you get tired of standing.”

           He fought the blush rising to his cheeks.

           Together they scrolled through the list of active cases, focusing in their particular area. “Looks like Green Arrow and the rest of his team take care of the worst missions up here,” said Damian, gesturing to a swath of dots on the map which represented completed missions. “That must be what they’re doing this weekend.”

           “This weekend?” echoed Iris doubtfully. “I don’t think GA’s taking any missions this weekend.”

           Damian raised an eyebrow at her. “I heard otherwise from Arsenal.”

           Iris blinked at him, then she took her phone out of her pocket, scrolling through her texts. “Hold on,” she said. “I swore Lian said she was doing that marathon thing tomorrow.”

           “Marathon?” echoed Damian, leaning over Iris’s shoulder, looking at her phone. There were an awful lot of heart emojis in her texts to Lian. “What marathon?”

           “The AIDS one,” she said, then, triumphantly, she turned her phone around to show him the screen. “Yeah, the Star City AIDS Walk. Her family does it every year.”

           Frowning at the phone, Damian reached out instinctually to take it – Iris pulled it away sharply, grinning at him. “AIDS Walk?” he asked, confused. “Why would they do that?”

           “Um,” began Iris, “because it’s a charity and the Queen family are like the biggest philanthropists this side of Gotham City, obviously.” She poked him in the side then added, “You’re telling me your dad doesn’t do marathons for charity?”

           “No,” answered Damian honestly. “No marathons or triathlons.”

           The light of the computer screen lit up Iris’s face harshly as she gave him a confused look. “That’s…really specific?”

           “In my family,” Damian explained, “we’re not supposed to do anything which might publicly draw attention to our…” he paused, searching for the right words, “atypical level of physical fitness.”

           “What?” asked Iris, scandalized. “The public isn’t even allowed to know you’re hot?”

           Despite himself, a smile tugged its way onto Damian’s lips. He leaned against the computer panel. “I’m afraid not,” he told her, almost ruefully. “So, if you could keep that between us…”

           She laughed at him. Something glinted in her eyes and though Damian could not quite identify what it was, he liked it. A lot.

           “Between us,” she echoed, watching him. “Sounds like a nice place.”

           There was a short, loaded silence.

           Then, before Damian could blink, she disappeared. A moment later she was back, this time sitting before the couch, laying a deck of cards down on a low coffee table before it. Without glancing up at him, she called, “You wanna play a game?”

           He went around to the other side of the coffee table, then lowered himself to the ground. “Poker?”

           “I was thinking Go Fish,” she replied, shuffling the deck.

           “Go what?”

           Iris stopped short and looked up at him. For a second she said nothing, then she narrowed her eyes and leaned forward across the table. Disbelievingly, she asked, “You don’t know what Go Fish is?”

           “No,” he answered, truthfully. “Should I?”

           A look of concern on her face, she watched him for a second. Then she asked, “How about War?”

           “About what?”

           “Rummy?”

           He shook his head. “I know Solitaire,” he offered.

           “What about Bullshit?” she asked him, with narrowed eyes. “Have you ever heard of that?”

           This made him hesitate. “I mean – the term generally? Because if so then yes.”

           “It’s a game,” she said, then she started the split the cards between them. “I’ll teach you.”

           She did teach him; it was a fun game, if only because Damian appeared to be so calm and cool all the time that Iris started calling bullshit on every set of cards he laid down, so it didn’t take long for him to win. They played again. This time Iris called every one of his hands correctly, while he was only right about half of hers. She won.

           Once the game was over, he asked her admiringly, “How did you do that? You can’t possibly have decoded my mannerisms that quickly.”

           She grinned at him. So fast she seemed not to move at all, she collected every one of the cards – including those in his hand – and stacked them in a neat pile on the table.

           “I cheated,” she said.

           They got bored of card games quickly, and after poking through some potential missions they got bored of that too. Iris asked him if he wanted to watch a movie, and he said yes even though he didn’t really want to. She made some popcorn as he scrolled through Netflix. “We should get a pizza,” she called, standing at the microwave waiting for the popcorn. “No! Some Chinese food. I can just run out and get it, they don’t need to deliver it all the way here. Actually,” she said thoughtfully, tapping her chin, “I could go run out and get any food. What do you feel like, Robin?” she asked him. “Chicken nuggets?”

           “You can call me Damian,” he called in reply.

           She stopped, looking at him.

           He glanced back at her, then he gestured around them. “There’s nobody here,” he said. “You don’t need to call me Robin. We’re not in uniform.”

           “You are,” she pointed out.

           He pointed to his face, the missing mask. “Not in full uniform, anyway.”

           There was a beat of silence. Then she asked, “No on the chicken nuggets?”

           As he took a seat on the couch, he told her, “I don’t eat meat. But you should get some if you want some.”

           “No meat?” The microwave beeped. She took it out of the microwave and dumped it into a bowl, then went over to the couch. Without hesitation, she sat right next to Damian, close enough that the side of their legs touched. “Maybe pizza then,” she said, matter-of-factly. “But maybe later.”

           She offered him the bowl of popcorn. He was extremely uncomfortable, and his stomach kind of hurt, so he declined.

           When Damian started to play the movie he’d chosen, Iris let out a whine. “Really?” she asked. “A black-and-white movie? How old is this?”

           Indignantly, Damian replied, “It’s a classic!” which he only knew because he’d found it under the Classics section on Netflix.

           “It’s boring.” Iris threw a handful of popcorn into her mouth. “I’m gonna fall asleep.”

           Something was screaming inside Damian’s head, but he tried to ignore it. He summoned up all the courage in his little fifteen-year-old body, the kind of courage that allowed him to jump off buildings and bridges and face goons with automatic weapons without blinking – and he moved his arm up, and he slid it around Iris’s shoulders.

           Without looking away from the TV screen, he murmured, “That’d be OK.”

           There was a tense second, and then Iris sort of settled against his arm. She held the bowl of popcorn in her lap and tried to lean her head against his shoulder but she was a little too tall; so she scooted down in her seat a little, and tried again. This time it worked.

           The whole movie Damian’s pulse was elevated, which he wondered if she could feel. It was a weird feeling, a sort of buzzing in his head and a simultaneous sort of quiet, a focus, something that he really really liked despite the fact that it made him feel really uncomfortable.

            She finished the popcorn, then put the bowl aside. “Damian,” she said, for the very first time, tasting the name in her mouth. It didn’t feel right, didn’t suit him the way Robin did.

           He glanced at her. She lifted her hand and with two fingers turned his face towards her so she could see him better. Her eyes roved across his face, searching through his gaze and his sharp brow and down to the gentle curve of his nose and the width of his mouth. She liked him better without the mask, she decided. She liked seeing his eyes, as dark a brown as her own.

           While she looked at him, he clenched his jaw. His brain felt like it was short-circuiting a little bit: he couldn’t think of anything to say.

           Something popped up spontaneously, something he’d been turning over and over in his mind again and again, repetitively, obsessively, since leaving home earlier that evening. It spilled from his mouth before he could think about it, before he could consider if it made any sense or if it didn’t fit the moment or if it was going to interrupt whatever was happening right now.

           It came out just as Iris leaned in, like a physical block between their faces, because if what Damian thought was happening was actually happening he wasn’t sure if he could do it without something bad happening, though he didn’t know what. The nebulousness of the thought scared him, the uncertainty principle, the potential chaotic motion of the double rod pendulum of himself.

           “Iris,” he said, arresting the moment; in surprise and a little bit of shock at hearing him use her name for the first time, she stopped. He let out a silent but shaky breath. “How far,” he asked, “can you run into the woods?”

           She stared at him.

           Unhelpfully, he clarified, “It’s – a riddle.”

           She didn’t say, “Oh,” or make any other indication of confusion. She just looked at him thoughtfully, then away from him for a moment. Then she met his gaze once more, and she smiled

           “Halfway,” she answered. He stared at her, his brow knit. “You can only run halfway in,” she explained, “then you start running out.”

           She grinned. Before them, the black-and-white movie continued to play, a rush of music rising to crescendo as the characters onscreen shared their first kiss.

[oovitus]

Getting Health Care Right: A Conversation with Patricia Howard

An eight-year-old was walking in downtown Newark, New Jersey with her fourth grade teacher, who asked what she wanted to be when she grew up. The hopeful young girl answered: a business woman who runs a large company. When asked what company she wanted to work for, Patricia pointed at two of the largest buildings downtown — Prudential Insurance and Horizon Blue Cross Blue Shield of New Jersey.

Fulfilling her fourth grade teacher’s advice — “if you set goals and work hard, you will achieve them” — a determined Patricia Howard went on to work for both companies. She was first hired by Prudential, performing data entry and customer service functions. Guiding patients through the complexity of life insurance helped her realize that customer advocacy was her passion, and she remains a customer advocate to this day.

When she joined Horizon, she began helping people navigate the even more complex world of health care. Starting as a call center supervisor, she spent more than 18 years with Horizon and held a series of leadership roles, including the responsibility for the startup of a Horizon subsidiary formed in response to the Affordable Care Act.

Howard is now Senior Vice President for Highmark’s Health Plan Operations (HPO) organization, which includes key functions that impact service for health plan members and customers: benefits set-up and administration; enrollment and billing; claims processing; member and provider customer service centers; training; quality; reporting and other operational support. In addition to these responsibilities that impact millions of health plan members, she also takes time for one-on-one advice sessions with a very special Medicare recipient — her fourth grade teacher, who is still a lifelong friend.

I sat down with Patricia to discuss her many years of dedication to getting health care right for customers, HPO’s portfolio of work, and her experiences and advice to others about climbing the corporate ladder while balancing career and home life.

Helping People Navigate Health Care

Tracey Rapali (TR): Early in your career, you saw firsthand how complicated the health care industry can be. Has that been an important motivation — wanting to help people, but also wanting to make health care simpler?

Patricia Howard, senior vice president of Highmark’s Health Plan Operations (HPO).

Patricia Howard (PH): During my first opportunity to work in the health care industry, I worked primarily with Medicare and Medicaid members. I found passion in helping them navigate through the complicated health care systems, and I decided that my career would focus on supporting and enhancing health care delivery for all members. I love the opportunity to help people find ways to support their health care needs. Additionally, as a leader of a large operation, I am working within the industry to simplify and improve the customer experience.

TR: You lead Highmark’s Health Plan Operations, or HPO — can you talk a little about what that entails?

PH: The HPO team consists of 4,300 employees servicing about 7 million members in the states of Pennsylvania, Delaware, West Virginia, North Dakota, Wyoming and Minnesota — which includes Highmark’s members and other Blue Plans’ members we support. Throughout the year, we will process millions of transactions, like claims, calls, and identification cards, handle hundreds of channel inquiries, and upload hundreds of thousands of codes when we install new clients.

We collaborate with our sales teams and partner plans to ensure that the source documents we rely on to set up our new members are timely and accurate — we want to make sure ID cards are mailed on time, and that when services are rendered and claims are submitted, everything is processed efficiently, accurately, and without issue or challenge to our members.

I also manage the operational partnership associated with Blue Plans that are customers of HM Health Solutions (HMHS). We work with HMHS to define the information technology roadmap for health plan operations. And most recently we became responsible for a portion of the United Concordia Dental operations, so we will lead calls, claims, client installation, and related training for our dental operations.

Leading the Change

TR: What are some ways that the HPO is working to get health care right for customers and simplify their experience, and how does that fit into the enterprise’s larger strategy for the future?

PH: I’m excited about Highmark Health’s vision and plans for the future. Across the enterprise, we are moving from being a transactional organization to one that is more value based.

As an example, we can look at one area of HPO, our member call center operations. Three years ago, you might have said that the top three reasons members are calling is for claim status, benefits or ID card questions. In our current environment, members are seeking guidance on where to have services performed. We service them differently — we are advocates not merely reps, helping our customers select the right providers and facilities to get the right care. We are scheduling physician appointments, and doing so much more to ensure that our customers know they have a resource for any questions, not just claims. Our employees are able to take off their administrative services hats and put on clinical support hats, and they are trained to do so — and that creates an easier, more seamless experience for our health plan members, which is what our members need most.

It’s really all about providing value to the customer. We’re doing more than ever to help them navigate the complexities of health care across the entire experience — that’s one very important way that my employees are helping to get health care right.

TR: Do you think that what HPO does, and what is happening across the Highmark Health enterprise, differentiates us from others in the health care industry?

PH: Yes, Highmark does differentiate itself in the market place. While I’ve worked in health care for 25 years, in both not-for-profit and publicly traded companies, I’ve always watched Highmark’s performance and growth. And after joining the organization in 2017, I can attest that Highmark possesses some specific attributes that really stand out. Highmark is bold, innovative and executes on its mission.

Among other things, an example of Highmark’s boldness is how we are not afraid to partner with providers in non-traditional ways. Highmark has taken the payor-and-provider service model to a level most competitors have not. Most health plans focus on the payor transaction, and the primary engagement with the provider community is through resolution of account receivable activity. Our integration with the provider community, both from a clinical and administrative perspective, is much more collaborative. It’s an aligned relationship with a common objective for the shared customer — not just “the patient,” or “the member,” but “our customer.” That is at the heart of our integrated care delivery and financing system with Allegheny Health Network (AHN) of course, but extends beyond our relationship with AHN. We are deeply partnered with many of our health plan’s in-network providers to take the complexity out of the system, thus delivering one-stop shopping and seamless service to our shared customer community.

Another way we differentiate ourselves is in our use of data. I’ve always been a firm believer that business decisions should be rooted in data and analytics. And again, having a value-based rather than transactional business model means we work hard to gather accurate, meaningful data to help us deliver value to the customer.

We leverage analytical capabilities in our call center operations for our voice response unit. Our opportunity is to prioritize adding features that our members will need — we have to understand why they are calling, understand and gauge the aptitude and temperament of our customers when they call, and find a call pathway that best suits their needs. Data drives those decisions and enables us to devise a plan that will help the highest number of members.

Succeeding at Work and at Home

TR: You were part of a Highmark Health Women’s Summit event recently that included Mellody Hobson. Could you talk a little about your experience as a woman of color who has succeeded in becoming a senior executive?

PH: My experience over the years being a woman of color in the health care industry has been quite an interesting journey and one of which I am very proud. Throughout my career, I found embracing diversity, inclusive of gender, ethnicity, race, age, sexual orientation, education, and disability, can cause you to think differently, and deal with situations differently, based on your experiences and background. As a woman of color, that allows me to tap into my experiences and background and lead accordingly.

I’ve been very fortunate to have some great mentors, including a diverse group of men, and as such I have had the opportunity to listen to diverse thinking which has helped me shape my thinking and my career path. And I never lose sight of the fact that when you have a diverse set of leaders around the table, you gain multiple perspectives and experiences that help you align with the needs of your customer base better, because they too are diverse.

TR: How do you balance work and home?

PH: In both cases, it starts with a good team. At Highmark, I’m fortunate to have a very passionate and engaged leadership team and employees. They are aligned to the mission and vision of our organization, which keeps them engaged and committed to their work. Because I have a high-performing team that supports our mission, embodies our core behaviors, and provides excellent service to our customers, I am able to remain focused on the strategic objectives of our business and perform all the duties that come with being senior vice president of Highmark’s Health Plan Operations.

At home, my family is extremely supportive of my professional and philanthropic work. While I have a demanding career and participate in several social and civic activities that are important to me, I have a great family dynamic. Each family member has their own passions, but they all step up to do their part in the household — and most importantly they understand and appreciate my work load.

I focus on being purposeful at work and at home, and to some extent I do run my home like I run my operations here. For example, in both places, it’s important to set priorities to make sure what we engage in is what gives us value.

TR: What advice do you have for young female professionals?

PH: I would offer these things for consideration:

Know your purpose — know your strengths and not just your weaknesses, and work diligently to leverage those strengths.

Learn your voice — understand you have a voice and use it.

Live with passion — working 8-10 hours a day requires you to be present and engaged in the work and at home. Make sure you care about what you do and have a desire to make a difference. Be passionate in your personal life also — take time to enjoy family, friends and yourself.

Get up — you will get knocked down in this journey of life, and it is those who get up that are successful.

Getting Health Care Right: A Conversation with Patricia Howard published first on https://storeseapharmacy.tumblr.com

[fmservers]

Nyca Partners’ Hans Morris hunts for great fintech investments amid volatility

Hans Morris is a name to know in fintech, and as finance and tech sectors prepare for tougher time next year, he has some incisive thoughts to share about the kinds of companies that will succeed (or not) in a financial downturn. The managing partner of investment firm Nyca Partners, Morris also serves as the chairman of the board of Lending Club and is a director of other start-ups including AvidXchange, Boomtown, Payoneer and SigFig. At Nyca, which is on its third fund, Morris spends much of his time meeting with entrepreneurs focused on payments, credit models, digital advice and financial infrastructure.

But unlike many successful fintech VCs, Morris doesn’t have to read about how Wall Street’s history influenced the trajectory of those sectors. He played an active role in shaping them. His experiences — heading Smith Barney’s FIG effort (at 29 years old), overseeing Citigroup’s institutional businesses, serving as president of Visa and advising companies at General Atlantic — have also provided him with an unparalleled financial services rolodex. And for those who believe that financial history rhymes, Morris’ opinions are now especially welcome. Fintech may be entering a new, post-financial crisis phase in which the low-hanging fruit has been picked and macro headwinds outweigh tailwinds. In the discussion below, Morris talks candidly about how he’s approaching investing next year and how he’s viewing fintech M&A possibilities. He was also eager to share his thoughts on ethics in financial services (a favorite topic), the prospects for challenger banks, why he’s branched out into real estate tech, the future of blockchain and some of his favorite bank CEOs.

Gregg Schoenberg: Hans, it’s always good to see you, but I’m especially glad to be sitting down with you now, given that the financial world is convulsing at the moment. Before we get into that, though, I want to kick off with something else: Do you buy into the idea of techfin vs. fintech?

Hans Morris: I don’t. My basic organizing principle, which you and I have discussed before, is around declining information costs. As these costs decline, it disrupts the traditional profit pools in financial services. It’s always been like that. What I would say is that in recent times, some tech companies have done a very good job at building a trusted relationship with consumers, and in some cases with businesses. That trusted relationship obviously provides a significant competitive advantage of information. But that advantage lessens later on. There are so many examples we could point to of companies that were ‘it.’ Then, suddenly, they say, ‘Oh no, our tech is expensive, creates a bad experience and will cost a lot to fix.’

GS: Let’s talk about the present. As you know, the Fed has been tightening, equities are hemorrhaging, the yield curve is getting spooky and talk of a recession is intensifying. To me, Lending Club, right or wrong, was one of the original poster children of the post-crisis fintech boom. But now, I think we’re in a regime change and that the next crop of successful financial innovators will look a lot different. What’s in store for an area like credit delivery?

HM: In credit delivery, I think it’s now pretty well-realized by investors, and certainly realized by capital markets investors, that credit delivery requires capital. So today, I feel that anyone who’s going to be successful in credit intermediation needs to have a very good understanding of balance sheet risk, liquidity risk, and capital requirements. I pay a lot of attention to capital requirements, and the ability to fund something in the teeth of a crisis.

GS: Let’s say we enter a recession next year and see continued volatility across the capital markets. I understand that each recession and bear market is different, but with the fresh capital you’ve closed on, where are you looking to go on offense?

HM: Among the thousands of fintech companies that have gotten some funding, there are companies that are really struggling to get their Series B or Series C done.

GS: Names that have lost their momentum?

HM: Yes. They’ve lost their momentum, and they’ve lost the perception of momentum among venture investors. But in some cases, these companies still possess some very good fundamentals, yet the valuations are a lot more attractive. If that dynamic becomes even more extreme, I think there could be some good opportunities.

GS: Isn’t it also true that the fintech names that suck up a lot of the venture money aren’t always the best underlying businesses?

So when you talk about high-valuation companies, I think it’s unrealistic for banks to be acquirers.

HM: It’s an interesting dynamic. Generally, as long as companies can continue to raise capital, they will keep going even if that isn’t necessarily a rational thing to do. But in some cases, where you see a bunch of companies pursuing a similar strategy, it would be better to pursue a merger because we don’t need tons of companies doing personal financial management, etc…

GS: Do you see the big banks with strong balance sheets, the JP Morgans of the world, getting the green light from regulators to be more aggressive in M&A?

HM: Regulators have clearly been one reason there hasn’t been more activity. The second thing is goodwill. Keep in mind that for a bank, goodwill is a 100% reduction to tangible Tier One capital. So even for JP Morgan to say, ‘We’ll take a billion dollars of our Tier One capital and invest it in a company with no income and maybe positive EBITDA, but maybe not—

GS: —That would take a ton of capital or a ton of conviction.

HM: Well, that company would have to be a very powerful growth engine or solution. So when you talk about high-valuation companies, I think it’s unrealistic for banks to be acquirers. Where banks can be acquirers, and this is what we’ve seen, is where you have a company valued at $60 million, maybe a $100 million, etc…

GS: A Clarity Money.

HM: Yes, a company where the acquisition moves a bank much further along in a development cycle. Where the the bank can say, “Instead of us taking two years to get our real product out, we can get out a state-of-the-art product right now, and it comes with a great team and DNA. That’s appealing.

GS: Appealing, but realistic?

HM: It’s hard to pull off. Often, the team leaves, everything dissipates, and the acquirer ends up writing off the whole thing.

GS: Moving forward, who do you think is poised to make M&A work?

HM: There’s a couple of examples where it’s worked. One is PayPal, which in recent times has done an excellent job of acquiring things and integrating talent into the company. I’m quite impressed in terms of how Bill Ready, who is now COO, Dan Shulman and the management team have changed the tech profile of PayPal.

GS: Well, they’re not a 200-year-old financial institution founded on a winding alley in downtown New York.

HM: Yes, but it was very old-school Silicon Valley, and they had a lot of technical debt. Of course, they had this great mafia 20 years ago, but all those people are gone. I don’t think there’s a single person in the top 100 at PayPal that was there 15 years ago.

GS: Let’s talk specific themes. You’ve already mentioned personal financial management, which I share your skepticism about. What’s your take on the prospects for challenger banks?

HM: I think we’re likely to have a war for deposits with too many different types of firms competing for deposits. Just look at the United States last year. All of the deposit growth we saw was explained by Bank of America, Wells Fargo, and JP Morgan Chase. Everyone else shrank. But if you have Monzo and Revolut come to the US and you look at Acorns, MoneyLion, Chime and fifteen other prepaid models or fully chartered bank models, they’re all going to have a pretty slick interface, and they’re all going to be out there competing for deposits.  

GS: How about the robos and free trading platforms?  As you know, a lot of the younger customers on these platforms haven’t experienced a sustained period of tumultuous equity market conditions.  

I pay a lot of attention to capital requirements, and the ability to fund something in the teeth of a crisis.

HM: I think a great majority of American households should be using a roboadvisor. However, the question is around the relationship between the customer acquisition and the revenue opportunity. In fact, a big part of our thesis with SigFig was to really help drive the pivot over to enterprise-based customers. But generally, and without knowing the details, my sense is that Betterment, Wealthfront and maybe Personal Capital have enough brand to get to the scale necessary to be self-sufficient. I think most of the others are not in that position.

GS: Turning to the mortgage and broader real estate sector, is your view that even if we have a deepening downdraft in housing, the real estate start-ups backed by you and others can do well anyway? Because they are essentially taking an industry stuck in the 1980s and ’90s and dragging it into the modern era.

HM: There’s a lot of room for tech improvement in real estate, and that includes residential real estate as well as institutional real estate. The problem with real estate, and mortgage-related models, is that the capital needs are also significant. So if you end up owning property, the bill adds up very quickly.

GS: I guess it depends on where a company buys them.

HM: True. Look, we remain bullish on them, but I share your concern that if activity stops or if you start having real decreases in property values in certain sectors, some of these companies may end up holding the bag.  

GS: When I saw the Ribbon deal, I was wondering how you and other backers looked at the opportunity at this point in the cycle.

HM: Well, for one thing, you can estimate the likelihood of someone getting a mortgage pretty efficiently. You can be right 99 percent of the time, but even if you’re only right 90 percent of the time, you’re going to be fine. That’s because the certainty that the company offers to the customer is worth it. They also have a great management team and a CEO who is really smart. They’re not naive.

GS: So given all the hype and ups and downs we’ve seen in blockchain, I’m wondering if you remain a long-term blockchain guy.

HM: Here’s the simple fact: The whole financial services industry is composed of ledgers. The reconciliation between entities of that information is a significant expense, particularly in the capital markets businesses. But I don’t buy into the view that it’s going to work better in all cases. The evidence so far is that it works well in some cases.

GS: Where can it work well?

HM: Distributed ledgers can work well when having synchronous data is an essential attribute, and when speed is not necessarily a central attribute.

GS: So, even if the implementation takes longer than the the hype machine suggested it would, financial institutions will get there?

Because money attracts crooks.

HM: They will get there. The cost of change is very, very high. The benefit of it is real. The question is, ‘How’s that cost of change compare to the ongoing benefit?’ In enterprise applications, the ones that will succeed are not ones where you say, ‘Lets rebuild everything within the core functions,’ because the cost and complexity are too great. The much better way is to start at the edge of an enterprise delivering immediate value, and then become an architecture for more things to move over to that.

GS: It’s easier said than done…

HM: If you take the capital markets area, I think it often requires an individual who has a bigger-than-life personality and the leadership skills to match it.

GS: Speaking of leadership, let’s talk about that within the context of fintech, where, as you know, we’ve seen mixed outcomes. You and I have talked a fair bit about how fintech isn’t like other tech sectors, because you’re dealing with money and livelihoods.

HM: Yes, and the activities are regulated, for a very good reason.

GS: When you look at a deal, does the character of the leader trump everything else?

HM: I’d say that the character and capabilities of a leader make a big difference. And to me, in financial services, the errors made, whether it’s 10 years ago or today, are similar. I mean, you have to tell the truth. You have to.

GS: Why is it so important to you?

HM: Because money attracts crooks.

GS: On that note, when I look at some of those who subscribe to the whole blitzscaling ethos, I see it as incompatible with our current climate and especially problematic to financial services. Blitzscaling doesn’t endorse breaking the law, of course, but this whole idea of consciously letting fires burn is a recipe for disaster in today’s financial services sector, right?

HM: Yes, I think so. I’d add that we have a rule in our firm: Don’t invest in any business model where you’re tricking the customer into a profitable relationship. But unfortunately, I feel that there are many business models that do just that.

GS: That’s a bold rule given that terms of services agreements remain dark dens of iniquity.

HM: Well, it’s more than just that. Look at Robinhood. I think it’s a remarkable company made up of unbelievable entrepreneurs. But I do feel that if you say, ‘Payment for order flow is the business model,’ or ‘Margin lending is the business model,’ you’ve got to spell that out. I mean, ‘payment for order flow?’ Most people would be like, ‘What does that mean?’

GS: You might as well be speaking in Ancient Greek.

A VC once said to me that we have too much knowledge about some things. I think there’s some truth to that.

HM: Exactly. I feel, in financial services, the best companies, the most successful long-run stories, will do the right thing for their customers, always. That also means not making a high-profile release of a new product, like a high-interest checking and savings account yielding way above anyone else, before you’ve actually checked with the regulators.

GS: On that latter reference, how accountable is Robinhood’s board for the company’s recent blunder?

HM: I honestly don’t know in what way the board was involved in this, but I think it’s a good example of where a board should put the brakes on an idea until the risks are clear. Sometimes management teams, and investors, don’t want to hear that, but it’s an essential role for financial services companies.

GS: In your career, you have seen your fair share of financial icons rise and fall. Have you ever passed on a deal that wound up being a huge success because something didn’t smell right?

HM: Yes, we have passed on things that turned out to be really good investments, but that’s part of our equation.

GS: In 1997, Howard Marks—

HM: —He’s fantastic, isn’t he?

GS: He’s phenomenal. In one of his famous memos, he asked ‘Are you an investor? Or are you a speculator?’ Given that there are quite a few VCs who have come to fintech in recent years, I’m wondering if you see a lot of speculators.

HM: Most of the folks that I interact with are investors, not speculators. The crypto stuff is pure speculation by almost everybody.

GS: Yes. I wasn’t implying that we discuss crypto.

HM: To the core of your question, I’ll tell you this: There’s this very, very successful VC investor I had a debate with over a deal. My point was that the company in question would need to raise a lot of capital to scale. But that long-term consideration wasn’t especially relevant to him, because he felt the company would have options down the road. We passed on the deal, but now, I look back and regret that decision.

GS: Are you suggesting that you could benefit from having a little more of a speculative instinct?

HM: A VC once said to me that we have too much knowledge about some things. I think there’s some truth to that.

GS: I’m sure that your institutional knowledge has been an important asset on many other occasions. I’ll move on to our last topic, Hans, because I know you have a fund to manage. You know all of the big bank CEOs, right?

HM: Yes.

GS: There’s Jamie Dimon, who defies easy description. At Goldman, you’ve got a banker as CEO. At Morgan Stanley, you’ve got an ex-management consultant. At Citibank, you’ve got—

HM: —You’ve got Corbat. Michael is just an excellent manager who gets things fixed. It’s interesting: Jamie is a fantastic manager of people too, but Jamie brings in his team. Corbat is very good at taking on an existing team and just making them better. Brian [Moynihan] is also really good. I mean he was a lawyer, and when he got the job, I had no idea what he was like. But I’ve noticed that the people who have worked for him are really loyal.

GS: I think the CEOs of the big banks tend to be a reflection of the times in which they operate, right? We went through the period of the trader CEO, which is now gone. As you look down the road, what are the heads of the big banks going to look like?

HM: I’ll answer that question by turning you to Microsoft. What explains the turnaround there? Is it because Satya [Nadella] is such an amazing engineer? No; he’s a great people person. He’s a fantastic manager who put in place a high-quality decision process, which is key to managing a complex organization.

GS: Implicit in my question is whether or not these organizations are going to be as big and complex as they are now. Specifically, I’m referring to the supermarket model that you were involved in helping to construct. Does that remain in place?

HM: Keep in mind that liquidity is a very, very important aspect of a financial marketplace, and having access to core liquidity that doesn’t change frequently is very important. The professional money obviously switches very quickly. But things like core deposits, pension flows and corporate cash tend to have the longest time-frames to build access to. But when a bank has access to deposits that don’t move much, it enables it to fund the liquid financial assets. That’s so important for when you hit a liquidity crisis.  

GS: So the big bank model is here to stay?

HM: Yes, I think it’s going to be around for a long time.

GS: Well on that note, Hans, I wish you luck in navigating whatever the future brings. Thanks for sitting down with me and sharing your wisdom.

HM: It’s always a pleasure speaking to you, Gregg. Thank you as well.

This interview has been edited for content, length and clarity.

Via Gregg Schoenberg https://techcrunch.com

[oovitus]

Getting Health Care Right: A Conversation with Patricia Howard

An eight-year-old was walking in downtown Newark, New Jersey with her fourth grade teacher, who asked what she wanted to be when she grew up. The hopeful young girl answered: a business woman who runs a large company. When asked what company she wanted to work for, Patricia pointed at two of the largest buildings downtown — Prudential Insurance and Horizon Blue Cross Blue Shield of New Jersey.

Fulfilling her fourth grade teacher’s advice — “if you set goals and work hard, you will achieve them” — a determined Patricia Howard went on to work for both companies. She was first hired by Prudential, performing data entry and customer service functions. Guiding patients through the complexity of life insurance helped her realize that customer advocacy was her passion, and she remains a customer advocate to this day.

When she joined Horizon, she began helping people navigate the even more complex world of health care. Starting as a call center supervisor, she spent more than 18 years with Horizon and held a series of leadership roles, including the responsibility for the startup of a Horizon subsidiary formed in response to the Affordable Care Act.

Howard is now Senior Vice President for Highmark’s Health Plan Operations (HPO) organization, which includes key functions that impact service for health plan members and customers: benefits set-up and administration; enrollment and billing; claims processing; member and provider customer service centers; training; quality; reporting and other operational support. In addition to these responsibilities that impact millions of health plan members, she also takes time for one-on-one advice sessions with a very special Medicare recipient — her fourth grade teacher, who is still a lifelong friend.

I sat down with Patricia to discuss her many years of dedication to getting health care right for customers, HPO’s portfolio of work, and her experiences and advice to others about climbing the corporate ladder while balancing career and home life.

Helping People Navigate Health Care

Tracey Rapali (TR): Early in your career, you saw firsthand how complicated the health care industry can be. Has that been an important motivation — wanting to help people, but also wanting to make health care simpler?

Patricia Howard, senior vice president of Highmark’s Health Plan Operations (HPO).

Patricia Howard (PH): During my first opportunity to work in the health care industry, I worked primarily with Medicare and Medicaid members. I found passion in helping them navigate through the complicated health care systems, and I decided that my career would focus on supporting and enhancing health care delivery for all members. I love the opportunity to help people find ways to support their health care needs. Additionally, as a leader of a large operation, I am working within the industry to simplify and improve the customer experience.

TR: You lead Highmark’s Health Plan Operations, or HPO — can you talk a little about what that entails?

PH: The HPO team consists of 4,300 employees servicing about 7 million members in the states of Pennsylvania, Delaware, West Virginia, North Dakota, Wyoming and Minnesota ��� which includes Highmark’s members and other Blue Plans’ members we support. Throughout the year, we will process millions of transactions, like claims, calls, and identification cards, handle hundreds of channel inquiries, and upload hundreds of thousands of codes when we install new clients.

We collaborate with our sales teams and partner plans to ensure that the source documents we rely on to set up our new members are timely and accurate — we want to make sure ID cards are mailed on time, and that when services are rendered and claims are submitted, everything is processed efficiently, accurately, and without issue or challenge to our members.

I also manage the operational partnership associated with Blue Plans that are customers of HM Health Solutions (HMHS). We work with HMHS to define the information technology roadmap for health plan operations. And most recently we became responsible for a portion of the United Concordia Dental operations, so we will lead calls, claims, client installation, and related training for our dental operations.

Leading the Change

TR: What are some ways that the HPO is working to get health care right for customers and simplify their experience, and how does that fit into the enterprise’s larger strategy for the future?

PH: I’m excited about Highmark Health’s vision and plans for the future. Across the enterprise, we are moving from being a transactional organization to one that is more value based.

As an example, we can look at one area of HPO, our member call center operations. Three years ago, you might have said that the top three reasons members are calling is for claim status, benefits or ID card questions. In our current environment, members are seeking guidance on where to have services performed. We service them differently — we are advocates not merely reps, helping our customers select the right providers and facilities to get the right care. We are scheduling physician appointments, and doing so much more to ensure that our customers know they have a resource for any questions, not just claims. Our employees are able to take off their administrative services hats and put on clinical support hats, and they are trained to do so — and that creates an easier, more seamless experience for our health plan members, which is what our members need most.

It’s really all about providing value to the customer. We’re doing more than ever to help them navigate the complexities of health care across the entire experience — that’s one very important way that my employees are helping to get health care right.

TR: Do you think that what HPO does, and what is happening across the Highmark Health enterprise, differentiates us from others in the health care industry?

PH: Yes, Highmark does differentiate itself in the market place. While I’ve worked in health care for 25 years, in both not-for-profit and publicly traded companies, I’ve always watched Highmark’s performance and growth. And after joining the organization in 2017, I can attest that Highmark possesses some specific attributes that really stand out. Highmark is bold, innovative and executes on its mission.

Among other things, an example of Highmark’s boldness is how we are not afraid to partner with providers in non-traditional ways. Highmark has taken the payor-and-provider service model to a level most competitors have not. Most health plans focus on the payor transaction, and the primary engagement with the provider community is through resolution of account receivable activity. Our integration with the provider community, both from a clinical and administrative perspective, is much more collaborative. It’s an aligned relationship with a common objective for the shared customer — not just “the patient,” or “the member,” but “our customer.” That is at the heart of our integrated care delivery and financing system with Allegheny Health Network (AHN) of course, but extends beyond our relationship with AHN. We are deeply partnered with many of our health plan’s in-network providers to take the complexity out of the system, thus delivering one-stop shopping and seamless service to our shared customer community.

Another way we differentiate ourselves is in our use of data. I’ve always been a firm believer that business decisions should be rooted in data and analytics. And again, having a value-based rather than transactional business model means we work hard to gather accurate, meaningful data to help us deliver value to the customer.

We leverage analytical capabilities in our call center operations for our voice response unit. Our opportunity is to prioritize adding features that our members will need — we have to understand why they are calling, understand and gauge the aptitude and temperament of our customers when they call, and find a call pathway that best suits their needs. Data drives those decisions and enables us to devise a plan that will help the highest number of members.

Succeeding at Work and at Home

TR: You were part of a Highmark Health Women’s Summit event recently that included Mellody Hobson. Could you talk a little about your experience as a woman of color who has succeeded in becoming a senior executive?

PH: My experience over the years being a woman of color in the health care industry has been quite an interesting journey and one of which I am very proud. Throughout my career, I found embracing diversity, inclusive of gender, ethnicity, race, age, sexual orientation, education, and disability, can cause you to think differently, and deal with situations differently, based on your experiences and background. As a woman of color, that allows me to tap into my experiences and background and lead accordingly.

I’ve been very fortunate to have some great mentors, including a diverse group of men, and as such I have had the opportunity to listen to diverse thinking which has helped me shape my thinking and my career path. And I never lose sight of the fact that when you have a diverse set of leaders around the table, you gain multiple perspectives and experiences that help you align with the needs of your customer base better, because they too are diverse.

TR: How do you balance work and home?

PH: In both cases, it starts with a good team. At Highmark, I’m fortunate to have a very passionate and engaged leadership team and employees. They are aligned to the mission and vision of our organization, which keeps them engaged and committed to their work. Because I have a high-performing team that supports our mission, embodies our core behaviors, and provides excellent service to our customers, I am able to remain focused on the strategic objectives of our business and perform all the duties that come with being senior vice president of Highmark’s Health Plan Operations.

At home, my family is extremely supportive of my professional and philanthropic work. While I have a demanding career and participate in several social and civic activities that are important to me, I have a great family dynamic. Each family member has their own passions, but they all step up to do their part in the household — and most importantly they understand and appreciate my work load.

I focus on being purposeful at work and at home, and to some extent I do run my home like I run my operations here. For example, in both places, it’s important to set priorities to make sure what we engage in is what gives us value.

TR: What advice do you have for young female professionals?

PH: I would offer these things for consideration:

Know your purpose — know your strengths and not just your weaknesses, and work diligently to leverage those strengths.

Learn your voice — understand you have a voice and use it.

Live with passion — working 8-10 hours a day requires you to be present and engaged in the work and at home. Make sure you care about what you do and have a desire to make a difference. Be passionate in your personal life also — take time to enjoy family, friends and yourself.

Get up — you will get knocked down in this journey of life, and it is those who get up that are successful.

Getting Health Care Right: A Conversation with Patricia Howard published first on