#out of everything it could’ve been it was a zubat.

[goldensunset]

from one hot girl to another, the ultimate hot girl has traversed time and space

[lovepmd]

Explorers!Hero (or multi!hero) who is usually extremely nice, but Team Skull are still up to their old tricks. Even after they saved the world with Partner and came back from non-existence, those three are still up to no good. Sooooooo—the hero is about this || close to snapping when they happen to remember Zubat being left behind in Apple Woods.

Like a Sharpedo they smell blood in that water.

It takes first writing out individual letters to Team Skull in different styles, they have picked up a skill like this from teaching non-guild teammates how to write. The hero pretends to be a huge fan of the trio that really wanted to send their favorite Pokémon some help. Hero pretends to spell like a really young kid—a weedle they sign off as. The “fan” basically gushes and gushes, until they mention how they wonder the noxious gas combo would work in a dungeon. Fan begs Team Skull to try their hand at *insert dungeon* which Hero knows has a lot of tough non-smelling Pokémon.

“Fan” included reviver (reviser) seeds, a joy (doom) seed, and heal (sleep) seeds in their letter to help! …They even put like 388 Poké in as the “request” reward thing. Which isn’t a lot in retrospect, but at least sweetens the deal for Team Skull. While this kid heaped on praise for the other two, they kinda had some questions about Zubats role on the team. He got knocked out by the team’s famous combo, right? Zubat goes to meet the “fan” while the other two try the dungeon. Obviously, he’s a little creeped out when he finds Hero in the “fan’s” place.

Hero has a wide smile, inviting him to sit/lay down to chat for a bit! After all—they ordered Zubat his favorite drink. (The former human had to ask Spinda who normally doesn’t give this information.) He says he feels a bit uncomfortable even if it’s just the wimpy partner’s friend. Hero says that’s fine. They don’t want to make him feel trapped, such a shame that can’t talk shop though. They mean… doesn’t Zubat hate being shunted to the side like this? The hero pretends to not know about the letters, pretends to not be the fan.

They gradually get Zubat to sit down and just casually point out the Pokémon’s weaknesses repeatedly doing innocently backhanded comments. “Oh sure, you can’t see but I am sure that high-pitched echo location makes you aware of everything. Not like anyone will ignore it”, “Really I got lucky to be turned into the Pokémon I am, I could have gotten stuck in a physically weaker body… sort of your situation of being a glass cannon for reference”, and “it must suck that your team’s signature left you knocked out too. If me and partner had been a wild/criminal, winces that could’ve gotten ugly.”

They keep playing into his insecurities, then off-hand says, “You know it’s really easy to be just plain old cruel. Say something mean, it’ll stick with a Mon. Steal from them? They remember you if you let them see what you are. Leave a less experienced team forced to go through no-dinner after working a long day? We were bitter. Anyone can do that, but making it personal? Oh. Oh that sticks so much better!”

“I could have hypothetically slipped a stun, warp, and blast seed into your drink to make you a random bomb—” Zubat spits it out “—but I didn’t. Really, that would have the chance to hurt someone else and isn’t the most personal thing. Hypothetically, I could have simply called in a few favors and had you three… fainted. Permanently. Or do it myself. Truly, there are quite a few ways I could justify it. I know the freaking Dragon Gods of Space and Time. No one would be able to find what remained of you or them, if I was truly that unhinged.”

What kind of psycho discusses this in front of who they want to—

“Again if I genuinely wanted to. You three are beyond annoying and petty bullies, but death? Oh no. That would be too permanent for my taste. Also, not a Pokémon remember unless you didn’t hear—I’m human no matter what my form is and the instincts I have so I still think like one. We tend to have these things called ‘intrusive thoughts’. It’s sort of thoughts about what we could do in spite of the consequences. Like,” Hero pulls Zubat close to whisper, “being stuck in a small room with a crying baby Whismur who won’t stop crying. Sure, it’s a baby it doesn’t know better. But, after a certain point you would just want to smash it against the wall to get it to stop for Arceus sake…!”

“So with all due respect, either keep the schemes civil without endangering anyone or pick a new term of employment. Or else I will let the intrusive thoughts win. Understand?” Their reputation be damned, they are in a world of super-powered animals who fight daily. The intrusive thoughts have only gotten stronger.

jesus f-ing christ

multi!hero making it their MISSION to make team skull as uncomfortable as POSSIBLE without directing doing any harm to them, one member at a time

[kettouryuujin]

Hi-Ho, to the Dungeons We Go!

[Inspired by @monsoon-of-art‘s Pokerus AU]

The Dewott sighed, running a paw over her face. “Alright, well… as much as I’m not ready to lead a mission yet, it seems like I’ve got no real choice…”

“Really? I’d have never thought.” Rei scoffed, crossing his arms as his cheeks sparked (STILL a weird feeling). He’d been…volunteered…to go with the newcomer into this “Mystery Dungeon”, seeing as Captain Cyllene was busy, Professor Laventon was recovering, and the other Survey Corps members were…Well. 

What other members? After the rifts started changing people, much of the Survey Corps switched to a different field, the general idea being that it wasn’t a good idea to do much exploring in unfamiliar bodies. The Fieldlands being struck by lightning and turning into a weird space-within-a-space only drove the rest of them off.

All in all, it was just the three of them left… Maybe they could count Akari as a member later. This is the closest they’ve done to actually doing Survey Corps work in the past month, so it made sense.

The now-a-Pikachu still wished that Akari hadn’t just grabbed him and left instead of taking his “partner”...who was too busy scavenging for food or something, no doubt. Hey, the electric rodent wasn’t there, but… she could’ve stopped to wait and let him explain!

Well, it’d be pointless to turn back now…Almighty Sinnoh this is a WEIRD feeling! The world swam around the poor ‘chu briefly, his body feeling like it was distorting with the warping setting before everything snapped back into place, the somewhat familiar terrain of the Fieldlands before him.

“Ah, right, it’s your first time going into one of these… yeah, entering a Mystery Dungeon is…weird. You get used to it eventually, but…” The Dewott shrugged as Rei stared at her. You got used to that sensation?

…Sinnoh above, what had he gotten himself into?

—--

Akari just sighed, rolling her shoulders as she drew her scallops. “Right, well… we don’t know what Ability you have, or moves you know… thought you’d have done some testing, but alright.” Rei just tilted his head before glowering a bit. Akari backpedaled at the stare. “S-sorry, I forgot that you’re still adjusting…erm. Anyways… we were wanting to stick together anyways, so that won’t be an issue… we don’t know what floor Lian or Mr. Kleavor might be on, hopefully it won’t be too far in. For fighting… I guess do what you can, I’ll clean up the rest?”

“...sure? I…ok?”

A sigh. He’s greener than she ever was… why couldn’t one of the evolved, and probably more skilled, Pokémon come with her instead? Adjusting or no, they were probably more capable being evolved, and at the least it’d be more firepower. Well, if wishes were fishes she’d have a feast. “Alright… OH! Let me know if you think you’re about to Faint. I’ve got Berries on me, and I was lucky enough to be carrying a couple spare Escape Orbs on me when I fell. That means we’ve got a quick out… and if we’re lucky we might find some more in here. I’d rather not use them without finding more, but I don’t want you to lose out on any Experience from this.”

Another confused look on the Electric-type’s muzzle led Akari to sigh. Again. “Right, well, let’s just go…”

—---

They haden’t taken but 5 steps before a wild Zubat zipped from the trees, crying bloody murder. Rei jumped back, hat falling off in shock, but before he could get it back on Akari had taken her shells and sliced at the ‘bat’s wings, sending it to the ground with a *THUD!*

“W-what…”

“C’mon, you can’t be THAT new to battling, right? I mean, I guess you wouldn’t know that the Dungeons seem to heal the wilds in them, but… oh let’s just keep going!” The group’s “leader” ran forwards, shells a blur as Rei just stared. This girl… was human, right?

Because if not, he’d been honest-to-Sinnoh considering letting an actual Pokémon join the Survey Corps. And that was…not a comfortable thought. “Rei? C’mon, I found the stairs!” Stairs? Sure, stairs. In the Fieldlands. He’d take it over debating Akari’s humanity. Up and running over on 2 legs, Rei ignored the Look he was getting from the otter-like ‘mon. No, he was NOT going to consider that. Why the hell would a Pokémon be wearing a hat and bandana anyways? Especially one with that weird egg-shaped badge? Let’s just stay upright for now please and thank you.

——-

After the second flight of stairs (Seriously, how in Sinnoh did STAIRS get here) he found himself stopped by a blue-furred arm. “Shhhh…”

Moving a bit to peek, the ‘chu stared at the sight before him as Akari continued. “I’ve never seen a Sligoo like that (Wait, seriously??), but if it’s like any other kind then it relies mostly on sound…” The rest of Akari’s message was tuned out as his eyes found one particular thing in the room - a slightly goopy wide-brimmed hat.

“That…that means... LIAN!” Rei rushed forwards, not even noticing he’d gone to all fours (or Akari’s startled yelp and “Wait!”) as he dashed closer to the poor young Warden. He was even looking their way, mouth open! Oh, he was waiting on them but it’d been so long he’d given up hope…the blindness probably didn’t hel-

Wait, what was that in his mouth? It looked like… “GAH!!!”

The ‘chu cried out as he was shoved back by the Water Gun, tumbling head-over-heels until he hit the wall. His companion just sighed, readying her shells. “Didn’t you hear me? Most ‘mon who stay in a Mystery Dungeon go mad. I don’t know why you rushed in like that, but now he knows we’re here… and we’re going to have to deal with him to keep going.” And with that, she rushed in, dodging attacks left and right as Rei looked on in horror. She didn’t realize…he had to say something!

“STOP! That’s Lian!”

[unpopularly-opinionated]

Killed my entire night going through the absolutely inane process of transferring all of my Pokémon from my old DS games to Pokémon Sword. I never wanna hear that Nintendo knows how to program anything good ever again.

I had four games to pull Pokémon from, Black 2 (B2), X, Omega Ruby (OR), and Ultra Moon (UM). To start, I downloaded Pokémon Home (PH) on my Switch and paid for a year of their silly little scam service. Then I downloaded Pokémon Bank (PB) onto my 3DS and paid for a year of THAT silly little scam service (thankfully I apparently had money on-credit leftover on my 3DS that I didn’t know about so really I didn’t spend anything on it).

I started with UM, booted up PB and pulled mostly everything from it (Totem Pokémon can’t cross over so F’s in the chat for my Araquanid and Togedemaru that will never see the light of day again, gone and probably forgotten). Didn’t realize until later that this didn’t include my Party Pokémon, of course, so I’ll have to come back to UM later.

Moving on, somewhat conveniently and purely by coincidence, I noticed a button on PB that mentioned another app called Pokémon Transporter (PT) which is apparently required to transfer Pokémon from the older DS titles like my B2. This is why I don’t ever wanna hear anyone say that Nintendo knows what they’re doing because holy fuck is PT basically a fucked up used bandaid hot fix to a problem they clearly didn’t know would exist until after they launched PB, and in the however many years it’s been since PB launched, no one decided to fucking merge PB and PT. There’s no excuse for why PT should exist, I understand B2 is older code than the 3DS titles but PB certainly could’ve included the same code PT had that made it work, and this isn’t even mentioning the actual fucking mess of a program that is PT. Unlike PB which shows you all of your PC boxes, PT only shows you Box fucking 1.

This means that you have to go into PT, transfer all the Pokémon currently in the first Pokémon box in your PC on B2, and then exit out of PT, launch B2, then transfer the next batch of Pokémon from your other boxes into Box 1, save and quit, launch PT again and start the process over. BUT WAIT IT GETS BETTER. You can’t simply transfer the next batch of Pokémon from B2 to PT because the first batch of Pokémon you tried to transfer is still there. So you have to close PT again, and open PB back up so that you can empty out your “Transfer Box” into PB. BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE. PB literally won’t function unless you have an appropriate game cartridge in the 3DS, meaning I have to remove B2 from my 3DS and put in one of the 3DS Pokémon games like X, OR, or UM into the game, purely so I can open PB and empty the Pokémon from my Transfer Box into the PB. Never mind that I’m not even interacting with the game in the 3DS at this point, but that’s just the way PB is programmed, so it only works with the right game in it.

So if you’ve been following along, this means that in order to transfer all of my Pokémon from B2 to the PB, I have to load up B2, move all the Pokémon I want to transfer into Box 1, close B2, open PT, initiate a transfer, close PT, open B2, move the next batch of Pokémon over into Box 1, close B2, remove B2 from my 3DS, put in a 3DS Pokémon game (in my case UM), boot up PB, empty my Transfer Box of Pokémon into the PB, close PB, remove UM from my 3DS, put B2 back into the 3DS, open PT, initiate a transfer, rinse and repeat as many times as you have boxes full of Pokémon in B2. Un-fucking-believable. Literally no one tell me Nintendo knows how to make things ever.

The 3DS games were at this point simpler, though I realized at some point that I still had to boot them all up in order to move my party Pokemon into my PC, and leave one behind since your party can’t be empty so F’s in the chat to Spearow who is forever stranded in X, Zubat stranded in B2, Cosplay Pikachu stranded in OR, and Araquanid and Togedemaru stranded in UM. And unfortunately, because Pokemon Sword is the way that it is, not every Pokemon can cross over so now I have a few stragglers in the PH. Thankfully the transfer from the PB to the PH was fine. It goes by fairly quick, though it was a bit annoying that it doesn’t give an ETA since, being that it was my first time, I had no idea if this would take minutes, hours, days, etc. Now, theoretically speaking, I never need to touch those older games again. Though, now that the guilt of losing my Pokemon is gone, I might be tempted to replay OR and/or X at some point. Also I never actually beat UM but I remember not liking the game very much anyways so w/e.

Now that I have money I’m a Pokemon shill again, as expected. I’m most definitely getting Pearl when it comes out since I’m also a huge Sinnoh shill. Can’t wait.

[jumpchain-drop]

Chapter 1.1: 0.0 Years

“….aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-”

CRASH!

I landed in a face-down belly flop. It hurt, but somehow I don’t think I was injured. Still took a minute to get up.

“Again…?” I moaned.

I was in the middle of the desert. The sun was high up and blazing down with full force. Thankfully I have a hat on now. Also a backpack. Felt pretty heavy. Thankfully I was still in some version of my original outfit, with long sleeves and pants that covered enough skin to keep it from getting burnt. There’s some mountains in the distance, but otherwise the only thing breaking up the forever-long barren landscape is some diner or gas station place, not too terribly far away.

Also I felt like a lot shorter. Later I would learn I was regressed back to twelve years old.

Wanted to check my bag out, but also wanted to be fine with my vitamin D levels for awhile, so I started walking for the diner station.

The hot sand gave way to hot asphalt, which probably would’ve been hotter were it not so faded. A few cars and a couple motorcycles were in the parking lot around the diner. Thankfully, there was a place I can sit in the building’s shadow. No one else seemed to be around at the moment; presumably the inside has air conditioning.

I took the backpack off my back and take a look through its contents. A flip-top phone-like device; the screen says “Pokégear.” I think to check my own pockets; they’re empty except my chapstick and a thick wad of strange paper bills with a “P” symbol on them. So, I guess I still have a phone. There’s another small electronic – a Pokédex, looks like the Unova model. Three green-and-purple spray bottles and five red-and-white balls; Potions and Poké Balls. A laminated Trainer Card with my name and picture on it, registered by the Unovan Pokémon League as a trainer starting a couple months ago.

So apparently I was supposed to have an adventure in the world of Pokémon. Funny; Mad Max wasn’t far from my first guess. It occurs to me I’m in Orre. Don’t remember this exact place, though. I never got far in that game.

There’s some other things here too. A key attached to a Master Ball keychain. A small laptop computer (though the diner’s wi-fi is secured). And was that…? Why the heck do I have a collapsible billy club?

I was still looking at the thing in my hand, thinking that, when I heard some sort of distant screech. I look up.

A bit into the desert, out of nowhere, there was a large flock of blue creatures with purple wings, circling in the air.

The hell’s a bunch of Zubat doing in the middle of the desert, I remember thinking.

That’s when I saw what they were circling around: a plant-like lump, mostly green but with plenty of brown shades.

Gheeze, they were like vultures! What were they even hunting…? It occurred to me to pull out the Pokédex and turn it on, pointing it towards the thing the Zubat were circling around. Even at this distance, it managed to detect what species the poor creature was.

A Turtwig…?! Out here in the middle of the desert…?!

Something just switched on. I was never much of a hero before, more of a coward, but I didn’t want to see what they were going to do to that Turtwig.

In moments, my backpack was closed on my back, everything back inside except the billy club, fully unfolded.

And I ran in yelling like a lunatic.

The next minute I burst through the door of the diner and slammed it shut behind me, producing several thunks as the Zubat swarm barreled into it before they could change course. “Quick!” I shouted to whoever was at the counter. “This Turtwig needs water!”

A few hours passed as I nursed for the Turtwig back to health. Thankfully the diner only charged for the Potions I bought from them with just a bit of the money I have, because she drank a lot of water. Oh yeah, the Turtwig turned out to be female. According to the ‘Dex, Turtwig shells are made of hard soil, growing harder if watered, and feeling slightly moist if they’re healthy. Well, her shell was getting harder. I also had something to eat, pigs-in-a-blanket (though they called it “Mankey in a Wrap”), to keep my strength up while doing it.

During that time, people were going in and out without any Zubat leaking through, so I assumed they buzzed off somewhere.

Eventually, she regained consciousness. She looked up at me with fond eyes. Who knows what she must have gone through, being a Grass-type in Orre’s harsh climate. She nuzzled into my hand when I tried to pet her. I bought her a couple Oran Berries to fill up on.

“That your Turtwig?” the guy at the counter asked.

“No, I found her outside,” I replied. “Think she’s wild?”

“Pokémon like that ain’t wild ‘round here. Probably abandoned.”

“Even someplace as harsh as this…?”

“Never underestimate humankind’s ability to hurt, kid.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that.

For a while she got off the table and sat in my lap as I did a better check of my things. I decided against bringing the laptop out in some seedy-looking place as this. There was, however, something in my bag I didn’t notice before. Tucked behind the laptop was a notebook with a massive word “JUMP” on the cover, with a spiral binding and a mechanical pencil tucked into it. I opened the first page to see there was already writing on it.

Layer 1:

You have 10 years in this world.

Time is paused wherever you left.

Your motorcycle is nearby.

You keep your perks and gear afterward.

You may only keep 6 Pokémon afterward, one of which must be the first Pokémon you catch. The rest stay behind.

Entertain me.

Was this written by the owner of that voice in the cylinder? Asshole.

“Hey, kid. Catch.”

I looked up just in time for a Poké Ball to hit my forehead. “Ouch!”

“Hey, sorry, I said catch,” the guy at the counter said.

“My hands were busy,” I said with a wince, putting everything away. I picked the ball up. “A Poké Ball?”

“For your Turtwig. On the house.”

“For… But she’s not...”

“I can see she’s taken a shine to you,” he said. “She might as well be.”

I looked down at her to see her looking up at me. After a second, I hold the ball up to her. She nosed the button on the front and, in a flash of light, she vanished into it.

Beep. Beep. Beep. CLICK.

So… I guess my first Pokemon’s a Turtwig. Could’ve been worse. Could’ve been a Magikarp.

I decide it’s time for me to go. After making sure I’m fully stocked on food and water and everything’s packed safely away, I start to walk out.

“Hey, kid.”

I give the guy at the counter one last look.

“Be careful out there, OK? There’s these punks running around, Team Snagem. They can make Poké Balls that can steal Pokémon from trainers. You keep your new friend safe, OK?”

Team Snagem is an issue? I’m not fully solid on the timeline. I mean, I watched this loud guy do a Let’s Play of both games, but why the hell am I remembering that now?

I gave him a nod and said, “I will.” Then I go outside. Still no Zubat in sight.

The closest city here seems a really long way to walk there. Then I remembered the notebook mentioned I had a motorcycle. I look around the parking lot and notice this unassuming bike in the shade. It had a decal sticker of a Master Ball on it.

I pulled out the key that was in my bag, got on, and put it in the ignition. The engine turned.

I put on the helmet in the little storage compartment on the back and, somehow knowing how to drive a motorcycle, I set off into the desert.

“Entertain me…?” Fuck that guy, he took away ten years of my life. Even if time on Earth was frozen, I would be mentally ten years older when I got back. Plus I left Earth by dropping through a hole. What is this guy’s deal anyway? Whatever. Fuck this, I thought, I need to find someplace to survive around here.

Me and Terra.

That’s my Turtwig’s nickname now. Just in case that wasn’t clear.

[cynthiaandsamus]

Game Blondes Crystal Clear Nuzlocke Part 2: A Shining Chance!

“Hey I’m blonde!”

“…I’m also blonde.”

“AND WE’RE THE GAME BLONDES!!”

(Game Blondes Logo by @game-overture)

“Welcome back! So last time on Game Blondes we started our freeroam Crystal Clear Nuzlocke, our rat died in our first battle but we got a lot of other pokemon to replace it, fought a dude with a Shiny Ponyta and made our way halfway across Johto to fuck around. Now we’re gonna go check out Goldenrod since the dude with the Ponyta mentioned it and see if we can start nailing down some badges.”

“Okay so just a note about this game, seems like the trainer battles scale to your badges but the wild pokemon stay around the level they would be… considering the Hoothoot and Psyduck you caught last episode were in the early teens and you still have zero badges.” Cynthia pondered.

“So technically I could just run into a field way down the line and catch something super powerful and ram through the whole game?”

“Well theoretically, as long as you could manage to catch it and manage to live with yourself for cheesing the game that represents my life’s work and career.”

“…fine, fine. Spoilsport…” Samus huffed. “Anyway, I’m making my way down from Ecruteak to Goldenrod, getting a few levels on Danny that Gastly from this guy with four Voltorbs that can’t even touch him. Gonna see if we can find that restaurant the DOOM guy mentioned and if not I’ll see if I can get a gym badge or something. Got a few levels on everyone from all the trainers on this route and got the TM for Rollout, that’s a fun move.”

“You won’t think so later…” Cynthia snickered.

“Well we’re in Goldenrod… shit this is Whitney’s town!?”

“Yup, welcome to Rolloutville, population you.”

“Should we save this gym for last for the memes? I mean that’d be an epic final battle.”

“I’m game, anything to put off going against that crazy cow lady…” Samus grumbled as she searched the town. “Well the train’s here so I can get to Saffron and Kanto, it’d be funny if I got Sabrina for my first badge, bet it’d piss her off to get beaten by a level 10 Gastly.” She chuckled.

“I wouldn’t tease Sabrina too much, she can beat you up without touching you…”

“I’ll hold off on it for now if only because I already have a lot to explore that I’m skipping over and Saffron is ridiculously big. At least I got a bike to travel it a bit faster. Oh and an Eevee sitting on a table, lemme take that…”

“Hang on, lemme see that Eevee real quick…” Cynthia took the controls with a grin.

-10 Minutes Later-

“HOLY SHIT IT’S SHINY! How’d you do that!?” Samus gasped.

“Weren’t you paying attention to the tutorial? Shockslayer said Gift pokemon have a higher shiny rate and the game saves before you pick them up for soft resetting, so if you get a good rhymn down you can reset a lot real quick and get a shiny.”

“That is so cool! I love you Cynthia! I got a White Eevee!”

“This counts as part of your birthday present, I’m not helping you any further.”

“Fine fine.” Samus grinned, absolutely giddy with the white fluffball. “I’m gonna name you… Norman. Cause you’re Normal-type and a smart little white fluffball and we’ve been watching The Promised Neverland lately.”

“Hopefully that’s not an omen for this Nuzlocke…”

“Ah shit is this accidentally in bad taste?” Samus winced. “Well time to go Underground and explore some more of the shops and punch some of these trainers in the throat.”

“…no wonder the Pokemon League denied your application to become a trainer.”

“Well I got a coin case and it looks like this guy is blocking the path to the other hallway so I’ll leave him alone for now, I’ve been warned that some of these guys have huge teams that can wipe me out…”

“Yeah, I read there’s a level 100 Magikarp somewhere in Kanto’s early game, so be on the lookout for steamrollers…”

“Well since I got the Coin Case might as well check out the game corner…”

“Holy crap you can just buy a Master Ball if you have enough coins! And a Lucky Egg too! I definitely don’t have enough time for that but that’s really cool!”

“And you can get some pretty cool pokemon too… too bad you already have Eevee so you can’t get any more pokemon for this town…”

“That’s fine, I’m very content with my Shiny Eevee, lemme get some coins though…”

(Mun Note: Due to Standards and Practices we are not allowed to show Samus gambling in case you’re in a country that hates it)

-One Gambling Montage Later-

 “Well I doubled my coins and officially hate gambling, so  let’s go check out the Department store, I’m sure there’s some cool stuff there, only got that, the Radio Tower and the gym left so almost time to be on our way.”

“Yay! Shopping spree!”

“Oh sweet, here’s the Tradeback NPC, he can evolve my guys, I’ll have to keep that in mind when I get an Upgrade for Porygon.”

“Well there it is, you just need more money…”

“Well I’ll save up and come back, I’ll let Polly stay as she is for now, can’t have my baby growing up too fast. We don’t even have a single badge yet.”

“Damn that’s right, we’ve just been derping around for an episode and a half…”

“Well we found a bunch of TMs at the shop here, keep those in mind, damn I really am broke…  Just gonna stock up on balls, check the radio tower and get out of here before Whitney crushes me for dawdling in her town…”

“Oh wow, an Event Move Tutor, you can learn all those weird moves they give out at events, give it a try and get your pokemon some broken moves~” Cynthia giggled.

“Well Polly learned Barrier, Norman learned Growth and Hooters learned Night Shade, so that’s all cool.” Samus grinned. “Got me some custom pokemon~ Making my way up the tower got a point for the Password radio game thing,  got a Sunny Day TM and a Pink Bow, that’s perfect for Polly, now she can feel even more like a girl and power up her Normal-type moves.”

“Your Trans Porygon is really cute.”

“Give the Amulet Coin Polly was holding to Norman now and at the top of the tower is this CHAOS guy who says he’s the new director of the station and wants to battle… here goes nothing I guess.”

“He… just has a level four Delibird… that’s not very intimidating for a custom trainer for this mod.”

“You have literally no badges and have been picking up pokemon left and right, feel like you’re a bit OP for this early in the game…” Cynthia sighed.

“Well he has a Cleffa too and I got some good money from it, guess that was worth it.  And I got a Nugget, so guess that was just a money pitstop. Well that’s it for Goldenrod, couldn’t find the restaurant but time to go to the next route and catch a new pokemon…”

-A bunch of pokemon Samus has already caught later-

“Oh wow a Ditto! And right next to the Daycare too! Guess I know what this guy was there for…” Cynthia chuckled.

“FUCK it took like all my balls but I got it… why did I want this thing again?”

“Breeding?”

“Breeding!? This is a children’s game I’m not gonna make my monsters have sex, what kind of sick fucks are you trainers?”

“Well you have it now so that’s good.”

“I’ll name it “Brothel” …for obvious reasons. I really need to get some badges so these trainers stop having level like six pokemon.”

“Then pick a gym already.”

“Fine, next town we go to I’ll fight the gym there. Just getting through this forest and catching this Oddish (nicknamed Oddball).  Got the Headbutt TM so I can punch trees like this is Minecraft.”

“Ahhh a Dark Souls reference last time and Minecraft now, soon we’ll be a regular mainstream Let’s Play streamer.”

“Awww man, Bulbasaur pops up here! We could’ve caught the mun if they showed up first!”

(Sad Bulbamun noises)

“This girl says Kurt knows about the Forest Guardian, so better head into town to see what that’s about… oh neat, I don’t have to wait to get Apricorn balls, this guy in Kurt’s house sells them for money.”

“And Kurt passed you off onto Professor Oak about the Forest Guardian thing… sounds like a fetch quest to me…” Cynthia sighed.

“Might as well squash some bugs for my first gym, I mean Bugs seem like a fitting start to me.”

“I mean Bug-types aren’t the most powerful but Bugsy does the best with what he can…”

“Alright Hooters, you’re a bird, you’re in charge of the bug squishing duty.”

“Well he’s got a Scyther at least, that’s cool, but he’s still no match for Hooters!”

“Wow that was quick, you and your boob-themed owl are unstoppable.”

“Well he did poison Hooters and get her down a bit, so if I’m not careful she could faint on the way back to the gym, but I did get my first badge so hopefully stuff gets more challenging from here~ One badge down, seven to go.”

“Fifteen.”

“…what?”

“Crystal Clear has both Kanto and Johto gyms in it, there are sixteen badges, you have fifteen left.”

“…well shit, I better get cracking…”

“Looks like you got a call from the Pokemon League too, they say if you’re in Johto to visit Sprout Tower to get something cool, a “FLASHy” reward… subtle and to go pay your respects in Ilex Forest, that’s probably to do with the sidequest we stumbled on earlier.”

“Well I’m starting to move up in the world, they gotta start recognizing me! Well might as well go down to this Slowpoke Well and catch something. Ooooh there’s breakable rocks here, I’ll teach Dudette Rock Smash and break one to see if I find something cool~

“OH FUCKLE, A SHUCKLE!”

“CRAP! I killed it, it gave me an Encore so I couldn’t get out of the loop… ugh, oh well, guess there’s no use crying over spilled Shuckle. Guess that’s all I can do in the Well without Strength for now… Might as well work my way back up to Violet Town and go to Sprout Tower like the League said, even if I don’t want to go in order, getting that reward would probably be good and get me some more pokemon along the way.”

“Well you killed that Zubat too, so no new pokemon on this route either.”

“WHY DOES EVERYTHING I TOUCH DIE!?”

“At least you caught that Whooper (named Whoop) in Union Cave.”

“Well Whoop de doo. A few battles later and I’m back in Violet City. I didn’t wanna do these gyms in order but I guess doing Flying-types second would be fine since I’m here anyway and have the pokemon for it…I need to get more badges to increase trainer levels so I’m not too OP right away.”

“Dudette, you’re in charge, kill these birds with one stone.”

“Well you’re the same level so I guess you’re not too overleveled, you just have a serious type advantage.” Cynthia sighed.

“Well took down his Pidgey but damn, wasn’t expecting Pidgeotto to have Mud Slap, Dudette’s in the red and her accuracy has gone to shit, better switch out. Do your best Poly! Alright! Two Psybeams and Pidgeotto is down~”

“Another badge and another call from the Pokemon League.”

“This time a warning about not watering wiggling trees, so you can probably get the watering can from that girl we saw in Goldenrod, plus a message about getting Cut from the Charcoal guy in Azalea Town and a note that Professor Elm is very generous so we should probably go back to him too.”

“Okay so we’re doing pretty good for this little neck of Johto, lemme make a list real quick of our goals.

1.       Go up Sprout Tower and get the reward

2.       Go back to Professor Elm and get a reward

3.       Get Cut from the Charcoal dude

4.       Squirt Trees

5.       Talk to Professor Oak about Ilex Forest shit

6.       ???

7.       Profit

“Sounds about right to me, looks like we have a lot to do… NEXT TIME ON GAME BLONDES!”

Samus’s Journey So Far:

(Color-coding the path by episode for now, may or may not continue to do this depending on if it’s a pain in the ass when it starts getting bigger)

Samus’s Current Team:

[aroseandapen]

A Diamond in the Rough (And the Spinarak)

Rating: Teen/Gen Paring: None Word Count: 2500 Summary: A couple of Team Rocket grunts guard what might be their most valuable pokemon of all, as they hold down the Radio Tower.

Notes: For @nonotlikeaustralia of course, because she thought I wouldn’t write an absolutely serious ficlet for a Pokemon OC I made when I was 9.

“Arceus above, I hate bugs.” The black-clad man peered in through the narrow spaces of the bars, at the small spider pokemon scurrying around inside. It noticed his face so close and let out a hiss, clicking its mandibles at him as it backed away. “Remind me why we can’t just dump this thing outside? I’m pretty sure no trainer in their right mind is coming to look for it.”

“You’d be surprised.” His partner didn’t bother looking at him, his gaze shifting between each of the entrances leading out to a separate stairwell. Although most foolish trainers or police looking to free the radio tower would come from below, he didn’t want to rule out the possibility of an attack from the roof. That was why his pay was higher than his bug hating partner’s, despite the fact that they were both grunts.

“Crazy.” Shaking his head, the first grunt banged his hand against the side of the cage, causing the green pokemon to scuttle around the inside with frightened warning shrieks. “Hey, you, you’re lucky we got orders from the boss, or else I’d use you as food for my zubat—ack!”

He’d barely gotten the words out when the pokemon apparently had enough of the torment. It rushed him, the venomous point on the top of its head boring straight for him. Fortunately for him, his reflexes were just fast enough for him to tear his hand away and fall back away from the cage, flat on his rear end. His partner snickered at the display, a huge sneer plain on his face. The senior grunt didn’t bother hiding his mirth at his partner’s misfortune.

It was the idiot’s own fault if he got himself poisoned anyway.

“Don’t laugh!” Idiot didn’t seem to agree that he’d deserved the attack, glaring up at him from the floor. “Spinarak are poisonous! It could’ve killed me!”

“Venomous, actually.” He couldn’t resist the urge to be pedantic, especially not when it gained such a dumbfounded expression from his partner. “You’d probably be fine if you ate it.”

“What? Who said anything about eating it?”

“You did, apparently. Poisonous implies that you ingested it, venomous that you were stung or something by it. Not that I’d expect you to understand.”

The idiot still didn’t seem to understand, letting out a huff as he pulled himself back up onto his feet. “Whatever, who cares? Venomous this, poisonous that, it doesn’t matter if it’s still trying to kill me!”

At that point, it was probably time for the senior grunt to take the high road. There was no sense in continuing the conversation, and he’d gotten all the satisfaction that he imagined he could get. Thus, with a smirk, he turned back to watching the shadowy corridors, content for now to let the topic slide and continue their guarding of the strange Spinarak, a pokemon that might as well have been just a normal bug type if not for the strange markings on his back—rather, of the lack of such markings. Any moron could see that it was a special pokemon.

Except this moron apparently. His idiot partner pulled a tiny capsule from his pocket, allowing the pokeball to fill out into its full size in his hand.

“You know what? I’m going to knock this thing out and then it won’t be any problem for us at all! Go, Zu—!”

He spun around, grabbing his partner’s pokeball arm in a flash. Before the moron could throw and release his pokemon, he forced the arm back down to his side.

“You idiot!” he hissed, piercing the other’s eyes with his own glare. “Don’t you even realize that this thing is valuable? And if you knock it out or kill it, we’re going to have to revive it and waste all the time where it could be sitting in that cage making its silk for us?”

Nothing lit up behind the idiot’s dull eyes—no comprehension or even a tiny inkling of understanding what a terrible idea he’d been about to act on. “No? Why do we care about something that comes out of a bug pokemon’s butt? Any spinarak in the forest can make silk, we don’t need some trainer’s pokemon. We can catch a million of them no problem!”

“Because. It’s not a trainer’s pokemon.” When there was still no understanding, he had to resist the overwhelming urge to groan. Did he have to spell out everything for his partner? “It’s an experiment. Don’t you see its back?”

They both turned their heads to look at the spinarak. It was climbing the barred wall opposite of them, each of its six spindly legs sticking to the metal with whatever adhesive it secreted in its body. Which gave them a clear view of its back, a solid green that wasn’t like any other Spinarak in existence. Not to their knowledge, anyway. And even if his idiot of a partner didn’t understand the significance of that, a great senior grunt such as him knew a thing or two about what the scientists of Team Rocket worked on in their spare time.

“Yeah…” Finally his partner seemed to be getting the idea that there was something with the Spinarak that didn’t meet the eye, even if he didn’t fully understand the reason for it. “What about it?”

“This Spinarak doesn’t spin silk. Not like just any old Spinarak. This would has been genetically altered with the type of elements and minerals inside its body to produce diamond silk.”

“…What?” He didn’t seem particularly impressed by the explanation. Not that the senior grunt could blame him. Most dullards didn’t understand the complicated science-y stuff that went into the experiments.

Neither did he incidentally. All that talk about elements and molecules and atomic structure was lost on him. He’d left school at the average age of ten, and joined team rocket just four years later, so he didn’t know what any of that was all about. What he did understand, however, was the fact that the Spinarak was incredibly valuable to all of them—and they’d never want for funds again with a diamond-spinning pokemon.

Never again would be be relegated to petty theft just to get enough money to eat or to garnish his wages or to help out the cause. Now he could move on to bigger and better things.

Like regular theft.

“The stuff that comes from that ‘some pokemon’ butt,” he finished with to his wide-eyed partner, “is important to the entire team as a whole.”

For a good minute, said partner didn’t speak. He opened his mouth, closed it again, and then continued to gape like some star-stricken goldeen looking up at a freshly evolved magikarp it’d been picking on until that moment. Satisfied that his point sunk in, the senior partner crossed his arms and went back to his watch.

There’d be no stupid fights and knockouts with precious cargo today.

Instead of going back to watching with him, the stupid grunt turned back to the cage, staring at the Spinarak as it clicked threateningly at him. It was a bluff—the pokemon could do nothing when it was trapped in a box as it was, and they were both safely on the outside of it. He ignored his awed partner, grateful at least for the silence it provided him. Really, only one of them needed to keep watch anyway, and he’d use this as leverage when he wanted to get some good sleep and blackmail his partner into taking over for the entire night.

The silence didn’t last, much to his chagrin. “So, like. Why is it here? And not in some underground vault locked away? What if some kid comes in and trips over it and frees it, and then he’s the one with the diamond spinning Spinarak and not us?”

It was a good point, actually, but he wasn’t about to admit that. He scoffed, arms tightening over his chest as he refused to even make eye contact with his partner. “I don’t know, who cares. Orders are to guard it and the Radio Tower from anyone who comes in. The superiors probably have a reason for it, but they don’t have to tell a couple of grunts about it.”

“Right. Sure.” Although he didn’t sound convinced, it was dropped, and they fell back into silence.

Now it was the senior’s partner to be uncomfortable with the silence. He didn’t know why. It wasn’t like his partner was pursuing the point, or even like he acted smug about making a point that he couldn’t counter. But he couldn’t resist the overpowering urge to speak again anyway. Just to make sure he had the last word, as petty as he knew it was.

“Anyway, no one is going to storm the Radio Tower. There’s a ton of us in here! It’ll take a whole army to take it back from us, and the moment we see a whole army coming we’ll take the Spinarak and we’ll be out of here!”

Alright. Now he was done.

“You’re right, of course.” Even while his partner agreed with him, it somehow still felt as if he was being mocked. It grated on his nerves even more than the clicking and hissing and scuttling from the bug pokemon they guarded. “I just wonder if—wait, what was that?”

Both of them had heard it, the distant sound of a door opening and then falling shut, the noise echoing up at them through the corridor on the right. It was probably just another shift coming up from the lower floors to relieve them for the day, but still the pair of Rocket Grunts tensed. Surely it was too early for that to happen? Yet neither of them dared to even look down at their watches, two sets of eyes trained on the entryway as they heard the faint sound of footsteps. Louder and louder, approaching them.

A head of blue hair appeared in the room.

“Hey kid!” The newer partner was the one two speak up, shooting the girl who’d walked in a nasty look. “This isn’t the place for you. You better get out of here if you don’t want some trouble.”

What an idiot. Perhaps on the very first few floors they could excuse some child wandering in and making their way up. Several flights up, however, with no opposition? Impossible. The senior partner could tell that it was no accident that the girl had made it up so far.

And it showed in her eyes, when she turned a determined look onto the grunt who had spoken. She said nothing, but a pokeball had found its way into her grip and her answer was clear.

“Tch.” If his stupid partner was going to go the forgiving, merciful chances route, he sure was not. He pulled out his pokemon—his pride and joy, his growlithe that had been gifted to him after years of loyalty. And that honor hadn’t been bestowed upon him because he was hesitant to fight a kid. “You think you can take on Team Rocket? You’ve got another thing coming, you dumb little kid. You should’ve just let the adults take care of this one—go, Growlithe!”

Without a word, the girl sent out a pokemon of her own, some blue crocodile kind of species that he’d never seen before with sharp protruding canines. It was intimidating, for sure, and his own pokemon shuddered and seemed hesitant to go into battle with it, but looks meant nothing. The weird pokemon could be the scariest looking thing in the world, and turn out to be the weakest.

He believed in his Growlithe.

And so their battle began.

……

And then ended, too soon.

The thing had been a water type, as it turned out. Not that he had any pokemon to switch out to, but it had wiped his growlithe out with just a few water guns, and he couldn’t stop the growl that ripped out of his throat as he returned his pokemon to its ball. Crap. This wasn’t good. His partner had no chance of winning, not with his lowly Zubat.

They had to get the Spinarak out of there, quick.

“Hold the kid off! I’m taking the pokemon up to the roof!” he snapped at his partner already lifting the cage into his arms.

“What? What, no!” The idiot decided that it was a good time to argue with him. He wanted to throttle the man, but he needed to keep his cool. Later. They needed each other right now.

“I don’t have a pokemon to fight with! You do! Just hang on and hold her back so I can get it out of here!” he said, backing up away.

The girl watched him, her eyes darting from his face to the Spinarak in the cage and back again. She seemed to be calculating, probably trying to figure out a way to cut him off and ignore his partner. Unfortunately for her, and lucky for him, the Zubat was released from the ball. Their battle was initiated, and his partner wouldn’t allow her to turn her attention away from him.

Perfect. At last they were properly working together. He turned from the battle that ensued before him, making a quick escape to the stairs that went up. All he had to do was get to the roof, and a helicopter would pick him up and then…

A sharp sting in his chest derailed all his thoughts.

With a shaky horror, he looked down at the cage to see the Spinarak, where the cage was cradled against his chest, had taken the opportunity to strike. The horn on its head had pierced him. It stung him, and he could feel the venom he’d just lectured his partner about flood his system.

Or maybe that was just adrenaline. It hardly mattered, when he could already feel the strength fleeing his body and his vision blurred.

He crumpled to the ground, and the cage clattered out of his arms with the Spinarak shrieking inside of it. Good. The awful little creature; he hoped that it died. Just like he was sure to die now that he’d been stung.

Someone approached. A little spray medicine was dropped into his lap. His brain vaguely told him that it was an Antidote. He looked up to see the blue haired girl standing over him, giving him a worried look for just a moment before she turned to the fallen cage. The grunt watched as she picked it up, murmuring some kind of reassurances to it in a soothing tone, and as he applied the antidote to his wound he watched the girl walk right out of the floor from whence she’d came. With their most valuable pokemon in her arms.

Curses. Curse that girl all to hell, and his partner that she’d wiped out so quickly as well.

[shayne-or-something-blog]

Episodes 4-6

Episode 4 and we're still getting flashbacks to the first episode.

Ash had a chik-fil-a cow suit just ready for that pun.

Pikachu decides to take a nap even though just a second ago he was walking with Ash just fine.

All bug pokemon worship Misty.

Have no fear Ash is here, blatent Underdog copyright infringement.

Pidgey's Gust attack in episode one sends Ash flying, Pidgeotto's Gust attack barely moves Weedle at all. Ash’s Pidgeotto is a bitch by comparison.

Samurai bug catcher guy was trained by the blade and tips fedora mightily.

How did he even hear about Ash to begin with?

Why does he keep pulling a rubber sword on people as his way of greeting them? What kind of manners?

Pidgeotto just whipped Weedle without getting hit once, but is somehow too tired to fight.

Pinsir somehow has compound-eyes, an ability not introduced until Gen 3.

Ever sending a Metapod into battle, ever.

Kudos for showing Metapod just getting cut in half though, that's rad.

He legit said Metapod using Harden was clever...that's all it can do.

Harden battle begins, goes on for way too long.

Cardboard tank will protect Jesse and James from Beedrill, yeah okay.

Why did neither of them even try something different? Like, String Shot or something?

Beedrill swarm is coming, better pull out my Pokedex.

You have to aim to return your Pokemon? Who thought that was a good idea?

Pikachu shocks Ash and Misty but only Ash takes damage. Misty is a ground-type confirmed.

I wish the "Who's that Pokemon" weren't always just the main Pokemon of that episode. Make it challenging.

So Beedrill took Metapod to the Kakuna tree where Ash and Misty end up going, but then don't leave any Beedrill there to guard said Metapod.

Kakuna tree mass evolves the moment our protagonists show up, for a reason.

Samurai guy has a log cabin just chilling within running distance of Kakuna tree.

Everyone rips on Ash so hard, like he could've just stopped the entire swarm of Beedrill from kidnapping that Metapod.

Second person to reference all 3 trainers of the other trainers from Pallet Town but still only lists Gary by name.

Kakuna tree has replenished it's supply of Kakuna through the night.

Team Rocket voice actors changed.

Ash thinks that if he runs past the Beedrill they'll just forget he was the one that fucked Weedle up and fight Jesse and James.

It works.

A bunch of Weedle eat the paper tank. The paper. tank.

Metapod doesn't wanna go in the Pokeball because Ash didn't die for him. What a guy.

Ash falls over nothing just to throw Metapod and have a reflective moment on something that he didn't even do. Character development made easy.

Metapod fucks that Beedrill's world up for life and then evolves into Butterfree, leaving me with ruined expectations on how long it takes Pokemon to evolve for the rest of the series.

Apparently it takes a week for Metapod to evolve into Butterfree, what have Ash and Misty been doing for the last week?

How does Ash just know all these moves his Pokemon have immediately upon them evolving?

Sleep Powder doesn't even have that great of accuracy but hits everything in the forest basically.

Apparently his Metapod evolving makes him a true master in the eyes of rubber sword guy even though it's literally just a matter of time. You could leave Metapod in a puddle for a week and it'll still evolve.

Team Rocket somehow made the paper tank into Kakuna suits and hung themselves from the Kakuna tree? These are the antagonists.

Five episodes in and this theme song still jams so hard.

This is the episode that begins Jesse and James' hole digging fetish.

Team Rocket step in their own pitfall trap...I mean...come on.

Flint sells rocks...he sells rocks.

Looks can be decieving, beard prejudice.

What kind of ten year old uses the word "revitalize"

Another Nurse Joy, thus begins the vast network of identical twins that all took the same profession.

Flint's laugh is so fake, who is trying to fool?

Ash stares at Misty's ass, my guy.

Snap on lights, classy move, Brock. Brock’s Gym is complete with rock terrain that easily snaps together.

The weird jump Brock did seemed unnecessary, why even have those stairs?

Let's be honest, the first time we saw Onix we thought it was the strongest thing ever.

Onix uses Bind before Brock gave it the order.

Ash's aim with his returns is ass, but he blames it on Onix.

Flint takes Ash to spy on Brock and his ten younger siblings, that's not weird.

Brock has ten brothers and sisters, giggity.

Deadbeat dad and dead mom, slow down there Pokemon.

Let's hook your Pikachu up to a power plant to power it up. Pokemon logic.

River is dry making the power plant not operational, but let's not say that until after we're here.

Ash just let's the dirty hobo hook shit up to his Pikachu without even saying a word.

Misty finally says something intelligent but Ash says he's going to go all by himself (While getting help from Flint)

Ash says, "If I can take it you can take it" while walking on a stairmaster and his Pikachu is having a power plant put into it's cheeks.

Gust has literally changed every time it's been used in this show so far.

Flying is weak against rock, so my Geodude is gonna grab at your Pidgeottos’ feet until it faints.

Pikachu's random discharge sets all the lights on fire, but we just ignore that.

Ash wants to battle to the death as Pikachu fainted but he wants to continue.

Oh, the fire actually mattered after all, leading to some Deus Ex Aqua letting Pikachu fuck Onix up.

Ash has 10 people on him and thinks it's all in his head. He's actually crazy.

Brock's character changed so drastically in this one episode. He went from calling Pikachu a nerd to being a softie in 10 minutes.

Brock wants to be the best at making Pokemon get it in, and enlists Ash to do that for him.

Cold spaghetti for breakfast and cereal for dinner, these kids really do need a father.

Agrees that he has to pay Misty back, then tries to run away from her.

Why were Team Rocket even in this episode?

Zubat. Just. Zubat.

Wow I hate this scientist immediately.

The lights hanging from the cave are fucking up all the Pokemon, so instead of just pulling them down or turning them off, Seymour the Scientist just watches.

These poems are almost as bad as the ring from the telephone.

Pokemon are aliens, Moon Stone spaceship.

Clefairy is holding a Moon Stone but isn't evolving?

Seymour stops Ash from catching a Pokemon under the pretense "I'm sure you understand" but there's literal no context to what Ash is supposed to understand.

Ash understands anyway.

"Trouble?" Team Rocket announces as Ash triggered their trap card.

Random "You can't join us" thrown at Ash even though he never said anything about joining them.

Brock randomly catches a Zubat offscreen even though he's only a Rock-type trainer. Your ploy to get me to like that shitstorm of a Pokemon won't work.

Misty just throws a Pokeball in the water. Sure Staryu may like it, but that was a fast moving river, that thing is gone.

Ash has never seen Pokemon food.

Seymour and Ash both decide to eat Pokemon food.

Pikachu is the Naruto of Pokemon. Makes friends with everything by just saying his name over and over.

This one particular Clefairy was holding the almighty fragment of Moon Stone that made the thing glow and cause the rest of the Clefairy to show up.

Clefairy rave.

Ash doesn't understand Clefairy, but understands Pikachu because it's "his Pokemon".

Ash can only understand 90% of Pikachu's words, the rest must be done in a game of shitty charades.

Clefairy worship and pray to the Moon Stone, causing Seymour to lose his shit over space travel.

Seymour the Scientist just turned into Velma, but if she wasn't hot or interesting but instead the devil.

Onix versus Ekans results in a "size doesn't matter" joke from Jesse.

Jesse and James are able to move this MASSIVE meteor with no one noticing or making a noise.

I'm really confused on how much of each other's language Pokemon and people know.

So many Pokemon know Counter in the show.

Mass Metronome is just one of those "Put your hands in the air" moments.

Misty continues to have inner ear problems as moving her head back and forth slowly makes her dizzy.

Sing-Song Seymour is still a cunt.

The Clefairy Metronome explodes the Moon Stone into smaller Moon Stones, only now making some of them evolve into Clefable? I can’t follow what’s happening.

Secondary Clefairy/Clefable rave entices Seymour to live with them.

Postcards from space comment.

Why does Gary make fun of Ash here? Didn't they only meet once and for like, less than a minute? What makes them rivals, they barely know each other exist.

PokeRap is still bomb.