#overthinking hurts my head how am i supposed to sleep tonight

[theflyingfeeling]

aaaarrghghgh 😭

[dzpenumbra]

4/25/23

Wow, actually writing this at 2AM again. Take a wild guess why... If you guessed "sleep deprivation", you get a goddamn cookie.

4 hours last night. And the nap didn't work this time, so I just stayed up. Now I've got the sleep deprivation sweats, ever get those? Where it almost feels like a fever, and you get kinda numb and tingly. Fun.

I got to bed 2 hours earlier than normal, but couldn't fall asleep. It's actually been a while since I've had that problem. That used to be my primary life problem, it would take me like... at least an hour to fall asleep every night. I'd just lay there, and my mind would race and I'd toss and turn until I eventually fell asleep. I had a night like that last night, and then again when I tried for my "second-sleep" and failed.

I had more dreams including my mom, I'm sure that's part of it. I don't know. I think it's the Mother's Day ads that are doing it, because it's right around the corner... <eyeroll> I didn't feel emotionally upset when I woke up, it didn't feel like a nightmare. It didn't feel like my neighbors woke me up, I just... woke up. And I was up. And I did not want to go back to sleep for some reason. And I hopped on Instagram and... had the same fucking problem. 3-4 posts to cleanse the palate, then an ad to ruffle my feathers, rinse/repeat. After a bit of scrolling, I started to notice that nothing I was seeing was something I'm actually following. Like... okay, if you're just going to spam my feed with paid advertisements and "suggested" shit, why the fuck do I bother following people? Just fucking say "hey, this is the end of your feed, would you like us to suggest something more?"

Motherfuckers act like curating content for you without you asking is like... a favor. Let me tell you how utterly atrocious this system is, and why it should be opt in, not opt out. I am subbed to the PTSD subreddit. And I got suggested "r/OopsThatsDeadly", which is all visual content of life-threatening situations. Explain to me how that happened. Explain to me how or why that should ever happen. That shit upset me, man. Like... no one asked you to add these features, half the sites won't even let you turn them off, and I really can't think of how these features could work worse.

I tried to do music today. I didn't really work. I'm overthinking shit, or it's just not flowing right, I don't know. So I gave that a whirl for a good chunk of the day, but just tapped out after a while and switched over to art. I decided to hand-draw an abstract ink piece today. I have an empty blank sketchbook that I've been meaning to put shit in, and today was the day, I decided. I went with a sorta bubble-based organic pattern and over the course of the evening filled up the entire page. I can tell I haven't been drawing as much as I used to, my hand's all sore and shit. It just has some fill work to do and then it's done. It was a nice change of pace after this last concept piece, which did not have a lot of drawing, despite the animation work.

And that was basically the day, honestly. Super low-key. I decided to pull the trigger on reserving the shared car last night, so it's reserved for Wednesday afternoon. People from the building are supposed to come and inspect my floor's apartments on Wednesday, no clue what time of day, likely morning, knowing normal humans. So... my plan is to... get to sleep early tonight, then hopefully even earlier tomorrow... Get woken up by a knock on my door. Awkwardly walk them around my apartment half-awake. Then pound an energy drink, and head up to the car around 1PM, drive over to the National Park for the first time and film some trail walking footage for the desire path project. That's pretty much the last missing piece, short of an outro thing... which I'm still back and forth about. I mean... it can't hurt to plug my Patreon, it's just... it just sucks to remember that I have one... and to see how much metaphoric dust has accumulated there.

I started writing about my career for a minute there and then got super depressed, so... I'm just gonna clip that and save it for another time. Let's just say... "it's complicated". I remember the days I used to be really confident and proud to share my work on social media and shit... actually... do I? Actually... now that I think about it... I have never really been one to like... flaunt anything on social media. Like.. if people are interested in my shit - like genuinely interested - I'll tell them anything they ever wanted to know. I just... I don't commoditize my work. Which is so fucking foreign in this country, in this culture. To be a worker... who runs their own business... who produces a product, and the product is technically for sale, but is not explicitly advertised or marketed. Because it's an art piece, not a fucking postcard. And there's an insane amount of pressure to convert all of your art into marketable commodities nowadays. Stickers, prints, merch, you name it. And if that's what you want to do, fucking go for it! I even have a print shop (that I was pressured by my parents into setting up...) for my pieces that were kinda more catered to that... style, I guess. That intention. But the past few years, I found that mentality so fucking restrictive, and I found myself throwing away dozens of amazing ideas because I didn't think they were going to... work. I didn't think they fit my "business model". Good lord, talk about corporatizing art... Ugh.

My past year and a half was breaking from that mold. I have some things I can commoditize if I choose... but my Holy Grail quest has been searching for a good, supportive community that can get me linked up with people who genuinely want to fund my projects. And, on paper, I feel like Patreon could do that. And then I can just get that nasty "how can I hock mass-produced copies" mentality off of my fucking back. Because my work has always been about sentimentality, hand-craft, personal touch. Every piece different, every piece unique. Even before the tattooing, that was there.

I literally cut myself off from talking about my career to... talk about my career. ... Meh.

I just want to say... because it's floating around my mind over and over... it sucks to work very hard on projects day in and day out, from beginning to completion, and have it mean nothing to others. My mom would always give me shit, "you need to create more value for others." Not even kidding, direct quote, can't even count how many times I've heard that. Talk about seeds for a self-esteem complex, "you need to create more value". Bitch, my shit is priceless. Try putting a price on a series of stones I hand-polished over the course of the last few weeks of my cat's life, and the first few weeks of mourning her death. A grief piece. Try to put a fucking price on that shit. Try to sell those.

It frustrates me so much that the arts get so little support nowadays. Like people are perfectly content to watch another regurgitated remake of something they remember from 20 years ago... Gah... I'm generalizing. Not everyone is like that. I'm just gonna nip that one.

So yeah, clearly talking about that stuff is tough for me still, I'm sure it shows in my writing how scattered and chaotic my thinking gets around it. HOWEVER... when I get inspiration? Like my hoodie backpiece - I had a really cool idea to do commissioned pieces where I do like... "clothing tattoos"... in permanent ink or fabric paint, so they last as long as I can possibly make them last. When my inspiration calls me, it will literally pull me out of sleep. And I will work my hands to the bone, regardless of whether I have a client, regardless of bodily needs. And I don't mind the process at all. It's like... it's encoded into who I am as a person. I would get shit in high school and college because I would be drawing in the margins and on my pants and arms and shit constantly.

When I developed this system of just... striking while the iron's hot, capturing inspiration as it comes and seeing where it leads... I started to just... overflow with creativity. I couldn't stop, I had to force myself to stop working to eat and sleep. Kinda like me writing here. Once I get in the zone, in the Flow, and it's all linked up and just... going... I typically have to like... consciously stop myself or else I will go for literal hours. And... I'm gonna be honest... I don't see a ton of people writing more than 144 characters nowadays who aren't being paid to do it. And the ones who are? A lot of them are trying to find AI to do the lion's share for them.

I feel like it's coded into who I am. And making it work for me? That has led to me making some of the coolest shit I've ever made in my life. Shit I never would've dreamed of making. So yeah, I'm really lucky I have the opportunity to pursue this, because if I wasn't? I'd be daydreaming at some job I didn't care about all day every day, and that kinda just feels like... waiting to live, or something. Like waiting for a life to start, but like... I'm sorry... I don't think anyone is gonna come walkin into a shop I'm working at and just hand me the job I'm describing here. I'm not even sure how to describe it to people myself!

I just really need to power through these anxieties and get linked up with an artist's community, like a collective or something. But the one near me? I... I'm gonna be honest... I'm not sure I'll fit there... Like... one of my upcoming pieces is going to be a carved goat skull dyed with homemade inks made from incense ash and coffee grounds. And they've got like... stylized drawings of cats and shit. No offense, it's good work, it's just... you know... I feel like I'm kinda doing a different thing. Like, if I go to the person who only draws cats... and I say "hey, I had this idea the other day, I want to go in the woods and transplant moss into carefully measured geometric designs outlined with stones. But I want it to be a pop-up thing. Something that isn't clearly announced, something that just... organically appears in nature. How do I get someone to help me with my bills while I work on that project entirely by myself?" I'm gonna level... I think they're gonna look at me like I just sprouted 40 heads.

So... until I can get that figured out? I'm just living off the cash I got from selling my car, and whatever charity I get from my family... who don't talk to me. Scary way to live. But it's just where things are for right now.

So yeah... I'm super tired. But... you know what? I'll share what I worked on today. It's not done, so... yeah.

I haven't finished filling in the connecting bits, and I was going to completely fill the left side, by the spine. So yeah, a little break from the mold. It's been a while since I've done patterns like this, especially consistent circles, usually I do more organic shapes. I was just watching this video on soil compositions the other day that made me think of these types of designs, and how you can look at them two different ways, like a stretched membrane with holes in it, or like bubbles or particles suspended in a medium or something. Or maybe both? Idk, it's very meditative, very relaxing work.

As for future projects, there's the hoodie that I have to finish, my horoscope chart on the back of it and mandalas all down the right sleeve... there's the goat skull... I have a wood carving that's been sitting in my mind lately that I'd like to attempt at some point this summer, we'll see if I get around to it... I have my helmet and my grip tape on my new skateboard to customize... I still don't know what to do with either of them right now... I was thinking maybe a really detailed phoenix on the griptape? I don't know, I'm giving it time to come to me. And... I wanted to do a painting of the Egyptian god Thoth on my cargo shorts. Maybe some ornamentation to go with it. Not sure.

Ya think I've got enough work backlogged?! I love this desire path project, it's a really cool concept and the whole thing is turning out well, I'm just... I'm kinda ready to be done with it. XD Just to start working on something new, you know? And this, this ink drawing today? That was very refreshing, it felt great.

That's a really good vibe, so I'm cool ending there. :)

[lunaekalenda]

"𝔰𝔩𝔢𝔢𝔭𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞𝔩𝔬𝔫𝔢" 𝔭𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔨 𝔬𝔫 𝔞𝔬𝔱 𝔟𝔬𝔶𝔰! - 𝔠𝔬𝔩𝔩𝔞𝔟 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 @levisgirll

Hello everyone!! This is a special collab post brought to you by ‘cookiefics’ and ‘levisgirll’ and we decided to work together and write up a post which is y/n pranking their aot boyfriends!

Check out cookiefics for Eren and Reiner -  you’re here :D

Check out ‘levisgirll’ for Levi and Jean. - find it here :D

Synopsis: Y/N decided to prank the boys in attack on titan by saying they don’t want to ‘sleep with them tonight’. Some will get annoyed, sad, might tease you back or try to get your attention! And to make it up, Y/N ends the prank by saying the 3 words they long wanted to hear! So pick or check out which character you like the most and enjoy <3 We promise this will be good, it is filled with love, fluff, entertainment and a little bit angst.

a/n:  hi! cookie here lol. just wanted to say that working with mina was such a good and fun experience! i absolutely enjoyed every minute of it! :D i’m really happy about how it ended and i really hope you all enjoy this as much as we enjoyed creating it together! also, remember to check Mina’s works on @levisgirll to find more quality - specially for levi- content, you won’t regret it, she’s SUPER talented !! ;) please support her on her works !

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eren x reader, reiner x reader

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eren:

Eren didn’t expect that to come out of your mouth so smoothly as it did.

“Today I prefer to sleep alone.” he raised a brow, a silent ask in his eyes while he took off his shirt, getting ready for bed. He looks at you once again, seeing how you’re not in bed, just sitting there, looking at him.

“Are you serious?” he asks. You nod quietly. You can see how his lip pouts a little, his nose being extremely cute while he does it.

You want to laugh so bad, his confused green eyes looking quietly around, as if he was searching a camera or something.

“Where am I supposed to sleep then, honey?” he asks, without even asking again if he has to sleep far from you.

“I don’t know… On the sofa?” you ask. He sighs. He looks once more to you, making sure you want that.

“‘M going then, good night, honey.” he says, the pout still on his mouth.

“Night, Eren.”

That definitely made him turn around and face you. 

“Okay. No good, just night, followed by Eren as if i did something. What did I do this time?” he asks. His precious eyes are still on yours, and you shake your head.

“You did nothing.” you say. His brain starts to work at 100% capacity. Maybe the problem is that he didn’t make anything.

He looked quick to the clock. It isn’t your birthday, your anniversary or any other special date.

He kissed you this morning before and after leaving home. He called you during your work rest. He cooked dinner and spent some time with you on the couch.

What the hell are you saying then? You want to sleep alone for what reason?

He doesn’t want to pressure you, though. He knows maybe you have your reasons to avoid him today and he doesn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.

He takes then his pillow and walks towards the couch, taking a blanket on his way. He murmurs to himself and you can hear him, trying to cover your laugh.

Minutes later, you walk silently to the couch. Eren is almost ready for his sleep, his hair tangled on a low bun and his pillow on the couch.

“Honey, what are you doing here?” he asks. You laugh quietly.

“It was a joke.” Eren’s green eyes are now open with surprise, before a brow raises quietly.

“Oh, so it was a joke.” he says, getting up slowly. “How funny.”

He was supposed to laugh, but he looks at you instead, with a serious expression. “Search where to hide cause I’m not going to be merciful with you.”

You run towards your bedroom, laughing, and you can hear his steps behind you. You jump into your shared bed, seeing how he closes the door behind him.

You move until your back is against the headboard. You keep laughing.

“Eren!” you say, and he takes off his bun. Then, casually, he takes the hair tie between his teeth, a smirk starting to appear on his lips.

He crawls to the bed, his arms all tensed, the muscles on his back marked by the strength he’s using to lift his body.

He gets closer to you, the hair tie still between his lips. This isn’t funny anymore. You want that damn hair tie to disappear from his mouth. You want to be the thing Eren is casually kissing.

He sits in front of you, his eyes never leaving yours.

With patience, he ties his hair in a bun, your eyes following his fingers, how they pass the hair between the hair tie parts. His eyes are still locked on yours. Once he’s finished, he gets closer.

“That joke of yours annoyed me. Now, deal with it, hm?” he whispers.

That was almost a direct attack. You feel your legs weak against his husky voice. He smirks, getting closer to you.

Closed door, hair in a tight bun, no shirt and just a little lamp as a source of light made you think of how the night will end, making you smile for yourself while he keeps being closer. Your lips are almost on his, but he takes his head away, smiling.

“If you think I tied up my hair and closed the door to do disrespectful things with you, you’re so wrong, honey” he says. You’re totally shocked and Eren laughs.

“What was that, Jaeger?” you ask, surprised because of the change of his mood. He enters the bed between laughs.

“Revenge, honey.”

You pout while he gets comfortable on the bed.

“Now you should kiss me.” you say. You’re angry at him now. Is he leaving you like that? Like the mess he made out of you?

“I want to sleep. Good night, y/n”

reiner:

“Reiner…” You call him. He looks at you, his sweet smile only directed at you. That makes your heart flutter, and also makes you feel kinda cruel.

“Yes, my love?”

“Today I want to sleep alone.” All the joy and calm in his eyes starts to disappear, his head getting full of thoughts.

“Why?” he asks simply. “Please, my love, don’t sleep away from me…” His head got invaded.

Why? Did I mess it up? Does they want to leave me? Did I fail again?

You can see how the prank started to make his head overthink, so you approach him quickly.

Your hands take his t-shirt, pulling him to you. He has a sad expression.

“Sorry, Rein. It was just a TikTok prank and I didn’t know it would affect you so much. I’m so sorry.” You were almost in tears. Reiner sighs.

“Please, don’t do that again.” he asks softly. “I got scared. I thought I made something wrong.” he says. That breaks your heart a little more. You start to cry against his shirt. “Hey, love. Don’t cry. It was just a joke.” he says.

He turns around and takes your face in his hands. You feel how he wipes out some tears, smiling a little for you. “But please, never scare me like that.”

“I’m sorry.” you say again. He takes your face closer and kisses your forehead sweetly.

“But you do still love me, right?” That question makes you shed a couple tears.

“I love you, Rein. I do, please don’t forget it.”

He smiles a little more. “I also love you a lot.” he says. He takes his lips again to your face, this time, your nose. “But you really scared me.”

“I’ll never do it again.” you say. He looks at you.

“Then.. Can I sleep here?” he asks. You both laugh a little.

Once you two are accommodated, with you between Reiner’s arms, feeling his soft breath on your hair and his legs tangled with yours, you feel safe.

“Rein.” you whisper. He hums. “If I ever hurt you, please tell me. Even if it is just a little thing.” He takes you closer. “I don’t want to hurt you.” you say. Your lips leave a kiss on his chest, near to where his heart is beating. You feel his hands hugging your body stronger.

“Okay. But the same goes for you. I don’t want to hurt you. You’re the most precious person I have.” he says. His hands go up and down your spine.

“You’re also the most important person to me. I really love you. I fell in love with you and I wouldn’t doubt doing it again.” you say. You feel how his mouth moves against your head. “Rein?”

Afraid of finding him crying, you look at him. The moonlight that enters is enough to see your boyfriend’s smile.

“That’s… That’s so sweet. You make me so happy…” his  eyes are now shining. You are grateful for seeing that shining again. He caresses your cheek again, and you rest your head on the pillow, letting your faces meet.

“Rein.”

“Hm?” he says, fixed on your eyes and the way his thumb draws on your cheek.

“Can I kiss you?”

He smiles widely, even more than before. He gets closer to you.

“Until my lips hurt, please.”

[catchmewiddershins]

Haikyuu Hugs pt 4:

FUKURODANI

Bokuto Koutarou:

THE ONE YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR

THE BEST HUGGER IN THE ENTIRE SERIES

THE BIG MAN HIMSELF

He is the absolute KING of hugs, let me tell you

If you want hugs, he's got you, 900%

All you have to do is hold out your arms and your face will be buried in his chest before you can say Hoot

When he wants hugs he'll stare at you and blink a bunch to get your attention

Or sometimes he'll pout at you, or rest his head on you until you notice

Before we get into the pillow qualities of this man though, let's discuss his hug technique

The kind of man who you can go to when you’re scared, and he’ll wrap you up and whisper reassurances and loving words to you because he is whipped 

He can pull off ANY SORT OF HUG

Lying down? Head on chest or thighs, you can fall asleep as he plays with your hair or wraps his arms around you

Sitting down? You can sit on his lap, or drape yourself over his shoulders, or he'll drape over yours!

Standing? He'll hug you straight on, facing you, arms at your waist. He'll hug you from behind, a protective weight at your back, resting his chin on your head.

He has a habit of squeezing you to him, arms round your shoulder blades

His arms are SO BIG and he's SO BEEFY and PLEASE getting hugged to his massive, warm chest is a DREAM COME TRUE

The CUDDLE MASTER

And finally, my magnum opus, the ultimate Bokuto hug:

If you see each other after a while, he'll run to you, especially if you run to him, he'll squeeze you to his chest and hoist you into the air with a joyous laugh, spinning the both of you around before slowing, holding you close as he sways you, humming softly in your ear

Ah that felt good to get off my chest man do I long to hug this man~

Washio Tatsuki:

Tall + Intimidating looking + Strong, silent type? You know this man gives good hugs

Very warm, very safe, like a tower with the insides of a fluffy blanket

Honestly? He’s pretty quiet, not too into loud and exuberant hugging or whispered conversations, but he is so good for comfort cuddles

Anytime you need sheltering from the world, or you’re just tired and stressed, you can go to him and he’ll hug you when you relax, sleep, or vent to him

He’s an incredible listener, he loves to lie on the sofa with you on his chest as you talk about anything

He’ll stroke your cheek or hair, or rub circles on your back with a soft smile

I actually think that, once you’ve been friends or in a relationship for a while, that he’d get a little clingy, once you’re close

He seems to have this stony, blunt, stern face that he shows the world, and that is who he is, but he also really cares for you and he wants to make sure you’re ok, and he will approach you for hugs if he can sense that something is up

Sometimes he’ll hug you to him and he’ll muse quietly over some things he needs to do, or something he’s working on; only short sentences but that’s all he needs to convey his meaning, lulling you to sleep with the low rumble of his chest

Once you fall asleep he’ll press a kiss to the top of your head and whisper ‘I love you’

Sarukui Yamato:

When I tell you that there is SO LITTLE on this man’s personality-

Anyway, I am taking the very very little we see of him and running with it so-

~ahem~

He really loves giving you little kisses while hugging you!

There you’ll both be, standing around, and before you know it he’s got you pressed to his chest, dotting your cheeks, nose and brow with tiny kisses, short, sweet and loving

He does longer kisses too! He’ll press a kiss to your lips mid-embrace, holding it for a little just so you can feel how much he loves you

He’ll do the same if you’re cuddling while laying down, just kiss your face or hands without pulling away for a while

His favourite thing to do is rest his face against your neck or collarbone, letting his lips linger against your skin, not fully kissing it but feeling it, loving the contact between you

He trusts you with his problems, and will sometimes come to you when stressed or annoyed, and vent to you a little while your fingers run through his hair, a feeling that he finds incredibly reassuring

He’s also a fiddler, he’ll fiddle with your hair or clothes or fingers while cuddling, or he’ll paint patterns on your arms with his fingers, twisting fabric into whorls as you cuddle

Akaashi Keiji:

Ah~ another beautiful character! There are far too many of these in this show, it’ll be the death of us all 

Regardless - I think Akaashi began a little more uncomfortable with physical contact! He didn’t jump straight into the hug life, but stepped in gradually, yet once he became comfortable oh you’ve unleashed a monster

Akaashi prefers to be calm, collected and polite around others, so it is with you that he unwinds the most

He absolutely adores laying with his head in your lap, letting you play with his curls as he gestures emphatically towards the ceiling while describing his day and how the team is doing

He’s a sway hugger too, he’ll rock you gently from side to side as you embrace, one hand firm at your back or waist

He has a habit of making little sarcastic comments while you hug too, things about what his teammates or other schools have been up to

He gets a little touchy at points, brushing his hands past your arms or shoulders while you work, or using you as a head rest - casual contact for the win here

Considering his habit to overthink, he’ll seek you out whenever his thoughts begin running too wildly

At his point he’ll curl up in a blanket with his head on your chest, talking out his thoughts as you whisper to him - he finds your presence to be the most calming thing in the world

He likes to kiss your hands too, before embracing you - he has this little thing he’ll do

He’ll offer you his hand, and when you take it he’ll press a kiss to your fingers, or the back of your hand, before sweeping you towards him and wrapping you in a hug

He then begins laughing, and he has the most enchanting giggles - they range from quiet to full on snorting, but all of them are some of the beautiful laughter you’ve ever heard

Konoha Akinori:

In all honesty, Konoha is really hard to characterise - I have like... two routes I could go down and I can’t choose... So I’m going to throw in elements of both! Enjoy!

First of all, this guy is really fun and teasing and his hugs reflect this

Another sway hugger, but not gentle swaying, but happy swaying, almost like dancing, you can tell he’s happy as he swishes you around within his clasps, laughing all the while

He likes to flirt a little too as you hug, both hands at your hips and his words a breeze by the shell of your ear, words of affection and admiration for how wonderful you look today

He likes to be the big spoon, and will hug you from behind constantly - he loves to have you laying on him, or to rest his head on yours or your shoulder, humming a small tune 

He actually enjoys giving you massages too! His fingers are long and dexterous, and dig perfectly into the knots that the muscles of your back form after a long day, moulding you into a relaxed puddle like a vat of kinetic sand

On the flip side, he harbours several insecurities over his supposed lack of outstanding talent, being the ‘jack of all trades’ and not having a specific ‘thing’

Some days this will hit him hard, and he’ll come to you - lay down his head and close his eyes

He knows you’ll feel his hurt - and nothing cheers him up like your reassurances that he is good enough and that every person with one talent needs an all rounder to back them up and that he’s more useful in the long run

It reassures him, and he smiles as he soaks up your warmth - knowing that he is master of one thing and it’s loving you

Anahori Shūichi:

He’s so sweet and excitable! 

Such loving and enthusiastic hugs from him, because you are his whole world

He will squeeze you to his chest with the utmost abandon and give you little kisses all over your face

He does puppy eyes when he wants a hug

When you first became close, he was often a bit nervous to approach you if he wanted a hug

But over time he became more comfortable... and adorably clingy as a result

He’ll always back off if you’re not in the mood - but this man wants his cuddles

CHAIR CUDDLE KING!

Oh what’s a chair cuddle? Only his favourite hug in the world

The BEST hug you can give him is one where he sits in a chair (preferably a massive, squishy armchair) and you sit on his lap and let him cuddle you

Facing towards or away from him he loves it, just having his arms around your waist as you watch something together

He also loves to sit in your lap, if you’ll have him, either as a joke or sincerely

Just this man... he loves the cuddle

Woollen blanket levels of snuggleeeeeeeeeee

Please stroke his hair he loves it

Komi Haruki:

Another energetic boy (this poor team’s coach rip)

He loves you

Like really loves you

And he wants to tell you that over and over again!

While he hugs you he will definitely whisper sweet nothings into your ear and tell you he adores you

Cuddles all day, cuddles all night!

Will cuddle you in his sleep, like you’re laying in bed and you wake up in the middle of the night for whatever reason and he will be snuggling you so hard

One arm thrown over you and his nose at your neck and he’s so happy there that you’d feel really bad moving him

Also definitely headcanon he’s warm

Not open oven Bokuto warm but...

In a room with a log fire in the corner on a winter’s day warm

Very cozy and comforting, also very sweet with you

Will tell you about the funny parts of his day while hugging

Onaga Wataru:

He’s less enthusiastic than some of our previous boys for sure

But that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you just as much

I’m feeling sappy tonight so honestly? You are his everything

But headcanon! I don’t think he’s the best exactly at speaking his emotions

Oh he cherishes you with everything he has but he’s relatively quiet and finds it hard to express all that sheer emotion with words

In his mind, letters don’t cut it - how can a mere human mouth fully express the depth of the heart’s devotion? His love is more than words it’s colours and feelings and everything he associates with you and he is not (in his mind) eloquent enough to tell you

But he wants to

So? Hugs

When he hugs you this man puts his all into it

His squeeze is the perfect tightness, not too weak, not too tight

When his arms wrap perfectly around your shoulders, he tries to push all of his feelings into the hug

He wants to transmit his love for you through the physical contact

Long hugger definitely, he can hold you for hours

Will DROP EVERYTHING to hug you if you ask - no matter how important, you are first

Sturdy hugs and frame as well, just a good hugger

[marauderundercover]

This Side of Normal Chapter Four

Previous

AO3

Technically, it was an accident. Well, more than technically. It was definitely a legitimate accident that Jason figured out their secret identities only a month after meeting them. Chat Noir’s should’ve been the easiest, given the fact that he saw the boy on nearly every billboard in Paris. However, it wasn’t the billboards that gave it away. It wasn’t even the ungodly number of times the kid’s perfume ad came on the tv. No, it was the shocked “Jason” that the boy spluttered out when he bumped into him in front of the school. Without a mask. Yeah. Not subtle at all. Ladybug’s just fell into place after that. What with the tiny dark-haired girl shooting him worried glances as she patted Chat’s back. Chat Noir. Adrien Agreste. Agreste. Gabriel Agreste. Hawkmoth- fuck. That’s why the kid seemed so down every time they worked on a plan to prove Gabriel was Hawkmoth. Shit. Well that settles it. Hawkmoth was going down, and he was going down soon. The kids could handle themselves, and with Jason willing to fight with them...Gabriel won’t know what hit him. 

----

“Oh god. Oh god. I messed up. He’s not gonna help us anymore and I messed up and-” Adrien rambles, a panicked expression taking over his face. 

“Adrien, it’s okay. Please breathe, it’s okay.” Marinette says lowly, gently rubbing his back. 

“He knows who Hawkmoth is, Mari. He’s gonna think I’m a bad guy too.” Adrien whispers, his eyes filling with tears. Marinette’s heart breaks as she looks at her best friend and the crushed look on his face. 

“Jason’s a good guy. He’s always making sure we eat enough and take care of our injuries, and he always asks if we’re getting enough sleep. He’s like….he’s like our big brother. He’s not going to abandon us just because he knows your dad is a major jerk.” Marinette says matter-of-factly. Adrien frowns, but nods. 

“What do we do?” He asks. Marinette scrunches her eyebrows, not understanding the question. “I mean, what do we do about him knowing? Do we ask him to leave Paris? Or do we just act like we don’t know that he knows who we are?” 

“I think we wait, see if he brings it up. I trust him, Adrien. I know that we haven’t known him for long, but he’s always had our best interest in mind. He cares about us, and as much as it hurts to say, I think he cares more than Master Fu did.” 

“Why do I feel like everything’s gonna change?” Adrien asks, his voice small as he curls in on himself. 

“Because it is. But it’s not necessarily a bad change.” Marinette says, hoping her voice sounds cheerier than she feels. She’s also felt the shift coming for awhile, felt the way the air seemed to spark with energy. Adrien frowns again and Marinette wraps him in a hug, knowing that no matter how good the change would be for the majority of Paris, her best friend would be hurt. He would suffer, and there was nothing that she could do to take away all of the hurt that is sure to come. No matter how badly she wanted to. 

----

Jason paced the length of the roof, trying to figure out a way to broach the subject of identities with the kids. He didn’t want them to stop trusting him, but he also didn’t want them to feel like they <i>had<i> to confirm it. He also really didn’t want them to ask him to leave. How was he supposed to be there for them if he wasn’t allowed to <i>be<i> there? Thinking back to earlier this afternoon, Jason huffs in annoyance when he remembers how young both of them looked. Three years. For three goddamned years these kids had fought something bigger than themselves, and they had done so alone. Alone, with no one but other kids to help until even that was taken away from them. Taking a few shaky breaths, Jason tries to calm himself. There’s no way in hell he’s gonna let himself be controlled by some asshole in a butterfly costume. No way he’ll let that asshole use him against those kids. Someone clearing their throat makes Jason’s eyes shoot open as he looks over where he heard the noise. He grins, hoping the kid isn’t overthinking too much.

“Chat may be a little late tonight. He got caught up with something in his civilian life.” Ladybug says, dressed in her usual training clothes and domino mask, her arms wrapped around herself like she’s trying to hold herself together. 

“You okay Pixie Pop?” Jason asks, frowning. She purses her lips and Jason can tell she’s weighing how much she should say. Taking a chance, Jason says “I saw you guys today.” The girl sucks in a deep breath and nods. 

“Yeah, yeah I know.” She says, and Jason gives her a minute to collect herself and decide if she wants to say anything else about it. “How much do you know? I know you saw us, but…”

“I know his name. And I know what you look like behind a mask.” Jason says, and the girl nods before she starts pacing. 

“I trust you, Jason. I really do. And I told Chat that it would be okay and that you care about us, but if there’s even a small chance of you being akumatized you’ve gotta go because even though I trust you, I can’t risk my identity and his identity and I’m sure you understand that. Especially with who we think Hawkmoth is because it’s already bad but if he found out it would be even more bad and now Chat is worried that you’ll hate him because of you know, everything, and that’s why he’s not here yet because he’s scared that you’ll look at him differently and-” Ladybug rants, stopping as Jason kneels down to be eye level with her. 

“Hey Pix, I’m gonna need you to breathe okay. I told you that I would help you guys, and I’m not gonna leave just because Chat Noir got the short end of the stick. I don’t hate him, and I’m sure as hell not gonna let myself be akumatized. I’m here for you, both of you. And I’m not gonna let some jackass in a butterfly costume chase me off from helping you guys.” He says, talking in the voice he used when he was talking to street kids as Red Hood. The voice that was meant to be calming, but not patronizing. The voice that was laced with concern, and the reassurance that whoever he was talking to didn’t have to run away. That they were safe. 

“You’re really not gonna leave?” She asks in a small voice. Jason shakes his head. 

“No, I’m here. And I’m not just gonna ditch you guys. If anything, finding out who he is just made me wanna get this done quicker. Get him outta that house.” Jason says, and Ladybug nods. 

“Did you- did you want to know my name?” She asks, and Jason instantly sees the worry in her posture. She’ll tell him, but he can tell that she doesn’t want to. At all. Not that he blames her. A lot sits on her shoulders. Jason shakes his head. 

“You can tell me after, if you want. But you don’t have to say anything now, okay Pixie?” Jason smiles softly as Ladybug’s shoulders instantly relax. She grins and pulls out her phone, probably to tell Chat Noir that it’s safe for him to come. The two wait in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before a soft thud announces the kid’s arrival. 

“Hi Jay.” The boy says quietly, curled in on himself as he obviously prepares to be yelled at. 

“Hey kiddo. I’m not mad at you, you know that, right?” Jason asks, making sure to keep his body language relaxed despite how much he wants to go and beat the shit out of Gabriel Agreste. 

“You don’t think I’m a monster?” Chat asks, and Jason shakes his head. 

“I’ve met monsters, kid. And you’re sure as hell not one.” He says. 

“But my father-”

“I don’t give a damn about that piece of shit. You’re not him. You’re the kid who thought he could fit twelve marshmallows in his mouth. You’re the kid who cheers on LB no matter what. You’re the kid who makes god awful jokes, seriously the only one with worse jokes is my brother. You’re the kid who stepped up and helped to protect Paris when no one else would. You’re a lot of things, but you’re not your father and you’re definitely not a monster.” Jason says. Chat- no, Adrien lets out a choked sob and rushes forward, wrapping his arms around him. Jason freezes for a minute, before wrapping his arms around the kid, watching for butterflies. It’d be just their luck for Gabriel to akumatize Adrien when he was finally letting himself cry. Jason glanced over at LB, noting that she was also watching the skies. After a few minutes, Adrien’s cries slow down to sniffles before he takes a step back, his cheeks bright red under his mask. 

“Uh, I- um, sorry about that.” He apologizes, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. 

“Don’t worry about it kid. What’re big brothers for?” Jason asks with a cheeky smirk. He snorts when he sees the kids’ eyebrows shoot up in surprise. 

“Did Buginette tell you about that?” Adrien asks, and this time it’s Jason’s turn for his eyebrows to shoot up. He glanced over at Ladybug, surprised to see her entire face bright red. 

“I er, um, no I didn’t.” She stammers out, looking everywhere but at Jason. 

“Tell me what?” Jason asks, still confused why the two were acting so weird. 

“Well, I, um, you see-” Adrien cuts off Ladybug. 

“She says you're our big brother.” Adrien says with a grin. Jason’s confused face is instantly replaced with a wide grin. 

“Well of course I am.” Jason says, unable to wipe the grin off his face. Jason snorted at the thought that Bruce was gonna have to get two more rooms ready at the manor (it was safer than Jason’s apartment and he was not about to put these two in any more danger than they’ve already been in for three years). 

“So big bro,” Adrien starts, his wide grin still stretched across his face. “What’s the plan?”

“We’re gonna get Hawkmoth’s miraculous. Tonight.”

Next

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Taglist: @laurcad123

[pascalpanic]

Okay hi I’m back with an IDEA☄️

So. I’ve been thinking about how stubborn javi would be with his feelings. Like maybe he’s being messing around with this girl and he knows he has feelings for her and she knows it too but both of them are so stubborn so they go out of their way just getting under each other’s skin.

Like imagine they’re at a bar with steve and she’s just flirting around and dancing with guys all the while shooting him bedroom eyes and he’s just there BROODING AND ANGRY n Steve is just like “you guys are so insufferable” UGH

aaaaaaa i love this so much!! here we are:

Always Been Yours (Javier Peña x f!Reader)

Summary: Javier doesn’t take kindly to having his dance partner stolen from him.

W/C: 2.7k

Warnings: language, lots of bad flirting, mentions of sex and sexual topics but nothing too explicit, Javier is his own warning. alcohol and cigarettes.

A/N:  ☄️ anon you have done it again!! this was so much fun to write I hope it’s what you were thinking!!

Restraint is one of Javier’s best qualities. He can hold back when he needs to, save his emotions until they’re all too much then channel them out by fucking or drinking them away. He does it often, in fact. Sometimes, that restraint is too strict. Javier never allows himself to relax, never allows himself the luxury of feeling the powerful emotions his mind creates. 

This restraint can sometimes transfer over even when Javier doesn’t mean to. He wants to let loose, he really does, but he physically can’t most of the time. Contrary to the men at work who tell him he’s too impulsive, he’s an overthinker. He mentally runs every possible outcome of any situation he’s in. He just picks the more dangerous options sometimes.

Javier holds back his emotions even more when it comes to romance. He sleeps around quite a bit, does what he pleases with whomever he chooses. It’s not because he lacks feelings or attachment, it’s because he fears them both. He knows what he did to Lorraine hurt her immensely. He never wants to hurt someone again, and so he avoids romantic relationships. 

He fell for you when he met you. It was as plain and simple as that. When you moved your cardboard box into the desk in the corner of his and Murphy’s bullpen, his eyes were drawn to you. You had such an elegant and beautiful walk, he noticed. Your head was held high, your hips swayed like you were dancing. When you shook his hand, when he felt your soft fingers in his calloused palm, he was fucked. 

He flirted with you. Of course he did. That’s how Javier does things. The flirting was subtle and quiet, not loud and brash like he normally was. He told you he loved those earrings, that that blouse was really beautiful. It always tied back to how beautiful you were. 

It escalated when he realized you were into him too. You’d flirt back shamelessly, telling him that you wished you were involved with the narcos so that he'd pay more attention to you. He’d shoot back that you weren’t looking right, because his eyes were always trained on you. Steve made a vomiting noise at that and left for more coffee. “You’re just jealous he’s flirting with me and not you, Murphy,” you called out after him. You looked back at Javi with a devilish grin, and he shot one back in return.

That’s how your relationship has been going this time. You’re down hard for Javier, completely entranced by him. When he talks about cases, you have a hard time listening. Your eyes trace his biceps, the way they bulge against the sleeves of his shirt. You make snarky comments just to see the fire in his eyes ignite again.

Javier really wants to ask you out, he does. But he fears it’s unprofessional. He fears that you just want to hook up with him, and he likes you too much to do something like that. He wants you fully, in an all-consuming way. 

You really like him, but you fear the same from him. His reputation precedes him, and you know all about Javier’s habits. You know he sleeps with informants to get information in those quiet moments after the work is done. You know he flirts with anything in a skirt around the office, and has slept with a decent number of those women too. Javier is a tornado, tearing through women faster than they can recover. If that’s not enough for him, you know he loves to frequent certain brothels in the area. You notice the sneaking way some of the girls there will grab his arm and murmur something as he walks past, the way he’s far too into it for being on the job. They know him by name sometimes. He knows them too. 

As much as you want to be with Javier, you don’t want to be with the womanizer. You want to be with him in the early hours of the morning, want to tighten his tie for him before you walk into work together. You want to make him laugh and want him to stay with you and hold you after the events of the night. 

You’re practical though. That’s not really who Javier is. You know that as well as you know the man. You want him in any way you can get him, really. That means you’re willing to just sleep with him. You’d take a night with him over never touching him at all. 

Drinks after work are a common occurrence for you, Steve, and Javier. All three of you need the assistance of alcohol to relax after the chaos that is working for the DEA. The two men order beers, and you order a strong cocktail the bar you frequent is known for.

Tonight is a rare night where Connie is out of town. You and Javier, the two single ones, demanded that the three of you absolutely must go to the club. It’s a Friday night, you got off work early for once, and you want to let loose. Steve reluctantly agreed, and now you’re sitting in the backseat while Steve drives you and Javier. 

As you enter the club, the music is loud and the bass pounds. You whoop excitedly and wander into the dance floor. Steve and Javier find barstools and sit. 

You return after that initial song ends, resting one arm on Javier’s shoulder. They ordered a drink for you, the one they know you love. “Aw, thank you guys,” you coo and rest your head on Steve’s shoulder.

“Jesus Christ, kid. You haven’t even had anything to drink yet and you’re acting like this?” The blonde scoffs and looks down at you.

You frown. “Steve, come on. It’s a Friday night, I’m with my favorite guy, and Javier is here too. How couldn’t I be this happy?”

Javier rolls his eyes at you. “Thanks for that, princesa,” he murmurs as he sips at his whiskey.

The three of you remain at the bar for a while, chatting and laughing. Eventually, a song comes on that you know Javier loves. “Alright, you big buzzkill,” you laugh and grab Javier’s strong bicep. “Come dance with me.” 

Javi groans as he stands and sets down his glass. “Fine. Only because you look so good tonight,” he mumbles to you.

Once you reach the floor, his arms wrap around your waist and yours encircle his neck. His hips start moving against yours to the music and you shudder, bare arms prickling in the humid air of the club. You rest your face in the curve of his neck as you dance, both of you moving your feet in perfect time with the other. 

He’s a wonderful dancer, you already knew, but something about it is extremely intimate. Your bodies, which have long desired the other’s, are flush against each other. He can feel your tits pressing into his chest and one of your hands slides up into his hair, toying with the waves it finds there. He uses all of the power he physically has to stop the blood from flowing straight to his dick. 

“You’re good at this,” you mumble into his ear.

“Only because it’s you I’m dancing with.”

Your time in Javier’s arms doesn’t last long. You dance more separately now, one hand of his still on your waist. It all shifts when another man puts a hand on your hip and turns you his way. “Can I steal you away?” He asks. He’s handsome, dark hair and dark eyes. He’s tall, taller than Javi. You don’t want anyone but your DEA agent, but this presents a wonderful opportunity. 

“Of course,” you nod and he twirls you into his arms, wrapping one arm around you and taking one of your hands in his.

Javier watches in disbelief at the ease the man had in taking you from him. You’re now pressed to this random man’s chest, one hand resting over his heart. You giggle at something he murmurs to you and your body is pressed tight against his. 

Javier stalks off back to the bar, sitting back down next to Murphy and slamming his whiskey. “Another one,” he calls from the bartender, who has another glass tumbler sitting in front of the man in a matter of seconds.

He watched you from the bar with a growing fire in his eyes. The way your hips moved was like the spinning of a hypnotist’s wheel, drawing him in until he couldn’t look away. You were passed around from man to man, grinning and laughing the entire time. You were having fun, that much was clear, and it almost made Javier feel bad for the jealousy that burned a pit in his stomach. He lights a cigarette to dull the want he feels for you.

Your partner spins you around and you lock eyes with Javier. They’re trained on you, they have been the whole night. You smirk a little before continuing the turn, wrapping yourself into your partner’s chest as he pulls you along across the floor. 

Steve rolls his eyes and downs the rest of his beer. “For the love of fuckin’ Christ, Peña. Either quit staring at her like that or go fuckin’ get her from that man.”

Javier glares back at Steve. “Shut the fuck up. You’re supposed to be my wingman, not to fucking yell at me.”

“You need to be yelled at. I am being your wingman. In my professional opinion, as a man who’s fucking married to a woman who played the hard-to-get deal, you need to go show her that you actually do like her or she’s gonna end up going home with that fucker.”

Steve always gives Javier the tough love he needs. He groans as he realizes that Steve is probably right. He needs to go do something now. You lock eyes with him and give him your best teasing smile, your eyes showing everything. You’re having fun, but if Javier comes and stops you, you’d let him do whatever the fuck he wants. “Come get me,” you mouth to the man before resting your head against your partner’s chest, laughing and swaying along with him. 

Javier downs his second whiskey and stands. “Fuck it.”

“Atta boy,” Steve laughs and claps him on the back. “I’m telling you now, I’m not driving the two of you home if you’re gonna be making out in the backseat.”

Javier smirks and stubs out his cigarette in an ashtray on the bar. “I live close enough to walk.” He cracks his neck and makes his way out into the rainbow-colored chaos that is the crowded dance floor. 

You’re hard to find in a sea of people, all of them twirling and moving. Some women have their heads on their partner’s chest, making it even harder to find you. Javier finds the last man who held you in his arms, the one wearing a green shirt. He’s got someone else now. 

Javier is caught by surprise when two arms wrap around his neck and his naturally find their way to rest on the hips of the person: you. “Hey, Peña,” you grin at him, one hand resting on his chest. “Sorry I got pulled away.”

“No you’re fucking not,” the man laughs, moving you along to the music.

“I am,” you refute him, frowning a little. “I wanted to dance with you, but I figured I’d give the other guys a shot. Especially since you’re taking your sweet ass time with me.”

Javier’s eyes darken slightly. “They should’ve realized you’re mine.”

You look up at him, tilting your head and eyes narrowing. “Oh, I’m yours?”

He shakes his head. “We both can tell. You know that, know what’s between us.”

“No clue what you’re talking about.”

“Can I show you, then?” He offers. 

You nod, scrunching your nose. “Do your worst, Javi.”

He cups the side of your face with one large hand and kisses you deeply. You gasp in surprise, even though you knew it was coming. It’s warm and perfect, Javier’s strong arms holding you in place.

The rest of the dance floor twirls and moves along, but you and Javier have stopped moving. Your feet are planted firmly to the ground, arms wrapped around him like an anchor point in a sea of people. He kisses you harder and you allow it, kissing him back just as deeply. He tastes like whiskey and you taste like the fruity cocktail you drank earlier. Normally, the two would taste awful combined, but it doesn’t matter because now it tastes like you and Javier and anything with him included is the most delicious thing you’ve ever had the pleasure of gracing your tastebuds.

He breaks away a moment later. “Can I buy you a drink?” He asks teasingly.

“Not if you want me in your bed tonight,” you flirt right back. You can feel the apples of your cheeks warming with a rush of blood from the kiss, from what you’re insinuating, from the alcohol and from the movement on the floor.

“I don’t. I just want you in my arms and maybe on my lips some more.”

You look up at him, truly astounded. “I thought you’d just want to fuck me and be done,” you admit honestly as you push back a strand of dark brown hair that fell into his face while the two of you moved.

“I don’t want that,” he shakes his head still breathless from the kiss. “I want you to be mine. I wanna take my time with you, and yeah I wanna fuck you, but I wanna date you properly and bring you flowers and walk you home late at night, and then I wanna rail you into the mattress so hard all you can feel is me. But that can wait. For now, I just wanna dance with you and tell you that I really like you. Have for a while now.”

You’re grinning ear to ear at his words. “Really?” You ask.

“No,” he deadpans. “I just said all that shit for fun.” 

“Your sarcasm is really annoying when I’m trying to be sweet and sincere with you.”

He sighs. “Yes, really, princesa. I just want you to be mine.”

The grin on your face only widens, your heart in your eyes as you look at him. “You don’t need to want it. I’m already yours. Didn’t you say that?” The music changes into a new song, something slower and sultry. “Ooh, I love this one,” you sing to Javi, forcing him along so that the two of you are once again dancing. “I’ve always been yours, Javi,” you admit, your thumb softly tracing the side of his neck from where your hand rests on his shoulder. “Since the moment we met. I really like you.”

“I really like you too, dulzura,” he murmurs and kisses you again. It’s not all-consuming or hot and sloppy like the last one. It’s warm and chaste with only the purest of intentions, Javier’s hands gripping your waist a little softer. 

He gets carried away by the way your lips meet his. One of his feet steps on your toes, exposed by the heels you’re wearing. “Fuck,” you cry and wince. 

“Oh, shit, I’m so sorry,” he mumbles, instinctually taking a step back from you so that he can’t possibly do it again.

You smile up at him softly as the pain subsides. “It’s alright. Maybe we’ll just need to get you some dancing lessons,” you tease and pull him close again.

You spend the rest of the song like that, slowly swaying along. Javier’s arms wrap around your waist, and he softly kisses the side of your head a few times. Eventually, your head finds its way to his shoulder, where it rests as Javier quietly mumbles the lyrics of the song to you. 

He’s not very good at it, and he’d be the first to admit it, but it’s beautiful when he’s soft and quiet. He’s doing it just for you, this quiet act of intimacy. You press a kiss to the skin of his neck when the song ends and he hums a chuckle. “My girl,” he murmurs and kisses you one last time. “Let’s go home.”

-

taglist: 

@remmysbounty @mishasminion360 @softly-sad @blo0dangel @binarydanvvers  @sleep-tight1 @apascalrascal @randomness501 @spideysimpossiblegirl @notabotiswear @pedro-pastel @sanchosammy @lv7867

[xpeachesncream]

restart | four

[ SEQUEL TO PERFECTLY WRONG ] | [ series masterlist ]

summary: as you and taehyung start to build your life together post graduation, things become more complicated than what you expected it to be. while taehyung struggles with his inner demons, you’ve become the sole supporter, the pillar, juggling different jobs to keep you two afloat. your love for each other has been put to the test as your relationship continues to face hurdles - hurdles that have you questioning whether or not your relationship will make it through.

pairing: reader x fiancé!kth

genre: post grad au, established relationship au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 4.8k

warnings: cussing/mature language, jealousy, lots of insecurities and overthinking, angst, crying, bar scene, alcohol consumption, flashback scene in the middle of the chapter, a lil sprinkle of fluff, implied sexual content, bickering/arguments

note: honestly, this was ALSO not supposed to get this long but like… 🙃 here we are lol

tags: @enchantaeduniverse​ @thedarkwinterrose​ @sapphirejeon​ @jwlmnbt​ @bluesharksandfish​ @ra-mun-e @brightcolorsoffendme​ @jungcrookthecookbook​ @sunniejinnie​ (please message me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

"Okay, I think that's it." You said, hands on your hips as you and Jungkook walked through your door for the final time.

"What are you selling, the world?" He huffs and puffs.

"For someone who works out often, you complain a lot." He rolls his eyes playfully.

"Where's Tae?"

"Sleeping still." He nods.

"Oh, okay. Ready to go then?" You nodded silently as you grabbed your bag to hitch a ride to the café with Jungkook since he was working today. He starts to talk about the girl who works with you two and how he thinks she's a little cutiepie. He has such a silly crush on her that his cheeks are lightly rose tinted every time he talks about certain encounters they've had. You're happy to see him happy, and you tell him to keep pursuing it since she's a super sweet girl. However, part of you is sad solely because you couldn't say you were 100% happy at this moment. You wish you were, but these problems were hindering you from feeling complete. You just wanted to get past this page in the book.

As soon as you both get to the cafe, you start unloading his trunk and getting everything inside. Jungkook claims he has the last two bags covered, so you walk to the back and take breather just to gather yourself before setting up. But you truly didn't expect to lose it right then and there.

"Okay! I got all the— Y/N?" Jungkook instantly worries when he sees you crying into your hands in the backroom and hurries over to you. "Hey, woah. What's going on?" He gets in front of you, gently trying to pry your hands off of your face.

"Fuck, I'm sorry." You continue to cry as he successfully removes your hands from your face.

"Sorry for what? What's going on?" He wipes your tears with his sweater and lifts your chin to look at you in the eye.

"Nothing."

"The day barely started and you're already crying in the backroom." He says softly. "Don't try and lie to me."

"I just don't know what's going on between me and Tae and it's stressing me out."

"What's going on? Same stuff?" You nod, tears still streaming down your cheeks. You tell him about how he had been super weird about taking Jimin's help and how you both got into a huge argument about it. Then, you told him how last night ended [sparing your poor bestfriend the details] and how you couldn't help but feel used because he simply dismissed you, which is very unlike Taehyung when it comes to arguments and disagreements. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I know he's going through a rough time, but Tae also needs to respect you and look at you as his partner, not someone who's also attacking him or against him. Do you want me to talk to him?"

"No." Simply, no. Because you never get your friends involved like that. You just don't, no matter how much they wanna help. "He looks at me like I am, especially after this whole Jimin thing. I don't wanna say it's stupid because I don't wanna discredit his feelings, but god. Like, should I just do this on my own? Tell Jimin to forget it?"

"No." Jungkook shakes his head. "You're already getting a good start on your goals, Y/N. Don't let that go because of everything going on. Give him some time and space."

"I have been. For awhile now." You sat, feeling completely defeated already, tears still coming down your cheeks.

"Here, I'll go set up and I can take over the table for a bit. I'll ask Isabella if she can cover for a quick second." He stands in front of you, hands out to help support you as if you had lost your footing.

"No, I'll be fine—"

"Y/N, just sit. Okay?" He gives off a small sigh. "Just sit for a second and let yourself take a breather." He gently sits you down and makes sure you don't get up by slowly backing away from you.

"Kook, this isn't Marco Polo."

"I'm just trying to make sure you don't run off because you're stubborn!"

"Hey!" Isabella comes running in, a little confused as to what's happening.

"Hey, can you cover me at the front for a bit?" Jungkook stands back upright in a normal position to ask her sweetly, hands tucked behind his back as he bounced on his feet. This boy.

"Yeah, of course Jungkook." She blushes.

"Thanks. I'll be right back." He gives you a quick look before dashing off. You lay your head onto your arms as they rest on the table, a small headache forming at the center of your forehead.

"You okay, Y/N?" Isabella asks softly as she puts her things away.

"Yeah, sorry. Just a really weird day yesterday."

"I'm sorry." You feel her hand caress your back. "Let me know if you need anything, okay?" She says before shuffling herself out of the room. To be honest, you had no idea what was going on with you, and why you were feeling this way. You were just so sick and tired. Sick and tired of being sick and tired.

This was slowly taking a toll on you, and you weren't even sure if Taehyung realized what he was doing was hurting you in the process.

He can't say he does.

Tae set the weights down back onto the rack aggressively before sitting on the bench, watching Jimin finish his set. They had been working out after lunch, Jimin calling him shortly after Taehyung had fully woken up.

"Are you gonna go to the café after this?" Tae shrugged.

"I don't know, Y/N said she didn't need help and wouldn't be there all day."

"You won't even visit for a bit?" Jimin asks. Usually Tae was rushing to get back to you, but he knew everything that had been going on had been affecting your relationship to an extent.

"We'll see."

"You two coming to the bars tonight then?"

"What are we celebrating again?"

"Nothing. Just getting together like old times. I told Kook, Hobi and Yoongi. They're down." Tae nodded.

"Joon, too?"

"Joon, too."

"Me and Y/N will probably go but I don't think we'll stay long. She has to do that thing at the school—" He scratched his head. "The thing— the exhibit and talking to incoming art students or whatever." Jimin chuckled at how Tae couldn't get his words out.

"It's not whatever."

"You know that's not what I mean." Tae rolled his eyes at him, annoyed all over again at how Jimin had been kissing your ass lately. Cause fuck, the way Jimin had been painting himself as a knight in shining armor, an angel even, was pissing him the fuck off. It made him feel like he wasn't doing enough to support you, or like you couldn't turn to him for help. He hated that feeling, even though he had been rude as hell and showing it in a different way.

"That's fine. Just come out and hang out for a bit." Jimin sighed as he sat on the bench next to him, drinking some water before placing the bottle back down on the ground. "You two doing okay?"

"Yeah, what makes you think we aren't?" Tae asks, getting defensive. Jimin quickly eyes him, reading his body language. He knew Taehyung so well - so fucking well that he knew almost immediately when things were taking a toll on him. Things liiiike.. his parents. As a prime example. Jimin knew Taehyung and his parents obviously didn't have the best relationship, and he knew he took things to heart whenever his father got on him about stupid shit [just like he did over that dinner]. Taehyung wasn't one to show emotion much; he liked showing people he was mentally tough and that he could handle whatever came his way. For the most part, it was true. But, Jimin and Namjoon also knew he wasn't always like that, especially when it came to things that mattered the most to him - his family and you. Taehyung hated to admit it but his family's opinion of him was important no matter what. He was hard on himself because he wanted them to be proud. He wanted to actually feel like he had been doing something good for once. He was still longing for that feeling no matter what he said or did. It was a never-ending battle; like a plot with no happy ending in sight.

"I'm just asking." Jimin threw up his hands, showing that he wasn't suggesting anything behind the harmless question.

"We're fine. I know she's been stressed lately because of work and her art."

"Mmm."

"It's funny." Taehyung chuckles at himself.

"What's funny?" Jimin laughed a bit, confused.

"I didn't expect to be caught up in her like this. After Hana, messing around with all these girls. She's my fucking fiancé."

"Yeah and you better not fuck that up." Jimin stands to gather his things.

"You sound like my dad." Tae jokes, even though he was pretty offended.

"I'm sorry, didn't mean to." Jimin instantly apologizes, knowing everyone had been walking on eggshells around Taehyung lately. "She's a good girl, you've got it good."

Taehyung softly smiles at the thought of you, but he wasn't gonna lie, he was hurt by Jimin's statement. Call him sensitive or whatever, but he wasn't feeling the fact that people were constantly looking at him as a fuck up and hinting at it. It seemed to be a reoccurring theme lately. "You ready?" Tae sighs before grabbing his stuff. They get into his car, departing from the gym to make their way to Jimin's so he can get dropped off before Tae heads home. Taehyung replays yesterday's events in his head, which instantly irks him all over again. But, he has such a soft spot for you that he feels terrible for having been too harsh about it. He was still upset, and he wasn't gonna let up on his feelings. But he knew he should have been better about how he approached it. He knew better than that. He's learned to do better.

➤ FLASHBACK

Taehyung excitedly parks his car at the café to surprise you for your pop up today. He had been working endlessly to finish off finals strongly, and he had been so busy that he hadn't really gotten a chance to help you or support you. He felt terrible about it because you were his babygirl and he wanted nothing but to spoil you for all the hardwork you've been putting in.

He creeps up behind you, bouquet of flowers hidden behind his back. "Excuse me, miss." He says lowly near your ear.

"Holy fuck!" You say as he startles you. "Babe, what the hell! Don't do that!" He laughs.

"What's cookin', goodlookin'?" He wiggles his eyebrows, making you chuckle. "These are for you." He smiles toothlessly as he hands you the pretty bouquet. "And your favorite!" He hands you a Mcflurry cup.

You squeal. "Oreo Mcflurry! Aw, thank you baby." You place a quick kiss on his lips. "But don't ever scare me like that!" You playfully hit his chest, causing him to erupt in laughter.

"You should've seen your face."

"Ha-ha, very funny." You rolled your eyes, causing him to pinch your cheeks.

"How's it going?"

"Welp, I'm almost out for the day." You giggle. "I, uh, may have underestimated." You look down at his hoodie, realizing it was one of the hoodies you had made for a previous collection you sold at Jin's. "Waaaow, cute sweater, who made it?"

"Mm, I don't know if you know her. Her name's Y/N."

"Uh huh?" You nod, hand on your hip, waiting to hear more.

"She stands about this tall." He lowers himself close to the ground, causing you to laugh. "Cute, right? She's beautiful, incredibly smart and sexy. Brilliant visual designer and illustrator. Packed with hella attitude." He pretends to ponder on his thoughts. "I could go on about her, really. She's one of a kind."

"Cute. She must feel lucky." You smile.

"I know, I'd feel lucky if I knew me too." You roll your eyes and playfully hit him. "Ah, I'm kidding." He pulls you into a hug. "I keep this sweater in my trunk."

"Oh, so you keep it in your trunk just for emergency wear?" You sarcastically ask as he holds you from behind.

"Yeah, and cause it's the only sweater I'd choose to wear out of the hundreds I own." You smile up at him. "Mhm, not gonna try and win that one." He places a big, sloppy kiss on your cheek before pulling away. "Show me. How can I help my pretty baby today?"

➤ END FLASHBACK

"Hey, I can't stay out late tonight because of the event tomorrow."

"Yeah, I know." Taehyung says softly.

"Please don't drink too much."

"I wooooooon't." He whines with a small sigh, also slightly offended at that statement. He didn't know what it was, maybe it was the fact that his own father painted him in such a negative light that everything seemed off to him lately. Like people were just out to get him or constantly looking down at him and his actions. A personal attack at who he was. It was slowly piling up for him and he wasn't sure how much more of it he could take.

You prepared a quick dinner while he hopped in the shower. You set his plate aside before taking a look at the mail that had come in today.

Bills, bills and more bills.

You sighed to yourself as it felt like you had just paid things off, but clearly not. Moving into Taehyung's wasn't the greatest idea, being that his space was much more expensive than yours. But, he did have the space you needed for your work. There was money left, but you knew it wouldn't last forever. You hated tapping into your savings and whipping out your credit cards because you wanted to keep yourself clean as much as possible. However, that was proven difficult as of late. It was a sacrifice, especially since Taehyung had cut off his mother's help. Taehyung's pride was such a curse sometimes.

You shook your head, already finalizing the fact that you would deal with it later. You had began to set your things aside for the new student event tomorrow morning. You figured you'd get there early to set up and make your table at neat and cute, so you didnt have to worry much about it right now.

Taehyung comes out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, hair slicked back and wet. You turn to face him, your eyes wandering down to his chest and bottom area. God, why was he so beautiful? It wasn't fair. You loved him so much that you could crumble even being upset. He talks a whole lot about you being the death of him, when really, this man is going to be the death of you. Truly. There's no debate about it.

Getting to the bar, you both immediately spot your friends in the corner, a huge tower of beer decorating the center of the table. Jimin is the first to stand, coming towards you two with a huge smile on his face.

"Friends!" Jimin yells. "Drink!" He says, holding up two shot glasses.

"Fuck, man." Taehyung says taking the glass. "We just got here."

"So! Y/N needs to be home early remember?" He watches wide-eyed as you two take the shot and make sour faces at each other.

"Okay, I'm good." You say, being that you were the DD tonight. Taehyung could enjoy himself if he wanted to [to an extent], but you definitely needed to be in tip top shape to be a good role model to those incoming art students tomorrow.

Throughout the night, the bar starts to get packed from end to end, you and your friends staying at the table and keeping to yourselves. You could tell Taehyung was crossing the line of pretty fucking drunk, which somewhat bothered you. You literally just told him to take it easy tonight - just for one night - so you could do what you need to do tomorrow.

"Hey." Jimin comes next to you, swinging his arm over your shoulder like he always does. "One more shot?" You give him a toothless smile. Ugh, why the hell not? Your man was drunk, and Jimin had only been helpful lately. You could at least return the favor by taking a shot with him.

"What are we drinking to?"

"You." He smiles. "Your shop. Your art. It'll only go up from here, yeah?" He rose his shot glass up before clinking it against yours and taking it to the neck.

"Mkay, that does it for me." You chuckle. "Thanks for the shot."

"No problem. You doing okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good." You looked at your watch. "Should probably get out of here soon, but Tae looks like he's enjoying himself. I don't wanna drag him out of here."

"We can just bring him home." You shake your head worriedly.

"I don't wanna leave without him." Jimin chuckles and looks over at Taehyung.

"He'll be okay and you'll be just fine tomorrow. Besides, you can make up all the bullshit in the world to tell the incoming students, they'll believe it either way."

"That's mean." You chuckle.

"Come. Let's dance!" Jimin says, leading the way to the empty space near the table. Everyone gets up to dance, Taehyung slipping himself behind you, whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

"Can I at least get one minute with my lady without Jimin interrupting?" He says in your ear.

"Taehyung." You flatly say, looking back at him.

"That's your mad face." He holds you tightly from behind as he sways you from side to side.

"I'm not mad."

"Mhm." He kisses the back of your head. "Why don't you have fun with me for a little? We'll go home after this." You couldn't even stay mad at him, with that fucking frustratingly handsome face of his. He was definitely drunk though, you could smell the whiskey lingering on his breath as he danced with you for a bit. You let him be, just so you wouldn't trigger anything within drunk Taehyung. Everyone around you was having a good time, the feeling of nostalgia hitting you pretty hard. You missed the days where you could get together and go to parties after a long week of school. Or, when you would tease the fuck out of Taehyung as his fuckbuddy during parties, or at the clubs. You know, before graduation and responsibilities happened.

But as one hour turned into two, and two turned into three, you found yourself getting restless. It was nearing 2AM and you had to be at the school by 8am - even earlier just to set your table up. You made your way to the bathroom, hoping Tae would get the point and start getting himself ready to leave.

Right.

Once you were out the bathroom, he'd realize you had been gone for a little and start saying his goodbye's. He'd realize time got to the best of him. Right?

"It's a fucking good time tonight!" Jimin tells Namjoon, laughing with him as he watches Joon act a fool with his dance moves.

"I'm sure it is, since you've been in Y/N's space the entire night." Taehyung says it jokingly, but he doesn't realize it only comes off that way in his head. Jimin furrows his brows at him, his high quickly dying with Taehyung's unnecessary comment.

"Don't start with all that. Not tonight. Everyone's having a good time--"

"Or what, Jimin?" Taehyung chuckles like the petty ass he can be. "You know it's true. Don't you think it's a little disrespectful to be crossing boundaries?"

"Hey, let's step back for a bit." Jungkook lightly tugs on Taehyung's arm as he hears the conversation going south quickly. But Taehyung breaks from his grip, stepping forward towards Jimin.

"You really think I would do that to you?"

"Haven't you already? Swinging your arms around her and shit, being all angelic--"

"Tae, come on. That's enough. Don't." Namjoon steps in the middle. "Let's go outside to get some air."

"You really wanna make me look that bad in front of my own girl?" Jimin lightly pushes him away, Taehyung getting too into his space.

"Enough." Namjoon shakes his head, aggressively stepping in the way to create distance. Taehyung shakes his head and walks off, the rest of the group watching as he walks. You finish off in the bathroom, assuming Tae was already getting ready to go. However, you realize your assumption of leaving by the time you're back is absolutely incorrect because when you get to the table, Taehyung is nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Tae?" Kook looks at you frazzled, before his eyes begin to pan the room again.

"Look, don't freak out, but him and Jimin just got into it and he walked off."

"What the hell do you mean they got into it and he walked off?"

"It's nothing, Tae is just drunk—" Kook squeezes your wrist and shakes his head.

"No, it's not just nothing because you and I both know how he's been feeling lately." You run your hand through your hair. "What did he say?"

"He just got into it about Jimin getting close to you lately, and how he felt like he was disrespecting boundaries." You sigh heavily.

"Fuck."

"We have an issue." Namjoon comes back from out of the blue. "He's not around."

"What do you mean?! Where did he go?" You run your hand through your hair.

"Okay, let's not panic." Jungkook tries to relax you. "Let me go check the bathrooms." Namjoon nods as he continues to look around the room.

"Please? We should get home." He nods to you before he's off to check for Tae in the bathroom. You stand near the table awkwardly, worry filling you quickly the more time passes.

"Hey, you okay? What can I do?" Hobi squeezes your arm, his face flushed with a red tint from how tipsy he is. You give him a small, reassuring smile and nod to try and keep calm.

"I honestly don't know anymore, but I'll be good. I think. We're just gonna look for him and head home."

"Is Kookie looking in the bathroom?" You nod. At this point, you catch a glimpse of Jungkook coming back alone.

"Jungkook?"

"I'm sorry, I couldn't find him in there. I swear I tried."

"So, where the hell is he?" Jungkook shrugs.

"Lets check around again. I won't leave until we find him."

"Have you tried to call him?" You had already beaten Yoongi's question, calling Taehyung's phone only to see his phone vibrating and ringing on the fucking table. "Hm, okay. Maybe not."

"Fuck." You snatch Taehyung's phone from the table. "Is he serious right now? It's about to be 2:30AM. How the fuck can he get lost at this time?"

"Y/N just go home, we'll find him and bring him home." Jimin says, coming back from roaming around the place.

"No, I'm not leaving here without him."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen." He says, looking at you in the eye. Although he was pretty fucking pissed, he couldn't help but worry about him either. No matter what, that was still his bestfriend. He didn't want anything to happen to him.

"It's not your fault."

"We need to check around the neighborhood." Jungkook suddenly comes back and grabs your arm. You follow him, Yoongi, Hobi, Namjoon and Jimin outside of the bar, the cold hitting your skin harshly.

"Let's split." Namjoon says. Jimin and Hobi split, Namjoon and Yoongi sticking together to go down a different path. You kept yourself close to Jungkook, knowing there were all sorts of drunk ass men out at this hour and you weren't helping wearing a tiny ass skirt and a deep cut shirt.

"Cutiepie, let me come holla!" A dude yells as he tries to swing his arm around your waist. Jungkook easily pushes him off, glaring at him.

"Back the fuck up." He spits out, your bestfriend coming to your rescue amongst the sea of men you're encountering on the sidewalk right now. He throws his jacket over your shoulders, hoping to shield you from them and the cold. "Your outfit." Jungkook frowns, a little worried.

"I mean, I didn't expect to lose Tae tonight." Once you had gotten to a quieter part of the street, you come from behind to walk beside him. "Where the hell could he have gone?" You whine. You're more worried for his safety and wellbeing right now more than anything and all you wanted to do was find him and bring him home, even though you were slightly worrying about yourself and how things would go tomorrow. You could give him an earful later. It could wait.

"He couldn't have gone far." You both continue down the street, heading towards your car, hoping he may be around the area. Jimin calls to check in, saying him and Hobi hadn't caught sight of him yet, and the same thing goes for Yoongi and Joon. You almost want to cry when you don't see Taehyung near your car, but Jungkook ends up walking further down towards the park near your parking spot. "Y/N! Here!" He calls out, running towards an individual slumped over on their knees on a bench. "Taehyungie?" Jungkook sits next to him and shakes him a bit.

"Shit dude, I just kept walking then I suddenly had no idea where I was at." He drunkily says as you sit next to him and sigh heavily.

"No one said you had to do that, Tae."

"I just needed some air."

"Yeah and look where that got you, it's close to 3AM." You respond, irritated.

"Y/N." Jungkook says softly, shaking his head at you as if he were signaling for you to quit with your attitude. "Let's go back to the car." Jungkook watches him stand up and wobble a bit, but eases up when he realizes Taehyung is capable of walking himself to the car. You three get back safely, letting the others know that you had found him before driving Jungkook back towards the club so he can meet with everyone else. You quickly thank him for his support before driving off to head home.

The car is incredibly cold, and silent.

"Love, I'm sorry. I just needed air and got lost." He breaks the silence.

"I see that." You say softly as you drive home, keeping your eyes glued to the road in front of you.

3:23AM.

"Please don't be mad." He gives your thigh gentle squeeze. "I just got a little into my head tonight." You sighed, gently removing his hand from your thigh.

"Taehyung, I'm your fiancé, I'm doing this with you and only you. Do you even understand how worried I was? You just walked off, without your phone. Without saying anything to me. Just cause you got in your head for no reason."

"I'm sorry." He repeats at a whisper. You don't say anything else for the rest of the drive home. You silently park the car and head to the apartment, Taehyung sluggishly following behind you. He knows you're bothered, knowing it's closing to 3:30AM and you had an early morning. Honestly, he didn't realize how drunk he was until he had gotten himself into that argument with Jimin then got lost, especially without his phone. The fact that he had made you worry and stress like that made him feel terrible, especially after these past few days. You could have easily left, but you didn't leave without him even if it was this late. He instantly just wanted to cuddle you and tell you how sorry he was.

You quietly get ready for bed and line your things up by the door, just so it would be an easy quick and grab as you head out in the morning. You slip yourself into the sheets, Taehyung following shortly after he gets himself ready for bed. He shuts off all the lights and grabs himself a water bottle to sit by his nightstand before slipping in next to you.

"I love you." He whispers against your ear, wrapping his arms around you. But you don't respond. He peeks over to see your eyes shut, silently sighing to himself as he nuzzled his head against the nape of your neck. He knows you aren't fast asleep yet, and it hurts him that you hadn't said it back. You both just knew exactly how to love each other well, but also push each other's buttons. But, maybe, it was true - he was just fucking up left and right lately. Enough for you to go to bed without saying 'I love you' back.

undefined

'cause baby if i find a way, i'm sure of it, this love won't stray; just give me a chance to say i love you, and i need you. now are you here to stay, or fade away like every other day? you're the reason that i lie awake

track two: 3AM - finding hope

[jjmaybanksbaby]

Where It Leads (Rafe Cameron)

Summer IV

Part 07: Crashing Down

series masterlist | previous part

summary: A jarring family emergency forces you to consider the future of your relationship with Rafe Cameron.

a/n: I'm a little bit emotional about this series ending because I've had so much fun writing it! Enjoy the last part and, as always, please come share your reactions with me in my inbox. Okay, that's all from me!

word count: 2.1k words

Rafe Cameron knew how to text. He was somehow witty, charming, and hilarious all in less characters than a single tweet. Texting with most boys was like talking to a brick wall: single-syllable answers, unironic uses of punctuation, asking “What are you wearing?” before even listening to how your day went. Though, to be fair, Rafe had asked that same question a few times, which always earned him a sarcastic answer in return. Well, except for that one time.

You’d been forced to spill the beans about your dreamy summer romance to Alice and Kensie after one of Rafe’s funnier texts almost made you pee yourself laughing at the lunch table.

“Oh, so he’s a stud muffin,” Alice announced, peering over Kenzie’s shoulder at the photo on your phone.

“Please god don’t call anyone a stud muffin ever again Al,” Kenzie replied.

“What? The 80s are like making a comeback.”

“Yeah, not that,” you countered and Alice huffed.

“He’s totally hot though,” Kenzie said, handing the phone back to you. “And I kinda hate you for not telling us about him.”

You looked down at the picture. Rafe was kissing your check while you grinned up at the camera, the golden hour lighting made the whole thing look rather enchanting. It was your favorite picture of you and him.

“Oh shit,” Kenzie said causing you to look up from the phone. “You’re like in love in love with him.”

“What? No,” you protested. Yes, your brain corrected.

Kenzie glanced over at Alice for backup.

“Besides, I wasn’t hiding him. I just didn’t know if there was anything there to...tell,” you finished.

“I wish I had a handsome summer fling with spectacular cheekbones,” Alice sighed.

“Don’t let your boyfriend hear you saying that.” Kenzie chucked a fry off her tray at Alice who dodged it expertly.

“Oh, please. Matty knows I would dump his ass for someone who looks like a young Chuck Bass any day of the week. Gimme your phone. I wanna see the photos again y/n.”

“I seriously don’t know how you and Matthew have been together for two years,” Kenzie replied.

“Are you kidding? They’re practically made for each other,” you added.

“The phone, please,” Alice interjected. “I wanna thirst over your mans while my boyfriend is sucking up to his English teacher so she doesn’t fail him. Of course, I told him he needed to actually read Wuthering Heights and not just sparknotes it. But did he listen? No. I picked a real winner y’all,” she finished, taking the phone from your outstretched hands. “You sure Rafe doesn’t have any brothers? Not even like a half-step brother?”

So yeah, going great. Against the odds of three thousand miles, the whole thing was somehow working. Long-distance friends with benefits? Check. Well, except for those moments when that nagging feeling in your stomach came back and you’d start overthinking everything. His texts would sit, unread in your phone for days or even a whole week, slowly sinking to the bottom of your messages.

Then came the call from the Kildare Country Hospital in the early hours of a foggy April morning. You should have gone to sleep hours ago but were still up, desperately trying to cram Maria’s lines into your brain while also texting Rafe. The Sound of Music opened in three weeks and your director had already chewed you out twice for not being off-book, something about being an upperclassman and the lead, and what kind of an example were you setting for the rest of the program. Big speeches were kind of your director's thing, you learned to just ride them out.

Around 1 a.m. your phone ran with an incoming FaceTime call from Rafe. You pressed the green acccept button, a smile spread across your face as Rafe’s own filled the screen.

“Hey Broadway Star.”

“Hi Rafe.” The dim lighting of his bedroom made his feature especially striking. “What are you still doing up?”

“Can’t sleep. Plus you’re up too so. How’s the memorizing going?”

“Shitty,” you replied, closing your binder with a sigh. “I’m too tired to do anymore of it tonight anyway.”

“You know, I was thinking I could come to Oregon for your opening night?”

“Really?” The possibility of Rafe sitting in the audience made your heart race.

“Yeah, why not? I’ll ask Ward if I can borrow the plane that weekend and I bet Sarah’ll want to come too. I wanna see my girl kill it. I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Rafe. You know my friends think you’re hot.”

“Oh, do they?” Rafe replied, rolling over onto his back in his bed.

“Don’t let it get to your head, Cameron.”

The home phone ran but you ignored it, much more invested in your conversation with Rafe. The second time the hospital left a message. Your Nonna’s heart had given out. The prognosis wasn’t good. She had barely any time left.

Your heart dropped as the words echoed over the speaker of the answering machine.

“Rafe,” you said, cutting him off momentarily. “I gotta go. I’ll call you back later. I gotta-” you ended the call before Rafe even had the chance to respond. You dropped your phone on the kitchen table, dashing up the stairs to your parents’ bedroom. Your father was booking a flight for your mother back to the Outer Banks minutes later.

The end had come so quickly, so unexpectedly. It was almost like that made it harder. There'd been just enough time for your mom and uncle to get to the Outer Banks, sitting on each side of your Nonna as her final breaths passed through her lungs. Now, everyone was there to say goodbye one last time. Uncle Austin and his fiancé. Your mom and dad. Both your siblings. The entire population of Figure Eight.

☼☼☼

Rain drizzled down from the dark, gray clouds looming overhead. It was as if Mother Nature was mourning your Nonna too, hiding the sunshine away.

Three baby ducks followed their mama into the man-made pond at the edge of the cemetery. You watched their tiny feet kick up small waves disturbing the peaceful water and the tears silently slipped down your face.

The cars were waiting to take you back to your Nonna's house for the wake. The same house with the for-sale sign now stuck in the front yard. The for-sale sign with Rose's patronizing grin that you were starting to really hate. Your dad had handled that. Listing the house. He'd handled most of the funeral arrangement's actually because your mother had been too sunken into her grief to make any decision. Sending out the invitations, picking out your Nonna's casket, choosing the flowers. Your mother clung to him during the entire funeral, weeping into his shoulder.

“Y/n?” Rafe's voice called out from behind you and you turned to see him walked toward you. He’d stood at the back of the church with his family during the funeral. You had longed for him to be sitting in the first pew next to you, to have had his hand to hold onto to ground you, but it hardly would have been appropriate. Your Nonna would have sooner risen from the dead than have had a Cameron front row at her funeral.

As soon as he was close enough, Rafe reached for you, pulling your body tight into him. Your head landed on his chest and the sobs came moments later. God, he always smelled the same. He just let you cry, holding you close, smoothing his hand over your hair.

“I know you’re selling your grandma’s house but I was thinking you could stay with me for the summer," he said as your tears began to slow. It was hard to imagine that you wouldn't return to the Outer Banks once school let out. It was the first week of May already and you could feel the tourist-attracting town waking up. But selling the house just made more sense. Your older sister was already living her life in New York, a real adult life. Next summer, you'd be moving out too, headed to college. The house would sit empty for eight months out of the year, your family couldn't keep it and your uncle certainly didn’t want it. Selling it just had to happen.

You stepped back, slipping out of his embrace. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Rafe.”

“Why not?”

“Cause we’re like Romeo and Juliet.”

“I copied Cleo’s notes for that unit," he joked, trying to lighten to damp mood. “Plus I was never a fan of Leo DiCaprio so I didn’t finish the movie either.”

“It means we’re not supposed to be together, you and me. And whenever we try, the universe rips us apart. We hurt each other.”

Rafe shifted awkwardly on his feet, clearly wanting to reach for you again but stopping himself from doing it. “But I can't lose you.”

You reached your hand out, brushing away a strand of hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. “Oh Rafe, don’t you get it? You never really had me.” You stood up onto your tiptoes to kiss him just like you had the first time three years ago. Rafe barely parted his lips, kissing you back gently. Your hand cupped his face, your thump stroking over his cheek. It was a goodbye. Both of you knew it. It was an ending and this was your closure. You pulled away, your hand falling away from his face.

You couldn’t bring yourself to say the actual words. Your eyes fell to the ground. You needed to walk away now. You side-stepped Rafe but he grabbed your waist, turning you back around to face him.

“So that’s it? You’re not even gonna try to fight for us?”

“What even is there to fight for, Rafe? I’ve been fighting for us for the past four years. If we were supposed to be together that car wouldn’t have crashed into ours, I wouldn’t have fallen for Evan when I did, we wouldn’t be having this conversation at my Nonna’s funeral. What? Are we supposed to do long distance for all of college? I hardly know who I am right now. I have no idea who I’ll be in the next four years. Our future selves might not even like each other. I’m not gonna wait around for you Rafe and I would never ask you to do that for me.” You twirled the small, star charm between your fingers, a nervous habit you'd developed over the past year. His eyes dropped down to your neck momentarily and his adam's apple visibly bobbing as he swallowed his next weeks.

“You were it for me, you know. I tried to give a fuck about anyone else but I couldn’t get your gorgeous, stupid face out of my mind. I only wanted you.” Rafe paused gauging your reaction “I was falling in love with you.”

Your eyes wandered over his stoic expression. “The feeling was mutual, Rafe Cameron.”

He dropped your wrist but you both stood, not moving or saying anything. “Do you wanna walk me back to the car?”

“Yeah.” He reached for your hand, interlocking your fingers. Your other hand held onto his bicep so you walked together through the graveyard back to the parking lot.

The moment felt precious and delicate, like the fragile china your Nonna used to collect. You wondered what would happen to all that china.

Rafe placed a chaste kiss on your lips before opening the door of the car.

“I’ll miss you,” you said, the words hanging in the air meaning so much.

“Me too,” Rafe agreed.

You wanted one more kiss, one more passionate declaration of how much this all had meant but that would make leaving Rafe so much more impossible.

You climbed into the car, dropping Rafe’s hand in the process.

“See you around Cameron.” You knew it wouldn’t happen but it felt better than a goodbye.

He smiled back. “Maybe so.”

Perhaps Rafe was right and you’d both end up at a small liberal arts college in California taking the same second-year Econ class with a professor who always smelled like weed. Perhaps the stars would align and two of you would realize the universe wasn’t trying to keep you apart. It was just waiting for the right moment to show you that the love you had for each other was the soulmates, forever and ever kind of love. Perhaps you would get married and Sarah would be your maid of honor, of course. You’d buy back your Nonna’s house to raise your troubling-making kids in. Perhaps, you would find your way back and wake up each day and choose each other again and again.

Or perhaps, he'd always be your right-person-wrong-time. And, in the end, the passing days will steal away your memories of the blue-eyed boy from the Outer Banks.

taglist! @oreoenthusiast13

[whump-a-la-mode]

Nemesis - Part 2

I’m so glad that you guys are enjoying this new series! Work was pretty hectic for me today, but here is the next part, albeit a little late.

For the last vote, A won out, meaning that Hero is going to attempt to a more direct approach to aiding Villain. Though, the things they see in this part may just change their mind.

CW//Shapeshifting, cartoon violence, insults, being called ‘worthless,’ interventions, residential medical facilities, flashbacks

The blow came out of nowhere.

It was a rhetorical statement as much as it was a completely literal one. That didn’t matter in the moment, however-- the fist had very much struck Hero in the back of their head, causing them to stumble forwards.

Before them, their assailant rematerialized from thin air, gasping with a smirk upon their face. They blew on their knuckles, as if blowing smoke from a firearm’s muzzle. Stupid, arrogant kid.

“Come on!” The villain taunted. “I thought you were supposed to be good.”

Hero didn’t bother to transform before they leapt; they did that mid-air, curled fingers turning into canine claws before them. Said claws were aimed truly at the villain a few feet ahead, directed at their panicked expression.

Suddenly, Hero felt to be on the edge of a roof. Facing a completely different foe.

Throwing themself to the ground was not a conscious choice, but it was the action that they took.

The hero in lupine shape skidded to the ground, head spinning as it struck concrete. By the time they were back to all four paws, their opponent was long gone. In their wake, the door slammed closed.

Why did they...

No. This villain looked nothing like them. They shook their head, turning back to human form in order to begin tearing out the door.

The laboratory was a nightmare to navigate. White walls stretched far further than they had any right to, all looking terribly identical. Had it been any other situation, Hero would have found themself hopelessly lost.

But they could make a pretty good guess where their target had run off to. It was probably the hall where the shouting and banging was emanating from.

Hero skidded about a corner, forgetting momentarily that in human form they lacked dewclaws, causing them nearly to fall. They did not, however, turning the corner and stopping before they collided with the active battle.

Leader swore loudly as they failed to land a blow on the villain. However, their attacker missed in turn, putting themself in such a position that allowed Teammate to grab them from behind.

The villain yelled and struggled. Almost as if they’d just fallen from the roof of a building, and were now screaming, fighting back against those trying to hold them down.

Hero was on a collision course with Teammate before they so much as realized it. Halfway through the movement, their body turned from human to that of a far more formidable wildcat, easily sending their friend sprawling on the white tile. In turn, the villain their friend had been restraining freed themself.

Leader was too stunned, in the moment, to react. By the time everyone in the corridor had returned to their senses, their opponent had long since dematerialized and left.

Leaving only the three Heroes in the hallway. Two heads turned to stare at the third.

Hero’s feline ears turned back a moment, an expression that was translated to flushing as they returned to human form. Teammate pried themself off the floor, brushing dust from their uniform.

“Sorry.” Hero dipped their head.

“Why the hell did you do that?” Leader snapped. In comparison to the quiet building, it sounded like a gong being struck. “We almost had them!”

“I was, uh, trying to get them on the ground.”

“I had it handled.” Teammate commented in a far calmer tone of voice. “I don’t think we have any chance of catching up to them now, though.”

“No. Probably not. No thanks to someone.” Leader shook their head. “We were so damn close.”

“And they got the medicines too.” Teammate added.

“They what?”

“The medicines?”

“I thought those were secured.”

“Well... They were. And then they took them.”

“Oh my god, you two are stupid.” Leader hissed through gritted teeth. “Hero, what happened in the other room? I thought you had them pinned.”

“They got away.”

“You two are so stupid. I asked for a team, and this is what I get... Worthless. Well, it’s a lost cause, now. Let’s get back to the car.”

Hero and Teammate hung their heads, but weren’t about to argue. They began their walk out of the building in silence, a silence that continued until they had traversed a few flights of stairs. That was when Leader spoke up, once again, some of the most acute venom seeming to have left their voice.

“Hero... You seem nervous.”

“I’m not.”

“I know you can fight better than what I just saw. I want to know why.”

“I guess... I guess I’m not sure.”

“Are you feeling alright?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

No. Of course they weren’t sure, because it was a lie. The night prior, after their diner meeting with Hacker, they had not succeeded in getting a single second of sleep. Now, they felt like their legs-- however many they happened to have at the moment-- were made of jello.

“I’m sure. I just need some sleep.”

“And then you’ll be back to normal?”

“Yes.”

“Good. I need my best fighter back in shape. Villains don’t catch themselves, y’know.”

Except, sometimes, they did. Sometimes they tripped, right off the edge of a roof. And, sometimes, their fall haunted the dreams of the hero who had caused it.

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The dorms at HQ were a lot of things. They were cramped, and cluttered, and the thermostats never seemed to work quite right. All of that, though, was normal. A life spent living in apartments and dorms had gotten Hero plenty used to making themself comfortable in small quarters.

The bad thing about them was that, living in an enclosed space with the same people for years on end, it became just about impossible to pretend they weren’t home when someone knocked on the door.

That didn’t mean they didn’t try every single time, however.

Hero nestled themself further under the blankets that covered them, burying their head beneath their pillow in an attempt to block out the incessant knocking. Eventually, they gave up, shouting back:

“Hero isn’t home. You can’t come in.”

“If Hero isn’t home how are they talking to me?” Came Teammate’s joking cadence.

“This is a recording. Please come back later or not at all.”

“Well, can I at least come in and talk to a recording of Hero?”

“Fine.”

Hero rolled over, staring at the ceiling a moment before getting off the bed to let their friend inside. They were smiling, which was automatically a red flag.

Teammate found themself a seat on the couch shoved into the corner of the dorm, while Hero returned to their bed, collapsing dramatically onto their back.

“I have a feeling that you know why I’m here.” Teammate started, in that weird voice they used when trying to calm down a civilian.

“What are you, my therapist?”

“No. But I am worried about you.”

“I told Leader already. I’m just tired.”

“Is that why you tackled me out of nowhere?”

“I was trying to tackle the villain.”

“While I was already holding them?”

“Can you just drop it? I’m fine. I just need to go to bed early tonight.”

“it’s not just today, though. You’ve been acting weird all week. Maybe longer.”

“Have not.”

“When you froze up on that roof?”

“Nope.”

“When you pretended to be sick so you didn’t have to go to that ceremony at the university?”

“Had a cold.”

“When you just let a villain punch you in the face?”

“I- Why do you have to be right all the time?”

“Not all the time. But I think everyone has been getting a bit worried about you. You haven’t been acting yourself... We just want to help. Are you sick? You can be honest with me.”

“It’s not that. I’m fine. Physically, I’m fine. So I should be fine and dandy.”

Teammate nodded.

“The anniversary.”

“You remembered?”

“They had it on the news. Though I have a feeling you didn’t need any help remembering.”

“No.”

“How many days has it been, now?”

“374.”

“Nine days since the anniversary of Villain’s capture. Nine days you’ve been acting weird. That’s an awfully interesting coincidence.”

“I’m worried about them.” Hero dipped their head. “I can’t- I can hardly sleep.”

“You’re worried about Villain?”

“Well- I’m not worried about them. Of course I’m not worried about them, they’re a villain. But...”

“But?”

“It’s been over a year, and there’s been no news. You’d think they’d be like, fighting back, or trying to escape, or something.”

“Is that what you’re worried about, them escaping?”

How were they supposed to escape when they couldn’t even open their eyes?

“I guess so, yeah. It doesn’t seem right for them to be so docile like that.”

“The rehabbers are very good.”

“I know they are. But Villain is... they’re the worst! When they were captured the city threw a parade! They’ve hurt so many people. And now they’re just gone.”

“You think they’re planning something?”

“I guess.”

“Well... why don’t you go see them?”

“What?”

“It’s not like they’re being held on some secret Alcatraz. The rehab place is just across the city. They’ll probably let you in if you just go up and ask.”

“You really think that would work?”

“Why not? Villain is probably just going to like, spit on you or something, but if it’s worrying you this much, just go see them. You’ll see that they’re under control, and then maybe you won’t tackle me anymore?”

“I’ll try not to.” Hero chuckled. “You think that’s gonna work?”

“It’s worth a try. Besides, maybe Villain will be better, this time. Those rehabbers are crazy good at their jobs. I don’t think a single villain has come out of their still being, like, evil. They have a one hundred percent success rate, as far as I know.”

Almost one hundred percent.

Almost.

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This was stupid.

It was the only thing Hero could think about, sitting there in the parking lot, staring at the building with its cute little picket fence and brightly-colored exterior.

It was a stupid plan. They had spent so long the night prior, overthinking the few brief words they had exchanged with Hacker.

Villain needed to leave that place.

At the very least, they needed to... Hero didn’t know what they needed. They needed to be contained, certainly. They were dangerous. Too dangerous to be free. But they at least deserved to be awake.

Did they?

Yes. Of course they did. If asked, Hero was unsure if they could truly defend their position on the matter, but they knew that Villain did not deserve to be in the state that they currently suffered. It wasn’t right.

That wit. That tongue. Those sharp, intelligent eyes.

Villain did not deserve to be drowned in sedatives until they could no longer remember their own name.

It did not matter where they went. Where they were contained. So long as they were allowed to be awake. Allowed to live.

They at least deserved that much.

But... Hero had no power over such things. Every possible plan they had concocted fell apart as soon as they tried to think it through. Certainly, despite its cutesy exterior, this building was heavily guarded. Even if they did manage to get Villain out of the facility, where would they take them? Hell, as soon as they were out, Villain would probably tear their throat out!

They should have just gone right back to the HQ and forgotten the whole affair. But that image of their foe, dead to the world, would not leave their mind. It was burned into their eyelids. They saw it when they blinked.

Hero had no plan. But, they had a car, and a near complete lack of self restraint.

They had no intention of going in guns blazing. They’d be taken out in seconds, and would probably land in the very same facility, being “rehabilitated.” But, if they could at least get in, then that was a significant hurdle leapt.

And they had the perfect plan to achieve that step.

Hero’s hadn’t even realized just how white their knuckles had grown from having gripped the steering wheel with such force for so long. Their fingers ached as they removed them from the wheel, exiting the vehicle.

For a moment, they stood there.

The only sort of barrier between the facility and the outside world was a white picket fence, only a few feet in height. A moderately athletic cat could jump it. A villain would have no difficulty.

Beyond the fence, the building looked almost like any medical clinic. Decorative windchimes hung from the awning overtop the entrance, which was little more than a pair of glass doors. There wasn’t even a visible lock. From either side of the main part of the structure, wings of patient rooms stretched, their windows decorated with childish crafts made of construction paper and glue.

It looked more like a civilian hospital than something holding the city’s most dangerous criminals.

Hero hated just how nervous they felt, opening the gate to the picket fence and approaching the front door. Their suspicions were correct-- the doors were unlocked, and a bell above them even chimed as they were opened.

The lobby beyond was small, consisting of only a single desk, at which a lab-coated person typed on a computer. As Hero entered, they looked up. Their eyes widened.

“Hero?” Their mouth was almost agape. “I didn’t think we were expecting a visit from you.”

“Sorry about that. It’s kind of a more... spur of the moment thing.”

“Oh? How can we help you?”

Hero approached the desk, trying to hide the way their finger refused to stop twitching.

“I...” Their shoulders slumped. They weren’t an actor by any means, but they had gotten plenty of practice in lying to Leader about how long they had spent in the gym. “A bit over a week ago, it was the one year anniversary of Villain’s capture.”

“Was it? Time flies, I suppose.”

“I was wondering if I could see them.”

“Oh? Any particular reason?”

“I’m just a little... suspicious. I want to make sure they’re doing alright. That they aren’t planning anything.”

“Hm... Well, I can understand your concern, but I assure you that Villain has been a model patient.”

“Even so... Can I see them?”

Hero could see the tips of the Labcoat’s ears growing red.

“Let me talk to the head doctor.” They stood from their desk, notably turning off their computer as they did so. “I’ll be back in just a moment.”

“No need.”

At the back of the small lobby area, a door opened, revealing a man wearing a pair of blue scrubs and a warm smile.

“I’m right here, Labcoat. Is there something you need- Oh my goodness, Hero in the flesh! For what do we get the honor?”

“Um-”

“They want to see Villain.”

That dropped Head Doctor’s smile pretty quick.

“I see.” They nodded, nearing the desk. “Wanting to visit the old nemesis, hm?”

“I just want to make sure they’re doing alright. That they aren’t... planning anything.”

Head Doctor frowned a moment, before sighing.

“I’m sorry, Hero. And to think you came all this way. But I’m going to have to say no. You see, Villain has had a hard day, today. Usually they’re very well-behaved, but they had some trouble today. I don’t think it would be the best idea to rile them up like that, right now. I’m terribly sorry.”

Hero put their hand in their pocket, ensuring that the doctors could not see as they balled it into a fist.

“I understand.” They nodded, trying their best not to grit their teeth. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s terribly unfortunate. If you had just come another day... But I don’t want to waste your time entirely. And it’s such a terribly long drive across town.” Again, Head Doctor’s countenance was brightened by a grin. “You won’t be able to see your nemesis today, but how about a tour? You can speak to our other patients, if you would like. They’re eating lunch right about now.”

A tour.

Hero could work with that.

“That would be great. Are you sure it’s... Are you sure it’s safe? Not that I’m worried or anything, but.”

“Of course it’s safe. It’s always safe, here. Come on. I’m sure everyone will be delighted to see you.”

Yeah. Delighted.

Head Doctor’s blue scrubs rippled under the bright florescents as they turned, heading back towards that door at the rear of the room. It felt almost too good to be true, but Hero wasted no time in following suit.

This door, unlike the others, was metal, and required a key to be passed through. It opened with a rather heavy creak, and clicked solidly as it closed behind Hero. They almost jumped.

If they were being quite honest, they had never really thought about where villains went after they were locked up. Like a hunting dog, they had little care where their prey ended up, only that they retrieved it. If they had to guess where their fallen foes ended up, they would have likely described a well-secured concrete building, complete with snipers and barbed wire.

Not a cute little hospital ward.

The door from the lobby opened into a wide-open, carpeted space, decorated by several sofas and a television, alongside a few well-stocked bookshelves. Beyond it, three hallways sprouted-- one to the front, and one to the left or the right.

Every door was wood.

“We call this the commons.” Head Doctor explained with a smile. “A sort of... hang out space. And those two halls lead to the patients rooms. Not much to see there.”

In an awfully hurried manner, they lead Hero forwards, into the hallway that led straight out from the commons. It was wide, with several doors on either side. Yet, not a single window.

“This is where me and my colleagues work, most of the the time. It’s mostly offices for our therapists. And that one, there, is my office.”

During the whole explanation, they did not stop walking forwards. They only did so at the end of the hallway, where a door was embedded.

“Um... This is the dining hall, just past this door. Everyone is eating lunch right now. I assure you that it’s perfectly safe, but I understand if you don’t want to see some of your, um, old foes.”

“It’s fine.” Hero did their best to smile. “Is Villain in there?”

“No. They decided to eat lunch in their room today.” Head Doctor chimed, opening the door. From behind it, there was no sound.

Nothing that Head Doctor said had been untrue. The dining hall was clean, immaculately so, scattered with plastic tables and chairs, both painted to look as though they were made of wood. Each table only sat two people, and most of them were full.

Full of the city’s worst. Villains who had hurt people, who had killed dozens.

They seemed happy enough, at least based upon the expressions on their faces. It was just about as typical as a cafeteria during mealtime could get.

Except for the quiet.

Even with the two dozen or so people sitting and eating, not a single one spoke. Each and every one of them seemed intent on sitting and eating the food before them. 

Hero scanned the room a moment, gaze eventually setting upon one of the few tables with an empty chair. They didn't recognize the villain very well. They may have had ice-related powers, or something of the like. But they had fought, at least once. And Hero didn’t remember them being that horrible.

It was something. It was the best they were going to get.

“Head Doctor?” They spoke up.

“Yes, Hero?”

“There’s someone else here, I want to speak to.” They gestured towards the villain, sitting alone. Staring at their food. Engrossed. “We used to, um, we fought a lot. I want to talk to them.”

“Oh? Well, that’s just fine by me. It’s always good to reconcile. They’re a model patient. Do you want anything to eat?”

“No thank you.”

“Alright, then. I’ll be back at the end of lunch, if that sounds alright?”

“That’s just fine.”

“Splendid! I will see you then, Hero.”

Hero ducked their head in agreement, waiting until the doctor had left before approaching the table. They moved slowly, taking a seat across from the villain that they couldn’t so much as remember the name of. Even as they sat down, the person across from the table did not so much as bat an eye.

They only did so when Hero spoke up:

“Um, hello.”

It was oddly slow, the way in which the villain raised their head. They placed down their fork gingerly, smiling.

“Hello, Hero. I haven’t seen you in quite some time.”

“Uh, you neither. How are you doing?”

“I am doing just fine, Hero.” It was terribly stilted, the way in which they spoke, as though they had to carefully consider each word. “How are you doing?”

“Fine.”

“Did you come here to visit me?”

“Um, not you specifically. I came here to visit Villain.”

The edges of the villain’s smile flickered a moment, as if continuing to keep them upturned was quickly becoming a major effort.

“You should leave this place, Hero.” Even as they said it, their smile never fell. “It’s not worth it.”

Their hand gripped around the handle of their fork.

“Do you know where they are? Where Villain is?”

“Yes I do, Hero. I did not think you would care. It is you who put them here.”

“I didn’t do anything. Are they-” They looked around, expecting to see at least one guard, one nurse, one orderly. But the dining hall was barren of every person except villains. “Are they okay?”

“If I tell you that, I will end up like them. You do not want to be in this place, Hero. You should leave this place.”

“Um-” A single drop of sweat dripped down the side of their face, tracing their jawline. “I really suddenly need to use the bathroom.”

“It’s right there.” The villain raised a hand, pointing to a door labelled ‘16 - Restrooms′. “The bathroom is in room 43.”

Hero didn’t have to be given the hint twice.

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Thanks so much for reading! Just like last time, there are two options along with every part of this story. Alongside each options is a question, so that you guys can give more specific suggestions if you so wish. The option that receives the most votes will be the choice that our Hero makes! 

A.) Risk it all and attempt a prison break - Should Hero attempt to free the others, as well?

B.) Don’t take the risk. Leave and reconsider - Should Hero tell anyone what they saw?

[nameless-shrimp]

BEST FRIENDS TO LOVERS || SATORU GOJO

Request: i was wondering if i could request a best friend to lovers with gojo? completely up to you regarding if it’s a one shot or headcanon! i don’t have anything too specific besides that! maybe some angst to comfort bc i love to make my heart ache a little.

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x GN!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of sexual content (close friends to FWB to lovers).

Type: Headcanons / small one-shots

Notes: Nonnie, you love to make my heart warm with this. Writing Gojo Satoru... well, it is truly my specialty, hehehe. I hope you like this one! This is actually pretty bad in my opinion but I hope you like it nonetheless!

Satoru would consistently ask to get into phone calls with you whenever he had the free time to do so, and that even meant when both of you were students together at Jujutsu High. It was difficult having to have him cling onto you but you liked it deep down.

Satoru purposefully left missions early or avoided meeting with Yaga-sensei in order to take most of the time to train with you. It always led to him beating you and you scolding him for going too hard on you but without a doubt, he’d loved every bit of training and bickering you’d gnaw at him.

Most of the time, there was a lot of sexual tension between the both of you. Clearly, everyone saw it; Utahime found annoyance and disgust with it though she did make a bet with Suguru about whether you and Satoru would have slept yet.

The consistent flirting that Satoru would act upon you and the physical gestures of him throwing his arm over your shoulder and the tickles he’d give on the back of your neck was an obvious sign he was into you—or really, he just loved to annoy the shit out of you.

“You’re coming home early tonight, right? Let’s hang out or maybe I should sleepover.”

“For once in your damn life, Satoru, please be quiet.”

Satoru would take you out on trips—or well, you thought they were dates, but he said that both of you were simply hanging out. Sometimes it’d be a trip to the bakery and having bubble tea while both of you talk about your day or a drive through the city, which was peaceful.

It didn’t take long for you to realize that you were falling for your best friend. He was witty but charming all at once. You hated him yet you loved him as a close friend and you were falling in love with him now. The moment he looked at you and your hands almost touched while you were both gazing up at the stars as he talked about how exhausted he was being the strongest and all that, you were falling hard.

Truth be told, you loved his annoyance. It was too much, sometimes, but as the both of you got stronger—in reality, this meant to you getting a little bit stronger but he was always superior to you—and more mature as months went on, you had grown fond of his annoyance. The days where he didn’t pester you with text messages and phone calls since he’d be out on trips overseas or start teaching as a sensei for Jujutsu Tech made it a bit unbearable and lonely sometimes.

The more time that Satoru had to take care of for himself, he became bolder yet he managed to be so quiet at the same time. Sure, he always fooled around with you, maybe teasing you in front of Principal Yaga (which was embarrassing to have your old sensei and now principal watch these scenes unfold), but it always seemed as if he was hiding secrets.

Every time you asked him what was wrong and you always encouraged him to come to you, he’d do so, but it wasn’t long until both of you actually started sleeping with one another. And, yeah, he was really good in bed, but when time progressed, he became softer and gentler with his touches.

Whenever you asked him why it always seemed like he was hiding something, he’d tell you that you were overreacting and that you needed to not overthink things. But Satoru was your best friend for so long, and after all, it was difficult to not see right through your best friend.

When you explained to Satoru that you wanted to stop all of this curse exorcising and wanted to live a ‘normal life, he didn’t argue with you. Although, this made both of you a bit distant from each other. It was hard at first, but Satoru didn’t like the idea of Nanami consistently giving you the most company, even though you were both working together now.

There was a time where Satoru ignored you for a good amount of time. He didn’t answer your texts or even your phone calls, he didn’t mean to hurt you in this sense, though he found himself falling for you harder as well too. But he couldn’t ruin the friendship you both had; the strong connection you shared with him.

Satoru had to admit to himself that he loved the sex, yeah, but he loved being able to be around you. They were the only moments when he could have the option to kiss you, hug you tightly with so much affection in his heart, and talk about how beautiful you were even if it meant that you’d smack him on the face afterward because you were just always so playful and that’s how you were.

──── ⋅♡⋅ ────

It was difficult to maintain a close friendship with Satoru.

Not because he was outrageously witty and flamboyant with his high and mighty powers, but it was more so that you were falling hard for your best friend. Whom you had grown up together with at the same school; the same one who would knock you down during every bit of training that you’d get, and you’d scold him for offering such a weird demand since you knew every time he requested to train with you, Satoru would easily win every time.

When he became a teacher and you had recently quit Jujutsu Tech, you decided to work with one of his other friends, which was Nanami Kento. However, his job was absolutely draining, but it definitely beat the consistent outings of exorcising curses and you preferred to live a life as normal as possible without having to put yourself on the line.

During work, as of at that moment, your feelings were soaring at the sight of Satoru’s name popping up on his phone. Nanami consistently lectured you with the tough personality he had, claiming you could easily find someone more suitable for your tastes, but he always let it go.

“Enough being a child,” Nanami scolded you, eyes scanning through the newspaper in his hands. How could he find the old articles to be so fascinating? “Tell Satoru how you feel.”

“Or what?” You cocked a brow before taking a sip of your coffee. “You’ll tell him yourself?”

“I’m not in elementary school. Both of you are adults here, or at least, I thought,” he sighed, shaking his head. “I am tired of him texting me of your whereabouts. It has gotten to the point where I had to block his number but I couldn’t due to the higher ups’ and their needs of exorcising curses.”

“Sounds like a real bummer for you.”

“You seriously have no idea,” he responded, avoiding eye contact before turning a page of his newspaper. “Now tell him that you have feelings for him.”

“Nanami,” you sighed, placing your cup of coffee on the table in front of you. Both of you were on your lunch breaks, which ironically, most of the time you both decide to take it together so you wouldn’t feel too lonely. “You make it sound so easy.”

“You’re the one making it difficult.” He huffed.

“Come on,” you shook your head, placing your hands out in frustration. “How do I approach it?”

“Y/N, I am not going to answer that question since you already know the answer to it.”

“Nanami.”

“Lunch break is almost over,” Nanami quipped, checking his watch.

You blinked at him. “It has only been like ten minutes.”

“It’s mentally over for me,” Nanami spoke before standing up and making his way to the door.

You furrowed your eyebrows at the tall man who was casually making his exit from the conversation you were both sharing. “Hey—Nanami, you ass! I thought we were supposed to be helping each other!”

“Language, Y/N, we are working,” he shook his head before slamming the wooden door.

“We are on break!”

──── ⋅♡⋅ ────

Satoru continued to drag on this act where it became the usual of seeing each other, having casual small talk, have sex, and then he’d be off the next day. The idea of that strong friendship slowly became a ‘friends with benefits’, and then, it hurt you more than you imagined.

At one point, Satoru got lectured by Nanami over the phone about you and him being complete children and it was about time to confess his feelings—or vice versa, or really, both in this sense—because he couldn’t stand your constant worries at work. (Really though, Nanami just cared for you, and he was tired of seeing you sulk in pain).

So, finally, Satoru decided it was time to open up about how he felt.

When Satoru asked you to see him at his place or have him go over to yours, it didn’t take long for him to flash over to where you were and have both of you meet. It was difficult, seeing him the way that he was, and he looked lost in his eyes though they were hidden beneath the blindfold that he wore.

The night was still young, streetlights were flickering, and the wind was chilly. Both of you stared at each other in silence before both of you had decided to open your mouths at the same time and speak simultaneously.

“I need to tell you something.”

Both of you spoke, and before you knew it, you both let out a loud, boisterous laugh that echoed throughout the park that you met up Satoru. It was charming, it was an enjoyable moment and you felt your knees weakened at the thought of you having that small spark of connection together.

It made your heart flutter, but the time was now or never.

“So,” Satoru grinned, almost as if he grew a large amount of confidence not too long ago. “Shall I go first or should you?”

“I mean,” you gritted your teeth, fighting back the nervous ticks. (But you gave in and then fidgeted with your hands anyways. God, this was harder than expected). “I don’t know where to start.”

“Neither do I,” Satoru’s grin faded into a soft smile before he took a few steps closer to you.

His smile began to fade which made your heart drop quickly; there must’ve been something cold or terrible he had to say. The look Satoru made was not something you enjoyed seeing, and nonetheless, you were a subject to the expression on his face. Overall, this was difficult to witness, and this didn’t help the shakiness of your hands.

“What we’re doing…” his voice trailed off as he tilted his head. And—why do the cute gestures have to be so heartwarming in a serious atmosphere like this? It was illegal for him to act this way. Definitely.

“You mean… the sex?” You questioned; you knew the answer. Of course, you did. But you wanted to clarify anyways.

“I don’t think we can keep it going, Y/N.”

And—this was it. The moment of truth. You felt your face become heavy, and not the way that you’d hoped for. “I mean, I get it. We are all gonna be with someone and fall in love and well, yeah, you get it.”

“I don’t think you get it,” Satoru responded as he untied the back of his blindfold.

Within a matter of seconds, his blindfold fell to his hands and his bright, blue eyes were charming its way to your gaze. A smile grew on his face and he cupped his hands on your cheeks, letting his thumbs flutter over your blush.

“W-What do you mean?” You asked, suddenly forgetting how to breathe at his sudden touch.

“I like you a lot,” Satoru smiled. “I always have, ever since we were young and dumb and well, I guess we are still pretty young and du—”

You couldn’t help but flick his forehead for that, completely ruining the moment.

Satoru grunted, not minding that he completely turned off his Infinity for that. “Okay, okay. But Y/N, I like you. A lot. And I seriously do. I’ve fallen for you pretty fucking hard.”

You didn’t expect yourself to fall into his arms, inhaling the scent of his cologne and before he even had the chance to say something at your immediate reaction, you placed a kiss on his lips, feeling that strong connection build-up. It wasn’t so empty anymore; it had more sense to you to act this way once the feelings had suddenly been returned, and although, you hadn’t opened up about how you felt, the action said a lot more than it needed.

You felt him smile against the kiss and then to your surprise, he tightened his grip on you and held you up in the air, allowing yourself to laugh out loud like a happy child, and the audible sound coming out of your mouth was heartwarming to him. He missed hearing that laugh; only he could make you laugh so hard to the point where you knew you’d wanna hit him for being annoying yet you loved it at the same time. And—all in all, your heart couldn’t take anymore.

“I like you too,” you chuckled as he finally set you down and both of your foreheads met. “I like you a lot. I always have to.”

“How could you not?” Satoru cheekily grinned before you raised your hand up to smack him. “I—hey, am I wrong? I did have a feeling you have always liked me.”

You ended up smacking him anyways.

And, well, no. He wasn’t wrong.

[damienthepious]

this bitch a long one. this week’s other LKT offering! horny yearning via lyrically specific music.

heart beats best (the playlist)

[spotify] [the actual fic]

01. Showyourself - Montaigne // 02. Do I Wanna Know? - CHVRCHES // 03. Stay With Me - Better Love // 04. Crane Your Neck - Lady Lamb // 05. Bad Ideas - Tessa Violet // 06. No Face - Haley Heynderickx // 07. Monster - dodie // 08. Drive Slow - ADDIE // 09. The Thunder Answered Back - Gabby’s World // 10. Mezzanine - Lady Lamb // 11. The Moon Will Sing - The Crane Wives // 12. Company - Daisy the Great // 13. Distractions - Wild Painting // 14. R U Mine? - Ratwyfe // 15. Choices - To Kill A King // 16. 1996 - Wild Child // 17. Honeydew - Small Talks // 18. Lost - Liza Anne // 19. Waiting on a Ghost - Left at London // 20. Moon Song - Phoebe Bridgers // 21. Rearview - Beach Bunny // 22. Vacation Home - Whitehall // 23. You Are the Apple - Lady Lamb // 24. Baby No More (acoustic) - Anjimile // 25. Things We Never Say - Bad Bad Hat // 26. midnight love - girl in red // 27. Please You - Montaigne // 28. His Hands - Blegh // 29. Bottles - Little Image

[lyrics breakdown under the cut because i’m! a disaster. and this is a long ass playlist and i have thoughts about every single song. i think i was kidding myself to think this would be less effort than just Writing. Subject to future change when i find yet more songs that suit this frickin story. there’s lots!!!]

01. Showyourself - Montaigne - Show yourself, shadow, I'm lonely / Show yourself / I don't know how to take care of me alone

02. Do I Wanna Know? - CHVRCHES - So have you got the guts? / Been wondering if your heart's still open / And if so, I wanna know what time it shuts / Simmer down and pucker up / I'm sorry to interrupt, it's just I'm constantly on the cusp / Of trying to kiss you / And I don't know if you feel the same as I do / We could be together if you wanted to

03. Stay With Me - Better Love - Come stay with me another night / Don't overthink / Oh, I know I just met you / But you're clouding all my dreams / Go on and set me free / I wanna see you tomorrow / Are you thinking of me?

04. Crane Your Neck - Lady Lamb - We ripped off all our clothes and this included all our jewelry / And we ran hand in hand back when you brought out the beast in me / The parts that are dormant, I wish to set them free / And in the clarity of this night I make myself believe I can sleep easily alone

05. Bad Ideas - Tessa Violet - I don't know what compels me / To do the very thing that fells me / I wake up, still high on you / But by the night, I'm crashing through, so

06. No Face - Haley Heynderickx - Tell me what's wrong here / Is it the bridge of my nose / Or the backs of my skin / Is it the pull of my hips / That you couldn't let in

07. Monster - dodie - So maybe I will talk to you / The only way I know how to / Mhm, you've said your speech / Mhm, through sharpened teeth / You break the rules and spikes grow from your skin

08. Drive Slow - ADDIE - The rush that I feel when / Our hands are intertwined / We're always together / It kills me that you aren't mine

09. The Thunder Answered Back - Gabby’s World - So here I sit, I've come to rest some weight upon your little chest / You free-for-all, you wrecking ball / Hovering next to your bed, to lay waste to your healthy head / You spider web, you dance of death

10. Mezzanine - Lady Lamb - How I ache, I ache in the pit of me / I awake, awake with this fear in me / How it makes, makes a fool out of me / With its knife how it carves the seeds out of my heart / For to plant in the soil for to feast 

11. The Moon Will Sing - The Crane Wives - We could have been anywhere, anywhere else / Instead I made a bed with apathy / My heart knew the weight / Ten years worth of dust and neglect / We made our peace with weariness / And let it be

12. Company - Daisy the Great - Tell me the truth if the truth means I'm better / Than I am in my head (I am in my head) / I hate what I want because I can't have it / I want your company

13. Distractions - Wild Painting - I'm here lyin next to you / In my mind, you're all that I really want / Claws and the marks on my favorite shirt / Got me feeling the motions, I didn't know / I had for you, you thought you knew / But you didn't / And I didn't at all

14. R U Mine? - Ratwyfe - Looking into your moonlit eyes / You look so enchanting tonight / I get scared when I see your face / ‘Cause I don’t know why you would ever stay

15. Choices - To Kill A King - He's on your doorstep / He's laden with flowers / This garden is freezing, teasing / You're leaving me for hours

16. 1996 - Wild Child - Sometimes it's more than I can take / I try to hold on 'cause I always run away / Just want to see you at the end of every day / Guess if I lose, I'll love you anyways

17. Honeydew - Small Talks - Honeydew / Don’t take it personal cause I love you too / But not the way you want me / I adore you, but not the way you want me to

18. Lost - Liza Anne - I'll be lost if I love him, lost if I won't / And I can't muster up the courage to say it's best that I leave / I can't muster up much of anything when I'm feeling you breathe

19. Waiting on a Ghost - Left at London - I was in love, I couldn't stand you / I could move on, I never planned to / Now I'm in the kitchen just making a meal you won't eat / And cooking exhausts me but I thought I'd try to be sweet

20. Moon Song - Phoebe Bridgers - You couldn't have / Stuck your tongue down the throat of somebody / Who loves you more / So I will wait for the next time you want me / Like a dog with a bird at your door  

21. Rearview - Beach Bunny - Underneath all apathy / You're woven into my tapestry / Did you ever love me at all? / Sometimes I start to lose control

22. Vacation Home - Whitehall - Sometimes, I feel like I'm a house / By the shore, oh I don't wanna be / Some kind of resort for you when you get bored / You know me, I'd rather be / Some place where you can feel happy

23. You Are the Apple - Lady Lamb - You devoured my heart / You devoured my heart like it was strawberry cake at a birthday celebration / But I still need your love / I still need your love / I need your love / I need your love / Yeah, yeah, yeah / I still need your teeth around my organs

24. Baby No More (acoustic) - Anjimile - Am I / Not supposed to hurt you? / Am I / Not supposed to make you cry? / Damn, I / I just don't know good loving / The right way

25. Things We Never Say - Bad Bad Hat - Wish I knew what you were thinking when you kissed me on the floor / But I’m not sorry that I let you, or that we did this whole thing wrong / And I never say I love you, but I meant it all along

26. midnight love - girl in red - I hope that the right time one day arrives / So I'll be willing to let this die / Able to look you right in the eyes / Say I'm not your consolation prize

27. Please You - Montaigne - I'm going to sit here in the dark / And hope one day I make my mark on you, it's all I long to do / I belong to me and to my heart / I hope one day that I can stop, can stop, can stop / Trying to please you

28. His Hands - Blegh - You're too real for me / You should go to something better / I'll give you to someone better / I have friends that'll be on earth for longer / I have friends that won't feel like monsters

29. Bottles - Little Image - I loved you, I loved you / Woah-oh / Did you love me? Did you ever love me? // Or anything anymore? / You bottle your love so tightly

[a-writes3]

Wish You Were Sober Part Four (Fatin Jadmani x Reader)

The gif has nothing to do with the story i just think she’s pretty. Also some events may occur at different times than what happened in the show just because of the story i have in my head. I also wrote most of it at 1AM so it might not make total sense and spelling errors are expected. Enjoy. (Also please request things. Thank youuuu.)

*Italics are a flashback*

The night went by with barely any sleep but waking up in the arms of Fatin almost made up for it. All the girls had been awake by now and Dot was pestering everyone to get up and do something productive so that we don’t die. Almost everyone did except for Fatin who was being her usual self. The group had quickly become annoyed at Fatin doing nothing. She ended up walking away from the rest of the girls and off to the other side of the beach. The entire group decided this was their time to start making fun of her starting with Nora had begun an impression. Everyone else followed her and just made jokes and if they didn’t they were laughing at the others. I found myself becoming increasingly annoyed and mad at the group for the things they were saying and assuming about the girl i loved.

“Can you guys just stop?” Everyone looked at me in surprise since i had been very quiet the entire time we’ve been here. 

“We’re just joking around.” Nora says quietly.

“It’s not a joke unless it’s funny. You know, you guys talk a lot of shit about sticking together and girls sticking up for girls but then you go and you pull this? What? Because Fatin’s a girl who knows what she wants and likes to have sex every once in a while? I can almost guarantee that she is more selfless and loyal than any of you. And smarter than at least half of you. You know, she’s guaranteed to get into julliard the best performing arts school in the country and y’all are acting like she never worked hard for anything.” 

By now the girls were more guilty than shocked because they knew i had a point. I saw that they felt bad but i still continued.

“Yeah she may not be doing labor but i don’t blame her. Can’t you just appreciate what she’s given you? I mean who’s clothes are keeping you from freezing to death at night, huh?”

They just stay silent in an awkward silence but i was waiting for some kind of apology but was met with nothing so i just shook my head and walked into the woods.

“You guys are pathetic.” I say before walking away. 

Before i could get too far i came across Fatin who had a smirk on her face and had heard everything that had just went on.

“That was hot. You sticking up for me.” She said while pulling me towards her by my shirt and putting her arms around my neck. Looking into hers eyes you could see love in them but there was also a playful glint in them which i quickly caught on to.

“If you think that i’m gonna have sex with you in the woods than you’re wrong.”

She feigns hurt and puts her hang on her chest.

“I never said that.”

“You’re eyes say differently.” I say walking away into the woods. Fatin catches up to me and laces her fingers in between mine. 

“As much as i appreciated it, you didn’t have to go off on them for me. People will say what they say and i have know control over it.”

“It’s not okay. They assume things based on appearances. They don’t even know you.”

“Well a week earlier and you probably would’ve been saying the same thing.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I step in front of her and let go of her hand.

“Nothing. Just-” She sighs. “You’ve said you’re fair share of hurtful things is all.”

“That was completely different situation Fatin.” 

“Look, I’m not trying to argue. I appreciate you sticking up for me truly. Just maybe tone down the aggressiveness. No need to fight for me.” She then walked back towards the other group. I end up following her. When we got back the girls were quiet and looking at me with wary eyes until Shelby proposes that we play a game. Never have i ever. It was going well untill Martha asks her question.

“Never have i ever fallen in love.”

Everyone except Rachel, Martha and Fatin takes a sip of their alcohol. Which shocked me seeing as Fatin had just confessed her love for me not too long ago. She looked at me as i was drinking and saw the hurt in my eyes but quickly looked down at the ground.

“As a follow up question, Never have i ever said I love you and not meant it.”

Unsurprisingly Fatin took a drink which left me wondering if it was about me one of her many other flings from the past.The game went by and i was increasingly overthinking everything as always.We all seperated to try and get some sleep for the night. I chose to stay up and stare at the ocean. Apparently i wasn’t the only one, Leah had taken a seat next to me in the sand. We used to be best friends until the incident with Jeff. We hadn’t spoken until we go onto the island.

“Are you okay? You seemed off all night.” She asked apprehensively, I’m guessing from the incident earlier.

“No, but i’ll get there.”

“If you wanna talk i’m here. I’m always up for spilling about feelings.”

I look at her and found myself trusting her. 

“Fatin.... We’ve had this friends with benefits thing going on for about a year and when the plane crashed she told me that she loved me. But then tonight she drank when the question was about lying about being in love with someone.”

“Fatin likes girls?” Leah looks surprised but when she sees my face she backtracks. “Sorry that’s not what this is about. I don’t really know much about love but maybe talk to her. Fatin seems pretty reasonable.”

I laugh humorlessly ,“Yeah, You must not know her very much. But that’s enough about me. What’s up with you? You haven’t seen very happy lately.”

“Got my heart broken. Lost all my friends. That’s about it.”

“I can relate to that partly. How about this? I’ll be your friend as long as you don’t talk about that stupid book.”

Leah smiles, “I think i can do that.” There was a pause. “You should get some rest.” She gets up and goes to lay down. I still stay up through the night looking out at the ocean and the stars and listening to the sounds of nature behind me. After a while i thought back a year to the first time I had met Fatin at a party.

I am sitting on some strangers couch drinking from a cup that was handed to me and filled with what i presumed was some cheap vodka and smoking weed that tasted like it costed 5 dollars but any high is something. I was sitting all alone until a gorgeous brunette girl sat down next to me. 

“What are you doing all alone?” She asks. The girl sees i’m not wanting to talk with strangers so she introduces herself. “Oh i’m Fatin by the way.” She gave me the most beautiful smile i’ve ever seen and i felt myself develop a small crush on the girl.

“Y/n.” I answer.

“Are you here with anyone? Boyfriend?” Fatin continues the conversation.

“No. I’m single and i don’t swing that way if you know what i mean.”

“Ah i see.” She smirks and i can see the flirtatious thoughts swirl in her mind. “How come i’ve never seen you around school?”

“Different crowds. Social statuses.”

“Hm,” She pauses to think and her eyes light up. “What do you say we get out of here and go to my house? Have some fun?” She raises her eyebrows.

I quickly understood what she was hinting at and agreed to the adventure. I didn’t have much to lose. The next morning i woke up in Fatin’s house with her telling me that i had to leave before her parents woke up which i did. On Monday i went to school and was only semi-surprised when she practically ignored my existence and against my better judgment i went up to her when she was alone. 

“Uh, Fatin.”

She looked up at me and rolled her eyes a little. 

“What do you what?” She asks with a slightly bitter tone.

“Can we talk about Saturday? What happened?”

“What happened was I got drunk and wanted to have fun. It was a one time thing. And with my one night stands i usually don’t speak to them after so let’s keep it that way.”

She walked away before i could say something. I would’ve believe her words had we not have hooked up countless times after that. I fell into her trap and couldn’t escape it.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by Nora walking up to me. Apparently the sun was starting to come up.

“Are you okay?” The girl says awkwardly.

I had then noticed that there were tears running down my face which i quickly wiped away. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I say not knowing if i was trying to convince Nora or myself.

“Are you sure? You’re crying.”

“I’m good. Really. Thank you though.”

She just smiled and walked away but she was followed by Fatin who sat down next to me and looked at my face but i didn’t have it in me to look back. 

“You’re not actually good are you? I mean you won’t even look at me.” I didn’t answer. “Did i do something wrong?” She asks with a hint of worry. I just shook my head and closed my eyes to prevent the tears from leaving my eyes again but i was unsuccessful. Fatin reacted by pulling me into a hug but i shrugged her off and started walking down the beach, confusing the other girls as well. Leah had walked after me. 

“Fatin really got to you, huh?”

“It’s not just Fatin. Remember when i took a break from school for a month in our freshman year?” Leah just nodded. “Well i was in a “Institution” apparently my depression is severe.”

“Does Fatin know?”

I shook my head. Leah had known about my mental health and how bad it had gotten but not about the hospitals or anything. 

“Is it bad again?” 

“Yeah.” Leah then came in for a hug which i gratefully accepted. We headed back to the group who was cautiously watching me. I sat down in the sand between Leah and Toni, who had an annoyed look on her face as usual. We all sat there and talked about our situation after a while everyone had broken off into seperate conversations. Fatin walked up to me.

“Can we talk?”

[azucanela]

May i ask for a scenario,yaoyorozuXFemreader,Momo is really stressed out by exams, she's not feeling well and doesn't sleep a lot in particular w/ the fact that there has been a thunderstorm every night for more than a week now and thunder awakens her. one evening reader(her crush)finds her half asleep on the living room sofa and takes her to sleep with her. It becomes a(secret) habit of theirs because Momo sleeps better with Y/n. And one day the other girls find out.Thank you, have a nice day!

TEMPEST | YAOYOROZU X READER

SUMMARY: Stormy nights lead Momo to Y/N’s dorm room after days of exhaustion, and now it’s become a habit. Good or bad? Well, Y/N didn’t know if she was honest, seeing as the girls were screaming now that they’d discovered the two of them together. 

WORD COUNT: 1.6k

WARNINGS: wholesome, a kiss woo,

A/N: momo is so pretty someone tell me why. anyways i hope you liked this!

It was an accident, really. 

Y/N found herself incapable of sleeping, the constant thunderstorms that had been plaguing UA were making it difficult. Rain pattering against her window, lightning striking and thunder sounding, Y/N decided there was no point in trying tonight as she slipped out of bed. Pulling a sweatshirt of hers— no, not hers. It was Momo’s sweatshirt, she’d borrowed it earlier and forgotten to give it back, and Y/N couldn’t help the light blush that found its way onto her cheeks as she slipped it over her body. 

She didn’t bother with shoes, simply making her way to the common area, there was a kitchen, a few areas to eat, similar to a mini cafeteria had it not been for the living room just a few feet away.

Tea probably wouldn’t help her sleep, but it would certainly soothe her anxieties, seeing as Y/N had her exams, along with the rest of her class, fairly soon. She’d taken to studying daily, alongside the rest of her classmates, though this didn’t calm her nerves much. And apparently it didn’t calm Momo’s either, Y/N could see the girl seated in the couch of the common room, computer open on her lap, though the screen had dimmed. 

“Momo?” She called out, moving toward the couch. There was no movement, and Y/N’s brows furrowed as she opened her mouth to speak once more, only for thunder to boom loudly, startling the both of them. 

The girl’s head snapped upward, turning to look around only for her eyes to fall on Y/N, widening a fraction. Y/N could see the bags under her eyes, which softened at the sight of Y/N, “oh. Hello, Y/N.” Momo offers her a weak smile, turning back to her computer, which had now shut off entirely. “Why are you awake? Exams are coming up, you should be well-rested.”

Raising a brow, Y/N took a seat on the arm of the couch, “I could say the same to you.” Momo had a pretty strict schedule when it came to school, everyday after walking back to the dorms alongside Y/N she’d go to her room and finish her homework. Then she’d eat dinner, followed by some socializing with the others, and maybe a study session. She wasn’t the type to stay up late like this, which is why Y/N was pretty baffled by her presence.

Momo’s cheeks reddened at her words, and she turns back to her computer, which was now illuminated with course work. “The recent weather has made it difficult to sleep, so I’ve decided to work on my studies instead.” She yawns, a hand coming to cover her mouth, and it’s clear that she’s exhausted, making Y/N wonder how many nights she’d stayed up like this. 

And upon hearing her words, Y/N simply shakes her head, moving from her seat on the arm of the couch back onto the floor in front of Momo. Pushing the laptop closed, Y/N brings it under her arm and extends her free hand to Momo, “let’s go to bed?” Maybe she’s being bolder than normal because she’s pretty exhausted herself, because Y/N normally wouldn’t dare suggest sleeping in the same bed as Momo, the girl she liked, if she was in her right mind. 

Momo just clears her throat, straightening in her seat as her eyes met Y/N’s, “let’s?” She questioned, her mind running rampant with possibilities. Perhaps it had been a mistake in her wording, or maybe she was reading into the interaction, and as Momo stared at Y/n she realized that for once, she was not overthinking. 

A small laughed escaped Y/N as she nodded, “yeah. Clearly you aren’t sleeping well, and neither am I.” Grabbing Momo’s hand, Y/N pulls her up from the couch, causing her to stumble forward, “there’s no point in struggling alone.” Y/N mumbled noticing how close they were, inhaling deeply as she pulled away to guide Momo back to her room, looking to her once more. 

Momo blinked, simply nodding slowly in response.

Now, Y/N did not expect this to become a recurring thing, but when Momo showed up at her door during the oddest of hours, how was she supposed to say no? 

If Momo was honest, she was pretty embarrassed by it. She’d tried, really she had, but sleep never came easy unless she found herself beside Y/N, and seeing as it was exam season, sleep was necessary. She was only doing this out of necessity, that was all, not because of her feelings for Y/N, which seemed to be growing by the minute. 

Her crush on the girl was not helping how flustered she got whenever they awoke, limbs tangled together, close enough that Momo figured she might pass out due to shock. Not that she was complaining. Laying beside Y/N, who’s head was buried in her neck, Momo was pretty comfortable, allowing herself to fall asleep. Seeing as this was a nightly thing, they’d gotten comfortable with each other quickly, late night conversations about anything they could come up with and bodies closer than necessary. 

Maybe this comfort she found beside Y/N was the reason she failed to hear all the knocks on the door. 

Mina had taken the time to remind both Momo and Y/N of the plans they had that day with the other girls earlier, and yet they both still managed to forget. Now, Mina was knocking rather aggressively on Y/N’s door in hopes of waking the girl up so that they could head over to Momo’s room and do the same. Of course, Uraraka had tried to talk her out of it, but it hadn’t really worked. Now she stood alongside Jirou, Asui, and Hagaruke, though she was still mumbling out protests on occasion. Though they didn’t do much against Mina’s insistent knocking.

Now, Mina probably should’ve considered all the issues with breaking down the door ahead of time, like paying for any damages or Aizawa’s wrath, but that wasn’t on her mind as she forced the door open to reveal a startled Momo Yaoyorozu and Y/N L/N, laying in bed together. 

Oh.

“Oh my god, you did it Momo!” Mina exclaimed, rushing inside the room, followed by a curious Asui, who’s brow raised at the sight. 

“So cute!” Hagaruke cooed, encouraging Mina’s antics.

Uraraka’s cheeks seemed to be burning more than Momo or Y/N’s as she cried out, “maybe we should go! This seems like a private moment-’

“Calm down, Uraraka.” Jirou assured, patting her back.

Mina is practically bouncing off the walls as she beams at the pair, “I’m so glad you two are finally together,” This statement earns a raised brow from Y/N.  Momo has been pining after Y/N for months.” Momo had confided the Mina about her crush, mostly because Mina had pestered her until she admitted her feelings. This was something she was coming to regret.

Clearing her throat, Momo sat up in the bed, “hello ladies! I apologize for...” She made a gesture to the room, “I’ll go get dressed.” Her cheeks are flaming as she moves to get out of Y/N’s bed.

Y/N’s mouth has gaped open, “I’m sorry, what?” She grabbed Momo’s hand, preventing her from getting any further, though she makes no other moves as she shift from her position on the bed.

“Guys, I don’t think they’re dating.” Asui mumbled to the others, watching the pair. There’s a mortified look on Momo’s face, and for a moment Mina is wondering if their sweet Momo would ever hurt her as she watches Y/N’s face morph into one of shock.

Uraraka brings her hands to her face in embarrassment, “we should go.” Her voice cracks as she tries to exit, only for Jirou to grab her by the shoulder, shaking her head with a sigh.

“Well-” Momo inhales deeply, shutting her eyes briefly, “this is not how I wanted you to find out about my feelings for you. I understand if you no longer wish to continue this arrangement-”

And then Y/N is laughing, throwing her head back, “I’ve been pining for no reason.” She’s shaking her head as she looks to Momo, “I like you too.”

Uraraka finds herself shoving everyone out of the room, a blush coating her own cheeks as she cries out, “let’s give them some privacy!” Though Mina makes several attempts to pass her, Uraraka slams the door behind her, leaving Y/N to wonder just how damaged her door will be by the end of the day. Of course, she’s not thinking about this at the moment. 

It’s Momo’s turn to be shocked when Y/N rises to her knees, taking Momo’s face in her hands and bringing her lips to hers. Momo ends up falling backwards onto the bed once more, tentatively bringing a hand to her waist as she returns the kiss.

“I see.” Momo mumbled when they pulled apart, eyes falling on the likely damaged door. She can hear Uraraka scolding their friends, and it brings a smile onto her face.

Returning her gaze to Y/N, Momo feels her cheeks flush, “we should probably go.” Y/N says, though the way she leans back in contradicts her words.

“Yes, we should.” Momo agrees swiftly, inhaling deeply as Y/N’s lips meet hers once again.

This was another habit that Momo would develop, and definitely not one she intended to break.

But it was all an accident, really.

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BNHA: @shawkneecaps

[jalapeno-princess]

Broken-Hearted Girl

Mark Tuan X Reader

Genre: Angst with a happy ending

Word Count: 8.7K

Summary: After a petty argument escalates into Mark saying some things he didn’t mean, the two of you end up breaking up on your third anniversary. For the rest of the week, you find solace in your family and you learn how to live with a broken heart.

A/N: I don’t even remember how I stumbled upon this song but after listening to and falling in love with one of their other songs “Friend’s Don’t” by Maddie and Tae, I already knew I was going to like this one also. I recommend you listen to it while reading this imagine, the song really does tug on your heartstrings. I’ve been extremely busy for the last few weeks and so I wanted to put a hold on writing (even if just for a few days) but I’ve actually been staying up till the wee hours of the morning (I feel as if I might have insomnia but who knows) and I actually had a really bad mental breakdown earlier, so I needed something to help calm me down and take my mind off of my negative thoughts. Writing is my favorite escape from how cruel this world can be sometimes (although, my writing is literal shit haha) (and i really don’t care for how I ended this and I’m actually kind of unimpressed with this story) but I hope you guys enjoy it! (I have never been in a relationship before so I haven’t experienced the pain of a heartbreak (and I’m sure knowing my sensitive ass I would actually die)

Hey, mama, how do you get a red-wine stain Out of your favorite dress? Black mascara off a pillow case Cure a one-too-many headache Mama, can I come and maybe stay a few days? This weekend or next And hey, how do you get a red-wine stain Out of your favorite dress?

How does he sleep at night? Mama, the nerve of this guy To leave me so easy Am I gonna be alright? I wanna kick myself for fallin' so hard Mama, can you die from a broken heart?

This was not how tonight was supposed to end. Usually, anniversaries were meant to be extremely romantic. They were meant to celebrate the amount of time you’ve been in a relationship with your significant other and to relish in the love that you had for one another; yet here you were, storming out of your boyfriend—well, now ex-boyfriend’s truck towards your apartment with tears streaming down your face. 

You were too focused on getting inside and just collapsing to the ground that you couldn’t even remember how the night ended so terribly. Just a few hours ago, Mark picked you up with the intentions on surprising you for your third anniversary together. 

The two of you practically couldn’t even keep your eyes, let alone your hands off of each other to the point where Mark was just going to say fuck it and show you just how much he loved you and how happy he was to be able to call you the love of his life with his head between your thighs. However, things didn’t go as planned. 

In fact, you had a hard time processing that he told you he planned on spending the rest of his life with you just a few moments before the argument broke out. As soon as you unlocked the door and stumbled inside, you immediately sank to your knees and let out the most heartbreaking cry you didn’t think you were capable of. Not once in your life did you ever cry as much as you were right now. 

Sure, you’ve lost a few loved ones, failed a couple of very important tests here and there and sometimes you and Mark would watch some of the saddest movies every now and then but nothing ever hurt you as much as Mark’s last words did. 

My life would’ve been so much easier if you weren’t in it. 

Each word felt like a stab in your gut. At the time, you knew you said some things that you didn’t mean and that you were sure had a negative effect on him; but nothing you said was even half as bad as hearing him practically say he regrets your entire relationship. 

It made you overthink the last three years of being with him. Mark was in more or less words, the perfect boyfriend. He was quite the gentleman; he always held doors open for you, pushed you on the inside whenever you’d be walking on sidewalks, pulled out chairs for you, always asked how your day was going and if you were eating all your meals on time. 

He knew your coffee order by heart, he’d buy you cute little things he would see that he thought you would like and he even made you a few playlists of songs that reminded him of you. He took care of you as if you were the most delicate little dandelion; but that didn’t mean he wasn’t rough or dominant behind closed doors. 

Mark knew you like the back of his hand. Three years would do that to someone; he knew each and every mole, freckle, beauty and birthmark on your body. He was well aware of the scar on your knee that was shaped like Texas and how you got it from playing football with your cousins. If perfect was a person, it would be him. 

Everyone who knew of him wanted to be his friend. Mark was a social butterfly; he had a tendency to be friendly and kind to whoever he encountered. His golden heart, extremely kind and generous personality was got you to fall in love with him; on top of his indescribable good looks and charismatic charm. After knowing each other for over seven years, you’ve grown accustomed to having Mark in your life. 

Even before the two of you started dating, he was there for almost every milestone in your life. He was there when you got accepted in to the college of your dreams, he was there when you got an internship with a company you’ve been wanting for a long time, he was there for your first time getting drunk at the young age of 16 and he was the one to rub your back as you threw up the following morning. 

With that being said, he was also there during some of the darkest times in your life. When your grandmother passed away from cancer, it felt as if your entire world fell apart. She was your best friend and you were completely devastated as soon as your mom called you and told you the news of her passing. Mark was at baseball practice around the time that you were heading to the hospital, but once he heard of what happened, he wasted no time in making his way to where you were and pulled you in to his chest the moment his eyes landed on your frail figure. 

It took months of grieving, crying over her absence and Mark constantly whispering sweet words of comfort for you to come to terms with her death and you were entirely grateful that you had someone so patient and understanding as Mark was to be there for you during such a traumatic time. What was going to happen now when he was the reason why you were so distraught? 

Losing your grandmother was extremely painful and even after all these years, you weren’t completely over her death. However, knowing that man you loved more than life itself no longer wanted anything to do with you was a different kind of pain. Although there were a few times in your relationship that you and Mark would disagree, not once did a fight escalate this badly before. 

Your relationship was one that everyone around you seemed to envy. Everyone and their mothers knew just how much Mark loved you and it was obvious by your words and actions that you felt the exact same way. His mom always used to tell you that your love was one for the ages; you both cared for one another in ways that only people who were genuinely in love could experience. For two people who’ve been in a relationship for as long as you and Mark have, you were still in the so called “honeymoon stage” where you constantly had to be around each other even if all you did was laze around all day doing nearly nothing. 

Just being in his presence always made you feel so at ease; so serene. Home wasn’t necessarily a place you lived in or just a roof above your head. Home wasn’t just a place that gave you shelter; home was where you felt the safest, the most comfortable and home was where you were happiest. For the last seven years, Mark Tuan was your home and now, you were homeless. You always felt so protected and loved whenever you were around him and you hated every moment spent away from him. 

The more time you spent crying on the floor, the more you came to the realization that tonight’s events actually happened and Mark was no longer your person. Although neither of you actually called it quits, you knew by the tone of his voice and in his facial expression that it was over. Even if he were to come back to you within the week begging you for forgiveness, you don’t think you could ever forget how his words screwed you up mentally and physically. 

When you decided that you had cried all the tears you had in your body and that you were wasting your time crying over someone who couldn’t give less of a shit about you, you got up from your spot right in front of the door and slowly sauntered off in to the kitchen. Anyone who knew you were aware of the fact that you hated alcohol. 

You weren’t a heavy drinker, and you were sure it’s because you spent your teenage years getting high and wasted to the point where it was no longer fun to do now that it was legal. The bottle of red wine that was in the back of your cupboard was a gift from Mark’s friend Jackson for your birthday a couple of months ago and you didn’t want to seem rude by not accepting it since you didn’t care for red wine or just wine in general. 

But now, you were extremely grateful for his choice in gifts and you made it your responsibility to finish the entire bottle in one sitting before you went to sleep. That’s if you could even find it in yourself to even go to bed. Your mind was filled with thoughts of Mark and what he was doing right now; if he regretted what he said, if he knew you were currently suffering and beating yourself up about the argument. 

How could the two of you go from being seconds away to ripping each other’s clothes off, to you drinking imported red wine straight from the bottle to take your mind off of your broken heart? As you continued to drink the wine, it was in that moment of sitting on your kitchen floor and banging your head on your refrigerator that you noticed your front door had a dent in it. You wouldn’t be surprised if you were to go up to it and see that you broke it by how hard you slammed it out of anger, but at this point you didn’t even care. 

Your mind, your heart and your body were so numb that nothing else seemed to matter and if anything, the door represented your mental state and your relationship. Seeing as how you were the definition of a light weight, it didn’t take you long to completely knock out on the hard tile. Although that last sentence continued to replay over and over; taunting you as a painful reminder that you were living your actual nightmare, it was the fact that he gave up on you so easily as if you meant nothing to him that really killed you. 

Was he planning to breakup with you and used this argument to actually go along with it? How long ago did he decide he no longer wanted to be with you? Everything seemed to be going so good for the two of you; so when did he decide he had enough of your relationship? You weren’t surprised when you woke up the next morning with an extremely painful migraine and a crook in your neck. 

This is why you despised any type of alcohol and never understood why Mark and his friends constantly went out to bars whenever they hung out. However, you felt as if this was going to be your way to ease the pain and knowing that alone made you want to cry again. After taking a few moments to process what you were going to do for the rest of the day, you got up to take some pain killers and to look at your current state to see how much of a mess you probably were. 

Almost half an hour later, you found the strength to get up and walked to your bathroom. Your head was throbbing and your bones ached from sleeping on the floor, but nothing hurt even half as much as your heart did. As soon as you saw your reflection, you didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. You looked horrible. Your hair looked like a bird’s nest; tangled and all over the place. You had mascara stained on your cheeks, your eyes were puffy and if you weren’t so numb, you would’ve screamed at the wine stain in the dress you were wearing; your favorite dress to be exact. 

Mark bought you that dress a couple of months ago because he knew it would look good on you and he was right. The first time you wore it, it didn’t stay on for too long. It was your favorite dress for many reasons; not only did your boyfriend buy it for you, but as someone who was extremely insecure with her body, no matter how many times Mark would make it known how much he loved your body and thought you were the most beautiful and sexiest woman to exist, the dress made you feel beautiful. 

You wore this dress with so much confident but now, it was stained with a deep maroon color right around the chest area and it was a brief representation of the hell you were going through. Like the fool that you were, the fool who was madly in love with the person you wished you could hate right now, you checked your phone to see if he tried to get in touch with you at all and you felt your stomach sink when you saw nothing. 

No texts, no calls, no voicemails, no “I’m sorry, I made a mistake”, no “I love you” or “I miss you.” Couples went through breakups all the time so why did you feel pathetic for something you weren’t at fault for? The rest of the week felt like you were dreaming the same nightmare over and over again. You could still see the anger and rage in his eyes when he told you that you were annoying and that he wasted his night with you when he could’ve gone out with his friends. You were sure there was a chance he was with them right now and you didn’t care at all. 

If he was so quick to let you go without a care in the world, you weren’t going to allow yourself to cry over him no matter how much you wanted to. But you were only human. Three years may not be considered “a long relationship” and you were still kind of young to get married and settle down but you knew Mark was the man you wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of your life with. The two of you talked about your futures on multiple occasions and every time Mark would talk about his plans, you were in each one. 

On the fifth day, you came to terms with the idea that it was really over. You tried lying to yourself by thinking that he was going to come back and that he just needed some time to calm down, but you gave up on that idea entirely knowing how Mark could be. Two things about the older boy that you could do without was his pride and how stubborn he could be. 

He tried his best not to show you those sides of him because he didn’t want you thinking negatively of him or being afraid of him; however there were occasions where he would get in to it with one of his friends because he always had to have the last word. With that being said, you knew Mark wasn’t going to give in. He wasn’t going to initiate reconciling with you even if that’s what he wanted because that’s just who he was. 

A week away from work was what you needed to really try and get yourself together again. It wasn’t until your mom called asking how you were doing and if you and Mark wanted to stop by for dinner that you realized you weren’t okay nor were you ready to go out and put on a fake smile while pretending nothing was wrong. When your mom called you, you let her go to voicemail multiple times. 

Although your mom was your best friend and you probably needed someone to be there to comfort you during your heartbreak, you weren’t ready for pity or sympathy. The only person you needed was Jack Daniels. You hated what you had become in less than a weak and you hated that you allowed Mark to have this effect on you. It was only natural for you to be responding to your breakup in this way; you were only human. But you were now a pathetic alcoholic who was wasting her time crying over a man who was no longer in her life. 

Three shots of vodka, two beers and one shot of tequila later and you absentmindedly left a lengthy voicemail to your mom, telling her exactly what happened all the while begging her to let you stay at your parent’s house for a couple of days. Maybe even weeks. Deep down, you knew you needed to be around people no matter how much you enjoyed being alone because your mind always found away to think about Mark. 

You told her how Mark yanked out your heart and stepped on it repeatedly. You told her about getting drunk every single day for the last week, how much you hated him for what he was putting you through and how you hated that you were letting such a stupid boy control your emotions. You also asked her if your dad could come over on one of his days off to take a look at your door. She didn’t take long to respond back to you nor were you surprised when you heard her knocking on your door while she quickly pulled you in to her embrace once you opened it. 

“Oh yeah sweetheart, you really broke your poor door. Come here baby, mama’s got you.” 

She helped you bring your bags to the car and the two of you stayed in silence the entire ride to your parent’s house. You had a feeling she had a few questions she wanted to ask you and that there was a couple of things she wanted to say but you were glad that the only noise in her car was the sound of the air conditioner. You weren’t ready for any kind of human interaction or a conversation you knew would drive you even more crazy. 

All you wanted was for your mom to rock you back and forth like how she used to when you were younger and tell you that everything was going to be okay even if you lost all hope on it being so. When she pulled up to the garage, she told you to stay put so that she could help you get out of your car and you felt like such a child. Out of all your siblings, you were the closest one to your mom and even if you were an adult living on your own with a full time job and everything, you were always going to be her little girl. 

Seeing your child cry was always painful for a mother, but because the reason behind your sadness was something out of her control, she felt like she couldn’t do anything but console you and get you whatever you needed to try and make you feel better. Once you made it inside of the house, she led you to your old bedroom and let you get settled in so that she could prepare you something to eat. You didn’t have the heart to tell her you weren’t all that hungry; you haven’t had much of an appetite in the last week and you were sure she noticed your sudden weight loss. 

A part of you wanted to ask her to forget about it, especially because being in your old room brought back so many memories of Mark and how he would sneak in on school nights and how the two of you would stay up talking about anything your hearts desired. Being alone wasn’t something you’d think you’d ever get used to, especially because Mark was like your shadow. Wherever you went, Mark followed and unlike most people who would probably complain about his clinginess, you enjoyed it profusely. 

Knowing that Mark always craved your presence and needed to be around you to maintain his sanity made your heart flutter. This has been the longest you had to be without him and every day felt like an entire month. It’s as if time went by frustratingly slow because the universe was aware of your heartbreak and wanted to make you suffer for whatever reason you were unsure of. 

Taking a look around your old bedroom, you could feel your chest grow heavy when you saw the few pictures you had of you and Mark from when you were growing up and tears were soon building up at your eyes. The two of you looked so happy together; you were just a couple of kids who dreamt about so many wonderful things that life had to offer. Little did either of you know that one day, you would fall in love with one another before you could even comprehend the meaning behind that silly four letter word. 

You silently cursed to yourself for getting all worked up again; you came to your parent’s house as a way to heal on your own and to surround yourself with people who love you and care about your well-being. You just needed to have some kind of support system or else you’d drive yourself crazy back at your apartment thinking about what you could’ve done to have prevented the breakup from happening. The gentle knock on your door took you by surprise and you almost ended up dropping the frame. 

She released a long sigh before she walked over toward you and took the picture from out of your hands. The last thing your mom wanted to do was to make you even more upset by saying something to trigger you or cause you to overthink. But she couldn’t handle seeing you so broken; so defeated especially because you were an actual ray of sunshine. Your smile alone could light up an entire room and your personality was so bright and bubbly, people enjoyed your company because of your enthusiasm. 

As much as your mom liked Mark to the point where she would secretly plan out your future wedding with his mom whenever they’d go out to lunch together, she wanted to find him and make him regret what he did to her baby girl. She was shocked to say the least when she got your voicemail and at first, she couldn’t even understand what you were saying because your speech was so slurred and she couldn’t hear a word you were saying through your tears. Mark made it known to his surroundings that you were his entire world and all he cared about was making sure you were well taken cared of and that you were happy, healthy and got everything you deserved. You were so agitated just by seeing his photo and you wanted to scream. 

He was probably already over the entire thing and although it killed you to think like this, you couldn’t help but feel as if he was already looking for someone new. Why else would he have left you so easily? There must’ve been someone on the side but who were you kidding? That man planned an entire night out for you; to celebrate your life together. Your mind came up with all these different reasons for the breakup so you could get some closure but you weren’t stupid. You knew Mark loved you, you just couldn’t find a reason why he would tell you he regrets your relationship and wishes he never met you. 

You despised yourself for trusting Mark with your entire being; for allowing him to see each and every part of you. The good, the bad, the ugly. You hated that he was the only man you’ve ever loved with your entire physical, mental and spiritual being. You were upset with yourself for falling so hard for him and giving him the control to do such a thing to your heart. The feeling of being in your mom’s arms again after moving out almost two years ago was extremely comforting and very calming. 

She ran her fingers through your hair and continued to stay silent and waited until you stopped crying completely before telling you exactly what was on her mind. After your sobs slowly died down, she tapped on your forehead to get your attention. 

“Sweetheart, have I ever told you the story of when your father left me back when we were in college?” 

You shook your head in disagreement but widened your eyes in shock at her revelation. From what you were told, your parents were college sweethearts. Your dad fell in love with her when one of their mutual friends asked him to pick her up from work once and he was extremely grateful that their car was in the shop at that time or else he would have never met his soulmate. 

They’ve been together for over twenty years and not once have you heard this story, but now you were heavily interested. You always loved hearing stories about your parents relationship; it gave you high hopes for your own relationship and since you were going through a breakup right now, you could only hope the story would lift up your spirits. 

“We were together for only three months at the time and it was the first relationship I had where I genuinely cared for him. He was so kind, so flirtatious and used the cheesiest pickup lines to make me laugh. I knew he was going to be someone special in my life. Unfortunately, at the time your dad was the only one in his group of friends that was in a relationship. They told him that being in a relationship was “lame” and that he was still so young to be wasting his time being tied down to one girl. He tried to defend and fight for our relationship, but his friends continued to pester him over it, so he broke up with me. I was devastated, I cried for hours on end and couldn’t eat anything. But he showed up only three days later with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a bucket of fried chicken. He told me he loved me and refused to be without me. It was quire romantic if you ask me.” 

You giggled at the idea of your dad asking your mom to take him back with some Popeyes. You were upset to hear that your dad’s friends coerced him in to breaking up with her. However, you were happy to hear that it didn’t take too long for him to realize your mom was it for him.

“He’ll be back y/n. I know he will. That boy—he loves you. He doesn’t need to say it out loud, I can tell in his actions and with the way he looks at you that he’s head over heels in love with you. His mom also mentioned it a couple times; he’s—what is that word kids your age use these days? Whipped for you? She said he has stars in his eyes whenever you come up in conversation. It’s serious when a boy talks about you to his momma. One day when the two of you are married with a family of your own, you’ll look back on this little bump in the road and laugh—“

“Please don’t say that. You didn’t see the way he looked at me when he told me all of those hurtful things. It didn’t even feel like he was my boyfriend, it was as if I was looking at a stranger. It makes me wonder, did he ever really love me if he had no problem leaving me?”

“I’m serious y/n. I don’t know what things were said that night or how things ended up the way they did, but when it’s real, when it’s love, you just know. He probably looks just as bad and if not worse than you do. I know it hurts. Breakups are rough, especially because it’s obvious you and Mark were made for one another. But what have I always told you? If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, then it’s yours forever and if it doesn’t, well baby, it just simply wasn’t meant to be. He was probably just in the heat of the moment and said some things he probably didn’t mean. I’m sure he’s regretting this entire thing. Mark’s a smart boy; if he knows what’s best for him, he’ll be yours again in no time. Until then, get out of this funk y/n. There’s so many wonderful things in the world to do and to be grateful for. Do you really want to look back on your twenties and regret wasting your time crying over a boy when you could be doing so many different activities and go on so many adventures?”

You released a frustrated sigh and shook your head again. She was right. You were tired of crying and drinking so much. There was only so much alcohol your body could handle and it wasn’t worth all the hangovers. 

“Maybe we should tell your dad what happened so he can mess around with him a little bit and teach him a lesson.”

The idea and the way your mom said it made you let out a genuine laugh. Your parents were always so protective over you and it was probably because you were so kind-hearted that people tended to take advantage of how polite you could be. However, even if she meant it as a joke, you were nervous at what your dad would do if he found out about what Mark said to you and how the breakup was slowly killing you. You were a daddy’s girl and your dad never failed to do anything to make you smile; even if it meant scaring your ex-boyfriend which you knew you didn’t want him doing. 

Your mom stayed with you for a few hours until it was timed for her to make dinner and you ended up falling asleep because of how mentally exhausted you were. No matter how much your mom loved it whenever you stayed over, she didn’t want you to get used to running away from your problems and hiding when things got too difficult. She wanted you to learn to live without him on your own. Your mom knew that you were going to be okay. Maybe not right now, but one day you would heal from this entire situation and realize that your breakup was a learning experience. 

Plus, you had to return back to work sooner or later or you would lose your job completely. A cloud of sadness came once your dad pulled up to your apartment complex and they offered to walk you to your door but you weren’t sure if you’d allow them to leave if they did. They both pulled you in for hugs as they said their goodbyes and you actually cried as you watched them drive away. Why did life have to be so complicated? You were so unhappy to the point where you thought you would actually die from a broken heart. 

The aspect of dying from a broken heart was extremely devastating; you’ve heard about it on multiple occasions. It was normal for people to be so sad, so distraught and have no energy or motivation to do anything. They wouldn’t eat, sleep and only spend most of their days crying out what was left of their hearts. You didn’t think going through a breakup would cause this much damage to you and your well-being; but contrary to what your mom told you, Mark wasn’t just any boy. He was the owner of your heart and you understood that he could torment you like this because you allowed him to. 

You stopped by the mailbox to see if you got anything before heading up to your apartment. When your parents were driving you back to your place, you decided that you would actually get up and do something today. Whether it was tidying up your place from how messy it had become from your one too many drunken stupors, or going to the cleaners to get that wine stain out of your dress. As you began to approach your unit, you noticed there was something sitting right in front of your door. 

The closer you got, you realized that it wasn’t just something, it was someone. Your heart felt as if it was about to jump out of your chest when you realized exactly who the person was slumped up against the wall. It was exactly a week since your fight and you weren’t sure if it was what your mom had said about your love and how beautiful it was, or because you were miserable without him but you wanted nothing more than to wrap your arms around him and beg him to come back to you. 

You expected to be angry if you were to see him again because of all the trauma you suffered through; yet seeing him tugged on your heartstrings and it was as if you pushed the entirety of the last week to the back of your mind. When Mark heard footsteps coming towards him and he looked up to see who it was, he had to hold himself back from running towards you. Your mom was right, just like she normally was. 

This week was one of the worst weeks of his entire life. He was suffering without you. He never hated himself more than he did when he said all those things and he hated himself even more for not running after you as soon as those spiteful words fell from his mouth. You were the best thing that has ever happened to him, and if things were to end up differently that night, he would’ve been able to show you exactly what you meant to him in more ways than one. 

He wanted to call you, to text you and to tell you how stupid he was and how he didn’t mean a single word that he said to you but words were never his forte. Nor did he want to give up his pride even if it meant preventing this last week from ever happening. It was all his fault, or so he kept telling himself and he couldn’t go one more day without you in his life. It was too much for his heart to withstand. 

He was going to do everything in his power to get you to forgive him, even if it meant having to stay away from you for a little while longer for you to completely heal from this experience. As soon as he drove away from your apartment that night, he knew he fucked up and accidentally punched a hole in his wall out of anger. He was so selfish; so insensitive and didn’t think that his harsh words would have any negative effect on you. 

After hearing your little jabs at him, he wanted to hit you where it hurt the most but if he knew then what he knew now, he would’ve kept his mouth shut and just dropped you home so that you both could calm down and not say everything you both said to one another. You let out a deep breath and tried to prepare your heart to hear why he was there and to be ready to fight if the situation called for it. 

“Hey.” 

You looked up at him and you could feel tears brimming at your eyelids. He looked so tired and you knew for a fact that he must’ve cried with how his eyes practically mirrored the puffiness of yours. The dark circles under his eyes were more prominent and his face looked smaller than it already was. It made you cringe; Mark was never one to portray himself as someone weak or someone who had feelings and emoted whenever something was up with him. If he had a problem, he’d deal with it on his own and this was no different. 

Good. He deserved to have suffered as much as you did. 

“Hi. How long have you been here for?” He shrugged before scratching the back of his head; something he normally did when he felt like he was in the wrong or whenever he was embarrassed and you took it as the former. 

“Um—since Wednesday I think.” 

Your eyes widened in shock at his answer. Wednesday? So that means he was sitting outside of your apartment for the last three days? 

“Wait, you’ve been here for three days? Are you crazy? Mark, you could’ve gotten sick! It’s cold out here! And what about food? Have you even been eating? You look so malnourished, why would you—“

“You and I both know why. I fucked up. Big time. It took me a while to think about it at this perspective because I was just so mad and I wanted to blame you for the way things ended that night but I came to the conclusion that this was my fault. I’m the one who fucked up something so amazing, so beautiful and so perfect because I was a fucking asshole y/n and I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.” 

In order to prevent wandering eyes of your neighbors, you opened the door and motioned for him to walk inside so that the two of you could have your privacy. 

“Shit y/n, what happened to your door? You have to practically force it open—“

“You don’t want to know. My dad is supposed to come over this weekend to try and fix it. I think the hinges must’ve came out or something. Can I get you something to eat? Drink?” 

He shook his head and you could see in your peripheral vision that he was hesitatingly reaching out for your hand, probably in attempts to bring you to the couch so he could continue the conversation from where the two of you began from but he just walked over to the living room and took a seat. You wanted to hear everything he had to say and you were going to make it a point to let him know what this breakup did to you. 

His focus was on the multiple empty bottles of alcohol sitting on your coffee table and because he was well aware of how much you hated alcohol, it was apparent that you must’ve had it really rough if you felt the need to turn to alcohol for solace. When he felt like he was ready to talk, he turned around to face you and released an exasperated sigh. 

“I’m sorry it took so long to come here—oh, these are for you. I actually had to go back to the store because the first two bouquets actually died probably because they weren’t being watered and I bought your favorite cookies—but I got hungry so there’s only three left.” 

He handed you the beautiful bouquet of sunflowers and you giggled at the sight of only three cookies in a big container but it made you smile nonetheless. 

How romantic. 

You politely thanked him and placed both of the gifts down on the table before speaking up. 

“You should’ve called me, I wouldn’t allow you to have waited out here for me. Are you crazy Mark? What if something happened to you—“

“Then so be it. I’d probably deserve it. Fuck, you don’t understand how much of a mess I was without you and how much I’ve been suffering because the image of your pained face would not leave my mind once this entire weekend. I had a feeling you weren’t home when you weren’t answering the door but then again, you could’ve looked through the peephole and decided you wanted nothing to do with me and I wouldn’t have blamed you. The old lady next door was kind enough to offer me some food here and there but I’m sure she probably thought I was a thief or something when she first saw me. I should’ve called but you and I both know why I didn’t. I kinda wanted to give you your space because I’m sure what I said probably got under your skin. I ruined our special day and I’m sorry if I broke your heart—with the way you’re looking at me I’m sure I hurt you pretty badly huh.” 

You looked up at him with a melancholic look in your eyes; that had to be the understatement of the year. If you didn’t have your family around to help you take your mind off of your failed relationship, you were sure you would have ended up in the hospital sooner or later. 

“You broke me Mark. You made me feel like I was worthless. You made me think there was someone else or that you fell out of love with me and I genuinely wanted to die. Pathetic right? I just—I didn’t know how to function without you and waking up every morning felt like a chore. At some points I felt like I couldn’t even breathe. I’ve heard heartbreaks caused by breakups were an unfathomable pain that are impossible to bounce back from and some people even die from a broken heart I just never would’ve thought it would happen to me. Especially because we were so happy; so in love and I would have never thought one stupid, meaningless argument could cause us to separate. You made it seem like leaving me was so easy and hearing that you wished that we never dated in the first place is what truly fucked me over. I became a fucking alcoholic because of you—I blamed the entire breakup on myself even if I didn’t say anything that I knew would inflict any sort of pain to you because the idea of hurting you hurts me. It’s sad to know you don’t feel that way.”

“That’s where you’re wrong y/n. I regretted everything that I said as soon as I said them but the damage was already done. Please believe me when I say this, I didn’t mean a fucking word. That was just the anger and the irritation talking for me. My life before you always felt so empty, and once you came in to it, you made everything so much better. You filled my life with color and made my heart soar by just the mere thought of you. I could never regret you or our relationship; you’re all I could ever want or need in this hell forsaken world. You know the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt you—“

“BUT YOU DID MARK.” 

You didn’t mean to yell, but it was all the built up emotions you’ve been holding in that finally released itself and you knew you wouldn’t be able to forget the way he shivered at your tone. Not once in the many years of knowing you did Mark ever see you so mad. You were always such a shy and introverted person; he didn’t think you were capable of such an intonation. He hated that he was the reason for your hostility and he was afraid that it was too late. It may have only been a week, but what you went through was enough to change your warm-hearted personality in to a cold and aggressive one. 

“Nothing will ever change the fact that you gave up on us—on me. If you knew there was a chance that your words would affect me the way that they did, then you wouldn’t have said anything at all; but you said it all without hesitation like you did mean it. I was coming to accept our breakup for what it was. Sure I was hoping you would come back; hell this is the closest I ever felt to God because I found myself praying every single day for him to show me a sign. For him to heal me and make it known that I would be okay. I’d be lying if I said I’m not the least bit content that you’re here but—I really don’t know what to make of that.” 

To your surprise, he made his way toward you and reached for your hands. As intimidated he was by how you were acting towards him, he knew he had to grow some balls and man up, or he would lose you forever and the tiny box that was in his pocket would no longer have any use. 

“I don’t know what to say or do that would explain how sorry I am and how much I wish I could go back in time and prevent any of this from happening. I don’t know how to stop you from hurting, and to get you to forgive me—I‘ll do anything to fix this y/n. Please—tell me what to do. I can’t—I can’t lose you. Tell me you don’t love me, and then I’ll—I’ll—fuck, there’s no way I can let you go. Please baby—you asked God for a sign and I came here tonight to try and fix my mistakes. That has to mean something right?” 

Hearing him sound so desperate, so willing to do whatever you wanted him to in order to bring your relationship back to what it was made you feel so many emotions. As much as you wanted him to give you some time to think, you knew you’d take him back. It was going to take some time to forgive him, and to get his words out of your mind completely, but Mark was everything you ever wanted for the rest of your life. 

Why were you going to continue suffering on your own and staying away from him when all you wanted was to have him back in your life? You cupped his cheek softly with your palm and placed a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. Feeling him smile against your lips sent a fire through your veins; Mark’s kisses always had quite the effect on you. His lips were so pink and so pretty and you loved every single moment that they were pressed against yours. 

“You can start by paying for my dry cleaning. I got a huge wine stain on the dress I was wearing because I got drunk.” He giggled in to your neck before placing a chaste kiss there. 

“Done. You silly girl. God, I missed you so much baby. I also think I have something that could win me some brownie points but I hope tonight ends the way last week should have.” 

The question of what he was referring to was at the tip of your tongue, but before you could emit anything, he was now kneeling on the ground right in front of you and pulled out a red box. Your heart began to race on a you put two and two together; he was going to propose to you. 

“I know, this is probably not how you wanted this to happen and I promise you I had different ways in mind on doing this—but after losing you, I realized that it didn’t matter how, where or when I would ask you to spend the rest of your life with me; all that matters is that I did. I was actually planning on proposing you at the beach once we were finished eating, but I chickened out like the coward that I am. And I guess I was irritated with myself and took it out on you that night and I know I said it so many times, but I will continue apologizing until I make up for all the pain I’ve put you through. I’m sorry y/n. I don’t deserve you—I don’t deserve being able to do this right now but this last week without you made me realize that I can’t live if I have to do it without you.” 

He grazed your wrist with his thumb and you were sure he did that to calm down his nerves, but it was so cute. You loved seeing him so flustered and so nervous and you loved knowing that you were the reason behind his now shy demeanor. 

“I’ve been in love with you for longer than I can remember. Every time I would drop you back home once we hung out back in high school, I felt this emptiness in my chest. Then I realized how much I loved hearing you laugh knowing that I was the reason behind it. I loved spending time with you and being around you. I loved the feeling I got whenever we were together. You and I can literally do nothing but I’m my happiest when I’m with you and that’s when I realized you were more than just a friend to me. These last few years with you have made me the happiest man alive. You mean everything to me baby—I wish I would’ve told you this sooner so we wouldn’t have wasted time apart but I’ll make up for it the rest of my life—if you let me of course. I’ll take good care of you my love. I’ll continue to love you and give you the world on a silver platter. Y/n, will you do me the greatest honor and marry me?” 

You were sure if someone else were in your shoes, they probably would’ve said no right off the bat. Heartbreak really did change a person. It made your whole aspect on life change for the worse and you knew you weren’t the same person you were a week ago. But you’ve dreamt about this situation on many accounts. There were times where you’d sleep over Mark’s place and you’d stay up looking at him in admiration and thinking about what your future together would look like. 

Sure, you would have preferred this surprise before all the unfortunate events that happened, but you were excited and speechless nonetheless. You sank to your knees and sat down on his lap; bringing your hands up to his face and pulling his lips up to yours. You couldn’t help the snicker that fell from the back of your throat when you felt a tear fall from his eyes on to your cheek. His hands were tight on your waist as he deepened the kiss, licking and sucking on your lips before all but gently shoving his tongue in between your teeth. When you felt his excitement pressing against your core, you pulled away and ignored the choked out whine that fell from his lips as you placed your forehead against his. 

“Yes. I would love to marry you Mark. I love you so much, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. Thank you for coming back to me love.” 

The way he was looking up at you pulled on your heartstrings; you couldn’t wait to tell your mom of the news. You knew she would probably hit you with “I told you so” but she would also be extremely happy for you. He abruptly stood up and took you with him, wrapping your thighs around his waist. You knew exactly what his plans were as he made his way to your room and you were excited to say the least at what he was going to do with you.

Once the two of you entered the bedroom, he didn’t waste anytime throwing you on to the bed and attacking your face with kisses as he ran his hands along your body; needing to touch you everywhere. Right as he began dragging his fingers along your clothed heat, he gripped at your chin and made sure you were making direct eye contact with him. 

“You know, since your door is already broken, I don’t see any problem in breaking your bed also—ow! What? You’re going to be my wife one day soon, so it’s only natural for me to want to fuck the living shit out of you in celebration of our engagement—I’m actually starting to reconsider this whole marriage thing. Give me back that ring, I’m gonna go sell it and buy me the PS5–“

“You wouldn’t dare Tuan, I’ll end you—“

“Just shut up and let me love you damnit.” 

You couldn’t stop the laughter that came after his little complaint. You still had yet to process that Mark was currently on top of you, ready to make love to you and to show you just how much he missed you. He playfully poked your cheek to break you out of your trance and squeezed your butt as a force of habit. 

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

“I’m just really happy, that’s all.”

 He gave you his signature cheeky grin and left a long, sloppy kiss on your lips. 

“Good. That makes the two of us, and that’s the only emotion you’re going to feel now that you’re stuck with me. Now, let’s make up for lost time shall we?”

Can you ask daddy if he's got time To come and look at my front door? It got slammed last night And now it don't close right And just promise that you won't tell him everything And keep that pistol in the drawer Mama, please don't say I'm gonna laugh about this someday You didn't see the way he drove away

How does he sleep at night? Mama, the nerve of this guy To leave me so easy Am I gonna be alright? I wanna kick myself for fallin' so hard Mama, can you die from a broken heart? Oh, a broken heart

Can your knees give out from prayin' so hard? (Prayin' so hard) Can you go blind from cryin' in the dark? (In the dark) Was it ever really real If he don't feel like I feel?

How does he sleep at night? Mama, the nerve of this guy To leave me so easy Am I gonna be alright?

How does he sleep at night? Mama, the nerve of this guy To leave me so easy Am I gonna be alright? I wanna kick myself for fallin' so hard Mama, can you die from a broken heart? A broken heart

[drawlfoy]

Mirror, Mirror P.5

masterlist (<- to read parts 1-4) request guidelines want to be tagged? 

pairing: draco x ravenclaw!reader

request: nope!

summary: y/n has admired draco from afar for a hot minute. what will happen when they’re finally paired up to do rounds together and run into the mirror of erised?

warnings: language, mentions of being very very ill, my terrible editing skills, way too much dialogue

a/n: here it is :) it’s been a bit. the finale will hopefully be posted this tues! i hope all of you guys have been continuing to social distance and i hope everyone reading this is healthy! also, important update: the first part of just a call away has been postponed until this monday (i originally expected it to be posted tomorrow but i’ve hardly been able to work on it at all). enjoy!

word count: 2.3k ;)

music recs:

permanent tags:  @gruffle1 @missmulti @cleopatera @hahaboop @accio-rogers @geeksareunique @eltanin-malfoy @war-sword @cams-lynn

tags for mirror, mirror:  @theres-a-dog-outside-omg​ @mey-rapp @kaibie @blackpinkdolan @sugarbby99

“Rena, I am going to kill you!” 

Y/N’s roommate looked up, the fear of Merlin struck into her eyes. The Transfiguration study guide in front of her lay entirely forgotten as she watched her friend slam the door and flop on the bed. “Oh?”

Y/N flung off her robe and tossed it on the floor. “When were you gonna tell me that you talked to Malfoy about me?” 

Her roommate narrowed her eyes, leaning forward in her chair and propping her chin up on her hand. “What are you talking about? He approached me and asked if you knew what the mirror was. I said you did. That was it.”

The venom seeped out of Y/N’s expression as the realization crept in.

“Oh. Oh, Rena, I’m sorry. I had no idea. He told me that you told him ‘everything’.”

“And you took a Slytherin’s word? Malfoy’s word? Honestly, Y/N, you give me a headache.” Rena sent a gentle smile her way. “What happened? Did you tell him?”

A sour feeling crept into Y/N’s chest as the memory she had suppressed on the walk to her dorm surfaced like bile in her throat. The rest of their shift was tense at best and downright agonizing at worst. Malfoy was uncharacteristically quiet, wringing his hands over and over again and scratching the back of his neck when he exhausted his wrists. Y/N knew that she was bright red by the time that they said their goodbyes--which really wasn’t much of a goodbye, just an uncomfortable nod before they parted ways to their respective dormitories--and cursed the fact that their ending spot was right under a torch. 

She would much rather prefer him to just straight up tell her he wasn’t into her; however, she supposed he technically did, that week or so ago in the Great Hall when he had told her he wasn’t into Ravenclaws.

Maybe I’m the one that needs to pull back. Maybe I’m actually the git in this situation and I’m making Malfoy feel uncomfortable.

“Yeah. I did.”

“And?”

“That’s it. He doesn’t feel the same way.” The words left her mouth feeling like heavy lead, weighing her breath down.

Rena stood up from her chair, her face softening. “He said that?”

“He didn’t say anything, really.”

“Well that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel the same way,” said her roommate. Her voice was painfully cheerful for Y/N. “Maybe he’s just nervous.”

Y/N offered a weak smile as she pulled her hair out of her ponytail and got up to rifle through her drawers to find something to sleep in. “It’s over, Rena. I don’t know why I’ve entertained this for so long. It wasn’t even a thing to begin with. I just want to go to bed.”

“All I’m saying is that he’s Malfoy, Y/N. I’ve literally never seen him flirt before in his life. I don’t think he knows how. Maybe he’s just being mean because he doesn’t know any other way?”

“I think I just want to stop thinking about it.” Y/N began changing into her nightclothes quickly with her back to Rena. “I want to go to bed and forgot about it and get my O on the Transfiguration exam tomorrow and just never think about rich daddy’s boys again. No matter how cute they look!”

Y/N tossed her old robes in her hamper, turning to Rena one more time with a blazing expression on her face that said I dare you to disagree.

“All I’m saying,” Rena said slowly, “Is that Malfoy didn’t seem like a total rat when he came up and asked me about you. It just seems strange that he would do that if he had no interest in you.”

“The only interest he has is in antagonizing me,” Y/N snapped. “He’s a class A git and I hate him.”

Rena raised an eyebrow, her expression slightly amused. “Whatever you say, Y/N. We can talk tomorrow morning. I think you need some sleep.”

oOo

Y/N’s dreams were torturous--just a loop, replaying over and over again, of her interactions with a certain Slytherin. She was dragged through her memories against her will, feeling the initial admiration of seeing him read in the courtyard for the first time, crumbling under the anxiety of their shift assignments, suffocating through the tension of their final meeting, reeling at the way his hair looked under the torch lights…

It was too much. She awoke with a pounding headache and a throat so sore that she may as well have swallowed a healthy spoonful of fire over the night. Her eyes hurt to open, like the edges of her eyelids had been lined with Dittany. 

“Merlin, Y/N, you look like shit.” A voice that sounded suspiciously like her roommate wafted from her right side, but she couldn’t be sure. “I’ve gotta get you to Madame Pomfrey.”

“Rena?” 

“Y/N?” 

If she hadn’t felt like she was toeing the line between the dead and the living she would’ve been sure that the tone in her roommate’s voice was tinged with amusement. She tried to croak something more out.

“Don’t worry, Y/N,” Rena cut in before she could try any harder. “I’ll be back in just a minute. Don’t try and get up, alright? You need your strength.”

Y/N nodded--or at least, she tried--and turned back into her pillow to sleep. A part of her mind registered that she had a Transfiguration exam today and then rounds that night with Malfoy, but as a cold bead of sweat ran down her spine, the thoughts were pushed to the back of her mind. He could wait. He’d already taken up her entire night by filling her dreams and she was not eager to see him again any time soon.

“Y/N?” The door creaked open and her roommate’s voice dragged her back to lucidity. “Hi girly. Can you walk?”

Y/N forced her eyes open and winced at the light filtering through the curtains. It was hardly light out, but the weak morning light sent pangs through her head. The heavy quilt that she had been burrowed under was lifted up off of her...and the shivers started.

Her entire body began shaking, her teeth clattering together so hard that she was afraid she would break them. She wondered if anyone had ever chipped their teeth from fever chills.

“Just swing your legs around the edge...yes, just like that…”

Rena’s hands held her shoulders with a firm grip as she shakily made her way to her feet, swaying slightly. 

“Fuck, Y/N, you’re absolutely shaking…”

“Mmmhmmm” was all Y/N had the sense to use as a reply.

“All you need to do is make it down the stairs. I can put you in a wheelchair and push you the rest of the way.”

“Love you,” Y/N mumbled as her friend guided her down the stairs. Even though she’d been walking up the stairs to her dorm for years, everything felt oddly foreign to her through her feverish haze.

“Love you t--whoa! Easy.” Rena caught Y/N from near demise as she almost missed a stair. “You’re almost there, doll. Just hold on a bit more.”

“I need you to....” find someone to cover my rounds tonight she tried to say, but the words caught on what felt like daggers in her throat as she felt the wall. 

“Focus on getting down the stairs,” Rena interrupted. “You can tell me once we’re on the way to Pomfrey’s.”

Finally, she made it down onto the last step and allowed herself to be guided into a seat. Exhausted from her trip, she slumped back in the chair and forgot about her request as she drifted back off into her feverish dreams.

This time, they were different. Instead of interactions that had actually happened, her brain took her through a different whirlwind of events. A flurry of sensations met her--a thumb dragging across her slightly parted lips, a chaste kiss placed on her neck, a hand softly squeezing hers, a warm breath fanning across her cheek, a pair of just barely blue eyes staring down at her with so much affection that her heart skipped, a rough hand shaking her shoulder, the sting of something pressing into her wrist (a wand, she thought absently), voices around her calling her name…

Her eyes shot open as she recoiled from a burst of unbearable cold across her chest. The ceiling of the infirmary wing greeted her. Her torso was wet, and once she cast her eyes down to the end of her bed, she could see why.

Madame Pomfrey stood next to Professor Trelawny and Headmaster Dumbledore, brandishing an empty bucket in her hand. 

“Thank goodness! She’s awake!”

Pomfrey sent Trelawny an irritated look as she rushed forth, muttering incantations and running diagnostic tests on Y/N’s body. 

“What...what happened?” she managed, trying to sit up.

“Stay down,” Pomfry commanded, turning to her nightstand to mix a concoction of various potion ingredients. 

“I just had the flu.”

Trelawny moved to the side of the bed to clasp her hand firmly in hers, a kind look in her loony eyes. “Miss Y/L/N, I’m afraid that wasn’t the case. You had an acute case of Dream Sickness. We’re lucky that you were able to wake up when you did. You’re even luckier that your roommate noticed and brought you down here.”

Y/N knitted her eyebrows together. “I’m sorry. Dream...what?”

“Dream Sickness,” the headmaster finished. “A very rare affliction that primarily affects the overthinkers in the wizarding community. Naturally, you Ravenclaws are at a higher risk than other students.”

“So who gave it to me?”

“No, dear,” said Trelawny. “It’s not contagious. It can happen to anyone, but it’s more common if you spent time around powerful magical artifacts. Have you?”

Y/N cringed at the thought. 

“Er...yes, I guess I have. I ran into the Mirror of Erised on one of my prefect rounds. I never lingered, though.”

“That would do it,” Dumbledore mused. “The mirror has a tendency of...inflaming emotions. I ought to locate it and put it in a safer place.”

“So I’m okay? I can go back to classes? I have a Transfiguration exam today, and I’d really like it if I could make it.”

“McGonagall’s Transfiguration exam, I presume?” he asked. 

“Yes. It’s later in the afternoon. I promise I’ll be careful!”

The adults beside her shared uncomfortable glances.

“Dear,” Trelawny began, “You’ve been here for two days.” 

The air was sucked out of her lungs as the realization kicked in. “But that’s impossible! I was only sleeping for a little bit. And I had rounds! How did I miss my rounds?”

Pomfrey seemed mildly sympathetic as she emptied the mixture she had been stirring into a crystal goblet and offered it to her. “It’s normal to be disoriented after a bout of Dream Sickness. Professor Flitwick is sure to understand the situation, and if he does not, I am willing to vouch for you. Now drink. You have some recovering to do.”

oOo

Rena Severjyn was always the confrontational type. It had been a shock to her as well as her family when she’d been sorted into Ravenclaw (with all the bookworms and the teachers’ pets, as her older brothers said to her) instead of Gryffindor, but she’d grown to love her house. Studying came more naturally than cliff-jumping, or whatever it was that Gryffindors did, but when it came down to it, she had no problem with telling someone off.

So when she ran across a deliciously alone Draco Malfoy reading in the courtyard, she had no trouble walking right up to him.

“Hey, arsehat.” She plopped down next to him as he started, nearly dropping the book on the gravel walkway. “We need to talk.”

“Severjyn,” he greeted, his tone even but his eyes flickering nervously. “Do you know where your roommate is? I had to do my rounds alone last night.”

“She’s in the hospital wing. But no matter. I want to know why you’re being such an intolerable prat to her.”

His mouth opened and closed a few times, clearly trying to cope with the fact that he was at a loss for words.

“Spit it out, Malfoy. I don’t have all day.”

“Is she okay? Did something happen to her?”

Rena rolled her eyes. “No, she just decided to spend more of her time around Pomfrey. Yes, something happened to her. She’ll be fine. You’re not answering my question.”

“I don’t understand.” The crease between his brow deepened with worry.

“She said she told you how she felt and you didn’t say anything about it!”

“I’m sorry. I just got nervous.”

“Are you dense?” Rena’s voice became shriller. “You told me yourself you fancied her, and you can’t even manage a measly ‘me too’? Even though you had the whole of fucking two hours to do it?”

A blush spread across his fair cheeks as he slammed his book closed and stood up. “It’s not that easy. You know it isn’t.”

“It’s never that easy. But she was able to do it, and you even told her that you weren’t into her! Honestly, I cannot believe you.”

“Please just…” Draco evaded eye contact, dropping his eyes to the floor and grinding his toes into the gravel. “Just leave me be. I promise I’ll talk to her once she’s better. Just don’t tell her, okay? I want to do this myself.”

Rena rolled her eyes. “You better.”

final a/n: finale is coming out soon! let me know what you thought :)