#oxy-chew

[aurorawritestoescape]

LOVERS ON THE RUN || 2,5k

Pt 3 of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang series

Tw: 18+ mdni, smut, angst, rough Joel/soft Joel cos I want it all, m!oral, injury(not reader), blood, cum eating, ball sucking, pussy grinding

Summary: it gets risky… and hot

A/n: hugs and kisses to @milla-frenchy for beta-ing and @iamasaddie for the gif <3<3

Series masterlist || Masterlist

*****

The sirens and gunshots are still ringing loudly in your ears as Tommy is driving Joel and you to a safe place. Yet you can only hope it’ll be safe.

You are sitting in the back of the car with Joel, still clutching the gun in your trembling hand, the other gripping Joel’s jean clad thigh as if grounding yourself to him. The bags with money are at your feet but you forgot all about them. Your widened eyes are fixed on the road. You don’t seem to be followed now but Joel taught you to expect the worst.

“Fuck! That was close!" you exclaim with a tint of hysteria in your loud voice, attempting to shout over the roaring engine of the car and your heart pounding in your ears. You're so high on adrenaline, fear and thrill that you feel invincible, almost immortal.

Tommy's nervous chuckle shows that he's on it too - the only drug that gets you off the best - escaping death with an armful of cash.

Just mere minutes ago you were standing on the brink of the precipice, one wrong move and you’d fall meeting your death. But destiny spared you once again.

“You two are fuckin’ lucky… I had that feeling.. couldn’t relax for shit. Came back and …fucking cops.”

“Thank you, Tommy.” You reach to him and pat his shoulder as he gives you a warm smile in the rear view mirror.

You glance at Joel and say with adoration and almost piety in your voice.

“And thanks to Joel’s number one rule.”

You and Tommy chant it together parodying his drawl, “Always have an escape plan!”

Joel smiles with a corner of his mouth. Your nerves alight, one glance at the man and you wish you two were alone so you could pierce yourself with his cock and ride him until your legs give out. Or suck him off, choking on his length and getting a new fix of adrenaline when you almost suffocate on his member.

But it’s not the place nor the time and Joel isn’t even looking at you.

His head turned to the window, his thoughtful gaze is sliding over the trees and streetlights you’re passing.

Finally the cloud of the high dissipates and you look at him. Really look at him. His forehead is glistening with sweat. He’s chewing on his lower lip and clenching and unclenching his right fist. He’s nervous.

Well he must be, you think, after what happened. Wishing to comfort him you scoot closer, bracing your hand on his chest and lean in to give him a kiss…

“Fuck!, “ Joel winces startling you by a sudden jerk of his whole body and in the next moment you feel the claws of something terrifying grip your heart.

“Where?” You ask with a shaky voice as your eyes are frantically searching all over his body.

He nods down and to the side and you notice his dark shirt stretched over his broad shoulder is glistening. His right arm, the furthest from you, is pressed tightly to his torso.

Your fingers dart to his shoulder but you stop and look at him, eyes screaming ‘What the fuck do I do, Joel?’ You’re frozen, trembling hands raised. You’d never raise them for the police like that but you’re doing it now, staring into the face of your biggest fear - losing him.

“ ‘s gonna be ok baby, don’t worry,” He says through clenched teeth.

The stupor you’ve been in disappears and your head whips to Tommy.

“Joel’s been shot! Floor it!”

*****

The next few minutes flew like a whirlwind of actions and feelings and at the same time dragged on like hours. When you finally arrived at some old abandoned garage you’d already done everything you could in the moving car.

Joel popped a couple of Oxys and now he’s sitting on a stool, shirt ripped off his shoulder exposing a bullet wound. You’re stitching him up, having sent Tommy outside to watch out.

Joel’s every muscle is taught, teeth clenched and he growls with every push of the needle through his skin. The sounds he's making don't let you concentrate. You feel sad for him but can't forget that he growls like that only buried deep in your tight wet heat.

“Can you stop?” you mumble under your breath.

“What?”

“Your growling?”

“Why?” He asks and growls again when you make another stitch.

You shrug and feel him staring at your face, reading you.

It doesn’t take him long, never does, and you hear a soft chuckle coming from the pits of his chest. You glance at him, meeting his narrowed eyes and a shit eating smirk.

“Dirty girl, soakin’ your panties while your man is sufferin’, huh?”

“I’m the one who’s suffering here,” You reply earning another chuckle from him. “And I’m not soaking anything”.

“Should I check, baby?” He smirks tilting his head to the side.

“Jesus, Joel,” you whisper trying to hide that he’s right.

“Don’t call for him yet. I ain’t dead”.

You freeze with a bloody needle hovering over his skin. You can’t see it anymore, your vision gets blurry with tears. You try to hide your face from Joel leaning closer to the wound. But he notices.

“Hey,” he cups your face with the hand he can use, pulling you closer to his face and wipes your tears away with a calloused thumb.

“I’ll be ok, baby.”

“You don’t know it”.

“I do. It’s just a graze”

“No, it’s not. The fucking bullet went through you! You were bleeding so much and.. and …”, you cut yourself off suffocated by the fear.

“Hey,” Joel says and grabs your shoulder, “You stopped it. You did good, ya hear me?”

“Yeah,” you mumble, glistening eyes downcast.

“Look at me,” he asks gently, his gaze is warm and comforting, “Thank you, baby”.

You jerk your head in a nod and a tear falls down on his hand.

“I’m almost done.”

You continue your work in silence.

When it’s done and his arm is secured in a makeshift sling, you take some water from the car to clean yourself off the dark crimson blood. Joel’s blood. Then you start carefully wiping away the red off his big hands and can't help but imagine the world where these hands can’t hold you anymore, can’t wipe away your tears, can’t make you come, can’t be kissed by your loving lips. The wave of panic covers you whole again and you burst into tears.

Immediately embracing you with his healthy arm, no matter the pain he must be in, Joel holds you close kissing wherever he can reach, your hair, eyes, nose, cheeks. No one would believe that this big brutal man could be so gentle and soft.

“I’m s-sorry”, you hiccup after a few minutes of crying on Joel’s healthy shoulder. Your body is still trembling against his and you hate yourself for letting your fear get the best of you.

“Shh.. it’s ok, sweetheart. I’m here. We’re safe,” Joel whispers, pressing you closer to his naked chest peeking from his ripped shirt.

“We aren’t safe, Joel. Not after today.”

“Always have an escape plan, right, baby?”

“You think it’s time? Did we save up enough?”

“Yeah, baby. Enough for us and for Tommy. Can’t wait to see you in that micro bikini you promised me,” he groans in your ear and you quietly giggle. You press your cheek to his broad chest and furrow your brows in thought. You love this life, always have, but you can’t deny that your luck has run out. Going on will be like driving your car towards the edge of the cliff at full speed. With a pang in your heart you realize that it’s time to take another road while you still have each other.

You straighten up, check Joel’s shoulder and arm again and then look deep into his eyes. He notices myriads of thoughts swirling in your mind, wraps his heavy hand around the back of your neck and lightly squeezes.

“If you need somethin’ to calm down…?”

“I can’t smoke now… need clear mind.”

“I ain’t talking about weed, baby”.

“What then?”

“Oh, think, sweetheart. What always helps, huh?” He moves his hand to your face and his thumb brushes your lower lip.

You look confused, head tilted to the side, until he pushes his thick finger into your mouth. Your eyes sparkle with excitement while you’re sucking on his thumb.

“Good girl. C’mon now. Get on your knees.”

He pulls the finger out and you lower yourself kneeling between his legs.

“Sure I won’t hurt you?”

“I’ll be fine. Take what you need, sweetheart,” he replies, spreading his thighs wider for you.

Your heart sings and pussy tingles as you slowly open his jeans, tug them down to the middle of his hips and pull out his soft heavy package.

You press your cheek to his warm crotch and feel his cock twitch. You don’t do anything for a few moments, just breathe in his musk and purr into his soft lightly trimmed hair. Joel’s petting your head and you sink into a trance, as he holds you close.

When you’re ready for more, you start leaving open mouth kisses to his inner thighs, balls, shaft, tip. With every touch of your lips, you feel him grow bigger, stiffer, harder and you can’t help but whine feeling yourself gush. So you start grinding your clothed pussy against your booted heel, desperate for any pressure.

You look up at Joel with your doe eyes, full of devotion and love and he groans, scooting closer to the edge of the seat.

“Go ahead, baby. Suck on it. It’ll calm ya right up.”

You know it will. So you take his already hard cock in your hand and latch on the fat tip. Your eyes flutter shut as soon as precome hits your tongue. You hum as you lick it off him and then take his length deeper into your hot mouth. In a few moments you’re already drooling around him, soaking his cock with your saliva while your warm palms gently caress his heavy balls.

“Fuck… yeah, baby,” Joel groans making your pussy ache with need.

When his cock is nice and wet you pull your mouth away replacing it with your hand and bend lower to suck on the velvet skin of his sack. You trace its seam with the tip of your tongue and take a ball in your mouth. You roll it with your tongue and then suck. Joel’s huge fist clutches your hair, not too hard but enough to signal you to keep going. You suck one into your mouth, slurp and lick around it and then part from it with a pop.

“Hnggg…That’s my girl,” Joel praises you through growls when you start working on the other ball. Your hands aren’t resting, one clasped around his long cock, sliding up and down from the girthy base to the throbbing head, as the other caresses the other ball.

You’re burning up with arousal and not being able to contain yourself, you grind, grind, grind your aching pussy against your heel.

Joel lightly tugs at your hair to get your hazy half lidded eyes to look at him and chuckles when you do,

“Shit, look at ya. Already gone just from suckin’ on my sack.”

You let go of his ball with a pop and his cock twitches in your hand. A clear drop beads on the slit and you lick it off, not tearing your eyes from the man.

“Yeah, now onto the main course, sweetheart,” he groans with a smirk.

You smile back, licking your lips as your hand returns to his sack.

“Don’t hold back, Joel. Please.”

You don’t think it’s possible but his gaze turns even darker, completely obsidian with lust, his cock is throbbing as you’re holding it at the base.

“Ya got it, baby”.

His hand, soft and gentle just a second ago, grabs your hair tight and pulls you closer. You gasp as your lips smash into his warm head but you don’t hesitate to open them and take more and more of his cock, until your nose touches his dark pubic hair. Your throat is trying to accommodate his length, eyes are welling up with tears, fingers gripping his thighs. He fills you so well that all the fears are quickly pushed out of your head by him. You nearly suffocate on his thick cock, squirming between his thighs but he’s holding you tight.

“Keep it in, baby, ya doing so good…”

Your throat contracts around him and he pulls you off with a curse. You cough, swallowing air, drooling all over yourself while he’s holding you by your hair like a dog on a leash.

“Gonna make me come too fast… lemme enjoy this mouth of yours.”

Your mind has already shut down, all your actions, senses, emotions are focused on pleasuring him.

Your mouth is on his cock again, tongue pushing on the underside as you slide up his length and swirl it around his fat head. You’re drunk on Joel, his taste, sounds, scent, his essence is inside you, around you, everywhere. He’s your whole world and they almost took him from you. Angry tears roll out of your eyes while you hollow your cheeks and bob your head up and down, in control of his pleasure but completely under his power. You feel his cock stiffen and then it starts pulsating in your mouth. You take him deeper and drink his cum as Joel is spurting it generously right into your throat. With another roll of your hips against your boot you come, moaning around his length in your mouth, seeing stars behind your eyelids. When he discards of the last drop of his seed, he coos over you,

“Oh, baby, did your little pussy come already?”

Not waiting for the answer, Joel roughly tugs on your hair again, dull pain making you whine, lifts your head off his softening cock and finally sees your face, stained with fresh tears.

“Fuck, baby, c’mere,” he pulls you up on your feet wincing at the pain in his shoulder. You immediately push your face into the crease of his neck, trying not to hurt him, breathing him in. He turns to you and his lips find yours. You kiss each other, desperately and feverishly, like it’s the last time before your old life ends and you meet a new beginning together.

Joel holds you tight one second and in the next his arm falls and his whole weight slumps on you. With his name on your trembling lips, you see his eyes roll back and then close.

*****

Thank you for reading! 🌸

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Series Masterlist

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[bullet-prooflove]

Two Years: Michael "Mikey" Berzatto x Reader

Tagging: @mckinleysbones @savemeaimeemann @wabi-sabi1090 @trublu2u @navs-bhat

Companion piece to:

Mess - Mikey tries to prove to you both he made the right decision by leaving.

A Fucking Saint - Mikey thinks you're a fucking saint for putting up with him all these years.

Tomorrow - A chance run in at the grocery store leads Mikey to break a bad habit.

The Diagnosis - Mikey recieves an explaination regarding his behaviour and addiction issues.

Save It (NSFW) - Mikey tries to apologise for all the terrible shit he's done over the years.

Wild - You and Mikey have discuss three things you love about him.

In the aftermath of Mikey’s diagnosis, he starts to fall in love again, not with you, that was never in question, but with the life the two of you begin to build together.

The mornings he wakes up tangled up in you, your bare skin pressed against his as the sun filters in through the blinds. The breakfast he makes while you’re in the shower because his baby needs to keep her strength up if she’s going to get through the day teaching all those pint sized hellions.

On your days off the two of you tour the city, hand in hand, in search of the best gelato, the best cannoli, the donut. You argue the merits of each one, devising your own scoring system. In the evenings he watches the TV with his head in your lap, your fingers combing lightly through his hair. It’s the most content and most stable he’s been in years.

It starts to bleed into his work life. He becomes more organised. Invoices get paid on time, the atmosphere more jovial. The Beef starts to turn over a profit again and finally it feels like Mikey can breathe.

It continues like that for almost two years, right up until the accident.

The two of you are driving back from the movie theatre when a drunk driver hurtles right through a red light and careens into your car. Mikey will never forget waking up to the scent of copper and gasoline, your lifeless eyes staring back at him.

Killed on impact, he's told later, his head still spinning from the concussion.

He falls apart after that, starts drinking again. He swaps his bipolar medicine for Oxy because Mikey, he can’t cope with all of the grief that boils up inside of him. Every day it simmers underneath the surface of his skin, gnawing at his insides, chewing up his heart.

It should have been me, he tells Richie as he stands on the bridge where he’d written both of your names onto a padlock and clipped it to the mesh. It should have been me that was killed in that crash.

It’s that night he finds himself in his mother’s bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror. He’s started staying here again because he can’t stand the thought of going back to the house the two of you shared. His hand comes to rest on the gun residing on the vanity. It feels heavier today, more weighty. He knows that’s because he hadn’t taken the bullets out this time.

He closes his eyes and he remembers that smile, the one that used to light up his entire world and he starts to cry because his memory, it doesn’t do the real thing any justice. It doesn’t feel like the sun warming his skin, or fill his heart with lightness. It just hurts, it hurts so fucking bad he just wants the pain to stop and he knows there’s only one way to do it.

“I'm on my way baby.” He whispers as he raises the gun to his temple, his finger squeezing the trigger. “I’m on my way.”

Love Mikey? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[fantasticenthusiasttale]

Della Duck coming back from the Moon after ten years of isolation, chewing Oxy-chew everyday to survive and cutting off her own leg to build a prosthetic one later: Ha! Imagine dying, couldn't be me

[stickmenlover]

Humanizations of Donald, Della and Gosalyn ig, idk

A headcanon that Della's hair was originally black but became white because of Gyro's oxy-chew, radiation and some other stuff

I tried my best to make Della and Donald look alike but I don't think I was successful 😔

I thought I would only rewatch Ducktales 2017, but I ended up becoming obsessed with it

Also I really tried to draw the 2017 version of Gosalyn but I just couldn't, she looks weird and I wasn't sure if I should've drawn her as a child or a teenager, also I feel like she should be black but I want to draw her as a ginger too help 😭

[ducktoonsfanart]

Ducktales Crew in spacesuits in space on the Moon - Ducktales kids, teenagers and adults on the Moon - Happy Moon Landing and Happy Independence Day of the USA - Gift for my friend - Ducktales in Space (Ducktales AU) - Tribute to Ducktales 2017 - Second part

Although I already drew Ducktales characters in spacesuits on the moon last year, still because of Landing Moon Day which is held on July 20th every year and this year is the 55th anniversary of human walking on the moon, I drew somehow a similar drawing, in my own way, in my own style where the Ducktales characters are on the moon in spacesuits.

Astronauts Neil Armstrong, Edwin Buzz Aldrin and Michael Collins who led the Apollo 11 crew in the Saturn V rocket from July 16 to July 24, 1969, with July 20 and 21 being Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin walked on the moon and were the first people to walk on the moon and brought great pride to the USA and to all mankind. July 20 and 21, 1969 were the significant dates when people were on the moon for the first time. And those are the days of Moon Landing. After the crew of Apollo 11, the crew members of Apollo 12-17 will go and walk on the moon, until 1972, except for Apollo 13. Unfortunately, after more than 50 years, people reportedly did not go to the moon due to numerous problems with the construction of further rockets, but lately there is a race to the moon again, so maybe in the near future people will go to the moon again, unless they are faking it. Space travel is back in fashion. And 55 years have passed since the first walk on the moon.

You can see a similar previous drawing here: https://ducktoonsfanart.tumblr.com/post/732385519766487040/ducktales-crew-in-spacesuits-on-the-moon-in-space

I didn’t manage to draw Ducktales characters from head to toe in spacesuits, but certainly the special way I imagine Ducktales 2017 is that they wear spacesuits like Sandy Cheeks from Sponge Bob, I just reshaped it in my own way and these suits can be used and for traveling under water, in volcanic regions and protection against pandemics. Yes, they wear bubble helmets, which are actually glass-proof. This time is the second part of Ducktales 2017 characters with family members and their friends, since not everyone could fit in the previous drawing. Anyway, check out the previous drawing from Ducktales 2017 crew in spacesuits on the Moon part one: https://ducktoonsfanart.tumblr.com/post/756620890157056000/ducktales-crew-in-spacesuits-in-space-on-the-moon

Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera and Gandra Dee drive the moon rover (I love how Fenton and Gandra are together so I drew them sticking together), Scrooge McDuck in his vintage spacesuit holds moon ore filled with diamonds and gold found on the moon, and Violet holds a banner along with Daisy's nieces April, May and June Duck and mostly writes this: "We are the first ducklings on The Moon. One small step for ducklings, one big step for ducks!" If you understand this sentence. ;) What Neil Armstrong said when he walked on the moon on July 20, 1969. And that Louie Duck took photos with his android mobile phone (see previous drawing) of these characters to mark the new event and the big anniversary of 55 years ago. And Gyro keeps an Oxy-Chew just in case he runs out of oxygen in his space suit. As for Daisy's nieces as I imagine them in Ducktales 2017, see here: https://ducktoonsfanart.tumblr.com/post/743089775258615808/april-may-and-june-duck-as-teenagers-quack-pack

And that's how I imagine these characters in my version of Ducktales 2017 (Ducktales AU) and in my version of the Quack Pack reboot if it was a sequel to Ducktales 2017. Yes, Boyd is holding the US flag since it's also Independence Day which is celebrated in the US every 4th of July. , and the Americans were the first on the moon, allegedly. While the others wear symbols of the USA, Gladstone wears the flag of Ireland on his space suit, because after all Ireland represents the country of lucky. ;) This drawing features Violet Sabrewing, April, May and June Duck, Boyd Gearloose (Boyd Beaks), Kabooie Duck (5th Donald's nephew wearing a brown space suit and how I imagine him in DT17), Scrooge McDuck, Gladstone Gander, Fethry Duck, Drake Mallard, Launchpad McQuack, Bentina Beakley and Gyro Gearloose.

I hope you like this drawing and this idea and feel free to like and reblog this, just don’t use these same ideas of mine without mentioning me. Thank you! Also this is dedicated to my friend @ducksinspaceadventure, who organized Moon Landing Day. Happy Independence Day everyone and Happy Moon Landing Day! And the 55th anniversary of walking on the Moon!

[shewhowantsmouseears]

Still tastes better than black licorice oxy-chew.

based off a meme + rp shenanigans with friends - Young Xehanort is starting a chess club, and Della... probably shouldn't join. rather satisfied with the hands this time around.

[chronicbitchsyndrome]

would you be willing to talk about your surgery & recovery experience with tonsilectomy? i know i probably need mine taken out lol but the surgeon who told me that also said that it would be very painful and so now im scared. but ive had lots of surgery so i would like to know if other disabled ppl with lots of pain experience also rate it

YES hello i am VERY happy to talk about this because i had the slickest recovery known to man due to how i took IMPECCABLE care of myself and had a great surgeon who actually follows best practices for recovery instead of throwing ibuprofen at you and telling you to start eating again the same day (true story from the trenches).

so the surgery itself was extremely simple, it's outpatient, you go in, it takes a couple hours, you wake up completely out of it from the anesthesia and awkwardly attempt to drink water while feeling approximately like you just did four shots of vodka and then somehow you end up in your ride's car and go home. honestly the surgery itself was a blip in my day.

the recovery itself is pretty painful, i'm not going to lie. i was prescribed almost two weeks' worth of oxycodone in addition to NSAIDs, acetaminophen, and a healing mouth rinse. this is because, again, i had a competent and compassionate surgeon, which is at a premium in the health care industry. many surgeons will not prescribe opioids whatsoever because of anti-addict bias and severe ingrained ableism. i am not going to lie, i do not think i would have managed without the oxy, and i don't regret using every single dose of it. i also overloaded on THC every night during recovery, it helped significantly with the inflammation.

the pain itself doesn't feel worse than a bad case of strep throat, and if you're getting regular severe tonsillitis, you'll be used to the level of pain this is. i hovered between a 5 and a 7 on the pain scale for the vast majority of the recovery, which was pretty typical for my tonsillitis episodes as well, and the oxy turned that pretty much entirely manageable.

PRO GAMER TIPS THAT MADE MY RECOVERY SO SMOOTH:

bed rest. one week minimum. do not lift anything heavy or strain your muscles significantly (i.e. working out, cardio). two weeks minimum. you do NOT want to pop a scab early. you will bleed into your throat and it will be miserable and scary and you will have to go to the ER. take the post-surgical rest period seriously.

get a humifidier, put that thang right beside your bed, run it full blast. you want to keep your scabs as moist as possible. yes i know that's gross. no you don't want dry crunchy scabs in your THROAT.

drink as much water as you possibly can, even if it hurts; this is what i attribute most of my quick and easy recovery to. i was sipping on that shit 24/7. if you don't let your scabs dry out to begin with, this is much easier because you don't go through a period of it feeling like literally swallowing broken glass, although it hurts to swallow no matter what.

meal replacement drinks are a lifesaver! i got soylent. i could start eating soft solid foods again after the first couple of days, but i still relied heavily on soylent for a lot of my calories until halfway through the second week.

until you're able to eat mostly normally, DO NOT eat or drink anything: acidic, carbonated, spicy, or overly salty. please trust me. please. you don't want to. i prommy.

you don't have to be on a liquid-only diet for long, but soft foods are necessary until your scabs heal enough that swallowing isn't overly painful. cold is going to feel a lot better than hot. apart from soylent, i relied on mashed potatoes, jello, popsicles, ice cream, and soft pastas. once i got past the first couple days, i added soft well-chewed quesadillas, burritos, lasagna, that kind of thing. a lot of people can get away with going back to solids very quickly as long as they don't eat anything crunchy/sharp and chew their food VERY, STUPIDLY thoroughly.

finally, i would also recommend checking out the r/tonsillectomy subreddit. their resources and anecdotes were lifesavers and got into way more granular detail than i ever could hope to cover in a tumblr post.

i also got a fungal infection in my mouth right after the end of my recovery period, which wasn't either my or my surgeon's fault but it WAS the worst pain i had ever felt in my life. watch out for post-surgical infections; the antibiotics they put you on make you more susceptible to fungal infections in particular in the following weeks. if something seems off, DO NOT wait or put it off, contact your surgical team as soon as you possibly can and honestly if it's off in a pain-or-bleeding way just preemptively head to the ER as soon as you can (most surgical teams give you an option to contact them if you do this, so you can call ahead and someone on the actual team can see you there instead of an ER nurse).

finally, i just want to say: this surgery was 100% worth it. i have been sick exactly once since surgery five months ago, and it was a mild cold that only lasted two days and didn't present with throat pain whatsoever. i can breathe, i don't snore, i don't have panic attacks because i feel like my throat is closing up. you have no idea how absolutely unreachable and unrealistic this all seemed last year; i thought i straight up just couldn't ever go to a party or have a hookup again without being bedbound for a week and a half afterwards. and now i... can? i feel so much better and i would unequivocally recommend the two weeks of drugged-out malaise and mashed potatoes and pain in exchange for a lifetime of eased agonies. and again--the pain was extremely comparable to a pre-op episode of tonsillitis for me.

this was sort of all over the place because you asked a very general question, but please feel free to ask any follow-ups you want! if you'd like to chat one-on-one i can give ya my main URL, too (i share this blog with someone so there's no DMs here, sorry)

[korkorali]

Headcanon time- Della’s worst nightmare is one where she and all her kids are on the moon, and she can breathe (because she’s got Oxy-Chew) but her kids can’t (because they don’t)

And every time she’d try to dig the Oxy-Chew out of her mouth to give to them, but because dream it’d always be juuuuuust out of reach. No matter how far back she dug, her fingers would only ever just glance against the gum

She always has to go immediately spend time with her kids after these ones

[luckyduckwrites]

The Moon Chapter 2-9: Happy Birthday, Doofus Drake!

Fandom: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Della Duck (Disney) & Original Character(s), Dewey Duck & Donald Duck & Huey Duck & Louie Duck (Disney) & Original Character(s), Lena (Disney: DuckTales) & Webby Vanderquack & Original Character(s), Violet Sabrewing (Disney) & Original Character(s), Scrooge McDuck & Original Character(s)

Characters: Della Duck (Disney), Dewey Duck (Disney), Donald Duck (Disney), Huey Duck (Disney), Louie Duck (Disney), Scrooge McDuck, Webby Vanderquack, Lena (Disney: DuckTales), Violet Sabrewing (Disney), Penumbra (Disney: DuckTales), Lunaris (Disney: DuckTales), Gibbous (Disney: DuckTales), Zenith (Disney: DuckTales), Original Trans Character(s)

Additional Tags: Original Character-centric, No Romance, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Older Sibling Huey Duck (Disney), Older Sibling Dewey Duck, Sensitive Louie Duck (Disney), Dewey Duck Has ADHD (Disney), Aromantic Asexual Dewey Duck (Disney), Protective Huey Duck (Disney), Autistic Huey Duck (Disney), Anxious Huey Duck (Disney), Good Sibling Huey Duck (Disney), Good Parent Della Duck (Disney), Della Duck Tries (Disney), Della Duck Needs a Hug (Disney), Della Duck has ADHD (Disney), Protective Della Duck (Disney), Della Duck Has PTSD (Disney), Minor Della Duck/Penumbra (Disney: DuckTales), POV Original Character

Summary:

My name is Clover Duck. My mom accidentally took my egg with her on the rocket, and we got stuck on the moon. I've only ever seen the vast nothing of the moon, but the colors on Earth look like they would be beautiful. Mom and I chew a gum called Oxy-Chew that allows us to breathe, and it gives us the nutrients we need to survive. My mom tells me that I have three brothers on Earth, and I can't wait to meet them!

A/N: After A Nightmare on Kilmotor Hill, Clover uses the name Lucky and uses he/him. Please respect that in the comments after that chapter.

**AO3 & Wattpad links in masterpost pinned to the top of the blog**

I wake up to hear someone talking in a hushed voice across the hall and decide to investigate. I sneak across the hall silently and peek inside my brothers’ room to find Louie talking to someone on the phone.

The second he hangs up the call, I ask, “Who were you talking to?”

Louie jumps, saying in a nervous voice, “Uh, nobody you know!”

I raise an eyebrow in suspicion and curiosity, and Louie sighs, admitting, “Ok, fine. I was calling someone so she can teach me to be a better businessman.”

I keep my eyebrow raised for a moment, then smile, saying, “Alright, cool. Can I join you? She must be smart if she’s gone into business for herself.”

Louie rolls his eyes, saying, “Fine. Just this one time.”

I shrug, following him to Uncle Scrooge’s office where he said the lady, Goldie, would meet him. She eventually arrives, and she sits down in Uncle Scrooge’s office chair and turns it around before telling us to hide. She said Scrooge’ll be back soon and she wants to surprise him. I guess they know each other somehow.

After a few minutes of waiting, we hear Uncle Scrooge’s voice in the hall, “I’ve checked the whole blasted mansion. What can it be?”

Goldie tosses one of Uncle Scrooge’s coins in the air when he enters the room, then turns the chair around, calmly greeting him, “Morning, Scroogey.”

Uncle Scrooge exclaims, “Goldie?! What’re you doing here?!”

Louie and I come out from behind the window curtains, and Louie says, “She’s with me.”

I add, “And I’m just here to hang out with Louie.”

We walk into the hallway, and Uncle Scrooge angrily exclaims, “Why?! How?! Why?!”

Louie responds, “Your whole ‘work really hard, make money square’ thing doesn’t really work for me. Goldie’s ‘make money easy with no downsides’ works much better with the Louie Incorporated brand.”

I mutter, “What the heck’s Louie Incorporated?”

Goldie reaches for something on a shelf, and Uncle Scrooge shoves her hand away, saying, “Hands off, you common thief.”

She instead sneaks a hand into Uncle Scrooge’s pocket and nabs a few coins, holding them in her open palm.

Uncle Scrooge snatches the coins back, adding, “Don’t let her get too close, kids.”

Louie leads Goldie and I back toward his room, stating, “Oh, please. I’m a professional! I can handle this.”

The second we get to Louie’s room, Goldie jumps us, locking Louie in an empty treasure chest and tying me to a chair. Mom taught me how to escape capture when I was much younger, so I could easily get out of this, but I’m honestly curious what Goldie’s up to as I watch her grab little trinkets from Louie’s desk.

Louie exclaims from inside the chest, “How did this go so wrong so quickly?!”

I say, “I don’t know, you’re the one who invited her. I’m just kinda here for the chaos now.”

Goldie grabs a large golden idol from Louie’s desk and puts it in her purse, saying, “Rule number one, kids; if you want to pick a pocket, you’ve gotta get close.” She steps on a creaky floorboard and kicks the rug off of it, opening the floorboard to investigate as she adds, “Better luck next time, rookies.”

Louie takes offense to that, exclaiming, “Rookie?! I’ll have you know I am the evil quadruplet, okay?”

Goldie mocks as she roots through his wastebin, “Sure, you’re the scariest bunny in the pet shop. Let me guess, you see all the angles? You’re sharper than the sharpies? Didn’t see this angle, Sharpie.”

I add, “I kinda gotta agree with her on this one, Louie. Sorry.”

I then hear Louie start crying inside the treasure chest, saying, “Louie Incorporated is my dream, but no one believes that I can do it. I- I know I’ll never be able to work harder than Scrooge, but I- I thought maybe I could learn to be clever like you, my- my hero.”

What is this baloney? That is so fake.

Goldie sits on top of the chest, saying, “Not bad. Was that a Crocodile Waterworks?”

Louie drops the fake sadness, responding, “The Hero’s Guilttrip mixed with a Lone Wolf Gambit.”

I look on in confusion as Goldie says, “You know your cons, but your sister sure doesn’t seem to.”

I ask while Goldie reads a golden slip of paper she found in Louie’s wastebin, “What the heck are these names? Some kind of codeword?”

Goldie responds, “Kinda. Not like a straight-arrow like yourself would know, Rook.”

I ask, “What does that even mean?”

She then smirks and opens the treasure chest Louie’s in.

He pops out, asking, “So you’ll teach me?”

Goldie responds, holding up the golden slip of paper to him, “Only if you can get me in here.”

Louie looks fearful, and shuts himself back inside the treasure chest, exclaiming, “No! No way! Not Doofus Drake’s birthday!”

I quickly untie myself, and snatch the card out of Goldie’s hand to read it. The card reads, ‘Doofus Drake’s septleventh birth anniversary. Join the obscenely rich and the richly obscene. This invitation is to Llewellyn Duck, his parent or guardian, and any siblings that wish to join him’.

Goldie looks surprised at how fast I freed myself and asks, “How did you do that?”

I shrug, responding, “Mom taught me how to do that. She said we’d probably run into some Beagle Boys or somebody that’d want to capture us, so she taught me how to get out of ropes.”

Goldie asks, “Well, then, why didn't you do that before?”

I respond, “Like I said, I’m kinda just here for the chaos right now and to hang out with my brother.”

Goldie says, “Y’know, I’ve been meaning to ask about that. When I met your brothers last year, I didn’t see you there at all and nobody mentioned you.”

I respond, “Oh, I was still on the moon with my mom last year. We didn’t get back to Earth until a couple months ago.” Goldie raises an eyebrow like she didn’t believe me, and I add, “I actually grew up there. Mom took a rocket Uncle Scrooge built on a test drive over a decade ago not knowing my egg was on board and we crash-landed, stranded there until we finally met some kind Moonlanders who helped us fix up our ship and get home.”

Goldie shrugs, saying, “I don’t buy that for a second, but I guess anything’s possible with the McDuck family.” She knocks on the treasure chest and says, “Come on, Llewellyn. If you want to learn from me, you’ll have to get me into that party.”

Louie reluctantly comes out of the treasure chest, and agrees to go. We all get dressed up in nice clothes, and Louie lets me borrow one of his suits since I don’t really have any formalwear. Goldie and I follow behind Louie to get to Doofus’s house and we go up an elevator to where the party’s being held.

The elevator doors open and there are a lot of Beagle Boys among the guests in odd outfits. There’s also a blonde-haired bird man dressed in a purple suit and holding a cane like Uncle Scrooge, Mark Beaks is taking a selfie with a small parrot boy on his back, a duck woman carrying a tray of drinks, Glomgold talking to a hand-puppet that looks like a teenage version of him, and Johnny from Louie’s favorite show is dressed like a child and licking a lollipop next to the guy dressed in purple.

Louie tries to hide in the elevator, but Goldie shoves him forward. A Beagle Boy pulls a plank of wood out of his mouth, a sign behind him by a large tub of water reading ‘bobbing for splinters’.

Louie gestures at a cake and reads what’s written on top in icing, “‘Not full of hair’? The fact he has to say it…” He then gasps at the sight of the party favor table, exclaiming, “There’s got to be-”

Goldie says in unison with him, “457 million dollars and seventeen cents-”

Louie finishes on his own,”Worth of stuff here!”

I ask, “How do you know that just from a cursory glance at it?”

Louie shrugs, saying, “Hey, you know nerd stuff like Huey, and I know how much things are worth.”

Louie attempts to take a party favor bag, but his hand is smacked away by the duck woman.

She says, “Gift bags for guests as they depart, full of priceless heirlooms from Doofus’s beloved Guhmeemama Frances.”

She and a duck man chant creepily, “Guhmeemama.”

A gong rings, and the duck man says, “The hour is at hand.”

I mutter sarcastically, “Ugh, that’s not creepy at all.”

Louie says to me, “Yeah, and those are Doofus’s parents. Great party, can’t wait to tell my therapist about it when I’m older!”

He grabs two bags and shoves them at me before grabbing two more and grabbing my wrist, tugging me with him to the elevator.

He adds, “Bye!”

Goldie stops us and brings the bags back to the table, saying, “Nope.”

I ask, “Why not? I’m already creeped out, so I’m all for just leaving now.”

Louie adds, “Pretend to be family, bolt with the gift bags. That’s the con!”

He reaches for the bags again, but Goldie smacks his hand away, saying, “No, that’s just being a bad party guest. Besides, we’re not common thieves, we’re con artists, not including your sister. And we’re getting all the bags.”

Louie asks, “And how are we supposed to do that?”

Goldie responds, “If I told you the whole plan upfront, you’d never learn anything. Also, I don’t know yet.”

I ask, “What, so you’re just gonna make it up on the spot?”

Goldie shrugs, saying, “Yeah, pretty much. It’s how plenty of great cons go, Rook.”

Doofus’s dad announces, a giant seashell rising in the pool while Doofus’s mom plays a harp, “Ladies and gentlemen, I give you perfection. I give you grace. I give you the universe’s perfect widdle angel, Doofus Drake.”

The seashell opens, but is empty, and a creepy voice behind us says, “Hello, Llewelyn.”

Louie turns around and screams in fear, then covers in a fake congratulatory voice, “I mean, happy birthday!”

So this creepy kid must be Doofus. Great. I don’t really want to spend who knows how long interacting with him, but if that’s what it takes to finally hang out with Louie, then I’ll do it.

Doofus says, “It warms my heart to see all my wonderful friends and your loving parents.” He nearly knocks Louie and I into the pool, but Goldie grabs our hands and helps us from falling in as Doofus continues, “It reminds me of my dear departed Guhmeemama…”

His parents chant, “Guhmeemama.”

Doofus adds, “The only parent I’ve ever known.”

Doofus’s dad asks, “Why does he hurt me?”

Doofus’s mom responds in a hurtful tone, “You know why.”

What the heck is wrong with this weird family? I mean, obviously a lot.

Doofus exclaims angrily, “Unfortunately, there are filthy liars in our midst only after my gift bags!”

Louie tries to hide behind Goldie and I try to leave, but Goldie moves aside so Louie isn’t able to hide and grabs my wrist to prevent me from leaving.

Doofus walks up to the guy in a purple suit, exclaiming, “Percival P. Peppington!”

He starts sniffing the man all over, and I ask, “What… in the world… is he doing?”

Louie whisper-shouts in response, “He can smell lies!”

I mutter, “Oh, boy. Well, we’re done for.”

Goldie says, “Not quite yet. Just do as I say and we’ll be fine.”

Doofus says, “Percival, you disappoint me. If you’re going to hire an actor to pretend to be your son, at least hire a child actor!”

Johnny exclaims, “Hey, I’ve got range!”

Percival nervously says, “This is some mix-up. I must have left my real son in the car. I’ll go get him!”

He jumps back in shock as Doofus somehow appears in front of him, asking, “Would you like to see my honey bin?”

Percival asks, “Don’t you mean money bin?”

Doofus responds, “No.”

He pressed a button and a trapdoor beneath Percivall opens, making him drop down, and Johnny is blasted into the air by a spring underneath him.

Doofus yells, “So many liars!”

He ejects all of the Beagle Boys through trap doors below them, and Louie exclaims, “Oh, man! Everyone was pulling the same con as us!”

Goldie says, “And we’re the last ones standing.”

I say, “Not exactly…”

I gesture over to the few other remaining guests, Glomgold and his puppet, and Mark Beaks with his kid. I didn’t even know he had a kid.

Glomgold says to his puppet, “Sharkbomb, my boy, meet Doofus!” He then says in falsetto, “Get off my back, Dad!”

Doofus stares ‘Sharkbomb’ down suspiciously before saying, “Your blank stare is soothing.”

He hugs ‘Sharkbomb’ and Glomgold struggles to get his hand away from Doofus. Understandable. I wouldn’t want to be that close to him either.

Goldie says, “That’s an awful lot of competition. Maybe you should keep your distance, Sharpie, Rook.”

I say, “Nuh uh. The closer we appear to be, the easier it’ll be to trick him, right?”

Louie nods, exclaiming, “This is perfect! We expose the others as phonies to gain Doofus’s trust, then get out of here with their leftover bags before we’re exposed!”

Goldie thinks for a moment, then says, “Ambitious, dangerously overconfident… Let’s do it!”

We make our way over to Beaks, but I hide just behind Louie, not wanting to interact with the man that tried to kill me last month.

Louie says, “Mark Beaks! Meet my little sister Clover-”

I mutter angrily, “We’ve already met.”

Louie says, “And my grandma- Ow!” Goldie smacks the back of Louie’s head, and he corrects, “Super young Aunt Goldie, and, uh… Wait, since when do you have a kid?”

Beaks responds, “Since I realized how many likes family pics get online. Selfie burst!”

He takes multiple selfies with his kid with us in the background, blinding us from the flash as he makes scatting noises.

Beaks’s kid gets right up in Louie’s face, exclaiming, “Hi! I’m Boyd!”

Louie mutters, “Sure you are.”

Beaks says casually, “Yeah, I love this… what was it? Son! Anyways, look at all the cool stuff we did yesterday!”

He shows us pictures of himself and Boyd at a punk-rock concert, hanging out at Lester Possum Park, at the Duckburg Aquarium in silly hats, and near mountains with Boyd flying a kite. Boyd seems to be in the exact same pose in all of the pictures. That’s kinda odd, isn’t it?

Doofus says, “Aw, family memories.”

He goes over and starts kissing and caressing an image of his grandma riding on a centaur in the forest, which is tattooed on his dad’s stomach. Glomgold covers Sharkbomb’s eyes and Doofus’s dad cringes. I don’t blame him. His kid must’ve made him tattoo that… thing on his stomach.

After he covers up the tattoo again, Glomgold says, “Aye, what loving parent wouldn’t keep a picture of his kin handy?”

He pulls out a wallet that shows pictures of himself and Sharkbomb in different costumes.

Beaks approaches Goldie, saying with air quotes, “Goldie, was it? You must have pics of your ‘nephew’ and ‘niece’.”

Louie and I sneak off to the photobooth and take a few pictures while Goldie stalls, “Uh, of course I do! They’re right here in my purse… The question is which one, because I love them so much.”

Louie and I exit the photo booth and Louie hugs her to distract the others while I slip the photos into Goldie’s purse.

She says, “How can I choose just one, so… I have four! Look at that roguish twinkle in his eye and the sweet smile on her face.”

She shows them one of the photos, where we both have strained smiles on our faces, our arms over each other’s shoulders. I think that’s the first time Louie’s willingly touched me other than the hug he gave Mom and I when we first met.

Doofus smiles, saying, “That’s nice.”

He claps his hands twice and his parents pull off his suit to reveal a bathing suit underneath.

Doofus exclaims, “Pool time!”

His parents lift him up and walk him into the pool, his legs dragging on the floor underneath him.

Goldie says, “Not bad, kids. Now we go on the offense. Tell me, who’s our first mark?”

Glomgold says to his puppet, “Sharkbomb, get in the pool, ya wee whippersnapper!” He then responds to himself in falsetto, “Don’t tell me what to do, old man!” He then angrily says to his puppet, “Old man?! Can an old man do this?!”

He tries to do a kickflip on a scooter and fails miserably.

Louie says, “Him.”

Goldie adds, “Definitely him.”

I add, “Who else?”

We get changed into swimsuits that Doofus provided us, and I just sit by the pool, my legs pulled up over my chest, my arms wrapped around my legs, and my chin resting on my knees. I’ve never been in a swimsuit before, but it just feels so revealing. Is it normal to feel like this? To feel like an outsider in your own body?

I decided not to go swimming since I’ve never swam before and don’t want to drown, but I imagine it might be a bit like being on the moon. Earth’s gravity is actually quite comforting to me in a way, and helps me feel more grounded, but I still just feel so uncomfortable right now. I try to distract myself from these uncomfortable feelings by watching Goldie and Louie try to trick Glomgold.

Louie sits in an inflatable chair and floats over to Glomgold saying, “Hey Flintheart, can I talk to Sharkbomb in private for a second?”

Glomgold nervously responds, “Oh, uh… certainly…”

He takes a large breath and dives under the water, and Louie asks, “Sharkbomb, can I tell you a secret?” I chuckle as Sharkbomb makes gurgling noises since Glomgold is underwater, and Louie exclaims, “Great! I think my aunt has the hots for your dad.”

Glomgold resurfaces quickly and splashes me by accident, exclaiming excitedly, “She does?!” Goldie takes off her glasses and looks at Glomgold, and he adds, “I mean…” He then flips into falsetto, exclaiming, “As if! Ew! Barfaroma!” Glomgold angrily says to the puppet, “You’re making me look like a fool!” He then says to himself in falsetto, “You don’t need my help, geezer!”

Glomgold smacks himself with Sharkbomb, both of them diving under the water. They wrestle before jumping onto the deck where Glomgold tears Sharkbomb’s head off. He freezes as everyone stares, and he licks Sharkbomb’s head and puts it on backwards. He grins nervously, giving an awkward thumbs-up. Doofus gives him a thumbs-down and Glomgold falls through a trapdoor, holding on only by Sharkbomb.

Glomgold exclaims, “Don’t let go, Sharkbomb!” He then flips into falsetto, yelling at himself as he lets go, “Don’t tell me what to do!”

I ask, “What in the world just happened?”

Goldie responds to me, “He took himself out!” She then exclaims to Louie, “Oh, pretty sharp, Sharpie!” She gently bumps his chin with her fist, adding, “You’re a natural!”

I say, “Well, we’re one step closer to getting out of here, right?”

Louie nods, adding, “Those gift bags are as good as-”

Boyd and Beaks push Louie and Goldie out of the pool and splash me again. I stand up and storm off back to one of the changing rooms to dry off with a towel and get changed back into my suit. I feel much more comfortable now that I’ve got actual clothes on. I exit the changing room and everyone else soon changes as well other than Boyd, who never got changed out of his tan dress shirt, slightly darker tan shorts, and red bowtie.

We all gather around him playing a pinball machine titled ‘Doofus’s Destruction’, and he says, “It’s like the machine speaks to me. Is that strange?”

I shrug, and Goldie pulls Louie and I aside, asking my brother, “What dirt have you dug up on Boyd?”

Louie responds, “I got nothing! He’s friendly, he’s freakishly strong, and he gets along weirdly well with Doofus.”

I look over and see Doofus petting Boyd’s head like he’s a pet and I grimace. At least that’s not me, and Boyd seems weirdly okay with it.

Goldie says, “There’s gotta be some weak spot… something in their history?”

Louie pulls out his phone and starts scrolling through Beaks’s pictures, and he says, “All I’ve found are hundreds of photos of them being perfect together!”

I add, “And Boyd is in the exact same position and pose in all of them. That’s weird, isn’t it?”

Louie’s eyebrows furrow, saying, “Yeah… Wait, where are the baby pictures? Beaks would never pass up that sweet clickbait!”

Goldie asks, “Click-what now?”

I shrug, and something pops up on Louie’s screen.

He clicks on it, asking, “What’s this weird Wifi network? ‘Beaks Optimistic Youth Droid’?”

Goldie’s eyes widen, and she says, “Oh! B.O.Y.D. Boyd!”

The three of us say in unison, “He’s a robot!”

Goldie asks, “How are we supposed to trip up a boy-bot who’s programmed to be perfect?”

Louie explains, “Get close, don’t get caught. Do you know how many evil robots I’ve faced?!” He laughs, then has a serious expression on his face as he adds, “Too many.”

I say, “I’ve only fought one so far, but I thought it was pretty fun!”

Louie walks over to Boyd, saying, “Wow, Boyd! You said you’ve only been playing since yesterday?”

Boyd responds, “Yes! Daddy took me to Funzo’s and we played all the games, and then had ice cream and flew kites!”

Louie laughs, saying, “Big day!”

I ask, “What did you do before yesterday?”

Boyd laughs awkwardly, responding, “I can’t seem to remember…” He twitches and sparks, exclaiming, “Why can’t I remember?!”

Beaks responds, “I dunno, sport. Uh, maybe it was all that ice cream, huh?”

Boyd sparks again, and Doofus asks, “What’s wrong with my friend? Is it something my butler did?”

He glares at his dad, who fearfully drops the presents he was carrying and jumps over the side of the tree-house platform.

Louie says, “I think he’s a little over-stimulated.” He then turns to Boyd, adding, “We’ll have to remember that for your birthday.”

I smirk at Louie, asking Boyd, “Hey, speaking of which, when’s your birthday, again?”

Boyd responds, “Yesterday! Wait-” He sparks and his eyes go technicolor as he adds, “That’s not right!”

Beaks exclaims, “No, no, no! Do not peer behind the curtain of reality, bud!”

Boyd tosses the pinball machine over the side, and lasers start firing from his eyes.

He exclaims, “Does not compute! Compute?! No! I am not a computer!”

The lasers nearly hit Doofus’s dad, who has just come back up via the elevator, and he hits the button to go back down, his eye twitching. Boyd tosses the ‘Not Full of Hair’ cake onto Doofus’s mom and reveals that it was stuffed full of hair.

Boyd shouts, “I am definitely a real boy!”

He comes to a stop in front of the pool and I watch in horror as his eyes melt. His eyes go dead and he falls into the water.

Louie shares my look of horror at what we just witnessed, but Beaks simply sighs, saying, “Oh, man. Gonna need, like, a real big bag of rice.”

Doofus yells, “My party!” He makes Beaks fall through a trapdoor and takes his phone, yelling, “No! No, no, no, no!”

Louie still looks horrified, but Goldie picks us up and swings the both of us around, exclaiming, “Sharpie! Rook! You conned that boy-bot right out of sentience! Maybe the three of us should team up on a more permanent basis.”

Louie asks, “Really? Y- You mean it?”

Goldie says, “This looks like the beginning of a fruitful partnership.”

She sets us down and shakes mine and Louie’s hands.

Doofus exclaims, “I swore after last year, no one’s eyes would melt out of their heads!”

I mutter, “This has happened more than once?”

Doofus yells angrily, “Who is responsible for this?!”

Louie says, “Uh oh, we ran out of chumps to-”

Goldie points to Louie and I, saying, “They did it.”

Louie and I exclaim in unison, “What?!”

Goldie says in a fake scolding tone, “Llewelyn and Clover Duck, I am so disappointed. Ruining poor Doofus’s party. Trying to take the extra bags for yourselves. Who raised you?”

Louie exclaims, “Not you, lady!”

I add, “You’re not even our aunt! You’re a frau-”

Goldie clamps our beaks shut, saying calmly, “Children can be so cruel.”

Doofus’s mom says quietly, gesturing to herself and her husband who has finally returned for good this time, “Doofus makes us share a fork.”

Goldie lets go of our beaks, demanding, “You two, march home right this instant! And to teach you both a lesson, I’m going to take your gift bags and donate them to charity.”

She leans down and whispers, “It’s me. The charity is me.”

I groan, “Oh, come on!”

Louie asks, “What happened to working together?”

Goldie quietly says with a smirk, “Sorry Sharpie, Rook. I only work for myself.” She then loudly says, “I want you gone, kids.”

Doofus says creepily, “That can be arranged.”

Doofus uses Beaks’s phone to reactivate Boyd, who emerges from the pool.

He says in an angry voice, “Hi, I’m Boyd, a definitely real boy, and I’m going to destroy you!”

He chases us around, and Louie yells, “Ah, help! You’re a real boy! You’re a sweet, kind, real boy, I swear!”

I add, “This isn’t you, Boyd! Snap out of it!”

Goldie exclaims as Doofus makes Boyd tie up Louie and I and hang us like a pinata, “What are you doing?!”

Doofus responds, creepily calm, “It’s pinata time. I’m the world champion. But I’ve never hunted the most dangerous pinata; man.”

Boyd grabs a wooden bat and starts spinning around much faster than a non-robot could, and I faint, hanging limply in the rope next to Louie. I wake up a few minutes later upon impact with the ground outside the treehouse, surrounded by the gift bags and Louie cheering.

He cheers, “I did it! I’m a millionaire! Wahoo! Who’s the sharpie now, Goldie? I’m out here, rich, and you’re in there… suffering who knows what unspeakable horrors… after you turned on me! Saved my life… which is probably part of her big con somehow!”

He gathers up the gift bags into a large sack, and I ask groggily, “Ugh, what happened?”

Louie frowns, responding, “She broke her own rules. She got too close, and she got caught. She’s on her own.”

I ask, “But how did we get out?”

Louie responds, “She… she begged him to stop and he took her as his new ‘Goldiemama’. Look, we’ve gotta go back home and leave this horror house.”

I say, “But if she saved us, we’ve gotta save her, right?”

Louie’s face softens, saying, “You know what? You’re right. Let’s go save Goldie.”

We run back to Doofus’s house, finally finding the right room as we burst the door open, finding Goldie locked inside a glass cage and sitting on a recliner with a frustrated look on her face.

Louie drops the sack of money on the ground, growling, “Party’s over, Doofus.”

I add, “Give us our aunt back.”

Doofus yells, “She’s mine, you hear?!”

I exclaim, “You can’t just keep her trapped in there like a collectible figurine!”

Doofus orders, “Minions!”

His parents correct, “Parents.”

Doofus ignores them, adding, “Attack!”

Suddenly, Boyd falls through the ceiling, using his laser eyes to cut a hole in the glass case imprisoning Goldie.

Doofus asks, “But how?”

Louie holds up Beaks’s phone, saying, “Guess what you dropped in the gift bags? See, I don’t think you need a Guhmeemama-”

Doofus’s parents chant, “Guhmeemama…”

I hiss, “Quit it! That’s really creepy!”

Louie continues, “I think you need someone your own age to get close to. Happy birthday, Doofus. I got you a new baby brother. He’s only a day old.”

He types something on Beaks’s phone, and I notice a shift in Boyd.

He walks up to Doofus’s parents, innocently asking, “Mommy? Daddy?”

Doofus’s parent kneel, his mom, saying, “Come here, son.”

They hug, and Doofus whines, “No! No, you obey me! I’ll cut off your money!”

Boyd says, “Don’t worry. I’ll transfer half of Guhmeemama’s money out of Doofus’s account and into mine! After all, she was my Guhmeemama, too.”

Doofus exclaims, “What? No, she was my Guhmeemama!” He whispers, “My Guhmeemama, mine.” He growls, “You sentimental toaster!”

Doofus’s mom scolds, “Don’t you speak to your brother that way. You’re grounded, indefinitely.”

Doofus exclaims, “He’s not even my brother!”

I say, “He is now. Better get used to it.”

Doofus’s dad says softly, “I’m free.”

Doofus yells, “I’ll get you for this, Llewellyn and Clover Duck!”

Louie says, putting his arm over my shoulder, “Oh, give it time. If you get close enough to someone, they start to feel like family, right Goldie?” We look around, and finally notice she’s gone, along with- “The gift bags!”

We head back to the mansion penniless, but Louie holds my hand on the way home, even though he’s still mad at Goldie. I’m glad I got to hang out with him today. I feel like it’s really brought us closer already.

When we get home, he plops himself down at the bottom of the steps, exclaiming, “I got in too deep! We had the money! I was in the clear! Why did I let you convince me to go back?!”

Uncle Scrooge walks down the stairs to us, asking, “Crocodile’s Waterworks?”

I shake my head, sighing, “Goldie.”

Uncle Scrooge says, “I’d say you get used to it, but that would be a lie.”

Louie says, “I thought I’d found someone who really got me. We had a connection!”

Uncle Scrooge says gently, “When you spend all your time looking for an angle, it’s hard to see what’s in front of your face, and that doesn’t make her too sharp, eh kids?”

I ask, “But why did she save us?”

Uncle Scrooge responds, “Maybe she let you two get close, too.”

I slightly smile, looking at my brother as I say, “I’m glad you let me get close today.”

Louie smiles back, saying, “Me, too.”

[ugogoi49]

She need some backups, ,, & some OXY-CHEWS

[hoatzinatlas]

"Hello there- I've been waiting for you..."

basics.

FACECLAIM VENGO GAO

CHARACTER NAME Ouxin "Atlas" Han

NICKNAME(S) Atlas, Oxy (don't call him this) , Atta Boy, Hoatzy (hes charmed by this one)

GENDER/PRONOUNS CIS MAN HE/HIM

SEXUALITY Bisexual

HEIGHT 6'3

DISTINGUISHING FEATURES Very light freckles across his nose, scar on his left clavicle from the before. double jointed on his right hand, slightly pointed ears, eyes that look seeming attentive yet dazed,

APPEARS (THE AGE AT TIME OF DEATH) 45

BIRTHDAY 12/22/ 1965 (bad at math )

PLACE OF BIRTH jixi, Heilongjiang-Pokoravha Border,China

NATIONALITY Chinese (did apply for Macanes citizenship but didn't go through because COD)

FAMILY INFORMATION : Mother deceased status unknown, Unknown Father

CAUSE OF DEATH Getting shot by former boss in broad baylight

TRAITS [ minimum 3 POS, 3 NEG, feel free to include more! ] eloquent, generous, stoic, vindictive, hypocritical, cranky, snarky,esoteric

LIKES Parchment paper, the essence of biscotti, almonds, nicely spread bed sheets, class, the finer things in the after

DISLIKES chewing with mouth open, dishwasher lasgana, ignorance, scammers,

HOBBIES laminating papers, reading magazines, recouping art styles for his bardo, calligraphy, spending time with hatchlings and magpie

HABITS staring in the distance, twirling things in his hands, constantly adjusting his collar and gloves, constantly covering the freckles on his nose

optionals.

EXTRAS [ pinterest, playlists, etc. ] coming soon

CHARACTER TROPES Beware the Silly Ones, Blue-and-Orange Morality , Bunny-Ears Lawyer, Seen it All , Trickster Mentor

CHARACTER INSPIRATIONS: Urahara Kisuke (Bleach), Mr Moseby (Suite Life of Zack and Cody), Eikichi Onizuka (Great Teacher Onizuka), R.J (Power Rangers Jungle Fury), Pegagus Yugioh

MEMES

MORAL ALIGNMENT : Choatic Good

ZODIAC/NATAL CHART :TBD

MBTI ENFP (Campaigner)

ENNEAGRAM TBD

[circhestersbest]

What’s up, the name’s Gordie! One of Circhester’s Gym Leaders, typically on every second rotation. Figured it was ‘bout time I made a Rotomblr myself!

This is my personal blog, but don’t be surprised if I reblog some notices & league shit. Gotta get the news ‘round somehow. Remember that I’m taken, so don’t be too weird and we’ll be all chill.

ME

Male — He/Him

Born and raised Galarian, still live here too

Oxi & Iris.. xx

MY GYM TEAM

Absolute monster of a starter on the playing field, and she loves going first — so it’s a win/win really. Off the field though, she loves chewing shit and chattering.

Absolutely loves getting his back brushed. Snippy around strangers though, so be aware.

Very quiet, keeps to herself a lot. She seems content though! So we leave her be.

Been with me for a long-ass time, and was the first (proper) addition to my first ever Gym team. Absolutely feisty, very spunky — but he’s got a bloody good heart.

MY COMPETITIVE TEAM

I tend to shock people with this one, haha! She’s super sweet though, loves cuddling up when given the chance.

Total surfer attitude. Chilled out, go-with-the-flow, just here for the vibes. He’s an icon.

A baby, really. Loves sticks, and gets upset when they are on the floor and not in his mouth. Love him to death though.

A gem of a creature.. so gentle, and very loving. She’s also insanely protective.

BEHIND THE SCENES

The one and only. My first ever proper partner Pokémon. He’s always out and about with me, and loves the attention more than I do haha!

OOC //

[PFP: erizavc on twt!!]

Inspired to do this my my partner, who i will contently annoy with my antics once more LMAO. Otherwise, keeping this as a IYKYK situation.

PELIPPER:-

mail — on

unmail — off

malice — on

MUSHARNA:-

mail — off

malice — off

MISC.:-

magic anons — off

mystery gift — off

union circle — ask

GUIDELINES:-

- Both Mun & Muse are adults. Suggestive stuff is fine, but no straight up NSFW. Not on my Christian blog /bit /silly

- Not everything is going to be 100% canon, some things are adjusted or changed, but a lot of it is still based - or at least inspired by - canon.

- In-character banter, arguments and hate is fine - just keep it respectful towards me.

- I’m happy interacting with any kind of PokéIRL blog! This Gordie is semi-aware of the multiverse so go nuts.

- In saying that, I hold every right to not interact or delete an ask for any reason.

- I also hold the right to block whoever I’d like. This includes anyone who breaks the guidelines, anyone who appears to be a bot account, nsfw accounts, if you refuse to be civil, or any other reason i may see fit.

- All triggers will be tagged as “tw [trigger]”!!

TAG SYSTEM:-

#🪨 gordie’s nonsense -> posts made ic

#🪨 gordie reblogs -> reblogs made ic

#🪨 gordie’s cave -> ic ask responses

#🪨 team member [name] -> posts including specific team members

#🌋 ooc log -> posts that are ooc

#🌋ooc dump -> reblogs that are ooc

#🌋 ooc gibberish -> ooc ask responses

#🌋 lore drop 🪨 -> :]]]

PAST ARC(s):-

None, yet.

CURRENT ARC(s):-

None, yet.

Refs are pending!

[jackhkeynes]

Markish

Markish is an English language of the German family of languages which evolved on the island of Albion. It is closely related to other English languages like Kentish and Wessern, and is the primary language of the polity of Markland.

Contemporary Markish descends form the Early Markish spoken in Markland, which itself descends from Anglian varieties of Old English.

This article principally describes the acrolect of Markish spoken in and around the capital city of Tommarth.

Examples

A jalicked knave bought a new quistre. /ə ˈdʒa.lɪ.kəd knɛːv bɔft ə nəu ˈkwɪ.stə/ A guy in a tuxedo bought a new phone. Aquifex is the temendest corporal. /ˈa.kwɪˌfɛks ɪz ðe ˈtiː.mən.dəs ˈkoː.pʊ.ɾəl/ Hydrogen is the most abundant element. Do thy breches of and put thysel abed! /duː ðəi ˈbɾiː.tʃəz ɔf ən pʊt ðəiˈsɛl əˈbɛd/ Take off your clothes and get on the bed! By way o'dreend al therin ough, he asked "As swich?" /bəi wəi əˈdɾiː.ən‿dal ðəˈɾɪn uːf | hiː ˈa.skəd | az swɪtʃ/ While doing everything wrong, he asked "Like that?" Psolick tersures may breken wines brewing of. /ˈsɔ.lɪk ˈtɛː.zjəz məi ˈbɾiːkə wəinz ˈbɾəwɪŋg ɔf/ Sulphites can stop wine fermentation.

Phonology

Consonants

The consonant phonemes found in Markish are:

/m n/ /p t tʃ k/ /b d dʒ g/ /f θ s ʃ h/ /v ð z/ /w l ɾ j/

and they are subject to the following orthographic conventions:

b d f h k l m n p t v w z represent their IPA symbols.

j r y represent /dʒ ɾ j/ respectively.

c usually represents /s/ before i e y and /k/ elsewhere.

awice /əˈwəis/ "indeed" < OE ġewiss "certain" coholl /kʊˈhɔl/ "sulfide" < Ar كُحْل "kohl"

g usually represents /g/ but may represent /dʒ/ before i e y.

eagre /ˈeː.gə/ "acid" < L ācer nargill /ˈnaː.dʒɪl/ "coconut" < Ar نَرْجِيل "coconut palm" girl /geːl/ "young person"

q appears almost always in the diagraph qu to represent /kw/.

quoit /kwəit/ "tyre, torus"

s represents /z/ between vowels and word-finally (unless doubled), and /s/ otherwise.

Brasil /bɾəˈzɪl/ "Newfoundland" < Ir Breasail betimes /bɪˈtəimz/ "earlier" surblavick /soːˈblɛː.vɪk/ "ultraviolet" < L blavus "blue"

x represents /gz/ between vowels, and /ks/ otherwise.

oxy /ˈɔg.ziː/ "stubborn" œculux /ˈɛ.kjəˌlʊks/ "EM radiation" < Gr οἶκος "house", L lux "light"

There are several digraphs of letters with -h: ch gh ph sh th wh.

ph sh wh represent /f ʃ f/.

ch usually represents /tʃ/, but sometimes also /k/.

chalk /tʃalk/ "chalk" yacht /jakt/ "cult" < Du jaght "hunting party"

gh usually represents either /ʃ/ (following i) or /f/ (following u).

wight /wɪʃt/ "person" < OE wiht "thing, creature" ough /uːf/ "bad" < OE wōh "wrong, crooked" NB I'ght /ˈəift/ "I must", contracted from I ought

th usually represents either of /θ ð/, and sometimes /t/.

thrift /θɾɪft/ "energy" < ON þrift "prosperity" yeathre /ˈjeːðə/ "together" < OE geador

There are several situations in which written consonants may be silent.

In certain endings: participle -end /ən/, infinitive -en /ə/, superlative -est /əs/.

discurrend /dɪˈskʊ.ɾən/ "different" < L discurrēns "roaming" chammen /ˈtʃa.mə/ "to chew" (poss. onomatopoetic) tharvest /ˈθaː.vəs/ "least sociable" < OE þeorf "unleavened"

Coda r lengthens the preceding vowel and word-final -re is pronounced /ə/.

interpel /ɪnˈtɛː.pəl/ "interact with" < L interpellō "I disturb" sundre /ˈsʊn.də/ "many" < OE sundor "separately"

Post-tonic -st- immediately before a closed syllable is pronounced /s/.

hirstend /ˈheː.sən/ "extra" < OE hyrstan "to ornament" pistol /ˈpɪ.səl/ "message" < L epistola

Likewise, post-tonic -v- is lost in some common words.

morovre /mʊˈɾoː(ə)/ "as well" evre /ɛː(ə)/ "always"

Vowels

The vowels of (this variety of) Markish are:

/a ɛ ɪ ɔ ʊ ə/ /aː ɛː eː iː ɔː oː ʉː/ /əi əu/

and they are subject to the following orthographic conventions:

In stressed syllables, "short" a e i~y o u represent /a ɛ ɪ ɔ ʊ/.

sam /sam/ "set, collection" < OE samnian "gather" whelp /fɛlp/ "baby animal" quick /kwɪk/ "awake" thon /ðɔn/ "one, someone", contracted from the one bulk /bʊlk/ "cargo"

In unstressed syllables, a e i~y o u instead represent /ə ə~ɪ ɪ ʊ ʊ/—except word-finally, where /ɪ ʊ/ become /iː ə/.

defectend /dɪˈfɛk.tən/ "positively charged" behemoth /bɪˈhiː.mʊθ/ "hippopotamus" costumery /kʊˈstjəu.mə.ɾiː/ "fashion plate"

"Long" a e i~y o u represent /ɛː iː əi uː jəu/.

besake /bɪˈzɛːk/ "because" mete /miːt/ "standard, gauge" < OE metan "measure" ty /təi/ "to join" poke /puːk/ "container" < OFr poque "bag" huge /hjəudʒ/ "huge"

There are plenty of digraphs representing vowels.

Coda -r: ar er ir or ur represent /aː ɛː eː oː oː/.

davarn /dəˈvaːn/ "grand hotel, resort" < W tafarn "inn"

-a: ea oa represent /eː oː/.

roaden /ˈɾoː.də/ "to travel"

-e: ee ie ue represent /iː əi jəu/.

conspue /kʊnˈspjəu/ "to deride" < L cōnspuō "I spit upon"

-i/y: ai ei oi and ay ey oy represent /əi əi~iː əi/.

fain /fəin/ "willing(ly)"

-o: oo represents /uː/.

soon /suːn/ "as soon as"

-u/w: au eu ou and aw ew ow represent /əu əu əu~uː/.

blew /bləu/ "blue" coshow /ˈkɔ.ʃuː/ "rubber" < Quechua kawchu

[rowretro]

✧𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐍 𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐍✧

WARNINGS: sexual refferences, mentions of drugs

✧taglist✧: @heeseung-min @jaeneohee @lovingvoidgoatee @neruishoon (anyone I may have missed)

✧CHAPTER 13✧

It's been quite a few months since the babies were born and the couple were slowly getting used to their sleepless nights. "So this thing with Ryujin you're actually serious about it for once?" Sunghoon asked as he rocked baby Anaya, who silently snuggled into Sunghoon. "Yeah, and I'm selling my first house as a realtor today. Everything was going well until one of my exes ruined it-" Heeseung sighed "Which one?" y/n asked snickering as baby Avaani smiled up at her mom, imitating her snicker. "I forgot her name- one before Yeji, after Nina-" Heeseung sighed.

"Oh the delusional one? what did she do?" y/n asked as she fed Avaani. "Well I was showing the house to a couple who have 2 kids, and everything was going well until she showed up, made up some lies about the home I was showing and stole my people." Heeseung complained, to which Avaani whined. "Doesn't she have a showing tonight?" Y/n asked as Hee groaned.

"Ugh I get it she's showing a stupid house with my people. they were mine but you know what? I'm a new Hee, I'm not going to do dirty work like she did because Im a nice realtor." Heeseung added "Or are you a little pussy?" y/n said as Sunghoon glared at her "y/n... language- babies pick up on these words yk?!" he warned. Y/n rolled her eyes as she turned back to Hee "Sometimes you've got to be a snake." the girl said as Heeseung shook his head "Fraid not y/n... anyways... I'll be off now." Hee said as he left the house.

"We gotta help him out" y/n said as Sunghoon frowned "You only get one chance to go out tonight and you want to waste it on your brother's delusional ex?" Sunghoon asked. "Babe we owe him... I mean well you did impregnate his babysister" y/n pointed out as she rocked the baby "How do my little angels like to spend the day with uncle sunooo yayyyy!" Y/n said in a baby voice as Sunghoon sighed loudly.

Love can make people do crazy things. For Sunghoon, he has killed many people and even tortured them for love. Never did he ever think he'd find himself covered in fake tattoos, in a ripped tank top which made him look practically topless, reeking of pot with a funky accent. Never would he have let his darling wife wear extremely short denim shorts with an extremely revealing nipply top, her eyebrows overdone and lips overlined, thick eyelashes, and a bottle of vodka in hand.

"Ready babe?" she asked as Sunghoon rolled his eyes "Lets get this done and over with." Sunghoon simply said "HEY Y'ALL, YOU'RE A BUNCH A LIL CUTIES HUH~ WE MADE YA SOME BROWNIES, MY HUBBY'S BEST AT THOSE YK?" Y/n squealed, walking in there seeing the shocked face of the realtor "AH SHARON RIGHT? THE REALTOR EX WITH 40 CATS AND OXY?" the girl added as Sunghoon followed. "Ah y'all must be our new neighbours, this lil hot junk is my wife~ got married after she dropped outta highschool~" He said, playing with his fake tongue piercing.

"So.. our new neighbours huh~" the wife said with a shaky voice, shudderring as she saw the clothes y/n wore "You look a lot like that hot CEO-" the woman added "I ain't no CEO, Am just a doctor... i prescribe drugs- weed, oxy, coke u name it we got it~ they're in those brownies we made" He said as they just blinked. "TRUST ME GAL THIS HOUSE IS PERFECT, ME AND MY HUSBAND HAD THE BEST SEX OF OUR LIFE IN HERE~" she yelled, twirling her hair as she chewed her gum staring up at Hoon.

"Ok Wow that makes our decisions easier-" the woman mumbles. "Oh baby, it was right here on this sofa where we concieved our 7nth son remember?" y/n added as Sunghoon tried to hide his real reaction, while the couple stared in shock. "Oh my god babe remember when the cops arrested you in that kitchen. I bet there.s still some coke n dried blood left over~" The girl added as Sunghoon agreed with her. "Hey speaking of these memories really are making me feel something huh..." Sunghoon trailed off, as he roughly caught y/n in an open mouthed kiss leaving the couple mortified "Yepp I think this house is definitely off the list, lets go back to that other realtor." The husband said, dragging his wife away.

Upon arriving home, Sunghoon took a long shower, while y/n comfortably played with their babies "Took me a while but finally got all that fake ink off, and god my body feels weird without those fake piercings, god the things I do for you y/n..." he sighed. Y/n smiled, hugging him tightly "Hee called me and he was so happy he sold that house coz of us, he bought you those ice skates you always wanted... and well, maybe in you're down for it next week..." Y/n trailed off as she handed him a box.

"Open it" she said with a smile, the man opened it and a big smile plastered his lips "You're finally gonna ice skate with me??? and the twins?" he said with a smile as he picked up the matching tiny skates "God they look so cute but aren't the a little too big?" Hoon asked "it's for when they're a little older, and they know how to walk a-and if they don't fit I'll buy something better" she said, smiling as Sunghoon kissed her, lovingly. His plan was to lock her in the basement and punish her for wearing something so provocative... but how could he when she's so sweet?

✧𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐍 𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐍✧

[astro-b-o-y-d]

...I wonder if Ford would've preferred something like Della's oxy-chew option over nutrient pills. That loser seems like the type to enjoy black licorice.

[ducktoonsfanart]

Della Duck with Casey Duck and their kids (Huey, Dewey, Louie and Phooey Duck) on the Moon in space suits - Ducktales 2017

After a long time, and at the request of my followers, I decided to dedicate myself to my topics again, so I will start with Ducktales in Space. Unfortunately, the Ducktales reboot didn't have a lot of space adventures, except for Della Duck's trip to the moon, her stay and return to Earth and the conflict with the Moonlanders, but I can still do it through drawings, and you can do it through your fanfictions if you want. Or maybe I will, if I have the chance.

For now I drew Della Duck, along with her partner named Alexander Casey Duck who is an OC by the way, the original character for my friend who I intended this drawing for. Together there are Della's children, Huey, Dewey and Louie, but I also added Phooey Duck and they are all together on the moon, in space, without Gyro's Oxy-chew invention, especially black liquorice, in their spacesuits. I drew in my own way, combining both styles, and specifically took a model of the space suit worn by Della for the rest of the crew. Yes, everyone wears clothes of their own color, with the boys wearing backwards baseball caps, since it is still a characteristic for them to wear caps. The planet Mars and a meteor can be seen behind them. I hope you like this drawing and this space travel idea.

Yes, this gift is for my friend @battlecry51, who designed this Casey Duck.