#p: adulting is hard

[falllpoutboy]

wow this is some “book accurate” show we’re getting here folks

[marklikely]

round

[yuukimiyas]

g’mornin sweet friends! ᜊ꒰ ᜊ ´ ˘꒱ ੭♡ its another lovely thurs here in the city of lovers!! the sun is extra shiny, the birds are singin in tune, & the universe has smth amazing in store for every one of us!! i just KNOW IT!! ໒꒰ྀི∩˃ ᵕ ˂∩꒱ྀི১ i hope you all are feelin the magic in the air to assist w a great day!! <33

[doubleedgemode]

I wanted to go on a drawing spree yesterday, but I could only muster these two before dozing off.

First one, even if I'm not that sure about how I drew her face shape in this angle (and most importantly I forgot her neck and torso bandages OOPS) I do really like how most of the drawing came out. And at least it isn't a bland bust this time, though I'm pretty sure I've already drawn a pose like this before. (Oh no the next drawing is a 3/4 bust again..)

Second, yesterday I saw an artist draw some of the coolest redesigns ever for a different media piece, and thought about the many awesome gg redesigns I often see so I wanted to give A.B.A a spin... Except I was out of ideas so most of this drawing is her regular design haha. I got too tired to even try to attempt to draw the rest of the body and half-assed the key but I like the vibes and pose (even if I.. think I made her neck a bit too long? Old habits die hard... Necks are my enemies when drawing!)

I like the idea of her having a key take on the classic frankenstein bolts (though wait, her head key is referred to as a screw. Would this also be a screw or key shaped bolts??-)

[roseverdict]

not looking forward to my parents trying to go "oh hey nice tax return the government gave you as a handout. give it to us for the family cruise" when i don't really want to go on the family cruise nearly as much as they do

[wormeats]

hello gay autism website, advice for meltdowns and burnout?

preventing meltdowns and dealing w them if they occur, recovering from burnout after a lifetime of masking and smaller burnouts until i pushed it for too long and this time i feel broken but also learned more about myself ?

i havent intentionally self harmed in 2 years, and quit nicotine like 2 months ago so those are some long term core coping strategies i lost maybe also making stuff harder, but it was good to quit those ofc

it just gets scary bc during a meltdown it feels like i Need to Scream and/or Run and/or make myself feel pain/hit myself or hit something else (but i stopped doing that bc once as a teen i broke my wall and it was embarrassing and bad, and a few weaks ago i fucked up my hand punching a tree full force) (it always ends up being Harder and More Damage than i thought at the time, mayb adrenaline, but adds to scary) but the worst is that during the worst ones I feel a very strong urge to hit my head against shit as hard as i can, and i try to redirect to Anything Else bc that feels Dangerous so i used to punch my legs a lot and give myself hematoma bad bruising, more recent ones ive screamed into stuff to muffle, scratch my skin (another past coping mechanism of sh F), and bite myself so hard i feel my teeth about to connect and tear a chunk of meat out of me so i get scared and stop

it also is really hard or impossible to communicate and really hard to think so its more stressful if i am causing distress to others and want to calm down when i cannot calm down

it feels involuntary, like if i dont scream ill hurt myself and if i dont bash my head in i have to punch my legs or bite myself

at a certain point, i probably just have to let myself have the meltdown and know i will be okay after, but it scares people also if i cannot communicate that to them and am in lot of visible distress

advice ? any pls

im struggling a lot and have been this entire year

probably started burnout around october and thought it was a depressive episode (maybe a lot of my past depressive episodes were burnout and being too depressed to do shit let me rest, but this time i couldnt afford to be depressed bc i need to work to live and afford shit and etc etc even tho still not doing shit i need to like acquiring insurance and doctors, it feels impossible i am just trying to survive each day. how the fuck do you get doctors and appointments if u are too mentally unwell to do that. i cannot afford to be hospitalized either i need to keep working and have money to live)

any advice ? sorry for essay, ty if you read, shit is so hard rn

[gothcarmelasoprano]

there goes stingy

[toasteaa]

Lied again, thinking about Manu's folklore au fic once again -

[kg2hub]

R u ok haven't seen you around for a month now 😭

I'M NOT DEAD I SWEAR!!!!!!! 😭😭

genuinely forgot i had this blog for a hot minute, u can blame sessionbox for becoming pay to use and screwing up my logins to my 5 other blogs i open tabs for bc now i have to login to one blog at a time like some peasant /lh /j 😔

[monsterbisexual]

i rly feel like im not meant to be a functioning member of this world n should have been born as some wimpy animal or idk a rock or smth but i gotta work with what ive been given!

[plaquerat]

my siblings are going to be here this weekend (cringe) what the fuck kind of torment am i going to get now that the body pillow cover is dr loboto

[freebooter4ever]

The nice thing about living five minutes away from work is that if i ever forget something its not the end of the world i just drive home during lunch and pick it up ^_^ i wish our public transport/cities in the US prioritized this over the strange suburban sprawl we seem dedicated to

[hootybal-lecter]

Anyway I think I'm gonna brag to the internet that I just folded laundry for the first time in years

[all-thestories-aretrue]

A house update bcuz I feel like it. I got a couch with a chaise lounge! Its big and comfy and i really like it. I originally ordered one off wayfair but after they jerked the delivery date around on me again and i realized its 500 dollars more expensive than the one i have sitting in my home????

I have decided to return it and tell myself that i wouldnt have liked it more anyway and its worth saving the money but im terrified i would have actually liked it but not liked it 500 dollars more like it. Haha hope im making the right choice

I also bought a big lovely beautiful desk that I want to cover in funky contact paper of some kind. Not sure what yet. I was also thinking just pure white. Idk??? But now that I have a couch and a desk i can finally finish unpacking I feel like.

The next potential items will be an end table, a bench with shoe storage, and potentially a new kichen table?? And a bed frame!! Sooner than later on that. Everything else can wait.

[andreeds]

gonna invent a time machine to go back in time, find every single person whos ever told teenager me that "it gets better" and kill them with my own bare hands

[pepprs]

ok well i had a second breakdown. and i feel a third one coming on