#partner clinch

[g-hughes]

Happy Graduation! Can you do “i love that no one else has seen you like this, that no one else has felt you before, been inside you. they don't get to have you, but i do.” with “you taste like heaven” with Luke Hughes?

For The First Time - L. Hughes

hockey masterlist || g's graduation celly

synopsis: You and Luke have been together for a while, and decide to take the next step in your relationship.

word count: 3.9k

warnings: smut! oral sex (f receiving), piv, virgin reader, cursing, protected sex, small mention of blood after sex (it's normal!)

When you first met Luke Hughes, you thought he was going to be like every other hockey player you had ever met. He was tall, lanky but muscular with unruly curls falling in front of his eyes. He stuck out like a sore thumb in the bar, constantly looking over his shoulder as if someone was going to kick him out. He was a New Jersey Devil, no one would even attempt to kick him out of the bar. Even before actually introducing yourself to him, you had already sized him up and came to a conclusion; he was a young hockey player, he only wanted one thing and you weren’t about to give him the time of day. But, he proved you wrong the moment your brother pulled him over to introduce him to you. 

“And this is Luke!” Nico said, a drunken smile on his face. You already knew you were going to be basically carrying him back to his room. But you weren’t going to stop his celebration, they had just clinched their spot in the play-offs, “This is my little sister!” 

“I know,” Luke nodded, “She’s the team photographer.” 

“So you met!” You shook your head. The word ‘met’ was one way to put it, you had said all of two sentences to him. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Luke,” You said, holding your hand out and shaking his. 

“You too.” 

“Nico!” Jack shouted, “I need you to be my beer pong partner.” 

“Coming!” Nico slurred and turned towards Luke, “She’s off limits and I know where you live, Hughes.” 

“God, Nico,” Heat was rising in your cheeks as you looked at him, “Go! Before Jack starts pouting.” 

Luke nervously chuckled as your brother walked away and over to Jack. You looked back towards your drink as Luke sat down next to you. There was an awkward tension in the air, as he sat close but far from you. The two of you sat in silence, you twirling your straw and Luke scanning the crowd. 

“So, you take pictures for the Devils,” Luke said, “That’s cool.” 

You looked at him, and couldn’t help but giggle. His face fell for a moment, before laughing as well. He had no idea what he was doing or why he was so nervous sitting here and talking to you. Maybe it’s because you were the captain’s younger sister, or maybe because he’s had a crush on you from the moment he saw you. 

“It is cool,” You smiled, “It’s really cool.” 

Ever since that night you and Luke had been inseparable. It was a shock to no one when the two of you announced you were together. Nico and Jack had a bet going on to see how long it would take for you two to tell everyone. Both the brothers approved of your relationship, Nico happy that you had found someone who looked at you like you hung the stars and the moon. And Jack was happy seeing his younger brother look happy, and that he had someone by his side during his rookie season. Jack knew first hand how tough being a rookie can be, and he was happy that Luke had someone he could confide in when it all got to be too much. 

You were currently laying on Luke’s bed, his lips against yours as you made out. He had just come back from spending the summer at the lake, and you in Switzerland. The two of you had only seen each other twice over the summer, you going to the lake for a week and him coming to visit you in Switzerland. But the phone calls, facetimes and texts weren’t enough. You had been wishing for this day all summer. 

“I missed you,” Luke mumbled, his lips on your jaw, “So, so much.” 

“Me too,” You sighed at the feeling, “It’s been too long.” 

Luke’s lips found yours again, as his hips rocked against yours. His hands roamed your body, moving up and down your sides, before one slipped under the hem of your shirt. A warmth grew in your body, a tingle in your core as his hardened cock rubbed against your clothed cunt. Soft moans fell from your lips as you lifted your hips to meet Luke’s. His hand trailed up higher, his thumb rubbing at the band of your bra. It was as if the lust had cleared from your mind, and you were suddenly all too aware of Luke’s body and his hands on you. 

“Stop,” You said, and Luke immediately sat back, looking you over. 

“I’m sorry,” He apologized, “Are you okay? Did I hurt you? I’m sorry.” 

You nodded your head, “Y-yeah I’m fine it’s just. . . god,” You covered your face with your hands as an embarrassing blush coated your cheeks. Luke was still looking at you with concern as you pulled your hands away, “I’ve never been touched there. . . or anywhere.” 

Luke’s eyebrows furrowed at your words, and then it clicked in his brain, “Oh. . .” He said slowly, “You’re a virgin.” 

“Oh god!” You dramatically exclaimed, “It’s so embarrassing.” 

“No it’s not,” Luke said, laying down next to you on his bed, “It is not embarrassing at all.” 

“Yes,” You looked at him, “It is. I am twenty years old and a virgin.” 

“It’s better than being forty and a virgin,” Luke shrugged and you shot him a look, “Baby, it’s not embarrassing at all. I’m not with you just to get in your pants. It’s okay that you’re a virgin.” 

His words only made some of the unease lift from your belly. It wasn’t that you were waiting for marriage, you just never felt the need to jump into bed with the first man that showed you interest. Sure you had boyfriends before Luke, but you never felt the level of attraction and love as you did for Luke. The moment the other boys found out you were a virgin, they were already blocking your number and running for the hills. 

“You promise?” You asked, holding up your pinky for a pinky promise. 

“Yes, I promise,” Luke said, locking your pinkies together, “And you don’t have to ask me if I promise that it’s okay that you’re a virgin. It's your body. I’m not going to force you into having sex with me. You get to decide that when you’re ready.” 

You nodded your head, letting out a slow breath, “Well, I guess I completely killed the mood.” 

Luke chuckled, “Not totally,” You looked at him as he sat up from the bed, and climbed off of it. He walked over to your side and got down on one knee. 

You sat up quickly,“What are you-” 

“Y/N Hischier,” Luke started, grabbing your hands in his, “You know I love you with all my being. You are the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. . .” He paused for a moment, “Well, second greatest,” You rolled your eyes, “But, till you please make me the happiest man alive and be my date to the season opening gala?” 

“You’re such a dork,” You gently pushed him, laughing, “Of course I’ll go to the season opening gala with you. Who else would you take?” 

“Well Dawson asked-” 

“Over my dead body.” 

— — — 

The season opening gala was one of the biggest events for the Devils. It was when the team got to meet with donors and executive members. It was one of the last moments to come together as a team before the craziness of the season ensued. Several of the wives and girlfriends get together and plan the gala all through the off season. It was almost like a competition on how they could outdo themselves from the year before. You had attended the event in the past with your brother Nico, but this year, you were by Luke’s side. 

“Nervous?” You asked him as you sat in the back of the blacked out BMW. 

“A bit,” Luke sighed, running his hands over his gray plaid dress pants. He looked handsome in his designer suit, Nico had dragged him out to go get his first designer suit and said something about “you’re in the league now, kid”, and his fresh haircut. You had never been a big fan of mullets, until Luke walked through your front door supporting one. 

“Don’t be,” You assured him, grabbing his hand, “They’re gonna love you.” 

Luke looked at you. He had been speechless when you opened the door to your apartment. You had picked out a dark red dress, with a deep v cut that showed off just enough cleavage and a thigh high slit that showed just enough thigh. You wore most of your gold jewelry including the dainty necklace with a gold “L” charm. Your makeup was simple, not wanting to over do it, but made sure to put on lipgloss that would drive Luke wild. 

“Easy for you to say,” Luke scoffed, “You’re the team’s little sister. Everyone loves you.” 

“And now you’re the team’s little brother. Everyone is gonna love you,” You smiled up at him. Luke shared your smile as he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your glossy lips. 

The moment you walked into the ballroom, you gasped. The wives and girlfriends had outdone themselves again. The theme this year was “Old Hollywood”, and the room was decorated with various reds, golds and black items. You and Luke stood on the red carpet, your coworkers taking pictures of the players and their dates as they arrived. You felt bad not helping them, but they assured you that they would be okay without you for one night. 

The night went off without a hitch. You and Luke easily found your brother and his, who decided to be each other's dates instead of finding some girl to bring. You guys sat with them throughout the dinner and the speeches from the coach and the GM. Once the dancing portion of the night started, Nico and Jack disappeared, no doubt to find one of your female co-workers to dance with. 

You dragged Luke out to the middle of the dance floor, his hands on your hips while yours draped over his neck as the band played a cover of a pop song. You giggled as Luke twirled you around, your hands resting on his chest. His smile was so bright, it could’ve lit up the whole room. 

“I’m having fun,” Luke said in your ear. 

“Me too,” You said back. You weren’t sure if it was the bit of champagne in your system, or the excitement in the air, but you were feeling bold. You were very aware of Luke’s hands on your hips, and the way his hand had felt on your thigh earlier at the table. 

“Luke,” Your voice wavered a bit as he looked at you. You were about to say something when the band switched their tempo, to play a sensual slow song. The tension in the air seemed to grow, and you swallowed thickly as Luke’s eyes seemed to grow darker. His hands pulled you in closer to him, your chests nearly touching. 

“Luke,” You said again, and he hummed in response, “I. . . I want you.” 

“You have me, baby,” Luke answered, his eyebrows knitting in confusion. 

“No, I. . . I want you, Luke,” You said, putting emphasis on the word, “I’m ready.” 

It took Luke a moment, until the light bulb went off in his head, “A-are you sure? Cause there’s no rush. We don’t have-” 

You cut off his rambling with a soft kiss on his lips, “I want to,” You said again, “I promise I am sure.”

Your heart was pounding as Luke grabbed your face in his hands and brought his lips to yours for a passionate kiss. You both knew that this kiss was different as Luke’s hand wrapped around your waist, and pulled you close to him. Before things could escalate in the center of the ballroom, you pulled back, biting your lip and looking at Luke.

“Oh don’t do that,” Luke teased, pulling your lip away from your teeth, “Drives me fucking insane, I’d take you right here on the floor.” 

You whimpered at his words and rested your hands on his chest, “Take me to bed, Luke.” 

Luke pulled you quickly out of the ballroom, all but running for the elevator. You didn’t even stop and say goodbye to your brother or his, which you guess was a good thing. You didn’t really feel like explaining to them or telling them that you two were leaving early. There was a certain excitement as Luke put his arm around you, as you watched the floor numbers take them up to their room. The second the elevator doors opened, Luke grabbed your body and put you over his shoulder. 

“Luke Warren!” You exclaimed as he playfully smacked your ass. 

Luke opened the hotel room door and walked over to the bed, laying you down gently. He quickly climbed on top of you, putting his knee between your thighs as he leaned down to kiss you. Your hands tangled in his curls, tugging on them slightly. This part, you had done before, making out like teenagers. You felt comfortable doing this, but when you felt Luke’s hand skim up the slit in your dress, you froze a bit. 

“Wait,” You sucked in a breath, and Luke pushed off of you. It took everything in you not to frown at the loss of heat from his body. 

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t-” 

“I want to,” You assured him, placing a hand on his cheek, “It’s. . . you’re going to wrinkle my dress.” 

Luke chuckled, climbing completely off the bed and holding out his hand to you. He pulled you to your feet and you turned so your back was to him. Without even saying, Luke’s hands went to the zipper at your shoulders, carefully sliding it down your body. He leaned forward, placing soft kisses on the back of your neck and shoulders as he slid the straps down your arms. You leaned back into his embrace, letting the fabric of the dress fall to your feet. 

“Luke,” You whined, “It feels good.” 

“Does it?” You could feel his cocky grin against your skin, “If you feel this good from me kissing your neck, just you wait.” You looked over your shoulder at him, his green eyes a shade darker, “Lay down for me, baby.” 

You nodded, laying back on the center of the bed. Luke kicked off his shoes, making quick work of his dress shirt and pants, tossing them across the room. Luke hovered over you, taking in the sight of you under him. You tugged him down, until his lips were on yours. 

Luke’s hips grinded against yours, getting a moan to leave your lips as one of his hands pulled your leg over his hip and the other groped your breast. You had never been touched like this, and it made Luke’s cock stiffen even more, knowing that he was the first one. That you trusted him that much with your virginity. His other hand went around your back, and unclasped your bra. He leaned back on his heels as he gently pulled the bra off your body. Your hands went right away to cover yourself and Luke shook his head. 

“Don’t hide from me, sweetheart, don’t ever hide from me,” Luke said, “You are perfect. So fucking perfect,” Luke leaned down, his tongue swirling around your nipple before sucking it into his mouth. You gasped at the feeling, your hands going to the back of his head to hold him there. He looked up, seeing the blissed out look on your face. His fingers pinched and rolled the nipple of your other breast. 

“Luke, please,” You moaned, thrusting your hips up. You had felt this feeling before when you’d make out. The feeling of wetness and gentle ache between your thighs. You clenched your thighs together to try and relieve some of it but it wasn’t helping. You needed more. You needed Luke. 

“I got you, okay,” Luke assured you, “I’ll give it to you, but I gotta make sure you’re ready first,” You nodded as Luke began kissing down your body. The lower he got, the more you ached for him. His fingers tapped at the top of your black lace panties, and looked up at you. 

“Can I?” 

“Please,” You nodded your head. 

Luke pulled the garment slowly down your legs, before tossing them across the room. Your core was glistening and Luke let out a groan. It was hard for you to not try and cover yourself, especially with how Luke was looking at you. He ran a singular finger through your soaked folds, and you let out a moan. He circled your clit a couple of times in lazy circles, watching as your body withered from the pleasure. 

“Can I touch you here?” He tapped his finger at your opening and you nodded. Slowly, Luke pushed a finger inside of you, feeling you stretch around him. It felt foreign to you, and Luke didn’t start moving his finger until he felt you somewhat relax. He moved his finger in and out, slowly curling it against the spongy spot inside of you. 

The pleasure was nothing like you had felt before. It was beautiful and you were craving more. It felt like butterflies in your stomach, like when you’d go down a large drop on a rollercoaster. Luke watched you, and leaned in between your legs, his tongue licking your clit. 

“Oh!” You exclaimed, your hand going to his curls, “Fuck, yes, Luke.” 

“You taste like heaven,” Luke said from between your legs. His tongue lapped at you like he was a starved man, and you were the first meal he had in weeks. You felt the pleasure build, your legs beginning to tremble against his head. His large hands pushed your thighs down, keeping you open to him as he ate. 

“Luke!” You whined, “I- fuck!” Luke pulled away from your thighs, and you let out an exasperated whine. 

“Oh don’t start whining,” Luke chuckled, “Don’t worry baby, I’m gonna take care of you,” All you could do was nod and watch Luke as he climbed off the bed and over to the overnight bag he packed. He pulled out a condom, and discarded his boxers. Your eyes went straight to his dick, and you unabashedly licked your lips at the sight of it. He smirked, noticing your lust filled eyes on him as he opened the condom and rolled it on his shaft. 

Luke crawled back on top of you, placing one of his hands by your head. He grabbed himself in his hand, lining up with your entrance. You took in a deep breath, as you felt the tip of his cock nudging at your cunt. 

“If it hurts or becomes too much, tell me, and I’ll stop. If you don’t want to do this anymore, you tell me to stop.” 

Your hands skimmed up and down his muscular back, as you tilted your head back to look at him, “I want this, Luke.”

Luke placed a kiss on your lips as he slowly pushed himself into you. He let out a sharp breath at the feeling of your warmth and tight walls. You dug your nails into his back, tensing up at the feeling. Luke thrusted slowly, letting himself slip in little by little and then pulling back out. 

“Don’t pull back,” You whimpered, and Luke nodded. He pushed himself about halfway in, and you squeezed his bicep. 

He looked down at her in a panic, and could see the tears pricking in your eyes, "Baby, tell me how it feels. It hurts, doesn't it? I can stop."

"No," You sighed, "It just feels weird. Keep going please, and just. . .  wait for a moment."

Luke nodded and continued to push into your body, then becoming flush with your hips. You both let out gasps, and Luke caressed your cheek. He didn't even care about sex at this point, he was content with staying right here inside of you the whole night. You were keeping him warm and squeezing him just right. But then he felt you start to wiggle underneath him, moving your hips to try and get some friction.

"Move," You said softly, "Please."

"I'm going slow," Luke said, "I'll fuck you hard and fast another day. But I want to take my time."

You nodded and pressed your lips to his collarbone as he slowly drug his hips back, thrusting in and out of you. Your hands moved up his back and tangled in his hair. Grunts and moans left your mouths and mixed together in the air. Luke grabbed your thigh and hooked it over his hip, to reach a new angle. You closed your eyes as you felt the intense feeling in your lower body.

“Fuck,” Luke groaned, his hand gripping your thigh, “I love that no one else has seen you like this,” He was placing kissing on your neck, right below your ear, “That no one else has felt you before, been inside you.” 

“Luke,” You cried, feeling the pressure grow and grow. 

“They don’t get to have you, but I do,” Luke nipped at your neck. 

Everything felt so good from the way your body felt below his, to the way he seemed to hit all the right spots. The impending orgasms rose in your bodies and Luke smashed his lips to yours, swallowing your moans. Luke felt the rubber band in his stomach snap, and himself spilling into the condom. You could feel the warmth fill your body and Luke tried hard to not let his body collapse on top of you.

"Fuck," Luke moaned out, "I'm so sorry. I usually don't-" you cut him off with a kiss, and held his face in your hands.

"It was perfect," you said and Luke leaned his forehead against yours.

"Want to take a bath," Luke proposed and you nodded, "I'm going to pull out now, okay." Luke easily moved his hips back and you whined at the feeling, "Does it hurt?"

"Yeah," you answered, "It's okay."

Luke nodded and pulled back the blankets enough for him to slip out of bed. He could see the tiniest bit of blood on your thighs.

"Lay right there, I'll be back," Luke said, and went to the bathroom. He threw away the condom, and cleaned himself up. He slipped his boxers back on and grabbed a washcloth to clean you up. You were tapping your fingers on your tummy when Luke came back. You smiled up at him, as he kneeled between your thighs and cleaned you up. You hissed as the rough washcloth came in contact with your core.

"Sensitive?" Luke asked.

"Yes," You said, "D-Did I bleed?"

"A bit," Luke answered and kissed your cheek, "It's normal. Nothing to worry about, sweets. Do you want to get dressed?"

“No,” You shook your head, feeling comfortable laying naked on the soft sheets. 

"Get a snack and some water. I'll start the bath," Luke said, kissing your cheek. 

"I love you,” You said, placing a hand on his cheek before he could walk away. 

Luke smiled that half smile that made you weak in the knees, “I love you too.”

a/n: what do you guys want to see more of? blurbs, one shots, series, interactive series, insta edits? let me know!! :) (I am planning on a series hopefully soon)

[sweetbluus]

rumor has it

synopsis: rumor has it that yu jimin, straight A student and the star captain of the university's volleyball team, has only gotten to where she is through cheating and bribery. now, she's your partner for a final paper.

pairing: uni student jimin x uni student fem!reader

warnings: cursing

word count: 9.5k

notes: this is my first time uploading a piece on any media platform. feedback and comments are much appreciated!

the buzz of the students in the lecture hall dies down immediately as dr. kim, your english professor, walks in. you find your seat beside your best friend aeri and uncap your pen, ready to take notes. aeri, however, has different plans and rests her head on her arms, ready to catch up on sleep for the next hour. it isn't her fault that the university thought an 8 am english class was a great idea.

"good morning, class. let’s begin today’s lecture," dr. kim's voice echoes. with those words, you begin jotting down the professor's key points, making sure your handwriting is clear, knowing that the sleeping girl beside you will be asking for your notes later.

throughout the lecture, you can't resist sneaking glances at the girl two rows ahead of you. yu jimin sits there, in all her glory. you don’t know many people at this university, but it's nearly impossible not to recognize jimin.

her face adorns bulletin boards all over campus, celebrating her role as the victorious captain of the volleyball team that clinched the national championship for the university. from life-sized cutouts of her and the team placed around various corners to her frequent appearances on the university’s instagram story, it's harder to evade her presence than to acknowledge it.

although you aren't particularly interested in sports, you can't help but admit that she is extremely attractive. however, you’ve heard numerous stories about jimin's infamous reputation, primarily from the napping girl beside you. apparently, jimin is a rude and overall unpleasant person who got her high grades thanks to bribery and cheating.

an hour drifts by, and finally, dr. kim speaks the much-awaited words, "alright, class. i believe that concludes today’s session."

before you can pack your bag and make fun of your friend for drooling, dr. kim interjects, "oh, before i dismiss you, i'd like to announce that the final paper is approaching. it will be a paired effort." a glance between you and aeri implies your agreement to be partners.

"i will be assigning the pairs randomly," the professor states, pausing to allow the students to voice their groans and complaints.

"is she serious?" aeri asks you in a hushed voice. however, it wasn’t quiet enough.

"yes, miss uchinaga. i am indeed serious," you stifle a laugh as your best friend's ears turn crimson.

"as i was saying, this final paper will be done in pairs that i will randomly assign. you are all adults, and it's important to learn how to collaborate with people you don’t know. this paper will facilitate that skill." it takes all your restraint not to roll your eyes. it's way too early to be doing this.

“when i call your name, come up to my desk and pick a piece of paper from this box which has the names of everyone in this class. show me the piece of paper and i’ll announce it. if it’s your own name, you can draw again.” dr. kim looks around to make sure the class understands the instructions.

“it seems like everyone has understood so we’ll begin. miss uchinaga and miss y/l/n, why don’t you do the honors and pick out your pairs first.”

you and a much more awake aeri begin walking to the front, not missing the way jimin’s eyes quickly meet yours. maybe you just need some sleep just like aeri.

with a sigh, aeri goes first and is paired with the girl who is sitting on the right of jimin, a girl with the name ning yizhuo. she seems nice enough with the way she smiles at aeri when she hears her name.

you go up to the box and rummage through its contents. stopping at what you feel is an appropriate time, you unfold the paper and show it to your professor.

“it seems like ms. y/l/n’s partner for the final paper is yu jimin,” you make eye contact with her as the professor calls her name, and you give her a tight-lipped smile. she meets your eyes and only gives you a small nod. you and aeri go back to your seats.

as the professor continues to announce pairs, you notice a mix of expressions – excitement and disappointment – on the faces of your classmates. some seem genuinely happy with their partners, while others exchange anxious glances.

“i am giving you all 2 months to work on this paper. please do not procrastinate. this is a major paper, and your grade on it will have an immense effect on your final grade overall,” dr. kim announces before she leaves the room.

the buzz of the students in the lecture hall continues once more, with the majority of the class talking to their partners. you take a quick look at your partner, who was still sitting next to what seemed to be two of her close friends, one of which was aeri’s partner and the other was a girl named minjeong, her co-captain.

“i’m scared,” you tell your best friend. “what if she makes me do all the work?”

“hey, don’t judge a book by its cover – or i guess a person by their rumors,” aeri says, getting up from her chair. 

“you’re the one who told me those rumors in the first place!”

“i would say i was spreading valuable information, not rumors,” aeri reasons as you both begin walking to exit the front door of the lecture hall.

before you both could step out the door, you feel a tap on your shoulder. you turn around, not expecting a certain raven-haired girl to be the one behind you.

“hi, y/n. i’m jimin,” she introduces herself to you bluntly without a smile on her face, how welcoming. before replying, you nod goodbye to aeri, encouraging her to go on without you.

“nice to meet you, jimin.” it was your first time talking to this girl, but immediately you could feel the pressure of her presence. you could barely look her in the eyes.

“here’s my number,” jimin hands you her phone with her contact information bright on the screen. “i have another class after this, but i’ll text you so that we can meet and talk about the paper.”

you nod, pulling out your phone and copying the numbers from her screen onto yours.

putting her phone back into her pocket, jimin begins walking out of the room with her two friends trailing not so far behind her.

“oh, and by the way, y/n,” jimin stops in her steps and stares you down in the eyes, “i won’t make you do all the work. i don’t trust you enough with my grades.”

you stand there, mouth slightly agape and face hot from embarrassment, watching the three girls walk out of your sight.

fuck.

"y/n, it's not that bad," aeri attempts to comfort you as she took a bite of her sandwich. hours had passed since you were paired with jimin, and now you found yourself in a university common space, trying to have lunch with aeri. however, the embarrassment from your earlier encounter was dampening your appetite.

"she probably hates me now, i can feel it," you sighed dramatically, plopping your head onto the cold table.

"what you're feeling is probably hunger. eat," aeri said, digging through your bag to retrieve your packed lunch. “it’s not your fault you didn’t know she had superhuman hearing,” aeri tries to make light of the situation.

"she's going to tell all her followers that i'm an asshole, and i'm somehow going to get expelled from this university," you exclaim with an exaggerated groan.

you're well aware you're being overly dramatic, but considering the rigorous academic demands of this university and the looming assignments, papers, and tests from multiple classes, your nerves are at an all-time high.

"first of all, calm down," aeri set her sandwich aside. "second, i know i'm the one who keeps you updated with all the campus gossip since you're practically a dorm hermit. but seriously, rumors are just rumors."

you didn't understand why she had to point out your introverted, homebody habits. "you should just let go of those rumors and form your own opinion about her once you actually get to know her."

you don't reply as you open up your lunch and began taking small bites. that was one of your biggest dilemmas. if you looked up "opinionated" in the dictionary, it would feature your face as an antonym.

always going with the flow, never wanting to stand out or have a loud presence, you'd rather take what you're given than go out and seek something yourself. hell, you couldn't even form an opinion on a tiktok without first checking the comments to see what the majority of viewers thought.

before you could spiral deeper into your thoughts, your phone vibrates.

yu jimin

this is jimin.

i’m free at 3 pm today. let’s meet at the library if you’re free too.

“who’s that,” aeri asks as she notices your eyes skimming over your phone. “it’s jimin, she wants to meet at the library later today,” you answer.

y/n

hi, jimin.

i’m free. i’ll see you then.

“ugh, i don’t want to go,” you complain to aeri.

“y/n, are you hearing yourself?” your best friend gives you a deadpan look, “this paper is worth more than half of our final grade. if you fail this paper, you’re going to fail the class.”

the weight of her words sinks in, and you're reminded of the possible consequences of not taking the paper seriously. of course, you knew that you had no choice but to go and work with the infamous volleyball team captain. while you were still quite mortified from your earlier interaction with her, you didn’t want to fail out of college just yet.

only the distant hum of quiet conversations and the faint rustle of pages moving could be heard as you enter the library.

as you weave your way through the bookshelves toward the back, you finally lay eyes on the person you were looking for. jimin is focused on whatever content is displayed on her laptop. you can't help but notice her furrowed brows and the subtle movement of her lips as she reads the text in a hushed voice. the sun's rays cast a gentle glow on the contours of her face, accentuating her features.

curse this university for having naturally well-lit buildings.

you gently tap her shoulder, careful not to startle the focused girl. you wish you could say that her expression softened the moment she turned and spotted you, but if anything, her features seemed to tighten. this was going to be a fun time.

“hi,” you say quietly to jimin as you sit down in the open chair in front of her.

"let's begin," she immediately suggests while you retrieve your laptop from your bag. "i understand that we could work on this individually in separate places since we both have access to this document, but i personally prefer collaborating face-to-face with my partner, especially for a final paper." you give a nod in agreement to jimin's proposal.

for the next hour, you and jimin discuss only the paper's details, staying firmly on the subject of your final paper. she has already outlined the content the two of you will cover, assigned each of you specific sections to write, and established a schedule for completing each part.

at one point, she asks, "what do you think? you haven't said a word about anything i’ve mentioned." her eyes remain fixed on the shared document displayed on both your screens, with a majority of the content coming from jimin.

"i mean, i'm fine with whatever," you reply. in group papers, you've never been inclined to voice your opinions or contribute ideas. don’t get it wrong, you're certainly not a freeloader, but you've never assumed the role of a group leader either.

"not even a single suggestion or comment?" she finally lifts her gaze from her laptop, locking eyes with you. you instantly break the brief eye contact you shared.

"no, i’ll give you some if i come up with any. besides, we still have 2 months ahead to tackle this paper," you explain, trying to reason with her. she releases a deep sigh and shifts her focus back to her laptop.

she clearly isn't your biggest fan.

"i think that's all we should do today. we've got a solid plan in place, and we can use the upcoming days to gradually work on this paper," she informs you, sliding her laptop into her bag.

you nod, following suit and tidying up your side of the table.

"i have classes from 8 am until 3 pm back-to-back," jimin rises from her seat and pushes her chair in. "i've got volleyball practice every day of the week, starting at 4 pm, except for wednesdays and thursdays." you raise your eyebrows at the mention of her grueling schedule.

“so, we can meet at the library on wednesdays and thursdays after my last class, which is at 3 pm," she looks at you, and you get the feeling that she's not suggesting a meet-up but rather informing you that it's already arranged.

“sounds good with me, i’m free those days as well,” you inform her with the awareness that she had already assumed so.

as she turns to leave, a feeling inside you compels you to apologize for the comment you made about her to aeri in the lecture hall earlier. but before you can muster the courage to do so, she's already gone.

for the next two weeks, you and jimin meet up at the library on wednesdays and thursdays. while you still saw her during your 8 am class, she was only focused on the lecture or in conversations solely with yizhuo and minjeong. however, in the privacy of the library, your interactions with her only happen through the shared online document where your collaborative work took place.

actual conversations, if they could even be labeled as such, between the two of you were few and far between. the only topic that managed to breach the silence was the ongoing discussion about the final paper.

during lunch, you update aeri about your library sessions with jimin. between bites of food, you express your worry, "i honestly don't know how i'll survive working with her for the next two months. it's not that she's a bad partner or anything. i just feel so awkward around her, like i want to disappear into the ground every time we're in that library."

aeri raises an eyebrow and helps herself to a piece of your food. "have you ever tried having a conversation that’s not about the paper with her? maybe if you initiate something, she'll actually have a real conversation with you."

thinking about it now, you realize that you've never actually initiated a conversation with jimin throughout the weeks of meeting up. it's always been her leading the discussions about the paper while you simply go along with whatever tasks need completing.

you sigh, setting down your utensils. "she probably can't stand me."

aeri counters with an exclamation, "she doesn't even know you! besides, she's not exactly a nobody on this campus. she's likely heard worse things from others. i doubt she even remembers whatever you said, considering her only focus is volleyball and school."

"sometimes, i really hate how you're right," you grumble, starting to clean up your lunch.

aeri smirks, taking the last bite of her food. "which is pretty much all the time."

with aeri’s words in mind, you walk into the library a little bit after 3 pm to where you and jimin sat. as per usual, jimin was already there with her laptop out, typing away.

"hey," you say in a hushed tone as you sit down. "i swung by the campus cafe before heading here and picked up a little something for you." you hold out a brown paper bag across the table, containing a warm muffin.

"food isn't allowed in the library," she remarks, not even lifting her gaze from her laptop.

you inhale sharply, feeling your cheeks flush with embarrassment. before you can pull your arm back, she reaches for the bag.

"but still, thank you. i'll save this for later," jimin looks up and offers you a nod with a ghost of a smile on her lips. “let’s get to work.”

around 30 minutes pass by and the silence has enveloped the two of you as it usually does in your meetings.

you stop your typing, that familiar feeling in your stomach urging you to break the silence. you find yourself wondering, what's the point? like aeri mentioned, jimin has probably heard worse things, and once this paper is finished, she'll likely forget all about you. after all, you're just another face in the crowd to her.

from the corner of your eye, you catch jimin glancing your way, noticing your sudden pause and distant expression.

“y/n,” she calls out, her voice pulling you back to the present moment.

you snap your attention to her. “yes?” you shake your head in an attempt to stop being swallowed by your thoughts. “did you say something?”

she raises an eyebrow, her gaze attentive. “that was the fifth time i tried getting your attention. are you alright?” you want to believe that there’s some sort of concern behind her question rather than just an act of common human decency.

“oh, yeah. my bad. i’m just tired. didn’t get much sleep last night,” you excuse. it wasn’t the truth but it wasn’t a complete lie either.

“that’s understandable, this semester is crazy,” jimin replies to you turning her focus back to her laptop.

"you're probably having the craziest semester out of any student here on campus," you remark, surprising yourself with the sudden courage to continue the conversation.

"what makes you say that?" jimin pauses in her work to look at you.

"i mean, i may not have the best knowledge of university sports, but even i know that being a team captain isn’t necessarily an easy responsibility. much less being the captain of a team with a national championship title under its belt," you explain. "plus, you have back-to-back classes from 8 am to 3 pm every day, and i assume you’re doing well in them, given the quality of your work in our shared class alone."

she lets out a quiet laugh - that was the first time you've heard it. "are you sure you’re not just making wild assumptions?"

your palms start to get sweaty, and you feel like you’ve definitely made a mistake. "i’m sorry-"

"i’m just joking," jimin interrupts you. "it’s absolutely not an easy schedule, but if you have to do it, you find a way. yizhuo and minjeong help me out a lot too."

"what do you mean 'have' to?" you silently curse at yourself for prying into her personal life.

"this is the most i’ve heard you talk, y/n," jimin says to you.

"i could say the same to you," you reply. "but, uh, don’t answer if you don’t want to, or if it’s too pers-"

jimin interrupts you once more. "it’s okay. i don’t mind. i prefer when people actually want to get to know me rather than making crazy assumptions that aren't true at all."

a twinge of guilt washes over you. even though you're disconnected from the campus social life, jimin's reputation has managed to reach your ears. many things have been circulated about her – from her attitude to her accolades, and even details about her love life, none of which appeared positive.

"back when i was younger," jimin begins, her vulnerability taking you by surprise, "my parents pushed me incredibly hard to excel in school. naturally, like most parents, they had aspirations for my success. they enrolled me in after-school tutoring to make sure i did better than all the kids in my grade. they also encouraged me to choose an extracurricular activity so that i’m not always buried in books. that's when i chose volleyball, obviously."

you absorb each word she says, intent on not missing a single one. here was yu jimin herself, an enigma of existence - simultaneously adored and despised. and now, right before you, she opens up and shares her story. the reason for her trust in you to this extent, allowing herself to be vulnerable, confuses you, yet you don’t mind at all.

“i have an older sister. she’s a hotshot lawyer now. she did well in high school and did very well in college unsurprisingly,” jimin shares and you notice a gleam of admiration in her eyes. “our parents never compared us to one another and we’re actually really close. besides yizhuo and minjeong, she’s one of the few people i can call my best friend.” you nod as she continues telling her story.

"my parents stopped pushing me so hard in high school," jimin continues, her eyes fixed on you to see if you’re still listening. you are. "they believed that i needed to find motivation within myself and take charge of my actions so that i wouldn't become overly dependent on them."

"so, no, my origin story isn't about parental pressure or living up to my sister's achievements. i believe i have to do well because... i want to. i have this belief that i'm destined for greatness, so i'll dedicate everything i can to achieving it,” jimin’s gaze turns serious. “even if it means having to deal with people who want to spread nasty rumors about me.”

you sit there in silent awe. you realize jimin was your complete opposite. jimin embodies a sense of ambition and dedication that you rarely exhibit. while you've often approached situations with passivity, avoiding confrontation, jimin radiates an unwavering pursuit of her goals.

the aspiration for greatness was something unfamiliar to you. your goals were straightforward – passing your classes, securing a well-paying job for the future, ensuring financial stability, and enjoying the company of your friends. as long as you had that, you were more than happy.

"what about you, y/n?" jimin's question breaks the quiet focus, both your laptops now lowered.

"what do you mean?" you ask, the confusion apparent on your face.

"i just shared something quite personal and vulnerable about myself. wouldn't it be fair for you to do the same?" jimin replies casually.

pausing, you contemplate your response. "i don't think i truly know myself."

jimin arches an eyebrow at your revelation. "what i mean is, i'm not sure who i am. throughout most of my life, i've mostly gone along with aeri, letting her lead me to new places and experiences. but i haven't really discovered a genuine passion for anything."

"i realize now how sad that sounds, especially to you, considering you're the complete opposite of that description," you continue, your voice steady. "but, despite it all, i'm still leading a pretty happy life. i've come this far, haven't i?"

jimin responds to your rhetorical question, her tone measured and thoughtful. "just because our ideals differ doesn't mean i can't accept your perspective. it's called empathy, y/n. i don't need to share your beliefs to understand where you’re coming from."

in that very moment, you feel the foundation of your assumptions about jimin, based on the rumors, begin to crumble.

"life isn't a competition, and you're absolutely right. if you're content and your actions aren't causing harm, doesn't that define a good life in itself?" jimin's words resonate with you.

as the sunset's warm glow graces jimin’s face, you find yourself thinking about how this girl in front of you has it all. no wonder she’s the topic of everyone’s conversations. her beauty is undeniable, she’s intellectually sharp, athletically skilled - she personifies an array of qualities that capture attention.

"thanks, jimin. your words mean a lot," you express, hoping she can hear the sincerity in your voice. "i've been wondering about something, though."

jimin responds, her curiosity piqued. "what's on your mind?"

"why did you feel so comfortable sharing that part of your life with me? don't get me wrong, i'm more than happy to listen, but we're practically strangers, and you opened up to me so easily."

jimin's gaze shifts toward the expansive windows. "like i mentioned earlier, it's a refreshing feeling when someone genuinely wants to know about my life, rather than blindly believing all those damaging rumors. believe me, i've heard them all, and most are far from pleasant."

before you could give her a reply, the librarian approaches your table. "excuse me, ladies. the library will be closing in 10 minutes. it's a good idea to start wrapping up and make your way back to your dorms," she advises with a warm smile, then walks away.

over the weeks you’ve been meeting with jimin in the library, you gradually get to know each other better. your talks shift from just focusing on the paper to real conversations. occasionally, you even end up talking more than working.

you find out that jimin is a big fan of anime. one of her favorites is "assassination classroom," and it made her cry. you’ve watched it before too, making you sob your heart out into your pillow after finishing it.

with a slight smile pulling at the corner of her lips, jimin confesses, "i've never really had the chance to explore many hobbies outside of volleyball. but i've always used anime to unwind and relax.”

you also learn more about her sister – you can't miss how her eyes light up whenever she talks about her. you discover that she has terrible eyesight and wears contacts every day since it would be impractical to wear glasses to volleyball practice.

you begin feeling a sense of connection as she opens up to you about her interests and her life. it's a side of her you never expected to see – a vulnerable, relatable side that defies the rumors and preconceptions you once held.

in return, you find that jimin learns more about you. you share that you and aeri have been best friends since childhood. during one conversation, you share a memorable experience from your past: the time you and aeri got lost on a mountain during a family vacation hike.

"how are you both still alive?" jimin questions, her words laced with a mix of humor and genuine shock.

"to this day, we still have no idea," you reply, chuckling at the expression on her face.

she learns that you’re an avid film watcher after you start giving her detailed film recommendations when she asked you what would be a good movie to watch for a girls night in with yizhuo and minjeong.

as you walk from your dorm to your 8 am class, which you share with aeri, jimin, and her friends, you pass by a group of students. normally, you would quickly walk past them, not caring about the nonsense they'd be talking about. however, that changed when they mentioned someone you knew.

"did you guys hear that jimin is sleeping with her best friend's ex behind her back?" the person who seemed to be the ringleader of the group shared, as the other students around them snickered. "isn't she such a backstabbing bitch? i also heard that the only reason she got a perfect score on that exam that everyone else failed was that she slept with that professor."

you slow your steps, listening to the lies spewing from their mouths. over the past weeks, you've learned so much about jimin, enough to know that none of what they're saying is true. you're extremely aggravated at their words. plus, who the hell has this much energy to be so negative even before 8 in the morning?

a part of you wants to ignore it and walk into your class. that would be the easiest option. haven't you always liked your life that way - easy and devoid of confrontation?

which is why you're extremely shocked when you find yourself standing in front of the instigator, going head-to-head with them.

"excuse me? have you ever heard of personal space?" they snide, making the other students around them laugh as well.

"have you ever heard of shutting the fuck up and minding your own business?” you don't know why, but the next sensation you register is solid bone connecting with your knuckles, knocking the ringleader out.

"does anyone have anything else to say?" you say through gritted teeth, the ache in your knuckles resonating alongside the rapid thumping of your heart.

the mouths of the students around the unconscious ringleader drop. before anyone can say anything, you hear someone's voice.

"y/n!" aeri yells and grabs your arm, dragging you away from the group of students and into a private hallway near the lecture hall. next to her is her partner for the paper, yizhuo, along with minjeong and, of course, jimin herself.

"what happened?" asks one person from the group. you're unsure who.

"are you okay?" says another person - you still don't know who's talking.

"why did you do that?" questions a third voice. you're wondering the same thing. everything was blurry, and it felt like you couldn't breathe. your chest was heavy, and the burning sensation in your knuckles was bothering you beyond words.

it's so early, just 8 in the morning, and here you were, out of your mind. they help you sit down on a bench.

"you three go to class," the fourth voice tells the others. "i'll handle this."

"are you sure?" you register a figure nod at the question and then hear footsteps walking away from where you were.

"y/n, you need to take deep breaths and calm down, okay? you're safe. nothing bad is going to happen to you right now," the voice assures. their words help you see clearly again.

with a shaky voice, you ask, "jimin? what are you doing here? you're going to be late for class."

"the lowest grade i’ve made in that class for the whole semester was a 98, i'm sure i can miss one lecture," she says jokingly, and you notice she's trying to lighten the atmosphere. "i never knew you had a solid punch like that."

"i didn't either," you let out a breath of disbelief. "something just came over me, and i couldn't stop myself."

"what happened? that's probably the last thing i thought you'd do," jimin asks, holding your hands to steady them, with a much looser grip on the injured one that you used to knock that annoying student out.

a moment passes before you try to explain. "they were talking... about you," you hesitate. jimin raises an eyebrow. "that person was saying terrible things about you, and they were all lies!" your voice gets louder. "all lies, jimin."

"i might not be yizhuo or minjeong, but after getting to know you these past 2 months, i felt like i had to do something. i wanted to defend you, even though you probably didn't need it," you ramble, not stopping. jimin listens carefully.

"i couldn't just walk away. i usually would, but... i couldn’t this time. they were saying horrible lies. it was so wrong," you exhale deeply, realizing you were holding your breath. "i hated hearing that about my friend."

before you can apologize for assuming your closeness, jimin's lips curl into a smile. "thanks, y/n. i really appreciate you standing up for me. i really do."

she looks you in the eyes, and you can feel the gratitude radiating from her. "i've grown thick skin to the rumors, and they don't bother me as much as they used to when i first started hearing about them, so you don't need to worry about me."

"still, i'm very grateful to know that i have a friend like you who would defend me to that extent. but next time, just ignore them. i wouldn't want you getting expelled from the university just because of those lifeless losers," she smiles at you, and you feel a tug on your heart.

you nod, not sure what to say. "my hand hurts so bad," you manage a laugh despite the pain.

"let's get you an ice pack from the clinic," jimin helps you up, going with you. she holds your hand all the way until the clinic staff hands you an ice pack, but you're too focused on your hurting hand to notice.

that day, jimin learns that while you label yourself as non-confrontational and passive, you’re empathetic, loyal, and kind.

you meet up with aeri in the cafeteria for lunch. she glances at your bruised hand and the icepack you hold in the other hand.

“hey, y/n, is your dad a boxer? because you’re a total knockout!” aeri laughs at her own joke.

“you’re not getting any of my lunch today,” you say with feigned annoyance.

“no! i’m sorry!”

the realization comes at you out of nowhere while you're in the library with jimin, finalizing the remaining parts of the paper. as you steal a glance over the edge of your laptop, you observe jimin with furrowed brows, her tongue peeking out in concentration, and her glasses perched on the bridge of her nose. she tells you its because she couldn’t find her contacts this morning.

it’s raining outside with dark and gloomy skies, casting a dim ambiance over the library. despite it all, jimin shines in your eyes. it’s been like this ever since the incident. you’re extremely thankful that no person of authority caught wind of the situation. you're even more appreciative that despite the confrontation that led to you knocking out a fellow student, you weren’t expelled.

jimin has always possessed a beauty that captivates you. but now, you couldn’t see anyone else but her. whenever you're with her, your heart races, your hands sweat, and your stomach twists. you're not sure why. it's an uncomfortable feeling, yet you don't hate it. instead, you welcome it. you swear you can feel her eyes on you at times. or maybe it’s just sleep deprivation.

it’s when she calls your name, "y/n," you lift your gaze, meeting her eyes. they shine brightly despite the darkness in the building, her hair framing her face exquisitely. "i really liked your latest addition to our paper. i think it really captures what dr. kim is looking for," she says, a smile gracing her lips. in that moment, that’s when it hits you.

she really liked your work and you really liked jimin.

“aeri, i don’t know what to do," you muffle into your pillow. the two of you are currently in your dorm, a space free of roommates thanks to your parents' decision to splurge a little.

"just tell her you like her," aeri offers a solution to your current dilemma, as if it's the simplest thing in the world.

"that's insane. i could never do that!" you shift onto your back, still laying in bed, and glance at aeri, who's absorbed in her phone and helping herself to snacks from your fridge.

"that's not insane. you want to know what's insane? walking up to a stranger and knocking them out before 8 in the morning. that's insane," aeri retorts.

you toss a pillow at her, not truly irritated because her point was pretty valid.

"y/n, just be honest with her. if she feels the same, great! if not, it's not the end of everything," aeri speaks with sincerity, finally raising her gaze. deep down, you acknowledge that aeri's advice is good, great even. it's also the most sensible approach.

you don’t listen to it at all.

with less than a week left before the final paper's due date, you have two more library meetings with jimin and see her in your english class every tuesday and thursday. despite these many chances to talk to her, you try to completely avoid her.

you fail in doing so. although you avoid her eyes during the 8 am class, rushing out with aeri to prevent any conversations, the final paper still needs to be finished.

this meeting feels reminiscent of the initial paper discussions, where conversations centered solely on the final paper. you avoid looking at her, which is out of the ordinary since you spent most of these meetings simply looking at her.

"are you okay?" jimin's face shows concern, her question directed at you.

"yeah, just feeling tired," you respond with the same excuse. it’s become a reflex at this point.

“alright,” jimin replies to what you assume was the end of the conversation. “so, can you tell me why you’re avoiding me?” damn.

“what do you mean?” you try and play it dumb, but even you couldn’t believe yourself.

"i'm not stupid, y/n. why are you so distant all of a sudden? i thought we'd moved past that after all this time," jimin studies you, her expression unyielding.

you quickly attempt to come up with a lie. "i'm sorry, jimin. i've just been swamped with finals from other classes, and my grades are really low. i need to do well on them to avoid failing," you deliver the excuse, hoping it sounds convincing enough.

fortunately, jimin seems to believe it, her expression easing. "i’m sorry for assuming it had something to do with me. i'm used to being at the center of problems most of the time,” there’s a hint of playfulness in her tone, an attempt to lighten the atmosphere.

guilt engulfs you as you face her. you're strongly tempted to just tell her the truth.

"no need to apologize, jimin. it's not your fault at all. it's mine for procrastinating on my other assignments," you offer a smile.

that night, you struggle to fall asleep as you overthink the potential outcomes of confessing - or not confessing - your feelings for jimin. the most extreme scenario that haunts your mind is her hating you and refusing to speak to you ever again. you don’t sleep at all that night.

you're standing in line at the campus cafe, desperately in need of a caffeine boost before your 8 am class. your phone displays aeri's message specifying the coffee she wants. you try to blink away the sleepiness with little success.

"y/n?" a tap on your shoulder startles you, and you turn to find yizhuo and minjeong behind you in line.

momentarily taken aback, you don't respond immediately, processing which one of them tapped you.

"you look like you got run over by a truck. are you okay?" yizhuo's concern is evident.

"yiz, you can't just say that! i'm sorry, she doesn't mean it negatively, i promise," minjeong interjects, playfully slapping yizhuo's shoulder.

despite your fatigue, a soft chuckle escapes you at their antics. "it's alright, i understand. i pulled an all-nighter last night studying for an upcoming exam." the lies come more easily now.

"oh, yeah. jimin's told us that you've been working hard lately," yizhuo shares, prompting you to raise an eyebrow. jimin talks about you?

"jimin always talks about you! we had a movie night last weekend, and she made us watch a film because she said you recommended it," minjeong adds, causing a blush to rise to your cheeks.

"how did you guys like it?" you ask, still surprised that jimin talks about you.

"we loved it. you have really good taste!" yizhuo's enthusiasm is unexpected, especially before 8 am.

"you and aeri should join us one of these nights. jimin would love to have you over. maybe after finals or after our game on friday? we can order pizza and snacks for dinner," minjeong suggests.

“plus, it can be be a little celebration for submitting dr. kim’s final paper and surviving her class,” yizhuo adds.

minjeong's invitation sounds far more appealing than your usual friday night, which typically involves binge-watching anime or kdramas in your dorm, sometimes with aeri if she doesn't have a party to attend. "sounds great, just text me the details."

finally at the cashier, you place orders for both your coffee and aeri's coffee. after a short wait, you receive your drinks and wait for yizhuo and minjeong. together, you enter your 8 am english class and send a small smile toward jimin before taking your seat next to aeri at the back.

today marks your final meeting with jimin in the library for this paper. the paper is fully completed, and the only task left is proofreading the sections.

"jimin, i have a question," you begin.

"about the paper?" she looks up from her laptop, meeting your gaze. you still can’t decide if her love for eye contact is a blessing or a curse.

"no, not about the paper. i just want some advice."

"oh?"

"it's nothing too heavy, i promise." you briefly glance down at your laptop's keyboard before returning your attention to her. "have you ever felt scared?"

"many times, yes," she replies. "but i thought you said this wasn't going to get heavy?" jimin's tone carries a playful note.

"it won't! i was just curious… how do you get over fear?" you ask earnestly.

"well, if i’m scared and it's a matter of my own safety, i avoid it. i have too much to live for," jimin senses the seriousness in your tone and tries to lighten the mood. "but if the fear stems from the possibility of failing or not achieving something, i tend to just disregard it and overcome it."

"if i let fear dictate my actions every time, i wouldn't be here today. i probably wouldn't have even picked up a volleyball. i might've dropped out the moment people started saying hurtful things about me," jimin muses, delving deep into thought.

"yes, certain things can be scary, but it's scarier to miss out on opportunities because fear is holding you back," jimin concludes her response.

a moment of silence passes. "you could give a ted talk with answers like that," you quip.

she playfully swats your hand. "finish proofreading your sections. we're almost done with this paper."

two hours pass, and you lean back in your chair. "i close my eyes, and all i see are punctuation marks," you groan.

"well, here's some good news. we can email this to dr. kim tomorrow during her office hours and officially put our final paper for this class behind us," jimin's enthusiasm is evident.

"so, no more library meetings, huh?" you sit up straight.

"no, but we'll still be seeing each other often. are you coming to movie night tomorrow?" jimin questions, tidying up her side of the table.

"i am," you reply, closing your laptop.

"don't tell me you plan on treating me like a stranger after we submit this paper," jimin jokes, standing up and collecting her bag.

"i would never," you respond.

she chuckles at your remark before reaching into her bag. "are you hungry?"

you walk alongside jimin. "a bit. i'm heading to aeri's dorm for dinner. she cooked japanese food for us."

"i'd think you two were roommates," jimin tells you as she pulls a brown paper bag from her backpack.

"well, considering how often she's at my place, i can see why. but no, we're not. she lives right across the hall," you explain.

"here," she hands you the paper bag. "take this. the girls and i went to an off-campus restaurant for lunch earlier, and i thought of getting you something as a small thank you."

"thank you? for what?" you inquire while accepting the bag.

"for being an amazing partner on this paper, of course. i've got to go. yiz and i have plans. i'll text you tomorrow about when to submit the paper," she informs you.

assuming she's about to walk in the opposite direction, jimin surprises you by enveloping you in a warm hug. naturally, you reciprocate.

"i'll see you tomorrow!" jimin calls out, walking out of your sight.

at aeri’s dorm, you devour the food that she’s prepared for you. “this is so good. have i ever told you that i’m so glad you’re my best friend?” you tell her through bites of food.

“only when i cook for you. now, close your mouth and chew properly. i don’t know how to do the heimlich maneuver.” aeri looks at the brown paper bag by your feet and points to it. “what’s that?”

“i think it’s a dessert or something that jimin got me.” you notice the look on aeri’s face. “don’t even start. it was just a little thank you for helping on that final paper.”

“i didn’t say anything. i might need to get yiz a little something too, considering what a great partner she's been," she teases

“ugh, whatever.” you finish your meal and share the slice of cake jimin got you with aeri.

later that night, as you lie in bed, jimin's words echo in your mind.

fear holds you back. fear holds you back. fear holds you back.

you open your eyes to the grating sound of your alarm the next morning and see a notification from jimin.

yu jimin

hey, good morning

just a reminder to email your copy of the paper to dr. kim at 8 am!

have a great day ahead :)

y/n

good morning

will do

have a great day as well

before you leave your dorm, you open your laptop and schedule send your copy of the final paper to dr. kim for 8 am. 

making your way to class, you spot a poster on a campus bulletin board.

"i think fearless is having fears but jumping anyway." huh? your confusion lessens as you realize it's an ad for the swiftie club on campus. you can't help but question why they'd position their ad right next to jimin's volleyball photo.

before entering the lecture hall for your biology class, another banner catches your eye.

"do not be afraid." what's with all these posters? you realize you hadn't finished reading it. "do not be afraid… to join us in the bible study club!" why do all these clubs insist on placing their endorsements next to the volleyball team's photos?

you could barely focus during the biology lecture, only hearing fragments of the professor's words. that is, until the professor singles you out, "miss y/n, why are you afraid?"

"excuse me, professor?" to say you're surprised would be an understatement.

"i asked you a question," the professor's expression turns unpleasant. "why do cells degrade?" there's no doubt you're losing your mind.

thankful that you won't see jimin until later, you use your free time to calm down and regain your composure.

walking through the university building's halls, you accidentally collide with an enthusiastic student. "have you ever been rejected?"

"what?" you react with genuine surprise.

"we're conducting a focus group discussion for our thesis on people who've experienced rejection. if you fit the criteria, your participation would be appreciated," the student hands you a pamphlet.

"oh, no thank you." you brush past the dejected student. spotting an empty hallway bench, you sit down, putting your head into your hands. it's as if you're spiraling into insanity.

what exactly are you afraid of? rejection? embarrassment?

all your life you’ve done nothing but run away from your problems. always finding the easy way out of everything. you’ve never wanted to face any problem or challenge head-on, deeming them unworthy of the trouble and effort.

lifting your head from your hands, you slump into the bench, trying to break free from your unhealthy mindset. 

that’s when the realization finally comes to you.

jimin is worth it. she's worth every bit of trouble in the world. she's worth every second of your time. she's worth it all.

you rise from the bench, your feet moving faster than your brain. inside the university gymnasium, students stream out of the volleyball courts, signaling the end of the game. quickly heading to the back where the locker rooms are, you spot minjeong outside.

"y/n? what brings you here? i didn't see you during the game," minjeong questions, looking at your disheveled appearance.

breathless, you hadn't realized you were running. "not at the game…" you struggle for air, "jimin…" you hunch over, attempting to regulate your breathing. "where?"

minjeong places a hand on your back. "before you go looking for her, make sure you don't faint right now," she advises. it's amusing, really, the volleyball player who just finished a game telling you to relax.

"she's in the back of the locker room. she's alone in there since everyone else quickly left because it’s a friday night," minjeong informs you. "only athletes are allowed inside." a frustrated groan escapes you. "however, if it's important, i can pretend i never saw you go in," minjeong adds, a sly smile forming on her lips.

you've never set foot in the locker room before. the idea of being here seemed distant, even impossible. yet, you continue forward until you spot the one person who's been on your mind since the very first conversation.

"y/n? how did you manage to get in?" jimin's voice carries a mix of surprise and curiosity.

you're thankful for minjeong's advice to catch your breath. "minjeong let me in." jimin's face is flushed, an unmistakable sign that she gave her all on the court. despite the disheveled hair and the sheen of sweat, she remains the most beautiful person you've ever seen.

"what are you doing here?" jimin stands from the bench, turning toward you.

"i needed to tell you something, and i couldn't hold it back."

"what is it-"

"wait. let me say this all before you say anything else, or i might just black out and forget everything." you inhale deeply. "throughout my life, i've let fear dictate my choices. i've been nothing more than a coward. i couldn’t even take a stance in a tiktok argument. confrontation scared me, and i felt like i could never handle it."

"i was always scared," you press on, sensing jimin's eyes on you. "until i met you and got to know you." your mouth feels dry. "there are so many things i want to say, but i don't want it to sound corny," you chuckle, noticing jimin's smile forming.

"through you, i've learned the worth of ambition and dedication. you've shown me that fear is something that can help you become the person you want to be, not stop you from becoming it," you pause, then continue, "you've given me a new perspective i never thought i could ever have."

“i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to talk this long,” you feel relieved as you see jimin laugh with you.

letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, “i like you, jimin. i have feelings for you.”

a beat passes and she doesn’t say anything. each second that goes by, you feel the dread within you grow more and more. as you were about to open your mouth to apologize, you feel jimin grab your arm. in the hush that follows your confession, you feel a rush of nerves coursing through your veins. jimin's grip on your arm is firm yet strangely comforting, and her intense gaze never wavers from yours. 

jimin's lips form into a gentle smile. "you really caught me off guard, y/n," she admits, her voice carrying a mixture of surprise and something you dare to hope might be fondness.

your lips quirk into a sheepish grin, your heart beginning to settle from the initial anxiety. "yeah, sorry about that. i didn't exactly plan to pour my heart out in the locker room."

jimin chuckles softly, her fingers lightly squeezing your arm. "well, i appreciate your honesty. it takes a lot of courage to say what you just did."

the warmth of her smile and the sincerity in her eyes encourage you. "you've been my inspiration for stepping out of my comfort zone," you confess, your voice steadier now. "i realized that i can't let fear hold me back anymore."

jimin's thumb draws a little pattern on your arm, sending shivers down your spine. "i'm glad to hear that. and you know what, y/n?" her gaze intensifies, a spark of playfulness dancing in her eyes. "i think it's only fair that i tell you something too."

your curiosity piques, your heart racing once again. "what is it?"

jimin's smile turns tender, and she takes a step closer, her free hand lifting to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. "i like you too, y/n. more than you can imagine."

you’re not afraid anymore. with a gentle yet firm pull, you bring her even closer to you. with a surge of courage, you close the distance between your lips.

the kiss is gentle, tentative at first, as if both of you are savoring the reality of this long-awaited moment. jimin's lips are soft and warm against yours, and her fingers find their way to your cheek, holding you tenderly. your heart thrums in your chest, the world around you fading into a distant blur.

as the kiss deepens, the initial hesitance transforms into unspoken understanding. lips meld with lips, sending electric sensations through your veins. it's an intertwining of emotions and desires, a connection formed by your honest words and the silent longing that brought you to this moment. 

when you finally pull away, your breaths mingle in the space between you. jimin's eyes are half-lidded, her lips still just a whisper away from yours. "i think you’re braver than you thought," she mumbles, her voice laced with newfound intimacy.

you share a breathless chuckle, your forehead resting against hers. “to be honest, i didn’t even think i’d make it this far.”

“are you guys done?” minjeong yells from the entrance of the locker room. “i’m hungry!”

both you and jimin share a laugh at minjeong. you reach for her bag and proceed to walk out of the locker room, your hands intertwined comfortably. together, you make your way to yizhuo's dorm, where aeri had already joined.

the soft glow of the television screen in the living room casts a gentle illumination on you and jimin, who are cozily seated on the couch. your hands are intertwined beneath a comfortable blanket, and a bowl of popcorn rests between you. the film playing on the screen has captured your undivided attention, while jimin is having trouble deciding either to watch the movie or you instead.

aeri and minjeong stand together at a distance, with yizhuo in her kitchen. the trio is busy preparing the remaining food to be served later in the night.

"i can't believe y/n actually did it. i can't believe your idea actually worked, minjeong," aeri whispers to the two girls.

"it was only a matter of time. i couldn't stand hearing jimin talk about her endlessly, looking like an oblivious lovesick puppy that was kicked onto the street," minjeong rolls her eyes at the memory of her friend. "i'm glad she finally admitted it to herself too."

"it wasn't minjeong's idea at all! it was my idea to go to the campus cafe that morning when you told us she'd be there," yizhuo points out. "plus, let's not take any credit from y/n. we may have given her some hope that jimin liked her, but at the end of the day, she was the one who made the move." aeri and minjeong nod, agreeing with yizhuo’s points.

“how’d you even know y/n was going to be at the cafe before class, aeri?” minjeong asks, finishing plating the dishes.

“she texted me she couldn’t sleep and asked if i wanted coffee before our 8 am class at 4 in the morning that day,” aeri explains.

“makes sense,” yizhuo points out.

the three girls make their way over to where you and jimin are seated, each holding plates of food in their hands. aeri takes the seat next to you, while minjeong and yizhuo settle on the floor amidst pillows and blankets, arranging the plates.

your gaze occasionally shifts from the movie playing to the people around you. there's a sense of contentment in this simple act – being in each other's presence, a shared moment that speaks volumes beyond words. back then, it was difficult for you to decide what you wanted and even what to think. now, looking around, you know for sure what you want.

you turn to face jimin when she squeezes your hand under the blanket. here she was, in all her glory. 

you inch closer to her, resting your head on her shoulder. despite the gentle embrace of that moment, an urge runs through you - to dismantle each and every single dreadful rumor about jimin. she was more than just the petty and nasty words of thoughtless individuals who thrived on idle gossip.

in your eyes, she embodied all that was beautiful and kind in the world. with her by your side, fear dissolved into insignificance, its grip over you gone.

“i really like you,” you whisper, only for her to hear.

“i know. i really like you too,” she whispers back to you.

additional notes: it's my first time ever uploading a piece on any platform! i hope you all enjoyed reading. i don't really know how to work tumblr, i just want to share my writing lol. your comments and feedback are much appreciated! but pls be kind, i am sensitive hehe

[tkwrites]

Snapshots Masterlist

Quinn Hughes x ofc

Are Quinn Hughes and Sarah Roberts fated to be together? It seems like it. Follow their journey from a spur of the moment first date to falling in love and all the good and bad in between.

These snapshots are written in whatever order strikes my fancy, but there is a loose timeline they fall into. I've listed them in both timeline and posting order. There are some timeline inconsistencies that will be edited as needed. In the meantime, let's just agree to pretend they don't exist. Also, the season the Canucks are playing in is obviously fictional and doesn't follow any actual season.

• Please be aware, this series deals with a lot of grief.

The Snapshots playlist can be found here.

Other work can be found on my Fanfiction Masterlist.

*indecates smut

In Timeline Order:

Our Heroes Meet: When Quinn and Sarah meet, they’re pulled into each other's lives in a way neither one expected. 

Worth the Wait: It takes more than a week, but Quinn and Sarah finally go on a date.  

Second Nature: Sequel to Worth the Wait, Quinn and Sarah have their second date. Getting to know each other in many ways is like second nature.

Can I Come See You? After a rough game, Quinn seeks out comfort from Sarah. 

Love Me Gently* Early on in their relationship, Quinn and Sarah have their first really sexual encounter, and learn about each other along the way. 

The Second Time is Better* Sequel to Love Me Gently, Quinn and Sarah have sex for the first time. After a disappointing first performance, they're in for an experience much deeper than either one expected. 

First Fight: Quinn and Sarah have their first fight - we learn more about Quinn’s previous relationship

Better: Sequel to First Fight, Sarah meets Brady and Emma and is thrown into the world of hockey outside the rink. Jack and Luke hear about their relationship in a less than favorable way. 

He's Got It Bad: When Sarah meets the team at Conor's birthday party, not only does she get to know Quinns teammates and their partners, she enters a world she never expected. At practice the next day, the guys congratulate and tease Quinn mercilessly.

I'll Be Proud For You: When an opportunity for Quinn to meet her uncle arrives, Sarah jumps at the chance and they attend a St. Patrick's Day party at her uncle's house on Salt Spring Island. On the ferry ride back home, Sarah finally explains why she had to be close to family after her mothers death, necessitating her move to Vancouver. 

Messages* Missing him something fierce, Sarah sends Quinn a video of herself in his bed. 

Before I meet your parents...* As Sarah prepares to meet Quinn’s parents, she’s bombarded with new feelings and situations, as well as trying to manage her own life. A very worried Quinn helps her get to the bottom of it and does everything he can to make it better. 

Sarah Meets the Parents: As Requested, Sarah meets Ellen and Jim.

Congratulations* Sarah congratulates Quinn on clinching into the playoffs.

Happy Birthday, Sarah: Quinn is gone over Sarah’s Birthday. 

Good For You* Quinn and Sarah have a discussion about and decide to stop using condoms before putting that decision into practice. A question we’ve all been waiting for is finally asked.

Private Lessons: As requested by @eyesthatroll, Quinn teaches Sarah to skate.

Shoot The Moon* The snapshot that started it all - Quinn comes home exhausted from a rough road trip. After a good night's sleep, he decides to try out some new things with Sarah. 

Summer Decisions: An invitation to his family reunion over the fourth of July has Quinn and Sarah tumbling into a long conversation about their future in the off-season and beyond. Though the ensuing fight is resolved, the reality of their commitments vs. their love for each other is put to the test.

Let the Cleaners Deal With It: When Quinn wakes to Sarah frantically cleaning after unexpectedly getting her period, he insists she let the cleaners deal with it.

Harrison Butker Drama: A blurb about Sarah and Quinn reacting to the Harrison Butker Drama.

Understanding (or the one in which Jack Hughes is forced to get over himself): Still upset about finding out about her from Brady, Jack has some hesitations when he and Luke come to town for the Finals. Can he get over himself enough to see what Quinn and Sarah has is real?

Elimination* When the Canucks are eliminated from the Stanley Cup Playoffs, Sarah offers Quinn a kind of comfort he didn’t know he needed. 

Shaving: A blurb of Sarah reacting to Quinn shaving his playoff beard.

Love, Even in the Hard Parts When his mom can't make it to take Quinn to surgery, Sarah steps in in spite of her hatred of hospitals. 

The Invitation: Jack extends Sarah an olive branch

I miss you.* After their longest separation of the summer, Quinn and Sarah reunite.

I miss you. - Bonus Scene* A short continuation of I miss you. Quinn and Sarah make soft, sleepy love as they doze off for the night.

Can I Watch?* The day after I miss you: When Quinn discovers a vibrator in Sarah’s toiletry bag, it sets them on a course of discovery and pleasure neither of them planned on. After a wild afternoon, they discuss their fantasies.

Please* After they finally move in together, Sarah follows through with Quinn's request for her to edge him.

I can't believe you're here.* After a very long time apart due to bad timing, Sarah surprises Quinn on the road. Wearing his jersey, she fulfills one of his long harbored fantasies. The night just gets better when he sees what she has on underneath. 

In Posting Order:

Shoot The Moon* The snapshot that started it all - Quinn comes home exhausted from a rough road trip. After a good night's sleep, he decides to try out some new things with Sarah. 

Love, Even in the Hard Parts When his mom can't make it to take Quinn to surgery, Sarah steps in in spite of her hatred of hospitals. 

Love Me Gently* Early on in their relationship, Quinn and Sarah have their first really sexual encounter, and learn about each other along the way. 

Our Heroes Meet: When Quinn and Sarah meet, they’re pulled into each other's lives in a way neither one expected. 

The Second Time is Better* Sequel to Love Me Gently, Quinn and Sarah have sex for the first time. After a disappointing first performance, they're in for an experience much deeper than either one expected. 

Worth the Wait: It takes more than a week, but Quinn and Sarah finally go on a date.  

Messages* Missing him something fierce, Sarah sends Quinn a video of herself in his bed. 

Second Nature: Sequel to Worth the Wait, Quinn and Sarah have their second date. Getting to know each other in many ways is like second nature.

First Fight: Quinn and Sarah have their first fight - we learn more about Quinn’s previous relationship

Better: Sequel to First Fight, Sarah meets Brady and Emma and is thrown into the world of hockey outside the rink. Jack and Luke hear about their relationship in a less than favorable way. 

Before I meet your parents...* As Sarah prepares to meet Quinn’s parents, she’s bombarded with new feelings and situations, as well as trying to manage her own life. A very worried Quinn helps her get to the bottom of it and does everything he can to make it better. 

Private Lessons: As requested by @eyesthatroll, Quinn teaches Sarah to skate.

I miss you.* After their longest separation of the summer, Quinn and Sarah reunite.

I miss you. - Bonus Scene* A short continuation of I miss you. Quinn and Sarah make soft, sleepy love as they doze off for the night.

Sarah Meets the Parents: As Requested, Sarah meets Ellen and Jim.

I can't believe you're here.* After a very long time apart due to bad timing, Sarah surprises Quinn on the road. Wearing his jersey, she fulfills one of his long harbored fantasies. The night just gets better when he sees what she has on underneath. 

Happy Birthday, Sarah: Quinn is gone over Sarah’s Birthday. 

Let the Cleaners Deal With It: When Quinn wakes to Sarah frantically cleaning after unexpectedly getting her period, he insists she let the cleaners deal with it.

I'll Be Proud For You: When an opportunity for Quinn to meet her uncle arrives, Sarah jumps at the chance and they attend a St. Patrick's Day party at her uncle's house on Salt Spring Island. On the ferry ride back home, Sarah finally explains why she had to be close to family after her mothers death, necessitating her move to Vancouver. 

Elimination* When the Canucks are eliminated from the Stanley Cup Playoffs, Sarah offers Quinn a kind of comfort he didn’t know he needed. 

Good For You* Quinn and Sarah have a discussion about and decide to stop using condoms before putting that decision into practice. A question we’ve all been waiting for is finally asked.

Please* After they finally move in together, Sarah follows through with Quinn's request for her to edge him.

Harrison Butker Drama: A blurb about Sarah and Quinn reacting to the Harrison Butker Drama.

Summer Decisions: An invitation to his family reunion over the fourth of July has Quinn and Sarah tumbling into a long conversation about their future in the off-season and beyond. Though the ensuing fight is resolved, the reality of their commitments vs. their love for each other is put to the test.

He's Got It Bad: When Sarah meets the team at Conor's birthday party, not only does she get to know Quinns teammates and their partners, she enters a world she never expected. At practice the next day, the guys congratulate and tease Quinn mercilessly.

Understanding (or the one in which Jack Hughes is forced to get over himself): Still upset about finding out about her from Brady, Jack has some hesitations when he and Luke come to town for the Finals. Can he get over himself enough to see what Quinn and Sarah has is real?

Congratulations* Sarah congratulates Quinn on clinching into the playoffs

The Invitation: Jack extends Sarah an olive branch

Can I Watch?* The day after I miss you: When Quinn discovers a vibrator in Sarah’s toiletry bag, it sets them on a course of discovery and pleasure neither of them planned on. After a wild afternoon, they discuss their fantasies.

Shaving: A blurb of Sarah reacting to Quinn shaving his playoff beard.

Can I Come See You? After a rough game, Quinn seeks out comfort from Sarah. 

[longhardtransitionreturns]

I've always had this fantasy of not knowing I was pregnant, getting on a flight, and then having a really difficult birth on a plane while all the other passengers listen to my screams.

I spend the day leading up to my flight dealing with stomach cramps but figure they're either from the dodgy kebab I had at the pub or it's my period finally showing up. I've never been regular but it's been quite a while since I've had one so this could be the start of a really bad cycle.

I'm excited to wear my new jumpsuit, which is basically a one piece sweat suit that zips up the front. I'm meeting my partner when I land so I put on a tiny black lace thong and the matching bra and set off for the airport.

Wrangling my luggage while my stomach keeps clenching so hard it takes my breath away is difficult but I finally make it through security. I'm taking a break, rubbing my aching belly, when a pregnant woman passing grabs my shoulder and gives me a sympathetic smile.

"It hurts when they get rowdy, huh? Seems like they know when you're about to fly."

My cheeks turn red. I know I've been gaining weight but I didn't realize I looked pregnant!

I feel like it's rude to tell her that I'm not with child and actually just have to take a massive shit so I smile and mumble what I hope sounds like a sympathetic noise.

After unsuccessfully trying to go to the bathroom, I finally board my flight. I'm grateful to be in first class because it's suddenly really painful to sit any other way but with my legs spread wide.

I try to sleep, especially because I hate flying over the water and the first 6 hours of this flight are over the Atlantic. But not only does the pain in my stomach stop me from sleeping, it drives me from my seat every ten minutes to go strain on the toilet. I'm starting to freak out a little; I've never felt pain like this and for the first time I start to get scared something is really wrong.

Eventually even the engine noise can't mute the groans coming from the tiny plane bathroom. When I stumble out for my 10th time in 2 hours, the flight attendant is waiting with an annoyed looking man in a stained Metallica sweatshirt.

She stops me with a wary smile. "Honey, I think we need to get you checked out. This is John, he's an EMT. He's the only medical professional on board but he agreed to take a look."

John looks hungover or maybe still drunk and his agreement had to have been reluctant but he sits down with me in an empty last row of seats and starts asking questions about my symptoms. When I tell him I haven't had a period for almost a year but the pain feels a bit like period cramps, his eyes go wide as saucers.

"Uh, ma'am, I think I'm gonna need to check your vagina. I think you might be in labor."

I've had enough. This is the second time today someone has thought I'm pregnant! I get up and brush roughly past John and start making my way back up to my seat, hopefully to sleep.

I barely make it to the middle of the plane before the worst pain yet clinches my belly and I feel an undeniable weight plop painfully into my pelvis. It drops me to my knees and I'm suddelny howling in agony, much to the horror of my fellow passengers.

I don't even have time to think before I feel a pop and fluid gushes out of my twat, soaking my panties and jumpsuit. I feel just a second of relief before the pressure is back, worse than I've ever felt, and I know with sudden horrifying clarity that the weight is that of a baby moving down my birth canal.

"There's a baby in my pussy and I need to push!"

John and the flight attendant are immediately at my side, pulling me painfully to my feet. Before I really even know what's happening I'm in the galley in the back of the plane with John unzipping my jumpsuit and peeling my soaked thong down my legs. They lay me spread eagle on the floor and he sticks his fingers up me.

I'm pretty out of it from the pain and shock but over the next ten minutes I gather I'm seven centimeters dilated, it's three hours until we land whether we turn around or keep going, and I'm probably going to have to crown a baby lying on a dirty floor underneath the drawer where they keep the diet Coke and little bottles of liquor.

I can't really focus on anything but the pain, which now includes long, searing stabs through my back as well as my front. The pressure is insane. I never imagined birth would feel like my hips are going to dislocate because the baby passing through them is so big. I hear John say things like "back labor" and "posterior" and, worryingly, "very narrow pelvis" but by that point I am in transition and shaking and puking and pleading for someone to let me die it hurts so bad.

I learned later, through a TikTok video a fellow passenger posted that got four million likes, that I crowned for thirty minutes. The guy who posted the video made a time lapse and edited my screams for help and death over it. He even got a cheeky shot of my bruised, bleeding pussy stretched around the head at the widest point.

When it finally pops out, I pray my ordeal is almost over. But, no matter how hard John pulls or I push, the shoulders are jammed tight in my opening. I spend the final half hour of the flight with a massive head hanging out of me while I drift in and out of consciousness.

I remember how bad it hurt for that head to be jostled when the plane landed and it was agony to be lifted on to the stretcher, my legs carefully held wide to accommodate the head hanging between them. I remember being horrified most of the passengers were filming me being wheeled up the aisle, legs open, screaming about the pain in my pussy every time we hit a bump.

It wasn't until hours later, my 14lb son in my arms and the good drugs masking the horror of what they had to do to me down there to finally get him all the way out, that I realized the creative folks on the internet had turned my birth from hell into a trending TikTok song.

I never really found the humor in putting me screaming "I've got a baby in my pussy and I need to push" and "Oh my God, my clitoris just ripped" to music. Especially since all I got was a kid I didn't want and a lifetime fear of both birth and flying.

[swifty-fox]

Would you be happy to share a little bit of John's head space when he was arrested, unable to reach Gale (not even knowing if he was safe) and then when Curt told him he'd got in touch? LOVEEEEEED this part. Prison tropes are yummy #chapel au

(p.s. I hope he was loyal in jail too!)

ask and ye shall receive (sometimes)

Now on Ao3!

The cops chip his tooth clean off throwing him over the corpse of the Corolla. He watches the white bone bounce away as pain blooms vivid and sharp across his face. Cursing before the sensation truly registers, still processing the sharp crack he cusses out the hands roving over his body, dragging his arms roughly behind his back, cold metal clinching tight around his wrists.

“It was a con. It was my fuckin hand in my pocket! There’s no goddamn weapon if you’d listen to me for just a second you stupid fuckin’ pigs.”

There’s a gun pointed at him. He’s not used to the reversal. His side throbs in phantom memory.

Folded into the back of a cruiser like dirty laundry he leans back uncomfortably on his cuffed hands and runs his tongue over the jagged edge of his tooth again and again, shuddering at the pain of it. 

He pictures Gale on a bus to California, staring out the window and playing with his braid until the flyaways outmatched the hair tie. Usually, he was frowning slightly, unless he had a gun in his hand or he was looking at John, and John imagines himself pressing a thumb to the imaginary furrow of Gale’s imaginary brow. 

It’s soothing enough as he breathes and watches the cops rip apart the car, scattering his and Gale’s entire life across the roadside. 

He shouts, knowing they won’t hear him, “There’s no fucking gun!”

-*~*-

They don't quite rough ride him but a few of the red lights have his chest hitting the front seat for how he can’t catch himself with anything but his already sore face. He cusses them out for it every time.

-*~*-

He’s given some fresh from the bar bushy-tailed lawyer who can’t be any older than he is. Veal’s convinced he’s saving his life, arguing for time served on account of his lack of a permanent address and he smiles at him with teeth and tells the judge to go fuck himself. 

It’s stupid. He can hear Gale sighing in his ear. Gale with his serious face and eyes that went electric and feral with a gun on his hand, a mask over his face. Quick clever Gale who had only ever missed a single camera in all their time together. Gale who is in California, waiting for a partner in crime who will never show up now. 

They hit him with the full fifteen months, of course. John sits as the courtroom slowly clears, eyes fixed unseeingly at the desk and thinks he’s made the worst mistake of his life.

-*~*-

Gale, Gale, Gale. 

If he were a less secure man he’d be disgusted with himself how often he spent thinking about his partner in crime. The whip of his braid in the wind and the white slash of his teeth when John got him to truly smile. The taste of his sweat and the way he was slow to wake in the morning. Quiet and unspeaking as John slowly coaxed him from bed with his lips and soft murmurs. Sweet and slightly vacant until they got a cup of coffee in his hands. 

He runs over the last moments of them together, the animal panic in Gale’s face, the soft growl behind his kiss as John drank him down in the shadows. The stiff broad line of his shoulders as he boarded the bus.

Tucking the snowglobe into his bag when he wasn’t looking, John’s fingers shaking. 

He’s used to leaving. He’s left his family and he’s left friends and towns and places all over. He’s left girls in bed and boys in rest-stop bathrooms and he’s left a fair few morals at his father's grave too. 

Leaving Gale, or Gale leaving him, feels like it had been the most enormous thing he’s ever done. He’d waved the bus away and then sat in their car until the sun rose, trying to convince himself to turn the ignition and put the car in a direction that was not after Gale.

It was a good plan. 

It’s not Gale’s fault that John never knew how to keep his mouth shut, never believed this stupid little car that had been his home, and then their home, would ever give out on him.

John wonders how long Gale will bother to wait for him. He wonders if he’ll try to make his way back to their usual haunts, if he’ll cut and run like he’d been ready to do before John had whisked him away. 

He calls Curt every few days, leaning against the phone booth and working his teeth over the inside of his cheek. 

“Ain’t heard anything, Bucky,” Curt says voice as tender as it ever could be. 

“You’ll tell him?” John asks, as stupid as the question was, “If he calls you’ll tell him I didn’t mean to not be there.” 

-*~*-

The worst part, aside from the fact his heart is outside his body and somewhere in California, is that prison is boring. It’s not awful, Nebraska isn’t exactly a hotbed of violent crime, but even so John is sure to carry himself with every inch of his size, turns up the swagger in his step and drapes himself into chairs with a sprawl that shows off how little he cares, how confident he is in his place. He doesn’t start anything, but he doesn’t frame himself as someone easy to push over either. 

A lot of time is wasted away with physical activity. Basketball or wall ball with himself or teaching himself how to do chin-ups until his arms shake. It pays off. He wonders if Gale would like it.

He calls Curt, and Curt tells him he’s heard nothing and John spends his nights fantasizing about breaking out and somehow finding his partner in crime in the vastness of America to deal with it. 

-*~*-

His bunkmate is a rail-thin man named Hamilton. He’s got a gold tooth and a fucked up face and looks like the sort of guy who carries a knife just to show it off but he’s friendly and easygoing as they come and found a way to bring up his wife in every conversation. It’s charming until it gets annoying.

“The hell’d he even do?” He asks another inmate even though it’s considered bad manners. 

Douglass shrugs, carefully sketching his way through a letter, “His sister’s boyfriend put hands on her, so Ham took a hammer to ‘em.”

John taps out a cigarette,and offers one to Douglass because it’s the universal way of making friends, even behind chain-link fences, “Is his wife really in the circus?” 

“Fuck if I know.”

-*~*-

“Anything?”

“John, I promise you’d be the first to know.” 

-*~*-

Sometimes, rarely, and only late at night, John prays. They’d taken his father's crucifix with the rest of his personals and its absence was heavy around his neck. It’s more to his father that he prays anyway, rather than God. Asks him if he’d be proud – doubtful. Or if he’d think there was still time to save John – more likely. 

Remembers his big hand wrapped around John’s small one, tugging his balking form towards the church.

“Why can’t I just confess to you? Why do I have to do it with Pastor Coyne?

“Because as your father I’d be tempted to discipline or lecture you, Bucky. This is for you to be forgiven; for you to forgive yourself.”

He preferred his father’s God. But that God had been lowered into the ground right alongside Pastor Egan’s casket.

Look after him dad, he doesn’t have anyone doing it now. Needs it more than I do that’s for sure. Just make sure he’s among friends.

-*~*-

In the less romantic sense, he thinks about Gale a lot. It’s a gentleman's understanding, taking care of one’s needs; quiet and unobtrusive as possible. He’s heard Ham’s hitched breathing enough times during night or knowingly squeezed a few extra moments in the showers to allow the other man privacy. What a man does under the rough wool blankets they’re given is his own business. 

John thinks about Gale. About the wild pout of his lips that were the first thing John noticed. The hollow of his neck and collarbones, the way both fit perfectly between his fingers. How Gale’s eyes rolled as John squeezed tight, uncompromisingly trusting. The flushed curved of his cock sliding down John’s throat, splitting John open as Gale slipped elegant fingers into his mouth and made him suck the flavor of the leather wheel off them. 

Pulls himself off to the image of Gale’s broad tanned shoulders, speckled with water and braid tucked teasingly to one side. He’s smiling at John, glancing over his shoulder with the sun turning his lashes wispy and clear.

-*~*-

He gets prison ink, bored and reckless and maybe a little angry. Thick black stars on the front of his hips, and the constellation of the moles on Gale’s face on the inner corner of his elbow. Nonsense dots to anyone else but he knows they’re accurate down to the millimeter. 

It should be. He’s had three years to memorize them.

-*~*-

“John.” Curt says, voice short and shocked and clipped. He’s breathless, a little giddy in the pitch of his voice and John’s stomach drops right down through the concrete floor. 

“Is he okay?” are the first words out of his mouth.

-*~*-

Five minutes he speaks to Curt, five minutes before he hands up and dials the number he’d said aloud until he had it memorized without risk of failure. His hands don’t shake, but his heart feels like it’s about to give out and he’s worrying the inside of his cheek like a dog with a bone, the flaws gone raw and bloody. 

Gale Gale Gale.

It’s a mantra in his mind, a hail-fucking-mary and for once he barrels right past the memory of his father and thanks the big man directly. Because Gale is alive and Gale is whole and Gale has fucking found him. His fingers slip on the numbers, the phones connecting before it barely has the chance to ring and then John’s suddenly unable to breath as he hears a quiet exhale that’s as familiar as his own face in the mirror.

“Gale?”

A quiet sound of confirmation, thick with breathless emotion. The creak of plastic as the phone is gripped too tight. John presses his forehead against the top of the booth as if he might escape through the line itself and be back at his partners side.

“Hi doll,” He croaks, unable to keep the first smile in four months off his face, “Hi sweetheart.”

[heartfullofleeches]

VA Reader pulling a harmless prank on seemingly innocent yan-

Shhh.

"Be quiet, it's ringing!" Stifling your own baited laughter, you press a finger to your lips as you hold the phone to your ear - shushing your partner in crime. Huddled together on their couch, you and your accomplice hover over their phone like two kids. about to take part in the same comedic pastime. Similar to those fictitious children you both had trouble containing your excitement for the mischief planned to unleash. You angle the speaker below your lips as the line connects.

"Hello?"

"Hello, is Y/n in today?"

The line goes dead.

"What?" You dial the number again, beginning to wonder if this was as good an idea as when it was shoved in your head. You've been in the voice acting business for a couple months now - a lifelong passion finally realized with dedication and training. Paid roles were far in between, but you had fun with what you did, and were on the road to starting an asmr channel with the assistance of a good friend. Being somewhat of a prankster, that same person suggested you prank call your job and already had a script to boot. It was a little hard to say no with the effort they put into it.

"Hello?"

You regain peace of mind as the phone clicks. Too late to go back now. Once again you relax yourself, swallowing as you breath through your nose and draw your voice from the reaches of your throat.

"Hi, I called just a minute ago? I was asking about someone who may work there?"

The line goes quiet - again. You would've suspected them to have hung up again if not for the labored breathing on the other end. Your coworker forces out a chuckle.

"I'm sorry, nobody by that name works here."

One thing you learned after spending so much time together with this particular coworker was they were a terrible liar. It's what made you glad they're the one that picked up on top of their obvious caution in fear of your safety. Others would be glad to rat out your location if it meant less time take out of their schedule. If anything, the person you were speaking to now would drop everything to help you out. Just the type of person they were.

"Are you sure? We went out the weekend and they mentioned this place while we were talking. They suddenly stopped answered my calls after chatting not stop and I'm worried about them."

You read over your notes to pass the time until they reply. Wow, your friend really thought of everything. At this point you could possibly wing things out, but they had witten heavily in-depth paragraphs detailing possible scenarios and what to say as a result. Real gushy things too. If it weren't for their goofy nature you'd start to wonder what the true motives behind this prank were.

"maybe that's for the best."

"Pardon?" Your voice falters. That certainly wasn't what you expected. They seemed abrasive from the beginning of the call, but that drop in their tone was something you've never heard from them before.

"What do you mean by that?"

Your coworker mutters something you can't quite make out. "It means take a hint. They clearly aren't interested in you if there's no explanation for their disappearance - not that you deserve one. Who the fuck do you l think you are?"

Your hand clinches around the phone hearing that subtle hiss in their voice. Your friend grips your shoulder, worry clear as day. You wanted to drop the act, but had to see this out. "Look, I just wanted to know if they were available-"

A heavy object clatters to the floor.

"Stop. Saying their name. If they won't speak to you then you're as good as dead to them, and I'll make that happen if you don't learn your place. I won't let anyone ruin what we have..."

Your friend reaches for the phone. "Maybe we should hang up-"

"If you hang up this phone I will slit your throat. Your friend can be a witness before I do the same to them. Maybe they'll get a grave. I will hang you out to bleed like the worthless pig you are and leave your body for neighbors to find. You don't deserve to go missing. A cold case is more than you'll ever be worth it you think you can take what's mine. I'll kill you. I'll kill you. I'll fucking kill yo-"

"It was just a joke!" You hang up the phone and chuck it onto the table like a hot coal. It worms back into your hold with the vibration of dozens of texts flooding in, crashing to the carpet as you recoil from the shock. Yours starts to blow up with messages too, screen still opened on their chat from when you punched in their number.

"Was that you?"

"You're doing that voice acting thing, right? You really had me fooled. Haha."

"I was messing around too. Your safety is really important to me so I panicked."

"Are you still coming into night?"

"Y/n?.... Please?"

"Hey, Answer me... I'm sorry."

"I think I cut myself picking up the glass I broke. Can you take me to a hospital? Please.."

You shove your phone in your pocket before your eyes can register the picture loading on screen. "I gotta go"

You're out the door before your friend can get out a single word. Ten minutes later, they receive a request for a window call from an unknown number. They answer it.

All that's on screen is the trail of red an empty bottle of food coloring. Your coworker holds up a peace sign off screen.

"How deep should I make that grave?"

[swissboyhisch]

You Can't Be Serious

Pairing: Matthew Tkachuk x OC

Summary: A night out celebrating brings co-workers closer than what they thought possible. With the help of a little alcohol.

Word Count: 1346

Warnings: Probably crossing work boundaries. Alcohol. Kissing. Blurry consent.

A/N: This is for @offside-the-lines Birthday Bingo!! Happy birthday to one of my favourite Aussie girlies. I know it was a couple weeks ago but Birthday month is the best thing to celebrate!

My choice of four bingo boxes were:

Drunken Confessions

Dancing

Rivals (enemies) to Lovers

Mistaken Identity

Sorry it's so late but work became a little stressful and unpredictable. But I got it in just in time! I really hope you enjoy this as it definitely had me writing tropes I haven't before. Happy birthday Rox <3

Also shoutout to @mp0625 for being my beta. Always can count on you!

THE MASTERLIST JOIN THE TAGLIST HOCKEY DISCORD

Cora sighed happily as she finally stepped foot into her apartment, taking off her shoes and collapsing onto the couch. Even though it was a lost cause as she’d be leaving again to meet the boys at the bar, they had organized to celebrate the team clinching a playoff spot. Some country bar that the boys liked to go have a good time at when celebrating a win.

As one of the off-ice fitness trainers, she spent a lot of time with the players, creating great friendships. Cora was the only woman in the facility's fitness physio and trainers team and the youngest by far. She had done a traineeship last season, and when the head physio left, he suggested that she come onto the team as one of the other men would be taking his position. As the only woman, the boys had taken to her like family, and suddenly, she had 22 brothers. 

Notice the 22 and not 23? Well one of the team decided she was annoying and just looking for attention. Even when she was just doing her job. Matthew Tkachuk, ever since she started her traineeship, had taken a liking to pissing Cora off whenever he could. If she had to spot him while he did weights, he would do the opposite. She was younger than him and telling him what to do? Yeah right. 

But he had been injured for the last 4 weeks so the two had been spending more time than usual working together making the tension peak. Hopefully, with Matthew being back on the ice tonight, he will have simmered back down before he said something to make Cora strangle him. He was holding it against her that he wasn’t allowed to play yet. Like it was solely her fault for not clearing him to play.

Instead of wallowing and thinking about the dumbass that was Ratthew, Cora pulled herself off the couch and into her bathroom where she could shower and get ready. She was thankful that quite a few of the girlfriends, wives and family members were also coming so she wouldn’t be the only woman within the group.

Cora chose to wear a red lacy bodysuit and a black denim skirt with a leather jacket to finish off the look. A bold red lip and simple smokey look with curled hair made her look out of this world. Something the boys weren’t used to as they only ever saw the woman in athletic clothes and team gear. She traded in her worn pair of Nikes for a pair of trusty black heeled boots. She knew by the time she ordered her uber and got to the bar, some of the players and family would already be there so she grabbed her clutch that had her phone, portable charger and ID in it. The uber luckily wasn’t that long for a Friday night. 

“Cora!” Yana Tarasenko yelled as the young woman climbed out of the SUV.

“Yana,” She laughs, being brought into a hug. 

The pair intertwined their arms and made their way through the security with Vlad to where there was already a group gathering in the back corner around multiple booths and tables. Players, partners and family alike were all chatting away happily, nearly all with some kind of drink in their hand. Whether it be alcoholic or not. 

“I’m going to get a drink,” Cora yells over the music to Yana who nodded and waved her off. 

Yana found a seat with some of the other girls in a corner booth tucked behind the boys. Cora found herself at the bar, ordering her usual vodka cranberry along with two tequila shots. If she was to get through this social gathering, to be what she deemed as a normal, she needed a few drinks. Hence the shots. When she wasn’t paying attention, a body slid into the bar right beside her. 

“Your lips look lonely. Would they like to meet mine?” A familiar voice spoke up over the Carrie Underwood song that was blaring. 

Cora turned slowly, not wanting to believe what she had heard. There beside her, and apparently hitting on her, was an already tipsy Matthew Tkachuk. What the actual fuck? Those words did not just come out of his mouth.

“Tkachuk,” Cora muttered uninterested.

“So you’re a fan?”

Cora laughed, “You can’t be serious…” The curly-haired boy looked confused for a moment. Which to Cora was comical. “Matthew, we literally–” 

“Cora!” Barkov shouted when he saw her at the bar. He brought her into a hug, but she didn’t miss the shocked look that crossed Matthew’s face.

“Cora?” He gasped.

Instead of wasting time, she disappeared onto the dance floor with some of her friends dancing and sipping her cocktail. A few of the girls were cheering her on when she shook out her hair that she had put into a clip for the trip to the bar. They were all having fun, enjoying themselves. When the first few notes of Kesha’s song Take It Off played, Cora let out an excited squeal. She had practiced the line dance a heap after seeing it on TikTok. 

“Go Cora!” The girls yell as she races to the middle of the circle with quite a few other bar patrons. 

As the chorus came up, Cora stripped off the jacket she was wearing and waved it around in the air above her head. She thrived on the attention of all the girls and their partners cheering her on. Matthew had stepped up beside them and watched the girl he had come to be so frustrated with. After the song came to an end the group pulled her into the circle, showering her with compliments on the side of her she’s never shown to the team.

“You make not liking you hard when you move your hips like that,” Matthew whispers, coming up behind the dancing girl as the attention turns elsewhere. 

She could faintly smell the beer on his breath but she was probably just as drunk. “Matt…”

Cora leant back against Matthew’s body as his arms came to wrap around her waist. His fingers tickled her skin through the lace bodysuit. Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy started to play as the two swayed together in time with the beat. 

“Wanna get out of here?” Matthew yelled over the music after another hour of drinking and dancing. 

Cora giggled, “Let’s go.”

Without saying goodbye to any of the team or partners, the two slipped out of the bar and into the back of an Uber that Matthew had ordered. The two laughed and whispered on the journey back to his apartment. Cora was helped out of the car by Matthew and led up to the 11th floor of the apartment complex. 

“You frustrate me to no end,” Matthew mumbles against Cora’s lips as he pushes her to the now-closed door. 

Cora frowns at the words, “What? Why?”

“You held me off the ice even when I was all good to play.”

That made Cora step away. Even though the two were definitely tipsy, probably drunk if you look at the true definition, it hurt to hear that. “I can promise you it was for the best.”

“But I was good to play…”

“We knew we’d make the playoffs, why risk you getting injured and missing the playoffs? Why risk our best player?” 

Those words coming out of Cora’s mouth made Matthew’s thoughts flip. He had only thought of himself that Matthew hadn’t considered the team and the future of the season of he had made his injury worse. 

The silence was worrying to Cora. What was running through his head? “Matthew?”

The curly-haired boy pulled her close again and pressed his lips to hers. It was addicting… For both parties. The two stripped off clothes, leaving a trail to his bedroom.

“I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you,” Cora slurs as they fall onto the bed together. 

Matt grins, “I know I’m in love with you.”

TAG LIST:

@findapenny @mp0625 @hischierhaze @11zegras @lvrzegras

@francesfarhadi @cixrosie @dasiysthings @dancerbailey3 @puckmaidens

@cole-mcward48 @sammiejane22 @rleigh-47 @devilsandpensfan @luca-fantilli

@books-hlmc @kajasagmo @poufsouffle21 @there-goes-thefighter @totallynotrobotic

[impel-clown]

I have this HC where Crocodile and Mihawk realize that Buggy's wormed his way into both of their hearts when he actually makes them both laugh and they start looking forward to setting eyes on him all the time. What clinches it is when Shanks stops by and Crocodile and Mihawk both get protective and jealous because of the history Shanks shared with Buggy. Buggy just thinks his two "partners" are plotting to murder him.

Mihawk realized it first, that the clown had gone from an annoying, albeit useful, asset to someone he actually wants to spend time with. Crocodile of course, mocks him for this. Here he had thought the greatest swordsman had some taste, he is with Crocodile after all, but liking the clown? Really?? The guy making dicks out of balloons, that's a person Mihawk wants to be with? What a waste of time. But hey, it's the swordsman's life he can do what he wants with it.

And then it's two weeks later and Crocodile is storming into Mihawk's greenhouse, practically his own sandstorm because now he too has feelings for the clown! Oh sure if it was just sex he wanted, that would be one thing! Crocodile wouldn't even flinch if his feelings were just contained to wanting to fuck the "emperor" til he was begging, crying mess. But no! Here he is, a former warlord, wanting to get Buggy things so he can see the other man wear them, wants to hear the clown's stories and jokes because fuck if it doesn't spark something in him. Here he had thought his own tastes were above this! Being with the greatest swordsman in the world? Great! But add an honest to God Clown to that? No, just no! Meanwhile, Mihawk continues to water his tomatoes throughout the rant, only occasionally interrupting to remind Crocodile that if he harms his orchids, he'll have far bigger problems than a crush on a clown, Mihawk will make sure of it.

And for a while, that's that. They don't immediately make a move on Buggy, not ones to make some big grand gesture of feelings. Instead, they'll ease into. After all, they have time. So slowly, their bullying moves onto teasing (and still some bullying, but it's with care). Mihawk sometimes gifts him with fresh produce from his garden. Crocodile offers to train together. Hell, they even go and watch one of the shows he puts on with his crew! They couldn't be any more obvious about their affections.

(Buggy has no idea his feelings are reciprocated and just assumes these are all attempts on his life.)

And then Shanks comes strolling up to the island and Buggy makes the offhand comment that hey, he may loathe the red haired bastard, but at least he appreciates Buggy's company! It takes about thirty seconds of Crocodile and Mihawk sitting in silence after Buggy leaves to realize, that in fact, no they do not have all the time in the world, and that yes, they could have been more obvious with their affections.

The following few days are spent as Buggy's shadow, glaring daggers at Shanks and reminding him that Buggy is a Key component of the Cross Guild, and he can't just come waltzing in here demanding Buggy's attention, thank you very much.

Shanks, having immediately clocked this whole situation, just laughs.

[strangesthirdeye]

Come With Me ( Crowley x Fem Angel! Reader x Aziraphale)

Summary; Nothing lasts forever, right?

Warning: IT’s Ineffable Hubbys, we love them.. episode 6 spoiler, heavy angst, betrayal, hurt, reader is an angel, it is episode 6 so you know what happened, I don’t know whether to make it platonic or not but it’s up to you.

As usual, I'm sorry if there are any wrong sentences or typos or grammatical mistakes, please forgive me and again English is not my first language, so I try to improve my language and writing in this way.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“ what’s that lovely human expression? Oh, yes! Hold that thought” Aziraphale chuckled lightly.

You and Crowley watched his unusual beaming self with confused engraved both of your

face. Aziraphale grinned widely.

“ You see, i- i have some incredibly good news to give you both.” Aziraphale said, grinning.

Crowley raised his eyebrows. “ Really?”

" what's the good news?" you cocked your head to the side slightly.

Aziraphale grinned cheerfully, impatient to tell the good news to his two partners. His mind repeatedly replayed his conversation with Metatron a moment ago. “ I umm..So, Umm..The Metatron, you know,i don’t think he’s a bad fellow…Well, he said, umm, that Gabriel obviously hadn’t worked out..” Aziraphale laughed before continued. “ as Supreme

Archangel and Commander of the Heavenly Host, and he asked who i thought should take over in Heaven now that Gabriel was gone. And i said..”

You both continued to listen to his ramblings about his conversation between Metatron. The way he told you both that the good news was related to the position in Heaven but the next

thing he said, made your expressions change as soon as he mentioned something that left Crowley in disbelief. Something the both of you need to listen to carefully and twice.

You glanced at Crowley who had wide eyes and mouth agape looking at Aziraphale,

speechless.

“ He said what?” Crowley replied, his face instantly changed.

Sensing the tense situation, you reached for Crowley's right hand hoping to calm him down.

Aziraphale grinned while pointing his thumb at Crowley. “ He said i could apppoint you to be

an angel. You could come back to Heaven and.. And everything, like the old times. Only

even nicer” Aziraphale giggled.

Crowley shuffled his feet, eyes still focusing on Aziraphale. “ Right. And you told him just where he could stick it, then?”

“not at all” Aziraphale replied, simply.

Crowley started fuming in displeasure.” Oh, we’re better than that, you’re better than that, Angel! You don’t need them. I certainly don't need them! Look, they asked me to back to Hell, i said no. I’m just not gonna be joining their team. Neither should you”

Aziraphale looked at him in disbelief. “ But.. Well, obviously you said no to Hell, your’re the bad guys. But Heaven… Well it’s the side of the Truth, of Light. Of God.” Aziraphale replied.

You clinched your jaw after hearing what Aziraphale said. This is over the limit. No, Aziraphale never said that about Crowley being a bad guy. You can only be silent and witness this tense situation. Crowley, as an Angel? What- why does Aziraphale want Crowley to become an Angel again? It's not like you don't like that, but

why now does Aziraphale want to side with Heaven after all you've been through?

Is that what he and Metatron were talking about? Make Crowley an Angel? Thinking about

this makes you uncomfortable. After everything that happened during Armageddon, Heaven

and Hell tried to destroy your lives. What's the point if we don't cooperate with them but we

side with them just because of a position offered? Is what you all do just for nothing?

Crowley, whose feelings were getting worse at the replied, glared at Aziraphale sharply.

“ When Heaven ends life here on Earth, it’ll be just as dead as if Hell ended it.” Crowley said slowly.

You turned your gaze on Crowely. Unconscious hand stroked his hand.

"Why now, Azira?" you looked at Aziraphale again.

Aziraphale turned his gaze at you. Mouth agape when asked. "but, Y/N, Heaven. If Crowley cooperates with us, full angelic and all, we don't have to worry about conflict between the two sides. We can- we can always do good" Aziraphale reasoned. “Meanwhile, Metatron also said that you can be my right-hand man just like Crowley so that the three of us don't need to be apart" he added.

"he offered me to be your right-hand man" you looked at Aziraphale with disbelief.

Azirapale nodded. "Well, if you say yes"

"Tell me you said no" Crowley interrupted. Eyes looking at Aziraphale expectantly.

You glanced at Crowley speechless. You can see how angry Crowley is right now.

Crowley let go of your hand and shuffled his feet to move forward. "Tell me you said no" he asked again.

Aziraphale looked at him shocked. "If I'm in charge.. I can make a difference."

Crowley let out a heavy sigh and turned away from Aziraphale. You looked at Crowley with concern.

“Oh.. Oh, God. Right, i didn’t get a chance to say what i was going to say,i think i’d better say it now, right okay, yes, so…” Crowley's feelings are mixed between anger, betrayal and distressed. Just listen to the tone of his voice, you already know how he feel

Crowley sighed heavily. His mind tried to process the next sentence. You pursed your lips seeing Crowley distressed over things that for him there is still hope to be saved.

Something that the three of you built to stay together.

After a few heavy sighs, Crowley finally had the courage to face Aziraphale. "We've known each other for a long time. We’ve been on this planet for along time i mean you, me and Y/n. I could always rely on you. You could always rely on me and so was Y/n. She can rely on us and so can we. We're a team. A group. Group of the three of us. And we’ve spent our existence pretending that we aren’t. I mean, the last few years, not really” Crowley turned his

gaze away from Aziraphale as well as from you who were by his side. Crowley didn't want you both to see his eyes that were glassy because of the tears that started to appear under his eyelids.

He doesn't want pity from anyone. For somebody's sake, he has never hurt this bad as long as he has existed. You intended to comfort him but seeing that he didn't want anyone to touch him, you had to witness his overload emotions with your eyes also glossy with tears.

“ I mean, if Gabriel and Beelzebub..can do it, go off together, then we can. Just the three of us. We don’t need Heaven, we don’t need Hell, they’re toxic! WE need to get away from them, just be an us. You and me, what do you say?” Crowley looked at him sadly.

Aziraphale shook his head several times with tears beginning to appear in his eyelids. He then moved himself to approach you both. "come with me..to Heaven. I'll run it, you two can be my second in command. The three of us can make it different."

Aziraphale stared at Crowley's eyes longingly before he turned his gaze to you who had been silent by Crowley's side since earlier. “ Y/n? Please tell me that you will come with me. We are both Angels, surely you want to follow me to Heaven and do good things. Please."

Aziraphale takes your hands and holds it gently while his eyes hold a pleading feeling.

You took a few steps back, letting go his hands from your hands as you shook your head a few times in disbelief.

" no..No Azira..I- I can't come you. After all we've been through now do you want to work with them again? This- this is something that- Oh, God, I can't" you started to hyperventilate with overloaded emotions.

Crowley moved towards you and hugged your body gently. He rubbed your shoulders tenderly, trying to calm you down. You put your head on his chest as you cried silently in his arms. Aziraphale looked at you feeling a little guilty and a little jealous when he witnessed the scenes that happened in front of him.

"please.. I didn't mean to upset you like this, I just want you two to come with me. We can be together" Aziraphale took a step forward but then stopped when Crowley took a step back from him with you in his arms.

"Crowley-"

"No..You can't leave this bookstore" Crowley answered with hurt.

Aziraphale huffed a big breath after he heard what Crowley said. He chuckled slightly.

"Oh, Crowley. Nothing lasts forever" and that's it. The last shot.

Crowley clenched his jaw as he looked at Aziraphale who once he called friends and partners. The look of betrayal stuck on his face while you parted away from Crowley's chest with cheeks stained with tears.

You are at a loss for words. Mind repeatedly played what Aziraphale said earlier.

"no. No, i don't suppose it does" Crowley put on his black tinted glasses, hiding his snake eyes from Aziraphale before taking your hand. "Good Luck" and he left Aziraphale standing there with eyes glassy with tears.

"Goodbye, Aziraphale" you whispered but loud enough for Aziraphale to hear it as you walked past him.

[randomfoggytiger]

Revival Mulder Was Diagnosed with the Wrong Depression

In My Struggle I, Sveta reveals Scully diagnosed Mulder with "endogneous depression", which is a type of major depressive disorder (MDD, also known as clinical depression.) However, the clues provided in canon don't quite add up.

According to healthline: "Endogenous depression occurs without the presence of stress or trauma. In other words, it has no apparent outside cause. Instead, it may be primarily caused by genetic and biological factors. This is why endogenous depression might also be referred to as “biologically based” depression." And verywellmind explains: "People with endogenous depression often feel that their symptoms occur “for no reason”—at least in the sense that there is no apparent external cause.... For example, a person with a family history of mental illness may be more likely to develop depression."

From the get-go, those descriptions don't fit Mulder; but they make less sense when compared to exogenous depression.

Again, according to healthline: "Exogenous depression happens after a stressful or traumatic event takes place. This type of depression is more commonly called “reactive” depression." And verywellmind further clarifies: "Exogenous (or reactive) depression is triggered by an outside stressor such as the loss of a loved one, getting divorced, or losing your job. People who experience or witness a traumatic event may develop depression as a direct result of that exposure."

(Although current thought lumps both "types" of depression together by their similarities rather than their differences, the show went out of its way to highlight which depression it picked. It chose... poorly.)

The cherry on top? Scully didn't have the expertise to diagnose her partner with endogenous depression, regardless. healthline: "To be diagnosed with MDD, you must meet certain criteria listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). This manual is often used by mental health professionals to diagnose mental health conditions." And verywellmind: "Your primary care doctor may evaluate you for depression in the office, but they might also want you to see someone who specializes in diagnosing and treating mental illness, such as a psychiatrist." (Even though Scully also "diagnosed" a side character's mental state in Founder's Mutation, the fact that she was unqualified to do so in either circumstance remains.)

Lastly, verywellmind gives us a clinching little tidbit: "Another difference is that people with exogenous depression don't always have the physical symptoms of depression, like having trouble sleeping or change in appetite, which is common in other forms of the condition." (Which would fit Mulder's seeming "normality" during the early Revival episodes. Mulder already had odd habits to begin with, anyway-- it would be easy to tuck away his symptoms from casual observers.)

So, we're told that Fox Mulder-- a man who only canonically displayed depressive symptoms after a traumatic event; and who had, apparently, no recollection whatsoever of a predisposition towards depression before Samantha's abduction-- collapsed inwardly due to... biological or genetic factors? Rather than collapsing because of, I don't know, the countless losses and failures he suffered through the years (which would be in-line with his pre-established trauma response?)

Sigh.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[collegetennisoriginstory]

Dev. update for Pt. 2

Hey all!

Hope you enjoyed the CT:OS update (Pt. 1)!

I'm back home from my trip, which means I've gone back to writing and editing in preparation for Pt. 2!

As Pt. 1 was a little delayed, and I didn't do much writing or editing while on holiday, Pt. 2 release will likely be closer to the end of the month / next month, but I'll firm up the release dates closer to when I've gotten everything written and have sent it out for beta-testing.

Good news though, is that because I'm pushing back the dates a bit, I'm aiming to add some extra content that I hadn't planned to fit into pt. 2... which means you'll all definitely get the Sam kiss you've been waiting for ;)

For now, here are the tentative release dates:

Beta-testers: 28 Oct Early-release: 4 Nov Public release: 11 or 18 Nov

Lastly, I'll push out an edited version of CT:OS to the public demo around the same time that I release Pt. 2 to beta-testers, so if there are errors or bugs from Pt. 1 that you think I haven't quite fixed yet, do let me know.

Main features of Pt. 2 under the cut.

Reunion with Sam (if you'd asked them to come visit Cargill for the weekend & watch your first match of the season) 🎊

Say hi to G, D, and your other hallmates who've come to cheer you on

Kickstart the season proper against Cornell 🎾 (Will Cargill clinch overall victory over Cornell in the first match of the season?)

Bust out your chops with your newly-minted doubles partner, and go one-on-one against your Cargill opponent in a singles match! (achievements up for grabs)

Worlds collide—G, D, your hallmates, and Sam (if they're here) will get the chance to briefly meet your teammates after the match!

[everlovingt]

One thing I find really interesting about Cordelia as a character is the separation of her reputation and her character, and that it gets called out only subtly in the Vorkosigan saga. Spoilers below the jump.

So, for a good chunk of the Vorkosigan saga, Cordelia is referred to by the other characters (Miles especially, but also Kareen and her parents, Duv, etc.) as the utterly composed, utterly competent, razor incisive, and emotionally controlled Captain and Vor lady that everyone else can only aspire to.

And there’s no question that Cordelia is an amazing woman who has done amazing things.

But.

Cordelia is also a person who fell in love with a self-destructive aristocrat on the other side of a war, fled her home and family, built a new family, watched Barrayar try its best to eat the new family, and came out fighting on the other side.

So, Cordelia is amazing, but she’s also crazy. And she knows it! We don’t see much of Cordelia’s thoughts once we’re in Miles’ narrative, but the book that clinches it for me is Mirror Dance. Miles is missing, presumed dead, and then Mark appears, and then Aral goes through heart failure, and Mark is the one that sees how hard Cordelia is working to hold it all together. Because Cordelia wanted to build a family with Aral and a horde of little babies, and instead Barrayar tried to eat her first son, and now she has one chance to build a relationship with her second son (maybe), and all of three of them are doing their utmost to get themselves killed, and she can’t help that her heart is riding on all of them making it. She is just trying to help each of them by being the partner or mother they need.

She is, as she calls herself, a fool for love. And it’s not a happy thing.

And so I think it’s very special (and is more headcanon than text) that Mark is the one who gets a glimpse of Cordelia in Mirror Dance and realizes that she has an inner life with its own thwarted wants and twisting pains. Because it helps him realize that she’s not perfect and untouchable, and if she can keep moving, maybe he can, too. I’m not sure Miles has ever had this view of his mother.

All of that is part of why I really like Gentleman Jole and the Req Queen. It gives Cordelia a chance to find some ease. And the coda to all of the above is the way in which Cordelia lets go of her fears about baby injuries as she raises Aurelia. To paraphrase Illyan, being Miles’ mother must have been a privilege and a terror. It must be so different to have a chance to pursue happiness.

[vampiretendencies]

im starting to scar, im going through phases !

summary; he does everything he can to push you away, leading to his downfall. warning; angst, sadness, there’s no happy ending, mentions of events in seasons 3, chateau still exists, mention of throwing up, proorfread but may find mistakes. pairing; jj maybank x fem!reader. authors note; decided to take another approach because not everything always ends with hugs and kisses. wishing you all the best. hope the ending doesn’t seem rushed, requests are open. creds to gif owner. this is based on phases by chase atlantic, and lyrics of the song will be used. there’s a spotify link below, if you’d like to listen and read. lyrics are in bold italics.

It's been 24 hours

I'm getting impatient

I'm sorry you're scared

The feeling is shared

I'm sorry I'm dangerous

Ever felt that feeling when an impending doom is bound to strike?

Like when you know the earths about to cave in, and all you can do is let its currents drag you under.

The calm before the storm, maybe.

And JJ can feel it creeping in.

The sensation that he knows he won’t make it past a certain life span with his lifestyle, and he’d be damn if he’d drag you down with him.

Hell, he wasn’t sure if he’d make it past twenty five, at this rate. Between reckless trips to South America, and nearly dying in Barbados multiple times.

You were his last remnant of hope in life, and now he can’t even hold onto that anymore.

The filaments of love that intercepted his veins at just the sight of you, he couldn’t bare it.

He couldn’t bare so much love.

Or at least, he refuses to allow himself to.

The instance now is being in bed but miles away. And he’d been doing this for around two weeks now— throwing away the most valuable year of his life for a notion, or just the thought that you’d be better off. That you’d be better off without his baggage, his issues, without him.

He’s facing the wall, his boxer-clad frame away from you. Whilst his knees curl into his stomach, because he can’t see your face and he definitely can’t look you in the eye. He fears the longer that he lets you ponder his heart, and graze him gently that he’ll back out. Due to the fact that he’s been toying at the idea for two weeks. You stomach it, thinking maybe he’s had a bad day— still, you trace your fingers tips on the freshly tanned skin of his back hoping maybe it would comfort him. Or lull him into explaining his shift in attitude.

But he’s been like this long enough now, what if he’s going through a funk, you thought. But in reality it was you praying to yourself about what you kept denying.

He wouldn’t, would he?

He lets you touch him, he lets it linger like a cut to flesh, searing, burning, stinging at the same time. Recognizing the familiar pattern, curving and then going straight down to form the shape of microscopic hearts. He wants to stay in this moment, freeze time, so that the possibility of you despising him forever wasn’t something he’d have to deal with. So, he melts into the comforting touch, reminiscing on the times that it brought him infamous joy and not gracious amounts of sorrow.

He knows he can’t keep you.

He knows that you can’t continue to stick around.

In his own fucked up opinion anyway.

“What’s the matter J?” His insides clinch at the nickname, one only you typically called him. It was reserved for you in fact. And you weren’t a plain idiot, after a little over a year together, knowing when somethings off with your partner tends to become prominent.

But this … this was true anguish.

Mental anguish, if you will.

Grieving and missing you, when you’re a fingertips touch away. The great fall of JJ Maybank and Y/n was to ensue, and he was preparing himself for it. Realizing no amount of preparing could heal the hole that losing you will cause.

“M’okay bab-“ the pet name on the tip of his tongue comes to a hault, as if he were about to insult you by saying it. Something that he says out of habit and instinct that he couldn’t shake. God, he just wanted to call you baby in constant rotation. It was routine, but it couldn’t be any longer.

He has to follow through on every step of this path to breaking up with you, and if icing you out is what he has to do then he will. He solely wanted to sulk in his last few pleasing memories he’ll ever have with you. Beginning to break his ways in this relationship with you piece by piece. Hoping it would make the leaving part all the more ‘easier’.

Whilst you were oblivious, he was dying inside.

“M’okay,” he repeated, and stuck with it.

What the fuck was that? You thought.

Your facial features scrunched up in disgust at the dry response, the boy that was involved and cared what you had to say even about the stupidest things, usually; has a tone of no interest. He couldn’t see you, hence his back being turned away from you, but he felt the reaction through your stopped movements on the subtle skin of his back.

A grave dispense of heartache is upon them.

You say we should talk, it's falling apart

I hate when you say this

I feel like a child

I know it's denial

I'm going through phases

As anyone’s mind would wander in this situation, you felt unwelcome. Unwelcome in JJ’s room at the chateau. Unwelcome near JJ. The entirety of your presence seemed as if it wasn’t needed here.

“Something has to be JJ.”

Has to be.

It rung in his hears, and struck a sutured nerve or two. Because he didn’t want you to know something was wrong, or to even be let in that realm of his thoughts. You also have this agitation towards JJ right now as he’s treating you as if you don’t exist.

When at one point you were the only one in a room full of people.

You pull him back by his shoulder, forcing this fulfillment of eye contact. A weeping tear glazing over his eyes, a sob he’s been holding in the short hour you’d been over. He can’t keep it together but, he’s trying for the life of him. Even if you hadn’t seen the isolation of a salty tear forming, you sense the numbness in his features. Caught so off gaurd, mouth parted and all he can do is stare up at you with no emotion.

The boy you love was eons away.

Meanwhile that boy is compelling himself to not love you anymore.

And no, he didn’t want to see you go. You were his lifeline—on this constant high that he couldn’t come down from. You kept him high in the ways weed didn’t.

Knowing that he’ll be at this record breaking low when you’re gone makes him want to spiral. But, he’s not what’s preeminent for you, he’s not what’s best— anymore antics with the Pogues and he’ll ruin you. He’s baffled it’s even lasted this long.

“Why’s something have to be wrong?”

You’re propped up on your knees to the mattress, his blonde tresses are sprawled out against the pillow just as beguiling as he’s always been. Yet, not the same.

“I don’t know you just haven’t … you haven’t-“

“I haven’t what?” He bites back, sheer irritation. Adding to fuel of the irate frustration that’s being built upon brick my brick. One push and it’s all coming down. Though he needed his last few weeks with you to be pure elation, he can’t help but detach himself already. Protecting you, all whilst protecting his own sauntering feelings.

“You haven’t touched me in weeks JJ … everytime we kiss it feels like you don’t mean it. I can’t be the only one putting in effort here.”

You were right, going from his hands all over you anytime, anyplace so, a love language of utmost physical touch— to absolutely zilch. Not even a hug or a hand hold. Essentially stuck to you like a sticker, that sticker has fallen off, been stepped on, ripped, and trampled in rain.

JJ wanted to slam his head against the wall until it was fucking blue. He had to act like he wasn’t phased, a douchebag or an asshole. Quietly hoping it would make the letting go less intense. Lovelorn, at most.

He’s wrong. So utterly wrong.

What is he doing? — in a larger sense.

“Anything else you wanna’ complain about?”

End it now or hold off longer? JJ battled with himself again.

Get lost in love or escape it? If you love her let her go. You know this won’t be good for her. You’re such a fuck up. And again.

Your eyebrows knit together, you hadn’t known what you were saying could be taken out of context into a complaint. You’d let him be out of tune for long enough, you bit your tongue long enough, it was long enough. A stranger could tell something was desperately wrong.

You just wanted him to fix it.

You just wanted JJ.

“I wasn’t complaining J,” You pleaded almost, a quiver could be sensed in your voice. “I-I feel like you’re disgusted with me … like are you even attracted to me anymore?”

His irritation grows as that could never be a possibility. His undying attraction towards you has multiplied since kindergarten. You were the first one to notice him that school year— his dad gave him a pack of crackers for lunch, not caring about the child’s well being. And you, shared a PB&J with him, it’s been his favorite since that day.

And so have you.

You knew that, often taking advantage of it by getting your way with him, whenever need be.

If only you knew what he’s struggling to get off of his chest now. He can’t even believe there’s a version of his world without you in it.

“Please shutup.”

Is all he can suffice, as it’s minimal and not giving away too much. But it still pings at the strings of your heart all the same. Glaring, he presses a hand to his forehead, thumb and index finger colliding with his temples— to infer that you were giving him a headache on the verge of a migraine.

Tears are now pricking at the crevices of your eyes.

Why is he talking to me like that? You thought.

The hairs on the back of your neck stood tall, your body intensely drenched in the heat of JJ’s lackluster coated tongue.

Passionless so it seems.

You fought the tears wearily, even still they streamed and he held his hands over his eye’s because he can’t stand to see it. He can’t stand to see himself being the cause of those sopping tears— though he would be eventually anyway.

Just not now, he doesn’t know if he can do this. His insides are physically wearing away at the sound. He can’t comfort you as he would, due to it wringing the both of you by the neck when it comes to the end. For him it would reel him back in, and make him stay repeatedly. And you, it’s going to be all the more difficult to let go.

You known each other since before you knew how to spell, how do you let go of that?

“… t-then are you fucking around with someone? You’re cheating on me aren’t you?!”

He was astonished such a sin would leave your mouth. You thought it was in his nature to have such relations with another— he’s let your imagination run widely enough.

And he thinks he’s going to throw up— legitimately puke all over his bed, full on having to push you out of the way.

He’d overcome so much to get you, winning you a little over 365 long days ago.

All for what?

For nothing?

To just have you sit here and think the worst of him?

“If you aren’t going to shut the fuck up, you can go.”

Feel like I'm going insane, I'm going through phases

Pharmacy's rotting my brain, I'm going through phases

Heaven is calling my name, I'm going through phases

Oh, oh, yeah

I'm going through phases

He vowed he’d never do this to you, there for each other whilst having no one. Any of this, really, but being spiteful on top of it is making your hands clammy and your mouth dry, Now, he opens his eyes and removes his hands, sat upward as he gestures toward the door. Jaw clenched with a heaving chest, it was a damn insult to call him a cheater. It was agonizing. He’d never made you leave, even in the smallest of arguments he wants to make up seconds after. Cracking jokes about ‘how hot you looked while mad at him.’

After he’s done with you, you’re going to wish he’d cheated.

It’s menacing and erie, the repulsive silence that surrounds the two of you. He’s just fiddling with the rings amongst his fingers. Abruptly brought out of his trance once you leap off of the bed. Yanking his Bait Shop Tee past your shoulders, you throw it at him. It catches wind with hair, plopping him directly in the face, falling into his lap.

He deserves it.

He stood by not looking whilst you changed like he perpetually tended to do. You could’ve been the sun, the way fuming exhaust radiated off of your body. Slipping your head into your sweatshirt, whilst rummaging through his floor for your shorts— doing so quickly, if you were to look back on it you’d recall every moment of this painstakingly long conversation.

He cups his face into his own hands at the ‘last’ thing you’d say to him. Watching you rush past his door.

“If I wanted to be in a relationship by myself, I would’ve just stayed single.”

Collapsing into your side of the bed beside him, he takes in your remaining scent. So sensual, he wouldn’t get that satisfying scent again. Grasping the open flesh of his chest in misery. He’s torturing himself.

You’d eat those words.

Swim in the dark

The water is changing

Floating away, the fear in my brain

The feeling is fading

Kie frantically called you in urgency, days later. There was a plan to unfold, one that would be the cause of you resenting the Pogues for years to come. They were closer with JJ, you didn’t have as much freewill as the four of them did, or so much as you didn’t have the guts to leave your parents wondering where you are for days on end. You didn’t fit, the outcast of the group. The Pogues accepted you as you were but there was a tendency, that they too would agree, to gravitate towards JJ.

Even when the two of you were pining and it was all 'no Pogue on Pogue macking," blah blah blah, they never intervened.

You were JJ’s girl.

They knew it before you did.

Alike, with how they knew the outcome of the blood curdling screams to follow.

The elongated porch of the Chateau is fully occupied like how it normally would be, but there is no JJ.

Unbeknownst to you, he's on the other side of the front door. The same front door that's attached to the porch, and tended to be used for eavesdropping. JJ’s back is against it, clothing hanging off of his feeble frame. He didn't have an appetite, didn't have the motivation to shower, or even comb a hand through his hair.

What use to have meaning, is now meaningless without you.

This is what JJ intended, to have the Pogues did his dirty work. And after seeing JJ's current condition they obliged without much convincing. He didn't mind his friends getting caught in the crossfire, because as long as they were involved you'd detest them too. Meaning, there'd be no trace of you here.

He didn't have the fucking guts to break it to you himself; always caving and falling back under your spell.

Having the Pogues do it is more reasonable for the both of you, or at least he thought. You loathing all of them wouldn't make you come around and that was a sacrifice JJ had to make, for he feared if he saw you again, he'd become a ghost. Already a shell of the person he use to be.

Utter captivation and enrapture would be no more. He'd abhor himself if he let you witness another bloddy nose, another 'help me I'm in trouble text message', another close loss of life.

He beckoned he was much too treacherous and threatening to your purely refined soul.

There's life before you, during you, and now he has to attempt an after.

Here goes nothing.

You say it's not me

I hate when you say this

I'm falling apart

I'm starting to scar

I'm going through phases, yeah

Sheer exhaustion nearly causes you to miss a step, hand gliding with the screen door of the Chateau. You hadn't slept a wink, yearning for a sign that JJ still was still lathered in infatuation along with you, but there hadn't been. Two and two were coming together, and you weren't heedless no, just in open denial. In fact, you were willing to forgive the events of days ago to relive any sentiment with your boyfriend.

But that wasn't going to happen.

Not in this eternity, but he hopes to see you in the next.

With each inch you take towards the couches atop the porch that Kie, John B, and Pope were sat on, the atmosphere was muggy and rancid of thick air, fitting. The floral printed couch was where JJ hesitantly kissed you for the first time, slow and everlasting. Maybe if you touched your lips one more time, you'd be able to feel the linger of it again.

Kie is pacing with a box in her hands now upon seeing you closer in vison and throats are clearing as you stop in your tracks to end your approach on them. The box is lidded and closed, so the contents were unknown. Her lips curve into a sympathetic smile.

Fuck, you knew the end.

They were told to make it short and sweet, and at the sound of Kie's voice conversing with yours JJ perks up like a little dog that’s awaiting a treat. Except this was no treat.

Far from it.

"What's the emergency you called about?" You question, noting nothing of an emergency. Pope and John B are peering down at the cracked wooden boards below, allowing Kie to soften the blow. "And where's JJ-"

"He told me to give this to you Y/n."

You take the cardboard box that's planted into your hands, lifting its taped down lid your heart might as well have fell to your feet. Grabbing onto something, legs about to give out from beneath you. JJ's palm is flat against the bordered door, skin anticipating to be one with yours again.

Inside the box were shattered pieces of you and JJ combined. Your relationship shriveled into something so little, so insignificant. His film from the specific camera he purchased for photos of you and him aside from his other one. Claiming he wanted to savor every second he spent with you, but now as he can't digest the hard-to-swallow pill. He thinks you would be better off with them. A pink bear, that was dressed in overalls, JJ named it 'pinky', from another various date that the two of you went on to Build a Bear. Neither of you had been as children, healing apart of the untouched inner child in one another. There was the t-shirt you'd given him last year for his birthday, that read I heart my girlfriend, with an image of you in the middle of the heart. You could've went on and on about how each individual item in that box made you feel, but its not the items.

Its why are they in this Goddamn box?

"He doesn't want to be with you anymore."

Kies plummeting, echoing, and spit-firing words are the last thing you hear before the box clashes with the creaking floor of the porch. And you just knew JJ wasn't going to be one to miss out on this 'show' that he created.

Hiding behind a door and sending you off to venture a life without him, was a fucking slap to the face. A punch even, maybe even a headlock.

Who does he think he is to leave you so empty?

To leave you to peace together this mess of used-love?

You're pushing past them in absolute mortifying embarrassment. The infuriation towards them hasn't kicked in yet, but you were sure it would when you'd be left alone and inside you room pondering how you lost everything in a moments glance.

To have the Pogues break up with you for him, was a new rock bottom even for JJ.

Your fist collides with the broad door frequently, ear clasping against it to be met with nothing. JJ's face is buried in his knees whilst he sobbed with aching coughs in between, unable to catch his breath. Matching your cries that are too spilling out. So vulnerable on his own and for his person, or the one that was his person.

The end of all either of you have known.

"You're a fucking coward JJ!"

It seeps off of your tongue and causes a collision like dynamite, the daggers of the Pogues eyes are digging into your back. You continue to drag forward on the door, fist likely drawing blood from how hard its hitting.

"I wish I never even met you, d'you know much better off I'd be?!"

And you wouldn't be, neither of you would be the same. Sharing a love story others dream about when they sleep, and sharing an ultimate ending that most would dread. He whimpers as this is this the exact reaction, he'd been positive about, despite which way he approached it.

'Please don't forget how much I love you baby.'

He speaks to himself, as if you were here. Etching a baby in for the hell of it, the final hoorah.

You've resulted to kicking door, animosity, exasperation, and displeasure roped into one. John B is pulling you away, as he doesn't want the door to come off its hinges. Even still you shove John B away from you, running from the life you once knew.

"Can't believe I let myself love someone like you!"

Someone like you.

What's the point of love if it's not real?

Hanging onto me and in your feels

I can't even tell if it's the same to me

I'm falling apart, I know it's denial

I'm going through phases

[tailschannel]

In case you missed it: Sonic Frontiers has clinched the Partner Award at the PlayStation Partner Awards Show 2023.

The open zone game won the award alongside others like Elden Ring and Armored Core VI. The Partner Award was given to Japanese or Asian-made games that had high sales globally or high player counts.

Director Morio Kishimoto was present at the event to receive the award for the game.

With the encouragement of this award, we will continue to strive to deliver attractive Sonic games.

(story contributed by MC for the Tails' Channel newsfeed.)

[saucyjothoughts]

Would love a follow-up question to the JO interviews... Jure, how many partners was involved to make you clinch most partners at once?

Here's how I see it going down.

(nsfw under the cut)

Jure accidentally went dogging once. He'd found a nice solo-camping spot and had decided to go for a walk in the area before bed and happened to stumble across a popular doggers' meet-up.

He didn't know what it was at first - just a lot of cars with their headlights on, some with their windows rolled down and rocking noisily - and by the time he realised, he'd already been noticed and it was too late to back away. But everyone was very friendly and a lovely middle-aged woman explained the code of conduct to him, and he figured 'why not stay and play?'

He watched some couples, he touched whoever allowed it, he helped some other men jerk off while they watched together. And as the newest face amongst the group (a young, attractive, single face at that) he instantly became very popular. Everyone wanted a go.

And over the course of fucking several people's wives, sucking off a number of the husbands, and having someone squirt directly over his face, he came twice and earned the best night's sleep he's ever had on a camping trip before or since.

Due to his lack of proof of the event (and tendency hyperbolise when it comes to such stories) the guys only awarded him fifty slutboy points for the act. But it was still enough for his yearly total to beat Jan's (who thought he had won for getting out of paying rent to his fit landlord by finally sleeping with him), earning him the title of SlutBoy of the Year for the second year running.

[misshoneyimhome]

THE PICS OF WILLY WITH THE KIDS WHY CAN I SEE HIS SMILE EVEN WITH A MASK ON IM DEAD!!

How can you look at those pics and want to trade Princess Diana reincarnated…I want him biblically, if I was his partner and saw those I’d be ready on my knees for him when he got home ready to have some baby making practice🥲

Darling, I can practically hear my own ovaries clapping 🥺❤️ I mean, yes! 😍 in a way, I'm actually conflicted by him - I mean, he still seems rather boyish, and you know that insanely charming lover-boy smirk that makes your downstairs lose all control - yet, there's just something about him that screams baby-daddy 😅🫠

Small warning of language (I think...)

➼｡ﾟ

A small bump I William Nylander

"Hey y/n!" Axton called out as he shouted down the halls of the Scotiabank Arena.

"Hurry up, we don't want to be late," Jace added.

"Yeah, coming!" you exclaimed cheerfully, following the enthusiastic young boys closely.

"There you are," Aryne said as you, Jace, and Axton caught up to the group of wives and girlfriends of the Toronto Maple Leafs.

"Sorry, took a bit longer. Turns out I'm rubbish at mini hockey and had to do five push-ups as a punishment," you chuckled, explaining the outcome of the game you’d played with the boys before the hockey match tonight.

"Maybe you just need more practice," Axton sweetly suggested as he settled into his seat. "That's what Daddy always says."

The sweet little boy beamed at you.

"Well, he's probably right about that," you replied with a smile to the youngest of the two, before all of you focused on the ice where the players were about to warm up.

However, the match didn’t start off too well.

The Bruins took the lead halfway through the first period, and then scored a second goal just 8 minutes into the second.

But the Leafs fought back strongly. Matthews scored the team's first goal, and just two minutes into the third period, Domi levelled the score 2-2.

Time passed, and despite the Leafs’ impressive comeback, the Bruins struck back and took the lead once again 10 minutes later.

However, just when everyone believed the Leafs were finished, Matthews pulled off the unexpected and scored, levelling the score once more, just 8 seconds before the final buzzer.

Despite the Leafs' incredible comeback, the Bruins came back even stronger. After nearly five hard-fought minutes, they clinched the game in overtime, ending it 4-3.

The corridors were filled with light chatter as everyone awaited the players' emergence from the locker room. That was, until Jace, Ashton, and some of the other kids started playing mini hockey and suddenly shouted out loud.

"Mooom!" Jace's voice echoed through the halls.

"Oh, shit," Aryne murmured. "I wonder what they've done now…" She sighed deeply, glancing at you with the newest addition to their family in her arms.

"Do you want me to go and check on them?" you offered a sweet smile, well aware of the boys' tendencies that might lead to a disagreement.

"Oh, no, one of them started crying... But maybe you could hold her while I go and check?" Aryne suggested with a concerned expression, and you eagerly nodded in response.

The newest Tavares member was absolutely adorable, and you couldn't help but smile as you cradled the baby snugly in your arms, ensuring she was secure in her comfortable blanket and protective headphones to shield her from the noise.

And just as you hugged and gently swayed to keep the baby calm, William emerged from the locker room, his eyes widening slightly at the sight of you.

_

You and William had been together for a couple of years now. And initially, your relationship was actually just all fun; a rebound from your previous relationship to be exact.

However, there was something about William that kept drawing you back to him. And he simply cherished having someone he could always rely on and spend time with.

At first, it was all casual, no-strings-attached sex - meeting up after a game or when he returned from a road trip. But then it evolved; you started spending the night, then several days, and eventually ended up staying at his place even when he was away.

And this routine continued for several months until William's teammates encouraged him to bring you to a match. So, he did, leading to his teammates then noticing the chemistry between you. And soon after, he had to acknowledge that there might just indeed be something deeper between you two.

Since then, your relationship had been absolutely fantastic. You had so much fun together, trusting each other and feeling completely at ease in one another's company.

To put it mildly, William had fallen harder than he ever anticipated, and now he couldn't imagine letting you go.

However, despite the wonderful connection you shared, there were serious topics that didn’t come easily. Moving in together was one of them. It wasn't until after you’d met his parents and they’d pointed out how strange it was for you to pay rent when you practically lived at William's place.

And another one was the future.

William just didn’t speak much about it. At times, you even wondered if it was because he didn't envision a future with you or if he simply didn't think that far ahead. And as it turned out, it was more the latter.

William enjoyed living in the moment, which for now, meant focusing on his career and having you by his side.

So, you brushed aside any concerns about the future and focused on the present.

However, when William saw you holding little baby Tavares, something did stir within him. The sight of you with a baby, wearing a wide smile on your beautiful face, sparked an unfamiliar feeling. As he slowly walked towards you, a smile appeared on his lips, and he couldn’t help but imagine how it might be if one day that baby was yours and his.

"Hey," you smiled at him as he approached. "Ready to leave?"

William nodded.

"I just need to wait for Aryne to come back and take her," you said, meeting William's gaze for a moment. "What?" you chuckled lightly, noticing a different expression on his usually smug face.

"Nothing," he simply smiled and shrugged before Aryne came over to take the little one back into her arms.

"Thank you, y/n... You're a natural," she smiled at you before you bid your farewells and left the arena.

However, the image of you with the baby lingered in William's mind for the rest of the evening. It was a new vision he hadn't considered before, but there was something about it that felt just right.

You, however, didn't dwell much on it. You had a great relationship with the Tavares family, enjoyed spending time with the boys you occasionally babysat, but that was the extent of it. You didn't think it was something William would dwell on, so why should you?

_

On the following day, the topic of children continued as the Maple Leafs players were invited to meet with the SickKids of Toronto.

It was a tradition for the team, and after not being able to do it since 2019 due to the pandemic, they were all eagerly looking forward to it.

For the players, it meant a lot to give back to the community - whether through financial donations or simply being present as role models, it brought them immense joy nonetheless.

And that day was filled with nothing but happiness – as much as possible, of course. As William walked into the room to greet the children, wearing his jersey, and seeing their faces light up with excitement, it meant the world to him. Being part of an event that spread so much joy to children who faced constant struggles meant everything.

The atmosphere buzzed with laughter as the players interacted with the children, sitting down to create homemade friendship bracelets. Some of the kids crafted bracelets spelling out names like "Felix" for Auston, and they all took selfies together, sharing their stories. These heartfelt moments simply struck a chord with everyone.

Throughout the day, the media team made sure to capture these touching moments. And when the day ended and the players bid goodbye to the young ones, they were all deeply moved, though they didn't show it openly because of their tough-guy image.

But once they were all back home, things were different.

"Hey, baby, how was your day?" you asked as your boyfriend entered the condo.

He wore a soft but slightly sorrowful expression as he joined you in the kitchen where you were by the stove. William moved gently, wrapping his arms around you, and resting his head on your shoulder before placing a tender kiss on the crook of your neck.

"Emotional," he simply replied. Feeling his body leaning into yours, signalling his need for softness and intimacy tonight, you turned your head slightly and met him in a gentle kiss.

"Well, I made one of your favourite meals," you spoke softly, prompting him to glance over your shoulder at the dish you were preparing. Swedish meatballs and mashed potatoes with gravy and lingonberry. "Thought it might be an emotional day for you guys, so..." you offered a sweet smile.

"Have I ever told you that you're an amazing girlfriend?" William remarked, nudging you gently as he kept his arms around you while you finished preparing the meal.

"Um, no, in fact, you should tell me more often," you chuckled.

Then with laughter and smiles, you both set the dinner table and prepared to enjoy the delicious meal together.

But during the meal, you couldn't ignore William's subdued silence.

"Hey, what's on your mind?" you softly asked as you both neared the end of the meal. "Talk to me, Willy…"

"Just thinking… about those kids," William spoke almost in a whisper. "They don't deserve this... But they have no choice. They deal with these struggles every day. I mean, what if it was our kid?"

His question caught you off guard. What if it was our kid?

Our kid...

It echoed in your mind before William interrupted your thoughts.

"Are you okay?" he chuckled slightly, noticing your stunned expression.

"Huh… oh yeah, sure," you offered him a sweet smile. "I just..." You hesitated, unsure whether you should explore the topic further. But William was already on to you.

"Talk to me, y/n/n," he gently urged, repeating your own words.

"I just wasn't sure if you'd thought about... that."

"About what... kids?" William chuckled lightly, and you nodded, looking down at your plate, softly fiddling with the last meatball. "Well, maybe I haven't thought about it much... But after seeing you with Johnny's children yesterday and I’ve been spending time with those kids today, it did make me think things," William added with a chuckle. "Also, I come from a big family – and I know my mom would love to have grandchildren one day, so... I don’t think it's too crazy to consider."

His voice was tender, prompting you to look up and search his eyes, hanging onto every word.

"Me neither," you softly spoke, flashing him another sweet smile. "So, maybe it's in the cards?"

And William couldn’t contain his excitement either. "One day, maybe… yes," he simply replied, before both of you finished your dinners, smiles lighting up your faces.

For the rest of the evening, everything between you was soft and tender.

Thoughts about finally opening up that conversation about the future, went thought your minds, and as you both went to bed together, you fell asleep with smiles on your faces, envisioning a family together in the future.

_

The following morning, the images of a future family with William still lingered in the back of your mind. Despite trying to push them aside while getting ready for work, it wasn't easy to ignore.

What made it even more challenging was when the Toronto Maple Leafs' media team posted photos from yesterday's meeting with the SickKids.

Sitting at your desk, you scrolled through the photos and watched the short video of the guys interacting with the children. And it touched your heart deeply. Seeing the lads engaging with the kids, their smiles evident even behind face masks, hit harder than expected.

Especially the pictures of your boyfriend.

The way he connected with them, showing so much love and care, made your heart skip a beat. You could almost feel a flutter in your lower stomach.

"Shit," you softly mumbled to yourself, trying to calm your beating vagina, as you kept looking through the pictures.

It was in that very moment, you became surer than ever that one day, you wanted nothing more than for William to be the father of your children.

Imagining little versions of him running around, with his blond hair and blue eyes mixed with your own genes, causing as much mischief and noise as he’d done with his siblings.

Holidays and vacations spent together as a family, with extended family joining in to celebrate festivities; that was your biggest wish for the future.

So naturally, throughout the workday, your mind lingered on thoughts of your incredible relationship with the love of your life, especially now that you'd shared your thoughts about the future. It simply all felt so perfect.

And later in the evening, as William returned home from an afternoon training session, you had subtly decorated the condo to set a romantic mood. He immediately noticed the candlelit ambiance throughout the living room but was more captivated by something else: you.

Clad in your finest lingerie, wearing a seductive smirk, you stood in the doorway, your gaze fixed on him.

William couldn't help but chuckle lightly as he approached you, his hands gently finding your waist as he drew you close.

"So, is this what I get for mentioning kids?" he smirked, his touch gentle yet firm against your body.

Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling his face down just slightly. "Perhaps," you chuckled. "Well, at least the practicing part – you know, before we're ready," you winked playfully.

"Hmm, well, it's good to practice really hard," William replied before connecting his lips with yours, allowing a soft exchange before lifting you up and carrying you to the bedroom for your own private 'bedsheet training session.'