#pat.rambles

[luvzuzu]

rewatched weightlifting fairy kim bokjoo (2016), i got surprised when kim yuna was mentioned!! 🥹

i was like 15 yrs old when the drama came out, absolutely don't know anything about sports and have no clue that figure skating even existed lmao. now, i'm screaming my lungs out

[quirklessidiot]

I can't believe the first long post i have in a while is this and not a new fanfic huhu im so sorry ive been ignoring yall

(Tw: mentions of trauma and mental health as I explain some plot differences)

first off, to the two anons, thank you for reaching out! it did worry me for quite a bit that two seperate people had told me about it. It made me even want to delete the whole work after tbh since well it feels off and i don't really like the idea of having my stuff copied since i worked hard on that (despite it being bad yes thats why i was confused in the first place why someone would ecen want to palgarize it since its not even a super duper original idea)

Thankfully,,, the similar thing only would be y/n running away with her twins qnd the boy loving the girl too much either ways,,, the whole vibe was different so I didn't think it was plagarized at all.

For instance, In the other writer's story, Y/N actually gets and wants to tell him off the bat but because of sakusa's lousy parents, she cant do it, I'd say her mc's stronger i guess, if sakusa didnt had lousy ass parents?? I mean she was willing to fess up when i read it in the beginning.To surmise, Her MC's mentally healthier and seems to be a good mom off the bat?? Idk thats the vibe i got from the story like if kiyoomis parents werent like those parents from those kdramas, they'd be doing aigt since she was literally ready to tell him.

Meanwhile, coward's 'y/n' never wanted to tell him, right off the bat, she didnt hesitate. She never planned to tell him or anyone who he was ever. Even daiki had to solve that on his own. She was willing to bring it to her grave because she knows she'd rather die alone than risk ending up like her parents. She is portrayed from the very beginning as someone who never got over her childhood trauma. In shorter terms, she isn't as mentally or emotionally strong as the other author's MC.

Thats one really huge difference I saw.

Anyways i could go on and tell the difference between the two. The ground work of coward has been done way too many times to count tbh, this had happened even before when someone had told me me and a fellow tumblr friend had a similar idea (but once again it was debunked). Even I admit that coward isnt a n original idea. like i said before i was inspired by that one kdrama 'what is love' hshaha and i just wanted to quench my thirst for writing.

either ways sentences, characterizations, etc aren't as similar as they seem to be yay 🥺❤ thank you all for the messages and i apologize for the worries, i hope each and everyone stays safe and hydrated this quarantine ❤🥺

[ipatrichor]

genshin gender-related headcanons because they entered my brain and i'm being haunted until i write them down:

- transfem barbara

- bennet is transmasc and kaeya gave him his first binder (up to you where kaeya got it from)

- rosaria is gnc in the way of people use varied pronouns and forms of address and she literally does not care. you cannot gender her in a way that matters

- fischl plays into traditional concepts of femininity to enhance her prinzessin role but when it comes to her actual gender she's indifferent

- if razor knew what gender is he wouldn't care

- albedo is doing a complicated scientific study on gender and hasn't decided if he wants to use any labels for himself yet

- lisa also transfem but like. nonbinary flavor. what's the fuckin word uh demigirl i think. something like that one

- il dottore is cishet. have you SEEN how this man is dressed in the manga, fatui = clowns Real, he needs to be arrested not for the murders and unethical human experimentation but for his crimes against my fucking eyes

- if klee knew what gender was she would try to turn it into an explosive (and knowing her, succeed)

- the kamisato siblings are Both trans. they like to joke that they swapped genders

- diona is transfem bc i care her. she's adorable & i wish her luck in her destructive endeavours

- personally i greatly enjoy transfem eula but genderfluid or otherwise nonbinary eula is also excellent

- amber. u already know what i'm going to say. she's transfem and i love her. she has so many little sister vibes i want to put her in a headlock and noogie her

- diluc knows what gender is and doesn't care

[luvzuzu]

i'm back, prologue summoned me and whispered to me to go back to tumblr so i could spend my time crying screaming shaking convulsing to every yuzuru related post

[ipatrichor]

thinking abt the contrast between c!phil and c!foolish since they’re both confirmed to be (if not immortal) Really Fucking Old

thinking abt how time made philza jaded, apathetic. it’s not that he doesn’t care, it’s just that he thinks big picture, always, even to the detriment of the people around him

thinking abt how where time made phil apathetic, it made foolish kind. he’s seen destruction, he’s caused it, and he just doesn’t care to anymore. he builds mansions for kids even when it drives him crazy and they underpay him, he attends a banquet thrown by people who destroyed his statue with genuine hope of reconciliation, he doesn’t forget but he forgives and laughs with his former enemies

just... thinking abt the way time changed these two in opposite ways. phil is unable to really understand/empathize with a short-term human perspective- it’s been so long since he thought that way, and he just doesn’t remember how. foolish was never human in the first place, and presumably over time he’s learned to understand mortals and why they think and act how they do

idk that’s it there’s no conclusion to the thought, i’ve just been thinking about their duality- a demigod learning to be human, and a former mortal who’s forgotten how. like their characters are just so fucking interesting kdbg

[ipatrichor]

i want... to write a time travel fix-it au...

[ipatrichor]

Get away (from me) -- for the ask game send me a fic title

fuck that's a good one okay

i think for this one i'd write something angsty for either phil & revivebur or phil & ghostbur!

like maybe some kind of confrontation where we acknowledge that hey, maybe killing your suicidal son is kinda fucked up! i just think revivebur should be allowed to get upset abt it gdi, what he needed was help and it's okay for him to be hurt that phil barely protested before killing him

and i don't mean to bash phil dw! i just want to acknowledge and explore the disconnect between them especially with how wilbur grew up- he has a very human perspective, and phil has a very... distant immortal one. i genuinely believe he did his best when raising wilbur, but that doesn't mean he knew how to be the dad wilbur needed & still needs. i mean, he presumably spent most of his time either alone or w techno, and when your only like... bonds are with people who understand you care without you saying it, i think there's a lot of disconnect when it comes to a relationship with someone like wilbur, who needs to Hear It

idk if this is just a projection moment, but wilbur shows a lot of signs of someone who grew up... unloved isn't the right term because obviously phil loved him, but i don't think he knew that. not communicated to that he was loved i think is more accurate. it happens with all kinds of love languages, because people express love in different ways and sometimes they're so used to their own that they don't realize the love isn't coming across and the other person struggles to believe that the first person (in this case the parent) cares about them because it's rarely or never expressed in a way they understand. it makes sense that this is especially devastating to children, bc they don't have the tools or maturity an adult might have to go 'this is how they express love, it's not the way i do but i know it's love all the same'

this just turned into a meta on their relationship and i'd love to go more into detail abt it another time if anyone wants to hear bc it's rlly interesting, but basically their relationship was strained by miscommunication on a fundamental level from the very start, and i want them to fight and argue and finally acknowledge that it's messy and complicated and they're going to have to kinda start over if they want to build an actual healthy relationship because right now i just really don't see it in canon :'' if anything between them is going to get better then i think phil has to acknowledge that he wasn't very good at being a Human Father for a Human Child who needed a Human Father and considering he doesn't really take constructive criticism i just can't really see it happening any other way

also that one art with the line 'i needed my father, not an executioner!' is fucking banger and mmm many thoughts

[ipatrichor]

if i was a cc i’d make a comment just every once in a while about how cool i think args are, and how i think it would be fun to do one someday. then eventually i’d start tweeting/posting really strange cryptic stuff in various places (including like. in the comment sections of my old videos etc) and pretend i have no idea what ppl are talking about (while getting visibly nervous/out of character) when they bring it up. i’d let people go wild theorizing abt an arg and then after drawing it out for weeks to months i’d laugh and reveal i’d been fucking with them the whole time. they’d never trust a word i said ever again. psychological warfare