#challengers angst

[angelplummie]

TAKING WHAT’S NOT YOURS!

ART X TASHI X PATRICK X F!READER

part 1 part 2

this one is exposition and build up for the smut eventually! enjoy my princesses

tashi duncan stole from you.

in many ways, many times. the first was when she thrashed you in your very first college tennis tournament. you would always remember the sound she made, that war cry. it was like she had decapitated you or something. she stole victory from you that day.

then she did it again, and again, and again. every single time she played you, she beat you. you could annihilate everyone but her, crushed them all to dust. but she was the one person that would not be decimated. you didn’t speak off the court, didn’t look at each other twice in the halls of stanford. but she had this look on her face. this smug, knowing look. here to lose again? it said. and you weren’t some average joe shmoe tennis girl. you were really good. people that had no reason to bolster your ego had told you that, so you knew it to be true. you were fucking brilliant, and she had no right to look at you like you were dirt. you gave her a tough match, but still she looked at you like she knew she was going to win.

when asked about her, all you could say was “i hate that smug bitch.”

what she said about you you didn’t know, and not for lack of trying. you didn’t know if she even spoke of you at all. the thought made you angrier than when she beat you. once, when at the same party, she waved at you.“hi,” she said, and gave you that same i-just-beat-you look. she was taller than you, and craned her neck unnecessarily far to look at you. where did that stupid bitch get off?

she was this towering roadblock, the one thing stopping you from entering the upper echelons of tennis royalty. you had the fucking talent, you had put in the fucking time, you were so fucking good. but you weren’t stanfords sweetheart. you just weren’t. everyone knew you were good, but you weren’t the best.

from the matches you had watched, which was nearly all of them, you were the only person she played that gave her a run for her money. she didn’t sweat the way she did when she played you, the points were never so neck and neck. she should be threatened by you, and yet she looked at you like any other silly college floozy that was the best in her high school. tennis was your life, as much as it was hers. she stole your dignity in that way.

the next time she stole from you was patrick zweig. a sort of boyfriend, an in-between, getting there boyfriend. he could’ve been yours. you could’ve been happy together. but tashi duncan couldn’t have that.

you heard whispers about a night in a hotel room, a threesome, a twosome with a watcher, two guys jacking off on tashi duncan. they could deny, deny, deny, but whatever did or didn’t happen meant patrick zweig never returned your calls anymore. you could still recount the exact tonality and pacing of his answering machine message.

it was fine. it’s whatever. he wasn’t a forever boyfriend anyway.

but once a girl has sex with someone, she expects some degree of loyalty, some sort of goodbye. it wasn’t about him, he was cute, a good-not-great fuck, and never claimed to be serious about you. he didn’t matter. it was the fact she had him. together or not, she had him. he belonged to her. even after they broke up, everyone knew he never liked any of his other many girlfriends like he loved her. they used to walk around hand in hand, kiss, and it made you brim with jealousy. not because you gave any kind of fuck about him as a person, but because she got him instead of you. it was her. all her. she had stolen one more thing.

as time passed, your hatred burned just as bright. you practiced day in day out, hoping that somehow she could see you now, somehow she would know you were her equal.

then you met a boy. art donaldson.

you had known he was involved with her. the hotel threesome stories spared no details of the parties involved, despite factual discrepancies in other areas. but you figured, while she was dating his best friend, you were safe from the curse of tashi duncan. you allowed yourself to fall in love, softly, timidly. having met in american literature, you fostered a little spark. a love, barely the size of a candles flame, flickered in your chest. maybe, you had prayed. maybe him. maybe he was yours. you kissed at new years for the first time, and days later he met your parents. it was new, fresh, but it was love. you loved him.

and then she stole from you for the final time. in one foul swoop, she took everything from you.

it was the final of the college tournament. the two stanford angels playing each other for the victory. the court was red and packed, newly redone. you both wore white. whoever won this was guaranteed a shot at the open in the summer, and that was all you needed. you were so fucking ready. no one was better than you. no one. you had trained so hard, art could attest to it, hell, the entire school could attest to it. ask anyone who saw you around that time, they would’ve seen a scowl on your face and a racket on your back. those who had the pleasure of watching you play would’ve say it: you were fucking good.

that’s why it crushed you. across from her, at match point, advantage duncan, you watched as her knee moved independent from her leg. in between grunting and pelting, there was a crack, and tashi duncan was no more. a hush fell over the crowd as she cried, fell to the ground clutching her knee. you heard that. but you didn’t hear the ear splitting scream that came from your own mouth, couldn’t feel your body sprint, jump the net to crouch by her side. beads of perspiration rolled down her face, scrunched in agony. she bared her teeth like a cornered animal, and looked up at you through her squeezed eyes. her knee looked awful, so you stared at the rest of her. without thought you placed a hand on the top of her head. to comfort her you think.

it was so quiet. the only sound was her crying, her laboured breath stilling your heart to a lifeless thud.

“it’s ok,” you said,”you’re going to be ok, tashi.”

you remembered feeling an inexplicable sadness, a grief that you had never known before. you wanted to get rid of her pain, any and all of it. none of it came from you, you didn’t want her to have it. but that was so quickly forgotten. because as you moved to touch her shoulder with your shaking hand, it was eclipsed by another. a larger hand, the hand of a man. a pale hand. a hand you had touched before, even kissed. the hand of your man.

your eyes met, each with equal fear, horror and sadness. it was then that you knew that the curse of tashi duncan wouldn’t rest until you died. she would steal and steal and steal, even beyond the grave. he looked caught, because he was. he was caught. once you loved tashi you never stopped. he had raced into the court because she had fallen at a game he attended to watch you play, had touched her shoulder with the hand that had held you. he was not yours, as much as you needed him to be. his eyes twinkled with regret, but told you everything you needed to know.

your hand drew away with a flick, like it had given you an electric shock. you rose from tashis tortured body. his hand slipped to where yours had rested. this was all somehow not her fault, while being her fault entirely. you hated her so much it made your heart bleed. you didn’t want anything to do with her anymore. no whisper of her name, no nothing. from this moment on she was dead to you.

you didn’t bother looking over your shoulder to see if art was watching you leave. he wasn’t. the umpire boomed something through a mega phone, something like wait. but you were going home.

in the hall you bumped shoulders with patrick zweig. he was rushing to find her. he looked at you once to apologise hurriedly, twice to utter your name in recognition, and a third time to look at your back and wonder why you were so down. tashi was out. you won by default.

[melancholymetropolis]

“Please don’t walk away— Y/N! Please!”

“No, Art! I said no!” My voice bounced off of every wall in the small dressing room and slammed right into Art. His face, once reddened with anger, quickly drained itself of the color and became a stark white. His eyes were wide and his mouth agape. He searched my face with quick glances before dropping his gaze down to my clenched fists. My entire being was shaking and I could feel the tips of my ears grow hot with a rage I hadn’t felt since I was a teenager. A rage that appeared the last time we shared a space together. A rage that drew us apart for the last decade. 

Art Donaldson was a lot of things to everyone. An inspiration. An icon. A loving father. Doting husband to my former childhood best friend. The man that almost ruined my life. 

We were an unstoppable group; Patrick, Art, Tashi and I. Inseparable. It was hard seeing any individual member alone, since we spent every single moment attached at the hip. At least, when Patrick was back from his tour. 

Since the two lovebirds were often “reuniting” when Patrick came back to town. Art and I organically began hanging out together. I’d help him study for his math exams and he’d basically shove me out of my room to eat. He was someone I could call to kill a spider in my shower. I was someone that could fix whatever problem he had with his computer. He was someone I could depend on. . . when Tashi wasn’t in the picture. 

“I will not have this conversation,” I choked as tears burned the corners of my eyes. “Not now, not ever.”

“Listen, I know I fucked up,” he pleaded, taking small steps toward me. “I shouldn’t have acted like that. But I was a kid—.”

“Art, get the fuck out of my face with that bullshit!” I sneered. “You were nineteen years old! Not some sniffling toddler who just learned to walk. You knew what you were do— wait.” I forced myself to stop in mid sentence. “I just said I wouldn’t have this conversation with you. So why the fuck are we still having it?”

“Because I am worried about you!” He argued back. “You disappeared without a fucking trace—” 

“You don’t get to worry about me when you’re the reason why fucking I left!” The words poured out of my mouth before I had a chance to stop them. 

“Y/N. . . ”

“You got what you wanted,” I replied, staring directly into his eyes. “Dozens of trophies, a mansion bigger than your parent’s and Tashi fucking Duncan as your spouse. You should be over the goddamn moon right now. But, instead,  you are berating me about my choice to leave a toxic situation almost a decade ago.” I released a long sigh and shook my head. “What do you want from me, Donaldson?”

“You,” he said in a low voice. “I just want. . . you.”

-------------------

I'm baaaaaack!!! With an drabble no one asked for!!!!!!!!!! But I do have a something cooking up that a follower did request.

Stay tuned for that.

Also, how do we feel about angst drabbles? Yay or Nay?

[tinytennisskirt]

Never

Summary: Art breaking up with you over something you never had a say in to begin with. His future. Reminiscing over exactly what it is he’s leaving behind and the bittersweet of it all.

Warnings: angst, mentions of sex, mentions of drinking and smoking, not edited from my notes app

Your stomach flipped at the sight of the text from Art.

You free? We need to talk.

It was this odd sinking feeling, your feet suddenly the heaviest things to lift, your stomach instantly in a knot, twisting, making you sick. It’s not like you didn’t know it was coming. His distance drastically increased the past three days, plans you made had fizzled out to nothing by the means of odd-seeming and strategically-placed obstacles in his path. And you were fine, you’d thought.

And it wasn’t a lie. It was good. And happy. And healthy- both you and Art were communicative and understanding and allowed each other space and peace of mind when needed. Nothing was better than your time together, not felt better than his arms around you after a long day, nothing could come close to the way it felt when he would plant a simple kiss on the centre of your forehead.

And you felt things slowly unravel, like pulling on one string and having the whole sweater come undone. But it was quick. And it was unexpected. And he wanted to talk, asked you to meet him in his dorm room when you were done with your lecture and you just had that intuitive, gut feeling that this was it. You hoped to god you weren’t right. You were 89% sure but there was a 20% that was a pale ghost of optimism that laid overtop all of your doubt, co-existing within the one hundred.

If someone had asked you five days ago what the chances of him leaving felt like to you, you would have said it was a 4% chance he would go. Why would you have any reason to doubt him? He was your best friend and the man you were absolutely head over heels for. And him, he would hold you close all night if you let him, he would go out at four in the morning if you said you craved iced tea then and there, if you cried he would wipe your tears away and not let you go until you wanted and that would sometimes mean hours, and if you were sick he was there with soup and hands to hold back your hair.

But you felt the 89% in his sudden change of character as you knocked on his door and he opened it without pulling you into a hug or a kiss or anything of the sort. The same sort of hello just minus everything you knew and the cold of it was uncomfortable as you walked in and sat on his bed, pulling your feet up. He sat in the computer chair across from you, not on the bed with you, and you slowly felt the nausea creep up on you. Worse. His greeting was so empty of who he was. It was like even his room had lost colour.

“I wanted to talk to you about…”

“Us,” you finished. He met your eyes and then looked to the ground, nodding slowly. You knew it. You were confident enough to finish his sentence.

Art rested his elbow on his knee and allowed his chin to rest on his palm, fidgeting with his own lower lip. He paused for a moment, “I-um…” he started. Your stomach ached and you found yourself fidgeting with the ring on your finger. “I don’t know what I’m thinking, I’m struggling a bit.” He confessed, nervous smile on his face which you knew he had no control over.

“That’s okay,” you answered, smiling just a bit in response, though it was forced. Too forced, it almost hurt to make your muscles move this way when they resisted so hard. “Take your time.” You said. Gentle.

His hand rubbed over his mouth and then his eye, rubbing his left eye and coming to rest his hand along the side of his face, air blowing out through slightly parted lips. “I’ve been thinking about tennis.” He said.

You stayed quiet, listening patiently though the impulse to be impatient was such a threatening force. You hated the way you could feel the heartache already manifesting in your fingertips. What an odd place to feel it, you thought. Maybe it was the ghost of your optimism, trying to guide your heart to your fingertips so maybe you could reach out and keep him. What an odd thought.

“I think I’m leaving in the spring.” He said. You knew that he would be going on tour, pro, when the spring came. It was something you talked about often, his head in your lap and your hand in his hair. “And I was really wondering for some time what it would look like. Place to place and I-uh- I was talking to Patrick and he told me how tour is and I got to thinking…” he trailed off, meeting your eyes for just a moment. You pressed your lips together, trying to just sit still and listen quietly.

You nodded just slightly for him to continue, okaying the fact that you had listened so far. “Ive been losing sleep over it, how demanding it is and weighing that with how badly I want it and- I guess I don’t know how to do it all… with you.” He said. You saw it coming, you saw it coming as you walked over, you saw it coming from his text. “Badly phrased, I know, I’m sorry. I’m not good at this, I’ve never… done this.” He said, fidgeting more with his hands, trying to crack knuckles he’d already cracked as you just sat there absorbing it.

It was always obvious that Art loved tennis in a way that most people wouldn’t get. He wasn’t overly passionate about it, it didn’t consume his every thought, he wasn’t obsessed but it was a dream of his to go pro. Play big games with big names and it was a wonderful future he saw for himself but right now, feeling selfish, you wondered why he couldn’t see that future with you at the sidelines. You’d been to almost every one of his games at Stanford, you had been around for practices, you even tried to play a few times and you were awful but that didn’t matter, right? You loved what he loved because he loved it, even if you weren’t good at it. And you loved him for his aspirations and drive for success in something he loved and that was an amazing thing to observe. It’s not often you find a man who is so sure of what he wants, avoiding playing games with your heart, never hurting you intentionally and if he did, it was an accident and fixed, truly fixed. It never dawned on you that his idea of security didn’t involve you. Not the way your idea of security involved him.

No matter the variable of the future your idea of it was always with him. And the boys you’d known before him, you had avoided thinking about the future at all costs. You didn’t want kids with them, you didn’t want anything with them and you sometimes wondered why it didn’t come naturally and then Art came along and you found yourself thinking fondly over name ideas. And you were young- it was a bit far off from the time when you could truly have that future but you knew you wanted it. And you knew you wanted him and no one else to fill that role. He would be perfect, you thought, playing tennis with some little boy, some little version of yourselves and it was stupid, yes! Stupid because it was so far away but it wasn’t stupid to want. And you wanted a career and success, but not more than you wanted him.

Now when you looked at him where he sat you felt everything you’d ever seen for your future, every vision of your future home whether it be an apartment or a big White House, every vision of him coming home to you, every vision of him coming home to future children, it was fading. And your optimism with it. Why would he stay?

He just waited for your reply, his mouth twisted a bit to the side. “Why not?” You asked. Why couldn’t he do it all with you?

He looked at his hands, “It’s going to be a lot.” He said. “And it’s going to be hard for both of us and I just don’t think we’d survive it.” So he was giving up.

“Survive it?”

“Make it through.” He stated, fidgeting away. It was some peace of mind to know he struggled to say it. You felt the hot flush of impending tears wash over your body. “I think… the best course of action for us is if we go separate ways.” You bit your lip as the hot tears began to spring up in your eyes. You hardened your stare as to know show them, which you knew didn’t work but you still tried. “And I’m sorry.” He added.

“You think it’s best?” You asked. “For you or for me?” You immediately backpedaled, a single tear falling down your face but no real crying being allowed. “I’m sorry, that sounded really rude, I didn’t mean it that way.”

He chuckled, rubbing his eyes again, “No, I know. I get it. But I think for us, or I like thinking for us. I just… I know myself and I know that when things get tough and we would be apart so often… I would distance myself.” He nodded, continued, “I would hate for you to torment yourself over it because I know you’d worry. And I think it would be better to not have to deal with the heartache of it all then.”

“So you’ll deal it out now?” You asked. And you understood. He wanted to leave before it got messy, got hard to comprehend and live with. You didn’t see that coming in the slightest but when a man gets their mind set on something of the sort it’s hard to remove the notion from their stubborn mind. “Art, I don’t want that.” You told him. “I don’t want that future for us either. Distance wouldn’t matter to me, I could deal with the time apart.”

He buried his face in his hands, “I know and I’m sorry.” He said, muffled, rubbing his jaw as he lifted his head up. “I don’t want it either but I’m not ready to hurt you and I know the idea of it is going to keep me up at night just the fact that it feels like it’s going to happen at some point…” He sighed deeply. More of your tears streamed down your cheeks but you wiped them away and fought the urge to sniffle. “I don’t want to hurt you down the line.”

“So don’t,” you said, trying reason on the stubborn mind. “Don’t hurt me and don’t leave. Unless it truly doesn’t work.” You said. You wouldn’t beg, but you could try and get him to see reason. Your heart beat slow in your chest but with heavy, violent thuds. You wouldn’t never understand his mind, his true thought process. Just a week ago he was kissing your stomach on his way down, telling you that you were beautiful, just a week ago, you’d gone with his mom to lunch, just a week ago, you fell asleep in his arms and woke up still held just as tightly. And his reason was that he was afraid of something that was entirely up to him. But you’d take it. There wasn’t much else he could say.

“It’s the balance of things. I don’t know how I’d be able to keep up with us and tennis at the same time. And I hate that I don’t think I can do it, I’m so sorry.” Words of someone with their mind made up.

He didn’t even try yet. He was giving up before he even tried. Or even tried to try. And that was what you were worth, apparently. But you loved him, so of course you’d be happy to step aside if you were in the way of his dream.

“What did I do wrong?” You asked. “To not be worth that try?”

“No, no, you did everything right,” he said, leaning forward just a bit and you swore he almost reached for your hand. “It’s not that I’m not trying, I’m just trying to prevent more pain.” He said. “This is fucking killing me, I don’t want it but I don’t want you to hate me if I get too busy and ruin everything.”

“Art, it’s as simple as not hurting me.” You stated. “I want you and you… wanted me and I thought that was something.”

“No, it is something I just… don’t want to remember it as anything else. I don’t want this to ruin us.”

“You’re going to do exactly that. What am I supposed to say to that? Where’s the closure in that? You’re saying you want me but won’t keep me, that’s insane.” You tried again to reason and he put his head in his hands, rubbing his eyes again. “I thought I was worth more than tha-“

“You are. You’re worth so much and I hate that I’m doing this, but I don’t know how to go forward while maintaining us in the way that I know you want.” He tried to reason back, but it just didn’t work. It didn’t feel okay… or right. How could it? He promised forever, he was only saying it, he didn’t mean it. Every act that had led up to this point, the pre-relationship pining, the anticipation of a first kiss, first handhold, first time… Every act that had led up to him leaving what was it really worth if not some lead up to a perfect future. Or even an imperfect one, you would have loved an imperfect future with him. Another year, even. Or a good few months of him at least trying to keep your relationship intact, but he sat here saying he wouldn’t even try because he knew how it would end.

You hated knowing that if this was your situation, you would have found a way to make it work. You’d be trying harder than he was to keep him because you adored him and what other answer was there? When you want someone, you want someone and you would do all you could to keep them even if in the end it ended up being absolutely fucking pointless. You’d rather the fight than the abrupt ending on what was supposed to be ‘good terms’. He wanted to preserve the perfect people you were before the fight made you cold and mean but who was to say the fight wouldn’t have been worth it? It could even work out nicely, ending in peace. The peace you currently had… the peace you were losing.

You couldn’t stop him, that was evident. You knew what he wanted and it was his own peace of mind that he wouldn’t become a bad person, but you secretly hoped that this was a decision he would regret. And you did cry, just not loudly, you let yourself cry and he himself didn’t look so okay but there was good in that. It meant this was hard to do, it meant that you weren’t easy to leave. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I feel awful but I’d rather this over tearing us apart.” He said.

“It’s okay.” You said. And it was, it wasn’t a lie. His intentions were good and that was the worst part. He didn’t want to hurt you. He just had to give something up in order to achieve his goals and it happened to be you. As unfortunate as that was, you loved him enough to see his reason and still stay understanding even though it brought an end to the thing you wanted more than anything.

You pressed your lips together, then let another breath slip through them as they parted again, looking up at the ceiling. Than the wall. Then the window. The door. This would most likely be the last time you were in his dorm room and you found yourself trying already to convince yourself to let things go but it was just reflex. You were trying to protect yourself from the impending pain that would hit hard once that door shut behind you again. You were already trying to self-soothe, self-comfort as you felt the cracks spread throughout your body, getting ready to completely shatter.

You remembered the first time you were in his room. His walls were mostly bare, but now they were covered in posters you’d bought him. Pictures. Pictures of you, even. The pain in your fingertips flared through your body as you imagined him having to take them down. And what would he do with them? Where would they go? The same with the posters, though they were much less personal, would they remind him of you?

How much pain would he feel when you left? You wondered if it would be anywhere near the level of yours. It all depended on things you didn’t and couldn’t know- how long had he been wanting to do this? Had he been thinking about it for weeks trying to find the right time or was it cut and dry, a quick impulse? How long did he know he had to leave and what did he allow as he had the thought of leaving you in the back of his mind. Last week you’d fucked twice and it was slow and it was perfect and now you wondered if he knew that was the last time. The pain in your fingertips began to become a crushing force on your ribs, clenching your heart and you sobbed once into your hands.

You sat in the silence that was once so comfortable and he was right there and he wasn’t immediately a comfort. He wasn’t immediately your safety from your emotion, he couldn’t be anymore. You weren’t so lucky

It was the very bed you sat on then that had been the setting for most of your easy evenings. Talking, kissing, touching, asleep. And you wouldn’t be able to escape it going back to your own dorm. Your dorm room bed carried the same type of memories. And it was all pain, it wasn’t much else other than bittersweet. You wanted him, he wanted you but he wouldn’t do much to keep you other than end things. Here, now, after all of this.

He first kissed you outside of the tennis change rooms and around the side of the building where you waited for him after a successful game. His hair was still wet from the shower and sure he still had gum in his mouth but it was everything, the way you’d never kissed before but somehow fit so perfectly together. No clash of teeth, no bumping heads. A perfect, clean, movie kiss. And you thought about that now as you were looking at his lips. You didn’t think that there would ever come a time when you had to try and remember when you last kissed. The reality of the last kiss was something you were glad was lovely, you remembered exactly when he last kissed you and it was a long one. Last night you’d questioned it just slightly for its length and its passion but you guessed that he knew today would be the day. You wiped your eyes. Who would have thought you’d ever have a last kiss? Not you. And you were sure if this was a few weeks ago, he wouldn’t have thought it up either. So you told him it was okay.

It didn’t feel much like it was but it would have to be. It wouldn’t feel okay for a long time but at its base, it was okay. Because you loved him and only wanted him to be happy and leaving you was what would give him the peace of mind to go and be successful. Tennis was everything to him the way he was everything to you. And just as he was worth everything and anything, so was tennis to him. That wasn’t to say he chose tennis over you- that’s not what he was doing and you knew that, even if it felt that way- but it was him prioritizing your peace. You could appreciate the sentiment even as the cracks it was leaving were beginning to open and ache.

“I just… I can’t believe this.” You said, smiling just the smallest bit. “I really thought this was it.” You sighed, crying quietly, trying not to. Begging yourself not to. …Things you said that you didn’t think through. You’d have time to regret it later but it just made Art look away from you. He couldn’t handle it. And you could see he had tears in his eyes, he couldn’t hide that. As much as you hated seeing him upset, it was good to know that this upset him and he wasn’t doing this emotionlessly. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you- don’t be sorry.” He said, sniffing, looking at you through his eyelashes, still fidgeting with his lower lip. “I promise it’s nothing you did. I promise you, you were perfect. You were everything.” The past tense killed you and you found it evoked a large breath from you. A sharp intake of air. You were perfect, everything, but not perfect or everything enough to stay and try. “Don’t be sorry, please.” He said.

But you couldn’t help it. Maybe there was some version of you that had done more that got to keep him. If you’d had been born into his world, money and tennis, maybe he wouldn’t have to sacrifice. “I’ll try.”

“You shouldn’t have to-“ he stopped himself just to wipe his eyes. “Fuck, I’m so sorry.” You hated seeing him cry. All you wanted was to reach forward and pull him in. All of the crying he’d witnessed from you, all of the emotions he’d been patient and kind with and now he was in tears and you couldn’t hold him the way he held you. It felt cruel and mean to not, but you knew it was wrong to, now that he’d stated what he wanted and it was no longer you. The ache in your chest felt magnetic to the feeling of comforting his matching aches and ills. It was all you wanted to do, wipe away his tears with your own. All you wanted was to make up as if this was some sort of weird fight and have him promise you the same thing he promised you a week ago. That he wasn’t going anywhere and that he wanted you. It could be so simple only if he tried. And none of this was fair- you didn’t get a say. You didn’t get to decide what happened with his future and you never did, but you should have had a say in the future of your relationship. You should have been allowed to fight to stay, even if everything burned down to the ground in the process. “I’m so sorry. I really am. Fuck.” He shook his head, still trying to hide how upset he was but it filled the room, both your feelings and his. Usually the words ‘I’m sorry’ were given a paved path by an ‘I love you’ and the silence beforehand was so empty. Too empty.

“This is it?”

“I know… I know it’s fast, I should have more to say but all I know is that you were perfect. And amazing, and I’m glad we got the time we did.”

Before he ended it. Right. You wanted to be upset, you really did. You wanted to talk the sense back into him, remind him of every time he said he loved you, remind him what it felt like to be loved by you. Remind him that what he is leaving behind are hot summer nights kissing in his car, the comfort of knowing someone inside and out completely and entirely. To remind him of your hands in his hair and his head in your lap and telling him secrets you’d never told anyone. Remind him what it felt like to be with you in every way. How he was your best friend, the one person in the world you could truly say knew everything about you just the same as you knew the most about him. All of him, every side of him. You wanted to kiss him and make him remember all of it.

Christmas, meeting his grandma, the sweetest and most gentle woman you’ve ever met. Art holding your hand under the table at Christmas dinner and sitting with your legs overtop his. Sleeping in his childhood bedroom in his arms. New years with him and Patrick and too much drinking and the taste of a cigar when he kissed you as the clock struck twelve, how that kiss didn’t end until you were breathing heavily, sweaty on your dorm room floor. You couldn’t even make it to the bed and you just laughed. As well as the night that you fell off your bed and you and Art laughed for way too long over something so simple because it was just you both. Best friends and in love and there was nothing greater in the world.

Birthdays when his gifts were beyond thoughtful. Diving into things you wanted as a child, finding them, giving you them. And he hardly ever let you thank him, batting your gratitude away like it was nothing to do all of that for you. And you did the same, hunting down the signed racket of a resigned tennis player he loved as a kid. That tennis racket was on his wall above his bed.

When he would kiss you when you talked too much (he would still wait until you were finished talking) and sometimes not when the only thing you were saying was judgemental of yourself. He loved to shut you up and tell you the exact opposite of any flaw you swore you had. He’d hold your face when he said it but it was mostly kissing. And you did the same when he needed it.

There was also the day he said he loved you for the first time and it was just an accident. He hung up the five hour long phone call with ‘goodnight, I love you’ and you say processing it for a minute before leaving your dorm room in your pajamas, running across campus and saying that you loved him too and he kissed you at the doorway as you stumbled into his room. And after that you talked for five more hours. You’d do that often, too- talk for hours. As friends it was all you would do and it didn’t end when you were together, you loved to talk to him about nothing and everything.

And the fucked up thing about wanting him to remember it all was that he probably already had. And decided that in all of it, it just wasn’t something he wanted more of for himself.

So you would have to go without. Everything. You wouldn’t see his grandma again, you wouldn’t visit his childhood home, touching photos of him as a wide-eyed, big-eared little boy with tennis dreams. You wouldn’t spend another night in his childhood bed let alone any bed with him, in his arms. You had to say goodbye to the version of you who knew comfort in his reassurance of everything he loved about you no matter how much you hated them. He’d never kiss your eyelids again. No more holidays, no more birthdays. No more hearing those three words. It was a blow big enough to knock the wind out of you, but you’d feel it later. For now you had to pretend you weren’t feeling your heart physically ache, the heartstrings pull and your heart as a whole clench.

He weighed the scales and he would rather go without.

You looked at the boy you loved and knowing this, you couldn’t help but cry, really cry. And when you truly broke, so did he. You could hear him cry quietly as you tried so hard to stop. No more crying, you urged yourself. These were your last moments here and you were crying. It was over, everything was over and this emptiness would be what you carried with you on your way back to your dorm. Then you’d carry it day to day while he went pro in the spring. You wondered how empty this would feel for him. But you would never truly know.

There were so many ‘never’s at your feet. And they pulled tears from your eyes and they streamed down your cheeks and you were desperately trying to stop them. He cried into his hands. “I was lucky,” you managed to say. “I’m proud…” you spoke through tears, “of you. For doing this. For us.” You hated how it sounded. It sounded fake, it sounded weird. He just cried and you stood up from his bed. There wasn’t much else to say, though you’d think about it all night. Things like this would happen- you had no more words for him that weren’t desperate pleads for him to remember why he stayed so that he wouldn’t leave. But you respected him too much. You wanted him to have the best shot at his future. No distractions, no you. You just stood next to his bed, tears falling consistently but without sound. “If you ever… want to come back. Don’t hesitate.” You said and you watched him tense up more under the weight of his own tears falling. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too,” he said, voice breaking. You sobbed, turning to look at anything other than him, your perfect, lovely, sweet Art who you wanted more than anything. He looked at you and he stood up and you weren’t ready to say goodbye but you felt no other way to exist here anymore. You didn’t want to sob you didn’t want to have this be the end, you could say more, but you couldn’t think of anything that would change his mind and sure, you’d say it anyways but respect… you had to respect his decision, the decision he made without you, for you. There would never be true closure here. Ever. He would miss you, you knew that, how could he not? But life would go on. “You’re going?”

“I think so,” you replied. “But I’m not going anywhere, I-“ you couldn’t even finish what you were saying but he had to know it. All of everything came to this. “I couldn’t.”

He looked at you with those beautiful sad eyes and you couldn’t do much about them. You could have asked for a kiss goodbye but it would have been inappropriate. You couldn’t even bring yourself to ask for a hug or anything, not even a touch just to feel his skin with intention one last time. Not even his hand… you fought yourself.

He had more to say and you knew it but maybe it was best with things unsaid. They might hurt to hear. And you knew you wouldn’t need more pain.

Despite your better judgement, despite everything you were scared of- despite not even being sure if he wanted it, you put your hand on the side of his face. He leaned into it like he always did and that was the true breaking point. The cracks in you split themselves open and you felt like you were suffocating. It was the last time your hand would hold him in any way. “Goodbye, Art.” You said it first, though it was really him who made the first move. You felt his tear as it rolled from his eyes and onto the side of your hand just before you pulled it away, puppy dog eyes holding so much pain.

“I’m sorry.” He said again. “Goodbye, Y/N.”

[bountycancelled]

house of cards (a challengers au)

requested: no, but send challengers reqs I BEG !

warnings: none :)

content: tension I guess? readers kind of a go with the flow typa gyal, but the flow is sometimes manipulative and evil so... tashi and art both play (different games but they still play) patrick is a loser, but he's my loser so it's okay lowercase intended, unedited.

a/n: back after like a half year hiatus, and im on my challengers bullshit, hope you enjoy this cuz I wrote in a day lol

¤

¤

"you know, sometimes it feels like you hate me." the words leave your lips before you can stop them, coming out of your mouth with the kind of instantaneous honesty you learnt during your many years around tashi. admiring her, envying her, loving her, and hating her all the same.

she raises an amused brow, the sides of her mouth quirking up in a half smile. she probably thinks it's funny, your train of thought. you're in her dorm right now, laying on her bed with your head rested against her shoulder while some episode of some show serves as background noise. and yet, you seem unsure that she even wants you here.

but the one thing you can count on tashi to know, is what she wants. so if she's sure that she doesn't hate you, you should be too. "I don't hate you. I love you, more than usual, honestly."

that shouldn't make your stomach flip in the way it does, but you've always been a little like a hungry dog waiting to be thrown a bone when it came to affection, from anyone really (a problem that you thought you were working on effectively, you weren't.) but mostly tashi, who's affection was about as rare as the sight of her not playing tennis. well, maybe that comparison was in poor taste after the injury, but anyway.

"why is that?" you hope you don't come off as eager as you are to hear what you've done to further place yourself in her good graces (you do, but don't worry, tashi thinks it's cute.)

"you're the only one who still plays tennis with me. real tennis." she nudges you off of her shoulder as she speaks, forcing you to look at her, leaving you to tackle that feeling that always seemed to arise whenever she was close. a feeling that would rather die that put a name to.

god, you were such a tryhard when it came to her. you let her tell you about her escapade with the notorious 'fire and ice' duo, art and patrick. you assured that it was totally okay to pit two friends against each other for the prospect of getting her, you nodded along when patrick came out victorious, and you comforted her when she eventually broke it off.

and the cherry on top of this absolutely miserable sundae of yours, you played exactly the same way you used to play with her, because you knew it was what she wanted, and anything she wanted, you'd give it to her.

and she knew that, of course. one of the reasons she kept you around.

she brought her face close to yours, so close, closer, closer... before turning your own face to plant a kiss on your cheek, deciding to pay attention to the show you two had put on her laptop, completely shattering what you thought had been a moment between you and her. not the first time she's done that, not the last time you'll think that.

you inhale and exhale deeply, willing yourself to not spend the whole night picking that last ten seconds of that interaction apart, trying to analyse if you were running on pure delusion, or if something had been there, between you two.

but you do anyway, and you don't come to a solid conclusion. when it comes to tashi, you never do.

¤

¤

your run in with patrick is unexpected, but what is expected is just how fucking miserable he looks. you debate just leaving the diner all together, finding another place to eat. hell, not eating at all would be better than whatever conversation you could possibly have with the ex boyfriend of your best friend. the poor thing is still wearing that grey 'I told ya' shirt, and it's evident that he isn't taking any of this well.

you understand both of them, patrick blames himself (it's not his fault, at least not to you) and tashi needed someone to blame. there's a small part of you thats just glad you weren't the one that she chose, but it's small, and the bigger parts of you just want to pull patrick into a hug, but you're unsure of how appropriate that would be. unsure of if he would even want that from you. because you're not actually on his side, you'd never be on the side opposing tashi, and patrick knows that.

that doesn't stop his eyes from lighting up in hopeful recognition as he spots you awkwardly lingering by the entrance, and now you have to go and sit with him because you are not about to kick a dog while it's down. you flag down a waiter and order for yourself, turning to face him with a pensively worried expression.

"are you... okay?"

patrick laughs at your words, not because he thinks it's funny that you ask. (even in the event that you're just pretending to care, he's just thankful that you humoured him by sitting down) he laughs because he knows that you know that he's not. even if the two of you were strangers, you'd sense his misery from the second you entered and took one look at him.

"never better. foods here." he changes the topic swiftly, and you're starving, so you don't try to redirect it, stuffing your face almost as unapologetically as he is. but once the food finishes and you await the bill, you take another long look at him, and the sadness in his eyes make your heart ache.

you don't owe anything to patrick, but for whatever reason, you find yourself reaching for his hand, holding it in your own and giving it a comforting squeeze, smiling back at him sympathetically when he flashes you a grateful half smile.

maybe it's the unique circumstances of the breakup, or his sad brown eyes, or that one time you two played a "friendly" game right before him and tashi got together (the looks he gave you from across the court would be misplaced, but tennis was intrinsically sexy, and so was patrick, so you tried not to overthink it. tried.)

or maybe it's the emalgumation of every look that would make you squint curiously at him, every casual touch that would last too long because patricks patrick, every tipsy kiss on the cheek, or shoulder squeeze, but after you two leave the diner (he pays, and you feel bad about it, but don't comment further.) but when you face each other outside the establishment, the sunset painting the sky, you pull him into a hug.

the hug feels... far too intimate for two friends (were you still friends? you weren't sure.) but, whatever. he's hurt, grieving the loss of someone that would surely break you if you lost them and the loss of his own best friend, so you're not gonna judge. he wraps his arms around you slowly, hiding his face away in the crook of your neck, holding you so gently that a passerby would think that you're the one being comforted.

you tell him to call you if he ever feels lonely, immediately regretting your language because it sounds like you wanna fuck him, but he understands what you meant. and then, you say your goodbyes.

you don't tell tashi about that interaction. and you don't think you will.

¤

¤

your run in with art isn't intentional, but he's grateful for it.

he knows that you and tashi usually run drills together at the courts on saturdays, its not crowded since everyone is in their dorms trying to piece themselves together after a shitty week. but he also knows that tashi needs to rest right now, so you'd most likely be alone. but he doesn't strike then, the racket in your hand will make you too focused, he knows that all too well. you'd be giving him one word answers, barely paying him any mind and probably wanting him to fuck off as soon as possible.

so while he's wracking his brain, thinking of another opportunity to find a way in with you, because being closer to you meant being even closer to tashi, he's seconds away from getting on his knees and praising the gods above when he sees in the cafeteria, alone.

him being there for her when the injury happened was simply happenstance, and he was lucky in a roundabout sort of way, getting to comfort tashi and hopefully building a good image of himself in your mind, because you were there too, of course.

but that wouldn't cut it. he needed to be truly in with you, and he needed a new best friend anyway, he'd basically sold his last one off, so this was a two birds, one stone kind of situation.

you don't look up when art sits in front of you. because one, you know its him, he has the nervous kind of energy whenever he's around you, different to the kind of nervous energy he has when tashis around, but you can still sniff him out regardless. and two, you're still feeling shitty about that whole... thing with patrick, too shitty to care that blondies over here in front of you, trying to get in with tashi.

"they stale or something?" he asks, his smile stupidly warm and inviting as he points towards the cheese fries on your plate, completely untouched. you shoot air through your nose, smiling despite yourself before giving him a response. "no, I'm just grappling with the fact that I'm a shitty friend, and maybe even a shitty person in general."

he hums, holding his hand towards your tray as a silent question, and you push it towards him nonchalantly, letting him take what he wants. he feels way too good about a simple tray, but something about you sharing your food gives him hope that you haven't completely ruled him out.

"well, think about it this way. the average person needs to have at least one of these traits in order to be liked. talent, kindness or looks. you're a fucking beast on that court, and you're gorgeous, so you don't even need to worry about being a good person." it's easy to butter you up a bit, because the words he's saying are true, and he had a feeling that telling you what he honestly felt was the route to go with.

you roll your eyes at his words, but the compliment makes you bite back a smile. you're only human, after all, and not even you are invincible to the charms of one art donaldson.

but you keep your cool, waiting for the inevitable of him bringing up tashi, with the obligatory acting like that wasn't why he sat with you in the first place. but it comes later in the conversation than you thought it would, he's asks if she's doing any better, and you answer with an honest 'no.'

maybe this is just another one of his tactics, pretending that he's fully interested in getting to know you with no tashi shaped ulterior motive. but it works. because you end up talking over your now empty tray for a while, so long that you're late to your next class.

the look that he gives you when you leave is one of longing, but it was a specific kind longing, one linked to tashi. that's what art tells himself too, as he watches you walk away.

[amymbona]

Wife!Tashi absolutely hating you, her own wife, the woman on who's finger she put a beautiful silver ring years ago. She hates you. She hates you so much because you're so young and youthful and healthy, because you have four perfectly working limbs and because you have a successful tennis career.

She hates seeing the smile on your face, hates it when you look like an angel, dancing on the court and delicately destroying all your opponents, and then jump into her arms with a smile on your face. She pats your back and kisses you a thousand times, but when you lay next to her on the bed and she's wide awake, staring at your back that's gently rising up and down, she dreams about killing you. She has to physically hold her own arms and prevent herself from holding a pillow over your face and smothering you in your sleep.

For all that Tashi loved about you when she has married you, she absolutely despises you. And you, her successful, wonderful, tennis dominating wife don't have a single clue of what is going on inside her head. You don't know that your own wife dreams of murdering you purely because you're really fucking good at playing tennis.

[fruitjoos]

my mistake, my apologies

art donaldson x tashi duncan x patrick zweig x reader

summary: you and patrick were fooling around behind their backs but tashi is sick of you acting like daddy’s perfect little princess. so she snaps, revealing your dirty little secret

warnings cheating, suggestive

Your stomach twisted, the pain sharp and relentless, a dull ache spreading through your gut like something inside was tearing you apart. The air felt heavy, too thick to breathe, as if the room was closing in on you.

Your heart thudded wildly, each beat louder than the last, threatening to burst out of your chest and leave you exposed, bleeding for everyone to see. Tashi's voice cut through the haze, her breath ragged with fury, her chest rising and falling like she was holding back the urge to scream.

"Tell him," she hissed, each word dripping with venom. "Tell him how you've been fucking Patrick after class. Lying about study hall." Her lips curled, her eyes narrowing as she watched you, daring you to deny it. "Tell him how you lied about having your period because Patrick already had his fill for the day."

Heat flushed through you, burning your cheeks, your entire body suddenly too hot as shame and anger fought for control. You clenched your jaw, trying desperately to keep your face still, to hold onto some shred of calm while everything was crumbling around you. But Tashi's words struck deep, each one a knife, twisting with every syllable she wrapped with her tongue.

Art sat there, silent, his eyes darting between you and Tashi, confusion clouding his face.

He looked over to Patrick, who sat motionless, his mouth shut tight, his gaze fixed on the floor. His silence was the worst part, his refusal to look at you said more than words ever could. And still, you couldn't bring yourself to look away from Tashi.

Art whispered your name, almost like a question, but you ignored him. You couldn't let this spiral any further. You had to fight back, somehow, anything to keep the walls from caving in.

"She's lying," you spat, your voice harsher than you intended. "She's just a jealous bitch who doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about." You felt the words pour out of you, reckless and biting. "She's a pathetic freak who's obsessed with her stupid tennis matches and hates that no one wants to be around her."

Tashi didn't flinch. Instead, she smiled a slow, satisfied smile, the kind that said she knew she had already won. The sound of her low chuckle made your skin crawl. The silence that followed her laughter was suffocating, like the air had been sucked outof the room. Patrick's silence, his refusal to speak, sealed your fate. He didn't need to say anything. Art knew just from the sight.

"Tell him," Tashi repeated, her voice a mocking whisper now, almost playful in its cruelty.

Art's voice came out soft, weak. "Tashi, just leave her alone. You don't know what you're saying." He wouldn't look at her, his eyes downcast, his voice shaking with pleading.

Tashi's eyes sharpened as she turned her gaze on him, her smile fading. "You're a fucking idiot, Art," she spat, the words landing like a slap.

The annoying buzzing light above flickered erratically, its steady hum beating in time with the pounding in your head. Each flicker felt like a countdown, ticking down the seconds until you snapped, until there was nothing left.

You couldn't stay here. You couldn't breathe in this room with the weight of their stares crushing you.

"I don't have to take this,” you muttered, pushing back from the table, your chair scraping loudly against the floor as youstood. The room blurred as you stormed toward the door, your steps quick and unsteady, the sound of your heartbeat drowning out everything else.

Patrick's eyes followed you, but you couldn't face him. You couldn't bear the look you knew would be there. Art scrambled up after you, but he didn't call out, didn't try to stop you. You heard the door slam behind you, followed by the soft patter of his footsteps as he tried to keep up.

You reached your dorm room, your breath unsteady, your hands trembling as you left the door open behind you. You heard Art enter, the quiet click as he closed it softly. The silence between you stretched out, thick and suffocating, the tension in the air so heavy it felt like it could crush you both. Your mind raced, but all you could focus on was the sound of your own uneven breathing, the way your chest felt tight, like you couldn't get enough air.

Art finally spoke, his voice low, fragile.

"You're not on your period, are you?" He didn't look at you as he asked, his gaze fixed on the floor like he couldn't bear to meet your eyes.

The words hit you like a punch, and for a moment, you couldn't speak. You swallowed hard, your throat dry, your mind spinning as you tried to find a way out of this, but there was nothing left to say. Slowly, you shook your head, your eyes burning with unshed tears.

Art let out a bitter laugh, the sound hollow and broken. His shoulders slumped, and for the first time, he looked truly defeated.

"Okay," he muttered, more to himself than to you, a small, disbelieving chuckle slipping through his lips as if this was all some sick joke. But there was no humor in it. No relief.

Just pain.

You reached out, desperate to stop him from walking away, from leaving you here alone with the mess you had made. "Art, please," you whispered, your voice cracking as a sob escaped your throat.

He shook his head, pulling his wrist from your grasp, his face contorted with pain. "My chest physically hurts," he whispered, his voice barely audible. He swallowed hard, fighting to keep his composure, but his tears betrayed him. "I can't... I can't do this right now."

With one last look, he turned and walked out, leaving you alone with nothing but the sound of your own breathing and painful thoughts.

[megumimania]

4:44 — patrick zweig

synopsis: after publicly embarrassing you and your marriage being at deaths door, patrick shows up offering much more than you bargained for.

warnings: angst, smut (17+), patrick is messy as fuck (figuratively and literally) ,cheating, brief mentions of art and tashi.

a/n: finally wrote something for patrick and of course it got a bit nasty and angsty lmao.

he never meant for you to find out like this.

finding out along with the rest of the world that he was cheating on you was something you didn’t expect to wake up to.

patrick knew of the humiliation and embarrassment that you were going to be subjected to as a result of the leaked paparazzi pics that showed him getting hot and heavy with tashi duncan, an old flame that never really died down. even though he reassured you otherwise.

the media never really left you alone at that point. your simple wish of privacy being disrespected at every turn you take. running simple errands were a thing of a past as you couldn’t escape the barrage of questions being asked as you put your shopping cart away.

‘mrs zweig, is it true that you’re divorcing your husband?’

“mrs zweig, how do you feel about the cheating allegations? do you forgive your husband?”

“mrs zweig, reports say that you engaged in a months long affair with art donaldson, is that true?”

the questions were obviously asked to get a rise out of you and despised it. using your marital issues to sell a quick buck was so low blow. a part of you wished they would fuck off somewhere else,hoping that there would be some new drama that they would fixate on and leave you alone.

thankfully they did, a random celebrity’s pregnancy announcement being enough to distract the public from the turmoil that was your life. you were so relived, finally being able to fade back into obscurity. however, whilst everyone managed to move on like the internet does, patrick was terribly relentless.

patrick kept trying to make up for it, buying you luxury bags and designer goods at your request as if that would heal the heartbreak and embarrassment that you were experiencing. it was a pathetic display of forgiveness and it hurt how litle effort he put in trying to salvage this marriage.

couples therapy was a miss, the both of you being ego driven and stubborn meant that it was like pulling teeth to get any of you to try and take some accountability for the roles each of you played in this marriage.

you weren't delusional, you knew that you weren't perfect and that your marriage with patrick shared the same fate. however in comparison to his infidelity, your supposed issues with control and jealousy seemed minor in the grand scheme of things.

with all avenues exhausted, you decided to push for a divorce much to patrick's dismay. his refusal to sign the papers pissed you off.

why did he have to make everything so difficult?

you thought that some distance would do the trick. so for the past month you've been staying at a fancy hotel in the midst of packing up your whole life to move back to the west coast where your life has always been.

as you were preparing to wind down for the evening, you heard a knock on the door. you quickly shrugged on your robe and your slippers and opened the door to find him of all people standing there.

his eyes looking somewhat ashamed and embarrassed and for the first time the mighty indomitable patrick zweig, looks as small as ever.

“why are you here?” you ask him the million dollar question, the one he cannot answer.

you dont even know why you step aside to let him in. maybe it's the newfound loneliness that makes it harder to maintain that degree of impassiveness towards him. with patrick standing before you in your hotel room you're forced to acknowledge his presence.

he hands you a bottle of wine with an intention to share it between you both and you oblige. he pulls out two glasses for you both as he pours the wine into your glass first and then into his. you watch how his freckled hand smoothly pours the wine into the glass without any spillage.

you dont even know why you listen to him talk, as if you'd get something reasonable from him but you know he's full of bullshit. when you ask why? with a lump forming in your throat. he stands there aimless, the words falling dry on his tongue. looking at you as if the answers written on your forehead.

yet it isn't enough to fully squash your want for him. so when he does lean in to kiss you, you let him. the kiss is short but weighted, his apology being interwoven into every kiss. the several glasses of wine in your systems has you both feeling some type of way.

“should we even be doing this?” his voice seems worlds away when it’s buried in the crook of your neck. his hands roam around your waist in a tentative manner, unsure whether he's doing the right thing but when you place his hands firmly on your waist, he feels his heart race.

“i won’t say anything if you don’t.” the go ahead you’ve given him turns him into a madman, with clothes being haphazardly strewn across the hotel room. he can't get enough of you. his hands wanting to leave a mark on every single part of your body making you groan in pleasure.

patrick fucks like a man starved.

your legs rest on his shoulders as he buries his face into your wet cunt, lapping up the juices with his tongue. the lewd slurping and sucking sounds as well as the way his nose bumps against your clit has you grinding into his face. god he missed this, missed you.

“patrick im so close…” you mewl as you grip onto his messy curls. he ignores your warning continuing to devour your pussy without a care in the world. your vision swims and your toes curl as you’re on the brink of coming undone. patrick knows this and like the asshole he is he will not stop until you're a whining mess.

he lets out a low groan becoming drunk on your pussy, his eyes half lidded and filled with lust. “missed your pretty pussy, fake ones didn’t hit the same.” he murmured. eating you out was his favourite past time if he could say so himself. patrick ignores your pleas, making direct eye contact with you as he spits onto your cunt smearing it all across your puffy folds.

“fuck... patrick!” you cry out as your vision goes white and your body goes limp. he comes up a few seconds later, his lips coated in your slick as he pulls you into a sloppy kiss where you can faintly taste yourself on his tongue. his teeth lightly grazing your lower lip makes you pause for a second when you realise the bastard was fucking smiling.

“what's so funny?" you cock a brow at him and he laughs again even harder this time, before dismissing your concern with a wave of his hand. "can’t a man enjoy his last fuck with his soon to be ex-wife?” he grins like the arrogant fuck he is, the vitriol that threatens to leave your mouth is quickly silenced with a gasp as patrick swiftly enters you.

you both still for a moment, as you try to accommodate each other. it’s been a long time since you’ve slept with someone let alone your husband. you hopelessly grip onto his bicep, your manicured nails leaving red crescent shaped marks on his skin.

finally patrick starts to move, his strokes slow and languid as if he’s trying to savour every moment of this moment with you. he drinks up all the moans and expletives that carelessly leaves your lips as he picks up the pace, slamming into you with a desperate fervour.

the way patrick’s dick kept hitting your g spot was enough for you to start seeing stars, the obscene squelching sounds from your pussy was enough to drive him insane. “baby, please m’gonna—” you whined, feeling your body tense up as you desperately clawed his back.

he was fucking you stupid but you couldn’t complain, he knew your body like back of his hand our mind foggy as all you could focus on was him thrusting in and out of you.

if patrick was able photograph this moment, he would. your fucked out expression, the way your tits bounced with each thrust, the anklet he bought you that was adorned in diamonds sitting pretty on his shoulder. however he knew that this wasn’t something to be commemorated, this was a goodbye.

his hands squeezed your pretty tits, circling your spit covered nipples until they were hardened peaks. “you’re gonna what? i can’t help you if you don’t use your words doll.” he rasped against your ear, biting back the urge to moan after feeling your pussy fluttering around him.

he knew that he was being a bit mean by playing dumb but he didn’t want this to end, so if he had to prolong your orgasm then that was it.

your back arched slightly at the stimulation you were experiencing, making you heady with pleasure. “i-i’m gonna cum patrick.” you admitted, voice strained and tears brimming your eyes as you were soon approaching your climax. “see, now i can help with that.” his hands snake down to your clit rubbing it in circles, only speeding up your orgasm.

your body convulsed as you came all over patrick’s dick, legs still trembling from the after effects of your orgasm. patrick’s release followed shortly after, slumping down beside you with a huff. the two of you stayed like that for a while, your breathing being the only sounds filling the room.

eventually sleep claims you both, his arms snug around your waist providing you more comfort than you anticipated. by the time you wake up its midday and the sunlight is streaming through the curtains.

you get a start on your day, ignoring the way your muscles ache with each turn and the litter of hickeys decorating your neck that are still visible no matter how many times you part your hair in different directions.

days later, patrick finally signs the divorce papers you’ve sent him in the mail. you’re too busy staring at the words on the paper to notice your wedding ring that has rolled out of the envelope.

you hold the ring that now more feels weighted than before, it holds an air of finality toward it that leaves you with a bittersweet feeling, that it was now all finally over.

[grimsonandclover]

Vote on angsty fic idea

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american wedding

dream letter/dream brother

[vendetta-ari]

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Hi! You can call me Ari or Ven, I'm 18!! its nice to meet you!! I'm a bit rusty with my writing so please forgive me, I'm starting this blog for fun mainly, but it's also a good way to improve my writing.

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[bebx]

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[modifieduchiha]

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[ Angry + Frustrated ]

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[tinytennisskirt]

Small Victories

Summary: based on a request, Stanford tennis player! reader and Art strike up a new friendship as they're both pretty lonely at Stanford. It's platonic and fun, but reader is taken out of the tennis season after a serious injury ruins her leg. Recovery is hard, but Art is there the entire way insisting you get back to tennis- and as you slowly heal, he slowly falls harder and harder. It becomes undeniable that you two belong together when you finally get back on the court and win your first game post-injury... when things left unsaid can't stay unsaid.

Warning: mentions of broken bones and blood. Mention of sex. Kissing. A little angst, and a tiny bit of miscommunication if you squint. Slowburn friends to lovers. A good amount of fluff and fun. 13k words- brace yourselves.

It was your first day at Stanford after spending your first night in your dorm room. You had some free time so you’d been spending it unboxing and putting away more of your clothes and things. You covered the ugly boring walls with simple patchwork tapestry, and carefully hung your star-shaped string lights. You set up your computer at the provided desk, moving it to the corner where it was level with the table you’d set up your microwave and kettle on. You made the bed, organized your rackets, and you would have never been this clean if you were at home, but you were a little too bored and you were racking up the nerve to go and speak to people. Meeting new people. 

It’s not like you were socially inept at all, but the anticipation was killer. Being so far away from everyone you knew, having this pressure to make friends here or being around wouldn’t be all that worthwhile. Yes, you loved tennis. Yes, you were so glad to be at Stanford. But could you enjoy it without any friends? No. When you decided your room was done, you logged onto your computer to look over the campus website to see if maybe there were any events tonight. 

You found a few as you scrolled. They had a painting class led by an instructor, not your thing. They had an acapella group info night, which could be fun, but you couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket. You scrolled down to the sports section. Football team info night, lacrosse recruitment, and you saw it, perfectly dated for today at eight, a tennis mixer for all tennis students in the far corner garden on campus, just a ten-minute walk. You shut your computer off and immediately started going through your clothes.

You ended up in your favourite jeans and a light purple tank top, pairing it with some casual Converse you’d had for two years, a nice belt, some pretty earrings, and the most dainty necklace you had. You did your makeup in the mirror, getting your eyeliner right in one try which was an absolute wonder, and finished everything off with a pairing of blotted lipstick and lip balm. You looked over everything in the mirror, fixing the curl of your hair just a bit before you packed the simple things into a small bag and headed out the door. 

The garden was cute, it was a little corner boxed in with hedges, full of picnic tables and lawn chairs. You looked up and down the edges lined with pretty pink, orange, yellow, and purple flowers. The 90s music from a radio in the corner was fairly loud, but more dull than the conversation between who you assumed were your peers. A wave of excitement hit as you looked up and around these people, not exactly watching as you stepped backward, foot hitting the side of someone else’s and tripping just slightly in the same direction. Thank god you caught your balance, because without it you might have ended up on the person behind you’s lap. 

“You okay?” He asked, hands up, ready to catch if he needed. You turned, fixing yourself, trying to hide your embarrassment. This was an amazing start, you thought to yourself, chuckling nervously. His eyes were soft and genuine, and he was asking. 

“Oh, yeah, just not looking where I was walking,” You smiled. “I’m so sorry.” 

He smiled back, “No, you’re good, don’t worry about it. I sit with my feet too far out anyway.” He said, getting up out of the chair he was sitting in with his drink. You noted just how nice his voice sounded, you’d never heard anyone with his tone. “My name is Art… Donaldson.” He extended his free hand to you and you were a little surprised but glad. 

“Y/N,” You answered, unable to control the grin that came from meeting someone already, even if you nearly tripped into him. You eyed him up and down a moment. He was taller than you, thin, with blonde curls and a big smile. Bigger than one you would have gotten from anyone else you spoke to if you had ended up speaking to anyone else that night. “You’re in the tennis program?” You asked. 

“Yeah,” He grinned. “And you too, I assume.” 

“Mhm,” You nodded back. “First year. Nervous.” You admit, feeling like maybe he’d get it. And he did, no doubt. 

Art ruffled his hair, “Oh yeah. I’m on residency, so it’s not much different from my previous school, but I don’t know anyone, so it’s a little weird. I had to check the campus website for anything to do to get out and meet people.” He spoke a lot with his hands, you noted along with the fact you had done the exact same thing. He was also just speaking to speak, you noticed as you nodded along, smiling. He was nervous too. “Are you on residency?” He asked, ending his little spiel. You’d let him talk just to hear him talk, finding his voice unique and a little bit pretty. And he was nice. 

“I am, I spent the whole day organizing and decorating my room,” You chuckled, stepping aside to grab yourself a can of iced tea, and cracking it open. Art watched as you did, studying the dainty rings on your fingers, the way the one strand of hair fell in your face when you tripped and you hadn’t yet thought to move it. “Things are a lot harder to do without a staple gun.” You told him.

He sipped his own drink, “Mmm, right? Took me seven attempts to hang up my poster today with that stupid blue clay stuff.” 

“Oh, that stuff is nasty.” He liked how you crinkled your nose. “I bought this glue-brand double-sided tape. It’s a game-changer, but so sticky.” And the embarrassment from nearly tripping eased away as the conversation enhanced itself. He was sweet and funny and kind and truly seemed like he was hearing what you said. Art was truthfully just glad he found anyone to talk to after Patrick left last night and as the conversation moved over the regular small talk, he found he didn’t really want to talk to anyone else. 

The night went on and people were leaving now and then, but you and Art sat on the bench in the very corner of the corner garden unphased, just talking about your histories with tennis. Soon you knew all of his best victories and he knew yours and he also knew you liked music more than most things, tennis included, him making mental note of what songs to listen to when he went back to his dorm room. He felt a lot less alone in Patrick’s absence than he’d expected and you were so interesting. He also knew you were a big fan of iced coffee, had a lucky tennis racket, and had a love for star-shaped things. Just as you knew his best game was his doubles at the Junior US Open with his best friend who you’d heard a lot about now, just as you heard about his past at Mark Rebatello’s Tennis Academy, how his favourite thing to do in tennis is serve, and his favourite post-game meal is chicken wings. Your conversation naturally covered all the simple things and when the night truly had to come to an end, he gladly walked you back to your dorm. 

“It’s been really nice meeting you,” He admitted, rubbing the back of his neck as you approached your door. Part of him knew he could probably tell you everything and anything about himself and you’d listen and that’s what he liked about you. “Glad someone spoke to me.” 

“Well, I tripped, so we’re just lucky, I suppose.”

He twisted his mouth to the side, “I guess so, but who’s to say I didn’t do it on purpose?” He questioned with a teasing smile. 

You laughed quietly, “It’s been nice meeting you too. I’ll see you around the court?” 

“Probably,” He replied, shoving his hands into his pockets as you leaned against the door. “I look forward to it.” A grin slowly crept up his face, unable to hide itself. He was not in a particular lack, but gaining you was something he wouldn’t regret and he knew it. “I’ll see you around.” 

You couldn’t help but grin right back- his smile was so wide it was hard to ignore. “Goodnight, Art.” 

“Goodnight, Y/N.” 

You saw him again the next day, more than enthused to see a familiar face around. You had your hair up in a ponytail, sporting a white skort and black tank top and he was in blue gym shorts and a sports t-shirt that was just a tad lighter than his shorts. 

“Hey you,” You smiled as you approached. He turned, more than happy to see you as well. 

“Hey,” he replied, setting his things down on the nearest bench. You beamed, doing the same. “How are you?” 

“I’m good, how are you?” You asked, hopping up and starting to stretch. He had his hands shoved in his pockets. “Co-op doubles today, you want to be my partner?” He asked. You were nodding yes before he even finished the sentence. 

It was that day that Art realized just how good you were at tennis and how distracting it was playing doubles when all he wanted to do was watch you play. It was almost hypnotizing to see you do your thing and he was honestly a little proud he’d made your acquaintance before you demolished the other team so he wouldn’t have had to look like a suck up approaching you afterward. 

You jumped and high fived him when you two won the scrimmage and Art knew he picked the perfect tennis partner for sure. As for you, he impressed you vastly past your expectations. He was amazing at serving so no wonder it was his favourite. 

“That was crazy,” Art huffed, breathing out. “That was amazing.” 

“Your serves are crazy,” you gushed, turning to him. “You’re amazing, that was amazing that serve at the end completely threw them.” 

Art shook his head, “As if you didn’t completely end the game with that last swing, that was incredible.” He gestured openly, then let his arms fall to his sides. “You want to go again?” 

Technically you were supposed to switch partners, but Art just didn’t want to take that chance. He had you as a partner and he would have to swap it out? No thanks. 

Your smile turned itself into a smirk, you had other thoughts. “Maybe after.” You said and jogged over to the boy you’d just gone up against and asked him to play with you and Art knew what you were doing. You wanted to play against him. 

It turned out to be a problem because now Art had a full view of how you played and it really was hypnotic. You obviously had a well-learned method for every swing and situation and you knew exactly what was in your section and what was in your partner’s. Art was grinning, watching you play and honestly hardly paying much attention to the fact that he himself was in the game. He missed a few balls just because he was watching your swing. You were good, you were really good, and that fact being distracting was not very useful to a scrimmage. 

When the game ended and you had a bit of a water break, you jogged over, “What was that?” You laughed. 

Art shrugged, chuckling. “You’re really good.” He took a long drink from his water bottle, knowing the reason he gave you wasn’t very detailed but it was honest. 

You and Art were partners for most co-op doubles that week, hanging out almost every day after or before. You two were fast friends- him enjoying how passionate you were when you talked and shared the things you liked and the way you went about tennis, you enjoying having a great partner for scrimmages and the things he talked about. Having a familiar face around all the time was the ease you needed to fully get yourself situated at Stanford. It was fun to have someone that you wanted to see every day who happened to want to see you just the same. You two were friends quicker than anyone you’d ever known, like something just clicked and fit into place- he was fun and a little bit wild when he wasn’t shy, and he loved music just as much as you did, it turned out, which was surprising. 

You’d sit in his car for hours just talking with music in the background. “Okay, so McDonalds fries versus Arby’s.” You said, picking through the McDonald’s fries you two bought on the way back to campus. Art put the car in park and you were leaned against the car door, sitting facing him. “Don’t say Arby’s, I’m begging you.” 

He smiled and shrugged a little sheepishly, “They’re thicker.” He reasoned. 

“Uh-huh, I see how it is,” you said, rolling your eyes at him. He hid his face in his hands. “McDonald's are so classic.” 

He raised his head, “True-“ he spoke with too many in his mouth and you smiled. “- But Arby’s are curly. Which means more.” 

“Okay so you’re settled on the fact that it’s more food,” you laughed, popping a small one in your mouth. “Here I was going off of taste.” 

“You can’t go off taste alone because quality is so important,” he said, gesturing with his hands. “McDonalds fries are good but the quality is shit.” 

“You’re right but you can ignore that-“ 

“I have to ignore that while you ignore thicket and curlier?” He laughed. “No-“ he couldn’t get through his words laughing, “We are done here.” 

“What-“ you laughed. “No, come on.” 

He gestured wide, hand on your upper arm, sliding down to rest on your forearm, “You’ve just proven you can’t debate, it’s pointless-“ he couldn’t stop laughing, and from that point on neither could you. It was contagious and spread throughout the car like the air conditioning that circulated. It was good laughter, sweet, and unending because whenever one of you tried to stop, even looking at the other would cause you both to burst out laughing again. It was a cycle that made your ribs ache, your heart beat harder in your chest and your breath impossible to catch. The laughter only ended when you were both in too much pain to continue. 

Art rubbed his eyes, leaning against the car's center console, catching his breath. He missed Patrick but not so much when you were around. He was glad he had you and that was one of the only thoughts in his head as he looked at you, catching your breath as well. Your smile was gorgeous was the afterthought but there was no afterthought to that thought itself, just that you were and it was. You moved your hair from your face and he thought again about the fry conversation and he nearly laughed again, but he tried hard not to.

The truth was Art did have thoughts like that often. You saw him every day, you were funny and talented, and Art loved how much you cared about everyone around you. How could he not, even for a moment, think more of you than what you two were? But he didn’t notice how often he had those thoughts because they were forgotten so easily, buried under something subconsciously. 

You looked back at him, the atmosphere shifting once again. Art watched you glance at the time, “I have to get to bed, I’m so sorry,” He loved how you apologized for nothing. He’d tried to correct it at first but it was just something you couldn’t help. “I have that game tomorrow, the one I’ve been talking about, are you coming?” 

“Yeah, I wouldn’t miss it,” he grinned, pulling the car back into drive to bring you closer to your residency building so you wouldn’t have to walk. “Starts at ten?” 

“I have to be there at ten, game at eleven.” You nodded. 

“Sounds good,” He nodded back, a slight smile pulling at his lip. “I’ll see you there.”

“I guess you will. Or might. I need you there in case I need to make a run for it, I’m terrified to play that Roxy girl, she’s supposed to be so hardcore.” You pressed your hands to your face. “Thank you for hanging out, for a moment I forgot just how scared I am of tomorrow.” Your smile turned to a grin and Art’s followed. He was unable to control his smile around you. 

He shook his head, “You’ll be great. You’ll kick her ass.” 

“She’s Russian,” you replied. “She’s going to do more than kick mine.” 

Art shook his head again, “No. Can’t think that way or else she will for sure. You kick hers, no other way.”

You took a deep breath, grin dulling back to a simple smile. “Thank you. I’ll need all the luck I can get though,” You opened his car door to get out. 

“Okay, well, good luck if I don’t see you before the game, leprechauns, four-leaf clovers, break a leg, etcetera.” 

You laughed and after saying goodnight, your laugh still echoed around his head. It did so until he went to sleep that night. But he didn’t think anything of it, there was no reason to. 

The game the next day really did terrify you. This girl you were up against was hardcore, you spent the morning watching her games trying to figure her out but all you got was that she stepped twice before swinging left, no matter what as well as she was an amazing player. She had long sleek blonde hair that she tied up in a braided ponytail and icy eyes that seemed to stare into your soul when you saw her tennis poster. You wondered if her eyes followed you around as you got dressed into your pink skort and lilac purple tank top combo. Looking nice on the court helped a lot with your confidence.

You tied your hair up in two French braids to keep it away from your face and tried to take deep breaths as you grabbed your things and headed over to the Stanford court. It was a busy day, apparently, as a small crowd of people were waiting to get into the benches and you walked by them and into the building where you met your coach. 

“You ready?” She asked and you really wanted to say no, the nerves getting to your stomach. The first big game of the season meant something. This is the beginning of what you were working for. Part of you was so ready for this all to begin, other casual games with small audiences were easy, but there was a Russian girl out there ready to demolish you. You took another deep breath. 

“Yeah.” And you took your things to the court and unzipped your bag that you’d packed in a haste this morning out of pure nerves and no real rush to see that somehow, in some extreme mishap, that your lucky racket wasn’t there. You turned to your coach, who knew that when you laid all your rackets out on the sidelines that you were missing the lucky one. 

And Art in the stands looked over, knowing the exact same thing. He turned to Patrick, who was visiting as of this morning, “She doesn’t have her purple racket.” He said as if Patrick knew what that meant. Art had spent the morning filling Patrick in on who you were and Patrick listened with a knowing smirk, but didn’t say anything about what he truly thought. “Patrick, she can’t play this without her lucky racket.” He urged as if it made a difference. The game was set to start in five minutes. 

“Lucky racket?” Patrick understood. When he was younger he himself had the same thing, he knew the sentiment and the effect it could have on a game. That’s why Art, knowing Patrick, knew you were the same way.

“Fuck,” Art said, looking around to see if there was a clear path out of the bleachers, but there wasn’t. He looked back at you, talking to your coach with your hand over your mouth. He got up and stepped over a few people but was stopped by an usher. 

“Game is starting in five-“ the burly man said. 

“I know, I need to get out,” he urged. 

“Sit. Down. Please.” The usher replied. 

Art shook his head, “No, you don’t understand, this is vital to the game about to be played, that’s my friend out there-“ 

“Sir, if you leave before the first half, you won’t be getting back in.” He said. And that was that. Art couldn’t even make a run for it because this usher would make sure he couldn’t get the racket back to you. 

“Fuck,” Art muttered, having to sit back next to Patrick knowing this wouldn’t be good. It put him on edge from the stands he couldn’t imagine the anxiety you were feeling if it was already bad and you didn’t have your racket. He rubbed his face, looking at Patrick, who knew exactly what you were feeling even not knowing you yet. “This is bad.” 

You had to use your practice racket. Which was fine if you were anyone else, it worked just the same, but the feeling of confidence was hard to attain. You hit the court as the announcer called out you were to serve. You took what felt like the deepest breath, filling your lungs as you faced your blindingly blonde opponent. You let the breath go slowly, trying to convince yourself that this was fine. And you served. 

The rally was good, you both had each other moving, but she was up in points within the first ten minutes. You weren’t doing badly, you were just behind. Art and Patrick were watching from the stands at how intense things were, Art worried the entire time. 

You caught up and surpassed her points around the middle, but soon enough she bounced right back surpassing you again. You were getting increasingly more scared that this was exactly what you expected from a game without the purple racket. You took a deep breath and hit the ball as hard as you could upon serve, it going awkwardly sideways and immediately out. You tried not to swear too loudly. Art and Patrick did it for you in unison, Patrick was just as invested as Art. 

When they called the halfway point, you were below her points-wise. Art couldn’t pay less attention to the way you walked off the court with your hand to your head because he was running, or trying to, through the sea of people who were going for washroom breaks and getting food from the stands outside. He tried to push through but more people kept coming and the stress of it alone had his heart beating. That was nothing on the beat of his heart as he finally pushed through and he started sprinting across the campus grounds trying to get to your residency as fast as he could. 

He didn’t think he’d ever run so fast in his life but this was the only way he knew how to help. This was how you would save your game. He ran through the residency doors and up the stairs to the second floor and grabbed your key from behind the fire alarm trigger, unlocking your door. He knew you wouldn’t mind after this- he looked around seeing the racket leaning in the corner and he grabbed it, locking your door again and jumping the stairs, sprinting back. 

It took a lot longer than he thought. He tried a shortcut that was stupidly a dead end and he checked his watch before launching back into his sprint and he had two minutes before you were back on. He was so fucked. This time he just about shoved people as he returned to the crowd. 

He could hear the game resume and people did hurry to get back to their seats which helped a little- Art was still pushing to make it back to you, to get the racket to you before the second half truly started. He knew if he just got it out there onto the court you could switch it out between serves and that would be good enough and he was nearly through the crowd, cheers in his ears, people whooping and yelling, getting into the game and all of a sudden it was a simultaneous gasp. Art was confused for about a split second before he heard the scream in the silence of a crowd that held their breath. 

Art pushed through the crowd and the sight he saw when he laid eyes on you on the ground was something reminiscent of some horror movie. The detail was too much but visible to him, from far away, was bone. And you were screaming, it was you. 

He bolted over but not before the others did, surrounding you immediately locking him out and he looked over as your tennis partner ran to the edge of the court to vomit. The crowd was mumbling but other than that it was silence versus screams and cries and it was you. Art hated that it was you. 

He couldn’t do anything, he wasn’t any help, 911 was already called and you were crying and screaming, and thank god the huddle shielded the crowd from the blood that pooled on the court. 

Art did the only thing he knew to do and that was collect your things. It didn’t matter what it looked like he was doing, he packed up your rackets and your water bottle, numbing himself to the situation so he could at least do this for you as your screams rang out in the crowd of people still seeming to hold their breaths. He couldn’t get to you if he tried. Sirens in the distance meant it was time to get the fuck out of the way and he moved over as the paramedics worked quickly to tend to you to get you on the ambulance, doing what they could to stop the bleeding. 

Art ran faster than he did to get your racket, even with your rackets on him. It was a good thing Patrick had gotten himself out of the crowd, meeting Art at the fence doors to get him to his car. He’d only known you a month or two, but you were still a person he cared a lot about and he knew your entire family was miles and miles away. You’d be alone in this and knowing you, and talking to you every day, he knew you were afraid of doctors and hated hospitals more than anything. He couldn’t let it be something you had to brave alone.  He threw your rackets in the trunk as Patrick got into the passenger seat and Art tossed him the keys to start the car before he got into the driver's seat. 

“Fuck, this is so bad,” Art said, pulling away a little faster than he should have. “This is so bad.” 

He ended up waiting ten hours at the hospital. You needed surgery to fix your leg and nobody in your family could make it over in ten hours. It would take a flight to get to you. Patrick stayed about four hours with Art, trying to keep him occupied so he didn’t lose his mind in the waiting room, but Art wasn’t very talkative, just worried. You had easily become one of his best friends. 

He ate hospital food and he slept in his chair against the wall. The nurses knew he was there for you and came to update him until one of the nurses told him to come back the next morning because by then you’d probably be stable and awake properly without the pain meds keeping you asleep. He hated that, he slept in his car.

Patrick came back the next morning, tapping on Art’s window at close to 11:30 in the morning. Art woke with a bit of a start, his hair messed up, his clothes from the days before still on. Patrick held up a bag from Art’s dorm room where he’d stay. You wouldn’t think Patrick to think of something like it, but he brought Art a change of clothes which he took gratefully and changed into in the hospital bathroom before going back up to see you. 

Patrick gladly waited in the hallway when he went in. You were awake but you were staring blankly at a wall- it didn’t seem like you even realized he had entered. You’d gotten used to not minding the nurses and doctors that came in and out. Art approached slowly out of understanding and observed how hard you crying so silently. He thought he saw a tear but as he observed, it was a steady stream.

“Hey…” he said quietly. 

You turned your head at the sound of his voice and Art swore when you met his eyes he had never seen eyes sadder than yours. It shook him a little to see pain so obvious in someone’s eyes. “Art-“ you sobbed, putting your head in your hands, unable to say anything else. He rushed forward, dropping his backpack at your bedside to give some sense of comfort. He didn’t know what to do, so he crouched next to you and his hands rested on your forearm, careful not to touch the bruising no doubt from the fall. He didn’t say anything else for a long while and neither did you, you just cried as Art crouched next to you, his hands gently grazing over your skin where they could. Soft, back and forth, just delicately. 

It was the first act anyone had ever taken to make you feel okay, truly okay. You’d been intimidated and overwhelmed by the hospital lights, the sterile metals, and sounds and processes. 

It was also the first true act of many that was something closer than what it should have been for you and Art. It was just you and him in that hospital room, empty aside from the machines, drips, a bed, and chairs, but the silence was so full that it occupied every corner that wasn’t already taken. 

You did eventually speak, but that silence was so needed. It was a conversation about what had happened and you explained it all and how it felt, but Art informed you that you were ahead of her in points before it happened. He didn’t tell you he didn’t see it happen- he didn’t tell you anything about where he’d gone at the halfway point of the game. 

Art slept in the corner chair later that night when you slept. Patrick eventually left after waiting for so long. When you needed your privacy Art got his meals from downstairs, heading back to the dorm and coming back the next morning every day for two weeks. He came by whenever he could to see you, the conversation was good and kept you distracted. You talked about everything and nothing just to pass the time in your lonely, empty room. Art brought you your iPod and a few other things from your dorm to keep you occupied when he wasn’t there.

Art was the greatest comfort until your parents finally got on a plane and flew out to see you, urging to somehow get you home but you didn’t want to go. You couldn’t anyway, and you were so glad. Your mom was surprised by the flowers you’d received from the Russian girl from the big game, who did come to visit you and was surprisingly very sweet, unlike her teeth-bared photo from her Facebook. But other than that, Art visited almost every day right after your parents did. They stayed at a nearby hotel as you were in the hospital recovering. 

Patrick stayed nearby for Art who was fine, other than a little busy most days when he went to visit. Today Patrick came in with Art. 

“Hey,” you grinned, sitting up just a bit when the two boys came in with McDonald’s. “Oh my god, you didn’t.” 

“But we did,” Art said, kicking your tray over to your bed and putting the food down on it. “Patrick’s idea actually, which I hate- but he wanted to get Arby’s and I told him no.” 

You smiled at him slyly, knowingly, but your attention turned to Patrick. “Hey! I’ve heard so much about you, this is crazy. I heard you were at the game.”

He grinned and you noted the dimple he had when he smiled. It was nice. “Yeah. Aside from the whole bone-out-the-leg thing, you were pretty good. I’ve heard a lot about you too.”

“Well, yeah,” you nodded, gesturing to your leg. You were fun, Patrick knew Art liked you but it was finally coming to be something clear in his mind as to why. You had high spirits. But both boys had no idea how hard you sobbed the moment they left. “Thank you for bringing me food, hospital soup and chicken are somehow both dry.” You said, opening the bag. 

Art looked at Patrick for some sort of approval which he got with a look Patrick exchanged. “You’re welcome,” Art spun on his heel. He looked at the way your hair fell over your face as you peeked in, how pretty it looked the way it curved inward to frame your face. The hospital had hindered your will to do your makeup but you still somehow looked just as gorgeous, if not more. His fleeting thought lingered this time as he gathered the right words to say. “So how is your leg feeling today?” 

“Fucked,” you replied, handing the boys their fries and burgers. “Hurts like hell and I’m still on the super strong stuff.” 

“Well you couldn’t tell,” Patrick said, pulling up a chair. 

“I think if I asked, they’d give me the good stuff.” You nodded. “But it makes me so tired, it’s awful.” You bit into your burger. 

Art pulled a chair closer to you and sat in it, “So all this was just for some drugs, hm?” He teased. “And attention.” 

“Oh yeah,” You agreed with a laugh between bites. Patrick chuckled and Art grinned, “All I had to do was fuck up my knee, have a surgery and a half, and ruin my tennis career.” Both boy’s smiles fell almost immediately, watching your tongue press to your cheek. The silence was loud, but you just continued eating. Art opened his mouth to speak but nothing came to mind. It could be true, you could very well never play tennis again, or with proper rehabilitation, you could be back to playing eventually. He didn’t know, he didn’t know what to say. You sighed, your voice monotone, “It’s fine. Most people who can’t play anymore start coaching. I just have to get better at teaching it.” 

“No, you can’t just say you’re going to coach, you still have so much work to do. You could get back into it when you get better,” Art said, hating how willing you were to succumb to just… teaching. “You’re only starting.” 

“True,” Patrick said, agreeing. “Would be badass if you got back on the court.” 

You twisted your mouth to the side, not finding it very easy to even speak on the topic, even if you brought it up yourself. You didn’t want to cry, not right now, you usually waited until you knew Art was down the hall so you had a minute to cry before the nurses came to check on you. “I don’t know…” 

Art looked at you with an expression that bordered on unkind- not toward you, but toward what you were saying. He’d played tennis with you- you were amazing and to not even believe that it could even get better was almost disgusting to him. You had so much potential, so much talent, “You do know.” He insisted. “There’s no way you want this to be career-ending, so don’t let it.”  

Patrick, despite the seriousness of the situation, smiled watching Art all passionate about something. It had been a while since he’d seen Art so riled up about something even if it didn’t affect him directly. Patrick smiled because he was seeing something he knew Art himself didn’t see. He leaned against his hand propped up by the arm of the chair. And you knew Art was right, but not enough to see past the cast on your leg, not enough to see past the months of rehab, not enough to see the court again. As much as you wanted it, it wasn’t in the foreseeable future, so you let it feel impossible. 

Your parents went back home a month or so in with the promise of returning, but it was getting expensive to stay, so they’d go return to their jobs. It was back to being Art and now recently, Patrick, whom you’d grown to be quite fond of. He brought out a side to Art that was not funnier, per se, but broadened his means to be. Patrick sometimes came to see you when Art had class so he wasn’t just sitting around Art’s dorm. Art would swing by after to join the card games and be told to be quiet by the nurses. It always ended up with you laughing so hard your ribs hurt more than your knee, even for a second. It was the only pain that was welcome in the hospital room. 

It was evening and you were sitting on your hospital bed, just thinking over everything. It wasn’t rare for you to cry at random periods throughout the day, it was a little too normal, if you were honest. All of this was so hard- continuing school from a hospital room because of all the risks was awful. But tomorrow you’d be seeing a physical therapist and that would decide if you were ready for rehabilitation. You wiped your eyes from the tears that fell just thinking about whether or not you’d be fit to walk on your leg again, which would determine if you could run if you could play. 

That’s when Art knocked on the door. He poked his head, looking around, but ultimately looking at you. You had the lamps that your parents had purchased for the room to be less overwhelmingly white in the top right and bottom left corners of the room, making for dim, comfortable lighting. Art swore he forgot how to greet you when his eyes met your tear-filled ones. The way your eyelashes looked when wet was almost hypnotizing, something that wiped all of the words from his vocabulary and out of sight almost completely. “Um-” He cleared his throat, “Hi,” He started, a weird pit in his throat. “You okay?” 

“Not sure,” You confessed, wiping your tears off your cheeks. He had seen you cry too many times now, it was getting a little embarrassing. “How are you?” Art smiled just a little at the fact you asked while crying. He hated to answer that question when you were upset. 

He pulled up his regular chair, but oddly it didn’t feel close enough. The feeling of it had been creeping up with every one of his visits, every time you were alone. But it got pushed aside. “I’m fine. Class was boring and tennis sucks without you, as usual.” He said, taking a seat. “The girl I’m paired with keeps hitting on me between rounds.” 

You wiped more tears away, smiling just a little though your stomach felt just a little odd at the mention, “Really?” 

“It’s bad.” He laughed, “She twirls her hair and everything.” 

“And that didn’t immediately work on you?” You fake-gasped. Art was just glad you were smiling. “You didn’t get married on the spot?” 

He chuckled, looking at his hands, “I don’t think it’s so easy. I don’t think I even know her name.” 

“You don’t know Melanie?” 

“Is that her name?” 

“No idea,” You laughed, really laughed, and it was a gorgeous sound. “In case you didn’t notice, I’m mostly bedridden and confined to this room.” 

He covered his face, rubbing his eyes, “That’s enough.” He groaned through a laugh, leaning against his hand, just looking at you. 

“I say it’s hardly anything, imagine how fun I could be if I wasn’t broken,” You huffed. “But Melanie, whatever her name is, she’s like… she’s really pretty.” You noted. ‘Melanie’ had all your opposite features, it should be noted. She was pretty just the same, but she was your opposite. 

“Mmm, not my type,” Art replied, scooting his chair just a little closer to the edge of your bed. 

“So you have a type? What, Kat Zimmerman-like?” 

Art groaned again, “I can’t believe Patrick told you that, that’s insane that you’d bring that up right now, I hate that.” He stressed the important syllables and covered his face again. You giggled, unable to keep it in. “No, not Kat Zimmerman, jesus christ.” 

“So then what’s your type?” You asked, just curious. You weren’t sure what drove you to curiosity but you didn’t question it. 

He shook his head, “I don’t think I have one. I know who I’m not into though and she’s exactly that.” Art said. Once again, to be noticed, the opposite of you was not his type. “She’s nice but we don’t talk much aside from when she compliments my playing and my hair and my arms and… all that.” 

You felt a little twinge. It was so awful to be on the inside while life went on outside, you thought to yourself. That was only half the twinge and the only half of the twinge you could understand. The other half was something close to jealousy that went completely unnoticed, but not unfelt. “She does that?” You struggled to sound genuine and that was the only thing you questioned about any of it. 

“Yeah, I hate it. What about you? You have a type?” 

You thought for a second, “I’m the same, I think. I know sports guys… jocks- are not it.” And Art nodded. Something about it felt weird to hear. He qualified as a sports guy, right? He tried to shrug it off, but he internalized it.

The night went on and you talked about things you hadn’t before and it was all romantic context. Past relationships, elementary school crushes. It was something that was needed out in the open and it made for an occupying conversation though it was a little hard to get through when there were constant little fleeting thoughts in Art’s mind that were thoughts about how jealous he was of these boys who had gotten to kiss you, touch you, and have your romantic attention. However, the thoughts were so fleeting they flew by without being read or registered, but they were there even unnoticed. You were his best friend and nothing more and that was that. 

When the doctors okayed you for rehabilitation you were so overjoyed you cried again. It was okay this time, it felt good to cry. All of these months in pain could be undone if you could just get into this and succeed. There was no guarantee it would work, there wouldn’t be at any point a guarantee and you knew that it would be a long, frustrating process, but it felt like it would be worth it. You remembered what Art told you about not wanting that career path to end and not letting this be the end of anything. This injury, in the long run, would not be able to take you from what you loved. Ever. Because you wouldn’t let it. You called to tell Art and you could hear Patrick whoop and cheer in the background. And you had your first session in your hospital room later that week and the now-wilting flowers Art and Patrick had brought you was amazing for motivation. 

Your healing journey was up and down as expected but no matter if you could finish your session or not, Art came by to tell you how great you were doing and Patrick to reassure you that you were a badass. You even let them stay for a session and the physiotherapist told them to ‘shut up’ because they were cheering for you the second you started. You just laughed. 

Patrick, for amusement, liked to sit back when you and Art were talking. He was no master, he was not a very scientific guy but your body language when engaging with each other was crazy obvious. You’d always sit super close no matter what, you leaned toward each other when you laughed, your eye contact was completely loaded with unsaid words and when you spoke it was 89% flirting. Patrick understood Art- you were gorgeous and you were strong and that itself was hot. You were funny and took jabs but you were honestly one of the most caring people Patrick had ever met. So yeah, he understood why Art liked you so much. 

You got better every day, easing onto your crutches at this point, able to somewhat move on your own. Patrick visited that day and he had his intentions. “You heard about that girl who won’t stop hitting on Art between games?” He chuckled, dealing the cards for crazy eights. He watched for your reaction. 

You pressed your tongue to your cheek, “Mmm, he mentioned.” You said, picking up your cards. “She’s still at it?” 

“Worse,” Patrick said. “Asked him out yesterday.” 

You looked up at Patrick with telling eyes and Patrick could have gone off of that alone, but he didn’t yet. He noticed your hands bending the edge of a card as you thought it over. The idea of him and that girl was something you could easily envision. He’d been her partner for over a year now and he had to know her name, they had to have been talking for her to just ask him out. Your jealousy was a fleeting thought that did burn close to the surface. “What did he say?” 

“He said he’d think about it,” Patrick said, eyeing your response to that one. It wasn’t true, Art had turned her down at least twice now. The girl was pretty, but oddly persistent.

“Hm,” You nodded, putting down three cards right off the bat. “He said she wasn’t his type.” 

Patrick shrugged, playing his card, “He’s pretty diverse I think. Me personally-” He placed a hand on his chest, “- Dark hair, dark eyes. I’m not limiting myself to it, but I think I have a type.” 

“That’s very you, I feel,” You said, narrowing your eyes at him. “Are you an ass guy too?” 

“Oh yeah,” He grinned a wide grin. You just smiled and shook your head at him. “What about you? You have a type?” He asked, trying not to make it obvious he was playing wingman here. 

You picked up a card, “I don’t think so. Maybe tall, not too much muscle but not like bone-breaking thin.” You said. “And a good amount of hair. I can’t imagine being with someone with a buzzcut. I don’t know, I don’t think much about who I could want, more of what I don’t want.” 

Patrick pretended like that body criteria wasn’t exactly Art. He smiled just a little, “And what’s that?” 

“Okay, easy. No mommy issues,” You put down another card, “No weird patchy facial hair, nobody who doesn’t know the difference between too, two, and to, and no guys in sports.” 

Patrick leaned in just a bit. “No guys in sports? You don’t date guys who play sports?” He clarified, a little bit of hope slipping out the window for his wingman act. All of everything could be wrong, could be pointless. 

You shook your head, “I say that but I mean football, mostly. Jocks. I had a bad experience with two different football players. Broke my little heart,” You chuckled. “I’ve ruled out jocks.” 

“But you’d date a guy in t-” he almost said tennis. He wouldn’t have been a good wingman to give away something like that. “You’d date a guy who plays something else?” 

“If he’s normal about it,” You nodded. “I can’t be outloved by a sport. My ex, I swear he’d fuck a football if it had a hole.” You placed down two more cards, “Last card.” 

The game finished with your win and Patrick was fairly satisfied with his work, though he intended to ask you a few more things and was cut short from his recon when Art swung in the room with a can of iced tea for you and Coca-Cola for him and Patrick. “How are you?” You asked him, taking the iced tea gratefully. 

“I’m good, you?” Art sat at the end of your bed by your feet, putting a hand on your shin (on your good leg) just casually. Patrick noticed it, but it didn’t seem to phase you. He’d seen it the other day when you rested your head on Art’s shoulder, he’d seen it when Art moved your hair over your ear as you were reading a magazine they’d brought. It was painful how obvious this was- he didn’t have to ask anything else. He almost laughed out loud as he thought about it. He made a mental note to talk to Art about it. 

He went back to the dorm early that day, leaving just you and Art. “Hm,” You hummed, pulling your hair to one side. Art snapped out of the trance he was in, hoping you hadn’t noticed that he was staring. It was something about the way you looked in purple, it was like it made your skin glow. That and your eyelashes as they fluttered when you looked around the room, that and the way your lower lip rested between your teeth as you checked over your textbook quickly making sure you were done with your schoolwork for the day. Art blinked all the thoughts away, but they clung on to your square-necklined purple t-shirt. Something about the way you looked in purple. 

Art rubbed the back of his neck, taking his eyes off of you, but looking back a moment later. Your lip between your teeth had his full attention, his own lips parting just a little at the sight. And then there was your hair draping over your face now and Art wanted so badly to move it like he had before. At this thought, as it crossed his mind it stopped dead centre in his brain. Like a shift, but a shift from his own burying and blatant ignorance of any feelings to being completely in the know. You were here, and you were perfect and you weren’t even doing anything, and Art knew he liked you as more than a friend at that very moment. 

But that was the issue. He was supposed to be your friend. 

And that troubled him the next week or so. He was fine seeing you, being one of your close friends wasn’t an act, it was true to him with the addition that maybe he liked you but he always told himself ‘just a little bit’, he liked you a little. If it was full blown then it would be a crisis and the truth was that it was absolutely and completely full blown and there was nothing he could say to himself that would change that. He thought about you when he wasn’t with you, when he woke up, and when he went to bed. He thought about you when he saw something you liked, he thought about you in every spare moment he could get. It was so bad he couldn’t even tell Patrick- as if Patrick didn’t know and constantly teased him about it. 

You were getting better and better and it was a surprising recovery, doctors said. Your mobility was far ahead of schedule and set to stay that way. Any setbacks from this point would be minor and you were making progress almost miraculously. And you were so glad to hear it every time they’d say it. Your parents came back around the day you took a real step alone and you wouldn’t forget your mom’s shriek of complete happiness. Your knee would work again. 

Just Art brought you flowers that day, not him and Patrick. 

But things stayed the same. You could leave and come back in for therapy and you were more than glad to be out of the hospital, though you’d gotten a bit used to it. Everything was falling into place, Art was there pretty much every step -literal and physical- of the way. He was amazing support and made things feel so much easier. When Patrick came around it was fun to have two people who’d add into the motivation. You got better and better and soon enough you swore you could walk just fine aside from your slight limp. That day you walked across the room when Art turned his back, he was surprised, to say the least.

When you could go out with a wheelchair and crutch the boys took you to the court. It was your first time on it since the incident. Your eyes fell on the spot where it happened. Patrick followed your eyes, grimacing just a bit. You’d forgotten Art didn’t see it- you still had no idea where he’d gone at the halfway point of the game. “I can almost feel it,” You said, a look of disgust on your face. “I think the gasp from the crowd was the worst part.” 

“It was loud,” Patrick said.

Art looked at where they were looking. “But you almost have full use of your knee again. Who knows, you could be back out here in a few months.” He shrugged. You turned on your crutch, away from the spot, and looked at Art. “Okay, don’t give me that look, you know you just need to try.” 

“I know,” You nodded slowly. “I just don’t know to what extent. I don’t think I could follow through with Stanford.” 

“Why not?” 

“It’s so top-notch,” You answered. Patrick kicked around on the court, grabbing one of Art’s balls and rackets and dribbling it around. “The people here are here for a reason and it’s to go pro.” 

Art stepped closer to you, “But you don’t think that’s you?” 

“Not anymore,” You replied, meeting his eyes. “Recovery is amazing but the risk is so high… I’m not even sure I can run yet, let alone sprint and lean side to side on this leg. I want to, I wanted to, but going pro after something like this just doesn’t happen. If I can play again at all, it won’t be good.” You explained. Art nodded through, listening with eyes that held sympathy and a little speck of sadness. “It’s okay, I just… It’s going to take me forever to get over it.” 

He shook his head, “You still don’t need to get over it yet. There’s still so much t-”

“I know. I just can’t see it ever happening.” You said. Art pressed his lips into a straight line and he spun on his heel. Comfort wasn’t what you needed- it was a racket. Art lunged and snatched up the one Patrick was toying with and handed it to you. “What?” 

Patrick caught on quickly. “Hit the ball.” Art said. “In any form.” 

“Art…” You shook your head. 

Patrick threw it anyway and even with the crutch, you instinctively stuck out your racket the way you knew how and hit the ball back to him, your aim still on point. “That was good! What the fuck,” Patrick chuckled. Even he couldn’t hit the ball with that much precision. Art laughed, clapping once- and you had your mouth a little open at the tennis reflexes that hadn’t gone anywhere after all this time. You looked at both of them in minor shock and awe and Art just smiled. He wouldn’t let you give up. He couldn’t. You spent the rest of the evening hitting balls where you stood, feeling a lot better about things. 

Recovery continued, but so did tennis. In your spare time you were on the court, practicing your serves, hitting the ball, everything to do with arms and eventually when the therapist had you on the treadmill walking, jogging, he cleared you to do it with supervision. That was one of the biggest things you’d heard in a while. Art was out in the hall when you’d heard it and you left the doctor mid-sentence just to go tell him, Art surprised at the speed which you approached him at, being used to you only ever walking. “I can jog!” You said, enthusiasm and passion in your eyes and the familiar fire he knew from when you would play tennis with him. 

Your soft hands grabbed his forearms in excitement and Art was a little bit more than aware of it, but the news was amazing. “That’s amazing, that’s crazy, you can jog?” 

“I can jog!” You squealed a little as your mom who was in the room with you swung her head into the hallway. 

“When he said could he didn’t mean away from him, Y/N, get back in here please!” She called, but she wasn’t pulling the full mom card, she was smiling ear to ear just as you were. “And hi Art.” She said, waving to him. Being your main visitors meant they were acquainted. Art went to coffee with your parents while you were in therapy the week prior, he wondered if they had mentioned it. He hadn’t. Art just waved back. 

Soon it was you, Patrick, and Art on the court and your crutches were propped against the bench. You were still a little slow but you’d gotten good at playing where you stood, relying on reach alone and it was quite impressive. You worked on side-stepping instead of lunging and leaning and it helped a lot with having to move around when you needed. It was a lot of laughter but also took a lot of practice and focus to get right. Sometimes you could go for a while, other times not so long, but the rehab had done wonders. This time when you said you were done, Art served the ball and you did lunge for it- both boys afraid, cringing as they watched you rush and lean forward in what seemed like slow motion. But you hit the ball and it flew right at Patrick’s chest and came back into standing position like it was nothing. 

“Oh my god,” You gasped. “I’m so sorry.” Patrick put a hand to his chest but both boys looked at you in wonderment, eyes wide, mouths a little open. To tell the truth they both thought you were done for again as you lunged but you were fine, no complaints, no second thoughts- but a second gasp. You realized the move you’d pulled and the second you realized, both boys started blurting out praise and pride and disbelief and you joined in on it. That was tennis. You’d done everything a tennis player needed to do and it was completed with the simplest lunge. Small victories every day. 

Art was more than proud. Seeing you back on the court was amazing. He’d take you there alone most days when Patrick didn’t feel like it. This particular day you were both a bit disracted, but the reason why was something you both couldn’t place. Art gave up before you today and you both stood by the edge of the bleachers against the metal bar.

You took a sip of your water, “Are we going back out or are we done?” You asked. Art set down his bottle just past you, reaching around. He looked at you and for the moment he had nothing else in his mind but you. Not tennis, not anything, you. 

“You’re incredible, you know that?” He said. You smiled immediately, leaning more against the bar next to you. But it just so happened to be closer to him. And you didn’t mind it, it wasn’t anything new but it was definitely close. Very close. You were close and you were smiling at what he said. He blinked a few times, observing your eyelashes, “Your recovery… I mean. It’s a miracle you’re back here.”

You nodded, that perfect smile on your face. You knew how close you were to him, but you didn’t think much of it. You were more focused on his words. Art was always sweet, you enjoyed that about him. “I’d probably be sitting somewhere with a book on how to coach tennis if you didn’t push me this far. You, you are incredible. I am just grateful.” 

He laughed, “Me? I might have pushed but you snapped the bone in your leg but you’re out here on the court again because you’ve been at it everyday.” He said, sincerity coating every one of his words. “It’s all you.” 

“It’s not all me-”

“With help and support, yes. But if you didn’t want to be here, you wouldn’t be. You want this, getting here to this point was all you.” He swayed just a little closer, not even on his own account just because being close felt right. He wanted you to feel that it was the truth. You looked up at him and he could see his words meant something as your eyes reflected him in the golden light of the early evening. He’d never seen just how gorgeous your eyes are in this light… And you were thinking the very same thing as your lower lip found itself between your teeth.

You and Art shared a thought before stepping back and it was the reminder that you were best friends. Just friends. Good friends. And nothing more. It was the first time it had crossed your mind, but the hundredth time on Art’s. Neither of you would risk it. 

The practice continued carefully. You had rest days. You’d been lunging on both legs at this point and your game was coming back around. You were off at a meeting with the Stanford tennis coach about returning properly in the fall, having the meeting so that you could make some exceptions. Art and Patrick sat in his dorm room, Art upside down on his bed, feet up on the wall, and Patrick in Art’s computer chair, spinning. The conversation had been about what to have for lunch when Patrick sparked something else up. “Are we meeting Y/N after her meeting?” He asked. 

Art tilted his head back, “Not sure. I could call her when it’s over if you want. Why?” 

“What do you mean why?” Patrick said, throwing the hacky sack he was fiddling with at Art’s head, hitting him in the face and chuckling. Art sat up, whipping the bean bag right back at him. “Oh come on-” He groaned. “I know you want to see her.” 

“I saw her earlier,” Art deflected, recognizing Patrick’s tone. 

“Yeah and?” 

“So you want to see her?” 

“Sure.” Patrick shrugged. Art shrugged back, pulling on a sweater, whenever Patrick was over, he turned the AC in the room way up. Wasn’t relevant, but the silence while Art was putting on his sweater was near unbearable. Art had the sweater half over his head when Patrick stuck his leg out and kicked him over. “I know you like her!” 

“Huh?” Art said, sitting up and fixing the sweater. Patrick pushed him right back over. 

“You like her! Y/N!” He said. He couldn’t take it anymore, the obviousness, how clear it was that you two liked each other. It was getting to be sickening. “I know you, I know you like her and you can’t tell me you don’t because I’ve waited this long for you to-” he shoved Art over again when Art came back up laughing- Patrick couldn’t help but laugh too, “-tell me!” 

There was no purpose in a lie. “Yeah, I guess so,” Art admit, bracing himself to be shoved again and instead, punching Patrick right in the stomach as revenge. Patrick sat back in his chair in pain. “But Patrick, she’s my best friend. And your friend. It’s tricky.” 

“I don’t think it’s that tricky, I mean, she likes you too and it’s obvious,” Patrick said through his stomach pain. 

Art laughed again, “She does not. I’m not her type. We’re just friends.” 

“You are entirely her type, her criteria is tall and normal build and that’s exactly you!” He gestured widely to Art. 

“She did not say that to me when I asked. She told me she doesn’t date guys in sports.” 

“She has two football exes, of course she doesn’t date jocks.” 

“She said sports.” 

“She meant jocks.” Patrick straightened out. “She likes you, Art. She pretty much admit it to me, you can’t tell me otherwise.” 

Art just blinked. Patrick wasn’t right- there was no way. He’d had it in his head that he wasn’t even thought of when it came to anything like that with you. But Patrick was usually right, no matter how much Art hated it. “No, she’s-” he groaned, putting his head in his hands and bending to put his head between his knees. “She’s one of my best friends this would fuck everything up.” 

Patrick shook his head, “It would be fine, you-”

Art groaned again, “And I tell her I like her and then what?” He brought his head up again. “She thinks I’ve just been here to fuck her? To get on her good side, to be with her through this just to get to her? I only started liking her, really liking her after the incident but I have no way to prove that! What would she think if all of a sudden I tell her and she actually doesn’t feel the way I do? This is so bad, Patrick.” 

Patrick just laughed at him, but Art was now able to think about these things aloud. So he was loud. “I promise you she likes you. She’s flirting with you all the time, she’s touchy, she cares a lot about you- more than me, I can attest. She wants you. And as for the injury part- Art, it’s been over a fucking year. She’s not going to think you’re playing the long game.” Art just sighed, but Patrick shoved him over again. “Don’t be a pussy!” 

“I’m not a-” he rolled his eyes and shoved Patrick right back, “-pussy. I just- she’s gorgeous and she’s friendly and she’s kind and caring and amazing and I don’t want to risk losing that just because I have some fucking ninth grade crush on her, you know?” 

He nodded back, “But it’s not. I’ve seen you with your ninth grade crush and you were a lot more horny about it. You like her. She likes you. I don’t care if you tell her now, but I don’t want you thinking she doesn’t want you too. She does, it’s painfully obvious. And I’ll admit she’s hot as fuck, so I’d hate to see you miss the opportunity!” Patrick explained, hands wildly gesturing. “Plus the tension is fucking awful to be around, I don’t know how you do it.” 

Neither did he. With it out in the air Art might have gushed a bit about you. Patrick had never seen him this way- he had so much to say about you and he ended up not calling you, just talking about you for what felt like forever to Patrick. But he didn’t mind. 

You continued to get better and better and it was amazing. You felt amazing about your progress. You got up in the morning and your knee only hurt if you hit it off something. And that was normal for most people, so you took pride in it. You hurried over to Art’s dorm in a tank top and shorts, your hair in two braids. It was early morning, you knew that, but you knocked on the door anyway. Art, woken, opened the door and squinted in the light from the hall. He was gorgeous, you thought. His hair wild and messy from bed and his shirt hiked up a little too high from sleep, leaving his waist and mid-line exposed. “Hey.” He said, opening the door for you to come in, fixing his shirt. 

“Hi,” you said, trying not to grin too wide. You couldn’t wait, you couldn’t. “I got cleared for a real game!” You squealed and you covered your mouth. You’d only found out late last night so you decided to wait until morning, but it really couldn’t wait. Art took a deep breath in but before he could say anything you were talking again. “It’s a small game. It’s local, it’s a tiny game but it’s a real one and it’s singles. I thought you’d want to know!”

“I- I do want to know, that’s amazing, oh my god!” He was almost as excited as you without the squealing and bouncing around. You were cute when you were excited. “A game is a game, it’s incredible, it’s- you- I-” He stopped himself. The excitement nearly got the best of him. But you were grinning ear to ear over tennis and that was all he cared about. “When is the game?” 

“It’s next Sunday,” You giggled. “You’ll come?” 

“Is that a question?” 

“Well, yeah,” You said, your hands on his forearms like they usually were when you were passionate. Almost like you were scared the passion would sweep you away if you didn’t hold onto something. He loved it. 

“No, I’ll be there. And on the sidelines if you let me.” 

“You’re absolutely not sitting in the stands again.” You said, chuckling. He grinned. 

And when the day of the game rolled around, your mother braided your hair in two french braids for you. She had ironed your entire outfit, even your socks. It was her nerves. But the most nervous one in the room at all times was you. You couldn’t eat, you had a hard time falling asleep, but you got up in the morning refreshed and heart pounding at the impending game. It meant a lot of action but you’d worked for this. It was a small local game at a local court with a few bleachers. It was hardly anything, you reminded yourself. This was your second chance just beginning. You slipped on your dark purple skort and your purple tank top and you made sure you had your lucky racket this time. 

Your mom drove you to the court much earlier than needed because you were so on edge and you sat in the hall between changerooms under the bleachers, just doing your breathing to maintain yourself. You were more than glad when Patrick and Art showed up. They didn’t ask if you were ready, they knew it. They just asked where you wanted to go for lunch after the game and debated over if a hot dog counted as a sandwich until your Stanford coach walked in. 

“You’re ready?” She asked, grin on her face. You blinked. 

“What are you…” This was a local game, not Stanford. You looked at Art and Patrick who were bad at hiding their smiles. 

Your coach nodded, “You’ve got this one.” She said. “Now hop to it, they’re waiting.” You looked back at Art and Patrick and they ushered you toward the door. It sounded a bit like a badly-engineered fan at first, going down the hall. Your stomach was already in knots. 

They came completely undone as your coach opened the door and the roar of the crowd was near-deafening. You blinked in the daylight, half-shocked by how loud it was before you realized that it was the sound of people. And as your eyes adjusted, you realized that the tennis court bleachers were absolutely packed full of people and they were loud, cheering. It was a local game, you expected families of the players but no, there must have been hundreds of people in the stands. On the side with no stands there were people lining the fences and you could see people beyond people. You turned, taking it all in as they were calling your name, calling your praise. You covered your mouth seeing your peers from Stanford in the front row, including the girl who had been hitting on Art. You recognized all of them and more. 

You looked at Art and Patrick who were behind you, unable to control their grins at this point and elbowing each other just a bit. Art was only looking at you. You felt so overwhelmed with gratitude, it rose in your stomach like the drop of a rollercoaster. “How did this- How- there’s so many,” You managed to say. 

Patrick beamed, dimples on display, “They’re here for you, if you couldn’t tell.” 

Art tugged one of your braids. “Patrick and I might have… posted about it on facebook. But it wasn’t an invite, just the general information of what had happened and that this was your first real game, so technically it was all you.” He smirked, but it couldn’t stay a smirk, just a really big smile. It matched yours. 

“It was not me,” You sighed exasperated, but more than happy. Scared. But happy. 

“If you didn’t want to be here, you wouldn’t be,” He repeated to you. His thumb grazed your cheek when he let go of your braid. You wanted to hug him, you wanted to jump for joy and scream your head off at how amazing this all was. But you got called to serve. 

The screams didn’t die down for any part of the game. You served and the game began and the girl across from you did not feel bad for you and that was clear. She was harsh and hardcore and violent with her swings but you hit almost all of them right back at her at a force and accuracy she couldn’t handle. Art and Patrick on the sidelines were into the game, cheering, calling out remarks on your moves. The moves they’d helped you get back. You were more than grateful with every point you scored. The crowd cheered for both you and your opponent but it was your name you heard screamed out in the crowd. 

It got a bit intense at times, you fell behind for a while but came back, then went back down again, then came back up. The halfway point you spent thanking your best friends profusely while they urged you to rest and have water. You got back on the court after that, swinging, hitting, forehand, backhand, pulling a few moves that required the use of the leg you’d broken and though the crowd held their breath, they were more than impressed. Patrick watched Art stop cheering and clapping for a second, noting the way he was so honed in on you, Patrick was sure a bomb could go off behind Art and he wouldn’t notice. Art was proud, that was what he felt. Proud to know you, proud to be your friend, proud to feel the way he did about you because he knew that you were amazing and resilient and so fucking strong. He had never met anyone like you. 

You locked eyes with him before your opponent served and he swore he felt something shift, really shift. When this game ended he had to tell you how he felt. He couldn’t go without it, he had to tell you. 

The last quarter got increasingly more intense. You fell once at a move that required the leg you’d broken. The crowd gasped and Art lunged to help you up but you did it yourself. And you got right back up. The fall hurt, but no more than it would have a regular person. That was something that drove your confidence way up. You couldn’t even hear the score anymore. You just knew that you were there and you were playing and you couldn’t have been happier, even if you lost. But the buzzer went off and the game was done and it was almost like you went deaf. The cheers stopped, though they really didn’t, in fact they roared louder than ever before and the crowd launched itself into standing, their hands over their heads, mouths open wide absolutely wild. 

You knew you’d won. But it wasn’t that important. You had one thought- find Art. 

And he wasn’t hard to find. He was there on the sidelines or rather one of the many people who surrounded you when you won. Your other friends, your parents, your coach, Patrick, the staff of the game, and apparently a few nurses who came to see their patient play. But it was Art you reached for. You grabbed his forearms, bracing yourself, your eyebrows furrowing, “I won?” You questioned over the noise, over the hands that congratulated you. 

 Art, biggest grin on his face, “You won.” He answered. And he didn’t have a second to himself before you reached up, cupping his face and kissing him hard. There was nothing else to do in the presence of the win but kiss him. And he kissed you back just as hard. It felt like all the noise and all of the world was sucked away for a moment when his hands fell on your waist, pulling you closer. 

It was a small game with big victories. 

The kiss only lasted a few seconds but it was strong, and the feeling of him lingered on your lips when you parted. Nobody was surprised that you kissed. Not your mom, not the nurses, they’d known. You looked at Art and tried not to smile but it was over the second he grinned. You couldn’t help but grin right back as Patrick came in for a crushing hug. 

“That was fucking incredible!” He told you. Your cheeks began to hurt from smiling as you hugged everyone over your win. Thing eventually died down after a while, people happily funnelling out, congratulating you. But at the end of things it was just you and Art. Patrick had headed out to bring the car around. 

You twisted your mouth to the side, “I can’t believe how many people turned up.” You sighed, content. 

“You have that pull.” Art shrugged. “You are probably my biggest tennis inspiration now.”

“Mhm? You want to be me when you grow up?” You teased, stepping closer. Art smirked, but once again he couldn’t maintain it, he just smiled down at you. “I’m your biggest inspiration…”

He wasn’t afraid to put his arms around your waist. “Maybe, maybe not. But you are amazing. And so fucking good at tennis, I’m scared for your real comeback.” He said. You laughed and it was gorgeous. The front part of your braid fell out and around your face. “You’re going to kick my ass.” 

Your smile was brighter than the mid-day sun. “You bet.” 

Your heart fluttered when he tucked your hair behind your ear again. You both heard the car horn as Patrick beeped from outside the court. “Can I kiss you?” Art asked, pushing your hair behind your ear. You nodded. And this time it was his hand on your jaw, his lips pressing against yours with all of his feeling. It was a kiss untouched by the rush of adrenaline and it was sweet. And it was slow. His lips grazing over yours between kisses, his breath minty from the gum he had just spit out two minutes ago. He held you close and the kiss was full of words yet to be said. You both couldn’t ignore anything anymore. It had been a long time coming. Patrick honked again, but it took you another second before you both pulled away with small smiles. Your hands gently holding his forearms, bracing yourself. 

[angstober]

Welcome to another year of Angstober! We're delighted to unveil the prompts for this year of angsty, spooky fun.

What is Angstober?

Angstober is a yearly October challenge with 31 angst-themed prompts to inspire you to create. The challenge is open to all sorts of creative work - writing, art, edits, whatever you want - in whatever medium you want. Original work or fanworks? Whatever you feel inspired for!

How do I take part?

Tag your works with #angstober2024 and the day of the prompt (e.g., #day 01) to share on tumblr. Feel free to @ us directly in the post as well! To share your work on AO3, add it to the Angstober 2024 collection.

You can post your works whenever - early or late - and use as many or as few prompts as you feel inspired for! We'll do our best to reblog as many works to the @angstober blog as we can.

Is there a banner to post my work with?

Absolutely!

Anything else?

Nope. Happy Angsting!

2024 Prompt List

Again

2. Countdown

3. Self-Destruction

4. Blood

5. Do Better

6. Medication

7. “You Still Don’t Get It.”

8. Growing Pains

9. Promise

10. Humiliation

11. Wake Up

12. Rotten Touch

13. Shaking

14. Only Around You

15. False Hope

16. No One Else To Turn To

17. “Shhh…”

18. Falling Stars

19. Tear-Stained Cheek

20. Spare Me

21. Abandoned

22. Crocodile Tears

23. Safe/Unsafe

24. Dark Sunrise

25. You’re No Better

26. Persuasion

27. Curled Up

28. Perfect

29. Get Out

30. Nothing Else To Tell You

31. It Ends Here

[amymbona]

i need angst so !! thinking about patrick with an introverted, shy, kinda closed off reader who sometimes needs to just be by herself and isolates and ghosts the people around her because she gets overwhelmed. and of course patrick gets mad because he doesn't get it and he confronts her about it and they get in a huge argument idk. i feel like she's a lot like a female version of art and she gest sneaky and mean when she's angry so i just imagine patrick seeing this part of her for the first time and they end up saying the worst things to each other

thank you <33

Patrick angst Zweig <3

I think that, as much as Patrick tries to be a good guy, he's just really oblivious and fails to notice important stuff. It doesn't mean that he doesn't care - no no no - but he's simply kinda stupid. And unfortunately, he's having issues with figuring out certain social cues.

So when your responses are dry, only sending simple yes and no to his messages, Patrick gets really pissed. What exactly is the issue - do you suddenly hate him? Has he done something so terrible that offended you and you weren't even able to talk to him about it? Or is it the harsh truth that you don't want to be friends with him anymore? While you're (somewhat) peacefully asleep, hoping to get past your anxiety in that way, Patrick spends hours pacing around his room, literal steam shooting from his ears.

And then he storms into your dorm in the middle of the night - because Patrick Zweig doesn't understand the concept of time and because Patrick Zweig doesn't care if somebody wants to get rest and mainly because Patrick Zweig doesn't like waiting - so you're forced to listen to him rant, half asleep, in your pyjamas.

"I don't understand it, I just - did I do something? - or what is it? Why won't you just tell me?"

"Patrick, just go to your place. We'll talk in the morning," you beg him with a sleepy voice, eyes closing.

He stomps towards your bed, hands on his hips, staring down at your tired frame, "Why? Why won't you just talk to me? You've been ignorin' me since the start of the week. What the hell's your issue?"

"Just go," you plead once again, genuinely not in the mood for any of it.

"Don't tell me to go - goddamn - don't sleep now! Just talk to me, for fuck's sake," Patrick is still pushing his luck, unable to respect your wishes. He is determined to get this answer. And unfortunately, that pushes you over the edge.

"Why do you have to be so pushy all the time? Oh my god, just leave me alone - why don't you get it? I'm not texting you cause I wanna be alone!"

He's dumbfounded, totally.

"What the hell, Y/N?"

But you're having none of it, sadly, too upset about this whole treatment, about Patrick constantly chasing you, glued to your back, not allowing you a single moment for yourself. You love him, but you need to be alone as well, "You're after me all the time - do you have an idea how frusttating that is? I can't be with you all the time, Pat. I'm not a robot, I need some time for myself too!"

And you know Patrick is quite an emotional guy, dependent too. He requires constant reassurance and presence of his loved ones - so much, that he's blind to all the hints of discomfort, unable to understand the world doesn't revolve around him.

"Oh," he nods, stepping away from your bed slowly, "Okay."

Like a harsh shake, the realisation that you have unintentionally hurt his feelings wakes you up. But you couldn't hold it back, you just couldn't, when you were so overwhelmed, "Wait, Patrick-"

"No no no," he cuts you off, "Good night."

And then you're left alone. But suddenly, you don't want to be alone. You want Patrick to come back, to be here, lay next to you and talk your ear off. To rant and rant and rant until you're asleep, unaware of anything he's saying, but snuggled closely to his side. Hurriedly, you pick up your phone and text him.

Y/N: pat [0:28 am]

Y/N: sorry [0:28 am]

Y/N: i'm sorry [0:28 am]

Y/N: come baxk [0:28 am]

Y/N: please [0:29 am]

Y/N: sorry [0:29 am]

Y/N: :( [0:29 am]

[seen by Patrick Zweig]