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look at this dork peeking through my windows
#it's like hes mad im not paying attention to him#its my wallpaper btw#a moving one#not now kitten mommy's doing homework#ive been DYING WITH ASSIGNMENTS so i havent been able to breathe#lord hELP ME#i need to rush this until 2 feb than i'll be able to gasp for air#bcuz right after that i have 3 more assignments to finish lordddddddddddddddd#happy near year nAUR SAD NEW YEAR LMAO#gummmyspeaks#gomz whining about uni
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I love love love your hs vashwood au!!!!! The boys looks so soft!!!!!
AW THANK YOU SO MUCH, it makes me happy to know that you do!! they are soft and so so awkward and silly... here is them studying together

#asks#thank u for sending this!!!#ww is helping him with Literature. or english or language arts - whichever you call it. he did not read the assigned chapters for hw#imo ww is pretty ok with all subjects while vash mainly pays attention during science + history classes
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wanna say that im the best in my bloodline but then i remember i have an elder brother who was straight up born as a walking prodigy
#tfym he has like 57 certificates#in piano???#bros beethoven's child#bros so good in his uni#that the teachers give him the simplest thing to play#cuz he already mastered every other instruments#people find bro n pay him to help in their assignments 😭#people from overseas also hire him to play the keys for vvip events??#bros fate is insane#im not even glazing bro these r like#hardcore truths#then i look at myself n sigh#where did i went wrong in life#brother in the light x sister in the shadow trope#﹙🦇 .𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝐛𝐥𝐞𝖘𝖘𝐞𝐝﹚
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Didn't add a generative AI statement to my syllabus because I thought "none of my assignments play to those tools' strengths, using AI wouldn't work and would be really obvious" but lo and behold the students are using it anyway. It's not working and it's really obvious.
#writing feedback to a student like hey. you submitted a list of citations published in the future. how did that happen#like guys. you are PAYING for this class. all I want is to help you practice the skills#I would not even assign grades if I didn't have to#posting an announcement going I'm not going to punish you for these tools bc I didn't forbid it#but I WILL take points off if you keep submitting sources that don't exist#at least check your work
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love when this is referred to as the gifted kid website. shockingly my mental disorders made me mentally disordered and school never really vibed with that so. couldn’t be me
#ppl always talking about their whatever grade reading level and how many books they’d read as kids and im just over here like🧍🏽#I’ve never been actually bad at english or reading but I couldn’t focus on reading books to save my fucking life#I hated those sheets where you had to read like a certain number of books or whatever over the course of a semester or the year or whatever#my GATE test scores for english were super high but my math was bad enough that I never qualified#and adhd made me not even perform well in English half the time because I couldn’t pay attention I couldn’t read long books I couldn’t turn#in my assignments or if I did they were late and etc etc etc#don’t get me started with math#I was the worst in my class in third grade at minute math and never made it to the levels of minute math my classmates did#(they posted results on the wall for everyone to see)#and in 6th grade I was put into an additional remedial math class#throughout middle-high school I was at the level of most classmates in terms of the classes I took but that’s only because I was not allowe#to fail and was put through absolute fucking hell with a billion tutors and grueling hours of extra work from them and blah blah blah#like I remember how I felt in those tutoring sessions and half the time I actually wanted to cry.#I didn’t start doing solidly genuinely Good in school until senior year of high school.#not coincidentally around the same time I started taking adderall I think#I had accommodations by 9th grade but they didn’t do that much except for the function that let me turn in assignments up to 2 days late#without penalty. which i had teachers question sometimes and i had to pull the Yeah it’s Literally Against The Law to not allow me this car#anyway. point is. i was never in the gate program and most of my friends were and it was mostly adhd related#adhd is considered such a quirky nothing disorder nowadays that I don’t even like mentioning I have it really. because what people think of#when I say the term is Not what i actually dealt with and made school torturous and made my parents lash out at me for things and etc etc#depression and dysphoria did not help either. but I digress#I’m not sure why im making this post#kibumblabs
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Okay I did get distracted by a grade being posted and I am about to be both a nerd and a millennial but god ngl I do hate classes where you get full points on all your assignments but don't actually get any actual feedback on them. What is the point. If it's a class where everyone gets passing grades for making the effort but you get actual feedback and comments, that's great! But I would genuinely rather get points docked and get extensive comments on what I did well and what needed improvement and why than this.
#what is the POINT#like at that point it feels like busy work frankly! it doesn't feel like anyone's worrying about whether or not I learned something!#and like I can self reflect on my own learning. I'm good at that. that's fine. but a) not everyone can#and b) it REALLY does not help the perception that a degree is something you pay for but don't actually need to learn anything to get#which is a MASSIVE problem rn. there's no actual value placed on LEARNING THINGS.#like I know for a FACT that I have turned in B+ average assignments at best in this class.#just cuz I only have finite time and I gotta stay sane and it's not an area I'm going to go any further than surface level in.#the overview is good and important! but the work I'm doing is reflective of my investment and frankly it should've earned a B+ at most.#like at least if you're docking a point and telling me what for I know you READ the damn thing. christ alive.#you may ask yourself 'oh my god why are you like this' and the answer is. have you looked at my blog.#anyway. okay nOW I'm going to bed.
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the thing about anxiety is that sometimes you will wake up in the middle of the night for seemingly no reason. and the thing about having The Condition That Makes Your Body Hurt Because Your Joints Go Too Far And Sublux When You Lay Down Funny So It's Hard To Find A Position That's Comfortable For A Long Time Syndrome is that sometimes you can't go back to sleep because your body hurts real bad
#also i had a panic attack for the first time in like months last tuesday#during my chem 2 lab!!!!#i had to step out and call my lover so he could help me chill out (it worked!)#but i told my professor that i had to leave for the day bc i just had a panic attack and i was like heyyy#hiiii ahah. sooo my hands are shaking#and it is for that reason that i believe i should not be handling phosphoric acid!#and she was like oh. yeah that's the last thing i'd want#she's also really sweet and we've been talking about like. accommodations for me bc i've been finding it#really hard to stand up in one spot for a long time (because of aforementioned condition symptoms syndrome)#and sometimes i start feeling faint like i'm gonna pass out#(these things have been true my whole life but i've only just started actually paying attention to them)#and she offered to assign me to lab stations that are near her desk so that if i start looking like im gonna pass out#she can get a chair under me#really really sweet i like her a lot
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Store managers said even a few minutes overtime will be a write up
I'm calling bullshit
#i work in a fucking deli you think im getting everything i need cleaned in exactly 2 hours?#on a slow day yes bc guess what im not helping customers til 8#but on days like today where we have a sale? and are pretty busy??? fuck no#and! itd be so much easier if we could shut things down even just slightly early (even 30 min could help)#but nooooooo#wednesday when i close imma shut down one of the slicers at like fuckin. 5. (start earlier) cause thats what slows me down#after 8 when i gotta sharpen then clean them all on top of putting food away. collecting dishes. wiping down counters and scales#wiping glass. the wing bar. the whole bird case. sweep. spray the floor. scrub it. then push all the water into drains#or idk do very quick cleanings of the slicers. SOMETHING to speed it up by 8#if i somehow do get a write up im gonna call up my union rep and see if a literal few minutes overtime to finish cleaning is fine#bc its either a few minutes overtime or some shit don't get done (like my cook today didnt get to do her floors cause she was#cooking until 7 and it takes a while to clean the fryers on top of all the other dishes. machines. counters and WALLS. and the back floors!)#my coworkers have claimed the union does jack shit and maybe thats true. or. there is a chance they just werent fucking annoying about stuff#cause like. i get it the store doesnt wanna pay overtime. then it should give enough time for us to PROPERLY do our job#otherwise itll be half-assed and people will get written up for THAT instead#and id get it if theyre annoyed if youre like. 20+ minutes overtime#but fucking 5 minutes? or even just 1 (as manager warned/threatened)???? if i do get overtime for those minutes i guarantee its barely#anything considering i get paid 15.50 an hour#anyways. im pissed off. and skipping asl tomorrow even if i risk the administrative drop#im skipping the day of that deadline but my grades are decent (a B that I can turn to an A so long as I don't miss more assignments)#so im not too worried. if my professor asks i will say i was incredibly sore (true. my arm/shoulders/back/legs/feet hate me rn)#as well as exhausted (also true. i got home at 10:30 its currently 11 and im wound up so i definitely wont be getting to sleep for a while#and i dont fancy trying to do asl on like. 5 or less hours of sleep with a sleep-and-magnesium (i forgot to take the vitamin) deprived brain#anywho hope yall have a better night 👍#amber's shit you can ignore
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i hate when i start writing FANFIC because i dont think im BAD yet im so scared LAWL
#!wawawa#its like okay. I can write and i can read over it and like. Not cringe.#so WHY have i not been doing it#:|#it is a little jarring though i guess redoing english 1020 for the 3rd time is paying off#im just getting practice. i get As on almost every assignment ive turned in for an english class#but doing them hard.... but i GUESS having to write sooo many atp has helped lol#ntm honing my critical eye i guess
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Chat how do I make this university solavellan fic not be professor/student coded bc I VERY MUCH SO want to avoid that
#solas isn’t her professor#but he is a researcher and a scribe in one of her classes#I like the idea of him maybe subbing or being a guest lecturer but is that weird?#it’s not weird if he doesn’t assign grades right? like where is the line here? what should I avoid other than the obvious?#like I like the idea but I can see how it could be icky? should I scrap that? what’s the vibe out there in the tumblr void for this?#I also want her to somehow end up working with him in his research#I was thinking of having her threaten a student and having to help him as punishment#this is not preferred by either Lavellan or Solas#he doesn’t want her help and she doesn’t want to help him either#but the chancellor (Dean) said it so they’ve gotta deal with it#and he again doesn’t pay her or give her grades for this assistance either#should I run with that idea or go a different route?
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ai isn't as environmentally bad as some think. i also don't care if it violates copyright because copyright don't real. i still hate ai tho because it fucking sucks </3
#how does it already feel overdone and boomer shit#we're like 2 years into it being mainstream#if you log in on any major website or social media rn some fuckin bot is gonna be like#Hi! I'm quatro. Let me know what topics yr interested in :) I can also help you search!#and every piece of ai 'art' is slop in the same tired style#i'm also not one of those people who has a superiority complex about it tho#CRAZY STATEMENT IK.. my npd knows One bound#i'm not like well EYE never used chat gpt because i'm BETTER THAN YOU#i don't think there's a moral calling to do yr dumbfuck english assignments or whatever#you just couldn't pay me to give a shit about ai yk#there's no moral reason to how much i hate it it's just that most genai things are painfully boring agonizing slop or grifter shit#because everyone who has a genai Side Hustle is the slimiest most unpleasant person you know
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blame my Catholic Upbringing™ or whatever but I need a therapist whose room is pitch black and we both sit facing a wall the entire session
#my therapist is getting married and i need to find a new one and she asked me what I'm looking for in a new therapist#i was assigned her randomly and it happened to work out well#but like (again you can blame it on the catholicism™ if you want) i cannot articulate what i want without overwhelming shame guilt and fear#and this is someone who i am literally paying to help me!!!!#ahhhhhh#it's not even that deep everyone has preferences in a therapist but like mine are uniquely bad and wrong and i should feel bad about it
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WHERE has vyvanse been all my life I actually feel like a human being
#i've been on it for 2 months now and we've figured out the right dose for me and it's amazing#i'm happy it works for me but omg am i angry that i didn't figure out i was adhd sooner#thinking about how stressful school was for me as a kid and how much i bulshitted all my assignments just because i was good academically#how much i would avoid doing homework or paying attention in class because i knew that i could just do everything last minute#and still get a b#but if i had gotten the help i needed?#i could have actually cared and not procrastinated and actually be mentally present in class#i could have gotten such high marks#i could have been an honours student#no use thinking of what ifs#what matters is now and i'm very happy that i'm being helped now#my posts
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