#people actually know how to refer to me but on the other...hm! it's just interesting. IDK.

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

It's so interesting to react to being referred to by a screen-name.

[greenfiend]

The Significance of Lover’s Lake and Byler (Theory)

'Cause we're lovers, and that is a fact

Yes we're lovers, and that is that (Heroes by David Bowie)

Part 2 here

(Warning: This post has mentions of sex (nothing graphic)… if you’re uncomfortable with that please do not proceed.)

So, Lover’s Lake has existed within the show ever since season 2, when Will mapped out the entirety of Hawkins. The lake is shaped like a heart (keep this in mind for later) thus the name “Lover’s Lake”. Makes sense within the town of Hawkins, but does not provide an explanation on a subtextual level. None of the “lovers” existing within the show has been associated with the lake (you could say Steve/Nancy but honestly it’s a stretch since they never actually rekindled their romance.)

This leads me to the question… why call the lake “Lover’s Lake” without associating any lovers to it?

Because maybe, there will be lovers connected to it… but they aren’t lovers… yet.

Okay, let’s get back to the shape. A heart. ❤️ Hm. Now which character within the show is most associated with hearts? Which character is even referred to as the heart by their love interest?

Mike.

I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that he’s one part of the “lovers” here. Thus ruling out many other romantic pairings within the show. Leaving only two pairings: Mike/El and Mike/Will. I won’t go into detail on why I believe Mike and El will inevitably break up, you can read a lot of different analyses for that. So that leaves… Mike/Will. Not lovers yet.

Okay, here’s the part where I may get crucified. The definition of lovers.

Please put your pitch forks down for this.

Lovers usually refers to two people in a sexual relationship outside of marriage.

With all the subtext (and actual text) around sex and sexuality, and how we see Will struggle with his own sexuality, there is a likely conclusion here. He’s going to confront his sexuality. To do so, he will have sex. With whom? Well, with the one person he loves the most, the one he affectionately refers to as the heart… his best friend… Mike.

Now, where’s this going to happen? What better location than somewhere empty and secluded.

Reefer Rick’s lakeside house.

Now, who is “Reefer Rick”?

Also known as, Rick Lipton, Reefer Rick is a drug dealer who’s closely acquainted with Eddie.

He’s an enigma. We never see him. All that is known about him are the things mentioned by other characters.

He’s currently in jail apparently for dealing drugs. Also, he seems like a town pariah.

Also, he isn’t too keen on Fast Times (returned on time), at least not as much as “Cheech and Chong” (returned late each time.) That shot at 53 minutes and 5 seconds in Fast Times doesn’t do it for him, I guess. Unlike watching two guys get high.

His name choice is an interesting one.

“Reefer” Rick Lipton.

“Reefer” is a synonym for “marijuana cigarette”. Okay, makes sense, he is a drug dealer after all. But why the term “cigarette”? Well… there’s this other word that also happens to be a synonym for “cigarette”…

Then Rick… short for “Richard”. Richard is one of the few names out there with a nickname that is also slang for male genitalia… “Dick”.

Then finally… Lipton.

As Robin says, spelled like Lipton tea. Now, why would the writers use the name “Lipton” and even reference the tea company if there were no significance to it? They wouldn’t. We know this about them.

So why “Lipton”?

Let’s do a bit of research here, shall we?

The founder of Lipton tea was a man named Thomas Lipton.

Thomas Lipton just so happens to have been a closeted homosexual man who had a long term relationship with another man whose name is… *drumroll please*

William Love.

Okay, that can’t be just a coincidence right?

So moving on to Reefer Rick’s house.

We see glimpses of his living room, kitchen, and briefly his bedroom.

Jason and his buds are searching for Eddie and this involves looking under the mattress? As if, Eddie could successfully hide under there? Haha okay sure.

The angle of this shot is interesting too, because the bed is essentially being shown off to us.

This bed with a blue blanket and yellow sheets. Hm. Interesting.

Keep in mind this scene is essentially unnecessary. They could have easily shown Jason et al searching for Eddie without creating an entire new set for a room that’s only used in one single insignificant shot. Therefore, I do not think it’s unreasonable to believe this is used for foreshadowing.

Then we also get this shot from outside the window into the bedroom.

Look familiar? I thought so too.

Okay. Now for my theory/prediction.

As I mentioned earlier, Will is currently struggling with his own sexuality and feels a lot of shame and internalized homophobia. There’s also a lot of evidence that Mike is experiencing the same thing. Unlike Will, Mike conforms to the society’s expectations. He dates El, performing as her boyfriend. This is comparable to Nancy’s arc in season 1. She also conforms, and like Mike, leaves her best friend behind. We all know how that ended.

Now, what better way to wrap up the show than to have Mike correct his sister’s mistake? To have Mike reject societal expectations in favour of his best friend?

Okay so this is my theory.

Mike and Will have their first kiss an episode or two prior to 5x07. Tensions are high, but they’re busy fighting interdimentional monsters along side their friends.

Then comes 5x07 which somehow leaves Mike and Will alone by Lover’s Lake. The tension between them reaches an all time high, leading to a passionate kiss and then… more. Let’s just say it involves that blue and yellow bed.

At the same time as these two become the lovers they were meant to be, another character is being saved, or perhaps being brought back to life. Perhaps another red head, one we all know and love. Yes, a major parallel and contrast to Steve/Nancy’s sex scene in season 1, which featured Barb dying. But because Mike is rejecting conformity and being authentic, another character lives instead.

I mean, what better way to represent the beauty of the love and intimacy between these two boys? Their love is literally bringing back life to the world.

So yeah, basically I’m saying that Mike and Will expressing their love for each other will save Max.

This also wouldn’t be the first time that Max’s survival is correlated with their relationship. As I doubt that it was merely a coincidence that in episode 4x04 we have Mike’s genuine monologue to Will, then we have Max surviving Vecna. In contrast to 4x09, which features a forced monologue from Mike to El, followed by Max losing to Vecna and barely surviving.

So, as their bond strengthens, Max’s life bar goes up (so to speak). If something interferes with their bond, Max’s outcome is more dire.

The writers have also been associating Mike/El with death…

[Tumblr only allows a limited number of images so pretend we have one of El holding dead flowers and another image of the cut scene from 3x05 with Mike/El having a moment cutting to a dead body on the hospital floor]

Mike/Will on the other hand have been associated with life. The birds chirping in the background of their final scene together, the flowers blooming between them as they stand together. Plus, blue plus yellow does equal green after all. Which is the most commonly associated colour with life.

🌿🌱🌳

To conclude, I just want to say that I personally think this would be a nice way to end their arc. I know a lot of people are uncomfortable with associating Mike/Will with anything sexual… but the show has been doing this already. Whether you like it or not, Mike and Will have been shown implicitly and explicitly that they desire each other both romantically and sexually. The fact that they have sexual desire for each other does not minimize or trivialize their friendship and love, it’s an aspect of it… adding another dimension to their relationship.

Do I think or hope they would show anything pornographic? Absolutely not (do I even have to say this?) But explicit like Steve/Nancy? Yes. Do I think they’ll be only 14/15 years old when this occurs? No. This will likely happen after a time jump.

Being authentically yourself and not conforming is overall a major theme of the show. I mean it’s called Stranger Things after all. Will people be upset by the ending of this arc? Bylers included? Absolutely. Many people within the town of Hawkins and people watching the show will both show disgust for it. But that’s the point. It’s not “normal” and that’s okay. Different is good, and can be a beautiful and wonderful thing. We all just need to open our minds and hearts a bit. I’m not just talking about the GA; many Bylers are also closed minded and stuck in their ways too. Let’s all try to work on that, shall we?

Despite the opinions of others, Will and Mike will choose to love each other which will inevitably lead to their defeat of Vecna. Love concurs all. It may be cheesy and cliche but personally? I think that’s a beautiful thing. We all can learn to love more.

Anyway, would love to know your thoughts on this.

Then we could be Heroes, just for one day

Part 2 here

[kiame-sama]

Drag Me to Hell- (Yandere!Alastor x Chubby!Reader) 3.5

Warnings; Mention of suicide, Alastor has questions, talk of sexuality, fem pronouned reader, more rules of the deal,

(thought about making it NSFW, but didn't know if anyone would feel so inclined to read it or not)

~~~~~~~~

You were in the room you and Alastor shared in the Hazbin Hotel. He was seated by his dinner- a rotting deer carcass- and enjoying his feast before the battle sure to come from heaven and the exorcists in what seemed like only hours from then. Your joint visit back to cannibal Town and to Rosie with Charlie was a fruitful one and you did always like seeing Rosie.

"So, my Darling, you seemed amused by Rosie's comment earlier to me and even agreed with her on it. This means you understand it and would certainly not mind explaining it to me, right?"

Alastor loved to phrase his orders like questions as if you ever had the choice to not answer him truthfully. Due to your deal you couldn't lie to Alastor without him knowing, so the few times you chose to bend the truth had to be well worded and done with great mental effort. This wasn't worth that mental effort.

"Miss Rosie called you an 'Ace in the hole' meaning she believes you are asexual."

"I have a sex, Doe. I am male."

"Not your physical sex, it means you don't experience sexual attraction. You're not driven by carnal desire like others are. You don't feel that libido driven need based on appearance or outward characteristics. Pretty sure it means you don't have much of a libido at all."

"Well, I am not greatly interested in the pleasures of the flesh, that is true. But asexual appears to be in reference to one being without sex, I believe my experimentation earlier with you is a testament against that notion."

You felt the vague desire to chuckle, knowing Alastor was rather forward when it came to you so long as the two of you were behind closed doors.

"Just because you have had sex doesn't mean you aren't asexual, Alastor. Plenty of people who are ace have sex and are still ace, they just don't experience the drive to keep having sex or the libido others experience regardless of if they choose to do it again or not."

"Hm. So what is your sexuality then, my Dear?"

You paused for a moment, looking over at him from where you sat on your shared bed. It was true that Alastor had approached you regarding sex before, but every time he was driven by curiosity and not by genuine sexual desire. He was a curious sort and thus he sought to answer the questions he had however he felt comfortable doing. Part of you was sure he was aromantic as well and he only had whatever it was with you because of his desire to act how he thought he should act.

"I... Don't know, actually. You know that I died by... by my own hand. I never really got around to figuring that out."

"What would your interactions with me make you?"

"Straight. Or, wait, actually I think it makes me Demi."

"Demi?"

"Demisexual. Not really based on the male female binary but more like someone who is ace but begins feeling that sexual attraction after connecting with that other person on a mental and emotional level first. Not a primary sexual attraction based on appearance or observable characteristics, but one based off of emotional and mental connection."

"And I will be your only, understood?"

"I know, Alastor. We still have our deal and I don't intend to try to break it any time soon. Besides, what's a good radio host supposed to do without his microphone?"

[sesshous]

random dating hcs ᰔ mona, alhaitham, gaming

genre: fluff (no prns)

a/n: dating headcanons... drabbles... blurbs (not rly sure what to call these) also mona in the new cat event!! i love mona, she was the first five star i ever wanted and the first one i ever got, so i'm happy she's at least getting some more screentime haha ♡

mona

mona isn’t the most… responsible with her money. while she does have money set aside, the vast majority of her income goes to her life’s interest: astrology. but even with her lack of money, mona still wants to do things with you! … just without a hefty price tag.

mona loves to stargaze — befitting of an astrologist. she loves taking you around different heights of mondstadt! mona knows all the best spots that have a good view of the night sky — pointing out all the constellations, rambling on to you about what they mean… she’ll even make some copies of her own star charts to give you for future reference.

not really a known fact about her, but mona is actually a pretty decent cook! she'd want to prepare you a filling (and cheap), but very delicious meal rather than go out to eat. sometimes, she’ll end up lecturing you on market prices and ways you can prepare meals for a low cost — she wouldn’t want you buying overpriced ingredients when you can get just as good ones for a cheaper price!

and yes, if you ask her nicely she can create and show you reflections other than constellations with her hydromancy… just for you though. she wouldn’t want people to think her hydromancy is all just for show.

(brownie points if you share the same interest in astrology. you’re basically a match at that point.)

“hm? of course, i knew we were destined to be together — the stars never lie.”

gaming

the absolute sweetest! with how much he talks about you, people of liyue have to be living under a rock if they don’t know the two of you are together.

no has no shame with pda gaming will want to hold your hand everywhere you go. or have his arm around you. or hug you — he literally never gets embarrassed about giving you affection! he’s very into physical touch, he finds it’s comforting. i’d like to think he’s warm to the touch too — with or without the pyro vision. great cuddling material for cold days! (… hot ones too — you just have to wear breathable clothes so you don’t overheat.)

you don’t have to be into it as much as he is, but gaming would definitely want to teach you the basics of wushou dancing! he’s always there to help show and guide you through the movements — he likes to think he’s a pretty good teacher! he'll joke about putting on a duo performance… just a joke of course, haha… unless—?

oh, and man chai loves you! i like to think man chai acts more well behaved for you than he does with gaming, (he blames it on all the treats you give him) but he’s so glad you too get along! … even if man chai does steal take more of your attention when you’re together...

“y’know, i'm starting to think man chai likes you way more than he likes me! … but it's you, so i don’t blame him though, haha!”

alhaitham

alhaitham as quite the reputation for being… unapproachable to say the least. to people, his words and gaze seems judgemental, so how could someone stand to be around someone like that? lucky for you, you're able see past what those people seemingly think of him!

the books alhaitham reads aren’t made for the average’s person leisurely reading — their complex and lengthy — but alhaitham feels a kind of… fondness when you ask him to read out loud whatever book he's currently reading to you! …even if you do end up becoming a bit sleepy due to the content of the book (he thinks it’s cute. will he say that to you? … maybe teasingly.) he also will read and take book suggestions from you if you have any for him! he doesn’t just read non-fiction (and if it’s from you, really he’s open to anything. anything.)

because of alhaitham’s day consisting pretty much on a schedule, he finds himself finding ways to incorporate you into it with his free time. he prefers to spend time with you in more quiet and secluded places around sumeru away from people, but i actually feel like he wouldn’t be opposed to dates in public! going to the likes of places such as the grand bazaar to see what people are selling or watching performances that are put on in the theatre (though most of the time it’s you dragging him out… he does find it entertaining to see your face light up at all of the sights)

on some occasions, he’ll bring you along with him when he’s invited out for drinks with cyno, kaveh and tighnari. (try your best to tease him in front of them, but he’ll always have a playful quip right back at you.)

"really? because sometimes i think you love using me more as a pillow than an actual boyfriend. i’m only joking dear, i love you too.”

[tozettastone]

I don't know if I'm actually keeping this one — there's some stuff I don't like about it and I will at least cut and rearrange it I think. And other reasons.

But it's an excerpt from a draft of a hypothetical future meeting between Maddie and Deidara, featuring Hidan. Contains references to violence.

---

"You're supposed to be dead!" Deidara yelled. He was getting closer by the second.

Hidan glanced over his shoulder at his approach, but he didn't actually turn to face Deidara.

Maddie made a valiant effort to shrink into Hidan's shadow, even though she was nearly the same height as him now.

"Can you please just stay between us?" she hissed.

"You aren't seriously scared of Deidara," Hidan said in half-offended bafflement, turning again as though another look at Deidara's baby-faced, short, featherweight person would reveal a more intimidating appearance if he only looked again and squinted harder. Evidently it didn't, because he just looked back at Maddie again. "You're not even scared of me!"

"He wants to kill me!"

"If he wanted to kill you this whole property would be on fire." Hidan rolled his eyes. "That's the only thing he's good for."

"He left me vomiting through a hole in my oesophagus!" she cried, high and aggrieved. And since her voice had never recovered, it cracked into a hoarse growl halfway through the sentence. "And he didn't pay me!"

"Ooh. Ouch," said Hidan, but he was smiling widely. He totally ignored that Deidara had tried to screw her out of scores of thousands of ryo and instead addressed the part that interested him: "That's a bad one. That bubbling where the open wound meets the acid. It's like it never ends."

That was exactly what it had been like, too. The bubbling had made thin watery bile go a lot further, and the acid washing over her cut throat had felt like it was going to keep going forever.

Maddie clenched her jaw. She had to figure out how to make Hidan see why she was upset — even though she knew it was kind of a lost cause, because Hidan really only cared about stuff he cared about, and was constitutionally incapable of the intellectual empathy that would permit him to understand that his closest people cared about other things.

Her eyes narrowed. She switched tactics. "But they just left me there! They didn't even watch. It didn't matter to him at all. Isn't that cruel?"

...And so now she sounded like a jilted one night stand who felt they'd had something special, which wasn't really how Maddie aspired to sound about getting her throat cut while she vomited and cried in the dirt. This did get through to Hidan a lot better than any of her preceding comments, though.

Unfortunately, the way in which it got through to him was not particularly agreeable to Maddie. Hidan still didn't turn to look at Deidara. His eyes were wide and intense and his lips shone wetly when he licked them.

"Do you want me to do it properly?" he crooned. "I promise I'll take good care of you. Hey, hey, you have more than one heart right now, don't you? We could..."

Blessedly, this train of conversation was cut short by Deidara actually arriving within conversational distance, a blur of fluttering gold and red and black, which forestalled any absolutely horrifying realisations Maddie might have been forced to face about how far she'd go for human contact right now.

Exactly as Hidan had predicted, Deidara didn't immediately try to hurt anyone. But he did look absolutely incandescent with fury.

"I knew there was something going on, hm! What the hell is it?" Deidara at last came to a stop, scowling fiercely at both of them. "Why's she so important? Is she another one? Like you? What? Your — sister or something?"

Hidan finally pulled a face and turned away from Maddie.

"Sister?" He looked at himself, and then looked at Maddie. "Seriously? You think she looks like me?"

Unlike Hidan, Deidara had at least two brain cells to rub together, and Maddie got to watch them working in real time as the weird emphasis on the word 'me' made him squint harder at her.

"Are you... related to Kakuzu?" he said finally. "Kakuzu has a family? What, a grand... niece?" He rubbed his chin. "I did think it was weird that Kakuzu knew a girl, hm!"

"No," Maddie said repressively, even as Hidan crowed, "A kid, even!"

Annoyed, she leaned in and tugged on his hair. "Hidan!"

"Ow! Madeline, that hurts, you know!" He twisted and pulled her hair back.

She put up with it stoically. It was just hair. "If he'd wanted him to know he'd have told him."

Deidara looked like, firstly, all his questions had been answered, and secondly, like he had many more, worse questions. It took him a second to compute.

"How can Kakuzu have a kid!" he bellowed, at a volume that made it hard to imagine why he'd come so close to them to talk. "There are things that are and aren't possible in this world!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Maddie said defensively, even though she herself had had some pretty incredulous thoughts about Murakami Ami's taste in men.

Maddie felt sure she would never fall prey to any such longing: personally, she liked seeing other people vulnerable, and to feel perfectly in control. If someone like Kakuzu had shown the slightest sexual interest in Maddie, she'd have fled the fucking country.

Hidan made an interested little hum in his throat, watching Deidara's face just as closely as Maddie was.

Deidara stared at her, aghast. "It's Kakuzu! What kind of person would...?"

Silently, Maddie pointed at Hidan.

Deidara's big blue eyes followed her gesture. For a split second, his face froze. Then his eyes narrowed. He lifted his chin sharply, sending his long pale hair bouncing around his face. Offered this opportunity of a graceful retreat, Deidara saw it, assessed it, and then totally rejected it in favour of a doomed frontal assault: "Nobody would — do that — with Kakuzu!"

"Ha," said Hidan, a great big huff of laughter. "Sure they would. And maybe if you survive 'til your balls drop, you'll get it."

"Don't be disgusting," hissed Deidara, reddening. He blushed easier than Hidan, despite not being quite as pale. He probably had more shame. Wouldn't have been hard. "Besides, you can't tell me Kakuzu's a... a family type! Hm!" He spat the words 'family type,' as if they'd personally offended him.

"He's not," said Maddie flatly.

"Aw, lucky you have an affectionate uncle," Hidan said smoothly, hooking her in with the pole of his scythe, so she had to either submit to the crushing one-armed hug coming her way or get sliced in half. Knowing Hidan, he probably considered both options great fun. "Someone has to teach kids about the important stuff."

She submitted to the hug. At least Hidan was large and warm. She could feel his heart beating through his ribcage. It was slow and steady, unconcerned. Her hearts, on the other hand, beat off-cycle, fast, little rabbits thumping away in the soft cage of her lungs.

She breathed slowly out, watching Deidara with wary eyes.

"The important stuff. And that's... Hidan," he repeated slowly. Maddie could almost see him processing this. At length, he pulled a disgusted face. "Wow. I'm almost sorry I asked."

[seaadc]

hello!!! if you’re up for this, can i request any genshin men with a reader who feels like a horrible person because of things they’ve done in the past? i have a guilt complex lmaoooooo (i say lmao but it’s agony) (PEOPLE IN THE CROWD WITH A GUILT COMPLEX PUT YOUR HANDS UPPPP)

also this is a complete side note but i think this concept would be especially interesting with wrio since he’s always in the fortress or meropide, seeing people who have done wrong everyday in the fairly normal system (by jail standards) they have down there

guilt | wriothesley x reader

OH GOD THIS HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY ASKS FOR A WHILE NOW IM SO SORRY MY NOTIFS ARE ALWAYS FILLED UP AND I DONT SEE ASKS ANYMOREEE T-T

angst w fluff at the end, soft!wrio, he’s comforting youu, gets a bit suggestive at the end, no pronouns used but reader is referred to as ‘my love’ and ‘princess’

it’s nothing to be concerned about really, if you were a criminal and probably rotting in the fortress of meropide for— archons knows how long, you would’ve just let your conscience be the death of you.

but you aren’t! your not sitting around and laying in the fortress of doom meropide, thank the archons.

though you can’t help but think if the seven are laughing at you, quite literally. your state isn’t so stable as it seems..

wriothesley, your partner, had called sigewinne ages ago to check on your health status. although it was all negative, the tests, the results, the examinations, all negative.

there wasn’t anything wrong with you, so why is there an aching pain in your stomach whenever your brain just relapses back to the past, the time where you had done such unforgiving sins, you couldn’t even do a whole statement word for word on what you had done to those poor victims.

one of them, someone special to you. someone special that you had lost because of your own carelessness, someone you had lost because you were being selfish, someone who you wished to cherish for a lifetime— though fate is mocking you unfortunately.

and the pain, the inkling pain deep inside that you cant ignore, it’s annoying. it’s frustrating. it’s … sad.

it’s a pity to see someone like you, a nice person who only wished to improve themselves and hope for a better future. yet it seems celestia didn’t approve.

your longtime partner, wriothesley, had been worried for you. ever since you met, you were always dozing off, not focusing, you looked uncomfortable yet he couldn’t pinpoint what was actually wrong.

it was starting to piss him off, really. the way you doze off when he talks to you, when you two spend time together and your too busy in your own little world to pay attention to him.

wriothesley had decided to sit you down, like what any partner would do when they encounter a misunderstanding or a mishap. communication is key after all.

he couldn’t ever forget the look on your face, the day where you looked at him with such pitiful eyes and regretful ones while he just stared back at you with a stern look.

he feels pity, wriothesley feels pity. someone like him shouldn’t, so what is this he feels?

“tell me what’s been bugging you for months, [name].” wriothesley takes a deep breath, then exhales as you sat there, fidgeting with your fingers. “i didnt get the chance to ask you back then, since it was your privacy after all, hm?” he spoke firmly, his voice laced with curiosity and the tone where he just wants to know the truth.

just tell him, it wouldn’t be so hard. he’s your partner after all, you have every right to tell him so. “[name], i’m doing this to help you. you’re someone extremely precious to me and i can’t help myself just seeing you look so lost.” wriothesley explains, sighing deeply as he waits for your response.

how would he react? he’s the all mighty scary wriothesley after all. he’s known to have less mercy and sympathy on others. why tell? you’ll just embarrass yourself, you thought to yourself.

but you couldn’t. you couldn’t keep a secret, especially towards him. if he was any other people, a stranger, you would’ve kept it till the end of your life. but he’s not just a stranger.

he’s your partner, your loved one, your everything. wriothesley is someone you can trust, someone you care for. is it really worth keeping a secret from him?

you took a deep breath, letting the air get past your nostrils. “i have.. committed alot of unforgettable things in the past, someone like you wouldn’t like. someone like you wouldn’t appreciate.” you confessed, looking down and avoiding your beloved’s longing stare.

wriothesley looks at you, tilting his head in confusion. you? doing things that he couldn’t possibly imagine? “ever since i’ve started to open up a new path to walk on, the guilt in my chest still pains me. it’s almost eating me whole.” you continue.

he smiles at you, not a happy smile, a faint sad smile. he’s quite joyful about how you were guilty, and not like any other person who wouldnt even feel the slightest bit of empathy to what they’ve done wrong in the past.

this is the [name] he fell inlove with. the honest, confident, firm, one. there was no denying that wriothesley was hopelessly inlove with you. and he finds it lovingly amusing.

“if you regret it, then it’s okay. you don’t have to be in debt of a thing you regret on doing. if you truly feel guilt, then it just means your improving and want to be a better person my love.” he smiles, standing up and walking over to your seat, crouching before you as you were forced to look at him.

wriothesley holds your chin, going up to caress your cheeks coated with a red flush. “it may be your fault or not, but there will always be a way to fight back the sins of the past. you can get through it, i know you can.”

“your the strong and confident lady i love after all, hm?” he says with a grin, which makes your already flustered enough face go even more red.

you smile tenderly as he continues to caress your cheek, you leaned into his touch as you hear him chuckle lowly. wriothesley stands up straight, his hand now on your head as he ruffles your soft and silky hair.

wriothesley smirks, a teasing one. which means he’s probably going to say something just to tease you and to lighten up the mood a bit. “besides, i’m the only one who’s allowed to eat you whole, princess.”

made by @seaadc and @seaadc only !!

laughinf bc i made this at exactly 1am LMFAOO (i’m mentally unstable)

[ganondoodle]

Will Zelda abolish the monarchy in your TotK rewrite?

HM

she will not turn to the camera and say "i am abolishing monarchy" (since that needs to be said these days ..) but in a way its kinda meant to be like .. the opposite of the canon totk messaging?

like, fictional monarchy in itself isnt like the root of all evil, its the ideology that goes with it? i like fictional monarchy stuff and other races got them too so i wouldnt say its a clear -this is bad- thing

i do want to turn the whole idea of "hyrules royalty and its ruling is always good and just and anyone against it is automatically labeled as evil" upside down .. or more like, let it go further, rauru in the rewrite is .. similar to the canon one, thats kinda the point, hes the good and just king that wants to unite all nations in peace and wants to get rid of any "evil" be it monsters or someone threatening his 'peace'

but then you think about it, his idea of 'peace' is very specific, not everyone might want to be under his control, not everyone might have joined willingly and just bc theres someone opposing him does not have to mean they are some evil demon, all this talk might have been deliberate manipulation of history, he says hes invited a nation to join under his rule? he makes it sound like it was a nice offering like bringing a piece of cake to a neighbour, but it could be anything, he has those magical nuclear power pebbles, multiple, even just having them has an effect on others, he can say he would only use them for good, but that can be a lie, and more importantly, you dont know what his idea of 'good' is he can say he would never use it to hurt people, but what if he declares others to not BE people in his eyes he wants to bring about a world of light with no shadow to be found, rebuild a glorious kingdom of the past, there will be no shadow to hide in, there will be no place he is not, as he is the light, the king of light, and he knows whats best for all in his eternal, holy kingdom of light

.. most of this isnt even non-canon, it just gets presented as he says it, a one note fact, and you are supposed to agree- so really im just rewriting that part to be more overtly how it felt like to ME, and turnign the second half into opposing that bc hey, this might not be cool actually

im really jsut cranking raurus actions and ideals up just a tiny bit, and show more directly that its the behavoir of an imperialist king of all

so really its more like .. teaching her the lesson of how easy it is to fall into that line of thinking, how you need to consider .. maybe blindly following old traditions isnt always good, consider other perspectives, be careful bc she could have gone into that direction too (like she literally does in the canon totk end ..) and in a way she already has, but afterwards (in the rewrite) she can work against that, she could be rauru and has to decide and work against it

i know that isnt a clear answer, this whole idea is a little hmm to me bc TO ME canon totk already reads like that, and i want to work against it, bc in canon it goes unchallenged, and alot of people ... alot of people..., just go along with it seemingly not even beign able to see how its all suspicious-

in the end, i want it to be a careful but hopeful vibe of, zelda as a scientist, a historian, interested in alot of fields, being able to change something, a shift in perspective, like lady eboshi in princess monokoe saying at the end that they will start anew, now building good town- its not garanteed, zelda is still in a position of power, but she doesnt have to rebuild it like it was, people might still refer to her as princess and have high respect for her, but after being so deceived by rauru, being on the opposing side to almost the exact idea they once had, it has humbled them and can pave the way for a better future

ganondorfs spirit at the end moving on after finally being able to take out rauru, even if it meant to help out those hed see as being in the prime spot to become jsut like rauru, over the course of the second half all of them learning of each other, now more confident these younglings of a world thats long changed and not his anymore being able to build something better, and years after the ordeal theres news of a male gerudo having been born

(i know that idea goes agaisnt what made up his character for alot of the other games (though rewrite totk gan is still a different one from the old games), like his eternal problem of not being able to move on and refusing to die, and im sure theres lots of not the bestest thigns in my writing of it all too, but so far, its what i have been imagining, and unfortnately i am a sucker for those types of cliché endings-

it doesnt have to mean the next games would be going up against the gods or soemthing, though i do like that, but i felt like its a nice end for botws world, and much less uncomfortable than the canon totk end, theres no refounding of the kingdom, no swears of fealty, just young people working to rebuild the world into something better after it was almost wiped out, the kingdom already fell in botw, and the world kept on turning, i see no reason why it shouldnt be able to keep doing it)

[musclesandhammering]

Spn Opinions That’ll Have Me Burned at the Stake Pt. 2: Electric Boogaloo

I’m back and bitchier than ever. For reference, here’s part 1.

• Season 5 wasn’t that great.

• D*stiel isn’t real, it’s a sucky ship, and that confession scene was just the writers pandering to the rabid deancas fans cause they knew they were the only ones still watching the show lol. And they left it ambiguous enough that they could still say it was meant platonically if they needed to.

• I hate how they watered down both angels and demons post-season 5ish.

• I liked Ruby 1.0 better than Ruby 2.0.

• I hate Honey!Cas. They just did that cause they didn’t know where to take his story from there, needed him out of the way, and thought it would be funny. It was insulting.

• Jack should’ve been played by an actual child so everyone’s abuse of him would resonate with the audience for what it was (casual fans are brain dead and need to be spoon fed).

• Victor Henrikson deserved more time on the show.

• I said it in the last post, but Alex is way more interesting than Claire and should’ve been given the lead role in the wayward sisters storyline instead.

• Dean is canonically straight and for Christ sake if you guys wanted bi rep, there’s about a thousand other characters that are strongly coded or implied to be bisexual (including Sam!) but y’all didn’t focus on them because it wasn’t actually about representation, it was about making it more plausible for your dumb fetishised gay ship to actually happen (spoiler: it didn’t).

• Season 3 and Season 6 were some of the best ones, you guys just don’t have any taste.

• Claire is not Castiel’s daughter and saying she is erases Jimmy and insults her, and even Cas himself acknowledged that on the show.

• Castiel is canonically NOT gay and Misha constantly saying he is is annoying and airheaded. He’s been attracted to women IN THE SHOW and he’s not even really male, so calling him a Gay Man is reductive and just plain wrong. Also, it’s veeery sus that- given how bi/pan folks are even more underrepresented than gay people- that one of the rare times where the bi/pan label actually fits a character BETTER in CANON……. the allies and monosexuals adamantly reject it. Hm.

• “Curing” vampires or werewolves or demons shouldn’t have been a thing.

• The Winchesters cause most of the bad shit that happens and then they just force supernatural beings to fix it for them- tell me again how they’re Super Special Heroes.

• It shouldn’t be possible to make angels human by removing their grace, because (unlike demons, werewolves, etc) they were never human to start with. If you drained me of all my blood, I wouldn’t magically transform into another species, I’d fucking die.

• Making Billie go crazy was dumb.

• Rowena was one of the most interesting and charismatic characters on the whole show- they just didn’t know what to do with her character.

• The archangels, Lilith, and Azazel should’ve been the biggest threats on the show. No other knights of hell, no god and his sister, no Cain, nothing like that. Having every villain just get progressively more overpowered made the show unbelievable and repetitive and annoying.

• The kernel sanders king of hell guy was hot.

• Dean is misogynistic as HELL, homophobic, likes racist porn, is a narcissist, pervs on teen girls, & thinks all non-human people should be exterminated… and that is all CANON.

• Most of John Winchester’s abuse is fanon.

• Fans portraying Cas as a smol bby who colours in colouring books and has a bee plushie is so fucking annoying.

• Instead of having so many gigantic cosmic storylines with god and his sister and alternate dimensions and even the angel and demon tablets, they should’ve just scrapped those and made the stein family and the bmol and the alpha vampire storylines way bigger than they were. Less cosmic stuff, more earth-based stuff.

• They ruined Lucifer’s character post-season 5. Before that, he was more sympathetic and reasonable than Michael. After, he was a spoiled child hurting people for fun.

• Everything from season 7 on is garbage. All of it. There’s bits of goodness here and there but overall seasons 7-15 are trash.

• How the fuck are there actual people who are deangirls and hate Sam?? The space where your brain should be is empty, I swear to god.

• If there was gonna be any lgbt rep in the Wayward Sisters group, it should’ve been Jody and Donna instead of Claire and Kaia. Those two were boring as hell and had zero chemistry or build-up, but Jody/Donna had plenty of chemistry and was very believable.

• Meg has the best and most realistic redemption arc of anyone on the show.

• Chuck was not likeable or charismatic enough to carry off as big of a villain arc as they gave him. Also that whole thing was stupid and WAY too Out There.

• All the angels should’ve been aroace. All the demons should’ve been pan.

• I stanned Cole so hard up until he changed his mind about hating Dean. That was disappointing.

• Sam went through the same shitty childhood Dean did (plus Bonus Abuse on top of it) and he didn’t turn out Like That.

• I cannot think of a single person that was asking for a spin-off about the Winchester family, like that has to be the most boring thing.

[eezeybreezy]

ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴜɴᴋ ᴀɴᴅ ʜɪꜱ ᴄᴀᴛ ➜ʜᴏʙɪᴇ ʙʀᴏᴡɴ x ɢɴ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

I have fallen to the Hobie brain rot and this is the result. This was a lot longer than intended so now it's broken into multiple chapters! Lmk if I should post those too or if this is too cringe.  Part 2, Part 3, Part 4🔞

warnings: suggestive, not-so-accurate accent, recreational drug/alcohol use, partying, punk shit, eventual smut? 

As they entered the headquarters, the pair were met with a cacophony of sound and movement. People in spider suits and uniforms hurried to and fro, carrying files, and talking urgently on their phones or to each other. Clearly, this was a place of importance, filled with sensitive work and decisions.

The first was a young woman, her hair pulled back into a high ponytail and dressed in a long, flowing maxi skirt in earthy tones, paired with a crochet top. Adorned with beads or other natural details, she walked confidently, looking around with a sharp eye and taking in every detail. The second was a young man, his steps a little slower and his gaze mellow. He was dressed in a concoction of ripped fabrics, belts, and buttons, his studded vest and chunky boots a signature in the halls they walked.

"Wow," breathed the woman, taking in the bustling scene. "I knew this was a big deal, but I had no idea.."

The man chuckled. "Told you it was the real deal."

The Spider you’d come to know was none other than Hobie Brown, a stand-out among his peers and variants alike. You’d only met after being rounded up as an anomaly, though you’d come to the HQ willingly, as any means to getting home was better than being stranded in some uppity renaissance dimension. After learning of your role as the Black Cat in your world, the punk had found a new friend in an unexpected place.

“Hm…” Hobie peered at you absentmindedly, seemingly turning something over in his head.

You didn’t like that look, and knowing the kinds of ideas an anarchist could come up with, you decide to pry, “What’s up?”

Hobie finally looked at you and not through you, “How did you get those abilities bruv like, I was bit by a radioactive spider so I have spider DNA in me, but how’d you get ‘em?”

“Hear me out, a cat bit me. But she wasn’t radioactive or anything, actually quite sweet.”

“Wait wait wait, you ‘ere bitten… by a cat? And you now have abilities like me??”

You giggled at this, he’s dumbfounded over a cat but a radioactive spider giving powers is the norm around here. “I don’t know about ‘like you’ per say.’

“Aight, maybe not exactly like me, but it’s similar yeah? You have wall-crawling abilities I presume or am I wrong? And probably enhanced strength?”

Why the sudden interest in my abilities, you thought. “I mean I do have enhanced strength and speed, but I can only climb up walls with my claws, I don’t stick like you all do,” referring to the bustling crowd of Spider-people you found yourself in the presence of.

“I see, then I have one last question… What does your suit look like? I’m proper curious ‘bout that.”

Now this was unexpected, not only was he interested in your powers, but your alter ego altogether. In the few months, you’ve been friends, little was spoken about your homeworld, let alone the role you play in that dimension. You wonder what’s gotten him so interested, and so you decide to tease a little, getting Hobie Brown flustered was something very few could boast.

“You ever been to a BDSM club? It’s like a leather dominatrix suit

“…” “That’s… huh.”

“Problem ‘Obie?” You poke at him playfully, gliding to stand closer to the slender man.

“Not at all… can’t say I’m not confused though…” he trailed off. “But hey, as your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man it’s not my problem that you have an… um… interesting taste in fashion.”

That got a snort out of you, “You’re one to talk about ‘interesting taste in fashion’, Mr. Spider Punk.”

A sigh comes from the taller man. “Fine. You win.”

Deciding to toy with him further, you play nonchalant and petty, “If I’m so annoying I’ll just leave then. I enjoyed meeting you Punk.”

“Oi oi, I didn’t mean to insult you, I swear… I'll be 'onest wiv ya, mate. I don't really know what I'm doin' 'ere. I'm just takin' it one day at a time and seein' where it takes me.” He looked up from the ground to look at you again, something sad in his eyes. “Life's a funny old game, ain't it?"

“The rockstar runway model is bad with people? Color me shocked”

Hobie let out a huff of air, which you could only assume mimicked a laugh, “Is that meant to be an insult or genuine criticism?”

“I was being serious Hobie, you seem to have a good handle on people. You’re just so cool I thought maybe you’d have it down by now” Despite wanting to crawl into a hole at your admission, you said it with your chest, and you’re not about to back out now.

He’s quite surprised by this, not anticipating such a blatant compliment from you. “Huh… you’re actually pretty rad yourself. Most people don’t think that and just call me a freak.”

“I mean I’d say I’ma freak too but that hasn’t gotten me any complaints if you know what I mean.” You say with a wink, deciding to lay it on thick.

He smirks at you, catching the vibes you're putting down quickly. “Oh, I understand what you mean. I just didn’t expect you to be this forward luv.”

“What’s the phrase? ‘You miss 100% something something-”

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take?”

“Yeah yeah somethin like that”, you past your giggles. “You tryna get out of here?”

Hobie looks at you almost sideways, and if you didn’t know him better, you’d be put off by the glare. “Get out of here and do what exactly? What’re you planning?” He takes a step towards you, covering more ground than you’d anticipated due to his long strides. He was so close.

“I’m not dumb, I can tell you’re trying to trick me into something, but I’m not quite sure what…”

You smile at that, despite telling the truth, he’d managed to tease you in the process. We’re in the clear. “No trick here, not today at least.”

You look at him through thick lashes, “Did you have any ideas Spidey?” you ask coyly.

The punk chuckles,

“Ah, the ol’ playing coy shtick ‘uh? Not that I have anything against it, honest with you I kinda like it.”

Your tone is drenched in sarcasm, “Me? Coy? What kind of women do you take me for?” You’re feigning being offended, and he continues your banter. He laughs in a friendly way, deeply and honestly, a sound you wish was heard more often by the masses.

“Oh trust me you’re not like the other girls. You’re cool.”

“I’m not like other girls,” you say mockingly, trying to keep him amused. “So, what’s the punk down to do?”

Hobie’s face lights up with excitement, “I know just the place. Ever been to a punk rock show? There’s always tons of wankers to hang out with and it’s basically a Beano with loud ass music.”

You’d know about Spider-Man in front of you’s reputation, his subtle flex of eclectic success was something you’d come to admire about him. “I’ve had my fair share of underground events, though I’d call myself more goth than punk, you ever been to a goth club? I’m down to go to one of your shows if the anarchist is down to do some substances with me.”

He perked up at this. “Hell yeah, I’d be down, I love partying. Although, can I ask what kind of… substances you’re planning on using? I wanna make sure I bring the right shit.”

“Fuck no nothing hard, just weed and drinks will do it for me. That’s pretty stereotypical punk shit tho huh?”

“Yeah, well stereotypes exist for a reason. Though the whole ‘punks are stoners’ stereotype always bothers me, I never got why people think punk = drug abuse…” He shrugs.

The hair feels heavier, don’t kill the mood now! “ Well I do love me some weed, and hell yeah it’d be great to drink with you and have fun.” You keep going, hoping to bring that light back to the spider that was there but a moment ago. “I think the whole stereotype thing is stupid, but I totally understand why it doesn’t make sense to you, hating labels and all that.” You punctuate the end of your sentence with a punch to his shoulder.

“Alright, lead the way ‘Obie!”

He chuckles a bit at that, and playfully shoves you back into the portal he’s opened. You always land on your feet as you enter his dimension with a thud. He’s crouched next to you, standing to take off his mask and tuck his suit away.  

“What was that for huh? I know you can punch ‘arder than that.”

He closes the portal and starts walking towards the club, throwing you a glance over his shoulder. He beckons you to follow. “It’s just up this way, hopefully, there won’t be too big of a crowd.” His guard is down now, it’s just you and Hobie Brown, not Spider-Punk and Black Cat, just two “civs” kickin it.

“If you’re down to spar I can show you more than a little punch Bee.” You send a wink at Hobie, hoping the new nickname didn’t make him uncomfortable. “And hey! I thought you were a celebrity, don’t get special treatment even in the underground huh?”

Hobie smirks at that, “Hah. You’re funny.” He peers down at you, despite your above-average stature. “So you wanna spar then? Because now I’m very tempted to see what you can do.” He’s being cheeky, you can hear it in his tone.

Oh, this man was dangerous, and you can’t help the sly smile that makes its way to your face. “Oh, I’d love to show you everything I can do.” You’re sultry now, biting your lip as you gaze up at him.

“Damn, you’re a cocky little cat huh?” He shakes his head laughing, but can’t hide the big smirk forming on his face.

“Don’t think I won’t accept your challenge, because I will…”

“Oh? Is that so? What’s the punk challenging me to do exactly?” You step closer, still looking up at the man, with a smug grin on your face.

“Oh, I think you know…” He smirks at you and steps closer. “Or should I remind you?”

You grab him by his guitar strap, pulling him down until your lips almost touch. “It must’ve slipped my mind, Bert.” You emphasize his name teasingly.

Despite the way your eyelids flutter shut, and how your lips seem to draw each other in, he chuckles and gives you a quick kiss on the lips, still very clearly smug.

“I’m glad I could remind you.”

[lemonxlimee]

YIPPEE! tw cw trigger warning (/reference) lairy (<- theyre bad they suck). unrelated im so normal about solar eclipse chonny jash :DDDD

not enough lairy asks on here. i think they should be worse :)

the kidnapper x victim dynamic is Interesting it adds an entire new level of emotional turmoil. it sucks for liam so so bad. So Bad. both ways- if it’s unrequited and if it isn’t. airy has a certain obliviousness about him that’s interesting. it definitely doesn’t absolve him of a single thing but it’s interesting. liam hesitating to actually kill airy, he wants airy alive, despite everything. characters growing to care for each other despite the baggage between them……

hm. it’s just! airy isn’t malevolent, and despite all the bad he did he Has an Excuse. an /excuse/. he needs help, definitely. needs to escape the plane, needs human connection.

liam likes seeing airy smile more and act like he’s real regardless of romantic inclinations, and hates himself for that. starts going out of his way to make airy smile in an act he would never admit to himself, never put into words. airy just needs liam’s arm around his shoulder to steady him. he just needs to sit next to airy at the computer so airy doesn’t commit atrocities, that’s all. he asks to help with the reeds to get stronger and beat airy with the axe, in the future, definitely. it’s all completely fine and normal. maybe airy notices and maybe airy tells him he’s glad liam doesn’t hate him anymore, and liam sits there, feeling so horrible about himself he’s nauseous. sits by the river and thinks (i like to think that before liam would take airy out to sit by the river and watch the sun rise and now this feels like a mockery, and now he feels lonely, no other word for it). romantic inclinations have compromised him after all. he shouldn’t be the one here.

the thing is, regardless of how liam feels about airy he’s still unfortunately forced to hang around him, even if just so he doesn’t kill people. so even if liam hates him or loves him or hates him and also loves him(- which he does, at times) he still has to watch him. eventually he works through his feelings, simply because he must.

anyway airy is completely content with liam’s existence. if liam ever gets closer he savors it. he falls for liam’s manipulation- if it exists- so easily, never questions any of it. he’s happier. he’s happier than he’s ever been in years. :(

i like to think, through slow erosion, liam gets through to airy. maybe at first it’s just ‘this would make me happy’. or just ‘if you do this i will do that’. i like to think eventually airy catches onto the idea of morals. it has to sink in. eventually it does. eventually airy realizes what he’s done. eventually he asks liam if he should let go of the contestants, and then asks liam what they should do now.

liam’s succeeded and it’s just through. being there for airy.

they probably go to san francisco and figure out how to live together and then bryce gets in touch with liam and liam accidentally slips airy lives with him now and bryce asks him if he’s a kidnapper fucker as a joke and then liam smashes his phone. you know, normal things

oh right i accidentally made them good. fuck. anyway imagine liam under the duress of airy being a kidnapper, having to deal with his attraction. there’s something about liam having to deal with his own attraction too. maybe liam starts hurting airy as a punishment for what he’s done. maybe he never stops. maybe he enjoys it. maybe he manipulates airy and finds a way past his guard to help the contestants without his knowledge and likes it, and likes how airy will let him do almost anything.

and you KNOW, you KNOW if liam hurt airy airy would soak it up, because any touch is better than nothing. at least liam wants him. if this is the only touch he will impart, airy will take what he can get. he needs the attention. he likes the way liam smiles when he’s hurt.

airy just wants people to be happy even if it’s the worst ever……

also just. airy hurting liam and liam hurting airy in an infinite cycle. airy keeps encouraging what liam does to him. and maybe liam wouldn’t have done it in any other circumstance but that’s then and this is now- and he can’t justify it further except airy deserves this, right? it’s not about whether airy likes it. (it’s not about that he likes it. it’s not about how whenever liam starts airy asks for it and he asks for it in such a way that liam can’t help but-)

airy encouraging liam’s hatred.

the way airy is in general it’d suck for liam so bad……

anyway airy eroding liam so that they’re perfect for each other (derogatory)

Holynshit /pos

It's beautiful

Youve captured them perfectly to me

(Unrelated but,,, is solar eclipse a ship name....... becaus)

[bi-hop]

my thoughts on rgu ep 3

we're baaaack! my previous posts are all now under my rgu liveblog tag

lord, here we go with the extended recaps even though it's only episode 3-

it's interesting how memory is being played with here with Utena. such a formative moment is reduced to a strange fairy tale, a piece of gossip with faceless characters. the only proof of it is vague recollections paired with a single physical piece of evidence: the ring. but said ring is also associated with other elements of the world that she is still not fully privy to... just hm

the running gag of Utena being like "you need a friend" and Chu Chu being like "?" and Anthy being like "?" amuses me but also doesn't... can't put my finger on why though so I'm just gonna note it down and circle back to it

the Utena-sama stuff is funny. like, oh, okay, it's fine when girls are admiring you from a distance because you can write it off as a joke, but a girl insisting she's engaged to you and referring to you reverently is when you're finally like "actually I desire men, I totally want to date a boy, the masculinity has nothing to do with being gay, I want a NORMAL BOY" OADJODSJODS OKAY SURE UTENA

Girl, you claim to want to date a guy and then a guy flirts with you and you're immediately like "let's keep it platonic, dude". alright-

^ NOT AT ALL IMPLYING ATTRACTION TO DUDES MEANS YOU'RE RECEPTIVE TO ALL ADVANCES. just kinda funny immediately following a scene where she's like "erm actually I'm totally straight! I am a heterosexual!!!"

"is the prince bi too. did he kiss all of the duelists orrrr..." - riveting commentary from the girlfriend. I have no stance on this, I just think he seems like a creep

communication? in MY anime? it's far less likely than you'd think. (Touga is annoying but what else is new)

the council finally clueing in to the fact that Utena is not in fact in contact with End of the World (whoever THAT is). Saionji is also hiding or something? good fucking riddance

Anyway, I think the use of a prince as the model Utena bases her appearance on and also simultaneously the vague object of her desire is compelling in a compulsory heterosexuality narrative because it's a perfect analogue to how some lesbians I know would simply invent an idealized guy to project feelings onto due to the insistence of heterosexuality as a regime that a girl MUST desire a man. the easiest man to desire is the one you only vaguely remember from your childhood and have no real chance of meeting-

can everyone just leave Anthy alone????

Nanami looks nice, but I've watched too many shows with blonde mean girls to trust that she really has Anthy's best interests at heart...

circling back to the girls and how they treat Anthy (which includes Wakaba of course because Wakaba is meant to be a window into what the other girls are thinking IMO), there's this continual theme of everyone viewing Anthy as like... this seductress almost who is ruining the lives of boys like Saionji over nothing. She's 'shameless', she's a 'creep', whole time she's being abused and treated as an object. the relatable brown woman of color experience, I fear

Touga: I don't care about Utena. I care about a feminized fantasy of her I have in my head, even though my attraction to her started with how she regularly dresses. This is because I can fix her aesthetic-

Anthy and her social anxiety... man... just let her sit in the dorm and play cards with Chu Chu

and sure enough, Nanami sabotages her out of misdirected jealousy. girl, you need to be freed of the idea that girls are competition for your brother's affection. also, you need to kill your brother. you will do this for me and become a feminist-

I'm not surprised that the retaliation against Anthy is called a prank that maaaybe went too far. I'm especially not surprised this commentary is directed towards a moment of sexual violence. ty to Utena for intervening

gay people be dancing on loop... that is all

fun episode! much to chew on! on to the next

[sirowsky-stories]

Collision

Description: A bad evening turns into a horrendous night when an accident threatens to rob Pero of the one friend he really has. But not everything is as it seems, and over the course of just one day, his life is turned upside down.

Warnings: Pero Tovar x OFC, no reader insert, Pero's pov, car-crash, hospital scenes, accidental pregnancy, cursing, angst, reference to smut, friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, secret identity, AU fic. Rating: Mature/Explicit 18+ONLY Word Count: 6400 Series Masterlist

Author's Note: I can't leave this man alone. I have no idea what this might turn into, it was just an idea for the Pedrostories 1k Celebration and I ran with it. So let me know if you want to read more about these guys. And thank you to the wonderful people behind @pedrostories ! You do amazing things for this fandom <3

-=¤=-=¤=-=¤=-=¤=-=¤=-=¤=-

   He doesn’t hate her. That’s as much as he can be sure of when it starts. She’s interesting, different from most other women he’s met, especially in how she never asks him for anything. She shows up when she needs him physically, just like he does with her, and that’s as far as it goes.    And in that sense, she’s perfect. She takes what she needs and allows him to do the same, and it works. They work.

   Until the day it all goes to Shitville.

   “Please, just listen to me!” she yells, trying to be heard over his endless growling and spitting, but he is as far from a listening mood as he’s ever been.

   “Get the fuck out of my house!” he yells back, unable to even be around her in that moment.

   He actually tries to walk away from her even though he’s in his own home. But she doesn’t let him, following him through the hall towards his bedroom, where he stops before crossing the threshold, whirling towards her to try and get rid of her.

   “I’m not doing this, Niki!”

   “No, you already did!” she fires back. “It’s not like I can make a fucking baby on my own!”

   “And why should I believe that its mine? Hm?” he challenges, and sees her eyes shift from anger to something colder.

   He’s about to cross a line and he knows it. He knows that she doesn’t give herself to anyone else, she’s not trusting enough for that. It had taken two years before she’d even let Tovar anywhere near her body.    But he doesn’t want this. Just the thought scares him worse than anything ever has. Badly enough that he can’t even have a conversation about it.

   “We’re not together, you could’ve been with a hundred guys for all I know!” he presses, fully aware that he’s way out of line, but too riled up to stop himself.

   Niki, meanwhile, is too stunned to speak. She just stands there, staring up at him in disbelief, no doubt trying to understand why he’s being so cruel when this isn’t her fault.

   “Get the fuck out,” he repeats, low and menacing, making her shiver and step back.

   She’s always known that he has a bad side, she’s seen it more times than most people around him. But she’s never seen it aimed at her before.    The one reason why she had eventually decided to trust him with her pleasure, is precisely that he’s always allowed her to see those parts of him. That he’s honest, even about the things he finds ugly in himself. And that’s why she also believes him now.

   He can see the moment in which that trust crumbles to pieces. Five years of progress, undone by something that is still, no matter how much he wants to deny it, not her fault.    She grants him his wish, and leaves without another word, while tears break the dam of her lower eyelids, spilling down her cheeks in softly sparkling streams. And he wants to wipe them away, to wipe this whole fucking mess away, but he can’t.

-=¤=-

   The ringing wakes him in the small hours of the night, tearing him out of a hazy dream filled with strange lights and ominous shadows, no doubt brought on by the bottle of whisky he’d all but gulped down in his efforts to silence the guilt and allow him to rest.    It’s an unknown number. He never answers unknown numbers, so he mutes the call and tries to go back to sleep.

   But it rings again. And again.

   “I’m trying to sleep, stop fucking calling!” he snarls instead of a greeting, when he finally answers to try and shut the caller up so he can get some sleep.

   “Sir, I’m calling from the County Hospital, I need to know if I’m speaking with Pero Tovar?” the male voice on the other end replies, and he sobers up slightly.

   Why would anyone from a hospital be calling him? The last time he’d gotten hurt had been over a year ago, and there wouldn’t be any follow up to that this long after. Especially not in the middle of the night.

   “Yes, this is him,” he says, considerably less confrontational.

   “Mr. Tovar, my name is Frank and I’m a registered nurse at the County ER. We have a patient here named Nikita Morse and yours is the only name listed as her emergency contact in the ICE information on her phone,” the man answers, and something cold and terrible shoots through Pero’s blood over the two seconds that it takes for him to absorb what he’s heard.

   “Is… Is she-…” he tries, needing to know if she’s alive, but he can’t get the word out. “What happened?” he asks instead.

   “A car accident. As I understand it, Ms. Morse wasn’t responsible, but I’m afraid that it was a severe impact, sir,” the nurse explains, and when Pero still doesn’t reply, he continues. “You should know that she’s alive, but her condition is critical.    You might wanna get down here, sir.”

   “Right…” he answers in a daze, and then hangs up the phone.

   He has never once imagined that she might get hurt. It hasn’t crossed his mind, because he’s never thought of her like that. Like someone he should care about in that way or to that extent. He’s never thought that he does.    Niki is a friend, sure, but a fuck-friend more than anything else. She isn’t someone that he hangs out with socially in the classic sense.

   They don’t have dinners or go to the movies or pubs or anywhere together. They meet up, have sex, and then part ways. Usually without even talking much and never staying the night. It’s simple and that’s why it works. Because there aren’t any feelings involved.    Or so he thought.

   He sits up on the side of the bed, holding his own head for a minute to try and stop the throbbing in his temples. He doesn’t know if it’s because of the alcohol or the shock, he just knows that it fucking hurts and he wants it to stop.    He doesn’t want to care. Caring is so complicated.    But she’s hurt, once again to no fault of her own, and he can’t just leave her there alone.

   She doesn’t have anyone, and neither does he. She doesn’t know how to trust people, and he doesn’t want to. They’re both each other’s exception. That’s why they work.

   He gets dressed and splashes cold water on his face. Not to sober up, the call took care of that, but to make sure that this isn’t a dream. He wishes that it was, so he’s disappointed when the water doesn’t jolt him awake.    Even with the keys rattling in his hand, he almost forgets to lock the door. The drive passes in a blur while his thoughts erratically jump between memories and imagined scenarios, his fears creating haunting images before his eyes.

   Parking is free outside the emergency room, but he wouldn’t have remembered to feed a meter regardless.    He gives his name at the front desk and is shown to a smaller waiting room further into the building, reserved for friends and family of patients in intensive care. It’s empty when he walks in. No other patients are as bad as Niki tonight.

   It takes thirty minutes before the door opens and a woman enters, closing it behind her.

   “Mr. Tovar?” she asks, and he nods, feeling his throat go dry at the blank expression on her face. “My name is Penelope Jackson and I’m one of the doctors who worked on Ms. Morse when she was first brought in.”

   The room is small enough that it only fits eight chairs. Three along the far wall, two on each side and one beside the door. He’s sitting on the first seat along the left-hand side wall, and she takes a seat in the single chair by the door, putting her at a ninety-degree angle to him.

   “I’m gonna be frank with you, sir. The accident was bad, and her injuries are severe. She’s already been in surgery for three hours,” she begins, and he feels himself restlessly looking for something to busy his hands with. “But she’s fighting. The surgeon who’s working on her right now says that she’s remarkably stabile, considering her injuries, so she clearly wants to live, and that’s half the battle.”

   He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t even know what he’s feeling or thinking, let alone how to express any of it.

   “I’m sorry that it took us so long to call you. She had no ID on her when she arrived, and it took the police a while to find her purse and phone. They got thrown out of the car by the force of the impact.”

   An image of contorted metal and a broken body in a driver’s seat unbiddenly flashes before his eyes, and he closes them against the disturbing picture.

   “May I ask how you know her, Mr. Tovar?” Penelope inquires softly, but he doesn’t know how to respond.

   The memories of how they met replace the disturbing image in his mind. The in-house mechanic who had come to fix his forklift when it had broken down in the middle of his shift at the warehouse. The way their short conversation hadn’t felt uncomfortable even once. The rare smile that her careful attempt at a joke had put on his lips.    She’d told him later that she’d never felt so instantly secure around another person before that day.

   “We work together,” he finally says, rubbing his face against his palms to try and scrub the mental pictures from his view.

   Happy memories don’t seem to fit into this scenario.    Doctor Jackson doesn’t look surprised to hear that his relationship with her patient isn’t closer than that. Obviously, it is, but he can’t find the words to talk about that with a stranger. However tolerant she might be, he doesn’t want this woman to judge them, and anyway, their relationship, however unusual or strange, is their own business.

   “Do you know if she has any allergies or pre-existing medical conditions?” the doctor asks then, and he answers without looking up at her.

   “Isn’t that in her records?”

   “She doesn’t have any,” Penelope replies, and he snaps his head up to meet her eyes.

   “What are you talking about? She broke her collarbone eight years ago. She fell off a horse and broke her left arm and four ribs down her left side a year after that.    Of course, she has records, those things didn’t heal of their own.”

   “We did notice those scars, among others, but her treatment must’ve been at a private medical facility, because we can’t find any records of her anywhere in the country.”

   No… that makes no sense. To his knowledge, Niki isn’t and never has been anywhere near wealthy enough to afford private care. But the doctor has no reason to lie about it.    There’s no way for him to figure this out right here and now, though, so he refocuses on her question. Although, he only knows of one medical issue that’s relevant to the current situation.

   “Did you notice that she’s pregnant?” he asks quietly, as if just saying it out loud might make it more real somehow.

   It feels like it does.

   “Yes. A woman of fertile age being brought in without records or next of kin, we’re gonna try and learn as much as we can about before we send her down to surgery. Pregnancy is one of the first things we check in that situation.    She’s about six weeks along. Is the child yours?”

   He can’t say it out loud, so he merely nods again. But he knows that it’s true. No matter what he’d said to her last night, he damned well knows.

   “For the time being, the fetus is alive, but I’m sorry to say that there are no guarantees. If she makes it through this, the healing is gonna take time and a lot of energy, and her body might not be able to do both,” the doctor says, and she sounds genuinely sad now.

   Pero doesn’t know how he feels about this. He can’t tell if he’s sad or angry or worried. It’s just too much.    He wants Niki to survive. But beyond that…

   “We’ll let you know as soon as anything changes, okay?” Jackson offers, and again, he nods, unable to do anything but exist for the time being.

   Unfortunately, as she steps out, the police walk in, and he instantly wants to tell them to fuck off so that he can have one god damned minute to try and think.    His brain is a beehive, and the queen isn’t letting him think for himself. It’s just loud and incomprehensible and he wants to scream, if only to drown it out for a single second.    Instead, he sighs deeply and runs both palms over the sides of his neck, before leaning back and letting his hands come to rest in his lap.

   “Mr. Tovar?” the younger male officer asks while he and his partner, a middle-aged woman, take a seat opposite him.

   “Yeah.”

   “I’m detective Burns and this is my partner, detective Winson. We’ve been assigned to Ms. Morse’s case, and we’d like to ask you a few questions, if that’s alright?”

   What a stupid question. What is he supposed to say? No?    But they’re waiting for an answer, so the question apparently wasn’t just for show.

   “Okay.”

   “How long have you known her?” the man starts, taking out a notepad in the meantime.

   “A little over five years. She’s a truck-mechanic at the warehouse where I work.”

   “Do you know if she has any family?”

   “She hasn’t mentioned anyone.”

   “What about friends?”

   “So far as I know, just me,” Pero shrugs, but both the detectives seem to find that answer interesting.

   “You’ve known her for five years, but you have no idea what other people might be in her life at all?” the woman chips in, and he drops his gaze to the floor.

   “We’re not… close. Not like that,” he admits, for the first time feeling ashamed of the fact that he really doesn’t know the one person in his life that he calls a friend.

   “Like what, then?” the man presses, and Tovar nervously scratches at his own palms.

   “We don’t talk much, we just… hook up.”

   He doesn’t want to see their judgement, but he glances up anyway, to make sure that they understand what he’s saying. Unexpectedly, he’s met by indifference from them both, which actually sets him at ease.

   “I see. So, you wouldn’t have noticed any suspicious activities around her?” detective Burns asks, thereby shifting Pero’s entire perspective on the events which have put him in this room tonight.

   “Suspicious activities?” he asks, wanting to know if they’re referring to Niki doing something questionable, or someone else acting dubiously towards her.

   “Any faces that kept popping up around her, cars that seemed to show up wherever she did… that kind of stuff.”

   “You think someone was following her?” he wonders, and the thought makes him feel sick.

   But it also makes him think back on what the nurse on the phone had said.

   “Wait… the accident wasn’t her fault, right? Did someone hit her on purpose, is that what this is about? Is someone trying to kill Niki?” he demands, feeling anger begin to take hold of his senses.

   Anger is less crippling than care and much easier than pain, so he clings to it, hoping that it’ll give him a place to put all the shit that he doesn’t know what to do with. And more than that, if there really is a human being who is responsible for this, that gives him someone to blame. Someone to hurt.    But the policemen remain guarded.

   “That’s what we’re trying to figure out, sir,” detective Winson takes over. “Do you know anything about her past? Her hometown, school, sports or social activities that she took part in? Her interests or hobbies?”

   “No. All I know is that she likes horses and dogs. And Chinese food.”

   And me. He doesn’t say it, but he feels certain that Niki likes him.    He doesn’t know how much she cares about him, maybe not at all, but he thinks so. He thinks that that’s why she sticks to their unspoken arrangement without fail. Because he’s all she’s got, which means that he’s probably the only one she really cares about. Enough to make sure that she’ll never lose him.

   How horrible it must’ve been, then. To come to his house with the news of the baby, knowing that it would likely tear everything apart.    Sitting there with the police, and his only friend on an operating table somewhere beneath his feet, he suddenly wonders what would’ve happened if he hadn’t thrown her out. If he’d had the courage to talk to her.

   Would she have been safe right now?

   “Alright, I’m gonna level with you here, Mr. Tovar, because you seem like the kinda guy that might go off and do something stupid with the wrong sort of idea in your head,” Winson continues, bringing him back to the moment.

   He doesn’t like her tone, though. There’s something unsettling about it. He can’t tell what exactly, but it feels like this woman might be a problem waiting to happen.    He hopes that he’s imagining it.

   “Obviously, we haven’t had time to really investigate much yet, but the first step of any case is to learn more about the people involved. And since the other driver fled the scene, Ms. Morse is the only person that we have available to us, so that’s where we’ve focused our efforts so far.    However, our initial look at her has already created quite a few question marks,” she explains, and the unsettling feeling in his gut intensifies.

   “About what?” he asks, finding himself getting almost desperate to learn more about Niki, the one thing he has never wanted before today.

   “Well, for starters, her personal file indicates that she’s attended public school in New York, with stellar grades and commendations from her teachers, before being accepted to MIT, where she studied mechanical engineering and graduated with honors.    Quite a good start to life, wouldn’t you say?”

   “Sure,” he shrugs, because while he knows that MIT is considered a prestigious school, academia has never interested or impressed him.

   “Most people would agree. So, why then did she completely disappear after that?” the detective wonders, clearly not expecting him to have an answer as she carries on. “From the day she graduated, more than fifteen years ago, right up until she was hired by her current employer nearly six years ago, there’s no record of her at all.    She’d never leased an apartment or bought a house, never had a membership card to anything, never bought a car, never traveled abroad because she’d never had a passport made.    Then, six years ago, she pops back up here. She buys a car, rents an apartment and gets hired by your employer, all in the same day.”

   Shit. Those are all pretty good examples of “suspicious activities”.

   “Okay… What does that mean?” he asks, playing dumb, because he’s already got a few guesses of his own.

   But he wants to know as much about where their heads are at as he can, and in which direction that they might be about to take this investigation.

   “We don’t know yet. It’s been five hours since the crash and all we do know at this point, is that your friend’s past has a big hole in it. Which also means that we can’t be certain about anything concerning the accident.”

   “So, what? You think that she could’ve done this to herself?”

   “No, another car obviously hit her. But since this was a hit-and-run, we don’t know what happened or why.    And until I know what’s going on with Ms. Morse, I’m not ruling anything out.”

-=¤=-

   It takes another two hours of surgery before she’s taken off the table and brought to the ICU, where he’s allowed to see her for a few minutes.    She looks… wrong. Her eyelids are too heavy, her body too limp. The color of her skin is off. He’s never seen her sleeping, but it looks more like she’s already dead rather than asleep.    He’s been informed that her spleen, stomach and left lung has suffered damage, and that they’ve had to repair a tear in the wall of her heart. It all sounds so bad.

   Her right arm is in a cast and there’s a thick bandage on her right thigh, where a large gash has been torn through the skin by either metal or plastic broken off from the center console of the car. Her face is covered in both smaller and larger cuts, some of whom have needed stiches, others that are just taped or glued.    She has a concussion, but miraculously, her brain hasn’t swelled. Not yet anyway.    They say that she shouldn’t be alive, but she is.

   He doesn’t know what to say as he stands there beside her while nurses make sure that she’s properly connected to all the machines around her and that the pillows which support her injured arm and leg, won’t cause her any discomfort.    She’s all he has, and yet he can’t find the words to tell her that. To ask her to keep fighting just so that he doesn’t have to lose her.

   So much of her is broken and cut up that he doesn’t dare to touch her either, afraid that he might hurt her even with something as simple as a brush of his fingertips.    He just stands there, staring at her as if he could wake her up by sheer willpower.

   “Her left hand is undamaged,” one of the nurses says, in a voice which is so genuinely warm and caring that it almost makes him cry.

   He’s not even sure why. Perhaps just from the knowledge that truly kind people still exist. Or maybe it’s just plain and simple gratitude.    But he doesn’t cry, nor does he take Niki’s left hand. He turns and then walks out of the ICU and out of the hospital, back to his car.    Once behind the wheel, he just sits there for a minute, breathing hard against the internal distress which plagues him.

   He doesn’t know how to handle this.    He shouldn’t leave. But he does.

   The accident took place somewhere on her route home from visiting him, so he traces it, looking for the scene, not even sure why he wants to see it.    He couldn’t have missed it if he’d tried. The rescue vehicles have left, but the police are still there, and the entire scene is cordoned off while the CSI team works.    It looks like a bomb went off.

   There’s debris everywhere. And not just shattered glass and pieces of the body of the car. Engine parts, entire sections of the exhaust system, things from the boot of her SUV have been thrown as much as a hundred feet from the actual point of impact.    The car itself is unrecognizable, standing against a broken lamppost on the wrong side of the road. They’d had to cut the roof off to get to her, but the entire frame of the car is curved in the middle, where the other vehicle ran straight into it.

   The side airbags saved her life, but if the point of contact between the two cars had been just one foot further towards the front of Niki’s car, her body would’ve taken the entire force of the impact. She could never have survived that. Which had undoubtedly been the intent.    Now that he sees it, Pero is convinced that this crash happened on purpose. There’s no redlight, which means no cameras, and the speed limit of the road wouldn’t have enabled a crash this severe.

   He can see how it had happened. Niki is a responsible driver; she obeys the law and is always focused on the task of driving. She had right of way and even if she hadn’t slowed, she would still have checked both directions as she came into the intersection.    The other car would’ve had to be coming at her so fast in between the buildings to the left, that even if she had seen it, she wouldn’t have had time to swerve or even react.

   But why would someone want a simple mechanic dead?

   Clearly, Pero doesn’t know her, he’s never made much effort to, so it’s possible that those nine years in which no one seems to know where she was or what she was doing, she could’ve lived a different life. Perhaps one which made her some enemies.    He doesn’t know her, but now he needs to. He needs to understand this. Because whatever happens next, the events of this night have changed things.

   He doesn’t have any other friends, but he knows some people. People who can help him dig up some information. So, he leaves the crash-site and heads across town.    It’s not even 5 am yet, but the man he needs to see is already up, he’s sure of it. The guy rarely sleeps more than four hours a night, courtesy of PTSD from his time in Afghanistan.    And sure enough, the door opens just seconds after he knocks, and a pair of wide awake, crisp blue eyes seek him out.

   “Tovar… Long time no see.”

   “Hey, Will,” he nods, just as the man takes in the state of him.

   “The fuck happened to you?”

   “Shit. Shit happened,” he deadpans, and then sighs heavily and rubs his forehead for a moment. “I need you to help me find something.”

   The man deliberates for a few beats, hearing that. There’s water under the bridge between them, lots of it, but he knows Pero well enough to know that he only ever asks for help when something is seriously wrong.

   “Yeah, alright,” he finally decides, letting go of the door and turning to head back into his house, knowing that his guest will follow.

   They walk into the kitchen where his host prepares coffee for them both, before they take a seat at the table.    Will might be a war veteran, but he’s better off than most. After his service, he started up a private company which he can manage from home, and which keeps him in good financial order. The house isn’t particularly fancy, but if one looks around, there are items in there which seem too pricy for someone like him to afford.

   Such as a top brand coffee maker. The type that can use those little capsules for each cup, or grind beans to the drinker’s preference.    Further into the house, there’s a computer system which would make NASA envious, where he does all of his work, primarily consisting of background checks, which anyone can hire him to do, entirely legally.    But his skillset is much more extensive than that.

   “So, who am I looking at?” he asks once they’re settled.

   “Her name is Nikita Morse. She works at OffSup too, but she’s a mechanic,” Pero explains, hoping that there won’t be too many follow-up questions.

   “And why am I looking at her?”

   “Because I think someone’s trying to kill her, and it seems to have something to with a nine-year period when the police can’t find any records of her.”

   “Okay. But why am I looking at her?” Will repeats, obviously referring to why his guest has taken an interest in this person at all.

   He doesn’t want to talk to anyone about Niki, and least of all someone who might ridicule him for it, but the man won’t help him unless he answers his questions.

   “She’s a friend,” is all he says, hoping it’ll be enough.

   “You don’t have friends.”

   “She’s the exception.”

   William thinks on that for a moment, studying his guest closely over the rim of his coffee cup while he takes another sip.    He knows that Tovar deliberately avoids making friends with people, and he knows why. So, he has every reason not to believe him.

   “You fucking her?” the man asks, and he damned near throws his coffee at him.

   He doesn’t need to know that. He’s only asking as a way to gauge his guest’s honesty on the subject, which might determine whether or not he agrees to look into it.

   “Yes,” Pero begrudgingly admits through tight jaws, daring the man to try and pry any further, but he wisely decides not to.

   “So, what’s happened to bring you to my door?”

   “There was an accident and now the police are looking into her life, and I got the feeling that they want to find something incriminating about her.    But that might just be how my fucked-up brain interpreted a strained situation… I don’t know,” he offers, hoping that by being a bit more open, Will might feel somewhat more cooperative.

   “You think they’re looking for a scapegoat? For an accident?”

   “It wasn’t an accident. Like I said, there’s stuff in her past that doesn’t add up and I need to know what the hell it is before the cops find out, or I’ll have no chance to protect her.”

   “You actually care about this woman?” his host asks, but with contempt more than incredulity, which makes Pero decide that the conversation is over.

   “Please, just look into it,” he says, before standing and heading for the door, leaving his empty cup on the table.

   On his way back to his house for a shower and some breakfast, and more coffee so that he’ll be able to think rather than just stay awake, it occurs to him that she might not be safe at the hospital either.    Whoever it was that had hit her car, they must’ve left thinking or at least hoping that she’d died, so once they learn that she’s still alive, there’s every chance that they might try to silence her again.

   The thought worries him. But so long as she’s in the ICU she should be safe. There’s too much staff there all the time for any unfamiliar face to slip past. The nurses all know each other and the entire support-staff by name, they have eyes on the patients constantly and because of the very limited timeframes in which loved ones are allowed to visit, they keep track of everyone who comes and goes.

   But his hair is still wet when he returns to the ward, with a thermos mug in his hand since he’d opted to eat in the car on the way instead and has yet to finish the giant espresso that he’d made for himself.    He registers with the nurse at the front desk of the ICU. The nametag on his chest says “Frank”.

   “Sorry about before,” Pero apologizes, to which the nurse looks puzzled, so he adds: “I screamed at you on the phone.”

   “Oh, that’s alright. Most people dislike being called in the middle of the night. But thank you,” Frank replies with practiced ease, no doubt used to verbal abuse on the job. “Nikita’s doing better, so if you like, you can stay with her for a bit.”

   He’s surprised to hear that. It’s only been a couple of hours since she came out of surgery, after all. But it’s good news. And he’s in dire need of good news.

   “Thanks,” he says and then walks over to the third slot where her specialized bed is parked in the middle of an array of machinery, and a blue sheet is all that separates her from the other slots.

   There are four in total, but only one of the others is in use for the time being. Which means that the ward is pretty quiet that morning. The staff is working on computers, writing in charts and quietly talking amongst themselves.    As he sits there, watching Niki fight for every breath, he listens closely to everything around him, trying to learn the noise of the hospital so that he’ll know if something changes.

   But soon enough, looking at her takes hold of his entire focus. She’s so fragile. Breathing on her own but otherwise motionless, in that way that only dead things are motionless. Stationary. Static.    It makes him want to shake her. To provoke some form of a reaction, even just a flutter of her eyelids. But he knows that he can’t.

   He closes his eyes against the uncanny stillness, preferring even the darkness to the visible evidence of her torment. But it isn’t darkness that meets him when the image before him falls away. Instead, the memory of their first time together pops up in his mind.    She had asked him if she could come over for a drink that night, but he’d known as soon as she’d spoken what she’d really meant by that. The words might have concealed her true motives, but her face and body had not.

   She’d walked into his house that evening with a hunger in her eyes. He’d offered her a beer and after just one swig, she’d stepped closer to him, eyeing his lips and licking her own.    The kiss had been chaste. Brief and tentative, like a person about to take a bath, putting their fingers in the water first, to check the temperature. But they’d both wanted more, and they’d both asked for it, with everything except words.

   Her hands had been demanding on his hips, craving friction, and he’d given it to her. She’d been so brave that night, letting him explore her skin, learn her desires and soft spots, her cravings and pleasures. And in turn, he’d shown her his.    In just a couple of hours, they’d learned more about each other than they had in the two years leading up to it.

   He has never failed to make her come. She looks so beautiful when she climaxes that he would never settle for less than getting to see it at least once each time.    She never fails to make him feel complete. More than just satisfied, he feels proud and grateful when she reaches for him. When she tells him how much she loves what he does to her, even when he does his damnedest to tease and frustrate her.    Even when he’s in a mood and needs to take before he can give.

   Those are the only times that he feels ashamed. The only times he worries that she might not let him touch her again. He’s rough when he gets like that, but he never wants to hurt her, or make her scream.    He’s never told her that, but she still knows it. She knows what he feels better than he does himself, but she never tries to teach him how to better understand himself. If that was something he wanted, she assumes that he’d ask for it.

   He opens his eyes again, leaving behind the soft shimmer of the sweat on her skin after she’d come undone for him that first time, within his mind’s eye where nothing can ever destroy it.    He returns to the ICU. Her skin is too dry here, in the air-condition.

   “Good morning, Mr. Tovar,” a familiar voice says to his right, and he looks up to find Doctor Jackson coming to a stop beside him. “I see you’ve been through a shower. Or did you just stick your head in the sprinklers outside?”

   His hair is still not dry. He runs a hand through it to try and get some more air into it.

   “Went home for a bit,” he answers, and she hums in agreement.

   “Good. Don’t forget to take care of yourself too. But anyway, I just wanted to let you know that my shift is over now, and that Doctor Leo will be replacing me for the dayshift. He’ll be coming by in a while to check on her.”

   “How is she?” he asks, hoping to hear that the doc can read something out of all those monitors that he can’t, and that Niki is still improving.

   “You know, throughout all of this, her heart has never faltered,” Penelope says, and there’s admiration in her voice. “Even when she was first brought in, broken and shocked and having lost so much blood, her heart drummed steady and firm.    That’s what convinces me that she’s gonna make it. The machines tell me that her vital signs are good, but I don’t trust them even half as much as a person’s heart.”

   She squeezes his shoulder gently, and then leaves, but her words stay with him. He likes those words. They give him peace of mind.

   A little while later, a nurse he hasn’t met before, another dayshift replacement, approaches him and tells him that he has to leave for a while. He doesn’t protest. But he doesn’t step any further away than that he can still see everyone who walks into her slot.    Doctors and nurses walk in and out, the sheet is pulled back and forth in between procedures and cleaning routines for her wounds, new IV bags are placed. Everything is fine.

   Until he walks in.    Pero knows the moment he sees him, stepping into the ward and stopping to survey the area, that he doesn’t belong. He’s too calm. Practiced sort of calm.    The ICU is a place of distress, either internal or external, but both are visible in all the people who wander around in there, save for the staff.

   This man isn’t here to meet a loved one, he’s here to work. But if he was part of the staff, he wouldn’t need to orient himself in the environment. He wouldn’t stop just inside the door, he’d go to his colleagues, or find the locker rooms and get changed.    Tovar watches him as he locates Niki, stares at her as though she was little more than a sheet of paper, and then turns around and leaves.

   She’s not safe here anymore. But how the fuck is he supposed to get her out of here in her state? Where does one even hide an intensive care patient?

-=¤=-=¤=-=¤=-=¤=-=¤=-=¤=-

Part 2

Thank you for reading, and remember: I have no taglist anymore. Follow @sirowsky-stories and turn on notifications for updates on my writing :)

[jacksgreysays]

i saw this and this is SO perfect for shikako: "ense petit placidam sub libertate quietem" (with the sword, she seeks peace under liberty) - maybe something with the shikabane-hime in the gardens-verse?

Okay anon, I did learn a few things about this phrase, specifically: The phrase is often loosely translated into English as "By the sword we seek peace, but peace only under liberty." The literal translation, however, is "she seeks with the sword peaceful repose under liberty." The "she" in question refers to the word manus from the full phrase manus haec inimica tyrannis ense petit placidam sub libertate quietem, which means "this hand, an enemy to tyrants, seeks with the sword peaceful repose under liberty."

Which, you know, is VERY in flavor of my usual “let’s murder Danzo, that’ll take care of at least 95% of the world’s issues” as seen within the Shikako Nara’s Guide To Delinquency and Military Insurrection series which is basically where I put all of my messing around in the Gardens-verse.

But I find myself interested in the, hm… steps of translation for the phrase… like, the original specifically saying “this hand, an enemy to tyrants” which is then removed from the final phrase. However, the final phrase does still keep the sword and also specifically says peace ONLY under liberty.

So my interpretation of this is: once “this hand, [she who is] an enemy to tyrants,” goes away, all that remains is the sword, ie violence, and the prioritization of liberty over peace. Which actually makes me wonder if… hm… I wouldn’t necessarily say a “dark turn AU” but a… pessimistic version of the “let’s murder Danzo, that’ll take care of at least 95% of the world’s issues.” What happens to Konoha as an institution after Danzo is dead and all of his machinations are brought to light?

ESPECIALLY considering how much he claimed to be merely following the Nidaime’s vision. Imagine the repercussions! The implication that Konoha has been so twisted and rotten from its founding. And I’m not saying it’s a return to the Warring Clans Era, because it’s not as if the clans would necessarily rekindle any issues with each other, but how much of the village infrastructure is suspect? How many people did Danzo influence either with the ROOT seal or with Shisui’s eye?

How many clans then think, we are not free under Konoha?

For example, the twins vows when becoming genin prioritize clan, then allies, then teammates, then the village. (I know they had different vows, but I think that’s roughly the order of priority for both of them?) But I can’t imagine—given Hatake Sakumo’s treatment by Konoha when he saved his teammates and “started the war” (although I do have Danzo-related headcanons for that, of course)—that vow would prevent a court martial or disciplinary action.

So if being a good soldier of Konoha contradicts being a good member of the clan, then the existence of Konoha itself is a contradiction to a clan’s existence—I am, of course, exaggerating for the sake of the premise, and I guess what I’m saying is that the premise is:

Shikako killing Danzo does solve a lot of problems, but then unleashes a whole lot of other problems which, unfortunately, a single murder will not solve. Might be multiple murders. Or maybe a war. Whoops.

Because! The fact that the phrase wasn’t shortened to just “Peace [Only] Under Liberty,” the fact that the “by the sword” part was kept is interesting. But a sword without a hand behind it, a sword without an enemy to target, is just an unsheathed weapon that could harm allies or yourself.

So that is the premise, but I don’t know what the plot would be, per se…

OR maybe this is a universe in which someone that ISN’T multiverse-traveling Shikabane-hime clocks Danzo’s rancid vibes and kills him but without a plan to deal with the fall out or a way to deescalate the situation. Like… if it were Shisui and/or Itachi who killed Danzo but in a kind of panicked way. The Uchiha clan is already SO SUSPICIOUS to the rest of the village (at least, that’s the impression they’ve been given) so they can’t come out with a laundry list of Danzo’s crimes and everything will be fine.

Okay, this isn’t the prompt necessarily, but the idea of two freaked out teenage Uchiha just panic whispering to each other over the corpse of Danzo who they just killed while Shikako watches from the shadows, bemused, because… well… they beat her to the punch, but also they have no idea what they’re doing. It’s very funny.

[jorrated]

Some super stray thoughts I had while reading STCO so far:

Knuckles would NOT prioritize his past over Tikal’s suffering are you crazy in the head!!!!

Zak Simond-Hurn’s art is really charming, if it wasn't for the digital onomatopoeias, I wouldn’t mind having this style by a base for an official sonic comic! The design for the red echidna villain however… HM. Not pleasing to the eye.

I like that Ebony are having a bigger role on the fist few issues! But also Ebony’s constantly referring to Super as his friend and doing things to bring him back. Like I get it but also is this going to be her only trait now? Girl…

And porker is going on adventures again. Actually I don’t think they ever explained why Porker went back to being more adventurous in the og comic, participating in Chaos defeat and all. Not against it, and I like to see he still has a bit of bite and wasn't reduced to only a coward, tho it would’ve been cool to see at least a comment on how hes back on “adventuring”.

It’s cool to see Amy dealing with grief over Jhonny (I’ve given up trying to write his name correctly, too weird for me), but IDK. Amy probably was the best grounded character in that situation, so it feels weird to see her distressed over it? I don’t know how to explain it but in my eyes, Amy’s grief for Jhonny would definitively be more melancholic than scary/guilty. I’m glad they are trying to flesh out Amy more, but it doesn’t feel very cohesive with the comic to me. And Jhonny-zombie the killer… a bit tacky but in a funny way.

WHO…. Designed Vichama. I just want to talk. Tell me why you made him look that way. What is that. What went through your head. Dude. I get that Ebony has considerably more anthro body features than the other animal characters, but I feel like Vichama crosses the line into the “gross valley”. If he were drawn closer to how Zachary is I probably wouldn’t care, he probs would’ve looked like an Archie character. But the bulging muscles are kinda upsetting to look at. Cover up man.

So Shadow was created by some enemies of the echidnas. Noted.

Big and the Drakon prosecutor are actually really cute. I like them. Knuckles trying to break Ebony’s spell on Tikal is making me fume. HE WOULDN'T TRY TO DO THAT!!!!! He maybe would be a little desperate trying to trigger some memories but he wouldn't knowingly hurt someone to get information!!!! There is a pannel tho in this part of the comic that makes Knux ask “Where is Porker” and then “Where is the emeralds”. THAT is Knuckles to me, checking in on people before anything else.

Knuckles not being able to carry Big is bullshit. KNUCKLES PUNCHES ROCKS IN HALF LMAO. It’s fine I assume they need to be separated for a reason.

ROUGE STICK LEGS. Somebody please give my girl a double cheeseburger with extra fries and a big gulp of soda.

Actually I love that Rouge is a cunt here. Girlboss!!!! Stole this dudes emeralds AND left them to die, queen shit. Didn’t work but she did have the intent to kill them.

Big wouldn’t eat his friends….. He’d never eat Froggy, and DP (Drakon Prosecutor) even tho looks like a fish, Big considers a friend. BIG WOULDNT THINK ABOUT EATING HIS FRIENDS!!! HE IS A KIND BIG GUY!!!!!!!!!!!! ← most egregious mistake until now. Fucking funny tho can you imagine dying by vore They kept Mighty funny, that’s good.

MMMMN. I like that Sonic is consistently arachnophobic. Really nice continuity. How he first met Shadow tho… It felt underwhelming? Like yeah we know they were going to meet some time but IDK. The framing/pacing is weird to me. Either have them meet quickly at the start of the issue and Sonic is like “IDK WHO that guy is but I don’t like him!!!” or have them meet at the end of the issue, but only show Shadow in shadow (lol) to hook to the next issue. Shadow’s bland ass “I am Shadow” has the same energy as two kindergartners introducing themselves first day of school.

Shadow’s personality is interesting tho. I like him being a bit cocky but not too much, it’s a good take on him, plus he bounces off Sonic pretty well. I do wonder what the hell they’re going to do with him tho.

Awn… acknowledgment of some of the chaotix families… Blockhead Bill my dude

Tikal being given more of a spotlight is neat. It doesn’t give her much, but it’s refreshing to see her thoughts and intentions. However, I can’t help but think that she was mainly inserted to aid Knuckles and be a well of angst. Like IDK, Knuckles has moments mourning his past, or wondering if he will ever understand his ancestors, and Tikal well… She sees things rather than feel? If that makes sense? Like in this comic she is able to see a bit of the past and think “wow this is horrible! Must be a nightmare!” but she doesn’t feel despair? Or anything much? The only moment so far she felt despair was to make Knux Angst, like “ooooh shes suffering so we need to wipe her memories, that means Knuckles wont have his backstories :(“. Smells fishy.

Oh wow, Shadow has an actually interesting backstory here. It gives a reason to follow Robotnik, hate Sonic, not give a shit, aaaand its ambiguous enough you can probably pull off whatever. Fucking congrats STCO writers.

Fave image. What the fuck are they even doing here. Freaks.

Hm. No thoughts on Shadows maybe death. Thematically it’s interesting and all, but we don’t get enough time with him to give a shit. Unless I’m reading it wrong it seems like Shadow is sacrificing himself to save Robotnik, but IDK.

Grimer develops a situatioship depression.

2007 ANTI-ASIAN RACISM. BAD.

Bro what’s with this Knuckles characterization. He would NOT be mean to Tikal. If anything he’d probably be a bit overbearing, trying to give attention to her even if she didn’t want it. I get trying to tie him living his whole life alone being overwhelmed and feeling frustrated that Tikal can’t give him answers, but he wouldn't treat her like crap what is this. I like Porker’s and Knux bro moment, but that doesn’t make up for treating Tikal badly for no reason. Where’s her catharsis? She’s probably just as confused and desperate as Knuckles but she doesn't get any of these moments. Sigh. This idea could’ve definitely worked if Tikal was pushier or more imposing, but like she doesn’t do much, so Knuckles just snaps and it feels off. Knuckles’s stories are probably the issues with the biggest potential, but the writers for sure squander him the most, whomp whomp.

“One of Sonic’s fears is seeing Amy settle down with someone else” no it isn’t shut the fuck up. And the fact they put this on the same level of fear as Jhonny death is deranged.

The tonal whiplash between character comics is p funny honestly. You’ll have one really serious comic followed by a comedic one, lil bit of a mood killer. I guess STC also did this, but to me it at least wasn't jarring like this. Like how am I supposed to process Big getting shot, after Knux and Tikal experiencing the worst nightmare of their lives, living the trauma of seeing million of dead echidnas, after Vector put angel island as a security fund for his ship LMAO.

SONIC CHARACTERS HELPINH OUT THE POLICE SFAJHBJHBWRKJBJB??????!!!!!!!!????????????????????!!!!!!!!!????????11111111!!!!!!!111!!!!111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate this actually.

These Shorty and Tekno comics…… I don’t know what it is about them but god. I just don’t like them! Firstly that now it seems they are a completely separated duo from the rest of the team. Like They don’t interact with Sonic or Amy or whatever. Secondly.. Shortfuse is TOO nice. It doesn’t feel like him where is his tantrums??? And this isn’t a diss on the artstyle itself, cause I think it looks pretty nice and cute, but I don’t think it’s really fitting for the characters? Tekno and Shorty look like they’re in a shoujo manga.

I really like how Sonic is now a loser LOL. He got canceled to hell and back.

Finally Rouge makes and appearance. Kinda only realized how little she showed up during the SA2 adaptation.

Grimer destroying Sonic’s reputation is actually kinda nice. I like that they acknowledge his Robotnik situationship depression, tho I think it’s a bit over the top have him be behind EVERYTHING. Still like it tho. Go gross boy go! (Also the art in this issue is REALLY solid, wow, Zak Simond-Hurn really is my favorite artist from the STCO group).

At some point I think I need to stop complaining about Knux’s characterization. But I Do Not Like How They Write My Boy. Doc Zach is still serving cunt so that’s great. Go grandpa go!

It’s kinda awesome to see how the issues expanded through STCO’s run, but I think having so many stories at the same time kinda makes stuff bloated. Like I’m sure I’ll forget some parts of this, even if they are short bits. Like do we really need to follow 2 sonic stories and 2 amy stories at the same time? I think it would’ve been better to pace this with a limit of 3-4 stories MAX per issue. And then once a character story is done, release the next story with the same character. Sonic and Knuckles are kinda always going to be there, having the biggest pull on the comic’s lore and story, so the other ones could cycle out between amy, tekno, shorty, tails, sonic’s world, chaotix, and so on. I haven’t read some of the other non-sonic stories like decap n attack, but those could be thrown in the cycle too!

Actually I love that DP is just hanging out in Big’s restaurant. It’s goofy I really love it.

I wonder how old Sonic’s gang is supposed to be here. Like in theory some years have passed in the comic, but how many. It’s not important at all but Amy is seen drinking wine with Chrysalis and it’s like?? Is she a kid?? Is she an adult?? Is she underage drinking? Again it’s not a big deal, and I don’t even think these characters need a specific age but IDK this was odd to me.

Oof the multiple stories at the same type problem came instantly. I like how Amy acknowledges the losses of the group, Sonic is “evil”, Jhonny is dead, Tekno is missing and stuff, Porker has PTSD and cant fight… But like. That feels so weird when you have a story right next to it with Amy and Tekno together!!! This is why the pacing and bloating feels whack, the comic has continuity with SOME of the stories but not all so its confusing. I know the OG comic had moments like these but because it had less stories per issue, it was way less noticeable, and usually were one-off stories I think.

And on the topic of Porker, I did mention before how he just kinda.. went back to being more adventurous? But know the comic insists that he can’t do it? Man this is kinda messy. I don’t mind Porker starting to become more adventurous again and then maybe regressing a bit in recovery, being too much for him, but it doesn’t feel like that is what it’s being intended here. It feels like someone read STC and maybe skimmed on STCO and then wrote this, so it feels out of place? Like you have porker in the first issue of STCO going on a mission no problems at all, but then on another issue he goes on a mission to blow up an eggman database or smth and hes freaking the fuck out being nervous all the time. Like which is it!!!!! I don’t mind him progressing and regressing on his trauma but at least acknowledge or be consistent with it! Is it because the underwater mission didn’t involve Robotnik? Is that it? Who knows.

I get that Knux and the crew planned to bait Zachary and shit, but like, then why did they act like that in the previous issue? Like the plan was to break the shield so why did Porker said to Knux be careful about it? Girl. This information is only given to bait and switch the audience and it doesn’t work. Porker and Knux have no reason to pretend to not have a plan when they are alone what.

Tails working with cops I’m going to kill myself.

Oh so like. The special zone is dead for real. Like for real FR. Jesus. Could’ve let the characters grieve a bit huh.

Really liked the #250 issue (Tho its funny that I complained about the number of stories per issue, and then #250 has ONE story LOL)! It’s awesome to see the different arts from the varied artists on the STCO team. And even with my complains and whining, it’s an impressive project full of love, good to see stuff like this!

TURBO TURBO TURBO MY BOY TURBO!!!!

The art on this issue is great but some of the flow of the dialogue is off, as in, sometimes I don’t know which speech bubble I’m supposed to read next, cause usually you go left to right, but it seems this story follows top to bottom for speech bubbles and left to right to panel. Not awful but it did throw me off, and it does fuck up the pacing.

um. hi shadow? ok.

(Only read until issue #250)

[beneathsilverstars]

MY ENTIRE ISAT LIVEBLOG

COPY PASTED FROM TWITTER LET'S GO!!!

oh my god i love isabeau

the correct reaction to an incredibly mediocre pun:

when i talked to odile i said i was gonna make isabeau sleep on the floor but that is NOT true

i was about to say i love all the sparkly stars aesthetic but... the game is literally named after them.... i shoulda known

omg isabeau what were you about to confess 😳👉👈

rock paper scissors is being explained to me in such painstaking depth... but the dialogue is cute, so it's ok

wtf i looped back to the town specifically in order to ask the cook about the openphrase for the one door but there's no option to ask!!

it was the shopkeeper 🤦🏼

so curious about siffrin's touch thing... it makes sense other people might be more conscious of a subconscious reaction to touch than he is, but he's so avoidant of the train of thought, i feel like it must be something a bit less.. subtle...?

damn... tryna give mirabelle the fan mail for the second time.... yikes :( so sorry mira........ is that what happened to the island to the north...? something about it got so retconned that it makes people sick to focus on the exact change?

oh.. siffrin's major memory problems.....

this game is sooo good

siffrin seems upset in the observatory.. at first i thought they were just getting tired/grouchy, but the game sure is named after stars... maybe stars had to do with their past trauma..??

i'm starting to wonder if this isn't their first set of loops and the bone-deep burden of all that (along with the practicalities of your memories constantly not matching reality) is why they forget words and shit....

went and looked at the castle again this loop bc i felt bad that sif never gets to sit down...

king asked if sif remembers REMEMBERS WHAT??? i just knowww after i terribly lose this fight im gonna have to go back through the whole game unlocking new rooms that like unlock my memories or smth

"not when i still can't say it" ofc the king is from the northern island... sif is obviously from there too, and that's why he can't remember most of his past... so that's the thing they both don't remember?

defeated him but like. there's still so many locked doors. i bet like sif is gonna go to sleep and they wake up from the nap like WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M STILL IN THE LOOP?? WE WON?? but they didn't win correctly yet, they didn't actually solve everything that needs solved...

head handmaiden ma'am 😳

is odile's research genealogy??

i thought the reference to "colors" being an esoteric/irrelevant topic was a one-off gag about the art style, but it's plot relevant?? fuck yeah

what if odile is trying to figure out the northern island..??

OHHHHHH

BWAHHH the bonnie quest 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

first time redoing the mira quest.... siffrin!!! be brave!!!!! not only is your new idea good, even if it was bad you could just say oops oh well and switch the script back next loop!!!!!

is siffrin gonna have to learn how to be brave and normal in order to break the loop jdhshdjf (normal here meaning "not a loop-brained convomaxxer")

i hope siffrin can just ask the baker's daughter directly for the book this time hdhdjfj i don't really think the whole goose chase is necessary for the emotional convo.....

oh thank god

ugh i can't wait till sif tells his friends about the loop. is that gonna be sif's quest

HANG OUT QUEST!! YES!!!

hm.. is loop the deity of the northern island..? if stars and astronomy are like their whole thing....

INTERRUPTED AGAIN!!!!!!! AGHHGH!!!!! i know isa can't actually confess till the very end bc it would suck having to go through more loops knowing he likes you but he hasn't actually told you / if you go through a loop post-confession surely that would change quite a bit of dialogue

but AHHHHHH!!!!

oh my god siffrin is going beast mode on the tutorial sadness?? i had to choose "attack" bc it seemed the most different and thus interesting but also omg... there goes the warm friendship glow 😭😭

but ofc that glow would die a horrible sudden death anyway the moment siffrin is confronted with the fact that he is back on that damn loop grind :(

poor thing 😭😭😭😭😭😭

INSTANT REPLAY??????????

the loop power is getting stronger.. u~u;;

I KNEW IT WOULD EVENTUALLY GET WEIRD THAT SIF'S SUCH A HIGH LEVEL... just a couple loops ago i was like damn when is everyone else gonna notice that sif has like multiple crafts that they didn't yesterday

also i noticed a loop or so ago that their battle portrait is frowning and.. i don't think it always was.....?

oh my god the memory of sadness is kinda fucked up but. so useful jdhshfj im tired of avoiding them in the hallway,,

ok but also how do my teammates not notice that they have new equipment, and sometimes a new craft..... in the case of like a hair bow that's easy to gloss over but how does isabeau not go "wtf i'm dealing paper damage?" ??

the problem w telling your friends you're in a time loop is it must be such a fucking relief. and then you loop again

aw, sif.. tell them about the universe...

lol how funny would it be if i died to the rock this time

oops... i'm doing a big check-everything run, but i absolutely didn't do all the village stuff bc i was too excited to help isa... oh well,

i did idly connect that the "weird sadnesses" smell like sugar same as the king's time magic which makes, but i finally just actually thought about it and realized they're also star shaped....

siffrin having this time loop power... is it anything at all like mirabelle's time-resistance power, blessed upon her by the high priestess? did siffrin escape from their fucked up time island, sent out with the power to eventually save it?

odile is sooo close to figuring it out... she just said "verRrRy interesting"

BWAHH new post-level-2 convos!! so cute!!!!! love bonnie's new siffrin-patting routine..... and odile has it SO figured out, when is she gonna say something!!!

siffrin was afraid that he smells like timecraft? bc of looping or bc of repressed reasons.... probably bc of looping,

time for siffy's daily bathroom stall breakdown!!

they even went in happy this time and still managed to psych themself all the way out hdgshsjf

GHOST SIF??? GHOST SIF ON THE WAY TO THE KEYKNIFE??????

BWAHHH ODILE RUFFLING SIF'S HAIR!!! I WAS WAITING AND WAITING FOR MORE PEOPLE TO PICK UP ON IT BEING OK TO TOUCH THEM!!!

"in this moment, you are loved" god it is going to be so hard waking up next loop 😭

HAIR BRUSHING!!! THIS IS SO PEAK

i'm worried that the king's "isn't this the best moment of your lives" rhetoric is going to slowly gain appeal as sif goes through more and more loops... like. they crafted the perfect loop with their found family. they *can't* change it any more, make it any better. ...

EHAT DO U MEAN "NVM" ISA!!!!!! oh my god i can't believe you won't confess until siffrin is like more emotionally centered and open and ready to handle that kind of thing... why r u sooo considerate -_- ur killin them isa

oh my god why is it even worse why is the end of the loop even worse this time oh my GOD sif is gonna be inconsolable I'M inconsolable not isabeau reaching out im sobbing on da couch

ngl i kinda hope this time siffrin is just defeated and doesn't banter about shit and everyone is worried as fuck. sorry sif i just think it would be interesting. that flash of him slaughtering the tutorial sadness was so sick. esp the unique auto-rewind. more of that shit

they did the first convo w mira fine.. nvm i guess.... if that never happens that's gonna be my first fanfiction

another ghost siffrin... after i looped to unlocked floor one to look for articles....... :o

not beau saying "normally i'd be worried about this, but sif doesn't seem worried at all!" when i'm about to touch the tear specifically in order to die...

did the king used to hang out in the observatory... did he write that word (the country's name?) on the papers, and wear out the spot on the globe....... he did find a new home here in vougarde such that he's decided that he can't lose this one too, at all, ever...

i got to loop 30 and i was surprised bc i figured i was at like 25 tops. and now im at 37? i don't think it's been 7 loops since then...???

i've started dreaming about the tick of a clock.. i'm kinda worried i've started wracking up too many loops... i did just zip back and forth across the house a half dozen times checking various items and dead ends....

AHH AUTO REWIND FROM KING ASKING WHERE SIF IS FROM???? followed by "you do not answer" which. implies that wasn't the case before the rewind.?? maybe more like "you do not think about it" l o l oh sif 😭😭😭

i was about to complain that it won't let me zone out of the dying-and-bonnie-running scene but um. different this time. thank you for not letting me zone out,

YEAH IT'S LOOP 40 NOW!! this is right after loop 37 (with a small auto-rewind between)

😭😭😭😭😭😭 isabeau pleeeeease:

hanging out with loop and - we saw the kings first attack?? but how would the rest of the party even get that far without sif?? they'd die to the first rock trap????

oh good sif noticed too. "who was the king attacking".... did a siffrin remnant help the party, has he looped so many times that he can be in multiple places at once???

was the king kmsing??? who tf would he be attackinggg

does the loop end when siffrin loses hope?? but no, then the very first time they defeat the boss they wouldn't have looped... but no, if the handmaiden is just talking shit unrelated to the looping then that coulda still made sif think the loop was fucked, which fucked the loop?

it's kinda heavy how many times you have to k your s in this game... esp when you don't actually have to but it's, like, more convenient than 5-30 extra minutes of running around

siffrin tripping so they don't seem so creepily overpowered is SO sad 😭

fsr it's sadder than going through the motions of a conversation, or tripping bc you tripped last time... it's a whole new lie to offset a whole new problem...

oh yeah my other loop theory was that it ends when siffrin gets too reminded of the northern island..? the memory of the future or whatever the fuck from the big attack idk

siffrin rewinded after his friends saw the ghost.... kinda matches my "when he loses hope" theory. when he feels alone? when he's utterly lost with no clue what to do next..? (lol sif restarting every loop just bc he doesn't have plans for what to do after winning)

NOOO I WAS SO EXCITED TO NOT HAVE TO GO GET THE KNIFEKEY EVERY TIME BUT I DO HAVE TO... BOOOOO...... where's the consistency, loop!!!

i can use a memory to equip it for the boss fight but idc as much about that.... i just wanted to be able to check out the dead end rooms more often instead of having to use the crest to get the knifekey every time....

memory of ghosts, no effect??

oh, the vision of the future happens on the first attack always.. not when the king kills you always...

having the knifekey for the fight kinda isn't worth it.. siffrin only has one measly paper attack anyway, so i usually have them on potions and items duty.... gotta keep mira brothed up so she can cast the super duper shield every single turn

"it's fine. she isn't real to you right now either" god siffrin is gonna be so fucked up when they get out. siffrin is gonna have "everyone else is an NPC" brain

finished doing all four quests together for the second time, and sif's commentary at the end is reeally hitting my "eventually sif will understand the king's pov of wanting to freeze one perfect moment forever instead of going forward to inevitably worse shit" theory :(

"you've noticed you're starting to forget whole loops" AHA...... i'm so curious tho what was sif doing in those skipped loops. ig presumably it'd be whatever they did in the next loop that they actually remember? sticking to the plan several times in a row till it sticks,

does loop remember the skipped loops??

hm. whenever the loop ends early Not due to death (the little auto-reverses) maybe sif just.. forgot everything after that moment? till the normal king attack moment ....? or whatever death they find?

i wonder if the headache of not being able to say/read/think about the northern island is caused by many tiny loops, sending you back to the moment before you said/read/thought it, happening however many times it takes for the rapid time travel to make you so sick you just don't

i teach kid's music classes, and sometimes i'll practice one or two dozen verse variations, then i get to actual class and when i actually do that song i can't remember which variations i've already done? and it gets worse with each class i teach from that lesson plan. so dw siffrin i get it,

ok but wtf is up with the head handmaiden. what's she got to do with this. she's obviously more involved than she seems, she knows Something about the end. and imo it's sus that she was able to bless mirabelle to be impervious to the curse, how's she able to do that.

assuming that the king used to live in the house (spending lots of time in the observatory), euphrasie would've gotten to know him... perhaps seen the beginnings of him getting fucked up powerful...? thought she could handle it on her own but she couldn't?

are the mini auto-loops a meta "reload from last save"? i think it's the same quick rewind sound as actually reloading... i don't do it super often bc why not just loop back and keep my silly little mistake in, but i've done it 2 or maybe 3 times....

this game does such a good job starting in medias res. level 45!! i'm past 70 now. i feel like there's a definite chance i'll hit 90 which means siffrin will have done as much fighting in these loops as they did with their friends through months of travel and adventure.

choosing all the emo answers to the loop convo about how using your dagger would be faster than finding a tear to kill you. sorry frin not my fault you are depressed as fuck

LOOP GOT POSSESSED IN ORDER TO ALLOW ME TO K MY S MANUALLY??????? ??????? damn i had something actually important to talk about this loop too

I HATE PICKING CONVERSATION CHOICES WITH LOOOOOP I WANT TO SEE THE OUTCOME OF BOTH OPTIONS IM SO SPOILED!!!!

AHHHH FRIN FIGURED OUT THAT IT's THEIR COJNTRY! THEY TALKED ABt JT! THEY TRIED TO SAY IT!! BWAHHHHHHHH that was so fucking sadddd oh my godddddddd sif's poor clueless friends trying to stop whatever the fuck was happenin 😭😭

is the king's 9999 attack just saying the country's name, lol

wish craft . . .

oh my god oh my god he's gonna torture my friends to death in front of me oh my god holy shit oh my god oh no oh no oh no oh no

say the name siffrin!!! think the name!!!!!!! it'll fuck you up bad enough that you loop!

oh... sif is repeating their wish over and over..... like when they carve

well. finally a loop where sif wakes up freaking out so bad that their script with mirabelle gets way way off track. lol. just like i wanted. haha. shit

I CAN READ THE ISLAND BOOKS NOW???????? damn worth it fr sorry bonbon

i forget if i mentioned that i was thinking about how siffrin doesn't rly have much to look forward to, like his friends are about to disband...?

i was chatting w ari about it lol when she helped me defeat the king earlier, she was very concerned about how sif didn't have a home to return to, all his friends were talking about going back to their homes but where would sif go, isn't that sad

speaking of ari. very four year old raised by lesbians quote: "i like isabeau's name but i don't like his gender..."

siffrin dont get emo about how they don't hug you that first evening you literally already know why, they think you don't like it

damn. forgot about the rock

i had been thinking that the way the island was erased must be similar to the way the loops work, but couldn't fathom how time manip could erase a whole island. the magic being more general makes more sense. did someone wish away color as well....

i love magic systems where belief in a thing makes it more real but jeez this is scary

i was pretty on track with guessing that non-death loops happen when siffrin loses hope. it's whenever he goes oh fuck oh god i wish that hadn't happened

gotta say. i'm getting soo sick of running around unlocking doors so that i can go down a tear dead end for the nth time. plssss let me loop to "some doors unlocked; tear crest not used" 😭

i'm also starting to get low on loop-forward sparkles...

oh wow. siffrin had a really bad dream this tear-touch loop-back. i really can't ever use the dagger he would get plagued by the horrors. not that he isn't already, but,

i love to draw characters with horrifiedly blank expressions and very very tired eyes i can't wait to draw siffrin. lol

this game was made in a lab for me

every time i accidentally get into a fight with a sadness i'm like "siffrin is so fucked up at this point he should be able to just glare at them and scare them the fuck off" and then i remember that i literally currently have that mode equipped, me and the sadness just dodged in the same direction

can i at least get a memory that lets me one-hit KO the sadness crests- wait holy shit i just opened my craft menu and i literally have a new scissor craft called (just attack) when tf did i get that

.... was siffron's island erased specifically because they got gud at wish craft, and that's a power that the world shouldn't be able to harness...?

OH FUCK THE "remembering the name" STAR WAS SO SYMBOLICALLY STRIKING THAT I DIDN'T RVEN REALIZE THAT IT WAS ACTUAL COLOR...

nooo.. no one even reacted to being poked in the gardening room squeeze? right when sif needs it the most? let's make this set of the loops the worst set ever 🤗

what the Fuck is up with croissants though

i can't believe loop got siffrin to admit to themself that beau was planning to confess and siffrin is just using it to beat themself up. "poor isabeau, he probably can't help having a crush on shitty ol me".

i wish i could give siff a good loop but doing the missions makes them sad now 😭

wow. earlier i was like "what if the king is actually siffrin, weird-magic-shenanigans style". bc sif does have some similar thought patterns. but i was like no that's silly. but now this sad diary is talking abt making another self to talk to????

i also wondered if loop is some kinda shade of siffy??

i am writing this tweet while i let siffrin look through the big window in the observatory for a while. as a treat :(

OH THANK GOD.. ISABEAU IS TELLING SIF A NEW JOKE...: that's a much better treat 😭😭😭😭

oh no nvm their second thought was "i'll need to remember to laugh next time"

why don't siff's friends react anymore when he pokes them in the gardening room. it doesn't make sense.....

finally.. my "sif is quiet and moody and everyone notices" loop.......

sif has been super hungry in the commentary lately... more than normal i think... all those wish loops taking a lot of fuel?

have ppl not been reacting to sif's pokes bc they don't want to bother him when he's already obviously having a rough day...

i liked when they sat on the floor after bumping into the table. so real

finally got that death talk with bonnie.... i wonder when i'll get talk #2 with the other characters... odile has been quite sus of me for ages when's she gonna come out with ittt

ISABEAU PUSHING SIFFRIN AWAY.... probably bc siffrin was being very... sudden and depressed and desperate about it...?

did the daydreaming one's sister move to the northern island or something...

THE LIST IN EUPHRASIE's OFFICE!! it's who wished to save vougarde, and who wished for something else!!

bwuh. thinking about the strength behind the wish "i wish i hadn't fucking done that" when you reach out to someone and they push you away

loop confirmed/unified my theories about why siffrin loops back without death sometimes heheh... the specific wording of "something that feels like the world is ending" or whatever also seems in line with my theory that siffrin is scared of leaving their friends tomorrow

they've got croissant trauma. they've got banana trauma. a cheap continental breakfast is siffrin's worst nightmare

poetic that euphrasie finally heard and replied to me on loop 99. waking up on the big double O more hopeless than ever! ☺️

gotta say it so funny that siffrin is forcing themself to try to get everyone's skills in order to beat the king faster when i beat him easily in probably less than half a dozen rounds last time. forgot to even equip the keyknife! these half-assed quests are taking longer than that...

fucked up house??????

i keep accidentally walking right back out of the door i walked into, lol. this is fun though!

also. ghost ✨???

oh.. the ghost ✨ figure i saw was siffrin, with a black hat..?

maybe.. this is the universe's way of granting both wishes...... vougarde is saved, but stuck in time forever. looping the same day of salvation.

i had wondered what would happen if (once?) siffrin totally lost hope, sure that there was no chance of ever, ever getting out. bc when they lose hope they restart. so they'd just. restart immediately. constant loop. with no chance to do anything to regain that hope.

ghost sif time :3c

mal du pays means homesickness...

SIFFRIN TRIPPED AND IZA CAUGHT HIM.. they're touching !

i've been playing at work but i have to stop and actually do some work now.... ty for taking good naps today baby :')

i can't believe mirabelle and siffrin are canonically moirails now

BUT... BUT WHY DOES SIFFRIN HATE CROISSANTS???

also i saw something on a map i was using about a starry hat?? i never got a new hat...

i also never managed to find the book with the tree on the cover again, now that i could read it...

i'm gonna have to find a full 100%ed playthrough to watch on youtube 🫡

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reading through ISAT socmed... the first time i saw one of the in-world swears in the game i was like "lol stormlight archive vibes" so it's very funny that one of the first posts i see is "my world building advice is to learn from brandon sanderson" i was sooo right. so true

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makes no sense to me that mirabelle asked siffrin to not spoil her on their convo topics... not spoil on where the convos *went* sure, but how does she not want to know the basic facts that siffrin now knows about her 😭 so wild

if one of my friends was in a time loop i would be like. please sit down and summarize everything we ever talked about so i can be caught up. but thats just me

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found some youtube video compilations of missable dialogue/events we are so back

AGHH why does this person not show the full cutscenes 😭😭😭 pls i don't want to have to do a whole ass entire top to bottom loop w like 20 object interactions...... maybe i'll just do it at work tomorrow while the baby naps 😩

at least it was pretty easy getting the initial croissant scene ☺️ but i am NOT redoing the entire last two acts to get the related final loop scene or whatever it is -_-

yayy that one's big enough that i found a video of it ☺️ i do wish i'd been able to do it in game myself instead, but. not redoing half the blinding game rn

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i Am doing a full loop to get the odile thing though... and in doing so i realized apparently i didn't go through the friend quests manually enough times, sif just had a bit of a mental breakdown abt odile's. which does lead up to the last-loop breakdown better!

NOOO I WAS 3/4 OF THE WAY THRU THIS LOOP TO GET A CERTAIN SCENE AND i was on autopilot and meant to use a crest on the tears but i didn't have the crest yet so selecting "yes" meant touching them and dying fuck meee

i hadn't saved at each floor bc i didn't want to touch my save files w this new offshoot canon...

i'm not actually quite sure what info gets carried over from the previous loop when you loop back to the same floor instead of the beginning or forwards? i'm just gonna try and do floor 3 again and see if it works....

either relooping level 3 messed it up or i wasn't able to get enough suspicion points bc the plantain chips didn't make me sick. gonna go slip on the banana five times and try again

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... i just used the dagger for the second time and now i'm stuck on a plain black screen and i legitimately can't tell if the game is broken or if the game is making me sit and wait for sif to bleed out

ok it's definitely a bug. wow this is so poignant it really does feel like i fucked around and found out

this is so funny i can open my pockets but i can't use the dagger or call loop.

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I DID IT I GOT THE SCENE!! it was good i'm glad i saw it. wish i hadn't fucked up and had to do it all twice but i DID IT

[sable-skies]

I wanna see some drama.

Rank the Chain from 'good boy' to 'MY SCRIMBLO. MY BLORBO. BRAIN PARASITE. LITTLE STINK MAN BABY BOY'

oh boy this is gonna be interesting.

okay okay so lets make a few things clear: I haven't played every zelda game, so my opinions on the boys are mostly based on vibes or my personal headcanons for them! For reference, I've played a lot of modern loz games, but not a lot of the old ones. so take my opinions with the biggest grain of salt :]

We'll go in ascending order of good boy to scrimblo, because i love the dramatics.

9. Good Lad - Time.

Okay, I'm so sorry to all the OoT and MM enjoyers out there, but I do not care for these games. I have no attachment to them, and growing up on the internet in the late 2000s and early 2010s, where everyone and their mom acted like OoT was the tits with fries, has forever kinda ruined my relationship with those games. I acknowledge what they did for the series, and that they're important for 3D Zelda's as a whole, but holy shit. People on the internet were OBNOXIOUS

That being said, I still love Time! I'm more attached to him via the Hero's Shade rather than his own games, but I still like him regardless. I don't have many thoughts on him though past enjoying that he acts like a perpetually old man. Yknow that one post thats like "hey grandpa." "THE WARRR" "okay." Thats him.

Overall, 10/10 lad, I enjoy him a lot and I feel like he'd be nice to me so we're even steven.

8. Gooder Lad - Warriors.

It's been so long since I've played Hyrule Warriors, and I never played its DLC because I was a poor teenager at the time, but I appreciate the captain a lot! He's only higher than Time because I've actually played his games, so a technicality really.

Otherwise I love this slightly arrogant but otherwise whole and good hearted fella, and I love it when people give him dragon imagery. I also like to think he might be the most normal guy out of the entire group, like he's got a 401K and a retirement organized back in his time, so when he talks to everyone else and learns that they're literally just wild children he's like "huh. hm."

7. Gooby Lad - Wind.

THE GROUP BABEY!! THE ITTY BITTY FELLA!! Love him, love him so much. It's been years since I played Wind Waker and I never played Phantom Hourglass, but I loved this guys whole 100+ personality and everything. And dude, his whole journey being one fueled by personal stakes to get his sister back? Love it, absolutely love it.

I like to think he's the group baby at 13, with Four being 14, and it pisses him off endlessly. He wants to grow up so he can be of use to everyone around him, but little does he know that everyone wants to protect him because they want him to enjoy his youth, not like the rest of them who lost it in some form or another. Overall, excellent lad.

6. Goodest Lad - Four.

Again, did not play this dude's games, but I read the Four Swords manga so I'm a bit more familiar with his whole vibe. Hell a couple of years ago I did a headcanon post on how he divides into four people (based on personality theories), and I like his depth because of it.

I also love how he's probably given too much responsibility because of his maturity within the group, he's still a kid but because he acts a lot older sometimes the others just kinda forget. I also like to think that when he's having an internal/emotional issue he'll write up a note, split himself, and let the four figure it out. they'll find the note and it says some shit like "20 minutes. Figure it out. (please)"

Also he's excellent material for the burnt out gifted child. Love that for him.

5. The slightest of scrimblo - Hyrule

THIS DUDEEEE a few years ago I kinda dipped back into LU for a bit and found this artist that made some fucking like. renaissance shit for him and that's what unlocked my love for this dude. Unfortunately, I cannot remember the artist so i must live with the memory.

I really like how alone he was in his journey, how he only had the land and nature itself to guide him and offer comfort. Love how when he enters a bigger group he has to learn how to work in that setting, alongside maybe come out of his wilderness tended shell. Also I like to think that his possible fae traits make him a bit more uncanny than people realize.

4. A bit more blorbo - Sky

Eepy guy (just like me FRRR), overall fatigued but still kind hearted fella, I love it. I loved his game (fuck you Arin Hansen /j), and I love the personal stakes he has in that game as well. It's actually the only LoZ game that makes me a ZeLink truther, because otherwise I'm neutral on it.

What I also enjoy about him a lot is the untapped terrifying energy he could have. He's a god-killer, Hylia's Chosen Hero, he may not show it a lot, but I think he has the potential to really fuck some shit up but chooses kindness. I would love to write something someday where he's forced to choose otherwise.

But yeah squishy soft guy oh my goodness wubwuwbuwbuwbwubwb :33333

3. Blorbo parasitism - Wild.

The first parasite. The first brainworm on this list. I need to get an anti-parasite antibiotic.

OBVIOUSLY all the angst and buildup from his games is so much fun. I love when he has an internal crisis of going back to who he was 100 years ago, a quiet and burdened knight, or allowing himself to remain free-spirited and a bit deranged that his new life has given him. It's such a fun dynamic. And of course, I love his bond with Twilight. I think he needs someone to set him on the right path every once in awhile.

I also like to think he has a subtle undead quality to him. Similar to his mentor, something is inherently wrong with him on a spiritual or magical level, but that's for later. (maybe)

2. The ultimate stink - Twilight.

THE GUY!!! MY FAVORITE GUY!! No matter what he will always be the number 1 Link incarnation in my heart. I love him so much and when things get rough I just gotta be like "Twilight wouldn't want this for me" and keep on fuck it we ballin.

The untapped ANGST and TRAUMA from his journey drives me insane, I literally could write a whole essay about the shit he endured and how that must have affected him. I wanna write something one day about it but alas, perpetually tired, and I'm nervous about my writing so wheh.

Also I like to think he's horror adjacent. Don't ask me why, I couldn't tell you, but he has the same vibe as the dog from The Thing (1982) to me and I love that for him.

Actual fucking war criminal parasite in my head GET OUT GET OUT GET OUTTTT - Legend.

UGH this fucker. Who let this guy in???? Kill him, smasha with rock.

But on a serious note, while I finished his games (only really played ALBW), the depth he has from those adventures intrigues me endlessly. I love his bitter exterior yet still warm and kind heart, I love characters who act mean but are genuinely good deep down, they just need time to show it.

Also something possesses me when I draw him that makes him look so much more cunty than he actually is and I don't know what it is. I'm sorry for this, I cannot fight what the universe is clearly telling me to do.

He only outrights Twilight rn, because otherwise he would switch places with him. For now he's in my head and I'm shining sunlight on him through a magnifying glass like he's an ant on the pavement. Something Will Happen To Him if I have anything to say about it.