#people have gotten sick from the tap water here LOL

[bonelessratss]

fr abt to order a drink off DoorDash bc all we have at home is tap water n the tap water here is no good !!

[poopwons]

**Break My Heart**-Ft. Jean Kirstein 18+ MDNI!!

Synopsis: You and Jean break up, he doesn't know what to do with himself. Maybe you'll call him? (surprise, you will)

Content: (NSFW), F!Reader, Jean’s POV, post break up feelings, angst, cursing, depressed Jean, pet names, handjobs, fingering, praise kink, Jean has a teensy bit of a size kink, collaring (if you squint), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, people), cream pie, hair pulling, light alcohol consumption

a/n: I have never written anything this long before, but I got the idea in my head and it would not get out so, here it is. I was literally driving home from work listening to Olivia Rodrigo and Happier came on, so that's what inspired this 🥰 Huge shoutouts to @jeanboyjean and @cowgirlikets for encouraging me through this entire process!💜💜💜 ***also I know absolutely nothing about plumbing, so sorry if all of that is completely inaccurate LOL***

words: 6.9k

Two months, four days.

That’s how long it’s been. That’s the last time Jean saw you in person, talked to you at all. Sure, he’s wanted to reach out, he’s gotten drunk a few times and Connie had to wrench his phone out of his hands when he saw your name on the screen. Jean had yelled at him, tried to push him off, but Connie ended up with the phone, locking it away before helping Jean to bed. All in all Connie was looking out for him more than anyone else. That’s what good roommates are for, right?

Though, Jean is sure that Connie never expected to ever see his friend like this. Hell, Jean never thought he’d be this way; he never even thought of the possibility of the two of you splitting at all. The first week after you told him you didn’t want to keep seeing him, he stayed in bed, blaring awful sad songs, just wallowing in his own self pity. He supposes he still is, even months later.

The days without you have slowed to a crawl. He still thinks about you all the time, it takes all his will power not to scroll through your instagram, wondering if you’re thriving without him, or if you’re just as fucked up as he is. He doesn’t want to know, he’s not that desperate yet. Still, thoughts of you plagued him every moment it seemed like. Who does he make breakfast for now? Making a single serving for himself just seems.. pathetic, pointless, in comparison to making something for you.

The two of you had a great routine, his favorite, he thinks. You’d wake up, curled in his arms, peppering little kisses to his face, trying to wake him up. He’d groan at you before running his hands to your sides to tickle you, calling you a menace for disturbing a man’s sleep. The little giggles he’d pull from you were his favorite sound, he’d never heard anything better. Then he’d get up, make coffee and breakfast for the two of you while you showered. Sometimes he’d say fuck the breakfast and shower with you instead. Hot water cascading down the two of you, the smell of your shampoo in his nose as he kissed the back of your neck while washing your hair. Fuck. He needs to stop. Think about anything else, he curses himself, his brain can’t keep doing this to him, can it?

But, turns out, it can. Who makes your tea the way you like it, muddled with honey and a splash of cream? Who else knows that you only want earl grey when it’s raining because that’s what your mom would give you when you came inside from splashing around in puddles when you were little? That you want chamomile when you’re sick, and coffee most mornings, unless you’re anxious, then you want English breakfast. Who knows the way you order your meals from your favorite restaurants? That you don’t like water chestnuts because “they’re too crunchy without enough flavor”, or that you hate fast food lettuce but will completely devour the caesar salad from the diner downtown because you say the lettuce is always “the perfect amount of crisp and never soggy”? What does he do with all this little information that he’s learned about you, that’s now completely useless to him since you’re not here?

Connie managed to drag Jean out to go have lunch with him and Sasha the next day. It’s the first time he’s been out in weeks for something other than work. He’s dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, the most he can manage with how exhausted he’s been. The little chain that you picked out for him draped across his collarbones. He likes that memory. You dragged him into a jewelry store, showing him the necklace, saying something about how you thought it’d look good on him. He was never much of a jewelry person, but for you? He agreed, but only if you’d get a matching bracelet, and you did. You said it was your favorite, you loved it so much, and it went on like that, the two of you, in your matching pieces, wearing them everyday…

“Jean,” Connie breaks him out of his thoughts, he wonders if he could tell that he was thinking about you again.

“What,” his tone is flat, nothing like his usual light hearted one.

“Dude, don’t you think you should take that off?”

Jean looks down at his chain, then back at Connie, a frown plastered on his face.

“No, I don’t want to take it off.”

“Look, man, I know you’re still upset, but.. doesn’t that make it worse?”

Jean can’t stand the look of pity he’s getting, he shrugs and doesn’t reply. Take it off? And then what, get rid of it? No. No, he can’t get rid of it, you got it for him. It would be like throwing you away.. and he’s just not ready to do that, he doesn’t know if he’ll ever be.

Sasha kicks Connie under the table, the two of them had clearly talked about how to handle today and it seems like Connie is going off script. Jean can’t take it anymore, he can’t stand the way his friends are looking at him, he wants to look anywhere else. So, he does what he’s been trying to avoid. He pulls out his phone, opening up your instagram. You haven’t posted in a while, but there is one new picture. Jean’s heart lurches into his throat when he sees it. Who is that? Why is he with you? He’s never seen this guy before and he doesn’t like it, right down to his stupid green eyes, that idiotic man bun, and that shit-eating smile plastered on his face, like he’s mocking Jean without even trying. The picture is innocent enough, a selfie with his arm around you. But why is he touching you? Why are you letting him? Did you really move on this fast? Did you forget about Jean already? Is this the real reason you ended things with him, for this other guy?

He hears a faint grunt from across the table, then Sasha is talking to him, he hardly hears it, the blood is rushing in his ears. Connie snatches his phone from his hand, Jean can’t even find the energy to snap at him. Connie groans when he sees the screen.

“Shit, man… I was hoping you wouldn’t see that.” Connie practically winces when he meets Jean’s eyes, tears welling up in them. His voice breaks when he finally speaks up.

“Who is that with her?” He sounds like the world has been ripped from him.

Sasha speaks up from her side of the table, having seen the post as well. “I don’t know.. maybe they’re just friends. Don’t overthink it, it’ll be okay.”

He sends a pitiful look her way, it most definitely would not be okay. He takes his phone back from Connie, rising from the table, hell bent on getting back home. His brain is going a mile a minute thinking about you and.. whoever that was.

Two months, fifteen days.

He stays in his room all week. Barely leaving, laid up in bed scrolling through your entire instagram. All the pictures of you and him are gone. He can’t believe you got rid of them, did you delete them off your phone entirely? Were all those pictures slowly being replaced by new ones with this guy? He hates the thought of this stranger taking up camera space that should be his. He knows he shouldn’t.. looking through this idiot’s instagram isn’t going to make him feel any better, but he has to know why you chose him instead.

He swipes through this guy’s pictures, he’s even got a stupid name. Who spells their kids' name Eren? There aren’t a ton of posts, but the few that Jean does see has him rolling his eyes, gym selfies and photos of him playing a guitar, his long hair flowing down his shoulders. Great, so he’s ripped and talented. Jean’s not out of shape by any means, but he isn’t as cut as that, especially since he’s been skipping the gym the past couple of months, unable to find the energy to go, and he definitely can’t play any instruments. Maybe he should learn, would that impress you enough to finally reach out to him? No, that would take way too long, he wants to hear from you so much sooner than that. Maybe he can start growing his hair out.. would you like that? You never complained about his hair before but, this whole thing has thrown him for a loop. He’s questioning everything about himself wondering what Eren has that he doesn’t. Maybe Eren’s better in bed? No, that can’t be it. You never once complained about Jean’s performance, all those pretty sounds you made when he touched and kissed and sucked at all the right spots. No, he definitely knew what he was doing in that department. So, that can’t be it, which almost makes it worse. That must mean Jean failed you in some other way as a partner. Was he not attentive enough, not supportive enough? Did he not make enough time for you? Maybe he should have tried to plan more dates. The thoughts go on and on like this until he finally falls into a fitful sleep, what little dreams he has are plagued with you laughing at Eren’s stupid jokes, of you being happier with Eren than you ever were with him.

Jean is sitting up on the sofa in the living room, Connie had begged him to at least come out of his room so he knows the poor guy’s still alive. Jean is scrolling through yours and Eren’s pages, checking yet again for any more posts.

“Dude, seriously? Are you looking at that guy’s page again?” Connie asks, as he sits down on the couch with a bowl of cereal.

Jean gives him a noncommittal grunt, before shoving his phone in Connie’s face. “I mean, what does she even see in him? He’s not that good looking and he has stupid hair. He probably can’t even play that guitar.” 

Connie gives him a sympathetic look, he knows it can’t be easy for Jean to see you with someone else, but it’s been almost three months since you two split. All the same, he’s Jean’s friend, he can’t always tell him what he wants to hear, right? He sets his bowl down with a sigh, bracing himself for what he’s about to say.

“Come on, man. He looks like a decent enough guy. I know this is hard for you, but don’t you want her to be happy?”

“She’s supposed to be happy with me! Me, not this fucker with a guitar, who’s side are you on, anyway?”

“I’m on your side, you know that, but this is nuts, she’s just a chick. You’ve been hung up for almost three months. You need to get back to the shit you used to do. When was the last time you even went to the gym? That used to be so important to you. You should go back, get some endorphins going, that would make you feel better.”

Jean huffs, Connie just doesn’t get it. He gets up off the couch and walks over to the entryway, pushing his shoes on. “She’s not just some chick, dude.” He spits the words out before walking out the door. Maybe a walk would clear his head. He knew in some regards, Connie was right, he hasn’t been taking the best care of himself lately, but his “just a chick” comment has Jean seeing red and he can’t focus on any of the other rational things Connie’s said.

He walks and walks until it gets dark outside, when he finally gets home he scarfs down a protein bar and flops down in bed. Closing his eyes and drifting off relatively quickly, worn out from the walk, maybe he should go back to the gym, he thinks, if a walk has worn him out so much. He doesn’t know how long he sleeps for, but the buzzing from his night table lulls him out of sleep. Bleary eyed and groggy, he picks up the phone staring at the screen. He must be seeing things. Or he’s still asleep and this is a dream. He sits up abruptly, rubbing his eyes, looking at the screen again. Sure enough, it’s your name that’s up on the screen, the phone is still buzzing in his hand as he stares at the caller id. It finally hits him that if he doesn’t answer it’ll go to voicemail and you might not call back. He fumbles to swipe his finger over the answer key, almost dropping his phone in the process.

“Hello?” Jean tries to make his voice sound calm and not rushed, despite the fact that his heart is practically beating out of his chest over something as simple as a phone call, at the prospect of actually hearing your voice for the first time in months.

“Hey, uh, it’s me. Well, duh, you probably know that.” Your voice sounds just as angelic as he remembers and part of him thinks he might cry right on the spot. “um, listen, I didn’t know who else to call, I-I know it’s late.”

“No, no, I’m uh, I’m awake. Wha-what’s up?” He hates how nervous he sounds, but he can’t help it, even his hands are shaking. 

“Can you come over? There’s like, a leak in my apartment, and the office is closed, I just don’t want to lose my deposit. I’m sure they’ll find some way to blame it on me and not their shitty plumbing. I mean.. Obviously, if you’re busy, it’s okay, I can figure something else out.”

So, you’re calling him to come help you, not Eren, interesting. Jean feels over the moon, maybe Eren isn’t all he’s cracked up to be after all. 

“No, I’m not busy, it’s fine. I’ll be there in twenty minutes. Just try to soak up all the water you can.” Jean says as he scrambles off his bed, going to the bathroom to check his hair in the mirror, smoothing some parts that got ruffled in his sleep. He looks at his shirt, cursing silently that he’s still wearing this sweaty t-shirt. He puts you on speaker and quickly pulls the fabric off, throwing it in the hamper.

“Thank you so much, you’re really doing me a huge favor.”

He pulls a fresh shirt over his head, the shirt getting caught in his frantic movements causing him to have to talk louder than normal, so you can hear him over the muffle of the fabric, “yeah, it’s no problem, I’ll be there soon.” He’d do you a million favors if it meant he got to see you. You hang up and he slips on his shoes, rushing out the door to get to your place with his tools.

Jean’s heart is hammering out of his chest the whole drive to your place, it feels like his body is vibrating with anxiety. He’s practically white knuckling his steering wheel, his brain just going and going. He finally gets to see you, he’ll get to see you. He hopes you’re wearing his favorite pair of sweats. He always thought you looked so cute in them, so comfy and cozy. Excitement is starting to bubble in, until he thinks, oh, god. What if he’s there? What if Jean has to see you and Eren together in person, in a situation where he can’t just walk away. Oh, fuck, why didn’t he think about this before? He was just so excited to hear your voice, to see you, that he wasn’t thinking. If he has to see this idiot touch you right in front of him he thinks he might punch him. That would not look good on him, you’d probably even get mad at him, that’s the last thing he needs. He pulls up to your apartment before he knows it, punching in the gate code that he still has memorized, begging and praying to whatever good karma he’s drummed up in the universe, that Eren fucking Jaegar is not in your apartment with you.

He knocks on your door, fussing with his hair a little as he bounces on the balls of his feet, unsure what to do with all this nervous energy. When he hears the lock disengage he pulls his hand away from his hair as fast as he can, trying to look as casual as possible, like he hasn’t thought about you every second of every day for the past three months.

“H-hi,” you answer the door, obviously feeling a little uncomfortable with this whole situation yourself, but he doesn’t know if it’s the same kind of nerves he’s having or something else. But fuck, you look so pretty, so so pretty, with your hair draped over your shoulders in loose waves, the way you always wore it before, wearing a crew neck and some shorts. 

“He-” Jean’s voice cracks, it fucking cracks. Seriously? What, is he sixteen again? He clears his throat and starts again, “Hey,” 

You let him in, and he gets enveloped in your smell, he practically sighs as he breathes in the familiar comfortable scent of you and your things. He didn’t know you could miss a person’s smell this much. He looks around expecting to see the place how he remembers, but he’s thrown off when everything looks different. You’ve rearranged all your furniture. Thankfully, though, you’re the only one here, there’s no sign of another guy having been here at all. He lets out a little sigh of relief, following you into the kitchen where sopping towels are littering the floor. 

“I just came home from work and found it like this. I don't know what happened.” you say, waving your arm to the floor.

“Well, let’s just see. I’m sure it’s just a loose rivet or something,” Jean walks past you, trying his best not to let your proximity as he does get to him, fighting the urge to just take you in his arms and not let go. That’s not why he’s here, you didn’t call him for that. He’s thankful that you called him for an actual task, something for him to focus on so he’s not just staring at you, he’s afraid if he stares too long he’ll snap.

You stand in the kitchen with him while he patches everything up, it’s an easy fix, just like he thought. A baby with a wrench could fix this, so again, his mind drifts back to why you called him and not Eren, not that he’s complaining. He thinks it all feels very domestic, you watching him fix up things around the house. He’d fix everything you asked him too if he could hold onto this feeling. He’s surprised when you crouch down next to him, trying to see what he’s doing.

“It was loose, right here, I’m just tightening it up.” He smiles as he looks at you briefly, he can’t help it, you just look so pretty and you’re right next to him, right where you belong. 

You smile back at him and he feels his heart lurch again, turning the wrench a little more, satisfied with his work, he catches your eye, “and that should do it, you should be all set now.” 

He stands up, wiping his hands on his pants before offering you a hand up. When you take his hand he bites back a smile at the feel of your hand in his again after so much time, even if it is a harmless interaction. Standing up with him, you don’t pull your hand away right away, lingering there for just a second too long. Did he imagine that? No, no you definitely lingered. 

You brush a strand of hair behind your ear and smile at him sheepishly. “Thanks again, I really appreciate it.” God, your smile is the prettiest thing he’s ever seen.

“It’s not a problem, I don’t mind helping you.” Jean runs a hand through his hair, rubbing at the back of his neck, looking away from you, still nervous. He knows the whole reason he came is taken care of now, and he doesn’t want to leave, but he thinks that’s what you might want. 

“So, I should–”

“Do you want–”

You both speak at once, sharing a nervous chuckle. Jean lets you go first, giving you a look that says so.

“Do you, um.. Want a drink?” You look nervous, awkward. Surely he’s imagining it, he doesn't want to get his hopes up too high. “It’s the least I could do, calling you over here on a Friday night. I’m sure you had better things to do.” You give him another shy smile and he swears he could melt into a puddle right there.

“Uh, sure. Y-yeah, a drink sounds good.” 

“All I have are those hard seltzers I usually get, that okay?” you ask like you expect him to remember, and he does. He wants you to know how much he remembers about you; everything, he remembers everything. 

So, just drinks for yourself? No beer, no liquor, nothing he thinks a guy like Eren might drink. Interesting. So far, everything he’s observed has led him to the conclusion that maybe you and Eren aren’t together. Maybe Sasha was right, and the two of you are just friends?

“That’s fine,” He bends down, putting his wrench away, placing his tool bag on your counter. Turning back to look at you, the slim can in your hand as you hold it out to him. He takes it, following you over to the couch where you both take a seat next to each other. 

His body feels like it’s vibrating, sitting this close to you. You didn’t have to sit this close, but you did. He pops the tab, taking a drink to calm his nerves, and you do the same. 

“So, how have you been? It’s been a while.” You speak so softly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear again, a nervous habit. Are you feeling the same tension he is? Is he making it all up because he missed you so much?

“Uh, good, good.” He lies, what is he supposed to say? That he’s been completely miserable without you? No, if he’s wrong and you have moved on, he has to at least pretend he’s been doing alright. “Work is, well, work, you know. Haven’t been doing much else. What about you?”

“Y-yeah, no, things are, um, they’re okay. I finally got promoted at work.” you smile at him again, before taking another sip. “I’m officially management.”

Pride swells in his chest, he knows how badly you wanted to move up in your job, how much you craved more responsibility. He’s glad your place of work is finally acknowledging your potential.

“Hey, that’s great. I’m really happy for you,” and he is, genuinely. “Is it everything you wanted it to be?”

You give a little snort, “I mean, I guess. Workplace drama is a lot more stressful when you’re actually the one in charge of trying to defuse it, instead of just listening to all the gossip.” 

“Well, I’m sure you’re handling it fine, you were always good at that kind of stuff.” 

You huff a little laugh again, thanking him before pulling the sleeves of your crew neck up while adjusting your position on the couch. That’s when he sees it, that little glimmer of silver on your wrist. His heart pounds harder as he sees it. You’re still wearing your bracelet. You still have it. 

“You’re still wearing that,” Jean points out, his voice coming out little more than a whisper, like he just can’t believe it, his eyes locked on the bracelet.

A blush blooms across your cheeks and Jean is positive it’s not just the alcohol. Fuck not getting his hopes up, you wouldn’t still be wearing something he got you if you didn’t miss him a little bit. 

“Oh, yeah..” you fiddle with the bracelet with your free hand, “I um.. I feel a little naked without it, you know?” you cheeks are still flushed as you look up at him. 

Jean just smiles at you, “yeah, I know what you mean.” he says as he pulls the chain out from under his shirt. “I got so used to wearing it everyday, it just doesn’t feel right with it off.” It’s not even a lie, just, not a full truth. His nerves are slowly fading away, getting replaced with renewed hope.

“Well, it does still look good on you,” you reach your hand up to run your fingers along the chain, Jean feels a jolt of electricity in your touch that practically lights his skin on fire, and that’s when he really knows. There’s no way you’d be touching him like this if you didn’t miss him, if you were seeing someone else. He’s never felt so much relief in his life. “Suits you, for sure.” 

He takes his hand placing it over yours, goosebumps prickling his skin where your fingers dance along the chain. “You..um, you have good taste,” he says, his breath turning a little shallow, he knows he’s not imagining all the tension that’s been slowly building up since he got here. “I never would have picked anything like this for myself.”

Your hand is so small in his, he’s always been bigger than you, taller, more muscular. He didn't realize how much he missed it until now, he was so caught up with missing all the other parts of you that this bit seemed to have slipped his mind. You’re looking at him with your pretty doe eyes, letting him hold your hand, he can practically see the hearts in your eyes, looking at him like you used to. Fuck it, he’s going for it. Drinks completely forgotten on the coffee table as he scoots a little closer to you, just enough so that your knees are touching.

“I’ve really missed you.” He whispers, leaning in just a little closer, he hears your breath hitch in your throat, your eyes flitting to his lips. 

He smiles as you lean in too. You want it just as much as he does. “Me too..”

When he finally presses his lips to yours he almost explodes with happiness, he’s feeling giddy, all these pent up feelings pouring out into your lips. He cups the back of your neck as he deepens the kiss, swiping his tongue over your bottom lip, a silent request for permission. He sighs as you grant it, opening your mouth for him so he can glide his tongue along yours, and you moan into his mouth. You fucking moan. He loses any semblance of control he had. His hands move, roaming over your back and the two of you lose yourselves in the moment. Without really thinking about it he pulls you onto his lap, moving his mouth to press hot kisses to your neck, nipping the sensitive skin. It always was one of your favorite spots. His hands run under your sweatshirt, caressing your back, savoring the feel of your soft skin under his palms.

“Missed you so fucking much.” Jean breathes out between kisses, groaning as you grind your hips onto his lap when he kisses your neck again.

“Missed you too. Thought…Thought about you all the time…” Your words are broken up by little gasps. Jean thinks he could die happy, just like this, but then your hands go to the hem of his shirt, pulling it off, running your hands over the contours of his chest and he feels like he’s going to burn out of his skin.

His hands follow suit with yours, pulling your sweatshirt off, discarding it on the floor next to his, drinking in the sight of you, sighing when he sees your bare chest. Running his hands over your tits, kissing his way down your neck and your collarbone before taking one of your nipples into his mouth and starts kissing and sucking, pinching at the other one with his free hand. You arch your back into his touch and he moves his hands back around your waist, pulling you closer to him. He just needs you closer, so much closer.

You just grind against him, he can feel the heat coming off of you, listening to your breath get more and more ragged as you wrap your arms around his neck in order to get closer, pulling his head up. 

“I’m sorry. Jean, I’m so sorry.. I never should have–” your voice sounds broken, despite the desire and need coursing through the both of you. It breaks his heart to hear you sounding so sad. You don’t even have to explain what you’re apologizing for, he already knows. 

Jean cuts you off with a kiss, running his fingers through your hair, shushing you softly. “It’s okay, it’s okay.” He soothes, pressing soft kisses between his words. “Later. We’ll talk about it later, yeah?” He pulls back, pressing his forehead to yours, looking in your eyes with all the love he has for you. 

You give him a feeble little nod, kissing him passionately. Your tongues glide together as you taste each other, making up for lost time, and god, does he want to make up for it. With that in mind, his hands move to the plush of your ass, squeezing as you keep your lips on him. As much as he doesn’t want to push you away from him, he needs to touch you. He runs his hands over your bare thighs before hooking his fingers into the waistband of your shorts, pushing you back just enough so he can get the leverage he needs. Tugging them off, you lift your hips to help him. He looks down and sees you clad in lace, one of his favorite pairs. A brief look of surprise as his brain sorts through it. You… you planned for this, at least to some degree. All doubts completely leave his head as a satisfied grin curls on his lips. 

“You wear these just for me, baby?” He murmurs into your ear as he nips at your earlobe, fingers already dancing along the sides of your panties. 

You give him another nod and a breathy little sound that he assumes, if you were able to form the words, would be a confirmation. He pushes the material aside, running a finger through your folds. Shit, you're so fucking wet for him. He’s going to lose his mind. His finger swirls around your clit, eliciting moans and gasps from you. You’re already starting to squirm for him and he doesn’t let up, still swirling little circles with the pad of his finger. 

“J-Jean,” you moan out his name and cling to him, holding his head tightly to your chest. 

“‘M right here, baby, I got you. You gonna be a good girl and cum for me?” 

“Y-yes, yes, yes, fuck!” He feels your legs shaking on him, still moving his hand. God, he missed seeing you like this. 

“That’s it, that’s my girl. That’s my good fuckin’ girl, did so well for me. ” He purrs into your skin, pressing kisses to your neck, giving you a second to catch your breath.

Turns out you don’t even want a breather, your hands moving desperately to his lap, frantically trying to undo his buttons, slipping your hand in and wrapping around his cock. 

“Fuck,” Jean groans under his breath, lifting his hips with you still on his lap, so he can shove his pants down enough for you pull him all the way out.

Your hand pumps him, smearing the precum over his flushed tip, causing him to suck in a sharp breath. You keep working him, your hands are always so soft, twisting your wrist a bit on the way up, squeezing the tip just a little. He loves the way he looks in your hands, your smaller ones making him look even bigger. His eyes catch a little glimmer, and he groans again when he sees you jerking him with your bracelet bouncing on your wrist with your movements. All he can think about is that you’re his, you're his, you're his. That one little accessory tells the whole world. Maybe he’ll replace it with a ring. He leans forward, burying his face in the crook of your neck, taking a shaky breath.

“Shit, you’re makin’ me feel so good, but I don’t… fuck, I don’t want to cum like this.” He pulls back to look in your eyes, seeing nothing but how good you want to make him feel and he doesn’t know what he did to deserve you. 

He pulls your panties to the side again, lifting you up, lining himself up with your entrance and pulls you down onto him. Jean thinks he’s died and gone to heaven. He has never felt anything better than you wrapped around him like this. You both let out audible moans, as you adjust to him. Without any warning, you start bouncing on him. His eyes roll back as he drops his head to the back of the couch. Your bounces are slow, deliberate, he’s sure he’s in heaven.

“You feel so good. Love how full you make me feel.” You murmur, breathy, into his ear, bracing yourself on his shoulders. 

As much as he’d love to just sit here and bask in you riding him, he’s going to cum way too soon if he lets you keep going like this, especially if you keep using that mouth of yours to whisper everything he’s been wanting to hear for the past three months in his ear. He moves his hands back to your ass, grabbing handfuls of you, doing the work for you for another second or two before he wraps his arm around your waist he starts fucking up into you. 

“Missed my pussy so much, baby. She’s mine, yeah? That’s what this means doesn’t it?” He growls, taking your wrist, adorned with your bracelet, showing it to you. “That’s why you never took it off? Been mine this whole time haven’t you?”

Your walls squeeze him, as you hear his words, and he groans again. “All yours, Jean.. al-always yours.”

In all his desperation to get close to you, to get inside of you, he didn’t think your panties would cause a problem, but at this point they’re in his way, they won’t stay to one side. He moves his hand, gripping the flimsy garment, and pulls hard, tearing them.

“Jean!” You protest, looking down at where the two of you are connected.

“I’ll buy you new ones,” He mutters before he picks up his pace, finally able to fuck you the way he wants, slamming his hips up into you. 

You don’t seem to care so much anymore, as your eyes roll back, and you let out a cry. Your arms are wrapped around his neck, moving to bury your face in his neck. And for Jean, right now, that just won’t do, he wants to see you, wants to see your face contorted in pleasure. He brings his hand to the back of your neck, tugging your hair so you’re looking at him. 

“Look at me, baby, wanna see you.” Shit, he already feels close. Not having you for all these months, and finally getting you, getting to see in your face how good he’s making you feel and how much you missed him too. He didn’t think he was going to last long anyway. He brings his lips to yours, kissing you hungrily, all tongues and teeth. 

“Ba-baby, ‘m close,” you whine, eyes glazed over, face scrunched up just the way he likes. 

“Me too, cum with me, yeah?” His hand snakes between you, finding your clit, rubbing circles on it with his thumb.

He feels you clenching around him, cunt pulsing and god he missed this feeling, missed feeling you come apart just for him. You say his name again and again like a prayer and he just can’t hold back anymore. 

“Fuck, baby, I’m shit–” He tries to warn you so you can get off of him, but you just stay put, slamming down on him again and again. He cums hard, painting your insides white. 

Still holding onto you tightly, one hand on your neck and the other around your waist, you both just stay locked in an embrace, panting. Each of your heads are resting on the others shoulders, Jean presses little kisses there while he catches his breath. 

“God, I really did miss you so much.” He whispers into your skin. “And not just this, all of it. I missed all of you.”

“I know, I missed you too. I wanted to call you or text you, or anything. I just…didn’t think you wanted to talk to me.” Your fingers toy with the hair at the nape of his neck and he just savors the moment. 

Neither one of you moves, you just sit there holding each other. You haven’t even gotten off of him yet, his cock going soft inside you, feeling his cum leak out onto his lap, but he couldn’t care less. He just runs his fingertips up and down your back tenderly. 

“You really scared me, you know that?” Jean says when he finally feels like breaking the silence.

You lift your head, giving him a puzzled look. “What do you mean? How did I scare you?”

Jean sighs, it sounds stupid now, in hindsight, thinking that you had moved on. “I thought you were dating that Eren guy. You posted a picture with him and I kind of freaked out.”

It seems like it takes a second for his words to register, because you’re quiet for a moment before you burst into a full fit of laughter. Jean just gives you a pointed look. He doesn’t see what’s so funny about that. You’re laughing so hard you practically roll off of him, landing on your side on the couch, your legs still draped over him. He follows suit, cuddling you when he gets onto his side. 

“What’s so funny?”

You finally stop laughing long enough to answer him. “Eren? EW.” you manage to get out before you start giggling again. “He’s like a brother to me, we grew up together. I haven’t seen him before that post since he left for school. You really thought I was dating Eren??” 

Jean’s cheeks flush, a little pout forming on his face. “What was I supposed to think? He was way too close to you in that picture.”

Your laughter subsides, and you brush some hair out of his face, giving him a soft smile. “He just took me out for the day because I was so sad about you. I felt like I’d made a big mistake, and he just wanted to get my mind off of it for a little while. Besides, even if he wasn’t like a brother, he’s been in love with the same girl from middle school since he was like, twelve years old.”

You look like you have more to say but you’re hesitating. Clearly feeling a little nervous, he just nudges you gently, wanting you to continue.

You take a deep breath before going on, “I am sorry.. I shouldn’t have broken up with you, and for such a stupid reason.”

“What was the reason, exactly?” He asks, he never actually got the full story.

“I just… I liked you too much, things were going too well. I guess I kind of panicked, wondering when the other shoe was going to drop.”

Jean just stares at you, of all the reasons he thought it was, he didn’t think it was this.

“So… you broke up with me, because things were going too well?”

“It sounds stupid when you say it like that!” You bury your face into his chest, hiding your blush. “I said I was sorry.”

“What if there’s no other shoe? What if we’re just good together? Did you think about that?” He asks, no malice or hurt in his voice, just genuine curiosity. He presses a little kiss to the top of your head, trying to soothe you.

“There’s always another shoe.” You mutter, not bothering to lift your head up.

Jean sighs, taking your chin in his hand, pulling you up so that you’re eye to eye with him. “Baby, I promise, I will do everything in my power to ensure that there is no other shoe, okay? You have a problem, just talk to me. Let me be there for you, let me try and make things better. I’m not saying everything will be perfect all the time, but just know I’ll try my damndest for you.” He presses a kiss to your lips, sealing his promise. 

“Yeah.. okay,” you finally give him another smile, and he kisses you again, unable to resist. “So, can I be your girlfriend again?”

“As long as you promise not to break up with me for such a stupid reason ever again.” He smiles at you again, pressing another kiss to your forehead before pulling you back into his chest.

“Promise,” you mumble as you nuzzle into him.

Jean’s happier than he’s been in months, with you in his arms, right back where you belong.

Thank you so much for reading! Likes and Reblogs are always appreciated!💖

[youn9racha]

I Know (Part I)

Pairing: Changbin x fem!reader

Genre: suggestive

Word count: 1.9k

Warning: slight adult content, swearing, suggestive actions, elements of stalker behavior

Extra notes: characters mentioned are all above the age 21 years, a lot of hatred towards the male figure lol. Also this is my first time writing on tumblr, so please bare with me, it may not be the best, but I still hope you enjoy it :)

And baby, I know, I know whatever city you’re in, you’re still the boy that I’d pick…

part ii is up !!!

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This is no way representative of the way Stray Kids act. They’re nothing but references of character, and in no shape or form is this how they act. And I am in no way romanticizing or glamorizing any toxic behavior exhibited, they’re just stories that is meant to be read. Readers discretion is advised

—————————————————————————————————

Men…

Truly the scums of the Earth, who do no good for no one, and are an absolute menace to society. But oh, do I enjoy the looks of their faces at times. The way they would look at me with full hope and infatuation, with full beliefs that I would step down and give them all they want from me.

Hmph. How cute… and pathetic. How pathetic to assume and lower my standards for them. They all are the same. All but one however.

All that men hating… and yet, only one I’d be willing to go down to his level.

Yes, its him… He whom a lot would have not sought to be with, not many would expect a bombshell like myself would be with. But I do not see that in him, not an ounce of what many insecure individuals would see. I see something striking that not many could see, an underrated dignified beauty that anyone could wish to admire. A fanciable and irresistible personality and face.

He was a man.. but a pleasant one.

It all started when I moved in into a new flat for myself. I previously left the old complex due to the cramped environment I had that left me feeling uneasy and stressed, as well as it wasn’t even my apartment, it was for my partner, well, ex-partner. It was simply wasn’t working out, due to our seeming never ending conflicts. But enough of the past, let us move on..

I found this flat that is comfortable and the rent pays well, its only downside is that my room’s window is faced to the next door’s flat, however it’s not a big detriment or big turn off for me so it was fine by me, and also it was prone to have random, yet rare, blackout, but then again what neighborhood doesn’t have that. Anyhow, I was set to take the complex, but before I did, I have noticed something about the neighbor’s window next to me. It was a man. A really good looking one too. Giving his side profile, he was laying on his bed, his black hair covered head bopping with earphones placed in ears, laptop placed in his revealing shorts adorned lap. My eyes began started to stare into his arms then onto his naked well built chest, which indicates that he likes to keep up with his health, as his ring adorned hands was tapping away in his keyboard. I quickly looked away when I saw him repositioned his laptop, and walked out of the soon-to-be my room.

Great… I’ve entered Hell.

But I didn’t let it affect my decisions and got the apartment nonetheless, here I am now, weeks after the incident, sitting in my car, outside of the building, still thinking about the man in his laptop. Has he noticed that I was staring at him? Does he know that there’s gonna be someone living next to him? I hope not. And if he has, I must apologize to him. But before that, let me unload my car. I have gradually put my stuff into the complex as the days go by, it seems dragging, but it felt like the time went by fast, so I’m glad I have done that. However, today was different, as I took stuff more than I usually did, as I desperately do not want to go back to my ex. Typically, I never had assistance, as usually my best friend would join in and help out, but at a time I needed them the most, they had to be really sick. They still were willing to help, but I insisted that they shouldn’t and should rest.

After thinking, I sighed and got out my car, ready to fight the battle that is putting my stuff into my complex. I opened the trunk, eyes meeting my stuff, and I begin to groan. ‘Dammit, (y/n), why do you have that many stuff?!’ I thought to myself. I really should’ve had at least one more visit to my ex, but alas I picked to just take all all together in one day. I picked up a box until..

“Need any help?” I heard someone behind me asking me. I turned around and looked at the source. ‘God damn, is it just me, or does this town just bring out more attractive people?’ I thought to myself, as I see a man that looked like he could be at a museum. He had a sandy brown curly hair, slightly tanned skin, really plump and a crazy jawline. He donned a tank top that barely covered his side torso, and basket ball shorts that complimented his really nice, thick… thighs… yeah… Needless to say he was really attractive.

It seems that I was ogling him, rather than responding, as he shyly smiled and waved his hand in front of my face, “hello,” he softly said as I shook my head and looked back at his face apologetically.

“I am so sorry, I am just really tired, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” I cringed at my pathetic way of justifying of me literally internally lusting over him. I really am turning into someone I dread to be. How can I forgive myself?

“That’s okay, I know how moving can get tiring, and I sense that you’re alone, so please let me and my friend help you out.” He said, sympathetically smiling a sweet smile, already grabbing a box out of my hand. God, if this man has a partner, then they’re the luckiest person ever, and if he’s single, I’ll gladly hand him a ring. What am I saying? (y/n), what the hell has gotten into you?!

“I’m Christopher, but you can call me Chris or Chan, whichever you prefer is fine, what’s your name?” The generous man’s voice interrupted my inner battle and I found myself looking at him again. “(y/n)” I smiled at him, which he nodded back.

“Nice to meet you,” Chan said, looking back and see that his friend showed up, meanwhile, I went back to my trunk and got out more stuff from my car ��oh, there he is!” Chan enthusiastically announced.

“(y/n), meet my friend and roommate, Changbin.” Chris said, while I got out the box and looked at the other man, my face shifted from contentment to horrific.

Its the man with the laptop.

“Hello? Chan, are you sure she’s okay?” Changbin looked at Chris with worry. “Yeah, she’s just tired, just nudge her.”

It’s like Chris knew me too well, despite meeting for less than 10 minutes, as Chris slightly pushed me with the box, not enough to hurt me, but enough to put me out of a trance.

“huh? I did it again, did I?” I looked at Chan, worryingly, which he nodded. I looked back at Changbin and the pathetic act was brought up again.

“I am so sorry, I don’t know what has gotten into me.” I apologized once again, which Changbin only smirked. “Don’t worry about it,” He said, carrying a box. Something about that smirk and tone seems off. Not off in a menacing way, but off in a… coy way. Maybe not the best term to use, maybe I am just over analyzing, but I am for sure either winning the lottery tonight, or convinced that the sun will rise from the west tomorrow, since I have two very attractive men helping out, one of which is someone whom I may have an odd fascination for a while now.

~~

The two have been nothing but a delight to interact with, their help with the stuff had done me even more than just a solid. However, I still in a way feel a bit unsettled by Changbin. It wasn’t that he was a creep, or did anything to make me uncomfortable, its just this feeling of guilt I carry with me. Meanwhile, I didn’t attempt anything, and I just simply just admired him from afar, it still felt wrong that I was just looking at him while he was barely wearing anything, let alone while not him paying attention. Despite this, it seems that he doesn’t know that I did what I did, which is why I chose to confront him about it when the time is right, which is probably when we start getting even more comfortable. I have exchanged numbers with both men, even though I could probably just go out my window and yell out their names, but I’d rather not disturb the peace.

Two good looking men are now my neighbors… Who would have thought? Whichever entity that is in existence have decided to play with me, because to them, my humiliation would be their laughing stock, because they definitely would have seen what is to become of me.

Its been a week in since I moved, and interacted with the two Chans, and I am glad that a curtain was installed onto my room, just so I wouldn’t carry even more guilt than I already do. But the thing is, I would lie that I still haven’t thought of Changbin. While I would have thought that Chris fitting into more of my ideal type, Changbin however held a mysterious power that Chan didn’t.

Ever since the time I first laid eyes on Changbin, he has never left my mind. He has started to creep up in my fantasies and dreams in every way shape of form. I couldn’t stop thinking of how his arms would look around my waist, how his lips would feel in my skin, or how his hands would wander around, exploring places that many men often fail to find to make me feel good, or how his voice would be like when talking as he puts his mouth by my ear— God, this is getting out of hand, I would think.

What if he had a girlfriend? What if he wasn’t attracted to women in general? What if he finds you a creep?

So many more endless questions would come in to ruin me, but its not like i have a choice, he just happened to settle into my dreams and thoughts, and went with it.

I decided to take a shower to try and distract myself from these thoughts, which didn’t help at all, as the hot water cascading my skin did nothing but accelerated my lustful thoughts. I decided to get out of the shower, as it didn’t help my case.

Damn you, Changbin.

I sighed, put on some underwear and a robe while having a towel wrapped around my hair. I got out of the bathroom and back to my room. It was dark out, and in my room, the only light came out of it were my night lamp, which barely lit up the whole room. I checked the window, making sure Changbin wasn’t there, or at least not facing the window, only to see his window being covered with curtains.

Great timing, could’ve used that when I first saw you, dipshit.

But nonetheless, I was really glad at least he wasn’t visible. I laid back on my bed, and decided to look through social media, as anyone should. While in the middle of a instagram scroll, I see a caller popping through at the top of the screen…

It was Changbin.

[etherealwaifgoddess]

Run To You - Chpt.1

Summary: Bucky has had the day from hell and all he wants is to buy what he needs and get home to his sick kid. Enter Steve Rogers in the wrong place at the wrong time and Bucky’s day goes from bad to mortifying.  Master list is HERE :)

Content Warnings: A smidge of bad language, but really ya’ll should expect that from me by now lol

Word Count: 2.3k

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies! Who’s ready to start a new adventure with me? I knew I wanted to write a kid!fic with Bucky and Steve but I didn’t expect it to go quite this way until I jokingly called a friend “Captain Clueless” and then couldn’t get that name out of my head in relation to Steve. I fell completely in love with this little universe as I went and I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did. XOXO - Ash

Chapter One

Bucky Barnes is not at his finest. He just got off a sixteen hour shift from his job as an ER nurse and can barely keep his eyes open. The shift should have ended four hours earlier, but a tour bus accident had them overwhelmed on what had already been a busy night. Bucky was looking forward to catching a few hours of sleep while Becca was at preschool but nope, he came home to a frazzled best friend/ babysitter and a sick four year old. It was always something with Becca, her immune system just wasn’t what it needed to be. Bucky couldn’t fault her for that, she had been born premature and that unfortunately resulted in a whole host of health issues for the little girl. He would never regret adopting her, it was the best decision he’d ever made, but some days parenthood wore on him. 

Bucky moves the load of laundry Natasha had started for him into the dryer. It smells clean but there will forever be a slight stain from puke on the ladybug print sheets. He can try his heavy duty stain remover on it later, but he knows there is only so much that can be done for white fabric and bodily fluids. There’s a reason most of his scrubs are black. After checking in on Becca, Bucky begs Natasha to stay a little longer so he can run down to the bodega to pick up a few things for when Becca wakes up. He would have sworn they had an extra bottle of Pedialyte, but apparently they’d used it up during Becca’s last bout with the flu. 

Natasha waits patiently, listening to Bucky complain about his shift while he quickly changes out of his scrubs into a pair of soft grey sweats and an old Blink 182 tshirt. She’s been his best friend since their first year of college when they met in Intro to Biology. The two of them have been inseparable ever since, both even choosing to stay in Brooklyn after college instead of going back to where they were from. Natasha’s family was from Russia but traveled a lot so she was happy staying in the city that felt like home to her, and Bucky would have done just about anything to avoid going back to the tiny town in Indiana where his parents were still selling drugs out of their trailer and making each other miserable. 

Bucky had thought he was free of his family forever when NYU accepted him into their nursing program. It was his way out of a poverty stricken little town that people rarely escaped from. Bucky had left home at eighteen with no intentions of returning, and he probably never would have, but during his last year of nursing school he found out through Facebook that his thirty eight year old mother was pregnant. To no one’s surprise, his mom was still dealing, still with his deadbeat dad, and was too far along when she found out she was pregnant to have any other option than having the baby. It was a repeat of the situation she’d found herself in at sixteen when she had Bucky. Knowing what it was like to grow up in that house, Bucky couldn’t allow another child to be brought into such a toxic environment. As soon as his mom confirmed the news was true, he hopped on the next flight out to Indiana and started the process to legally adopt his sister once she was born. 

When Rebecca Grace Barnes came into the world nine weeks early the doctors said it was a miracle she survived. She was so small, just barely three pounds, and needed to stay in the NICU for just over a month. Bucky had made arrangements with his professors to turn in exams and papers online, barely managing to finish up his nursing degree while biding his time before he could go back to Brooklyn with his baby sister. It had been a wild ride trying to get his nursing career started while caring for a newborn but Natasha had been a life saver. She and their other friend Clint had stepped up in a huge way, helping to watch Becca when he needed to work and daycare wasn’t open. Their schedules had gotten even messier recently when Becca started preschool. Bucky is counting down the days until kindergarten starts so their schedules will align enough for him to only lean on Nat and Clint one or two days a week at most. 

“Are you even listening to me?” Natasha throws a balled up Minnie Mouse sock at Bucky who’s too tired to dodge and instead gets a face full of pink fleece. 

“Yeah, Nat,” Bucky sighs, wishing he could take off his aching prosthetic but knowing he’ll need both hands for shopping bags. “I’m getting you a choco taco and a red bull this time. I got you.” 

Natasha nods happily, completely unphased by Bucky’s eye roll. She’s getting her wake up juice and her crunchy chocolatey sugar, and that is all that matters.

Bucky rushes around the bodega grabbing everything he’ll need to deal with a sick kid, throwing things in the basket without even bothering to check price tags. His bank account will hate him, but he doesn’t exactly have time or options to find the best deals. Grabbing Nat’s items and an iced coffee for himself, he waits in line as an older man chats with the clerk while the teenager rings up his order. The television in the corner is playing the local news, apparently Captain America visited a rec center in Brooklyn recently. There are sound bites from elderly residents and young kids fawning over him, and one of the Captain himself extolling the importance of community and keeping kids off the streets.

Bucky thinks his eyes will get stuck in the back of his head with how hard he rolls them. “This fucking guy.” Bucky grumbles as he places his basket on the counter, unloading his stuff. 

The clerk nods in silent agreement.

“I’m sure he was a ‘bright shining beacon of hope’ back in WWII but he has no clue what’s going on in the real word nowadays.” Bucky continues.

The clerk nods once again and Bucky, feeling particularly exhausted and grumpy, yells over at the TV, “It’s not all rainbows and sunshine Captain Clueless!”  

“Captain Clueless?” A deep voice rumbles from behind him, “I’ve been called a lot of things over the years, but that’s a new one.” 

Bucky sees the clerk's face go pale and the kid freezes, confirming what Bucky feared when he heard that rich baritone behind him. Oh fuck. 

Turning around, Bucky prepares himself for the worst. Instead, he finds an extremely amused looking Captain America holding a bottle of water and a bag of swedish fish. 

“I’m… I… I didn’t mean…” Bucky stammers. He doesn’t know how to politely explain I meant every word but never meant for you to hear it. 

The register pings as the clerk frantically finishes ringing up Bucky’s order, trying to get both men out of the shop before the situation can get any worse. The sound startles Bucky and he turns around to see the green blinking $58.79 on the little box. His stomach sinks, there went grocery shopping for the week. But, he reasons, Becca won’t want much for a few days while she recovers and he’s no stranger to a ramen-only diet. They’ll get by, just like they always do. 

Before Bucky can hand over his last three twenties, a sleek black card taps against the card reader and the machine starts blinking, processing it. Bucky spins around in surprise only to literally face plant into a solid wall of muscle. Muscle that smells like tea tree and mint, yum. Bucky moves backwards in surprise, bumping into the counter but getting himself away from the giant of man who’s also moving backwards after their collision. 

“It’s on me.” Steve tells him with a shrug. 

“You didn’t have to do that.” Bucky insists, “I insulted you.” 

“You were just being honest.” Steve reasons, “I don’t get to hear people’s honest opinions all that much.” 

“That has to be weird.” 

Steve chuckles, “Pal, you got no idea.” 

“Well, thank you. And I am sorry you heard that.” Bucky collects his bags, still dumbfounded by the whole experience. 

“I’d like to hear more about why you said it. Whatever you think it is I’m missing about the twenty-first century. I’m just out for a run so if you don’t mind company on your way back to wherever, maybe we could talk?” 

Bucky shakes his head. The man actually wants to learn how to be a better person after being insulted by a random grungey stranger in a bodega. “You really are Captain America.” Bucky murmurs, still stunned. 

Steve chuckles again; a deep, throaty sound. “Yeah, guilty as charged. But you can just call me Steve.” Steve winks conspiratorially and Bucky thinks he might actually combust. No one should be allowed to be that good looking. 

Bucky waits as the cashier rings Steve up for his things and Steve taps his card again to pay. “I thought it was weird enough getting a card that swiped when I came out of the ice, but now this one doesn’t even swipe. It just taps and poof, done.” Steve says with a faint tone of awe. 

Bucky can’t imagine how many things Steve needed to adjust to after waking up from the ice. “Far cry from what you were used to, huh?” 

“Well, it sure beats keeping coins in old coffee cans.” 

Bucky glances over at Steve as they leave the bodega together, “You do that whole ‘awe shucks, man out of time’ thing really well. Is it real though? No offense, you can’t really be that well adjusted. You’re still human.”

Steve meets Bucky’s eyes for a moment, crystalline blue piercing into smoke grey-blue, assessing him. After a few beats he decides Bucky is someone who can handle the truth. “It’s a lot easier to do that than to curse up a storm every time some piece of tech pisses me off. Plays out a lot better with the whole Captain America image too.”  

“I didn’t think Captain America even knew how to swear.” Bucky teases. 

“He doesn’t, but Steve Rogers does. I grew up in Brooklyn, I know how to curse.” 

Bucky laughs, swinging his bags idly as they walk in silence for a few steps.

Steve breaks the silence, reminding him of why they’re walking down the street together in the first place, “So really, why do you think I’m so out of touch? Because I thought SHIELD did a bang up job teaching me about the world and what I missed while I was out.” 

“I’m sure they did, but SHIELD is still an agency with their own ideas and agendas. I promise you, you got a watered down version of real life. Do me a favor; when you get home look up what they say about The Great Depression and WWII. Do a little research on how we look back at those times. Then think about how it really was back then when you were living it. I would bet you lunch that the two don’t line up.” 

“I never thought about it that way.” Steve admits. “I’ll look it up today, promise.”

They arrive on Bucky’s stoop and he climbs up a step, looking down at Steve instead of up at him. He wants to know what Steve thinks once he does some research but doesn’t know how to ask. Luckily, Steve beats him to it. 

“I’m going to need your number if you’re taking me out to lunch.” Steve says casually, a light hint of teasing. 

Bucky blushes, trying to remind himself that he was the one who threw the lunch bet out there. Steve Rogers would never just ask him out like that. “I… uh… um…” he fumbles anyway.

Steve takes a step back in retreat, his own cheeks flaming. “I’m sorry, that was. I’m sorry. You clearly have a sick kid to get back to, and I’m sure a lovely wife waiting for you too.” he motions at Bucky’s bags. “Thank you, for being honest with me.” Steve turns to hurry off and, thankfully, Bucky’s brain catches up with him.

“Steve, no.” he blurts out. “No wife. Sick kid, yes. But no, um, no one else. If you want my number, I’ll give it to you. My schedule is a little weird because of my job but I do want to know what you think when you get done looking things up.” 

Steve smiles up at Bucky, soft and hopeful and genuine. It isn’t the All American facade grin he uses for the cameras, and it feels all the more special to Bucky because of it. Steve hands over his phone to Bucky so he can enter in his contact info and then sends him a quick text so Bucky has his number too. “So, I’ll call you later then?” Steve tries, sounding a little unsure still.

“Yeah, I’ll look forward to it, Steve.” Bucky looks up at his doorway, knowing he needs to get back to Becca but not wanting Steve to leave quite yet. 

Steve takes the hint and gives him another soft smile and a small wave as he turns and heads off down the bustling city sidewalk. 

Bucky stands there a moment, collecting himself and trying to process it all, before hurrying back upstairs to his little apartment to relieve Natasha of babysitting duty.

*** New chapters will be posted on Sunday and Wednesday nights until the fic is complete ***

[angrylizardjacket]

Run to Paradise {Nikki Sixx} Part 22

22. a loss is a loss is a loss

Summary: Things start to go south when Roxie joins the party. They go on tour and Lola starts spiraling.

Warnings: NSFW, big drug warning, (consensual) drugged sex warning, also angst.

ragtag bunch of misfits: @starlalove @toofasttofallinlove  @xrosegoldwolfx @obsessivesky  @trpwthme @lovehelpmewrite @colsons-crue  @marvelismylifffe  @lilytalebi @glitterdreamsz  @freddiessmallnipples @crazysaladchopshop @inthebackofmycarlaytheirbodies @dramatique-moi @missqueeniewrites @calspixie  @aryssav @catsoo12  @sweetshutter @silvertonguedserpent  @shamelessobsessions @lavenderbones22  @keepcalm-and-beyou @scarecrowmax  @nicholeh7 @unknownoblivion

{masterlist}

The new tour is off to a terrible start, despite the album's smashing success.

Tommy and Lola aren't on speaking terms, for the first time since they'd met.

Tommy had met a groupie named Roxie only a few weeks before the tour started, and he'd claimed it was love at first sight. Much to everyone else's chagrin, Tommy was adamant that she'd be joining them on tour. Normally, this wouldn't have bothered Lola; since Vince had started getting more serious with Sharise, she'd backed off considerably out of respect. But with Roxie? From the moment she'd met the woman, Lola had gotten a bad vibe from her, had gotten nothing but withering glares and jealous scoffs whenever Lola went anywhere near Tommy.

One particular evening, Lola had kissed Tommy on the cheek before she'd headed home from a club they were partying at, and Roxie had the gall to catch her outside, snarling for Lola to back off. Lola, for her part, wasn't much intimidated by the waifish groupie. Her lip curled as she gave the woman a disdainful look over.

"Don't tell me you're this stupid," Lola actually laughed, though Roxie just raised an eyebrow at her. "You're lucky I don't kick your fucking ass; don't ever think for a second that you call the shots here."

Lola had tried to bring it up to Tommy, but she'd never had the best way with words, and with Tommy love-drunk and Lola bitter and vulgar, it didn't come out the way she'd intended -

"Don't call her a bitch just because you're jealous!" Tommy's not yelling, persay, but he's close enough to it that Lola's hands fist reflexively. They're not even on the tour bus yet, they're loading their gear, and Roxie is late.

"I'm calling her a bitch because she's a bitch," Lola snarls, turning her temper on Tommy for the first time, and he seems shocked, but what had he really expected. "She's a gold digger and a -"

"Dude, you're such a hypocrite-"

"Oh shut up; I'm not a hypocrite, I've paid my way from day fucking one, and I think I've been pretty up front about being a whore." Crossing her arms, Lola looks smug, though her heart's not in her words, she's not enjoying it like she did with their usual banter. Tommy's genuinely angry by the look of him, fuming with frustrated, close to banging his head against the bus.

"Oh that's fucking rich," Tommy snorted, crossing his arms, unable to look Lola in the eyes.

"Oh I'm sorry," Lola snapped, sarcastic and sharp, "is it true love Tommy? Did you find The One, your soulmate, after she was done fucking Whitesnake?" Lola sneered.

"Fuck you, you absolute fucking hypocrite. I don't give a shit what you think, I love her -"

"Then you're dumber than I gave you credit for," Lola smirked, no warmth behind her eyes, "fuck dude, you fall for anyone with tits who gives you the time of day." It was mean, plain and simple, her words cruel as they cut him like a knife. He snaps, hands flexing into fists by his sides though he's rooted to the spot.

"My girlfriend isn't a whore, or a bitch; you're just jealous because I'm trying to be a good fucking boyfriend for someone who isn't you. It's not my fault you learned how to love from Nikki fucking Sixx, you possessive asshole!"

Silence hangs in the air, Tommy's mouth pressed into a thin, unhappy line. It settles, his words, his meaning, taking up all the space between them, and he begins to realise what he said, begins to feel like he's just picked the bad ending of a choose-your-own-adventure novel, with the way Lola's lips curl into a cruel imitation of a smile. It's not what he expected, and there's apologies laying heavy on his tongue, pressing against his teeth as he watches something die behind Lola's eyes.

"Tommy," she says, and every fucking hair on his arms stands straight up at her sweetly poisonous tone. He's waiting for a rebuttal, something cutting and cruel, laced with thinly-veiled threat, but no words seem to want to come out. Speechless, which she can't even seem to believe herself, she opens and closes her mouth a few times. He's hit too close to home, it's written all over her face as she struggles to reply.

"Lols-" he tries, voice soft and regretful, but her expression hardens.

"Fuck you." She breaks a little, her snort of derision a cruel, bitter sound, but it's hollow, and she can't look him in the eye. When she heads into the bus, she opens a bottle of Jack, drinking it like she's dying of dehydration, and seems happy enough to pass out at the back of the bus as the rest of the band bring the rest of their luggage aboard.

Doc, who'd already been on the bus, usually made it his personal mission in life to interfere with Lola's personal relationships with the band as little as possible, and though he acted as though he hadn't heard anything, he also does a rather solid of job of keeping the rest of the band at the front of the bus, giving her what little peace he could manage.

Lola isn't herself this tour, though she'd like to argue that she's more herself than ever.

And she and Tommy aren't on speaking terms.

It takes Nikki and Vince a while to notice how distant she is; they blame her the cold shoulder she gives Tommy on Roxie's presence, and they're right in one way, but not in the way that matters. Vince thinks she's spending less time with him because of Sharise. Nikki's just under the assumption that she's hooking up with groupies for a change of pace. The band goes out, goes to clubs and bars and strip clubs, but Lola disappears early in the night, and they'll see her the next morning wearing a grin that's all teeth, and a set of fresh bruises and scratches. They don't worry, but maybe they should.

"I've gone - I've gone fucking soft, how the fuck did I let that happen?" She laughs one night, but it's too honest, an anger in her words that simmers just below the surface. She's got a black eye and a split lip; she's always in black, in leather, but now there's splatters of blood. It's across her knuckles, her pants, her jacket; some of its hers, some of its not, and it shines in the light outside the strip club. The guy holding his heavily bleeding nose looks at her like she's lost her mind, stumbling away.

"You're fucking crazy," he snaps, his nervous gaze flicking to the bouncer, who watches with amusement. Lola's eyes are wide, grin sharp as she nods in agreement. The band is still inside, but she doesn't even try to get back in. Maybe she wants them to come looking for her, to notice that she's gone, but they don't.

Lola stumbles her own way to where she thinks the band's latest hotel is, though it's a coin flip as to whether she'll wind up there. Sometimes she'll find her way to another club or bar, or a group just as inebriated as she is will welcome her into their fold, if only for the one night.

Someone gives her a cigarette laced with something they don't tell her about, in a dirty motel three blocks from the band. She's sick within minutes, shaking and barely upright as she clutches at the sink in the bathroom.

"It's alright, baby, you're not used to it," the man that had given it to her pats her on the back. He holds her hair back with one hand, and takes a drag from the cigarette with the other. It's filthy, everything about being here, about him, about every other person in the other room, it's covered in grime, and Lola feels it in her gut right before she throws up, can feel it across every inch of her skin.

More than anything, she wishes she was back in LA, back in her mansion, on the sofa with Nikki, her head in his lap while he's working on some lyrics. Or laughing in Vince's kitchen as he attempts to teach her how to cook eggs, even though he's not particularly good at it himself, but it doesn't matter, because he's smiling at her with that glint in his eyes that makes Lola's heart ache a little now when she thinks about it. Or -

Lola stops herself before she can get too caught up, takes a long drink of water from the tap before turning, wearing her most winning smile.

"I'm a quick study." She takes the cigarette, but doesn't take a drag. Instead, she presses her lips to the man whose name she doesn't know, and lets him breathe smoke into her mouth. His tongue runs along her bottom lip, and his hand comes to grip at her ass, and everything feels so wrong.

Lola takes another hit of whatever's in the cigarette.

She feels it, feels ill, but now she feels herself relaxing. It's slowly becoming the best high she's ever had, and simultaneously one of the worst.

"What's in that?" She slurs a little when they finally come out of the bathroom, and Lola is happy to let him drape her on the sofa. The other people in the room, mostly strung out, are scattered on the two grubby double beds, in various states of undress. There's no shame because no-one's coherent enough to feel it.

"Don't you worry, baby; it feels good, don't it?" And she's not sure if he's referring to the drugs or his hand up her skirt, but she laughs, low and syrupy, and nods.

Someone else in the room stumbles to the cassette player by the table, and Lola gives a start at the familiar riff that claws it's way from the speakers. She can't help herself, she starts laughing, the sound bright and sharp, so different from the dreamy sound that had escaped her moments ago.

"What?" The man frowned, his hand stilling on her thigh, confusion written all over his face.

"It's about me." That just seemed to confuse him further. Lola, for a moment, hummed along with Looks That Kill, "she's got the looks that kill," she sang under her breath, her hand finding his, guiding him to finish what he'd started, even has he frowned in confusion.

"What the fuck," the man laughed, before he chuckled in disbelief, grinning brightly, his head following his hand. Lola gasped and arched, eyes falling closed as she hums along to the song, hips shifting to the beat of the drum.

"Nikki wrote it about me," she breathes, and the man stops.

"You're a big fan of Motley Crue then?" He asked, as if humoring her. Instead of answering, Lola whined gently, her hand fisting in his hair, ignoring the question.

"Don't stop," she practically begs, and it works. They fuck right there on the sofa, with a shitty Motley Crue cassette as the background noise, and Lola is pretty sure that she'll find the humour in that later. If she remembers it. For now, it feels fucking incredible, whatever was in that cigarette has her on cloud nine, the man between her legs knows what he's doing, and when she closes her eyes she can pretend she's with someone she actually loves.

She comes with Tommy's name on her lips, and despite being high as all hell, the man - who absolutely is not Tommy, despite how lanky he is - takes enough offence that he tells her to get lost. Lola stumbles to her feet, unsteady, and spits at him. He shoves her, but she's knows how to keep her balance, even if she stumbles. He calls her pathetic, and she takes the cassette player from the table, and smacks him in the face with it. The music cuts out with the crash, and he drops like a ton of bricks. Lola's hands shake as she takes out the Motley Crue tape, and she leans in close where he's passed out on the grubby floor.

"You don't deserve this," she scoffs, waving the tape, ignoring as one of the other occupants of the room asks why the music's stopped. Lola ignores her, and makes her way outside.

Much to her own surprise, she'd remembered the name of the hotel the band had been staying at, and when she collapses against the front desk, it's only a few minutes before an irate Doc comes to collect her.

"You smell like shit," he tells her sharply, an arm around her as he leads her to the elevator.

"Thank you," Lola grinned, eyes unfocused and hazy, leaning almost her whole weight on the manager, stumbling to keep up with him. She's still got the tape clutched in her hand.

"Nikki's got company," is what he tells her as he lets her into her own room, and Lola tries to swing at him, but he shoves her none to gently into the room, shutting the door behind her. It's like she's been winded, standing in the middle of the room, clutching at the tape so tightly it cracks in her fist.

And maybe it hurts that no-one seems to notice or care that she doesn't spend most nights in the same hotel as the band. Or maybe someone should be worried that she keeps waking up in parking lots and can't remember how she got there.  But she knows if she makes it back with them, she'll just remember how the people she loves are all moving on.

Maybe, she'd thought, just maybe Nikki would see that she's spiraling; he's the only one left she's still allowed to love. But he takes it too easily in stride, adapts to not having her around, fills the space she's left by his side with any number of meaningless flings in cities all across the country.

Tommy was wrong. She'd never learned to love from Nikki, who lets go too easily; she'd learned to love from her mother, where to love is to hold someone close until they want to run, it seems, until they burn.

She doesn't want to love like that.

So she'd let them go.

On the tour bus the next day, she'll talk and laugh with them like nothing's wrong, and in that moment, it won't be. Nikki will be next to her, or Vince will have an arm around her, and she'll take a swig from Mick's vodka when he offers it. She doesn't spiral when the sun can see her, but that's easier said than done when she meets Tommy's gaze, and just for the moment his smile falters.

She tells herself she doesn't need him.

"Nikki's got company."

She doesn't need any of them. Not tonight. Not ever.

In a few hours, Doc will come wake her up, everyone will pile on the bus, and she'll pretend like she doesn't miss living in a shithole, alone with Nikki, uncomplicated; the two of them against the world.

[rosyerim]

pocket sized!nct dream

basically nct dream but,,,they can fit in your hand,,, also mark isn’t here but I couldn't find a dream gif w/o mark 

haechan;

usually sitting ontop of your right shoulder, judging every task you do

“why does your handwriting resemble chicken scratch?”

“your hair is greasy, you should wash it”

“that ramen isn't cooked properly, the water is too hot!”

“haechan I will throw you in the pot”

he shuts up realll quick

but then he's back to whining & will only shut up if you give him half a cookie since he can't finish it whole

he loves a good ole KUWTK marathon but you have to remind him he is not actually Kim kardashian and you’re not his assistant

once he was looking for his your headphones & started snapping his fingers at you to get them lol you weren't happy

he doesn't even have to try but haechan can make you laugh at literally anything he’s just naturally funny 

so whenever you’re in a bad mood, the boys send him out to you to sooth you & it usually works lmao

is like your own personal stylist, he makes sure to check out your outfit before you go out anywhere

when he doesn't like it he just gives you a certain look up and down

“you don’t like it? whats wrong w it?”

“that top with those heels? whats right with it?

renjun;

steals your pencils that are basically stubs so he can do some drawing of his own :’((

makes you stay up late with him to watch conspiracy theories about the universe but then falls asleep on your phone screen 20 mins in

loves when you buy little stones for yourself, for like protection & well being, etc and renjun will spends hours wiping them down & researching everything he can on the stones

uses your phone just so he can learn how to do ballet from the comfort of your house but is still too shy to show you a dance routine for now

hates hates scary stuff but insists on watching the documentary about serial killers & afterwards he usually ends up sleeping on the pillow your head is on because he swears he's being watched lol

prefers sleeping in your hoodie pockets but has had one too many near death experiences with you not realising & catching him as he falls out so now you carefully pick up any article of clothing you own

likes the piano tiles app because he can basically play it using his lil feets 

he also beats your high score so you're lowkey salty but so long as he’s happy 

comes to you first about all his problems & likes to have a lil venting session with you & him cuddled in the armchair, sharing a cup of hot chocolate because he doesn't like bitter things

sometimes when you’re feeling kinda down he sits down on your shoulder & sings to you softly in chinese because he doesn't want you to,,,feel alone,,,my heart,,,,take it(●��□`)♡

jeno;

the quietest boy out of the six and the sweetest little boy ever :’((

brings you flowers he picked out of your neighbours garden covered in dirt because he saw how stressed out you were abt studying & reminds you to drink your water <33

likes to sit on your lap watching morning cartoons, giggling away behind his tiny bowl of cereal 

is best friends with the next door neighbours cat yet is deathly allergic to them??

he nearly scared you one morning when you were woken up by jeno’s teeny screams from around your house but turns out he was just riding on the cats back

you ended up having to take care of him for two days since he got super sick

you tried to scold him but he was still on the high from being up so high so he's just like 

“okay I'm sorry I won't do it again (｡◝‿◜｡)”

goes on random junk food hunts around your kitchen, can be found eating half a dorito chip in your cupboard at 3am mood

has a newfound love for asmr’s & if you ever lose your phone, worry not because jeno has it & is watching; long nails tapping different objects for two hours, no talking, only sounds 

also looooves dancing so he likes free styling with jisung by the radio & gets all shy & blushy when you compliment him 

jaemin;

lives in your shirt pocket because its 1) close to your heart & 2) very warm in there & 3) doesn’t have to leave your side!!

loves you v much & expresses it by leaving little pecks on your fingertips :’)))

likes to sleep on your fluffy plushies because its super comfy to him

his favourite is obvi ryan

fave spot is standing on your counter doing the best he can to help you bake sweet treats

imagine him standing holding up a whisk attempting to mix the wet ingredients with the dry ones but ending up falling :(( 

bub gets sad because he's afraid he messed it up but gets happy again when you set him on decorating the cakes :)) he’s super concentrate & even goes as far as to write your name best he can with icing

if its long then he just writes ur nickname 

likes to spend some of his free time reading books

the first time you were really confused on why your english book standing on its spine, had pages opening randomly 

turns out it was just jaemin being an intellectual

 you end up helping him flick the pages tho after he gets a paper cut :(

he really milks it tho like

“oh no y/n my hand is in pieces, I think im dying ε-(≖д≖﹆)”

but once you give him a hello kitty bandaid & hugs he's okay

chenle;

likes to sit in the palm of your hand & talk to you about how your day went & about how his day went & the birds he saw in the sky today & how he likes ice cream & basically it’s him babbling away to you

but you don't mind it, he's so endearing :’)

goofiest little man, tells you random jokes he heard on the radio & gets all smiley when you laugh at them, even if they're not funny

makes you play dominos with him but by the time he's gotten three standing up, you've got the whole thing set up

doesn't stop him from pushing the first one down and shrieking in delight when they all fall in sync aw cute baby

he also watches some KUWTK w/ haechan as he loves the drama & he picks up the lingo 

“hey lele have you seen my phone?im so annoyed I can't find it”

“omg there are literally people dying y/n ੧| ‾́ー ‾́ |੭”

you end up banning them from watch it 

even tho he’s small he eats a loooott

he will eat an entire bowl of ramen if you let him & you try to stop him but all he has to do it be like

“please let me eat it all y/n i wont get sick i love u uwuଘ(੭ˊ꒳ˋ)੭✧”

“oh of course you can you cutie here you go (n˘v˘•)¬”

he ends up with a tummy ache, again so you’re looking after him, again

not that you mind, he's the babiest of babies (˵¯͒⌄¯͒˵)

jisung;

can be found sleeping on top of the fluffiest make up brush you own

sleeps everywhere, likes sleeping under your carpet??

when you try waking him up he just falls back asleep in your hand :,))

if he's not sleeping, he's free styling by your radio and you can't help but record it

swears he doesn't like your slime yet you've had to help him out of multiple sticky sticky situations because he got too excited playing with your strawberry scented slime

watched one episode of gordon ramsay & swears he's the masterchef 

“aii that’s not how you fry the rice! you need to wait until it sizzles dude do you even know what you’re doing?!”

you set him down in the timeout corner

but he’s just chilling like

“if I get food poisoning its your fault (｡･･｡)”

picks up the local whiteboy lingo after he listens to his “lit asf playlist”

will randomly say aye & start nae naeing to you like, tapping your pen on the desk when you're studying 

won't admit it but loves when you cup him in your hands & sway him from side to side & he trusts you enough not to drop him

also has a weird habit of surfboard in the sink with a barbie surfboard & tells you to blow on the water so he can “surf”

you do it tho because his little giggles fill your heart

bonus; imagine all of them in little onesies of their fave animals & little cute hoods ♡✧。 (⋈◍＞◡＜◍)。✧♡

[emotionally-imbruised]

Okay lol I didnt want to send it again and have you had already gotten it lmao. Well I was just thinking like we know how YN was during the time between her leaving Harry's and him and Gemma showing up at her place, but we don't anything about his time. Like, how he felt knowing she left while he was puking for example, and all the rough times during that week and the times he wanted her to hold him, thinking he fucked up, Gemma persuading his sick mopey ass to go to her place. You know? :)

I PROMISE I DIDNT FORGET ABOUT THIS BUT HI HERE SHE IS

Accidentally In Love: Harry’s POV (kinda?)

“What’s the problem, I don’t know. Well, maybe I’m in love.”

Pt. 1 | Pt. 2

A/N: I recommend reading these other parts first to make more sense of this, but like, you do you fam

In the many years, Harry has spent getting to know you from you being one of Gemma’s best friends as well as one of his own, it’s very easy for him to deem you as unpredictable. You like keeping people on their toes. Whether it be with your witty humor or sarcastic remarks, there’s something about making people face the unknown that you find rather intriguing; even if it’s unintentional and at the worst possible times.

During those years of forming a significant relationship with you, Harry also couldn’t prevent the attraction and feelings he developed along with it. However, he tried his best to not do anything in regards to it for the sake of his sister, as well as the thought of there being no chance in hell you felt the same. That was until he decided to invite you over to watch some movies on Christmas Eve because he was sick and didn’t want to be alone. Somewhere in the process of doing something so simple and harmless while cuddled up on his couch, it was determined that you indeed felt the same about him and well, things escalated pretty quickly from there.

As someone who has made out with quite a few people throughout his years, he’d never been so taken aback by how good someone’s lips felt against his own. It was something he found himself getting lost in, and knew he’d continue craving if it were to end before he was ready. He couldn’t get enough of this new sensation and wanted to have you closer – finding pleasure in the way you felt on his lap with your hands being tangled into his curls; moaning against his lips to indicate you're enjoying what’s going on as well… But then his mum and sister walked in.

In the whirlwind of events, the illness Harry had been feeling before all this took over and he had to rush out of the room as his mother and sister silently asked for answers; leaving you to stand there shocked, alone, and unsure of what to do. A few moments later one he finishes emptying the contents of his stomach and finally recollects himself, he is thrown a complete curveball about the entire predicament he’s found himself in. 

“What do you mean she left?” Harry questions his mother with furrowed eyebrows while staring at her through the bathroom mirror’s reflection. A soft sigh escapes his mouth as he reaches forward to turn off the rushing water coming from the tap after he’d just finished brushing his teeth once finally being able to stand up from his hunched over position beside the toilet. He turns around to face his mum but has to take a moment and leans against the sink as he starts feeling a bit nauseous again. “Y/N, s-she really left?”

“Harry, I think you need to go lay down,” Anne’s soothing voice states in a concerned tone, but Harry just closes his eyes and shakes his head.

“Where’s Gemma?”

“I asked her to get a damp cloth for your forehead, you’ve got a fever love,” she continues as he looks at her again. Just as he’s about to say something else – his sister appears in the doorway with a cloth and wastes no time in chucking it towards him as anger takes over her features.

“What the hell was that Harry?” Gem seethes as her brother reaches up to catch the cloth just before it can peg him in the chest.

“Gemma,” Anne warns her daughter, but the oldest Styles sibling just isn’t having it. “Take a couple breaths, please.”

“No, mum. There are literally so many other people he could’ve chosen to mess around with, but he just had to choose my best friend? What even is that?” Her eyes snap to those of her brothers, and boy if looks could kill; Harry would cease to exist. “She’s not one of those fuck buddies that you just get to toss away once you’re done with them, Harry. She's-.”

“Do you not think I know that?” He snaps at her and lets out an aggravated groan as he harshly pushes a hand through his curls. “How could you think I’d ever do something like that to Y/N? Fuck, I need to call her.”

No more words are exchanged between the three as Harry exits the washroom and makes way to the living room to retrieve his cell phone from where it’s laying on the couch. He wastes no time in finding your contact and pressing the call button. The first couple of rings go by and Harry feels his heart pace increase when the other end of the call finally picks up; however, that rapid beating he feels diminishes as your voice chimes in asking him to leave a message and that you’d back to him as soon as you could.

With a defeated sigh, he waits for the tone as he stressfully tugs at his hair. “Hey Y/N, uh yeah, it’s me. Mum told me that you left and well, I really think we should talk about this. Give me a call back when you can, please.” Without any other words, he ends the call and tosses the device aside; thinking you’d call him back once you were home – but unfortunately, that never happens.

The days afterward come and go in a blur for the Rockstar, but not in a good way. He tries to be as positive as he can seeing as his mother and sister flew all the way to LA just to visit him for the holidays, but there’s one thing that is always nagging at the back of his mind despite how hard he tries to focus on literally anything else other than, well, you... And how it seems you’ve very much gone out of your way to ignore him.

You’re all that’s consumed his thoughts, and it’s slowly beginning to eat him alive because he hasn’t been able to talk to you. Did he do something wrong? Was it a mistake finally telling you how he felt about you? Why haven’t you called him back? Are you regretting kissing him?… Maybe you’re just embarrassed and want to pretend like none of this happened, but that is the last thing Harry wants.

Reaching out to you has become a lost cause, and as the days turn into weeks; he continues to send you a message every day in attempts to finally speak with you about all of this. He’s feeling rather pathetic about the whole ordeal, but he cares too much to not keep trying.

Things between him and Gemma have been a bit awkward during this time, to say the least, but with their unspoken sibling pact to not address the elephant in the room until they’re both ready to calmly speak about the matter; they avoid it altogether… Until one day, Gemma decides to change that.

It’s now been over two weeks since Christmas and Harry’s in a rough state. He’s somehow managed to become even sicker than he was before the holiday’s. It’s left him with nothing else to do but wallow in self-pity over everything that hasn’t gone his way as of late – and to watch an unnecessary amount of TV as he remains planted on the couch; jotting down the odd lyric that comes to mind when his eyes need a break from staring at the television screen for so long.

One afternoon, he finally stands up from the couch; wrapped in a blanket as he makes way to the kitchen for a glass of water as a rerun of Shrek 2 starts playing on the television. The opening scene of Shrek and Fiona on their honeymoon can be heard from the other room and has him scoffing at the cliché romance being displayed when he can’t even get a text back, but also has him nodding his head to the catchy Counting Crows song that plays in the background. Soon enough he’s humming along to the few words he recognizes and doesn’t notice the presence that stands behind him now, watching him in his own little world and trying their hardest not to laugh.

“Seriously?” Gemma’s voice speaks up from the doorway, startling the Rockstar. She chuckles as her brother whips around to look at her, and shakes her head before continuing. “This is what your moping has turned into?”

“I have not been moping,” he grumbles and rolls his eyes as Gem leaves the room for a second to go turn off the TV before returning shortly after. “Heeeeey, m’watching that.”

“Not moping hmm? Then what’s with all the sappy rom-coms you’ve been watching for the past two weeks straight?”

“I like rom-coms, and I’ve been sick Gemma,” he replies, narrowing his gaze at her as he moves to the cupboard to grab an Advil for the headache he feels coming on. “Why are you on my case?”

“Have you talked to Y/N?” The older Styles questions, causing Harry to freeze in his tracks completely.

He lets his shoulders slouch before slowly turning back around to face his sister. “No, I haven’t. She won’t answer any of my calls or texts.”

“Thought she might pull something like this on you,” Gemma continues. “She always was a coward when it came to boys she liked. Anyways, I’m going to see her. Are you coming?”

“Right now?” He asks incredulously and looks down at the baggy grey hoodie and jeans he’s wearing; shaking his head as he processes everything. “Wait, when did you talk to her?”

“I haven’t yet,” she explains. “But I’ll send her a text to see if she’s home and we’ll go from there. I’d be surprised if she weren’t though, mum said she seemed pretty sick when they ran into each other last week.”

“Mum and Y/N talked last week, and no one wanted to tell me?” He asks slightly annoyed

“Hey, I only found out last night. Mum and I discussed all of it… this.”

With a heavy sigh, the two know what is to come. The elephant has been addressed, and Harry couldn’t be more relieved but panicked at the same time. He observes his sister as he waits for her to continue, but when she doesn’t; he takes it as a hint for him to speak up. With a deep breath, he prepares himself to tell her how he’s felt for quite some time, and it’s pretty nerve-wracking. “Gem, I know you probably don’t want to hear this because Y/N is your best friend and all… but I like her a lot. I have for a really long time now but was always too terrified to let her know that, and now that something has actually happened between us; I-I just can’t stop thinking about it. I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable, but it’s how I feel and-.” 

“I get it, Harry,” she cuts him off, and sends him a small smile. “I can tell how much her not responding has been bugging you with how much you’ve been sulking around, and not really doing much… This is all very weird. That’s for sure. But who am I to stand between my best friend and brother if they really do have such significant feelings for each other?”

“Do you mean that?”

“I do,” she says with a sigh. “Now, I wouldn’t be offering to take you over to her apartment, so she’s basically forced to talk with you if I wasn’t. So, are you coming or not?”

“Yeah, I’ll go,” he replies with a chuckle, moving around the counter to pull his sister into a little sideways hug. “Thanks, Gem.”

“Don’t thank me yet, you still have to win over your girl.”

Their drive to your apartment is filled with conversation about just how long Harry’s felt this way about you. He explains how he doesn’t even know when he started liking you as more than a friend, but how it’s always been something that was there. He has no issue in telling his sister his favourite things about you, including the little things that just simply have had him wrapped around your finger for years now, but neither of you had bothered to notice.

Gemma can’t help but feel happy for her brother as he goes off about this incredible girl who just so happens to be one of her favourite people on this entire planet. As your best friend she’s always felt protective over who you had relationships with because no one was ever good enough for you in her eyes, but with Harry now stepping up to make that type of effort; it’s just different… a good different, and it makes her smile hearing how much admiration he truly has for you. Once he’s done rambling, she glances at him sideways and smirks to herself. “You love her, don’t you?”

With a deep breath and the pushing of his hand through his hair as he realizes they’re pulling up to your apartment building, Harry can’t help but smile at the thought. “I think I might.”

The two park the car and are soon making way up to your apartment. Much to Harry’s dismay, Gemma doesn’t listen when he suggests just knocking on your door to get your attention and decides to use the key you had given her to just barge on in instead. He doesn’t see your reaction to his and his sister’s sudden appearance, but with the loud thud that sounds from what he assumes is you falling to the ground; he knows they’ve caught you off guard.

He stays back a bit as he watches Gemma help you up from the ground, and observes as two of the most important women in his life interact – happy to see them talking again, but insanely nervous because soon enough he’ll have to speak up. His heart is fluttering like crazy just by being near you again, and as much as he wants to be upset with you for ignoring him; he instantly feels himself melt as soon as your gaze meets his.

“Oh fuck, H,” your voice croaks out before being overwhelmed by an intense coughing fit. He hates seeing you like this and wants nothing more than to pull you against his chest and rub your back until the coughs subside, but knows he shouldn’t.

With a shake of his head, he steps forward and expresses his concern. “Y/N, please tell me you’ve gone to the doctor.”

Before you can answer, Gemma speaks up, and the two of you soon discuss what happened on Christmas Eve. Harry observes as you apologize to his sister, and feels himself relax slightly as it seems you’re not regretful of what had happened between you and him. 

“Can’t say I’m the biggest fan of my best friend and brother being all over each other like the way you two were, but I can say that you two are each one of the few people I think are actually good enough for the other. Y/N, as weird as it is to even think about – you’re one of the best people I could ever imagine my little brother with; and Harry, you’ve got some work to do, but Y/N can help you get to her level,” Gem explains, and Harry scoffs. 

“Thanks?” He mutters, but can’t help the stupid grin that’s stretching across his face because his sister's approval means more to him than she’ll ever know it does. He knows the weight that feels as if it’s been lifted from his chest is what you’re feeling as well, and sends you a knowing look before the two of you move in to engulf Gemma in a group hug against her will. 

Once the eldest Styles has squirmed her way out of your joint hold on her, she mentions how she needs to head out, and soon departs; leaving the two of you alone. 

As soon as she’s out the door, you turn to face the Rockstar, and he awkwardly glances to the ground; not knowing how to approach the situation between the two of you. “H, I was so caught up in worrying about your mum and Gemma I didn’t even consider your feelings in all of this, and I know I’ve said it a lot lately… but I’m especially sorry for how I just left after well, we kissed and-.”

“S’alright Y/N,” he chuckles at your rambling. He steps towards you and feels those damn butterflies in his stomach again, mentally cursing himself for feeling so soft. “I’ve never had a girl walk out on me like that before.”

“Is that supposed to sound appealing to me?” You scoff dramatically. 

“No, I guess not,” he continues laughing, and you let out a huff. “But m’sorry as well because I never told you how I felt about you sooner. It’s been for quite some time now, I’ve just been too much of a coward to do anything about it. S’a bit intimidating having feelings for someone who is not only your sister’s best friend but also one of your own. Not necessarily an easy thing to discuss.”

“We could always start talking about it slowly?” You suggest and smile at him shyly. “Could watch a movie and see where the evening takes us?”

He smirks smugly but slowly nods in agreement; feeling a great sense of deja vu at the idea. “I’d like that.”

With broad smiles, the two of you make way to the couch and bundle up again… together. Once you’re both comfy and all cuddled against the other, you glance up at him and speak again. “It’s your turn to pick the movie.”

He tugs his bottom lip between his teeth as he gazes down at you, wanting nothing more than to crash his lips against yours again as he takes in the way you gaze up at him affectionately. “Let’s watch Shrek. I’ve had a song from that movie stuck in my head for a while now,” he proposes and wraps an arm around your waist, so you’re snuggled up against him even more. With a small smile, you nod before unexpectedly reaching behind his neck to pull him in for a sudden deep kiss.

The action catches him off guard, but he responds instantly by leaning back against the armrest and pulling you with him; firmly gripping your waist so that you remain on top of him as you moan against his lips seductively. 

Maybe you two won’t be watching Shrek after all. 

[bdluejay]

TWRP + The Protomen Concert

So I just wanna infodump about the TWRP concert tonight before I forget everything (walls upon walls of text under the cut, youve been warned)

So it was a 1hr 45min drive up to Richmond and it was a fairly nice drive aside from the inevitable traffic. I listened to TWRP’s discography minus TTT because time. About 30 minutes into the drive I’m singing along, dancing a little, and then I realize. I forgot. My fucking. Tickets. Left em right at home. Fuck. So it takes me 20 minutes to overcome the shock and try to figure out what to do. I didn’t have enough time to turn around and drive back, but the interstate was too narrow and going too fast for me to pull over and figure out what to do so I kept driving and hoping that I was gonna figure it out when I got there. So the rest of the drive goes smoothly, not too much traffic, and I didn’t get lost after I exited the interstate! I got a spot on the lot right next to the venue so I didn’t have to walk at all which was awesome. So I get down to the end of the line and say, “Is this where the cool people are? Haha!” y’know, like a nerd, and I start talking to the people in line with me. And I shit you not, before I even get to say much, the person in front of me goes, “Hey, do you need an extra ticket?” Like, holy shit, really? How fucking lucky was I! I get in line right behind a person who has an extra ticket and they offer it before I even say anything. What a godsend. So I relax finally and enjoy talkin to the folks in line and try not to piss myself because I’ve had half a bottle of water and a smoothie in the past 2 hours.

So it turns 6 and the doors open and we come flooding in, I get to use the bathroom and the head over to the stage to secure a spot. I get about 3 or 4 people between me and the stage and I’m pretty content because it’s the closest I’ve ever gotten to the stage at a concert before.  Then I feel a tap on my shoulder and this guys says hi and gestures to my shirt (I was wearing the shirt for NSP’s Tour de Force tour) and asked which show I went to. Apparently we both went to the one at silver spring which was sick and we started talking about our mutual love of TWRP and a bunch of other stuff. He (collin was his name, im pretty sure?) was super sweet and nice and easy to talk to and we both went hoarse because we talked for the whole hour we were waiting for the show to start lol. He actually had some cough drops bc he was overcoming a cold and gave me one which was super nice.

SO the lights dim and the boys come out one by one, Havve, Meouch, Phobos, then Sung on his stupid hoverboard that I love. And they start playing Back in Town and I’m like o FUCK and they play generous dimensions and im like fuck yeah and they do their dumb schtick that never gets old “that was song #5, and next is song #11, and song #11 goes out to all the ladies out here tonight” and like a sucker i laugh and cheer every time. the setlist is super fuzzy for me but they played life party and i kinda almost cried cause god i really love that song a lot. and they played this like, holy shit amazing medley of a bunch of their songs all the way from 2nite to TTT and i totally wasnt expecting it at all but it was really amazing, i wish i had recorded the whole thing (fingers crossed that someone else has) but they played parts of pale blue dot which is my fave TWRP song and thats all i wanted and needed. ladyworld was awesome, and ending it with all night forever was absolutely perfect, kinda tying the whole set together with the beginning and end of return to wherever. TWRPs whole set was phenomenal and i had so much fun dancing and singing along. i didnt wanna blink the whole time because i wanted to see everything i could and they were just great and i gotta stop talkin about them cause im just gonna end up in a loop saying how much i love TWRP and how amazing they were tonight. 

but then. the protomen come out. and they play phantom racer. and just. holy. fucking. shit. twrp has such a chill vibe and their energy is good but the second the protomen came out the energy went from 100 to a MILLION. twrp and protomens performance of phantom racer was just. amazing. no, amazing is an understatement, but theres really no words to describe just how fucking fantastic they both were together. i wish i could relive that song over and over again forever. the feeling of absolute joy and excitement and happiness i felt during that performance is something i wish i could bottle and experience forever.

so onto the protomen. i had never listened to any of their music before the concert other than phantom racer. but holy SHIT. they fucking rocked it. i was blown away by how talented everyone was. the two lead singers were powerful and amazing, the music was just, *italian finger kiss* MWAH that good shit, like, tomorrow i gotta listen to all their music because every single song they played i immediately loved. and i cant neglect to mention their stage presence. these guys were so cool and intense and their whole vibe was so fuckin rockin. i mean, the metallic gray facepaint and bandanas and sunglasses and masks and helments and robot gun arms????? fuck YEAH!!!!! like i had hopeful expectations for the protomen but they blew me outta the fucking water holy shit. seriously i regret that i didnt listen to them beforehand or i woulda been headbanging so hard. also at the end one of the guys stage dove and i almost got to touch him but i was scared to get under him cause im not very strong and i didnt wanna drop a whole man onto myself. but yeah they were sick.

oh and speaking of headbanging there were a few dudes in front me who were SO energetic and pumped for the protomen like, it was infectious. they danced so hard and they like did this little dance with a couple other people that kinda reminded me of a ska dance?? like yknow the one where you just kinda kick your legs?? idk but they seemed to be having a lot of fun and it made me smile. they also had a 4 person mosh pit and i got knocked around a few times (its okay, i know how it is getting really excited and a lil too rowdy, i was fine) but like those dude were so fun and their excitement was so infectious i couldnt help but smile and have more fun. i got to talk with them some while we were in line for merch and since i was there for TWRP and they were there for the protomen we both gushed about how much we loved each band with all our hearts. they were also super sweet and walked me to my car because i was anxious to walk alone in a city that id never been to before.

so yeah!! tonght was an amazing experience that i hope to never forget. i met some super nice people and talked myself hoarse and had such an amazing time and im so glad that everything turned out how it did. thank you to twrp, the protomen, the broadberry staff, that one person in line, collin, and those two rockin protomen fans for making tonight a wonderful and perfect night.

[queen-of-the-avengers]

I Can Always Count On You

Characters: Tom Holland x Reader, Tom Hiddleston, Anthony Mackie, minor characters

Word Count: 1,344

Warnings: fluff all around

Request: Hi if your requests are still open can you write one with Tom Holland where his gf joins him on a con and she's hanging behind him while he's signing autographs with the marvel actors(maybe Mackie or Hiddles?) and she passes out or something and Tom notices when some of the fans gasp and he's really worried and can it end with fluff? Thank you and it's okay if you don't want to write this.

Summary: You’re sick and as much as you hate it, Tom is there to make sure you feel better.

Author’s Note: This fandom has too many Toms. If you have any requests, please send them in! I need new things to write LOL. This is unbeta’d and any and all mistakes are all on me.

Feedback the glue that holds my writing together

Tags at the bottom

Acting wasn’t something you normally did, but you always got to go to conventions with your boyfriend, Tom. The amount of support Tom and the rest of the cast from every Marvel movie was amazing. Every time you went, you got to meet amazing people, talk with them, learn who they are, and just had an amazing time with everyone. You didn’t get to go on stage and answer questions since you weren’t an actress, but you could either be found backstage, watching it from a monitor or in the audience and pretend you were one of them.

The only time you got to be with Tom and watch him interact with the fans was when he is signing pictures and other things. Tom Hiddleston, Anthony Mackie, Chris Evans, and Sebastian Stan were the ones on Tom’s side of the room, and you were right behind them just chilling. These signings could last a long time, but you were prepared for how hot the room could be. Hundreds, if not thousands of people were inside this huge room, and although the air conditioning was on full-blast, it didn’t help in cooling you down.

“You doing okay?” your boyfriend asked, always checking on you every so often.

“Yeah, it’s just so hot in here. Is it usually like this?” you asked, grabbing the collar of your shirt and pulling it away from your body.

“Unfortunately, yes,” Tom Hiddleston interjected, turning to face you. “There’s not much we can do about it. This part is almost over, though.”

“Yeah, then it’s picture time, and we can go back to the hotel room,” the younger Tom said with a smile.

“Okay,” you nodded and let the actors get back to signing and taking quick selfies with everyone who passed by their station.

“How are you?” you looked up to see your boyfriend smiling at a young woman who couldn't stop smiling.

“Good, you’re such an amazing actor,” she blushed and gushed.

“Thank you,” Tom smiled and signed her poster, right next to where the eldest Tom signed his.

“Um, can I have Y/N sign it too?” she asked, and your head popped up when you heard your name.

“Me? You want my signature?” you asked with a confused look on your face. Nonetheless, you got up from your comfortable position and walked over to the desk.

“Yeah. I mean, only if you want to give it. You’re just so amazing, and I know you don’t at or anything but you’re all over Tom’s Instagram and you’re like, really pretty.”

“That’s so nice,” you smiled and grabbed Tom’s sharpie. “Thank you. You’re a beautiful young woman,” you signed your name just below Tom’s before sliding the poster over to her.

“Thank you!” She blushed and moved onto Anthony Mackie who stood next to your boyfriend.

“Maybe you should act,” Tom laughed.

“You know I can’t. I can’t keep a serious face for the life of me,” you laughed, and kissed his cheek before going back to your original spot. The next hour went by fast. You got to sign a few more posters and although you didn’t act, you did consider working with Tom on set so you could be closer to him. You didn’t get a degree in film production for nothing.

However, with time passing, the room got hotter. No matter how much water you drank, it never seemed to cool you down. The headache started after signing your first poster, but you pushed it away, thinking more water would make it disappear. It didn’t seem to work, and now it was back stronger than ever.

The noise surrounding you didn’t help either. Your breaths got shorter as the pain got worse. The room started spinning, but you didn't want to make a scene in front of everyone, so you kept your mouth shut about it. If you closed your eyes and sat down, maybe it would go away on its own. After trying that, and after opening your eyes, the room swayed even more. You looked at Tom to tell him there was a problem, but your eyes rolled to the back of your head as the darkness consumed you.

Because of the noise and everyone constantly pulling at his attention, Tom didn’t seem to notice you behind him. He smiled, signed papers, and kept the line moving.

“Hi!” Another female fan smiled at Tom when she came to him.

“Hello, darling, how are you?” he smiled and took the poster she wanted him to sign.

“I’m good, it's nice to meet you.”

“What’s your name?”

“Bailey,” she smiled, but when he was done signing, she didn’t move to Anthony. “Do you think I could have Y/N sign this as well?”

“I’m sure she wouldn't mind,” Tom nodded, and Bailey looked behind him for you, but gasped when she saw you slumped over and very pale.

“Is she okay?” Tom turned around, and his eyes widened when he saw you. He immediately went to your side, and lightly tapped the side of your face, but you wouldn’t wake up.

“Tom, she’s not waking up,” your boyfriend panicked. Tom Hiddleston looked at you and immediately went to your side. The older man knew what t do in times like this which was a good thing because the younger one didn’t.

“She fainted. I guess it was too hot for her to handle. We need to get her on the ground,” Tom instructed and your boyfriend did as he was told. The other actors stopped signing as a group of people gathered to see if you were going to be okay. When you were firmly planted on the ground, Tom Hiddleston went to your legs and grabbed them.

“We need to elevate her legs to get the blood flowing. When she wakes up, don’t let her get up or she will faint again.”

“Got it,” Tom Holland nodded. Hiddleston lifted your legs, and everyone waited to see if you would wake up. Your boyfriend held your hand, and stared at your face, hoping you would be alright. After about a minute, your eyes fluttered open, and you groaned.

“Oh, thank god,” Tom whispered under his breath. The eldest man set your legs down as the younger one tended to your needs.

“What happened?” you asked, not exactly sure how you got on the ground.

“You fainted. I’m sorry, I should have gotten you to a cooler place earlier.”

“It’s not your fault. I should have said something,” you used Tom’s strong arm to aid you in getting up. Anthony Mackie handed you a cold water, and you gladly took it.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Tom asked worriedly.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I just need to lay down in a smaller and cooler room.”

“I’ll take you,” he said to you before turning to the other Tom. “Will you cover for me until I get back?”

“Of course,” he nodded. Tom let you use him as a support system as he led you to the closest private room in the convention center. Slowly sitting down on the couch, you turned and laid on it. The cool room did wonders to your body, and Tom made sure you had plenty of cold water.

“Thank you,” you smiled, and grabbed his hand.

“Are you sure you don’t need anything else? I’m sure they don’t need me anymore…” Tom rambled but you cut him off.

“Go back out there. There are a lot of fans who came to see you today. I’ll be right here the whole time, trust me.”

“If you need me, I’ll have my phone out, okay?” Tom sighed but got up.

“I know,” you nodded.

“I love you,” he smiled as he backed up to the door.

“I love you,” you responded just as he left. Closing your eyes, you let the cold air wash over your body. Even though Tom needed to go back to signing, you knew he would always take care of you, even if he wasn't in the room with you.

If you want to be tagged, add yourself to this document!

@jae-sch @likiyoshi-lijie @tricksterdean @team-free-gallagher @2dreamcatcher8 @thisismysecrethappyplace @paintballkid711 @linkpk88 @vvishous @kendall-michele @gh0stgurl

[valsnonsense]

BNHA x Soul Eater Pt. 1 - A Fateful Encounter

Hey I did a thing.  Please excuse the crappy coloring.  I may make this a series or something.  Dialogue under the cut!!!

I think in this universe where meisters, weapons, and people with quirks exsist, people with quirks are called ‘Quirkies”

Lol im funny

Soul sighed.

This always happened when he and Maka took leave.  Especially when they took leave to a place they currently had a mission at.

Soul kicked up an empty soda can lying abandoned on the floor as he walked the streets of the amusement park.

He and Maka decided that with their trip to Tokyo, they could spend some time seeing the sights.  While they were originally here for a three-day mission, they got done early and decided to take some r&r.

Soul wanted to try the park’s super crazy rollercoasters, while his partner wanted to just go through some of the simpler rides, like those haunted houses or teacups or some shit like that.

So, for the afternoon, they decided to split up and enjoy the rides they wanted to and meet up later for dinner.

Soul looked up from his phone, currently texting his buddy Black☆Star about his quest for a rollercoaster.

And it wasn’t hard to find one.

When he looked up, a large, twisting railway greeted him, making him hum in surprise.

“...That was easy…”

He smiled, sending a ‘found one’ text to Black☆Star before stuffing his phone in his pocket and beginning to trot forward.

Weaving his way through the crowd, he looked at all the entrances to try and find the one to the rollercoaster he saw.  

When he saw a long line right in front of it, he picked up his pace to a slight jog, wanted to worm his way in line now and maybe have enough time later to do more things.

He placed himself in line, sighing in relief and checking his watch.

11:23.

He had time.  He’d get through the line, ride the rollercoaster, probably tweet about it then move on.  Easy peasy.

  Not easy peasy.

It was 12:20 before he got even close to the front of the line.  

Soul was biting his lip in frustration, tapping his foot impatiently as the next lucky group crossed the rope and boarded the ride.  

He had gotten a few texts from Maka during his hour-long wait, asking how many rides he had gotten on.  He wanted to just lie and say three, but he actually saw Maka pass by, and decided against it.  The only thing he said was that he wasted time playing those rigged carnival games, winning nothing, and was now in line for a rollercoaster.

He sighed, watching the people board, strap themselves in, and the rollercoaster mozied off, climbing up the ramp.  

But, he was alright.  Soul only had three people in front of him, and that thing could hold twelve people.  He’d be getting on next time around.

It was maybe five minutes before it came back around again, the people on the ride chittering excitedly about how extreme it was.

Soul’s heart began to pound in excitement and nervousness, bouncing a little on his feet in anticipation.  

When the guard unhooked the rope, Soul had to claw his way forward while a bunch people behind him tried to fight their way to the front.  

When he got past the barrier, he had to stop and dust himself off quickly, looking behind him to make sure he was past the barrier.  

He smiled, fixing his jacket and looking up towards the rollercoaster.

Most of the seats had been filled up, and he felt a slight twang of panic go off.  

But he sighed when he saw one left.

Up in the front, next to a boy with fluffy green hair, who looked about his age.

And seemed to have a green face to match.

When Soul sat down, the restraint was lowered, and he couldn’t help but peak off to his right.

The boy was trembling something fierce, gripping the brace so tightly it was like he’d fall out now.  He had a freckly face and matching green eyes, those eyes watered with some tears.  

Soul pursed his lips in concern.  If he was this scared why he was on the ride?

“...Hey, you okay?”

The boy jumped, not only because of his words but also because the rollercoaster lurched and began to move forward slowly.

“U-Um… y-yeah… I guess,” the boy whimpered, wiping his eyes furiously as they began to climb.

Soul rose a brow, leaning forward slightly to see him better.

“Are you sure, you look a little pale.  Why’d you come on the ride by yourself?” he asked, watching the boy sniffle.

“I-I was supposed to be on with my friends.  B-But the line was so chaotic, we got separated.  So n-now I’m he-here by my s-self,” he replied, staring at the top of the incline fearfully.

This ride had three loops and at least five sudden drops.  Soul could see he wasn’t ready to face this thing by himself.

Soul looked up, seeing they only had a few moments before they dropped.  

He lifted his hand, observing it for a second before offering it to the boy.

“...Wanna hold my hand?”

It was almost funny to him how quickly the boy seized his hand, squeezing it with one hell of a monster grip.  Soul winced, biting his lip to suppress a yell of pain, but he squeezed back, knowing his rollercoaster buddy needed a hand.

He looked up, their cart reaching the top so that he could see the drop and the rest of the ride.

After that, the coaster dropped.

   Soul should not have ridden that.

In a surprising twist, it was Soul who was barfing into the trash can while the boy rubbed his back, holding his bangs up so that he wouldn’t get them dirty.

“Are you sure you’re cut out for roller coasters?  You were practically emerald in color by the time the ride was over,” the boy asked, Soul coughing up the last of his lunch.

Soul heaved a few times, before coughing and spitting out all of the residue in his mouth.  He grimaced.

“God… I’ve never felt motion sickness like that in my entire-HRK!”

Soul coughed, and heaved up some bile, his throat burning.  The boy continued to rub his back, even going to massage the back of his neck to try and lessen the pain.

After Soul was coughing up nothing but bile, the boy reached into his bag and pulled out a water bottle and wipe.  

Soul stood up slowly, taking a few deep breaths while trying to regain control of his stomach.  The boy held out the water.

“Rinse your mouth before you drink it, and here’s a wipe.  You’ve got some on your chin,” he explained, watching Soul take the cloth first and wipe his chin before taking the bottle of water and taking a few sips.

The boy smiled, rubbing Soul’s back a few times.

“You think you’re gonna be okay?” The boy asked, Soul gargling some water a few times before nodding his head.

“Y-Yeah, I think so.  Damn… that didn’t feel too good,” he huffed, rubbing his chest.

The boy chuckled, giving him a sympathetic smile.  

“Sorry that you had to endure the ride with me, I hope you’re feeling a bit better,” he apologized, rubbing his arm sadly.

Soul rose a brow, giving the boy a confused glance.

“Why are you apologizing?  I was the one who got on the ride.  I knew I had a little bit of a motion sickness problem, but I didn’t listen to my brain,” he laughed, tapping his head for emphasis.

The boy laughed, smiling warmly at Soul.

“Heh, I guess you’re right… OH!  Oh my goodness!  I’m so sorry!  You helped me through all that and I haven’t even introduced myself!” The boy cried, placing his hands on his knees and bowing.

“My name is Midoriya!  Midoriya Izuku!  Thank you for what you did for me!”

Soul jumped slightly at the act, but waved his hands.

“N-No need for the bows, it’s alright.  I’m Soul though, Soul Eater.  It’s nice to meet you,” he replied, holding his hand out.

The boy, now Izuku, looked down at his hand curiously, before reaching out to shake it.

“Nice to meet you too!  So… you got any plans after this?  My friends are all still in line and it may an hour before they get to the ride,” Izuku chuckled, rubbing the back of his head.

Soul shook his head, looking down at his watch.

“Nope, not really.  I mean, I’m meeting back up with my meister for dinner around sixish.  You can join us if you-“

“Wait.  You’re meister?  That means… are-ARE YOU A WEAPON?!”

Soul reeled back when Izuku suddenly got in his face, his eyes wide and sparkling with anticipation.  He nodded nervously.

“U-Um… Yes?  You sound excited, about that…”

Izuku’s head bobbed up and down, bouncing on his toes excitedly.

“Yeah!  I’ve never met a demon weapon before, and they’re kinda like us Quirkies but all the same in a way but not because they all have a different weapon and-OH!  What kind of weapon are you?!” He screeched, clapping his hands together.

Soul bit his lip, feeling a bit bashful due to the sudden attention he was getting.

“U-Um, just a scythe.  N-Not anything too special-“

“Can I see?!”

Soul jumped, looking down at the excited Quirkie.

At first, he wasn’t sure, not wanting to transform and make a scene.  But, when Soul looked down and saw those big, sparkling green looking up at him hopefully, he kind of…

Melted.

He held his arm out, shifting his forearm into his blade.

Izuku made a small gasping noise, even squeaking when Soul flashed his blade.

“It’s not anything too amazing.  I’m only really cool when I have my meister with m-“

“It’s beautiful!”

Soul suddenly choked on his words.  He felt his face explode with heat almost up to his ears, staring down at Izuku with wide eyes.

“It’s… what?” He whispered, his head reeling when Izuku grabbed the blade and pulled it down towards him.

“It’s beautiful!  Not dull in any way, and the design fits with your structure.  The blade itself doesn’t weight much and can be easily swung.  It’s the perfect blade for a meister!  I can only imagine what it looks like when you’re wielded!” Izuku began to babble on about how amazing Soul’s weapon was, making Soul get redder and redder by the second.

“And another thing is-oh.  Are you okay?  You look a little red.”

Izuku suddenly stopped when he noticed that Soul’s face could put a firetruck to shame.

The weapon swallowed, smiling nervously.

“Y-Yes, I’m fine.  It’s j-just that… n-no one’s ever said so many nice things about m-me before…” he admitted, shuffling his feet.

Izuku gasped as if offended, staring up angrily.

“Really?  No one!?  Well, that’s… that’s just… dumb!  How can no one see how amazing this is I mean there are people who’d kill for this kind of quirk!  Well, I mean it’s not a quirk for you but this thing just looks powerful, with or without a meister!”

Soul’s blush darkened as he tried to suppress a huge, goofy grin.

Izuku smiles, letting go of Soul’s blade and throwing his arms behind his back.

“You wanna hang out with me until my friends are done?  They’ll probably be a while,” He asked, giving Soul a warm smile.

Soul smiled back, looking down at his watch and nodding.

“S-Sure…”

Izuku smiled, turning around and slipping off happily, taking Soul’s hand to lead him around.

Soul blushed, his ears becoming hot in embarrassment as he wandered off with his new friend.

The two weren’t seen until around eight, where they parted ways for the night and got scolded by their friends for disappearing.

But neither minded, not in the slightest.

[wanna-one-imagine]

Wanna One Kang Daniel Prince! AU (Part 3)

Sorry for the delay, y’all! You can find the first part here, the second part here and the fourth part here. Enjoy! (You + Kang Daniel)

After that day, you had been even more shy than usual around Daniel, now aware of your deeper feelings

You were falling harder and harder for Daniel, but it seemed completely one sided to you; to him it was probably mainly a business deal

But regardless, it was still easy to hang out as friends

Anyway the two of you didn’t exactly know how to try “dating” other than hanging out as usual with Ong and Jaehwan

The four of you frequented a cafe after school, only ordering pastries instead of actual drinks, and played board games or cards together for a couple hours

Afterwards, all of you would head back to your homes, Ong always walking you to your bus stop because Daniel had his drivers and Jaehwan lived in an opposite direction

You and Ong weren’t friends at first, but he was really funny with an open personality, and got closer to you

He’d always joke around about how Daniel hadn’t been friends with a girl since forever, and it was incredible how you randomly popped up

Openly told you that he wanted the two of you to get together because it’d be “satisfying”, which was weird he already thought this considering the situation you and Daniel were in lol

You and Daniel decided not to tell Ong and Jaehwan for the time being about the “arrangement” because you knew they would immediately start teasing the both of you about it (even more than they already did)

Anyway your day was pretty much like this for a couple weeks: going to school, hanging out with friends after school, and then heading back home

You didn’t think it’d be this simple, but when you asked Daniel about it, he just flashed that smile and replied that he’d been telling his parents that “you two were going on dates every day after school”

This is pretty easy if it counts as dating.

But no, of course it couldn’t be that easy: the Queen had asked her servants to check up on how you and Daniel were doing on the dates, and when she found out you two were just hanging out with friends, she was unhappy, to say the least

It all went down one day after school... you, Daniel, Ong and Jaehwan were all getting ready to walk to the cafe, but as soon as you exited the school front doors, there they were: the Queen’s loyal servants YAY

“Miss (Y/L/N), Prince, please come with us, the Queen requests your presence at the palace,” one of the men said, leading you to the car, leaving Ong and Jaehwan protesting “what about me, oppaaa” to the servants, earning some sour looks (wtf)

You and Daniel sat down in the car, and immediately you theorized what the problem was

“Oh my god Daniel they know, they know that we haven’t been actually dating this entire time, they’re going to be so pissed at us, what are we gonna do oh my god omghfj sod-”

Daniel just laughed because that’s what he does and squeezed your cheeks with one hand

“(Y/N), they’re just my parents, what are they gonna do, it’s probably just so we can eat dinner with them today, chill”

You glared at Daniel, and silently freaked out for the rest of the car ride; you just had this feeling that something was up

The both of you arrived at the palace and were immediately sat down at another large dinner table; different from the previous times

You kicked Daniel under the table; something was definitely up, you just knew it

A couple minutes later, the King and Queen showed up, and quietly sat across from you, softly smiling

“What’s up guys,” Daniel casually asked, you side-eyeing him

“Oh, we just wanted to have dinner together!” the Queen chirped, the King nodding along

“I told you, (Y/N),” Daniel said, nudging you, “dumbass”

You let your guard down, but kept getting the vibe that something was wrong

You decided to go ahead and enjoy the food, Daniel also did so, stuffing his face like he hadn’t eaten in... ever

After you all finished dessert, you and Daniel collapsed back in your chairs, groaning at how full you two were

And finally, the Queen let you know why you two were actually here, the both of you completely dead from all the food

“So we’ve heard that you two have been going on some fun dates together, looks like you two are really getting a great taste of what a relationship is like, that’s great for you!”

The two of you just stared at her: where was this going...

“We don’t think this is enough though, we’d like you two to get even closer. Part of this deal is that (Y/N) learns how to get used to life in the palace, and how to act as the Princess!” the Queen exclaimed, pausing for a second before nudging the King

“Oh, yes, so (Y/N), from now on you should eat dinner here, and feel free to sleep here during the night time,”

“Oh, that’s completely fine, I’ll be going now, thank you for the meal,” you said, standing up from your chair, before the Queen interrupted

“Ah, no, (Y/N), what we mean is that you must eat and sleep here, in order for you to more properly adjust and expose yourself to what life as the Princess will be like,”

“But what about my pare-”

“We have already notified your parents of this arrangement, and they have more than accommodating of the plans, please be comfortable,”

You shot a look at Daniel: I told you so...

He shrugged in response: Oh welp lol

When suddenly, the Queen made things even mORE weird

“(Y/N), it would be ideal if you stayed in Daniel’s room, but for now you can sleep in one of the guest spaces near his room.”

Were you freaking out? uHHH yes you were, now you were living at Daniel’s house, at the palace... at the home of the guY YOU LIKED... could this get any more weird for you??

And finally, Daniel started showing reactions to this whole scenario, as he started blushing and scratching his face in embarrassment, making you feel even moRe awkward 

The King cut into your running thoughts, as he happily proposed that you “could tutor Daniel” in the classes you share, earning a “HEY i’M SMART” protest from Daniel

The Queen and King promptly ended the dinner, leaving you and Daniel to trudge up to his room in awkward silence

The both of you tiredly looked at one another, silently agreeing to just head to your own rooms for the night

“Night, (Y/N)”

“Good night”

And that was that.

You lived at the palace now.

You could barely get to sleep that night, wondering if now the relationship between you two would get awkward; how much this would change things because obviously Daniel had gotten somewhat shy that night

The next day, you were woken up by a maid, as you forgot to set your alarm the previous night

“Miss (Y/L/N), please follow us to the washing room, we have prepared your bath,” one of the servants said, guiding you to a washroom

You walked over to the washroom, the maid stopping by the door and telling you to enter, slightly smiling

Was that a giggle in her voice? What the hell...

You walked into the humongous room, with a sitting area and multiple closets before getting to the actual shower area

WeLP the reason for the giggling maid became clear, when you entered the washroom to see shirtless Daniel splashing water over his face, a towel covering his neck and some of his wet hair

(NO MORE BIH WE KEEPIN THIS PG)

"Oh... oh my god... Daniel COVER YOURSELF” you mustered out, before dropping to squat on the floor, covering your eyes (oh you)

“OH MY GOD (Y/N) WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO ME... HOW COULD YOU LET YOUR LUSTFUL EYES TAINT MY BODY...” Daniel screamed at you, covering himself up with his hands

“Daniel, that’s not how this works. My innocent eyes are the ones that are tainted, turd”, you breathed, still covering your face, turning around

“nO YOU SICK PERVERT WOMAN! CAN’T A MAN CLEANSE IN PEACE??!?”

“what the hell man I’m not even going to shower today fuck this”

“GO!! YOU CAN’T WASH AWAY YOUR SOILED INTENTIONS AND DIRTY MIND ANYWAY!!”

You couldn’t help but giggle as you ran out of the bathroom, collapsing onto one of the couches in the washroom’s sitting areas

He manages to be this charming and strange even when he’s half naked... someone give this man an award, you thought as you closed your eyes, relaxing on the seat

You had been prepared for your relationship to be awkward, just like how it kind of was last night, but everything was... completely back to “normal”, even if that was completely abnormal for most people

The craziness... it was comfortable, for the both of you.

A couple minutes later, a dressed Daniel walked out of the bathroom into the sitting area, smiling as he saw you curled up on the couch, your phone right next to your face

He was about to tap you awake like a noRMAL person would, but then couldn’t let this opportunity to go to waste

Daniel barely held in his laughter while taking your phone from right in front of your sleeping face, making sure the phone was not on mute and on the highest ring volume

He let a giggle escape him as he hid in the corner of you, calling your number

Your phone rang right in your face, extremely loud, causing you to spaz awake, jumping like a monkey to attack Daniel who was literally on the floor laughing, clutching his stomach

“ASSHOLE YOU ARE GOING TO REGRET THIS SO BADLY,” you screamed, kicking him before running into the shower room and slamming the door shut

I won’t be having a single normal morning from now on, will I...

YEP (Y/N) that’s exactly what’s going to happen from now on

If your alarm didn’t wake you up, every morning either you pranking Daniel or him pranking you would be sure to do the job

From him pouring his cologne-y smelling shampoo into your bottle to you stealing the toilet paper, your mornings were sure to be hectic (if not violent)

But you found yourself incredibly enjoying it

(and Daniel was too)

Both of you loved how the other didn’t take themselves so seriously, despite acting completely normal when it was necessary for public affairs

The both of you got closer than even before, if that was possible

You, Daniel, Ong and Jaehwan continued hanging out, but there was no way to continue hiding the fact that you and Daniel had this weird arrangement going on, since you went home with him every day

On the first day after that dinner, on the walk to the cafe after school, you and Daniel walked in front of Ong and Jaehwan, bickering about who would be the one to break the news to the guys

“YoU TELL THEM”

“NO YOU DO IT, THIS IS ALL THANKS TO YOUR PARENTS...”

“yeAh but I’m NOT MY PARENTS (Y/N)...”

“Tell us what, that you guys are having an arranged marriage?” Jaehwan asked, behind the both of you

“WHAT?? HOW DID YOU KNOW WHAT THE F-”

“HOLY SHIT I WAS RIGHT??? I WAS JOKING WHY DIDN’T YOU GUYS TELL US WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO”

“heYyyy I thought we were getting married Daniel, you unloyal hoe” Ong joking pouted, cutely punching Daniel

The teasing has already started. Great.

From then on, you two couldn’t catch a break with them, Onghwan always “ooooh”ing and snickering whenever you even taLKEd to each other

“Daniel watch out, (Y/N) is a total gold digger, watch out for yourself bro”

“I will hurt you, Ong Seongwoo”

But the time you three spent together was just as fun as before, except now you went home with Daniel instead of walking to your bus stop with Ong (which he alSO teased you about)

Anyway you and Daniel would do homework together every night, Daniel putting in effort to actually learn from you when you tutored him in math

His grades actually increased, to the delight of his parents

They were also very happy that even that you two basically ruined the washroom every day, you two were getting closer (which was their goal)

Anyway one night while tutoring Daniel, he fell asleep while you were explaining a concept, his head lolling around in the high chair he was sitting in next to his desk

You couldn’t bring yourself to wake him up, bringing a light blanket to cover him up, and began to stare at his adorable yet attractive face

“I didn’t know what I was getting into for the past few months... but it’s really been a lot of fun,” you whispered, softly poking Daniel’s cheek

“I don’t think I would mind marrying you at all, Daniel,” you breathed out, your fingers dropping to his lips as you blushed at the touch

But you didn’t have much time to appreciate the quiet stillness when Daniel’s mouth opened, biting the tips of your fingers

WhAT THE FUCK IS HE AWAKE OH MY GOD HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN LISTENING OSH FMDKLMY GOD

You yanked your fingers out of his mouth, standing up in shock, knocking over the stool you were sitting on

You stared in horror as one side of Daniel’s mouth curled upwards, eyes still closed

Your own mouth dropped open when he asked the dreaded question with the completely obvious answer, his eyes mischievously opening, giving you a look that made your heart beat even faster than it had been already

"(Y/N), do you like me?”

Part 1, Part 2, Part 4

A/N: Wow look at me being all evil with the cliffhanger LOL

Anyway thank you all so much for all the kind words you’ve sent me during this time, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the support and patience 💞

I can see this AU wrapping up in the next part, and I’m so glad you all have been liking it so far!

And thanks for 900 followers!

[szopenhauer]

Last thing that made you go “aww!” probably a dog I saw 

Is a crow’s caw annoying to you? hmm... not usually, no

Do you enjoy jazz music? one song, when there’s another and more I get sick :x  

Do you like the topaz birthstone? no What are your thoughts on gas prices? I don’t drive so no idea  Are you an ass? can be Have you ever caught any fish while fishing before? I never went fishing nor want to Do you attend Mass? I listen to the mass online every Sunday even though it annoys me and I can’t focus much What was your favorite class in school? can’t decide, depends on the grade/school/teacher etc. Are you full of sass? I’m not Grav3yardgirl

Do you like razzamatazz ice cream? dunno what that is How often do you pass gas? in the morning - a lot, later - not at all unless I have a flare  Do you have a favorite mug/cup/glass? I use those that I like less because I am afraid I will break those I love lmfao Name anything you own that is made of brass. I don’t think I own anything like that even tho brass is cool, I hate copper tho Does your grass need to be cut right now? I like it long, atural *wink wink* Would you like to live in a castle? Why or why not? too much space to take - that’s unfair as some ppl are homeless and nautre should be more free, it’s also too much space to clean and... to get lost in lol

Do you own a car? What kind? I don’t as I already mentioned I don’t drive

Did you live far from your parents, or close by? I live with them, still

Is it easy or difficult for you to open a jar? depends

Tell us how you got one of your scars. fallen from a clothes horse on a piece of wood and scratched deeply my left leg, wound was full of splinters

Do you wish upon a star? it doesn’t work, I tried...

Have you ever smoked a cigar before? nope, just a cigarette and didn’t like it

Would you ever have boudoir photography taken of yourself? Why or why not? hmm...

Do you know how to play the guitar? If not, would you like to learn? tried and it’s not for me

Have you ever had caviar before? Did you like it? I wouldn’t try that, gross and expensive for such a small amount of food

How old were you when you had your first kiss? 18 or 19

Miss anyone right now? sure

Are there some songs you cant listen to because they remind you of someone? could say so

Have you ever cheated on a partner? nooo

Ever been cheated on? kind of

Do you have a friend who you think you’ll be best friends with forever? my dad I hope

Does it annoy you when you accidentally delete things? very

What`s a movie / book / TV show / band / whatever you highly recommend? I usually don’t recommend anything to anyone without knowing them and their taste first

Are you anticipating or dreading anything? some things both at the same time even

What`s the most annoying thing in the world? can’t choose only one thing

When did you last use one of those water slides you put on hills? never

What does your bedside lamp look like? I have a green night light, used to have a mushroom one but I can’t find a light bulb to replace 

What did you last take a photograph of? I took several today but the last one was of the wild flowers growing near my fence 

When was the last time you got really frustrated with technology? today, my camera didn’t want to cooperate, not even mentioning my computer and cellphone failing me constantly

What was the last funny thing someone said to you? I don’t remember what was last, I know I said some dry/daddy jokes/puns myself

Who taught you to tie your shoelaces? I don’t remember but I know I do that differently than everybody else in my family 

Do you want to move to somewhere else? If so, where? badly, just my own apartment 

What’s your favourite picture of yourself as a child? hmm... dunno

Do you like your neighbours? some I hate

Does your room need to be cleaned? absolutely

Do you have a good relationship with your family? it’s complicated, depends on the family member, my father is my best friend tho

What is something people are surprised to hear about you? the truth? *shrug*

Do you hate any particular groups of people? yup but won’t list them in here

Do you fall up or down stairs usually? I don’t fall often enough to compare

Do you constantly break things? (By mistake or otherwise) luckily not

What was the last bug you saw? plenty of bugs this day

Are there any smells which make you feel nauseous? basically all of them make me feel nauseous

Do you have anything unusual in your bag? I suppose

What`s your favourite key on a keyboard? don’t think I have one, some I don’t use at all tho

Who`s your favourite character from The Simpsons? Or do you hate that show? Lisa I think

Have you ever had any friends who always tried to steal your things? sorta

If you were abandoned in the wilderness, would you survive? maybe How do you make your money? I use my parents money for now :( sometimes I sell my belongings 

What color are your eyes? hazel?

How tall are you? 156 cm short

Which do you prefer, to eat or sleep? sleep

Do you look more like your mom or your dad? mom, besides eyes

How long does it take you to shower? about half an hour?

Are you flexible? in a weird way

Can you speak any other language than English? polish, a bit of russian and used to know Braille’a

What is the last letter of your middle name? I have no middle name, just confirmation one 

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?: yes

Are you scared of flying? not crashing but smells and noise and puking etc.

What do you sleep in? pajama Who was the last person you kissed? @muziasta​ 

What jewelry do you wear all the time? recently necklace I got from my gf

Is the last person you kissed older than you? younger, almost 2 months hahaha

Do you have a favorite item of clothing? I like most of my clothes

Last movie you saw in theaters? last time I was in cinema I still attend high school, not a fan of that place

What was last thing you drank? water

Are you left handed? am not

What is the last thing you thought about? lots of stuff

Do you want to get married & have children one day? I don’t want any kids!

What is the most recent gift you’ve been given? a mug Did I just roll my eyes out loud Is what you’re wearing comfortable? why not?

Did you leave the house today? twice

Are there bumper stickers on your car? if I had a car...

Are you watching tv right now? What? I didn’t watch TV for months

Do you have a job? not currently

Have you ever shot a gun? in middle school

What do your parents do for a living? my mom is retired and my dad is a guard

Have you ever had a pet that had babies? noooo

What color is the blanket on your bed? blue and yellow with sun and moon

What are your parent’s middle names? they don’t have those

Have you ever broken a bone? just my nose?

Do you wear lasses? nope

What color are they? -

Are you currently reading a book? finished one and didn’t start another yet

When did you last get your blood drawn? not that long time ago

How many contacts are in your phone? about 5

What things do you take with you everywhere? that’s personal

Do you know someone that is/was over 100 years old? nah

Do you own any rings? yeah

Could you list all 50 states? no way

What internet browser do you use? Opera

Do you know someone that’s missing a limb? there’s this guy that sometimes takes a bus with me and he has no leg but that’s all

Are you a bad person? possibly

What was the last swear you said? not sure which was last, I say way too many for my own good :x

Have you ever called the police on someone? not me but my parents, also fire department 

What is the most amount of pets you’ve had at one time? 2

When did you last check your email? last week

Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? few times

How long is your hair? short

Do you lock your doors at night? of course

Does your bedroom have a lock? sadly not

How big is your bed? smol

Do you know someone that was murdered? not personally 

Do you know someone who’s pregnant not now

Do you wear a watch? no

How much jewelry do you own? too much for how often I wear it

Have you ever gotten x-rays? shitload 

Do you wear gloves in the winter? fingerless

Do you consider yourself smart? in a way, I might be

Are your teeth straight? they’re not 

Do you own a bike? push scooter but I plan to buy a bike of some sort this summer

Are you taller than your mom? I am :D

Have you ever been engaged? I have not

What, in your opinion, is the ugliest name? many are to me, especially those I relate to certain enemies

Have you ever come up with your own idea for an app? of a game 

Do you remember to put the caps back on your pens? what for? 

When’s the last time you sat on someone else’s lap? this week

Do you take naps often? once in a few months

Do you like to listen to rap? meh

Do you prefer gift wrap or gift bags? gift bags, gift paper annoys me and it’s worthless

What chore do you wish you could get done just by snapping your fingers? all of them? XD

Have you ever done tap dancing before? pretend

Have you ever felt trapped? always?...

Has a strap on your bag ever broken before? it started to so I changed it

Do you watch episode recaps, or skip ahead? skip

Do you know anyone who owns a Venus flytrap plant? my (now ex) friend wanted to, they’re interesting but you have to clean them and I’m not fond of picking up dead flies, yuk

Do you drink water out of the tap, or does it have to be bottled? bottled or I boil it

[etherealwaifgoddess]

Maybe I Am? - Chpt.2

Characters: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes

Summary: Steve takes a risk and the guys go out on a “date”. Master list HERE

Content Warning: first “date” cuteness, making out 

Word Count: 2.5k

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies! Today is one of those days where I am eternally grateful for having a “draft” option. Because honestly, ya girl is exhausted. So yay for drafts! Enjoy chapter two. I’m honestly too tired to give ya’ll a better note right now. :-\   XOXO - Ash

Chapter Two

Steeeeve [9:32:08PM]: Hey, it’s Steve.

Bucky Barnes [9:32:47PM]: hi steve

Steeeeve [9:33:15PM]: I had a lot of fun meeting up today.

Bucky Barnes [9:33:39PM]: me 2

Steve huffed staring at Bucky’s second generic response. He was usually so much more lively. Steve took a long sigh and started texting what he needed to get off his chest.

Steeeeve [9:35:21PM]: I’m sorry if I came off as confused or misleading. 

Steeeeve [9:35:26PM]: I didn’t mean to do that. But I am kind of confused right now. 

Steeeeve [9:35:35PM]: I spent so much time liking the idea of you, and you in real life was even more amazing than I could have expected. But I’ve never dated a guy before and I never expected to want to. And now I think I do. 

Steeeeve [9:35:49PM]: I’m sorry. This probably isn’t any less confusing. I’m apparently really bad at this lol. I guess what I’m trying to say is, will you go out on a maybe-date with me? I want to try and see how I feel. I don’t want to string you on, but I want to try.

Bucky stared at the flurry of texts coming into his phone. Damn, serial texter much? He read and re-read Steve texts a few times, chewing nervously his bottom lip, trying to find a response. He wasn’t willing to let his heart get trample on again, not after Brock. But he really liked Steve and if there was a chance Steve might like him too, it was too good to pass up. He had a distinct feeling he was going to regret it, but he tapped out the only honest response he could think of.

Bucky Barnes [9:44:13PM]: i like u 2 steve. i get that ur confused. lets try ur maybe-date and see how it goes? if it goes well cool, if not no hard feelings. k?

Steeeeve [9:45:20PM]: Thank you. Really, thank you for being so great about this. Can we get dinner one night this week? 

Bucky Barnes [9:45:55PM]: im free any nite but tues

Steeeeve [9:46:10PM]: I can do Friday night around 7. There’s a really great Mexican place a few blocks over from the gym if you’re willing to schelp all the way over to Park Slope. 

Bucky Barnes [9:46:31PM]: sounds good. see u then

Bucky sighed, putting his phone away into the pocket of his favorite old hoodie. He had a date. A maybe-date, but for some reason that felt good enough for him at the moment.

xxXxx

Steve discovered the best part of being able to text Bucky wasn’t just that their chatting was no longer limited to when they were both near a computer, but that they now had a full range of emojis, memes, and GIFs at their disposal. He could now send Bucky random funny things he found during the day and he felt a little proud when Bucky would send back a string of laughing emojis, knowing he had brightened the other man’s day a little. He had worried with their maybe-date looming things might be a little awkward but if anything they were going even better. By the time Friday came Steve was genuinely looking forward to their maybe-date. He had even gone out on Wednesday before his shift at the gym to pick up a set of clothes that were distinctly not gym wear. He couldn’t remember the last time he bought a button up shirt but he had to admit the blue and white checked shirt looked nice on him. He was trying not to stress over the maybe-date but he felt this gnawing need to know, definitively, if he was truly interested in Bucky, or just the fantasy of WinterBae. 

Steve raced home Friday to shower and change, hoping he’d left himself enough time to do all that and still make it over to Los Aztecas in time. Taking the time to slick back his hair and do a quick shave, Steve was hustling out the door only to realize he’d forgotten the bottle of wine once he got outside. After a fast double back for the wine he was on his way, making it to the tiny authentic Mexican restaurant with three minutes to spare. He had barely stopped walking when he saw Bucky hopping out of an uber. Steve felt a little flutter at the sight of Bucky and he took it as a good sign. 

Bucky looked amazing in his dark skinny jeans and a silky looking black shirt. A minimalist necklace was around his throat, the simple bar resting just below the wings of his collarbones. Steve noticed Bucky had swapped out the cheery beaded bracelets he’d worn on Sunday for a set of sleek silver and leather ones. He looked like he belonged on the cover of a fashion magazine and Steve felt ridiculous in what Sam had teased was his bible salesman outfit. 

“Heya.” Bucky greeted warmly, extending an arm for a half hug.

“Hey,” Steve echoed, hugging back with his free hand. “Ready for the best Mexican food of your life?” 

“Definitely, let’s go.” 

Steve led Bucky inside the little restaurant, its cozy decor making the place feel intimate instead of cramped. Steve had called ahead for reservations so they were whisked off to a table as soon as he gave the concierge his name. Bucky was looking around fascinated, taking in all the colorful decorations. 

“It’s really something, huh?” Steve prompted with a smile.

Bucky nodded in agreement, “Yeah, it’s beautiful. So much art packed into so little space. Thanks for bringing me here, Steve.” 

“It’s one of my favorite places in the area, mostly for the tacos but also for the art. I got my degree in fine art before I switched gears and went back to get certified in exercise science.” 

“That’s quite a switch.” Bucky laughed.

“Art will always be my first love, but it’s not exactly profitable. And once I got healthier I knew I wanted to help other people do the same. I was really sick as a kid and didn’t hit any major growth spurts until I was almost 21. After that, I worked out a lot getting used to my new body and fell in love with the gym.” 

“Wow. I’m glad you were able to get healthier, and it’s sweet you’re trying to give back to others with that.” 

“Do you go to a gym? I won’t be offended that it’s a competitor, I swear.”  

Bucky barked out a laugh, “No. God, no. I am perfectly happy with not having abs or a totally flat stomach as long as waffles exist.” 

Steve couldn’t help his eyes dropping to Bucky’s stomach which honestly couldn’t have had more than the smallest layer of padding across it. “That’s okay too. Waffles are pretty great.” 

The waitress stopped by to uncork their wine and drop off a basket of fresh tortilla chips and salsa verde. 

“What did you bring?” Bucky asked as he took the glass of white wine Steve had poured him.

“Albariño. A waitress here recommended it a few years ago and now it’s my go to. It’s light and crisp, and kinda citrusy? I’m not a wine snob but it’s damn good and goes really well with tacos. I hope you like white wine, I forgot to ask.” 

“I’ve yet to meet a white wine I didn’t like, so you’re safe.” Bucky sipped the wine and his eyes lit up, “Oh yeah, this is good. I’ll be hunting this down next time I go shopping.” 

“You can get it over at the little wine boutique near the farmers market in Sunset Park. They always have this kind.”

“Nice, I’ll have to check it out. My sister will love this the next time she visits.” 

The conversation flowed as the basket of tortilla chips disappeared, only ebbing when their platters arrived and they tucked into their food. Steve had ordered his usual taco platter while Bucky opted for the taquitos platter, an assortment of slow roasted meats wrapped in thin crispy shells. He let out a groan at his first bite that had Steve’s heart stuttering in his chest. The maybe-date had mostly felt like a friend-date up until that point, though Steve had to admit there was a tiny flutter of like there too. But the noise Bucky made and the expression on his face had Steve thinking anything but friends only thoughts. 

Bucky caught Steve staring at him as he licked a dribble of sauce off his bottom lip. He hadn’t gotten a distinct date-date vibe from Steve but the look on the blonde’s face was priceless. Bucky thought he probably had made a similar one the first time he saw Devon Sawa in Wild America when he was 12. He had never stood a chance of being straight after that. Testing the waters a little bit, Bucky smirked at Steve, making it abundantly clear he’d been caught staring. Steve flushed and Bucky’s smile widened. There might be hope after all.

Steve wasn’t sure if it was the wine or too many tacos but by the time dinner was over he felt glued to his seat. He hated knowing the evening was coming to an end and wanted to do something, anything, to prolong it. The waitress dropped off the sales receipt with a pen and Steve tried to steady his hand as he signed his name. He knew he needed to muster up his courage or he would be saying goodbye to Bucky in mere minutes.

“Thanks again for paying.” Bucky said after draining the last of his wine, “This was really nice.” 

“It was.” Steve agreed, seeing his chance, “You know, I have another bottle of this wine back at my place if you wanna come over for a bit. Maybe you could help me find that movie app you were telling me about for the Fire Stick?”

“Sure, I’m happy to help. I won’t say no to more of that wine either.” Bucky stamped down the hopeful cheering in his chest that Steve was inviting him over. The poor guy probably didn’t mean that anything would happen other than wine and tech help but Bucky could always dream. He would be respectful though, he resolved to himself. He’d never dated a guy who was questioning his sexuality before and Bucky didn’t want to push too far too soon. Bucky figured it was best to let Steve set the pace and just hope his heart didn’t get run over in the process. 

Steve’s apartment was only four blocks from the restaurant, a second floor walk up in an old converted brownstone. It was nicer than Bucky’s little hole in the wall apartment and even had a small second bedroom that Steve had set up as a home office. After giving Bucky a quick tour, he led them to the kitchen to pull another bottle of Albariño out of his cabinet. Passing a stemless glass to Bucky, he poured them both a generous amount of wine which they carried out to the living room so Bucky could show Steve the app he’d mentioned during dinner. A few clicks and a quick download later, Steve had access to a ridiculous amount of free movies. 

“This is so great.” Steve praised, clicking through the different options. “Oh I love this one!”

“Hm?” Bucky looked up from his glass to see Steve hovering over 10 Things I Hate About You. “Oh that one is great. I remember wanting to be Patrick Verona when I grew up after seeing that.” 

Steve gave an amused side eyed look at Bucky. “I think you did a decent job.” he teased, throwing on the movie out of sheer impulse.

Bucky laughed, “You’re sweet. But god knows I’ll never be that smooth.” 

“You’re better off than me. I’ve been told I’m hopeless on more than one occasion.” 

“You hold your own, Rogers.” Bucky assured him, reaching over to take Steve’s hand in his, stroking the pad of his thumb over the ridges of Steve’s knuckles. 

Steve blinked slowly, looking from their joined hands up to Bucky’s face. It felt good, that fluttery feeling stirring in his gut at the contact. He gave Bucky a smile and squeezed his hand gently, making sure his consent was clear.

The movie rolled and they sipped their wine as Patrick did his best to woo Kat. Bucky slowly nudged closer to Steve until he was pressed against his side, his head leaning against Steve’s shoulder. He was warm and comfortable and completely unwilling to move by the time Letters to Cleo played into the credits. 

“I can’t believe it’s after eleven already.” Steve yawned. 

Bucky yawned next, set off by Steve’s. “Same. I had a really good night, Steve.” He looked up curiously, wondering if Steve had found any new revelations on their maybe-date. 

“Me too. This was… really nice. Hey, um, I know this was a maybe-date, but maybe um…”

Bucky shifted so he could sit up taller and face Steve while he fumbled for words.

“I, um, I’d really like to kiss you right now.” Steve blurted out, looking equal parts excited and terrified. 

Bucky’s smile was like the sun. “Okay, yeah.” Bucky reached out to cup Steve’s cheek, going agonizingly slow to give Steve a chance to bolt if he needed it. He leaned up a little and Steve craned his neck down, tentatively meeting Bucky’s lips with his own. 

A soft press, a pause, another soft press, and then the kiss deepened, Bucky’s lips parting to slot Steve’s with his. Steve let out a choked off moan, unable to believe what he was doing and how good it felt. He let a hand rake through Bucky’s hair and it only made him want to feel more of the silky locks. The scent of cedar and teak from his cologne filled Steve’s nose and though it was very distinctly male, Steve couldn’t get enough of it. It was so much more than he could have expected but also not nearly enough. He was breathing raggedly when he finally pulled back, repressing a shudder at the well kissed expression on Bucky’s face. His full bottom lip was shining and red, his eyes heavy lidded and his chest heaving just as much as Steve’s. 

“Whoa.” Steve finally breathed out in amazement.

“Yeah, whoa.” Bucky agreed. “So does this help in sorting out if this was a date-date?”

“I think it was definitely a date-date.” 

“I’m glad. And do you think you’d want to try another date sometime?”

“When are you free next?” Steve chuckled, only half kidding. 

“Easy there, pal.” Bucky warned lightly, patting Steve’s ridiculously broad chest. “We’ll find a day again soon.” 

Steve nodded, knowing Bucky was right for wanting to take things slow. He led Bucky over to the door, giving him one last quick kiss goodbye before the brunette headed out into the early summer night. Steve was still floored by his own reactions to Bucky but it felt so right that he couldn’t agonize over it for long. 

[mikazukikannagisjourney]

Spiritual Log November 16 2019

Subtitle: Physical release after meditations, healings, clearings, all that icky and gross stuff plus some tips (yeah this post comes with icky warnings, just a disclaimer)

Hi everyone, how are you all doing? I am still hoping that you're all doing great, even so-so, or maybe even meh and eh are acceptable. It has been a bit gruelling the past few weeks, I personally felt it, so many old crap kept popping up and I just had to do so much clearing and healing, and I had to haul the remaining stuff I left behind at my old place, mostly books that I plan to send to my friend and Soul Sister who owns a learning center (and probably reads this now via Twitter lolz), some of the books I plan to keep, assuming that they weren't yeeted yet lol, and my drawing table. It's hard not to have a decent table, I mean, I do my card readings either on the floor or on the bed. Not that I mind, but I actually need a decent table to do my adulting activities, and I needed a large space to draw, so yeah, partly why I failed the Inktober challenge by not doing anything is because I haven't set a drafting table up. Yeah I'm not a pro because I can't work without my tools, I can admit to that. Just thinking about that makes me tired and sad about my state,living in a mudflat. More gunk and mud keeps me down, and the heaviness just zaps my energies even more, apart from clearing a lot of my subconscious garbage which can get pretty emotionally taxing and exhausting physically.

Even the collective has been feeling super-tired and stuff, a lot have been complaining about feeling deadbeat and not being able to finish what they plan to do, unless it was something that had to be finished. Well, that's Mercury Retrograde (Rx) for you. Don't start shit, just finish what has been started or planned to get done. So don't push yourselves too hard, these are the times we need to pull back and check our progress, set reunions with our past selves, or our old friends, just don't start new stuff, that eats up a lot more energy because it's new, and more or less unknown. For now, just take that chance to rest, we're just getting the usual body and spiritual upgrades. Pains and aches can also occur, so if you can tap those out or remove those trapped energies, then all the better for you. And if you've been at it with your clearings and healings, then your comeback will be even stronger! Yay! Also... We're just a few days before Mercury goes direct, and then the magical days of 23-24 when Jupiter and Venus goes conjunct so we can manifest our BEST LIVES EVER!!! Also if you're into spellcasting yeah that's the golden date my friends, let's do this!!!

Ok, now for the heart of this post, which is mostly about the physical manifestations of releasing stuff from our bodies. If you've been in this blog long enough, you would probably know by now that my favorite form of release is crying the heck out of me. Yep. Like a child. A baby. I was really good at it when I was a kid, and I never got sick. I felt at peace whenever I finish crying out my emotional crap. The mental issues started when I was forced to grow up and repress all the crying. But lately after having to accept that crybaby part of me as a part of my true self, some of my chronic issues decreased. And I guess acceptance helped a lot. But of course, that's not the only form of physical release when dealing with trapped emotions, trauma, etc. You can search the web for more information on the matter, but I'll just mention stuff here that I experienced first hand, as well as any actions I did to release whatever it was.I mean, any Mercury Rx is a great time to heal these things because the process is faster, but these are great anytime, anywhere because we are all timeless beings living in a time-bound space.

Ok! Releasing emotions or trauma (repressed or not)

1. Crying -When you feel it welling up, just acknowledge that it is a part of you that no longer serves your best interest, and just cry it out. No questions asked, no judgement. Let it flow. Most-likely it has anger, sadness, bitterness, depression,feelings of unworthiness, feeling unsafe, betrayal, all the icky stuff that we just wanna forget, but they won't let us unless we remove the emotional charge.

How to deal: If you find that a memory resurfaces while crying, dwell in it, and MAX OUT YOUR EMOTIONS. Try getting the emotional levels to the highest intensity that you can, as you recall all, if not most of the nitty-gritty details of the event. It sucks, I know. But just max it out. Get as angry or as sad or bitter as you can, summon the demons out, let them roar, release them from their chains. After you've felt like you've released as much as you can, say thank you to those negative energies, they only wanted to keep you safe. Send them back to Source, God, the Central Sun, Mother Earth, whatever Higher Power you believe in, and ask them to be transmuted to their best selves. To calm yourself down, you can hug yourself, or have a thought anchor: You are safe, they can't harm you anymore. Let the love of the universe envelop your entire being. Just stay like this. Ideally this is to be done with a therapist, a healer, counselor, someone who can catch you as you fall. But if you can manage doing these on your own, well, hugs for you. Great job!

2. A bad case of diarrhea with unknown origins -This applies to most people, but more importantly if you're a person whose lower 3 chakras have been clearing lately, or you focused on clearing them. If you know your human design and you're a Generator, Pure or Manifesting, this can also be a clearing of our sacral center, so we can harness even more of our personal power.

How to deal: First of, don't take drugs, unless they're rehydration salts. Or if symptoms such as fever and vomiting appear, plus some blood in your poop or vomiting, see a medical professional. But if it's just loose bowels, then let the bowels move, they're just adjusting to your energetic upgrades. Also, try eating light foods, less oils and fats and simple sugars, drink more water, get some rest. Your body is dealing with physical manifestations of clearing, so just be patient. Symptoms usually clear up in 2 days, 3 at most. Any longer, see a doctor. As a person who gets easily affected by food poisoning, yeah even if I don't take drugs the bowels usually become normal after 2 days. The body is smart, it knows what it's doing.

3. Peeing a lot -Whenever you do sound healings, it is essential to stay hydrated not just to allow the sounds to reverb within your body (because water is a smooth and really good sound conductor compared to air), but also because dehydration can cause uncomfortable symptoms like dizziness and headaches whenever you listen to certain sounds. Plus staying hydrated can help calm you down, regulate body temperature properly, and balance cellular integrity in between healings (because the water helps clear our cellular debris, and dehydration prevents exchanges between cell membranes due to an imbalance in osmotic pressure. Seriously whoever thought science and spirituality can't mix just didn't learn cell biology a bit more lolol). However, this can also cause you to pee more.

How to deal: Unfortunately, peeing more IS the healing part, the more you do it, the more stuff you flush out. This can't be helped. But if your only issue is with rehydration aka water becomes too boring, just flavor your water with natural fruit or veggie juices.I personally mix sliced apples and cucumbers in my water jug, and drink them. Mint is also a great addition, as are sliced grapes. I squeeze lemon directly into warm water and drink it, while I just letthe peels sit in cool water for 30minutes. They get bitter if they stay more than 2 hours though. But honestly I don't mind drinking just water, just gotten used to it I guess. Simplifying life, I guess.

4. Tension within the body - this is definitely something that warrants professional help, because sometimes there are hard-to-reach places that even we can't touch.

How to deal: Honestly I just get a massage or a back rub, but I also shield myself and transmute so the massage therapist won't absorb my gunk. Even if I do an energetic exchange aka pay them.

Well, I hope this post serves you well. Please let me know what you think about it, or if it helped in any way. Thank you for stopping by. And may you find the healing you seek.

Love and hugs from Source above

I remain your friend and Soul Sibling

三日月

Mikazuki

[areswriting]

a x e : xix

My fingers curl against my palms and I narrow my eyes at Elise. “I tried grieving you—it didn’t work.”

She gapes at me, but falls short on words.

“Don’t you see it?” I say. “Or do I need to say it? Will that make it more real to you?”

Elise holds her hand up, slowly shaking her head and barely looking at me. “Abram, stop.”

“No!” I shout. Elise jumps and falls back onto her desk. I step between her legs. “You can’t control people, Elise. Life isn’t that convenient—”

“Oh,” she says and claps her hands together, “Don’t I know—”

“You don’t get to talk right now,” I cut across. “I listened to what you had to say, now you’re going to listen to me. I tried grieving you over Christmas break, your stunts at the bridge and in the car let me know you wouldn’t be around for very long. I thought it would be easier that way—until you actually did die. Guess what? It hurt worse. I tried letting go before it was too late, but it turns out that too late was too long ago to change anything.

“What I’m trying to say is—half of my heart beats for you, because I love you. I love you, Elise—I’m in love with you.”

When the silence that falls between us is too much to bear, I leave the room with white knuckles.

▲ △ ▼ ▽

“Did you all just leave the fucking peewees?” Coach Maddox shouts. He grabs Locke’s stick and breaks it over his knee before throwing it at the boards and marching in front of us. “Does ANYONE know what fucking offense is?” He stops in front of me and reads me down. “Dyer, where the hell have you been? OH, right, you’re the one who’s had their head up their ass all morning. Wake the fuck up!”

I stand statue still as I take Coach’s verbal lashing. It is more than deserved and sincerely appreciated—without it I know I’ll let things between Elise and I continue to cloud my focus. I glance at the stands where she usually sits but I don’t see her there. Instead I see Sophie, who smiles widely and waves. I raise my glove back at her once Coach starts screaming at Lucas, and when he’s finally done with all of us and we’ve been dismissed, I skate over to where she sits.

She stands and meets me at the boards, still smiling.

“Hey, Abe!” she says enthusiastically.

“Hey, Soph,” I say as I pull my helmet off. “What are you doing here?”

Her smile falls and she folds her arms across her chest. “What? Am I not allowed to be here without Elise?”

“No,” I shake my head. “I just assumed you came because of Elise and was surprised to see you here on your own.”

“Unlike everyone else, Elise doesn’t control me,” she says. “I like watching you play, even if I don’t understand what’s going on, though I think I’m learning.”

“How can you grow up in New England and not know about hockey?” I ask, not wanting to discuss myself or Elise.

“Because I didn’t grow up here,” she says. “I’m from Georgia.”

“What? Why didn’t I know that?”

“You never asked,” she says, shrugging. “Plus, it’s more fun for people to make up their own story about you—that way they never know the truth.”

“Isn’t the truth better than rumours, though?” I ask.

She laughs. “Not when the truth is like ours. Some things are better left unsaid and to the imagination.”

I tilt my head and study her. “You know, you’re different when you’re not around—your friends.”

“Oh, sweetie,” Sophie pushes her hair behind her ear. “We’re all different when Elise isn’t around.”

“Do you want to hang out sometime?”

She looks at me apprehensively. “What’s in it for you?”

I shake my head. “Not every move is calculated, Sophie.”

“Hmm,” she taps her chin. “What are you doing after practice?”

“Hanging out with you, I think.”

She smiles. “I’ll wait for you by the locker rooms.”

▲ △ ▼ ▽

The cafeteria is abuzz at dinner and I find myself getting strange looks from other students as I wait in line for my food. Two girls in front of me whisper to each other, looking at me every few seconds. I subtly look down at myself, half wondering if my fly is undone, or if I had some questionable stain on my clothes, though there was nothing I could see that was draw me so much attention. I consider asking them what they were looking at but decide against it once the line starts to move. My stomach screams for the gourmet lasagna but I grab grilled chicken instead, surrounding it with vegetables.

I find an empty table and sit down, hoping I can eat faster than Jason can get here. My hopes go up in flames when I see him enter the cafeteria and I’m only two bites in. His eyes dart around the room and he shifts his body, only stopping when he finds me, trying to make myself look small.

“Oh my God—I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” Jason says.

That’s funny, because I’ve been doing my best to avoid you. I take a generous bite of chicken to keep myself from speaking.

“Is it true? You and Sophie?” he goes on, pulling out a chair to sit in front of me. “Everyone is asking me if it’s true, if you and Sophie are together.”

I nearly choke on the water that I’m drinking. I slap my chest and cough violently as I shake my head—wanting nothing more than to clear that up.

“No,” I say. “We’re not—”

“People saw you two together today, one person told me they saw you two making out in the courtyard,” Jason says excitedly. “If you want to keep it low-key, that’s cool but I’m your brother, you can tell me the truth.”

“I am telling you the truth,” I say. “We’re not together, but we did hang out today, after practice.”

“So you’re talking, then?” he goes on.

“No,” I say again. “We talked but we’re not talking. It’s not like that. Sophie isn’t my type—she’s…interesting to say the least, but I’m not interested.”

Jason sighs and slumps back in his seat. “Come on, man, she’s hot, and she’s here. What is wrong with you?”

“You know, if she like her so much yourself, why don’t you go and date her?” I snap.

Jason sits up and looks at me like I’m crazy. “You don’t have to be a dick, Abram. I was trying to help—and you know how I feel about Elise. Why would you even suggest that?”

I rub my hand down the side of my face and sigh. “I’m sorry—I’m just stressed. Practice was bad today, and we have a big game against Connecticut coming up, and not to mention the scouts.”

“It’s ok,” he says. “I understand. I’m sorry, I just want to see you as happy as I am. I don’t mean to be annoying about it.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” I say, shaking my head. “I was an asshole.”

“True,” he laughs and moves to stand up. “I’m going to grab some food and join you.”

I push my chair back and stand. “I’m actually not really that hungry anymore. I think I’m just going to go back to my room. I’ll see you in the morning.”

▲ △ ▼ ▽

Abram, I miss you.

Lol, I knew you’d be back eventually. What part of leave me alone don’t you understand?

The entire concept, I suppose. Something always brings me back to you.

Delete my number then.

I did. I have it memorized now…

What do you want?

I just want to hear your voice. Can I call you?

I’d rather you not.

But that’s not a no?

It isn’t a yes.

Abram, do you still love me? And don’t send some smartass response. Be honest.

Lol, how about you be honest first. Who are you?

What if I told you we’ve already met?

As soon as I read the message I sit straight up in bed, my heart racing, my hands shaking.

Have we?

Yes. We have.

When?

When you came you first came to Middlebury. We met there.

So you do go here. Who are you?

I don’t anymore. I transferred out.

You’re lying. Who are you?

You’ll believe whatever you want, won’t you?

Who. Are. You.

Tell me you love me.

In the words of Harry James Potter; I must not tell lies.

Not even to yourself?

Abram, stop leaving me on read.

I love you. You can’t hate me for wanting to hear it back.

I know what it’s like to want to hear it back, the thing is, it’s not you I want to hear it from anymore.

That’s harsh. Who took you from me?

The truth is, we never had each other. We were only fooling ourselves.

▲ △ ▼ ▽

A nightmare of a car crash wakes me up before five in the morning and it takes until eight for my hands to stop shaking. I consider skipping psychology but I don’t need another phone call being made to Malachi, so I begrudgingly dress myself and walk to class.

I stop in my tracks when I walk into the classroom and see Elise sitting in her assigned seat. My feet only move forward when someone walks into my back.

“Move it, Dyer,” Locke says, playfully shoving himself into me as he walks around me.

“Sorry,” I sputter out, looking from Elise to Lucas and back again. Though I don’t think he cares for my apologies as much as he cares about talking to Alison.

I sit down in front of Elise and I’m as stiff as a board. We haven’t seen each other or even talked since I declared my love for her days ago and the tension is palpable.  

“It’s good to have you back, Elise,” says Sydney, who sits parallel to me.

I’m not sure the two have ever spoke before that moment, but they certainly weren’t friends. I glance over at her to see that she’s facing Elise and giving her a sympathetic smile.

“Thanks,” Elise says.

“Jason said you had gotten really sick and had to be hospitalized,” says Sydney. “That’s really scary. I’m glad you’re ok…I guess Abram is more than a boy with a pair of skates and a tongue.”

I look over at her and her face turns red.

“Oh my God, did I just say that?” Sydney covers her face with her hands. “I’m sorry—I just heard that Abram is the one who called 911 and got you to the hospital.”

“Aw, Syd,” Nolan reaches a long arm out and takes her hand to kiss it. “You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed.”

I look between the two and I’m not sure what I’m watching, but it looks a lot like a guy that’s in love with a girl who is in love with someone else.

“Shut up, Nolan!” Syd says, pulling her hand away from his mouth. “I just think it’s great that you have such a good friend.”

Neither of us correct her on the story she heard. There was no ambulance, only a cheap Uber and a few rounds of CPR.

“She would have done the same thing for me,” I say, shrugging. I grip a hold of the desk to keep myself from turning around and looking at Elise.

“He’s right,” Elise says. “I would have done the same thing for him.”

“He’s so hot,” Sydney tries to whisper but it isn’t very effective, and from the corner of my eye I see her pointing her thumb at me with one hand and fanning her face with the other.

Nolan loudly clears his throat and turns around in his desk and looks at me. “We can only hope someone calls 911 at our next game. From the way practices have been going, we’re going to need someone to come and save us.”

“Those Connecticunts aren’t going to see what hit them,” Sydney says. “I promise, Nols, you guys are going to do great. I’ve been researching them and their away game stats are low.”

“Rose is out, but we still have Dyer,” Nolan says. “That’s if he doesn’t try to take out one of their players like he did at the last game.”

“Please,” says Sydney, “That guy deserved it after the hit he laid on Jason.”

“Abram was only protecting his brother,” Elise says. “He had it coming to him.”

Nolan leans on his desk to look around me and at Elise, and before I know it I’m turning in my seat, too.

I take in her face, still sunken but full of color that can’t be mimicked by any amount or brand of makeup.

“Hey,” she says, eyes wide.

“Hi,” I say. “It’s good to see you.”

She glances at Nolan and Sydney, who look at each other before slowly turning to face the front of the room.

“Your lip is healing,” she says, and raises her hand, however it recoils before she can touch me.

I brush my thumb across it. Before she mentioned it, I almost forgot it was there. “That’s what I do when I get hurt.”

Sighing, she looks down at her hands.

“You look well,” I say, and she slowly looks back up at me. “I mean it.”