#perhaps i will make a proper primer or something

[scuderlia]

images via @/susie_wolff and @/kimi.antonelli.official on Instagram

text via 'Mercedes’ next F1 star? Andrea Kimi Antonelli prepares for his next step' by Luke Smith (The Athletic)

toto really has adopted this child.

[mystxmomo]

I recently got a curiouscat asking for a primer on my characters, for someone who didn't know anything about them and was curious. Yippee!

Unfortunately, curiouscat has a 3k CHARACTER (Not word, but character!!) limit. I tried to keep this under 3k characters, but ultimately I don't know how to shut up.

Perhaps that's fortunate. Afterall, something like Tumblr gives me the chance to actually sit down and articulate my thoughts, as well as include pictures. I'm not going to fool myself into thinking I can keep this short, but I am going to try and keep it contained. As such, I've formatted each character as such.

What they're based on, be it an idea, a personality, a scenario, ect. What their personality is. And some things about their story.

I actually have... a Tumblr Development blog. The character page is a bit dated, with some character designs already having some changes, and doesn't have the proper descriptions up yet. But it should at least be enough to put a name to a face for most of the characters I'm about to talk about.

Here's a link to the character page directly

Basically, all of these characters are for a game I'm making. It explores the idea of the afterlife as something entirely mundane, and domestic. It's the lazy day where you have the fan blowing because it's a little too hot, or wading in the shallows of the beach. This is a game where a happy ending is assured. The characters are already dead. Though they cannot remember their lives, they have lived them already, and are about to rediscover them. And so the point becomes. Do they deserve it? A lot of the characters have done Bad Things. Some of them aren't good people. They're fun characters, but my god they suck balls. Does that make them any less deserving of happiness? Do they still get to grow?

(: so with that established.

my characters.

Estelle - (It's complicated)

Estelle is purposefully based on the stock standard silent rpg protagonist. She's very stoic, is noted as not saying much in game. People respect her, but she's a reflection of the players actions.

Despite being someone who's really reliable, she's kind of like. Implied to be a little bit of a sarcastic cunt? You know just because someone can't speak doesn't mean they are nice. But shes willing to put up with and do a lot.

Laelia - Forest God

Laelia is based on the idea of a whale fall deity. Like, a goddess who's death will feed an ecosystem. She explores a lot of themes regarding love through apathy? She's a nature goddess. To her, Humans are no different then rabbits, which are no different to dogs, which are no different then crows. Why should the death of a human mean anymore - and therefore, any less, then the death of a crow. Does the act of kindness matter less to things that will never truly understand you? She cannot bring herself to hate humanity, as hating humanity is against her very nature as a nature deity.

Personality is based on like. Stoic, noble knight characters. She was originally based on heathers-esc mean girls, and there are still aspects of her personality and design that shine through that. But it's been muddled down a bit. She's a heathers esc mean girl who got Older. She's melancholic, more then anything else, though she chooses to spend her time around people that are Hard To Deal with.

Her story deals with ideas of heroism and honor in small acts. Despite being a demi-god who's biggest claim to fame should have been in her death, she is explicitly most known for silent kindness. She's someone reliable, even in her apathy. There's no honor in glory, and no glory in violence, and no honor in death.

Also she'll just Do things. I think i said that already, but she's the type of character who's willing to jump off a cliff to discover if there are rocks in the water. Her demi-god powers are kind of lame, because "i can't force animals to grow, so why would I be able to do that to plants?" But plants grow on her and that's a fun perk of her design.

Kimon - (: don't worry about it yet.

Kimon is based on the idea of very peppy macabre artists. He's friendly! He's a little sassy! He's introspective! He's the one with the least amount of blood on his hands, canonically. He does graphic gore and decay art. He's canonically a clone of one of the other characters that was made incorrectly, and so his body is actively beginning to stop from the inside out.

The point of his story is three fold. The first one is the idea of identity, and the meaning of that identity. He's canonically a clone. What does that mean for his sense of self? What makes his identity different to the person he's grown from. Is it his experiences? His art? His relationships? He's someone who knew the moment he woke up that there was a clock on his life. What's the point of living a life you know will but cut short? To create? To enjoy what time you have? Kimon plays with the idea of living when you can doing what you can and enjoying the life you're living, and the romance in the mundane.

The second one is a theme I play with in my current fandom, but its one I like so it's one I'm taking. What makes something art? Does art need to have meaning to be meaningful? He has my favorite event planned for the game, where he man handles all of the characters into creating something because he wants people to create and wants to see people through what they create.

But the third one is exploring what makes a good person. Kimon is a nice person. As previously stated, theres currently no plans for him to have killed anyone. He DID cheat on his husband. He canonically says slurs. His sense of humor is offensive in a way that the narrative is judgemental of (because I, as an author, know there's a fine line between just Making An Offensive Character and making something that advertises hate) Like, to be clear about the source of his inspiration, he's based so heavily on emo-subculture and the people in it.

I like Kimon a lot as a character. He's a very passionate person, and that's really fun for me to write.

Poppy - Human

Poppy is based on turn of the century hollywood stars and the corruption of the era. The point of Poppy's narrative is... Hm. Self-discovery. She grew up with a mother who controlled her image, got married at 15 to get away from her mother, only to fall into the arms of a man more controlling than she was.

Poppy starts the narrative performing everything about herself. She's a very surface level polite person. She comes across as soft spoken, if not bashful. She refuses gifts that are like treats because, despite liking things like chocolate and cake a lot, it's something she's never been allowed to have. For a bulk of her life, shes only ever been allowed to be what other people tell her to be. There's the reason she's An Actress. There's also themes of the cycle of abuse. Poppy is a mother, but her own abuse leads to her neglecting and abusing her own child. Even when she's outside of her abusive relationship, she's starting everything about herself from scratch.

But there's also this theme of growth I like with her. She has a breaking point. She cuts her hair, she lashes out and breaks down. Life goes on. She stops performing her personality. She's actually a very passionate "follow your heart, do what's right" type person, she'll speak her mind when she thinks something is wrong and place herself in danger for someone else. Break the rules to do what's right and burn the bridge trying.

She has a gun. She discovers she likes working with machines. She becomes a better mother, and life goes on.

Ida - Human +

I'm going to be honest with you going into this. I'm still figuring a lot of things about this character... Out? She's not like my other characters in that she's kind of a very passive one, and that's by design of what she's trying to do.

Ida is based on the idea of a corrupt spiritualist. She's someone vulnerable who was prayed on by the authority of her religion. It's important that I note - it's not a cult. It's a statement on how religion by its nature, while it can be very important and impactful for people, just as often even the most main stream religions can become damaging to the vulnerable.

She has a concept of fate that she feels she cannot break. She believes in fate as a finality. She cannot control the outcome of her own life, it is predetermined, and so anything she does she has to do because that's the Will of it. And she hurts for it. There's a comfort in the finality, but is the comfort of that finality worth the pain of not trying to change? She wants to be a good person, but what happens when you have to do bad things to fulfil your idea of what Good is. You're doing something "for the good" but you're hurting others for it.

She's Human + because she starts as a human, but this is a world with demigods and psychopomps and deities. Her religion consumes her body, and she becomes an echo of who she was.

Personality wise she comes across as a quiet academic type, but she's kind of arrogant and pretentious and it's not in a very Fun way. She can be a little patronizing, and incredibly manipulative, but she's also. Disconnected. Quiet. She might change a little bit, we will see when we get there.

Thales - Lich

Thales is a subversion of the mad scientist/necromancer archytype. The first thing you need to know is that necromancy in this world, while not accepted by the people in it, is accepted by the GODS in it. Olette, psychopomp, LOVES this guy. Isn't it interesting! Isn't it fascinating, watching someone try and avoid death, killing to avoid death, only to be taken by it anyway? Necromancy isnt anymore against the natural order than mending a broken bone, or restarting a stopped heart. Because you can only do it for so long before death will take you anyway.

He's a socialite! He's a party boy! He's nobility. He's so scared of death. And it's fun, because what do you do when you've spent your entire life worrying about dying, only to discover that death is a reflection of life? Have you wasted your life in that worry?

I'm trying to save most of the relationships for the bullet points section, but kimon and Thales are interesting to me in the way they foil the idea of life as something worth living. Kimon accepts his death and spends his days creating and enjoying, and even when he fucks up his community and hurts the people he loves he still has people he loves. Thales loves life and wants to keep life, and he's willing to burn the village to keep his life. He works. He works on keeping his failing bodies alive and growing new bodies to occupy, and at some point he doesn't have anything in life other than that work and the duty of that work.

And so it becomes a question of. Like. If your life is only ever that work, and that worry, did you even enjoy the life you had for as long as you got to have it?

His story also plays into themes of what makes a person good and what makes a person bad, both as he himself reflects it and how he's choosing to kill people. Death horrifies him, and so he only gives it to people worth killing. But that contrasts the theme of the game, doesn't it? What if the person you kill, that you've decided is irredeemable, can grow and change. What if you've killed the asshole, but hurt good people by doing so?

Personality wise, he's very. Academic clever boy. He's kinda flirty. He's also miserable.

Floant - Kitsune

Floant is the little fox bitch I'm always drawing. Hes based on the idea of.. kitsunes, but also a asshole pacifist. He's the shopkeeper of the game! He's the only shopkeeper in the game!! He is everywhere, you literally will not escape this guy. He refuses to sell weapons, despite being the only shopkeeper in the game. Also, he doesn't actually understand the concept of importance of money. He'll just give people his wares if he likes them enough. He's kinda been shoe horned into this position, so why should he care? He's also the strongest character in the story, just sheer ability wise. But coming back to being a pacifist, he is useless for it. He is very good at running away.

The point of his story and the themes of it are... Tragic romance and love. He loves with everything he has.

And so Floant as a character plays into the concept of love as something neutral. You're not a better person for your love, suffering for your love is just a tragedy, clinging to ghosts

Personality? Masquerades as a Cheshire cat figure, but he's pretty strategic and level headed, all things considered. He likes being very annoying, like. He takes so much enjoyment out of being a shit for brains person. But he's not annoying because he's stupid, he's annoying because he thinks it's funny to get under people's skin.

Momoko - Kitsune (2 of them!)

Momoko is based on the idea of mothers who never grow to love their children. She's a Rotten Mother. Nevermind the fact that having children ruined her life, she is someone dealing with a lot of grief that she refuses to acknowledge or touch on. So she could not bring herself to love who she brought into the world. I won't say she's never hurt one of her children, because. Lmao. This bitch guilty of period typical infanticide. But she was not physically abusive to the child she chose to raise, nor was verbally or emotionally abusive. She just could never come to love him.

And so, that brings in the question of what actually makes a good mother, and really, what love even is. Momoko is mean. She's brash and loud, easily irritated and kind of snappy as a person. But she takes care of her son and keeps him safe in a world and time that really wants the both of them dead. She spends time with him, actively verbalizes that she holds a great amount of respect for him, and she does see him as his own person with agency. Is that still love, even when she says she hates him?

I'll give you a guess as to who her son is, based on the species alone. First guess doesn't count.

I do not generally like to advertise my characters for their queerness. I personally think.. well, one, it should go without saying. But two, the selling point of the character should be their story and the queerness of it should be an accessory rather than the point of it? It's the type of representation I like to see. I'm personally very, very tired of coming of age queer stories, and so I aim to write stories that happen to have queer characters in it, rather than stories about being queer. Or at the very least, I want to write stories where queerness is weaved into and reflective of the relationships and community of the characters, rather than the plot.

Having said that, I do want to talk about the fact that kitsunes bastard 1 and 2 are very purposefully playing in the realm of gender ambiguity. Like, a lot of characters are, but with these two specifically... Floant is drawn in very effeminate cultural clothing, long hair, ect, and Momoko has a very purposefully androgynous silhouette. Despite being The Mother, she's given a lot of very masculine traits and tendencies. Floant is the Romantic and The Caretaker, but he's the guy. If you're ever thinking "is this intentional?" The answer is probably yeah.

There are a few other trans characters. I refuse to say who.

I swap between they/them and he/him-She/Her pronouns for the two of them, but ultimately the pronoun aspect of it does not matter. Like I mentioned in the first paragraph of this ramble, I want the idea of it weaved into their design, rather than just placed there.

Anyway. Small tangent over. I like them a lot, they're fun characters.

Olette - Psychopomp

Olette is based on horror movie girl archetypes. Shes the nerd, she's the final girl, she's the popular girl, she's the killer and the monster and the victim. She's so much of everything at once. She's loud! She's performartive! The world is a theater and she's playing in it! I mentioned it in another recent curiouscat, but shes the only character who has Every Single Emote as a new indivual full body pose.

She's a lovecraftian protagonist. She saw the horrors and just rolled with it. She doesn't have to understand the old gods to know that they're there. She loves the horrors! She gave herself to them because she had no one else to give herself too.

There's a building joke that every character in this game starts off hating olette, and she loves them all despite that. They think she's annoying. She doesn't know how to stay out of their business, she's the reason they are where they are and why they're going through what they're going through.

Her personality is... She performs being loud and arrogant and confident and mean, but she's kind of pathetic and sad. She's a theater kid. If she succumbed to the mortifying ordeal of being known, it would mean admitting she's so horrifyingly lonely, so she won't! She's also kind of clingy, and scatterbrained. She chooses to dress like that. Yeah. In my idv au for her I had her as a fake psychic, and I think that fits still.

==

Bullet time. Important relationships

Laelia and Floant - Weird co-dependence. They Do Love Eachother, but ...

Laelia and Ida - what do you do when you can only consider yourself a good person if you manage to guide someone to their death? What if you grow attached to the person you're supposed to kill? Yeah.

Floant and Momoko - look back at momokos section.

Thales and Poppy - What do you do when the first person who has ever respected your agency as a person is Kind Of An Asshole? Let's find out.

Kimon and Laelia - they're just buddies. It's important to me that they're buddies.

Floant and Olette - they're so fucking funny to me personally. Floant cannot get under this girls skin and he's so thrown off by that it loops back around into him becoming a straight man to her antics.

Estelle and Olette - Ghost wearing my childhood friends face. No I'm not delusional. Why are you looking at me.

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Okay edit time

The warrior cats. — Today at 2:29 AM

Estelle is also insane but I can't talk on this post about her being a sleeper agent old god with amnesia wearing the face of olettes childhood friend (who olette killed) to keep her happy

That's insane and only makes sense in context

The warrior cats. — Today at 2:31 AM

I think the line I wrote down about their relationship is "Olette loves Estelle like a woman loves her wife Estelle loves Olette like a person loves their dog"

But like a really good dog owner. Who takes care of their dog instead of dragging them by the leash

She keeps her safe but blinded to the world

And it's this theme of Love and how people love and if the context of that love changes the fact it's love places my face in a pillow the lesbian drama in here is insane

[fennecthunderfox]

First Update of the Year I Guess

I tend to appear and disappear without warning, so I figured perhaps I should update people on my progress on things and my plans for them. 

First off- I know I complain about this a lot in comic descriptions- but part of the reason why it's been taking me so long to make any kind of art in general is because of mandatory overtime at work. We have been on mandatory overtime for over 2 years at this point. I have been real low-energy because of that. With that fact out of the way, I'm going to try not to talk about it anymore cause I complain too much about it.

  An upcoming blockade to art progress is a wedding (for a family member) and then I'm going to try to get my wisdom teeth out sometime in February. I'll be taking a leave of absence from work during this time, but considering I'll be recovering from a surgery, I don't know if I can be super productive in Feb. Speaking of comics, let's move on to the plans for the comics.

DEFINITELY NOT DELTARUNE:

Defnodel is back to being my top priority... when I actually have time and energy to work on it. I have some amount of determination to finally finish chapter 3 before the end of this year. Which is also along the lines of what I said last year, but never mind all that. I'm somewhat torn on how to do the updates for it. I liked it better when I could draw and post a page Saturday morning after work. I'll see if I can ease myself back into a weekly update schedule once I feel normal after my surgery again.

  VESSELTALE

The problem with Vesseltale right now is that where it's currently paused is the best place to keep it on pause until I can get back into some form of routine with art again. It sucks cause it's been stuck for so long already, but if I did my sporadic updates with VT as I've been doing with Defnodel it may be more annoying to have large gaps in updates. That said I'm open to feedback. If you think any progress is good progress I can try to work on VT in tandem with Defnodel. Defnodel would still take priority, however.

ANIMATICS

I don't think many people follow me for animatics, but I have a lot of ideas in my head. "The Ram Guy" was a fun one to make and I have ideas for other ways to intertwine Distractible audio with Undertale and Deltarune characters. Why? I listen to Distractible at work and imagining someone from the cast raging about a fridge or telling chaotic childhood stories makes work more fun. (I also listen to GO! and am itching to make something from the cricket primer but I'm stuck on who to cast for the roles.)

It's been so long since I've done a music video animatic, but I have plans to do some excerpts of songs at some point and possibly even a full music video. But that's uh... optimistic for me all things considered. I can't even update a comic consistently, so no one expect big animatics. Except for one that I've been trying to make for the UT anniversary for literally 2 years now. Maybe if I had a proper animation program it wouldn't be so difficult (I use fire alpaca and the default windows movie maker for animatics currently).

IN CONCLUSION

I have too many things I WANT to do and not enough dopamine to motivate me to do it. But I haven't given up on anything yet. As of now, I fully intend to continue the comics, animatics, and art in general.

As always I am eternally grateful for everyone's patience with me. Thank you for listening.

[pomfiores]

“Senpai?”

Ducking into Vil’s room ( after a proper knock and permission granted to enter, of course ), Riddle moved to stand in front of the blond, hesitating a moment. His brows were furrowed as though he hadn’t quite convinced himself he should have come, for he had a difficult time asking for things, when they were for him and not his dorm or for the sake of a rule. He knew, logically, that Vil-senpai was the last person who would ever laugh at him - doubly so since he had come seeking sincere advice. But shaking the mentality that when your worries were about yourself only, it meant you were taking up too much space was - difficult, and it was something he was still learning. It would take a long time yet, to stick in his brain.

It was the mental reminder his conscience brought that he was wasting time just standing there that caused him to move, producing a small, thin tube as his cheeks colored. He forced himself not to stutter as he attempted to explain himself ( no easy feat ), and somehow he managed.

“It’s—liquid eyeshadow. Cater told me he got an extra in his order, and he gave it to me as a gift. I…didn’t want to say I didn’t know how to use it.”

Because that would be shameful, wouldn’t it? Riddle, who was supposed to know everything, being toppled by a container of shiny gel.

“I thought that perhaps I should ask you, though I understand such a matter might seem frivolous, and you must be rather busy here. I could figure it out, I think. Perhaps you could simply offer a…verbal explanation…?”

Vil doesn't turn around from his vanity yet, looking through the mirror to watch Riddle enter behind him and carefully shut the door. If he hadn't known any better, he'd think Riddle was afraid to speak to him. Perhaps his nerves were getting the best of him? Whatever for, Vil wasn't sure. It was apparent that something ailed him — so much so that he needed to ask Vil privately.

Dismissing his suspicions, the Queen turns as Riddle takes a few steps closer and presented the small tube in his possession. "I see... I understand. Learning how to use a new product can be intimidating — especially liquids such as these. May I?" Holding his hand out, he takes the tube and turns to take a piece of blotting paper from his vanity. Unscrewing the lid, he dabs a light swatch of product onto the paper to look at the shade.

"...It is beautiful. I didn't know Cater knew how to use liquid eyeshadow. How generous of him." Using his leg to swiftly sweep the train of his robe to the side, he stands to swap places with Riddle. "Nonsense. You're too hard on yourself, as always. Most don't know how to work with liquid cosmetics. It's nothing to be embarrassed by. Here. Have a seat."

Ushering Riddle to sit in front of his vanity, Vil pulls his lounge seat over a few inches to sit in front of him. Reaching for the blotting paper once more, he holds it up beside the Red Queen's face. "I think he knew this color would suit you best. He was right." Tinted lips curve into a faint, genuine smile as he got to work — taking a thin makeup brush and a blending brush. "Now, there's no specific way to apply liquid eyeshadow, much like most cosmetics. Some use their fingers, and others use generic applicators... It's always a good idea to prime and put a base — with clean hands or brushes, of course. If you only want this to make this color pop, I advise a white base after priming. Usually, people play with these to see what they like best. Say, for example..." Looking at his palettes, he reaches for the neutral shades and starts with the primer, "Close your eyes."

Patting on the primer, he takes a small eyeshadow brush and packs on a white base on the outer end of Riddle's eyes. Then he blends a neutral shimmer on the center and inner corner. "Perhaps with some practice, you could start using this shade instead of what you usually do. As a change of pace." With the smaller brush, he starts carving the shape for the liquid shadow — similar to how Vil wears his eyeshadow — a faded cateye. "Remember, a little bit of this product goes a long way. It blends nicely, too, thankfully. The white on the outer end is making this stand out more."

Sitting straight, Vil takes a moment to admire his work and even takes Riddle's chin to make sure he's covered everything. "Open your eyes. What do you think of this side? Perhaps a little eyeliner would pull it together nicely but you're free to do without, if that's what you choose." While Riddle looks in the vanity, Vil is already reaching for a highlighter and taking Riddle's chin again only to gesture for him to close his eyes once more to add the lightest touches of highlight on the inner corner and even the center of his eyelids.

"It should last long. Of course, you need to let it dry..." Having released Riddle once more, he's taking the tube to look at the back. "Wait about fifteen seconds to a minute to make sure. Top it with a setting spray, you should be fine."

[verifiedaccount]

More movies (and a tv series) on youtube to keep you busy

List 1 / List 2

Here’s a third update of movies that you can watch in full on youtube since you’re stuck inside

Documentaries about movies:

Visions of Light: The Art of Cinematography (1992): Featuring interviews with more than two dozen major cinematographers and a ton of clips, this is a useful and enjoyable primer for anyone interested in learning what a DoP does

Vittorio Storaro: Writing With Light (1992): This is a shorter (40 minute) television doc focusing on one specific cinematographer, Vittorio Storaro, famed for his collaborations with Bertolucci and for shooting Hollywood movies like Apocalypse Now and Reds

The Epic That Never Was (1965): In 1937, Josef Von Sternberg started shooting an adaptation of I, Claudius starring Charles Laughton as Claudius. Dirk Boagarde hosts this lively documentary examining why the film was never completed, featuring the surviving footage from the 1937 shoot. 

Hollywood: A Celebration of the American Silent Film (1980): Kevin Brownlow and David Gill’s 13-episode miniseries about the silent film era is considered the gold standard for documentaries about film history, but the impossibility of negotiating the rights to all the clips used at a reasonable price has kept it off of dvd or blu-ray. Luckily, that didn’t stop someone from putting it on youtube, although episode 12 has in fact been blocked due to a copyright claim.

Buster Keaton: A Hard Act To Follow (1987) Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3: Another Kevin Brownlow and David Gill miniseries, this one, as you’ve probably guessed, covers the life and films of Buster Keaton over three episodes.

More movies:

Powell/Pressburger: Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger, aka the Archers, were one of the greatest writer/director teams in film history (and a favorite of Scorsese, who seemingly made it his life’s mission to ensure that their films were restored and available), and three of their incredibly charming, magical movies are on youtube. Of the available ones, I Know Where I’m Going! is probably the best to start with.

I Know Where I’m Going! (1945): Dave Kehr on the film:  “Michael Powell's 1945 film resists easy classification: it opens as a screwball comedy, grows into a mystical, Flaherty-like study of man against the elements, and concludes as a warm romance. Wendy Hiller, in one of the best roles the movies gave her, is a toughened, materialistic young woman on her way to meet her millionaire fiance in the Hebrides; Roger Livesey is the young man she meets when a storm blows up and prevents her crossing to the islands. Funny and stirring, in quite unpredictable ways, with the usual Powellian flair for drawing the universal out of the screamingly eccentric.”

A Canterbury Tale (1944):  The Criterion jacket copy: “Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger’s beloved classic A Canterbury Tale is a profoundly personal journey to Powell’s bucolic birthplace of Kent, England. Set amid the tumult of the Second World War, yet with a rhythm as delicate as a lullaby, the film follows three modern-day incarnations of Chaucer’s pilgrims—a melancholy “landgirl,” a plainspoken American GI, and a resourceful British sergeant—who are waylaid in the English countryside en route to the mythical town and forced to solve a bizarre village crime. Building to a majestic climax that ranks as one of the filmmaking duo’s finest achievements, the dazzling A Canterbury Tale has acquired a following of devotees passionate enough to qualify as pilgrims themselves.”

Gone To Earth (1950): Made under unhappy circumstances (David O. Selznick producing), this is a gorgeous technicolor romance starring Jennifer Jones as a nature loving young woman forced into a choice between two “civilized” men, with tragic results.

Straub/Huillet: If you’re looking for something easy and relaxing to watch during the quarantine, I’d recommend literally anything else other than the films of Jean-Marie Straub and Danièle Huillet. J. Hoberman on the couple: “Straub-Huillet, as they preferred to be called, are cinema’s conscience — an antidote to all the junk movies you’ve ever seen. Drawing on Kafka, Cézanne, Brecht, Schoenberg and Malraux, to name only some of their best-known sources, Straub-Huillet films are meant to raise ethical questions on subjects as varied as proper camera placement and the appropriate political approach to the subject.“We make our films so that audiences can walk out of them,” Mr. Straub once said, perhaps not altogether in jest.” Of the available ones, Class Relations, their adaptation of Kafka’s unfinished novel Amerika, seems to be agreed upon as the easiest place to start as it’s the closest to a straightforward narrative, although History Lessons has also been recommended as a relatively easy starting place by some people. Not Reconciled, which compresses an epic Heinrich Boll novel following three generations throughout multiple timelines into 52-minutes, is not recommended to start with. MUBI did a retrospective of their works and had essays commissioned for each one to help viewers out so I’ll link those with each film. Hit Closed Captions for subtitles.

Not Reconciled (1965): Here’s a 10-minute video essay by critic Richard Brody that will help you have a slightly easier time with Not Reconciled if you decide to give it a try. Here’s the MUBI essay

Othon (1970): In the 17th century Pierre Corneille wrote Othon, set in ancient Rome. Straub-Huillet’s adaptation is shot in the actual ruins of Roman palaces with modern buildings and cars visible in the background. The MUBI essay

History Lessons (1972): An adaptation of Bertolt Brecht’s The Business Affairs of Julius Caesar. From the MUBI essay: “In the film, an unnamed young man tours Rome and conducts interviews with toga-clad members of ancient Roman society on the subject of “C,” meaning of course Julius Caesar. It plays like Citizen Kane shorn of any of the flashbacks that bulk out that film: here, it is all exposition, reminisces, impressions. Interspersed through these sedentary discussions are a series of randomly protracted car rides through the city, all recorded in unbroken takes from the backseat of the young man’s Fiat 500.From this brief description alone, I’m sure you can see why structuralist-minded academics in the seventies had a field day.“

Fortini/Canti (1976): From the MUBI essay: “In Fortini/Canti, the Italian Communist writer Franco Fortini reads aloud from his Dogs of the Sinai (only recently translated into English for the first time), a memoir of his life as an Italian Jew and an extended reflection on the aftermath of the Third Arab–Israeli War of 1967 and its representation in the Italian media and by the political class. [...]  Like all of Straub-Huillet’s movies, this astonishingly combative film follows an internal rhythm born out of the particulars of landscape, of speech, and of the physiognomies of its actors. It begins with an extended recording of a television newscast about Israel/Palestine (thus distancing the audience from the warped words and images on screen), a quotation from Fortini that connects like a punch in the jaw (“People don’t like having to change their minds. When they have to, they do so in secret. The certainty of having been tricked turns into cynicism. Gain for the cause of conservatism”), and then alternates between short jabs like these and more sustained verbal and visual attacks.”  

Too Early/Too Late (1982): Serge Daney on the film: “No actors, not even characters. If there is an actor in TOO EARLY, TOO LATE, it’s the landscape. This actor has a text to recite: History, of which it is the living witness. The actor performs with a certain amount of talent: the cloud that passes, a breaking loose of birds, a break in the clouds; this is what the landscape’s performance consists of. This kind of performing is meteorological. One hasn’t seen anything like it for quite some time. Since the silent period, to be precise.” The MUBI essay

Class Relations (1984): The aforementioned adaptation of Kafka’s Amerika, often recommended as a place to start with Straub/Huillet. The MUBI essay

Hitchcock: Back to fun stuff, three Hitchcock classics.

The 39 Steps (1935): Dave Kehr: “As an artist, Alfred Hitchcock surpassed this early achievement many times in his career, but for sheer entertainment value it still stands in the forefront of his work.“

Shadow of a Doubt (1943): Kehr again: “Alfred Hitchcock’s first indisputable masterpiece. . . . Hitchcock’s discovery of darkness within the heart of small-town America remains one of his most harrowing films, a peek behind the facade of security that reveals loneliness, despair, and death. Thornton Wilder collaborated on the script; it’s Our Town turned inside out.“

Spellbound (1945): No one would argue it’s Hitchcock’s best and the psychoanalysis is very dated but with Gregory Peck, Ingrid Bergman, and Dali-designed dream sequences there’s still enjoyment to be had.

Ozu: One of Japan’s most beloved and revered filmmakers, he’s primarily known for his post-WWII family dramas, but his career stretched back to the silent era (although most of his silent films are lost). I Was Born But... is a good place to start but it’s not representative of the style he’s known for. Late Spring is where his later style fully emerges, and it’s a good place to start, so you might want to go in chronological order with these (Tokyo Story, widely considered one of the greatest films of all time, is also not a bad place to start).

I Was Born But... (1932): Jonathan Rosenbaum on the film: “One of Yasujiro Ozu's most sublime films, this late Japanese silent describes the tragicomic disillusionment of two middle-class boys who see their father demean himself by groveling in front of his employer; it starts off as a hilarious comedy and gradually becomes darker. Ozu's understanding of his characters and their social milieu is so profound and his visual style—which was much less austere and more obviously expressive during his silent period—so compelling that the film carries one along more dynamically than many of the director's sound classics. Though regarded in Japan mainly as a conservative director, Ozu was a trenchant social critic throughout his career, and the devastating understanding of social context that he shows here is full of radical implications.“

The Only Son (1936): Criterion’s jacket copy:  “Yasujiro Ozu’s first talkie, the uncommonly poignant The Only Son is among the Japanese director’s greatest works. In its simple story about a good-natured mother who gives up everything to ensure her son’s education and future, Ozu touches on universal themes of sacrifice, family, love, and disappointment. Spanning many years, The Only Son is a family portrait in miniature, shot and edited with its maker’s customary exquisite control.”

Late Spring (1949): Ignatiy Vishnevetsky: “Each shot in Late Spring is striking on its own; the mature Ozu belongs to that rare category of filmmakers whose work can be recognized from a single frame. But together—with all their abrupt shifts in visual perspective and time—they become a mosaic, deeply poignant and ultimately mysterious in the way it envisions a relationship between two people trapped by how much they care for one another. There are domestic dramas, and then there’s this.“

Tokyo Story (1953): Dave Kehr: “The film that introduced Yasujiro Ozu, one of Japan's greatest filmmakers, to American audiences (1953). The camera remains stationary throughout this delicate study of conflicting generations in a modern Japanese family, save for one heartbreaking moment when Ozu tracks around a corner to discover the grandparents, alone and forgotten. A masterpiece, minimalist cinema at its finest and most complex.“

Early Spring (1956): Ozu on the film: “I wanted to portray the life of a white-collar man — his happiness over graduating and becoming a member of society. His hopes for the future when he got his job have gradually dissolved and he realizes that, even though he has worked for years, he has accomplished nothing worth talking about. By delineating his life over a period of time, I wanted to portray what you might call the pathos of the white-collar life...I tried to avoid anything that would be dramatic and to accumulate only casual scenes of everyday life in hopes that the audience would feel the sadness of that kind of life” 

Equinox Flower (1958): Vincent Canby: “One of Ozu's least dark comedies, which is not to say that it's carefree, but, rather, that it's gentle and amused in the way that it acknowledges time's passage, the changing of values and the adjustments that must be made between generations.“

Late Autumn (1960): Peter Bradshaw: “Another gem from the Ozu canon, a masterpiece of tendernesss and serio-comic charm, as tonally ambiguous and morally complex as anything he ever made.“

And the tv series:

The Armando Iannucci Shows: You may know Armando Iannucci from his films, In The Loop and The Death of Stalin, or from some of his other television shows like The Thick of It or Veep, or from his involvement in all the Alan Partridge series with Steve Coogan. You probably missed The Armando Iannucci shows, his stream of consciousness sketch comedy that ran for one season back in 2001 (it didn’t help that it debuted in September of 2001), but it’s probably the most purely funny thing he’s ever done. 

[syms-things-5]

Clear The Area - Chapter Fourteen

Previous Chapter HERE

Warnings: Language, NSFW Language

Tags: @jennmurawski13 @kelbabyblue

Note: Apologies, this is a repost from yesterday for reasons I won’t go into now. i hope you enjoy this chapter!

Chapter Fourteen

Sarah jostled with the mail as she entered their building, trying hard not to knock over the newest fresh plant currently adorning the entrance. They usually took it in turns to handle the post and whatever parcels the Supervisor had signed for that day but she was starting to feel a little short-changed as Shanna had consistently more post coming her way these days. Sarah realised she needed to get out more. Carting everything up the stairs was starting to become its own workout. Today’s treasures involved two Nasty Gal packages, a package from Pottery Barn, a box from Amazon, and what appeared to be a free sample of a Louis Vuitton fragrance. Sarah might just keep that last one to herself.

Jocelyn had sent another care package of sorts her way but it only served to remind Sarah that she had not called her folks in over a week. Ever since the accident, Jocelyn had been so consumed with worry that she had taken to sending Sarah articles ripped form magazines and gift cards for relaxation therapies. Despite Sarah’s many protests to the contrary, Jocelyn was sure Sarah was struggling with some form of undiagnosed PTSD. She’d read about it in a magazine. “If affects upwards of half a million American every year, honey.”

After successfully dodging the neighbour’s schnauzer, she eventually reached their floor and was just about to turn her key in the lock when the door swung wide open. Before she had time to react, she was brought face to face with a stressed-out Shanna, hair dripping wet from a shower. Not her favourite Shanna it had to be said. Not even in the Top Ten.

She grabbed Sarah by both shoulders. “I don’t know what I’m going to wear, Sarah! I’ve got less than an hour!”

“And hello to you, too!” Sarah smiled broadly, almost comically so, before Shanna lowered her head in embarrassment and moved out of the way so Sarah could physically get into her own home. She held the packages up. “Maybe there is something in here?”

Shanna shook her head. “No, they’re more summery. More formal.” She’d started fluttering around Sarah in a panic. “Do you still have that leather midi skirt? Do you think I could fit into it?”

“Uhh yeh it’s in the back of my closet somewhere.” she remembered. “Might be a bit warm, though? What are you gonna wear with it?”

“Well it’s a punky kind of bar, think it has live music and stuff so I thought maybe that Rolling Stones t-shirt and the maroon boots? Keep my hair down and casual?”

“So basically all of my clothes?” Sarah retorted. Shanna pressed her hands together in prayer and gave her the best pitiful smile she could manage, one she knew Sarah couldn’t resist. Shanna seemed to genuinely like this guy and if this guy was as charming and as smart as she told her he was, Sarah was sure she would like him, too. Hell, he’d be best friends with Scott and Chris in no time so long as he enjoyed football, Sam Adams, and didn’t put points on Shanna’s licence.

“Give me five minutes and I’ll see what I can pull together. Do you wanna borrow that heart necklace of mine? If you’re wearing your hair down, it’s probably best you avoid wearing earrings unless you want me to cut you out of them again.” Sarah shouted as she walked into her room unaware that Shanna had followed her closely behind.

“Oh god I hadn’t even thought that far. You know what, I might just cancel. This is just too much right now and I’m not even sure if he really likes me as anything more than a friend.” She feigned a dramatic flop onto Sarah’s bed, one arm landing across her forehead. Sarah delved through her closet to locate the desired items. If Shanna was threatening to cancel the date already, it must be serious.

“How many of you are going to this club?” Sarah asked, emerging from the closet doorway.

“Don’t know. Think three or four from my department and another couple from his?” she responded, hopelessness evident in her voice. Shanna never did well with vagueness where guys were concerned; everything had to be black and white with her.

“Come on, you’ve still got time.” Sarah encouraged as she carried some clothes and a couple of pairs of boots towards the bed. “Dry your hair and we’ll figure this out, OK?”

“Have I told you how much I love you lately?” Shanna pouted and Sarah tried to shrug off the pit growing in her stomach from her words. Shanna used every ounce of energy she could muster to get up and drag herself back into the bathroom leaving Sarah shaking her head.

It was only a rare occasion when Shanna took less time getting ready in the bathroom. Sarah had fond memories of shouting through the door back when they were at college and deciding to move in together required a complete 180 degree shift in her expectations. Still, in less than half an hour, here she emerged fully dressed, primer and foundation applied, and hair dried accordingly. It was a miracle of epic proportions and if she hadn’t shoved some false eyelashes into Sarah’s hand, Sarah would have snapped a photograph to send to the family as evidence that their little girl was growing up.

Thanks to her professional, steady hand, Sarah was always the eyelash-fixer among their group. While fixing a couple of lashes to the corners of her eyes, Sarah’s phone buzzed. It buzzed a couple more times in quick succession and she would have managed to ignore it had it not been for Shanna’a roving eye.

“Looks like someone wants you.” she murmured, trying her hardest not to move as Sarah held the glued lash in place with some tweezers.

“It’ll just be Audrey probably.” Sarah responded in no rush to check for herself, keeping a firm hold on what she was doing.

Shanna tried glancing to her side one more time to catch who it was but couldn’t quite make it out. It buzzed again. “I’d hate for you to miss out on a date with Greg on account of helping piece my pathetic love life together. Oooh maybe we could double-date!”

Shanna’s exclaim nearly caused Sarah to lose her grip on the tweezers but a sharp intake of breath convinced Shanna to give up the inquisition. “Sorry. Sorry.” she held her hands up as an apology before feeling Sarah’s hands relax as she moved across to the other eye.

Sarah was pleased to see Shanna eventually leave their apartment. Not because she wanted the peace particularly but just because it was nice to see her get excited over a guy that wasn’t Ben. She looked gorgeous, too. Sarah was quite proud of her work. If it wasn’t to be a proper date, it definitely would be after tonight. Robbie would be an absolute fool to miss out.

It was only when she slumped dow onto the couch and spent the next hour or so flicking through television channels that she remembered her phone had buzzed earlier on. She reluctantly peeled herself off the sofa and retrieved it from where it had originally landed on her bedside table. Honestly, it was like Shanna had taught her nothing.

From just two messages, Chris had attempted some mild flirtation with her before asking her if she knew what in God’s Name Penhaligon’s was.

Sarah 8.19pm: Perfume I think. Pretty old school brand. Why?

Chris 8.23pm: Mom wants it for her birthday. Never heard of it before. Scott thought it might be some kind of scarf??

She googled the name to make sure. Last thing she wanted was to end up ruining Lisa’s birthday celebrations with a present she absolutely did not want. Her birthday was something she took with increasing seriousness as each year passed by and her children and grandchildren grew older in front of her eyes. There was always a party of sorts, a massive cake, perhaps a theme, and a “suggestion list” for possible gifts. Well, they say “suggestion” but rarely did anyone dare deviate from “the list”. Sarah hadn’t yet considered buying a present but if Chris was already looking, she would no doubt need to catch up.

Sarah 8.34pm: Yep, pretty certain it’s a perfume. Pretty pricey. Good shout.

Sarah started scanning through her phone as another couple of messages caught her eye, some she had accidentally missed from earlier in the day. One from Audrey. One from Greg that she was not expecting.

Greg 7.02pm: Great news! 29th is set up. All you need to do is say the word! Don’t know how long I can hold the spot open so let me know as soon as you can. Have a great evening x

It took her a moment to register what he was talking about.

Chris 8.37pm: Cool THX What are you wearing??

Sarah stared down at the phone. She felt light-headed. There was far too much going on for this time of the day. She wiped at her forehead with her sweater sleeve and took a deep breath.

Sarah 8.41pm: You wouldn’t be interested lol

Chris 8.42pm: try me..........

He had a surprising habit these days of cheering her up.

Sarah 8.46pm: Nah I look a mess. Get out while you can.

Her phone started ringing almost as soon as she’d pressed ‘send’, Chris’ name flashing on her screen. She contemplated not answering now that her mood had taken a turn but she knew he would work out something was wrong and immediately dive over.

“Hey,” she answered, trying for a jovial tone but coming up just south of delirious.

“Hey you,” he smiled through the phone, happy to hear her voice. “In all the years I have known you, Bernette, not once would I describe you as looking like a mess.”

She laughed down the line. She made the right decision.

“...you are far too cute to ever be a mess. Do you know that? Like, I can already picture you with your sweats on, your hair tied up, soft skin...” he trailed off with a low sigh that she was sure was filthier than he intended it to be. “Man, that really does something to me.”

“You really know how to charm a girl. Have you figured this Penhaligon’s thing out yet? Was I right?”

“Don’t change the subject.”

She laughed again. “Sorry. Sorry. I’m not great with flirting over the phone. You should know that by now.”

“Then do it with me in person.” he proposed as if it was the easiest solution in the world. As if she wasn’t going to be distracted with thoughts of work and studies enough to not focus on him entirely. And he didn’t deserve to be second best.

It would have been all too easy to allow him to come over. Forget about overthinking things again. There truly was no one better at making her feel good about herself these days. Like, honest, through-the-bone good about herself, whatever that entailed. Goosebumps raised on her skin at the thought.

“I’m pretty whacked to be honest and...”

“What’s going on? Are you feeling alright?” he asked, concern evident in his tone. Whatever he had been pottering about with in the background had stopped all of a sudden.

“Yes! Yeh, I’m fine. Just...I dunno, boring. Plus, it’s Friday night! You should be out with the guys or whatever. Shan said Scott is having issues with Zach again. Is he OK?”

He laughed at her second lame attempt to deflect. He knew something was going on and he knew she knew he wouldn’t give up easily.

“Is Shanna there?” he asked.

“No, she went out with some friends.”

“So why don’t you ask me to come over and I’ll make you feel better than fine?”

She was lucky she was sat down or that her legs were crossed underneath her as she lounged on the couch, her back against the arm rest. His tone was causing her to feel things she shouldn’t be focussing on. What must it feel like to always be confident of your effect on people?

“Do you wanna come over?” she asked, treading lightly, not entirely anxious should he decline.

“I’ll be there in twenty.” He ended the call almost as abruptly as he had dialled it.

She remained where she sat for a moment, Greg’s text message still lighting up her screen. She wasn’t expecting for things to suddenly be so easy for her and it was strange how opening herself up to more possibilities could cause her to feel so immobile.

She would need to move at some point and as a helpless and as confused as she now felt, she knew it would look far too obvious to Chris if she bid to make herself up. She also didn’t really have the energy to do so. Lord, Chris really should have taken the out when he had the chance.

“Have I just walked into a teenage girl’s bedroom?” Chris asked, taking a look around as he entered the apartment not long afterwards. He clearly found the scene amusing although Sarah couldn’t under stand why. It was partly Shanna’s home after all. He should be used to girly mess. “What’s going on?”

“Shan has a date. I was helping her to get ready.” Sarah replied, humourously holding up the hairdryer like a trophy before dumping it back in her bedroom. “Sort of, actually. She doesn’t quite know if it’s a date date or a friend date.”

“I was told those didn’t exist.” Chris smirked, reaching for a bottle of water from her fridge.

“Well, she’s dressed up for one. Looks gorgeous.”

“I think you look gorgeous.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “Chris, you don’t need to make any more effort, OK? You’re already in the apartment.”

“I think it bears repeating is all.”

He swallowed half the bottle of water before fixing her with a semi-quizzical stare. He tried to figure out what was going on as he watched her potter around the kitchen table, swiping something away into a cupboard, phone grasped in her hand. “What’s going on? You sounded weird on the phone and now you look like it as well.”

“Nothing’s wrong.” she answered far too quickly and tried to shrug it off but his body language told her he wasn’t buying it. She wasn’t sure what was bothering her more in this moment; him knowing her too well, or that he knew he knew her too well.

“OK, alright, well, it’s Friday night and I’m happy just hanging out and doing whatever but you can also talk to me as well. I’m not a monster.”

“It was her turn to look back at him, unsure of her next move or indeed his. she wondered if he was very likely regretting his decision to meet her now when twenty minutes in the opposite direction would take him to one of his favourite downtown dive bars. Instead, he rested against the side of the kitchen doorway, arms folded, a softness still present in his facial expressions. He seemed hesitant of what to say and she didn’t like the slight awkward air surrounding them. She didn’t want to venture into work-territory either.

“Do you want me to go, Sarah?”

She looked back up at him after a short spell spent staring down at her feet. “No. I don’t want you to leave. I’m just...there’s something...” she paused to re-evaluate her words. “You know what, it’s find. It’s nothing major. Of course I’m glad you’re here now.”

He pushed himself off from the counter and moved towards her, accepting of the greeting smile now covering her face, the bottle of water still in his grip. “Cool. Shall I follow your lead then, or...?”

“Do you wanna watch a movie or something?” she suggested, more casually than he would have liked. She didn’t know what to say to him now that all of her brain space was taken up with possibilities and wanting to call Audrey with the news. Chris hadn’t factored in watching a film but she seemed like she wanted a little peace and quiet and he had pretty much dived into the apartment as soon as she gave him the green light, eager as he was to see her without threat of Shanna walking in at any point.

“Movie sounds good.” He bobbed his head in agreement, content in their surroundings for now.

*

At some point towards the end of Searching, Chris quietly excused himself to go to the bathroom. Realising something was about to happen and not wanting to have to explain it to him after he returned, Sarah put the film on pause and headed into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. She had held him at an arm’s length for most of the night, the couch seeming longer somehow, but was now feeling a slight chill despite the thick sweater reaching midway down her thighs. He would no doubt have been cosy to snuggle up to but she was still pondering Greg’s message and couldn’t concentrate on much else.

Her demeanour hadn’t gone unnoticed by Chris. A couple of times he caught the glare from her phone screen illuminating her face from below and wondered who had gotten her attention this evening. He stopped himself from making an obvious joke and was disappointed that she hadn’t noticed him glance across at her several times during the movie. He wasn’t much interested in watching it. Telling the truth, he’d seen it via a DVD screener Matt had sent him months earlier but she’d mentioned she was looking forward to watching it and in all honesty, he had figured they would curl up together and he would have still gotten something out of it.

“Chris? Do you want a cup of tea?” she hollered from the kitchen doorway. No response for what seemed to be a long, long minute. She switched the kettle off and began pouring him one anyway. She could always drink two if he didn’t want it.

“Chris?” she shouted again.

She walked into the lounge to place the cups down and clocked the bathroom door ajar and seemingly empty. Maybe he left without telling her. In all fairness, she wouldn’t have been surprised or annoyed. She’d barely given him a moment of attention for the last two hours.

She wandered slowly down the hallway first passing Shanna’s bedroom before reaching her own and finding him stretched out across the bottom of her bed. She giggled and leaned on the side of the doorway. He looked rather comfortable. A little too comfortable. Maybe he wanted some company?

“What are you up to, Evans?”

He tilted his head up to find her standing there. “I was wondering how long it would take for you to notice I was gone.” He leaned up further and rested on one arm to fully take sight of her. His eyes appeared a little dopey, a thing that always seemed to give away his nefarious intentions. From the angle he was now lying in, the size of his bicep looked ridiculous. It could not have been an accidental move and she’d be lying if she said it wasn’t working for her.

“Are you bored? You can absolutely go if you have a better offer, I promise I won’t mind.” she offered by way of an apology but he stayed looking at her, not moving or responding to her offer. Being caught under his glare like this was unnerving to say the least. His hair looked a little messy from where he had been lying down yet he still made zero effort to move at all.

“I’m not bored.” He finally spoke, sincerity lacing his voice. “Are you? You seem distracted tonight.”

She didn’t know how to respond except to say he was right and to apologise again. She hadn’t figured out what to say to Greg yet so explaining her thought process to Chris wasn’t going to get her very far. It was times like this, when he was looking at her like that, that she wished she had the confidence to try and shut him up the old-fashioned way.

“Come here...” It was barely a whisper and she would have doubted he had spoken at all if it wasn’t for the hand he was now holding out towards her. He didn’t blink once.

She couldn’t refuse him and moved slowly to stand in the middle of his now-parted legs hanging off the end of the bed as he sat up. She watched as he closed his eyes when he felt her fingers smooth through his hair. There was something so calming about her touch, the deliberate graze of her nails sending little shocks down his spine. He wasn’t normally fussed by a woman playing with his hair even if occasionally he liked it when they pulled on it but something about her slow, tender touch was unlike anything he had felt before.

He moved his hands to the side of her thighs before pulling her legs down to either side of him. “I love looking at you from here.” he whispered, wrapping his arms around her waist making sure she couldn’t get away from him.

She moved in to kiss him, softly at first before she felt his tongue glide along her bottom lip, a wordless request for her to open up. He paused for a second, taking her in while she caught her breath before kissing her deeper than before. She pulled his t-shirt up from the hem and he reached up over his back to grab it and whip it off in record time. Not one of his proudest moments, it caught on his watch as he tried and failed to fling it to the side of them and he made a mental note to try that move again when he felt her chuckle against the side of his neck. He didn’t much mind being a dork in front of her. She knew he wasn’t as cool as he made himself out to be.

His hands found their way into her hair as he caressed the strands out of her face. He loved how silky it felt between his fingers and how faintly it smelled of coconut, her signature smell by now. Her hands gripped his wrists before slowly moving up his biceps and grasping at his shoulders while he pulled her down onto him to allow her to feel how hard he was becoming from her touch. He wanted to know she was only thinking about him. She felt him push up into her core and arousing her even more. His breaths were getting shorter while his hands moved down her sides in an attempt to hook into her leggings and drag them down and off her body. She moved a hand away from his shoulders to help him with his mission but a tapping sound soon broke her from her reverie.

“Wait.” she was still holding on to his arms to steady herself until things went quiet and his hands froze on her waist. Their breathing levelled out quickly and Chris threw her a confused look. “Do you hear something?”

“What?” He gasped. “No, nothing.” He grabbed the back of her head and pulled her back down to kiss him hard. His hands firmly gripped her ass until she was putting pressure back where he wanted it. She quickly forgot what she was thinking about while he moved her slowly along his growing length. He moved one hand up her side, dragging her sweater up with it so his fingers could finally feel her skin underneath. Her hands were pushing down on his chest a bit harder and in a moment that took her by total surprised he quickly flipped them over so she was lying underneath him, completely encased by his strong forearms.

Kissing her was so easy he couldn’t believe he hadn’t done it sooner. Her lips were soft, some of the softest her had ever touched. He figured she kissed like she wanted to be kissed, and he wanted to kiss her back like no boy had ever kissed her before. It was soft and hot and breathy and turning him on immensely. Neither was trying to win a battle but rather seeking and enjoying their closeness, the sharing of this one single sensation, outside world be damned.

The prospect of being uninterrupted was giving him all kinds of ideas. Her breathing was hot against his skin and he knew she was in the zone with him. They’d never particularly been slow and up until this point, he hadn’t much minded but he knew there was some part of her she was holding back and honestly, it was thrilling to him that he was determined to figure her out.

Pinning her underneath, one hand reached down and grazed the inside of her thigh. A little more pressure just over her clit caused her breath to hitch with a sudden squeak ever so slightly until they smiled back into their kiss, tongues massaging together. Honestly, he could carry on doing this for hours if he knew for sure there would definitely be another time they had this opportunity.

She opened her eyes to find him resting so close above her and evidently relishing the way she was lightly tickling the back of his neck with her fingers. Another languid kiss followed before he caught the side of her neck between his teeth and pushed himself against her core, her wetness increasingly apparent to him. She was growing accustomed to his need to tease her like this that she almost missed the scraping sound that had returned, only this time it was louder and sounded like it was coming from just down her hallway. She would have loved nothing more than to continue focussing on the hot breath now ghosting across her neck and shoulders but, panicking, she grudgingly pushed him off her.

“Fuck, what is that?”

Helpless and slightly dazed, all he could do was watch her get up from the bed to stand by the door. With an ear close to the gap, she listened out for another sound. Quieter than before, she swore she heard what sounded like shuffling followed by something being dropped on the ground.

Spying him about to protest, she shook her head. “Nope. Nope, that’s definitely something.” She proceeded to tiptoe out of her room and down the hall towards the kitchen, her bare feet treading ever so lightly and managing to dodge the one creaky floorboard. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting to find but felt a brief surge of confidence knowing the vision of Captain America might alarm whoever was attempting to break in to her home and presumably try to murder them both. He was 6 foot and built like a tank, he could absolutely save them both if push came to shove.

Of course, no one was there that she could immediately see. Maybe something had fallen off the wall instead, or perhaps had been knocked over by a strong breeze coming in via the open window in the lounge? Maybe she was hearing things after all or maybe it was a burglar but they got startled and ran away when they heard footsteps inside. Maybe it was just their neighbour moving around next door but it sounded a little too close for that. She resorted to the only thing she could think of in that moment and picked up a spatula just in case.

Chris was reluctantly putting his t-shirt back on when he followed quietly behind her, shaking his leg to relieve some of the tension in his boxers. Something banged again but this time she was sure it was coming from outside of her front door. He could now hear it as well but wasn’t entirely sure what she was hoping to accomplish with a plastic spatula in her hand.

She held her finger up to her lips to stop him from making any noise and peered through the peephole. She couldn’t see anything. Gingerly, she decided to open the door and jumped backwards when there, on the ground hunched up and leaning against the door frame, was a rathe intoxicated Shanna. Her bag had been emptied in a hurry like she’d been trying to locate her keys, and her coat was falling off her shoulders. She was half-asleep.

Chris snorted from somewhere close behind Sarah unable to contain himself, instantly familiar with the view in front of him. Sarah exhaled with some kind of relief that they were safe from a mass-murderer.

“I don’t believe it...” she spoken quietly.

“I do!” Chris could barely stop the laughter coming out now.

She and Chris moved to help her into the apartment, each grabbing her under one arm. Chris bared the majority of her weight while Sarah carried her bag and as a many contents as she could find. They managed to manoeuvre her into her bedroom where she promptly fell forward, head first, onto her bed,

“Fuckin’ waster,” he laughed heartily before Sarah punched his arm to stop him  from waking her. the room fell silent for a moment before the unmistakeable sound of Shan snoring took over. Chris closed the door behind them before following Sarah to the kitchen where she collected the remaining items that had fallen out of her bag. Picking up her phone, she checked for scratches.

“Well at least she didn’t lose it this time,” she held up the mobile to him but noticed he couldn’t stop grinning. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing.” he shook his head. “I just wish I’d taken a picture of her. Scott would have a heart attack. Always told her she couldn’t handle her drink!”

“i don’t know how you’d explain getting hold of a photo of her.”

“Oh yeh, good point.” he chuckled in reponse. They regarded each other for a moment, Chris clearly hopeful they could pick up from where they left off.

“I think you should go,” Sarah thought apologetically.

He paused before answering, expecting her to have been joking. “Why? She’s passed out on her bed. She’ll be asleep for hours. Do you have any idea how many times I have seen her like this?”

“Have you any idea how many times I have seen her like this? She’ll wake up in the middle of the night and get into bed with me and it’d be a lot easier to handle if I didn’t have to explain to her why her bother was also there.”

“Sarah, we could throw a rave and she wouldn’t wake up.”

He was making no effort to move, instead fixing her with a stare waiting for her to recognise how ridiculous she sounded. His hands pinched at his hips and he looked a foot taller than before

“Seriously, Chris, you’re just going to have to leave.”

He took a couple of steps towards her, bare feet padding along the hard, cold floor. “I haven’t see you all week.” He moaned, hands reaching out for her hoping the memory of where they had been would be enough to convince her he should stay.

“That’s not true. You saw me the other day.” It was a weak response. Even she knew that.

“That’s not what I mean and you know it.”

She offered back nothing. She had no response. He was disappointed and equally as frustrated with his lack of a decent comeback. He should definitely stay. He should be rocking her world right this moment and whispering filthy things into her ear but instead, all he could do was stand there and shake his head in defeat. When he made eye contact with her again, she looked somehow smaller in some way and he found it hard to continue being frustrated with her. He understood what she was doing as much as he didn’t want to.

Resigned, he shuffled towards her and embraced her in a hug. She felt him semi-hard against her tummy, briefly doubting her choices. It stirred something exciting inside her to think she could make him feel that way and mentally chastised Shanna for cock-blocking her. She felt bad for kicking him out like this.

“I promise I’ll make it up to you.” she whispered.

He loosely pulled away from their hug and looked down at her. He playfully raised an eyebrow and looked down at her lips, still pink and swollen, before chastely planting a kiss on them.

“I am absolutely going to hold you to that.”

*

Shan finally made an appearance the following morning looking like death warmed up. She’d somehow managed to remove her clothes but had a pyjama top on backwards and her hair was sticking out in all directions. She had Sarah’s expert eyeliner and a false lash smudged down one cheek.

Sarah was eating breakfast and checking the news on her phone when she saw the creature from the black lagoon emerge into her kitchen. Stifling a laugh at the sorry sight standing before her, she felt a pang of sympathy seeing every step cause her pain. Shan just pouted at her before taking a seat at the kitchen table, resting her forehead in her hands while Sarah fixed her a glass of juice and some aspirin. She took it gratefully before groaning.

“Remind me never to do shots again.” she stressed. Sarah knew it wouldn’t last, not with that Boston blood coursing through her veins. “Was Chris here last night?”

Sarah froze, a sudden ring clouding her ears. “Erm, no, he wasn’t.” She turned to put her bowl in the sink and tried to hide any blushes. She didn’t know who felt more like shit in this exact moment.

“Oh I could have sworn I heard him is all.” Shan said, more to herself than to anyone else. “God, it’s good he wasn’t. He’d have a ball game seeing me in that state. How awful was I?”

“Not very,” Sarah lied again.

“How did I even get home?” she asked, trying to piece together the flashes of memories that kept racing through her mind.

“Um, I think your friends dropped you off in a taxi and you somehow managed to get up the stairs but then I guess you couldn’t find your keys...?” Shan managed a puzzled look. “You were slumped against the front door.” She refilled her glass with juice. “You’ve been in bed for, like, twelve hours.”

“Shit, we must have started early.”

“Well it happens to the best of us.” Sarah sat next to her and pushed a loose piece of hair out of her sweaty, red face. “Your hair looks OK! I don’t think there is anything stuck in it this time.”

Shanna laughed for the first time before her head panged in revenge.

“So? Did anything happen with Robbie?” Sarah asked, a cheeky grin crossing her face. By the look on Shanna’s face, the answer was a resounding “no” but it could very well have been the alcohol-induced hurricane currently running though her head.

“Well, it was a great night regardless. You’d love the bar. I think we ran into that guy, the porter from your hospital? Pat something? Did you know he plated in a band?”

“Um, no, not at all. Wow.” Sarah was trying to picture Patrick with an array of different instruments to see which suited him before remembering the awkward time he attempted to drum Phil Collins’ ‘In The Air Tonight’ with two scalpels. “Actually, he does seem the type. I’ll have to let Audrey know. She’ll love this.”

“He sounded pretty decent. It’s not just punk music or heavy rock. I think we should all go one night. Maybe as part of Mom’s birthday week.” Shanna perked up a little, proud of the idea that had materialised in her head against all odds. “It’s amazing what people can do when they put some effort in. Makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Where you might be now if you just took a chance.”

Following a night of heavy drinking, Sarah wasn’t expecting such an existential conversation at this point in the day. But it was a good point regardless. She grabbed her phone from the table and typed out a message to Greg.

“Yes. I’m in.”

*

[abstracttheworld]

Birthday Kisses

[>:3c A gift fic for @my-hero-fantasies for Kiri’s birthday. Lemme know if you spot any errors! 3k, fluff, a dash of angst, and suggestive if you squint.

ao3 link

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"Babe, when are we supposed to be there again?"

"Not until six, [Name], we've got plenty of time, you're fine," Eijiro said with a chuckle from your bed.

You hummed a little poutily at him as you waved your hands at your closed eyes, willing your lash primer to dry faster. He'd been watching from your bed for the last dozen minutes or so while you laid out your makeup and got to work- but not before you fussed over which pieces to use. It was cute how you worried over your look to meet his family, he'd made that clear in his grins when you attempted to ask which colors would look better, and what was too much- it was only a dinner meeting. It wasn't quite a formal event, but you'd still dressed nicely, and encouraged him to do the same, not that he minded too much. You weren't aiming for a Sunday-best, just a bit nicer than something you and he'd wear to just hang out in.

So here he lounged, on your bed, watching you do your thing with a smile a bit more smug than he should have, considering how this meeting had been set up.

It was about a week ago on a quiet Saturday morning, your places having been switched as he busied himself doing his hair before his morning training while you lazed on the bed, sleepy and quite frankly pouting that he'd woken you up only to be working on training instead of spending the morning wrapped around you like a breathing weighted blanket. It'd been some time since Kamino, but even so, his drive to press his nose to the grindstone (sometimes almost literally) had gone way, way up, and had stayed that way. You were still proud of his determination, of course you were, but you didn't much love seeing him tired so often, and less so missing out on your favorite quiet moments with him.

His hands were slicked up with gel when his phone buzzed noisily from the nightstand, "Babe, can you see what that is?" And with a groggy hum you reluctantly uncoiled from around his pillow to reach over and pluck his phone up, mumbling the password to it to yourself as you opened it, your boyfriend giving a distracted confirmation that you'd had it right.

"It's from your mom, Eiji," you squinted just a bit at the phone light as you read over the message.

After a beat or two of silence, Eijiro looked over his shoulder at you, "So what does it say?"

You sat up, taking the pillow with you and gave him such a glare you could see his adam's apple bob in his throat.

"W-what?"

"Were you going to tell me it's gonna be your birthday soon?"

His shoulders visibly relaxed, even as you pursed your lips in a pout to rival his best friend's, "Oh, well, I mean I guess I was-"

"Yeah? When? On the day-of? When I'd have no time to get you anything?"

He pouted a bit at you himself. It wasn't as though he was purposefully keeping it from you, he just hadn't found a graceful way of bringing it up, "Sorry baby, I didn't want it to sound like I was just pushing for presents or something."

He looked back at the mirror of his own vanity (something you'd advised him to get, instead of trying to balance his needs on the bathroom counter with it's little medicine cabinet sized view) and fussed a bit in retaliation, "You didn't really tell me either, when yours was coming."

You stood up off the bed, abandoning the warmed pillow and blanket to go over to him and press a kiss to his cheek, careful to not brush up on his still freshly done do, "I did so."

The look on his face spoke clearly that he didn't think so, and so you couldn't help but kiss up his cheek to his temple with a smile, he was too cute. "Fine, fair's fair. We both sucked at clearly saying when our birthdays were. Better?"

It's not as though you had to ask, the brush of your lips on his face was enough to draw the pout out of him, he offered an affirming grunt in reply, fingers stilled in his hair to focus on you.

"Mm, but I guess that means I gotta get ready too," you continued after he gave you a curious look, "I'll need to get you something for your birthday, and I'll need to pick up a nicer outfit from home. Your mom was asking you to come home for dinner for your birthday, and I know you. You'll just say you've got some training or homework to do instead. So I'll go too, because then you have to."

Eijiro opened his mouth to counter the claim, but the smug and knowing look you had on your face shut him up before he could. You were right, you knew him too well. Figuring out people's behavioral patterns like that was one of your best skills.

"Baby," you pressed a noisy smack of your lips to his cheek again, speaking softly against it, "you've been working so hard, one evening of family time won't be a big deal." And with that, you patted his shoulders and stood back from him to let him get back to finishing his hair.

Your retreat was cut short when his hand took your wrist, tugging you back over. With a smile you two shared the first proper kiss of the morning.

You'd been patting down, pulling fuzzies, and adjusting your dress the whole way to his home, even more so as you walked up the steps toward his family's apartment door.

"It's going to be fine, babe, they'll love you," Eijiro took your worrying hand in his to tug you out of your anxiety a little. Sure, your coming, and his, had been your idea, but that didn't mean that meeting your boyfriend's family for the first time wasn't a little nerve-wracking. You wanted to make a good first impression.

With a deep breath, you nodded at his encouragement. Even so, before he could knock, you squeezed his hand and leaned for him. He pressed a smiling kiss to your determined lips. It was comforting and chaste, even if it lingered a bit more than you perhaps should have with the color on your mouth, petering out into little pecks before you had to pull away and try to wipe your mark off him. At least it was a more nude color, you'd tried to go for a more daytime look than your makeup approaches usually swayed.

Finally, he knocked at the door.

After a few voices carrying through the walls, a tall broad-shouldered man greeted you with an awfully familiar smile.

"Eijiro! Little bro, it's been a bit!"

Your love was pulled into a tight hug at the side of what you'd now come to know was his older brother. Watching your boyfriend struggle to keep his hair from getting smushed against his embrace was rather amusing, and cute.

"And this must be the lady of the hour!" You could see now where Eijiro had picked up the boisterous tone he favored so well.

After a quick introduction, you and Eiji were lead inside to come meet his parents. His mothers were sweet and quick to coo over you and him both, patting cheeks and warm hugs even before your name made it out of the brother's mouth. Oh yeah, you could see exactly where Eiji's mannerisms came from. The house was warm and affectionate, and you felt a little silly for being so nervous, even as you kept your hand snuggled warmly in his.

It was sweet to watch how his mothers subtly checked him over, clearly they'd been missing him terribly. You could understand it, if he'd been gone so long, and with the amount of chaos that seemed to swarm around the school, you'd be doing the same in their place.

Dinner was easy, Eijiro picking up most of the conversation that he could do with reasonably. You were glad you chose something to wear with a higher cut, lest food fall into the appealing trap. Though you felt much calmer now, even at the table your fingers were warmly tangled with his, his thumb stroking over your knuckles whenever you had questions to answer. Or when he sought an opportunity to pile on praise of you to his family.

It was no surprise where Eijiro had gotten his appetite either. You were no lightweight but dinner certainly had you feeling warm and heavy.

But, the couch and conversation beckoned, with a side of hot tea.

Eijiro let you take the lead now, seeing as you were settling in well with his mothers patterns, already chitchatting like friends. He was softly gleeful to see your smile comfortable, your eyes bright and engaged. Were you not busy talking, and were he not sure how you'd feel with PDA around his family, he'd have gladly speckled your cheek with kisses. Normally it wasn't a concern, around the dorms or out on the town with strangers, affection was welcome. But somehow his family felt like a different matter, as though it'd be more intimate.

He was too distracted to hear your giddy reply to his mother's offering of the photo album tour. But when you looked at him with such a mischievous grin, he realized perhaps he should have been listening.

His mom carried over the big album, the one distinctly marked with his name, and a small copy of the foot print they'd had taken when he was so new to the world.

You scooted over as his mom came to sit next to her wife, your hips and thighs pressed flush to accommodate as she laid it out over their laps to start in on the sweetest pictures you'd seen in an awful long time.

His cheeks were thoroughly flushed as you and his mothers both cooed over his baby photos, classic pieces like bath time, when hes all messy from eating or when he'd played in the mud puddle at the park; when he was fast asleep and the first picture taken when he was so small they could have held him in just their hands.

You weren't shocked at all at the dark fluff of his hair, you'd caught hint that red wasn't his natural color before when you both had gotten...particularly frisky, and noticed how dark his happy trail was. You'd only asked lightly what made him want to change his style once, and he'd waved it off just that he'd wanted a change of pace.

It was embarrassing, but Eijiro supposed this was standard. And he couldn't lie to himself and say he didn't love how he saw the love in your eyes, or how positively giddy you were. Your hand holding his warmly, squeezing not out of nerves or worry, but because you just had to let out some energy from the bubbly feeling inside you. You'd shake it and flap it around in his lap as you looked on, eating up every story and detail his parent's offered to you.

It wasn't too bad. But history always did catch up eventually.

Your responses didn't change much as the photos of his middle school days came up. Snaps from picture day, the beginnings of the years, of sports festivals and other little events, and some home photos of course.

He wanted to stay settled in the oddly comfortably fluster you'd put him in, watch how your eyes lit up at every wide grin the camera had caught. But memories were hard things to ignore. After another few minutes of stories from his mother, and giggles from you, he shifted, slipping his hand from yours to touch your back as he softly excused himself to the bathroom.

Of course you noticed his shift in demeanor, watching him step out of the room, his gait tense. And so did his mothers.

Privately, Eijiro stood at the sink counter. He did not, in fact, have to piss. No, he just needed a quiet moment to breathe. It'd felt so long ago, but tides came easy, after rearing back for so long. Glancing into the bathroom mirror, he worked at relaxing his face out of the frustrated guilt that had his brows furrowed. This was a happy time. He was seeing his family, it was his birthday, and his love was having a great time.

He just needed to grab that feeling and bury it. Put it back in it's grave.

After a quick flush to maintain his white lie, and washing his hands, he came back out to the living room where you and his mothers had set the album aside and were chatting idly with some tea in hand.

His mother sat up more as he returned, "Eijiro, I know it's getting close to time for you two to leave, but why don't you show [Name] your room before you go?" She added in that she'd found a couple items of his that he might want and had forgotten, or misplaced, when he'd left before.

His smile and tone both were perky as he agreed and waited for you to stand before leading you back toward his old room.

"It's kinda empty now, since I moved all my stuff to the dorms, but you can probably imagine what it'd have been like before!"

When he turned back to look at you, you'd shut the door to just a crack, a soft look on your face, "Eiji?"

"Y-yeah?" His smile faltered just a bit, not sure what exactly you were planning. The door made him a little expectant of something, but your expression didn't suit it. "What is it, babe?"

You came up to him, taking his hands and settling them securely around your waist and he shifted a bit in place, "[N-Name], babe, we're at my parent's house so- so uh-"

Your hands slid up around his face, thumbs tracing his cheekbones softly as you looked him over so carefully, "Baby, are you okay?"

He stumbled a bit, hands tense on you, this was not what he was expecting, "W-what? Yeah, baby, yeah I'm fine! Why?"

With a soft sigh and another long look in his ruby red eyes, you spoke quietly, gently, "Your moms told me. About the middle school thing."

He cleared his throat, fighting off the cold sweat that ran down his back, "O-oh. Well, uh..."

You saved him the trouble of finding words, "Honey, Eiji, I don't think I can understand, why you'd want to throw yourself out like that."

With his brows knit tightly, he turned his face into your palm and let you continue, "Sweetie you were just a kid. Kids don't...aren't supposed to be necessarily prepared for things like that. You know that, right? There's nothing to blame there."

You could feel his frown against your hand before one of his left your side and pulled it away from him, "[Name] I was weak. I... I had an opportunity to do something and I couldn't even make myself take a step! It was pathetic- I was so useless and if Mina hadn't stepped in, I..."

You shushed him, squeezing the hand that held yours as your other pressed against the back of his neck, leaning him in closer to press your brow to his. "Oh, baby, honey, you were never weak. You were always you." He winced at your words, knowing you were trying to be sweet, but painting over his failure felt awful, and he opened his lips to say as much, but you went on. "You looked at your fear, what you missed out on, and you went at it with everything you had. You were /never/ weak. You just hadn't...learned how to be you, yet."

With a small kiss to the corner of his mouth, you nearly whispered to him, "I didn't know you, back then, and honestly I'm a little mad I didn't get to. Because I know very much so, that I would've loved you then just as you were, just as much as I do now."

His eyes burned just a bit at your words, how you played with the hair at the nape of his neck, and as you went on his cheeks felt rather burnt too.

"I'd have loved your pretty eyes, your long lashes," you whispered with a kiss distinctly placed over the scar on his eyelid.

"I'd have loved your soft cheeks," your lips were soft on his skin, pressing to the pliant flesh, savoring the give of it when he'd made so much of himself hard to face the world.

"I'd have loved how you held me, I'd know nothing bad would ever get me with you there," the kiss to his fingertips almost tickled.

"I'd have loved your laugh, the way you say my name, the sweet things you call me, whisper just for me to hear," the kiss to his adam's apple had him swallowing thickly, but by now he didn't quite want you to stop.

"And I'd have loved what this pretty mouth, and everything in it, would do to me," finally, you kissed him well and proper, and this time he didn't let your wandering continue. There was no way your lip-stick was surviving this, but you would be home soon enough anyway.

After another moment or two, with a comfy sigh you parted, lips and faces flushed as you settled for bunny kisses instead, and he couldn't help the goofy grin it gave him. And you couldn't help it spurring another flurry of pecks over him, across his cheek, over his lips, his jaw, down his neck to the little bit of shoulder that was available before it disappeared into his shirt.

He rubbed your sides when your little rampage gave him the sweetest goosebumps, shifting in place as he felt how you did earlier, getting to see pieces of him that you hadn't before. Restless, giddy, and warm.

"Better?"

His eyelids felt just a bit heavy, looking so longingly at you once you'd finally moved back enough to see you, "Yeah...Yeah, much better."

One more, just one more kiss for now, "Happy birthday, Eiji."

You hoped he would love your present for him that waited at home, it'd have to make up for the fact that you had no intention of cleaning off the stains of your love off his face.

[weaselandfriends]

Hymnstoke XIII

Have you heard the story of bladekindEyewear the Blind?

In infinite folly, this man strapped knives to his eyeballs, depriving himself of sight. Nonetheless he was known as the wisest man in Homestuck Tumblr, with a wicked pack of classpect analyses. As Homestuck progressed through its lengthy sixth act, he developed a wide sleight of theories as to how it would end and what it would mean when it ended that way, focused most famously on each character's SBURB class and aspect (classpect for portmanteau).

When Homestuck ended, and then ended a second time, he turned out to be wrong.

In a recent post, he made this comment about his wrongness:

BlastYoBoots  04/26/2019:  part of why all my theories were wrong is that they were arrogant and misguided and just all-around regrettable and I thought I "knew" what Andrew morally wanted out of a story when he wasn't after the same thing at all

I bring this tale to your attention not to drag our Sosostris through the mud. In fact, I'd say he's unduly harsh on himself here. He may indeed have had a decent grasp of Hussie's moral purposes regarding Homestuck—in 2013. It has been a long six years since then, during which Hussie followed in the footsteps of other noted New England authors J.D. Salinger and Thomas Pynchon and vanished off the face of the planet. It would be fair to theorize that what Hussie "wanted" out of Homestuck changed considerably in those years. And the truth is, because Hussie has disappeared so utterly, any illusion of knowing his "moral" goals has completely dissipated. It's not even clear at this point how much of the Epilogues he wrote. What statements can possibly be made about authorial intent outside of baseless conjecture?

Mr. Eyewear had the unfortunate position of writing critical analysis of a work that was not yet finished, a position not often imitated by critics throughout the ages. It's relatively easy to look at a work by a long-dead author and make some grand, sweeping statement that "this is what it means." Because the author is literally dead, Death of the Author becomes much less controversial to apply. Even now, after the dust has settled, a new installment of Homestuck may unexpectedly arrive that obliterates any previous critical insight on what Homestuck "meant." Homestuck is ostensibly over, but the Epilogues left plenty of room for continuation.

Someone who read the previous Hymnstoke installments came to me and said (paraphrased), "Do you really think Hussie knows anything about Gnosticism? It's far more likely he googled it and used a few names here and there to sound smart." Thinking about it, I wouldn't be surprised if this turned out to be his modus operandi for the Pale Fire and Waste Land quotes I wrote so lengthily on in previous Hymnstokes as well. Wouldn't it make so much sense if Hussie googled "Literary quotes about April" and put in the Waste Land quote without ever having read the poem, without understanding its historical or literary context?

Would it matter?

Hussie may or may not be ignorant of literary history, or his own literary moment. In that Stanford interview he flatly denied any knowledge of "post-irony." But the author's ignorance doesn't excuse the work from the world. Homestuck itself is rapidly becoming a historical work, fading from the immediate cultural consciousness. Yet it has left a mark. How many works will be created in the coming years that draw heavy inspiration from Undertale, which itself was heavily inspired by Homestuck? And if we take Homestuck's most explicit inspiration to be Earthbound, what works inspired Earthbound? What works inspired the works that inspired Earthbound?

Whether Hussie knows what DFW stands for or not is inconsequential. Homestuck is not a work in a vacuum, neither the beginning nor the end. Con Air, the Greek Zodiac, Insane Clown Posse—whether the reader knows what those things are doesn't matter within the space of Homestuck, because Homestuck invented new meaning out of them all. Whether Hussie, the author, knew what Gnosticism, post-postmodernism, or Dadaism were—I would argue that is similarly inconsequential. Homestuck repurposed all of those -isms, either knowingly or unknowingly, into something new. It is the act of repurposing that is the most important part, not whatever those things were before.

So bladekindEyewear observed Homestuck through the lenses of knives strapped to his eyes. From that perspective, he conceived of what the facts (the text of Homestuck) "meant." I'll also be looking at Homestuck through a certain lens. Neither lens is the same as Hussie's lens. No lens except Hussie's can be Hussie's lens: that is something the postmodernists realized, that "truth" was fragmentary and differed from person to person. Perhaps even different within each person; the Hussie of 2013 may have a different lens than the Hussie of 2019. Put succinctly: No absolute truth exists.

But Homestuck, I feel, moves beyond the problems proposed by postmodernism. In Homestuck, differing lenses, even completely opposite lenses like "irony" and "sincerity," "science" and "magic," "time" and "space," or "author" and "reader" (as seen in the Epilogues) become blurred, indistinguishable, ultimately reconciled as essentially the same thing. It's that reconciliation that I think is Homestuck's most meaty—or candiey—thematic component.

With that in mind, let's continue.

What is under the rug is much worse than any trap you can imagine.

It is a member of a species that you do not recognize, with a ghastly furred upper lip.

I don't even know who this is. Jeff Foxworthy? I guess I might not be a redneck.

Soon these lugs will learn to show you some respect. You made this town what it is after all. Wasn't nothin' but a bunch of dust and rocks before you got here.

Okay. I was right. I knew it, all along when I was reading the Epilogues I knew something was off. I felt certain, and now it's been confirmed for me.

Homestuck does not use smart apostrophes, while the Epilogues did.

For those not in the know, a smart apostrophe is curved based on the text that comes around it, like so: ’

A regular apostrophe, by comparison, is not curved: '

As you can see in the quoted text, Homestuck proper uses your regular dumb apostrophes. Which is good, because smart apostrophes are the devil. They frequently get slanted the wrong direction and conflict aesthetically with Homestuck's monospaced, geometric Courier font. Yet all throughout the Epilogues, smart apostrophes are used. It drove me insane. I hate those things.

Can't overthink this time stuff.

I guess I should actually talk about the Intermission. Internally, it's pretty straightforward, borrowing liberally from Problem Sleuth. But what exactly is its purpose? Yes, on a purely plot level, elements of the Intermission return in Act 5. Spades Slick remains a character who exists all the way until Collide, although he is one of the unfortunate casualties of Act 6's awful ending and is too dead to get any kind of relevancy redemption in the Epilogues, unlike similarly extraneous Act 6 characters Jane and Jake.

Fundamentally, then, the relevance of the Intermission extends only as far as Cascade, with elements malingering longer but never amounting to anything new. Many things will extend only as far as Cascade, which eventually becomes Homestuck's midpoint. In earlier Hymnstokes, I mentioned a few times that I didn't think I had much to say about Act 5. I said that because, while Act 5 is impressive from a technical standpoint, it's a lot less dense in meaning compared to early Homestuck or Act 6. It functions a lot like a machine with many perfectly-placed parts (or rather, parts that were retroactively made to look perfectly placed, depending on how improvisational you think Hussie wrote) that slot together like a machine, rifle, or clock to create a flawless cascade of storytelling. I'll talk more about this kind of "clockwork storytelling" when I actually get to Act 5, but for now one might consider the entire Intermission to be one of those perfectly-placed pieces, and the Spades Slick storyline culminates in Cascade to slot alongside the other pieces in a satisfying way.

One might also interpret the Intermission as a primer for certain elements that will become important in Homestuck proper, such as the aforementioned "time stuff" that gets its first real exploration here before becoming a convoluted but finely-wrought entanglement in Acts 4 and 5. Toss in vague foreshadowing to Lord English and the Intermission's existence is at least purposeful, regardless of whether one considers it necessary.

But what about structurally? I mentioned in the previous Hymnstoke that the Intermission is similar to Act 5 Act 1 and Act 6 Act 1 in that it dramatically downscales the tension, introduces a slew of new characters, and shakes up the tone of the story. Each of these three parts are nostalgic for "Old Homestuck," the Homestuck that is more like Problem Sleuth, and they feature many text commands and faffery like what you see in Act 1. By juxtaposition, then, each emphasizes how far Homestuck has developed across its run, and the differences only become more striking each successive iteration.

The Intermission is probably the fragmenting point. In Homestuck proper, there are no more kids to introduce. John, Rose, Dave, Jade, for each of them we've cycled through the database-structured INTERESTS and INSTRUMENTS and WEIRD PARENTAL FIGURES. Bit by bit that kind of content will vanish in favor of a new sort of storytelling, and the Intermission is where it becomes obvious that this is happening. Jade's introduction already subverted most of the established tropes, and the Intermission reads like a parody of them, with the Midnight Crew's set of traits being plaintively ridiculous (each keeping a different kind of candy in their backup hat, each having a different kind of smutty material, et cetera). Act 5 Act 1 will also be parodic in its approach to these database traits, but I think in a less effective way, as the differences between the kids and the trolls are less extreme than the differences between the kids and the Midnight Crew. Furthermore, the Intermission really drives the nail into the coffin of Problem Sleuth, severing Homestuck finally from its predecessor. Act 6 Act 1, by comparison, is more of a wistful yearning for Act 1 than any kind of new take—which might itself be meaningful in the grand scheme of things.

Still, it might come in handy down the road. Lord English is supposedly indestructible. He's rumored to be killable only through a number of glitches and exploits in spacetime. The doll may ultimately help you work the system if it comes to that.

This line, along with the way Problem Sleuth ended, was probably the primary driver that led to people expecting a final boss fight with Lord English on par with the one with Mobster Kingpin. Although the Epilogues were a fantastic ending, it's still underwhelming to think about just how poorly-conceived Collide and Act 7 turned out to be. Of course, the Problem Sleuth sort of ending is definitely more of a "clockwork" storytelling style, and Act 6, as has become clear by now, has a much different style.

Dirk, the ultimate inheritor of the clockwork style—he specifically describes storytelling in terms of machines—has as one of his INTERESTS robotics and technology. Lord English, likewise, is surrounded by a clockwork motif. Of course, these characters will eventually become explicitly linked via the method of Lord English's creation. But unlike many other INTERESTS, which turn out to be irrelevant, this machinery fascination ties in to Homestuck's final thematic dichotomy. But more on that when we reach the Epilogues.

29/1000 CLOCKS DESTROYED

I guess we know what side of the dichotomy Spades is on.

This is the same calendar Dirk has in his apartment in Act 6. I remember I once had this theory that the Midnight Crew would be reunited at the end of Homestuck even though the B2 Hegemonic Brute was dead because it would be revealed that Hearts Boxcars was still in Dirk's calendar and would come out riding Dirk's mini Maplehoof.

I don't know why I had this oddly specific theory, and it was probably obvious it wouldn't happen.

And thus ends the intermission, with an eye toward the next bizarre deviation in the storyline (Act 5 Act 1).

It's been awhile since I last read Homestuck. My memory of Act 4 is dodgy, so I might actually stumble upon something new. But as I mentioned earlier, the Intermission is the big, obvious breakpoint between the old, Problem Sleuth style of Homestuck and the new, clockwork style. The database-driven character creation will gradually fall away (minus a parodic revival in Act 5 Act 1) and narrative elements will become more consistently introduced with an eye specifically toward Cascade. For many people, this is when Homestuck starts to "get good," and I think it's because there's something innately satisfying about a finely-crafted machine slotting into place. There is a kind of intrinsic beauty about it, art for art's sake if you will, and that is also what seems to draw Dirk toward it.

But more next time.

[queenofbaws]

KH: Some scars run deeper than others

Fandom: Kingdom Hearts - POST KH III Rating: T - angst, mentions of injuries Characters: Even, Ienzo Author’s note: ((Aw snap, I've been wanting to write a lil’ thing since I saw this FANTASTIC comic, and when I saw it was @ohhicas‘s birthday, I figured I needed to just BUCKLE DOWN AND DO IT!!! So hey, thanks for all the amazing KH/Apprentice art you’re putting into the world (it ALWAYS brightens my day), and I hope you have a super happy bday!!))

“This is what I’ve been warning you about, you know. Precisely this. Of anyone, I would expect you to understand what happens when one overworks oneself. And yes, yes, you don’t even have to open your mouth, I can see it in your eyes—I will admit that it has certainly been a considerable amount of time since we’ve had immune systems to concern ourselves with, but all the same—”

It had always been a trial and a half to try and decipher Zexion’s facial expressions; each one had always been so carefully crafted and calculated, a perfect mask for whosoever bore witness to it. Ienzo, on the other hand, was easier to read than a child’s primer, his feelings laid bare and raw and open, even when he hid behind his hair. And as he lay in bed just then, staring towards nothing in particular, it was obvious that he was miserable.

“Sit up for a moment, let me check you over.” The steadiness of his own voice surprised him. Wasn’t this what he’d been trying so desperately to avoid since recompletion? What they’d both been avoiding?

Even could still remember that first moment, his muscles tight and gut tighter as he’d crossed the threshold. He’d been bowled over by the singular sensation that time had at once frozen solid and turned back, filling him with dizzingly incongruous images. There they were—all of them—standing as they always had, the Guards in their blues and the scientists in their whites, only none of them were the same at all. They were older, their postures reflecting the weight they’d been burdened with. It was as though nothing and everything had changed. These were strangers, but they were his family.

The Guards had eyed him warily, as was their wont. They were tired, though, and so their suspicions were soon forgotten. Too much had happened between them. Familiarity had won out, in the end.

Ansem hadn’t flinched. He had simply welcomed him back into the fold as though mere minutes had passed since last they’d spoken, as though Even had merely gone away to retrieve something from the library and only then returned. It had been Ansem he’d been most worried about, most concerned about approaching, so the relief that had accompanied that acknowledging nod had been indescribable.

At least until he’d noticed Ienzo.

Ienzo, who no longer needed to roll the sleeves of his labcoat. Ienzo, who no longer needed to stand on a stack of books to see over the tables. Ienzo, whose fingers were no longer stained a perpetual sticky blue from ice cream bars he couldn’t finish quickly enough.

Ienzo, who couldn’t control his face with a fraction of Zexion’s prowess.

Yes, he’d been most concerned about Ansem, but he’d realized then that it should have been Ienzo.

But that was then, and this was now, and now found them in the same room together without anyone else to serve as a buffer. There would be no wriggling out of this.

“You very nearly gave Aeleus a heart attack with that stunt, do you realize that? And I’m hardly being hyperbolic—we have no idea what our hearts can and cannot handle yet, and won’t until the proper tests can be carried out. The panic he was in when he brought you here…”

The bed creaked as Ienzo slowly pushed himself up onto his arms, making the shaky transition into an upright position. There was a waxiness to his skin that Even didn’t much like, making the dark shadows under his eyes all the more noticeable. He seemed to radiate the warm discomfort of illness. Or perhaps that was something else, something more akin to the heat of a furious swarm of bees trying to cook an intruder to death. There was no baseline for him to compare it to, no midpoint, no control group. Even had never seen Ienzo angry…not this Ienzo, at least.

These were untested waters.

“If you suspected you were ill, you should’ve spoken up. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, and all that. You should know that. Honestly, I’m not sure what you expected, given the hours you keep. Do you think I’m not aware of that? Hmm? Aeleus insisted to me that you’re always the last asleep, and I know personally that you’re always the first awake. You’re a human, boy. In case you’ve forgotten in all this time, humans require sleep. Food, too. Water. If that’s too difficult for you, think of yourself as a particularly intelligent plant that occasionally needs to be placed in a dark room.”

Even had warned him as much. They all had, really. Though he only had his own experience to go off of, if the others’ stories were true (and he suspected they were), then Ienzo had barely stopped moving since his own recompletion. Always somewhere doing something, one hand typing into that ridiculous gummi device of his, the other flipping through old research notes or pecking access codes into a terminal. Moving—always moving. Talking without stopping to breathe, working without stopping to eat, explaining and researching and mending and typing and writing and rebuilding. It had only been a matter of time.

The child had always been that way. A blur. A small, sickly blur that had worried him to no end.

“Don’t think that just because you were able to do it then means you can do it now. These bodies are significantly more delicate than what we’ve grown accustomed to—” His intention had been to check Ienzo’s pulse. He didn’t quite get that far.

Sick as he appeared to be, Ienzo’s hand had shot up with a suddenness that felt more instinctual than intentional, effectively smacking Even’s fingers away from his throat. The moment was quick, gone in a blink, but hung between them like a thick fog, turning the air heavy and grey. His movement had been too quick. Jerky, even. Significant.

Slowly, Even pulled his own hand back, paying careful attention to the way Ienzo’s curled fingers continued to float just under his ear. As though attempting to block a strike. Or worse. He felt himself fall uncharacteristically silent, the tangle of intestines in his lower stomach knotting themselves into a shape heavy with suspicion. All at once, he thought he almost understood. He hoped he was wrong. “It occurs to me,” he began again, lowering his hand to his side, “That I never thought to ask how your time in Oblivion ended.”

Please…please let him be wrong.

There was no hint of Zexion in Ienzo’s face when he finally turned to look at him, and wasn’t that bizarre? How could that have been? The faces themselves were the same, made of the same parts, the same pieces, the same colors and shapes, contours and angles. His body had been recompleted, yes, but shouldn’t that have been a purely internal affair? How was it that he managed to look less like the Nobody he’d been mere weeks ago, and more like the child he’d been more than a decade ago?

Did people think the same about him? Aeleus? Dilan? Were they all walking around the Garden as their own doppelgangers? The idea was monstrous.

“Poorly.” Ienzo’s voice was an exhausted croak, too nasally to not reflect some sort of infection. He watched him for a moment longer before adding, “I know how yours ended, though.”

His skin throbbed at the accusation, sending a dull ache shooting from the back of his neck to the hollows of his knees. Not for the first time since waking, he was thankful for how long the labcoats were, how high the ascots were. “I suppose you would. Nothing ever did transpire in that place that you weren’t immediately aware of.”

“I’m not sure I would go so far as to say nothing.” The rasp of Ienzo’s voice was bad enough, but then he shifted—only just slightly—and Even got his first glimpse of what he was hiding under his collar. What was that saying about apples falling from trees?

The mark was…a lot.

It was a lot.

The glance he was afforded didn’t last long, but Even saw what needed to be seen. Around Ienzo’s throat, the skin had gone the terrible purple-black of a bruise. It sat below his adam’s apple, an unpleasantly thick band that called to mind a noose’s shadow. Through some divine luck or sick irony (he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to puzzle out which), it was situated just where his ascot could hide it from prying eyes.

Ienzo shifted again, lifting the collar of his shirt to cover it once more.

No stranger to scars, it shouldn’t have caught him as off-guard as it did. It wasn’t the image of the thing that troubled him, he thought; the problem was what the mark meant. The gravity of its placement, its shape…somehow all made worse by how neatly Ienzo was able to hide it away and act as though wasn’t there.

His tongue felt heavy and thick in his mouth, a stupid slug without purpose. He cleared his throat once, twice, finding his voice only then. “Who?”

A soft sound escaped Ienzo at that. Had it been meant as a sigh? A laugh? A derisive little scoff? It was hard to say. The corners of his mouth twitched upwards into something that was decidedly not a smile. “The answer to that question is a bit more complicated than I think you expect it to be.” Ienzo’s eyes narrowed in thought, and he nodded to himself, inwardly convincing himself of something. “I don’t think I owe you any explanation, actually.”

In a past life, his response would’ve been immediate. ‘And what, precisely, does that mean?!’ he might’ve snapped.

But this was the wrong castle. It was the wrong world. He was wearing the wrong color. They were the wrong people.

So he remained silent, unable to look away from Ienzo’s bright, feverish eyes. Something in his expression seemed to suggest he was waiting for the sharp crack of Even’s response. If that was the case, Even would just have to disappoint him. Again.

Ienzo looked away after what felt to be an eternity, fingers still absently fixing the shape of his collar. “No,” he said, voice nearly too weak to be heard, “I think you’re the one who owes an explanation or two.”

How quickly he was transported back to that first moment again, that first time seeing them all together, recompleted humans in the old laboratory they had once called home. The look on Ienzo’s face had been so alien to him then, such an unfamiliar combination of things: shock, confusion, indignation, hurt. It had driven through him with twice the agony of Axel’s chakram, that look.

And here it was again, tempered with a healthy dose of anger, if he wasn’t mistaken.

“You don’t get to sit here and lecture me on unhealthy habits. Not when you’re right there, keeping pace with me. I don’t sleep enough? I don’t take care of myself? Have you looked at yourself lately, Even?” He shook his head, his hair falling back into its usual place. “Don’t…don’t look at me like that and treat me like some tiny thing made of glass. You have…absolutely no right.”

He swallowed down the words that leapt to his throat.

“I know you think you’re this…” Ienzo gestured weakly with one of his hands, fingers twirling in the air as he struggled to find his words through the heat of his fever. “Paragon of logic and rationality, so why do you continue to underestimate my ability?”

“Ienzo, no one is underesti—”

“Do you think I don’t see it, Even? Do you think I can’t see it? You tiptoe around these things, about what happened in Oblivion. Do you honestly want me to believe it’s for my benefit? That it has nothing to do with the way you walk around like you don’t fit inside your own skin anymore?” His tone took on an edge, sharp enough to startle, yet strangely not enough to cut. “I know, Even. I know what happened and who did it. I know why you’re always covering your skin. I see whom you avoid in the hallways, I hear how your voice changes, so no. No, I’m not going to sit here and allow you to act as though this—” his hand moved to the front of his throat, “—is somehow worse or more gruesome than whatever you’re hiding.”

It would’ve been dramatic to say that the strength went from out of his knees; he didn’t crumple, nor did he fall, instead slowly lowering himself from his lean to sit on the very edge of the bed. He’d been on the receiving end of more than a few admonishments from Zexion—this wasn’t that. Still, he was immensely grateful that Ienzo was looking elsewhere. Even didn’t think he’d be able to say anything, if those knowing eyes were focused on him. “Is this truly about scars, Ienzo?”

His profile changed at that, the bridge of his nose scrunching into what might’ve been meant to be a scowl or sneeze. Again, the resemblance to the boy he’d once been was intense, crashing over Even in a bracing wave of déjà vu.

“If you honestly want to discuss scars, then—”

“You had an out! You could’ve stayed with them, you could’ve stayed Vexen! Do you understand that? You could’ve kept your powers! Your research! Your…your…your damned clout! But you didn’t. You didn’t. You gave it all up to come crawling back to us, here in this broken world, in a broken body.” A flush had begun creeping up Ienzo’s chest to his neck, the first sign of angry color blooming in the hollows of his cheeks. “What was the logic there, Even? What was the rationale? Where did all that scientific thinking go? You traded it all for what? For this? For all of this?” He waved his arms haphazardly, bringing attention to the decrepit bedroom with its dust and corner-cobwebs. “What were you thinking?”

He took a deep, steadying breath, casting his own eyes down to his hands. Absently, he tugged at the cuffs of his labcoat’s sleeves, doing what he could to cover the ripples of burnt flesh on his wrists. “I had my reasons.”

That time, Ienzo’s noise was easy enough to distinguish. The laugh tore out of him like a cough, sounding gratingly painful. “Right. You’re positively inscrutable, aren’t you? So many plans, Even. So many quote-unquote reasons driving your motivations—”

“And if you had been in my place?” He raised his eyebrows inquisitively, trying to keep the desperation out of his voice. “Would you have stayed with them, Ienzo? Would you have remained Zexion?”

Ienzo didn’t meet his eyes, instead looking at some unknown spot on the wall, the intensity of his stare such that Even was surprised the wallpaper didn’t begin smoldering on contact. “I could’ve,” he said, his voice the low, unyielding insistence of a petulant child.

“But would you have done it?”

Silence. Cool, calculated silence. Ienzo’s eyes were unreadable, but his mouth had tucked itself into a taut line, turned down at the corners. It was answer enough.

Even let out a quiet breath, shaking his head as he laid a hand on Ienzo’s shoulder, applying pressure enough to get him to lie back down onto the mattress. “No. You wouldn’t have.”

His eyes did flick to him then, glassy and over-bright with fever and heartsickness. “What makes you so certain of that?”

Now that was a question for which he had an answer. He stood from the side of the bed, hardly aware of the dry squeak of the bedframe protesting the shifting weight. In three steps he crossed the room, adjusting the blinds to block the afternoon light. The room grew dim—not dark—feeling immediately cooler. “Because it’s not who I raised you to be.”

It seemed Ienzo had finally run out of words. He stared up to the ceiling, eyes half-lidded with exhaustion. He managed to track Even’s progress through the room in his periphery, using what was left of his energy to reach over and snatch up a sliver of his labcoat with his fingers before he could leave. Only then did he let his eyes close fully, the promise of sleep already tugging at the corners of his consciousness. A sliver of his tongue poked out to wet his chapped lower lip, and when he swallowed, his throat felt to be made of sandpaper. “You left.” A deep breath in. “You were right there with us. And then one morning, we go to check on you and you’re just…gone. You were just gone, Even. What were we supposed to do with that? What was I supposed to do?”

He looked down to the fingers pinching the fabric of his cloak, the new thing in his chest giving a painful lurch as he remembered how small that hand used to be. Even opened his mouth, unsure that he would be able to say much of anything. “I had to make things right.”

“You left us.”

“I did,” he admitted. “But look what you all accomplished in my absen—”

“You left me.”

That one was harder. He knew he didn’t have the words for that, though, knew it was beyond anything he could convey with simple syllables. How to even begin?

Even reached down and gingerly removed Ienzo’s fingers from his coat, sandwiching his hand, instead, between his own as he sat himself on the edge of the bed once more. “I did. But…I will never do that again. You have my word on that.”

[pandoramajora]

[Images courtesy of Fenty Beauty & ColourPop]

Happy Jojo Friday! 

This is a tentative list of some lipsticks I was request to compile that gave me that Jojo-esque vibe. These are mostly lipstick colors I see character wear (also their color of their outfits) and have found real life matches for or just colors I feel fit in nicely with that Jojo aesthetic. I will definitely continue to add if I do find newer lipsticks that feel are worth mentioning. 

Never be afraid to experiment with color. There is never not a good time to wear bold colors. I wear one crazy lip color once a week, usually on Jojo Fridays. The first time you go out wear a green lipstick, yes, you may feel odd because people might stare. I have never gotten a bad comment. If anything, I get compliments and get told they wished they could wear green or blue lipstick. My reply? “What’s stopping you?!” But don’t be embarrassed! Live boldly! Fuck what other people think.

Put on your green lipstick and go out there and make Dio proud!

[long post, so everything is under the cut! also PS: no affiliate links/not sponsored. I just like makeup and Jojo. If you like this sort of content and would like to see more, let me know!]

Advice: Before you jump into this list I do have some advice.  Make sure to prime and line your lips! Not lipstick is completely immune to transfer or fading. So also keep you lipstick color with you to reapply when it starts to fade. 

Priming: You want to protect your lips the same way you protect your face when you apply makeup. Using a lip primer (I use Ozone from Urban Decay and NYX glitter glue) will help the colors last and help it go on smoothly. With certain colors that I know fade at the water line fast, I use both Ozone and NYX’s glitter glue. I go in and use Ozone then apply a tiny amount the glitter glue on my bottom lip, along the water line. After letting that drying I go over it again with Ozone. After that I go in and line my lips before applying the lipstick.    

Lining your lips: These colors do tend to feather around the lips after sometime, so lining your lips to keep it from feathering or bleeding out is a must!

“But I can’t find a lip liner in blue or green!”  Find yourself a white lip liner or a shade closest to your natural lip color. I use one that is slightly darker than my lip color and I have had no issues with feather or color bleeding. 

ColourPop 

Under $10

By far my favorite makeup brand. I have never had any issues with any ColourPop product. They are an indie brand that is also very budget friendly. I put them first on the list because they are affordable and when trying out these colorful lip colors for the first time you may not want to spend $15+ on something you may or may not like.  

ColourPop Lux Lipstick – Sweetener (cool fuchsia)

ColourPop Lux Lipstick – Cheetah (lilac/cool-toned lavender)

ColourPop Lux Lipstick – JV (cool dark denim

ColourPop Lux Lipstick – Confetti Cake (teal green)

ColourPop Lux Lipstick – Getty (deep teal)

ColoruPop Lux Lipstick – Trill Seeker (periwinkle)

ColourPop Lux Lipstick – Check, Please (yellow-orange)

ColourPop Lux Lipstick – Around the World (red-orange)

ColourPop Lux Lipstick – Aeronaut (Black)

ColourPop Lippie Stix – Chi Chi (true orange)

ColourPop Lippie Stix – Are You Surreal (Vibrant hot pink)

ColourPop Lippie Stix – Tickler (“neon” pink)

ColourPop Lippie Stix – Heart On (cool-toned magenta)

ColourPop Ultra Stain Lip – The Rabbit (bright fuchsia)

ColourPop Ultra Matte Lip – Dr. M (deep green)

ColourPop Ultra Matte Lip – Friday (Black)

 Anastasia Beverly Hills

$18-$40  Anastasia has always been good to me. Great pigmentation. Their mattes don’t dry out my lips and they last a long time. They are a bit on the expensive side. I only own the more colorful shades from this brand because of their longevity and comfort. I don’t own any of their nude color lipsticks. 

Anastasia Beverly Hills Liquid Lipstick – Insomniac (Faded teal)

ABH Liquid Lipstick – Requiem (metallic blackened teal)

ABH Liquid Lipstick – Nocturnal (Indigo Blue)

ABH Liquid Lipstick – Violet (cool-toned purple)

ABH Liquid Lipstick – Clover (“stormy” lilac)

ABH Liquid Lipstick – Rio (blue-toned hot pink)

ABH Matte Lipstick – Insomniac (mint turquoise)

ABH Matte Lipstick – Cobalt (cobalt blue)

ABH Matte Lipstick – Midnight (black)

ABH Matte Lipstick – Rage (vivid grape)

ABH Lip Palette (palette for mixing lip colors to create a custom color)

 Fenty Beauty

$18

If you ask, you will get mixed comments about these lipsticks. I like what I have used, but you do have to prep and prime because they do wear at the water line fast. Or they just don’t apply well to the water line. But with proper priming, they last. I love the shade One of the Boyz (it is definitely the shade Abbacchio wears) and Midnight Wasabi (or as I like to call it, Dio green). 

Mattemoiselle Lipstick – Midnight Wasabi (deep green)

Mattemoiselle Lipstick – Turks and Caicos (deep teal)

Mattemoiselle Lipstick – Ya Dig? (periwinkle)

Mattemoiselle Lipstick – One of the Boyz (lilac)

Mattemoiselle Lipstick – Violet Fury (Vivid Violet)

Mattemoiselle Lipstick – Clapback (True Navy)

Mattemoiselle Lipstick – Tiger Tini (orange)

Mattemoiselle Lipstick – Saw-C (tangerine)

 Urban Decay

$19

I own more of their nude and vampy colors, but they do last and wear comfortable. 

Vice Lipstick – Control (Blue)

Vice Lipstick – Heroine (navy blue)

Vice Lipstick – Pandemonium (Purple)

Vice Liquid Lipstick – MAD (Shimmery bright purple)

 NYX

Under $10

NYX is a brand I have a love/hate relationship with. Most of their products I either enjoy or I just end up returning or throwing out (thank goodness they are relatively inexpensive). Jet Set so far has been the only liquid lipstick from their lipstick lines that I liked and don’t have issues with. But perhaps you will fare better. 

Liquid Suede Cream Lipstick – Little Denim Dress (sky blue)

Liquid Suede Cream Lipstick – Jet Set (Royal Blue with purple under-tone)

Notable mentions:

TooFaced: I own some of their Melted Mattes and they are great, but they do tend to dry the lips and can sometimes flake off when you reapply throughout the day.

Kat Von D: I still own some of her liquid lipsticks. They are great and she has a wide range of colorful shades, but I no longer support her brand and try not to purchase from her if I can help it. 

Black Moon Cosmetics: Tons of colorful shades! But I’ve never tried this brand before. They are on my list to try next.

[jeremy-ken-anderson]

FFXIV: Endgame

Mild Spoilers for the magic system of Final Fantasy XIV. Okay? Okay.

So FFXIV has a thing where - whether this is a natural state of the world or something the Big Bad is actually doing to the world to sow chaos - the magic system has Summoning Primals as a spell people can learn. But the word Summoning isn’t accurate; This is the great lie of the Ascians (who are a bunch of Organization XIII-looking assholes who go around teaching this spell to people). The truth is that what’s called forth is an extension of your own will, not a true creature in its own right.

The primals are bad for two reasons: First because they’re generally born of fanaticism and based on people’s gods or heroes, there’s the direct consequence of most of them being violent monsters. And that’s bad. But more insidious is that they aren’t energy-neutral. Where normal living things have a sort of breathe-in breathe-out relationship with aether - the lifestream of this mythos - the primals need enormous amounts to maintain their form, like a fire sucking up oxygen to keep itself going. Also like a fire they’ll eventually destroy everything if not stopped.

With that primer out of the way, here’s what I think would be the most badass possible closer for FFXIV.

We’ve established that the primals aren’t real. They aren’t being actually summoned from somewhere but created from a cocktail of belief, some kind of Ascian secret, and a boatload of crystals (which are condensed aether - in other words, energy).

We’ve established that in addition to gods, any kind of hero can also be cloned as a primal if they’re venerated by enough people. Shiva, King Theordan, The Good King Moggle Mog XII (may his pom-pom never fade) - The people “summoning” these primals aren’t confusing them with gods.

More interestingly, when Gilgamesh summons Enkidu in this way there’s a very real possibility this means the original person doesn’t even have to be dead for a copy to be made of them. And when you look at the way it works, that makes sense. Why would they? It’s harder to become enough of a legend in your own time to be venerated by that many people, but it’s by no means impossible.

Which brings us neatly to what should be one of the final bosses of the game: You.

Your primal.

The Warrior of Light, as believed in by the people of Eorzea. You’ve helped multiple nations. You’ve killed gods for them. You’ve saved cities. You’ve toppled tyrants. When everything goes to shit, everyone turns to you. All it would take is the Ascians telling them they could summon you with a spell - perhaps wearing the guise of Scions at the time so people aren’t like, “I just figured that guy in the red mask and black cloak was a real stand-up guy who wanted what was best for me!"

The programmers could have a single outfit - The Warrior of Light outfit - wearable by all classes. For each player, the game then feeds back Your Character Model wearing that outfit and twenty feet tall (yes, this is more proportionally jarring on a lalafell, but standardizing the height to 20′ makes it easier to make the moves look right and anyone will look like a proper giant at that size) and have a specific moveset for the boss.

Nobody else - not even the generals or lords of the Garlean Empire - has the kind of legend surrounding them to become candidates for primal summoning within their own life. But you do. And how ridiculously badass would that be?

I mean, every primal in the game has this big lead-up, and you kind of make a game out of guessing who the next primal will be (”Lady Iceheart, leading a group of cultists stealing crystals OH SHIT IT’S SHIVA WE GET TO FIGHT SHIVA”), and who’s more iconic, more central to the series, than The Warrior of Light? But I bet most people - even those trying to guess it - wouldn’t guess it. It would be an actual surprise reveal. And I don’t know about you but when the primal was revealed to be ME? My character, that I’ve been playing? I would Lose My Shit.

And can you imagine a group of streamers all getting into that cutscene together and realizing that it’s showing each of them their own character?

[zukalations]

BIHODOKI/Beauty behind the curtain -  Manaki Reika (Moon Troupe)

BIHODOKI is a GRAPH musumeyaku feature about beauty, fashion and lifestyle. Manaki Reika’s was published in the February 2018 issue. 

NOTE: I don’t endorse any beauty or health treatments recommended by Takarasiennes. Translation is for information purposes only.

BIHODOKI/Beauty behind the curtain -  Manaki Reika (Moon Troupe)

How much effort is hidden behind the beauty of the musumeyaku…!? This corner pursues those secrets.

Inside

Relax:

I like putting on music while reading magazines. The music depends on how I feel at the time; Western music, classical music, Disney songs…

Skin Care:

The most important thing for me is cleansing and face-washing. Once I’ve taken my makeup off I’ll wash my face with a foaming cleanser and then rinse with lukewarm water. After that, I’ll get the water off with a tissue and apply a beauty serum called ‘Takami Skin Peel’. Then, I’ll put on a skin toner, a milk-based lotion, and cold cream, in that order. One important thing is that after putting the skin toner on with a cotton ball, I’ll rub it in with my fingers to make sure it all gets soaked into my skin!

Bath:

My metabolism is poor, so I always make sure to really soak in the bath. Sometimes I’ll massage in the bath, or put in baking soda packs… Some bath powders I really like are Ayura and Kikiyu, but sometimes I will just put in salt and rice wine. It will make the water really soft and your skin really smooth, so I recommend trying it!

Hair Care:

The Loretta line of products works really well with my hair, so I use their hair oil and night care hair cream, and a lot of other things. When I have blond hair, I’ll regularly go to a salon for treatments. When I get out of the bath at home, I focus on getting my hair dry as quickly as possible. Also, I think keeping my scalp supple is also good for my hair’s health, so when I’m in the bath I make sure not to skip doing a scalp massage!

Body Care:

Musumeyaku use foundation over their whole body, so it’s very drying. Therefore, in summertime I apply an inexpensive toner generously all over right after getting out of the bath. In wintertime, before I’m totally dry I’ll apply baby oil and skin cream - moisturizing is vital!

Meals:

I’m very proactive in making sure I get plenty of fruits and enzymes. Since its not good to chill one’s insides in the morning, I’ll drink a cup of plain warm water; Gussan (Harumi Yuu) and Toki (Kanoha), who are a class below me, recommended that. In the past, I used to diet, but after all it’s better for my body to eat proper meals, so now I make sure to eat a balanced diet. But even so, I really love sweets, so sometimes Gussan will chide me and say ‘you know you shouldn’t eat only sweets, right?’ (laughs)

Outside

Makeup:

I have a very young-looking face, and sometimes it’s very helpful, but sometimes I struggle with it… But, as I’ve been in Takarazuka longer, the amount of mature characters I’ve been given has increased, so due to that I’ve challenged myself with many new makeup techniques. If I use too heavy a base it’s bad for my skin, so when I am not working I’ll use just a primer and concealer. If I put foundation on, I’ll use a cushion type or a liquid foundation and just put it on the areas I think need it. I only use enough powder to set everything. For eye makeup, I don’t use eyeshadow just on my top lid, but also below my eye, and I use eyeliner on my eyelash line. My under-eye lashes are fairly thick, so when I put mascara on, I take care that it doesn’t end up looking too black all around my eyes. On my lips, I really love this lip product called ISKIN Lip Addict; it makes my lips look nice and plump so I like it a lot.

Hair Style:

My face is a bit ‘simple’ (laughs), so if I make my hairstyle too complex, my face will end up overshadowed. Therefore, I usually like to do rather simple hairstyles. Today, I wanted to do something a bit playful to match my outfit, so I made a high ponytail and braided it, and then used my hair to hide the elastic.

Clothes and Accessories:

A lot of  the time when choosing clothes what I focus on most is balancing out the length of my neck. Of course, when I am working, I wear musumeyaku-style clothes, but when I am off work I’ll wear anything that makes me thing ‘that’s so cute!’. I owned this black shirt I wore today for ages, but never had a chance to wear it, so I thought ‘perhaps it would look cute with this red turtleneck?’ and tried it out today. If I wear simple clothes, I can wear accessories that are a bit larger, so I enjoy matching them together.

Nail:

I change it depending on the role, but on the whole, I like simple shades like beige or pale pink. I worry about my nails drying out, so I apply a lot of nail oil.

Perfume:

I like Jo Malone perfume. My favorites are ‘Nectarine Blossom and Honey’ and ‘Mimosa and Cardamom’. Often I’ll put it on at night before I go to sleep, so I wake up with the gentle scent. Sometimes I’ll use a body cream in the same scent, or sometimes I’ll use different scents of perfume and body cream. I enjoy mixing together the different scents.

[dutchpagan]

Ogham - an introduction

So I may be Dutch, but there's interesting things to learn from all over the world and from all kinds of cultures. I've always had a love of the Irish ogham letters - probably since they're strongly connected to popular Celtic paganism, and to tree lore. Here's an introduction to the Ogham I wrote some years ago, that I think is still pretty accurate. Please let me know if you've any comments or questions!

---

History About ten years ago I came across a book called Celtic Tree Mysteries by Steve Blamires. Now, I’m interested in Celtic stuff, and I love tree and mysteries, so this was the right book for me. Through this book (which in my humble opinion is quite a good start if you want to learn more about this subject) I learned about the Ogham alphabet. This early medieval Irish alphabet has become quite popular in modern Celtic Pagan and Druid circles, mostly as a means of divination, but also for other magical purposes.

As I said, the alphabet is early medieval Irish. It might have been developed when the first Christians came to Ireland and brought the concept of writing with them, but there is no actual proof of that. We have about 400 known inscriptions on stones, most of them names. The functions of these stones is unclear, but most researchers are of the opinion that they mark borders. Other uses of Ogham have been found in manuscripts, and these provide more insight.

Contemporary information on the Ogham is sparse; what has been written about it can be read in high medieval and late medieval manuscripts. These manuscripts are: The Book of Leinster (12th century) The Book of Ballymote (1391) The Book of Lecan (1416)

These manuscripts refer to older sources: The Scholar’s Primer, The Values of the Forfeda and the Book of Ogham. The Scholar’s Primer says that Ogham was only to be used by learned men – would they be monks or druids? The act of reading and writing was very elite in the early Middle Ages, so we can be sure that the average Irish farmer wouldn’t have been very familiar with Ogham.

The exact origin of Ogham isn’t known, but there some interesting myths and stories have been written down. In one of the manuscripts we find a legend about the origin of the Ogham: it was developed by Fenius Farsaidh, with the help of Goidel Mac Etheoir and Iar Mac Nema and a whole host of scholars. After the destruction of the Biblical Tower of Babel, Fenius went to search for the letters all over the world that together would make the most perfect language. Each letter was named after a linguist who best devoted his time to this task. Note that ‘Gaelic’ or ‘Goidelic’ (the name of the Irish language) comes from Goidel Mac Etheoir, one of the scholars that developed Ogham.

Apart from this legend, another link has been made by modern scholars with the Celtic Irish god Ogma, who may be compared to the Celtic Gallic god Ogmios. The names of these gods seem connected to Ogham (which, by the way, means something like ‘idea’ or ‘notion’). The Romans liked to compare foreign gods with their own gods and they dubbed Ogmios the ‘Celtic Hercules’, or at least an older version of their Hercules. According to these Roman sources, Ogmios was depicted as an old but strong man with one end of a chain through his tongue, the other end being attached to the ears of an eager public. This has been explained as the power of eloquence, or the power of words, in which the strength of this god lies. There is no direct connection between Ogham and Ogma/Ogmios, but could there be a divine element to the development of Ogham, keeping this part of mythology in mind?

Purpose and meaning The ancient Celts were mostly an illiterate people. It was the Roman world, and Christianity after that, that brought the written word to those parts in Europe that apparently had no use for it before. This is also the reason why we use the letters we have today instead of systems like the Ogham. Our letters are derived from Roman scripture, and more directly from the letters in medieval manuscripts (especially those made under Charlemagne). To be honest, Ogham isn’t a very practical script – so what was it used for?

Based on where the Ogham has been found, it appears that this alphabet had a few specific uses. First of all, as has already been noted above, Ogham has been found on standing stones, or monoliths. They are said to mark borders, and by doing that they also marked someone’s property. This might also be the reason why mostly names and short phrases (‘of the clan of x’, etc.) are found on these stones, instead of actual texts. There could also be some cryptic message in all this, since not many people were actually able to read Ogham, even in that time – but as far as I know this has been lost. Ogham that has been found in manuscripts seems to have a different function. It has mostly the purpose of learning, remembering and making connections.

But there are also certain stories in which the Ogham has a more magical purpose. From these old sagas we learn that Ogham was not only written down on stone, but also on wood. This is a material that doesn’t last, so there is no physical evidence, but it seems plausible that this was actually done in reality. There is even one instance where Ogham is written on metal. In the Book of Leinster we find an medieval legend in which an Ogham text on an iron ring around a stone says: ‘Whoever comes to this meadow, if he is armed, he is forbidden to leave this meadow without requesting single combat.’ The only thing stopping someone from simply leaving the meadow without a fight is the text itself – therefore it must hold some magical power. The semi-divine hero Cú Chulainn has another solution; he throws the stone away, with ring and all. In another instance, Cu Chulainn gives a small wooden spear to the king of Alba (Scotland) inscribed with Ogham – it says that the king is allowed to take Cú Chulainn’s seat at the court of Ulster.

There is slight evidence of the use of Ogham as divination in Irish myth, and this is what Ogham is used for today by many Celtic Pagans and Druids. In an Irish legend, a druid writes down Ogham letters on yew sticks and then uses them for divination, but it gives no further details.   Nowadays, what is most popular is to make a branch for every letter and then use this set of branches in several ways. This can be done by blindly drawing one or several sticks and then interpret the meaning of the letter(s). Another way is to throw the branches on ‘Finn’s Window’ (based on the round diagram that can be seen on the parchment page from the Book of Ballymote here depicted) and draw a meaning from how the branches fall.

The technical details So, after reading all this, you’re probably wondering what this Ogham alphabet actually looks like. I’m not a linguist, but I’ll give you an outlining that’ll hopefully give you more insight. The Ogham Alphabet doesn’t have the sort of letters that we are familiar with. Its essence is lines; smaller lines that are placed in a series across a longer line. Ogham can be found on standing stones, where this line goes from bottom to top (and from top to bottom on the other side) . It can also be found in parchment manuscripts, where it goes from left to right. The notches on the long line, the actual letters, are called feda, which means ‘wood’. Is this just a figural way of speaking, since the long vertical line on a stone with the notches on each side does sort of look like a tree?  Or is there more behind this? I don’t know this – then again, I can’t actually read Old Irish, excepts for the few words that are needed to understand the Ogham alphabet, so perhaps someone else can help me out here. On to the letters and their order:

B  L  F  S  N  H  D  T  C  Q  M G  nG St R A  O  U  E  I  EA  Oi  Ui  iO  AE

That makes 25 letters, of which the last five letters (the so called forfeda) were added at later times – so it appears the oldest version of Ogham had twenty letters.

Keeping these twenty letters in mind, there are four families/series, or aicmí (plural of aicme), that each contain five letters: Aicme Beithe, Aicme hÚatha, Aicme Muine, and Aicme Ailme. Note also that a neat quarter of these letters is a vowel and three quarters exits of consonants.

There is some confusion about the order of the first five letters. In many texts it says BLFSN, but in some other text it says BLNFS. As far as I know, it was Robert Graves in his famous book The White Goddess, who used the sequence of BLNFS first. This has probably to do with the poetic and mythological value he added to each letter, and also with his introduction of the so-called Ogham Tree Calendar. [The tree calendar gives a certain period or time of the year for each letter, e.g. 24 December – 20 January for Beithe. This is a strictly modern invention, though that shouldn’t say everything about its value.] The White Goddess has had a huge influence on many modern pagan and witchcraft traditions, and I think that it’s from this source that the BLNFS-sequence has seeped into the modern use of the Ogham alphabet. However, it seems that more historically authentic sources stick to BLFSN, so that’s the sequence I’m sticking with, too.

Some note about individual letters: iO was original P – for some reason this letter was replaced in later times, leaving the alphabet without a proper P-sound. AE was originally X or CH.

The ‘Tree Alphabet’ So what about the name ‘tree alphabet’? Actually, the Ogham was also a bird alphabet, colour alphabet, river alphabet, etc. It appears that there were many systems that were used for remembering the letters of the Ogham alphabet. Of all these systems (several hundreds, they say), the tree system has been most popular since early times. So, every letter got a tree attached to it, and by memorizing the trees, one was able to memorize the letters. A mnemonic aid of some sorts. Then again, we can’t rule out a deeper, perhaps even magical, meaning for using such a system.

The meaning of the letters connected to the trees was further developed in the uses of kennings, or phrases, known as the Bríatharogham. Three of these lists are known: Bríatharogham Morainn Mac Moín (who was a human judge) Bríatharogham Mac Oengus (god) Bríatharogham Cú Chulainn (semi-divine hero, we’ve already noted him in connection to the Ogham) The translations of these kennings can be found below, under each individual letter.

The separate letters

Beithe Literal meaning: birch, (a) being Letter: B Tree: birch (beithe) Book of Ballymote: Now Beithe has been named from the Birch owing to its resemblance to the trunk of that tree. Of withered trunk, fair-haired the Birch. Word Ogham of Morainn: Faded trunk and fair hair/withered foot with fine hair. Word Ogham of Cú Chulainn: Browed beauty, worthy of pursuit/beauty of the eyebrow. Word Ogham of Oengus: Most silver of skin/greyest of skin.

Luis Literal meaning: flame, herb Letter: L Tree: rowan (caertheand) Book of Ballymote: Luis is named from Mountain Ash (caertheand) as it is the old Gaelic name for rowan. [Delightful] for eyes is Mountain Ash owing to the beauty of its berries. Word Ogham of Morainn: Delight of eye, quicken-tree; to whit, the flame/luster of the eye. Word Ogham of Cú Chulainn: Strength of cattle/sustenance of cattle. Word Ogham of Oengus: Friend of cattle.

Fearn Literal meaning: alder Letter: F Tree: alder (fearn) Book of Ballymote: Fearn, Alder, the van of the warrior band for thereof are the shields. Word Ogham of Morainn: Shield of warrior bands, owing to their redness/vanguard of warriors. Word Ogham of Cú Chulainn: Protection of the heart, a shield/protection of the heart. Word Ogham of Oengus: Guarding of milk, or milk bucket/milk container.

Saille Literal meaning: willow Letter: S Tree: Willow (saille) Book of Ballymote: Tthe colour of a lifeless one that is, it has no colour, owing to the resemblance of the colour to a dead person. Word Ogham of Morainn: Hue of the lifeless/pallor of a lifeless one. Word Ogham of Cú Chulainn: Beginning of loss, willow/beginning of honey. Word Ogham of Oengus: Strength of bees/sustenance of bees.

Nion Literal meaning: branch fork, loft Letter: N Tree: ash (uinnius) Book of Ballymote: Nion, Ash-tree, a check on peace is Nion for of it are made the spear-shafts by which the peace is broken. Word Ogham of Morainn: Checking of peace/establishing of peace. Word Ogham of Cú Chulainn: Flight of beauty, a weaver’s beam/boast of beauty. Word Ogham of Oengus: The flight of women/boast of women.

hUuath Literal meaning: horror, fear Letter: (silent) H Tree: white thorn Book of Ballymote: A meet of hounds is Huath (whitethorn), or because it is formidable owing to its thorns. Word Ogham of Morainn: Pack of wolves/assembly of pack of hounds. Word Ogham of Cú Chulainn: Difficult night, hawthorn/most difficult at night. Word Ogham of Oengus: Whitening of face/blanching of faces.

Duir Literal meaning: oak Letter: D Tree: oak (duir) Book of Ballymote: Duir, Oak, higher than bushes is an oak. Word Ogham of Morainn: highest of bushes/highest tree Word Ogham of Cú Chulainn: Kneeling work, bright and shining work/most carved of craftmanship Word Ogham of Oengus: Craft work/handicraft of a craftsmanship.

Tinne Literal meaning: metal bar, ingot. Letter: T Tree: holly (cuileand) Book of ballymote: A third of a wheel is Tinne, because holly is one of the three timbers of the chariot wheel. Word Ogham of Morainn: Third of a wheel/one of three parts of a wheel. Word Ogham of Cú Chulainn: A third of weapons, an iron bar/one of three parts of a weapon. Word Ogham of Oengus: Fires of coal/marrow of (char)coal.

Coll Literal meaning: hazel Letter: C Tree: hazel (coll) Book of Ballymote: Coll, that is everyone is eating of its nuts. Word Ogham of Morainn: Fairest of trees/fairest tree. Word Ogham of Cú Chulainn: Sweetest of woods, a nut/sweetest tree. Word Ogham of Oengus: Friend of cracking/friend of nutshells

Quert Literal meaning: bush Letter: Q Tree: apple (aball) Book of Ballymote: Shelter of a wild hind is is Quert, that is, an apple tree. Word Ogham of Morainn: Shelter of a hind, lunatic or death/sense [the time when a lunatic’s sense comes back to him]/shelter of a lunatic. Word Ogham of Cú Chulainn: Excellent emblem, protection/dregs of clothing. Word Ogham of Oengus: Force of a man/substance of an insignificant person.

Muin Literal meaning: not certain – neck, ruse/trick, love/esteem Letter: M Tree: vine (finemhain) Book of Ballymote: Highest of beauty is Muin, that is, because it grows aloft. That is, a vine-tree. Word Ogham of Morainn: Highest of beauty, strongest of effort, Muin equals back of man or ox for it is they in existence that are strongest as regards effort./strongest in exertion. Word Ogham of Cú Chulainn: Pack of wolves with spears, three vines/path of the voice. Word Ogham of Oengus: The condition of slaughter/proverb of slaughter.

Gort Literal meaning: field (as in: garden) Letter: G Tree: ivy (edind) Book of Ballymote: Gort, that is ivy, greener than pastures is ivy. Word Ogham of Morainn: Greenest of pastures, sweeter than grasses, due to associations with corn fields/sweetest grass. Word Ogham of Cú Chulainn: Pleasing oil, corn/sating of multitudes. Word Ogham of Oengus: Size of a warrior/suitable place for cows.

nGetal Literal meaning: slaying Letter: nG Tree: broom (cilcach) Book of Ballymote: nGetal, broom or fern, a physician’s strength is broom. Word Ogham of Morainn: A physician’s strength, panacea equals broom/sustenance of a leech. Word Ogham of Cú Chulainn: beginning of heroic deeds, healing/beginning of slaying. Word Ogham of Oengus: Robe of physicians/raiment of physicians.

Straiph, Literal meaning: sulphur Letter: St Tree: blackthorn (draighin) Book of Ballymote: The hedge of a stream is straiph, that is, blackthorn. Word Ogham of Morainn: Careful effort, strongest of red, straiph equals sloe which gives strong red dye on metal/strongest reddening (dye). Word Ogham of Cú Chulainn: An arrow’s mist, smoke drifting up from the fire/seeking of clouds. Word Ogham of Oengus: Increasing of secrets/increase of secrets.

Ruis Literal meaning: red Letter: R Tree: elder (trom) Book of Ballymote: The redness of shame is Ruis, that is, elder. Word Ogham of Morainn: intensest of blushes, it I reddening of a man’s face through the juice of the herb being rubbed on it/most intense blushing. Word Ogham of Cú Chulainn: Arduous anger, punishment/glow of anger. Word Ogham of Oengus: redness of faces/reddening of faces.

Ailm Literal meaning: pine (?) Letter: A Tree: fir or pine Book of Ballymote: Ailm, a fir tree, a pine tree. Word Ogham of Morainn: Loudest of groanings, that is, wondering. Ailm or A for that is what a man says while groaning in disease or wonder/loudest groan. Word Ogham of Cú Chulainn: Beginning of the weaver’s beams, ahh/beginning of calling. Word Ogham of Oengus: Beginning of answers/beginning of an answer.

Onn Literal meaning: ash-tree Letter: O Tree: furze (aiten) Book of Ballymote: Onn that is furze. Word Ogham of Morainn: Helper of horses, wheels of a chariot, equally wounding; whin/wounder of horses. Word Ogham of Cú Chulainn: Strength of warriors, fierceness/[equipment]  of warriorbands. Word Ogham of Oengus: Gentlest of work/smoothest of craftsmanship.

Ur Literal meaning: earth, clay, soil Letter: U Tree: heather (fraech) Book of Ballymote: Ur, that is heath. Word Ogham of Morainn: Terrible tribe, in cold dwellings; mould of the earth, or heath/in cold dwellings. Word Ogham of Cú Chulainn: Completion of lifelessness, the grave/shroud of a lifeless one. Word Ogham of Oengus: Growing of plants/propagation of plants.

Edhad Literal meaning: unknown Letter: E Tree: aspen (crithach) Book of Ballymote: Horrible grief, that is, test tree or aspen. Word Ogham of Morainn: Distinguished man or wood/discerning tree. Word Ogham of Cú Chulainn: Kinsman to the birch, aspen/brother of birch (?) Word Ogham of Oengus: Additional name for a friend/exchange of friends.

Idhad Literal meaning: yew-tree (?) Letter: I Tree: yew (idhad) Book of Ballymote: Yew. Word Ogham of Morainn: Oldest of woods, service tree, yes/oldest tree Word Ogham of Cú Chulainn: strength or colour of a sick man, people or an age/energy of an infirm person. Word Ogham of Oengus: Abuse for an ancestor or pleasing consent/fairest of the ancients.

Ebad Literal meaning: unknown Letter: EA Tree: apsen (critchach) Word Ogham of Morainn: Fair-swimming letter. Word Ogham of Cú Chulainn: Fairest fish. Word Ogham of Oengus: [admonishing?] of an infirm person.

Óir Literal meaning: gold Letter: OI Tree: spindle-tree or ivy (feorus, edind) Word Ogham of Morainn: Most venerable substance. Word Ogham of Oengus: Splendour of form.

Uillen Literal meaning: elbow Letter: UI Tree: honeysuckle (edleand) Word Ogham of Morainn: Fragnant tree. Word Ogham of Oengus: Great elbow/cubit.

Iphín Literal meaning: spine, thorn (?) Letter: IO Tree: gooseberry or thorn (spinan, ispin) Word Ogham of Morainn: Sweetest tree. Word Ogham of Oengus: Mostwonderful taste.

Emancholl Literal meaning: twin of hazel Letter: AE Word Ogham of Morainn: Groan of a sick person. Word Ogham of Oengus: Groan of a sick person

[secondscion]

Astralarium Book Descriptions

At the renown heart at the Astralarium, you can interact with books after putting them on the shelves to read some text from the book. Here's the text from all 20 books for those who don't want to go through and shelve all of them :)

I’ve also included some notes about where the books should be shelved and where some of the harder ones to find are located.

A Brief History of Cantha

Category: History

(This text is not a work of fiction but is based on historical fact as interpreted by the author. Historical facts have been revised based upon new information acquired by the author since the original printing in 1022 AE.)

In this updated 50th Anniversary Edition, the estimable Loremaster Ermenred provides readers a unique look at the Canthan Empire's intricate and storied history.

From its comprehensive timeline reaching back to the Age of the Marmoset, to its exhaustive examination of Assassins and Ritualists (two of Cantha's oldest and most unique professions), this work is the perfect primer for scholars both young and old.

Behaviors of Risen Beasts

Category: Zoology

Risen creatures display a wide variety of behaviors that most experts would classify as "hostile," both to natural Elonian wildlife and to seasoned explorers alike. This volume contains a distillation of firsthand discoveries and experiments devoted to unraveling the mysteries of this corruption and the methods used to neutralize it.

Using observational logs from Kamma's countless hours within the United Arcanist Lab, readers will get an inside look at the most minute details of her fascinating study on Risen behavior and anatomy.

This fourth edition printing contains a special foreword by an anonymous testing associate Kamma recruited during her experiments on Risen tissue.

Biography of Gwen Thackeray

Category: Notable Heroes

Shaped by a life of loss and victory, driven by ferocity and cunning, Gwen Thackeray is indisputably one of Ascalon's most influential post-Searing figures.

A mere child of ten at the onset of the charr invasion, Gwen spent the better part of a decade enslaved to Ascalon's bestial conquerors. From her failed first attempt to her ultimate victory over the charr in the freeing of revolutionary Pyre Fierceshot, Captain Thackeray's incredible life has been the subject of fierce debate and detailed historical records.

To the people of her homeland, she is and forever will be known as the true Hero of Ascalon. Yet to her enemies, hushed whispers speak of a terrifying foe known by a more ominous title: Goremonger.

Read along as our team of experts delves into the fascinating history of this larger-than-life hero of humanity.

Biography of Ogden Stonehealer

Category: Notable Heroes

A gifted healer and a faithful follower of the Great Dwarf, Ogden Stonehealer has devoted his life to the gathering and preservation of knowledge throughout Tyria.

From his home within the Durmand Priory, Stonehealer serves the many races of our world as a living compendium, a veritable library of lore reaching back to the days of yore.

But a life such as this does not begin in the quiet halls of academia. When the Elder Dragons threatened to bring ruin to the dwarves, a great battle raged from deep within the surface of our world to its highest mountain peaks. The Great Dwarf and the Great Destroyer met head-on, and the fate of all dwarves was forged in the fires of war.

Eternal Alchemy of the Stars

Category: Astronomy

Do you seek new meaning in the age-old quandries of the Eternal Alchemy? Then look no further than the lens of your telescope! In his exciting literary debut, Pilkk explores the previously undiscovered connections between the Eternal Alchemy and the stars above. About the author:

A merchant by trade, Pilkk spent many a night in the Cursed Shores staring at the sky, pondering the Eternal Alchemy. His early studies at the Durmand Priory yielded few answers and greater questions, plaguing Pilkk day in and out. After years of unanswered questions, he turned his queries to the stars. Much to his surprise, they replied.

Despite controversy over Pilkk's qualifications, scholars and laypeople alike find his lines of inquiry both insightful and easy to understand. As a result of his studies, Pilkk was awarded the "Unexpected Brilliance" award by the Durmand Priory.

Everyday Healing: Gift of the Monk

Category: Theology

Do you seek the divine favor of the gods but have yet to receive their blessed power? Fear not and look no further, for you already have the power within you.

Since the ancient professions coalesced, the monks of Tyria have been harnessing this gift, perfecting a unique form of prayer-based healing that mitigates the woes of modern life and conditions their acolytes into warriors of peace and righteousness.

In this easy-to-follow book, we'll provide all burgeoning monks with a guaranteed path to improving their form and reducing painful overextension.

Remember, the road is long, but it need not be taken alone. Share your journey with a friend, because as the old saying goes: a friend on the path's worth your life by half. 

How Kormir Did It

Category: Theology

There are few humans in Tyria's history who can say they've challenged a god. Fewer still can claim they defeated one. Yet only one can claim to have ascended our mortal plane, becoming a god herself.

Kormir, Goddess of Order, Spirit, and Truth, began her rise to godhood as a decorated Spearmarshal. Even in life, she sought to bring order from chaos, leading the charge against criminals and corsairs who threatened the lives of the innocent.

In this exciting collection, Kormir's loyal Sunspear compatriots speak of her mortal years, how she survived her confrontation with the Hunger, the grand battle against the fallen god Abbadon, and her ultimate ascension to the pantheon.

Koss on Koss

Category: Notable Heroes

I am Koss Dejarin, Sunspear and protector of Elona. Many writers have tried to chronicle my journey from nobleman to warrior to simple farmer, but none of them has been me. And so it was that I set out to remedy this, taking up the pen in lieu of the spear to set the record straight once and for all.

Perhaps you've heard of my relationship with corsairs throughout Elona, and the sacrifices I've had to make to keep their swords from our throats. Perhaps you've heard of how my father disowned me for joining the Sunspears. Perhaps you've heard of my adventures with the Tyrian hero and the final fall of Abbadon.

Or perhaps you've heard of none of these things. Regardless of where you stand, I assure you that this autobiography is the final word on my life, and the only side of my story world believing.

Malomedies's Observational Tips

Category: Astronomy

From the mind of Malomedies, master astronomer and mathematician, comes the ultimate collection of tips, tools, and tricks for stargazers new and old alike! Piecing together a lifetime's worth of research, Malomedies's students offer a rare glimpse into their master's brilliance through easy-to-digest lessons and dictums.

Are you a budding apprentice? A seasoned master? This collection has something for everyone.

Discover what materials are most appropriate in sun-viewing telescope lens filters, marvel at Malomedies's simple schema for interpreting binary and trinary star systems allignments, and much more!

Raptor Training and Care

Category: Zoology

Recognized as Elona's supreme authorities on raptor training and care, Aksim and Tasa offer up their expert knowledge in this comprehensive guidebook on creating a lasting bond with your spiny saurian.

Learn all there is to know about raptor behavior, positive reinforcement, grooming, and proper riding techniques. Whether you're looking for a partner to race across the dunes of the Crystal Oasis or you just want a loyal companion to guide you through the busy streets of Amnoon, this guide is sure to give readers a deeper appreciation for the lifelong bond they can build with their raptor.

Not sure if a raptor is right for you? Visit Aksim's raptor stable in the Crystal Oasis to hear about the benefits of raptor ownership firsthand.

Skies of Nightfall

Category: Astronomy

Across Elona, the prophecy of Nightfall is one of our most well-known but least understood texts. Now, using the analytical techniques of Malomedies, we can finally explore the world as it was leading up to Abbadon's calamitous escape attempt from the Realm of Torment. Through knowledge hidden in the stars, we can see firsthand how Varesh Ossa's plot unfolded with a clarity unlike any seen before.

Experience a brand-new side of this monumental historical event, learning invaluable techniques in the art of astronomical divination along the way!

Spirits of the Wild

Category: Theology

The norn city of Hoelbrak stands as a testament to a culture born of defiance; defiance both of the elements and of the Elder Dragon that sought to end their lives.

When Jormag threatened to bury the norn in a hellscape of ice and frost, the norn turned to their spirits: Wolf. Bear. Raven. Snow Leopard. The norn do not credit their survival to themselves, but to these Spirits of the Wild. In this updated compendium, renowned norn historian Thyrie Bylund explores the fascinating relationship between norn and their spirits. Through a combination of written firsthand accounts and oral histories, Bylund discovers the very real effect these spirits have on the norn and all who live alongside them.

Star Chart Basics

Category: Astronomy

Location: In the chamber directly above the bookshelves. Go up to the next level and enter the inner part of the building.

Looking to go from apprentice to master in the art of observing, charting, and interpreting the stars? Then break out your telescope and switch up your sleep schedule, because this comprehensive guide from Scholar Fatima (author of "Star Charts," "Advanced Star Charts," and the best-selling "A Fool's Guide to Star Charts") is the first and last resource you'll ever need!

Learn the basics of ascension and declination notation, the most ideal times of the lunar cycle to make observations, proper drawing techniques, and even weather-prediction tips to ensure you always have the best possible star-charting conditions.

Taming Elusive Beasts

Category: Zoology

A ranger's skill is oft demonstrated by their menagerie of tamed beasts. From bears to bristlebacks and beyond, the successful ranger knows the secrets of communicating with these creatures multifarious. In this fascinating series of personal accounts, ex-corsair and ranger extraordinaire Abasi details the complex intracacies of these relationships.

Using a suite of skills typical to rangers of any experience level, Abasi demonstrates proven methods for taming beasts of every shape and size using the proper body language, sounds, and tools. "It's a back and forth," explains Abasi. "It's a negotiation in a different language, and each creature has its own language to master."

The Genius of Vekk

Category: Notable Heroes

When the Great Destroyer threatened to turn its ire on the free peoples of Tyria, no single race stood alone in the conflict that followed, and no single asuran challenged the evil of this tragic era more so than Vekk.

Follow his journey in this comprehensive volume, from his beginnings as a simple elementalist to the indelible legacy he left as one of Tyria's greatest heroes.

Praise for "The Genius of Vekk"

"Combining written accounts from the era along with the most recent historical findings, this incredible biography covers everything from Vekk's knowledge of Scrying Pools to the emergence of asura gates in Tyria. I came away astounded at the depth and detail presented, andI (sic) would recommend this biography to anyone with an interest in the period"

- Arcanist Timble, Durmand Priory

The Grace of Melandru

Category: Theology

The next time you step outside, be sure to take a moment to listen. Do you hear that?

That is the sound of Melandru, speaking to you through the wind, the leaves, the grass. Pay careful attention, and you may be able to understand her words of wisdom.

Experience the full measure of Melandru's grace in this meditative exercise book, co-authored by twelve of her priests and priestesses throughout Tyria. Explore the value of nature walks, capture the beauty of her bounty with step-by-step leaf drawing exercises, and stop to smell the roses as you venture outside the comforts of your home and step into Melandru's own.

When you can see, feel, and hear her beauty all around you, perhaps you'll also come to appreciate the beauty within yourself.

The Movement of the World

Category: History

Location: In the chamber directly below the bookshelves. Head down the spiral staircase that the bookshelves circle.

Our world is constantly in motion, be it the tides of time, the tides of war, or the tides of the sea that swell and chum, covering kingdoms lost and revealing lands of old.

Decimus the Historian takes up his pen once more in this stunning essay on the events that have shaped our world, both figuratively and quite literally. As the guilds expanded and cultural revolutions pushed the races of Tyria closer together, our world shifted to one of modernity and prosperity.

But as the Elder Dragons woke and unnatural cataclysms tore open the flesh of the world, the face of Tyria was forever altered, and new conflicts threaten it in ways heretofore unseen. Humanity is in decline, the balance of power shifting. Only through careful examination of the past can we hope to change our future.

The Reign of Palawa Joko

Category: History

Marvel, all! For the finest compendium of Palawa Joko's deeds has finally been written, praise be unto his name!

From his mighty throne in the Bone Palace, deep within the Desolation, the great Palawa Joko inspires righteous fear and complete devotion from all corners of Elona. Press on, dear reader, and learn of his triumph over Varesh Ossa, his conflict with Mad King Thorn, and the inevitable rise of his elite Mordant Crescent.

Immerse yourself in the only historical text to accurately describe the incredible, world-changing achievements of the great Palawa Joko. The Elon River was diverted, the Bone Wall was constructed, yet so much remains in our future! Read on, friends, and bear witness to the brilliance of our savior, our leader, Palawa Joko!

You and Your Springer

Category: Zoology

Straight from the windswept canyons of Highjump Ranch comes the last guidebook you'll ever need on springer care! After years of working alongside Stablemaster Unja and her expertly trained family of ranch hands, we've compiled the ultimate list of dos and don'ts for the responsible springer owner.

Whether you're looking to construct the idea living environment, grow the right crossbreed of carrot, or learn just how high your springer can jump without injury, this guide will offer all the answers and then some!

A portion of all profits from this book goes to support Highjump Ranch and its efforts to find homes for springers all throughout the Crystal Desert.

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3 Minute Meditations

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3 Minute Meditations

 Buy Now

    Get ready to experience the simplest, gentlest 28-day jumpstart to the life-changing practice of meditation for beginners. I’m going to teach you the number one secret to have more peace, tranquility and balance in your life. It is doable, realistic, time-friendly and all-inclusive and will provide you with physical, mental and emotional harmony.

Before I tell you more about the PROVEN meditation techniques that have changed the outlook of meditation for thousands of people around the world, I am going to reveal the 3 most common barriers you are facing that are stopping you from getting the peace of mind and anxiety-free living that you deserve.

Your mind is just too busy to sit still for extended periods of time.

Let me tell you something my friend, join the club. Millions of people all across the planet suffer from the syndrome “I-Can’t-Sit-Still-itis”. We live in a society that has us over-stimulated on every level…cell phones, iPads, computers, tvs, billboards, car radios and the list goes on. It’s no wonder you can’t quiet your mind and sit still for any period of time.

That’s why we’re going to start you with baby steps. I’m not going to ask you to sit for 10, 20 or 30 minutes when you first begin. That’s like asking someone who struggles to drink one glass of water a day, to drink in excess of eight glasses a day. That’s a recipe for failure. Your body and your mind would rebel against this.

To find success, you would encourage the person to begin by drinking perhaps 3 glasses a day, then slowly increasing the amount as they found comfort. Likewise, since you’re probably struggling to sit still at all, I’m simply going to ask you to meditate for only 180 seconds a day. That’s right, 180 seconds a day! Once you realize, “Hey, I can do this!”, naturally and gradually you may begin to add time.

Get ready, I am about to show you a very unique and doable approach for beginning to meditate.

You can’t fit it into your already super busy schedule.

Listen, these days, if you’re anything like me, you’ve got a gazillion things that seem to demand your time. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. The crazy thing, is that today, our society makes us feel like we’ve always got to be doing, doing, doing.

At some point, though, if you’re always doing, doing, doing, and going, going, going…you’re going to hit a breaking point. I know I certainly did!

Each and everyone of us, myself included can find 3 minutes a day to meditate…it’s that simple. I’m here to tell you from personal experience, it’s imperative that you do. Your life depends on it.

Here’s the truth though (just in case you think it’s a waste of time), simply by taking a few short minutes a day to sit and be still, to refuel yourself, you will become that much more productive and present when you’re doing what you’re doing, whether it’s working, playing, studying, or loving 🙂

You’ll discover the most efficient and effective way to get the most out of your meditation time.

You want to start meditating but don’t know how and don’t want to spend lots of money to learn.

You’ve probably heard it said before, but it’s the starts that stop people. Just breaking the inertia that keeps us from getting from where we are to where we hope to be is very challenging for just about everybody. Truthfully there is a ton of information out there about how to begin meditating, it’s just that a lot of it can be confusing and/or expensive.

It’s time to put an end to this, let’s get you off the blocks!

As it relates to getting into the wonderful world of meditation, if you’re tired of feeling like you’re spinning your wheels and getting nowhere fast, then keep reading and you will find the SOLUTION you have been longing for. It’s easy to understand, simple to do and super inexpensive!

I want to let you know that all of the above barriers are NOT YOUR FAULT, BUT YOU NEED TO SET THE GAME UP TO WIN!

EVERYONE IS CAPABLE OF SITTING CALMLY IN MEDITATION

And you don’t need to be a spiritual aspirant, monk or mystic to get it.

YOU are capable of doing this! I doubted myself when I first started as well. But I finally figured out what I was doing wrong.

Once I learned the proper way to really meditate and create stillness of mind and body, I became doubtless.

Now I get to share it with you.

YOU can have the peace of mind you have always wanted. Believe in yourself and just follow what I am about to show you.

Follow it to the exact letter and I guarantee you will be on your way to a life filled with peace, positivity, vitality and connectivity.

These 3 barriers are STOPPING you from getting the life you’ve been longing for. It’s time to make a change.

I’ve created a NEW cutting-edge version of my practice, what I call 3-Minute Meditations. They are for beginners or folks short on time. They are super-short, super-simple, uncomplicated introductions to the art and science of meditation. With these breakthrough methods, you’ll be well on your way to getting all the benefits of meditation while sitting about 1/10th of the time of other programs.

3-Minute Meditations is guaranteed to lead you to incredible results if you practice daily. And the best part is it only takes 180 seconds a day.

3-Minute Meditations is built around 7 guided audio meditations/visualizations systematically utilized throughout the four weeks. These include Intentional, Oneness, Mantra, Forgiveness, Mindfulness, Heart & Healing meditations/visualizations.

With a simple, intentional, easy-to-implement practice, you’ll witness an increase in peace, joy & gratitude and a decrease in stress, anxiety & overwhelm in your life.

You Get All Of This…

Component 1:

The 3MM Book and 28-Day Challenge ($19 Value)

I’ve written a book called 3-Minute Meditations where I simplify and demystify the life-changing transformational technology of mediation and I’ve made it doable for everybody.

In this 32 page primer on the 2500 year old practice of meditation, you’re going to learn what meditation is, the 12 top effects you’ll experience, the 4 different types of brain waves and how to access them, as well as the 3 keys to success.

Within the book I’ve created a 28-Day Meditation Challenge where I ask you, the reader, to sit and meditate using the techniques I provide, for just 3 minutes a day for 28 days straight. That’s right you heard me correctly, just 3 minutes a day!

Sound like something you can do? I bet it does! And I’m quite confident that if you do, you’ll be hooked and you will be taking your first step on the journey of a lifetime.

If you’ve ever wanted to meditate, this is your opportunity to get in the game, my friend.

Component 2:

3-Minute Meditations “Done-For-You” Audio Accelerator Package

Get Even FASTER RESULTS! ($27 Value)

Because you have chosen to take action today, your order includes 9 follow-along, guided AUDIO meditations, which are systematically practiced during the 28-day meditation challenge contained within the 3-Minute Meditations book. These are quick and easy audios with relaxing, soothing music in the background. They include Intentional, Oneness, Contemplative, Existential, Mantra, Forgiveness, Mindfulness, Heart & Healing meditations/visualizations.

You can download them as mp3s so you can listen to them anywhere… at home, in your car, when you’re on a run, or in between getting your coffee and getting to the office. All you have to do is push play and get in the flow!

Component 3:

Joyful Living Journal ($19 Value)

In component 3, the Joyful Living Journal, you’ll have the opportunity to consciously cultivate more gratitude and joy in your life over the course of 28 Days.

This is the perfect companion to the 28-Day meditation challenge you’ll go through in the 3-Minute Meditations book.

Each day I will provide you with 2 thought-provoking questions for you to ponder and write about.

All of this is done to afford you the opportunity to get to know YOU better than you ever imagined. From this space of self-awareness, you will be better able to begin living a joyful, grateful life.

BONUS 1:

Secrets For Meditation Success Videos ($27 Value)

When it comes to meditating, there are certain practices you can do BEFORE you begin that will greatly increase your chances of enjoying the experience. In these 2 videos Adam Michael Brewer gives you insider secrets for meditation success.

Video 1 – Finding your spot to meditate and relaxation exercises

Video 2 – How to sit to meditate

BONUS 2:

“Done For You” Meditation X(tended) Pack ($47 Value)

Ready to sit longer than 3 minutes? Then this is what you’re looking for.

An additional 10-guided audio meditations of extended lengths where Adam Michael Brewer leads you through four 5-minute Mindfulness Meditations, three Intentional Meditations (5 min, 10 min & 15 min) and three Oneness Meditations (5 min, 10 min & 15 min).

That’s an additional 2 HOURS worth of guided audio meditations!

Once the 28-Day Challenge is completed, THE RESULTS WILL BLOW YOUR MIND!

Be far more patient with your loved ones so that you can have a deep meaningful relationship with the people you care about most.

Feel comfortable in all situations so that you can go to all cocktail parties, social gatherings, banquets, meetings without feeling anxiety, sweaty palms and pitting out.

Have greater energy levels throughout the day so that you can be more productive at work, do the things you love doing, and just keep going and going and going.

Save money on a therapist or medications so that you can take the vacation you’ve always dreamed of, go to the restaurants you love, and save for your future.

Become less likely to suffer from anxiety attacks so that you can take full control of your life, dominate your path and become the best version of you ever!

AND MUCH MUCH MORE!

Just imagine enjoying all these benefits simply by sitting down and being still for

ONLY 3 MINUTES A DAY!

TESTIMONIALS

“Adam!!! I want to share my immense gratitude to you for sharing 3 Minute Meditations and the 28 Day Meditation Challenge. I have been meditating for years, but NEVER consistently. Now, by putting into practice a daily 3 minute meditation, I am able to meditate daily, sometimes multiple times daily, and often for longer amounts of time. Shifts in perspective, peace of mind, and HUGE new opportunities are entering my life… MIRACLES!

Meditation is such an important spiritual tool and I feel like you’ve given me such a huge gift. I’m forever grateful.…AMAZING!!! THANK YOU!!! I AM BBD!”

Beth Bloom

Los Angeles, CA

“3 Minute Meditations provided an easy to follow introduction to meditation. Adding three minutes of meditation to my routine has been relaxing, energizing, and grounding. It has become regular part of my day that I will enthusiastically continue.

I would highly recommend it for anyone looking for a systematic method of learning to implement daily meditation. Amazing how just three minutes of meditation can be so energizing! Ready to go workout! Thank you for including me, Adam!”

Julie R. Schulte, MA, CCC-A

Zionsville, Indiana

“Thank you Adam for giving me just what I needed to start a meditation practice. I have heard and read for years about the benefits of meditation, but always found excuses not to try, or would try and not stay consistent. When I read about the 3 minute format, I thought to myself, “now that’s something can do”. Within the first week I was naturally craving to sit longer, and am now meditating daily. Something I have always wanted to do for myself, I am now doing.

I have developed a daily ritual I look forward to which nourishes me. I truly see the value in developing this practice even more deeply, and you were just what I needed to get started. Thank you again! Namaste.”

Jennifer McKinney

Los Angeles, CA

“As a freelance television producer working sometimes 60+ hours a week while juggling my teenage daughter’s schedule and trying not to neglect my husband, my days are almost always stressful! So when Adam offered the 28-day-meditation challenge to sit for three minutes a day, I seized the opportunity to incorporate the practice into my life.

I am thrilled to report that during the challenge, I was better able to deal with tense situations and difficult people. My anxiety levels have most definitely dropped (see ya Xanax). Once the challenge ended, I have continued my practice and extended my meditation time. I would highly recommend Three Minute Meditations to anyone who is interested in exploring meditation but isn’t sure how to begin – the practice has truly added value to my life (and by extension, the lives I touch on a daily basis). Having Adam as my guide into this practice has been a real blessing, and I believe that his unique perspective and approach has the potential to so many people who, like me, find themselves overwhelmed by the demands of the multi-tasking, fast-paced world in which we live.”

Leslie Lindsey Ward

Santa Monica, CA

“The depth of my gratitude is simply boundless. Today was day 28 of the 28 day meditation challenge for me. I have practiced various forms of meditation, prayer, chanting since the mid to late 80’s and where I have always struggled was keeping a daily practice truly daily for more than a few weeks. The 3 minute meditations made it so easy for me to really commit this time. I love having the various guided meditations. I love setting my intention and creating a field of gratitude.

I have had more sustained peace and joy over the past 28 days than I can really ever remember. Or maybe simply I have come to know a greater depth of the peace and joy and gratitude and it stays with me throughout the day. When it doesn’t, I simply give myself the time to use the tools from this program to center myself again and come back to that attitude of gratitude. As I celebrate completing the 28 day challenge, I also look forward to sustaining my practice and continuing on the path of spiritual progress, health, healing and happiness.

I’ve heard it said that at the moment of commitment, the entire Universe conspires to assist you. My thanks to the Universe for bringing me to this program. Adam, this was exactly what I needed. Thank you!”

Dave Drezner

PA

“I recently finished my 28 day challenge and all I can say is how appreciative I am for having been given this most amazing gift. I feel so much calmer and more connected than I ever have. I have also been dealing with a lot of emotional turmoil lately – aging and ill parents that could send anyone into a tailspin, but with the tools Adam has provided, I have been able to keep calm, breathe and move forward without losing it!

Thank you Adam for blessing me with a gift I didn’t even know I needed or wanted. I am so grateful to have met you and I look forward to learning and growing with your guidance and support. I am actually going to do the challenge again using the guided meditation-excited to see where that takes me!!”

Kathy Donovan

Los Angeles, CA

“As a 46 year old trying to balance work and family life, I found the 3 minute meditation to be a great stress reliever. 3MM provides big impact for such a small commitment of time and is very easy to do. I recommend it for anyone who is looking to improve the quality of their lives.”

Dan Schuman

Cleveland, OH

“The 3 Minute Meditations book takes you thru a 28 day journey, enveloping the core of all things life has to offer, opening our minds into accepting all the goodness there is within ourselves and others. You can do these 3 minute meditations anywhere at anytime with ease. These 3 minutes a day can really change your life!”

Janae Brand

Marina Del Rey, CA

“Before I even go into my kitchen in the morning —before I enter the chaos and look at my schedule for the day, I stay in my room and do my 3 minutes of meditation and it just seems to get me focused for my day—it energizes me and makes me very positive and ready take on the challenge. I try very hard to do it again in the evening and it just helps me to breathe out all of the chaos of the day!!

Thank you Adam for helping me de-stress!!”

Leigh Ann Oberski

Toledo, OH

“I tried both morning and evening and found I prefer the evening/night. I do it as a part of getting ready for bed and I find it helps me relax, unwind and sleep happy. Thank you Adam!”

Jennifer Stump

Marina Del Rey, CA

“Due to my mommy and work schedule I have been using your 3-minute meditations in the morning, mid day or at night. Ideally the morning is best, but if it was a high intensity day, night is amazing to wind down with a 3MM. Mid day actually has been great for me too, if business just gets a lil hectic. It’s good to take that time to release and regroup.

My goal is to get it to the same time everyday as many days as possible. All in all its brilliant for me so far. Muah AMB!!! Thank you for this beautification!”

Shaina Fast

Los Angeles, CA

“I want to call your attention to Adam Michael Brewer. He has launched his ebook on meditation. The peace that is over this guy can only described as heaven sent. He is truly centered and has taught me through example how to ascend.

I can’t stress enough the benefits of meditation. It doesn’t take a lot of time and its not a difficult thing to do but his book will show you how. Please, please, hit him up and he’ll advise you how to join his group and obtain his book. – be blessed!!!”

Scott A. Williams

Los Angeles, CA

Biography

Hi, I’m Adam Michael Brewer; meditation guide, wellness coach and mind/body specialist. I live in Playa Del Rey, CA with my partner Liz and our son Skye. Simply put, meditation has been the greatest gift I have ever given myself. In short, it was a serious Game-Changer. It found it’s way into my life back in 2003 at a time when I desperately needed to find solid ground in my life.

I’ve been practicing meditation for the last 15 years and have been teaching it to others for the last 3 years. I can’t wait to share it with you too. Very soon you will learn the secret to living with more joy, peace of mind and greater vitality than you’ve ever imagined.

PRICING

What are you waiting for? You’ve come this far and you’re just one click away from experiencing this life-changing program!

Learn More

Q & A’s

Q. Will this program work if I’m in my 40’s and 50’s?A. Yes, the beautiful part about this program is that it works at any age.

Q. I’ve been meditating for years, just not consistently. Will this be for me? A. YES!!! The real benefits of meditation are felt and experienced through daily meditation. I intentionally picked a length of time for the meditation that anyone can fit into their days, whether you’ve been at this before, but it didn’t stick or this is your first time.

Q. What if I already have a consistent meditation practice? A. That is completely fine. Consider this another option for when you are time crunched… kind of like meditation-to-go!

Q. I’m not religious. Does this technique have any particular religious affiliation? A. This practice is not affiliated with any religion. It is for anyone… whether you’re religious, spiritual or anywhere in between.

Q. Is 3 minutes of meditation really enough to get results?A. Absolutely!!! Just look at some of the testimonials to hear about the results people got whether or not they had meditated before or had never tried it. The best part about it being 3 minutes is that it allows you to create a HABIT. What most people experience is that they eventually, if not very quickly, love the feeling and they naturally want to sit longer. 🙂

[thesuperpainter]

The Best Strategy To Use For How To Refinish Cabinets Like A Pro - Hgtv

Table of ContentsThe Greatest Guide To Fastest Way To Paint Kitchen Cabinets: The Ultimate HackThe 6-Minute Rule for What Type Of Sherwin Williams Paint Is Best For Kitchen ...The smart Trick of Tips For Prepping Cabinets For Paint - Dengarden That Nobody is Discussing

We don't assume Sherlock Holmes himself might inform, despite his nose an inch away from them. Hurrah! As I discussed below, the three various other retrofitted doors are tad much less than best - painting cabinetry. By this I suggest if you look at them from an inch away for five mins (bobbing your head back as well as forth to capture the light bouncing off of them) two out of 10 people might notice a small seam.

See exactly how it's nearly impossible to pick up from away But when you obtain extremely close and also the light hits it simply the proper way you may be able to catch a super refined straight line? Face to face it's so undetectable that we can not choose if it's worth doing anything around, but we'll keep you posted if we decide to sand them one even more time and also use some kind of buildable guide and a few more coats of paint to with any luck make them as best as the 2 edge cupboard doors are.

John's completely my hero for determining just how to construct in the refrigerator like that. Mah man. Oh my gosh, can you even think that area looked like this last December when we relocated in? In instance you can't tell, it's hard for me to cover my mind around that.

Right here's the opposite of Dark City: And also the exact same view since I'm the Mayor of BrightVille! Certainly there's still tons to do, like hang our backsplash tile include floating racks & a variety hood remodel all the lighting (2 necklace lights over the peninsula + inset lights in the cooking area) mount our mocha cork floors (can not wait to stabilize out the illumination with some abundant comparison!) install the new dishwasher add quarter-round and crown molding perhaps tweak our stools (we're waiting for the space to take shape a bit more) yet it's absolutely progression. cabinet painters san antonio.

Get This Report on Expert Tips On Painting Kitchen Cabinets - Apartment Therapy

So who will start a cupboard painting adventure of their actual own? I hope this blog post filled with information (as well as particularly that little video we whipped up) can be found in handy! Have a good time and also do not neglect to make up words (might I recommend putty brush?). painting cabinets white. Psst Wan na understand where we got something in our house or what paint colors we utilized? Simply click this switch:.

This web site utilizes cookies to enhance your experience. We'll assume you're alright with this, however you can opt-out if you wish.Accept Personal Privacy & Cookies Plan Your kitchen most likely serves.

as a centerpiece of your Naples, Florida-area home. It garners constant traffic and usage, in addition to the damage that comes with it. Kitchen area improvements tend to be pricey, however a fairly very easy and low-cost transformation option can be accomplished by repainting your kitchen area cupboards. Every step taken prior to using that initial coat of paint will certainly impact the final outcome. With this in mind, ensure that you think about these necessary preparation factors: Typical wall surface paint and also typical guides are not proper for kitchen cabinetry. You will likely want to use an oil-based guide to make sure the finest paint adhesion as well as will require a durable paint that provides a smooth finish and also will remain simple to cleanse for several years. High-grade guides additionally guarantee smooth and also long lasting finish. Speak with your paint specialist provider about what primer and paint will certainly function best for your details kitchen cabinetry. This set is totally a matter of preference, but whatever cabinet shade you pick can either improve, overwhelm, or totally encounter the appliance shades and also various other kitchen features. If you're thinking about other shades, you must test them by utilizing a scheme device to contrast the potential colors with your main home appliances and major cooking area features. For the smoothest coating, cabinet doors as well as drawers should be painted while lying flat as opposed to vertical. Utilize a drying rack that has the least points or prongs required to hold the doors and also drawers in position. Consider attaching cup-holder hooks to the leading sides of.

the doors so they can be hung for over night drying out nevertheless sides have been repainted. Whether hinge, screw, handle or an additional item, getting rid of closet equipment makes certain a smooth application of what will certainly be the underlying paint. Ensure that you maintain the equipment organized to ensure that every one of the pieces are returned to their initial positions. Your cooking area cabinetry possibly experiences one of the most use any set storage room in your house.

The 25-Second Trick For Cabinet Painting Colleyville: I Want To Paint My Cabinets ...

They are likely altered by years of fingerprints, airborne grease, as well as any type of other results of food preparation and also food prep work. Simply put, your cabinetry requires some significant cleansing as well as degreasing to make sure correct as well as smooth attachment of the brand-new primer and also paint.

If you live in the Waxhaw area of North Carolina, go to our website at Top Waxhaw, NC Cabinet Painting or you can text us pictures of your cabinets to (704)931-8438. We will send you a quote within hours.