#phoenix's savior complex hurts me

[aceof-stars]

Is it just me or is this piece of advice from Mia, "for a lawyer, the worst of times are when you have to force your biggest smiles", really sad?

Don't get me wrong, there's nothing inherently sad about it. I get that it's about not giving up, pushing through impossible odds and rock bottom for your client. Because for most people, being a lawyer is a just a profession.

But for someone like Phoenix? Someone who hides their pain behind saving others, who never talks about their trauma, who (subconsciously or not) considers being a lawyer not just a job but their entire identity...? All of a sudden, Mia's advice isn't just about the courtroom anymore, because for Phoenix being a lawyer was always about being good enough and able to save people. To Phoenix, Mia's advice is about pretending you're fine, not letting anyone see how you truly feel or else you can't save anyone.

[periwinkla]

Phoenix - Godot parallels

I've been replaying T&T and I gotta say, the parallels between Phoenix and Godot are uncanny. The most glaring resemblance is that they're both so presumptuously convinced that they are the only ones who can and should have the responsability of saving the people they love. Note also that their Japanese names, interestingly, both reference dragons - Ryuuchi and Souryuu respectively - but they do so in reverse : the first kanji for Phoenix and the last for Godot. Godot wakes up after 5 years and learns that the love of his life was killed. He couldn't do anything about it because he was poisoned and thus out of commission. Then he learns that said love of his life had taken on a protégé, and he also learns that the lovesick idiot willingly swalled the same poison that put him into a coma, and was swimmingly fine. He is so pissed at the guy. Also envious. Phoenix was there. Why couldn't he be there instead? Why did the poison put him into a coma, and not that stupid lovesick fool? He twistedly but most furiously hates the guy. Thus he crawls back from the deepest depths of hell. But he knows, deep down, that the one he really hates is himself (not that he could have done anything about it, even if he had not been in a coma - but feelings are hardly logical) Something Phoenix and Godot share is that twisted savior complex. Godot thinks he should have been the one to save Mia, Phoenix becomes a defense attorney because he thinks he is the only one who can save Miles, the only one who understands him (and then it's a slippery slope to wanting to save everyone ever, but that's beside the point). Both are quite presumptuous in these assertions. But Phoenix was able to save Miles (in a way he hadn't expected) - Godot couldn't save Mia. If Phoenix hadn't been able to save him, would he have ended up the same as Godot did? Remember, if he hadn't won that trial, Miles would have faced the death penalty. So, if the poison had worked and he was out of commission for 5 years, he would have been too late. If you think about it, we had a glimpse of what Phoenix would have been like. When he thought Miles was dead, he snapped at Maya and told her not to speak his name in front of him ever again. He was also quite depressed for those months and refused to take on cases at first, cases of possibly innocent people who needed him. And when Miles came back, he snapped at Miles too. Which leads me to my last point: Both Godot and Phoenix resort to anger as soon as they're hurt as their form of dealing with grief. They are so similar. One was just less lucky that the other. Also by this logic you could say that miego is basically narumitsu with a bad ending, which makes me cry so hard darnit edit: it's also fun to note that they both went crazy over someone they knew for less than a year. People call Phoenix ridiculous but Godot is basically the same kind of ridiculous

[nyaagolor]

I think my biggest ace attorney hot take is that Kristoph’s black psyche locks not being broken was the best possible decision Takumi could have made

Phoenix trusts people, that’s his whole thing, but i think more importantly he trusts in the truth— that if he can just find that truth and put all the cards down on the table that things will be ok. We see in so many instances that his deeply ingrained savior complex and pursuit of truth often comes back to bite him and hurt himself and others. So honestly, him seeing Kristoph having black psyche locks and being able to accept that he doesn’t have to break them is such a vital step in his character to me

Phoenix doesn’t need the entire truth anymore— he doesn’t need to figure out what makes Kristoph tick. Time and time again Phoenix will not stop until all the dirty laundry is hung out to dry, until he knows the why’s and how’s and everything in between— but for once, with Kristoph, he doesn’t. Kristoph hurt people, and to him, that’s enough

[theyhavemagic]

how phoenix feels when miles chooses death

so when miles comes back in jfa, phoenix is mad at him. he feels betrayed and he says he thinks that miles did it because his perfect record had been broken. but i think it's more complicated than that. phoenix clearly blamed himself after miles's "death", especially with his savior's complex. when franziska blames him for miles's disappearance, phoenix is at loss for words. it really hurts him. having gone that far for miles, having changed his whole career path, his whole life just to see miles again and save him, having actually saved him from a guilty verdict in court, having saved him from his nightmares in which he had believed for 15 years that he'd killed his own dad... after all of that, phoenix just couldn't handle the thought that he'd actually failed to save him. he felt betrayed, of course, because he'd done so much for miles and miles left him. and then turned out to be alive which meant that he didn't even bother to contact him to let him know he was, in fact, not dead. so phoenix had every right to be mad at miles, but i think that much of his anger for miles was actually his surpassed anger for himself because he felt he had failed to save miles. I feel like phoenix just had to come up with a petty reason for miles's "death" so he wouldn't feel that guilty and heartbroken. because he always saw the true miles. he always saw good in him. he'd seen him starting to change, helping phoenix, fighting for the truth. no way phoenix would've just genuinely believed that miles did it because of the ruined perfect record. it just feels implausible to me. and even if phoenix partly believed in that petty reason he made up. that still meant that phoenix was essentially the one who was guilty of breaking miles's perfect record and leading him to "death". phoenix became a lawyer to save miles. he couldn't handle the thought that he failed to save him and possibly even led him to death. that's why he was so angry at himself he became so angry at miles. it wasn't just about the betrayal but also about his own guilt.

[novastrae]

study. decima playlist. god complex - violent vira.

summary. *subjects u all to my worms*

a play-by-play analysis on how it applies to decima. tw's for: mental health issues / ptsd / mentions of self harm (but not horrifically detailed) / suicidal ideation.

i wanna be the true savior // the one with the terrible demise || i wanna be the messiah, pariah // the one who never dies.

as @entwinedreams described one of their muses and decima, decima is considered one of the "undying saintesses of khaenri'ah," alongside marianne (@cursedcrest) as they are seen of one of the last beacons of hope, along with dain, marianne, and the prince. decima has engrained in their head that they HAVE to get revenge for the cataclysm, even if it means dying over and over and being subjected to the phoenix curse of immortality.

i wanna be your true love // yes and the only one // you could cry to all the time.

on one hand, you could say this is a toxic thing of decima. however, i raise you this ; decima's self-imposed centuries of isolation was arguably as devastating as ei's, but rather out of grief, it's to prevent grieving. decima never properly learned how to be a lover, and how to accept people loving them. decima wants to be loved and to love, but they're terrified of losing people, so they want as much time as possible with their lover as possible before they inevitably die.

i could just be who you need // darling won't you just plead // or should i begin to bleed?

decima wants to be cared for the way they care for others. they love and love and love with their whole heart, without being provoked, and yet they are terrified of not being loved. so decima will change themself for who they love, even if it means bleeding out. decima craves to be wanted - decima craves to be desired.

could also be seen as literally "should i begin to bleed?" because decima (self harm tw) is numb to most pain at this point, to the point they can scratch their skin raw and purposefully get injured and not feel much of it, as if they can bleed on cue.

god i could try // to be the one.

see above.

i'll tear down this sky // what do you want // i'll do it all // for life // for love // my alibi // tonight // tonight i'll try to do it for you

decima would destroy an army if it's what their lover wants. however, decima would also destroy said army for the sake of their lover's safety. decima is, after all, technically trained to kill efficiently.

i wanna be the white angel // the one with two billion of eyes.

biblically accurate angel. decima just wants to die - they want to feel the loving embrace of death, in fact, they crave it. but because of the curse, they can't die - not permanently anyway.

i wanna be like a fly on the wall // to watch you until you die.

see: "i could just be who you need." in addendum, decima will inevitably live to see their partner(s) die. a perpetual reincarnation of their lover, and decima is tortured to watch it over and over.

i'm gonna be where you are // doesn't matter how far // because we are meant to be.

perpetual reincarnation, once again. no matter how much decima tries to die, or get hurt, or isolate themself, they'll see their lover in every life their lover lives, and it hurts. it hurts and they can't stand the idea of seeing their lover reincarnated but fall for someone else because it hurts that they can't be reincarnated every life for them.

i could just be who you need // darling please worship me // or would you prefer to bleed?

see above

[lunarfly-studios]

💘 for Eve, Kit, Persephone, Brooklyn and Marian respectively

AH YES THIS IS A GOOD ONE

We're gonna hide this under a 'keep reading' since there's five characters so it's gonna be a little long

💘 HEART WITH ARROW — what and/or who do(es) your oc consider the most important to them?

Evelyn "Eve" Moon (They/Them)

Eve is relatively very easy-going, but also got hit hard with the clinical depression stick. They have things that make them happy, and that they like doing, but there's little drive or passion behind most of what they do beyond 'gotta get that dopamine'.

This is both a symptom of their clinical depression, but also completely intentional as a means of drastically deafening their clairvoyant abilities; 'Less passion, less strength to my powers, lower likelihood of me letting the power go to my head and hurting someone'.

So truthly, there aren't a lot of things that truly matter to them.

The one thing that they can say with absolute certainty that means the world to them is their family, whether by blood or the friends they've decided are family to them.

Although Eve doesn't have any strong goals in life rn and is mostly just vibing, the happiness and wellbeing of their friends and family means everything to them and they'll go above and beyond to help them achieve their goals and lead happy, healthy lives.

When they get out of bed.

Katherine "Kit" Price (She/They)

Imagine if Imposter's Syndrome and a Savior Complex had a baby, and that's Kit in a nutshell.

Kit has been put into an incredibly fortunate position of having inherited a massive amount of wealth from her deceased grandparents and her retired father. It's given her a great deal of personal freedom, but also a great deal of responsibility.

Her biggest pet peeve, since the beginning of time, has been the obscenely wealthy killing the environment and hurting the middle/lower classes on the alter of "Ah'm just buildin' the economy", and her new position has granted her a significant amount of influence and opportunities to make positive change.

She's a firm believer that those in power, with wealth and influence, should use their positions to better the lives of the less fortunate, those who have less.

But most days, it feels like she's alone in that thought process against the culture of hoarding wealth among Elite circles.

As such, one of her biggest drives in life, what matters to her more than anything else, is her ability to help others, and her ability to restrict herself from letting her wealth and power go to her head.

If the wealthy are invincible in America, then she's putting her shield of immunity over those who need it compared to her. She's gotten used to hearing someone's problem and being able to come up with a solution, whether monetarily or talking to the right people or just coming up with a solid game-plan.

She's constantly striving to improve the lives of those around her, both for their sake and her own. No matter how many lives she changes for the better, it never feels like she's doing enough; like she's giving enough back to the community to justify her obscene wealth.

(Skipping Percy cause she's an underdeveloped character and her story is a wip, apologies)

Brooklyn Gonzalez

Aside from the safety and security of what little family he has left, his friends, and his community, his spirituality is probably one of the most significant aspects of his life.

Brooklyn is a deeply devout Christian man - specifically Presbyterian - and his relationship with God is extremely important to him. He spends every Sunday morning at church, studies the Bible at least every other day, and can often be overheard praying during a stressful situation.

His relationship with God makes him feel secure and safe, able to take on anything and anyone and come out of it alright. In his perspective, he truly believes that as long as he holds God in his heart, he's never really alone.

Marian "Anne" Phoenix

Girl's just trying to survive, lbr.

After her connections with her family and her Jewish faith, her recovery and mental health journey is probably what's most important to her at the moment.

At this point in her life, everything in her life needs to be catered towards that goal of feeling okay about herself; learning to love herself, learning to leave the ugly past behind her and move on.

That's half the reason she became a Dreamwalker. The other half was "I'm the only one who can", but she will fully admit that her agreement to becoming a Dreamwalker and battling dream demons was primarily self-motivated.

[wildfey]

It punches me emotionally that Phoenix either doesn't have motivation on his own or that he lets motivations inspired by other people push away things he likes, like his art degree. There's so much issues to unttangle there, like lacking direction in his life, depression, self-worth issues, identity, and so on. Also, for Kristoph's trap, it's possible that Phoenix just. Wasn't surprised that it happened. Even without potentially disassociating, he's eeriely calm.

(continued) Like Phoenix seemed to expect it could happen that he was set up. It would have been possible to prove his innocence. He didn't. Did he fear only more attacks against him would follow?

ooh, now this is a deeply fun ask to get on my day off, thank you very much anon.

I'm gonna assume this is a reference to this post where I did some tag rambling, so I'll continue some thoughts from there.

100% agree in regards to motivation. Trilogy Phoenix is fascinating to me, I know Takumi said that Phoenix tends to be something of a self-insert for the player, as the "detective" in a mystery plot he's there to solve, not act. But when you take away that doylist perspective, and go inside the text to look at him as a character, things get interesting.

The way I always saw it, the Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney games aren't really about Phoenix Wright. AA1 dedicates its largest and most significant character arc to Edgeworth, AA2 mostly has Phoenix being pushed through cases by others (all the games do this but it's really noticable in AA2) and AA3 finishes the Fey family's 3-game arc, which is more about Mia and Maya. Phoenix has very little backstory, and very few personal goals, but that's complemented by the fact that Phoenix's characterisation explains why. His motivations, his sense of self, identity, etc. all seem to exist as projections from other people. He's Edgeworth & Larry's friend because they saved him, he becomes a defence attorney because of Edgeworth's childhood beliefs, and the turnabout terror because he's emulating Mia (this is so obvious that Godot points it out). He dates Dahlia because she tells him he's her boyfriend now, his friendship with Maya begins because Mia told her to take care of him, he's Trucy's father because she casts him in the role... this is a repeated pattern for pre 7yg Phoenix. Even in terms of one of his strongest trilogy motivations - saving Edgeworth - he's still to some extent repeating the pattern that Edgeworth unknowingly set at 9 years old.

And when there aren't people around... well that's when the inverse kicks in. When Maya isn't around, Phoenix won't take cases for months (this... has always sounded like depression to me, and I think there's a really good argument for Phoenix having some form of depression. It's how I tend to write him.) He talks about Trucy "being his light", and implies that without her, he would have given up post-disbarment. Phoenix has a VERY obvious savior complex, and it's repeatedly taken advantage of; he defines his worth by how good he is at rescuing others. Examples of this off the top of my head include apologising to Lana for not fully aquiting her when she very much did commit a crime, how upset he is during AA2 because he tried to save Edgeworth and couldn't (even though it's clear that Edgeworth needed to save himself), and wanting to defend Iris even though for all he knows, she's his evil ex (at the point he decides to defend her, he has 0 evidence this isn't the same woman who tried to kill him.) But when it comes to himself? Well, he can get injured or threatened (and he does! a lot!) but Phoenix will NEVER defend himself in the same way he does other people (there's a whole tangent I could go into about how he's a very non-violent character and the few instances in the series where he's physically violent are extremly indicative of this protective streak. But I digress).

So we come to the Zak Gramarye case - Why doesn't Phoenix react? Well, he does. But to defend Zak, not himself. I think this case would have been different if any assistant had been there, whether Maya, Ema, or Pearl, because they wouldn't have accepted it, would have taken it as a challenge to themselves, and by extention motivated Phoenix. But with Phoenix alone... he's only fighting for his client. And when his client disappears... well then, he'll take it passively (If Zak had stayed, would Phoenix have pulled a turnabout? Possibly, there may have been some way to fix the situation if he'd been motivated to do so. He's arguably fought worse.)

This is why the 7yg is deeply, deeeeeeply interesting to me as someone who loves to fill in character development, because the character development that happens in the 7yg changes basically all of this. By the time we see Phoenix again in 4-1, he has gained a decidedly selfish streak, he's out for... something, whether justice, vengeance or just stopping Kristoph from hurting people, Phoenix is finally has his own goals, and he's willing to do whatever it takes to succeed. (Thus comes the reversal, Phoenix is to Apollo in AA4 what other people were to Phoenix in the trilogy, though I'd argue that Apollo has a far better developed sense of self)

Would love to hear other peoples opinions on this one though (anon you are very welcome to come back and talk more, would love to hear ur opinions on Phoenix expecting to be set-up)

[angelofberlin2000]

In his 14 minutes of screentime in Always Be My Maybe, Netflix’s latest rom-com phenomenon, 54-year-old Keanu Reeves — now 30 years into his stardom — skewers and subverts the personas we’ve come to attach to him.

Reeves, playing an outsized version of himself, cuts an imposing figure in his introduction. Time slows to a crawl. All eyes gravitate toward the velvet-jacketed figure with striking beauty and prickly charisma. After his entrance — a show for everyone in the farcical restaurant Maximal — he slides toward Ali Wong’s celebrity chef Sasha, offering spiritual platitudes in the face of her unfettered lust. “I missed your thumbs,” she breathily exhales. “I missed your soul” is his reply.

It’s a maniacally delightful performance that both reminds audiences of Reeves’s place in Asian-American Hollywood history and allows him to flex improvisational skills as he cycles through the various masks we have grafted onto him. There’s the impossibly otherworldly Keanu, who says with utmost sincerity, “The only stars that matter are the ones that you see when you dream.” There’s action-star Keanu, who smashes a vase against his own head in a game of Icebreaker and easily puts the jealous protagonist, Marcus (Randall Park), in a headlock — fully committed, physically graceful, and beautifully dangerous. The Keanu of internet memes and viral threads is here, too, in the very fact that he’s playing himself.

Reeves is having a dynamite year with the success of Always Be My Maybe, the outrageously violent John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum, and Toy Story 4, in which he plays Canada’s greatest stunt driver, Duke Caboom. (Another sly nod perhaps? While born in Beirut, Reeves — who is of Chinese-Hawaiian and British ancestry — was raised in Toronto.) The actor’s more recent evolution into a meme may flatten his complexities, but it does signal why he has endured all this time, despite the persistent claim that he’s a bad actor, or just a limited one. As I’ve contended in the past, this is a gross misreading of a great actor. In her tremendous 2007 masterwork The Star Machine, film professor and historian Jeanine Basinger praises Reeves amongst his generational contemporaries: “Reeves is a neo-star fighting the concept of stardom itself, working steadily against persona to the point where no one has a clear idea of who Reeves is onscreen anymore. This has hurt him, but it has also allowed him to maintain versatility that means more to him than fame. […] His career would have been limited, and thus short lived. Instead, he has used his freedom to move on and slowly force audiences to accept him as a real actor.”

  Just take a look at the arc of his career — as a teenager going through an existential crisis in the blackhearted wonder River’s Edge (1986); the affably dimwitted Theodore “Ted” Logan from Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989) and its sequel; the bodaciously supple and yearning FBI agent and surfer Johnny Utah in Point Break (1991); a bruisingly courteous SWAT officer in Speed (1994); the beatific savior Neo in The Matrix (1999);  the violent redneck in The Gift (2000); an occult detective radiating self-loathing and suicidal yearnings in Constantine (2005); and of course, the titular tenderhearted and violently dangerous assassin of the John Wick franchise. In looking at all of his performances, I am reminded of what the great Roger Ebert wrote in his review of the Bill & Ted sequel back in the early ‘90s: “I have seen Keanu Reeves in vastly different roles (the FBI man in the current Point Break, for example), and am a little astonished by the range of these performances.”

Throughout his career, Reeves has eschewed obvious transformation in favor of something trickier and more subtle. What has allowed him to remain a star, 30 years later, is a blend of virility, vulnerability, and an aura of mystery, hearkening to a bygone era of stardom that contradicts the current moment, which requires stars to seem endlessly accessible; his sheer joy for the medium that makes him a cinematic sensualist; his racial dimensions as a star; and his gimlet-eyed understanding of the female gaze. These qualities are unique in the current market of stardom in Hollywood, allowing him to straddle various cinematic contexts with ease — mainstream romantic comedies, somber indie flicks, gloriously decadent action flicks.

They come through in one of his earliest films, My Own Private Idaho, a meditative character study about two young hustlers — Mike Waters (River Phoenix), a shy narcoleptic in search of a sense of home, and the strikingly beautiful Scott Favor (Reeves), a trust-fund kid slumming it until his inheritance kicks in at 21. Reeves and his late co-star imbue their characters with a particular mix of virility, vulnerability, and mystery. I’d argue that all the greatest leading men in the annals of Hollywood stardom have existed at this intersection to varying degrees — something I feel has been lacking from modern male stars, partially because they are being formed in franchises that lack interest in the visceral aspects of humanity. (It helps that Reeves has declined offers to join Marvel, even though they’ve been trying to woo him to their stable for years.) Humphrey Bogart’s cool is consistently undercut by his own anger and self-loathing. William Holden held something dark behind his megawatt smile and gleaming blond locks. Paul Newman always felt a touch remote, like he was hiding bruised aspects of himself from the audience. Marlon Brando, of course, epitomizes these qualities. Reeves is brimming with similar contradictions. He reflects this tradition by being at once beatifically still and emotionally expressive, defined by loneliness and a yearning to be saved from it.

In My Own Private Idaho, Reeves is the object of desire not only for Mike but the camera itself. Deep into the film, Mike timidly reveals his love to Scott while they camp out in the desert, a fire crackling before them. Phoenix plays Mike as wild with energy he has no real outlet for, leading to an awkward physicality. Reeves grants his character a languid brio. He takes up space, laying close to the fire, his head dipped back to study Mike as he timidly expresses his feelings. He’s outstretched, willowy, and aware of Mike’s gaze; he examines the weight of it. The scene reveals one of Reeves’s greatest skills as an actor: being an active listener. As he studies Mike, he invites and toys with his feelings. “I only have sex with a guy for money,” he notes offhandedly as if it were a random truth, not a response to a declaration of love. But just as the prickliness of his character comes into view (foreshadowing later betrayals), Reeves displays a burnishing sincerity. Arms outstretched, he says, “Let’s go to sleep,” and proceeds to cradle Mike.

The full-bodied listening Reeves exhibits in My Own Private Idaho is a hallmark of his work opposite women as well. Reeves is a great example of what Roswell New Mexico writer Alanna Bennett deemed The Look: “The number one thing a man in a romcom needs, TV or movie, is the ability to look at their love interest REALLY WELL. The man barely even needs to speak if he just knows how LOOK at a person.” Reeves has given that look in multiple contexts — his face is bright with awe when he looks at Carrie-Anne Moss’s Trinity in the Matrix films; it has a touch of admiration when he gazes at Sandra Bullock in Speed; and it is filled with unmitigated desire for Diane Keaton’s Erica Barry in Something’s Gotta Give.

Nancy Meyer’s 2003 ode to beachside property and an older woman’s sensual awakening stars Keaton as a successful playwright who finds herself falling for two very different men — Harry Sanborn (Jack Nicholson), who briefly dated her daughter (how this didn’t disqualify him immediately continues to baffle me) and has to go through a damn heart attack before he can see what’s attractive in a woman around his own age; and Julian Mercer (Reeves), a sweet doctor with a penchant for black turtlenecks who is immediately smitten when they meet.

In the film, Reeves is attuned to the female gaze in its most literal incarnation — an understanding of how women see the world, what they want from it, and how they make sense of desire. During a dinner scene with Julian, Erica’s face and neck are flush. She’s skittish and nervous in the face of his undeniable — but never disrespectful — sexual and romantic interest. Reeves’s face shows the depth and breadth of The Look, as he glides from teasing lust to a spark of genuine intellectual attraction. At one point, when their conversations turns to women his own age, he says, “I’ve never met one I’ve reacted to” — stumbling for a moment, as if shocked by the depth of his own feeling — “… quite like this. When something happens to you that hasn’t happened before, don’t you have to at least find out what it is?” He’s a man overcome and humbled by his own desire. Is there anything sexier? Then he leans in, his face going soft, gently kissing the groove where her neck meets her shoulder. “I knew you’d smell good,” he whispers. Only Reeves could pull off a line like that.

Many actors of Reeves’s caliber are too invested in being in the spotlight of a scene to play a romantic lead like this. After the fall of the studio system in the 1960s, Hollywood no longer looked at women as a viable market, and while romantic comedies continued to get made, going forward, there was a notable shift in whose desire was centered — and how little male actors seemed interested in exploring romance and desire. Reeves’s willingness brought another layer of intimacy to his relationship with his audience, offering a more flexible, vulnerable portrait of masculinity that sets him apart from other name stars.

That intimacy is key to Reeves’s longevity. It’s what makes him such a great cinematic sensualist. In 2009, Matt Zoller Seitz argued that directors Michael Mann, Terrence Malick, David Lynch, Wong Kar-wai, and Hou Hsiao-hsien were the “the decade’s best sensualists filmmakers.” He wrote, “They share a defining trait: a lyrical gift for showing life in the moment, for capturing experience as it happens and as we remember it. The sensualists are bored with dramatic housekeeping. They’re interested in sensations and emotions, occurrences and memories of occurrences.” I’d argue that being a cinematic sensualist is a distinction that can apply to acting as well. For actors, it is about bringing texture and complication to a film, existing wholly in the moment, and a keen interest in the human body.

When we watch films, the body keeps score as much as the mind does. Reeves demonstrates an understanding of this. This is apparent in the delicate neck kiss in Something’s Gotta Give; the careful way his hand skitters across broken glass before deciding on which shard to slit his wrists with in Constantine; the calm he engenders with merely the sound of his voice in Thumbsucker. But it’s most impactful in his career as an action star. In many ways, the John Wick franchise is the perfect marriage of director and star. The third film is a tactile feast. Consider a scene early in John Wick 3, in which Reeves methodically takes apart and reassembles a gun for a single shot. This scene is, of course, a testament to the character’s skill as an assassin. But it also acts as a reminder of how out of step John is with the world around him, betraying a desire for the quieter moments in life — despite the brutal milieu he finds himself in — and a strange empathy for the world around him, whether it be object or animal. This allows a humanity to glitter throughout his performances that often feels absent from many action franchises that sacrifice character on the altar of plot.

There’s another part of Reeves’s star image I suspect has played into our abiding fascination with him. Until Always Be My Maybe, the most under-discussed part of Reeves’s persona was his race. Late in his slim but potent book-length essay Mixed-Race Superman: Keanu, Obama, and Multicultural Experience, Will Harris astutely writes about a particular aspect of the 2005 film A Scanner Darkly that, metatextually, speaks to Reeves’s whole career:

“To be mixed-race is to exist in a state of paradox. Race is an illusion that depends on purity and singleness. […] In A Scanner Darkly, set in a paranoid surveillance state in the near-future, Keanu plays a government agent called Bob Arctor, who because he works undercover, has to wear a ‘scramble suit’ in the office. The suit projecting 1.5 million constantly shifting representations of different people — male and female, black, white, Latinx — keeps his identity cloaked. Even the people he works with have no idea who he is.”

Like his persona, Reeves’s face itself is considered unplaceable. Growing up, he never read as white to me, but he has read that way to Hollywood, which allowed his career to be mutable in ways that very few people of color ever experience. But for much of the moviegoing audience, seeing his face has always been a point of connection. It’s the undercurrent of why his turn in Always Be My Maybe felt like such a significant moment in his career. It was as though something had been revealed about him for the first time, even though it had been present all along. That it was such a joyful, brazenly comedic role added yet another twist on his image. There was a sense that, even after 30 years in the spotlight, Reeves can still surprise us.

[serendipit0us]

His Story

Hello, my name is…well my name really doesn’t matter because this little story is how true love had finally found its way into my life. Love touches everyone and I had thought I had felt it, but I was wrong. Of course, that was all before I met her. The beginning of this was a funny journey of saying, “I like like you.” to friends in grade school and seeing if they responded to your notes during class. Slowly I had my first glimpse of what relationships were when I had taken that step with a close friend. It was something our young minds wanted to see how it was. I mean we both knew each other for years and always connected, so why not take that plunge to dating? Of course sometimes it’s not that easy. She and I had to end our relationship and it did hurt, but I would only grow from the chance to be with my best friend.

Finally, I hit High School and I had my other encounter with what I thought love was. This time I took the plunge and had tried to talk to someone I found attractive. The thought of having that classmate you notice out of everyone else you thought, “Maybe they will say yes.” After much debate with my friends and my own personal thoughts, I ended up going and taking that terrifying step of asking a girl out on a date. Yes was the answer and I felt that butterfly in my stomach, and yet I was still excited and wanted more. She and I connected on that level I was unfamiliar with and had gotten to a whole new level.

However, like most people though, we don’t find that love at first sight and that mythical High School sweetheart we read about in social media or in the movies. And so, my first real relationship came to an end. Here as I was recovering from my broken heart and was just going through a dark time, I ended up running into one of my most recent relationships. She was my longest attempt at finding “love”. Looking back it was something I did without any real reason, just more of a “let’s see where this goes.” I will admit that during this time I made a lot of mistakes, but I grew more and more with every mistake I had made. At some point, though I made a turn for the worst, I started to make choices that would affect and distort my perception of love.

In a relationship, you’re supposed to commit yourself to that individual, but in my case with my ex, I had not. It started with little lies, then I hid more and more things. Not only did I make the choice to corrupt my mind and heart, but I also made the choice to lie to my friends and those around me. I eventually made a hole so deep that it was nearly impossible to get back out of. It got to a point where I lost the true meaning behind having a relationship and being in love. At the time, I was fooling myself thinking that I was just going with something that made me happy, but it wasn’t.

 When I thought this was what I was going to end up with because I had nothing better, something happened where I was given a second chance. But even that was a struggle for someone so lost like how I was. Being the incredibly lost and broken person I was, I brought myself to be unfaithful once again and dragged one more person into this volatile mix that was my life. The thing was that this person was her and she became the savior I needed to start healing. I had forced her into a position no one should be in, no matter what they had done and I regret it still to this day, but just like a phoenix I was somehow given a second chance at this elusive thing called love

 I went on a long and drawn out talk with my mind, soul, and heart. I slowly came to the realization on what I was given even after all that I have done and I decided to take it and commit my whole being to what saved me…her. I knew my heart and soul before I fully understood what hit me straight in the face. She was the reason why I have that love I’ve been searching for with all my other attempts. The kind of love where the world just becomes something totally different and filled with something new and exciting. Having her continue to stand with me has driven me to a level no else has even touched, let alone made me think could have existed.

Without her, I could not be standing where I am now. I am the person I’ve always wanted to be and always should have been, but never became until she came along. I bet you’re wondering why her? How did she cause all of this in such a short amount of time? What makes her different from everyone else that has influenced my heart before her? The answer to me is simple, yet complex and it’s true love. She showed me and made me feel it…no, feeling love isn’t enough, she made me live it. She is what my soul continues to use to drive itself to become its best over and over again. I get better and better the longer I stay with her not because I want to become the best, but because I was handed the best for me and I won’t let go of it now that I have found it. 

They say all kinds of different things when you find the one for you like,“don’t let them go” or “you will know when you find them”. For me, I am really grateful I did find her. I have found the one that I don’t feel anything but positivity and I know that I will end up with her no matter what the storm throws at us. She is the strength beyond lifting 1000lbs at the gym and more than saying the three magic words, “I love you.” She has taken me to something beyond all that. All I can say is that the end of time is waiting and we will meet it hand in hand because that is the only way I am ever going to lose her. She is my end goal, the fairytale story, and the good night kisses all in one. She is my true love embodied and I will stand with her till I am no more.

[aceof-stars]

Actually, “Feenie” Makes Perfect Sense as a Backstory for Phoenix (+ 3-1 Initial Thoughts)

I've decided to start a series where I record my thoughts and analysis as I play through the Ace Attorney games for the first time. I'll try to post these as soon as I finish a case so that my thoughts are fresh.

Phoenix Wright/"Feenie"

I've noticed critiques in this fandom that "Feenie" from Turnabout Memories is too different from Phoenix in the trilogy or that the backstory is poorly inserted. But, honestly I disagree. It's easy to treat Phoenix and Feenie as different people because of their different outfits and mannerisms, but I think the characterization is consistent (despite "Feenie" being exaggerated sometimes for comedic effect).

I've seen the fandom portray "Feenie" as a sweet pushover. But if anything, his belief is extremely stubborn and strong-willed. Phoenix believed in true love and fate which was why he accepts that necklace in the first place. He also never relents to Dahlia (or should I say Iris) when she asks for the necklace back.

He’s only able to be used and manipulated by Dahlia because his own goals and beliefs aligned with the facade she presented to him.

Phoenix literally shoves a guy so hard that he fell onto his back because he badmouthed Dahlia. I think one constant of Phoenix's character is that he cares too deeply and is protective over the people he loves.

There's also the part where Phoenix mocks Doug for being British? or wearing the British flag (I didn’t take a screenshot of it). “Feenie” is just as sassy and judgmental as Phoenix is. He might be a lot more naive and immature but he's still Phoenix.

Oh Phoenix... back when you believed in people saving you... before you bottled up your problems and refused to let anyone help you...

To be fair he is the defendant here but still. He doesn't ask for support after Edgeworth disappears, he doesn't ask for help at first when Maya is kidnapped.

I think, unfortunately, this incident with Dahlia is what kickstarted a lot of his trust and abandonment issues. His overwhelmingly strong belief and trust in Dahlia backfired in the worst way possible. It’s not a stretch that this made him too terrified of betrayal to open up to anyone in the trilogy.

So I know this is for comedic effect, but it’s also really good proof that Phoenix heavily idealizes the people he gets super attached to.

(Coughs in Edgeworth and Justice for All)

… I mean he’s not wrong! But he’s also being delusional

This is one of the first things Phoenix says after finding out he was betrayed. He doesn't spend much time acknowledging his feelings of hurt. He just goes into denial.

(COUGHS IN EDGEWORTH AND JUSTICE FOR ALL)

This is just further proof for me that Phoenix’s coping mechanisms are suppression and delusion.

And then Phoenix immediately he moves on to saving Edgeworth! He just shoves all that trauma aside to fixate on saving someone else... to cope by giving himself more control. Phoenix's savior complex stems from abandonment issues.

This trial doesn't give Phoenix the idea to save Edgeworth, it solidifies it.

After being reminded by Mia of his belief that a defense attorney saves people, Phoenix firmly sets himself on this path.

There it is. Phoenix says it himself... he suppressed these memories. That's why he never brought it up in the last two games. I know the real reason is because the creators didn’t plan it, but it also makes sense narratively.

I mean, Phoenix hides the class trial story until Turnabout Goodbyes. This man does not like to talk about his problems or trauma.

Mia Fey

Damn Mia is so brutal. Is this where Phoenix gets his sass from?

Mia is also not how I expected her to be. I mean whenever she gets channeled to help Phoenix out, she's in the role of the wise mentor. But here? She's a nervous wreck, cynical of romance, and full of trust issues.

Speaking of trust issues... I unfortunately did not take a screenshot of this but as soon as Mia finds out Phoenix has lying to her, she reacts very strongly with distrust. She also has to convince herself multiple times to trust in him again. Believing in people or trusting them doesn't seem to come easy to Mia. Which is super interesting because her advice is to always believe in your client. Maybe Mia eventually got used to trusting her clients but... she also never tells Phoenix about her investigation in Redd White. I don't think Mia is as trusting as she presents herself as.