#phos reminding ghost of lapis

[kabutone]

thinking about phos and cairngorm toxic “grieving by making you the partner i lost” and

[lunar1an]

Ghost as Phos: An Analysis

Now that HnK is done it's fascinating to go back and comb through the story beats and try to tie them together. In particular there's a really interesting pattern to notice in all of Phos's partners, or rather, a pattern break.

For the purpose of this post I'm considering Antarc, Ghost Quartz, Cairngorm, Padparadscha, and on a symbolic level Cinnabar* as partners. For the most part, they fill the following functions: they tutor or discipline Phos in some aspect, they're stabilizing forces that rein them in, and they all have some degree of care and love for Phos. Cinnabar repeatedly gives Phos advice, urging them to think through things more. Antarc genuinely believes in Phos's ability to do better, urging them to rise above their defeatist nature. Cairngorm, despite what Cairngorm says, seems to have genuinely wanted to protect the idiot who lost Ghost but gave them their first non-Ghost name. Padpa regards Phos like a little sibling they have to babysit, but still goes to great lengths to help them.

And then there's Ghost Quartz. Ghost is in a weird, kind of liminal place in the narrative. Ghost comes about at a time when Phos is arguably at their second lowest point -- without knowledge or a way forward, breaking down under the weight of isolation and their conspiracy. Ghost doesn't last long. In fact, they partner up with Phos for less than a day before sacrificing themself for them, leaving Cairngorm behind. But hey, a lot of these other partnerships don't last long either. Padpa only had one raid and then one rescue mission, and wasn't even an "official" partner so much as the one who took on the Phos babysitting responsibility.

But either way, Ghost was still a partner. I'd probably put the start of Ghost trying to fill that role after they thought Phos was trying to reach out to help them, up until their sacrifice. So. What do they do, as Phos's partner? How do they stabilize them?

Pictured: Ghost and Phos soon to start the worst mutual rebound in gem history

They try to get Phos to allow them to help, immediately, almost forcing the partnership onto them. They latch onto a false idea that Phos was trying to save them and say Phos reminds them of Lapis. They commiserate over feeling stupid and express a desire to change.

If anything, Ghost was a more passive, enabling personality. When Phos says they're researching Lunarian communication, Ghost tries to help, and later on doesn't stop them from investigating a large group of Lunarians.

In Ghost's mind, Phos seems to be placed as the competent, smart figure, who reached out to them and showed the bare minimum care for them.

Sounds a bit familiar, doesn't it?

The context is different, but there's more parallels elsewhere.

Ghost is a gem who hadn't appeared at all in the story, up until a mention in volume 4. They're seemingly absent from the daily social life of most gems. They aren't even present around Euclase or Lex when they deal with paperwork. The library, when we visit it, is a lonely, dark space. The convalescent chamber just has a bunch of inactive gems sitting in boxes. They confess to Phos that both of their jobs -- the library and the convalescent chamber -- are barely jobs at all.

There are two other gems we see with similar roles. The first is Phos themself at the beginning, who didn't have any job. The second is Cinnabar, who runs a pointless night patrol. Both of these gems are outcasts, and unsuited for gem society -- Phos is too brittle and weak, and Cinnabar is overflowing with mercury that forces them to isolate themself. Antarc is pushed to the sidelines as well, being liquid outside of winter, but they at least found a useful role and place in the world.

We know what makes Ghost "unusual", of course. There's a Gorm in there.

As Ghost's inner layer, they're troublesome and said to do surprising things, such as climbing on top of the concealed Lunarian to check for Lapis. Even before going to the moon Cairngorm had a notably rougher, bolder personality than Ghost.

So imagine how that plays out for every other gem, before Lapis. Imagine if Ghost is out on patrol, and they see a Lunarian. Cairngorm rushes in when they aren't supposed to, and someone gets hurt or taken because of it. You could draw parallels to how Phos, even after getting powerful legs, froze up when the Amethyst twins were captured instead of going to get Sensei.

Their nature makes them unsuited to fighting. It makes them troublesome to their fellow gems. Is it any surprise they were given the convalescent chamber job, which has little to no chance of Ghost's inner layer acting out and causing serious harm or inconvenience?

Lapis was the exception -- someone who didn't see their nature as a burden, who their inner layer actually listened to. And then Lapis was taken, leaving Ghost blaming their own nature for their incompetence.

Similarly, Antarc refused to let Phos blame their hardness for all of their woes, having a low hardness themself, and they did have a successful Winter partnership for a while. When Antarc gets taken away, Phos blames their own body and uncooperative arms for their inability to rescue them.

As an aside, this is all rough for Cairngorm too. Being stuck inside another gem, with that gem being the only one everyone else sees? Wanting different things and only really being able to express that through acting out? Only being known as something 'troublesome inside Ghost'?

It's fucked. Sensei and every other gem could have done better, to make sure Cairngorm's personhood was recognized. Instead, Ghost is left feeling shame and hate towards their inner layer, and Cairngorm ends up with an identity complex and feels haunted in a way that Aechmea later exploits.

Anyway. If you could say that Phos's partners parallel Antarc in role and behavior, Ghost turns it around. Ghost parallels Phos. They want Phos to be an Antarc/Lapis for them, because now that Phos is useful and strong, they're someone who can give Ghost a sense of being loved.

And at this time, Phos is very much trying to be an Antarc and not a Phos. Phos has a shorter haircut to better resemble Antarc, they take their lessons to heart and farther, overworking themself in an effort to be disciplined and useful.

This inversion is unsustainable. Phos isn't an Antarc or a Lapis. Antarc did all of that because of their love for Sensei and Phos. Well, not exactly love in Phos's case but there's a definite care and desire to protect them.

Phos acts like Antarc out of grief and suspicion. They go after the Lunarians relentlessly to get Antarc back. They continue acting "courageous" and overworking themself so they can find out what the connection between Sensei and the Lunarians is. They're given multiple warning signs that this search could harm those around them -- Padparadscha warns them about the truth, and Cinnabar practically goes "hey phos this sensei thing isn't fun i just want to spend time with you". Hell, Phos stops helping Ghost in order to see what Sensei will do.

(boy i sure hope phos learns from this experience and does not continue to neglect the gems around them while furthering the lunarians' goals)

It all comes to a head when Phos gets distracted and gets shot. Ghost has to jump in and save them, sacrificing themself in the process.

When Phos lost Antarc, there was some level of...lack of agency, I suppose? Phos was in the role of the mentee or younger sibling. They did something reckless, with their arms being lost as a result, but a lot of what happened was out of control. They couldn't have predicted the Lunarians emerging that day or trapping Sensei. They couldn't have predicted the metal would attach to them, and furthermore imprison them while Antarc was being taken. They were still "the useless one".

But now Phos is the Antarc. Ghost is supposed to be a gem they protect, like they protected the Amethyst twins by easily dispatching a Lunarian. They had every possible red flag telling them that messing with these Lunarians was a bad idea. But they didn't. They couldn't have predicted their alloy would stop working, but their negligence did lead to them being shot in the first place, and Ghost getting taken.

It's interesting in that while losing Ghost is a breaking point that leads to Phos's complete mental break shortly after (forcing Cairngorm into the Alloy Box), followed by them mellowing out at least a little bit (up until they lose their head protecting Cairngorm in a much more suitably 'Antarc' move), the harm Phos does to the gems only escalates.

As the useless child, a gem who chose to look after them gets lost. As the competent fighter, a gem they had a responsibility to look out for gets lost. As a wiser, older figure with Lapis's head (no longer the youngest gem, deliberately framed as a mentor for the younger Morga and Goshe), they have Cairngorm attack and send them to the moon, reigniting god knows how many traumas in Cairngorm, and making all the gems believe they're dead. As an important figurehead in the community, who's the only gem they know who came back from the moon, they shatter that community. And eventually, as the savior of gems dusted and alive from the Lunarians, their actions lead to the ultimate extinction of gems as a species.

So maybe Ghost was the first warning sign, on a lot of levels. A stand-in for Phos themself, or someone a lot like them. Like the story was practically screaming at Phos "hi, there's someone who understands your loss, another outcast who you can confide in, two of them even"!

But Phos let them be harmed in pursuit of their goals, goals they eventually lose sight of until it was too late.

Or alternatively Ichikawa just killed Ghost off because if they got attached to Actual Phos and not the Lapis 2 they projected onto them god knows where this series would have gone. This is the fucker who spends 10,000 years on the moon preserving every trace of the past/Lapis's legacy and Not Letting Go Of Their Attachment, from what Party at the End implies. If I were Aechmea I'd be terrified.

* = never officially a partner, but had the same function and role in Phos's life in the background, and is grouped with Phos's partners in the narrative (hangs with Antarc and Cairngorm on the moon, later seen on the same side of Sensei as Ghost and Antarc when being prayed away). I suppose in that regard Padpa isn't an official partner either really but they definitely acted as one.

[tama1313]

(HNK spoilers!) I may be biased because Ghost is my favourite but I have a theory why they decided to do that to Cairngorm.

If they only cared for Lapis and projected them over Phos, they didn't have to turn Cairn into Antarct. But they eventually did.

Why?

Well, Phos and Ghost has a lot in common: they both are "outcast" with difficulty at actually socialize (even if in different ways) and they both lose someone they deeply cared (the only gem they could connect with).

Therefore Ghost does not only project Lapis on Phos. They know what's feel ling being through something like this.

Therefore the whole plan to turn Cairn into Antarct in my opinion, was actually more a clumpsy tentative to preserve Phos from any further sorrow and avoid them to suffer like Ghost did (also sweet reminder that is not Ghost's fault if they were born like this and more than once in the manga is hinted that they trust Cairn and evel let them take control over their shared body)

Sure, what Ghost did was wrong but hey! We are in HNK, not in a Disney movie

This manga is full of morally gray characters with ambiguos morality (our beloved protagonist too) which's action are way worse than theirs, and yet I see Ghost getting a lot of hate

[sinneamon]

ghost/cairn saw lapis in phos  and phos saw antarc in cairn

but lapis and antarc probably wouldn’t have gotten along well

[houseki-no-suffering]

Pssst.... gush about some thing you’ve wanted to for so long but haven’t found the ask to do so! I really like reading your metas or off-the-wall posts.

aw ty!

mmmh usually i just crank out a random meta when i feel like it, which i havent had the energy to do in a while. so have a lot of hcs about gem language, gem society and how it resembles a totalitarian system cause why not, this is already a dystopia. 

goes from cute to shady real quick, have fun

Gem Vocabulary

gems have no gender, they dont age, they dont reproduce. the whole vocabulary about relationships, aging and sex must be completely different in gem language. they probably lack a lot of words we commonly use, and have unique words for things we dont have (like winter duty, patrol duty... i wouldnt be surprised if gem language had unique grammatical features for those)

this is one of the reasons why its so unfair of aechmea to call cairn ‘wife’ and ‘princess.’ the gems have no concept of wife-ness, we dont know if a gem equivalent of marriage exists, but its definitely much, much different from what the lunarians (and us) perceive as one.

do gems have anything akin coming of age? this could be weird bc gems can potentially live forever, but they can also be abducted by the lunarians at any time, so who’s to say how long a lustrous will live? how do you calculate being ‘of age’? is it by calculating the average life-span of a gem? 

how do they measure time and seasons? we know they have winter and summer and phos mentions ‘spring’ in chapter 20, but what about months and lunar phases? do they have words for that or are months just too small a timeframe for the immortal lustrous to utilize? how do they measure time? in hours and seconds? weeks? different units altogether?

Gem Relationships

similarly, gem relationships are codified in a completely different way. we know they have a concept of romance bc dia ships phos and shinsha and makes comments here and there about other gems being in love. 

at the same time, the relationships btw alexandrite and chrysoberyl, padpa and rutile, ghost/cairn and lapis etc are little different from ‘pure’ sibling/sibling relationships or senpai/kohai relationships.

this is not to say that they’re all romantic in nature, but the way they’re codified in canon (especially in the way the characters grief for their partner) makes me think that even if the gems have no blood/physical kinship with one another they have a very articulated system of establishing family bonds.

dia and bort are clearly siblings, but the same can’t be said, for example, for rutile and padpa, even if they were partners and even if they display a similar junior/senior relationship. this means that relationships are predicated on something else in hnk, and kinship, family and romance are all codified in a different way.

think of vulcans in star trek: physical contact such as two fingers touching, holding hands and kissing is unknown of (save for very specific circumstances). and vulcan people have a completely different way of expressing intimacy and romance than humans. 

this makes me think: just how many canonically romantic relationships are there in hnk (if any) that we’re simply unaware of bc the way gems codify and express romance is so different from ours? is romance even common? rare? perceived as weird? useless? 

what about other relationships? the gems use ‘little brother/ older brother’ but what if this is just japanese approximations? what kind of relationships can lustrous language really express and how different are they from ours?

Imagination

as @ruddy-rutile​ pointed out some time ago, the gems lack a concept of fantasy. thats why i posted that panel about alex’s original lunarian designs. sure, it’s funny, but it also makes you think: these gems are not raised to think outside the box and they can do it without being told so only under exceptional circumstances.

of the vast library of texts that ghost (and lapis) used to take care of, just how many are novels and fiction? none of them? a small amount? a decent amount? in a society thats as focused on practicality, efficiency and conservatism as the lustrous’, how is fiction perceived if perceived at all? 

is there art? red beryl’s craft comes very close to art when they express their feelings about ‘fashion for fashion’s sake,’ but it’s an exception that the other gems find hard to grasp.

phos is often told to stop fantasizing about the world and get things done, the only tale we know the gems are told is the actual story of how their world came to be. the gems always talk about real things, stuff that happened, and make and do things that have a practical use. 

even bort’s jellyfish diary is just made up of a recollection of what happened when they tried to feed them. still, the fact that bort names the jellyfish makes you think that these rocks do have potential for fantasy, theyre just not used to it

Totalitarianism and Privacy

to make this even more shady, here’s your gentle reminder that:

- gems’ rooms have no doors. the only door ive been able to find is the one in shinsha’s room (ch 2) and that is because shinsha’s room is closed off to other people and full of mercury. its like putting a patch on smth you dont want to deal with (much like shinsha’s whole character arc tbh)

- the gems have little to no free time. or their free time can be revoked any time in case an emergency occurs, sensei is napping etc. the gems’ time is rigorously managed by jade, euc and sensei. each gem has a place to be and a time to be.

this means that a missing gem can be found at all times and slackers can be identified very easily. they all have a job and they have to follow it. this is not to say that they have no fun ever, but leisure time is rare and (at least as far as we know) its not contemplated when tasks are assigned each day.

the mere fact that there is a morning assembly and tasks are assigned each day makes you think. is this communism? is this totalitarianism? but most importantly, is this a scary dystopia that hits you in the face like a brick the third time you reread ch 2?   

- sameness > equality. i already went over this in the past. gems society underlines sameness and conformity over anything else. the gems think theyre equal but theyre actually ‘similar.’

a system based on equality emphasizes differences so that every individual can do the best with what they have got and get back what they need, according to their personal needs. 

these gems emphasize sameness: everyone is upheld to the same standards, even when those standards dont match with a gem’s unique characteristics (ie phos cannot be a fighter, no reason to keep saying stuff like ‘if only you were stronger/you’re useless’ etc. they’re a rock with an imagination in a world where dull reality is the rule. just make them write theater plays and play with slugs with shinsha, wth)

It’s real 1984 hours:

all of the above means that:

- your sense of self is subordinated to the group. if you dont belong you’re simply a nothing. at times, the gems almost display a collective consciousness (a pretty hostile one too): everything must be decided together and done together

- you are what you do. gems identify completely with their job. thats why a job is so important, thats why this system is so fucked up. self worth is not inherent, it depends on what you can do. talk about a breeding ground for mental health issues 

- you dont have a saying in picking your career or deciding for you future. thats up to sensei (and maybe euc and jade). unless you have a very strong affinity with a certain task (like red beryl and alex)

- youre expected to follow orders all the damn time. no matter how much sensei wants his gems to exert free will, they still prefer to do what theyre told. ill admit, its much easier than taking your life in your hands and decide what youre gonna do with it, but damn if it isnt depressing. and childish

- euclase and sensei are the authority. sensei and euc are the powers that be. in the sense that they assign tasks, they decide on times and battle plans, on purpose etc. lets not forget that euc was the one to take on sensei’s role after he ‘resigned.’ 

i wonder what would happen if euc were abducted and the gems had no one to follow anymore, no orders. who’d be the new leader? would there be one? lets not forget that no matter how gentle euc is, phos is shit scared of them.

- thought police is a thing. to end this meta on what is probably the shadiest note: surveillance is a thing. the gems report on each other, it’s thought police, no sugarcoating this. 

there’s no privacy, no secrets. even antarc reads rutile’s diary. this goes from cute and childish (’you did this one wrong thing, im gonna tell sensei’) to absolutely fucked up (’you did this one wrong thing, im gonna tell sensei’)

[pinktatertots99]

request for astro on discord hnk channel i’m in. au where ghost’s fight ended...a little differently.

__________________

phos sighed as they laid their head on one of the nearby tables of the library, feeling the wave of sleep trying to drag them into it’s current. suddenly they felt a light smack on their head by a book.

“and what’re you doing here? lazing around on duty?”

“little one be nice now.”

looking up they found ghost trying to fix their bang, while their left half, dark and sneering at them glared down as their uncovered and covered arms crossed together. the dreaded feeling that made them sleepy came back as the left side growled. “be nice? look what they DID to us!”

“you, technically did it.” ghost mumbled as the half snapped back. “no thanks to you! honestly your lucky covering for them didn’t end in you joining lapis!”

“i’m...” both paused looking back at phos. “...really sorry...i should’ve, planned better.”

“your oka-”

“damn right you should’ve.”

“little one!”

phos groaned as they felt ghost’s hand petting them. “i mean really now, if your this sleepy i don’t want you planning anything.” their half stated as their hand was on their hip, ghost looking side eyed to them before nodding. “you do need sleep though phos.” they responded quietly as phos chuckled.

“i uh...dunno if i can.” they mumbled, a flash of a finger to lips made their gold spasm lightly. taking notice ghost’s body moved to the other side of the table. “little o-”

immediately phos felt themself dragged by their left half out of the seat and to one of the cushioned window seats of the library. watching the two in one gem sit they let themself get dragged onto their shared lap by the half’s strength for the most of it.

“i’m not going out there fighting with you again if you decide to pass out, and don’t trust you trying to alone cause there’s the chance you’ll lie bout it.” they stated as both hands they felt were gently petting their head. “now sleep already.”

“...hehe.” they chuckled as phos looked to them with a sleepy smile. “weren’t you getting on me for sleeping in the library?”

“moreso the table, now sleep already.” they replied putting their hand over the gem’s eyes as they smiled. “thanks...uh...wha...what did sensei give you as a name?”

“don’t remind me, i don’t even like that name.” they replied with a sigh. “....he named me cairngorm.”

“...i dunno, i think it’s kinda nice-”

“sleep!”

--------------------------------------------------

watching the turquoised gem finally resting both gems took a sigh as they watched.

“...i think...it’s a nice name too.” ghost mumbled as cairn rolled their eye. “course you would, you don’t have to share your name with another.” they grumbled as ghost gave a neutral smile.

“there are, other names related to us that sensei told us when we were younger.”

“you mean names for you.”

“it’s still the same, in a way.” they replied counting on their fingers that laid lightly on phos’s head. “phantom, smokey quartz-”

“phantom.” ghost paused side eyeing the other. “...i like that one more.” they smiled. “it fits you, i read that phantom’s are very dark figures that the species before us believed to be dangerous.”

“dangerous dark figure...” they watched their hand clench. “i like that...alot.”

“i can tell the others later.” ghost replied looking to phos. “i kinda...don’t want to interrupt them.”

“fine.” phantom sighed in annoyance as ghost giggled. “i know you wouldn’t want to either.”

“i’m not completely covered up by you.”

“no, but i’ve known you long enough to know when you care for someone too.”

“your just influencing me.”

“maybe.” they smiled as they watched phantom’s hand gently petting phos’s top part of their head as ghost played with their small tips gently, amused by their little one’s defiance as the sun on their shared back felt more delicious through the window.

[rin-chan32]

What comes around, comes around preview

Cinnabar treated them well, better than Phos ever treated them from ever since they knew them years ago. They lend their clothes to them and made them food every day and made sure that they were overall okay. The other day, the gem gave them phone numbers of all of their old friends so they could contact them while they were left at home until they got back. And thankfully enough, Phosphophyllite stepped their game up and started to treat them like a friend should - or at least like they should’ve through all of the years. They’d apologize for all of the things that they did wrongly towards them until they felt the weight off of their chest and they were cleared of the guilt. There were countless times where they remembered things that they did with other people and did it with Cinnabar in order to make them feel included. They sat out on the balcony eating popsicles like they did with Antarc and they sat in circles talking like they did with Ghost, Lapis and Cairn. They went out to go study in cafes for all the times Phos didn’t show up, even though it was Cinnabar doing the studying and Phos doing the bothering.

But even though they said that they said that they said that they were going to stay until they were a better person, but they couldn’t do it. They truly believed that they were a better person than they were when they came back into their life, and they were proud of it. They boasted about it to almost everyone but Cinnabar, because then it was their sign to leave. Since they finally realized that they liked them back years later and way too late, something wanted to prove to the other that they changed and they were a better person.

They wanted to cling onto the belief that being with Cinnabar was the reason why they had become a better person than before. They were happy with them and were glad to be with everyone - especially that they supported them and wanted them to go a long way. The fear that they’ll say that they’re ready to go and revert to the same person that they were before terrified them. In their mind, they created this scenario when they go back home, they’ll just freeze and revert back to their old state. They wouldn’t have Cinnabar around anymore and they’ll be stuck at home with Cairngorm or by themselves, so what’s the point of even leaving? 

Plus, they enjoyed being with the red gem more often because it reminded them of many different things. Of course, the fact that they realized that they have feelings for Cinnabar way too late and have to live with that until they die. But walking around with them reminded them of older memories of them after school and talked about who knows what. It was… nice to think about every now and then.

Phosphophyllite’s phone buzzed as they got up to throw away their trash and put everything away. They scurried back to the table, leaning on the table as they picked up their phone and looked at what they got. Their teal eyes lit up from a message from Diamond asking if they wanted to hang out in town and maybe go shopping and catch up on lost time. They quickly responded to the message, saying that they’d love to go meet up with them again. 

It wasn’t long after they got Diamond’s message, they told Cinnabar what they were going to and permission of what to wear. They got their hair looking presentable, a small smile forming on their lips when they saw their teal roots growing back. With the efforts of scrubbing their hair every time they took a shower, the blue was going away and bits of teal were popping back out. They let out a sigh of determination before they finally grabbed everything that they needed and left the apartment to meet up with their friend. They had their GPS on as they walked along the partially crowded sidewalk, only managing to barely get lost. 

[juwelenstaat]

inter-chapter meta

an inter-chapter ramble on foils, Phosphophyllite, the seventh treasure, the self, and Ichikawa’s story-telling (and a prediction as to where she’s taking Houseki no Kuni) : all below the cut.

(This is so incredibly a ramble, my apologies in advance.)

I think the narrative of houseki no kuni has finally hit the point where the Buddhist interpretations and influences on the text have surpassed the rich content of the first thirty chapters. Ichikawa has built her story, which, in all honesty, I’m much more comfortable calling a canon, in an incredibly poignant manner. Her idea of story-telling and her manipulation of Western-dominant literary themes, most notably the foil, is simply extraordinary in houseki no kuni. There is a lot of religious symbolism and, more importantly, worldview in houseki no kuni that a lot of the fandom has picked up on. Images of the lotus flower, lotus pod, the seven treasures, the six/seven stars, the role of suffering and of Samsara and change are all prevalent in fandom meta theories by now. However, for Ichikawa’s storytelling, houseki no kuni is dependent most of all on the theory of the self.

Phosphophyllite, of course, is the most obvious illustration of how the perception of the self and how clinging to said perception of the self is the root cause for suffering. Their desire to change through their body parts and through their acquisition of knowledge surpasses any of the other gems, and their ability to accomplish these desires only to be left even more estranged than before perfectly demonstrates Buddhist ideology.

However, Phosphophyllite is not the only showcase of this notion of the self. Ichikawa has made the conscious decision in houseki no kuni to take the task of establishing nearly every character as a foil of multiple other characters. To be honest, it’s astonishing ; very, very few authors dare to attempt this, let alone accomplish this. Ichikawa has a deep-rooted knowledge in how to make an audience ache through large landscapes, minimalist dialogue, and empty panels. This is present in nearly all of her works ; what comes to mind immediately are panels from Insect Song and her short story on lightning (which I’m forgetting the name of). But in houseki no kuni, Ichikawa goes further to integrate every single character into multiple sides of the same die.

The web that is the linking of foils in houseki no kuni allows the reader to understand distinctly the consciousness of being trapped. Lapis Lazuli is a foil of Euclase, of Ghost Quartz and Cairngorm, of Phosphophyllite, and of Alexandrite. Euclase is a foil to Padparadscha, Phosphophyllite, Yellow Diamond, and Lapis Lazuli. Diamond foils Zircon, Bort, Phosphophyllite, Yellow Diamond, and Cinnabar. All of these characters are intensely interconnected in the quality that they all are parallel – but with a key difference.

A good illustration of ‘what makes characters foils in houseki no kuni is found in my absolute favorite pair of Yellow Diamond and Phosphophyllite. The eldest and the youngest gems ; one of the hardest and one of the weakest. And yet, what do they share? They both share a deeply rooted depression over their effect on society, though this stems from opposite angles. Their main source of strength, initially, stems from their speed, and this is also the root of their anxiety for some time. In fact, many of Phosphophyllite’s earlier panels on strength seem to be debunked by Yellow Diamond themself when lamenting the uselessness of their speed in defending others (note how Phosphophyllite wishes to use this new-found speed to defend others and then fails). When Phosphophyllite gains their gold-platinum alloy arms, their speed is reduced to the point where it does not help them at all in saving Antarcticite, and, thus, Yellow Diamond and Phosphophyllite are losing partners for the same exact reasons. It’s further reinforced several times throughout the manga by involving Yellow Diamond and Phosphophyllite as a pair (Yellow finding Phos in the forest, Yellow being the main figure running after Phos when Phos is taken by the Lunarians, Phos speaking to Yellow by the flowers, Yellow putting all of their trust in Phos and, then, losing all of that trust).

It is this writing exactly that allows the reader to fully understand that the sense of self in houseki no kuni is not limited to the bodies of individual characters. Yellow Diamond’s reclusive depression in these late chapters is only showing the audience Phosphophyllite’s own spiritual death. Amethyst, Diamond, Benitoite, and Alexandrite’s success within moon society only serves to enhance how long it’s been since Phosphophyllite was ever considered part of a community. When we see Bort’s long hair gone, we are forcefully reminded that this is no longer Diamond’s partner, that this is no longer Phosphophyllite’s old ‘rival,’ but a direct consequence of every action that’s been taken within the plot.

In Buddhism in the general, the sense of the self is the existence which forces suffering. And while most ‘direct’ Buddhist beliefs rarely have weight when translated into literature, Ichikawa has taken great strides to underline the boundaries of what the self is within her own literature.

Which leads us to the seventh treasure.

Phosphophyllite is, obviously, no longer their pure body but an aggregate of several different minerals and gemstones into a single form. Their sense of self has been questioned repeatedly through the loss of memory and their acquisition of new personalities. I think the next chapter will most certainly show us that Red Diamond is the seventh treasure (although I’m so fucking ready to put on my clown shoes if my fifteen-chapters-old theory fails me). It makes almost perfect sense to have the first gem reunite with one of the last gems : the true elder with the true youth ; foiled by their intense kindness that, for Red Diamond, lasted until death and, for Phosphophyllite, was manipulated into desperation.

Phosphophyllite only has two options anymore. Their first option is to lose everything that once made them Phosphophyllite : to lose the self, and then not suffer anymore. The second option, and one that I think Ichikawa will embrace, is that Phosphophyllite will gain Red Diamond and become that kind gem that they once were. Ichikawa has had no issue returning Phosphophyllite to old locations or old mindsets as a form of plot foil. Her fondness for recurring panels only emphasize how far Phosphophyllite has really gone. If Phosphophyllite lying in the grass tells us how far Phosphophyllite has gone between the grass of chapter 1 and the grass after the moon-earth gem battle, imagine how much the narrative will tell us by having Phosphophyllite once again be cheerful.

As for how this whole thing ends, I’m really expecting Ichikawa to have all of the gems, Lunarians, and Admirabilis taken out by Adamant’s prayer. All of her other works involve the ‘lively’ characters dying and leaving a single, authoritative figure alone to ruminate on all that has transpired. In her short story on lightning, lightning is left alone at the end to ruminate over the death of the boy he had tried to save. In her short story on the young plant girl, the two men are left to ruminate on what they have done to the girl. In Insect Song, the elder brother is left to ruminate on the deaths of all of his siblings. In her short story on the interplanet colony, the robot is left to ruminate on her manipulation of another girl. So, I wouldn’t be surprised if houseki no kuni takes Ichikawa’s favored end and leaves the audience with Adamant alone and ruminating on everything that the gems had gone through on behalf of the other species.

[phoslos]

Wonderful

WORD COUNT: 922 PAIRING: Diamond/Phos/Cairngorm/Antarc/Cinnabar

You wish you could say you have no idea how this happened. One room mate was enough, but soon there were two, three, four, and more visitors than you can count on your hands and toes.

 It’s mostly Phos’ fault, you think. Or maybe it’s Ghost’s.

You consider this as you let your head fall back, neck against the curve of the couch. There’s two bodies on either side of you—Diamond and Antarc. Phos is laying across all your laps, whilst Cinnabar sits on the floor between your legs, earbuds playing the cheerful sounds of Pokémon and fingers pressing buttons as they’re off on their own little adventure.

 It started a while ago, when Ghost and Lapis, somewhat abruptly, decided to move out. “I’ve already given your new room mate a key,” was all Ghost had said when the last of their stuff was out of the apartment. You had only scowled at them and Lapis, their retreating backs fading and disappearing through an elevator. In the past, you would have shouted, yelled, maybe thrown stuff, break things. Then and now, you only dig your nails into your palms, hands hidden behind a hoodie’s front pocket.

 Phos showed up that evening. You didn’t speak to them, teeth grinding and eyes aching with keeping up the constant glare. That is, of course, until they brought you dinner. The rough “thanks” you gave felt like a victory, after all the therapy and hospitals and moving, since it came from a softer place. You had reached that softer place while simmering in your anger, and all it took was the simple kindness of a person who you didn’t really know but heard plenty of stories about. (Not many of them were good—Phos only brought trouble, but then again, so did you, and don’t two negatives make a positive?)

 It wasn’t long until Diamond showed up, freshly aching from the distance of someone dear to them. Phos couldn’t say no to Diamond, and you couldn’t say no to Phos. Plus, Dia actually knew how to cook, so it meant less takeout and delivery. There was room, anyways. Your room, Phos’, and now Diamond’s. Lapis’ room became Phos’, and Ghost’s room became Diamond’s. There were still a couple empty rooms in the ridiculous apartment—what used to be Lapis’ study, and the miniature library Lapis and Ghost had acquired.

 You had no way of knowing they wouldn’t stay empty for long, either.

 With Phos came Antarc’s visits, and with Phos and Diamond, came Cinnabar’s seemingly reluctant visits. Eventually, you just told Antarc to move in—he was obviously lonely, a single child with too much money always on hand. Cinnabar, you came to like, and there were plenty of times you wanted to offer them the old library room, but you saw how often they rejected Phos’ and Diamond’s efforts, so you guessed, too, Cinnabar was someone who had to come to decisions on their own terms.

 Before Cinnabar finally moved in, you had met so many people that you had only heard about through Ghost or Lapis. It’s not like you set out on life to be a recluse, but at least that isn’t the case anymore. Christmas parties, your apartment becoming something of a HQ for everyone (especially when the power goes out), birthday parties, people just dropping by to see someone (and sometimes, miraculously, it’s you they want to see)—it’s been an adjustment.

 (This apartment, you think, might always be home as long as everyone is here).

 It’s not perfect. Nothing is. You get annoyed—you’ve bitten off everyone’s heads at some point, but they work with you, talk it out, and things are okay. They make you want to do better, to go out with them, find perfect gifts for them. You think about them more than yourself, but they’re sure to think of you, and to remind you to think of yourself. You want to give, give, give, in penitence for all your selfishness and taking, but they never let you give too much. You think, maybe, you’re learning how to balance all the giving and taking, and it’s a nice feeling.

 Diamond and Antarc are nodding off on your shoulders, and Phos is already fast asleep (your legs tingle in the indication they’re doing the same, but you’ll push through it). Cinnabar’s got their head leaning against your knee, lips pursed as they face off against a gym leader or some final four member (you don’t know much about Pokémon, but still go out with Cinnabar at night sometimes, on PoGo adventures).

 Life can be difficult, but for the first time, you think maybe it’s worth it, for moments like this. For all the precious moments these four and numerous others have given you. Laughing, crying, finding courage, growing up—your heart has finally surpassed itself. You don’t even give all the credit to these people whom give you such warm and lovely feelings, because you’ve fought hard to be here. Phos, Diamond, Antarc, Cinnabar, they all remind you how far you’ve come. Their assistance and presence helped incredible amounts, but as Cinnabar once told you, “Your life has been your journey. You’ve come this far because you decided you wanted to, and you’ve fought for it. Take comfort in that.” (You think it’s something they themself had to be told before).

 As you, too, start to doze, you think about how your life is now better than any dream you could ever have. And isn’t that wonderful?

[linkspooky]

What's your thoughts on Lapis-Phos? Do you think the way Phos changed after getting their had is solely due to Lapis being so sociopathic or is it just that Lapis sorta removed Phos' own restraint/unleashed their true potential and capability to do things the way they do now?

It’s my own personal opinion that Lapis-Phos actually didn’t change that much about Phos at all. While it is definitely set up that Phos resembles Lapis quite a lot and has become more and more prominent as a question the story is asking. However, my interpretation is this is a deliberate set up for a subversion.  

If you look at the three qualities listed of lapis. 

Preferred satisfying their own intelluctual curiousity over using themself for the benefit of others

Easily gets along well with others and is pleasant to talk to

Manipulative and always going off on their own to the point of recklessness (that is how lapis lost their head after all).

You might notice that Phos has these qualities themselves ever since the beginning of the manga. Phos basically never listens to anybody but themselves. 

Phos is told that it’s dangerous and they literally just got reassembled so therefore don’t go anywhere dangerous, and instead they immediately B-Line for the Ocean. 

Phos always got along with others well and was always beloved which is exactly what Shinsha says is the difference between the two of them.

Ghost quartz recognizes the similiarities between Phos and Lapis right away, and, Ghost Quartz dies protecting Phos from a death that could have been caused by their own similiarity the same way Lapis was captured.

Phos then loses their head, while Lapis lost the rest of their body. This is not because Phos was set up to become more like Lapis in order to progres their character, but rather because Phos was like Lapis from the beginning. That similarity is why boh Cairn and Ghost become attached to them, because they already reminded them of Lapis not because they could be molded to become like Lapis. 

Ghost even says the only time the two of them were united was when they had Lapis together to instruct them. Phos also treats Cairngorm pretty much exactly the same way Lapis did, taking their loyalty for granted, never noticing how unhealthy their devotion was. Look how shocked Phos is when Cairngorm says no. 

This isn’t necessarily a Lapis only trait though, Pho’s relationship with Shinsha is way similiar. There’s a reason that Phos’s promise to them at the beginning of the manga has gone unfulfilled and Shinsha is still alone unable to become partners with or understand Phos. 

Phos just leaves them there on standby, and runs off on their own to do reckless things again and again. 

Phos forgets Shinsha’s wishes often in their own desires, in their own investigations and this is what happens far before the head is put on. 

So, my opinion is Phos was always like that and as proof we even see what changes that Lapis makes to Phos’s mind which is not much at all before disappearing. 

All Lapis does is emphasize the goals that Phos had since the beginning of the manga, they never bring up their own, and then they disappear entirely. 

I hope that answers your question anon, thanks for asking!

[kabutone]

i have so many thoughts about phos i can’t even articulate them rn

phos feels . so alone. they are carrying this huge burden all on their own. their empathy always ends up being their downfall. they care SO MUCH, more than anyone else. at one point rutile said “it’s like there’s finally some strong emotions inside that strong body” THERE WERE ALWAYS STRONG EMOTIONS IN THERE !!!!!!! PHOS HAS BEEN BATTLING THE HORRORS ENTIRELY ON THEIR OWN!!!!!! YOU DO NOT KNOW THEIR SUFFERING

they are trying so hard to make things right to the point that they have destroyed their body multiple times and have lost most of who they were. their memories are missing and lapis now has this influence over them.

WHICH REMINDS ME OF CAIRNGORM both phos and cairngorm did not necessarily want to be partners. ghost and lapis did. and through the inclusions of ghost and lapis inside cairngorm and phos respectively, they worked together and were forced to become somewhat close.

phos is falling apart in every way . their alliances feel temporary and tentative and that shows when cairngorm got ghost removed and completely changed.

AND think about this from the viewpoint of the other gems. for hundreds of years, phos was the youngest, phos was the baby and acted like it. and you see them “grow” and “change,” seemingly for the better but it’s not trauma induced “maturity.” have u ever been praised for the way you act bc of trauma??? its like. a little insulting that post winter phos is suffering and they’re all like “oh FINALLY this is how we always wanted you to be!” IN PAIN????

and that scene where phos has shattered everyone and it’s just them and euclase? euclase had tried to reason with them multiple times and it didn’t work. but imagine watching the baby of the family slowly go insane with no real way to help them.

phos has always cared phos cares so much and they are doing the best with what they can . they have ripped themselves and their soul apart to help their fellow gems !!!!!

[pasdechat]

Some random modern au Yellow/Zircon moments I joke with @kuro-kelly about an AU and this happened

This is what we came up with for what everyone is studying

Yellow - gen ed, athletics (track)

Zircon - gen ed, athletics (track)

Diamond - animal sciences (veterinarian) 

Bortz - animal sciences (marine biology)

Phos - gen ed (still undecided)

Cinnabar - medicine (infectious disease) minors in art

Rutile - medicine (surgery)

Padparadscha - medicine (ortho, aiming for sports medicine)

Jade - law

Euclase - history (modern)

Lapis - history (ancient)  minors in library science

Ghost - history, minors in literature

Cairngorm - history, minors in literature 

Alex - art (traditional)

Chrysoberyl - art (digital)

Yellow has always been a constant in Zircon’s life, watching over them for as long as Zircon can recall.  There isn’t a single childhood memory that Zircon has that does not include Yellow.  It is both a blessing and a curse.

Whenever they have a rough day, Zircon knows that Yellow will welcome then with open arms and listen patiently while they rant about anything and everything.  Once Zircon has finished, Yellow will wrap them in a tight hug and tease them about being too serious.  

And Zircon will quickly be reminded of just why they really should keep their distance.

It doesn’t take much.  A simple quirk of Yellow’s mouth as they try not to laugh, the corner of their eyes crinkling in amusement.  Zircon can barely manage to hear the teasing words that follow as Yellow pulls them close.  All they can think about is how their bodies fit together so neatly and how they never want this to end.

But of course it ends all too soon and Yellow remains oblivious as always, not noticing the blush on Zircon’s cheeks.  

“Are you sure your roommate won’t mind if I stay over?”  Zircon slumps over on Yellow’s desk, not really up to returning to their own dorm.  

Yellow rearranges the pillows and blankets on their bed.  “I doubt Padparadscha will be back any time soon.  They finally got that med student to agree to go on a date.”

Zircon makes a noncommittal noise, trying to fight the drowsy feeling.  The last time they fell asleep like this they woke up to Yellow carefully picking them up and carrying them to the bed.  They have yet to forget how nice it felt.

“Are you sure your roommates won’t mind?”  

The question makes Zircon snort.  There is a reason they spend so much time in Yellow’s dorm.

Yellow pats Zircon’s shoulder.  “Don’t be like that.  Phos is a sweet kid.”

“Phos is an idiot.”  Honestly, Zircon will never understand how both of them managed to skip a grade.  It feels like their entire academic life has been a lie.

“What about Bortz?  They can be a little rough around the edges but they seem pretty reliable.”

Zircon doesn’t even bother to respond, sighing against the desk.  Bortz is Bortz.  Intimidating on the best of days and downright frightening on the worst.

“Come on sleepyhead.  You can face your roommates tomorrow.”  Yellow tugs Zircon up and pushes them towards the bed.  

Stumbling forward, Zircon barely realizes that they are falling into Yellow’s bed instead of Padparadscha’s.  Before they can say a word, Yellow is slipping beneath the blankets and wrapping an arm around their waist.  Zircon’s mind goes blank, a choked gasp escaping when they feel something soft brush against the back of their neck.

Yellow is going to be the death of them.  But Zircon thinks there are worse ways to go.

Zircon carefully tames the messy strands of Yellow’s hair, brushing until they practically shine.  Yellow hums under their breath, lashes falling shut as Zircon sets the brush aside and uses their fingers to fix the stray hairs that do not seem to want to cooperate.  

Mornings are nice, especially when Zircon can lose themself in such a simple act without having to overthink.  It’s comforting and familiar and definitely not an excuse to let their touch linger just a little longer than necessary.

“Ready?”  Zircon pulls their hands away, turning around so that Yellow will not spot the blush that is slowly beginning to spread across their face.  They keep busy by gathering up the brush and comb and other supplies, trying not to focus on the sound of Yellow stretching behind them.

Smothering a yawn, Yellow falls forward with a groan and nearly tumbles off the bed as they reach for their shoes.  “I was born ready.”  

Zircon shakes their head, moving to help Yellow up.  

Morning jogs are one of the few times when Zircon can let their mind wander.  It’s quiet as they run together, a comfortable silence that lets Zircon escape all of the confusing and conflicting thoughts that never seem to end.  All that matters in this moment is breathing in and out and keeping pace with Yellow, running beside them instead of chasing after them.

Slowing down as they reach the mile marker, Zircon takes small sips of water while continuing forward at a walk.  Yellow falls into step beside them without a word and it’s nice.  Spending time alone together like this is all that Zircon needs.  Maybe one day they will even believe it.

The two of them continue following the path of the walking trail until the dorms come into sight and Zircon lets out a sigh.  They are never quite ready for these small moments to end.  It always seems to happen so quickly.

Yellow turns to them with a soft smile, draping their towel over Zircon’s head and ruffling their hair.  They look as if they are about to say something before a loud shout interrupts them.  Zircon turns to the source of the sound and somehow they are not surprised to find that it is Phos.  

“Is that…”  Yellow’s voice trails off in a laugh.

“Yeah.”  A part of Zircon is tempted to just pull Yellow’s towel over their face so they don’t have to witness whatever it is that Phos is attempting to do.  “Chasing after Dia’s roommate again.”

Yellow only laughs harder, grabbing Zircon’s arm to steady themself.  Zircon freezes at the touch, swallowing thickly as Yellow leans against them, short strands of hair tickling along their neck.

Maybe Phos can be kind of useful at times.  Not that they will ever admit that out loud.

I also joked that all it needs is an awkward confession, Zircon avoiding Yellow because they weren’t supposed to hear said awkward confession, and some good old fashioned pining until they work things out and kiss.

[fennells]

You remind me of lapis lazuli fans(Steven Universe) those too loudly shout and do not try to understand the situation\lapis lazuli also was grumpy but then she met Steven,peridot,amethyst and other gems \why did not the ghost get rid of Caiwho?why so much time kept in itself? "Ghost from the inside ruled Cairngorm"

I don’t completely understand your question but I think you’re trying to say that I’m jumping to conclusions on the reasoning for why the remnants of Ghost pushed Cairn to protect Phos.  I also think that you are trying to question why the remnants of Ghost would only appear in the previous chapter like that if they were to completely rule over Cairngorm.  I don’t entirely understand the SU comparison but I think it’s mainly in connection to how I go about expressing my opinions.

Please understand that I’m not trying to say that Ghost as a whole person manipulated and hurt Cairn.  Something like that was never confirmed to be true.  It was only the remnants of Ghost and their final last wish/will that was left on Cairn that hurt them in such a manner.  Cairn was clearly desperate and pained in the previous chapter by the burden they were carrying.  I don’t think though that if Ghost as a whole gem were present they would do something as violent and physically painful as ripping Cairn apart, which is what the remnants of Ghost did to Cairn.  So, it does not make my disturbed perceptions of the remnants of Ghost and what they did to Cairn any less valid.

To be honest, I don’t really think the remnants of Ghost can have a lot of coherent thoughts and deep thinking besides their driven last will that has followed and coerced Cairn throughout this arch so far.  Which was the protect Phos at all costs.  Because of this, I don’t think I should change my mind regardless of any possible intentions the remnants of Ghost had for Cairn unless we get more information.

In regards to your next point, I think the reason why the remnants of Ghost appeared to Cairn in that previous chapter in such an intense manner came from the acknowledgment and realization it was able to gather that Cairn was no longer going to obey their last and final will/wish.  I do think that if Ghost was their normal self and an entire gem none of that would have ever happened. 

The remnants of Ghost were hurting and breaking Cairn apart but the Ghost we know as an entire gem was not present during that period of time.  I hope I’m a bit more clear now in terms of distinguishing between the two Ghost(s) we’re talking about.  I apologize if I wasn’t clear enough in my previous posts.  I wasn’t trying to assume that Ghost as a complete gem was harmful to Cairn.  It’s more so what they have left behind after their death that created massive problems for Cairn. 

Regardless, due to these thoughts, I think it would be unfair to suggest that I’m not comprehending the gravity of the situation.

[yuzuria]

whatever points u havent done yet, if it's fandom then gntm

heeey nice, thank u bio-chan :*

under the cut because this is gonna be long, i know you want only gntm but i took the liberty to add my dr opinions bc i won’t prob have this opportunity to voice them out prompted (not rly) in the future

a - ships that you currently like a lot. (they don’t have to be otps because not everyone has otps.) friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

the otp atm is obviously komahina, it’s incomparable for me, i’ve been in rare otp fandoms for years so it’s like being enveloped by a fresh sea breeze when i got into it, it’s the most popular ship in dr, has the most fan content where the good ones outweighs the bad ones, and their relationship was fulfilling, it’s also the closest otp of mine that has reached canon.

other ones i love a lot right now are:

dr ships: hinata/servant (it’s komahina but i’m so invested in this dynamic in particular and there’s almost no content for it), kamukura/komaeda, kaede/miu, tenko/mikan, kirigiri/sayaka, touko/komaru, sonia/akane, lowkey shinguuji/amami and pekoyama/koizumi

dr friendships i’m invested and want to see more: komaeda/sonia, komaeda/kirigiri, komaeda/any girls tbh let him have platonic relationships with girls, familial komaeda/monaka, amami/kaede, hinata/natsumi, tsumiki/asahina, sakura/asahina, dr1 girls

gintama ships: tae/sacchan, kagura/nobume, takasugi/zura, kyuubei/tsukuyo (guess which ones are your influence)

hnk ships: diamond/bortz, ghost quartz/lapis lazuli, rutile/padparadscha, cairgorm/phos, cinnabar/phos

c - a ship you have never liked and probably never will.

dr: all het ships minus celesgami but i also grew out of it eventually, they’re all mediocre at best and i dislike the popular hetero ones-- namely, naegiri, hinanami, kamunami, kuzupeko, sondam, souda/sonia, akanidai, saimatsu, kaimaki.. also i never saw the appeal of chishimondo and the pairs involving the three. mahiyoko is forced in my opinion and their “moment” which gained them an alternate title “soapies” was distasteful. soudam is simply boring while i dislike hinadam out of spite. nobody asked but my most hated ships are komaegi, komamiki, hinaegi, kamuegi, and komahinaegi (stay those out of my sight)

gintama: shinsengumi centric ships, joui centric ships minus sakagin and takazura (i entertained the idea of the former but never beyond platonic), gintoki/every girls minus tae, sakamutsu, hijimitsu, tsukisachi, mutsumata, bantaka, takahiji, konzura, the gross pedophilic ones, okikagu, kamusoyo, sabunobu, ginshin, etc

d - a pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.

i don’t really have pairings i “wish” i liked because i know what i love and what i don’t tho the hnk one is an exception, i think i have the need to say that,, but i guess i feel envious with the content victuuri is getting i wished i i liked it so i have a lot of merch to buy whenever i go to cons but nah... im happy with my own otp

e - have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? if so, what?

i don’t even know if they’re considered hilarious, probably annoying which are a lot in my twitter, this one is my fav wholesome headcanon though

this one is my first dr post which somehow has the most notes i have ever gotten

i don’t think i have one in gntm

f - what’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?

i’m not active in atla but it’s basically my first fandom and i still love and enjoy the fandom content so yeeep

g - have you ever had an otp? if so, do you remember your first one? who was in it?

embarrassing but toph/aang

h - what is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., tv shows, movies, books, anime, western animation, etc.)?

anime but most of the time it’s just a way for me to get into a fandom and i usually like the source material (manga, games, etc) more

m - name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

anego

n - name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

gintama: tae fighting and an arc of her own, gags with nobume or takasugi, in general less of that blue pubes and more about girls without their respective dudes’ influences which suck because the girls are amazing yet the arcs they’re centered in still revolves around dudes i am so tired

dr: more focus on asahina :/, kirizono and kaemiu content pleaaase, and komaeda making friends other than his boyfriend??? 

o - choose a song at random. which ship or character does it remind you of?

I got Lucky Stars by Lana Del Rey, yeeep, komahina

p - invent a random au for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

i’ve always wanted spies/mafia au with best gintam girls, guns and aesthetic black or white clothing or military clothing whatev keeps me going 

q - a fandom you’ve abandoned and why.

sports anime fandom, i used to be in multiple sports anime fandom but after getting into gintama i dropped all of them and lost interest,, give me sports anime girls you coward... other than basketball or volleyball idk moe catastrophe or the most “feminist” game of the century that is keijo

r - which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

sasaki/nobume, kagura/tae, and gint*ki/tama in gintama

komaeda/monaka in dr

s - show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

my default headcanon is all my fav girls are lesbians

after sasaki’s death, rather than going with the shinsengumi or military in general i want nobume to stay with the yorozuya

nobume becomes a transfer student in 3Z and wears a black sailor uniform with long skirts, sports a nailed bat, and an honor student. sasaki adopted her from young age and is the most doting father ever during the festivals and always cheering for her, “yes that’s my elite daughter, nobume-san” i teared up. kagura, on the other hand, had a growth spurt in the middle of their third year so she looks like her yorozuya movie design with her glasses up and taller than nobume.

i have a hc how komaeda/hinata/kamukura would look like as girls too

komaeda: has a long messy hair, wears the same clothing as the regular one (pants and not those sexy short shorts with thigh highs and garter belt, regular komaeda would wear that though ;) ), petite and still 180 cm

hinata: same hair, around 165 cm, regular bust size and has strong arms that can carry her tall gf, pretty packed, wears skirts with suspenders

kamukura: same features as hinata but her long hair is tied in a low ponytail, then same clothing

t - do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 

kagura never had interests with boys and when she grows up that’s where she realizes she’s a big lesbian and in love with nobutasu ;;

komaeda feels EXTREME distaste towards memes and puns, he doesn’t like them at all, he leans in a poetic side when he speaks, make him a pretentious john green character than a meme fuck (remember when he said if the sunflower is the symbol of hope then he’s the ground where the roots cling on?? and also one of his few hated gifts is a ring with a bad pun??)

w - a trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

girls who only serve as a plot device especially a manpain, bonus point if she’s pining on the said dude but ends up being sacrificed for the dude

MC dude whose dick wants to be sucked by almost everyone, it’s tiring and gross

pedophilic themes

moe slash fantasy slash harem slash romantic comedy slash ecchi

pretentious characters with god complex

y - what are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?

v*ltron unfortunately

saiyuuki a bit bc of you and emilia

fire emblem/persona (i played some games but never finished it so i mostly don’t feel too attached with them)

some other video games

kpop

[kabutone]

the parallels between phos and cairngorm is killing me . and the way they grieve is so much

phos changing cairngorm’s name . in an attempt to separate them from antarc bc they keep losing their mind and seeing antarc in cairngorm

but then that affects cairngorms grieving process

and cairngorm, having always been part of ghost, has never been able to be their own person. so they start making decisions for themselves which .. makes them more like antarc again. both taking winter duty, and putting powder on

but then . ghost said phos reminded them of lapis, and projecting lapis onto phos was part of Their grieving, and since there’s a part of ghost left behind in the eyes, cairngorm, to an extent is also doing that. AND YHEN PHOS GETS LAPIS’ HEAD

cairngorm takes winter duty . and is now going to phos’ body to talk to them and give them updates . just like phos used to do with antarc 🥺

AND THEN 🥺🥺 PHOS WAKES UP AND . CAIRNGORM HAS TO SEE ‘LAPIS’ MOVING AND WALKING AND LIVING FINALLY AGAIN BUT ITS NOT THEM

augh . aughghg

[rin-chan32]

Dear chapter 10 preview #2

“So how’s work?” Phos asked as they walked out of a store with a small bag with stuff for Lapis.

Cinnabar shrugged, “works work.”

“And what the hell is that supposed to mean?”

The red gem looked at them with a frown before they looked at the concrete beneath them to avoid the others face. “I’m trying to find another job cause the one I have is changing its policies again. I don’t wanna stay there if I won’t have a job in the end.”

“Why don't you work at the library with Lapis? I’m sure that they won’t mind you being with them since it’s just them and Ghost most of the time. Oh! You can also be with everyone else and it will be nice to be with everyone again!”

They can tell that they brought back a memory for them because they watched them focus on a divot in the sidewalk before a small smile formed on their lips. Those words also brought back a warm feeling in their chest, their shoulders lifting up as they felt excited to do something.

“I’ll think about it,” Cinnabar replied before walking them back to the train station. They set a date for them to hang out again before Phos left and boarded the subway to go back home.

When they sat in the same seat as they did before, their eyebrows furrowed in curiosity when Lapis called them out of the blue. Regardless of their confusion, they answered their call and put it against their ear. “Hello?”

“Hey, can you do a favor for me? I would do it myself but I don’t have the time to do it.”

They let out a heavy sigh of relief as they felt their heart settle, “sure what is it?”

“Can you run by Padpa’s on the way home? They borrowed a book from me and I need it back so if you could please grab it and bring it to me?”

“Yea, I’ll stop by their place.”

“Thanks.”

Once the train came to a halt, their stomach sunk when they saw a familiar face waiting on the train platform. They frowned, gathered their stuff, and hurried off the train before they could be able to talk to the person on the platform. But it was too late since they started to walk towards them the moment they stepped off of the subway and walked to the stairs. “Phos, can we talk?”

“Don’t call me Phos,” they said in a monotone voice as they walked up the stairs and looked forwards. “And no, I don’t want to talk.”

“Please? Can I just-”

Phosphophyllite scanned their card and walked through the gate as they started to go back to the sidewalks up another flight of stairs. “No, I don’t want to talk to you leave me alone Cairn.”

The dark skinned gem sighed and watched them walk up the stairs quickly, staying on that step before they went their own way.

The teal gem let out a sigh of relief as they didn’t hear their voice following behind them as they walked down the street. They pulled out their phone to tell their sibling what happened, but they frowned and put their phone back in their pocket. They felt as if doing anything won’t make them have their space, so they just let it be as they looked up at the bright blue and gently smiled. They pushed that in the back of their mind as they continued to walk, reminding themselves about why they stopped dwelling in the past and tried to look in the future. They said that they wouldn’t do it anymore, so they should keep up on that until their gut tells them otherwise.