#pie read this and was like 'you HAVE to read this' and lo and behold i also loved it

[libraryleopard]

Dual POV adult historical romance set in 1810s England

When a Gareth, London clerk, unexpectedly inherits his estranged father's baronetcy in Kent, he moves to the Romney marshes and realizes that Joss, the man who runs the local smuggling clan, is the same one who he had several clandestine assignations with–before they abruptly things ended on bad terms

The two end tangled in conflicts between rival smuggling clans and the local authorities even as they find themselves drawn back to each other

Very grounded in historical politics, setting, and language

Gay main character; biracial Black/white, gay main character; M/M romance

[pyr0graves]

Thimbleberry Pie Charts!

Hello!! This is a little fic thing I've had in the works for a little while and shared with a few friends, and I decided I should upload it!!

Criticism is much appreciated, I both want to get back into writing and want to get better!!!

Word Count: 896 Words

“-And that’s ten cases of card stock, an entire package of crayons, aand the mail-in day catalog for stamps! That’ll be a thousand smolleons, Mr. Joe!” … “What do you mean you don’t have that kind of money?! I should be charging you extra for wasting my time!! Good day! Sir!”

SLAM!!!

...

"Tough day?"

"You could say that,"

Pascal leaned against the pillows behind them, crossing their arms as they glanced at their ‘coworker’, humming silently.

After some time passed, Pascal started messing with an abacus on their makeshift table, they punched a few numbers into the toy calculator they were provided and finished off by flipping a few papers scattered around their workspace before speaking again,

“Hm, so far, we’ve made about a hundred dabloons from those teddy sales, a thousand and five hundred smoleans from the staplers and pushpins, pfft, aand a couple tens from whatever moolah is supposed to be,”

“Ah! This quarter has been a successful one I see! Maybe we could-” Frank began but was promptly interrupted with a “But!-”

“We’ve also got an order of big boards coming in,” Pascal said as they held up a receipt, “-and then a couple of crayons that are just…blue?” They looked up at Frank, “Do you know anything about this?”

Frank simply shrugged, to which Pascal simply huffed in response and got back to work. Frank set the books he was carrying onto the floor and then propped up the board on the two stacks for a makeshift table. A bit more time passed, Frank finally finished his desk.

“Take a look at that bookworm!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“There’s a bookworm on your shoulder,”

Frank looked to his right shoulder, lo and behold, he saw a little green worm staring up at him with comically large glasses atop its eyes.

“Oh! Look at you!” The puppet gently took the bookworm along his hands and showed it off,

“You know, Pascal. The Lumbricus Bibliostris usually appears in situations involving books, number crunching, and any busy work that involves reading! They often come in great handy when-”

“When keeping track of things!” Pascal finished Frank’s sentence for them with a smile.

“See? I pay attention whenever you talk about nifty little insects!”

Frank couldn’t help but smile knowing this fun little fact about their friend. They grabbed some knick knacks scattered around Julie’s house to place on their little makeshift desk while Pascal fiddled with their abacus and wrote a few things in crayon.

“Do you think we could convince Wally and Mr. Dear to join us next time?” “I doubt it, last time Eddie joined Julie and I in this little game, the poor mailman lost his marbles when Julie started wrecking things! As for Wally…I’m not too sure, maybe we could? He could draw those silly fruit-flavored pie charts Julie always needs for the board meetings!” “What flavor was it this time before I got here?” “Strawberry, but then midway through the meeting, she said it was supposed to be thimble-berry,”

“Do we even have that color?” Frank mumbled the question as he took the little bookworm to the open windowsill to let it outside, “I’ve never heard of such berries..” “Heck if I know! I’m only the accountant, Mr. Frankly, I crunch numbers and tell the head honcho about ‘em! Speaking of which, can you buzz in President Joyful? I finished countin' those numbers she was losin’ her marbles about earlier.” Pascal grabbed a stack of papers and set them next to their books. “No need to ring your lovely president in!! I’ve been here the whole time!” Julie spoke suddenly, appearing right in front of the cat puppet like it was nothing, startled by the rainbow monster’s sudden entrance. “Let me see those!” She snatched some of the papers and started rapidly flipping through them, mumbling nonsense to herself as she paced excitedly around the room, “These papers are quite overdue, Mr. Pushpin!” “Mhm..mhm…that looks about right…Wait!! Mr. Pushpin, why does the first hour say we sold fourteen crates of chuckler berries?? We don’t even have them in stock! And why do these papers say our stocks aren’t stocking?!” Julie yelled out as she scrambled to read the rest of the papers from Pascal’s desk.

Pascal looked up at the horned puppet in confusion and quickly grabbed the papers she had dropped, looking through them to check if Julie’s accusations were true. Frank got up on his feet and walked over to Julie, raising his brow in confusion. “What? What’s the matter?” He skimmed over the documents right next to Julie as buttons clacked in the background. Frank’s eyes widened, and they shared a look of horror with Pascal, who was holding the dropped papers as the two puppets wordlessly shared the same realization. “Our backburners aren’t in the back, and these pie charts aren’t blueberry flavored…The cans aren’t canned, and our doubloons aren’t even in doubles! This…all of this…” Julie rambled anxiously, mumbling more incomprehensible nonsense to herself. Pascal quickly dropped the papers they were holding and ran over to Frank to whisper one thing before chaos struck. “Mr. Frankly, it has been an honor working with you.” Without missing another beat. Julie threw the papers up in the air and gripped the sides of her head and cried out in despair,

"THIS COMPANY IS GOING DOWN!!!"

[hellmouth-manor]

Melted to Nothing | Vote Results

With such a small voting pool to choose from, a near-complete consensus is easy to reach. Tired faces look desolate and hopelessly at one another, determined to sway the vote the way they deem just. The final moments of the trial melt away, revealing another emptiness in the jazz lounge. The candles all burn brightly, and the wax begins to drip over portraits. Pheo waves a hand to grab everyone's attention, then whistles to demand it.

"Wooow, wow! Good job, everyone! Let's read off who you all voted for, huh?"

Numbers are revealed as wax continues to drip over your portraits. Who was chosen as Nikephoras' killer?

Ruby - 8 Micah - 2 Abstained - 2

Pheo rubs her hands together, preparing the flashback you are all forced to witness time and time again.

"I always love this part!"

Pheo snorts with a laugh as the view before you comes cleaner in focus...

The case begins in the evening. The culprit, desperate for a distraction and a way to keep busy, decides to pass the time by cooking. Thanks to their nigh-delirious state and short attention span, however, most of their efforts end in disaster- piles of burned food and pots and pans that are completely charred. Still, they persist, alternating between ruining dishes and cleaning up the aftermath. If nothing else, the cycle keeps them awake and alert.

Scouring a cookbook for something simple, the culprit decides on a basic lemon pie that required only a handful of ingredients. It’s here where they make a fatal mistake. Magnified tenfold by the sleep deprivation, their lack of care results in them mistakenly grabbing a bottle of lemon-scented cleaning fluid that they had left out prior, and adding it to the pie. 

This, too, would have burned to an unrecognizable crisp had they not dozed off at just the right moment- the painful electric shock jolting them back to attention just as the oven gave the signal that the pie was done. And, lo and behold, it looked just right! Perfect, even- at least by their standards. Not even the lack of sleep could hide their joy at cooking something worthwhile, and they set it aside to cool while they clean up some more. 

In the midst of it all, Nike enters the kitchen as well. Excited at the prospect of sharing their success, the culprit readily offers the pie to Nike, assuring him that he can eat as much as he likes. 

“It looks good, right? I can hardly believe it! Please, eat as much as you want.” 

Nike takes them up on the offer, downing much of the pie before he starts to feel ill. At first, Nike believes that they had been intentionally poisoned, but when they see the culprit about to eat some of the pie themselves… they realize that wasn’t the case. Thinking quickly, Nike stops them.

“There…might be too much salt in this— No, don’t feel too bad. Try clearing your head a little, and take a break.”

The culprit is disappointed, but heeds Nike’s suggestion, and promptly leaves the kitchen to go back to their room for the time being. Nike immediately gets to work cleaning up and disposing of any evidence they can find, at one point finding and pocketing the bottle of cleaning fluid that had poisoned them. However, they leave behind the burnt dishes and the stepping stool the culprit used in the pantry, not realizing their importance. 

With the effects of the poisoning starting to become more intense, Nike shuffles towards the Jazz Lounge. Stopping by the Food Carts, she deposits the cleaning fluid among bottles of sauces, hoping to conceal it. She also grabs a wad of napkins to cough into, bloodying them and dropping one of the bloody napkins onto the street. 

All the while, the culprit is none the wiser of any of this transpiring, nor that is all their fault. 

With little time left before they succumb entirely, Nike makes it to the Jazz Lounge. They get behind the counter and brew a cup of coffee, but thanks to their weakened state and blurred vision, they make a mess. Milk spills on the counter, bottles top over, and powdered sugar gets on Nike’s sleeve. Still, Nike is able to brew a cup of coffee, and does their best to clean the mess left behind with the rest of the napkins. 

There’s only one thing left to do. Nike relaxes into a lounge chair, and with his last bit of consciousness, raises the cup to his lips and takes a sip, leaving behind blood on the rim. The poison is taking its toll on Nike’s body. It’s slow, and it’s painful, but Nike waits until the moment comes… and he fades away. 

Elsewhere in the manor, Ruby Scott finally feels the sweet release of sleep. Maybe she dreams of friends, of escape, or of a better life- a few more hours spent blissfully unaware of the catastrophic consequences of her own mistake. 

[paranormalinstigator]

🍂 and ghost for the ask game. :)

🍂: pumpkin pie or pumpkin cookies?

i prefer cookies! i like pumpkin pie, too, but only sometimes.

ghost: do you have any paranormal experiences?

short answer: yes.

long answer: this is gonna make me sound crazy, but whatever fjsldkfjsdlfkj i used to be able to see spirits and entities as a young kid, but i don't anymore as much. i do still have occasional experiences, like hearing or feeling things and occasionally (read: rarely) seeing them. it's not always spirits, though; sometimes i just sense residual emotions and feelings that are left behind from really impactful events that caused a lot of strong emotions. i can sense living people's energies as well, and can't always tell if what i'm feeling is a dead or living person. when i moved into my last apartment, for weeks i felt just this nasty, negative feeling from somewhere in my building, and i was wondering if it was haunted, but then after a few weeks i met my upstairs neighbours, and the husband was a massive douche. they were preparing to separate, and lo and behold, once he moved out, the feeling was gone. i know it's not stuff my brain is making up because other people have been able to confirm that either they also experience things when they're around me, or that what i'm saying has some kind of proof (i.e. a place i was in that had a really bad feeling was the site of a battle, and later a pow camp, a woman i talked to when i was 4 and told that a little boy was walking behind her had lost a son a few years before, the man i saw walk into the back room at my great-grandma's house and then disappear turned out to be my great-grandfather, who i never met and had never seen pictures of until after the fact).

[thedeathdeelers]

“Luke, honey, you’re not going to get a date ever if you don’t at least attempt to be nice to girls.”

“I’m nice!” Luke said as he turned from his mom, rummaging through his closet for the box of guitar picks he kept when he’d chewed his latest one beyond its ability to play. The silence from his mom should’ve made him feel indignant but instead he sighed as he grabbed the box hidden behind the leather jacket Reggie forgot in his room ages ago. “I’m nice enough, mom. Besides I don’t date, I’ve got the boys and the band and -“

“I’m just saying, Cassie’s mom has been hinting to be heavily during our weekly cooking lessons that Cassie wants to ask you to the Sadie Hawkins dance. I think it could be good for you,” Emily shrugged attempting to seem nonchalant which was hilarious to Luke because his bouncy energy definitely didn’t come from his dad. “It’s girls’ choice, you should feel honored she wants to ask you.”

Luke tried not to make a face. Cassie Singh was nice. He remembered them sharing a piece of pie in elementary school once. She was also really pretty, he knew, long straight black hair and curved nose that had a diamond nose piercing in it. She was just…not his type. Cassie listened to Phil Collins and Tim McGraw which fine they were good lyricists but where was the adventure in that? She thought The Cranberries sounded creepy for God’s sake! And when he’d mentioned Soundgarden she’d just looked confused. Besides he hadn’t even talked to Cassie, like full on had an in-depth conversation, in years just locker talk that lasted maybe twenty/thirty seconds.

“Just promise me you’ll think about it?” Emily cut in, “smile and be polite.”

“Mhmm,” Luke kept rummaging around his room desperate to think of a way out of this conversation, “ok but what if I want to yknow go against the status quo. What if I want to ask a girl?” No, why had he said that? Now she was never going to let this go. He tried to think of someone he could lie about liking and found himself coming up blank. Fuck.

“Oh?” And there it was, the dreaded sound of intrigue only a mother could make. “And who is this mystery girl I’ve never heard of before?”

“Uh,” Luke found himself looking down at his guitar case on his bed when he figured he should stick as close to the truth as possible. “You don’t know her.” Well that wasn’t a lie, he didn’t know her too.

“She doesn’t go to your school?” He could feel her eyes on him so he dropped to look under his bed moving shoes around as if he were searching for something.

“No,” that wasn’t a lie either.

“How did you meet her?”

For fuck’s sake. “At Bobby’s garage. She heard us playing and wanted to see what the noise was all about.” Okay that sounded possible, he had to give it to himself he was rocking this bullshit so well.

“And? What’s her name? What does she look like? How old is she?” So much for sticking close to the truth, he kept throwing his shoes around when he heard the clattering of a VHS getting hit. He grabbed at it hoping it wasn’t anything too important when lo and behold The Sound of Music drifted into view.

“Julie,” he hadn’t been thinking when he said the name. He was just beginning to read the description about Julie Andrews when he’d pronounced the word out loud to his waiting mother’s ears.

“That’s a nice name, what else can you tell me about her?” Oh about the imaginary girl I’ve made up as an excuse not to go to some dance with a girl who doesn’t like good music and probably doesn’t even know who Tom Waits is? Sure mom let me just pull some other shit out of my ass.

“Uh,” he kept staring at the VHS cover wondering what he could say when he remembered his dream about the girl with brown eyes. “She’s got curly hair like really curly and it puffs out and coils back and bounces,” technically that wasn’t a lie the girl in his dreams really did have aerodynamic hair. “And she’s got brown eyes.” Please please let that be enough.

“Hmm,” and with that Luke slouched onto the floor. Fuck. He knew he was going to be there a while. - 🌙 (I saw your response to one of the anons and got this idea in my head oops sorry!)

OH MY GOD

this IS SO GOOD I kept cackling the whole way through WHY ARE YOU STILL ON ANON AAAH

the julie part? GENUIS

UGH I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

also the way you included the dream bit? from my lil stargazing series? 🥺 ily

again

stop apologising this is literal gold just sat in my inbox

everyone go read this

[swiftgronmasterpost]

GRYLES!!!

Rebuilding the Gryles Timeline expertly crafted here because I’m always afraid of broken links and people going private and losing data.

Not only is there a ton of great evidence that these guys were dating such as Harry leaving Nick’s place in the morning wearing the same clothes as he’d worn the night before, I’ve also got a friend who works in the UK music industry and she did tell me these guys did date.  Nick is 100% out as gay so it really does all add up.

Gryles very obviously takes place during Haylor, debunking Harry as the 1989 muse, and if it’s not Harry you do have to wonder... who with green eyes and an obsession with Alice and Wonderland was heavily featured in Taylor’s life and then disappeared before 1989 - a breakup album about someone with green eyes who seems to relate to Alice in Wonderland drops?

You get it.

Anyway here’s Gryles:

This is a little game I like to call "let's talk about Nick/Harry dates and how they line up with Harry leaving and entering the country".

06. February 5th 2012 - Harry and Nick go to a Super Bowl party together.

One Direction in Sweden February 12th - 14th. (Came home by train on the 14th.)

07. February 14, 2012 - VALENTINE'S DAY!

08. February 18, 2012 - Stella McCartney Fashion show with Nick's mom.

09. February 21, 2012 - Brit Awards!

10. February 22, 2012 - They attend a party together. (Nick might have been DJing?)

11. February 23, 2012 - Harry spotted leaving Nick Grimshaw's flat in the same outfit he was wearing the night before.

The morning of February 23rd One Direction flies to the US for their tour and doesn't return to the UK until April 24th, 2012.

This trip is supposedly where Haylor 1.0 happens.  Harry supposedly meets Taylor at the KCA’s on March 31 and they fall for one another.  Taylor supposedly goes to NYC to be with Harry (even though she spends the whole time with Dianna) during the first week of April.  Then they supposedly enter into a long distance relationship that is broken up because Harry was seen out with another girl.

All the while the last thing Harry does before he leaves the UK is spend the night with Nick and then the first thing he does is goes back to him.

Yeah, I’m not buying Haylor 1.0 it seems pretty clear to me that Taylor wanted to pin I Knew You Were Trouble on Harry as a big pop anthem to support her transition to pop.  I think it’s even possible they faked Harry being spotted out with that girl or perhaps he and Nick had some kind of agreement.  I’m not saying Gryles was always exclusive (they may have been), but regardless I don’t see Red era Taylor being cool enough to share her boyfriend with a man.

12. April 25, 2012 - Nick and Harry out together the morning after he returned.

Harry also calls into Nick's radio show on the 25th and confirms that the first thing he did upon returning on the 24th was meet up with Nick and Matt Fincham for drinks so one can theorize he probably crashed w/ Nick that night.

Harry goes to LA by himself on May 1st and returns to the UK on the 5th.

May 5th, 2012 - Harry out with Annie Mac and Nick. (Thanks to my anon for clueing me into this little gem of information.)

13. May 7th, 2012 - Harry and Nick out with friends

One Direction goes to Sweden from May 10th to May 16th.

14. May 17, 2012 - The Sun reports Harry driving Nick to work.

Also out shopping together

15. May 19, 2012 - Nick posts a picture to his instragram from the Kanye West/Jay Z show at the O2.

Who cares right? So he went to see a show. But then.

Hey guess what happened the very next day? One Direction flew to Boston on May 20th, 2012 to start their summer tour in the U.S. They're gone from the 20th to July 3rd.

16. July 5, 2012 - Nick and Harry attend the launch of Tinie Tempah's shoes line.

There's some downtime and vacation time here where Harry disappears for a week while Louis is France w/ Eleanor, Niall goes to Spain, Liam and Danielle are on vacation, etc and then One Direction goes back to work July 11th recording and doing photo shoots.

17. July 19, 2012 - Harry goes out with Nick and Aimee and tweets this.

18. August 10, 2012 - Harry attends Nick's 28th birthday party at La Bodega Negra.

Pregaming before the party!

Outside La Bodega Negra

19. August 11, 2012 - Primrose Hill picnic

20. August 20, 2012 - One Direction visit Nick at BBCR1 to announce their headlining of the BBC Radio 1 Teen Choice Awards.

21. August 25, 2012 -

Nick and Harry go to lunch. (Would also like to point out that they are switching places and that Harry is going to the driver's side of Nick's car :333)

and then to Reading Festival

then Nick accompanies Harry to Liam's party at Funky Buddha

and then they leave together and go see Rita Ora at G.A.Y.

22. August 26, 2012 - The morning after, Nick tweets a shot of his hangover breakfast from Harry's Range Rover (Nick owns a Mercedes).

then a lunch date with several people

They spend this entire day together and this is the day the pics of them in the grocery store  are taken where Nick buys Harry a banana, etc

and then Harry drops Nick off for his nighttime show and picks him up again to take him to/stay with him while Nick DJs at Wonderland nightclub.

(Although, lbr. Given what we learn from Nick's final nighttime show about how often Harry hung around the studio, he probably never left.)

Wonderland! (the only time that fucking song has any bearing on Harry and he’s off being a MLM king)

23. August 28, 2012 - Leaving Nick's flat

spotted in the studio w/ Nick at BBCR1

24. August 30, 2012 - Harry films the Breakfast Show advert for Nick's #Team Grimmy commercial and then they go to Mahiki Club that night.

25. August 31, 2012 - Harry goes with Nick to his DJ gig at Paradise

and then to karaoke afterward

The lo and behold One Direction flies to Florida the very next day to film their Pepsi commercial. They're gone until September 11th.

on September 6, 2012 Taylor has Sushi with Ed and Harry in LA supposedly signaling the start of Haylor 2.0 as if Harry is not fully boyfriends with Nick.

26. September 12, 2012 - Nick's final nighttime show. (this was a gif of them being cute and playing around but I was too lazy to bring it over, you get it they’re touchy, flirty, and playful):

Nick and Aimee go on vacation together from the 14th to the 18th.

27. September 18, 2012 - This dude says he spotted Harry Styles waiting in arrivals at the airport while waiting for his sister's flight to arrive insinuating perhaps Harry was traveling with Nick and Aimee:

28. September 20, 2012 - iTunes Festival where One Direction was interviewed by Nick and Annie Mac

29. Harry calls into Nick's first Breakfast Show on September 25, 2012. Then they meet up after to see Perks of Being a Wallflower together. I can't find the tweets from the ladies who saw them there, but Nick and Emma Watson confirm later that Harry was indeed there.

30. September 29, 2012 - Spotted at Waitrose together and then the following morning Nick regales his listeners with the tale of a Spinach pie he made for a ~friend~.

31. October 5th (or 6th?), 2012 - Preparation for Ladz FM

But also on October 5th, Taylor is on Nick’s show:

32. October 6, 2012 - Ladz FM

Supposedly on this show Nick gives Harry hell for Taylor, the Haylor timeline I like puts it this way:

“One Direction and Harry make an appearance on Nick’s show the following day, and they talk about Taylor on-air for 4 minutes straight. Nick teases Harry by saying “Ol’ Swiftyyyy” over and over again when she is brought up in the conversation.” Yup that’s right, Nick was giving his own boyfriend shit about his fake girlfriend 😭😭😭 this is why I fuck w Nick’s energy.

then they went for lunch in notting hill (no Taylor? why not Harry aren’t you so happy to be back with her and in love w her?)

33. October 7, 2012 - BBC Teen Choice Awards

One Direction doing promotion for the new album.

Paris - October 11, 2012

Ireland - October 12, 2012

Manchester - October 16, 2012

Leeds - October 17, 2012

34. October 19, 2012 - Lunch in London

October 31 - One Direction in Spain

Early November One Direction goes to the US for Ellen, X Factor USA, and The Today Show. After The Today Show Harry flies to LA while the rest of One Direction goes back to London. Harry writes a song with the lead singer of Snow Patrol and rumors start flying about him hooking up with Taylor Swift.

Harry arrives back in London on November 16, 2012.

35. November 16, 2012 - Children in Need benefit concert

November 30th One Direction goes back to the U.S. for one off shows and MSG show. Haylor happens.

Harry returns to London on December 8th via Taylor's private jet and plays the Jingle Ball with the rest of One Direction. Harry and Taylor tour the UK together until December 15th when Taylor leaves for France.  Meanwhile Dianna heads out on a mystery 14 hour long flight on December 14th.

36. December 16, 2012 - Roast Dinner!

One Direction returns to the U.S. for the X Factor USA finale. Harry stays in the U.S. and goes on a ski vacation with Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber, and Selena Gomez.

He returns to the UK on December 24th.

37. December 25, 2012 - Late night Christmas leftovers. (Yes they’re spending Christmas together, that’s boyfriend behavior!)

Harry and Nick both leave London on the 29th (Nick for Puerto Rico and Harry for NYC) Harry spends New Years with Taylor and Nick spends New Years with Pixie, Aimee, and the rest of the hipster crew. Harry and Taylor then fly to Gorda British Virgin Islands where they are supposed to vacation until the 7th. Taylor leaves on the 4th and Harry goes to Necker Island alone. Tabloids say Harry and Taylor have broken up.

And that’s it for Haylor!

Harry arrives back in the UK on January 8th

38. January 8, 2013 - Sushi lunch date! (tweet confirming nick was also there.)

and harry with the girl who tweeted it.

39. January 10, 2013 - Tinie Tempah's GQ dinner.

The party was for people on the British GQ best dressed list (Nick was on it. Harry was not.)

Jessie J puts a picture of the table cards from her table on instagram. Harry doesn't have one which, you know. I'll just be here imagining him as Nick's + 1.

One Direction fly to Ghana on the 12th or 13th and return on the 15th. On the 16th Harry calls into Grimmy’s show to talk about how Fincham DOES NOT LOOK LIKE A MEMBER OF ONE DIRECTION. Finchy asks Harry when he’s back and Harry says “in a couple of days”. (Small side note here that I don’t think Finchy and Harry are at the level of friends where they keep track of one another’s schedules so the only way Finchy could have known that Harry was heading back out of town to Japan that very day is if Nick told him.)

One Direction in Japan from January 16th to the 20th.

I'm not going to count this as a time they were together because I have no hard evidence, but the night of January 20th Harry was spotted in a grocery store buying wine and Annie Mac mentions on her show that Nick ditched coming over for dinner that evening to have a friend round to his house instead. We assume it was Harry, but w/o actual proof I don't want to say it concretely.

40. January 21, 2013 - Baking for Radio 1! (Tweet confirming the friend was Harry.)

Nick tells this story the morning of the 22nd about how he forgot he had to bake, so he got up from bed, went to the store for supplies, and forgot eggs. So, he texted his friend who was coming over to bring eggs and then Nick baked while his friend yelled at him to add more butter.

41. January 22, 2013 - Watching Great British Bake Off

Do what you will with this one. Obviously there is not definite way to tell if this is Harry or not, but given the evidence of the amount of time they spend together that has been laid forth thus far, I feel comfortable saying those are indeed Harry's legs.

42. January 31, 2013 - Out for Harry's birthday at La Bodega Negra (the same place they celebrated Nick's birthday.)

Nick also went to Groucho Club afterward with Harry and mentioned on his show this morning that he hadn't slept at all. (He was still wearing the same outfit.)

43. February 1, 2013 - Aimee tweets about being in the car with Nick en route to play Laser Quest. (Can't imagine who they might be playing with.)

Nick tweeted this :)

Never

Getting

Over

This

February 19, 2013 - PreBrit Awards Dinner Hosted by Nick!

THEIR SMILEY LITTLE FACES. :3

Legit SHARING A TAXI ON THE WAY HOME

2/20/13 - At the Brit Awards together!

Leaving an after party!

taking a cab to Nick's house so Nick can change for work

hands hands hands

At Nick's flat

 2/21/13 - On The Breakfast show the morning after the Brits!

Harry on The Breakfast Show!

2/23/2013 - Nick attends One Direction's first show at the O2 in London

THE DROUGHT IS OVER!!!

8/21/2013 - Nick interviews Harry, Zayn, and Liam for TBS

Then Nick and Harry hook up later for dinner.

September 12, 2013

Harry gets off the plane from LAX, gets on the tube and meets Nick at an Elton John concert

Harry and Nick's dad at the concert, posted to Nick's instagram.

September 13, 2013

This person says they saw nick and Harry at Apartment 58 (members only club) together

https://twitter.com/LightbownL/status/378610145271771136

But, Sadie Frost also posted a picture of her and Nick getting ready to go out for LFW with no mention of Harry, so the tweet could be false facts.

But then! September 14, 2013

Sadie posts this picture of Nick sleeping on her sofa

Followed by this picture of Harry posing with her daughter

And then Nick and Harry went to Henry Hollands show at LFW together

Then to a pub with Gemma, Kelly Osborn and others

Then to dinner with James Corden and his wife

September 15, 2013

September 17, 2013 - Fashion Show East in London

November 9, 2013 - Breakfast with Anne and Robin at the Wolseley.

So Anne tweeted this in the morning. You can see the Wolseley logo at the top of the plate.

Then this girl got a pic with Harry at the Wolseley during his breakfast with Anne and Robin.

and she confirmed that Nick was eating with them https://twitter.com/alexandra_imper/status/400204985222193152

Then off to Selfridges to shop!

At Alexa Chung's birthday party!

November 10, 2013 - Ladz instagram and Aimee Phillips birthday party!

LADZ VIDEO!

November 30, 2013

Harry playing with Puppy at Nick's house.

Poppy Delevingne's hen party!

Leaving Groucho club.

December 1, 2013

Primrose Hill lighting ceremony!

Nick with Daisy Lowe and his dad!

Then this girl met Nick

https://twitter.com/rpcheald/status/407224559687852032/photo/1

and saw Harry

https://twitter.com/rpcheald/status/407209332858552320

Class of '92 movie premiere

Nick and his dad on the red carpet

Harry meeting Beckham!

December 4, 2013 - London Fashion Awards

February 17, 2014 - Taking a random taxi ride?????

and leaving Nick's flat

March 29, 2014

Sleepover at Harry's house!

Nick posted this on instagram

http://instagram.com/p/mHpTBdPJyt/

At the time we weren't sure it was Harry's drive but...

https://twitter.com/cuppanarryx/status/481310537817399296/photo/1

Hiya, doggie.

Also Nick's tweet from the morning after just because.

https://twitter.com/grimmers/status/449814322399940609

May 24, 2014 - Radio 1's Big Weekend

May 28, 2014 - Barry's BC London

And link to post about the other tweets x

June 8, 2014

Nick attends One Directions show at Wembley Stadium.

June 12, 2014

Harry at Nick driving around London in a Ferrari.

and another tweet about the Ferarri sighting.

https://twitter.com/ItsJustMikey/status/477133631602065408

Then later that evening Harry went to Nick's for his World Cup barbecue and fans took pics with Harry outside Nick's house.

[localhypnofruit]

"WE DON'T NEED [[MIKE]]!"

Not me going off and making an entire writing based off of This Post I made a little while ago.

[It's also on AO3 if you wanna read it there.]

A banquet full of foods and plenty of drinks- both containing and lacking in acid- was set out before Spamton. Though he needed extra height upon his chair in order to reach anything, the Swatchlings were more than accommodating to the oddly short Addison. Excitable 'thank you's were given to each helper, though this feast was more than just a welcoming party for such a BIG SHOT- it was also an introductory party for Spamton to introduce himself to all of the staff he would be working with. As a salesman who made pitch after pitch to get himself up here, with more than a bit of help along the way, a few more first impressions wouldn't be that much of a stressor on the Addison's mind! Or... They shouldn't.

In truth, if Spamton were to count the number of times he's avoided saying something by setting a slice of non-battery acid pie into his mouth, or sipping from his orange-colored- and flavored- tea... He would have more than he could count on both of his hands! Over the phone or through some sort of video call- sure, he could handle himself fine! But this? In-person? It was a whole new beast! At a whole new feast! The awkward laughs he had to attempt to force into a genuine sound, the small talk that he just couldn't stand, the unpredictability of another's actions and needing to adjust and 'read' the expressions to remember what they would mean for later- Ah, it was all so stressful! It also didn't help his attire still held the same look as any other Addison out there, just... snipped up to be smaller.

Tasque Manager's orderly nature was nice, though that quite literally shocking weapon and her ability to use it was more than enough of a stressor for the Addison to know not to get on her bad side. The Swatchlings were loyal and loving creatures, somehow the most complex to read since their colors could mean multiple things. Was the red anger? Blush? Embarrassment? There are so many things one color could mean! There was a consideration of getting a look that was lacking in colors, just to avoid the same confusion- even if he wasn't a Swatchling. The Queen? Ah, what a blast to be around, though this pompous and energetic nature- as well as the power she held- was too much for Spamton to handle for long. What was once a lively conversation about how batteries should always come in liquid form quickly spiraled into being offered a bath in the acid lake... to which Spamton humbly declined.

The banquet seemed to go on and on and on...! Was there no end to the denizens of this place that he needed to know? The living advert nervously chuckled to himself as he allowed a Swatchling to switch out his orange color-flavored tea to something more relaxing- a nice blue color-flavored tea. It smelled faintly of blueberries- a scent that accidentally got into his nose. It was so long, he always needed to take caution in sipping from things as to not dip his nose in it! And lo and behold, there he goes! Tea on his nose!

But there was one more individual that Spamton had heard in passing... One that instructed all the Swatchlings... What was their name again? Drying his nose off with a napkin, the Addison would watch with tired eyes behind glimmering glasses as the door at the other end of the table would open. "COME IN, COME IN!" The short one would force chipperness into his voice, though it crackled with static of how much effort it took to keep himself going so 'happily'. "FEEL [FREE OF CHARGE] TO SIT [WHEREVER IT'S MOST CONVENIENT FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY]!"

It would take a moment for the advert to see anyone, no thanks to the large megabyte-sized cake that was sat at the very center of the table. Only a few slices had been taken out of it... Spam hoped it wouldn't be wasted- or at least it would be taken to the trash for other lost ones like how he once was. And though he had not yet seen who this visitor was, the cooing voice that spoke up brought ease to his weary code, doubly with the message they had to share. "I have no need to sit, Master Spamton... We will not remain here for much longer, as I am the last you are required to see." Oh, thank [HEAVEN] he wouldn't have to be here for much longer.

"THAT'S [F-F-FANTASTIC!] THESE [CRACKING BONES] OF MINE HAVE BEEN WAITING TO GET SOME [REST EASY FOR ONLY $29.99 A NIGHT]!" Spamton would speak with a hearty chuckle, leaning to the side to try and catch a glimpse of the approaching individual. And to his surprise, the one that he spotted was... Such a sight! Black and white attire, colored glasses that rested upon such a long nose- which was a beak, he quickly noted- and fluffed feathers that seemed to be combed back to a perfect took. He... Was quite jealous of such a look.

"I understand that all of this must have taken a toll on you, so we can keep introductions short if you wish." Spamton wasn't sure if he was nodding as an answer or simply due to being enamored with this avian's aesthetic. It was just so... Striking! Bold! [ADJECTIVE]! "Right, allow me to introduce myself first... As I already have surmised quite a bit about you." A voice as smooth as a song made of silk... Such a contrast to the chirping of the other Swatchlings he's heard from.

"I am Mike Swatch, though you may address me however you see fit, Master Spamton." "JUST CALL ME SPAM- SPAMTON! WITHOUT THE [UNCONTROLLABLE STUTTERING WHEN CARRYING OUT A CASUAL CONVERSATION?], OF COURSE! HOWZ ABOUT I CALL YOU MIKEY?" "Quite the unique nickname, Spamton... I accept." "WONDERFUL! SO YOU'RE THE [HEAD HONCHO] OF THE SWATCHLINGS, [AIN'TCHA]?" "Indeed, sir." Mike's glasses seemed to cool from their orange and yellow to more of a blue and cyan. Spamton wished he knew what that meant, but all he could do was observe and hope that this conversation would end sooner than later. As much as his fascination with this birdperson was able to ward off some of his drowsiness, he could still feel his coding attempting to go into sleep mode. "YOU RAISE SOME GREAT FEATHERED FRIENDS WITH WHATEVER [AFFORDABLE GROW-UP PLAN] YOU'RE PUTTING THEM THROUGH! I APPLAUD YOU! YOU AND YOUR [SURE TO SWEEP THAT SPECIL SOMEONE OFF THEIR FEET] STYLE SURE ARE GOING PLACES!!" "Ah? Why thank you. Your products, too, have caused quite the stir in all of Cyber City. The automobile market has been booming since you brought it back with all your new makes and models. If I may be somewhat informal, I would say one of your best inclusions is the cupholders."

"OF COURSE, OF COURSE! LEAVE IT TO YOUR [BRAND SPANKIN' NEW] PAL SPAMTON TO MAKE AN INDUSTRY [LITERALLY EXPLODE] IN POPULARITY!" With a laugh, the Addison would narrowly lose his glasses, a cheap and broken pair he's kept with him for who knows how long. In his tiredness, they had dropped from his face... but a certain avian was thankfully right in front of him- able to catch it in their feathered hand in one fell swoop. "Oh dear, Spamton... It seems that you have been holding out here for even longer than my Swatchlings said you have been... Are you fully conscious at this moment?" The swaying in his chair that Mike observed seemed to show otherwise, which was given some sort of jumbled admittance. Perhaps he was too embarrassed to admit to being tired in front of someone that was deemed so 'important'?

With a caring smile, Mike would pick up the sleepy Addison and gently place him over their shoulder. "Let us get you back to your room..." A suit warmed by the feathers underneath it... And the ones that strayed from being under such luxurious cloth that happened to rub against Spamton were softer than any bedsheets he'd laid upon... Then again, he'd only ever laid upon torn up, tattered, and trashed ones until recently. This was... Somewhat embarrassing! Being picked up and carried around by the head butler that he had just met, but-! Perhaps he overestimated his ability to stay awake! The warmth Spamton felt upon his exhausted mannequin-like body was practically enough to set him to sleep right then and there. He would at least have to thank Mikey for this, since they truly didn't need to- "Perhaps tomorrow... We can set you up with some new glasses." They would do that... for him? "If there is enough time, perhaps an entirely new outfit is in order. Those tattered robes make you look like a little sponge covered in used wash rags..." Little... sponge? Haha. He liked the sound of that, even if it wasn't meant as a compliment. And a- a new outfit to boot? Well, more like to reboot into... Being a BIG SHOT means BIG CHANGES, after all! Though at this moment, as Spamton could barely register that his little body had been plucked up and placed onto somewhere just as soft as Swatch's shoulder...

All he truly needed right now was a BIG NAP.

[elizabeatrice]

Episode 12 - The Little Mermaid

Let’s Talk About JSHK Anime #3

Warning: Manga spoilers for The Little Mermaid arc, The Clock Keeper arc, and chapter 64!!! (just a bit, skip point no. 5, 6, and 10 if you don’t want to get spoiled) Also … this ended up way longer than I intended.

Well that was one heck of a feels trip. It’s probably my new favorite episode, just because everyone is here being wholesome lmao.

This is mostly hananene meta I ain’t even gonna lie.

Before we begin, shout out to Black Canyon, our newest anime cutie pie. Just look at him, folks. Just chilling with his sunflower seed.

He has no idea the kind of life his owner leads.

I said before that the best part of episode 12 is how it made Daydream worse, so now I’m gonna ramble about it.

“Maybe different species can’t understand each other after all.”

“Maybe it would be better if I were an apparition too.”

This is my favorite part of the episode. And no, not in the sense that I want Nene to die just so that she and Hanako can be together. But because of how Lerche actually explored deeper what was said only once in the manga.

Well, both in the manga and anime Nene ended up accepting the mermaid’s blood because of her desire to be popular, but the anime decided to revisit what she said earlier in the episode.

Not only did that make her decision kinda less selfish, it’s also just … sad. Thinking that your friend, someone you really cared about, doesn’t trust you enough to tell you things about themselves, to the point where you’re willing to go to such lengths as turning into an apparition just to understand them.

And if you think about it, isn’t this part of her true wish? To have her feelings be reciprocated? Man I just realized that as I wrote this and I am mindblown.

She thought she finally got her wish with Hanako. I mean, he said it himself in the first ep (”You wanted someone, anyone, to return your feelings, right? And as far as you’re concerned, sharing a bond with someone is the same thing, right?”). So it must’ve hit her really hard when she thought he didn’t trust her. Especially with all the wrong ideas the fishes were feeding her mind.

Then we got this little flashback. At first I was like, “Girl, you really be thinking that he doesn’t care about you while recalling the moment he apologized to you and hugged you? Are you insane?”

But after some thinking of my own, it occurred to me. Maybe she was too used to having her feelings not reciprocated, she couldn’t believe it when someone finally did. Not to mention Hanako did kinda trick her with his fake confession a while back (heh, he’s not the only one with trust issues, eh?). And that just made the entire thing even sadder.

So when Nene said, “But I thought, if I were an apparition like you, I could get closer to you. Then, maybe I’d be able to understand you, Hanako-kun. Although I know I probably don’t mean anything to you.”

That was a harsh wake up call for Hanako.

(Btw even more full circle, Hanako brought up Nene’s wish to become human again in the first episode. Nice.)

So. We got one daikon girl who’s afraid of not having her feelings reciprocated, and one ghost boy who’s afraid that daikon girl wouldn’t be his friend anymore if she knew about his past.

While in actuality, said daikon girl already decided she wanted to and would be his friend no matter what, and ghost boy had grown to care about her more than he thought he would.

He heard what she said to Tsuchigomori. He knew all about regret, too.  I mean, honestly, I think if she had said no, he’d let her walk away right then and there, no questions asked. But she didn’t.

Nene’s wish finally came true here. And the best part? It wasn’t the work of magic or curses. Just Hanako finally shoving his fear aside, offering himself as he was, and letting her decide.

And she still chose to be with him.

Heh. Lemme just. Sob for a bit.

Is my hananene trash brain reading too much into this? Idk. Maybe.

So props to the production team for managing to add even more weight to this arc. Which, they had to, since it’s the season finale and all. But I love what they did!

Onto my commentaries!

1. The KouNene

Good shit. She was worried about him but he didn’t want her to worry so he just smiled it off? These two are precious. Thought they were gonna interact. Sadly not. Buuuut! (see point 12)

2. Hanako’s classroom visit

He. Is. So. Adorable. Someone please take his babey license away he’s too dangerous.

Hanako’s classroom visit is like my absolute favorite clingy Hanako moment, so I’m really happy I get to see it this season. Ugh. My kokoro. Hugging her from behind, that semi confession vibe … Smooth mf.

The Mokke brushing Nene’s hair!!! The radish hairdo tho lmao.

On a sidenote, as a history nerd I appreciate that they’re actually putting lessons in the background. And the teacher talked about Apollo 11 again??? While my boy was in the room? That ish both hurt and pleased me.

3. The Clock Keeper rumor drop

Heeeeeehhhhh? What’s thiiiiiissss?

4. This freaking thing

*flips table* Darn production team been knew I’m hananene trash how dare they do this to me.

And lookie here there’s Kodama chilling.

5. Fishies! (!!!manga spoiler for The Little Mermaid arc!!!)

Pufferfish didn’t die. Well, good for him. Also I can’t believe they just call the other fish ‘yeah yeah’ lmao what the freak. Has it always been like that in the manga?

6. AOI AND AKANE (!!!spoilers for chapter 64!!!)

I swear I did not intend this numbering coincidence.

*claps* Boi. Nene asking Aoi about cutting ties with someone she’s interested in? And then Akane just swooped in and say he’d rather cut his head off than cut ties with Aoi? What about getting impaled, huh, boy? Would that do?

The not-so-subtle call out to these two pairs’ parallel? BOI.

7. Nene and Yako

These two just chilling together having girl talk, and Yako let Nene pet her? That’s some adorable shit right there. Admit it Yako you like her.

Yako also be really hitting home with what she said. It was extra heavy coming from her, considering what happened to her and Misaki. Boiiiiii.

8. Tsuchigomori

Oh my God, his laughter. Just … oh my God.

Tsuchigomori in dad mode is always one of the highlights of the episode/chapter.

By the way, in this scene according to the sub, Nene asked Tsuchigomori who Tsukasa is. But she knew who he is already. Is it possible that the sub misinterpreted it? ‘Cause I think what she actually meant was, “What happened to him and Tsukasa-kun in the past?”

If someone who speaks Japanese could share their wisdom, please do!

9. The 5 pm bell and twilight

Look how pretty they are!!!

Lo and behold, another important hananene interaction while the 5 pm bell plays in the background. Also, twilight? Y’all giving me Kimi no Na wa flashbacks.

“Twilight, when it’s neither day or night. When the world blurs and one might encounter something not human.”

Huh … kinda fits the ‘boundary’ concept but it still hurt.

Anyway they still had Hanako tell her what she already knew. And I did say in my ‘Walking Blind’ post that it’d be redundant. But since the episode kinda emphasized Nene’s desire to understand Hanako, having him actually tell her himself, even though she already knew it, was a big deal. It’s not about what she knows, it’s about him opening up to her. So I’m super cool with it.

10. The Broadcasting Club (!!!spoilers for The Clock Keeper arc!!!)

I love how Natsuhiko and Sakura are actually decent people. When he told Mitsuba that he was free to choose to stay with them or not? That’s solid, man. Though, of course, Tsukasa might not be as kind.

Speaking of, I know it couldn’t be anything else, but I’m still not sure if Tsukasa’s drawing was confirmation for season 2. Don’t wanna get my hopes up. Imma just enjoy what I currently have.

Kinda curious, though. Because Clock Keeper wasn’t Tsukasa’s doing. Maybe he was the one who released Mirai? But tbh I’d prefer if it wasn’t so. Because having more cases of supernaturals going loco without it being one of Tsukasa’s games is interesting, and kinda underlines the need of The Seven Wonders to keep supernaturals in check.

11. Kodama just chilling

12. The Adventures of Minamoto and the Summer Vegetables

You go, Kou! I’m rooting for you oh my God you’re so precious.

And look at that ikemen smile! Him supporting Kou is just top notch sweet y’all I can’t-

Ngl this was the biggest surprise of the episode. Teru finding out that summer vegetables = Nene? Broooooo. Interesting. I don’t think this little addition warrants any changes to their future interaction, so it should be safe. Clever replacement, too, those veggies.

It’s so sweet that Nene delivered those veggies to Kou! Just imagine the Minamoto family having veggies for dinner. Awww.

(Also, Nene wrote her name in hiragana instead of kanji. Is that a reference to how bad Kou is with kanji? Lol, so sweet)

13. The Coda!!!

Look at him. Just look at him. Look how lovesick he is y’all I can’t-

THEY’RE SO ADORABLE.

All in all, I love this episode. Sorry for how long this post is. I’m just dealing with so many feels right now. Gaaahhhhh.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

*DASHES INTO THE ROOM, STRANGELY PHYSICAL HEARTS SPILLING OUT OF MY ARMS*

I HEARD ASH NEEDED LOVE TODAY AND I’M HERE TO TELL YOU 25 REASONS YOU ARE INCREDIBLE BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT. SO HERE WE GO, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER, 25 SUPER COOL AWESOME ASH THINGS THAT MAKE MY DAY BRIGHTER

1) your blog name is just!!! Really cool!!! To this day, I don’t know why, it’s just a daily source of giddiness. Love me a blog with a really cool play on word name and hey howdy hey look what we got here, a super cool blog with a super cool name

2) you are so amazingly kind??? And incredibly involved with your readers??? You are the sort of writer I thought existed when I was a smol sheltered bean and lo and behold one of my first outings I find a super awesome cool and interactive writer who cares??? So much about what she’s putting out into the world, and how it affects others??? You are both an inspiration and a gift??

3) thanksgiving lives in my head rent free, day after day, minute after minute. Catch me sweeping up popcorn at work and all of a sudden my brain is starting my cinematic presentation of stuff being spooned onto a pitifully empty plate, and the warmth of the holidays being stolen away by the things that lurk in grey eyes :)

4) you and your blog have (has? Grammar. Bleh) been such a source of wisdom, and it’s just wonderful. I know I can’t be the only one. You share so many wonderful resources, and you *care* so much I just. Yeah. You’re incredible. I cannot even begin to explain how much I’ve benefited from running across this wonderful place.

5) I cannot speak about the amazing things that comprise ash without going absolutely bonkers about your w r i t i n g. I just. You are so good at layering meaning upon meaning upon meaning into your works, until they become this beautiful, colorful sedimentary formation of gorgeous intent and heartbreaking subtext.

6) and beyond just subtext, IMAGERY, ASH. IMAGERY. I COULD WANDER DOWN YOUR SPRAWLING CORRIDORS OF DESCRIPTION FOR HOURS. GET LOST IN ALL THE LITTLE NOOKS AND CRANNIES WHERE DETAILS LIE AND MY HEART GOES TO BE FULL AS WELL AS TO SHATTER

7) just about any time I’m up early I see a happy little green discord bubble that makes my heart go ☀️❤️ and I’m not a morning person, but it always puts me in a happy mood to start my day

8) hello random point here!! Just for me to say you’re amazing and I love you!! I’m allowed to do that cause I made the rules :P

9) you are taking a break!!! A well deserved, wonderful break to rest the ash head!!!!! Take care of the ash brain!!! For inside it are many wonderful things!!! Many amazing gifts to this world that you bless us with!!! Take care of the ash!!!

10) now I will sing a song: *clears throat* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH HOW I LOVE THE ASH OC’S, THE ASH OC’S, THE ASH OC’S! HOW I LOVE THE ASH OC’S THAT BREAK MY HEART IN TWO

11) you were the first whump writer I ever really came into contact with! That’s not to say I hadn’t read whump before, but I had never interacted with anyone before. And nervous little me stuck my head in and you went HELLO WELCOME WE’RE ALL VERY FRIENDLY HERE HAVE A SLICE OF HEARTACHE PIE AND JOIN THE FUN and I cannot thank you enough for that

12) your profile picture. Please. It gives me so much serotonin

13) stop I’m already gay. This comes with no context but it doesn’t even need it. You know who this is about.

14) Chris owns my entire heart and also my soul 🥺 so does Kauri, come to think of it 🥺 and Jake 🥺 and Krista 🥺 and-

15) I FINISHED THE BAD ARC RECENTLY AND HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME. HOW DARE YOU DO SUCH A FANTASTIC JOB RIPPING MY HEART TO PIECES IN SUCH A BRILLIANT MANNER. HOW DARE YOU MAKE SOMETHING SO gOOD HURT SO BAD. HOW DARE-

16) Teach me to write pls you are a goddess of prose and I bow at your altar

17) HEY GUESS WHAT IT’S ANOTHER RANDOM BLURB WHERE I JUMP IN AND REMIND YOU THAT I LOVE YOU IN CASE YOU FORGOT WHAT THIS WAS ALL ABOUT! YOU ARE FANTASTIC! YOU ARE SPLENDED! KIND! IMPORTANT! TRULY MAGNIFICENT!

18) never has someone ever managed to make me so worked up over a roomba, I swear to god I am more invested in Kiera’s well-being than I am in my own, PLEASE TELL ME MY FUNKY LITTLE VACUUM MAKES IT

19) Vincent! Shield! Breaks! My! Heart! Someone! Please! Help! Him! For! The! Love! Of! God! Please! Just that whole...kauri’s whole....and Owen and....😭 you have such good concepts and they break me to pieces and the (minimal though it is) comfort stitches it back together and ASHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

20) five more left! Five more left! Cause I can only fit 25 in! But there is! so much more! About the Ash! Of that I’m sure! Look out. Here comes the Ash love!

21) this is specifically a me thing, but in following some of the discourse that passes through your blog, I have learned a *lot* about the world, and about myself. I won’t give specifics, but you actually encouraged me to talk with someone, and secure a diagnosis that I’ve been holding off on for a long time. And it has opened up so many pathways, and helped me see the world in such a different light and I just. I can never really thank you enough for that?

22) I can never get enough of how amazing you are at flipping the usual narrative on its head, and drawing out such crucially important morals from it? God I just. Ash

23) you’re still here! You’re still going! The world is a crazy place, and the internet even crazier, but look at you! You’re here! In spite of it all, it’s still you! And I thank my lucky stars every day for it!

24) this is just a fun fact but you are one of (5) blogs I keep post notifications on for, constantly. Tumblr and I are very fickle friends, but I cannot tell you how much it gives me a little rush of glee (or terror or sorrow or fear depending on the content) whenever I get that little banner pop up on my phone and it says ASHINTHEAIRLIKESNOW POSTED:

25) Number twenty five is simply, truthfully, and completely that you are Ash! You are wonderful, and brilliant, and a light in a world that gets pretty dim, every now and then. Even when your light feels a little grey, never let it go out ❤️ you are loved, and you are so very special, and you deserve tenfold of the goodness you put out.

ANYWAY, IN CONCLUSION: WE LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK ASH!!!!!

Anon, I have no response that can possibly match what I was sent here. This was delightful and it made me feel the same way I felt when I first saw the ‘boom da yada’ commercial for the Discovery channel, which is to say... awesome. Thank youuuuuu for this list!

[penaltybox14]

Decofiremen Interlude: Magic Trick

@zeitheist wanted a little more about Davey.  @darknight-brightstar @squad51goals

An interlude or: in upstate NY, family finds you.

"You know any card games, little fella?"

Antoine and Ellis are sitting at a table in the mess after what they call the settling bell, along with Jules and Betram.  They have bottles of birch beer and cola which Lieutenant Eddy procures at a bulk rate from one of the markets in the town nearby, and Ellis is shuffling a deck of cards that looks older than he is, so worn at the edges it might sprout a beard and run off to make its way in the world. 

Davey fingers his suspenders.  The same thick, dark, elasticized fabric as the big lads' have, the same plain linen shirt, the same blue trousers, taken in for him.  The wiry man with the big mustache that Capper calls Lufty Parker had to go into town to find him a pair of proper shoes - clawhoppers, Lufty and Capper had called the thick workboots from the County hospital.  Capper Birch had said, the damn things are built like rowboats, they'll bust his feet to sore hell.  So a pair of proper shoes, wrapped in parchment paper. 

When they'd got scuffed, out in the dirt yard with the grown boys, he'd tried to clean them as he had seen the others do, but he only got them gummy with polish and stained his fingers. 

Like this then, little fella, Jules Menlo had said, sitting on his bed and teaching him the right way - knock the mud off, give them a good brushing.  "Just a dab at a time, little circles with the soft cloth.  That's the way." 

So now he kept his boots done right, so they would shine just like the others' after morning mess.  This was what they called inspection, before the day began - shirts unwrinkled, trousers patched, shoes clean.  He was not called forward like the grown boys - the lads, that's what Capper Birch called them - but Ellis checked his hands each day, and reminded him to clean his teeth before he went to bed. 

They are soft toward him.  They are like father, some days - tall and distant, their hands growing callused on ropes as big as his arm, their muscles straining under rolls of hose that he thinks might unwind for miles.  They fight and they laugh and they push each other - sometimes upward, sometimes over and into the mud.  They are like father, who would tap his Latin declensions and his History essays and remind him that he needed to pay attention, and work hard, for these were things a man should know when he was grown.  Sitting at his little desk in the study, Davey had thought of being grown as a place very far away, where people had to wear starched collars all day and never get into trouble not even once.  Grown men, he was to understand, did not chase their sisters with snakes, or eat pie before it was cool.

"Mother said cards are troublemakers' games," he whispered, quite softly, feeling the eyes and the curiosity of these half-grown colts atop him like wet wool.  He twists a button on his trousers. 

"Hey, well," Ellis laughs.  "Mother's not here to scold you, is she?"

"No," he says, looking at the floor.  "Mother's dead." 

The grown-boys stop laughing at once.  He hears the soft clap of Antoine - Antoine's vitality is a force inside his mind, something like the light through leaded glass - cuffing Ellis about the head.

Betram, who plays the fiddle and is as tall and pale and thin as a cornstalk with flaxen hair like fledgling cupped in a hand, jiggles his foot on the boards.  "I have n' mother, either, little fella."

"You don't?" Jules Menlo, more hair on the sides of his face - black and tightly curled - than on his head which is close-cropped, who taught him to sew his buttons back on, puts his cola down.  "Well, how'd you get here, then?"

"Well, I for sure guess I did have a mother, but I n' know her, so I say I have n' mother."

"My maman went away," Antoine remarks.  "My uncle said she went to work in the mills, so I went looking for her.  Then I met Captain Monroe, and I came here."

They are different - the lot of them - from anyone he has ever known, but he doesn't know how, and it comes to him in pulses and then, swiftly, slips from his reach.  Davey won't tell them, but sometimes he walks into their dreams.  When they are children there, he plays with them.  When they are grown, he hangs back into the echo of bells and motors and barking dogs.  When he tells Capper Birch about this, he says that they are nice boys, and that he never had any brothers, but they would be nice brothers.  Capper tells him this is what the firemen call the Sear.  Capper says it comes from deep inside, Capper says it's sort of like a coal that's buried under ash in the fireplace but it's still hot, still glowing, and if you dusted it off and gave it some air and some paper and some kindling you'd get the whole blaze going again.  Says that men who have it are different, and that's why they come here.

But he is just a boy.  He's too young even to go away to school - or he was, before. 

Do you have the Sear, Capper?

Yeah, of course.

Do Lufty and Eddy?  And Captain Monroe, and Captain Kittredge and Captain Jackson?

Yeah, them too, we all do.

What about the grown boys?

No, not yet.

How come I got it, and the grown boys don't?

The fire brought it.

But I didn't want it, Capper.

"How bout for cards, little fella?  You know a hand or two?"

He shakes his head again.  He knows checkers, and father was teaching him chess, and he was almost learning it.  He used to play Go Fish with Lyddie, under mother's watchful eye.  He would do puzzles with mother and father, on winter evenings when the sun laid down early in her snowy blankets.  Lyddie was too restless for the puzzles, but Davey had an eye for them, so father said.  Father said, he just seems to know the picture without even a glance at the box.  Mother ruffled his hair and remarked on his cleverness, as the pieces just seemed to come to hand.  They were so beautiful and intricate - father ordered them from Salem, and they came in little boxes, hand-cut pieces shaped like bells and stars and mysterious islands in the Tropics.  Whenever they would solve one, mother would write the date on the box. 

The pieces just - just come to him, like the dreams of the lads in the bunkroom.  The puzzles and the parlor with the wind rattling the shutters is a soft place, a kind place where he was allowed to stay up late in slippers just to finish the picture. 

A few other lads in the mess hall are reading, or writing letters. 

"I bet you like magic," Ellis says.  "I bet I could teach you some."

He asked Capper if the Sear was a kind of magic.  Capper shrugged.  His brace had squeaked softly with his shifting. 

"Come on, come watch."  And Ellis fans out the deck.  "Pick a card, my son.  Pick any card."

So he does, cautiously, sliding one card from the deck, which feels electric, which feels like Ellis. 

"Now don't show me, just keep it to yourself."

Jack of hearts.  The knave, the knight. 

"Pop it back in, wherever you like, there."

Ellis shuffles the cards.  He feels them move, as if Ellis' long arms are the ocean and the cards the foam atop the waves.  Breathe in, breathe out, the cards move along like lighting down a branch, bolting the sky to the ground.  His jack is somewhere in there.  He looks for it, and finds the Sear escaping and climbing Ellis' arms before he can pull it back. 

The cards move and split and cut. 

"Now, is this your card?"

But the card is already moving.  "No - "

"How 'bout this?" Ellis says, his fingers flicking to his ear, and there, lo and behold, the jack of hearts.  Ellis is grinning.  The grin spreads to his own face. 

"Yes!" Then blinking.  "How'd you do it?  How'd you - "

Ellis holds himself primly.  "Magic!" He says.  "Now come on, we'll teach you Rat's Crew - no gambling, no magic, just good old-fashioned fast eyes and quick on the draw."

Jules has already pulled up a chair, and he kneels on it, for he is a head and more shorter than these lads, these grown-boys, these brothers.  The lamplight is steady, and their hearts around him, knaves the lot, are bright and beating and alive. 

I didn't want it, he told Capper.  I didn't want the sear.

It doesn't matter, Capper Birch had said.  It wanted you.

[tatticstudio55]

Hi, Mela here. Just wondering What you like about Dany and Arya?

Hi Mela!

For Dany:

"Let them come. In me they shall find a sterner foe than Cleon. I would sooner perish fighting than return my children to bondage." - Dany IV, ADWD

I love everything this quote says about Dany. 1) She’s talking to Hizdahr, who she has every reason to consider a serious political figure (and potentially serious threat), 2) Hizdahr, for all she knows, could be passing messages to her enemies, including the ones threatening Astapor at the moment, and 3) she’s basically using herself as a bait, trying to divert the yunkish forces from Astapor by implying that there would be little honor to be found in defeating someone like Cleon anyway. Oh, and 4) we know she meant it when she said that she’d die rather than allow her children to be enslaved again, as her upcoming chapter(s) will show, and 5) she’s asserting herself as, above all, a warrior in this quote. A warrior in a tiny package, but lo and behold, that tiny package can inflict a lot of damage.

I love Dany for all of this. I love that she’s brave, smart, sly, cunning, I love that she owns up to her mistakes (LOL at the show, they completely missed this), that she hungers along with her people, I love that she’s so protective of them. I love that she ends her talk with Hizdahr by saying that she “may still want a magic sword” if they marry (that’s kinda cute). I love that she’s so little and appears so delicate yet can tame dragons.

For Arya:

For one, I love how her chapters are written. They’re just so… cute?

Yielding:

“Hot Pie was stirring the kettles with a long wooden spoon when Arya returned to the kitchens. She grabbed up a second spoon and started to help. For a moment she thought maybe she should tell him, but then she remembered the village and decided not to. He'd only yield again.”

Ser Lyonel:

“The gates were open, soldiers coming and going, drays rolling in empty and going out creaking and swaying under their loads. She thought about going to the stables and telling them that Ser Lyonel wanted a new horse. She had the paper, the stableboys wouldn't be able to read it any better than Lucan had. I could take the horse and the sword and just ride out. If the guards tried to stop me I'd show them the paper and say I was bringing everything to Ser Lyonel.”

“Yes, Arya thought. Yes, it's you who ought to run, you and Lord Tywin and the Mountain and Ser Addam and Ser Amory and stupid Ser Lyonel whoever he is, all of you better run or my brother will kill you, he's a Stark, he's more wolf than man, and so am I.”

Arya with Weasel? Weasel hugging her leg? Gaahh, gets me every time.

And this:

"Then just leave him, Arry," Lommy pleaded. "They don't know about the rest of us. If we hide, they'll go away, you know they will. It's not our fault Gendry's captured."

"You're stupid, Lommy," Arya said angrily. "You'll die if we don't get Gendry out. Who's going to carry you?

"You and Hot Pie."

"All the time, with no one else to help? We'll never do it. Gendry was the strong one. Anyhow, I don't care what you say, I'm going back for him." She looked at Hot Pie. "Are you coming?"

Hot Pie glanced at Lommy, at Arya, at Lommy again. "I'll come," he said reluctantly.

This is the part where Arya wins Hot Pie over and I love it. Hot Pie is hit in the face with the fact that Arya will always have their backs no matter what. Her reply to Lommy is that nobody’ll be able to carry him for long if they don’t get Gendry back – Lommy, who isn’t useful to any of them and is more of a burden. It doesn’t matter that he’s dying, he’s still worth the effort of running back to the village and trying to save Gendry. And it doesn’t matter that Gendry should be as good as dead – he’s still worth the try too. Arya doesn’t stick to them because they’re useful to her, she sticks to them because she cares for them, that’s the core of who she is, and I think it’s wonderful.

[sleepycoffins-and-benhargreeves]

Yes! Steven rilling Andrew up is an daily thing tbh. I loved your observations on the last 3eps of worth it. The sounds they made in the savory pie ep were WILD, get a room (with only one bed lol, classic theme that i enjoy even if it's cliche❤️). Btw do you know this fic called sweet stuff? I rec it, Steven + dress is *chef kiss*. Also off topic i love those AU in which Andrew is a history teacher and Steven is an engineer and both are basically nerd af but in the cutest way possible

Steven, no matter how innocent, is just too naive at times to resist! He does things that are so innocent, and tbh, it sometimes flies by me as well, but Andrew always always notices so tbh, sometimes Steven doesn't even have to try and rile Andrew up lmao bitch gets riled up on his own

And Worth it’s last three ep’s? We all can just clearly see the heart eyes Steven and Andrew give each other. IT’S THAT STRONG. QUARANTINE CAN’T CONTAIN THEM lmao Also, I remember that part with Steven talking about soulmates and such, him calling him and Andrew soulmates and that’s just *sighs dreamily* they truly do love each other that much (PS: I keep forgetting to gif that part, I’ve been so busy recently lol)

AND YES YES, I KNOW THAT FANFIC IT IS FUCKING AMAZING UGHHHHHH  ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ It’s one of the few fics I always re-read (most of the fics I reread are either smut or age-regression tbh) Steven is a dress iss sooooo good, especially when he’s in his cute pastel fluffy element. That fanfic was an amazing mixture of fluffy and smutty and goddddd, the author really delivered to us! THEY MADE A MASTERPIECE *chef kiss as well*

AND DID YOU JUST SAY ENGINEER STEVEN!? *whips out a couple of my unfinished fanfics*

If I could direct your lovely attention here Anon lol, I made this promo post before for my Standrew Tenshibyou AU. This one is gonna be long as well and I haven’t finished it yet lmao but a bit of spoiler, Steven is an engineer here and while Andrew, not really a history teacher, is a dietician. I wanted him to have a job that still involves food, but more on research and I decided on this uwu  ❤️

tbh, that fanfic doesn’t even have a title yet lmao Can’t decide whether to name it as Angels & Demons or Angel Sanctuary tbh will think of more soon lol

I have another Engineer!Steven, but it’s also in the gothic-horror genre lmao It’s a Doctor Sleep AU, and more of a Stadamdrew rather than just Standrew  ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

but hmmmm History teacher Andrew and Engineer Steven is also a very good AU e.e I do love the idea of them being such nerds together e.e Anon, how dare u give me another idea lmaooo THIS IS A VERY GOOD IDEA THO

Okay, so let’s start it off like this:

Shane and Andrew work at the same university, they’re both history teachers so let’s just make this a huge university (idk how it is in America, but my old uni had double professors at times lol). Shane is trying to invite Andrew and Adam to one of their outings because Shane wants his fellow professor to go out and enjoy, he thinks Andrew is too focused on his work needs to loosen up a bit.

Andrew, begrudgingly, finally agrees as long as Adam goes along with him (Adam didn’t need to be persuaded, because he had a very healthy social lifestyle thank you very much). 

They meet at this swanky bar where Shane is off to meet his boyfriend Ryan. Ryan, incidentally, brought along his bestfriend Steven who just RECENTLY CAME OUT AS GAY. Ryan is trying to show his bestfriend a good time and maybe *nudge nudge* set him up with someone cute while he’s at it.

OH OH I WANT A LOVE TRIANGLE BETWEEN ADAM AND ANDREW AND STEVEN.

Adam really, only went along cuz he’s actually been pinning on Andrew for a while now, but Andrew hasn’t really noticed because too busy with work duh.

So the three of them meet at the bar and Andrew is actually pretty interested at Steven, he thinks he’s cute, he’s funny, and he has that bubbly personality that draws Andrew in... Too bad he looks like he’s more attracted to Adam though.

Adam flirts a little with Steven and they get along swimmingly well and it only adds to Andrew’s sour mood because hey he’s supposed to be having a good time, but the only guy he’s interested in doesn’t seem to notice him that much

So, the night ends, Adam gets Steven’s number and Andrew is just pissed off

Days pass, Steven and Andrew meet by accident!

Well, not entirely, because Shane actually invited Steven over to his class because he wanted Steven to demonstrate the history of chemicals when it came to the revolution of man and who better to explain chemistry than a chemist himself! 

So, Steven asks Andrew if he could help him find Shane because he got lost since the university is big and Andrew, seriously, Steven is cute and Andrew is a decent guy so he helps Steven out and they get to talking and one thing led to another, they’re getting coffee after work hours! Andrew is really not trying to get his hopes up, this is just a simple coffee, Steven just wants to take a break and all that.

So they get coffee, they talk alot, Steven is a big nerd with history as well and Andrew is all the more intrigued with him. Steven explains more the history of chemicals and such, and he’s so passionate and knowledgeable in his field that Andrew just can’t help but listen to him babble on and on about it. 

Then, Steven stops, looks at Andrew shyly and says “Sorry, I sometimes get carried away, hope I’m not boring you.” 

And Andrew’s all like shaking his head and saying “No, I love listening to you talk.” And Steven gets all blushy and happy and woah, Andrew loves seeing that.

By the end of their coffee “date”, Steven ends up inviting Andrew to a  convention. And to both of their surprises, it’s a CAT CONVENTION THAT THEY BOTH PLANNED ON ATTENDING. They both end up showing pictures of their cats, Steven with Simba and Andrew with Riceball and Wellington.

So Andrew is just really charmed, he really likes Steven and he can’t wait for their next ehem, “date”. He’s so excited he tells his bestfriend Adam about it.

Adam, although he did like Steven, has been pinning for Andrew for a long time now. So on the day of the cat convention, both Steven and Andrew meet Adam there as a surprise, Adam ambushed them lmaooo

Adam makes up some bullshit excuse about coming here because he was in the neighborhood and he thought he’d drop by, Andrew is suspicious because why would Adam suddenly come here? What is his ulterior motive here?

So the three of them hang out and Steven is a bit flustered because he likes BOTH Andrew and Adam and this is a bit awkward and there’s some tension here and there so yeah

So the convention ends and they all bid their goodbye’s, and Steven is a tiny bit upset because he wanted to really hang out with Andrew but, he was feeling shy around Adam. Yet at the same time, Adam didn’t really even call him back after that night at the bar.

So lo and behold! Andrew suddenly texts Steven on his way home, he wanted to know if Steven wants to hang out again and this time, maybe just the two of them? Andrew isn’t going to drop the date word yet, he wants to say it face to face cuz he’s that type of guy and Steven happily agrees!

SOOOO THEY GO ON “DATES” , Andrew hasn’t really dropped the date word yet, but Steven is always taking him on so many different places and good restaurants to eat at and the more Andrew spends time with Steven, the more he actually think that he may be falling in love and fuckkkk

wait, I want this to end in Stadamdrew

So, let’s develop Steven and Adam’s relationship this time.

Steven gathers up his courage and contacts Adam, he was planning on just telling Adam that it was nice to see him again after the cat convention. Adam decides to entertain Steven for now and they talk through text and woah, they actually really have a lot in common as well!

Steven is into photography and good books, they also have the same music tastes so they exchange and give recommendations to each other a lot. Steven told Adam that it’s okay if they’re just friends and he just wanted to hang out with him. Adam sees that there’s nothing wrong with giving the guy a chance so they go on book “dates”  together and go to music stores and laugh a lot and watch shitty movies together to make fun of and oh

oh no, Adam is actually genuinely starting to like Steven and fuck, this was not how he was intending for this to go but like, Steven is really great and he loves his smile, his laugh, and he is such a smart and talented person and fuckkk Adam got so whipped over Steven that he doesn’t even know why he didn’t bother to call Steven again after that night at the bar!

Meanwhile, Steven is having a crises! Oh no!

He likes both Adam and Andrew and they’re both bestfriends and fuckk!! Okay, he thinks that maybe they’re both just really nice and they aren’t really interested in him but, Steven really likes both of them and gosh, this is not how he wanted things to go down in his life right now

I’m thinking Andrew would make he first more here, like he would officially ask Steven out and Steven would be really ecstatic because like YES!! He does really like Andrew and gosh, he is so so happy to be dating him and they’re both having a great time together and Shane and Ryan keep teasing them and well...

Everything is great, but they both notice that Adam has become really distant and quiet recently. He’s been cancelling on hanging out and he doesn’t really talk to them that much anymore and Andrew is more concerned because Adam is best friend and he’s never seen Adam be like that, not since, he ehem got his heart broken so Andrew wants to make his friend happy again

Steven comes along to help out and they annoy Adam almost every day until Adam SNAPS and he gets pissed at both of them and then all confessions break out that Adam is actually really REALLY happy for them but at the same time he’s really not?! Because he likes both Andrew and Steven, and he’s really been pinning over Andrew for the longest time now and now that he’s seeing both Steven and Andrew together, two guys he really likes, he’s just really sad and jealous and he walks out and Andrew and Steven are stunned.

The boyfriends do a sleepover at Andrew’s place and they talk about it and Andrew realizes that oh fuck he really likes Adam as well and wow, Steven also really likes Adam and he was having a crisis before because he wanted to both date Andrew and Adam and damnnnn

So the ending is basically Steven and Andrew woo-ing Adam to become their boyfriend and it becomes a happy OT3 Stadamdrew  ❤️ The End  ❤️

jfc this got so long I am so sorry, I am supposed to be updating my fanfic but this happened lmaooooo hope u like it tho anon, this was a wild ride for me XD

[aslanjadecarlyle]

friendly reminder that call me by your name is one of the worst books to ever exist

Don’t believe me? Here’s my review that I left on Goodreads in September. Have fun (or not).

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2770610798?book_show_action=false&from_review_page=1 A grand total of: 1 Star ⭐️ My Review: (Edited To Add: When I first read this book, I, at the very least, thought that the author, Andre Aciman, was part of the LGBT+ community, but... NOPE! Asshole is a fucking STRAIGHT MAN. MOTHERFUCK.) And the most disappointing read of the year goes to... Lads, I hated this book. Absolutely fucking hated it. Hated it, hated it, hated it. Words cannot describe how much I fucking regret reading this book — it just might be one of the worst books I have /ever/ read. I literally cannot deal. There were a few different reasons why I hated this book, all of which I will go into, but there was one reason why I hated it most of all, and I’ll put that reason here: Elio. I. COULD. NOT. STAND. HIM. OH MY GOD. This asshole. Full disclosure, before I go on, I am asexual as fuck. I do not feel sexual attraction, never have, probably never will. I am also sex-repulsed — However, I AM sex-positive. Normally, I do not give a single fuck what people do in their sex lives as long as everything is legal and consensual, and as long as it doesn’t involve me. However, this little asshole was a motherfucking CREEP. I get it. He’s 17. Most 17 year olds who actually do feel sexual attraction are horny as fuck, all day, every day. They probably, like, look up porn and shit — before PornHub, there was Playboy. Can’t relate, but okay. It’s whatever. BUT THAT DOES NOT EXCUSE ANY OF WHAT THIS KID DID. (Pretty big spoilers from here on out, heyo). Right, so he pretty much starts lusting after Oliver 0.2 seconds after meeting the dude. It is literally your textbook definition of instalust, and if you looked it up in the dictionary you would see Elio’s face (do we ever even learn his last name???) in the dictionary. He starts fantasizing about Oliver’s cock right off the bat. Fine. Creepy, but whatever. I thought his little comment comparing Oliver’s ass and balls to an apricot was pretty cringey (he literally went as far as to call it Oliver’s “apricock”), but I would EASILY take a million apricocks over the bullfuckery (no pun intended) that happens next. But first, before we even get into the cringey sex shit, I would like to point out that there is a point somewhere in the beginning part of this book where Elio literally wishes that, “Oliver was a cripple in a wheelchair so he couldn’t run away.” If that’s not the direct quote, it’s pretty damn close. UMMM. Nice dose of casual ableism there, but okay. Moving on. Okay, so basically the context of the relationship is that Elio is a kid from Italy, and during the summer his parents run a vacation home. They rent out some rooms in the house, including Elio’s bedroom (he temporarily moves into a smaller spare bedroom whenever this happens). Oliver is an American and he’s vacationing in Italy for like 6 weeks, so they rent out Elio’s room and he moves into the spare during this time. Fantastic. So, pretty quickly after Oliver moves in for the summer, Elio catches him wearing swim trunks. Totally normal, it��s summer, it’s hot, and Oliver is staying at a resort near the beach. He is totally justified in wearing swim trunks during this time. Except Elio takes things to a whole new damn level, and after seeing Oliver in these evidently very sexy swim trunks, he sneaks into Oliver’s room. His justification of this very brilliant decision is basically, “Well, it’s actually MY room and he’s just borrowing it so I am TOTALLY JUSTIFIED in going through his belongings.” Right. Anyway, so this kid starts snooping through Oliver’s room (I will be calling it Oliver’s room during this review since he’s renting it). He starts snooping through their guest’s clothes and shit, starts going through his closet... and, lo and behold, what is the very first thing Elio finds in said closet? The very smexy swim trunks. (They’re red, in case you wanted to know). And so. What does Elio do upon finding these sexy red swim trunks? This absolute treasure among treasures? First, he takes the swim trunks out of the closet. And then... He :) holds the swim trunks up to his face :) and INHALES the scent of the inside of the crotch area :) where Oliver’s dick goes. :) BONUS POINTS: He also narrates that he wishes! he could find! “some sort of bodily fluid or a pubic hair!” 😍 I mean, what a guy, hey? *TV Announcer Voice* BUT! THAT’S! NOT! ALL! So while Elio is in Oliver’s room, he, naturally, has to strip naked and try on Oliver’s swim trunks. Because that is very clearly the next step in creepiness after inhaling some random dude’s cock-smelling swim trunks like it’s a goddamn Yankee candle. But that’s not even the weirdest thing that happens. I can’t remember if this happened before, during, or after Elio tried on the trunks (this entire scene was a goddamn nightmare — one of many), but at some point before leaving Oliver’s room, Elio gets on the bed, finds a pillow that Oliver brought with him, and :) dry humps :) the goddamn thing. :) Literally puts it between his legs and rides it out like a goddamn pony. Why I didn’t stop reading at that point, I will never know, but sometime after all this happens, a sort-of relationship forms between Elio and Oliver (more like a summer fling). I have no idea what Italy’s age of consent laws are, so that’s really not my place to say — I don’t want to seem like I’m defending the situation, and I know that most of my rant has been about Elio, but I just... the whole situation is really hard to judge, in my opinion. Oliver’s in his early 20s so the age gap isn’t HUGE huge, but he is American while Elio is Italian, different countries with different laws, so like... that further muddies the age of consent shit. But, even if the ages WEREN’T a problem, the relationship itself is a goddamn train wreck. Overthinking it all highkey stresses me out. Instead, Imma just tell y’all about an ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING thing that happened afterwards because WHAT THE FUCK. WHY WAS THIS IN A FUCKING BOOK. OH MY GOD. (I feel like I’m radiating strong Gus from How To Be A Normal Person vibes right now and, honestly, I need my inner Gus to get me through this shit because WHAT THE FUCK). So, they hook up and have sex for the first time. Whatever. I don’t even know what the fuck happened because, honestly, the writing style was not the best (I’ll rant about that later, if I make it through this shit) and they did this thing where they called each other by each other’s names during sex (which is, I guess, where the title comes from — hardy har har). The idea is fine in retrospect, but between the name-swapping and the shitty writing style, the scene overall was very confusing to read. All I got out of it was that Elio bottomed and Oliver topped. (<—— Almost accidentally typed Gus there and, um, Gustavo Tiberius deserves better than that. I am so sorry, Gus). After they have sex, Elio starts to question whether that was a good idea, whether he was actually into Oliver like that, etc., etc.. And at some point during all of this — I don’t even know how or why this became a thing — he ends up fucking a peach. You read that right. He :) fucks :) a :) peach. :) Like, I’m talking, splits it open and just! shoves his cock right on through! He even cums in the damn thing! ... And, like, I have never seen the movie, but I looked it up, AND THAT SCENE IS IN THE GODDAMN MOVIE. LITERALLY COMES UP AS “THE PEACH SCENE.” WHY. WHY. WHY. WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY. What kind of American Pie, 50 Shades bullshit did I just read AND WHY DID ABSOLUTELY NO ONE WARN ME ABOUT IT. Oh, and, uh, Oliver eats the peach. Just. Gobbles that thing up like it’s his favorite piece of goddamn candy. At that point, my soul just kinda detached itself from my body and plummeted straight into hell. I have become numb to any sort of emotion, and I am never touching a goddamn peach ever again, oh my god. So um. Yeah. Outside of the creepy sex shit and questionable age shit, the book was actually boring as fuck. I thought I would actually like the Italian setting, but nope! Outside of being traumatized, I have absolutely no recollection of what happens after Oliver and Elio go to Rome together. All I remember is that I’m pretty sure the ending was bullshit. And the writing style was Not Great either. The author tried SO HARD to be stupidly poetic and it absolutely did not work in the goddamn slightest (especially during the sex scenes, with fruit and otherwise). The paragraphs were super long and rambling, and the author went through patches of writing where he just. Straight up did not break the paragraphs at all when a conversation happened. I read whole paragraphs where I had no idea who was talking because it went back and forth so much. I have no idea if that was done as a stylistic choice, but it was bullshit and I’m judging everyone who liked it. Why??? Did this??? Goddamn book??? Become a movie??? I have never wanted to roundhouse kick a book into the goddamn ocean so badly. I regret ever buying it. I regret not stopping after the goddamn swim trunks shit. I want my money back. In conclusion, to sum up this goddam monstrosity of a book: WHY. (If you want better LGBT+ books, please consider reading How To Be A Normal Person by T.J. Klune, A Light Amongst Shadows by Kelley York & Rowan Altwood, or A Gentleman’s Guide to Vice & Virtue by Mackenzi Lee, just to name a few. They are all SO much better than this goddamn... experience... and do not include questionable age laws. And also, the first two titles are written by indie authors who are part of the LGBT+ community!)

[xoexoxhoe]

Ateez Reacts: S/O Sex Scene on a film set

@wonhosgyrl​ Request: “Omfg can I please get an Ateez reaction on how they would react to their significant other acting and having to do a sex scene with someone else. Thank you so much. Love your writing”

A/N: Let me tell you; When I say my co-writer and I had fun creating this thread, that would be an understatement henny cuz we were SCREAMING. Thank you so much for the support and here’s the thread! Hope you love it! 

ATEEZ & Y/N 

Hongjoong:

He’d be supportive at first, ultimately congratulating you on your success as an actress no matter how big or small the job may be.

He’d come to every single one of your shoots with coffee in a canister for you as well as all of your favorite snacks, being there for you at your beckoning call.

BUT- as soon as the camera started rolling, he wouldn’t be able to watch you. He’d probably have to sit in your trailer, watching his youtube and partaking in the onset food that PD’s probably give to him to hold him back from stressing for you.

“How is she doing? I swear to God- Hey! Hey, you! Is Y/N okay? Is she drinking water? You know how she gets when she has to do a crying scene! She gets dehydrated!” *PD’s eagerly handing him free choco pie and choco puffs in order to distract him as they politely push him back into your trailer*

When you told him about your sex scene, his eyes widened, leading him to stutter, “You’re- With another- Wait, like- It’s not me? But… I’m baby.”

You’d laugh, reassuring him that you loved him, and he’d hug you, still being the most supportive little bean ever.

Seonghwa:

Seonghwa would basically be your manager, standing in the back of an episode reading with dark shades on, his starbucks in hand, just monitoring how everyone does.

He most likely jumps the director on set one morning when you are in hair and makeup

“Um hi, I was wondering why y/n doesn’t have more parts in today’s shoot.”

“…..Seonghwa, she’s the lead.”

“Exactly. That’s why I made a few revisions to the script to fit her in some more. Like you know, what are you trying to say, that I’m dating a mediocre actress? I think not, she needs more parts.” *Flips non-existent hair*

He gets your script for the sex scene before you do. You were on a different set, preparing for the wardrobe change into what is, of course, scandalous bedroom attire.

Snatches you away from your touch-up artists and starts to haul you to the car

“Y/N, you aren’t gonna do anything of this sort. We are going home.”

When you protest, not sure of the situation, he swirls around to face you and places a hand on your shoulder

“You don’t get paid enough to do this. Tell them to use your stunt double.”

The movie is literally a rom-com; you don’t have a stunt double.

Yunho:

He packs a lunch for you every day, sometimes surprising you at the set; but sadly, lunch in his eyes means a PB&J sandwich because you won’t let him touch the stove at home.

He loves to watch you, telling every single person walking past him that you’re his girl, sometimes too excited, but you love it.

Yunho takes advantage of all of the free food on set, sometimes sneaking cheese cubes too often resulting in a stomach ache.

The day of your shoot for your sex scene in the most recent episode of your tv show, Yunho sat behind the PD team quietly eating the PB&J sandwich you refused to accept and allowed him to eat.

You walk quickly out of hair and makeup with a long robe on, darting your eyes toward his beaming face. “Wow! Y/N; Babe. You look amazing, but why the robe? I mean it’s flattering-” *Male lead walks in on the set with a matching robe and only boxers* “WHAT IN THE GOOD LORD’S NAME IS HAPPEN-”

He most likely shoves the PB&J into a PD’s face, “Hold my sandwich.” He then proceeds to stomp on set, hitting his chest and staring at the director, “Yah! Mr. Director, PUT ME IN COACH. RIGHT. NOW.”

The PD rubs his temples, looking at you disappointedly as you just shrugged and gave him a sheepish smile while running to stop Yunho. You grab his hand, telling him you love him and it’s just acting.

“I took an acting class in high school, Y/N.” You pushed him out of the door, pecking his cheek, “Honey, it doesn’t work like that.”

As the door to the set began to close you saw him drop to his knees in the parking lot, “BUT SOFT! WHAT LIGHT THROUGH THE YONDER WINDOW BREAKS?”

“BYE YUNHO.”

Yeosang:

Yeosang normally loved to let you work, allowing you to be private and come home to a stress free environment. But, on this day on particular, he came to set early to pick you up.

He parked near the staff lounge side of the set, reclining his seat as far as he could sporting a black hat and the darkest sunglasses money could buy.

PD’s and other staff pass his car, whispering about your potential sex scene for the movie and how it was to be filmed today.

His eyes ripped open, “Not today, Satan.”

He marched on set and into your dressing room where hair and makeup were working on you quickly. You looked up to him, “Yeosang!” You turned to your friends helping you, “Guys, this is my boyfriend, Kang Yeo-”

“No.”

“Wait, what?” You tilted your head and he dismissed the makeup artists with a flick of his hand. He went up to your ear, trying to whisper but still being ~ hella ~ loud, “You don’t think I know what you’re filming today, Y/N?! This is SIN… Ister…” He pouted.

“Babe… it’s a movie, it’s my job. I have to-”

“No.”

He began to pull you away but you stopped in your tracks, “Kang Yeosang, wait.” You explained to him the logistics, giving him the rundown of how safe it was and how a lot of it was fabricated.

With hesitant eyes, he nodded and just pulled you into an embrace, leaning down to whisper into your ear once more, “Fine… But I get to stay on set and watch this asshole.”

San:

Choi San might as well be the lead role in your movie as he and Shiber were even more popular on set than you; but you wouldn’t change it for the world.

He was always cheering you on and sitting in your chair while you were filming. He cried when you cried, got angry when you got angry, and of course, he ate when you ate in the movie.

San always commented on how good you looked in your outfits, sometimes even attempting to dress you up himself, confidently presenting you to your stylist who always  shot him down, saying that he can’t dress you in leather pants every day, nor can he place a turtle neck on you when it’s 80 degrees outside.

You and San were sitting on the couch in your trailer during downtime on set when you decided to tell him of the impending sex scene.

San looked up, screaming while pressing his chest against Shiber, looking to his stuffed animal, “Shiber- Did she really just say that she was gonna do a…” He whispered, “sex scene?”

You smiled, taking Shiber into your own arms and looking to the puppy, “Please tell San that his baby will be safe and does not love the male lead, only Choi San.”

San stole the plushie back, putting Shiber to his ear, “Shiber says that this is NOT a viable option in this situation.”

You stood up to San, laughing while using your free hand to flick his forehead, “Let me work, San!”

He rubbed his forehead, pouting but eventually giving in, “Fine. Just don’t let Shiber catch you staring at the dude or he’ll have to have some words with you, got it?”

Mingi:

Mingi never did pay attention to your rants at home, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t supportive. He always reassured you that you were the woman for the job, kissing you constantly and reminding all the staff around him that you were his and you were the best.

Mingi was especially interested in this movie you were filming as it was an action film, and the male lead was someone he really liked to watch.

He was very polite to all of the staff, always helping them to reach things off the top shelves of the prop-set as most of the PD’s were too short.

During a production meeting with the entire set, Mingi sat quietly in your chair, holding your purse and watching you intently. The director stood on the podium, “So today, we’re filming the love scene between Y/N and Lee Min Ho.”

Mingi’s jaw dropped, he stood up from your seat, shadow boxing the air and gritting his teeth before composing himself and raising his hand. “Um- I object, your honor.”

You dropped your face into your palms. The director tilted his head back, trying to disguise his laughter, “Mr. Song, Y/N is gonna be fine.”

“I PLEAD THE FIFTH, SIR.”

“MINGI!” You yelled across the set, bursting into laughter.

“WE, THE JURY, FIND THE DEFENDANT-” *Points at Lee Min Ho, attempting to hold back his own laughter* “GUILTY OF BEING TOO HANDSOME FOR THIS SCENE AND KNOWING Y/N WILL GIVE INTO HIM.”

Wooyoung:

Wooyoung was always cocky on set, yet all of the staff adored him as they knew he was in the popular group Ateez. They enjoyed his snarky comments and charm.

He never bothered you at work, just continually took selfies and posted them on the Ateez social media but sent them to you first for approval.

On the morning of the sex scene shoot, he was strangely calm. You told him about the situation way before hand where he just nodded, giving you a kiss and telling you that you were gonna be amazing.

“Babe… I’m nervous.” You closed your eyes as he pulled you into an embrace, laying his head on yours and rubbing your arm.

“You’re gonna kill it, Y/N. You always do. And I’ll be right there if you need me.”

You smiled, thanking him and kissing him before sauntering onto set and taking your robe off, smiling and bowing slightly to your male lead who bowed back.

Wooyoung just looked at you, waving a little and winking at you. The director of the set shouted to his PD’s, “We need the mood music, people. Where’s the playlist?”

All types of ~ mood ~ music began to play but lo and behold, your Jung Wooyoung walked up to the aux cord, unplugging the old ipod and throwing it behind him. “You people call this mood music?” He scoffed, “I got a song for ya’ll.”

Wooyoung saw the surprise in your eyes and grinned. Desire by Ateez blared on the speakers, causing your heart to race, getting flushed just thinking of Wooyoung and the song and what it did to you.

As the scene proceeded, he never took his eyes off of you. Everytime you looked to him throughout the song, he mouthed the simple words: “I own you.”

Jongho:

Jongho never liked to come on set with you. He always stated that, “Movie sets are like scary dreams. Every time I see a green screen, I just imagine Spy Kids and the scene where they’re being chased through lava by tinker toys.”

You took his hand, “Baby, it’s not that kind of movie. This is a rom-com.” He pulled his hand away and shivered, “That’s even scarier.”

On the day he found out you had a sex scene, he just so happened to buy you your favorite lunch, marching onto set happier than you’ve seen him all week, but stopping dead in his tracks when he noticed your skimpy attire. “Um- Hi? Yeah, why are you,” He motioned his hand towards your body, “Like this?”

You told him about what was to happen in the scene and he dropped the bag of your lunch on the floor, “Oh- and now’s a good time to tell me? Yeah- Where’s the security?”

“Jongho, why do you need security?”

He paced the set, “I’m literally gonna break something, they need to hold me back.”

“Babe- No- NO!”

He screamed, “JOHN CENA- TOO LATE.” He swiftly punched through a prop door that a PD was carrying onto the sound stage, causing the poor boy to falter and ultimately get slammed by a fist.

Jongho had no remorse, kissing your cheek, “Fuck, at least you look amazing…” He began to walk away as the crowd of staff members watched him with wide eyes. “I gotta go before I start breaking more shit-” He looked to the director, “Yeah buddy and you BEST BELIEVE I am NOT supporting this film- hell no.” He punched the door on the ground again and the PD, still pinned beneath it whimpered. Jungho let out a frustrated sigh and turned to face everyone while pointing to you, “By the way let’s just set it straight now that this is coming out of her paycheck.”

[divinum-pacis]

Readings for the Second Week of Advent

From Douay-Rheims 1899 American Edition of the Bible (in the public domain)

Second Sunday of Advent

Isaiah 22:8-23

“And the covering of Juda shall be discovered, and thou shalt see in that day the armoury of the house of the forest. And you shall see the breaches of the city of David, that they are many: and you have gathered together the waters of the lower pool, and have numbered the houses of Jerusalem, and broken down houses to fortify the wall. And you made a ditch between the two walls for the water of the old pool: and you have not looked up to the maker thereof, nor regarded him even at a distance, that wrought it long ago. And the Lord, the God of hosts, in that day shall call to weeping, and to mourning, to baldness, and to girding with sackcloth: And behold joy and gladness, killing calves, and slaying rams, eating flesh, and drinking wine: Let us eat and drink; for to morrow we shall die. And the voice of the Lord of hosts was revealed in my ears: Surely this iniquity shall not be forgiven you till you die, saith the Lord God of hosts. Thus saith the Lord God of hosts: Go, get thee in to him that dwelleth in the tabernacle, to Sobna who is over the temple: and thou shalt say to him: What dost thou here, or as if thou wert somebody here? for thou hast hewed thee out a sepulchre here, thou hast hewed out a monument carefully in a high place, a dwelling for thyself in a rock. Behold the Lord will cause thee to be carried away, as a cock is carried away, and he will lift thee up as a garment. He will crown thee with a crown of tribulation, he will toss thee like a ball into a large and spacious country: there shalt thou die, and there shall the chariot of thy glory be, the shame of the house of thy Lord. And I will drive thee out From thy station, and depose thee from thy ministry. And it shall come to pass in that day, that I will call my servant Eliacim the son of Helcias, and I will clothe him with thy robe, and will strengthen him with thy girdle, and will give thy power into his hand: and he shall be as a father to the inhabitants of Jerusalem, and to the house of Juda. And I will lay the key of the house of David upon his shoulder: and he shall open, and none shall shut: and he shall shut, and none shall open. And I will fasten him as a peg in a sure place, and he shall be for a throne of glory to the house of his father.”

Second Monday of Advent

Isaiah 24:1-18

“Behold the Lord shall lay waste the earth, and shall strip it, and shall afflict the face thereof, and scatter abroad the inhabitants thereof. And it shall be as with the people, so with the priest: and as with the servant, so with his master: as with the handmaid, so with her mistress: as with the buyer, so with the seller: as with the lender, so with the borrower: as with him that calleth for his money, so with him that oweth. With desolation shall the earth be laid waste, and it shall be utterly spoiled: for the Lord hath spoken this word. The earth mourned, and faded away, and is weakened: the world faded away, the height of the people of the earth is weakened. And the earth is infected by the inhabitants thereof: because they have transgressed the laws, they have changed the ordinance, they have broken the everlasting covenant. Therefore shall a curse devour the earth, and the inhabitants thereof shall sin: and therefore they that dwell therein shall be mad, and few men shall be left. The vintage hath mourned, the vine hath languished away, all the merryhearted have sighed. The mirth of timbrels hath ceased, the noise of them that rejoice is ended, the melody of the harp is silent. They shall not drink wine with a song: the drink shall be bitter to them that drink it. The city of vanity is broken down, every house is shut up, no man cometh in. There shall be a crying for wine in the streets: all mirth is forsaken: the joy of the earth is gone away. Desolation is left in the city, and calamity shall oppress the gates. For it shall be thus in the midst of the earth, in the midst of the people, as if a few olives, that remain, should be shaken out of the olive tree: or grapes, when the vintage is ended. These shall lift up their voice, and shall give praise: when the Lord shall be glorified, they shall make a joyful noise from the sea. Therefore glorify ye the Lord in instruction: the name of the Lord God of Israel in the islands of the sea. From the ends of the earth we have heard praises, the glory of the just one. And I said: My secret to myself, my secret to myself, woe is me: the prevaricators have prevaricated, and with the prevarication of transgressors they have prevaricated. Fear, and the pit, and the snare are upon thee, O thou inhabitant of the earth. And it shall come to pass, that he that shall flee from the noise of the fear, shall fall into the pit: and he that shall rid himself out of the pit, shall be taken in the snare: for the flood-gates from on high are opened, and the foundations of the earth shall be shaken.”

Second Tuesday of Advent

Isaiah 24:19-25:5

“With breaking shall the earth be broken, with crushing shall the earth be crushed, with trembling shall the earth be moved. With shaking shall the earth be shaken as a drunken man, and shall be removed as the tent of one night: and the iniquity thereof shall be heavy upon it, and it shall fell, and not rise again. And it shall come to pass, that in that day the Lord shall visit upon the host of heaven on high, and upon the kings of the earth, on the earth. And they shall be gathered together as in the gathering of one bundle into the pit, and they shall be shut up there in prison: and after many days they shall be visited. Then the moon shall blush, and the sun shall be ashamed, when the Lord of hosts shall reign in mount Sion, and in Jerusalem, and shall be glorified in the sight of his ancients. O LORD, thou art my God, I will exalt thee, and give glory to thy name: for thou hast done wonderful things, thy designs of old faithful, amen. For thou hast reduced the city to a heap, the strong city to ruin, the house of strangers, to be no city, and to be no more built up for ever. Therefore shall a strong people praise thee, the city of mighty nations shall fear thee. Because thou hast been a strength to the poor, a strength to the needy in his distress: a refuge from the whirlwind, a shadow from the heat. For the blast of the mighty is like a whirlwind beating against a wall. Thou shalt bring down the tumult of strangers, as heat in thirst: and as with heat under a burning cloud, thou shalt make the branch of the mighty to wither away.”

Second Wednesday of Advent

Isaiah 25:6-26:6

“And the Lord of hosts shall make unto all people in this mountain, a feast of fat things, a feast of wine, of fat things full of marrow, of wine purified from the lees. And he shall destroy in this mountain the face of the bond with which all pie were tied, and the web that he over all nations. He shall cast death down headlong forever: and the Lord God shall wipe away tears from every face, and the reproach of his people he shall take away from off the whole earth: for the Lord hath spoken it. And they shall say in that day: Lo, this is our God, we have waited for him, and he will save us: this is the Lord, we have patiently waited for him, we shall rejoice and be joyful in his salvation. For the hand of the Lord shall rest in this mountain: and Moab shall be trodden down under him, as straw is broken in pieces with the wain. And he shall stretch forth his hands under him, as he that swimmeth stretcheth forth his hands to swim: and he shall bring down his glory with the dashing of his hands. And the bulwarks of thy high walls shall fall, and be brought low, and shall be pulled down to the ground, even to the dust. In that day shall this canticle be sung the land of Juda. Sion the city of our strength a saviour, a wall and a bulwark shall be set therein. Open ye the gates, and let the just nation, that keepeth the truth, enter in. The old error is passed away: thou wilt keep peace: peace, because we have hoped in thee. You have hoped in the Lord for evermore, in the Lord God mighty for ever. For he shall bring down them that dwell on high, the high city he shall lay low. He shall bring it down even to the ground, he shall pull it down even to the dust. The foot shall tread it down, the feet of the poor, the steps of the needy.”

Second Thursday of Advent

Isaiah 26:7-21

“The way of the just is right, the path of the just is right to walk in. And in the way of thy judgments, O Lord, we have patiently waited for thee: thy name, and thy remembrance are the desire of the soul. My soul hath desired thee in the night: yea, and with my spirit within me in the morning early I will watch to thee. When thou shalt do thy judgments on the earth, the inhabitants of the world shall learn justice. Let us have pity on the wicked, but he will not learn justice: in the land of the saints he hath done wicked things, and he shall not see the glory of the Lord. Lord, let thy hand be exalted, and let them not see: let the envious people see, and be confounded: and let fire devour thy enemies. Lord, thou wilt give us peace: for thou hast wrought all our works for us. O Lord our God, other lords besides thee have had dominion over us, only in thee let us remember thy name. Let not the dead live, let not the giants rise again: therefore hast thou visited and destroyed them, and best destroyed all their memory. Thou hast been favourable to the nation, O Lord, thou hast been favourable to the nation: art thou glorified? thou hast removed all the ends of the earth far off. Lord, they have sought after thee in distress, in the tribulation of murmuring thy instruction was with them. As a woman with child, when she draweth near the time of her delivery, is in pain, and crieth out in her pangs: so are we become in thy presence, O Lord. We have conceived, and been as it were in labour, and have brought forth wind: we have not wrought salvation on the earth, therefore the inhabitants of the earth have not fallen. Thy dead men shall live, my slain shall rise again: awake, and give praise, ye that dwell in the dust: for thy dew is the dew of the light: and the land of the giants thou shalt pull down into ruin. Go, my people, enter into thy chambers, shut thy doors upon thee, hide thyself a little for a moment, until the indignation pass away. For behold the Lord will come out of his place, to visit the iniquity of the inhabitant of the earth against him: and the earth shall disclose her blood, and shall cover her slain no more.”

Second Friday of Advent

Isaiah 27:1-13

“In that day the Lord with his hard, and great, and strong sword shall visit leviathan the bar serpent, and leviathan the crooked serpent, and shall slay the whale that is in the sea. In that day there shall be singing to the vineyard of pure wine. I am the Lord that keep it, I will suddenly give it drink: lest any hurt come to it, I keep it night and day. There is no indignation in me: who shall make me a thorn and a brier in battle: shall march against it, shall I set it on fire together? Or rather shall it take hold of my strength, shall it make peace with me, shall it make peace with me? When they shall rush in unto Jacob, Israel shall blossom and bud, and they shall fill the face of the world with seed. Hath he struck him according to the stroke of him that struck him? or is he slain, as he killed them that were slain by him? In measure against measure, when it shall be cast off, thou shalt judge it. He hath meditated with his severe spirit in the day of heat. Therefore upon this shall the iniquity of the house of Jacob be forgiven: and this is all the fruit, that the sin thereof should be taken away, when he shall have made all the stones of the altar, as burnt stones broken in pieces, the groves and temples shall not stand. For the strong city shall be desolate, the beautiful city shall be forsaken, and shall be left as a wilderness : there the calf shall feed, and there shall he lie down, and shall consume its branches. Its harvest shall be destroyed with drought, women shall come and teach it: for it is not a wise people, therefore he that made it, shall not have mercy on it: and he that formed it, shall not spare it. And it shall come to pass, that in that day the Lord will strike from the channel of the river even to the torrent of Egypt, and you shall be gathered together one by one, O ye children of Israel. And it shall come to pass, that in that day a noise shall be made with a great trumpet, and they that were lost, shall come from the land of the Assyrians, and they that were outcasts in the land of Egypt, and they shall adore the Lord in the holy mount in Jerusalem.”

Second Saturday of Advent

Isaiah 29:1-8

“Woe to Ariel, to Ariel the city which David took: year is added to year: the solemnities are at an end. And I will make a trench about Ariel, and it shall be in sorrow and mourning, and it shall be to me as Ariel. And I will make a circle round about thee, and will cast up a rampart against thee, and raise up bulwarks to besiege thee. Thou shalt be brought down, thou shalt speak out of the earth, and thy speech shall be heard out of the ground: and thy voice shall be from the earth like that of the python, and out of the ground thy speech shall mutter. And the multitude of them that fan thee, shall be like small dust: and as ashes passing away, the multitude of them that have prevailed against thee. And it shall be at an instant suddenly. A visitation shall come from the Lord of hosts in thunder, and with earthquake, and with a great noise of whirlwind and tempest, and with the flame of devouring fire. And the multitude of all nations that have fought against Ariel, shall be as the dream of a vision by night, and all that have fought, and besieged and prevailed against it. And as he that is hungry dreameth, and eateth, but when he is awake, his soul is empty: and as he that is thirsty dreameth, and drinketh, and after he is awake, is yet faint with thirst, and his soul is empty: so shall be the multitude of all the Gentiles, that have fought against mount Sion.”

[cryoculus]

Hello! I just saw demon!Oikawa official art and was wondering if you could write anything with that version of him? 🙏🏻 It could be funny or whatever. Thank you(´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

»Word Count: 4,529 words Cross-posted on AO3

Ugh I finally finished this. But heads up, Tumblr’s formatting system is a little ugly right now and I can’t put timeskip lines like I used to. But that hardly makes a difference on mobile. If anything, the asterisks make it easier to read on the mobile app. Anyways, I’d recommend reading on AO3 instead, but it’d mean the world if you left a like on the first one shot (cough potential fanfic cough) I’ve posted in a good while. 

***

“Another gas leak?”

Your ears perk up at Kawanishi’s concerned voice resounding from the cashier. Curious, you throw him a curious look over your shoulder, momentarily tearing yourself away from your current duty which takes form in replenishing the shelves with fresh pastries. From where he’s seated, Kawanishi stares at the small television propped on the counter with a prominent crease marring his brow. He must be watching the news again. It is only two in the afternoon—far earlier than the designated time slot for the regular news broadcasts. But for the past week, flash reports were invading TV screens in sporadic times of the day, all of which depicted the same message.

“The Miyagi Police Department are diligently looking into the matter, but the evidence at hand is supposedly still inconclusive. But it hasn’t escaped the public’s notice that all the victims of the aforementioned gas leaks were customers of a single company that refilled their gas tanks regularly. Today’s victims from downtown Sendai have been sent to the hospital and are yet to regain consciousness—”

“The world is becoming a real scary place to live in.” Kawanishi clicks his tongue before promptly switching off the TV. “I’m probably going to start cooking my food with bonfires now.”

“You can’t even cook for shit, Taichi.” You snort, re-adjusting your plastic gloves before resuming your previous task.

He returns your jab at his lack of the particular life skill with a grimace. “Hey, I man the cashier way better than you ever will.”

“Your point is…?”

“Could you just shut up and get back to the kitchen?” Kawanishi rolls his eyes, pretending to busy himself with the sales logbook on the counter even if there aren’t any customers inside the bakery.

A jeering chuckle slips past your lips at his dismissive behavior. But knowing full well that you still have a pot pie scheduled for delivery later in the day, you decide to leave Kawanishi to his own devices so you can get started with the order. However, when you set foot in the kitchen, you are met with the sight of Reon teaching the newest recruit, Goshiki how to properly hand-knead pie dough without making too much of a mess.

“Reon, I thought it was my turn to handle deliveries,” you half-whine before peeling off your plastic gloves for disposal. After, you pull out one of the folded metal chairs tucked away in the corner to watch Reon’s demonstration. Though from the knowing look in his eye, he is well aware that you are more than glad that he took over your responsibilities to give Goshiki a quick tutorial.

“Tsutomu here told me he was tired of inventory,” he reasons with a shrug, hands still occupied with the task before him. “He’s been here for almost a month and I’m sure Wakatoshi won’t mind if I teach him how to bake.”

Your gaze meanders to Goshiki who is staring at you with a hint of timidness to his posture; those dark eyes of his conveying a subtle plea. “I-Is it okay, senpai?”

Before you can even think of holding it in, your lips curl into a wide smile, cackling at the younger boy’s formality. “Tsutomu, it’s more than okay! And don’t call me senpai. Makes me feel old.”

Reon eyes you with amusement. “Aren’t you a few years away from turning thir—”

Before he can finish the sentence, you stomp over towards him to jab a finger in his face. “I don’t make offhanded comments about your life so don’t you make any about mine.”

“Ah, what is it with the youth these days?” a fourth voice intrudes in the conversation. “Always so insecure about aging. The older you become, the more things you’ll know about the world, you know~”

You whip your head to the direction from where it came from, and lo and behold, one of the bakery’s owners shoved past the kitchen’s double doors to grace you with his presence. There was always something about Tendou Satori that put you on edge; not in a bad way, really. You’ve long convinced yourself that maybe it’s his unconventional appearance that you find unsettling. That fiery hair and those glinting rubies for eyes certainly cater to his reputation. But besides the occasional eccentric comment from him, the way the air crackles with an intangible tension that you can’t quite wrap your head around in the rare instances that you’re in the same room is still hard to ignore.

“Tendou,” Reon acknowledges him tentatively. “You’re here early. Don’t you usually drop by at seven on weekends?”

Tendou perches himself near the tiled sink, the heels of his sneakers colliding with the wooden cabinets underneath as he sways his slender legs. “Eita-kun told me told me to haul my ass here as soon as I could or he’ll skin me alive.” His mouth puckers a little, eyes darting around. “Yet the present audience only consists of one head baker, one trainee, and one age-conscious little bird.”

A soft sigh escapes Reon as he quietly asks Goshiki to retrieve the rolling pin from the cabinets. The younger man carries it out with the most enthusiasm you’ve seen on someone who usually just acted upon another person’s orders. Quite the cheery one, he is.

“Where’s Eita then?” Reon inquires with upturned brows.

“Beats me,” comes Tendou’s indifferent reply. “He’s probably out there bullying Kenjirō. You know how Eita-kun has regressed into the embodiment of bitterness when Kenjirō finally grew his wings and outperformed him in his own game.”

“I don’t think putting it so casually is a good idea.”

“Senpai!” Goshiki’s voice is too loud for a too quiet room as he hands Reon what he asked for. “Will you be needing anything else?”

Reon shakes his head, taking the roller from Goshiki’s grasp. “Could you go start making the filling? I heard from Shirabu that you knew how to cook.”

“Really? Shirabu-senpai put in a good word for me?”

“Uh, I wouldn’t say it’s ‘good’ exactly…” His voice trails off once Goshiki launches himself into the storage room presumably to gather the needed ingredients. Chuckling to himself, Reon dips his hands in a nearby bag of flour and proceeds to knead the dough into flatness. You watch him with careful vigilance since pies aren’t really your forte. Your expertise lies in bread, which isn’t as demanding as that pastry that needs too many conditions satisfied to be considered good. Making a crust that isn’t too brittle and a filling that shouldn’t be too savory is beyond you. You’re quite relieved that Reon took over for reasons that lie beyond your own laziness.

“So, (Name) was it?”

Your attention retracts back to the most peculiar out of your bosses. Tendou gazes at you with a glint of mischief crinkling his eyes, lips upturned into something akin to a sneer. “Yes?” you respond, shifting a little in your cramped seat.

Tendou hums an unfamiliar tune without letting up his thinly veiled interest. The way he’s staring reminds you of how a scientist would look at a foreign specimen, and you  aren’t very sure if you are glad to be on the receiving end of it. You’re drawing blanks as to why it seems like he is addressing you like it’s your first day on the job, but you’ve been told that Tendou has a habit of forgetting employees’ names and faces. He’s probably just familiarizing himself with your presence in the store since your shifts usually didn’t last long enough for you to cross paths with him. When he doesn’t speak any further, you decide to shift your line of sight back to Reon’s devoted handiwork.

“Wakatoshi-kun did a real good job on this one, huh?” A low chuckle rumbles from Tendou and though his voice has dipped into a whisper, you’re certain that he meant for you to hear.

With one brow quirked, you turn around with the intent of asking what he meant by that, but your plans are abruptly derailed when Goshiki walks back from the storage room, cheeks tinged with pink as he approaches you.

“What is it, Tsutomu?” you ask.

He reaches out a hand to scratch the back of his neck. “Um, could you please teach me how to open the stove? The one we have at home isn’t as hi-tech…”

You can hear Tendou sputtering behind you, causing Goshiki turn a few shades redder. You offer him a soft smile before hopping onto your feet to help him out and his face seems to light up a little at your willingness. The reaction makes you presume that he might not be used to getting helped around a lot, given that Shirabu, the guy in charge of keeping Goshiki in check, has an apparent dislike for slow learners. Speaking of which…

“Do you know where Shirabu is?” you ask him, suddenly hyper aware of the lack of staff inside the shop. Early afternoons aren’t the most hectic time of the day, but you aren’t used to having only three people with you in the kitchen. Hayato and Soekawa are nowhere to be found either. If Semi was here, he would be squawking like a parrot, appalled at their unexcused absences. But even the supervisor himself isn’t present.

Goshiki shakes his head as the two of you stalk off to the stoves lining the westernmost wall of the room. “He told me I was under Reon-san’s care for the day because he had somewhere to be with Ushijima-san.”

You nod slowly as you instruct him about the different buttons and switches on the stove. He seems to have committed every word to mind and begins tinkering with what he could with experimental curiosity. After asking if he needs any help with the actual cooking, he insists that he can do it on his own. When you slump back to your seat, Tendou is gone and Reon is already placing the flattened dough on a pie tray.

“Hey, Reon?”

“What?”

“Where the hell is everybody?”

The set of his jaw tightens ever so slightly. When Reon says he doesn’t know about the others’ whereabouts, you would’ve been convinced of his cluelessness had you been any less perceptive. With that sincere face of his, lying through the skin of his teeth would be a breeze if he needed to do so. But of all the people in the shop, Reon is someone that you’d spent the most time around alongside Kawanishi, so spotting a few chinks in his unflustered demeanor comes easier to you than most.

Just as you’re about to press the topic further, the sound of the back door of the kitchen slamming open makes you jolt in surprise. Emerging from outside are the very same people you’d been pondering about not ten seconds ago.

“Reon, get the herbs and incense now!” Hayato barks as he drags the metal chair you were occupying earlier across the floor to prop it against the wall. There, Ushijima gently sets down a half-conscious Shirabu and—

“S-Shirabu-senpai?” The terror creeping from Goshiki’s voice rattles you all the way to your bones when your eyes train themselves on the discolored skin of Shirabu’s neck. His pale complexion is marred with a bruise that runs too dark a shade to be considered normal—the purplish red slowly fading into black. A trail of blood dribbles from the corner of his mouth as he stares into the space in front of him with a dazed look in his brown eyes. Ushijima is calmly telling him to stay awake, but you aren’t sure if the message is getting through when Shirabu doesn’t even give him so much as a minimal reaction. Soekawa, Tendou, and Semi appear a little shortly, with the latter two apparently engrossed in one of their untimely banters.

“Hah? You guys purposely kept me out of it ‘cause you’re concerned?” The furious scrunch of his face takes you aback. “And where did that plan lead to, huh, Semisemi?”

Semi clicks his tongue. “You wouldn’t have been able to handle them with that injury of yours.”

Injury? From what you can see, Tendou looks like he’s in perfect shape. But from the way his frown deepens, he might have taken Semi’s words to heart.

Reon hurries back to the scene (when did he even leave?) with what seems like a jar with kanji engravings on the lid that are too small for you to read in one hand, and a bundle of incense sticks and a lighter in the other. He tells the others to give Shirabu some space to breathe and they comply, save for Soekawa who took action to assist Reon with whatever he planned to do with the strange jar. Why a mortar and a pestle are inside Soekawa’s messenger bag is beyond your understanding, but no one else in the room seems to find anything amiss when he procures it, so you decide to keep your questions to yourself.

Reon crouches by Shirabu’s feet to uncap the jar, setting the lid on the floor. Inside is a solid surface divided into two sections: one that seems to hold stark white herbs you’ve never seen before and one with three holes poked into the clay. Reon immediately shoves three incense sticks into the holes, igniting them with the lighter without a second thought. Smoke rises from where the sticks burn, diffusing the air with the sharp scent of pine needles and musk.

Soekawa gathers the ivory leaves in his hands to crush them on the mortar while he asks Semi to hand him ‘the salve’ from his bag. He rummages through Soekawa’s belongings and hands him a dirty reagent bottle. Soekawa pours a slimy, transparent substance from the bottle onto the mortar and mixes it with the crushed leaves with his bare fingers. He mutters something that’s out of earshot when he rises to his feet and applies his concoction onto Shirabu’s affliction. The contact seems to finally rouse him from his stupor when his face contorts in agony and a blood-curdling shriek pierces your ears.

Your skin prickles at the sight of Shirabu thrashing against Ushijima’s and Hayato’s restraining grasps as Soekawa covers the entirety of the bruise with the salve. When you feel Goshiki shuffling closer to you, you whisper, “What the absolute fuck is going on, Tsutomu?”

There’s prominent hesitation in his eyes, like he knows exactly what’s going on, but he isn’t allowed to tell you. As the filling he was previously preparing lay forgotten on the stove, your stare hardens. You’ve been working here for half a year now, and not once did you witness anyone else barging in the kitchen sporting a malignant bruise that required herbal treatment. Yet Goshiki, who’s spent less time in the shop than you have, is already in on the situation?

“A strange sight, isn’t it?”

Out of reflex, you jump away when you hear Tendou’s voice whispering in your ear. With the convoluted display in front of you, your boss’ outlandish behavior does nothing to aid your peace of mind, but the way he’s observing the others as Soekawa treats Shirabu makes you feel like this isn’t an uncommon occurrence.

“You aren’t really supposed to see this, little bird.” Tendou sighs, stretching out his limbs before draping one arm across your shoulder. “Wakatoshi-kun doesn’t really like picking fights, but Kenjirō can be a little stubborn. I’m all in for a beatdown any time, but couldn’t they have delayed that little scuffle until you weren’t in the shop?”  

You frown. “Wha—”

“(Name).”

Your eyes snap back to Semi, whose thin lips are pressed into a line. “Is it okay if you take your time off now? We’re not going to cut it from your salary, don’t worry.”

“Eita-kun, don’t you think we’ve kept her in the dark long enough?” Tendou groans, sounding rather annoyed. “She’s bound to find out either way.”

Semi glares at him. “That isn’t your decision to make, Tendou.”

“It isn’t yours, either,” the redhead rebutts, staring him down with resilience.

“But it is mine.”

The sincere baritone of Ushijima’s voice envelops you like a warm blanket. At the same time, his domineering presence overshadows his candor and you’re left thinking that this man could be such a walking contradiction at times. He stands tall above the rest of the men around you. When you sneak a glance behind him, Shirabu has calmed down enough to deem him worthy of release. Reon is speaking softly to Shirabu as Soekawa wipes off the blood on his face. Strangely, the dark bruise on his neck has already lightened into a softer shade of purple—the skin around it yellowing at the edges. When your gaze shifts back to Ushijima, he’s staring at you with intensity pooling in his olive eyes.

“We are seraphim,” he speaks flatly.

Those words garner a variety of reactions: Tendou bursts out laughing, Semi drags a palm over his face, Goshiki is stunned into silence, and you’re craning your head to the side, wondering if you heard him right.

“Wakatoshi-kun, you don’t just drop a bomb like that without any context,” Tendou says, wiping a tear from his eye.

Ushijima’s brows knit in confusion. “What bomb?”

“Even after making a million souls, you’re still terrible at talking to your own craft, aren’t you?”

“Excuse me,” you interrupt, “but can someone tell me exactly what’s going on? I feel like the useless extra character that isn’t involved in the overall plot.”

Tendou’s mouth curves into an eerie smile. “Oh, but you’re actually the main protagonist, little bird.”

“Would you lot stop talking in riddles?” Semi snaps before turning to you. “Look, (Name). I know this is a lot to take in but Wakatoshi is telling you the truth. We are seraphim. Angels. You see Shirabu over there?” He jams a thumb behind him, gesturing towards Shirabu as his prior hesitation to enlighten you is completely cast aside. “The reason why he got that blight is because he tried to jump the demon king on behalf of Wakatoshi himself. Of course his retainers wouldn’t allow that so they grabbed him by the neck to restrain him—”

“Hm, I wonder why Eita-kun just let that happen to poor Kenjirō when he could have warded them off with a single wave of his hand,” Tendou sneers at him, to which Semi responds with a hard glare.

“Tendou, there is nothing Semi could have done,” Ushijima insists. “We were outnumbered. The fault lies within myself. I should not have heeded Shirabu’s request of having an audience with the demon king in light of the incidents happening today. It could have been settled in a different manner.”

“Tch, unless it’s about completely eradicating that demon clan scum, I’m not hearing it.”

“You’re being an idiot again.” Semi smacks Tendou’s shoulder. “They’re assholes, but their existence is necessary, just like ours. Unless we want the balance of nature tipped, the best we can do is keep them in check.”

Tendou shrugs. “They’re the ones devouring souls left and right like it’s no one’s business. Stupid brutes are consuming souls faster than Wakatoshi-kun can make them. Would nature really go haywire once those who are out to destroy everything in it are erased from existence?”

“You know that’s not how it works.”

“Then how does it work, huh, Eita-ku—”

“Silence.”

You didn’t know that it was possible, but the pitch of Ushijima’s voice dips even lower when he utters that single word that has everyone in the room cowering at his authority. Even Hayato and Soekawa have paused to take a look at what’s going on in their side of the kitchen. Ushijima’s face remains unperturbed even after his assertion and the room is plunged into pregnant silence, not a soul daring to speak after Ushijima himself. But the tension is ultimately shattered when the kitchen doors fling open to reveal Kawanishi poking his head from the entrance.

“Oi, (Name), your favorite customer placed a milk bread delivery again,” Kawanishi shamelessly announces. If he noticed the tense atmosphere, he doesn’t show it.

It was all too much. You couldn’t bring yourself to stomach every word that the three men had fed you. Seraphim? What is this, some fantasy series? What would angels be accomplishing by running a damn bakery? Hearing Kawanishi spouting something about deliveries makes you have some semblance of normalcy to grab onto, and you want nothing more than to take it. This was probably just some sick joke that they managed Ushijima to go along with to spite you. And a demon king injuring Shirabu? You’ve never heard of that story before. Without so much as a backwards glance, you head over to the front with Kawanishi, pushing all thoughts of seraphim, and the demon king, and Shirabu’s bruise at the back of your mind.

Kawanishi is silent when he places two packaged loaves of your signature milk bread in a paper bag, and you’re glad he doesn’t probe you for any reaction about the scene from earlier. At the back of your mind, you wonder if he’s in on their game. Did he notice what was going on back there? Is he going to convince you that he’s seraphim, too?

But Kawanishi has never been the confrontational type. Instead, he writes up the receipt for the order as usual, tears it from the pad and hands it to you. “If he asks for another discount, you can tell him to piss off.”

“That’s not very nice.”

“It’s not very nice to keep ripping the shop off by charging the guy less than the actual price just because you think he’s cute either.”

Your face heats up at his accusation. “I-it’s not like that! He’s just been such a frequent customer. H-he deserves a little mark down, don’t you think?”

Kawanishi stares at you, unimpressed. “I’m pretty sure he never drops by the shop and prefers deliveries because he’s only interested in you.”

“Shut up, Taichi.”

***

You park the shop’s delivery motorcycle by the curb of one of the most lavish houses in the neighborhood. You don’t spend a lot of time in this part of the city out of your usual deliveries to this one business tycoon. The man seems to have taken a liking to the milk bread which no one in the shop makes better than you do. He hasn’t really given you his name, but he told you that he earned the nickname ‘Grand King’. You snorted at that and insisted on calling him King instead.

When you ring the intercom to King’s residence, his familiar voice greets you with enthusiasm. “Oh, (Name)-chan! You’re here early. The snobby cashier told me that the delivery would take about an hour or so.”

You find yourself laughing at the way he addresses Kawanishi. “You’re in luck, King-san. I just made a fresh batch earlier this afternoon. That’s why you didn’t have to wait.”

“Alright. I’ll head down to fetch it.”

Static rattles from the intercom and you know that King has ended the exchange when the red button stops glowing. You hum a song you heard on TV yesterday as you count the cars that roll by the street. Seven have already zipped past when the smaller gate creaks, revealing one of the most attractive people you’ve laid your eyes on.

Usually, King would greet you wearing his complete three-piece suit, hair slicked back into perfection while a condescending smirk danced across his lips. But on weekends, you could hardly imagine him being one of the most powerful men in Japan, given that he opts to wear a rumpled shirt that’s two sizes bigger and pajama pants with aliens patterned onto the fabric. His chestnut hair is sticking out in all directions in a way that suggests that he just rolled out of bed.

King half-greets, half-yawns, “Helho, (Name)-chwan.”

“Long night?” You quirk an eyebrow before handing him his purchase.

“Mmmm not really,” he says, rubbing his eyes. “I just ran into a couple of…business rivals. They didn’t make my morning very enjoyable.”

“I see.” You spare him a nod of understanding, trying your best not to stare at how adorable the way his brown eyes droop when he stares inside the bag. He makes a satisfied noise as he fishes his wallet from the pocket of his pajamas.

“A thousand yen, right?” You don’t miss the teasing lilt in his voice.

The way you giggle at that makes you want to slap yourself, but you manage to regain your composure before he notices it crumbling. “Sad to say the snobby cashier is giving me shit for the discounts. Could you pay for the full one thousand four hundred yen in the meantime, King-san?”

He chuckles before pulling out a single banknote from his wallet. “Keep the change then.”

You receive his payment with a curt bow but when your eyes land on the value of the money in hand, your jaw nearly drops to the ground.

“K-King-san, this is too much! Way too much!” The ten thousand yen bill quivers in your hands as you insist that you’d be alright with a smaller bill.

King waves away your concern. “Then just hand over the amount that snobby-chan wants. Keep the rest for yourself. Consider it as my compliments to the chef.” The grin plastered on his handsome face leaves you wondering how the hell this guy is still a bachelor. Your pretty certain that your face is as red as Tendou’s hair by now, and you’re glad he doesn’t point it out.

“It’s been nice seeing you today, (Name)-chan,” he chirps. “But I really have to go. I still have some matters to deal with after I’ve had my fill of this delicious treat.”

“You’re t-too kind,” you sputter.

Deliveries to King’s household last longer than your typical trips, since the man always charms you into some small talk. But that’s usually it. Nothing really lies beyond these swift meetings in front of his house. Even if he’s expressing some subtle interest towards you, at the end of the day, you’re just a humble baker and he, a successful businessman.

But today is quite different. Before he disappears behind the gate, King tells you, “I’m thinking about dropping by the bakery to see you in action. Expect me in a few days’ time.” His velvetine voice draws you in like a moth to a flame and all you could do was nod dumbly at his proclamation. He bids you a quick farewell with crinkled eyes and a peace sign. You know for certain that his sunlit smile is already imprinted in the back of your eyelids.

As you head back to the bakery on your scooter, King’s words only seem like one of his musings; something he won’t really act on given his tight schedule. What good would it do him to go out of his way to pay you a visit?

But little did you know that demons never lie.