#pikamhyr

[ooksaidthelibrarian]

I had to, for Reasons.

[astaldis]

Incorrect Witcher quote

[ooksaidthelibrarian]

He really doesn't want to share.

(Pokémon not to scale)

[astaldis]

ELECTRICAL ATTRACTION

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 100 Fandom: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types Rating: Explicit  Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings  Relationships: Emhyr var Emreis/Pikachu  Characters: Emhyr var Emreis, Pikachu  Additional Tags: Human/Monster Romance, Pokemon, Drabble, Blow Job, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, my beloved monster 

Summary:  Emhyr's sexuality is a very secret secret that not even Dijkstra has been able to uncover. Maybe it is better for the spy master's mental health that he hasn't. Caution: Mental health hazard. Uncover Emhyr's most secret secret at your own risk.

[astaldis]

May I proudly present -

My Witcher Monster MAYhem Masterlist:

Geraskier fic:

A Lesson in Prudence

"Jaskier, don't open the ...!" Geralt shouts, but it is already too late. The cast iron padlock still in his hands, Jaskier's eyes grow wide as the heavy wooden lid rises an inch by itself. Then, many tiny fingers sneak through the gap. The lid lifts several more inches into the air ...

Jaskier spends some time at Kaer Morhen. Being his usual curious self, of course, he gets into trouble and Geralt has to save his bard. (words: 854) (Jaskier Angst)

Prompts: Day 1 "Don't open the ...", Day 3 "Tiny monsters", "Pointy Teeth" and Day 7 "Isn't it cute?"

Kaer Morhen Witcher fic:

Die, Monster, Die

"Die, you mother-fucking monster! Will you finally die?" Lambert roars, yet the monster seems to have other plans. For the umpteenth time it reassembles its scattered fragments and attacks again. Damn!

While the "Girls" are not at home, the Witchers are attacked by a very strange monster, one they have never encountered, heard of or read of before. A monster that stubbornly refuses to die. (words: 1,623) (Lambert Whump, Friendship)

Prompt: Day 6 "Die, Monster, Die"

Cahir/Gallatin fic:

Yet Another Save

Finally spring has come and Gallatin is out hunting. Alone. Not a good idea in these times of contempt ... (words: 2,689) (Gallatin Whump, Friendship)

Prompt: Day 3 "Necrophage"

Hansa fics:

Smelly Goo Loves Company (or: Lucky that the bard brought plenty of soap)

While collecting firewood, Angoulême has an encounter with a creature that could easily have gone wrong. Fortunately, she is not alone. (words: 847) (Adventure, Friendship)

Prompts: Day 1 "Paralysed", Day 2 "Run!", Day 5 "Swamp Monster" 

Something In The Water:

It is spring and Milva wants to have a bath. Yet, something goes terribly wrong. Lucky that she has her Hanza, and especially one Emiel Regis Rohellec Terzieff-Godefroy. (words: 1,875) (Milva Whump, Friendship)

Prompts: Day 2 "Bulging Eyes", Day 3 "Necrophage", Day 5 "Fuck, there's another one" and Day 6 "Surrounded"

Not A Good Place To Stay The Night ...

Forced off the main road south by advancing Nilfgaardian troops, Geralt and his weird company find themselves inside a dark, eerie forest, and night is falling soon. (words: 5,530) (Cahir Whump, Friendship)

Warning: Better do not read if you are afraid of spiders!

Prompts: Day 1 "Paralysed", Day 2 "Vampire", Day 4 "Hairy Legs" & Picture prompt, Day 5 "Too Many Limbs", Day 7 "Creepy Crawlies", Alt. "Bat out of Hell"

What would you do if ...?

One day in the fairytale Duchy of Toussaint, while Anarietta and Fringilla have to attend the bachelorette party of a relative, all the members of Geralt's Hansa are spending a rare evening together in the kitchen of Beauclair Castle, playing games and having fun. Well, at least some of them are having fun. (words: 666) (crackfic)

Alt. prompt: "Flying Spaghetti Monster"

This Is Not A Chicken Egg!

On their travels through Riverdell, Jaskier finds a strange egg. It is just about to hatch, but what the hell is it? And what the fuck does it have to do with Emhyr var Emreis? (words: 1,356) (crackfic, Pikachu/Emhyr mentioned)

Prompts: Day 3 "Tiny Monsters" and Day 7 "Isn't it cute?"

Pikachu/Emhyr fics:

Electrical Attraction

Emhyr's sexuality is a very secret secret that not even Dijkstra has been able to uncover. Maybe it is better for the spy master's mental health that he hasn't. Caution: Mental health hazard. Uncover Emhyr's most secret secret at your own risk. (words: 100) (crackfic)

Prompt: Day 2 "My Beloved Monster"

A Weighty Decision

Ciri and Emhyr have to make a weighty decision that might forever change the fate of the Empire. For the better or worse? Who knows ... (words: 600) (crackfic)

Prompt: Day 7 (lyrics) "Cheerful, cheerful/Furry, happy monsters feeling glad"

Witcher Geralt fic:

A Pet For The Witcher

Geralt happens upon an old acquaintance of his who is doing something he does not like - at all. He does, however, like a lot what comes of this unexpected reunion.

Prompt: Day 4 "Were-"

[astaldis]

@bittersweetbark​

Chapters: 1/1    Words: 600 Fandom: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon & Emhyr var Emreis, Emhyr var Emreis/Pikachu (Pokemon) Characters: Emhyr var Emreis, Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon, Pikachu (Pokemon) Additional Tags: pikamhyr, Established Relationship, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Furry happy monsters feeling glad

Summary: Ciri and Emhyr have to make a weighty decision that might forever change the fate of the Empire. For the better or worse? Who knows ...

[astaldis]

For the ask by anonymous (Marina): Emhyr fucks Pikachu 

Chapters: 1/1    Words: 1,348 Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Emhyr var Emreis/Pikachu (mentioned) Characters: Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Emiel Regis Rohellec Terzieff-Godefroy, Cahir Mawr Dyffryn aep Ceallach, The Hansa | Geralt's Company Members (The Witcher) Additional Tags: Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Crack Crossover, don't take this seriously, for Marina, Humour, very mild smut, Pokemon

Summary: On their travels through Riverdell, Jaskier finds a strange egg. It is just about to hatch, but what the hell is it? And what the fuck does it have to do with Emhyr var Emreis?

[ooksaidthelibrarian]

Why is Emhyr a bad guy?

Because he doesn't share his Pokémon harem.

[ooksaidthelibrarian]

Pikachu fucks Geralt…

nah, I think Pikachu is too attached to Emhyr (ok, maybe if Emhyr asks nicely and wants to watch)

[astaldis]

Why are the Roche/Ciri pictures worse than the Iornon drawings? Just recently, we drew a new drawing with VernonCiri, but it's still not good enough for you, like any creativity about this ship

Sorry, no idea what you're talking about Marina - again. I'm neither interested in Iornon nor VernonCiri nor really in any other ship if it does not have my fav character in it (or is Pikamhyr 🤣). I have no ieawhich drawing you're talking about. But I don't send random people in the Witcher fandom asks and pictures about my fav character (who they probably have no interest in at all or even hate) although there are far, far too few fics with him. Everybody has their own taste in who they fall in love with and which ships they like or dislike. I'm not a missionary. Of course I'd be very happy if more people wrote about him (maybe after season 4?) But still, bothering others with strange asks would probably make them dislike him even more. Which apparently is what has been happening with VernonCiri. So, my advice, stop sending (anonymous) asks. Let people ship whatever they want to ship. And create your own things for the ship you enjoy. But don't expect (many) others to like or share it. Good luck!