#pissing contests

[itswhatyougive]

It's hilarious seeing everyone in the OFMD tag giving various levels of "here's how much better than you I am for believing it's totally cool and fine that Izzy died"

[kurgarru]

In fairness to all Britainologists, the closest USA! USA! USA! equivalent I can think of eventually resulted in a $16 million dollar wrongful death payout to the family of Jennifer Strange:

[shotmrmiller]

silly little thought of trying to bait a reaction out of simon because even though monogamy is inferred with the both of you, he seems to not give a damn if you actually are. (your privacy became nonexistent the moment you invited him into your home. he knows you turn anyone interested down and those that can't take a hint, take one from him.)

and that stings. that he isn't even wondering just who could be texting you so late at night when his cum is still warm between your thighs stings. you'd like the chance to tell him that you're your own person at least once.

so you make the terrible, awful decision of batting your lashes at his friend, johnny— the overly friendly (borderline invasive) scottish man who could talk paint off a wall.

(he didn't even try to seem like he wasn't interested. one small curl of your lip shot his way and he was already sliding in the barstool next to yours, clever fingers warm around your thigh.)

what had meant to be a not-so-innocent flirt here and there ended up with your skirt rucked up to your waist and your ankles crossed around his. that after the fact, johnny casually brings up how simon and he have shared guns, bandages and spit before so simon oughta not mind sharing you either had you speechless.

(being so guilt-ridden you 'fess up to simon and he instead asks you how many times did johnny make you come.)

[zan0tix]

STUPID PARADOX SPACE STYLE DJ COMIC

[sixbynine-da]

Either the cat king is the only cat king and he just chooses to chill in an abandoned cannery in small town America.

Or

Every town/city has a cat king and he is just the cat king of some small town America and lives in an abandoned cannery thus implying he is not a very important cat king in the hierarchy of cat kings.

[mint-chocolate-flakes]

I think Liir and Callie would’ve been friends

Doodles cuz art block

All I know about Liir is that he got his mom’s bisexuality. Idk how to draw him either

I am also tripping balls rn

[curioushabitforarivergod]

as an australian i felt offence at belindas “first australia then the rest of space?” excuse me, australia is as much a part of europe as the rest of the eurovision as this map clearly shows

[leafie-draws]

not to sound dramatic or anything but if I had billions of dollars to spend on nothing i would just give it to people tbh if i were a billionaire I'd achieve feats like fixing the housing crisis, preventing earth's termination and feeding every person on earth forever and I would be so so silly about it

[scurvyboy]

the fact that chaos from hades will win the tumblr sexyenby contest is such bullshit. the fact that gonzo got voted off is a testament to man's foolishness that i will tolerate no longer. this means war. gonzo is a pillar of the community, he was nonbinary before that bitch was even born. if chaos from hades wins you will not hear from me because i'll be in jail, for murder. #justiceforgonzo

[pocketgalaxies]

beau and caleb butting heads so bad about what to do with essek...oof!

[saints-who-never-existed]

"Early in the twentieth century, the courageous but hapless Robert Falcon Scott, who regarded man-hauling as a test of virility, would lead his men to their deaths in the Antarctic after being reduced to crossing any icy barrens by this means. The experienced Rae, with no doubts at all about his manhood, entertained no illusions about man-hauling. He knew the Inuit used sled dogs for a reason and that dragging even well-designed sledges weighing hundreds of pounds across an endless expanse of jagged ice, with hands and shoulders rubbed raw by ropes, while blizzards raged or the glare of reflected sunlight burned eyes to watering, was killing work."

- Fatal Passage, Ken McGoogan

In other words - Virgin Scott vs Chad Rae REAL?

[lungbarrowoakdownobsessedbitch]

Honestly Kate “I’m glad he’s not here, he would stop me” lethbridge stewart, if only you’d seen 15 torturing kid, you would understand just how wrong you were.

[shotmrmiller]

price and simon probably are competing on who has the most kids by the end of whatever years

exactly. price gets it done tho because his wife is nice and compliant and in love meanwhile simon's got himself one who's more career oriented and she can smell the testosterone in the air every time they meet up and talk about kids and pregnancies and the shit they built by hand for their wives and look at his grill it's nice and big and-

[himawanai]

ooc and problematic ijichis

[neiljostensracooninstinct]

My european heart somehow needs Kevin to be a Eurovision fan.

To an extention, he forced Jean to watch it with him once, and now Jean watches it with Jeremy.

Ofc Nicky is also a fan, he started following the competition when he was in Germany.

Sometimes, when their plans match, they all meet and watch Eurovision together.

It's true. And I know it because yes.

[aeolianblues]

Oh my god so you don't like Sabrina Carpenter. Should we give you music listener of the year award? Should we tell Radiohead