#please let me in the commune...

[actual-corpse]

Why in the fuck do we have FIVE POUNDS OF FROZEN CHICKEN LEGS?!?

My mom has not eaten dark meat since she allegedly got sick once as a child, and Granny specially made her chicken breast (the grown-up food) but soon I will force her to eat dark meat by shoving in the crockpot and shredding it to be used in enchiladas and other shredded chicken meals.

[kensatou]

"we know how to move our bodies, but i didn't know how to manage my heart, so you need help for this"

hi we need to talk more about judo gold medallist christa deguchi.

[mister-ancunin]

Imagine holding your f/o after a long, long day.

Imagine how they curl up in your embrace, your arms tightening around their frame as you pull them closer. The way they begin to ease, feeling your gentle kisses pressed into their skin. Do they give a little smile when hearing your murmuring words of comfort?

Imagine slowly rocking them side to side, doing whatever you can to feel them relax. They appreciate how safe and secure you make them, how determined you are to help in any which way.

They know they don’t have to hide anything from you, least of all, their struggles.

[snowberttt]

have some tnm doodles because im actully hjeart broken ( some more tnm art will come later! ) tnm 6 spoilers kinda

[ilovegt]

Part 13

Previous|| next

It was the most stifling part of all, but it was worth it.

I FINALLY FINISHED IT!!!🎉🎉🎉 Hurray!! I'm trying to improve my drawing (I recently watched the first parts... Damn it ಠ⁠,⁠_⁠｣⁠ಠ ...)

[mikachusblog]

⋆˚࿔ pre college reintroductions ˚⭑.ᐟ

student ids below ↴

[ping-ski]

eclipse and y/n are finally done!! (you can find EBY sun & moon here)

these refs aren't that much different from the old ones aside from small changes :3

(old) EBY DCA ref

(old) Y/N ref

[venethus-flytrapped]

i've had this post rotating in my head for like five hours. SO YOU KNOW selfship uplifter post. and obviously; proship/comship/problematic shippers DNI EVER

┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄

shoutout to selfshippers who use literally themself! i know it may be silly to shout this out because there's either more or less "personal" selfshippers out there, but i personally don't see a lot of that. of course, i'll never hate on someone who doesn't use "literally" themselves, but i feel like ocs tend to be more popular or widespread! which is totally cool and great and i am in you guys' corner forever, but i wanna shout out people like me. because sometimes i end up feeling lonely or a little out of place or awkward because i kinda really outgrew my oc/cc phase. it gets a little awkward sometimes and i get those lingering fears of being judged or that how i choose to selfship would be looked over as opposed to an oc— again, that's not to diss anyone, it's more of a silly worry that others may be able to relate to.

shoutout to the selfshippers who it's "them" to every detail— from their personalities, to their appearance, to their preferences, to their flaws and "issues" (re: something the selfshipper struggles with). to the people who selfship using themselves because they themself want to feel special, that using themself in their most accurate form or presentation makes them feel more loved. you are always valid, and your f/o will always love you.

shoutout to selfshippers who portray themselves down to the very detail. that being hairstyle/hair-type, their appearance in terms of their body whether that is their weight and being big or small. or maybe you're a hairy femme or a smooth masc. big applause to selfshippers who get down little details like markings, how they smile, their eye/nose/lip types. much love to the selfshippers who more or less embrace "themself" in their portrayals.

shoutout to the selfshippers who selfship using themself, but it may not be super 1:1 of how they present themselves irl, and yet, it's still them! maybe it's dressing yourself in a style you can't do/have no interest in doing/can't afford to do. maybe it's you with alternative hairstyles opposed to the one you always have irl/hairstyles you can't always do. maybe you have an alternative hair color! to selfshippers who add on body modifications despite not having them irl because of any reason despite you always wanting one. shoutout to the selfshippers who, it's more or less them, but maybe their portrayals use their different names the selfshipper themself uses. that it's basically them, just under a different name. shoutout to selfshippers who, it is them, but they're not human! maybe it's a fursona, monstersona, etc— them in a different form!

shoutout to the selfshippers who use literally themselves to cope. be it handling their trauma, disorders or disabilities, illnesses— people who want comfort for those things and implement them more personally onto this accurate presentation of themself to feel that love from their faves. that they don't use a different portrayal for these personal struggles because maybe they want to imagine their fave loving them, not some stand-in or someone else that isn't them.

shoutout to selfshippers who use literally themself because they are saddened by the idea of their fave loving someone that isn't them. that the idea of them liking someone who isn't them because of how they look/act makes them feel really upset. maybe you were cast aside for that. that selfshipping using their literal self makes you feel appreciated beyong belief. that it might actually help you grow to appreciate yourself more and maybe even get better in places where you struggle— maybe using yourself helps you get better mentally or physically of emotionally.

there may be so many other reasons, but these were the ones that came to mind. if you have another reason, you're always very valid. your f/o wouldn't love you less for being you in your most "true" state, as we'll say. they wouldn't prefer you over some heavily altered version of yourself or how people would idealize you. they wouldn't prefer if you used an oc over you. they love 1000%, and nothing will change that— as long as you're happy.

[dazzyhatzy]

pretend i wrote smth good here uhh xfohv new ep art once again

also NO MORE BURNOUT YESS

can u find the 3 hidden watermarks before its too late !?

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

@support @staff what in the world is going on? I keep getting auth errors when I try to post things and when I tried to log out in order to log back in the website keeps error looping me to the offline tumblr page rather than logging me in properly.

this is like my 4th attempt to log in by going to the login page directly via URL. It also seems to have locked me onto the bright white colour scheme, nothing I click is working? Drafts are saving but nothing else is functional?

[seyvia]

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

₊˚⊹♡𝕋ℍ𝔸ℕ𝕂 𝕐𝕆𝕌 𝔽𝕆ℝ 𝟙,𝟘𝟘𝟘 𝔽𝕆𝕃𝕃𝕆𝕎𝔼ℝ𝕊✧˖ °Σ(°ロ°~)

Here's a little Giftie for you! I had intended to give them to you from the beginning, but I truly appreciate all the requests! they kept me going~

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

update info!: I uploaded the boys back before the big update with lashes. So the 'MMSims lashes' and the Kijiko needed meshes are all out of date and need to be deleted. (Here is a link to the updated lashes I used, they are the maxis match set) and kijiko's because they are necessary for the other one to work. (here & here) Thankfully I tested them and that is the only thing wrong. I'm sorry for the inconvenience, I can't update them all by myself at this moment so I appreciate your patients. Updated with alternative download links! Please do!

Credit me. I worked hard on these sims. ( •̯́ ₃ •̯̀)

Tag me if you use them for something!

Change them into your sim style! / give them makeovers!

Please do not!

Please don't claim as your own creations. Don't reupload them somewhere else. Especially dangerous sites where you make money off of my free downloads.

NOTES

Not all packs are required for downloading! Simply substitute any missing components on the sim. All cc included! Even my defaults! If you happen to have any conflicting defaults that you prefer, simply locate the default file that comes upon download and delete it. All of them have outfits, skills, careers, likes and dislikes, lifestyles, etc etc. Everything I thought would fit the characters best, you can check it all out for yourselves! (Some have more than others (ᵕ—ᴗ—)ʱªʱª ) you can change these to suit yourself. on the gallery too, but that doesn't include cc, so they'll definitely look a bit off.

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

𝕊𝔼𝔹𝔸𝕊𝕋𝕀𝔸ℕ 𝔻𝕆𝕎ℕ𝕃𝕆𝔸𝔻 (sfs

-old files) 𝔸𝕃𝕋 𝕕𝕠𝕨𝕟𝕝𝕠𝕒𝕕 -updated Jan 2025)

Seb was the only one who got a face update because I wasn't happy with his mouth shape, plus, I got better mono-lid cc. He looks better to me now but I'll keep the old files up for anyone who disagrees. ( ´◡` )

-the middle one is with no makeup.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶

𝕊𝔸𝕄 𝔻𝕆𝕎ℕ𝕃𝕆𝔸𝔻 (sfs

-old files) 𝔸𝕃𝕋 𝕕𝕠𝕨𝕟𝕝𝕠𝕒𝕕 -updated Jan 2025)

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶

ℍ𝔸ℝ𝕍𝔼𝕐 𝔻𝕆𝕎ℕ𝕃𝕆𝔸𝔻 (sfs

-old files) 𝔸𝕃𝕋 𝕕𝕠𝕨𝕟𝕝𝕠𝕒𝕕 -updated Jan 2025)

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶

𝔸𝕃𝔼𝕏 𝔻𝕆𝕎ℕ𝕃𝕆𝔸𝔻 (sfs

-old files) 𝔸𝕃𝕋 𝕕𝕠𝕨𝕟𝕝𝕠𝕒𝕕 -updated Jan 2025)

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶

𝕊ℍ𝔸ℕ𝔼 𝔻𝕆𝕎ℕ𝕃𝕆𝔸𝔻 (sfs

-old files) 𝔸𝕃𝕋 𝕕𝕠𝕨𝕟𝕝𝕠𝕒𝕕 -updated Jan 2025)

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶

𝔼𝕃𝕃𝕀𝕆𝕋𝕋 𝔻𝕆𝕎ℕ𝕃𝕆𝔸𝔻 (dropbox -old files) 𝔸𝕃𝕋 𝕕𝕠𝕨𝕟𝕝𝕠𝕒𝕕 -updated Jan 2025)

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

lots of credit to all the cc creators!💖 and done!

[rebornofstars]

really whats interesting to me is that if u stay involved in a fandom long enough u get an evolution of scrolling from: ooh! - ooh! - ooh! - OH i didn't realise this was a trope - ooh! - OH - ooh! - ooh!!

to smth more like: read that - read that - oh LOOK it's my mutual - omg that one looks SO GOOD i love the trope subversion - wrote that - read that - oh my friends have been screaming about this one - wrote that - oh LOOK it's my mutual - read that - FRESH MEAT LETS GO SAY HELLO and its

SO beautiful and joyous. being a member of a community is fun!!!!! being so familiar with a tiny corner of the internet is fascinating!!!!! seeing the connections between yourself and other people is crazy cool!!!! we're all here on the web page together!!!! i see you and i love you!!!!!!

[overbaked-tkls]

this is the last fic i have stockpiled so. if yall like my writing feel free to put suggestions on this post or send an ask :) otherwise I'll be getting back to making some drawings for my main

(this is a sfw tickle fic! if you don't like it don't read it)

“Maybe your memory is just failing you…"

words: 2,346

ler!guest1337, lee!elliot (relationship is ambiguous cuz i kinda fw pizzapnch (pls don't jump me)

summary: elliot doubts his usefulness, guest makes him list all of his contributions to the team.

-

1337 was very admirable. Always running into danger for others, helping the team whenever possible. Taking hits, so others could get away. Things that Elliot could never do. He was so weak, compared to him. Three or so hits could take him from being perfectly fine to, well. Back in the cabin, let’s say. Guest? He could tank five or six before getting concerned . As much as Elliot did end up running beside danger just to toss a pizza, he felt it wasn’t anywhere near the courage Guest had. No matter how much people thanked him for a heal, he still felt cowardly every time he had to run from a scene. On top of that, sometimes he missed his throws. His aim was terrible , more often than not. 

In the round they just went through, him missing his throw resulted in Guest dying. If he had just been a little more accurate, he would have survived. It was his fault, he should’ve-

“Yooo, Elliot. You gonna get up from the table, orr?” The avian swordsman waved a hand in front of Elliot, a reminder that yes, he did in fact still exist, and yes, he had zoned out at the table. 

Again.

Elliot cleared his throat, standing up. “Oh- yeah.. Whoops.” The delivery boy rubbed the back of his head, adjusting his ponytail.

“Great round by the way. Super close that time, yeah?” Shedletsky suggested, snacking on a fried chicken leg.

“Yeah.. super close ..” Elliot winced, looking away.

Shed raised an eyebrow, but didn’t question it. “Well, it should’ve been the last one of the day. Rest up, yeah?” He punched Elliot’s shoulder lightly, before walking off.

Elliot had to apologize to 1337. Guilt gnawed at him like the poison 1x killed Guest with. Elliot was often the first one to die in many rounds– him and Noob. He’d seen how everyone acted when they rematerialized in the cabin- their reactions to dying ranging from overcoming, paralyzing fear, to just disgruntled. The war veteran, as Elliot had seen, would usually either stay in the main room to greet people as they died, or go outside. Given 1337 wasn’t anywhere to be seen inside, Elliot assumed the latter. Passing behind the other survivors which had already settled in various places, the visor-equipped support quietly went out the front door.

1337 was leaning on the porch railing, thankfully unoccupied. Elliot wouldn’t want to bother Guest. Not after all that…

“Ay, Ellie.” Guest had heard him come outside. “How are you? Did the rest of the round go well?”

He was so.. Casual. Well. As casual as a veteran can be, that is. What really confused Elliot is how every time 1337 died, he never seemed to be too bothered.

“Um. I’m alright.” Mediocre. “The round went.. Okay, after you, y’know. It was a little more difficult without you there.” I’m sorry.

“Hey.. doesn’t sound too bad!” Guest commented, smiling.

Elliot always felt a certain way every time he saw Guest’s smile. It inspired him, and made him wonder how someone could be so confident, yet so encouraging.

“Yeah, not too bad.” Elliot echoed, humming. He walked over to be beside the other.

There was silence for a few moments. Guest waited for Elliot to speak, assuming there was a reason he had come out here in the first place.

 “... I’m sorry.” The pizza boy finally stated, putting his face in his hands as he also leaned against the railing.

Guest raised an eyebrow, turning his head towards Elliot. “For?”

“Getting you killed?” Elliot questions, also looking at the other.

“... Are you feeling alright, Elliot?” 

“Oh, don’t pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about just to make me feel better.” Elliot stopped leaning on the railing, taking a few steps back to lean on the wall of the cabin. He crossed his arms.

“I missed my pizza throw, you didn’t get the heal, you died. It was my fault.”

There was more silence for a bit, until Guest sighed. “Ellie, I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but you’re being absolutely ridiculous. You missing your pizza throw does not mean you got me killed. Think about all the times I’ve missed a punch, especially in saving you.”

“Well of course it’s okay if you miss. You already do so much! And I end up failing more often than not. It’s not the same.” Elliot frowns, looking down.

“Like- the round before the one we just did, you stunned John Doe EIGHT times. And you walked through all of the traps so we could escape! I can’t do any of that-” He takes off his visor, hastily carding a hand through his hair.

“That doesn’t change the amount of times you’ve saved my ass and everyone else’s-” The veteran argued, trying to stop Elliot’s very incorrect train of thought. It's called a 'train' for a reason, though.

“Or yesterday, when you stunned 1x right as she almost beheaded me with her projectiles.” I would have died.

“Ellie.”

“Or when you tanked that walk speed override for Builder when he was low-” I wish I could help like that.

“Elliot.”

“Like how do I even-”

“Elliot!”

The pizza boy in question froze, looking back at the soldier. He had to look up a little, for the height difference. It was a little scary for a second.

“How does praising my services come so easy to you, but you can’t take pride in your own!?” Guest hummed, discontentedly.

Elliot fidgeted with his hands, thinking he was just being scolded. Of course Guest was angry– he messed up again. 

The other crossed his arms, expression softening. Fuck, he really didn’t intend to say that so harshly. Instant regret pooled, only increasing as he looked down at Elliot’s rather pitiful expression. Nonetheless, he had to continue. “That’s a question, Ell.”

“I- I don’t know. It’s just…” Elliot made unintelligible hand gestures, before they fell to his sides. “You’re very brave, Guest. I wish I had that quality.”

Guest’s mouth hung open slightly, before he responded. “Are you kidding ? You’re totally brave! What makes you think you’re not?” Elliot ran into the line of fire so often just to deliver a quick slice of pizza. What about that isn’t brave?

“I don’t feel like I am.” He admitted, quietly. He never did. Coward.

“Oh come on … You don’t have to feel brave to be brave, Elliot.”

Elliot was quiet for a moment, before he looked off to the side. His face reddened, slightly. Damn, no wonder Noob saw this guy as their idol. Clearly, ‘Be strong, always be strong’ wasn’t his only example of being well-spoken.

Without response, Guest continued. “Being brave is doing things even when you’re scared, and well. I can always tell from your expression how scared you are during the rounds, heh. But you support others anyway, even if just for a moment.”

“... Really?” Elliot asked, as if 1337 might take it back.

The veteran chuckled. “Yeah.”

Instantly through the silence, the air seemed a little less suffocating to Elliot, like the guilt wafted away. But the self doubt somehow still remained, lingering like a cloud around him.

Guest came up with… something. It was a little stupid, (and admittedly a little cruel), but it would prove his point no matter the outcome. Being ‘nice’ never seemed to work with this one, anyway. “... Elliot.”

“Hm?” Elliot looked back at him, tilting his head. “I want you to list everyone you healed today in each round.”

“... well, that’s not that many people.” Elliot put his visor back on his head, a little loosely.

1337 laughed, slightly. “If it’s not that many, I’m sure you’ll have no problem.”

“...” Elliot hesitated, knowing the soldier was right.

“Go on, then.”

Elliot complied, starting to list who he could remember. “Well uh. In the round we just played, I healed Chance…”

“Uh-huh.” Guest leaned back against the same wall, and put an arm around the other’s shoulder. Elliot suddenly found it a little hard to concentrate.

“Uhm.” He hesitated some more. “I think I also healed Dusekkar and n7.” After that, he didn’t say anything. There was a burning silence. 

Guest chuckled, filling in the gap. “Elliot, I know you can remember farther than one round.”

Elliot wracked his brain. He really didn’t want to let Guest down here, it was a simple question.

Elliot’s inability to answer was kind of the point, though. 

“Well… If you’re having such a hard time listing them, then you must be doing too much for the team to remember, huh?” Guest teased. Well, it was a half tease, half compliment. That was as mean as 1337 would get. Probably.

Elliot quickly denied the claim without even thinking about what it meant. “N-no, I can list everyone! Just… give me a minute.” He leaned forward, crossing his arms in thought.

“Take your time.” Taking advantage of Elliot’s back being no longer being pressed against the wall, the veteran carefully moved his hand down from the pizza deliverer’s shoulder, resting it at Elliot’s side. Elliot was too focused trying to answer the question that he didn’t think much of the hand placement, and only when Guest ‘accidentally’ squeezed, did he notice. Even then, Elliot assumed it was just that– an accident.

After a few repetitions of the same action, though, Elliot realized two things. One being that he could no longer focus, and two being 1337 was definitely doing that on purpose.

“Guehest, you realize I can’t answeher the question if you do that, rihight?” Elliot grabbed the soldiers hand, catching himself slipping as a wobbly smile messily painted itself across his face– replacing the old frown.

“Do what?” Guest spun his wrist, taking it out of Elliot’s grasp, before repeating what he was doing before at a quicker pace. “Maybe your memory is just failing you… Here, just start from the beginning of today. Who did you heal in the first round? Even I remember.”

Four rounds, in total. Elliot took a small step away from Guest as a half-assed attempt to get away, and Guest advanced a step in return. Now they were facing each other. “Ihi- okay-”

“You, Taph, Builder and- uh..” Elliot jerked a bit, his loosely fitted visor falling over his face as 1337 squeezed one of the spots between his ribs, digging his thumb in just enough to not hurt.  

So unfair , Elliot thought as he pushed his visor up again, just enough to see the person in front of him. He was intentionally making it harder to answer.

“Shehed! I healed Shed–”

Guest smiled. “Mhm, okay. The one after that? This one’s easy. You only healed two people during the second round.”

Elliot couldn’t tell if that was a good or bad thing considering his current predicament, but thinking about that made him give the wrong answer.

“Chance and-” Cut off by his own muffled wheezy giggles, Elliot slapped a hand over his mouth.

The soldier hummed, shaking his head as he used both his hands to dig into the side of the poor worker’s stomach. “Wasn’t Chance…”

Elliot removed the hand from his mouth only to speak a few words, “Noob ahand Two Tihime?”

“Is that a question? Say it like you mean it, Ellie.” Guest encouraged, amused.

“Duhuhude!” Elliot complained, his hands clearly undecided between shoving at Guest, protecting himself, or making a futile attempt to hide the overall sunniness of his expression.

“ Alriight , fine. One more, since you already told me about the round we just did.”

“Hohow many peheople?” Elliot asked, wanting any type of hint. Because if he was being honest, he had no clue whatsoever who he healed, and he was slowly going cotton-brained.

The veteran makes sure to take his time ‘thinking’, as he drilled both his thumbs into the other’s hips.“Pretty sure it was seven. Oh, wait, no. Six, and you healed someone twice.” He pretended to ignore the two octave increase in the other’s wheezes.

“... Aand you have to tell me who” Guest adds on, grinning.

“You cahan’t be seriohous- Fuhuck you, Guest-!” Elliot wheezed out, stumbling slightly. The curse was completely empty in value– only four minutes ago, Elliot might have just sacrificed himself to the cake monster if he caught himself saying something like that to the person in front of him.

“Totally serious” 1337 assured, even when the opposite message was written all over his face. “Well?”

He only received laughter in response as he stared at the support, who seemed to have decided the floor looked really interesting given the fact Eliiot hadn’t looked up at the sentinel in at least a minute now. Because of this, the support also hadn’t noticed his visor slide off his head, to which Guest had caught with one hand and set on the porch railing.

“I dohon’t remehember–” Elliot finally conceded, tripping over himself as he stepped back. He would have fallen, if Guest didn’t put an arm behind him, and steady his balance.

“Hah. Really, you don't?" 1337 waited a few seconds longer, as if he would get a response other than wheezy laughter.

"That’s okay, Elliot. That was kind of the entire point.” The veteran said, now taking both hands to make sure the other wouldn’t topple over.

There was silence, of course tainted by leftover quiet titters.

“Oh, was it nohow?” Elliot asked, only half sarcastically. He tried clearing his throat, like it would somehow get rid of the leftover feeling in his nerves after the other stopped. “I couldn’t tell since you made it so hard to focus…”

Guest laughed. Real, genuine. He didn’t really fake anything that often. “I make it hard for you to focus? Good to know, I’ll make sure to avoid you during rounds.” 

Elliot gasped, half offended, half embarrassed. “Wh- no, you– ugh…” He sighed, as he felt his visor being put back on his head by the soldier.

1337 hummed. “You should really try remembering what you do for the team, you know. You do help, a lot.” 

“Do I?” 

... Does this person have memory loss? “Do y- Do I need to make you list everything again?”

Nervous laughter. “NOpe! No sir.”

[gumi-vm2]

I can’t get behind the concept of twink Albus he has BIG BICEPS and CHUB on his STOMACH and a HAPPY TRAIL

[gt-daboss]

The Double Lie

Warnings: PTSD implied, Heavy Angst, lots of crying, self-hate, lots of tension, kinda whumpy (but a happy ending!)

~1500 words

(This is by far my most self-indulgent story I've ever posted)

“Honey!” A sickly sweet voice called from the kitchen, her voice as songlike as he had always remembered it, yet like everything after his escape, it felt different. “The cookies are cooled, do… do you want to eat them together?”

There it was, the very fact that she had to ask. He hated it. Why did she have to ask him to eat cookies together- why? He knew the answer, but it only made it worse: Because I asked her to.

Before he could even properly respond, her head peeked through the crack in the doorway. Her eye, larger than his head, scanned the room for him. “Oh- were you sleeping?” Cleo suddenly whispered, before spotting him on his desk.

Markus almost didn’t want to respond, as though if he stayed silent his problems would too, but alas… “No, sorry, just… focused…” he almost left it at that, but seeing her dejected face made him stir up some extra courage, “I-I’d love for a cookie, actually, that would be great.”

Building up courage to talk to your wife, you’re so pathetic

It didn’t help that she was taking deliberately quiet steps, no doubt so that she wouldn’t ‘startle’ him like she had their reunion together.

With a clack, Cleo set the plate down on his desk and sat down opposite to him. The smell of her cooking made him look up at the treat she was offering. Three cookies for herself, and one -much smaller, though still giant-sized- for him. The scene brought back so- so many memories, but as with everything, the same creeping feeling returned to ruin it.

“So…” Cleo said, plucking the chocolate-infused wafer between two fingers, raising it quickly to the sky. “How’s the book going? Your editor finally ready to publish?”

Right, his book, the story of what happened to him, thankfully, he had already finished it, meaning he would hopefully be able to leave that part of his life behind. “It’s going… we’re hoping to finalize it this week actually.”

Cleo’s eyes sparked with joy, her wonderful smile that he loved lit up like a firework, even he couldn’t suppress a smile seeing it, she was just that infectious. “Oh my god, that's wonderful! You better eat your cookies now, you deserve it. Plus,” she said, in a singsong voice, raising her treat to her mouth and taking a bite, “these have gotta be the best cookies I’ve ever made, seriously babe.”

But instead of responding in kind, supporting his wife, or even just saying nothing at all, He couldn’t. Without even thinking, he blurted

“Can- can you chew quieter?” already as he said it he felt like an asshole, Cleo had gone out of her way to give him a treat, to help him- And he was spitting on her. Quickly scrambling, he added, “It- damnit- It just… it reminds me of uhm… of what those people did.”

Cleo stared blankly, if only for a moment, but it was all he needed to let the self-loathing continue. It was only a matter of time at this point; he was a shell of who he once was, he knew it, his friends knew it, and now, Cleo would know it too.

“Oh- oh uhm, yeah, of course, of course I can. Yeah, that was kind of silly of me to not notic-”

“No,” he interrupted, he couldn’t stand the thought of slowly losing her, slowly watching as her love for him, her love for who he once was, slowly fall apart as she realized that man was gone. At least- at least, if I go out on my own terms, I can save her the time of realizing it for herself, at least this will be quick. “You- you don’t have to appologize for me being a half assed piece of shit.”

Cleo’s eyes widened, stuttering for a moment, “Markus, you-”

“I just- why do you even humor my requests when they are stuff like that? You’re a giant, and you need to eat, I… I shouldn’t even be asking you to do stupid things like that to make myself feel better.”

Markus couldn’t even meet her eyes, but he felt them boring a hole into him, like ripping off a band-aid.

“It-it’s not stupid if it makes you more comfortable,” she responded, but her voice sounded strained, like she was struggling to talk to him, his heart ached at the thought, but it has to be this way.

“Dammit Clee’ I- I just- I’m scared of you chewing loudly, I’m- my heart races when I hear loud footsteps,” He responded, eyes averted as he grit his teeth and looked down, as if that would ease the pain. “I can’t even be around you without making you follow my bullshit ‘rules’ because I’m- I’m scared, and I don’t know why but I am. How- How can you even be around someone like that?”

Now Cleo’s voice sounded very strained, a giant-sized frog in her throat blocking her airways. he knew if he looked up he would see her distraught face, tears brimming her eyes. “Because, Markus,” She said, sniffing and swallowing her frog, “I love you. Is that not enough?”

There was no turning back now, “Cleo,” he started, his own vocals betraying him as well as he struggled to get his thoughts past his tongue. “The man you used to love is gone, I-I’m not him anymore, I’m not strong, I’m not brave, I’m pathetic. You don’t deserve someone who can’t-”

“That's enough!” Cleo shrieked, “I won’t I won’t hear another damn word. Not one. Not one!” she glared daggers into him, as if daring him to interrupt her passion. Eyes wet, she could still see his small form on her desk, the person she had failed to protect.

“I said I love you,” She screamed, her voice shaking with a hurricane of rage, fear, and love. “Not you from the god damn past, not your- your imagined version of yourself where you are ‘strong-’ I love,” she hiccuped from the tears, before jamming a finger in his direction. “You. The man standing in front of me right god damn now, and nobody else!”

Neither responded for a while; only the heavy, exasperated breathing of the giant and her occasional hiccups were heard.

“Cleo…” but his words ignited the fire inside her once again,

“You- you wanna talk about the real ‘half assed piece of shit,’ well you’re looking right at her! Right in front for everyone to see,” she rebuked, tears streaming down her face like a river. “The only- the only giant who would let their human lover get kidnapped right under her fucking nose because she was such a half assed piece of filth!”

“You- You talk about strength as if somehow- as if SOMEHOW, you have lost it. I can’t imagine how, considering while I was sitting at home, with all the ‘strength’ in the world, utterly fucking useless. All I could do was sit in this house, and cry, cry until my voice went hoarse, so nothing. While you not only saved yourself, but everyone else who had been captured by those vile, despicable cockroaches- I couldn’t even get myself off the floor to HELP YOU!”

…

It seemed Cleo had wanted to say more, but her body wouldn’t let her- voice hoarse and constant hiccups, sniffs, and floods of tears making it impossible to do anything but look at her lover while she tried to calm down. It wasn’t easy, but eventually both of their hearts stopped racing at last. Wiping her tears from her eyes, Cleo moved from her chair to her knees, looking upward at Markus on the desk.

“I just… I just-” she tried to start, but her fire from earlier was gone, “I just never got to say that I was sorry, sorry for letting that happen to you- you came back and I-I- I wanted to say it right away, but I knew you were hurting and didn’t want to put my own stress on your plate, All of this could have been prevented in the first place if I… if I…”

“Cleo,” he interrupted, again, he couldn’t stand to see the love of his life in such constant distress, especially with him being the cause. “It’s not your fault.” Instead of responding right away, Cleo simply looked up at him.

And he looked back.

And suddenly, after being pressed against the neck of his wife in a hug, squeezing as tight as she could- as he did the same back- their problems seemed to go away. At least for this moment when they were together.

.

.

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Phew~ done. Yeah, as I said at the beginning, this is definitely my most self-indulgent piece I've written. But I hope it was still enjoyable to everyone who read who ISN'T me lol