#please let me know if you'd rather not be tagged for these things lol

[gyokujyn]

I got tagged by @hypnxrchy (a music tag game??? be still, my heart!)

The rules are shuffle your ‘on repeat’ playlist and list the first 10 songs that play, then tag 10 people. (I don't have an 'on repeat' playlist so I'm hitting random and posting the first 1-2 songs from each playlist I've listened to in the past week. It is blatantly obvious to me where the playlists switch over, lol, and that amuses me.)

I am looking at this list and I have just realized that this doesn't seem to show explicit content while editing on mobile, so blanket warning that several of these songs have either explicit language or content. Hope it shows once posted!

No pressure tags:

@rosduncan @gunshou @annotated-catastrophe @blackwood4stucky @vivelarevolution13 @the-kestrels-feather @lovemesomerafael @katie-delaney @ellethespaceunicorn @olla-kalla

[ddollfface]

is it possible for you to expand on the alphabet ‘H’ for yandere!athlete? I’m just curious to see the full extent of his punishment when he ‘snaps’. You don’t have to. This is my first ask so I’m just curious

— 🐏 anon

𝐀 𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐔𝐧𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝

𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗦𝗶𝗰𝗸!𝗔𝘁𝗵𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗲 𝘅 𝗳𝗲𝗺!𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿

"I'm not feeling myself today, so it's alright if I feel you instead?"

Trigger Warnings; bad writing, lovesick behavior, manipulation, toxic relationship, love bombing, reader is called 'girlfriend', fake emotional cheating (it'll make more sense later), um I think that's it, pretty tame ngl, honestly it's shorter than my usual posts sorry(( If I missed anything, then please let me know ♡ You are now 🐏!Nonny! Congratulations, you now have your own tag! I hope this is up to your standards... I kind of went on a tiny, just a tiny tangent, but what's new lol

Okay, ngl, I've been waiting for someone to ask about this, so thank you 🐏!Nonny for asking)))

Now, to the question. I would like to preface that it would be very, very, very difficult to make LoveSick!Athlete 'snap', seeing as he's a very patient person, especially with those he's close to. Growing up, he had to be patient and easygoing. He was the oldest of his siblings, so he had to be responsible; had to step up as a father figure for his younger siblings, as he never had a real dad.

He's very soft with you, always speaking kindly, and never letting his anger or annoyance get a hold of him. He wants to be the best for you, truly, but there are just some things that make people... y'know snap. Even for people like LoveSick!Athlete, who has the patience of a saint.

So, now that we know this, we have to think of a scenario of when and why you'd ever push LoveSick!Athlete over the edge; what would've you said to make him that angry?

It'd probably be something along the lines of questioning either his loyalty to you, or the caliber of his love for you, and how much he provides for you. You'd have to take away his purpose and smush it; dragging it through the mud, and spit on it. Now, that would get him going. There's one thing that LoveSick!Athlete hates, and that's someone who's ungrateful.

He's done so, so, so much for you, can't you see?

It would've started from an argument, likely you bringing up how he seems too receptive to other girls on campus, too willing with their antics. And that just didn't sit right with you. You didn't like your boyfriend, in this scenario, hanging around with girls, who you thought to be very, very, very pretty.

Of course, LoveSick!Athlete thought this to be insane, something he hadn't even thought about. Ever since the two of you started dating, he hasn't even looked at a girl, let alone thought about sleeping with one. How could you even say that?

In this scenario, I can see LoveSick!Athlete being petty and becoming flirtatious with other girls just to show you that his behavior before was nothing. If you thought that was flirtatious, then wait until you see him now. Instead of pushing the girls to the side, excusing himself before they could corner him, now he's looking the girls up and down, giving them a little smirk, leading them on. He might even set a hand on their lower back, leading them through the party, maybe even kiss her on the cheek, if you've been rather ungrateful.

Now, LoveSick!Athlete isn't enjoying this, after all, you're his one and only, but you have to learn your lesson. You have to understand that he's been so kind to you, so appreciative of your relationship. Don't you understand? He doesn't like doing this; it's a punishment.

You, seeing all of this, would obviously be distraught. You'd feel so, so, so betrayed. Where had your sweet, loving boyfriend gone? Why was he replaced by some sleazy womanizer? You'd be both sad and pissed the fuck off. You wanted him to tone it down, not multiply it by one hundred!

No matter what, even if you're angry as hell, you'll end up in LoveSick!Athlete's arms, hugging him tightly. He'll find a way to sweet talk you back to him, telling you that you're his only one, that he's just showing you that it wasn't that bad. He'll explain his public image to you; he's gotta stay on top of it, surely you understand, babe? I have no interest in those girls. They're just thinking with what's between their legs. You have to trust me.

Now, that's if you question his loyalty to you, but if you question how much he loves you (which is kinda of related to loyalty, but just ignore that), then you'll face a different type of manipulation. Mans got a whole tool belt on him (I've been waiting to say that lol).

Questioning how much he values you, your affections, your words, and your presence, will lead to love bombing. And for those who don't know what love bombing is, it's a manipulation tactic where the manipulator will use excessive affection to make their victim depend on them for love, believing that they'll only be valued by the manipulator.

LoveSick!Athlete is very familiar with this form of love since he grew up with a mama who has bipolar disorder-

(To be clear, I don't mean to say that everyone with bipolar disorder is a mass manipulator or anything. In certain people, especially mamas who are juggling an abusive marriage, two children, and postpartum all at once, it can be a lot and lead to bad behaviors. Just wanted to say that as someone who deals with a mama with bipolar disorder)

-Now, as a young adult, he's grown the habit of absentmindedly using manipulation tactics to get what he wants. It'll all start with a small argument, you'll question his lover for you, if he even cares for you. After all, he seems to be more attentive over his image than you, his girlfriend!

And all LoveSick!Athlete will do is smile at you, saying that he understands your concerns and that he'll do better. Obviously, this will confuse the hell out of you. Who responds to an argument like that? Certainly, no man you've ever dated!

Even if he doesn't realize it, he'll begin to show excessive amounts of affection after the argument. He'll constantly be giving you hugs, clinging onto you like a leach, and spamming you with messages/calls. You'll grow accustomed to the overbearing affections, allowing it to become a part of your daily life, but the moment you're used to it, he'll rip it away.

Suddenly, it's as if you don't even exist, like you're just another girl to him. Of course, he'll acknowledge you as his girlfriend, but he's no longer touching you. He's not hugging you, having an arm wrapped around you waist, nor is he holding your hand in public. It's as if he's embarrassed about your relationship. You'll begin to think that LoveSick!Athlete is cheating on you (he's not).

And this sudden behavior change is so delayed that you won't even relate it to your argument, thinking that it was a whole separate issue. And LoveSick!Athlete won't realize it either; it's just subconcious decision he made without knowing.

At some point, you'll come crawling back to him, desperately wanting the affection you used to be overwhelmed by. Of course, LoveSick!Athlete will be overjoyed, welcoming your upfront behavior with open arms. To you, this is like whiplash. Just a few days ago, he was off-putting, giving you the cold shoulder, and now he's leaning on you as if he can't stand himself, what the hell is going on?

And that's when you realize that you're not dating the most... stable individual...

Not to mention what he let his teammates do to you... but that's for another ask, yeah?

[loveroftoomanyfandoms]

Sweet on You, Chapter 3

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Story Summary: HERE

Warnings/Tags: Sugar Daddy!Matt Murdock, Idiots to Lovers, No Age Gap, Alternating PoV, No Use of Y/N

Word Count: ~1850

A/N: I had entirely too much fun writing the terms of Matt and Reader's contract, lol.

As always, if you'd like to be tagged in this or any of my other stories, please let me know!

Divider by @theradioactivespidergwen

Tag List (struck-through blogs could not be tagged): @danzer8705 @capylore @shouldbestudying41 @atemydadforbreakfast @peachy-flxwr @sleepysleepymom @fishinsuits @milkbummm @lazyxsquirrel @beezusvreeland @caughtthefever @bohemianrhapsody86

Thank God it's almost time to go, you thought to yourself as you began to get ready to leave work on Monday afternoon. Wish they'd hurry up and replace Roxy and Tabitha soon.

You had been one of three admin assistants until two months ago when Roxy, the junior admin who had told you about Sugar and Spice, had moved across the country for a job that would actually utilize her college degree, and Tabitha, a glorified intern with no administrative skills who you suspected had only been hired because one or more of the partners had thought she was hot, had gotten fired for showing up to work still wasted after a night of partying. Now you were on your own and doing the work of three people with no relief in sight.

From the moment you arrived at the office at 8 AM that morning until right then when it was time to leave you had been going non-stop. You had fielded phone calls, made appointments, arranged travel, greeted clients, fetched water and coffee, filed for permits, picked up lunch for all three partners from three different restaurants, ordered flowers for your actual boss's girlfriend's birthday, made copies, and printed and mailed invoices -- all with a smile on your face and without a word of thanks from anyone. 

Needless to say, you were looking forward to a drink and a nice, pleasant dinner that you didn't have to prepare yourself and could actually sit down and eat rather than have to quickly inhale like you had had to do with the sandwich you had procured from the deli down the street for lunch.

At 5 PM on the dot you shut down your computer and unlocked your desk drawer to grab your purse.

You went to the bathroom to freshen up before poking your head into your boss's office. “Hi, Mr. DiStefano, I just wanted to let you know that I'm leaving for the day.”

“Okay,” Mr. DiStefano replied without looking up from the floor plans he was studying.

You waited for a moment to see if he was going to say ‘thank you, have a great evening ’ -- or anything else for that matter -- but he didn't. “Okay then, see you tomorrow.”

You stopped by the other two partners’ offices to let them know that you were leaving, receiving very much the same non-response from both.

You sighed as you left your office and headed towards Nelson, Murdock, and Page. You were feeling extremely unappreciated and underpaid, especially since you were now having to fill the admin assistant role for all 3 partners at once. Maybe it's time to start looking for another job…

You shook your head. You weren't going to even think about trying to find another job until after you got your mother's medical debt paid off. One thing at a time.

“--Yo, Matty, we hitting up Josie's tonight?”

Matt looked up and shook his head as Foggy stopped by his office. “Actually, I can't. I have plans after work.”

Foggy gasped. “Do you have a date ?”

He poked his head out of Matt's office. “ HEY KAREN, MATT HAS A DATE TONIGHT! ” he yelled down the hall.

Matt sighed. Here we go. He was glad that you and he had already come up with a cover story on how you had met so he wouldn't have to think of one on the spot.

“So, what's her name and how'd you meet her?” Foggy asked.

Matt said your name. “We met at The Brew Towers on Saturday.”

“Ooh, coffee shop meet-cute,” Karen gently teased as she joined him and Foggy in his office. “How romantic.”

“Yeah, tell us more,” Foggy added. “Did you spill your coffee on her? Accidentally grab each other's order? Brush hands across the condiment station?”

Matt chuckled. “Actually, we struck up a conversation while we both were waiting in line to order and since it was busy and tables were scarce we decided to sit together. We hit it off, so I asked her to have dinner with me tonight.”

“So where are you taking her?” 

“Okinawa.”

Foggy huffed out a laugh. “Ooh, fancy.” 

Matt shrugged. “It was close to the office.”

“What time are you meeting her there?” Karen asked.

Matt shook his head. “Actually, she's meeting me here in about 10 minutes and we're going to walk over together.” 

“Well, I'm really happy for you and I hope everything works out with her.”

“Yeah, same,” Foggy added. “It's good to see you putting yourself out there again, buddy.”

Matt inwardly cringed. After everything he, Foggy, and Karen had been through he hated lying to them, especially when they seemed so genuinely happy for him. “Thanks.”

“Guess it's just us at Josie's then, Kare. Let's go before she gets here -- I’m sure Matt doesn't want to scare her away by introducing her to us too soon.” Foggy rapped his knuckles on Matt's desk. “I expect a full report on your date tomorrow morning, Matthew.”

Matt chuckled with a nod. “Will do. ‘Night, guys.”

He waited until Foggy and Karen had left before pulling up his and your contract and printing copies in both standard and Braille print.

A few minutes later he heard your footsteps approaching the office, so he walked out into the lobby to greet you. 

“Hi, Matt,” you said as you entered.

“Hi,” Matt replied. “How are you?”

“I'm good, and you?”

“I'm good too, thanks.” Matt gestured towards his office. “Let's go to my office.”

He led you down the hall to his private office. “Have a seat. Would you like something to drink? We have water, soda, tea, juice…”

“No, I'm okay,” you said as you sat. “Thank you though.”

Matt sat across from you. “Alright…”

He picked up the print copy of your contract and handed it to you. “Here’s the contract. I'll read through it, just let me know if you have any questions.”

“Okay.”

Matt cleared his throat and began to read. “Memorandum of Agreement. This memorandum of Agreement is made by and between Matthew M. Murdock and…”

He could hear your quiet, steady breathing as you followed along. He had tried to make the contract as simple and straightforward as possible in order to protect both himself and you.

“...Shall provide the following obligations,”  he continued. “Accompany Matthew to lunch and/or dinner at minimum twice weekly. Accompany Matthew to business-related events as requested with minimum 72 hours prior notice. Accompany Matthew to non-business events as requested, dependent on availability.”

“Wait, what does that last part mean?” you asked.

“Just that every once in a while I might ask you to do something with me that doesn't involve a sit-down meal,” Matt replied. “But also that I'm not going to make you drop everything just to have a cup of coffee or take a walk with me.”

“Oh, okay, that's fair.” You paused. “Sorry, go ahead.”

Matt nodded. “In exchange, Matthew shall provide the following obligations: Monthly stipend of $1,500 --”

“Wait, wait,” you interrupted again. “We only agreed on a thousand a month.”

Matt shrugged. “Yeah, but I thought about it and decided that fifteen hundred was a more fair amount for your time.” Especially since you're using it to help your mother.

You sucked in a soft breath. “Oh.”

Matt could tell you were torn between arguing with him and just accepting the higher amount and waited until you decided which path to take. 

Finally, you sighed. “Okay.”

“Okay. ‘Payment for all outings and events, including but not limited to meals, beverages, gratuities, tickets, souvenirs, and gifts. In the event of a professional obligation, arrangement and payment for appropriate garments for said obligation. Accompaniment to requested events with minimum 72 hours prior notice, dependent on availability.” Matt paused. “I figure it's only fair in case you have a work event or something else you'd need a plus-one for.”

You huffed out a mirthless laugh. “Even though I have to plan and set them up I never get invited to actually attend any of DiStefano, Williams, and Abbott’s events, but that's good in case I ever do.”

Matt's brow furrowed at your slightly bitter tone. He'd have to find out more about your job. “Anyway, ‘Confidentiality: Each party shall treat as strictly confidential the nature of said Agreement as a result of entering into or performing duties outlined in this Agreement’. ”

“Snitches get stitches,” you quipped. “Or in this case, sued.”

Matt chuckled. “Relation of the Parties: The relationship between both parties is that of a platonic nature and of partners in a business transaction. No other nature of relationship is obligatory herewith.”

He continued on with the rest of the contract -- termination of the agreement (that either he or you could terminate the contract for any reason at any time with 30 days prior notice), remedies on default (that if one or both of you failed to perform your duties or otherwise broke a clause in the contract, the contract as a whole would be rendered null and void) and finally, amendments (that the contract could be amended at any time with the express written agreement of both you and Matt.)

“Governance: This contract shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the State of New York,” Matt concluded. “Signed by both parties stated here within and effective as of date first written above.”

He tilted his head back up towards you. “Everything sound fair to you?”

You were silent for a moment. “Yeah. Yeah, I think it's fair.”

“Okay then.” Matt handed you a pen and the second printed copy of the contract. “Just so we both have signed print copies.”

“Okay, yeah, no problem.” You signed your name on both copies of the contract. “Am I signing the Braille one too then?”

Matt nodded and handed you the Braille copy, quickly feeling the text below where your signature would go. “Sign right above here.”

“Okay.” You quickly signed your name. “All done.”

Matt signed his name on all three copies of the contract and set both his Braille and print copies into his desk drawer before locking it, then he folded your copy and put it into an envelope. “Here you go. Now that business is settled, how about we celebrate our new arrangement with some dinner?”

He heard you tuck your copy of the contract into your purse. “That sounds wonderful,” you replied.

Matt stood. “Shall we, then?”

He retrieved his coat from the coat rack and took his cane out of the inside pocket, then you both headed back towards the lobby.

Matt turned the lights off and opened the door for you. “After you.”

You stepped outside. “Thank you.”

Matt followed you outside then locked the door behind the two of you. “This way.”

You headed down the sidewalk to what Matt hoped was the first of many get-togethers, a comfortable silence between you.

[candiid-caniine]

Hey! Long time no see, i know i said id send you a fantasy i thought you'd like but now ive forgotten almost all of it, oop!

Life happened, and uh, i saw that you mentioned your libido being a bit low, which definitely is my case too (im recovering from depression, now that im okay id love to get my FULL libido back, or at least a good percentage of it) do you have any tips on that?

Also any recs of blogs writing in the same vibe as you? (same-ish kinks would be nice but im specifically looking for queer inclusive stuff!) it makes me 10x hornier than the regular video/photo porn!

Hope you're well, you pathetic little thing!

💫

hi friend!! ugh i feel you. sorry i haven't got any advice on regaining ur libido...we just let mine wax and wane as it will, though denial has been a big help in keeping it steady!

i've heard good things abt ginseng and some other herbs. obvs use at your own risk, mind that some herbal treatments can cross-interact with certain medications, remember that pre-packaged supplement pills are often unregulated and may contain toxins, and be aware that some herbal remedies work better on pw certain anatomy than others, and finally that many herbal remedies considered to increase libido are largely untested on trans folx!

finally, sorry it's taken so long to answer this ask...i'm autistic and have been cataloguing lol. i present to you a list of other blog recs under the cut, organized by general vibe! i've tried to primarily include blogs that do their own posts rather than those who primarily reblog :)

note that my headings may provide some context as to what to expect, but you read at your own risk and each blog will typically have its own trigger warnings addressed in the header/pinned. additionally, i've not tagged some of the ppl below because they prefer that "Men DNI" blogs not interact, and idk if "no cis men" qualifies ahah!

all blogs below are queer- and/or trans-inclusive, if not exclusive! there is no detrans/misgendering, at least I don't think - i don't tend to follow those blogs.

hard kinks (blood, knives, etc; includes primarily-cnc blogs):

@puppy-mommy , who also does general t4t kink content, but does state untagged hard kinks!

@visciousest is someone whose blog i scroll when i'm in a Certain Mood ahah,, i won't elaborate

@hell-hound-bites: just. fuck. would drool on his knife blade.

@snuff-fag: its username should give you fair warning as to how wild its content tends to get, so please browse responsibly.

@condor-bait is taking a break right now, and all my love is with him as he takes care of himself. he made me feel so valid and so fuckable as a young trans person learning to love myself in a new way, and i've always been too shy to tell him how much his content meant to me one-on-one (yes, despite its often-extreme themes!), and he deserves as much time as he needs to heal!

@unwillingfvckpuppy for mostly cnc and medical kinks! if you like his style, but not so much their harder content, he also has a more-tame main blog--i just mainly follow/scroll this one!

@vampvictim: top-tier cnc/intox stuff, plus some great knife/bloodplay :)

@cryptidtid is wonderful and holy shit i follow a lot of hard kink blogs lol. incredible

@cnc-pet: i have been following her for a long ass fucking time lol. they post a lot of really good cnc and stories, but you'll also find a lot of aftercare tips and advice on her blog! i really admire blogs who try to balance horny content with best practices

@dollobotomy

general kinky content:

@excessively-queer . just plain old good shit :) there's a good amt of edging and degradation.

@clouded-king was honestly one of my earlier introductions to the queer/t4t kink community on here and how fucking euphoric it can be :) he posts some hard kinks, but generally it's a balance of a lot of different kinks so read his pinned at your leisure!

@ / cottontailx : just good kinky nsft posts :)

@ / digitalpenetration: often specifically t4t which i love!!

@femmelovefemme can step on me :)

@bigothteddies: could not build this section w/o mentioning him :) they had a big influence on my fantasies for a long time!

@hazelj-xoxo: bigtime want her to cuck me. have followed her across multiple blog deletions lol

@transpidered is forever an icon!

@subspaceemo

@writefinch for great stories and text posts

edging and denial, specifically:

@6irlpet is 1 of my go-to hands-down-pants scroll sessions :)

@droolkink is my inspiration!

@flustersluts does exactly what the name implies lol. a good helping of other kink content too :)

@puppycvnt is a 10/10!

@barkwoofbarkwoofbark: we r denial friends imo!!

@strawbrrysub

@blyssful-abyss

@urhighnessbitch is a big fav <3

non-detrans genderplay:

@butchviolence does amazing butch supremacy stuff and i,,, fucking hell. even just seeing their username puts me in a Particular state of mind ahah. they also post hard kinks so be aware as you proceed!

@mtfdomme: i literally just reblogged from her today lol. tbh i want to be their little stupid pupthing. it's not all transfem supremacy undertones/overtones, but that's what i mainly follow her for, plus just general t4t goodness! also, their general personality? and the way she shuts down people who disrespect their boundaries? huge inspiration for me!

@cuntboydestroyer: take me to the animal shelter and neuter me. good lord.

@the-kind-of-dame is the main inspiration for my recent genderplay post lol

@terfbreaking-tgirl (be warned of dykebreaking if that's an issue for you)

@barbarian-lesbian is my other inspiration for the recent genderplay post

@superiorineveryway

weird asf (/complimentary; my favorite type of shit. robots, ND-focused posts, etc):

@specksizedgoddess has introduced me to things i didn't know, like...existed, and that's saying a lot as one of my special interests is kink! never knew how down bad i was to be a tiny buggirl, nor how much i wanted to be someone's stupid little robot... BIG tw tho: there is snuff and gore content here, so proceed with caution if you don't wanna see that!

@sapphling fucked me up real good with some bird!sub bondage posts awhile back lol

@nobelisha: found them through their ghost cnc post so that's why they're in this category ahah! they don't have a pinned so proceed w awareness :)

@devout-cleric: hierophilia/religion kink, and i'm something of an acolyte of hers :) if you've read this far down you may as well know i'm her Little Lamb anon lol

piss/omo:

@latenightomo

@pissheartmybeloved - their URL makes me crack up every time, plus good content!

@hold-it-a-little-longer - good scenarios/imagines!

@ohmyrashi - (i think) my original intro to omo!

monsterfucking/terato:

@septimus-moonlight was my first real introduction to trans-positive terato and i've never settled for half-fun cis-oriented terato ever since :) mind tags!

@eggedbellies as well!

@bredpun doesn't appear to be active lately but still good for a scroll!

@steamandcream

@of-mutts-and-men

[bamsywrites]

Guilt (Tyrion Lannister x Reader)

paring: Tyrion x Reader; Tywin x Reader

summary: Tyrion is consumed with guilt as he sees just how his actions have affected you

word count: idk but sure as fuck not 13.k Idk where I got that number from 🤦

tags: pregnant! reader, mentions of miscarriage/infant loss, pretty fucking huge age gaps mentioned. tywin doing tywin things. angsty with some hurt/comfort. there's a lot of plot building as i want to attempt to make this into a series. pining. future friends to lovers.

AN: this is my first time writing in a loooong fucking time. I am open to constructive criticism and feedback. I have plans on making this into a series so let me know if that would interest you. this scenario has been in my maladaptive daydreams for so long lol. Please let me know how you like it!

--

Tyrion watched you from his spot overlooking the river where the women were doing the washing for the day. An older woman was showing you the best methods for getting stains out from the fabrics of sheets and clothes, you watched with a furrowed brow and genuine curiosity from your seat on a large boulder. Tyrion had noticed this was a new behavior trend of yours. You'd go to the kitchens, the stables, the rivers, all to try and lend a hand or learn. Your noble birth made it so you never had to wash your clothes or clean your rooms or make your food. He'd observed that since arriving in Mereen, you almost seemed to be trying to repent of the sin of being born a noblewoman by doing the chores and duties of those most would consider beneath someone of your birth. Not that you ever thought that way.

Tyrion's eyes drifted down to your swollen belly which you were stroking softly as you watched the woman and he scoffed with a quick swig from a flask of whatever wine he was able to get his hands on. You were nearing the end of your pregnancy, evident by your size and the waddle to which you walked. Dany had been accommodating to your state by having someone around to assist you if need be and keeping a midwife on standby for the impending birth. The queen had been more forgiving than he could have hoped for when it came to the two of you. You had given a rather convincing speech when you had arrived after fleeing Kings Landing. He could still hear the words ring in his mind.

"Your Majesty, I was but a child when your father was overthrown and family murdered. I was a child still when I was betrothed. No choice in my life has ever been my own. I was sold like cattle to the highest bidder and forced to have his children so he could in turn ship them away and form alliances with lords and kings. Everything I have done has been to protect me and my children. All I ever will do is to protect my children. I want them to live a life better than mine and from what I have seen here you would be able to provide that more than any man in Westores currently fighting for the throne. For that, you will have my loyalty."

It was well-spoken and you stood tall while you said it, but he could see the fear in your eyes. How could he blame you? A pregnant woman far from home in the territory of someone who wanted her dead simply because of who she was forced to marry. Staying in the Red Keep wouldn't have bode well for you either, his sister had never been fond of you and with the death of his father, the castle suddenly became very dangerous for you.

Tyrion understood why Tywin wanted to make an alliance with your house. Your father was lord of a southern house that was known for its impressive feats on the field of battle, no one had ever defeated House ____ on the battlefield and most were met with devastating defeats when they were on horseback. The best tacticians Westores had ever seen either came from your house or were mentored by the lords of your house. Tywin wanted that alliance and he was always looking to further his family line but Jamie had made vows and Tywin would rather die than give Tyrion any claim to Casterly Rock. That left him to marry you, which he did. You were young. Very young. He remembered how scared you looked on your wedding day as his father covered you in a robe of Lannister Red.

You'd done your duty as a wife very well. 6 years since your wedding to his father and you'd had several pregnancies and two living children - daughters much to Tywins dismay. You bore him a son named Tytos but he fell asleep one night never to wake again. Tyrion remembered that day very well, he walked into the hall to see his father holding you as you sobbed, pressing a kiss to your head and looking as vulnerable as Tyrion had ever seen him. Tywin always seemed to respect you and held some possessiveness over the fact that you were his lady wife. You were spoiled by him as was expected, always in the finest dresses and jewelry. Tywin made an example of anyone who dared to disrespect you, even if that person was the boy king himself. He seemed to value your intellect and wit, finding bragging rights in your brains and beauty. A fact that drove Ceresi mad. Though Tyrion supposed, the way Tywin treats your daughters was an even bigger slight to the Queen Regent.

Trysta and Nataria.

Tywin doted on them more than he did you. It was made known behind closed doors that Tywin would keep putting babes in your belly until you gave him an "heir and a spare" but there was a light to his eyes when his youngest daughters were around that made it known he cared for them too. There was an affection there that Tyrion did not remember his father showing Ceresi or Jamie as children. A fact confirmed by the jealousy his sister had for the two young girls, Jamie had never made a comment on it but he enjoyed the company of your daughters very much.

They were very sweet girls, with your eyes but the signature Lannister hair. Trysta was the eldest at five years old, she was smart and sassy, a combination that always brought a smile to Tyrion's face. There was nothing like watching a noble lord be put in their place by a small girl in a pink dress, knowing that they dare not comment back for fear of facing her father's wrath. Nataria was younger, still not quite speaking in full sentences yet, and always wanting to be picked up by anyone who would take her. Tyrion would never forget walking into the tower of the hand to see her sat on Tywins lap with her head nuzzled into his chest as she napped. Tywin informed Tyrion that the babe you were carrying was making you ill and the handmaids were unable to get her to stop crying. He didn't look up from the papers scattered across his desk and his voice was as stern and emotionless as it always was. It was almost alien to see it, to see how much Tywin was capable of some form of care for his children. Tywin often made the comment that his first three children were disappointments and that he was going to make sure his next turned out differently.

You had made the smart choice to send the two girls to stay with your family after Jofferys murder. Kings Landing was not safe for them and both girls adored Tyrion. You had not wanted them to witness his trial or execution or to be brought into the middle of dangerous court politics. You probably would have joined them if Tywin had allowed it. Tyrion was sad he never got to say goodbye to them. He loved them as much as they loved him, always reading books or buying trinkets for them. He missed them dearly but knew you missed them more.

Especially today. It was Nataria's second name day.

Tyrion was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of your laugh as you watched the children play in the water and their splashes of water soaking your dress and hair. He noticed that your laugh didn't quite reach your eyes and the guilt panged through him.

It's your fault. It's your fault. It's your fault.

You were distracting yourself, he realized, from the pain of what today meant. The pain of not being with your children. The pain of not knowing when you will see them again. He couldn't imagine the pain in your heart. Almost like you knew what he was thinking, your eyes locked with his and he gave you a curt nod before standing and heading away from the river.

---

Later that night he saw you again, sat in the gardens of a courtyard lit by the stars, and a few torches spread over the area. There was a piece of parchment paper in your lap and your fingers were playing with a necklace around your neck. Tyrion noticed your beauty in the light of the stars. The way the flames from the torches flicked across your features. He always knew you were beautiful but it was dawning on him that you were more than beautiful. He sometimes found the air leaving his lungs if the light hit you right. The sound of your laugh, your voice, when he heard you sing it was like the whole world stood still. It wasn't fair, he thought, that someone as kind and smart and witty as you could also be so beautiful.

The sound of a muffled sob brought him out of his thoughts and he felt that searing guilt tear threw him once more.

It's your fault. It's your fault. It's your fault.

His feet moved him through the courtyard and he sat next to you in silence. You quickly wiped at your eyes and shoved the paper, what Tyrion could now see was an old letter from your father about how your daughters were doing, into your dress. The two sat in silence for a few moments, neither knowing what to say. You'd always treated Tyrion with such respect and kindness and he'd returned the favor to you. You never let Tywin taint your view of him.

"You've been avoiding me," your voice cut through the silence.

It was true. He hadn't spoken more than a few sentences since defending you to the Queen when you were brought to her throne room. "And yet you have been watching my every move."

He nodded, eyes fixated on a particular patch of grass in the courtyard. "Always observant aren't you?" His voice was soft.

"You'd think someone of your size would be better at hiding but alas....."

Your comment made him laugh. The first laugh in a long time.

"Spying is not my strong suit, I must admit. Drinking, books, and whores are my real talents." His eyes traveled over to you and he noticed your small smile.

Your smile shouldn't cause him to feel the way he was.

The two of you sat in silence for a long while after that. It wasn't an awkward silence, neither of you seemed to know how to get the thoughts flowing through your head to form into words. There was so much to say, so much to explain. You broke first.

"I miss them," Your voice wavered and your lip trembled. "I miss them so. It feels as though my heart has been ripped out of my chest." The tears started to fall all at once, Tyrion swore he could hear them hit the ground like rain.

It's your fault. It's your fault. It's your fault

"Every time the babe inside me moves, I remember how it felt to feel them move too. I think of them from the moment I wake to the moment I sleep and then I dream of them. Are they happy? Are they safe? Where are they? When will I see them?" You rambled through the thickness of your tears, your fingers gripping tightly at the fabric of your dress.

Tyrion hesitantly grabbed your hand in his, afraid you'd hurt yourself and gave it a small squeeze.

"Your sister...Oh, your sister...she hates them. She hates me. She'll have them killed. I can't...I can't.." you choked on sob after sob

He said your name softly and moved to stand in front of you so he could look into your eyes. The tears falling down your cheeks and hitting the skirt of your dress broke his heart.

It's your fault. It's your fault. It's your fault

"Ceresi is many things. A hateful bitch is among one of her most prominent attributes. But, she is not stupid enough to wage war on your family. Her hatred for me consumes her. Last I heard they think I kidnapped you." He almost laughed bitterly at the thought. Remembering how he rushed you out of The Red Keep, it wasn't too far from the truth. "And despite even with all of that aside. Do you think Jamie would let her? Let her kill your children? Our sisters?" In truth, he had no idea what would happen but he had to hope. He had to have faith that his choice wouldn't lead to the fatalities of you and your daughters.

Your arms quickly wrapped around him and your face nuzzled into his neck. For a moment he just stood there in shock, this was the closest you'd ever been to him and he found himself enamored with how you smelt and soft you felt. But soon he ran his fingers through your hair in an attempt to soothe you. Tyrion could feel your hot tears on his shoulder and the mantra repeated in his head.

It's your fault. It's your fault. It's your fault.

"I'm so fucking sorry," He whispered into your hair. "I'm so sorry."

You pulled away and he found himself missing your warmth. He told himself it was because he wasn't used to such interaction, which wasn't a lie, but there was a stirring deep within him that he had to push down and hide. That would only bring him more shame and heartbreak and insult you further than he already has.

"All my life, my father hated me for killing my mother and for being a dwarf. He loathed my very existence. The only thing that kept me alive was my name. I was a Lannister. And then he lets me be led like a lamb to slaughter for a murder he knew I didn't commit. My only option is death or going to The Wall, there's not much difference there as people seem to think. He takes the woman I love and turns her against me, having her lie to all of Kings Landing. And then I find he's fucking her..." Tears were starting to well in his eyes now as he remembered Shae and how it felt to find her in his father's bed. "I didn't think about the consequences. Not for you or the girls until after it was done."

He remembered how the lamp light flickered across your face as you stood there, hand on your belly and mouth agape as he held the crossbow. He remembered how it felt to have the realization slap him in the face. Tywin had become fond of using you to belittle Cerasi, often saying you were more worthy to be a Lannister than she was. Cerasi was jealous of how Tywin seemed to care for and respect you. You wouldn't last long at The Red Keep. Tyrion remembered the scared look in your eyes as he took your wrist in a harsh grasp and led you through the corridors to where he was to meet Varys.

He was pulled from his memories when he could feel your fingertips lightly brush away his tears. "It's my fault," Tyrion's voice broke as he said those words to you, "and I can never express how sorry I am."

You swallowed thickly and looked at him for a moment before your eyes drifted up to the night sky. You were quiet again and this time the silence was thick and heavy. Tyrion could see your brain working hard to formulate thoughts and feelings into words.

"I was 15 when I was betrothed to Tywin," You said softly, your eyes still on the stars. "My father was so excited. The Lannisters would make a great ally and I was the only daughter he had to offer. For two years I waited, knowing that I was to be married to a man who rode into battle with my grandfather. It was the day after my 17th name day that we were wed. Within a year I had Trysta." Your tongue peaked out to wet your lips. "Tywin was not a moral man. He was not a good man. He was a smart man. An ambitious man. But not a good one. I know he respected me, I think he may have cared for me in his own complicated way. I know he cared for our children. But he was old and mean and arrogant."

Tyrion was silent as you spoke, you two had talked in the past for hours about books and history but you never quite opened up about your relationship with his father. Your eyes fell down to your lap and you picked at a loose string.

"I may be cursed for thinking it but I do not miss him. I miss my home. I miss Casterly Rock. I miss the sea and the beach. I miss Trysta and Nataria. But I do not miss Tywin. I am not naive enough to think that I will ever experience what it's like to be loved...to marry for love. That's not a reality for high-born women but I do hope the next time I'm married off it's to someone who is less of an ass."

Tyrion stood there for a moment and then took your face into his hands, "I promise you by whatever Gods are listening that I will get you back home. Back to your children. Or I will die trying." And he meant it.

You simply nodded. He took his seat next to you, his hand resting atop yours. The two of you sat there in a peaceful silence looking at the stars with his hand on yours and you weren't sure how long for. It could have been 15 minutes or two hours. When Tyrion noticed your head starting to bob and your eyes struggled to stay open, he stood up and silently offered you his arm.

The walk to your room was quiet. He had more he wanted to say to you but he knew this was not the time to say it. Once he got to your door he didn't know what to say, he didn't know if he should say anything. He cleared his throat and rested his arm at his side.

"If you, uhm, if you need me...." His voice trailed off.

"I know," you nodded, "thank you." You placed a soft kiss on his forehead before disappearing into your room.

Tyrion stood there for a moment, frustration rushing over him like waves. It was happening. He could feel the feeling creep into his heart: he was falling in love with the woman he widowed and he wasn't sure how to stop it.

[ensnapemysenses]

Bittersweet Beginnings

This is the highly requested part 2 to The New Potions Professor! I highly suggest you read part 1 before you read this one as it is a continuation! I apologize that it took so long, but it's finally done!

Minors DNI 18+ Only

Synopsis: With your impending graduation date soon approaching Severus Snape breaks your heart once again. Years later you see him again in the least place you'd expect, a meeting of The Order of the Phoenix. You enact a plan to get revenge, but it soon goes south and you fall head over heels for the heavily guarded man once again.

Notes: Reader is 18 years old and a 7th year student at the start of the fic and Snape is her Professor (he's 21 at the start of the fic), Preestablished relationship (See part 1), reader has a vagina, use of she/her pronouns and references to the reader with feminine terms such as lady etc.

Warnings: NSFW, questionable morals, age gap (two and half years), student x professor, pet names, master kink, unprotected sex, fingering, semi-public sex, arguments/yelling, overprotective Sev, if I missed anything let me know!

Genre: Smut, a bit of angst, happy ending though!

Word count: 4,948

Tagging: @smilingformoney because she requested this the most lol I really hope I did it justice!

Each of your detentions with Severus had been better than the last and still, you continued to act like a brat in his classes and he happily continued to dish out the devilish punishments. The only problem that faced you both was your ultimate graduation in a few weeks' time. You’d had several job offers, but none of them felt right, not yet. You were holding out hope for anything that would allow you to continue having your secret meetups with Severus. Hope has been running rather thin lately and both of your nerves were rather shot. You’d been fighting more than normal and you were beginning to question if Severus was worth all of this. Sure, the sneaking around was fun, but what would it become when it was no longer something deemed worthy of concealment and questionable morals? You had been of age the entire time, but still, seeing a professor behind the backs of everyone was nothing short of a rush of adrenaline. Would that feeling go away after your graduate? Would Severus break your heart again, or would you break his this time?

“You need to learn to behave, little slut. What are you going to do when you graduate and your master’s not here to punish you?” Severus tuts, ramming into your hole with delicious force threatening to split you in two as you snap back to reality.

Your eyes roll back in your head and the only thing that tumbles out of your mouth is incoherent nonsense. The ball of pressure swells in your stomach, you’re right there on the edge again and you need release so badly, but Severus refuses to give it to you. Groaning your hips snap up searching for anything to get you off quickly before he can deny you your high for the third time tonight.

“Words or I’ll make you use them,” he demands. 

“I — don’t — know!” You screech through his thrusts. “I need you, Sev! Please let me come!”

“I think you’ve performed well enough, pet. Come for me, darling,” Severus demands.

Back arching off the desk, your hips meet in one last thrust as your high pulses through you like lightning. Fireworks explode through you and your breathing stills as you work your way through the pleasure, finally gasping for a breath of air as you come down, your face contorts as one last ripple pulses through you as you feel Severus come with a guttural grunt. Several moans reverberate through the room as he paints your walls with his come.

Severus chuckles and slows his assault on your hole, a whimper escaping your lips at the overstimulation as he withdraws and lays beside you on his desk casting a cleaning spell and redressing you both. As he gazes up at the ceiling of the cold, dimly lit potions classroom, he conjures an image of the night sky outside. Throughout his life, the stars have always provided him with comfort and strength. The strength that he so desperately needs right now to do what he knows is the only way forward. The only way that things will work out for you in the end.  “You need me, huh? Well, I don’t need you,” he says finally, cringing at how harsh it sounds.

“What?” you question, tears brimming your eyes. “You don’t need me?”

“No. I have to have you,” Severus says, wiping your tears away. “I simply cannot live without you but I think I’m going to have to learn how to again.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to hold you here, I want you to find your own path. I want you to follow your dreams and your passions. You can’t do that if you are attached to me. I’m bad news. Bad things are coming. It’s faint, but my mark is returning.”

“The fuck?” you whisper, your eyes falling on his left forearm. Sure enough, you can make out the remnants of a black smudge on his arm. It doesn’t wipe away when you touch it.

“He’s not dead,” Severus whispers. “He can’t be or this would be gone completely. He’s still out there and you can’t be associated with me. He will return.”

“I don’t care –”

“I know, but let’s just enjoy the time we have left together, okay?” Severus says softly. “Please, promise me after you graduate, you won’t come looking for me and you won’t get hung up on me.”

Swallowing down everything screaming at you to stay by his side, to protect him, to hold him close and say he’s being ridiculous, but you don’t. “Let’s enjoy the time we have left,” you agree, a feeling of dread growing in your gut.

~~~

“Remus, Sirius,” you say in greeting, grasping each of their hands in a firm shake. “It’s nice to see you two again.” You hadn’t seen either of them since your school days and even then it was only in passing, you knew of each other, but never really knew each other.

“You as well,” Remus smiles, leaning down to kiss your hand gently bringing a blush to your cheeks. He had always been quite the gentleman and fairly handsome. You’d had a crush on him once upon a time during your first few years at Hogwarts, before – no you refused to think of that bitch. Fuck him.

“Kreature!” Sirius calls. “Take these bags up to the guest room. So, your first Order meeting?” Sirius asks presumably. 

“Yes, I just recently joined though I’ve always been very adamant about my views. Dumbledore persuaded me, said my new position at the Ministry could prove to make me very useful.”

“He’s quite good at that,” Remus chuckles, placing an arm over your shoulder. “Here, let me give you a tour while Sirius here gets back to cleaning his pigsty of a home with the rest of the ladies in the meeting room.”

“Hey!” Sirius says, jabbing Remus in the side. “Fuck you, mate! When you’re done playing house how about both of you come to help us out.”

Remus and Sirius throw around a few more lighthearted insults and you giggle along. It’s nice to feel welcome and included after spending so many years in isolation focusing on your career. You wish this meeting could be for happier reasons, but with You Know Who having returned, it really puts a damper on things knowing that a war is coming anytime.

“So what have you been up to after graduating from Hogwarts?” Remus asks. “You were three years behind us in school weren’t you?”

“Uh yeah, I was,” you say counting the years back in your head. “I went off to work at the Ministry immediately. I took a temp job at first and worked my way up to my current position in the Department of Mysteries. What about you?”

“Oh,” Remus starts, his gaze lowering to the floor. “I’ve been unemployed most of the time due to my – illness. I taught at Hogwarts for a school term, but my illness got the better of me. Enough about me, though. What exactly do you do at the Ministry?” Remus jokes with a smile.

“Can’t say,” you laugh. “But, of course, you already knew that.”

“Caught red-handed,” he belly laughs, his hands thrown up in the air in defense. “Ah, here we are. This is where you’ll be staying while you’re here,” he says pushing open the large mahogany door. “I’m the door to your right if you ever need me… for anything,” he says sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, I better be off. Gotta go help get everything ready for tonight. See you later?”

“Yeah, see you later,” you smile, deciding to use your spare time before dinner to shower and freshen up. Remus has only gotten cuter with age, perhaps it’s time you allow yourself the chance to move on from him. Given his current allegiance you are positive you’ll never see or hear from him again. Good riddance.

It turns out you were wrong. So very wrong. 

As soon as you walk into the kitchen downstairs, you feel his dark orbs following your every movement, but you refuse to even spare him a glance. Instead, you throw yourself on Remus, laughing, joking, and flirting with him the entire meal. Fuck him. He deserves to rot in hell. You’re going to make him regret ever letting you go.

“Snivellus, you old lap dog,” Sirius jeers, taunting him during the meeting after the children and other non-members cleared out after dinner. “How is your master?” he sneers, spitting in his direction.

“I am loyal to Dumbledore,” Snape says emotionlessly. “I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.”

“Report in Snape,” Remus demands, ignoring the rising tension in the room. “What new information do you have for us?”

“I hate to come here empty handed but unfortunately I don’t have anything new to share.”

“Hiding something are ya, Snivellus?” Sirius demands, his voice snaking around the room.

“No,” Snape responds, his hand twitching, ready to grab his wand and fight to the death if it comes to it.

“Alright you two, stop fighting like ex-lovers,” you scoff, placing your hand over Remus’s and rubbing his thumb gently with yours. “Do continue with your reports.”

“O- of course,” Remus stutters, continuing on with the meeting.

You listen half-heartedly, trying to focus on what Remus is saying, but really, your attention is fixed on Severus. You can see him out of the corner of your eye, squirming in his seat, and you can't help but smirk to yourself. You had been so wrapped up in him, so sure that he was the one, only to be left heartbroken and alone. Now, you thought it was time to show him that you could move on, that you had not one ounce of love left for him.

Seeing him doubled over in the corner in an attempt to make himself small and disappear you have no doubts that he will scurry away the first chance he gets. He’s always been nothing but a coward and you can’t help but feel a bit of satisfaction seeing him like this; nothing wrong with pretending Remus is your boyfriend for a few hours, right? After all, he deserves nothing less than seeing you happy and in love with someone else. So, you scoot closer and closer to Remus until your bodies are as close as possible in your separate chairs. Severus’s dark orbs never leave you, his gaze constantly burning your skin.

As the meeting draws to its close, you begin formulating your escape plan, deciding to rush back to your room as quickly as possible. Remus has other plans though, pulling you to the side and away from the crowd.

“How was your first meeting?”

“It was fine, I suppose. A bit overwhelming. I’m actually pretty tired, I was thinking I would head back to my room for the night.”

“Mind if I join you for a bit? It’s a bit crowded and loud down here. I - I enjoy talking to you,” he says a blush creeping up his ears.

“Sure,” you smile, gripping his arm. “Lead the way.”

Remus begins to lead you through the crowd but abruptly stops when Severus blocks his way. 

“Mind if I have a chat with the lady?” he sneers.

“You two know each other?” Remus questions, his eyes wide as he senses the ever-growing tension. 

“Yes,” Severus says, “and I would love to catch up with her.”

“Of course, I’ll see you later then.”

“Fuck off,” you say, pushing past him and up the stairs to your room, attempting to shut the door behind you but Severus sticks his foot in the doorway.

“It’s been a while,” Severus says. “Please, just let me in. I want to chat somewhere in private.”

“Fine,” you huff, crossing your arms as you let him inside and shut the door behind him. “Five minutes that’s all you get.”

“I’m sorry, I was so wrong to let you go again. I’ve regretted it every single day.” Severus stares at you, waiting for you to speak, when you don’t he tries again. “I’ve followed your every movement since you graduated but I’ve been too cowardly to attempt contact until now.”

“Stalker now, huh? Four minutes.”

Severus starts talking faster, he knows you weren’t kidding now when you said he only had five minutes. “No, no. It’s not like that. I wanted to make sure you were safe. I wanted to apologize. I wanted to make things right. I am truly sorry.”

“Two minutes.”

“You know what! Fuck you!” Severus screeches. “I don’t even know why I thought I’d get anywhere with you. You’ve always been such a stubborn brat. That must be your middle name, huh? Or maybe it’s ‘ruin Severus’s life’ cause that’s all you’ve done since I’ve known you!”

“Oh really! I’ve done nothing but ruin your life! You’re the one who has pushed me away not once but twice! No, fuck you, Severus!”

“I know! And I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! Both times have been to protect you from me! I don’t deserve love, I don’t deserve you. You’re right. You’ve always been right! I’m nothing but a traitor and a coward and now I’m giving my life making up for my mistakes!”

“What do you mean you’re giving your life?” you ask, eyebrows furling.

“I gave my life to Dumbledore,” he whispers. “In exchange to protect you, to keep you out of this shit! But he got to you too! You shouldn’t be here, this war doesn’t concern you. I fucked up, I fucked up so bad when I was a kid. I can never right those wrongs. People died because of me, fuck he’s back partly because of me too! I just wanted to keep you safe –”

You don't know what possessed you, but before you know it, you're kissing him with an intensity you thought you had lost forever. His lips feel soft and inviting against yours, and you get lost in the moment, feeling a warmth and happiness that you thought was lost in the past. You feel a deep connection to him that you never knew existed, and you revel in the sensation of being in his arms. As you deepen the kiss, you feel as though you're coming back to life and out of the darkness you’ve been trapped in for years.

“Fuck, I hate you, Severus Snape,” you pant. “Isn't it strange that we keep returning to this place of love and hate?”

He stands there, his gaze imploring you to hate him. His voice is soft yet desperate. "I'm asking you to really mean it," he continues, "to take out all of your frustrations on me. I deserve it for what I have done." His eyes are wide, his expression a mixture of sadness and guilt. He takes a deep breath, his chest heaving with emotion. "Please," he whispers, "I need you to hate me. It's the only way.”

“I can’t,” you admit.

“Please, try.”

“I’ve tried and I can’t.”

“We can’t be together.”

“Who said that other than you?”

Severus stops, his lips pursued together. “No one,” he says finally after a long silence.

“Exactly. Stop overthinking everything, Severus. What do you want? I want you to listen to your heart,” you plead, poking him hard in the chest. “What does your heart say?”

“My… heart?” Severus asks, clutching his chest. “I can’t hear my heart over the screaming in my head that tells me I need to stay as far away from you as possible to keep you safe.”

“Enough!” you shout. “Just get out if you want nothing to do with me.”

Severus stands, his fingers lingering on the doorknob as he hesitates. He knows he should turn it and leave the room, but something inside him can't make himself do it. He pauses for a moment, weighing his options, before finally giving in and turning the knob. He takes one last look around the room before taking a deep breath and stepping out into the hallway. His heart plummets in his stomach and he turns around. “No, I can’t leave you like this,” he mutters, shutting the door behind him again and standing in front of it, unsure of what to do with his body. “I was right before, I can’t live without you. I have to have you.”

He could feel his heart racing as he stepped closer to you, the voice in his head telling him to stop and turn away pushed further and further away until it was barely a whisper. He was drawn to you, captivated by your beauty and grace, and he could no longer resist the temptation. He reached out, his hand trembling slightly, and brushed his fingers lightly across your cheek. His touch was gentle, like a feather, and he felt you leaning into it. He smiled softly and bent down to kiss you. “We’ve got a lot of catching up to do, brat,” he taunts, his words lighting a fire deep within you.

“Show me all we’ve missed then.” Your eyes sparkle with promise, but your cheeks blush a little at the implication behind your words. You start walking back towards the door, taking a few steps before stopping and turning back around to face Severus, your eyes flashing dangerously.

Severus watches you saunter towards him. His cock has never been more ready for this moment. The blood rushes through his body as if his body is actually feeling the force of his arousal. He grabs you roughly and pulls you close, pressing you up against the wall, just short of where you can reach him. Your arms come around his neck, holding on tight as you press your lips hard against his. You kiss him deeply, your tongue exploring his mouth as your hips begin to grind harder against him. Severus groans and starts grinding against you, driving himself closer to you. His hands slide under your skirt, squeezing your ass. You bite his lip as you continue kissing him. You want so badly to rip off your clothes and throw them across the room; to strip yourself naked and beg him to ravish you.

You slowly release your hold on him and push him away, breaking the kiss. A wave of sadness crashes over you as you feel the warmth and passion leave him, leaving him cold and alone again.

“Let’s go downstairs and make some noise, Severus.”

He looks at you, astonished. "But what about the Order? They are still down there!"

"Trust me," you say taking his hand and leading him down the stairs.

The whole time, Severus stares wide-eyed at you, mesmerized by the change that’s happening in front of him. You don’t even look at him. Instead, you stare straight ahead, like prey keeping a watchful eye out for their predator. You know that if anyone spots the two of you together, the jig is up and you won't get to have your fun. Luckily, you manage to maneuver your way around the crowd thanks to the tour of the house Remus gave you earlier. 

“In here,” you whisper ushering Severus into the broom closet that just so happens to share two walls with the meeting room where everyone is blissfully unaware of them.

Severus catches on quickly, muttering a silencing and concealment charm to further hide your whereabouts. “You want to fuck me in a broom closet? In Sirius Black's house? With him just a room over?”

“Yes,” you breathe. “And I need you to help me do it without anyone finding out.”

That gets his attention. It doesn't take long before he moves closer, kissing you hungrily. His hands wander down, seeking you out. You aren't sure if it was a part of his charm or simply because he wanted to fuck you and make up for all the lost time as fast as possible. Either way, you didn't stop him when he pushed you against the wall, the brooms clanking to the floor in the small space as he tore off your underwear and stuck a finger between your legs. It did nothing for a moment, allowing you time to adjust to his thick finger but soon he began curling it, searching for that gummy spot that would have you writhing in pleasure.

It was heaven. Everything about this felt right. The cinnamon and herbal smell on his clothes; the frantic pounding of his heart; the sultry sounds escaping from his throat. The hot intensity of his skin pressing against yours; the feel of his still-clothed cock rubbing against your thigh. His hand moved slowly up your body, lingering on your breasts as his fingers caressed your nipples. Your toes curled as pleasure shot through your whole body.

His hand continued to travel upwards. You tilted your head back, welcoming him to gently squeeze your throat, wearing his hand like a necklace proudly. 

You had never experienced anything like this. Never had a man taste, touch, and kiss like Severus Snape. Never experienced how everything inside you reacted to his touch. How it quivered through your body with each soft brush of his fingertips driving you mad.

You closed your eyes and arched your hips, grinding on him. Moaning softly into his mouth, your nails dug into his shoulders. It was almost too much, his warmth invading your very soul. And then another finger pressed into your entrance, slick and warm, making you whimper and squirm beneath him. His other hand left your throat and cupped your breast, teasing your nipple.

The waves built and broke, becoming more intense than ever before. Severus started moaning your name into your ear. There wasn't any thought in your mind, no care for what might happen if you were discovered. All you can think about is the pleasure you are currently experiencing, nothing else matters.

Your hands claw at the shelves, searching for any sort of leverage to hold yourself upright on shaky legs. He snakes his hand behind your back, holding you in place and giving you the support you were seeking moments earlier, allowing you to fully focus on your climax. Which comes hard and fast, your juices flowing out thick and staining Severus’s pants as you continue to grind down on his thigh. “Fuck, give me a minute, Sev. It’s too much,” you cry out and Severus slows his movements before removing his fingers from you. The absence leaves you feeling empty and cold. “I need you, Sev. Please fuck me.”

“Needy brat,” Severus huffs, dispelling both of your clothes with a simple spell. His hard cock is red and leaking already as he lines himself up with your entrance. “Okay?” he asks as he slowly slips into you.

“Mhmm,” you whine as he slowly starts moving, his pace increasing bit by bit.

It didn't matter who knew about this, if you were caught, or if they saw what you were doing. It didn't matter. This was everything. When Severus wrapped one leg around yours, driving himself deeper inside you, thrusting and squeezing as hard as he could, it all became meaningless.

His body bucked against yours, driving deep and fast. His muscles flexed as his legs tensed and drew you in tight. You started shaking, shuddering beneath him as your second climax approached fast. It didn't seem to affect him at all. If anything, he tightened his hold and sucked your neck harder.

Then he was shaking uncontrollably as well, both of you on the edge, seeking relief. He lowered his forehead to press it against yours. "I love you. I love you forever and always,” he whispers, grunting as he continues to fuck you.

“I love you too, Sev.”

The rumble coming from his chest and throat was enough to make your insides go wild. Your fingernails left red lines on his shoulders as you held onto him for dear life. Gripping your ass, he slammed into you again and again. Filling you with so much lust and passion, you would've done anything for him. No one else in the world mattered except Severus, taking you with all the ferocity of someone who was scared of losing you.

With a screech you both come at the same time, Severus gloriously painting your walls with his come as you tighten around him. He pulls out and his slick and yours run down your legs. It’s a beautiful sticky mess showcasing all of the passion you’ve both been keeping buried and locked away for years.

“Maybe the sounds coming from here,” you hear Remus saying from outside the broom closet.

“Fuck! I thought you put up a silencing charm,” you whisper, hitting Severus in the side.

“I did.”

“Then why isn’t it working?”

“Because I set it up so that Remus and Sirius could still hear us a bit, but no one else. Don’t worry, the concealment charm was set for everyone, no one will see us even if they open the door.”

“Severus Snape!” you exclaim, slapping him. A gasp escapes your lips as the broom closet is opened, light seeping in.

“Hhmm,” Remus says. “It’s empty, Sirius. You must have another boggart somewhere we are hearing but something has definitely been in here. Look at that shit on the ground.”

“Ew,” Sirius says. “Looks like come. That is disgusting,” he gags. “I’ll get Kreature in here to clean it up and go hunt for a boggart I guess.”

Remus slams the door shut and the two men’s voices outside fade away.

“Severus! Oh my god! That was so close!” you shout. “How naughty of you!”

“Hey, you’re the one who said we should come downstairs and make some noise. Or have you forgotten?”

“Fuck you, Sev,” you grumble, kissing him on the cheek. “Now clean up this mess, please.”

~~~

“Oh, Severus! What are you doing here so early?” Molly asks, finishing up breakfast and passing out the plates.

“I slept over.”

“I didn’t know you were staying last night, dear! Where on earth did you sleep?”

“Oh, um…” Severus’s eyes search for yours for help.

“He slept in my room,” you say with a shrug. “We’ve been together for… a while.”

Remus chokes on his tea and he and Sirius exchange a glance, their expressions unreadable.

“Oh really! Congratulations! You make such a cute couple!”

“Thank you so much, Mrs. Weasley!”

Severus grumbles some thank yous and sips his coffee. 

“You’re dating Snivellus? You could do way better than him,” Sirius scoffs, resting a hand on Remus’s shoulder. Remus brushes his hand off as he stands.

“May I have a word really quick?”

“Sure.”

“What was the deal with last night? Why were you leading me on? That was a low blow,” Remus says softly.

“I - I know and I’m sorry. Severus and I had a fight, I was trying to make him jealous. It was wrong of me to do that to you. Please forgive me.”

“No worries. I always had a crush on you when we were in school, by the way,” Remus smiles. “I wish you two the best.”

~~~

“Honey, what are you doing here?” Severus asks, looking up from grading papers in his classroom late one night.

“I have a surprise for you.”

“Oh really?” he hums, placing his quill down. “Do share.”

“I think this will suffice,” you say handing him a parchment which he unrolls to read.

“You withdrew from your position at the Ministry? Why on earth would you do such a thing? I thought you loved your job.”

“I did, but I don’t see a future there for myself anymore.”

“Why is that? What changed?”

“Well, Sev. I - I’m pregnant.”

“What? Are you really?” Severus jumps to his feet when you nod and scoops you up into a hug. “I must hide you. No one can know,” he says suddenly very solemnly.

“Why not?”

“I’ve got to protect you and my unborn child now. No one must find you.”

“Sev, we aren’t doing this again. I’m staying with you, I’m staying here at Hogwarts.”

“What?”

“I’ve already talked to Dumbledore. He’s getting us a bigger living area set up and he’s offered me a job as Minerva’s assistant. It’s all taken care of.”

“Of course, he wouldn’t tell me any of this,” he grumbles.

“This was all on me, Sev. I wanted to tell you.” 

“So when do you begin?” 

“Monday.”

“So we’ve got approximately two days before the whole castle knows I have a girlfriend and that she’s pregnant? Great. I can sense all the rumors already.”

“Hey don’t think about that right now, Sev. Just think about us starting our family. You’re going to be a great dad.”

“I sure hope so.”

“You know, it’s a bit bittersweet,” you say softly, staring out into the night sky from one of the small windows.

“How so?”

“To bring a child into the world when it’s in such turmoil. I’m happy, but we are in for a wild ride.”

“We’ll face it together, honey. I promise. I’m done being a coward. I’m done running.”

“Good, 'cause if you pull that ‘I’m protecting you’ shit again, I won’t come back this time. Got it?”

“Got it.”

You lied. You know that you lied so very hard. No matter what, you’ll always be pulled back to Severus like the ocean gets pulled back into itself as the waves crash upon the shore. You’re connected, intertwined, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. Who knew banging your professor could turn out so good?

[mouseymilkovich]

Take My Breath Away | Lip Gallagher x Reader Fic

masterlist | spotify playlist

Fic Summary: The Gallaghers are generously gifted a trip to Miami; where Lip meets you, someone who was just trying to enjoy their time at the beach after a messy breakup. You, someone who wasn't expecting to have their world turned upside down by one person. | Lip x fem!reader / afab!reader (using they/them pronouns to refer to reader)

Important info: Lip and reader are both 21, Fiona is 26, Ian is 20, Debbie is 16, Carl is 14, Liam is 7, Franny is a year old. Mickey and Ian are one of their "off again" things so he's not there (for now? 👀), and Frank did not join his kids on vacation. | I also write weird to some people cus I'm Canadian, plus I do have dyslexia, and this isn't spell checked whatsoever, so please forgive me lol

GENERAL FIC CW: reader just went through a bad breakup, drinking, underage drinking (Ian and probably Carl and Debbie cus Gallaghers), smoking (cigarettes and weed), underage smoking (Gallaghers yknow), dom!Lip x sub!Reader (nothing too crazy), drunk sex, high sex, obv more will be added as necessary!

Content Tags: reader discusses bits and pieces of their bad breakup, drinking, smoking (cigarettes and weed), underage smoking, mention of drunk sex, mention of high sex

Chapter One: Welcome To Miami

Word Count: 1.2k

You're sitting in the warm sand, stretched out on a towel and relaxing. This was what you needed - you just went through a rough breakup, and a solo trip to the beach was well deserved after all the bullshit you'd just been through. Maybe part of you was wanting to enjoy yourself in spite of your ex who claimed you "don't know how to be happy."

Well, you were enjoying yourself, until some asshole spilled beer on you. Some family next to you on the crowded beach had their kid's beach toys everywhere, and of course, just your luck, this guy tripped in your direction. The beer spillage couldn't have been on the sand, or even on your towel, but on your stomach.

"Fucking-" You yell, sitting up, pulling your towel around to start cleaning yourself up.

"Fuck, I'm sorry, holy shit-"

You're about to scream... until you look at this guy. Wow. Okay, the asshole in question who'd just covered your stomach in beer was... undeniably, and annoyingly, very hot.

There the stranger stood - a tank top fitting him loosely, showing off some muscular arms. Messy (but somehow good-looking?) curls atop his head, piercing blue eyes that you're sure could probably kill somebody if they stared hard enough.

"Guess this is what I get for drinkin' on the beach." He hums with a little half smirk, offering a hand to help you off your towel.

You accept the hand, getting up with his assistance. You grab your towel and your bag, using your towel to wipe the remaining beer off your stomach. "It's fine. I just wasn't exactly expecting my stomach to get sticky this early in the day."

You're unsure why exactly you said that... or what it meant. Or why it sounded so dirty. Or why this guy's half smirk growing into a full one made you blush.

"Let me make it up to you? Buy you a hot dog or something?" He asked, motioning to the small hot dog stand nearby.

Well, you were starting to get hungry... you weren't one to pass up a free lunch.

"Sure thing."

And that's how it begins. You're sitting with this guy at a picnic table, apparently his name is Lip. You can't help but admire the... creativity(?) of him choosing Lip rather than Phil for the short version of his name.

"You from around here?" He asks you curiously, wiping a smear of ketchup from the corner of his mouth.

"Nope. Came to... get away for a little while, I guess. What about you?"

He shakes his head. "Chicago. My sister's... boyfriend or whatever the fuck he is paid for us to come down here, she was supposed to meet him, but he has yet to make an appearance."

You must look intrigued, because he smiles at you and continues. "This Jimmy-Steve guy is a fuckin' piece of work, that's for sure."

"Jimmy-Steve?" You inquire, trying to ignore the way his smile made your stomach do backflips. You hastily remind yourself, internally, "You just went through a messy breakup."

Though you can't deny a hook-up didn't sound so bad. But that's not why you're here; you're here to relax.

"I don't remember which one's the fuckhead's real name. One of them is his fake name when he met Fiona, one of them is real name after we all found out what a piece of shit liar." He explains. As he's talking, a group comes to the picnic table - a woman seemingly a little bit older than you, another boy around your age, two younger teenagers, a younger kid, and a little toddler being held by the teen girl.

"There you are." The woman says to Lip, the younger kid sitting down beside him.

"Hey, Fi, sorry. I spilled beer on my, uh, new friend here. Thought I'd grab a hot dog to make it up to 'em." He says to who you assume must be Fiona, before he turns to the kid with a smile. "Hey buddy, how's the beach?"

You can't help but smile at his affection towards the kid. One by one, you're introduced to the Gallagher family. Lip's older sister, Fiona, and their little siblings, Ian, Debbie, Carl, Liam, and Debbie's daughter, Franny. Before you even know it, you're agreeing to join them for dinner and drinks - honestly, much as you think Lip is crazy hot, you're becoming increasingly curious yourself if this mysterious Jimmy-Steve is going to make an appearance.

As luck would happen to have it, or maybe just coincidentally, you're in the same hotel. And the restaurant/bar attached to it was pretty cool - all Tiki themed and whatnot. You all had a pretty good dinner - getting to know Lip and his brigade of siblings. Of course, Lip fascinates you the most - Fiona and Ian praised his intelligence, Fiona going as far as calling him a "brilliant slacker" which apparently was on his report card one year. Lip and Ian seem very close - that made you smile, you being an only child with a strained relationship with your father's step kids. (Not your step siblings, your father's step kids, there's a huge difference.)

Once it got a little later, Debbie opted to take little Franny and Liam up to their room to settle down for the night, leaving you with the three oldest and... Carl, who you caught staring at your chest more times than not.

"Bud, you're gonna creep them out." Lip laughed, finally catching Carl staring at you.

You can't help but laugh too - yeah, it was a little weird, but Carl was a 14 year old boy, so there was only so much you could do. Well, eventually Fiona sent Carl back up to their room too, and after some protesting, he agreed. The remaining 3 siblings invite you outside to the restaurant balcony for a cigarette - or, rather, they all smoke and try to avoid blowing it too near you lest you cough your ass off. Nicotine wasn't really your thing, and when you mention that, Lip gets a mischievous glint in his eye...

"Would you smoke a joint?"

Of course you would. The way he stares at you sends a chill down your spine... Christ. Yeah, you were right, his eyes could absolutely kill someone in the right circumstances. So, you nod, and to your surprise, a joint materializes from his pocket.

You're admittedly a little nervous - but there's no restaurant staff outside to watch Lip spark up. Fiona and Ian both join in the passing around of the joint - you want to point out that Ian technically isn't 21, but you get the feeling they really don't care and this isn't the first time Ian has done this.

The four of you polish off the joint and go back inside - it seems like there's still no mysterious Jimmy-Steve in sight, but apparently there's a credit card with a tab for the Gallaghers from him. Which Lip generously added your items to.

Then the dance floor opens up as most minors had filtered out of the restaurant by this point, making it more of a place for adults. Some music starts playing as you feel the high from the joint settle into your system, you get a sudden playful glint in your eye. Lip must notice this, because he comes to the floor with you pretty willingly.

Somewhere between your second margarita and waking up next to a naked Lip Gallagher in your hotel room is where your memory gets a little fuzzy.

[oc-poll-tournament]

So, I'll Try To Make This A Thing!

There is enough interest from the poll on my other blog that I want to try and see if this will work! I don't have tons of time because of school, but I already go on Tumblr anyway, so might as well have something to host while I'm at it, lol. So, I'll try and host this thing.

Rules: Whoever is interested, please submit 1-2 original characters (from fanfic or original writing) for the tournament (if you want to group them together, please let me know, if not, I'll just have them be separate), either by messaging this blog, submitting to this blog, sending an ask to this blog, or reblogging this post and putting the information there! I will ask that you also submit your introduction to the character that you want on the poll post at the same time, and that once the poll is live, you can submit propaganda via ask or submission that I'll publish.

Since I do have school, I ask that everyone be patient. I might not be able to respond right away to everything, but I'll try to be as on time as possible! You'll have a week to submit, so submissions close January 16 at 12 pm Central time! I'll try to have a preliminary post with the characters in their brackets (if I use brackets) by sometime the next day. Also, please, if you have any ideas or suggestions, please let me know! I have never done this before, lol. Would you rather have the polls last one day or one week?

I'll try to update this post with links and extra things I think about, and this post will be pinned so it'll be easy to find! Also, I am planning on having a character in this as well, so I hope that's ok!

Here are links to the active polls:

Final Poll: (Chess vs. Crislie Crimsworth vs. Nat Finch)

Answers to questions I have gotten:

Characters can be from anything you've worked on: fanfic, WIP, or finished/published work, as long as they are an original character of yours!

Submissions should include some information about your character, preferably name, pronouns, any unique features, and backstory, but it can be as long or short as you'd like! I'll put that information on the poll post for voters to see! And if you have a picture (picrew, drawing, etc.), please send that along with your submission so I can put it on the poll post as well!

Propaganda will be allowed to submit for your character when the poll is active, but bribes will not be allowed.

So far, I am thinking of having the polls be random, where I put the characters in a random wheel spin and put them in polls against each other based on that. So, probably no brackets. I just like the idea that it'll be completely random!

For a prize, @somealienquill graciously offered to draw a portrait sketch of the winner!

Blogs who showed interest on the poll post are tagged below the cut:

@albatris, @maple-writes, @pen-of-roses, @waltzshouldbewriting, @lux-scriptum, @ibuprofen-exe, @your-absent-father, @abalonetea, @grailfish, @jfictitional, @drabbleitout, @izzyspussy, @flannelandsarcasm, @gailynovelry, @inscrutable-shadow, @sevenscreaminglizards

[unknownpisces002]

Bleed me dry, Make me blue

" She was born in limbo, with the, need to be as simple. As her, makers and the made up things she dreamed."

Shuri Udaku x Reader.

Summary

Fairly different from your peers around you? You're labeled as an outcast. For being far too incompetent to complete certain task and request from your leader, K'uk'ulkan.

As well as from your sister, Namora. Who doesn't make it easy, or let you go without knowing that you'll never be as dexterous, predominant, or treasured as she is.

Which you learned how to accept and live with after while. Because being reminded that you're nothing but a powerless individual everyday, who'll never be anything more except the useless being that you are? Tends to brainwash you and cause you to start believing that those assumptions might be true. Until you find yourself being intrigued by a prisoner, that is. And one of royalty from the surface world, who's encounter will leave you questioning everything you believe in–as well as yourself.

Word count: 6.7K

Themes: friends to lovers to enemies, and then lovers again, angst, eventual sexual content later in the series, slight violence, verbal abuse, reader just wants to be accepted and seen for who she is, forbidden romance i guess you could say?, reader is Talokanil, but we can pretend that she's black, because i wasn't 100% sure if they had any black Talokanil people during the movie?, eventual fluff, and etc.

Tag list: @inmyheadimobsessed @vixentheplanet @shurismainbxtch @pinkwright ( this is my first story ever on tumblr so as we grow together and embark on shuri and the readers journey? just let me know if you'd like to be tagged, and i'll be glad to put more names here in the future ❤️ )

Divider by: @firefly-graphics

Author's note

hi, i'm niy! and i'm a new writer who's decided to branch out from wattpad even though i love writing on there? to tap into something new and write about what i've been interested in lately? which is shuri/letitia. this story will be a series with idk how many parts yet? but i've been putting some thought into this for a while before actually typing anything out? so most likely? there will be a decent amount of parts lol. i don't really know if i have anything more to say, except that i hope you all enjoy part one, and if so? please feel free to follow me and things of that nature. as we proceed to experience this journey of shuri and our kind hearted reader together. 🥹

inspiration for this story period, came from jhenè aiko's souled out deluxe album. which you all probably would've noticed had i not said anything? because majority of the upcoming chapters? will feature a song from there and possibly her other albums she has. but this song specifically? really helped me piece everything together and it got my inspiration and ideas flowing.

but now with further ado? let's get onto the story!

There was an uproar occurring within the city of Talokan, as you paced around nervously in a circle, with knitted eyebrows and an accelerated heartbeat. Outside the front of Namor's cave, where you were being watched like a hawk by the guards who blocked the entrance. As you awaited for him to send some kind of message or bless you with his presence himself.

After Namora had showed up into your quarters unannounced, looking highly displeased and angry, like she always does. Whenever she's forced to take time away from her second in command duties? To be a sister to you–which she hates. And you know that she hates it.

Because she reminds you of it every single time, when the two of you are alone. And far away from other ears to hear, like they've done in the past. Which you were honest to God? Quite a bit thankful for. Knowing that she finally decided to belittle and tear down your demeanor in private? Rather than carelessly doing it around others, and ruining your chances at forming normal friendships or acquaintances with other Talokanil people, who were close around your age.

" Y/N?" Your breathing stilled along with your heart, at the sound of your name rolling off Namor's tongue. " K'uk'uklan." You kneeled before him, holding out both your hands in front of you, as you paid him your respects.

" Ba'ax ts'o'ok in meentik ba'al k'aas?" Rising to your feet slowly after he returned the hand gesture, you tried to steady out your ragged breathing. Seeing that your question had gone unanswered, and that Namor's eyes were boring into yours, with a glint of what looked like disappointment in them?

Translation: Have I done something wrong?

" In ch'ujuk ch'ùupalo' yéetel talamilo' ob?" Namor's eyebrow raised slightly, as he tilted his head to the side. Continuing to stare at you intently, as if he could see straight through you. " Are you unhappy here?"

Translation: My sweet troubled child.

" Because if you are unhappy, and not completely satisfied with the way that things are here? You know there are ways, for me to put you out of your misery and discomfort, Indefinidamente."

Translation: Indefinitely.

A tremor of fear rushed throughout your entire body, once the realization of him threatening to kill you? Had settled inside of your crowded up brain, that was full of thoughts and many different scenarios. As you found yourself trying to imagine what he would do to you, and how he would do it? If you were to continue being the failure that Namora had cursed you to be.

" I am not unhappy, K'uk'ulkan." You responded to his question with a shaky tone, after standing and being silent for what felt like forever.

" Bey u, much sa'asik in." Translation: So please forgive me.

" Much sa'asik in tumen decepcionar, in Ajaw." It didn't take long for the warm feel of tears to come rolling down your face. As you fought to maintain eye contact with Namor, despite it being very intense. As he circled around your small body, as if he was a lion stalking his prey, preparing to pounce.

Translation: Please forgive me for disappointing you, my king.

" Shh, shh, it's alright." His hands came in contact with your skin, as he cradled the bottom part of your chin. Using the pads of his thumbs to dry your face free of the tears. That kept spewing down your face uncontrollably-nonstop, like a waterfall. Or a dam that had been broken and left unfixed.

But at a time like this? You couldn't keep your emotions in tact and prevent your evident occurring sadness from showing, like you'd normally do? Whenever you'd failed at completing a special task that Namor requested. After he'd given you a warning not to screw up or disappoint him. 

Which for some odd reason you blamed the God's and Namora for? Seeing that whenever you attempted to try and redeem yourself for all the fuck ups and mistakes you'd make, while trying to be as great and respected as your dear loving and kind big sister? That you always ended up failing.

And digging yourself into an even bigger hole, that not even Namora couldn't save you from, after you had messed up and displeased the king. " Y/N?" Namor called out to you once more. Allowing you to be snapped out of the small trance you were in, as you continued to weep in front of him softly. Hoping that he'd forgive you for what felt like the hundred millionth time.

And spare your life, instead of putting you out of your misery. Despite your small disliking for your home and some of the people who lived here. Who'd make existing and trying to find your place and what was meant for you? So much harder than it already was. When you had an unsupportive and callous older sister. Who already did that regularly, as if she got some sort of satisfaction, out of making you feel like you were nothing more than an ungifted and worthless individual.

That would never amount to anything or ever be anything. Except for the person that you were right now. Which hurt a lot at times, if you were being completely honest? But over time you grew accustomed and numb to her vile words, and derogatory attitude that she'd show towards you.

And despite how deeply it made you want to put yourself out of your own misery, with the way that her and others had treated you? You refused to let her or anyone else who'd defied and depreciated you in the past, and even still now in the present? Push you to the point of no return.

" Y/N, I need you to take the initiative that I know you have? And that I've distilled inside of you? To be more like Namora. And try harder, way more harder than you do now? So you can be prepared and take charge, like everyone else. So when I call out to you in a time of need or if we're at war?"

" That you'll be ready to stand beside me, Attuma and your sister. And assist us in fighting for our people."

Hearing the word try come out of Namor's mouth, caused your tears to come to an abrupt stop. As you struggled to mask away your apparent frustration and anger, that was slowly beginning to settle over your features. Try, you thought to yourself.

He wants you to try, and be more like Namora? When you've given and lost almost all sense, as well as your peace of mind, trying to force yourself to be a person that the universe and God's above? Clearly didn't want you to be. Seeing that whenever you did attempt to follow up with Namor's commands, as a way to try and regain his trust and respect? That you failed.

Every single time.

No matter how hard you pushed yourself, to be more like your sister or Attuma? 

You've always failed nevertheless. But with a forced smile and eyes full of determination? You nodded and told him you would. Which made him release the hold he had on your face, and smile back at you warmly.

After detaching his lips from the top of your forehead. " In wa'alike' u meent nukuch ba'alo'ob, waal mía." He stepped away from you, inching back near the entrance of his cave.

Translation: I believe you will do great things, my child.

" Kux betpajal ichil le ba'ax yaan Máax ku ya'alik yóok'ol a Buka'aj u ba'al tu beel nojoch? Chúuns tu intentndo yéetel Ma'atech a desanimes, tuméen kolnáalen le k'áate' u páajtal juzgar máak waye'."

Translation: And despite what anyone says about your capability of being great? Keep trying and never get discouraged, for I am the only being allowed to judge anyone here."

" Yes, K'uk'ulkan." Kneeling a second time, you repeated the hand gesture from earlier. Bowing your head down slightly before him, as he did the same. Before disappearing back into the entrance of his cave, where he probably was finishing up a wall mural or painting a new one, as he normally would.

But as quickly as the assumption came? It had faltered away much faster. When the special guest, who you're assuming was the one of royalty, from the surface world. That had the entire Talokan city, as well as the people murmuring and gossiping about? Came walking out of the entrance way of the cave, shortly after Namor had entered back inside of it.

As she was followed behind closely by the guards, who shot you a look of distaste, that clearly meant get lost. And not to watch where they were going, which of course? You ignored and instead went with your instincts, that always led you to get into trouble at times.

But how could you not? After being blessed by the sight of an actual being from the surface. Who was cloaked and wearing a white gown, which you recognized from seeing earlier. When Namora had came into your quarters, and stated that Namor had wanted to see you. After you failed to complete your mission he'd sent you out on.

When a U.S ship had came and tried to steal away vibranium, that was detected outside of the Talokan city walls. And had it not been for Namora coming to save you in time, after a bullet had wounded your side? While you were attempting to fight off one of the U.S agents, who had caught you off guard and snuck up behind you? When you were attempting to fight off another one?

Then maybe you wouldn't have been alive. And of course? Namora wasn't going to let you live without knowing that she'd been the one to save your life. But her doing that and holding it over your head? Was already something you expected she'd do. And despite how annoying it was that she felt the need to bring it up, whenever the two of you talked since the situation occurred?

Apart of you felt grateful to her nonetheless, that she had saved your life. Instead of leaving you to die, like you assumed she would? With how mean and unloving she always acts towards you.

The walk down the hall of the cave was quiet and a bit nerve wracking. As you crept slowly and stealthily, trying your hardest not to look too suspicious if you were caught. Or seen by anyone who'd realize you were somewhere you weren't supposed to be during the moment.

As you approached one of the cells, that had a guard on the outside. Who held onto a staff tightly, as she stood up straight. With her shoulders upright, facing her head forward. In the direction of the entrance, which had allowed you to catch a quick glimpse of the well familiar slightly curled hair, from the female you had seen earlier.

Along with the shaved sides she had, as well as the white gown that was embroidered with teal colored beads. That Namor had made specifically for her, as you watched her from the shadows in awe, from where you were currently standing, with your body slightly crouched as a way to hide yourself from being seen.

Which let you know right away that you were in the correct place.

Seeing how many guards were on patrol. And standing on the outside and inside, which also confirmed that she must've been from a line of great royalty. With how closely her and the other individual, who she was standing beside. And having what looked like an intense or secretive discussion? Were being watched.

" Ba'ax juntéen! Ba'ax ka beetik husmeando ti' le nu'ukulil le áaktuno'? Xeen tu xíik, Wa informaré k'uj. uk' ulkan." One of the guards who stood outside the entrance shouted at you, with her hand pointed in your direction.

Translation: Hey! What are you doing snooping around this part of the cave? Leave at once, or I'll report to K'uk'ulkan.

" I-i was sent down here by my sister, Namora." You spit out quickly, with your hands raised in the air in surrender.

" Yaanten permiso utia'al u yaantal waye'." Taking small steps forward you inched closer towards the guard.

Keeping your eyes locked on hers, as a way to show that you were being honest. Despite the fact that in actuality? You weren't. But of course she'd never know that. And you prayed to the God's up above? That she'd never find out either, once she stepped aside and granted you full access to enter inside of the cell.

Translation: I have permission to be here.

That honestly in your opinion? Wasn't really like one. Nor did it give off an imprisonment vibe, with how the other guards that were located inside? Were offering fruit to both the Princess and the smaller female beside her. While being kind and doing small gestures that you would have never expected them to do, being that they were supposed to be prisoners after all.

But due to the Princess's status of royalty? You assumed that Namor had ordered the guards to treat them both with kindness. And not to bring any harm unto either one of them. Which still felt quite odd and unusual? Especially for him to do? With all the rumors you'd heard about the person standing to the left of the Princess.

Who'd apparently created the machine, that had detected the vibranium, that was located outside the Talokan city walls. " Oh shit, behind you!" The smaller girl shouted frantically.

Alerting the Princess of your presence, as you approached the both of them slowly. With wide eyes full of curiosity and astonishment. And a bit of amusement, as well? At the sight of how afraid the girl who shouted had looked, once you made your way directly in front of both of them.

With a blank expression settled over your features, and crossed arms. That soon unfolded and went down by your sides. As you extended out your right arm, with your hand held out.

" Hi." You said slowly, gazing upwards at the Princess. " I'm, Y/N."

" And you must be the scientist, who created the machine that detected our vibranium?" You turned your head in her direction next, feeling a small smile tug at the corners of your lips. At the sight of how much more afraid she looked now? Than she did just a moment ago. When you were beginning to approach them, after entering inside the cell.

" I made that machine for class man, and I had no idea that the U.S were going to use it to detect vibranium." She held her hands up in surrender, stepping behind the Princess shortly after making that statement.

" I-it was just a class project–"

" And I didn't mean to upset anybody." Continuing to blabber on about her innocence and not knowing that the machine she built, was to detect vibranium? You found yourself letting out a light chuckle at how frantic she'd gotten.

Before extending your hand out to the both of them once more. " I'm not angry." You told her, speaking in a light voice.

" Namor might be angry? But I'm not angry at you."

" And I'm sorry that you're in this situation. Because it's fairly obvious that you're innocent and knew nothing about the machine, being used by the U.S? But I'm not here to bring any harm unto either of you."

" Then why are you here?" The princess muttered out questioningly, raising her eyebrows at you in suspicion.

" To meet and greet you properly." You answered quickly, halting in your footsteps when she stepped back away from you, when she had felt that you were getting far too close.

" Meet me?" She let out a chuckle next, tilting her head towards the side.

" Yes." You nodded your head up and down, continuing to keep your eyes locked with hers.

" I've never met anyone from the surface world before, well? I have actually. But it was a U.S soldier who almost killed me. So, I guess that doesn't really count as actually meeting one and greeting them properly? Like how I'm trying to greet the two of you."

" But if my presence is making the two of you uncomfortable? I can leave." Turning on your heels, you let out a deep sigh. Feeling foolish all of a sudden for coming down here, and thinking that the two of them would be delighted to see you?

When you were nothing but a stranger, who lived in a place that neither of them would be able to survive in. With a completely different appearance than they had as well, but even still? You had hoped that they'd be a bit more welcoming.

Seeing how they weren't so uptight, with the guards who were currently still inside, before you approached them. " No..wait." You paused immediately upon hearing that, with your backside still facing the two of them.

" I am, Princess Shuri. Of Wakanda." She spoke aloud. " Daughter of Queen Ramonda, and King T'Chaka."

" It's a pleasure to meet you, your highness." You turned back around facing her, proceeding to bow and greet her properly, like you were taught to do by Namor. When being in front of the presence of royalty.

" And it's also a pleasure to meet you too." You glanced over at the scientist next, hoping that she'd tell you her name. And quit being so afraid as if you'd hurt her? When in reality? All that you wanted to do was get to know them.

And possibly learn more about their life on the surface world? Before Namor decided to do whatever it was that he'd do with them. " I'm, Riri." She finally revealed her name, after a long awkward moment of silence.

" Riri Williams."

" Nice to meet you, Miss.Williams." Another smile settled over your face, as you clasped your hands together nervously, and averted your focus back towards the Princess. Who was already eyeing you intently, as if she was in deep thought about something.

" So.." You trailed off, taking a seat against the floor. " What's Wakanda like?"

" Because I've heard Namor mention, that the air there? Is pristine. And how the water is nothing compared to the water, here in our ocean."

" It's beautiful." The princess spoke quietly, smiling a bit to herself. At the thought of her homeland and the people who lived there. " Beautiful and peaceful."

" But your home here in Talokan? Is quite beautiful too." Her gaze returned to your face, when a small, cheerful laugh–had erupted from the back part of your throat. Which puzzled her and Riri for a moment? As they wondered what is was, that you found so funny.

When Talokan, was just as beautiful and full of joyful individuals? Like Wakanda.

" Have I said something that's amused you?" Shuri questioned, with confusion settled across her features. " No, and yes." You answered, taking this time to pick with the bottom part of your mouth mask, that had covered up your mouth and nose.

With water being on the inside, that allowed you to breathe properly. 

" You don't think that Talokan is beautiful?" There was a hint of amusement and disbelief in Shuri's tone. As she watched you closely, looking as if she were trying to read you. And figure out why you had given the response you did.

" I do." You nodded. " But some of the people here? Aren't quite as joyous and kind as you think." Mumbling the last part of your words so lowly, that both the Princess and scientists had glanced at one another afterwards. As a way to see if either of them had heard what you said.

Made you laugh for what felt like the thousandth time, as you rose to your feet again slowly. And smiled cheekily at the both of them, before repeating yourself. Once you saw how stressed they both had looked, while trying to decipher what you had muttered out moments ago.

" I love being from Talokan, and living underwater. With the fish and whales, and all other beings that exists here. But..sometimes? It gets a bit overwhelming. Trying to exist inside a place, where you'll never be able to fit in or be accepted? Regardless of how much you try to make other's, see you as an equal."

Opening up about your troubles to strangers? Had never been something you'd think you'd ever do. With how much other Talokanil people your age? Had judged you off the mistakes you've made. While trying to be as great as Namora, who never had to try too hard, to be respected or treated fairly.

Unlike you, on the other hand? Who went through hell and back, just to have someone smile at you. Or acknowledge your existence, on the days that you walked alongside of your sister, with eyes full of hope and admiration? That you could be as gifted as she was some day.

And be the one that Namor called out to, for help and to be a listening ear. But of course? You knew that those dreams of being as great as Namora, Attuma, or any other guard here? Would never be an actual reality.

Because you were ungifted. And far too incompetent, to be as great as any of them were.

" I know how that feels." Riri glanced up at you, with eyes full of sincerity. " To want to be accepted and fit in with others? To the point that you work yourself to death and jump over mountains, just to please them? When all they'll do is reject you and laugh in the end."

" But you wanna know what helped me get through that?"

" Yes, please." You nodded eagerly, with eyes full of desperation.

" I said fuck them, and chose to do what it was that I wanted. Because I realized that being like others? Was lame as hell and unoriginal. When I could just be in my own lane. While doing something that made me genuinely happy? Instead of forcing myself to be someone? I knew that I wasn't."

Her words of advice were kind, as she flashed you a warm smile. Before placing her hand atop your shoulder hesitantly. Causing fresh tears to rush to the brim of your eyelids. As you threw your arms around her tightly. Which had caught both her and the Princess completely off guard.

But she returned the gesture despite that, making your heart pump with happiness. For what felt like the first time in forever. Being that for once in such a long time? You had been seen and understood for who you were, without having to do anything to show them that you were worthy of receiving their kindness and respect.

" Thank you." You sniffled, stepping back from the hug after a while. With your hands wiping away at the tears, that were falling continuously down your cheeks. 

" So, so much."

" No problem." She patted your shoulder once more, offering you the sleeve of the robe she wore, to clean your face. Causing you to smile and shake your head, declining. Before you shifted your focus back towards the Princess.

Feeling your stomach go into knots, when the corners of her lips curved upwards. And she smiled at you. Allowing her perfect, pearly white teeth to be seen. And the sharpness of her jaw to pop out, and catch your attention. Sending you shying away from her gaze and inching near the exit of the cave, so you could leave.

And be gone, before Namora or even worse? Namor showed up unexpectedly.

" It was a pleasure meeting the two of you." Turning around a final time, to face them and wave goodbye. You couldn't help but avert your gaze back to Shuri. Who had already been watching you as you were proceeding to leave.

With an unreadable look in her eyes, that had left you wondering what she might've been thinking about? But you figured that there was a possibility she could be homesick? Since she had been taken and brought into a place, full of people and things, that she wasn't so familiar with.

" Same to you, entle." Shuri was the first to speak back, a surge of confidence and amusement filling her body. As she watched your brows knit together in confusion, while you tried to figure out what it was, that she had said to you meant.

Translation: Beautiful.

" And perhaps maybe one day, if you're allowed and granted access to leave? Then you can come to Wakanda and visit. So I can show you just how beautiful and pristine, the air is there."

Nodding on that note, you said a quick 'yes', with a voice full of excitement. Hoping and praying to the God's, that Namor would allow you to visit her? And experience being in another place, that was far more different and clearly advanced than here? Seeing how the black beads on the bracelet, that was wrapped around the Princess's wrist? Began to glow a light blue color.

Which you're assuming she hadn't noticed? With how closely she was eyeing you while smiling uncontrollably, with a smile so infectious and warm? That you found yourself returning the expression. And soon your cheeks began to grow sore, with how widely you had spread your lips, to mirror her exact grin.

" The two of you, might as well go ahead and fuck each other. Instead of doing the shit with your eyes." Riri let out an exasperated sigh, plopping down to take a seat against the cot that was behind her.

Fuck? You thought to yourself with a frown. Growing confused at what the smaller girl had meant. As you wondered why the Princess had began shooting her a glare, with a face full of what looked like embarrassment?

" Please excuse Miss.Williams, vulgar language." Shuri turned back around to face you, speaking in an apologetic tone. " She has a tendency of being very..blunt? And talking without thinking about what comes out of her mouth."

" If I'm being honest? I have no idea what she said even means, but I have to get going now. And I hope to see the two of you again soon? If Namor grants me access to leave, that is. Oh, and Riri?"

Your eyes glanced over your shoulder, watching as she sat up from her slouched position and raised an eyebrow questioningly. " I hope Namor forgives you, and allows you to go home."

" I hope he allows the both of you, to be reunited with your families. Because the two of you are far too kind, to be held here? When neither of you have done anything wrong."

And with that, you walked away. After waving goodbye a final time. Feeling much more lighter and happy? After being in their presence and experiencing their kindhearted energy. Which was something you were going to miss, very much.

Had Namor decided to get rid of them, like he'd been telling Namora he would do? If the Princess hadn't complied with whatever wishes he had. For Riri, the scientist.

You're awoken out of your slumber, by a rough hand being pushed against your shoulder. Which causes your body to shoot up, and your eyes to open on automatic. As you rubbed your hands against them lightly, trying to get used to the bright lighting that was now on in your quarters. Causing you to squint slightly, and rise your body upwards from it's curled position.

When you made out Namora and Namor's faces, being not too far away from your bed. As looks of anger and dissatisfaction? Were evident in their intense gaze upon you.

" Jump'éel guardia kíinsa'abij le áak'aba' tuméen juntúul intruso." Namora approached the side of your bed, urging you to stand. Without caring about how rough she was handling you. As you struggled to catch your balance, after she'd shoved you onto your knees. Allowing you to be directly in front of Namor.

Translation: A guard was killed this evening by an intruder.

Who had stooped down to meet your level, as he cupped your chin tightly. And gave it a light squeeze, making you squeeze your eyes shut in fear of what he'd do to you? After he opened his mouth and spoke the next words.

" Ba'ax seguramente k'a'abéet a yaantal jump'éel extraña inclinación? Ka lela' p'u'ujul, in waal."

 Translation: You surely must have a strange penchant? When it comes to upsetting me, my child."

" And before you deny being anywhere near the caves where the cells are, this evening? It has already been told to me? That you were there. So please, Y/N? Make this easy for all of us. And most importantly? Yourself. And tell me exactly why, you were seen conversing with the Princess and the scientist? In the first place."

Each of his words hit you like a bullet, with how harshly he was speaking. All while keeping a neutral like facial expression present, which honestly? Had to be one of the things that you feared about him the most. The way he could be threatening your life? And not look angry or frustrated.

Unlike Namora? Who allowed all of her rage she felt right now? To be showcased off. So you'd be able to know that she was pissed at you, and of course? Disappointed–as always.

" In ajawo', Sa'asik in, Béet." You pleaded, turning your head away in discomfort, when his grip on your chin had tightened.

" I was only curious and I wanted to meet them." You added.

Translation: My king, please forgive me.

" I knew nothing about the Wakandan's plan, to come and retrieve them. In ts'aiktech in jach t'aan, I knew nothing about it!"

Translation: I swear to you.

" I see." Namor finally spoke, as he released the grip he had on your chin. Which made you collapse backwards and fall against the cool floor. As you scooted away from him near your bedside. With hot tears rolling down your cheeks, and ragged, labored breathing. 

" And the air in Wakanda? Was very pristine." Pausing in his footsteps, he snapped his finger loudly. Making Namora rush towards his side, eager to comply with whatever task, he was proceeding to ask of her.

" Beetik a querida kiik utia'al sáamal." Namor's eyes peered down at you from the side, as you continued to cry uncontrollably. Cradling the bottom part of your chin, as your heart rate began to accelerate, upon hearing his words.

Translation: Prepare your loving sister for tomorrow.

The demanding request left both you and Namora, staring up at him in confusion. While he on the other hand, kept his same neutral like expression present. Pointing over at you as he eyed Namora closely, and waited for her to come to your side like he'd requested.

" Beetik u ba'ax, in Ajaw?" The confusion in Namora's voice was evident, as she approached your side slowly. Despite the fact that you could tell, she wanted nothing but to grab you up by the chin herself? And scold you for being so foolish and careless, as if you sneaking down to the caves, to talk to the prisoners? Wouldn't have been discovered.

Translation: Prepare her for what, my king?

" Y/N, mentioned her distaste for living in Talokan to the Princess." Namor announced what you had mentioned to Shuri and Riri aloud, the statement making Namora crane her neck. And snap her head down in your direction, which allowed you to almost feel how much her anger was beginning to radiate from off of her body.

" I-i never said I hated it? I-i just said th–"

" Chan tonta, Bix a atreves t'aan k'aas u k wotoch!" Namora raised her voice, as she gripped the bottom of your chin, forcing you to face her. Without caring about the fact that the gesture was starting to hurt you.

Translation: You foolish little girl, how dare you speak badly of our home!

" Teech jump'éel su'utalil!" Her shouting continued, and her choice of words had caused your chest to ache. As you widened your eyes and stilled your breathing. At the sound of a choked out sob erupting from your mouth, following light sniffing.

Translation: You are a disgrace!

" N-namora, please." Seeing your sister this angry with you? Was a sight you hadn't witnessed in a while. But just hearing her say that you were a disgrace? While looking at you as if she was ashamed to even be related to you? Had caused what little bit of hope you had of the two of you rekindling your bond? Shatter into millions of pieces, like broken glass from a mirror that had been cracked.

" Enough!" Finally speaking again, after allowing Namora to tear you apart with her words? Namor had motioned her back beside him, causing her to let go of your chin, all while adding a bit of force as she did so. Which made your head fly back and bump into the edge of your bed, leaving a throbbing sensation present on the left side of your head.

" Y/N?" 

" Y-yes, K'uk'ulkan?" You stammered out nervously, rising up to your feet with your chest puffed out. As you awaited for him to say what he wanted from you. " Come." He curved his index finger, beckoning for you to walk towards him.

And you did so slowly, with your hands clasped together tightly, as they shook and began sweating a bit? After you finally made your way in front of him, and his intense, intimidating eyes? Were now gazing down at you.

" Tomorrow? We will be going to Wakanda for revenge." He started off slowly, causing you to swallow hardly, and just nod. " And the Queen and scientist? Will be killed."

" Which will leave the Princess, with no choice but to be crowned Queen. And that will put us one step closer? To getting Wakanda to form an alliance with us, so we can go to war with the surface world."

" And I know what you're thinking, my child." A deep chuckle left his lips, as he began circling you like he'd done earlier. " You're thinking that the Princess won't comply?"

" And that she'll refuse my offer? Because the death of her sweet, loving Mother. Am I correct, Y/N?"

Shrugging your shoulders, you muttered out ' I'm not sure' incoherently. Feeling what little of a heart you had left? Break for Shuri. At the mention of Namor, admitting that he was preparing to murder her Mother on tomorrow, after they had just been reunited this evening.

" Ah, I see." His circling around you stopped abruptly, making you glance up at him with glossy eyes and raised brows. While Namora stood off towards the side, continuing to stare at you with nothing but disgust and disappointment, and if you weren't mistaken?

A look of hate.

" I can sense your pity for the Princess, Y/N. And I know that this is a lot of information to take in? And that you're probably angry with me, for preparing our soldiers to tear down the home, in which your new found friend lives? But I warned her Mother, before their people came and killed one of ours."

" So whatever pity or sadness you feel for them? Lose it!" Flinching from his tone as he shouted at you? You dropped your head in shame, struggling to keep back your sobs when he opened his mouth and spoke his last words, before proceeding to leave from out of your quarters.

" People from the surface world? Only care about themselves, Y/N. And as pure hearted as you are? I apologize in advance for what I'm about to request of you. But just know? That you refusing my command? Will leave me with no choice but to kill you."

There it was again, you thought to yourself. As you reflected on how your body had felt? When he had threatened to kill you earlier today, with no hint of remorse in his tone as he did it. And as you looked over at Namora, she didn't seem the slightest bit phased about Namor's threat to end your life either.

And that there? Had stung, and before you knew it? You were crumbling right in front of both of them. Not caring about how weak you may have looked, as you wept uncontrollably. With loud, painful, sobs escaping from out your mouth.

" Tomorrow when we go to Wakanda? You will be accompanying us. And when we get there? Your job is to find the Princess, and convince her to accept my offer to form an alliance with our people. So that Wakanda and us Talokanils, can go to war with the surface world together."

" And I'm also aware, that after I kill her Mother and the scientist? That she will not be too elated to have you in her presence. And maybe? She'll have you thrown into a cell where you'll be held as a prisoner? But despite that possibility? Your job is to convince her to join me."

" Ka wa leti' u niega?" You choked on your words, staring up at him with anger. That you weren't afraid to mask away, like you'd normally do. When he had taken it upon himself to make you feel in the exact same way, that Namora would make you feel.

Which was worthless. And like your feelings about things? Didn't matter.

Translation: And if she refuses?

" Then you sing to her, and you make her agree." He stated sternly, referring to your siren abilities, that helped you perform hypnosis. And place someone under a trance, that would beckon them to you, and allow you to be in complete control of them.

" Do I make myself clear?" Inching near the exit of your room, he paused in his footsteps. Refusing to leave, to go and alert the soldiers of their task for tomorrow. Until you spoke up and answered him.

" Yes, K'uk'ulkan." You said quietly, drying at your eyes with the palm of your hands.

" I understand."

Inching back towards your bed, when he remained silent. And continued to stand in your doorway, you shot Namora a look of hurt. Hoping that she'd feel guilty for not having your back, in the way that you tried to have hers–despite your lack to be as dexterous as she was?

But you knew that deep down? She didn't care. And that she'd rather watch you fail and be punished, than to assist you in being better at the things you weren't as good at.

" Oh, and Y/N?" Namor said your name lowly, as he was halfway out of your quarters.

" Yes, K'uk'ulkan?"

" You mentioned that you wished to be granted access to visit Wakanda? So despite your mission? I hope you take the initiative to enjoy your time away from Talokan. Because after one week time has passes, and I return ready to conquer the surface world? You'll never be able to leave these waters again."

" So enjoy your stay, In ch'ujuk ch'úupalo' yéetel talamilo'ob." He laughed menacingly, turning around to face you fully with a look of amusement present.

Translation: My sweet troubled child.

" And please do not fail to disappoint me, Y/N. Because if you do? Then you'll leave me with no choice, but to put you out of your misery. Like you've so desperately been wanting for the past year."

[thithesandofferings]

Be-comings of Ardor: pt. 2

Summary: Raian sees you as something other than nothing

Pairing: Raian x Reader

AN: Shorter chapter this time. Smut coming soon muahahaha

Tags: Descriptions of violence. Slow...slow burn. (Its actually not that slow theyre obsessed with each other) Eventual smut. Multi-chaptered. Nothing too crazy. I havent decided if I wanted to get any crazier lol. Honestly this is just an excuse to learn how to write descriptively so please bare with me.

Part 1

Part 3

Its two weeks before you see him again.

You don't even try to look for him the first few days. Knowing that his presence will be celebrated by others, you would rather die than have that kind of uneasy attention on you.

Doesn't mean you don't feel him. He's a constant being in your psyche. Pressing heavily at your tendons. Puncturing your dreams and basking wantonly in your nightmares. He avoids you, but you see whispers of him. Your peripheral is haunted by the monsters he creates around the corners. If you didn't know any better, you'd think he wants you to put him back where he came from. To retract your winnings.

Your silence and withered patience seems to please him. If only a little. Humor sings cruelly into your fingers when you know he's close by. Because once the two weeks is over, you hear him beacon for you. Its startling. Grating when you hear his voice in your head. Pains the nerves, making you blink rapidly as shadows vibrate the hollow of your skull. Doesn't even deem you significant enough to say words. Just lets his intention fold you into an obedient thing.

Your sandwich tastes of dust, gritty-digging into your gums and eating away at your flesh when you chew. looks even less appetizing. This does not stop you from grabbing it and bringing it over to him. Where he sits alone. A throne in its own right. Not a follower to be found. You hear whispers burn into your neck, but when you turn, heads are down and the heated words are not towards you. Not that you believe for a second they aren't interested in what you have to say.

Or why you're not dead yet.

Picking yourself up becomes easier the closer you get to him. You sit, but make sure to leave his heated gaze. It burns to look at him. Blood vessels crack when your knees press against his. You don't deem it important enough to move it. There is an unspoken crime to be had. One where the strangers of the Kure family didn't think important to tell you. Your shoulders start to lift straighter, and breathing becomes easier. They don't tell you that being away from your demon causes your soul to experience lacroysmic pain. Tears and sheltered screams covet the pillows every night. Or if there inst a brush encounter, then you forget who are for hours. Dissociating as your skin becomes parlor and your cells take on a pewter tone. Hollowed and feeble, for once, you want something permanent. Want him to stain your skin so you never have to go through the kind of pain you did for those two weeks.

"You feeling it now?" You don't even have time to feel embarrassed. Needles prickling at your spine when he speaks to you for the first time. You barely can scramble out a mumbled reply.

"If I had known that not being around you would cause this much annoyance, I would have followed you just like your little groupies" Being snarky with a war demon may not have been the best idea, but two weeks and having to deal with soul sucking despair, you'll say just about anything.

He seemed to enjoy the comment. Studying you before the next moment and smiling cruelly.

"You weren't ready for me, brat-" He leaned in to grab your jaw, pulling you closer. "I needed to know how loyal you were." Wrenching yourself back before his touch burned you alive, you couldn't help but scoff in anger. He could have just asked, or even let you know what was going on with his little test.

He gets up suddenly and doesn't wait to see if you follow. He knows you will. The sandwich is laid limp and cold on the table. The Kure family begins to hover over it. Birds flocking to pieces of meat that smell of you and your demon.

The demon says nothing as you both walk, but you make sure that you are close to him. Breathing in his ashen scent, brushing the molten skin minutely. You take your time to gaze up at him. He looks like he was getting used to the skin he'd been given. Starting to look like the old pictures his relatives had. You didn't see him sporting the purple hue anymore, it fading into a skin tone not quite grey, not quite purple. Blending seamlessly into each other. Didn't seem to care that you were staring either. Making sure to look over at your form, slowly roving over your form in a way that feels like he's pushed you into a lake of fire.

"Stop-" You start, only for him to deliberately stop short.

"You started it first. Don't look if you don't want that shit returned." It has your nerves pushing and trembling anxiously when you follow his broad back passed the back entrance to the training room.

You're about to fight.

Specifically. You're about to fight a demon. Your demon.

Its all a blur after the third time he puts you on the mat. The pain is irrelevant. It always is. But the rush of satisfaction bleeds into your disappointment.

He's out of breath.

His resolve blows gently against your face. Soothing the itch that has been shadowing you since he walked away. Contentment digs its way through your belly, unfamiliar, but not unwelcome. The demon sees it in your face, when you look up at him, brief flashes of surprise melting into the blacks of his eyes.

When he pulls away from you, it feels like puling flesh from muscle. Aches in greedy ways. You want to keep him on you. Inside you. As one. The hunger borderlines on inappropriate. Makes your face flush in embarrassment when you finally start to hear the excited echoes of the Kure family needling at one another.

Silence balances the room entirely when he sticks a hand out. To help you. Roughened palms from decades of blood spilled underneath his fingerprints. Its warmer than you'd expect when you grasps them. Callouses digging into your palm, wanting to rip away tender skin in the brief moments of contact. Rough skin scorching when it presses against yours. Seeing the size of his palm eclipse yours and it makes your throat run dry. Clicking hard as you swallow through your need. His eyes flicker a garish red only to blink and its gone quickly. But you feel it, old weight buried on your body as he assesses the damage he has done. Can hear the eldritch being admit a deep rumble of a satisfied purr when he sees that you have his marks on you.

The look wrenches you open, swallowing you whole in its rapacity. Its hard to look away from him, but his followers take his attention- pushing you out the way without ever touching you. You're used to that by now. Being the strongest doesn't always give way to respect you've learned. That doesn't stop the demon Raian from looking away from you. Eyes shifting and pulling pieces away from you and making them his. You'll have to decide what offering is best to give him the next time you meet.

[foodsies4me]

March Malec fic rec!

A very big thank you to @just-add-butter for this month's suggestion: Animal transformations! As usual, I'm keeping it to one fic per author, bust several of these authors have multiple fics that apply and even more fics that are wonderful. And, if you want to add you own recs in the replies, tags or reblogs please feel free to do so! (Also if someone has a theme for April please tell me so I can get that list out a bit sooner than at the very end of the month, lol)

I have tagged the authors whose Tumblr account I know, but if you'd prefer I not tag you, please tell me so! I don't want these to be annoying for the authors.

One-shots:

Hop into my arms by @malecfan09: Magnus gets turned into a bunny and it's adorable, what more do you want me to say? This is just fluff, fluff and more fluff.

Summary

Magnus has been magically turned into a bunny by a rogue warlock and Alec looks after him until the spell wears off. *** Flufftober 2023: Day 18 - protecting and Day 20- reading together

Shake Your Fetters Loose by Dreadwyrms: Alec gets turned into a dog and Magnus is NOT a dog person. Post canon with married Malec and again lots of fluff.

Summary:

An investigation into a rogue warlock goes very, very wrong, and Magnus learns he’ll never ever really be a dog person. AKA the one in which Alec accidentally gets turned into a dog.

Everybody (does not) want to be a cat by Falazure: One of the many, many Magnus or Alec get turned into a cat fics on this list.

Summary:

Magnus has suffered worse things in his long life, but being turned into a cat was still up-there on the list of rather annoying inconveniences.

Deepest desires (give in) by @myulalie: Another kitty Magnus fic based on a drawing by @misawkward.

Summary:

Were-cats are good luck by shadowhunters' standards, so when a black, jewelry covered cat appears at the Institute, Alec pays him his respects. He needs it, considering the messes Clary and Jace keep dragging him in. Alec certainly doesn't expect the were-cat to take a liking to him, and even less to start flirting with him...

the catastrophe of success by @alexanderlightweight: A personal favourite Magnus cat fic of mine!

Summary:

Magnus Bane was the most eligible bachelor in the Downworld, sought after by everyone from mundanes to Seelie Princes but a man tired after centuries of heartbreak. In an attempt to gain a respite from his admirers, Magnus proposed a deal. A key to his loft and a path through his wards guarded by his cat, if anyone managed to take the key, Magnus would grant them a date.

Multi-chapter fics or series:

The dragon!Alec series by @to-the-stars-writing, who is perhaps the queen of the dragon Alec fics. I have read and reread every single one of them.

Summary of Building a Clan (aka part one in this series)

Keeping secrets was never easy. Alec should know – he was keeping quite a few. Sometimes it was hard to remember who knew what secrets. The chance of slipping up, the damage that could cause, was unthinkable. There were too many things about himself that he couldn’t let just anyone know. Too many things that marked him as wrong or different, even if he didn’t understand why sometimes. His family were the only ones to know his biggest secret, one that could get him killed if he wasn’t careful. Bad enough that his parents had once been a part of the Circle and extremely close to Valentine himself. If any Shadowhunters – or, Angel forbid, the Clave – ever found out that Maryse had allowed Valentine to inject her with something, mixing what she’d been told was more Angel blood with her unborn child, the ramifications could be catastrophic for their family. More so if they ever found out it wasn’t Angel blood that he’d injected the fetus with. It was dragon blood.

The Warlock's Cat by @dreaming-marchling, which I already put on my end-of-the-year rec list, but it deserves to be here again because So Good. Kitty Alec fic!

Summary

Pain raced up his arm. It was a sharp throb that radiated out. More than a broken bone. When Alec went to flex his hand to see how bad it was he couldn’t. His eyes snapped to his own hand and there was no hand. There was no him. By the Angel… Alec scrambled up on uncoordinated legs – too many legs! – that trembled underneath him. He panted and looked down at himself as best he could. Dark fur. Two paws, one still scorching with pain. The ground not even a foot below him even though he was standing as tall as he could. Reality was screaming at him and Alec couldn’t accept it. His brain couldn’t wrap itself around what was in front of him. That bastard had turned him into a cat.

Shoelaces and Precious Metals by @violet-renegade: Another dragon!Alec fic that is angsty and sweet and just a very nice read.

Summary

Magnus loves Alexander, his proud dragon Shadowhunter, and he knows that Shadowhunters don't display their relationships with collars the way Downworlders do. Magnus always thought he understood what that meant for him and Alec. As it turns out, Magnus didn't understand at all In the early months of their relationship, Alec had let himself wonder about what kind of collar Magnus might offer him. Sometimes, he'd even indulge in the thought that Magnus would coordinate Alec’s collars with his own outfit, marking it clear who Alec belonged to every time they went out. And then Magnus doesn't ask. And doesn't ask. And doesn't ask.

Hearth and Home by @molly_jae: And another Dragon!Alec fic. Yes there are a lot of dragon fics!

Summary of Ichor and Cuddles which is the first part in this two-part series:

“Alexander, I love you,” Magnus sighs, throwing his head back with a thud against the hardwood floor. “But unlike your lovely scales, ichor does not just slide off my limited edition Marc Jacobs jacket, or these pants you love to see my ass in.”

The Warlock's Familiar by @harkasun: Another cat!Alec fic!

Summary:

For over five years, Alec Lightwood has been denied his birth right: that of a familiar to be claimed by a warlock. When he finally finds that warlock, having talked him down from the ledge of Brooklyn Bridge, he despairs to find that the man wants nothing to do with him. With rising pressures from his family, and his warlock’s steadfast determination to shut him out, Alec must talk his way into Magnus’s home and heart. The only question is: how far will he go to claim his fate?

[kimbapisnotsushi]

you seem to have a good read on HQ and your takes are great, so i have a question...and if you'd rather not go there, please ignore this! but i see oikawa get called "arrogant" quite often and i'm curious, would you say he is? what is it that makes people think that? imo he has a plenty of flaws, but i truly don't think arrogance is one of them. self-centered, sure, but not arrogant i think. i'm open to being wrong, i'm just legit so confused by that particular criticism, it makes me doubting my reading comprehension. i feel like that one post that's like "free my man, he didn't do that. he did a lot of other stuff tho" LOL. if you do answer this, then thanks for your time!

oh, dear anon. this is a very very big question and i'm honored you think i am capable of providing an answer that does it justice!! i don't consider myself an oikawa expert by far, but i'll do my best because he's still very beloved to me, and i hope whatever i say helps!

(but also - maybe take what i say with a grain of salt LMAO)

anyways, to get the main point out of the way: i completely agree that oikawa isn't arrogant! i actually haven't seen any commentary about that myself (bless!!!), so i can't say for sure why some people might think that, but my guess is that they think his pridefulness = arrogance — they think that the confidence he has in himself and seijoh contributes nothing to their actual power and is utterly meaningless if they don't win, especially in the face of ushijima. which, like, come on. what kind of captain would he be if he wasn't confident in himself and his teammates? is he supposed to tell them that they're going to lose??? is he supposed to discourage their hard work and effort???

or maybe it's because oikawa acts like he's all that, but doesn't have anything to show for it. who does he think he is? what does he think his pride is worth? what right does he have to go around making grand declarations when he has nothing to his name?

(which isn't entirely true, either, but we'll get into that, promise.)

now, do i think that he can, occasionally, be flippant, shallow, and/or petty? yeah, sure. he's got one hell of a personality about it. even iwaizumi says as much. oikawa is great at being a little shit. it's one of my favorite things about him!

but is oikawa genuinely arrogant, or self-centered? well . . . i don't think so.

see, here's the thing about oikawa: he knows he's good, but he doesn't think he's good enough. i think it'd be easiest to really explain what that meant if we broke this down into two separate parts, so let's give it a go, shall we?

(buckle up, friends, because it's about to get LONG. also: TIMESKIP SPOILERS!! and there's a tldr at the start of the tags because. WOW.)

so, first things first: if people are calling oikawa arrogant, then i'm like 99% sure that they don't actually know what the word "arrogant" means.

"arrogant" is used to describe someone full of themselves. it's used to describe someone conceited and pompous. it's used to describe someone so assured of and invested in their self-importance that they don't care for other people, and if it seems like they do, then it's usually wildly off the mark and still serves to inflate their own egos.

oikawa has never once been like that. he's been pretty much the exact opposite, in fact.

and yeah, sure, by his third year of high school, he knows he's good at volleyball, and that's fine! it's perfectly all right to claim you're good at something if you have the skills/experience to back it up. confidence is healthy as long as it isn't in overabundance, and we actually see a lot of this throughout the series!

(not to mention that this was where ushijima fell short. he was overflowing with confidence. he did not believe, for even a single second, that hinata shouyou and his meager, scrappy little flock of crows could beat him.

but oikawa? he knew. he knew what it looked like to make something bloom.)

the key to oikawa's confidence that made him better was that he could pinpoint others' strengths and weaknesses just as well as he could with his own. and (bear with me, please, i might get kind of boring here bc it's nothing that hasn't been said in the manga before) i don't mean it in the way we see the coaches or more analytical players do, as observations to be taken advantage of by everyone else; i mean that in the sense of how vital it is to his position as a setter. that was always the biggest difference between oikawa and kageyama: no matter how much more raw talent kageyama had, no matter how much better oikawa believed him to be, kageyama, especially in the beginning, struggled to do what oikawa could with a team. kageyama struggled to bring out the best in each player. and it wasn't because he didn't know how -- oikawa freely admitted that kageyama had the skill for it, that kageyama, once he got his shit together, could win against him -- it was because kageyama didn't have that same confidence in himself.

(not until much later, anyways. but that's another story, for another time.)

so, oikawa's confident. he knows he's good. he can bring out the best in each player. he's got a killer serve (and a killer smile!), a mind for tactics that borders on machievallianism, and cherishes the trust he is given like it's something precious. his coaches let him lead without leaning on them. his team has the utmost respect and admiration for him. he has a reputation. from karasuno to shiratorizawa to the whole of miyagi -- there is not a single character who knows oikawa tooru and would believe that he is, in any way, bad at volleyball.

but it's not enough. despite all of that, oikawa still doesn't think he's good enough. and that, friends, brings us to the second point.

oikawa tooru is nothing if not passionate.

so were the others, of course. kageyama kept going after his grandfather's death. hinata kept going while being a nobody from nowhere with no one to back him up. atsumu kept going while osamu didn't. it's not even about just those who went pro -- kenma, kuroo, noya, and everyone else found things that they were passionate about and kept going with it. the entire story revolves around loving what you do and trying to keep that love alive, and, sometimes, that can be really, really difficult when it seems like it doesn't love you back.

oikawa was so insecure over kageyama to the point where he nearly decked the poor kid. oikawa got crushed by ushijima-- who kept telling him that his team was not good enough, that his choices were not good enough, that there was nothing good enough to be proud of -- for years in a row. oikawa was taught that there would always be someone better than him no matter how skilled he was, but if he let that stop him then he didn't fucking belong on the court in the first place.

oikawa tooru is intimately acquainted with not being good enough, but he keeps trying to be. he keeps going. he tries to keep the love alive even if he's not loved back. he pushes and practices and takes a plane far from home to become even better. even if he doesn't have the skill, even if he doesn't have the talent, even if he doesn't have the love -- he still has his pride. and what does that mean, in the end? how far does that take him?

in the end, oikawa tooru walks across a world stage and sees people who believed in him on the other side and calls it a family reunion. in the end, he gets to play the volleyball that reminds him of why he loves it and how it gives him so much love back. in the end, his pride is unyielding and unbreakable, a product of the forge. he molded it with his own two hands. he will not let it falter so easily.

arrogance would not have taken oikawa tooru this far. i hope this has proven that he is anything but.

remember: instinct is something you polish. talent is something you make bloom. and never, ever let anyone else tell you what your pride is worth.

[asirensrage]

It's tag list time!

Alright, my friends. I'm updating my tag lists! If you want on or off of it, lmk. There are no hard feelings here. (I'd rather you tell me you want off of it instead of adding to notifications that you don't want lol)

We have a couple different tag lists so just lmk which ones (or if you'd rather be added to different things because I'm sure you know by now I post many things). My masterlist is here if you want to see it. I'll try not to repeat names (ex if you're on the everything tag, you're obviously included in the others)

Everything: @raith-way @zeleniafic @veetlegeuse @chickensarentcheap @residentdormouse @far-shores @themaradwrites @kingsmakers

Only OC: @arrthurpendragon @endless-oc-creations  @stanshollaand @wordspin-shares

Only Lost Boys: @phantomenby @avengers-fixation @artaxerxesthegreat @henhouse-horrors @charlizekkelly @makepastanotwar13

Only Serendipity: @wordspin-shares

Only Billy Russo fics: @wheresthesunshinesblog

This Means War: @sxrvivc @imgonnaragnorockurshit 

Stranger Things fics: @happinessinthedarkesttimes 

Demon Slayer: @renhoeku 

Daryl Dixon fics: @murdadixon

Please let me know if you want to join, stay on or get taken off! That way I can keep things updated. (Also lmk if there's a fandom I write for that you want me to tag you in if I post for it as you can see in the sections above lol)

[eveandtheturtles]

I saw that you wanted Donnie requests and I have so many ideas! First one of my SFW ideas I want is a general headcanon of Donnie with a s/o (any pronouns are fine) who is kinda chaotic and hyper but is a sweetheart and loves hearing him infodump about his projects (even though they don’t even know what he’s talking about) Sorry if that’s a strange ask 😅💜

Fear not! I heard weirder lol (not this fandom tho, y'all guys so nice). I love chaotic characters. In fact my own oc I ship with him is chaotic lol but this isn't about her. Here I will use they/them as gender neutral option but honestly yeah can be replaced with any pronoun! @littlebeanprotector

Chaotic S/O and Infodumping Donnie

The s/o and Donnie are a match in chaotic energy. Whenever there was a crazy prank going on it was these two usually behind it but Donnie has a much calmer energy to him than them.

List of things that happened (pulling in effect the other 3 brothers + Casey and sometimes April) California Reaper Pepper challenge, the googly eyes in unexpected places prank, cling wrap Mikey and Raph challenge that got mixed with a 100 layers challenge and most importantly - crazy pizza toppings.

Now with Donnie, the s/o heard from April that he used to infodump a lot in the past but brothers generally either were escaping or (*coughRaphcough*) let him know nobody fucking knows what he is on about, which is rather discouraging so over the years Donnie learned how to "contain" himself around other people.

He's not shy it would most likely be an annoyed huff through his nose and pressing his lips together.

The s/o noticed a couple times that when certain topics are mentioned Donnie perks up and it definitely seems he wants to say something but it quickly dies down and he merely nods along with a frown.

Whenever Donnie would start Infodumping and the brothers would groan the s/o would yell "Shut up! I want to hear this you asshats!!"

Another tactic was blowing up a kazoo whenever Raph would try and interject.

It was a surprise to everyone bc whenever they were at the lair they bounced all over the place, only matching Mikey in the amount of excess energy, so they thought you also would find Donnie lecture time boring.

But no. It was surprisingly soothing.

It took a lot of poking and prodding and gentle encouragement to finally have him talk.

And boy does he talk and the things he knows! He is a walking breathing encyclopedia on certain issues.

The first time he let go the s/o sat there with open mouth. Granted a lot of it went over their head. But what was important was

Donnie's face just lit up. As he spoke he got more and more animated. His hands moving with his mouth to even bouncing on his feet. And then-

"Oh, sorry, I hope I'm not boring you..." He asked suddenly dimming down, shy.

That broke their heart a little. "No! Please keep talking I love listening to you! I love your voice and gosh you know so much!"

That helped him relax and breathe out.

They weren't lying about loving his voice. Whenever their brain would refuse to calm down but you needed to chill you'd go to Donnie to listen to him talk.

Sometimes that was how they'd fall asleep, curled up in his lap.

Now the s/o could say:

XD hope you liked that!!

Tag list!

@turtle-babe83 @madammuffins @thelaundrybitch @pheradream15 @sharpwindow @dilucsflame33

Anyone who wants in or out of it let me know. Also if you got prompts requests! I'm open!

[decaflondonfog]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers 💫

i was tagged by @nv-md (ali pls why does tumblr never let me tag you what have you done) and then sort of indirectly by @fluxweeed! as always i loved reading your thoughts and i'm v grateful you thought of me. as always, this is just me talking shite for 20 answers:

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

12 revealed, but I do have my @aftgthenandnow fic currently hiding so 13 technically

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

99,518 (which my heart was immediately keen on saying it's "not that much" but all these words were written in the last year 365-ish days, which makes me very very proud)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

i'm still on my fandom whoring phase and loving it very much!!! i think it's mostly AFTG but I’ve dabbled in some Simon Snow and Check, Please! recently and have some more plans for those 🥰 honestly there is a RIDICULOUS amount of fandoms in my fic planning trello board, including: Call of Duty, The Raven Cycle, Red White and Royal Blue, BBC Merlin, and Our Flag Means Death. i love living in chaos!!!!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

oh it's these guys: the benefits of a broken air conditioning unit and other summer lessons (aftg/andreil, 3k, E) geometric equilibrium (aftg/kandreil, 10k, M) kaleidoscope (aftg/fem!andreil, 5k, M) growing pains (omgcp/bittyparse, 50k, E) celly (aftg/gen, 800 words, T)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! Or I try to, anyway. Why? Uhhh. Because I want to, really. I'm not one of those people who feels like they have to, especially because as a commenter I don't expect writers to ever reply. But I love chatting fandom stuff and fic — mine or otherwise, so I always treat comments as an opportunity to do so. Sometimes I think I have a super random, like... reply style, I guess you'd call it? But I'd rather engage a fellow fan in genuine conversation rather than say just "thank you," which obviously is still what I end up doing like 70% of the time.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This is funny for me to think about because in former fandoms I was a bit of an Angst Guy lmao (mcd, unrequited love, cheating, miscommunication, you name it)... but I'm on a softer vibe now for sure. I think maybe a wreath of white lilies is my angstiest work but even that i wouldn't classify as angst? it's fucked up smut, if anything lmao

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Uhhhh, I guess growing pains? It's a very hopeful, very happy ending with a lot of closure for stuff happening both within the fic and before. So yeah! I think that one. Very romcom-y neat sort of happy ending!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i have in the past but not anymore! i'm not good enough nor bad enough to get hate jkfgjhd

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yeah, baby!!!! what kind...? uh. good question. i feel like i always end up writing porn with a ton of feelings — not just love/lust though! but i do love a Strong Emotion (hatred, grief, confusion, relief, obsession) to be the catalyst for fucking. I like it when characters are seriously into each other (again, not necessarily only in an attraction way), in a little insane way. it just makes things fun. so i guess... my smut is the Big Feelings kind of smut lol

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

oh i haven't... but i do have a bit of a wild one i've considered! not sure if i'd ever actually write it though, but it's planned out.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

in an earlier fandom existence, yes! it may even be around still, who knows? now... not that i know of?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i don't think i have! would love it though! i grew up bilingual so i have a lot of love for translation :') i'd actually love to try my hand at translating one day!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i have started co-writing fics with a couple of people before, but not something super serious and either times it never got finished. buuuuut i am actually in the process of co-writing not one but two fics atm! @skeptiquewrites and i are working on a zimbits flavoured little something, and @whataboutmyfries and i are very nearly done with our kandreil get-together fic, which is really exciting.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

hate this question actually LMAO i am a multishipper at heart. a good fic can convince me of ANYTHING. like my favourite ship when i stopped writing hp was two guys who weren't ever even alive at the same time so???? anything goes truly.

for the sake of nostalgia, it might still be remus/sirius, because they were my introduction to fandom and all its joys! but that fandom is kind of tainted these days >:(

hmmmm. probably zimbits actually? they invented true love, i think.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

hahaha so many!!! i have a catholic priest Neil fic that is a very fun idea but requires a ton of lore because it's so removed from canon... the kink is juicy but the laziness might be stronger. we shall see.

16. What are your writing strengths?

descriptions, baby!!!!! details!!! i want to say characterisation but i don't think that's always true... i just love thinking very deeply about the details of characterisation.. the little seemingly unimportant tidbits you can add in about a character that just tell you a ton about them without you having to spell it all out! i find that fun, even if it doesn't always work lol

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

dialogue... i hate it... i simply do not know how people talk... i don't know why they have to either LOL top ten most mortifying moments of my life was when a pal was beta reading a fic for me and said "hey there's no dialogue in this for the first like 5k at all... maybe we should do something about that" rip

i am also very bad at ensemble casts... while the weakness above is something i can't avoid, this one is a lot more avoidable but also something i am actively working on. i feel like my fics are very closed in on my MCs and their relationship but as a reader i love when the characters have meaningful interactions outside of that... so i'm trying to get better at that, even if it's really fucking hard. i'm lucky enough to have a couple of pals who are INCREDIBLE at this so i'm taking notes all the time.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

big fan!!!! i love all methods of doing this too! add it in and provide translation at the end, weave the translation into the text, make the character themselves translate it, etc. i think it's great! i think i've done it maybe a couple of times but should definitely do more...

19. First fandom you wrote for?

you already know what i'm gonna say... HP. i am of that specific generation and i'm just gonna have to live with that lol

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

hate this question hate it hate it hate itttttt do you mean favourite as in favourite final result, or favourite writing experience, or favourite prose, or favourite plot, or favourite characterisation, etc etc etc? i have a lot of love for growing pains, which i've already mentioned a couple times; and also for geometric equilibrium. for funsies, i'll say do not disturb the cats because i just love when an idea possesses me and i can't do anything else until i've written it LOL but yeah "favourite" is hard, sorry

uhhhh i've not seen this floating about a lot soooo sorry if i tag anyone who has already done it :/ but if you guys fancy doing this, i'm passing it along: @moondal514 @jaywalkers @mostlymaudlin @thetrojeans @ittyybittybaker @stabbyfoxandrew 💕 have funnnnnn

[ell-vellan]

9 Ship Songs

Rules: List nine songs for one of your ships

Was tagged by @transprincecaspian and @idolsgf which i have been super excited about but haven't had time for until now!

Like both of them, I'm gonna split this up lol. Some El/Bull that I'm sure I've posted before, and gonna debut some of my new Solavellan song inspirations for a fic I've been vaguely plotting!

@thegoblinwitchqueen @meanestmeanie @beastofmoss @thebookworm0001 and anyone else!! (if you'd like to be tagged in things, feel free to shoot me a message and i'll include you too!)

El/Bull

Island by SVRCINA

Almost so perfect The way that I want you I'm almost deserving when I get close to you I disappear Lost in the waves I go under, under I am an island You are the ocean You're so close we're touching, completely surrounded But I cannot have you the way that I want to 'Cause I am an island you are the ocean No, I cannot have you, I cannot have you without drowning 'Cause I am deserted and you are too deep I cannot love you without losing me

Flight Risk by Tommy Lefroy

I wanted to be something You couldn't put down, but, hey It's wearing me out this time I wanted to stay, I tried But you'll never leave me You'll never leave me You'll never leave me You'll never leave me If I'm already gone

DYWTYLM by Sleep Token

And there is something eating me alive, I don't know what it is Maybe not that you conceal your feelings, they just don't exist Do you ever believe That we can turn into different people? It's getting harder to be (myself) Do you wish that you loved me? Could we ever release? Is it better to just not feel? Can we hit delete? Do you wish that you loved me? And it's been so long that I'm forgetting what it feels like But I'd rather not remind myself and leave it all behind And I've tried so hard to fix it all, but nothing seems to help But I cannot hope to give you what I cannot give myself Do you wish that you loved me? (Smile back) Do you wish that you loved me? (At me) Do you wish that you loved me? Oh, whoa Do you wish that you loved me? (Please)

Never Had a Chance by Katherine Li

Why am I still here and waiting for us to happen? 'Cause you'd never want it Everything I loved about you, I probably imagined 'Cause we never had it Stupid of me to think that you could ever be mine I could blame it on the drinks But I'm so sick and tired of lying And I wish I could think of you And not have to still feel Everything you probably don't,

But I still think it's real

Atish'anera and Solas

(basically it's all just Sleep Token's newest album)

Ascensionism by Sleep Token

Well, I know what you want from me You want someone to be Your reflection, your bitter deception Setting you free So you take what you want and leave Who made you like this? Who encrypted your dark gospel in body language? Synapses snap back in blissful anguish Tell me you met me in past lives, past life Past what might be eating me from the inside, darling Half algorithm, half deity Glitches in the code or gaps in a strange dream Tell me you guessed my future and it mapped onto your fantasy Turn me into your mannequin and I'll turn you into my puppet queen

And I know what you want from me You want the same as me My redemption, eternal ascension Setting me free So I'll take what I want then leave You make me wish I could disappear, oh You make me wish I could disappear

The Apparition by Sleep Token

Why are you never real? Whenever you appear You leave me with that grace I am trembling with fear But I know that you will disappear Just as I awake Whisper in my ear Well, I believe Somewhere in the past Something was between You and I, my dear And it remains With me to this day No matter what I do This scar will never fade

Why are you never real? The shifting states you follow me through Unrevealed Just let me go or take me with you

Rain by Sleep Token

For so long, I have waited So long that I almost became Just a stoic statue, fit for nobody And I don't wanna get in your way But I finally think I can say That the vicious cycle was over The moment you smiled at me And just like the rain You cast the dust into nothing And wash out the salt from my hands So touch me again I feel my shadow dissolving Will you cleanse me with pleasure?

I'm coiled up like the venomous serpent Tangled in your trance and I'm certain You have got your hooks in me I know, I know, the way that it goes You get what you give, you reap what you sow And I can see you in my fate And I know, I know, I am what I am The mouth of the wolf, the eyes of the lamb

Take Me Back to Eden by Sleep Token

I guess it goes to show, does it not? That we've no idea what we've got until we lose it And no amount of love will keep it around If we don't choose it And I don't know what's got its teeth in me But I'm about to bite back in anger No amount of self-sought fury Will bring back the glory of innocence My, my, those eyes like fire I'm a winged insect, you're a funeral pyre Come now, bite through these wires I'm a waking hell and the gods grow tired Reset my patient violence along both lines of a pathway higher Grow back your sharpest teeth, you know my desire I have traveled far beyond the path of reason Take me back to Eden

Euclid by Sleep Token

Just run it back, give me five whole minutes I am thick tar on the inside burning I've got a ghost in the hallway grinning And a heavy head that won't stop turning If my fate is a bad collision And if my mind is an open highway Give me the twilight two-way vision Give me one last ride on a sunset sky lane

I play along with the life signs anyway But hope to God you don't know this feeling Yet in reverse, you are all my symmetry A parallel I would lay my life on So if your wings won't find you Heaven I will bring it down like an ancient bygone

Do you remember me When the rain gathers? And do you still believe That nothing else matters? For me It's still the autumn leaves These ancient canopies That we used to lay beneath No, by now The night belongs to you This bough has broken through I must be someone new

In turning divine And we tangle endlessly Like lovers entwined I know for the last time You will not be mine So give me the night, the night, the night