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#please read at least some of it lol
marblerose-rue · 22 days
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new lioden king except ive had him for a couple weeks :-)
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ultimaratiovaccinium · 5 months
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Sweets (1/?)
The snugness was barely tolerable. She had overestimated herself. She looked surreptitiously over her shoulder and ducked around a corner. The only thing following her were her bad decisions, but she felt chased all the same.
Okay. Calm down. Breathe (but not too deep). Evaluate the situation. What are your options? Can you loosen anything?
She looked down at herself. Past her swollen breasts, past a fluffy roll of upper belly, she examined her waistline. Nope. The button was the only thing keeping the zipper together, and vice versa. For the millionth time, she lamented her morning. What a bright idea, interviewing for a job with a snack company. She was very well aware of how sweets affected her.
Could she find somewhere discrete to wait out her... little metabolic mishap? She looked around for a discrete nook to accommodate her fresh bulk.
The little atrium she had found had a series of plush benches around the walls. She sighed and headed for the one in the corner. She sucked in as best she could and sat down. Some horny little corner of her mind made note of how it felt as her tight belly shifted against her puffy thighs.
Sitting like this, only barely upright lest bending too far compromise her jeans, she couldn't ignore how her waistband was trying to cut her in half. She thought back to how she had done this to herself. The lovely HR manager had very explicitly pointed out the basket of the company's sugary offerings there in the middle of interview table. The woman had been insistent that she try at least one of each, gushing like any good salesperson about their rich flavors and subtle textures, occasionally even peeling one out of its wrapper and handing it to her.
How could she have done anything but eat what was offered to her? And by a beautiful woman, no less. She knew how her body reacted to food like this, but she had been desperate to make a good impression, to look good and eager and employable. A good girl. She ignored that last thought, and the accompanying shiver through her frazzled tummy.
She closed her eyes and tried to steady herself. Breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth (but not too deeply). All she had to do was calm down, and give her body a chance to do the same. Then she could find a back door to sneak out of, go home and hope that somehow that she hadn't blown the interview.
She opened her eyes again and caught sight of herself in a mirror across the room. Holy crap, she was huge. She had been her normal, narrow self, and her outfit had fit very very normally, when she had arrived. But now? Now it looked positively painted onto her. Her breasts were trying to spill out of her tastefully exposed bra and over the lapel of her blouse. She was more balloon than woman at this point. She ignored another tingle.
As she watched herself in the mirror, she noticed something change. Slowly but surely, the last wrinkle in her blouse smoothed out. Uh oh. That meant... she was still filling out. Panic. She tingled again.
No. No. Calm. Breathe (but not too deep). She closed her eyes again, and could feel her plump body quietly grow. Crap.
Panic. Calm. Breathe (but not too deep). Calm.
Maybe if she didn't look, it would go away. That had never worked before, sure, but there's a first time for everything, right?
As she rationalized to herself, she noticed the sound of heels clacking towards her hiding spot. Panic!
Maybe their owner would pass and not notice her?
No such luck.
The woman who had interviewed her rounded the corner.
"There you are!"
She struggled to stand. So tight.
"You left your purse upstairs. I get it, though. Interviews can be pretty stressful, huh?"
Like nothing had changed. Did this woman not notice that she was currently three times the size she was when she had shown up? Could this woman not hear every seam in her clothes creaking in harmony? Could the woman not see how wide and deep and round she was becoming?
"It's such a beautiful handbag, I almost wanted to keep it for myself!" The woman laughed. "Oh well."
She took the bag from the woman. "O-oh! Thank you!" Leapt out of her.
"Listen," said the woman, "technically I have to review a few other candidates, but I think you're a shoo-in for the position." The woman moved closer. "No one else has shown so much... enthusiasm." Closer still. She basked in the smell of the woman's musky perfume.
"Oh... that's great!" she managed to squeak out.
"In fact," the woman continued, "if you'd like to come back upstairs, we can have you fill out the onboarding paperwork now, so you don't have to come back just to fill out some forms if... when we give you the job." So close now.
"Um! Okay!" What.
The woman placed a gentle hand on the side of her massive, tight, growing belly. "Listen, between you and me, that passion you showed today will take you far with us. Do you feel like the offer is fair? We can negotiate further if you need." The woman's eyes were so sincere.
What was going on here? She could barely think.
The woman placed her other hand on top of her belly, well hidden by her burgeoning breasts. "I do hope you'll say yes."
"Um..."
There was a pop. Her button pinged away across the room from her overburdened jeans. It made a little thwack sound as it hit the far wall. Her zipper flew down, zizzing audibly. Her belly erupted through the breach. Her blouse retreated upwards. The tingling became a roar. All the while, the woman, as though no tectonic shifts were happening right there and then, continued to implore with borderline puppydog eyes.
The world held its breath with her. How had this woman not reacted to any of that?! What? Was the woman still waiting for an answer?
"...okay?" She tried. She wasn't sure if her brain was still working. "Sure?" Best to stick to small sentences.
"Yay!" cheered the woman, "I really think you'll love it here!" The woman launched in for a quick hug around her exposed belly. The woman's arms didn't go even halfway around her. And still the woman didn't seem to notice that anything was wrong.
"Well! If you'll follow me back to the elevators, we can at least get the formalities out of the way."
The woman took her by the hand and pulled, still gentle. She followed, mutely. Even the horniest, shamiest corners of her mind were silent, waiting with bated breath.
As they reached the elevators, the woman pushed the up button and stood to the side. "Please," said the woman, "after you!"
On autopilot now, she stepped into the elevator and... wedged into the door. Stuck. What. Panic? Calm? The elevator dinged again as if to say "I'm waiting!"
The cold of the elevator doors brought her back to reality. She put a hand on either side of herself and tried to pull herself in. As though this were somehow normal, the woman chirped "Oh, here, let me help!"
She felt a gentle pair of hands press into her oceanic bottom. Her horny brain thrilled again. She clamped down on those thoughts. No time to be a pervert.
Between the two of them, they muscled her into the elevator. She turned to face the doors in time to watch the woman press into her in order to let the doors close. Normally equipped for eight full-sized human adults, due to her immensity, it very barely fit two.
"We need floor thirty," said the woman into her barely contained cleavage. She tried to reach for the panel of buttons, but by now there was simply too much of her in the way.
"I've got it," said the woman, reaching behind her without looking.
They rode the thirty floors quietly. She could feel herself still widening, pressing towards the walls of the elevator car. Her embarrassment had burnt out, leaving only a kind of stunned peace in her mind. She tried to will her body away from the woman, but where else could it really go?
By the time they reached their destination, the woman was firmly pressed against the doors, still showing no indication of the extra-ordinariness of the situation.
As the doors opened, the woman stepped back, grabbed her hands, and pulled as she tried to wiggle through the door. Eventually she floomped through, and they set off toward the HR suite.
Full-on waddling now, she felt an inner tension release. She had stopped growing. Relief. If nothing else, at least things had stopped getting worse. Sure, she was almost round enough to roll. Tingle. Sure, her clothing had been reduced to barely covering her... rude areas. Tingle. Sure, a beautiful woman was acting as though this was all perfectly normal. Tingle tingle tingle. But hey, at least it finally wasn't getting worse.
The woman pushed open the double doors to the HR suite and welcomed her in with another glittering smile. They seemed to be the only ones there. The woman led her, patiently, to the front desk area. The woman ducked behind the desk, looking for something.
"Hmm, it looks like I'll need to go print off more some more copies of the forms. Shouldn't take more than a minute or two." Finally she'd have a moment to collect herself.
Then the woman produced a basket, laden with various goodies, from underneath the desk. "Here! Help yourself, sorry to make you wait." Uh.
"Oh, here, allow me," said the woman, picking out a chocolate confection, peeling it, and pressing it into her mouth. "I'll be right back!"
She chewed and swallowed the treat.
Uh oh.
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todayisafridaynight · 2 months
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THIS IS GONNA SOUND SO MEAN BUT WHY DO U LIKE RYO AOKI/MASATO
masato hot
#snap chats#just like me... heh ... my ac has been broken all month im melting for the love of god send an iceberg im begging you#him turning into aoki is incredibly funny to me like jesus christ. what a lack of self love does to a mfer#but anyway 1.) please do not yell i scare easy 2.) meaner has been said its ok 3.) very reasonable to ask why anyone would like aoki#and 4.) to be Cereal he's inch resting to me. also his speech to ichi at the end hit a lil close and i was reminded of high school#5.) i really like his eng dub voice sorry im american. BUT HIS JP VOICE IS EXCELLENT TOO IM JUST SAYIN#rgg doesnt give an Exact on his disability so looking into lung diseases/conditions has also been interesting#esp post-lung surgery cases and care too so i thank rgg for the opportunity to do some reading#i also do In General just like cases of someone wanting to be loved and changing drastically to get it only to still be unhappy#granted. he sucks so LMAO can only have so much sympathy but it's still interesting to watch#the arakawas is also a part of why i like him because they all work as a big machine. if that makes sense#like the arakawas in general are such an interesting bundle i love all of them a lot because of what they mean to each other#in the case of aoki none of them mean anything to him at most resenting arakawa and despising ichi#meanwhile sawashiro's just. There LOL im so sorry king thats the truth of it all ... i love you tho ...#oh but back to aoki. i also really like politican characters- or at least characters who can have a 'public' persona#its fun thinking about what they have to do mentally to present themselves in public versus when they can 'be themselves'#like aoki's 'intro' scene where he's pleasant to his secretary and then a second later is conniving with ogasawara... peak i fear#OR THEEEE CAR PARK ONE i love that scene so much ...#very fun.. aoki being a politician just makes it infinitely funnier like guys we gotta bully the governor#plus i live and breathe by a glass analysis/comparison a twitter mutual of mine did ... i love glass imagery .......#uhhhh is that all ... idk prob im literally sweating my skin off i cant think right. my clothes are sticking to my skin i hate summer#i dont hate summer im so sorry i didnt mean it .... summer is beautiful .. i just wish this heat wasnt murdering me
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wonder-worker · 1 year
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Thomas Penn writes about 500 year old dead historical figures like they're celebrities in a gossip column
#it's funny to an extent but after a point it gets very grating#he has a wealth of information but he's far too sensationalistic and florid#and tends to choose the most unsympathetic and/or colorful interpretation of every situation and historical figure#he also has a habit of ... narrativizing history which doesn't really work for me#also his fatphobia re Edward IV was absolutely revolting#I was planning on ordering the Winter King but after looking at the synopsis and first 2 chapters that were available online - no thanks#I'm definitely not interested in reading about Henry VII supposedly being 'sinister' and 'Machiavellian' because he...ruled successfully?#because he did what kings (unfortunately) did all the time? How was he any different from the others?#also imagine calling *Henry VII* ruthless & unscrupulous when his predecessor murdered his own kid-nephews and his successor was Henry VIII#like please be serious#I had the same issue with the way he described Edward IV's reign. His descriptions were so theatrical and emphatic but#at the end of the day the things he was describing were very normal lol#or they would be normal if Penn didn't choose the most critical (and mocking tbh) perspective for every single thing#the way he described Henry VI's reign was also annoying but it thankfully had far less pagetime and was not the focus of his work#so it was comparatively more tolerable#i'm glad that he acknowledged the propaganda against Margaret tho. I didn't like how he described her but at the very least he acknowledged#that she was being slandered#also calling Warwick 'the regime's biggest headache' lmfao#and ig some of his analyses on Richard III were interesting. It helps that R3 had a very short and very dramatic reign from start to finish#so Penn's flourishing tone doesn't really feel out of place for it
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anophelei · 11 months
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The people unashamedly trying to take advantage of the thousands of innocent Palestinian people murdered in Israeli war crimes, twisting the knife in the back of Palestine for an opportunity to remind you that you still have to vote for Joe Biden, undoubtedly counting among the people with the most blood on their hands, have already made it clear they do not care about anyone but themselves, and have gone out of their way to prove it.
Somehow they've managed to sink even lower, and are genuinely, in all earnesty, justifying their continued support for Biden in the wake of him pledging his unconditional support of genocide, with the exact same fucking line they used almost 3 fucking years ago to pressure people into voting him into power in the first place. It was already obvious they had no intention of "Pushing Biden to the Left", that they didn't give a single shit about any of the people they were so ardently claiming to be protecting from Trump, and that they would go to the ends of the earth to justify anything and everything he could possibly do.
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And now that he's chomping at the bit about aiding and abetting Israel in raining down hell and phosphorous and napalm on innocent people, now that thousands of people have lost their loved ones to such irreverent cruelty, they've decided it's time for an important reminder; Genocide doesn't change anything, and not only do you have to get out and vote for someone complicit in every single atrocity, every single casualty, you have to do it for the same pathetic excuse we made last time, "because we can push Biden to the "left"", even though there hasn't been a single shred of progress, or even any attempt to do so in the three years since we said this last time. You could say that participation in actual, ongoing genocide, is a catastrophic failure in that metric; that we might as well have been pulling this whole fucking time; and right this very moment is the most unbelievably selfish, entitled, petulant and self interested, and abhorrent, manipulative, cruel, spiteful, bitter and fucking disgusting time anyone could have possibly chosen to say this, when people are entirely cut off from their loved ones with no way to know if they are okay, it's important to remember that you're the bad person here due to your belief that supporting genocide in any capacity is an unforgivable crime. The real crime is NOT voting in support of genocide, when the other option is Literal Fascists !!
I'm not even fucking joking, this entire thing started because this piece of shit thought a Palestinian calling people out for supporting Biden was akin to "thinking the entirety of one side is bad", which due to a complex reasoning and nuanced understanding of "this conflict", he was able to realise that was far too simplistic, and now enlightened, knew that attacking enemy toddlers was wrong. So too did he share his nuanced and complex understanding with OP, since they were understanding things too simplistically. "American politics is not that simple either"
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Just like killing babies is wrong even if they're on the enemy team, American politics is not as simple as you thinking I am disgusting and selfish for supporting genocide. #nuance
#genocide#Gaza#Palestine#joe biden#free palestine#biden thinks people will cool down come electon. biden supporters think people are stupid enough that they're just going to forget what#“we can push him to the left AFTER the election is over” looked like#it looks like genocide. it sounds like bombs you can hear from 80km away. it smells like pulverised concrete and blood.#it tastes like it smells made worse by parched throats and thirst.#i cannot even begin to imagine what it must feel like.#if you for some reason read the whole mess and are sus about the “biden may not be a fascist” etc it's half just saying that and half for#ambiguity being useful rhetorically. of course they were too oblivious to anything I'd said that they didn't even realise i hadnt said it#idk what i would categorise biden as though. the müller comparison is apt to some extent at least.#also please let me know if any of the phrasing is inappropriate ? I don't really know to what capacity “martyred” n “martyrs” are used#and idk how to use them appropriately therefore didn't use them. the same goes for anything else and i apologise for my ignorance of#Palestinian culture and language and ... in general. it's#unfortunate but I only know the occupation - the Resistance - and their histories - as things I know well. I will do my best to fix that#but for now if I may ask for your help with letting me know. Feel like a yt person for having to ask lol.#from the river to the sea palestine will be free
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kaus-quietis · 1 year
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A Circus Library - quick recommendations of short stories, poems, comics and novels I've recently read #1
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Hello there! I'm the circus resident poltergeist, Eliott, managing this blog until Lav comes back. Today I offer you a slightly different formula of my super awesome super rare super bookclub post, as Lav would say!
Hello hello hello! Is this a bookclub?! Is this chaotic ramble?! Ding ding! You got it wrong!
Writing full on reviews is tiedous and long, and while I appreciate doing it, I'm myself not always in the mood to read a long post explaining why a book is genius. Do I love that from time to time? Yes! Do I have the attention span to write one now? Nope! However, I still wanted to share some titles I recently (re)discovered, and that I think are marvellous reads for anyone wanting to dive into something new.
Here you'll find a few recommendations with the shortest of words to tell you why they are great, or just scream about it.
short disclaimer before I begin because this is tumblr and while I forgot a lot about this website, I remember how the TW thing works lol, it's at your own discretion to search for the works beforehand if you have any trigger you don't want to encounter.
Jack Spicer - Billy the kid
The master of my fate, captain of my soul as Timothée Chalamet would say idk I barely know the guy. Classic and gold, Spicer is an amazing writer and this poem is phenomenal. It's quite short and perfect if you want to know more about the wonder that was US American poetry during the 20th century. Of course I'd encourage you to read all of his works, but Billy the Kid is perfect to start somewhere.
Ryunosuke Akutagawa - Hell Screen
Classic and iconic, I've recently pushed further than Rashomon and boy oh boy am I never turning back. Hell Screen is a phenomenal short story displaying all the elegance and cruelty Akutagawa can incorporate in his works. It's mesmerizing, it aches, it's everything I love. I read this story in Jay Rubin's translation (Penguin Classics), and even though I do not speak Japanese so I cannot compare, I dare say it's a very good one.
Lucie Bryon, Thieves
I never recommended comic books before but I wanted to for a change! I am a huge comic book lover, but most of the ones I usually read are not available in english language. This one is, though. Thieves is a beautiful comic about growth, falling in love and finding acceptance in others and in yourself. It's light and heartwarming, like eating candy.
Ottessa Moshfegh, Lapvona
Now, this book exploits one of my biggest plot weaknesses ever, and that is fucked up people in medieval settings. Lapvona tells the story of Marek, a sheperd's son, who'll be caught in a series of unfortunate events, political struggles, and secrets, all inside the town of Lapvona. It's dark and unsettling, the characters are scandalous and horrible, yet sickeningly human. Now, I said to check the TW yourselves, but be very careful with this one, if you can think of a TW, then it's certainly in this book.
Osamu Dazai, Early Light
In the Storybook ND series, this book contains three short stories : Early Light, Three Hundred Views of Mount Fuji, and Villon’s Wife. I'd recommend the three of them, as it's a fantastic dive into Dazai's shorter works. I think that reading his short stories is very important to understand his work and the width of the subjects and stories he wrote about. It helps that once again, in my opinion, the translation chosen by this publishing house is so good.
This is it for today! Here you have five of the works I read (or re-read) this summer, and that I'd warmly recommend. There are two short stories (Dazai, Akutagawa), a comic book (Bryon), a novel (Moshfegh) and a poem (Spicer). 'Till next time!
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x-rds · 2 months
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Sometimes it’s very annoying having friends whose two points of knowledge reference growing up were 1. rural Ohio and 2. Online discourse, because while I try to give them the benefit of the doubt they sure do say bigoted shit and try to justify it with extremely online activist language or sleeper radfem rhetoric or just like so very not thought out
Like ohh you hate 99% of men and think they are all untrustworthy and violent? Ok so real quick can you tell your reasoning to a) the multiple trans men literally in the group chat with you and b) literally any man who is not white who I know you did not conceptualize when making this comment because you have very little exposure to them in your life. Idk I just get really annoyed like girl. You have no concept of intersectionality and it kinda pisses me off sometimes
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p2iimon · 4 months
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drawing more furry fnaf art. yknow just to keep you posted. i love posting in the tags sorry these ones got away from me
#sammy is a brown bear (like freddy). his mom is white like funtime freddy#then crying child is blue (like bon bon. and to go with lizzies bonnet pink) (theyre not twins in my au but they definitely act like it. so#its like cute.) mrs. afton is blue violet (rockstar bonnie) bc i was running out of colors. i had already assigned her blue anyway.#max is black bc i seriously ran out of rabbit colors. or! no wait shadow bonnie. thats totally the inspo and not i had made his ears black#already. i think thats literally every rabbit color available. the afton family is pretty big. ig vanny. who would go with vanessa. obvi bu#shes not in my au. or at least not an afton. and therefore not a rabbit. if she was though shed be white.#and if you havent seen any previously drawn ones henry and william are yellow (obviously. they already have fursonas. theyre the reason#everyone else gets one. LOL) micheals purple like classic bonnie (who... is purple even if it was then retconned. hes purple. look at#withered bonnie. i hate ppl who say its just lighting. thats a lie by big blue bonnie. he was literally purple and then he changed his mind#like i said lizzie is pink like bonnet. and then charlie is black like lefty. because duhh.#DONT ask me about how this shit works okay. the rabbit dated the rabbit and the bear dated the bear. bc thats what happened. theres not#here. the bears got divorced. and the rabbits. the yellow rabbit and bear are fucking#no um. i like willry but i think if they were really fucking. i just think things would go differently. henry's gay in my au i dont think i#he actually had a man to fuck he'd manage to have children. its not who he is to me. will is bi but he obv thinks henry is some exception t#him being perfectly normal and straight. everyone wants to fuck their business partner. otherwise youd do it yourself#ig they can fuck after. i hate when people do these boring aus where henry and william never get married and william isnt a murderer and so#like what? theres nothing? just a couple of guys? if im looking for fics where theyre fucking im not looking for a fic where everything is#nice and clean. be serious. can we at least have some angst about it being the 70s or are you too much of a bitch for that too#anyway.....#simons spouting#simons fnaf au#OH also if anyone reads this whats the stance on this stupid idea i have where sammy pretends he has a thing for michael to annoy max. bc.#their parents had a thing for eachother. and sammy and max have a more familial relationship. and michael and charlie have a familial#relationship. but michael and sammy have barely met and do not at all. is it pushing it? i was thinking yknow from sammys perspective that'#'his sons' dad but! like you can fuck your sons dad. that's not weird. unless thats the way youre phrasing it i guess LOL. but i guess#michael would be like. thats 'my sisters' brother. and that is not someone you fuck*. BUT this isnt michaels perspective its sammy being#annoying. and from sammys perspective that is NOT his sister and there for NOT his sisters brother. *also im pretty sure this is subjective#if youre just friends. yknow. the ethics of sammy using this to bother max is not on the table because i think he deserves to be a#a bit of an ass. anyway LMAOO fkdglfg. let me know if youd like ive got anon asks on. please dont judge me for not knowing this.
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gayabeilles · 2 months
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too much manic energy rn. put on don angle
#this cd is wild it’s like. duke ellington. the beatles. the most beautiful melancholic drag you ever heard. original composition. beatles.#did I hunt this down because I fell head over heels in love with minor drag? mayhaps.#hey remember that post I went off in the tags in a few days ago being like I GOTTA WRITE THE PAH SECTION AAAAAA#so it turns out I’ve been procrastinating on that#made a nice plot and read a bunch of stuff in the meantime but oh hey I still gotta write this section#maybe frenetic harpsichord will help me focus#I don’t want to work on my thesis I want to write school of the air scripts and make little trinkets#why is it so difficult to work on the things I actually Need to do ;A;#also?????? people (or one person at least) is demonstrably excited about the Ptáček rp????????#why is my reaction to being perceived to be simultaneously excited and embarrassed this is stupid lmao just be excited it’s allowed#(points at self) say hi in the discord!!!!! tell them you’re pleased they like it!!!!!!!! be normal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#idk idk my ears feel warm just thinking about this that’s so dumb lol why am I having a physiological reaction to this#also still losing my mind from Box!!!!! this was so nice I’m gonna cry omg#should see if I have any sheet metal hmmmm#cannot make anything requiring soldering or casting but I can still do some things…….#okay okay I gotta get back to writing I’m meeting with my advisor at 4 aaaaaa#using music and manic energy and methylphenidates to get this section done 🥲#putting those in my acknowledgements btw
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lolottes-pad · 4 months
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if i think hard enough then perhaps i can manifest my comfort character and get him to Kill my mother
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artemismatchalatte · 2 years
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Wow. Sometimes I'm very lucky and my bipolar doesn't always affect me much. But no such luck lately. I'm worried that I might have to retake my modern lit course because I was so late with many of my assignments. I've been mentally messed up more or less with a mixed mood episode since last September. I'm currently on the line of passing and not passing the class (granted there are a few ungraded assignments, including my final so it's still possible that I'm overreacting). I'm usually a good student too so it's a point of pride for me. I went from the honor roll to this all due to me fighting with an illness... :/ (It is my fault for not managing things better so I'm not looking for pity here- just talking).
I cannot imagine how horrible this disorder is for people who didn't have the option of medication (I am medicated, believe it or not). I think about that about that a lot since I study history and look into many writer's and artist's biographies in my spare time. I feel very bad for them since they basically had to live with this disorder without the fixes I have simply because I was born late enough for treatments to exist.
Virginia Woolf and Sylvia Plath both haunt me. Other people too. Yes, Lord Byron was extremely shocking but consider- we don't actually know what he would have been like if he could have been treated. He wouldn't have died at 36, I'm almost certain of that. I am highly aware of what this disorder has done to people before me. It doesn't make it better. But I keep looking back any way, to see that many of them did incredible things, in spite of it all.
I just keep thinking that if they could do so much without any treatment- that I should be able to function with treatment??? I know: don't compare yourself to other people but I'm desperate to know that I can be successful even with this illness. That it's not going to force me to leave school (the one thing I have been historically good at) and waste my life toiling away for nothing.
So if it seems as if I have been hitting my head against something lately, you aren't wrong. The fall is not generally my friend, pretty as the leaves are. I have not been having a good time of it but we must go on any way because what other option is there? None, I tell you.
#leaves pretty brain shitty has been my fall for the last few years since 2018 at least...#consistently fall has been bad for my cycle though I like that time of year normally#granted a lot of things kept happening every fall since 2018 too#bipolar disorder#actually bipolar#I probably am a closet perfectionist in some cases#I am exhausted thanks for asking!#and yes for a few semesters I was an honor roll student in my grad school- not any more though LOL#seriously I'm going into debt for this degree and uh that promise to waive our debt never came to light so I'm very fucked rn#I have to finish this degree so I can work off my debt and build a good reputation for myself#I'm honestly afraid my illness might take away my ability to have a career at all; I'm desperate for a living wage!#it's not good#but this could be anxiety talking tbh#for real I'm amazed that like Virginia Woolf and others were able to do as much as they did in their lives#because without my medication I'd probably be useless??? Mania is not fun 10/10 would NOT suggest#I actually pity Lord Byron after reading his biography; he just seems like if mania was a person and um it explains his behavior completely#do you ever look back at other peoples' lives and see pieces of yourself in them and then feel really bad for them? cuz I do all the time#mychatter#I'm stubborn in that I refuse to quit school since I am aware that my family needs to know I can do this#please don't take this personally this is my problem and a pointless rant probably
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holysaintscathedral · 2 years
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It seems that quite a few people don't realize that Catholic priests do, in fact, wear pants and a shirt underneath their cassocks.
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hua-fei-hua · 1 year
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*flopped down on a couch w/a glass bottle of apple juice to make it look like i'm drinking beer*
yeah... yeah i'm fine.... just coming to terms w/the fact that i must use javascript in order to achieve my vision w/the neocities...
#the main reason i haven't just abandoned this particular aspect of the Vision(tm) is bc it would be useful for like.#more than one thing. so it's like. le sigh.#(reading the documentation for tippy tooltips tonight so that i can sleep on it n try to implement it tmrw or something)#why is it always js.... please god spare me at least a Little bit of suffering here i'll never sin again etc etc#speaking of sin i've started speaking more candidly abt my queerness w/the kids at work this week#it's nice to talk to the older kids (as in fifth grade or older) bc even tho like. nine years old is when they start to be tolerable#they lack awareness n life experience. today i told the older kids that i like men but in a gay way#n one of them was like 'i don't get it' n then i reminded her of Gender:tm: n she was like 'ohhhh i get it'#n the two guys also listening were like 'what. i still don't get it.' ONE OF THEM ASKED ME IF I WAS AMAB ACTUALLY LOL#n i was like 'what? that's not important.' but that was really surprising! kids usually read me as female#so it was kind of flattering in a way to be asked 'were you born a boy?' like idk how he's trying to process my gender#but i'm going to flatter myself into thinking the question comes from him like. idk clocking some kind of innate masculinity or w/e idk#花話#anyway it's Crazy that it took me almost a year to not feel like i'd get instantly fired for telling kids i'm queer#Not going to lie it really felt like i'd never get to this point but it really is kinda just once you start it gets easier#(though to be fair i also wouldn't have told Any of the kids Anything had one of them not started acting like 'gays' was a dirty word)#(n i just Looked at him n said 'you know i'm a queer right?' n he was like 'O_O')#when i worked at homophobic summer camp i do remember daydreaming abt telling my boss i was a 'flaming queer'#i'd have put my feet up on her desk n everything as i made direct eye contact w/her but ofc i never did anything like that.#anyway! i will slep now so that i can get back to work on my projects tmrw morning
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Fandom things I'm looking forward to:
Kingdom Hearts IV and Missing Link
Final Fantasy VII Rebirth
Final Fantasy IX Remake
Final Fantasy Tactics Remaster or Remake (whichever it is. I've heard both things)
The fourth Madoka Magica movie, whenever that comes out (seriously. Where is it? First it was announced as the Concept movie. Then it was re-announced years later with a new name, and it's still missing)
The Percy Jackson TV show
The Infernal Devices TV show
Maybe the Twilight TV show. Maybe.
The animated Smallville continuation that Tom Welling and Michael Rosenbaum are working on, whenever it comes out
I was going to put Baron and Toluca on this list (that's, like, a spiritual successor to the OG "Roswell" TV show. Majandra Delfino who played Maria in the show wrote the script, and she and Brendan Fehr who played Michael star in it. They're also planning for more Roswell cameos in later episodes), but it came out and I didn't even know it? But I have no idea how to watch it, though, as I guess it only came out in theaters in Albuquerque. Here's hoping it comes out on DVD or something...
The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes
The alleged Firefly reboot
The new Daredevil show
The Batman Part II
The next part in Tom Holland's Spider-Man movies
The DCU, starting with Superman Legacy in 2025
The Five Nights at Freddy's movie and Help Wanted 2
The Iron Lung movie
The TV show that it sounds like Markiplier will be working on after he's done with the Iron Lung movie
The next Bendy and the Ink Machine thing being worked on
MAYBE the Hello Neighbor sequel. I know. I KNOW! (It's really only because the second game had to end on a cliffhanger.)
Five Nights at Candy's 4
Frozen III
Disney's "Wish"
The next and final season of the Clear Card arc of Cardcaptor Sakura
The new Avatar series (the one about the third Avatar in the cycle: the Earth bender)
The live-action Avatar: The Last Airbender series, perhaps
The Chosen season 4
#As for things that haven't been announced#Ffxvi when that of course happens#The ffx remake if that rumor is true#I'm still hoping we'll get one more season of full metal panic to finish off the show. Please don't end things on a cliffhanger!#And no matter what I'll forever and always be pulling for a twewy3. Please give it to us Square. Pretty Please? With sugar on top?#I also still (mostly? Kind of?) wish we had a new Buffy show to look forward to. but alas. maybe someday#also after khiv nomura's all but confirmed that next is a verum Rex. And I'm. Like. Already pre-excited for that if that makes sense. Lol#And I don't know how to feel about the new death note movie adaptation I want to have faith in the Russo brothers but mostly I'm afraid#And I just- I LOVE death note. You all KNOW I love death note. But I just don't know what can be done with the story that hasn't already#been done#Unless you just completely change it and then piss off all of us fans. Again#I said it once and I'll say it again: i wish they were making a code grass movie instead (which has the beats they're looking to adapt in#death note. but other stuff too. and has never gotten a live-action adaptation so at least if nothing else it would be original)#there's also a part of me that wants to get caught up on winx club and see if this new season (that's maybe a soft reboot? but don't quote#me on that) will be better than some of the last ones and start getting the series in the direction in needs to be going again. hopefully#and isn't there some new pokémon season coming out where brock and misty reunite with ash (i read an article about it) which confuses me#because i thought the show ended?#unless the article was just talking about an english dub of the season that already aired in japan or something like that#i also should really get caught up on all of the sailor moon crystal stuff. shame on me for not being so!#somewhat. kind of. the next garten of banban game. God help me#kindergarten 3 if there ever is one#slayers: a buffyverse story would have been on here if they hadn't announced it after i made this list and if i'd remembered to come back#and add it. but i listened to it and loved it:)
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i think part of the reason i'm not vibing with this book (reading) is that we're like 150 pages in and these kids haven't done anything?? like sure we've rocketed around a bunch of UnLondon but they've been along for the ride this whole time. and i THINK that's about to change but. 150 pages is a long time for what's nominally a kids book...
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gottagobuycheese · 2 years
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WIP Game
Tagged into the accountability relay race by @theaggresivepacifist — thanks a mil! Also please know that I am making the biggest bug eyes at your previews 
Rules: In a new post, show the last line snippet(s) you wrote and tag as many people as there are words as you want geez I’d never be able to tag that many people
Well, I haven’t written anything consistent in a while, and the most recent thing is still secret unfortunately, BUT I do have a couple things to share that will hopefully at some point make it out into the world beyond my drafts:
Snippet #1 a.k.a. You Want To Watch Nobody Knows, You Want To Watch Nobody Knows Soooooo Bad
Each knock on the door made her heart spasm against her sternum, faster and faster until the nauseating tide of dread in her chest threatened to choke her.
There was an officer outside her door. She was sure of it. Things had been too good for her lately, so it was only a matter of time before the universe had to course-correct. So-yeon only ever brought misfortune upon the people she loved, after all.
She stumbled toward the door in a daze.
This was it. This was the end. This officer was going to tell her — they were going to tell her —
She opened the door.
Snippet #2 a.k.a. The Jung Sibling Cinematic Universe ft. Han Sooyoung’s Confessional Booth
“Sorry,” she says, after nothing happens for another minute, “where did I leave off?” 
“You were walking from Chungmuro and chatting about things.” There’s an odd catch in Sooyoung’s voice when she mentions the station, but Heewon doesn’t dwell on it. She’s too busy staring at the boy in the bed, who would be staring right back at her if only he would open his eyes. 
“Siblings,” she says quietly, staring at Kim Dokja’s sleeping face. “We were talking about siblings.”
Snippet #3 a.k.a. YOU WANT TO READ ORV, YOU WANT TO READ ORV SOOOOOO BAD
In the back of his mind, a conversation he’d had with her years ago plays in a loop, about rereading and finding something new. That the story you read the first time isn’t the only story there is. He looks at his mother now, at her hand holding his arm, feels the uneven tremble of her fingers as they try to decide between holding on and letting go, and notices, for the first time, that the thought at the front of his mind isn’t all the ways she had hurt him. 
It dawns on him slowly, then all at once. 
Maybe that’s what this feeling is.  He wonders if it’s been there since before he’d woken up. 
“Eomma,” he says, the rusty syllables clunky on his tongue, “why don’t you come back inside?” 
It’s been so long since I’ve gotten to look at my dashboard or even be online consistently on any platform, so I don’t know who is still actively writing right now, THEREFORE I apologise and please feel free to just consider this a friendly no-pressure hello. Of course, if you are working on something you are allowed to share, I would love to see it! @imperiousphasmid​, @fremulon​, @darkpurpledawn​, @diminished-fish, @internetkatze, @directorofthefalselastact​, @demonlikejudgeoffire
And if I didn’t tag you but you want to join in on the sharing please do! Tag me so I can see it! Wait for no one! 2023 is the year of grabbing your desires by the horns and making them happen without waiting for permission!!
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