#please tell me Thomas is actually in this season enough omg

[fckedupnerd]

My comfort dead people 🥰

[normadeathmond]

the spanish princess ep 2 thoughts

I’ve been enjoying all the reaction posts so here’s mine (spoilers included):

- I’ve had kind of a revelation this week regarding The Spanish Princess. This show is basically the modern day version of those dubiously accurate medieval historical chronicles.  Not only do we have extra supernatural elements (the cuuuuurse, prophetic dreams), but we also have the contemporary authors’ personal biases inserted all over the place, and the addition of mythical stories about the heroes (Catherine fighting at Flodden this week). For some reason, this has made me a lot more forgiving towards the show. (it probably also helps that my fave Maggie B is dead now, so I don’t have to worry about them shitting all over her anymore, and I don’t have a particularly strong attachment to any of the other historical figures depicted)

- erm wtf, did anyone else catch that scene with Maggie and Edmund de la Pole in the previously on that we’ve never seen before?? I guess this plotline was supposed to be included in episode one as well, which probably would’ve helped it feel a bit more developed and less like something they suddenly remembered had to be tied up from last year. The whole sequence of Edmund being reintroduced and killed off in less than five minutes was very rushed.

- I’m glad baby Henry’s death hasn’t been totally forgotten, but do we really need so many grief-stricken sex scenes between these two? These are supposed to be the years they’re deeply in love, let them have some happier sex

- ehh I’m not sure that Catherine’s big reveal to the council actually changes much. A very early pregnancy, possibly with a girl, doesn’t really make the line secure. I think the focus should have been on Henry’s own desire to prove himself in battle, which would also have added to the humiliation when Catherine successfully defeats the Scots while his military exploits fizzle out.

- I really like General Howard, Peter Egan is fantastic (albeit a bit too polished for a grouchy, uncouth soldier type)

- “and now this book is closed” - god I hope so, bc I hate Maggie’s plotline from last year. It was interminable watching her whinge about how unfair it was that the Tudors suspected her of plotting against them because she had always been the most loyal person ever, as though she was suffering from some kind of selective memory loss about literally being a spy for the Yorkist rebellion in The White Princess. ffs Maggie can be either a completely innocent woman unfairly maligned by the Tudors or she can be a badass Yorkist rebel, not both. 

- it seems her memory problems are back this episode because she goes storming off to complain to Catherine about Edmund de la Pole getting his head chopped off, conveniently forgetting than she was also heavily involved in his plot and her family is only out of the Tower thanks to Catherine interceding for her with Henry. Catherine was 100% in the right here, Edward of Warwick was innocent whereas Edmund de la Pole was a fully cognisant adult who spearheaded a revolt to take the throne (and likely would’ve had both Henry VII and Henry VIII killed if he had succeeded), so the idea that she’s suddenly heartless because she apologised for the former’s death but not the latter’s is ridiculous. The whole scene, including Maggie’s kids’ ‘whoomp here she goes again’ reactions, unintentionally have her coming off as rather hysterical.

- hopefully the rest of her story this season focuses on her mending her relationship with her sad silent son instead and possibly getting her leg over Thomas More

- ahhh Lina’s face when Catherine bitchily says she’ll be having a girl. Catherine’s not going to be able to stop herself from lashing out at her now that she has twin boys.

- first the clothes comment last episode, now they have Ursula saying Charles may not be good-looking but he’s rich as fuck. I guess she’s being set up as a gold-digger.

- is it just me or does the Anne Boleyn’s actress look a little bit like Charlotte Hope? The dress they had her in when Henry returns even looks like something Catherine would’ve worn in season one. I’ve no idea why they’ve brought the Boleyn girls in this early though – are they going to be sent to France then come back later? Henry still has to make his way through Anne Hastings, Bessie Blount and Mary Boleyn before he gets to Anne. The episode summaries make it look like his infidelities won’t start until episode four so he’s going to have to have a new girl every episode to get through them all.

- I’ve kind of come around on the whole Catherine-in-armour thing. Frock Flicks wrote an interesting article this week where they pointed out that while historically battle armour for women did not exist and women very rarely wore armour, depictions of women in armour have been around for a long time and would have existed in the Tudor period. In this pseudo-historical retelling of Catherine’s story mythologizing her as a warrior queen, it does make sense to carry on that visual tradition and have her armoured up.

- Unfortunately I think they did kind of undermine the visual impact of the armour on screen by focusing on it so heavily in the promos for the season. Possibly it wouldn’t have affected a casual viewer so much, but anyone who’s followed the show’s promo cycle has been seeing pictures and clips of Catherine in the armour for weeks now, and when she entered stomping down the corridor in her full battle gear it didn’t blow me away like the first look at that outfit should have done.

- I know this series is never going to have the budget of Game of Thrones, but Flodden was a disappointment, from the rousing speech (“mothers are warriors too, amirite ladies?”) to the battle itself. You can tell they really wanted this to be their big epic action sequence and unfortunately it felt underwhelming. I remember the battles in TWQ/TWP being much more impressive, for what was probably a similar budget.

- as soon as I saw how heavily pregnant Lina was this episode, I knew a  birth/battle juxtaposition was coming. I get what they were trying to do with the whole ‘childbirth is women’s battlefield’ theme, but the attempt to fake-out Lina’s death fell flat - there’s no way they were killing her off. (I’m not sure why she was giving birth in the hallway, with apparently no midwives, but it was inadvertently hilarious watching Maggie - the only one with any childbirth experience - try and talk her through it while the other three were basically no help at all.)

- also everyone being like “omg Princess Mary you can’t possibly be at the birth” felt so out of place given that Meg and Catherine were both hanging around a battlefield at the same time

- on the one hand I did like that Catherine didn’t end up being some amazing warrior just off instinct; she’s almost immediately pulled off her horse, staggers around looking confused as fuck and then is shocked when she actually kills someone. But on the other, what was the point of all the warrior queen build up if she barely even does anything useful on the battlefield? (also why did they have her kill someone who looked so much like James?? I’ve seen several people think she killed James herself and I thought that too until he was shown being taken down afterwards - it was needlessly confusing)

- JAAAAMES. I’m so sad he’s gone. Georgie Henley knocked it out the park this episode, especially in her big mourning scene. Although given how sweet he and Meg were this episode, and her comment about him being her best friend, it just makes the punch last episode seem even stranger.

- I’m so sad we were robbed of seeing Catherine try to send James’ corpse to Henry as a victory gift and have to be talked into sending just the coat. If you’re going to make her ride out in armour let her keep her savage penchant for gruesome war trophies!

- oop, Catherine absolutely fails to sell the lie that she’s pleased about Lina’s two boys, and Lina can definitely tell.

- with Maggie B gone, Wolsey is the new evil religious cockblocker in town!

- I would like twenty more scenes of Lina and Oviedo being cute and bitching about their work days thanks

- I like Catherine defending Howard to Henry. It would have been nice if there was more time to show the development of a begrudging respect between those two.

- overall I found this episode disappointing. The big sequences weren’t impressive in the way last week’s were and there weren’t enough character moments to make up for that. I’m still looking forward to the rest of the season though, especially Meg, Mary and Maggie’s storylines. 

[deadsince1973]

OMG, thank you for asking! I’ve been hinting about this in my tags for a while now and nobody’s ever asked, so I’ve been really debating about whether I should post this or not! (Although, to be fair, it was also because I knew this was going to be long, and I felt too lazy to type it all up.)

I just want to start by saying I cannot emphasize enough that I don’t want to take away from anyone’s love for the Captain! If you find him positive representation and relatable, then I support your happiness in this!

But, that being said, I think Them There/Six Idiots’s representation of gay and trans characters is not very good. I could bring in examples from their other works (i.e. Yonderland and Bill), but I’ll try to limit myself to the Captain.

I’ve seen people say things like, “It’s so great to see a gay man where his sexuality isn’t the joke!” But, it is the joke. It’s the whole joke! Okay, to be fair, it’s only half the joke, because the other half is how militaristic he is. But when the joke is about him being attracted to someone, the whole joke is that he’s gay! Take for example when he first sees Mike. Humor exists in the subversion of expectations. Thomas says, “Let me pluck out my eyes, for I shall never see such beauty again,” as the camera shows Alison. Then the Captain says, “Yes.” There’s a pause, where the audience assumes he’s also talking about Alison. But then he adds, “He’d make a very fine soldier,” and we laugh because our heteronormative expectations have been subverted. The Captain is gay. That’s what’s funny! The Captain then clears his throat. We understand that he’s not out and proud. He’s not unashamed of his lust, the way Thomas and Kitty are. The facade of a straight man is maintained, allowing the show to continue to exploit the gap between the behavior expected of a straight man and the Captain’s behavior for laughs. If the joke goes beyond his being gay, it’s that he’s gay and closeted.

Now, you could argue that that wasn’t the joke, that the joke was that he was so invested in his military lifestyle that he conflated it with his sexuality. In other words, the joke was that he was attracted to soldiers, not all men. But that’s not the case at all, because no other case of him combining his fascination with war with attraction to anybody is ever shown. Additionally, because of the heteronormative bias we’re all immersed in every day (not to mention the very real behavior of military recruiters and real-life soldiers), we just more firmly expect a person with an unspecified sexuality to be straight than we do for an army captain to not look at the world and every person in it through a military lens. In other words, there’s more of a gap between our expectations of his sexuality and its subversion than there is between our expectations of appropriate behavior for an army captain and its subversion to exploit. Therefore, even though both his being attracted to a man and the reason why/the way he chooses to express that attraction are humorous, the bulk of our laugh comes from the realization of his sexuality. In order to exploit his expression of his lust in the form of military recruitment for laughs, the writers would have needed to remove the question of his sexuality from the joke altogether. To do this, they would have had to establish his sexuality explicitly and unambiguously before this scene. They did not do that.

You could then argue that that was the first joke, and it established his sexuality, and none of the jokes about his attraction afterwards exploited that expectation. But, as I said above, they still did not make his sexuality explicit. He pretends to be straight, and so we expect him to act straight. That’s as good as actually expecting him to be straight before the first joke for the purposes of laughs. Either way, we expect him to act straight, and so when he acts gay, he subverts our expectations and makes us laugh. Again, the whole joke is that he’s gay.

I’d like to turn now to the way his sexuality is treated in the serious parts, how it’s treated outside of the jokes. I do want to add the caveat here that I don’t find this show emotionally compelling at all, the way a lot of people do. So I am coming at it from that point of view.

After the first season, I said I would be more okay with them exploiting the Captain’s being closeted for laughs if they actually seriously addressed what it’s like to be a closeted gay man. For the record, I know Ben Willbond said in at least one interview that he didn’t want to “ge[t] too deep about it because it is just a comedy.” Personally, I don’t agree with that point of view. I believe that if you’re going to deal with a socially sensitive issue in a comedy, you should give the weight it deserves. I don’t believe everything in a comedy has to be for laughs. Perhaps if you find the Captain emotionally compelling, you would disagree with me that his experience with his sexuality needs to be treated earnestly (and you probably agree with me that not everything in a comedy has to be for laughs). I can respect that opinion, but I’m afraid I do not share it. I would have liked to have seen an explicit depiction of his experience and struggles with his sexuality.

Which brings me, of course, to Redding Weddy. Frankly, I think the Captain throughout the entire show is barely one step away from queerbaiting. Yes, at least there’s never any hint of his actually being heterosexual. That’s a slight improvement from most queerbaiting. But they still never make his sexuality explicit. To my knowledge, none of Them There have even said the words “gay” or “homosexual” in an interview in relation to the Captain. It’s an unspoken understanding between the show and the audience, and that leaves the character open to interpretation. There are allegedly fans out there who still do not believe the Captain is gay. And to my mind, Redding Weddy just gives those fans ammunition.

Redding Weddy is ambiguous. The Captain is clearly as horny as a goat for his lieutenant. But at the same time, even then, even in a flashback, even when the Captain is alone with the audience, we get no explicit confirmation of his sexuality. The Captain’s explanation of Operation William is unclear. It could be taken at face value. In that case, the Captain never wrote a letter to Havers, he really did just bury blueprints with the mine, and all the hinting that he was in love with Havers was just misdirection. At best, we can believe that both were true: that the Captain was in love with Havers, and the misdirection was in the story’s focus on his feelings to distract the audience from the fact that he was really buying secret blueprints. At worst, the whole thing was a misdirection, and he was never in love with Havers at all. I don’t believe that, but it is a perfectly reasonable interpretation. It could also be that the Captain was lying about the blueprints. In that case, he really did write a love letter to Havers and hide it with the mine, only concocting the story about the blueprints and the whole operation being called “Operation William” at the last minute when he needed to explain the mine to Alison. That makes less sense to me, because why would he need to mention the paper and the name William at all, now that it had been blown up? However, you could still explain that away by him being afraid that the letter survived and trying to pre-empt any questions, should the letter ever be found. That’s a bit too much of a stretch in my opinion, but still not a totally unreasonable explanation. I think it’s significant that none of the other ghosts weighed in on the story, even though at least one or two of them must have seen or heard something. I think the story was kept deliberately ambiguous in order to keep the Captain’s very obvious sexuality as vague as was still possible. I don’t like that.

What I would have liked to have seen, more than anything else in regards to the Captain, is for them to have treated his sexuality the same way they treated Kitty’s race: as completely inconsequential. I’m not good enough with history to know exactly when Kitty lived and died, but she’s supposed to be a noble, or at least rich, Georgian woman, right? Google tells me that slavery was not abolished in the British Empire until 1833, under the reign of William IV (who, as I know we all remember from The Monarchs Song, came after George IV). Would a black woman have been granted dignity and respect in the heart of an empire built by the labor of people enslaved with no justification other than the color of their skin? If I’m wrong, please correct me, but I don’t expect so.

I do understand the need for both types of stories. I understand that there’s value in stories about a person of color, or a woman, or a member of any other minority or disadvantaged group fighting for equality and gaining ground. It’s good to have stories that explicitly support equality. But it is my opinion that there’s also value in simply presenting that equality, as unrealistic as it might now seem. It normalizes that equality, and it lets people who identify with one of the disadvantaged groups feel included. That’s why I love seeing a black woman being a Georgian noblewoman, because why shouldn't black people be able to dream of belonging to any period of British history that they want to? None of us can time travel, so it’s no more unrealistic for a black person to dream that than a white person. And that’s why I would have liked to have seen the same thing with the Captain. No, of course homosexuality was not accepted in the 40′s. But why shouldn’t we be able to pretend that it was? Why can’t we just see a gay man being treated completely equally to everyone else, irrespective of his sexuality? Why can’t we let gay men and maybe even others who identify as anything other than cis and straight dream of being able to be themselves in any historical era that they want to? That’s why I would very much have preferred if the Captain was just out, that they used a word like “gay” or “homosexual” on the show in reference to him, and if the whole joke of his character was just his military ways. Possibly mixed with how horny he is, just like Thomas or Kitty. But, in that case, as with Kitty and Thomas, the joke would not have been that he was gay, it would have just been that he wanted carnal satisfaction when he had no physical form. That would have been much better representation in my opinion.

This has all be in answer to the question above, posed on my post about how the Captain dancing with a gay couple at the end of season 2 was magical. I stand by that. I want the Captain to be out and happy, and him indulging himself and being comfortable with his sexuality makes me happy. But the fact that his sexual orientation is so often the butt of jokes, that they never address his struggles about getting comfortable with himself, and that they never dignify him by saying his sexuality out loud makes me feel frustrated and disappointed.

[evenstevensranked]

#32: Season 1, Episode 7 - “Foodzilla”

Louis convinces Ren to let him do a live news segment on the school lunch lady for the Wombat Report. Unfortunately, his inability to be serious turns the story into a fiasco -- ultimately causing the lunch lady to quit her job.

The episode opens with Louis and Ren walking home from school. He’s nagging her and asking “please?!” over and over. This is obviously setting us up to wonder what the heck he’s asking for. Side note: I love how even though I know they filmed the interior shots of the house on a set, I STILL like to think they used the real house from time to time, lol. This is another one of those instances. They’re walking out and about in the real world, up until they reach their front door. You can’t tell if they’re still outside or if they’ve captured great artificial “natural” light. Gahhh. You can also hear legitimate sounding wind and cars driving by, which is either great sound editing or... ya know, they were actually at the house. In which case.. IT TOTALLY IS THE SAME INSIDE! 

Yeah, this is definitely (probably) my wishful thinking talking tbh. The more I stare at these images the more it looks like a set with bright lights... But still. 

Anyway, nerd analyzation aside... Turns out Louis desperately wants to host a segment on the premiere installment of the Wombat Report, which Ren is in charge of. He says that he could make her a comic masterpiece, which is where Ren immediately shuts any prospect down. Naturally, she absolutely will not allow it because she thinks Louis is incapable of taking anything seriously. I don’t blame her. If only she could lighten up, though.. Louis probably could’ve delivered something great, hilarious and take it seriously. I would’ve loved to see that, tbh. 

Literally a million scenes/lines from this episode were used in Disney Channel promos for the show. Including “You think I need to shave my pits?” “I rest my case.” which happens around this point of the episode. 

Louis heads out to the backyard, where Eileen is attempting to do Tai-Chi. The only problem is that she can’t find the right music to help her relax. Louis confides in her about the Wombat Report situation, and she tells him if he really wants to do it, the only option is to take it seriously and present Ren with a professional idea. She invites Louis to try exercising with her “Do this with me! It’s called: Golden Chicken Stands on One Leg.” Louis gives up right away and says:

So freaking good. Louis Stevens is all of us. 

Eileen eventually looks though Ren’s CD collection for better relaxation tunes and chooses Limp Bizkit. Oh my god. “The Limp Biscuits. That sounds relaxing” she says. bahaha I can’t. 

The next day at school, Louis tries to figure out a good idea for a story and goes to Twitty and Tawny for help at lunch. Twitty suggests that he do a behind the scenes look at his band, The Alan Twitty Project! Ahhhh! This is the first ever hint at the band arc! :D He also says that his lead singer has mono. The number one sickness mentioned on teen shows that literally no one I’ve ever known in real life has contracted. We get another one of those lines used in promos here: Louis: “You think I’m just some goofball who can’t be serious?” Twitty and Tawny: “...........yeah.” 

Right about now is when Louis gets the bright idea to do his story on the school lunch lady.. played by Wendy Worthington who’s been in a zillion things you’ve probably seen. Including “Tower of Terror” -- the single most horrifying movie to ever air on Disney Channel. (Well, except for “Don’t Look Under The Bed.”) There’s a decapitated corpse and doll in the film. Just sayin. 

She’s honestly really good at playing a creepy lady, I guess. Also, the little girl is Morgan from Boy Meets World... which instead of a direct parallel, you could consider a 6 degrees of separation deal between this show and BMW. I mean, that’s kinda reaching... but.

Just for the laughs, here’s me on the ride at Disney World. I was... well, terrified of it, but oddly obsessed at the same time. Also, that is my uncle laughing at me to my right. 

Louis presents Ren with a rough draft of his report “The Lunch Lady: Life Behind The Hairnet” which seems extremely promising. Ren thinks so too, and allows him to do the segment. We sort of get mirror talk that night... but not really. It’s just Louis practicing various ways to act on air -- another bit used in promos. 

Okay, we’ve finally reached the debut of The Wombat Report! For some reason Ren can’t correctly pronounce “Wombat Report” and says “Wombat Waport” I never understood this until I asked my mother for confirmation today. Louis refers to her as “Bawa” (a.k.a Barbara Walters) at one point, so I always assumed this was a reference to her or something... turns out my assumption was correct. I apologize for being an uncultured swine.

They start off with a “Coming up...” intro that features a character named DaNica Henderson (played by Alexis Lopez from The Luck Of the Irish, whose sister is Bianca Lopez a.k.a Mandy “Always Gets Her Man” Sanchez! Holy crap!) To quote Season 3 Louis:

DaNica says “Ever wonder what happens to the fines you pay on overdue library books? I have a shocking report.” And the camera zooms out to reveal a fancy sports car in the librarian’s parking spot: 

Like, wth?! lol. Imagine if the librarian saved up enough piddly overdue fines to buy a freaking lambo or something?! omg. What’s funnier is that I’m picturing the stereotypical, old lady librarian driving around in that car. 

They segue to a sports report by the underused Artie Ryan. Yesssss. He’s interviewing Twitty about a recent basketball game. This scene cuts to Louis, who’s on next, telling Tom (who of course is the AV guy/cameraman) that he’s just gonna wing the interview with the lunch lady. Not good. When it cuts back to Artie’s segment, we get another one of those backends to a random sentence from Twitty: “...Let’s just say it’s the last time I played without a cup.” Oh my god. Chill, Disney. Twitty takes this on-air opportunity to say that his band is looking for a bassist. Artie leans in like “Hey! I play bass!” lol. This is so great because Artie goes on to join The Alan Twitty Project/Twitty-Stevens Connection! Again, very cool to see the band arc starting to form. Gotta love solid continuity. 

It’s time for Louis’ report and, well... this is just one of those absolutely iconic scenes ya gotta embed: 

“It’s FOODZILLA! Tokyo is dooooomed!” (At least, I think that’s what he’s saying.) 

..........as you can see, Louis started off his live-streamed interview sort of okay? And then it all just went down in flames pretty quickly. Only Louis Stevens could take an interview from a simple question, to a full out food war between the news crew and the Lunch Lady. It’s actually pretty hilarious, but you just cannot help but cringe at the fact Louis f’d up… again -- Much like his meltdown in Wild Child. But, I’m ranking this disaster higher because I find it less horrible than tarnishing the name of his own family and jeopardizing Eileen’s campaign on television. It’s a lil less cringy than that, which makes it funnier. I love how he shouts “MAN DOWN! I’ll try to get’cha out! I’ll try to get’cha!” as if they’re literally at war, which is too much lol.. and also predicted Shia’s future...? (Again, I’m reaching, but STILL.) That ending shot scene of Ren fuming with anger was also used for promos. Actually, you can just check out this promo video I posted recently to see every moment I’ve mentioned so far and then some.

To Ren’s surprise, everyone (including Principal Wexler for whatever reason) loved Louis’ segment and thought it was hilarious. DaNica refers to it as “phat” which definitely dates the show, lol. Just like that, Ren switches gears and tells Louis to prepare another segment. Wow. Unfortunately, at lunch that day.. all the kids start taunting the lunch lady by screaming “FOODZILLA!” at her. This one kid was the first one to shout it, and I always thought he was Khleo Thomas (Zero from Holes) lol:

The lunch lady is obviously mortified and runs away into the kitchen. :( Louis and Ren feel incredibly remorseful. When they get home from school, they tell Eileen everything and she forces them to go to the lunch lady’s house and apologize. (This is also the “You are a horrible little person” bit. As seen in that darn promo I linked.)

They go to her house later that night, and she reluctantly invites them in. We learn that her name is Elsa Schotz, and she “shows them who she really is” by yodeling for them. I don’t know how that’s supposed to reveal her true colors, but ok. We find out that she came over on a boat from Europe to become a professional yodeler, but sadly no one cares about yodeling in America — which is most definitely extremely factual. Have you ever heard a Top 40 yodeling hit? Honestly, why would ANYONE travel to America of all countries to pursue a yodeling career? She was already in Europe! That seems like something you’d go to Germany or Switzerland for??? I feel like this is a career endeavor you’d research where it’s most lucrative before moving to another country? Anyway, once she found out that yodeling work literally does not exist in the US, she started cooking at the school for money. But, now she’s depressed because she’s being made fun of.

This information somehow leads to Louis and Ren giving her a makeover??? I never realized it before, but that almost makes no sense? The kids at school weren’t making fun of her for the way she looks, but rather, because of her crazy outburst. I’d be so insulted and confused if I were Elsa. Is the makeover just a way to... somehow distract from the Foodzilla thing? Idk. She forgives them in the end though and her new-look gives her a confidence boost.

Where’d they get that outfit? Did she just happen to have something snazzy like that in the back of her closet? or did they seriously glamify her uniform?

They were pumped for the kids at school to see the “new and improved” Elsa Schotz, but she doesn’t show up the next day. Turns out she struck up a relationship with the school janitor and they eloped to Las Vegas to get married. Still a better love story than Twilight. 

And that’s pretty much it! The short return after the last commercial break is Louis yodeling for Eileen while she does her Tai-Chi. 

This episode remains super memorable. Probably because how many freaking scenes they used on commercials! It also aired a lot as well. Like, wow. But other than the actual Foodzilla scene, the rest of the episode is just a little bland and slightly random at times haha. It’s still good though. It’s nice to see Louis and Ren work together to help Elsa in the end. 

Thoughts?

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[paperfury]

I’ve been tagged by @just-your-average-bookworm (thank yoooooou) and I love tags so here thee goes:

Which book are you reading now?

The Republic of Thieves (Gentlemen Bastards 3) by Scott Lynch and THIS IS MY NEW FAVOURITE SERIES OF LIFE.

What’s the best beverage when reading?

Nothing. Because if anyone would be unlucky enough to spill while reading...IT WOULD BE ME.

What’s your favourite book quote?

“You've got that motherly concern in your eyes, Jean. I must look like I'm hammered as shit," said Locke. "Actually you look like you were executed last week.”

The Lies of Locke Lamora

(But I have, like, serious favourites too but I’m just a liiiiittle obsessed with this series right now. IT’S HARD TO TELL.)

Are you looking forward to a certain book release? If yes, which one?

Omg all of them?! 2017 looks so amaizng for books!

A Conjuring of Light by VE Schwab

The Cruel Prince by Holly Black

Royal Bastards by Andrew Shuarts

Warcross by Marie Lu

The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas

Lord of Shadows by Cassandra Clare

The Last Magician by Lisa Maxwell

Wonder Woman by Leigh Bardugo

Our Dark Duet by VE Schwab

The Crown’s Fate by Evelyn Skye

The Thorn of Emberlain by Scott Lynch

Blood Rose Rebellion by Rosalyn Eves

The Prince’s Bane by Alexandra Christo

Daughter of the Pirate King by Tricia Levenseller

SEE I TOLD YOU A LOT.

What’s your Hogwarts house?

Slytherin. I am a dragon.

If you could get on a plane right now, where would you go? (And yes, fictional places are good as well. You could also travel via wardrobe/ train/ etc.)

Paris, probably, because all the famous writers of old went there to write and I SHALL JOIN THEM AND BE FAMOUS. #dreamin

Also pls let me be a Shadowhunter.

What’s your favourite holiday to read?

I’m so not organised to read books according to holidays/seasons. I read whatever!

Spell your name using book titles!

Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo

A Darker Shade of Magic by VE Schwab

I’ll Give You The Sun by Jandy Nelson

The Raven King by Maggie Stiefvater

Are there any books you want to recommend to the rest of us? 

Some of my most favourite books of ever are:

The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater

All The Bright Places by Jennifer Niven

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

Illuminae by Jay Kristoff and Amie Kaufman

A List of Cages by Robin Roe

The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch

A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket

The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss

The Serpent King by Jeff Zentner

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

Half Bad by Sally Green

Bone Gap by Laura Ruby

What is your favourite nonfiction subject to read?

Anything on the history of Russia!

What types of book covers do you find most aesthetically pleasing?

Arty ones! Like the Raven Cycle covers! I also love and adore intricate and incredible typography.

If you had to choose one bookworld to live in, which one would it be?

Definitely The Mortal Instruments. I think I could make it as a Shadowhunter. :’)

What is your favourite reread?

I’m currently re-reading A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket and looooooving it. My affections ONLY GROW since my childhood where I was obsessed with ASOUE. (FYI the netflix show is incredible.)

Which books are you planning to read next?

My TBR pile is an absolute nightmare right now omg. I HAVE SO MANY BOOKS AND NOT ENOUGH COMMON SENSE BECAUSE I COLLECT MORE THAN I READ. But, I do hopefully plan to read Gilded Cage by Vic James soon! And I just ordered Carve the Mark by Veronica Roth and The Bear and the Nightingale by Katherine Arden. OH AND GEMINA the sequel to Illuminae!!

What was the last book you rated 5 stars?

Red Seas Under Red Skies by Scott Lynch!

What book character do you identify the most with?

I definitely relate a lot to August from This Savage Song. <3

Does your family read a lot?

My youngest sister is a rabid bookworm like meeeee. And my mum is an enthusiastic bookworm when she has time. But my 4 other siblings + dad = NADA.

[fandoms-live]

awae ep 10 finale!!! thoughts while watching hehe sry

anne ep 10 so sad aw aw winnies sad aw aw aw shes the best so irrepressibly cavalier with my heart awwwwwww aw she wanted marriage aw aw aw im sad for her but go anne omg the thumbnail made my heart go :O :) aw so humiliating i don't have plans to marry all these people so victorian they don't need a date to marriage!!!!! unrequited settle for you you are exceptional you deserve so much more than being settled for aww go gil aw aw aw he's bthe best even rejecting aw you will tell no one what has transpired mood girl aw she's going away aw aw aw expectations be like that NOW MY GIRL ANNE GOTTA COME THROUGH PLEASEEEEEEEE THEY BETTER ACTUALLY KISS I NEED SOME ACTUAL CONTENT TO CRY OVER PLEASE BECKETT PLEASE MOIRA PLEASE i don't wanna go unless youre going the eye contact ahh the test anxiety of scores is univeral omg omg omg omg the suspense gilbert and anne tied for first!?!?! those smiles umm congratulations aww whats happening CLASS DISMISSED may i have a word in strictest confidence aw

aw aw aw what is happening their moods best friends goals two kindred sprits walking arm in arm towards their desitinies aww a new one aw a new oath i love them it is your future, not theirs aw aw aw holy fuck aw you have one job one task in life aww aww aww aww this is terrible aww everyones leaving CARMODY jeannie omg corsetssssss college omg this is so relatable i hate to leave green gables aww waww aww my heart emotions aw what is matthew doing aw the baby is so sweet aw mommys being good to seb now aw the baby SQUEALED aw gil is coming gil has come omg omg omg omg omg my heart aw the parallels omg aw the letters omg aw OMG MY HEART IS CRYING it always has been, and always will be you omg omg omg im crying aw he was smart and put it in her room please go see it rn please please please please please plase aw anne is trying to be a good son practical decision aww matthew aw anne so sad aw omg go see it up the satairs yes omg omg omg yes she sees it

omg omg omg omg im dying holy fuck she just ripped it aw aw aw aw aw aw im not crying or dying you are aw she could not be more wrong please please im crying take heart, dear one aw they went shopping i love that but please diana is in the depths of despair IT IS YOU the angst im crying aww marilla made her a dress love that for her awwwwwwwwwwww anne doesnt wanna go aw the angst bushel barrels aw elijah bash elijah nooooo aw no so much sadness so many loose ends tied up nope nope no aw marilla and eliza risk of losing her altogether im not crying u are ms stacy is gonna help them out quest for perpetual happiness so quotable those of us who can soar to the highest heighs deepest sorrows address of boarding house in charlotetown aw teacher student goals mail? what mail? aww ms thomas addled sitting there like a stone OUR CHILD sibling goals marilla and matthew aw matthew shoes of her own life utoronto ok im about to apply there now tell her how you really feel aw omg baby delphineeeeeeeeeee the NOD yes seb aw omg theyre leaving shes leaving this isnt real this cant be real she looks so grown up a little lady my heart is IN PIECES pleaseeee gil and annethe letter was a bit dramatic tho snow queen ahhhhhhhh matthew ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh charlottetown please aww ms blackmore so lovely they ALL LOOK SO GROWN UP never dream of disappointing or breaking the rules ahhaha maybe not lovelyugh rules? these ladies, what aw im sad now SUITORS aw girlfriends goals aw yay for gil u of T is queens an all girls school??? aww sebs mom and seb and now elijah aww aww elijah and delphine aww aw seb the best forgiving father we must take it to her straightaway no impositions no sire fiddlesticks ms barrry COLE AWWW A BABY GENTLEMAN AWWW COLE AND ANNE OMG OMG OMG awwwww anne's veloved mother aww in her dressss omg omg omg shes all grown up omg im crying auspicious moment at least she hasnt lost that WHATS HAPPENING aw she seems sad aww regrettable of course incredibly graceful aww he knows her well enough aww matthew doin his best aww didn't want to hold her back i love you so awwwwwwwwww im not crying u are theres the hug but gil please aw she looks so beautiful i love her the parasol the brave girl sore disappointed just a ferry ride away but what about kakwet these loose ends need to be tied up ugh s4?????????????? cuthbert NEIGHBORS thomas is crazy aw locked not anymore THE CASE the language of flowers awww anne's parents omg walter and bertha mom was a teacher omg aw winnie aw winnie doesn't know she doesn't know aww omg im not crying u are but theyre on the train to charlottetown ugh my fam messed it up ugh but ANNE in a rish omg this is the moment anne you've been smitten yes diana all of 30 seconds to decide her entire future diana what letter IM NOT CRYING U ARE OMG OMG OMG OMG its happening hes running even tho she told u she loves u aw omg omg omg omg omg omg he's here omg omg omg omgthey found out but by other people aw they kissed omg he kissed her and she kissed him again and the hands and his smile and pen pals very nice fountain pen aw diana awwwwww everything's working AW HE CAME BACK AND THEY KISSED AGAIN IM NOT CRYING U ARE aw there might not be a season 4 after all because this is so beautiful they went right to tkiss aww her mother was a teacher aww they came the cuthberts aw everything is perfect red hair aw this  is so perfect s3 finale 11/24/2019 birthday wish lifetime wish aw diana came and parents and gilbert and everythng i have a very good imagination, i just had to be sure that this is real i have to know, do you truly have feelings for me

[survivorwakea]

Episode #3: “New Tribe New Tribulations.” - Ben

That joint tribal went almost perfectly besides the fact that a dean voted for me for whatever freakkkkiing reason, but I really came out of that tribal with close allys in Johnney and Chloe from the other tribes so I really think that is dope I would type more but I’m shot

wow ladies so im sitting on the toilet rn and i am fucking shaking in my boots. do u know how worried i am rn. im so worried. johnny said at the joint tribal that we were SOMEHOW not a part of that the 13 of them had already gotten to know each other and meet each other and everything that hit me rly hard bc like.... shit. shit shit fuck. fuck fuck shit. fuck. they’re friends already and more likely than not lono is gonna get picked off one by one at the tribe swap or whatever im literally so scared

Omg omg omg I just went to like my first ever live tribal and it was soooo exciting omg omg omg. I really loved having the chance to sort of better connect with these people and have a moment with them that you wouldn't otherwise have really. And, I survived so that's a massive plus as well!! Eek I'm just so excited right now to be playing this season and everyone on the other tribes seem so active and happy and I'm really looking forward to getting to know them more throughout the season. It sucks I had to lose Dean but we all have to make sacrifices somewhere.

Just got on new tribes and I’m pleased. I think I should be able to make some strong connections here. Elmo’s on my tribe and that really helps. Also talking to Joey and he seems pretty cool. Hopefully we do a good enough job on whatever song we choose so none of us have to go home. Hopefully Johnny, Justin, and Taylor are alright. I still kinda don’t know what I’m doing or where I am. Didn’t realize until half way through the last round that all 3 tribes were at the combined tribal. I thought there were 10 of us and that it could be a split vote. True flop? Yes. Maybe I’ll decide to get it together.

After a really crazy tribal council, we swapped and to be honest I don’t feel as bad about this as I probably should. I feel like during the joint tribal I bonded well enough with Chloe, Thomas and Taylor where I think that if we go to a tribal I have enough bonds started that will keep me safe at least for another round and on top of that we also got Cullen on our tribe which is honestly the best case scenario because that could honestly be a free round!

Trust Rankings (Early AF) 1. Chloe 2. Thomas 3. Taylor 4. Randy Who’s Cullen?

Well I knew I was going to be talking about the swap eventually. Cullan just got evacuated which is sad and I hope he is doing okay. I'm glad I swapped with Chloe and I feel Adam and Taylor are staring to see me and Chloe as a duo, which can be either good or bad. Randy I need to talk to more. Taylor and Adam both said they would be a number to me and Chloe if we need them, but I hope to hold that off for a little while.I just want to win this next challenge and avoid tribal :)

WHAT IN THE ABSOLUTE FUCK DOES THOMAS THINK HE IS DOING RIGHT NOW?   Taylor has messaged me saying last night they spoke to Thomas about maybe us 3 working together and that Taylor thought maybe Thomas should message me first about it. But here I am with Taylor messaging me about it and no word at all from Thomas. I've given Thomas a chance to bring it up, I've been sat talking to him about how he's now finished school so he has more time to play orgs. This could so easily lead into a conversation about how Taylor messaged him. But instead he's just said "Im gonna go get a slurpee" well while you're out go find someone else to work with you because you're gonna need all the help you can get because I'm fucking coming for your bitchass now and I'm not gonna stop until it's red raw from taking all these hits from me.

New Tribe New Tribulations. I stayed with Elmo which is good, and I have been chatting up the rest of the tribe. Jared seems nice and I've floated the idea of working with him at a potential tribal. I've talked less with Lily, but she seems nice. People I've talked the least with are Ian and Joey. Joey never responded to my messages, and Ian I just don't talk to lol. I'm pretty confident ian would stick with me and elmo and I think we could successfully target Joey, especially if we hold the milo 3 over their heads and threatened rocks.

So, my premonition was most indeed correct. We ended up swapping from 4 tribes to 3 tribes. Not that that’s a totally bad thing. I mean, looking at OG tribes on Haumea 2.0, I’m in a 3-2-1 majority. And we had a music video challenge. My tribe lip synced to I Write Sins Not Tragedies. The question is, will we be pouring the champagne in victory? Or will the goddamn door be closed on one of us at tribal council?

whew. sorry i haven’t made a confessional yet i’ve been busy. but now i feel like i’m gonna leave out important info so let’s hope i don’t. we swapped tribes and that was... a bummer. i had my 3 person alliance over on my other tribe and i had elmo! i miss elmo so much and just hope we meet again soon. i don’t really loooove my new tribe.. i like justin of course and i think i’ve been hitting it off with johnny. and strayed talking to anbel a bit. tried to talk to bodhi and asya but nothing really clicked. here’s something interesting.. justin told me he went idol searching and he looked where i looked round one and where i found the idol. he told me that a power was there but it’s now gone and he told me that johnny told him he looked there but said he just drowned in the vortex and didn’t say anything about a power being there. so i think johnny just messed up his words but now justin thinks johnny has a power and i’m just letting him think that and throwing scenarios out there and i can let johnny take the blame hehe. i also went idol aka advantage searching somewhere and i got somewhere asking if i’d be willing to give up 2 votes. i thought about how during the joint tribal a vote was missing so i assumed whatever power is there, somebody has it. so i said nope bye i want my votes! i told justin about this so i can kinda pin asya having this power since she was at the joint tribal and she’s on my tribe now so it could be a good excuse to vote her off if we ever go to tribal and i can be safe another round.

so now justin thinks johnny has the idol or some kind of power even though it’s really me who has it. and thinks asya has whatever power she got for giving up 2 votes. idek if asya is the one who got that power but i needed someone to pin it out so we have an excuse to vote her out and i can stay safe.

i also wanna apologize for whatever spelling mistakes i make and if i literally don’t make any sense at all. it’s so hard to type up exactly what i’m feeling and put it into words kdkdkdkd.

Trust List:

1. Joey 2. Anabel 3. Elmo 4. Ben 5. Bodhi 6. Lily 7. Randy 8. Ian

so we swapped which is great! the initial numbers are 3-2-1 and im in the 3 so that's great! however ian isnt the most socially active player so i think he could easily be the target of the 2 and the 1 and i dont think either ben or myself would want to pull a rock for him right now

i think i will hint him to get close to like lily or someone so in case we ended up losing a challenge she'd want to target joey instead of him. thats the goal. i dont want to lose ian bc basically if lily sides with joey in that situation, jared will be the decider and while i do trust jared, i think it gives him too much power yanno and it might be enticing for him to stick to his OG tribe ally rather than two ppl he met at the swap

im not sure how that will go but i hope well hehe! ALSO I FOUND AN IDOL, ZACK'S INFORMATION PULLED THROUGH!!! i havent told anyone yet, in fact host made a mistake in the beginnin sayin that it was already found and then said like 1h later, oh u actually have an idol and that got me SHOOK TO MY CORE! the awk thing is that i told ben already that i didnt find it so hdiasfahsdif! i just hope that when / if i tell him, he wont be too upset with me bc i right now i consider us p close!

It’s hot as hell where I am right now. Better to be sweating over the heat than sweating over tribal, I guess.

I got tribe swapped fucked and im annoyed.

So i got put on a tribe full of STINKY stinky players. And the challenge is a lipsync so im like "submit the lipsyncs ASAP" and theyre practically more than useless and do nothing. So we submitted practically nothing because theyre so fucking bad at time management. And now we're at tribal.

Nobody talking to me about the vote, so I'm going home. I'll try and pull a stunt but idk. Wish me luck

Milu 2.0...hmmm... Where do I begin? 🤔 So my feelings on the tribe are mixed. Adam, Tom and Chloe were all part of the previous joint tribal so I had already had conversations with all of them. It made it easier to socialize when the swap actually did happen. Tom seems like a cool cat, and I had approached him with the idea of him, Chloe and I grouping up. Chloe seemed more than okay with it, but Tom never talked to Chloe about it like he said he would. That raised some red flags for me and Chloe. Adam and Randy I didn't feel as comfortable to begin with, but in the past day or two Adam has really came around and proposed we work together. Thus CAT was born. It's maybe not something long term but I think I could have great allies in Chloe and Adam individually. Tonight's vote is probably the most uncomfortable yet. Nothing feels solid, everything feels very much in the air, even if I have a majority alliance. This game is a rollercoaster and tonight I'm teetering on the edge and I have that sinking feeling in my gut. All I can do is put blind faith in my people and hope for the best.

Milu 2.0...hmmm... Where do I begin? 🤔 So my feelings on the tribe are mixed. Adam, Tom and Chloe were all part of the previous joint tribal so I had already had conversations with all of them. It made it easier to socialize when the swap actually did happen. Tom seems like a cool cat, and I had approached him with the idea of him, Chloe and I grouping up. Chloe seemed more than okay with it, but Tom never talked to Chloe about it like he said he would. That raised some red flags for me and Chloe. Adam and Randy I didn't feel as comfortable to begin with, but in the past day or two Adam has really came around and proposed we work together. Thus CAT was born. It's maybe not something long term but I think I could have great allies in Chloe and Adam individually. Tonight's vote is probably the most uncomfortable yet. Nothing feels solid, everything feels very much in the air, even if I have a majority alliance. This game is a rollercoaster and tonight I'm teetering on the edge and I have that sinking feeling in my gut. All I can do is put blind faith in my people and hope for the best.

This confessional is for the Third cycle where the end result was 4-1 (Randy, Tom) Loosing this challenge as honestly a rally hard pill to swallow I was absolutely pissed if we’re being honest, pissed at the fact that the final product was my video that as supposed to get snipped and trimmed because I didn’t know legit anything about that song or even lii syncing. I think me competing and being the one that submitted helped me when it was time to vote somebody out because I was told by basically everyone that sending me home would have been a silly decision. I honestly think my only option was too got out Randy because I think I’m solid with everybody else individually where I was trying to force something with Randy. If we lose again things will honestly go from 0 to 100 real fast as I don’t think anybody knows if Tom and Chloe are actually tight or what the deal is there but that will one hunger percent come in to place. All in all very successful round for me in my opinion. I think I need to be careful not to build this huge target on my back but I’m staying focused and just plowing through

https://soundcloud.com/bodhi-small/week3/s-0kmTB

I’m doing wonderful! As far as this game is concerned, Jared and I are tighter than Ralphie May’s(RIP) pants. We know what each other is doing, and we communicate CONSTANTLY. Ian is tricky to get. He just says “Oh, okay” to everything, its as if he’s building up a wall to prevent me from having a social game, it’s highkey INFURIATING. I LOVE LILY, she’s an actual angel, and she’s a good player. I like Elmo alot, he’s definitely at a disadvantage due to his timezone. As far as everyone else, I’m getting closer to Asya as we’ve put our “beef” aside and we realized we’re friendly. Johnny and I have known each other for 3 years, he was the first person I knew in this community, he was the first person who hosted me and got me into this community, he’s going to always be like a brother to me.

________________________________________________________________

Cullan is removed from the game. Randy is voted out 4-1.