#please these are barbie and ken dolls and I'm going to put them in a pairing that is so nonsensical but that also works

[ronanceisintheair]

Stranger Things teens just have such amazing potential for nonsensical college au. So many pairing dynamics. So much character and personality to work with. I'm just going to make a series of nonsensical college au oneshots because I'm having the most thoughts.

[octuscle]

Cursed Ken, part 1: Kemal, the janitor

There was a lot at stake for Patrick. Actually, it was about everything. He had invested an incredible amount of time and money in preparing for this appointment. He had to be successful. And he would be successful. His idea was brilliant. His preparation was excellent. He took a deep breath. The projector projected the image of a young athletic man onto the wall. The young man was obviously a janitor or something. The young man was made of plastic. And a small army of young athletic men made of plastic, one of whom was currently having an image projected onto the wall, stood on the table in front of Patrick.

"Gentlemen, the Barbie movie gives your product a tailwind that will open up completely new markets. Barbie and Ken have become socially acceptable. And I'm convinced that this offers unimagined opportunities for marketing Ken in particular"

It seems to be going well. The Head of Product Management reached for the janitor. And turned it in his hand.

"Whereas in the past, gay men never dared to buy a Ken doll without lying about it being for their little niece, today hundreds of thousands of customers with purchasing power can imagine having a Ken doll on the shelf in their bedroom. But these customers also need Kens that serve stereotypes other than the Malibu boy."

A young man, who looked a bit like Malibu Ken himself, smiled as he reached for the doll, which was dressed like a British redneck. Only in pink. It went really well!

"As well as new Kens, which cover current popular gay fetishes, we should also take into account the fact that Barbie is now a manager or a lawyer. So Ken should also be allowed to be a janitor or a garbage man. Especially as this also appeals to potential customers' fetishes."

A member of the controlling department took the figure of the soccer player in his hand. Patrick seized the opportunity immediately. He switched to the foil with the Germanic-looking Ken, who was wearing a sleeveless T-shirt and had tattoos on one arm and one leg.

"With the European Football Championship in Germany this year, we have a major event that we can also exploit without paying license fees. We can place footballers, soccer fans and, as the epitome of masculinity, soccer hooligans. Everything that has to do with soccer this year…".

The head of product management cleared his throat. "May I interrupt for a moment?" he asked. Patrick nodded at him with a winning smile. "If you want my opinion, pack up your gay shit right now and leave the building. I didn't want this movie and I hate it. And the reason is that I feared excesses like this. I don't want a Ken who dresses like a faggot or a right-wing hooligan. For fuck's sake, does the prototype bodybuilder actually have steroid acne on his shoulders? Nobody wants to see that. And I certainly don't want to see it. Thank you for your efforts. But please leave. Go quickly and go far!"

Patrick stood open-mouthed in front of the screen with his presentation for a few seconds. Then he packed up without a word. He stuffed his artistically created dolls into a bag, put the computer in his laptop bag and left the room. He was on the verge of tears. He stuffed the bag with the dolls into the nearest garbage can. And then he left the building. Let Ken and Barbie choke you to death. Let them die of their fantasies. Anyone who even looked at Ken should become his fucking brainless image. How could he have thought he could make his fortune with these fucking figures? Never again!

There was an awkward silence in the meeting room. Not everyone present shared their boss's opinion. But no one dared to disagree. The two lucky ones who had a figurine in their hands discreetly slipped it into their jacket pocket. The head of product management took the janitor's Ken, stood up and said that he wanted to discuss this perversity with the legal department tomorrow.

It was mid-June. It didn't get dark until very late. Maybe that's why he hadn't even noticed how late it was. It was definitely time to call it a day. Where had that damn doll gone? He had it here on his desk… It was just too late, he was tired. But before he left, he had to go to the toilet. Damn it, he had to add toilet paper. And empty the garbage can. The snobs who were allowed to use the boardroom toilet often behaved like the ultimate barbarians. But it felt good to piss here. He would never get the privilege of doing it officially. But at this time of day? Who was going to forbid him?

The cleaning crew wouldn't be here for a few hours. He wiped over the urinals and washbasins with a few used paper towels. It was time to call it a day. But on the way out he could empty a few of the garbage cans along the way. Normally, he didn't pay attention to the contents of the garbage cans. Mostly boring papers. He assumed that the important stuff went into the shredding containers. There was something in one of the garbage cans on the conference floor that didn't belong there. Dolls. Various dolls that looked like Ken. In cool clothes. He'd never seen them like that before. Who threw something like that away? He packed it up once. It couldn't do any harm. Maybe he could sell the dolls…

Yes, he didn't have much to do with the blond Ken who stuck his mop in a pink cleaning bucket. But Kemal had even less to do with the powerful head of product management. He didn't want to deal with that kind of shit. He was here to service the air conditioning, replace light bulbs and sometimes fix faults in the elevator. It was a shitty job. But someone had to do it.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Ryan!Ken with a princess!Barbie reader maybe? Please?

Oh this is such a cute idea <3

......

In Barbieland, princesses were usually seen as figures of fiction in movies and books.

But you're a very real doll who lived on the outskirts of town, in a beautiful castle with a few Ken Knights (Kenights?) at your service and talking animals you befriended.

You enjoyed their company, although you do love seeing the faces of the other Barbies and Kens.

In fact, you hoped to see them more often.

So one day, you announced a ball at your palace, having invitations delivered to every dreamhouse.

You weren't sure if anybody would show up. You did live far, far away, after all...

And yet, so many Barbies came in droves, wearing their best dresses and tiaras, accompanied by their Kens who wore dashing outfits fitting for the fantasy setting you provided.

Soon the royal ball was in full swing, and everyone was having a grand time.

Well, everyone except....for a certain blond Ken.

You noticed this one in particular was following his Barbie around like a lost puppy.

Of all the Kens, he looked the most handsome in your eyes. His hair, outfit, and features were flawless in every way.

Why, you would've easily mistaken him for a prince!

Yet he was behaving more like a pauper at this rate, as he kept trying dance with her, only to be brushed off as she was pulled out of his reach by one of her friends.

Obviously, you believed in Barbies valuing friendships over relationships, although this was rather...difficult to watch.

Eventually he gave up, standing alone in the corner with an empty plastic glass in-hand, looking forlorn as everyone else danced to the gentle music.

You frowned at this display, not wanting anybody to feel lonely in your palace.

So you decided to go over to him.

"You look lonesome, dear Ken...what's wrong?"

At first, he doesn't realize you're actually talking to him...but when he does, he blushes and fumbles as he tries to respectfully greet you.

"O-Oh I'm...I'm good, your Highness. Wonderful ball, you're hosting, by the way." He kisses your hand, although when he looks up, the sadness in his eyes is even more apparent up-close.

"Now..you know better than to lie to a princess." You lightly tease. "Where's your date? Isn't that her over there?"

Seeing you gesture to Stereotypical Barbie, his confident front falters, but the second you look back at him, he pretends to be surprised.

"Oh there she is!! I was worried I lost her." He waves, hoping she'd look over at him just once.

Yet she didn't even spare him a glance, and he puts his hand down, becoming very upset as he notices Simu!Ken asking her for a dance.

Even though he was turned down, too, it still stung like a b-

"Would you care for a dance, Ken?"

The question turns his whole mood around, as he gawks at you, unable to believe his own ears. "Y-You're asking...me?"

"Well..it should be the man who asks the lady, traditionally speaking." You chuckle. "But since you only know Beach, I'll give you another chance."

"....o-oh right. Yes. Okay-" He clears his throat, setting aside his cup before he offers his hand to you, gazing into your eyes with renewed confidence. "May I have this dance, Princess Barbie?"

You pretend to swoon, smiling. "I thought you'd never ask."

[kairiscorner]

since the barbie movie brainrot is getting to me, have some

ben reilly x reader headcanons (when you go to watch the barbie movie)

btw spoilers for the barbie movie under the cut !!

when you came up to him, asking him if he'd like to watch the barbie movie with you, he'd perk up a little from his 'moping pillar' and think about it, but he'd go back to facing it while telling you, "i got no time to watch some silly dolls movie, babe... i have real things to do and think about, not watch a bunch of dolls come to life."

you'd nod sarcastically and tease him about wanting to see it for ryan gosling because "blonde himbo men are your type", you'd say while side eyeing him with a sly smile as he perks up at those first three words.

"o-on second thought... i'm your blond himbo men. i'll go, but not because you asked me to."

he'd grumble a little and ask what's so good about the barbie movie, and you'd argue, "because it's barbie!" and he'd groan as he stomps his feet and trudges behind you, grumbling, "oh please, you just wanna see it for ryan gosling, i'm already right here for you, babe."

as you two are watching the first few minutes of the movie, by the time you get to the first song, HE'D BE VIBING ALONG AND SWINGING HIS HEAD TO THE MUSIC

"you're vibing" "huh? no, no, i... i'm shifting in my seat, is all" "but you're smiling and swaying to the beat" "i just have a major itch in my butt right now, okay, babe?" "sureeeee"

the minute you saw ryan gosling in the beach scene and feigned simping over him, like shielding your eyes from him as you smiled widely, or fanned yourself and muttered some words under your breath, he'd watch you and fold his arms in front of his chest and scoff.

"i can do that, i have more abs than he does, watch," he says as he readies to take his hoodie thing off him, BUT YOU STOP HIM IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE YOU TWO ARE IN A PUBLIC THEATER

"i just wanna prove to you he's got nothing on me! you don't need a ken, you have a ben! me! i'm your ben!" he says as his voice rises a little, irritating the people around you two, and you have never been more embarrassed in your entire life 😭😭😭

"okay, okay, you have lovely abs, benny, now keep them under your hoo--" "so you like me more than ken?" "...yes, i like you more than ke--" "do you love me more than ken?" "of course!" "well, kiss me to prove it. come on, babe." you sighed, shook your head, and he keeps pestering you for kisses, but you cover his face with your hand as he puckers up and leans closer towards you :>

IN THE SCENE WHERE KEN IS ONLY HAVING A GOOD DAY WHEN BARBIE NOTICES HIM, YOU LAUGH A LITTLE BECAUSE THAT SCENE IS ALL TOO FAMILIAR TO YOUUUUU

"why's it funny?" "oh, nothing, nothing, it's just... i know that all too well." "what do you mean, you don't know any kens, do you know any kens? i'll challenge them to a flex off." "no, benny, i don't know any kens." "well good, because i'm sure if you knew any, they'd--" "hush now, the movie's getting good." "dammit, you like ryan gosling more than me." (he says that as he puts his hoodie up and pulls the drawstrings and crosses his arms over his chest LMAO)

AND IN THE SCENE WHERE KEN TRIES TO KISS BARBIE BUT DOESN'T ACTUALLY KISS HER AND PULLS AWAY SATISFIED, YOU CHUCKLE AND LOOK AT BEN, AND HE LOOKS AT YOU, "why's that funny?" "because you used to do that when you were asking me out, remember?" (he does not remember, or pretends not to) "well i always get a kiss in the end, unlike ken over here. what a crappy name, anyway." "it's close to yours." "hey! leave my name out of this, hmph... ben's the best name in the world. second to yours, of course--" "hmm?" "nothing!"

during that one scene where ken's wearing the long sleeved clothing that said something along the lines of "i'm kenough", he'd be tearing up during the context of that scene and mumbles, "i'm benough..." "that you are, benny. you are benough."

out of the two of you, ben would come out crying, but he'd mask it as his usual brooding state and claim he just had some dust in his eyes. "in a theater?" "y-yeah... the pink p... powder fr-from the p-p-popcorn ente... red my e-eyes." "benny, it's completely okay to cry... like how barbie told ken..." you'd tell him as you hold his arm and caress his bicep, AND HE LETS OUT ALL HIS PENT UP EMOTIONS AND SADNESS ON YOU FROM THE MOVIE RIGHT THEN AND THERE, GUSHING ABOUT HOW HAPPY HE WAS FOR KEN FINDING WHO HE WAS WITHOUT BARBIE AND HOW BARBIE BECAME HUMAN.......

he loved it. and bought a barbie doll that looked like you, and you bought a ken doll that looked like him to match :>

a/n: i have so much more for him in store I SWEAR

tags !! @thecoolerdor @miguelswifey04 @binibinileonara

[starseneyes]

Chenford - Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 5 - Ep 10

"The List" Or, as I like to call it, "Lucy has the giggles".

Y'all, this one SLAYED me, and I can't wait to jump in with you!

SPOILER ALERT: This Meta will spoil every delicious second of this episode and reference past material from the show (and will majorly spoil the end of the film Serenity. Sorry about that). Please proceed with extreme caution... or don't, if you are ready to be spoiled.

Shall we? Let's get things started!

Fashion Barbie Runway Show

Look, I had a couple Barbies growing up. And while they weren't my favorite toys, I understood the draw of dressing up your handsome Ken doll and fashionable Barbie in fun outfits. And, let's be honest, Barbie always had more variety than Ken.

So, it seems fitting that Lucy and Tim are struggling to choose the perfect outfit for their last first date ever.

Yes, I said it. Tim and Lucy are on an Endgame path, and they are completely aware of it.

Anyway, we see Lucy pull up every significant outfit she's ever worn around Tim (special shout out to the costume department for keeping those around and not selling them off, yet). There's the double date dress, the dance dress, and later the green dress from Lopez's wedding. It's a feast for Chenfordians.

SIDE NOTE: And we have to talk about Tim's bedroom. The crew put a lot of thought into it. Remember, Tim's been married before, and got to keep all the furniture. So, everything matches in tasteful, boring beige (as compared to Lucy's flamboyant, color-filled apartment).

I love that Tim has slippers. I don't know why that detail made me so happy (and the clothes sticking a little haphazardly out of his laundry basket in the closet), but those details help paint a side of the man we've never really seen before. Domestic Tim.

Tim's going through a smattering of the exact. same. shirt. in seventeen colors. And, look, I'll give him props that he has some variety in color to match whatever his date's wearing, but it's terribly on-brand to me for Tim to find the shirt that works and run with it.

Plus, this MUSIC!? "I was overthinking. Are we linking?" Tim and Lucy are definitely overthinking.

Side Note: I am LOVING how they are both tossing the discards on the bed rather than re-hanging them. Because they are so indecisive that they can't bring themselves to completely rule something out, even if they tell themselves that's not the one.

And Tim with the store-bought hangers that he never replaced? Because he probably thinks they're, "Perfectly fine hangers"? I was rolling.

Tim's finally had enough and he picks up the phone to dial Lucy.

Watch. Lucy's. Face.

Girlfriend knows she is taking forever to pick her outfit. She opts for the lie.

"Hi. I'm almost there." "No. No, you're not."

Look. At. Her. FACE! Look at that glee on her face. Because he knows her. She doesn't have to lie to him and worry what he'll think or how he'll react.

"No. I'm not. Sorry. Um, are you?" "No! Uh, look, does this restaurant have a dress code?"

See that twinkle in Lucy's eyes? It's the same twinkle when she laid hands on Tim's radio a few episodes back when he was newly single and she was about to be. Lucy's quickly cooking up a plan.

"Uh, no. I mean, you could wear cargo shorts, if you wanted."

Evil, evil girl. But, oh, how I love this. We're seconds into their first conversation of the night, and they are establishing right away that Tim and Lucy are still Tim and Lucy.

Yes, they're adding a layer to their relationship, but the underpinnings that have been so painstakingly stitched together over the past five-ish seasons remain.

"Really?" "Yeah, I mean, what does it matter as long as your comfortable?" "Nice try." *giggles*

Did. You. Hear. Her. GIGGLES?!

I know I'm pausing a lot on this Meta (and we're about a minute seven into screentime), but that's because this is so insanely delicious that I can't help myself.

I'm the girl who watched in agony hoping for Janeway and Chakotay to have an open-ended end to their romance only for the show to hook him up with 7of9 at the eleventh hour. Besides Mulder and Scully, that was my first major ship. And, to be honest, both left me with some serious trust issues.

So, I went into this episode hoping I would be wrong about so many things. And, folks, I was wrong about so many things. But, we'll get to that later.

Right now, our girl Lucy Chen is giggling because she tried a "gotcha" and he called her on it. And she is so relaxed in this moment that she can embrace the giggle without worrying about any of the boundaries.

Though there are physical boundaries in place (we'll get to those later), the emotional boundaries have completely come down. They're flirting. They're teasing. And it's all out in the open (at least between them) without restraint.

This is unhinged, untied, undone Tim and Lucy from an emotional standpoint. And it's f'ing beautiful.

Also, can we talk about Tim Bradford? I mean, we've seen him happy in relationships, before, but have we ever seen him beaming like this? I don't think so.

"That was clearly a test, and you should know better than to test the master."

Lucy's face is pure, "Yup, that's my boyfriend. He thinks he's so fly" and I am here for it!

Also, Tim in Gold Toe Socks?! I'm fairly sure that's what he's wearing, and that little detail of having super durable, super comfortable socks is so bloody Tim. We don't usually get to see his socks, and I LOVE these little details.

"What are you wearing?" "Yeah, uh, I don't know, yet. But I do have a lot of outfits that I am not going to wear. So..." "Look, well, we are running low on time. Traffic's getting ugly."

Oh, Los Angeles, how I detest your traffic. I once flew into LAX and my ride was two miles away when I called them from the street. Two miles.

One hour later they picked me up. I kid you not. Los Angeles traffic is some of the worst I've ever seen. I remember we went into the office (one of my clients) and it was a ten mile trip that took almost two hours. I am not built for LA traffic, and Tim's line sent a shudder of remembrance down my spine.

Lucy, my lady, it's time to pick a damn dress.

"Yeah, totally. I, it's silly, I just need to make a decision... Ah, yes! The green dress. It is decided."

It was the dress she wore the first time he asked her to save a dance... the first time she had the flicker that he was interested in her as anything other than a fellow officer and former boot. This dress holds significance between them, and it'd be lovely to rewrite its history so it's no longer the dress she wore when Jackson was murdered, but the dress she wore the first time she went out on a date with Tim Bradford.

"Great. Well, I'll see you soon."

He's imagining her in that dress. Remembering her in that dress. He couldn't help himself, even back then. He'd drank in every move of her hips, every hug of fabric against her skin as it swished toward her.

You can see that smile, again. The dazzler. He's dazzled by her, and they aren't even in the same room. That's the power this woman has over him. And he's done resisting its pull.

"Okay. Bye."

She hangs up on him and the music is soft, gentle, hopeful.

Then... nope. She yeets another dress onto the pile and we're back to square one.

The Most Romantic Restaurant in Town

Look, I don't know if this was the director or the script, but sweeping in on all those couples, and the flower arrangements, and the hanging, but dimmed lights? This is a couple's place. This isn't where you take your work friend for dinner. This is where you take your future wife.

And Tim's brought his future wife. But, oh, the boy is feeling awkward now that they're finally out together. Tim sneaks a look at Lucy and she chuckles. She can feel his unease.

"It's good bread." "Yeah. It's such a nice assortment."

Y'all. The Rookie team... we see you! We see you calling out the fan-created Crumb-o-Meter that made my first episodes watching this bloody ship all the more delicious. If you wanted us to know you're stalking our psychotic, borderline-obsessive *ahem* tweets and posts... message received. We'll keep up the good work!

But, seriously, in this moment the awkwardness is on point.

Transitions in life are tough. I'll be honest that with most of my boyfriends, I dove in. With Ernie, he asked to kiss me and we dated for two months (before he dumped me on my birthday over the phone the week of prom). With Sean, he said there was something between us and kissed me in his kitchen. That relationship lasted two weeks because he was moving away.

And before the summer ended, I was locking lips with Travis—whom I'd just met—and I dated him for over a year before realizing we had absolutely nothing in common and I was a stooge for jumping in without taking stock of the situation, first.

So when I met Matthew in the middle of my breakup with Travis... I wanted to do it differently. We spent the summer getting to know one another as friends. I took a romantic relationship completely off the table. Through emails (yes, email), AIM messages (I know... totally dating us), and group dates, I got to know him better and better. We had a budding friendship by the time we finally started dating.

Not the three or so years of Lucy and Tim, but I knew there was something different about my relationship with Matthew from the go. We took everything slower. And I'm so glad we did. It gave me time to savor every second.

Lucy and Tim both know that this is different, and there's a level of awkwardness there as two friends attempt the transition.

"Why is this so weird? We've eaten together literally hundreds of times." "Because our other meals only ever had the promise of being shot at afterwards, you know, not naked time."

I have to be honest with y'all, I did not see Tim saying that. This line leaked early via a journalist with an advance copy (so saying that it "leaked" isn't exactly true since it's the journalist's job to hype up the fanbase). But the journalist didn't attribute the line to either of them. I was shocked to find this came from Tim.

But in the face of the awkwardness they're feeling, it makes sense that he would be searching for words and land on the least romantic ones, God bless him. (Yes, this might seem like a variant on "God bless his heart" but, trust me, in the South they are two very different things. I truly feel for the guy!)

"Naked time? Please, I mean, we've seen plenty of naked people after we ate." "That's not what I-" "No. No. No. I know. I know. I know. I feel like I might... I might just need you to reset your expectations a little bit. You're not going to see me naked for... a while."

I have to stop this here for a couple of reasons. One, Lucy touches Tim's arm when she's saying, "I know". We watched in 5x08 where she struggled not to touch him when they were sitting together outside. Here, on their date, she isn't shying away from that. There's an ease between them, even as they're discussing what might be considered a delicate topic.

Two, I love the way that Tim smiles with her after "a while". There's an ease to it. I can see him having some naked time expectations after she bloody invited him in when they were both seeing other people. But he's listening to her, and he's accepting what she wants wholeheartedly, without question.

So, I don't think Tim was unreasonable in his thought process, originally. However, what I love about this is what happens next.

Also, I love the way that Tim reacts the same way he did to Chris saying he wanted Tim's thoughts—surprised, but ready to listen. It's those little details of this reset that mean so much to me.

"I mean, I don't want to rush into that. I wanna take things slow... go on this date, maybe a second date, have our first real kiss. I just don't think we should jump into bed together just because we know each other so well. Right? I mean, do you?" "No, I... Agreed."

I'm puddling on the floor right now. Y'all, you don't know what consent means to me. I have too many stories for this Meta (y'all'd be running away from me so fast because I wouldn't get to the Chenford for another six pages or so if I got started). But, as a victim of abuse, this is so important to me.

Lucy is setting the expectations here for her and Tim. And he's accepting and agreeing to them without question. This is how it should be, people.

Also, Lucy starts with telling Tim that he's not going to see her naked for a while, but she's also simultaneously telling him that someday he will. This isn't a short-term thing for either of them, and she's making that abundantly clear.

The one thing about Tim is that he knows about all of Lucy's previous relationships (save Nolan) that have happened during her time as an Officer. He knows that with Emmett it was all physical, basically. With Chris, they were "great together" but there was no substance. He's seen how she treats relationships, and, honestly, she hasn't done it with the greatest care or eye toward longevity.

In this speech, Lucy isn't only defining parameters for their physical/sexual relationship. She's also subtly communicating to Tim that she wants to put care into this relationship. She wants to build it up together, the same way they have their friendship. Lucy is telling Tim, "I'm in this for the long haul".

Watch his face just before he says, "Agreed". It's about more than just agreeing to what she's saying, and offering her that much-needed affirmation. It's about making their first major decision together as a couple.

She didn't have to ask him to chime in. Her body is her body and her choice. But she wanted to know that they were on the same page, and he had the opportunity to show her that he is.

In a long-term relationship, communication is the most important binder. Romance is great, but sometimes when you have flames coming out of your ears, you're not that interested in stolen kisses. Passion is great, but when you're cowering on the floor, breaking in half over tragedy, it won't get you anywhere.

Solid communication is the most essential building block to a relationship that lasts. And in this scene, Lucy has told Tim that's what she wants with him, and he knows enough to realize what she's saying beneath the words.

Lucy's face is filled with the same consternation as it was on "it's not worth the risk". She's worried how Tim's going to react. And both times, he reassures her.

It's so brief, so brief, but watch Lucy's eyes after he agrees (and this is all Melissa O'Neil). She's relieved.

As soon as they started talking to one another instead of making small talk, they returned to what has made them great all along—their foundation of understanding one another deeply, and not being afraid to call the other out, or reset the expectations.

Watch the awkwardness evaporate with that… It's the lack of communication that put them on edge. Well, almost all the awkwardness.

"Are you worried someone from the station's gonna walk in?" "What?" "You are!" "No, I-" "Wow." "What are the odds?"

I love this so much. Lucy's calling Tim out, and he's actually a little embarrassed. It's adorable. Tim and Lucy have completely gotten over the awkwardness.

Just in time for... I'm sorry. Are you for real? Seriously? I was just enjoying this adorable couple and y'all couldn't wait for the guests to leave for the night before having it out in the kitchen? Yes, the kitchen is a volatile place, but these two are dating here! Ya know?

Fine. Fine. Have your bloody knife fight. But did anyone else notice how Tim really really didn't want to get involved? He kept hoping for an outcome that wouldn't require them, but the second that dude grabbed the knife, Tim whipped out the gun and badge while Lucy went for a cloth napkin for the wound.

Truly, these two are a power couple, already!

"What are the chances someone from the station walks in now?"

And, too fast for real life (but perfect timing for the joke), the blue and red lights catch Tim and Lucy... red and blue handed.

Look, these two have got to stop racking up reports with both of their names on it when they're not supposed to be together. First Lucy's apartment when Chris was bleeding out, now the restaurant attack.

What on earth will Angela have to say to Timothy now!? (please, please let us find out, soon!)

And what is with these two and knife-attacks-to-the-arms ruining their moments? It's not a good trend.

But can we talk about Lucy's dress? YOWZA! When she stood up and I saw all the amazing back cut outs in addition to the front, I just thought, "Wow, Melissa O'Neil is FIT" and "Lucy looks incredible on this date".

Tim's no slouch, either! The patterned shirt he went with was the best thing in his closet we saw, and I'd kill to have a stomach as flat as Eric Winter's. Well, not kill. I don't want to be arrested while commenting on a cop show. That'd be a little too on the nose.

Before We Move On: I have seen a lot of feedback on the interwebs of people accusing Lucy of inconsistency between 5x01's "Do you want to come in?" and 5x10's "I want to take this slow."

First off, a human being can change their mind about a situation at any time and it not be considered a character flaw or "out of character".

Some nights I'll tell my husband, "As soon as the kids go to bed, you are mine" but by the time the kids go down, I'm too tired to move, let alone engage in "naked time". Does my husband accuse me of being an inconsistent character? Hell, no!

Listen, you can always change your mind about wanting or not wanting sex. We need to get rid of the mindset that if you were hot and bothered one time you're supposed to be permanently hot and bothered, or you're a tease or something. It's an insane way to interpret the situation.

Secondly (yes, I'm finally getting back to the Chenford), Lucy in 5x01 didn't know Tim was emotionally invested. She knew he was physically attracted to her, and she decided to take a leap in the moment. To live in that moment based on the information available.

Even when she's confessing in 5x08 that she's afraid of leaving her "safe" relationship for Tim because it could ruin the most important relationship in her life, she didn't know how he felt.

Yes, she is the one who shut down that talk in 5x01, but that's because she was assuming instead of listening and letting him finish. And assumption is when these two get in trouble (see "naked time" above).

So, in the fullness of her new knowledge, Lucy has made a different decision. She knows that this is endgame as much as he does (though I think he's still so surprised to see Lucy so at ease with all of it considering her history of keeping guys at arms-length after her ex cheated on her while she was living with him).

And it's perfectly okay to change your mind. Lucy changed her mind. Tim amended his expectations to match her wishes because when he does make love with her, he wants her to give herself fully with no trace of anxiety or fear holding her back. He wants her to feel completely cherished, and loved, and he'll wait until the moment she is ready. That is the magic of the moment.

Lucy Chen said, "Not, yet" and Tim said, "Understood. I'm not going anywhere" without saying so many words.

Tim went in with the knowledge that she twice jumped him (girl can be thirsty/assertive), and that she once invited him in.

It was definitely a possibility that they were getting naked after this romantic dinner. He was looking forward to peeling that skin-tight dress right off of her.

But the second she said that wasn't the plan, he rolled with it. And that's sexy as hell.

"This is not strange. Coworkers eat together. It's a thing." "At the most romantic restaurant in town?" "Right."

Our intrepid duo is scrambling. Lucy was making fun of Tim's paranoia over them being caught together, and within thirty seconds they were caught together.

And now it's the fallout. Before, there was no obligation to tell anyone anything or come up with a cover story. Now, they have a choice to make.

And I need to shout out to the director and DP for the staging of this scene. I love Tim and Lucy in their little spot, slightly removed from everyone else, and the sweeping shots where the noise picks up of the chatter of their fellow officers.

The fact that they have Tim and Lucy backed against the wall (heh) means that nobody can cross behind them, and the camera's positioned so we don't have people crossing in front of them. It allows us to focus on them singularly as a pair versus everyone else in the mosh-pit of police work.

"Well, I mean, we could come clean."

Watch Tim's face. It's not that Lucy's had to hide her previous relationships (besides Nolan... and I keep hoping Tim knew something at the time and didn't say anything because he doesn't want to talk about personal stuff in the Shop). But, Lucy's not one to bring dates to events and whatnot.

They've been on one half-date that was interrupted by an assault that resulted in an arrest. And Lucy's talking about letting everyone know that they are officially a couple. That's huge.

Tim can't believe what he's hearing. And even if it's not the right decision right now, it says something to him about how Lucy sees this... that she's not letting one botched date get in the way of them. She's not going anywhere. For goodness sake, she was the first to make them a "we" here!

But... still... there are some issues with coming clean.

"Are you ready for that? Are you ready for Smitty's commentary on us dating or the "ohs" every time we walk into the roll call room together?" "Or, we could lie."

Oh, honey, no. Look, you're a killer UC. We know that. But, when it comes to the people you know and love, you are a terrible liar.

My mind immediately flashes back to Season 1. "You're good at a lot of things. Lying isn't one of them." "You think I'm good at things? Can I get that in writing?"

Like, Lucy, honey. Nooooo. Let Tim do the lying for the both of you. He lied to himself for ages about how he felt. He's a much better liar.

And, to clarify, I understand why they feel they need to lie right now, and it's their relationship. But Lucy shouldn't be the one talking when they do it.

"Uh, yeah, we were there, uh, investigating a tip and then this whole other crime popped off." "Yeah, Lucy's C.I. was convinced they were dealing drugs." "What?" "What?" "Nothing."

Maybe neither of you is good at lying. Yikes.

"Boss wants to see you. Have a safe one."

Oh, Nolan, you don't even realize how scared these two are of walking into that office.

And, I must say that I was wrong, again. Look, folks, I admit when I'm wrong. It's hardwired into who I am because of how I grew up. When this scene dropped, I thought something might be missing, but now I see it was the way they edited the two shot to alternating one-shots that made me think I was missing something.

So, The Rookie, 2. Rachel 0. (and I'm going to lose again, at the end. Stay tuned!)

Tim holds the door for Lucy as they make the transition. I saw on Twitter that Eric Winter insisted on this, and looking back at their relationship, there have been several other instances where Tim has held the door for Lucy. So, this is absolutely in character, and I love that EW insisted upon it. Those little details make the character.

"I think you know how I feel about coworkers dating."

Yikes, Grey! Not even letting them settle into their stances before ripping the band-aid off. And, yes, I'm creating this commentary based on my first time watching the pan-and-scan version of this scene from Twitter.

Because, Rachel was not prepared.

Tim and Lucy glance at one another. Here we go.

"When I started, no one thought much of it. But things have changed. We're more aware of how power dynamics can skew things. Even the most innocent of relationships can be a distraction."

Watch Tim's hand slip off his watch as he fidgets. Tim can be very controlled, and very good at hiding his emotions. But I don't think he was ready for this conversation this soon. Lucy resettles over and over, pressing her lips together as the listens.

And this two-shot is so much better than the split screen they had to do for Instagram formatting. I love seeing the two of them together, united, but mirroring one another's positions while facing Grey—the authority figure behind the desk.

Right now, there's an inequality between Grey's position and theirs. Tim and Lucy are unable to sit and he is permitted to sit and lord over them, like royalty. Grey is the final word, and he's staring down at two very nervous officers.

"Hey, trust me, I get it. We spent 12 hours a day together. Feelings are bound to develop."

Tim looks over to Lucy. She feels his gaze and looks back.

"But we can't afford even the hint of impropriety." "We couldn't agree more."

"We". There it is, again. Some people put a lot of weight into this, wondering if Lucy is afraid that Tim is going to break it off. But I don't think that was ever the issue.

They both know eventually they won't be able to work together as they have... it's impossible. But they want this to last as long as it can.

Tim is saying "we" couldn't agree more. Not "I". Lucy doesn't have to worry about him giving up on her. But I think she knows he's willing to do whatever it takes for something he believes in—and he believes in them.

"Good. Look, I don't want to be the old guy interfering with peoples lives, especially their love life, but this whole Aaron and Celina situation has me worried." "The Aaron and Celina situation."

Tim's surprised face is adorable, but Lucy rolls with it fairly well. They turn to look out at Aaron and Celina. As they do, the camera shifts to a three shot, Grey now standing behind them. They're on a more level playing field, here, flowing with the scene.

Gosh, I love Robert Bella's style as a director. He really lets the camera breathe with the script. I haven't been this excited about a television director since Robert Duncan McNeil started working on Chuck after debuting as a director on Star Trek: Voyager.

Lucy sneaks a glance at Tim, trying to gauge his response before they turn around. He finally meets her eyes with a quick, "Well, that was close" look as they turn back to face Grey.

And, look, I think Grey is on to them. He's not a fool. But, he's also outlining a lot of thoughts in this scene, if we try to see it as him sending them a message.

He's not saying don't date. But he does remind them of the power imbalance (Tim's her SO and a Sergeant). Yet, he calls out the need for Aaron to establish his reputation and for Celina to get through her Probationary period without distractions.

Tim and Lucy will have to deal with their power imbalance.

"Oh, the irony." "Are you gonna talk to Aaron?" "About his love life? Can't wait." "When are you gonna talk to Celina?" "I can't tell her not to date a cop. That is so hypocritical. Oh, I'm gonna get Nolan to do it." "That's cheating." *giggle*

This whole exchange makes me so happy. Here are Tim and Lucy operating as a duo, tasked with a job, and Lucy finds a way to get out of the uncomfortable situation. Tim's "That's cheating" hearkens back to every bet they've ever made.

The subtitles have Lucy saying "mm-hmm", but I swear the first time I heard it (first thirty times I re-watched the scene), it was a giggle. I'm going with giggle.

Because this is the episode where Lucy has the giggles.

"You and Celina dating?"

And Tim, with the subtlety of a Rams fan at a 49er's bar on game-day, reminds us why there's no personal talk in the Shop. Tim's really bad at it.

I'm not going to transcribe Aaron's full response, but I love the way it set Tim on edge. I've talked, before, about how Eric Winter is one of those actors who acts through his fingers and toes. Bruce Willis is one of those, too. Just watch his feet in the early scenes of Die Hard. It's beautiful.

So, when Aaron starts talking about direct reports in a not so subtle hint that he knows all about those types of relationships, Tim gets nervous. It's not that he's afraid of being found out. But the more he's reminded of their biggest issue—one of them will have to leave.

And, don't get me wrong, the show'll probably find a way to work around that by taking Tim out of her chain-of-command but keeping him largely tied to the established team. But right now, Tim's fidgeting on the wheel.

And I swear when I watched it live I thought I heard the engine speeding up with Tim's anxiety.

"Remember this morning when dating in secret was our biggest problem?" "That feels like a million years ago."

Excuse me, ma'am, but isn't your camera on your chest recording everything you say!? I've always been worried about what they say near cameras, but Lucy's throwing caution RIGHT out.

"Did you talk to Aaron?" "Yeah." "And?" "He neither confirmed nor denied." "But?" "But he pointed out that it wouldn't be problematic because he's not her superior and doesn't fall in her chain of command." "Oh."

I get why they don't want to face it. Right now, they only see that as a separation. Those 12 hours a day where they've gotten to know one another, and have been able to see one another, and check on one another, and keep tabs on the other's welfare... gone.

It's a lot to lose even if they get to keep each other.

"Are you sure about this?" "I'm sure he's gonna kill her if we don't do something. Where's my distraction?" "It's ready and waiting."

I can hear Lucy in my head, "I don't like Plan B." But she understands that this is what needs to be done, and that this is their job. Sometimes, they have to put themselves in harm's way, and that a tragic occupational hazard.

But I love how this illustrates that they can still work together, even with the new layer to their relationship. Tim and Lucy are still Tim and Lucy.

"That's the signal."

And the trust that Lucy would be the one to hear the signal, and get everyone else ready to go. They've worked side-by-side for years. They have a natural rhythm there that's been earned. I totally understand why they don't want to lose that.

But it's inevitable... that day is coming. And neither can face it just yet.

"We both can't get out at the same time." "Okay, then you go first." "There's only room for one of us to be a hero, here, and I outrank you." "Sir, with all due respect, Lucy will kill me if I let you die, so I'm dead either way." "Get out of the Shop, Aaron!"

We've seen Aaron comment on the Tim/Lucy thing directly and indirectly, but this is flashing neon lights compared to those other times. He's basically saying, "She will literally murder for you, and I know it, and I don't want it to be me."

And I have to stop to applaud Aaron's ingenuity in finding a way to save Tim, too. Tim accepts his fate. He's military-trained, and he's a seasoned cop who understands the risks he takes every day.

But it wasn't his day to die, my friends. Not today.

"Well, I'm glad you didn't die."

This. Transition! I'm salivating over that transition from one scene to the next, through the glass. I'll admit, I'm a big fan of scenes that overlap and allow us to trade from one conversation to the next. It has always made me feel more like the world was real, and we were walking through it rather than bouncing around through non-stop scene-shifts.

No, you can't do this all the time. It'd become tired out. But, I love the choice, here. Again, I don't know if it was the writer, the director, or someone else who saw the opportunity and seized it, but I'm so glad they did!

"You owe me a redo on our date." "It's what gave me the will to live."

He's needling her. He's so needling her and it's so adorable. I know they have a lot of incredible scenes in this episode, but this one gave me all the feels.

This is secret dating era at its finest. Walking side-by-side and speaking words just for the other while knowing there's so much more going on under the surface. And I am here for it!

I love how he looks at her, waiting to see if he's going to get a reaction. Oh, she gives him a reaction!

"In my mind, I'm hitting you right now." "That's good to know."

Heart. Exploding. The cuteness!

PAUSE: Before we get to the end scene, can we talk about Nyla and James choosing Angela and Wesley to raise their daughter!? As soon as the conversation came up I was screaming at the television, "Pick Angela and Wesley!" And I'm so glad they did.

The power couples of The Rookie really got to show up and show out this week, and I wanted to acknowledge these four, too, even if they're not the focus of our Meta.

"I've been falling apart these days," says the music as we transition to a crane shot, establishing twinkle lights in trees (and those hanging bulb-style ones that I've been coveting for my new backyard ever since we moved in).

We sweep past the... is that a food truck!? Was I actually right about one thing in this bloody episode!? My only prediction that came true was that Tim and Lucy would try to have their date, things would go wrong, and they'd end up at a food truck. I'll take the win since everything else's been a loss for me, predictions-wise.

The Rookie 2, Rachel 1.

We sweep over to Tim and Lucy in the most casually-intimate (it's a thing) position with those high stools. Tim's got his let completely wrapped on the other side of Lucy's, and one of hers is crossed with a foot on his chair.

They don't wear fashionable clothes. Lucy's hair isn't styled. The conditions are less structured and more beautifully chaotic, like the twinkle lights dangling just shy of perfection—but no less perfect in that imperfection.

Tim and Lucy are at ease.

This is the heart of Tim and Lucy's transition. Before, they were trying to do it without all the information on the table, and within the confines of what they thought they needed.

Instead, they've found themselves in metal chairs exposed to the elements, facing the less-than-romantic view of a parking lot, and they couldn't be happier.

I must observe that they don't eat or drink a thing during this scene. The props are simply props, and I always find it fascinating when a scene calls for actual eating versus the implication of eating.

"Streets of Vietnam." *giggle* "That's where we ended up."

For some reason, the caption says "Treats of Vietnam" even though Eric Winter clearly emphasizes the "S" on "Streets".

But, if you're following along and hard of hearing or deaf, I wanted to make that clarification. His words, indeed, do match the signage on the food truck.

And Lucy is giggling, again.

"So, I guess this is our official first date." "Mmm, last night was. For sure. I mean, it's a better story for the grandkids."

Watch. Tim's. Face. He dated Ashley for ages before finding out she had no interest in marriage or kids—two things that mean a lot to him.

And Lucy, beautiful Lucy, is telling him on their second date that she can't wait to share this story with their grandkids.

And I've seen people say, "Oh, what happened to taking it slow?" Welp, you can be in an emotional place separate from a physical place, and that's just fine. She wants to savor every second of this.

This relationship is full of "last firsts". Last first date. Last first kiss. Last first time sleeping together.

If you knew that going into a relationship, wouldn't you want to savor every second? Really live in the moments to form lasting memories rather than rushing through?

"We've got grandkids, now." *giggle* "Nice."

Ooooh, the giggling has got me in a chokehold!

And I'm floored by the confidence Lucy has with Tim. Before, we saw so much hesitation from her in taking big steps, especially with Chris. Hell, I don't know that I recall her ever calling him her "boyfriend".

With Tim, none of that exists. Yes, they had some butterflies to get through in the beginning. But part of what makes this relationship work is how it has been earned and built.

They didn't start day one of their Rookie/TO relationship making moony-eyes at one another. They built layers over time, like the most beautiful crepe tower cake.

Yes, I know it's a weird metaphor, but I like baking shows. And the best part about a crepe tower cake is that you make each crepe one at a time before binding it to the others to form a stack. And sometimes the crepes aren't the prettiest. You might burn one a little. But it still goes into the stack, and it still helps build a beautiful finished product.

Tim and Lucy have built this relationship bit by bit. That's why everything rings true so effortlessly, now.

"Do not break into that car."

I. Started. CACKLING. Much as the cold open had me in stitches, this is the line that slays me every time. Crochety, worn-out Tim comes out on that line.

It's like, "Look, do you see this stunningly gorgeous, amazing, tough-as-nails woman beside me? I'd like to have one date, just ONE where I'm not pulling out cuffs for work purposes".

"Hey, moron!"

Foley artist, I love you. Or if it was recorded audio at the scene, I love whoever did that because even the SOUND of the metal clanging as the perp retreats had me in stitches. This was such a beautiful moment for so many reasons.

First of all, Tim is always going to be Tim. Thank God. I abhor when shows destroy the characters the second they get in a relationship (no, I'm not naming names... Metas make you squeel and laugh. We don't need the negativity, here).

Second, Tim just made the choice to be a man instead of a cop in this moment. Now, if it was a dangerous criminal, I'm sure Tim would have done something, as he did on their first date. But, for Tim "Supercop" Bradford to choose the girl... it's such a huge metaphor for what's coming.

Tim's job has seemed like the most important thing for so long, especially since he finally went after Sergeant, and continues to work despite being eligible for Retirement. But some things matter more.

Friends, Lucy matters more.

"You know, he's just going to break into a car in a different neighborhood." "Well, then some other cop can arrest him."

Pause. Just pause right here and look at Tim's face as he gazes upon Lucy. That twinkle is back in his eyes. And, yes, I'm aware it's probably studio lights set up for this shot. Don't ruin my magic!!

But Tim Bradford is finally looking into the eyes of a woman who will love him as much as he will love her. She will call him on his bullshit, care for his wounds, follow him into the fire, and stand by his side through whatever life throws at them.

They both knew that when they took this leap, they could never, ever go back. It's a constant plunge into the unknown, and with every level deeper they go, it only cements their bond.

Tim and Lucy were never going to work as friends-with-benefits, or a casual thing. They're Endgame. And they both know it.

He reaches for her face with his left hand. The same hand that wanted to hold her face the first time they kissed, but hesitated. He's telegraphing his moves and giving her space to pull back, to tell him to stop, to let him know she's not ready.

But Lucy is ready for this next step.

His right hand resting somewhere between her knee and thigh, the other hand tangling in her hair as he gently tugs her toward him, he leans in for their last first kiss—together.

And Lucy smiles before their lips touch, because this is so damn sweet. This is the beginning of yet another phase for them. And as they share that beautiful moment, we fade to black.

And here we have the last thing I was wrong about—the episode didn't end with Lucy covered in blood.

Look, I called the kiss (so I hope that balances things out a little), but I have a lot of ship trauma. For goodness sake, look at Wash and Zoe from Firefly/Serenity. He wasn't a leaf on the wind... he was a corkboard for the world's largest push-pin.

So, I was pleasantly surprised we faded out to black with our favorite couple intact and happy.

One thing that The Rookie has done really well with its core relationships is allowing them to face issues as a couple.

Nyla and James were rockstars at the bank, but they also worked through the very real issue of who should care for their child in the event of their death. That's something all parents grapple with.

And then Wesley and Angela working through the conversations of when (and whether) to add children to their family. I suffer from infertility, so all three of our children were planned for, prayed for, and provided by nice doctors with catheters and egg timers (I wish I was joking about that last part).

So whatever Tim and Lucy are going to face, I have confidence that they will face it together. They aren't going to suddenly stop communicating, break up, and date other people. This is Season 5B and as of yet, there's no assurance of a Season 6. It's the perfect time to cement them as a couple, explore the obstacles they overcome, and allow the fans to bask in the breadsticks (double breadsticks according to the Roll-o-Meter).

Because, y'all, we ATE.

As always, thank you for reading. This one was a lot of fun to watch and write. And, special shout out to my husband who let me squirrel away for the hour (which is right at our kids' bedtime) so I could squeal in real-time!

See y'all on the next!

[moviepixie]

Barbie

Subtitle: Is Barbie Worth the hype

Now, I am one of the biggest Barbie enjoyers. I was even contemplating going to watch this in the cinema. I've heard people call this the greatest movie. But I'm here to give you the truth. If you look on the internet, this movie has a three-star review. A balance of five stars and 1 star and hardly any in between. This is my honest review.

********************************************************

To start with, I believe that the movie had some key points. I did enjoy Barbie because she could be whatever she wanted to be. I enjoyed looking at her life and watching almost every movie she had. However, ten minutes into the movie, I had to take a break. One thing people know about me is that I hate when things get political. Even if you must put it in a movie, I'd prefer it to be subtle and not loud.

The start of the movie felt like a lecture. The whole thing about Barbie's life being perfect every day and Ken's day only being perfect if Barbie looked at him felt too far-fetched. To add to that, there was a line saying that a pregnant doll is just too weird. I don't know what they were getting at but I felt like I was being lectured.

I got so tired of listening that I had to put the movie on 1.5x speed to get through it.

I gathered that this movie is more about Men being bad and the patriarchy being bad. It's also about women being good and the Matriarchy being better. Every single stereotype was rolled into a movie and spat at me as a watcher. Not to mention in the movie when Barbie was told that she sent feminism back 40 years or something, she just ran and cried. It also portrayed men as stupid.

It also has this narrative that in the real world, everyone hates women. There was also a part where they said that Ken was absolutely useless. Look I prefer the original series. I never looked down on Ken nor did I look down on Barbie. I loved how independent Barbie was and Ken didn't have to be put down so that Barbie could shine.

The next area of complaint is that when Ken reversed Barbie land and treated Barbie the way she treated him, she broke down about it She didn't like feeling unimportant which is kind of ironic. Not to mention that when everything fell apart, all she could do was lay flat on her face and sob. Nothing like the Barbie that I remember. I don't mind the sobbing but Barbie was never one to give up!

Not to mention that the solution to understanding all this was to rant about how impossible it was for it to be a woman. Now I'm not going to get into politics because I hate it and I hate talking about politics but this movie was a waste of an hour and 48 minutes of my life.

I went in with as little expectation as possible and was met with a word vomit of why the matriarchy is better and why men are bad and women should be in charge of everything. It wasn't my cup of tea and I'm honestly glad I didn't go and watch it in the cinema. I wouldn't have made it to the end.

I know I’m the end there was some sort of reparation but honestly, I’m over the movie.

Look, you can be anything you want to be regardless of your gender and no matter what you do either as a man or a woman, someone is always going to have something to say about you. Life is difficult for everyone and while Barbie does highlight some key struggles, it doesn't paint the full picture. All it does is show a certain portion that will please society. If the film was not aimed at making a statement then it wouldn't be an issue. The movie aimed at making a statement instead of making a correct statement. Men and women are unique in their own ways and face different sets of problems. That is my own opinion.

I wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone but feminists and quite honestly, it was made for them. I wouldn't watch it again and if not for this review, I would have quit at the first 10 minutes. It’s not my cup of tea. You can promote feminism in a way that doesn't come up as lecturing, you can promote feminism in a way that does not put men down. It's safe to say that I'll never watch this movie again. I will never recommend it to people close to me and unless you're really into blatant lectures on why women have it harder than men, I wouldn't recommend it to you. I would rate this movie a 2.9/10 and that's because some parts were funny to me. It’s my opinion, if you liked the movie then good on you.

Crushes from the movie: you guessed it, none.

[theangiediary]

people you'd like to know better tag thank youu @deanwinchesterpregnant @dyed-red

Last song: Outta Time - Natalia Kills (really the whole Trouble album) ((it IS a Dean song btw))

Currently watching: I've been having a weird time with visual media recently. Saw and disliked Barbie*, saw and loved Steel Magnolias. Very casually trying to get through late seasons spn.

Currently reading: Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir. It's good, a little slow. A friend recommended it so I'm trying to get through before I see him in a couple weeks so we can talk about it.

Current obsession: uh. Kink, maybe? Honestly I haven't had a good obsession in a minute, I miss it 😔 but I'm exploring that right now. Went to a waxplay workshop earlier this week, camp later in August (if you're a east coaster and know what I'm talking about... Uh hiii 👀). Getting myself so many presents :)

Tagging: I've seen many moots hit already so taking the lame way out and saying: if you see this, consider yourself tagged!

*Barbie critique (don't read it if you liked the movie ok I'm a hater it will just upset you) ⤵️

It was fine, for an ad. By their own admission Mattel has been struggling as a business, so this- along with the theme park they're building- is to create a "Universe" rather than just physical dolls. The in-movie criticism of Mattel doing things for money doesn't it not true. Look at the sheer volume of collabs, commericals, etc that's happening.

(Same with the "if you want to make this point about not being pretty don't hire Margot Robbie!". Like, cute 🙄. You still did though.)

And as a dyke I was irritated by the treatment of 'weird Barbie'. I had bad vibes from the trailer where Kate offered the Birkenstocks as "truth" and the heels as "ignorance". And the other Barbies calling her "broken" bc she "got played with too hard".... making her only role in Dreamland to "fix" other Barbies while being sooo scary..... ew.

Which leads me to something that really irritates me: people calling this movie "queer"! No! Obviously Weird Barbie (played by a lesbian, and since it relies so heavily on star power/meta it's pretty clear what they were doing) treated poorly, and then Alan.. well. I know some Twitter Gays/Bi love to be "ooh I'm so pathetic and scared 🥺" so great rep for them, but the Kens dance being "homoerotic" after immediately following his rampant misogyny, creepiness/sexualization of Barbie, etc is not, in my opinion, good!

The second half overall was just bad. Ferrera's speech was basic (we've been saying that for 40 years. Happy for you if it you took something from it but did nothing for me). Hated the "Girlbossing through playing a bimbo honeypot" 🙄. Sarcastically grateful that Ken thought the patriarchy was horses otherwise he might have put up a fight! And don't even.. listen I was ready for Barbie not to be Confirmed trans/ace/aro, okay I'm not an idiot, put the final moment being a bait and switch- "is she going to a job interview? NO big bright smile for the gynecologist!" made me so angry. They really said "human womanhood is defined by a pussy 🙂 Please still be pretty, hairless, and happy 🙂". Are you kidding me? #feminism ????

A much better film about womanhood, growing up, and mother-daughter relationships and frankly, queer rep, is Steel Magnolias (1989). Hooo boy. Actually cried. Without spoiling it bc you should watch it, the characters actually had personalities, and conflict, and it felt like you could (and would want to) walk right into Truvy's beauty shop and be part of something. Ouiser was my favorite of course.

[bdbdhdjdhdh]

My Hero PSLE: Episode 4 "Uh oh, we're in hot water now"

"Why isn't there a pregnant barbie doll? Because Ken came in a different box,"

-John

Yep.

So anyway Xiao Ming and friends failed every single WA. D7s or lower sia.

Aaaaannnnndddd of course the sigina (apparently Zhi Hua) had to get all A1. Then he still want to come over and hao lian.

"Oi, Xiao Ming! How much you get? I got A1 leh.. you know!"

"."

"Nani? Why you not saying anything?"

"Chao ni ma de,"

Said Xiao Ming as he left for their next subject... OH FINALLY IT'S TIME FOR PRACTICAL HANDS-ON!

Meaning we get to actually learn how to control our powers! Ya know, that's like the main reason they went there! To the goddamm school!

So anyway Xiao Ming and his friends left for Practical hands-on lesson in the field.

And the cher that got Xiao Ming in this school in the first place is now their Practical cher.

Oh great.

Mr Lee. No shit, classic cher name.

So for the first lesson he wanted them to understand the limitations of their abilities.

Aaaannnnndddd then of course when the lesson is actually going not so bad, there's always that one person who has to ruin everything.

And again it's that xiaozarbor.

"So cher, you talk so much but you never even do anything! What is your ability ah?"

And then at this point the cher is always offended one. Like when you ask why their ex left them or why they still haven't found their dad for 498 years.

So the cher says nothing. *insert visibly offended meme here*

*visible frustration*

Then suddenly the xiaozarbor raised his hand and stripped himself. So now he's butt naked.

Then his legs started running him around the track.

All while he was screaming, "SORRY CHER I'M REALLY SORRY PLEASE LET ME GO!"

"Lmao, enjoy your run!" Said Xiao Ming and friends. Yeah no shit that sigina should enjoy his run.

"My power," Mr Lee spoke. "Is the ability to read, see and control anything the moonlight has touched to a certain limit,"

And then the sigina still wanna talk more. "BUT CHER, HOW CAN! MY PARENTS VERY EXTRA KIASU, MAKE SURE I NEVER TOUCHED THE MOONLIGHT, HOW CAN ONE!"

And then Mr Lee just made a very alpha male move. "Chao ni ma de lah, go read some godamn science books! The moonlight is just the sunlight reflected, goddammit!"

"Oh...ok..." So he have to run 200000 rounds around the track.

And then it was time for proper lesson. All Xiao Ming and friends had to do was to simply stretch their abilities to the max, to see what their limitations were.

So first it was... already Xiao Ming liao. Wah sia sui leh. And how the hell was he supposed to test his power? So the cher said he would let Zhi Hua become his test subject.

He would put him to sleep (sus) , then test Xiao Ming's capabilities to stretch his limits.

Have to see a lot of different aspects one, like amount of time he can stay in the state, what are his limitations when it comes to creating different environments and summons in people's minds, blahrdi blah.

Oh but since Zhi Hua wouldn't remember anything, he could infinitely torture him and no one would be able to say anything.

Ya know...

[zaksdolls]

Día de los Muertos Barbie 2021

So even though I was fine not having bought Día de los Muertos Barbie 2021 last year I still kept searching for it on eBay and other sites just to see how much she was going for. I was always surprised just how many sellers there were with dozens of dolls for sale. I remember one seller supposedly had over 128 available.

A few weeks ago, I saw a listing with multiples for a decent price. They even had "Best Offer" available. Felt a bit cheeky and sent them an offer. I was absolutely certain they would reject me as always.

Well, they accepted my offer and I had to pay for it. 🙃

Doll finally came in and remember when I complained about Mattel's packaging for Día de los Muertos Ken? How putting the doll package in a cardboard box without extra protection seemed irresponsible? Yeah. That's nothing compared to this:

Thankfully, aside from smooshed corners, everything was a-okay!

And here she is. She's prettier in person and I don't regret my foolishness as much anymore.

Call me silly, but I was honestly a little skeptical that this was an actual Mattel collector Barbie. I saw so so many sellers with so so many available dolls for months and months that I had it in the back of my head that these weren't authentic and could maybe possibly be knock offs? But she's the real deal as far as I can tell.

Anywho, a closer look! Her hair is nice and soft, but a mess. I love the chest painting and wished it would extend a bit further. The dress and embroidered fabric are all cotton. Because of the interfacing, and embroidery itself, the top is a bit stiff.

A closer look at the embroidery, printed design, her awesome skull bracelet (I'd like one in human size please), and earrings.

She's very colorful and I love it. The thing I hate most is the overlock stitched hems. It just looks so cheap to me! I also wish she came with an underskirt or crinoline to give her dress shape. I guess I'll have to do that myself.

After a wash and some ironing to flatten down the top ruffle, here she is:

She is quite pretty and while I do regret paying for her, I don't regret getting her, if that makes sense.*

I am genuinely content with her which is a shock. I guess it's because I didn't pay full price.

*I'm cheap is what I'm saying

[stray-kids-react]

You go into little space

Masterlist

...

Bang Chan

* Protective caretaker mode has been activated, no matter what the situation is. *

° Chan came home from work, throwing his keys onto the kitchen counter. Soon noticing a cute crayon note stuck to the fridge with a magnet, 'Hi daddy! I hope work was good. I am in the room drawing, come join me!'

* Chan knew about little space, and understood that it was a way of you calming down from any stress. He was always willing to take care of you, and never got annoyed or weirded out like some people did. *

° Chan walked into the bedroom, noticing cute little stick fairies stuck all over the walls. Your tongue stuck out as you focused on coloring in one of the fairies dresses. Too focused to notice your care taker admiring you from afar.

"Hey princess/prince charming, did you draw these?"

° You nodded shyly, looking at the floor worried that he would be upset at the new decorations. But you relaxed when he cupped your face, pecking the top of your head softly.

"They look amazing y/n, which one is your favorite?"

° You pointed to the glittery blue fairy with large pigtails, unsticking it from the wall to hand it to him.

"That's mine too! I love the glitter, that was a nice touch."

Lee Know

* Is already whipped for you, but becomes even more soft when you go into little space*

° You were in the middle of shopping, when he noticed you shift into a more clingy and innocent faze. Minho looked at you with softened eyes, asking if you were alright. "Can we visit that store, please daddy?"

*Once Minho found out that you would sometimes go into little space, he researched everything about it to make sure he knew what to do. Constantly praising you for not being bratty or a bad girl/boy. *

° Minho guided you to the pajama store, wrapping his hand around your wrist gently. You skipped towards the sleeping masks, passing him a panda one and grabbing a cute glittery cat one for yourself.

"Does daddy look like this mask? Or do I look more like yours?"

° You tugged at the panda one, jumping up and down on the floor. Giggling excitedly when he would poke his face out from the mask, sometimes sticking his tongue out at you and making derp faces.

"Can we please get them? I really like this one~" You begged, pouting slightly.

° Minho loved seeing your bright smile, so he took it a step further and let you pick out one more. Chuckling when you clapped in joy.

"Let's go to the cash, and then we can go get some donuts. How does that sound munchkin?"

Changbin

* Changbin adored when you went into little space, always playing around with you. *

° You knew that Changbin was coming home in a couple minutes, and you decided to hide from him wanting to see if he could find you. Grabbing a flashlight, so you wouldn't be scared of the dark while in the closet.

*Changbin was really curious about little space, and let you explain everything to him. The next day, buying you a whole bunch of stuffies and glittery stickers. Letting you put one on his laptop, not planning on removing it anytime soon. *

° He walked in, noticing the empty bowl of ice cream with sprinkles left over. Changbin clued in that you were probably in little space, and played along with your hide & seek prank. Even though he could hear your small giggles from the closet.

"I wonder where my cutie pie went? Is she/he in the kitchen?"

° You jumped out of the closet with a cute rawr, making him "scream" in "fear". Placing a hand over his heart dramatically, he repeatedly praised you for being so "intimidating".

"I practiced my rawring all day, I wanted to surprise you daddy."

° He adored when you got all giddy after getting a reaction out of him, only encouraging him to be more dramatic each time. Sometimes even falling to the floor when you jump out of an obvious hiding spot.

"Get ready for supper cutie pie, I bought you your favorite pizza."

Hyunjin

* Loves when you go into little space, Becuase you both play around and he gets extra cuddles*

° You just woke up from a nap and wanted some attention, and you just so happened to jump into little space when you woke up. So you secretly grabbed one of your tiaras and planned on secretly placing it on Hyunjin.

*Hyunjin didn't know what little space was at first, so he let you guide him through all of the facts and duties of being a caretaker. He enjoyed when you became clingy, and used your light baby voice when asking for stuff. *

° Hyunjin immediately got into the character of a prince, assuming you were in little space. Voicing some of the barbies you brought out, and kissing a soft frog stuffed animal so it could turn back into a human.

"As prince of Amercanodale, I declare that Ken shall be released from jail."

° You soon grabbed different doll clothes, asking Hyunjin which one your dolls should wear. Asking for help with braiding the doll's hair, which he happily did along with some of his own hair.

"Can I bedazzle your hair? I have cute clips to use in it!"

° Hyunjin always allowed you to play with his hair, whether you be in little space of not. Loving that feeling of you stroking through his locks, and looking at him with only admiration and love.

"Use as many clips as you want beautiful, you can even use that hair chalk if you want."

Han

* Accidently found out about you going into little space, when he found your sticker stash*

° Jisung noticed your small pout throughout the day, noticing that you ran out of stickers and were in little space. He wanted to cheer you up so he took you onto a trip to the nearest dollar store, letting you pick out some stickers.

* Jisung knew about the basic things of Little Space, but never really looked into it until he found out that you used it as a stress relieving mechanism. He won't tell the members unless you are comfortable with it*

° You specifically picked out a pack of animal stickers that included some squirrels, sticking one on his cheek once he bought them for you. Pointing out that he reminds you of the sticker that you stuck on him.

"I look like the squirrel?... As long as you like squirrels than it's okay. *Chuckles*"

° You kissed the sticker on his cheek, and soon went on a rant about how much you love squirrels. Mentioning their fluffy tails, and cute cheeks that hold so much food. Not realizing how long you were ranting.

"Do you like Squirrels? Or are you more of a chipmunk lover?"

° Jisung thought wisely about which option would offend you the least, soon going with the most neutral answer. Explaining that he likes both and finds them just as cute as you do, loving the way your eyes sparkled in joy.

"Even though they are both cute, nothing can compare to my little squish y/n."

Felix

* The cutest and cuddliest caretaker ever, loves when you become his own personal backpack and pillow*

° You were both heading home from dinner with the boys, and by the last ten minutes he noticed you switch into little space. Getting hints by your constant clingy hugs, and never letting go of his hand.

* You told him about your shifts little space when you were serious enough in the relationship. Letting all of the anxiety you had leave your body, when he simply nodded and sent you a soft reassuring smile. *

° Felix tucked you under the soft sheets of your shared bed, brushing away any stray hairs from your face. Letting you choose a bedtime story to read to you, rubbing a soft circle across your stomach as he read aloud.

"The prince left a soft kiss upon aurora's lips, watching as her lovely eyes fluttered open."

° Felix constantly glanced at your increasingly tired state, thanks to mixture of his deep soothing voice and soft delicate hands. His hand trained up to your cheek, pressing his thumb against the corner of your lips.

"Before I go to sleep, can I have a goodnight kiss? Pleeeaassee~"

° Felix giggled at your dramatic begging, but caved into your needy yet calm cuteness. Placing small playful pecks all over your face, before landing his last one across your smile gently. Staying on your lips for a couple seconds longer than the rest.

"Goodnight sleeping beauty, wake me if you need anything. Even if it's just cuddles."

Seungmin

* Spoils you when you are in little space, just because you are too cute to say no too. *

° Hyunjin won a bet against Seungmin, so he had to go out and buy a toy for Kkami. You tagged along because you wanted to spend time with Seungmin and see some cute kittens. But you shifted into little space while looking at the kittens and babying them.

* Seungmin clued into small habits and hints you showed while going into little space, such as changing your voice, pouting, & being 10× more hyper than usual. Soon bringing emergency toys, just in case. *

° Seungmin asked an employee if you were able to hold one of the kittens, soon getting an answer when he unlocked the cage that the small kitten slept in. You held it close to you, making small baby noises during it.

"I wonder if Hyunjin would get mad if we came home with a kitten instead of a toy."

° You heard his sentence, but you were too focused on making the kitten purr louder for affection. Soon exclaiming in joy when it cuddled into your hand, making Seungmin comb his fingers through the soft fur.

"I think it likes me! Or maybe it just wants food... Either way I'm getting cuddles~"

° Seungmin saw the kitten a while back when he went shopping with Hyunjin for dog food, and knew that it needed someone who would love it unconditionally. So he ended up driving home with and furry lump asleep on his lap.

"We're home and brought something extra special, I hope Kkami doesn't mind cat fur."

Jeongin

*The only time he will let you call him oppa or daddy, understanding it's part of Little space*

° You were terrified of the loud storm that was happening outside, so you rushed to your boyfriend's dorm to try and calm down. Bringing a couple extra presents while in your child like splurge of ideas.

*Jeongin enjoyed playing with you, loving the innocent gaze you gave everytime he used a big word. Sometimes he would shift into little space with you without realizing, but he secretly enjoyed the feeling *

° Jeongin turned on a couple flashlights while strapping on the adorable hat you brought, asking if your wanted any drinks or snacks. Holding your hand while walking to the kitchen for some chips and soda.

" You don't have to be scared of anything, oppa is right here and won't let anything happen."

° You nodded still a bit cautious thanks to the booming thunder outside, but that only led to him holding onto you closer while walking back to the room. Shooing your irrational scary thoughts away.

"You're the best oppa ever Innie, thanks for the yummy snacks and cuddles."

° He played music off of his phone to try and distract you from the loud storm outside, feeding you chips and giving a cute bendy straw for your drink. Chuckling silently when you fell asleep with crumbs all over you.

"You such a cute little sunshine y/n, have a good rest cutie."