#plus as always I did some aesthetic treats!

[redtsundere-writes]

Favorite Client | Nanami Kento

nanami kento x f!reader

Sypnosis: You fell in love with one of your customers but you don't know if he feels the same way.

Contents: Coffee Shop AU, fluff, Nanami is a nice bussiness man.

Word Count: 1509 words.

Author's Note: Ilhsm.

You opened your own cafe a couple months ago. On opening day, you were very nervous because you didn't know if your coffee or desserts would be enough to compete against the other popular cafes in Tokyo. The nervousness vanished when you met your favorite client. 

There weren't many customers that first day. Some family members and friends came to support your business. Plus, some curious people who had seen the advertisement stopped by. The decoration was not the problem. It was granny's house themed. It was very cozy and aesthetically pleasing. “Don't worry, this is just the first day,” you thought. 

One hour before closing, a tall, serious, blonde man entered the establishment. His wrinkled suit, slight bags under his eyes, and the way he loosely held his briefcase signaled that he had just gotten off work and was very tired. You had to make sure he felt relaxed in your cafe. 

"Welcome, what can I offer you?" You said along with a corporate smile. The man pulled on the knot of his tie to loosen it as he closely inspected the menu. 

“Give me a cappuccino with whole milk and…” His eyes scanned the bar until he reached the display with delicious and colorful desserts.

"They all look tasty, I don't know which one to pick," he said. You genuinely smiled when you heard that. It was the first compliment coming from a client. 

"My favorite is the raspberry muffin. It's sweet but not too sweet. I know because I baked them," you explained proud of yourself. 

"I'll trust you. A raspberry muffin, please," he asked politely. 

"Your name, please?" you asked to complete his order. It took you a moment to realize that wasn't necessary because the place was empty. Your cheeks blushed in embarrassment. 

"Nevermind, I don't think it's necessary," you said with a shy smile trying to hide your nervousness. 

"Nanami," he told you his name before paying you. He might be tired but he wouldn't retaliate against a girl because of his problems at work. 

"Your order will be ready in a minute, Nanami," you said happily thinking that he didn't notice your mishap. He did notice, he just decided not to say anything about it. 

After that day, you started seeing him more often as the months went by. Sometimes in the morning, sometimes in the afternoon, even sometimes on weekends. Even though you had your fill of customers, Nanami was definitely your favorite because he always made sure to order something different, which is unusual in other customers. Also, he always asked how your day was and left a good tip before leaving. 

You hadn't had many opportunities to chat with him, but with every interaction you couldn't help but think about how attractive and sweet he was. Nanami could make you smile with his simple presence and make you sigh when he left the cafe. You wished you could get closer to him but you didn't want to make him uncomfortable, so you just admired him drinking his coffee and eating peacefully from the cash register. 

You were closing up the shop at the end of a busy day when you heard someone try to force open the front door that you had already locked . It was Nanami. You quickly get to it to open it. To your surprise, he looked extremely exhausted, almost defeated. Your heart broke seeing him in that state for the first time. 

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was already 8," He apologized in a low voice while looking at his expensive watch. 

"Please come in, Nanami. You are always invited here," you told him to encourage him to get in so you could treat him to a cup of coffee. He hesitated coming in thinking he would be abusing your kindness, but decided to let you treat him because you already opened the door for him. 

You served him a cup of americano and a slice of carrot cake. You decided to take a seat with your respective cup as well since you weren't working now. This time you weren’t serving a customer, you were catching up with a friend. 

"Are you okay?," you worried about his physical condition. 

"I hate my job, I really hate it," he snorted before picking up his cup. Your great coffee really improved his day in ways you had no idea.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't tell you those things," He said, embarrassed for dumping his work problems on you. 

"It’s okay, please treat me like a friend," you tried to calm him down. 

"Complaining is a healthy habit. Sometimes you have to let out the negative in order to keep the positive," you explained, preparing yourself to be the ear Nanami needed in that moment of distress. 

He started complaining about his job and his terrible new boss who kept harassing him with endless amounts of paperwork. Then, he complained about how expensive everything is and how horrible the rental system is in Japan because of the “key money” issue. Then he started complaining about his mother's ridiculous requests. 

"I'm tired of the same bullshit. “Kento, you should settle down,” “Kento, there's a cute girl in my book club,” “Kento, this,” “Kento, that,” He commented, noticeably tired of the environment that surrounded him. You couldn't help but be surprised that he complained about him being single. 

"Are you single?," you asked, still surprised. Then you realized that maybe you shouldn't have asked him that, since it could be a very personal topic. 

"I mean, you are very handsome, have a good job and a nice personality. I didn't think you would have problems finding a partner," you explained why you asked. Nanami smiled when you called him handsome.

“Thanks. It's not that I can’t get dates. It’s because my work is eating me alive right now," he explained. You nodded understanding his complicated position. 

"Besides, I'm interested in someone right now," he said with a slight blush appearing on his cheeks. 

"Oh, really? I'm happy for you, Nanami! You always have good taste in desserts, you surely also have good taste in women," you said to lighten the conversation. You were happy for him, but inside you were jealous of that woman who had caught his attention. You wished you were her. 

"I still don't know if this person has a partner though," he said unsure. 

"Why don't you check her social media? Maybe you'll find your answer that way," you suggested before drinking your coffee. 

"That's a good idea," Nanami took out his cell phone from his jacket. 

"What is your Instagram account?" he asked you. You spit out the coffee the moment you realized what he was implying. Nanami had practically confessed to you.

He got to you quickly to help you clean yourself up when he noticed the reaction he had caused you. You started coughing because some of the coffee went to the opposite side of your throat. He quickly went to the kitchen to get you a glass of water. 

"I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have insinuated you that way," you shook your head once you stopped coughing. 

"Don't apologize, I just didn't expect you would be attracted to me," you couldn’t grasp the idea of Nanami liking you back. You felt like you were dreaming. 

"How can I not be attracted to you? You are the kindest, warmest and most beautiful  girl I have ever met. From the moment I saw you, my heart felt that you should be mine," he finally confessed something he had been holding back for several months. Your heart skipped a beat with love and you felt your body getting warm by his kind words. 

"I want you to be mine too," you sigh in love. You wanted to confess what you felt for him every time he walked through the door with his briefcase in hand, his blonde hair somewhat disheveled, and his elegant gray suit. You waited a really long time to tell him. 

Nanami did not hesitate to make your wish come true. He gently took you by the chin to direct you to his lips. It started as a sweet and affectionate smooch to show each other the love that was long hidden in your hearts. Kiss by kiss, it turned into a passionate kiss. 

Nanami was desperate to touch you and feel your body against his, but he didn't want to do anything that would make you uncomfortable. Also, it didn't help that the cafe had a large window that exposed your first romantic act to the street. Nanami held back, but he was very happy to finally have you to himself. 

Your hands traveled across his chest, making their way to his broad shoulders and down his back. His strong hands ran over your waist and back to bring you closer to him. Your bodies and minds were in perfect harmony. You were the ideal couple since that night. He loved you very much and you were not far behind.

Order your own fanfic!

Masterlist.

[loveshotzz]

Punk!Steve Harrington x fem!goth reader

She’s Automatic

Summary: you’re always hot and cold but Steve can’t seem to get enough.

Warnings: 18 plus (no minors), weed smoking, mentions of drinking, smut, unprotected sex (wrap it up), cream pie. Steve has nipple piercings 😈 the picture in the banner is not representative of readers skin tone, just used for aesthetic purposes. No skin tone is mentioned in this story.

Word count: 1.7k

Authors note: punk!steve has had me in a chokehold for weeks now. This is what you get because of it. Thank you to my wife @myobmaya for her laundry list of ideas. Also just wanted to thank @multiwongi for being nice enough to let me use their punk!steve edit in my banner, they have the best edits of him. Go follow!

Steve wanted you, making it more then obvious every time he’d drag his clearly very over stimulated friend to the bar. Hazel eyes lined with black always greedily taking in your curves. Watching the way you’d stretch and bend down behind the bar in tight leather skirts and cut up shirts leaving little to the imagination. Lug boots coming up to your thighs fishnets always covering the rest.

You entertained Steve’s flirting some nights, noticing the way his eyes would always catch the silver metal of your tongue piercing. It was fun to watch him get flustered when you’d lay it on just as thick. Even with his menacing appearance he was just another fumbling boy. On other nights you’d treated him as if he was nothing but a fly on the wall, going about your job like he wasn’t desperate to catch your attention. Never knowing what version of you he was going to get, the chase kept him hooked.

It had been a particularly long day, already staring down the barrel of an even longer night when Steve strutted up to bar. Lean legs covered in a pair of ripped black jeans, the snug fit leaving little to the imagination of what was underneath. His Leather jacket wrapped around his broad shoulders like butter, covered in patches of bands you’d never admit to him you liked. The white tank top underneath just sheer enough to see the outline of his hidden tattoos, a thick smattering of dark chest hair peaking out from the top. Pierced lips turning up into a smile, he had no idea tonight was finally his night.

“Well, well, well if it isn’t my knight in shining armor.” Kicking it off with a lean over the counter and a flutter of your lashes. Steve’s eyes widen not expecting you to be so warm. The last time he was here you’d ignored any sound of his voice, finally settling for Robin to order the drinks to which you responded to her almost immediately.

“Oh? I’m not a mute today?” Taking a seat on the stool in front of you, his tone is teasing but the smirk on his face tells you that you could ignore him any day of the week, and he’d still come crawling back just for you to look at him like this.

“Aww did I hurt your feelings Steve?” Giving him puppy eyes you jut out your black stained lip. “I didn’t mean it, sometimes I just like to be mean to boys. Nothing personal, promise.” Flashing him a devilish grin, his Adam’s apple bobs under his skin.

“I think I might be able to find it in my heart to forgive you gorgeous.” The blunt ends of his chipped black nails drum against the counter, his pink tongue darting out to play with the hoops sitting on the side of his bottom lip. “A think a shot of whiskey and a beer should really seal the deal.”

You knew the metal head he’d bring in here sometimes sold weed or at least had access to it, always smelling like he’d spent his whole day in a hot box. Your mood had you desperate for something the wasn’t liquor and Steve was probably your best shot.

“I’ve got a proposition for you.” Pushing yourself closer on your tippy toes, Steve’s breath catches in his throat.

“I’m-I’m listening.” Coughing into the back of his hand he tries to cover the nerves in the cracks of his voice.

“I’ve had a super shitty day, and there’s nothing I’d love more than a giant fat blunt.” Popping the T with emphasis you watch his eyes glaze over. “I bet someone like you could help me out with that yeah?”

Nodding eagerly you have to bite back your smile. “Maybe after work? I’ll help you out with these drinks, and can you help me out with my needs?” Looking up from under the hood of your lashes you trace your top lip with the tip of your tongue.

Eyes catching the metal in your mouth in it’s full form, he has to bite back his moan at the thought of what it would feel like against his skin.

Steve’s quick to nod, his love sick smile sealing the deal and with a wink you go and get him those promised drinks.

—

One short trip on the L and a half smoked blunt later is how you end up riding Steve’s porn star sized cock. In nothing but your fishnets with a hole ripped in the crotch courtesy of him, you bounce on it with the kind of vigor that has his toes curling at the end of his bed.

Blunt dangling from your lips your nails rake through his smattering of chest hair, eyes hungrily taking in the ink that covered almost every inch of his naturally sun kissed skin. The metal bars in his nipples catch in the glow of the TV in his room, a stream of late night music videos forgotten. Taking a long drag you roll your hips in a circle purposely clenching yourself around the base of him. Nails digging into the tops of your thighs, a breathy “shit” falls from his lips.

“That feel good or something baby?” Exhaling your hit in a giggle Steve’s cock twitches inside of you at the pet name, the deep forrest green and ocean blue of his eyes over come with the darkness of his pupils. You felt better then every late night fantasy he’d tugged himself to since he met you.

“God, you’re like fucking heaven.” Pussy drunk he starts babbling hips lifting off the bed to meet yours. “So fucking soft.” Thrust “tight” thrust “and wet.”

As if on queue the sounds of your slick squelching against his skin has a guttural groan rip through his throat. One hand pressing down firmly on his chest you push him flat against the mattress. Despite his stuttering hips he still listens taking your silent direction.

Watching you with expectant eyes as you lean forward. Taking the blunt from between your lips your black lipstick stains the end, touching the velvet of his bottom one with it you encourage him to take it. Big obedient eyes look up at you before wrapping his mouth around it, the heat of his tongue flicking against your finger tips as his cheeks hollow out taking a rip. Eyes rolling in the back of his head when his actions are enough to make you moan, the pretty sounds he earns only egging him on.

Dragging your nails across his skin you make sure to catch the small bars keeping his nipples at attention, lightly tugging as you go. Jaw clenching at the sensation, smoke seeps from around the blunt as his eyes screw shut.

Smirking at the mess you’re making of him, you dip your head down to collect one of his piercing in the heat of your mouth. Metal against metal his hips buck up hard enough for you to mewl around him. Grinding down while you nip at him with your teeth, a string of cuss words come spilling out from underneath.

Moving to the next one, you give it it even more attention. Swirling your tongue around the bar, the tip traces up the length of the metal flicking the sensitive nub of his nipple every time you move over it.

“Jesus - fuck.” Throwing his head back against his pillow, he takes the forgotten blunt out of his mouth half hazardly disposing of it in the ashtray next to you.

Too caught up to think about manners his long fingers tangle in your hair, yanking you up. Lips swollen from their assault on his chest he collects them in a searing kiss. Tongue immediately begging for entrance swiping it across the piercing of your lower lip.

Steve catches the your moan in his throat when your tongues battle for dominance in a sloppy mess of teeth and spit, his hands finding purchase on your hips. Fingers digging in hard enough to bruise flesh he pushes himself deep enough to hit the spot that has you trembling on top of him.

“Yeah? Right there?” Breaking from you long enough to be cocky, he doesn’t give you a chance to answer pulling you down even harder bringing him completely to the hilt of you.

“Fuck - Steve!” Shocked by how good he’s making you feel, the dynamic shifts when he feels your walls start to suck him deep enough to know you’re close.

“Say it again baby, tell everyone who’s making you feel this good.” The confidence dripping from his words has you throwing your head back, bottom lip sucked between your teeth.

The pad of his thumb hits your bundle of nerves applying enough pressure to have your legs shaking around his hips, a mumbling incoherent mess on top of him he wishes he could record this.

“Ignoring me for so long, such a bad girl. Could have been worshiping this pussy like it deserves. Such a perfect fucking cunt.” Jaw slack he watches you fall apart under half lidded eyes, completely consumed by the feeling of you.

“Steve - shit - right there, I’m so fucking close.” The whine in your voice is unrecognizable when his thumb starts sliding over your clit in quick figure eights, the sounds of skin slapping together as your slick walls suck him in fill the small confines of his room.

“Cum all over this cock baby, come on. Fall apart I wanna - fuck - feel it.” The encouragement of his words coupled with the snap of his hips is enough to send you flying off the edge, eyes squeezing shut your mouth falls open in a silent scream. Velvet walls sucking him in as your body shakes on top of him.

“That’s it, that’s fucking it.” Grunting you feel him twitch inside you before painting your insides in a way that feels like he’s marking you as his.

Too busy reeling from the aftershock of your orgasm to worry about how he was going to follow you around like a lost puppy after this, you slump down against his chest. The only sounds in the room are your panted breaths and the Ramones leaking from the small speaker of his TV.

Finger tips tracing down the dip of your spine, he gives your ass an appreciative squeeze, noticing the way you’re too spent to talk he can’t help himself never seeing you like this.

“Same time next week?”

Fighting the smile that’s threatening to tug up your cheeks, you mumble your response against his sweat covered chest.

“Don’t push your luck Steve.”

[animation-is-my-jam]

Hey!! I just read through you're blog and I noticed youre Tobecky kids! I wondered about them! Why did you choose those names for them? and how they were received by both Becky and Tobey?

Hello! And Thank you for the ask. (^_^)v

Ngl, I do get very excited about questions regarding any fankids from future AU since they have been the biggest fixation I have regarding my AU. And of course, plus it's Tobecky.

For the names, for context of anyone who doesn't know my Tobecky fankids bc maybe its been a while, it goes:

-Tori (Anactoria) [The oldest]

-Luis [middle child]

-Matilda [youngest]

(They're on my banner now. The easiest way to tell them apart is by their obvious color coordination) (Tori is in purples, Luis dark magenta/crimson, Matilda aquamarine/green-blues)

But yeah, the names!

I came up with their names about in 2018. Yeah, the same year I got fixated on the Wordgirl fandom. At first, I just had the concept of future AU only going from when Becky and the gang went to college, but I got worms in my head casting a vision of a next generation wordgirl story and of course the idea of domestic older Tobecky shenanigans with kids. And I have been sick ever since...my brain it has not recovered.

At first, I only designed one kid, Tori. Which was initially short for Victory since it fits her character, but then I remembered like a dumbass that there is literally a character named Victoria. And I tried to change it in lore that no....um her full name is actually something embarrassingly unique like Anactoria (based on one of Sapphos poems, because local literature nerd Becky might name her daughter that) so she shortens it to Tori. Where then some ppl mistake that she was named after family friend Victoria, and that's the gag for her name. She's named after a poem subject and real funny that it's from Sappho considering who Tori is lmao, but also fits some of her Greek aesthetics.

Luis. Now Luis was a strange one. As I said, I only intended at first for Becky and Tobey in future AU to have one kid, and I only focused on her character. Eventually (aka like 5 months later), I wanted to design other tobecky fankids since the family didn't feel complete for me just yet. So I thought of a little brother, like a TJ to a Becky. But I wanted a baby in there too, so um, middle child Luis was forced to be/lh. But you can tell with some of his characterization and how the family treats him. He was supposed to be the youngest or at least act like the youngest, but nope, he's the middle kid, but he is the most spoiled. His name when I designed him was Lewis, as both references to the protagonist of Meet the Robinsons and to Lewis Carrol of "Alice and Wonderland" (for another literature reference and cause his aesthetic is fairytales). However, I realized that I at least wanted one kid of their's to have a more Hispanic sounding name since y'know I can't lose the culture here, just because Becky married a Brit. So I just had his name and pronunciation easily changed to Luis! (Not said like Lewis or Louise).

Matilda is funny because her name has not changed at all. From her creation, I always imagined her as the youngest and mysteriously smartest of the family. Where Tori and Luis would be messes, she's the one who apparently has it together. She's the Dexter of the family, born a genius, and acts above her age, like a little scientist. I also made it that she's the one with the unique ability of telekinesis and eventually other psychic powers. And for that, she was named after another iconic smart little girl with such abilities. Yep, her name is refence to Matilda from the book and movie (and ig musical too) (that also counts as a literature refence, Becky was 2 for 2 in the naming, too bad Luis couldn't make it 3 lol). She's also nicknamed Matilde, Matty, and Tilly by her siblings and friends.

As for how Tobey and Becky reacted to each of them...hmm while I could just say that they just appeared one day because that's the funniest answer but not canon. I'll just say vaugley how they reacted to them knowing about a kid/how the kids were when they arrived.

All three are ages apart, mainly Tori, since she wasn't intended to have siblings, and I first had her be 12 when Luis came home, but I retconned that a year ago. Where she was 7. The timeline of the McCallister-Botsford family is kinda all over the place, but I'll make it more streamlined one day. (Grrr, I'm now mad at "Stars that shine in your eyes is what matters" because it implies that Luis isn't born yet when now he should be)

So first things first. Tori. Tobey and Becky, after two years of marriage, wanted a kid. And even though, in retrospect, they probably should have waited a bit, they still had their energetic gremlin. They were prepared, excited, and, of course, nervous. And even with the planning they've done, they still didn't anticipate how much of a handful their first would be. Tori was a chaotic little thing, her half Lexiconian abilities definitely causing headaches. There was also her headstrong personality, which made playtime with her an exercise. Tobey and Becky were really preoccupied with her and their own adjectives that there's even a plot line about how they haven't been romantic in years and realize it one day.

When Tori was 7 and she started to become quickly independent, like her mom was at that age (maybe it's a Lexiconian thing), it gave Becky and Tobey time to think about their family more and how it will be smooth sailing from here with Tori getting older...Until Luis happened. He was a surprise, and unlike Tori, he would be a handful too, but in a different way. Tori never cried as much or fussed when she was a baby. The tiredness of taking care of her was all her bountiful energy. However, Luis was clingy, reactive, and sensitive. He was a heavy crier, and it wouldn't go well if they didn't read him a bedtime story. He acted more typical of a human baby, then his sister (and later other sister). He liked to be picked up or carried. Usually, he would also cling to people like some sort of koala.

4 years after Luis was Matilda. She was another surprise. The thing with Matilda is that as a baby, she was already pretty gifted, both in her mind and powers (which were one). Matilda was born with gradual paraplegia. She was given a few chances to learn to crawl and walk, but by age 3, she did have to use a wheelchair. She had other health problems by her birth, but her and the rest of the family learned to adapt. Matilda and Luis formed a bond since they were only 4 years apart versus Tori, who was almost a decade ahead of them. Surprising since Luis would easily get jealous of anyone stealing their parents' time, but he didn't mind being a big brother now and protective of his sister.

[batsplat]

what do you mean casey and valentino are “very different types of guys in some respects, but also painfully similar in others”, like what? does it mean they’re similar in terms of riding or something else? pls i need to know cus i’m obsessed with these two after reading your posts

okay I'm gonna be honest, I have no clue when or where I said that, and a cursory search didn't throw anything up because tumblr sucks. which means I don't know what the context was... but I did say something similar a few days ago, so I have been thinking about this stuff! I kinda talked about the similarities/differences between the pair of them in this post and will be retreading a lot of the same ground. and, well, I reckon I can have another semi-interesting stab at this topic - you can treat that other post as a tldr because this very much will not be. so here goes

first off, they're definitely not similar in riding style! casey's got a far 'wilder' style, throws the bike around a lot more - versus valentino who looks a lot more precise and controlled. I think I find them the most aesthetically pleasing rivalry match-up when fighting on-track... it's particularly accessible to the layperson imo. if you watch them in the heyday of their rivalry, you have that easily visible contrast between the roaring ducati and the nimble yamaha, the way casey is bullying the bike through every corner, how valentino keeps darting alongside through the bends while slipping back on the straights... that was obviously a very poor generation of bikes in terms of producing good racing with any regularity, but on the odd occasion when we did get a fight between them, it really delivered. the cliché about them is that casey was the talented one and valentino was the smart one, which manages to be nicely insulting to both of them (unsurprisingly, you get the sense neither of them was massively into this as a framing). but you do need a striking contrast for a good rivalry - and there really was something to this raw potential that felt very nearly limitless, belonging to this young rider who only ever just remained in control of it, always on the limit... versus the cool and calculating established master of the sport, far more considered both on and off the bike, using all his tools and tricks in an attempt to trip up his new foe. the key thing about casey's emergence is that it was a bit of a shock. obviously, with the benefit of hindsight, it didn't really come out of nowhere - but when analysing their rivalry it's important to keep in mind that casey was not supposed to be the primary challenger to the throne. casey comes out of nowhere to defeat valentino, and then valentino has to plot and scheme to get him back. it works! it's compelling! 2007 to 2008 forms a very engaging arc... after that it all tapers off for various reasons but you kinda need to enjoy what you get, plus even the tapering off is pretty interesting

and I'm somewhat preempting the laguna 2008 long post still sitting in my drafts here, but this post is more vibes-based so it shouldn't overlap too badly. that race is important for all these different reasons, as a significant turning point in the season and the rivalry and the relationship between the pair of them. for valentino, it was a successful gamble - one that he felt he had to take in order to reassert himself, to finally gain an edge over his most tenacious rival. it was a culmination, in a way, of this journey of casey repeatedly surprising him, repeatedly failing to bend to the weight of valentino's expectations... until valentino dispensed with the old playbook and figured out a way of surprising casey in turn. it's the shock of what happened at laguna and the feelings that are associated with that loss that makes it such a defining moment for casey. yes, it was a deeply uncomfortable race for him given the viciousness of the riding on display, but his emotional response to that is a little more complicated than either fear for his own safety or righteous indignation at valentino's behaviour. the pre-race expectations, valentino getting the better of him during the race, the comically slow, almost feeble crash that ended casey's victory hopes, valentino's post-race triumphalism... what valentino did was make a spectacle out of casey's humiliation. and after all that, it is casey who has to apologise to valentino, playing contrite about his post-race comments when they reconvene after what must have been a painful summer break... it's humiliating! this is humiliating

ignore the points standings for a moment (where casey was 20 points down to valentino) - to the best of my knowledge, paddock consensus was treating casey as a firm title favourite before that race. this is how much of a mark casey's 2007 dominance had left on the collective consciousness of the paddock... early season ducati problems be damned: once he starts winning, he just doesn't stop. even in the immediate aftermath of the race, valentino was being discussed by a lot of the commentary at best as a joint favourite for the title. the ins and outs of how casey's title campaign fell apart are a topic for another day, but it's always crucial to reinsert some context when we're discussing that rivalry and remember just how scary casey's reputation had become by this point. and it's this story that's been developed through some particularly memorable races between the pair of them... qatar 2007, obviously, casey's first win on his first ride with ducati... catalunya 2007, arguably still casey's best win, beating valentino wheel-to-wheel at the circuit where valentino beat everyone else in similar fashion before and since (cf 2004, 2005, 2009, 2016)... casey comes into the championship and doesn't just beat the man who seemed unbeatable on sheer merit, but also beats him on valentino's turf - winning the precise type of significant make-or-break duel that valentino so excels at. and then, one year later, valentino rocks up at a track where everyone expects casey to win, everyone expects it until the very second the race starts... and he wins, doing so by reversing his usual tactics and taking a new approach to cracking the casey puzzle. it's the element of surprise, the shock of it, that allow these isolated performances in their (all too rare) duels to impose a new reality on the championship overnight. and it has the ability to leave the loser reeling, to need time to figure out how to go about their racing from this point forwards. they are forced to regroup, to reassess, to change their ways

now, with that in mind, we can actually start getting into the similarities between the pair of them, aka what the ask was actually about. exciting. let's start here: one thing that's important to remember about laguna 2008 is that it does not immediately turn it into an open feud overnight. casey apologised for what he had said after laguna at the next race. he said to the press he had overreacted, and he apologised directly to valentino:

(for more on casey/vale versus toni elias, see here)

valentino of course accepted this apology (more on this in a moment), happy to call it bygones. these photos are from the brno press conference, almost a month after laguna:

listen. it's just a few photos. god knows what's going on here. but it's casey who is having to reach out to valentino, to make an effort to be friendly to him, to smooth things over. I imagine his experiences in the years to come hardened his initial stance on the race, but obviously it's fair to say that this apology was not 100% sincere. unless casey has done a complete one eighty since then, he's made it repeatedly clear that he did lose respect for valentino, that he did find his riding unacceptable, that he does think worse of valentino as a result. and if there's anything that could radicalise him on that front, surely it's the experience of having to grovel, of having to play nice so that the gracious valentino can pardon him - who casey firmly believes was in the wrong... surely, that has to be galling. it's infuriating. it's embarrassing, especially as the championship continues to slip from his grasp in a manner that so perfectly contributes to the murmurings valentino may have broken casey too. quite frankly, it's humiliating

which makes it notable that for all intents and purposes... they get on fine after this, when they're interacting face-to-face at least. I did a post on this for a target audience of me with like a hundred something photos from 2007-09 - and for all the talk of the relationship deteriorating after laguna... well, I reckon a lot of this is after-the-fact narrativisation of their rivalry, rather than an accurate reflection of what the vibes between them were at any given point. they can still laugh together after laguna! isn't that lovely! now, from 2010 onwards, the relationship does get significantly worse - even if it never quite reaches the same depths of interpersonal coldness that basically every other valentino feud got to. there's a lot more vitriol to what they say about each other, there's just a higher quantity of increasingly petty spats between the two of them, and there's also clearly less interest in small talk on both sides. to be clear, it's not that casey was never critical of valentino from 2008 to 2009, far from it... it's just that those were generally isolated incidents, relatively mild criticism or interviews where you go 'ooh boy he was in a bad mood that day' at the whole thing, rather than the constant mutual jibes of 2010-12. there's not really a clear instigating party for the feud getting worse in 2010, also not a single incident you can point to. I am going to make an educated guess about the timeline here, but to be clear this is only a guess - we really don't have access to the full story. I reckon it was a few comments casey made during valentino's leg break that signalled the beginning of the end, stuff like this:

It seems there is only one positive in Rossi’s absence – noted by Stoner during the British GP weekend. “The fans are more polite,” said the 2007 champ who was booed by British fans following his Donington MotoGP wins in 2007 and 2008. “When Valentino is here, the fans love him so much that they hate all the other riders. The fans that are here now are here to enjoy the racing.”

just to give you an idea of the vibes. without passing judgement on the merits of casey's observation (delivered on a weekend he was generally rather ill-tempered), I can't imagine most competitors would take particularly kindly to opponents finding the bright side of their broken leg-induced absence. then valentino returns, they have that fun fight at the sachsenring, and casey is complaining about how much fuss is being made about valentino's hasty return from injury. at which point valentino reaches into the back drawer and makes a snide remark about how if casey had been on the receiving end of casey's riding at the sachsenring, then going by laguna casey would have endlessly complained about that - but of course valentino knows what real racing is, so he would never complain. which is a delightfully roundabout way of criticising someone's riding, you have to say. and later that year, valentino is quizzed about how both casey and jorge suddenly seemed so much more willing to openly express their enmity in valentino's absence (x)

so you had these two relationships concurrently deteriorating, though valentino was rather more proactive on the jorge side of the equation. so, somewhat oddly, a relationship that seemed to be 'cordial' for the better part of two years after the actual turning point of that rivalry... becomes a lot more ugly during a time period in which the two of them are barely competing on-track. valentino will of course have played his part in that, clearly feeling extra defensive and combative and frustrated (though probably more so in jorge's direction than casey's) in what was a rough, rough season - and when that dynamic between them started getting worse, he obviously made sure to add plenty more fuel to the flames. but to me, the timing feels a little more casey-dependent. after all, it is casey who is holding a grudge over laguna 2008. valentino will of course not have forgotten casey's comments after the race... but at this stage, it's just not a rivalry he has all that much emotional investment in, beyond wanting to beat a tough opponent. unlike with sete or with marc, casey does not have a preexisting friendship with valentino he can betray. it's like valentino said in his autobiography - he could only hate someone who had been a friend. casey is not that person. whereas valentino obviously represents something a lot more complicated, more emotionally thorny to casey... one man who is so thoroughly intertwined with his disillusionment with the entire sport. casey cares about this rivalry - and it's not just because he wants to beat valentino. and then you have the 2009 illness, the frustrations of the struggling 2010 ducati, and what you get is a casey who is increasingly willing to speak his mind... who has secured his contract with honda, whose greatest rival is currently weakened. and increasingly casey isn't playing nice towards valentino, because he's decided it isn't worth it. casey's willing to have a go at him, to be a bit more rude, to actually vent some of the anger within. valentino responds. it gets nasty from there

so... let's take stock for a moment here. there's an inciting incident in a race that causes immediate tension between two riders. both parties are willing to publicly move on from it, but it becomes increasingly clear that one rider is still holding a grudge. later, tensions escalate to the point of boiling over - and we eventually come to learn that the injured party had at no point come close to moving on, for all the playacting and friendliness in the press. does this not strike anyone else as... a little bit valentino-esque? it doesn't mean casey was being dishonest after laguna (though the apology was to some extent, yes) - and his feelings about that race did probably grow more extreme when he felt he was in a position where he could allow himself to actually be angry. there's obviously perfectly good reasons why casey knew making a public enemy of valentino rossi in 2008 would be an extremely uncomfortable state of affairs... but, well, he still had a choice! and the choice he made wasn't to openly declare his enmity, nor was it to forgive and move on. it was to file away the grievance, cling onto it for however long it took, before letting fly to his resentment and having it out repeatedly with his enemy when the time felt right. it's the delayed response to the whole thing that just compels me, because valentino does have a track record of a similar approach. the little slights from 2003, mugello and then assen and other murmurings in 2004, sete's flirtations with being a sore loser... it's all tucked away, barely acknowledged at all by valentino, until the exact moment where he decides he's had enough. 2013, 2014, 2015, this gradual accumulation of offences on marc's part... and then suddenly it spills over in dramatic fashion. a rapprochement for the better part of two years before another incident in 2018 triggers a response of unrestrained vitriol. now, look, you can debate about the comparisons being drawn here between the different rivalries, argue that not all of these grievances are equally legitimate, that likewise not all of the responses are equally proportionate to the crime - but let's talk psychology, not morality. because you do have the same underlying impulses at play here: an impressive ability to remember both major and minor offences paired with a refusal to move past them, a willingness to not openly engage in hostilities until the time is right, how the initial grievance can become ever more pivotal in the mind of the aggrieved. a largely retroactive emphasis on the moment in which the 'true' moral character of the opposition was revealed to the aggrieved party. some kind of perception of trickery, of deception, of an enemy who had not been honest about their true nature. all coming together in a grudge they will never entirely let go of

there's some more pieces of supplementary evidence you can quickly chuck in here, like casey's propensity for remembering slights for years and years after the fact (x)

and casey wasn't even right about it lol. over half a decade later at this point and casey's got it in for the man over a misremembered slight

then here we've got jorge drawing attention to valentino's ability to bide his time and attack from a position of strength back in 2009 (x)

almost like he prefers to bite his opponents when they're already bleeding idk

so neither valentino nor casey are particularly big believers in the 'forgive and forget' maxim. I'm sure I've said something like this before, but one of the charming things about this rivalry to me is that valentino gets to be on the receiving end of that kind of delayed retribution. broadly speaking, I do buy that he accepted casey's apology at the time of brno 2008 - there's no real reason for him not to, and there's also no real reason to believe he had any particular ill will towards casey beyond 'wanting to beat him in a motorcycling contest'. he said "sincerely I am not angry with him", and whomst am I to doubt him when he tells us it's sincere, right. now of course, there's a continual dissonance between the pair of them - because what valentino considers acceptable methods to win a motorcycling contest diverges pretty strongly from casey's standards. this is true both on and off the track - and the bit that casey always struggled with was he didn't understand a) how anyone could behave like valentino did, and b) how anyone could behave like valentino did without despising their target. valentino quite deliberately cultivated a fairly friendly but impersonal relationship with casey on his end, one that he was not particularly emotionally invested in during good times and ill (more of my thoughts on valentino's side of the equation in the context of his approach to rivalries more broadly here). valentino is capable of both these intensely personal rivalries where each offence is deeply felt, as well as these far colder purely sports-based rivalries where he is far more willing to dish it out and take it and move on. he also unsurprisingly enjoys the latter a lot more, feeling they are in some way more 'honest' and revelling in the nastiness in a manner he can't do in quite the same manner when his own pesky emotions are getting in the way. for all that casey was an awfully tricky opponent, this was a rivalry valentino took genuine pleasure in when they were competing for titles. it's a bit of a comfort zone rivalry for valentino, in a way. valentino has always needed enemies to motivate themselves - and casey presented such a unique challenge. beating that kind of talent made each victory all the more rewarding

“The rivalry with Casey was great because he was one of the greatest talents ever in MotoGP. Without a doubt, he was one of my strongest rivals.”

but for casey, of course, valentino's attacks were a hell of a lot more significant than just a bit of fun and games - it was all a lot more personal. he never forgot the humiliation he suffered at valentino's hands, whether directly or indirectly at the hands of the valentino-worshipping media and fanbase, whether on or off the track. there's a decent chance casey remembers every single negative thing valentino has ever said about him. if anything, he's actually more of an extremist on this metric than valentino is, because valentino's most longest-standing grudges rely on some kind of sense of betrayed interpersonal bond. and on casey's side there's definitely an element of this with valentino - he felt valentino got colder towards him once they became rivals, remember - but he really doesn't need all too many preconditions for his grudges. if you wrong him, he remembers, he resents, and he's unlikely to forgive

so, let's pick up on something else jorge said in the excerpt above: how he felt like he had something to learn from valentino in terms of attacking from a position of strength rather than weakness. for my money, jorge never got particularly far in developing this particular skill - just a bit too temperamental and impulsive to be able to help himself when he feels wronged. but it's this idea of learning from valentino, which sometimes feels like a bit of a portent of doom where his rivalries are concerned (remember how marc after argentina 2015 was going on about how you could always learn something from valentino) but casey in particular has talked about a lot. I'll throw in a relevant mind map screenshot again (an ever so slightly zoomed out version of the one I already included here, which also includes a few more screenshots of said mind map):

again, sort of preempting the Actual Laguna Post here - but this is kinda notable, yeah? this idea of learning from valentino is a real preoccupation! casey's belief that he has to be more selfish, that if others don't respect them he will do likewise, that he had to change his mindset... laguna did leave him reeling. he's got a very mind map-friendly way of expressing himself because he does end up making these broad strokes associations between, say, his alienation from europe, his frustrations with how the media portrayed him as weak, his thoughts on riding standards - and then they all end up being linked back to his rivalry with valentino and this single race in 2008. he talks about learning from valentino way back in 2009 and he still talks about it in 2022... this 'learning' exists along two dimensions, one on-track and one off-track. the off-track dimension isn't dissimilar to what jorge was talking about: how valentino effectively uses the media. there were times at which casey, at his most sullen towards the media, assumed that whatever he said or did, they would not take his side. and of course, he wasn't always doing himself any favours when interacting with the rest of the paddock, the media, the fans - something which valentino was happy enough to point out. here's one of my all-time favourite nuggets about the pair of them that really gets to the heart of their dynamic, from broadbent's 'ring of fire' about donington 2008 (three races before laguna):

Casey Stoner had won the British Grand Prix but had been booed. It was an ugly response from a minority of the British crowd and Stoner had, most definitely, been spitting blood afterwards. 'I had it last year when I won as well,' he snapped. 'On my slowing-down lap I was getting loads of abuse. I mean, what do people want? Are they here to even watch bike racing or are they here to abuse people?' I sipped my espresso and Rossi considered his response to the issue. 'It was very strange, for sure, but I think the relationship between the English and the Australians is not great, like the Italians and the French, yes? The people were unhappy because Casey always says, "This track is shit, this place is shit, the weather is shit." They weren't happy for that reason.'

just wonderfully in character from both parties. now, point of order: valentino's considerable popularity in the uk undoubtedly heavily contributed to casey's treatment at the hands of the british fans. if some stories are to be believed, this is something valentino quite deliberately encouraged - and he certainly wasn't all that interested in shutting it down. his line attributing casey's lack of popularity in britain to ancient hatreds is very funny, yes, but also a pretty obvious way of sidestepping any accountability. all that being said. "this track is shit, this place is shit, the weather is shit" does all sound extremely casey - and I have zero problem believing both that this is stuff casey said and that the british fans didn't take particularly kindly to this rhetoric. in similar fashion, while casey's reputation for being a handful to work with was probably harsh and he does obliquely imply valentino was badmouthing him within yamaha (very plausible but it's far from clear cut), it is also undoubtedly true he was sometimes a handful to work with. he did get his temper increasingly under control as he grew up - but there's a little more to how his handling of the media changed over time than just growing up, of course. just like laguna made him change his approach to riding, being on the receiving end of the sheer weight of valentino's power and influence in the sport forced casey to reconsider how to approach his public relations. he's conveniently explicit in discussing this, saying he cozied up to the media so they would "stop writing so much shit" about him. in an ideal world, of course, casey does not want to concern himself with such matters. he frequently struggled to understand why the more entertainment-focused elements of the sport was even necessary at all, seeing them as a distraction, as detracting from the purity of the racing, as something that no real fan would be interested in. but he learned to play that game anyway

on several occasions, casey has emphasised how he is not the type to get obsessed with his rivals, that he does not care who he is beating, that he doesn't understand why anyone would play mind games and make an enemy out of the opposition (more on this in a moment). unfortunately, given he had become the valentino rossi's rival, he was given little choice but to care... or, let's rephrase. while casey had displayed plenty of contempt for the parts of the job that require communicating with the public, he has always hated being misunderstood - he does care how people perceive him, he wants it to be accurate to how he sees himself. and given he was operating at an automatic disadvantage in dealing with such a popular and accomplished communicator, something was going to have to give. casey acknowledges it himself... there's always something a tad loaded in how casey talks about learning from valentino (including in the tweet commemorating his retirement!), because casey would prefer to live in a world where he didn't have to learn these lessons. he would have preferred not to learn what people were capable of, how to be more selfish, how to engage with the media circus. he just wanted to ride

still, valentino was certainly a capable teacher. "very savvy, and very clever, very cunning" as casey describes him, again with explicit reference not just to the on-track dimension but also what happens off the track, with the media. all three of casey, jorge and marc are in differing ways and to differing extents students of valentino's both on and off the track. all three of them have talked about learning from valentino. all three of them have shown obvious interest in how valentino conducts himself both on and off the track. for all of casey's respect and admiration for valentino before the commencement of their rivalry, however, when compared to the other two casey was markedly less interested in learning about all aspects of valentino's game. he wasn't interested in becoming the next valentino rossi, after all. casey is forced to pay attention to how valentino handles the media, is forced to learn from it and use those lessons to his own ends - which means this learning process only really started once they were already rivals. we can track casey's development when it comes to this in real time... because casey has become a far more effective communicator over the years, learning how to come across as opinionated rather than whiny and sell his side of the story

there's an obvious disparity to how much both parties have discussed the rivalry since the end of 2012, which to some extent is just a result of how one of them was still competing and cooking up new feuds and the other one wasn't, as well as the centrality of the rivalry to their respective careers. still, there is something intriguing to how little valentino has generally been interested in relitigating his old feuds once they were no longer relevant to his career. now, there's a very obvious exception to this rule, but even that goes to show that there's actually some quite specific circumstances required for valentino to be so wholly unwilling to publicly move on. first and foremost, it takes real interpersonal hurt on valentino's side... there's a world in which valentino responds to casey's numerous criticisms of him post-2012, maybe reacting to some of the jibes on instagram jorge lorenzo-style. beyond some mildly catty comments in 2013, valentino has mostly limited himself to blandly complimentary remarks about casey and their rivalry. by contrast, of course casey was hurt by valentino on a personal level. he's also aware that he's going to have to do his own pr here - if he wants his story out there, he's going to have to be proactive in telling it. he cannot rely on the public's unwavering affections in the way valentino can. still, casey made a choice to do that pr; in his shoes, valentino might well have done the same thing. because at the end of the day, casey does care what people think and is willing to use the enemy's weapons to change hearts and minds. he doesn't want to be written off as weak or broken or a whiner. he wants to be remembered for the times he stood up to valentino, not when he supposedly folded to him. maybe, just maybe, he wants valentino to get a taste of his own medicine

and yes, at this point we do need to bring in casey's most obvious act of revenge against valentino. it was valentino who gave him the opening to do so, valentino who infuriated casey in the moment, but casey jumped at the chance with relish. in early 2011, casey could already be satisfied with his immediate success with honda - as well as relish in his arch rival's struggles on a bike that casey had been accused of not getting the most out of for all of 2010. then, in the wet of jerez, valentino spotted an opportunity to get a good result on a poor bike and chased down the leaders, with casey running in second. he made an ill-fated attempt at an overtake that ended with both of them going down. the incident and what followed had all the ingredients to flick as many casey triggers as possible: lack of suitable caution from his opponent, injustice in treatment by the stewards, the performative nature of the apology, and valentino's failure to remove his helmet that was interpreted as a lack of respect and sincerity. there were a few other underlying points of contention here, like casey linking this incident to his feelings towards european values (or lack thereof) more broadly - a less honest people, one hears. then there is also casey enquiring after the shoulder, something valentino later picked up on as an odd focus on casey's part (cf too casey's response to valentino's comeback from the broken leg). I've discussed this elsewhere, but at a guess casey was internally comparing how he and valentino were treated in their respective health-related absences in 2009 and 2010. the suspicion he had gotten versus the sympathy and adulation that accompanied valentino's heroic return. with the shoulder, you'd imagine casey was particularly sensitive to the suggestion that valentino was hampered in his riding by his injury - again, compared to how poorly casey's struggles with his mystery illness had been received. now, obviously the shoulder was hampering valentino (and he later admitted he had been afraid it could be career ending), but that isn't really the point, is it? what casey is objecting to are the double standards. throughout casey's career, valentino provides the most obvious lightning rod for his frustrations, and it's not hard to understand why

then there's the line itself, ambition outweighing talent and all that. if I had to choose a single word to describe the experience of having to go and apologise to your rival (who you severely dislike) for what was clearly your error in what is already proving to be a rough and often painful stretch of your career, only to be met with a sarcastic smile and a horrendously dismissive line, I suppose I'd have to call that 'humiliating'. given casey has later clarified he believes the line describes valentino's entire career, it is quite a strong reaction for what is at the end of the day still a racing incident in tricky conditions. and... well, for all that the rivalry had essentially shifted to being primarily off-track by this point, given the pair of them were not fighting it out for titles any longer, it was still in some ways playing out in a similar manner. once again, casey has managed to surprise valentino. back in the day, he took on valentino in vale's kingdom of extended wheel-to-wheel combat, and he won. then, valentino took on casey in his domain at laguna seca, and he won. see too casey's autobiography when discussing the race: "we had a lot of great over the years but there were occasions where he would try different tactics that surprised me. laguna seca was one of the occasions where he had to get a result." the element of surprise, again and again. on-track, off-track, how they fight and how they are perceived... take even, for instance, the british fans: casey, who had family in britain, is a native english speaker, moved there initially from australia as a teenager and saw the place as a second home, would have expected the place to love him back like a second home. he certainly wouldn't have expected to be despised by the fans - and it is this thwarted sense of expectation, of vulnerability based on that childhood connection, that ensured casey has more enmity towards the british fans than towards any other nationality (including the italians)

and now, casey is in front of valentino's cameras, playing valentino's game. and he wins. it doesn't matter that the inciting incident itself was far from the worst you'll ever see, it doesn't matter if casey's comment was a proportionate response or not. because here, casey was given an opportunity to get some payback. to dish out some humiliation of his own, from a position of strength. and the thing is, right, nobody would remember this incident if casey had not played into the show of it all. it's not actually the seriousness of valentino's misstep that makes the difference here... because if it was then everyone would still be talking about motegi 2005, surely a worse misstep from valentino - except marco melandri made the mistake of not having a pithy line up his sleeve while valentino was attempting to not faint at all the blood mid-apology. normally, jerez 2011 just isn't the kind of incident anyone remembers. it quite literally was not that serious. but casey understood he could make it that serious... and he's followed through on the promise of the moment by bringing it up again and again and again in the years to come. he has deliberately ensured it will remain a part of the legacy of that rivalry. because it is deliberate, isn't it - if casey is so eager to tell us how much he learned from valentino, then perhaps we should take him at his word, shouldn't we? it's a valentino-esque level of attention paid to the narrativisation of the rivalry - in this case, a level of attention that considerably outstrips the effort valentino has put into crafting his own narrative. but that really is first and foremost a reflection of the emotional stakes of the rivalry for the both of them respectively... if valentino had felt like casey had, he likely would have done much like casey did

so, let's circle back to the idea that casey does not get obsessed with his rivals. as casey puts it in his autobiography: "of course I had looked up to [valentino] as a rider for many years myself but to be honest there was no extra value in beating him as far as I was concerned. it didn't matter to me who finished second as long as I finished first and I never became obsessed with my rivals in a way that some riders do". now, look, 'never' is a big word. 'obsession' is also a big word, so let's not focus on whether casey gets obsessed with his rivals per se - his claim in the autobiography is more broadly that he did not motivate himself through the identity of his rivals, that he didn't care who he was beating. that he had this 'pure' desire to win that was entirely disconnected from his competitors. and to some extent, this notion holds up: clearly, casey would generally have been at his happiest if he had had the track to himself. a few years ago, he said he missed qualifying but not racing. he enjoys pushing himself, enjoys testing himself, is perfectionist in a way that is not dependent on his competition and tended to be overly critical of himself even after his victories. so it's the truth... but it's not the whole truth, is it now? it's not just a drive for perfection that motivates casey. sometimes, he has a point to prove

let's bring in one of my all time favourite casey clips, when wee eighteen year old casey was reacting to his very first grand prix victory. here are his initial thoughts on how happy he is achieve this milestone:

"Very good feeling, you know - to beat the Spanish at their home circuit is very good - especially Hector, who is sponsored by the circuit."

quick bit of context: hector barbera finished third behind both casey and german steve jenkner, a full 1.1s off the race victory. so. casey. my man. what exactly is it about beating the spanish at home that is particularly satisfying? when you say "especially hector", it does almost sound like not all rivals are equally enjoyable to beat. a cynical soul might say that it sounds almost like we're engaging in a teensy bit of schadenfreude here, during the very first win no less. start as you intend to go on, right?

to fully explain why casey might have found besting the spaniards so satisfying is very much a topic for another post, but for now let's just say that it does make sense he would feel this way. we should also acknowledge the more generous explanation here - that a rider from spain might be more familiar with the track, especially if he is sponsored by the circuit. while this is not an explanation I buy, it does not change the fact that obviously, to casey, beating certain opponents did carry some "extra value" with it. he's human! it happens! it's telling that this is pretty much the first thing that comes out of his mouth after the win... we've already established that casey can very much hold a grudge; the next step is to talk about how casey does like to use spite to motivate himself. another obvious example is his repeated rejection at the hands of yamaha (and honda) - when he went to ducati, he wanted to show the other manufacturers that they had been wrong in not choosing him. from his autobiography: he wanted 'nothing more' than to "put every factory honda and every factory yamaha behind me just once and make them sorry that they had passed me up". valentino likes to make his fights personal - and so, to some extent, does casey. all these deeply felt grievances resulting from how he was treated throughout his racing career, throughout his life... if he can use them to fuel himself, why shouldn't he? (for a more left field discussion of casey's use of negative emotion to fuel himself, see here)

and then, of course, there's valentino. you have casey's reaction during the race itself at laguna 2008, intensely personal as it became clear that valentino's desire to beat casey was matched only by casey's desire not to lose to valentino. the determination demonstrated at sachsenring 2010, where casey was willing to do whatever it took to ensure valentino would not take a podium immediately upon his return. his new stance that he would only show on-track respect to the riders who deserve it. his promise that another laguna 2008 would not occur, otherwise valentino would get it back "tenfold". (history's top ten tragedies we never got to see what that would have looked like.) the obvious, undisguised schadenfreude at valentino's struggles on a ducati. casey does like a bit of schadenfreude, or maybe just grim satisfaction - one of the more striking examples is when he devotes a fair number of words to jorge in early 2008 in his autobiography, detailing how arrogant jorge had been towards casey until he *checks notes* started to repeatedly smash up his body and was forcibly brought back down to earth. (also a topic for another post, darkly funny episode when you really dig into it - but this post does include most of the relevant autobiography excerpts.) valentino might be more proactive in acquiring feuds for himself, but casey has such a litany of resentments and grievances at his disposal that he always has a little bit of spite to draw on. and when he's on top, when he sees those who have wronged him suffer, then he can enjoy himself like the best of them

the other element of casey's rhetoric that's worth briefly acknowledging is his belief that 'mind games' are something counterproductive - because why would you make enemies who will then in turn be more motivated to beat you? marc, in this sense, has become quite a useful rhetorical prop to allow casey to argue that valentino made a mistake by making so many enemies. I talked this a little more here and really don't want to spent too long on it in this post - but the idea that valentino suffered any material consequences from making an enemy out of casey just doesn't stand up to any scrutiny. the rivalry ended up becoming quite unpleasant for valentino, but by the time their relationship had truly deteriorated they were no longer meaningfully competing on-track. it would have been interesting to see how their on-track rivalry plays out with the vibes between them so abysmal, so it is a bit of a shame... though maybe they never would have let it get that bad if they had still been competing, with valentino less frustrated and casey not in an equivalent position of strength. as to the disavowal of 'mind games' as a legitimate tactic and the idea that it's a sign of weakness to play them... linked to the idea that certain victories achieved in certain ways become less meaningful, less well deserved than if competitors had gone about things 'honestly'. let's quickly bring in this parallel I drew in this... idk, web weave, compilation, whatever:

now, call me a cynic, but personally I feel like what casey is describing here would in common parlance constitute a 'mind game'. expectation management is basically mind games 101, though it gets upgraded to a 201 if you're being deliberately deceptive about it. this isn't supposed to be a gotcha, not least because casey is capable of a little nuance here - e.g. on one occasion, he adds the revealing caveat that he takes issue with "trying to get into someone's head and doing it in the wrong way". the problem, as he sees it, is giving them a reason to disrespect you, to hate you. a problem valentino is not unaware of - it's also worth pointing out that the single biggest reason casey grew to hate valentino was an on-track battle that swung a championship fight, and from valentino's perspective was unavoidable. casey's critique of valentino's intimidation tactics does have to be accompanied with the context that beating opponents in direct wheel-to-wheel combat was a major part of what made valentino so good, a far more significant element of his game than it was for any other alien. it's just a style of racing that happens to gel with valentino's more 'psychological' approach to competing in general, where as he describes it he does some off-track 'work' to complement the combative on-track process by which he went about achieving a hefty bulk of his victories (topic for another post, but my sense is that valentino wasn't making an enemy out of casey quite as intentionally as casey thought he was)

anyhow, it's part of why the concept of 'mind games' is really only of limited use (see here). nobody is actually going to be opposed to everything that could be seen as playing mind games. while to some extent casey really would have preferred to exist in a universe where his competitors were entirely irrelevant to him and he could just beat the clock on an empty track, part of his process of maturing as a rider and as a person was about being a little more conscientious about the people around him - both in the positive sense of 'no longer subjecting his team to tantrums' and in the... uh, neutral sense of 'paying more attention to his opponents' psychology'. he describes in his autobiography how he'd never felt entirely comfortable around valentino, knew how to read other riders' body language and felt disquieted by the moves valentino was willing to pull, believed him and valentino were on a different "wavelength" (not a bad way of describing their dynamic in general, you'd have to say). after laguna, he speaks of matching his level of respect to the respect shown by the opponent. he learns to adjust his levels of on-track aggression, just as he is willing to mislead his rivals, at least a little. just as he is willing to engage in wars by proxy in the press with an enemy, if it comes to it. the sport isn't just about riding on a track on one's own, unfortunately for casey, but he too could play the game if need be

speaking of playing games, it's worth examining how the pair of them were quite so adept at pissing each other off in the latter years of the rivalry. my pet theory here is that valentino and casey have just enough trigger points in common, just enough overlap in their sensitivities and the criticisms they most loathed to receive, that they ended up perfectly suited to getting under each other's skins. for all his wariness towards the media and initial struggles in expressing himself, there's an argument to be made that casey was the only valentino rival who managed to get to him with his actual words. biaggi certainly never managed to. jorge took a bunch of swings at it, a keen student in the art of mind games - but there's not all that much indication any of it ever landed on valentino's end, who mainly just seemed pissed off by the general fact of jorge's existence. the one exception you could make is perhaps misano 2016, where jorge criticises a pass by valentino during the race that nobody really saw as all that egregious... but, well, you take your chances when you get them, and valentino did seem genuinely irritated when they started bickering in the post-race presser. with sete and marc, there's various assen-based controversies where valentino clearly didn't take particularly kindly to the reactions of the losing party - but this wasn't tied to the specific manner in which his rivals expressed themselves, as much as it was the simple fact they took the loss poorly. I struggle to recall any instance in which even marc, the rival who valentino continues to be the most obsessed with by a fair margin, managed to draw a response from valentino through a verbal provocation. one fairly obvious reason is that unlike casey, marc generally hasn't wanted to provoke valentino - and when he has wanted to, he's tended to do so on the track

but casey and valentino? oh, they clearly got to each other. the real giveaway is the frequency of arguments post-2009, which vastly outstrips any of valentino's other rivalries (especially given the absence of an actual title fight!) and completely dispensed with valentino's general restraint and ability to choose his moments. anything was fair game here and once one of them got in a jibe, the other one couldn't help but respond. partly this was a reflection of valentino's competitive frustrations, and I suppose lashing out at casey was as good a way to pass the time as any. but the simple fact of the matter is that valentino's rivals generally weren't going toe-to-toe with him in any war of words. casey was not only capable but also clearly willing to do so - and they figured out to hit each other where it hurts. all riders are unsurprisingly sensitive to the idea their accomplishments were not achieved through their own merits, but casey and valentino's sensibilities are particularly delicate in that regard. for all that valentino in 2001 to 2003 could enjoy the role of carefree king of the sport, a surefire way of getting to him was by suggesting his successes were down to the bike. as he details in his autobiography, by 2003 he was getting extremely irritable at the suggestion even by riders in his own house (read: biaggi and sete) that his factory status was giving him a massive advantage. it's one of the main reasons he switched to yamaha! he took a massive gamble, partly because he simply had to prove a point and show he was more than just a great bike. in 2014, he notes that marc's successes were generally not being attributed to being on the strongest bike, commenting that perhaps the difference was marc's rivals were less likely than valentino's to complain about bike disadvantages. (this is true broadly speaking, and remains true even after valentino and marc's relationship falls apart.) casey spent much of 2007 becoming increasingly short-tempered at suggestions he owed his title to either the bike or the tyres, annoyed that nobody was seemingly willing to accept he might just be that good. he hates it when riders make excuses for their poor performances by blaming their machinery, remained exceedingly sensitive to any insinuations he might not be extracting the most from his machinery - and generally can't stand it when riders cannot pay credit to others for their successes

so given their respective stances, it should come as zero surprise that they both ended up spending a fair bit of time discrediting each other's successes. again, in 2007 to 2009, they mostly aren't too bad with this. valentino complains a lot about the tyres in 2007 - but he generally frames this as a frustration that he can't fight with casey, rather than saying he would be beating casey without the tyre difference. and he's willing to actually make the gamble to switch the tyres, rather than just continuing to hide behind that disparity as an excuse. for his part, casey criticises valentino on a number of issues, including of course the laguna victory and how valentino went about achieving it. still, more often than not, they stress how much they respect and even admire each other as riders. then, when the relationship goes to shit in 2010... well, you've got stuff like valentino saying casey isn't pushing to the pushing on the ducati and casey talking about how valentino maybe should try not being soundly beaten by his teammate. in the next two years, casey in turn criticises valentino for not pushing to the limit on the ducati, while valentino gets irritable about comparisons made between the pair of them, uncharacteristically publicly sensitive to the idea that casey was more successful and/or more talented. and in his autobiography, casey expands on his jerez 2011 remarks to posit valentino's success relied on building up his confidence in a weak era

now, listen, if we were to fact-check these jibes, most of them would rank somewhere in the 'eh' tier. valentino's belief that he was at a disadvantage on the michelins in 2007 does broadly stand up to scrutiny, not least given what happened in 2008 - but of course, he will have been aware that his stance of 'if we were on the same tyres, the fight would be closer' would be translated to 'valentino is only losing because of the tyres' by much of the media and public. he didn't really need to do his own pr with a lot of this stuff; you can't just judge what he said without taking into consideration the unspoken implications he would surely have known the rest of the sport would run with. then, there's the claim that casey wasn't getting the maximum out of the ducati, which obviously aged horrendously. given the state of valentino's shoulder and how he very much should not have been riding with it, casey's teammate comment feels pretty harsh - though, again, it's probably fair to assume there was some bitterness there on casey's part about how much less sympathy he had been afforded a year earlier when he had been struggling. the criticisms of valentino on a ducati are again harshly phrased, and the bike was probably a fair bit worse than in 2010, which in any case was already a lot worse than when casey won the title in 2007 - though casey was of course right about the lack of progress of the project. the weak era argument is just not a framing I have any interest in within any context so I won't touch that one here, though your mileage will vary on that

the point here isn't to figure out who was 'right' or 'wrong' because, literally, who cares - this is more about establishing that both sides are insulting each other in ways that aren't always particularly 'fair' by their own standards. they're insulting each other in ways they hate to be insulted themselves. and once of them starts, of course the other has to respond in kind, which is how they had a bunch of petty insult contests that typically became races to the bottom. and it's worth remembering that valentino has gotten himself involved in some pretty nasty feuds where he doesn't do this stuff. even in late 2018, for instance, he was saying that marc didn't need to switch from honda to prove himself. he hasn't shied away from acknowledging marc's ability as a rider over the years - as far as he's concerned, his conflict with marc is entirely irrelevant to that. his insults of jorge were generally targeted at jorge's personality more than his ability (minus perhaps the 2009 cold war dramatics where everyone was constantly insinuating the other side was only fast because they were copying set-ups, but that's something different). of course, it's not just casey whose riding valentino has been snide about over the years - but it's the pettiness and frequency that really do stand out when compared to every other valentino rivalry. looking at the full body of evidence at our disposal, it's generally obvious that valentino did rate casey as a rider and suffered under no delusions when it came to either his talent or ultimate potential. but somehow, casey developed this ability to draw valentino into these completely pointless bickering matches. am I really saying, then, that their singular ability to annoy each other is evidence of how similar they sometimes are? well, yes, I suppose I am

again: all riders are to some extent preoccupied by the question of how much of their performances can be attributed to themselves or their bikes. these two are really preoccupied with it - and both have spoken to the importance of not deluding themselves about how their successes and failures have come about. from valentino's autobiography:

Looking back, what I said about wanting a bike that could win at Welkom, well, that was a way of boosting morale, an attempt at wishful thinking. You can't demand something like that. And even if you get it, there's no certainty you'll win. But then again, we riders always say all sorts of things. Sometimes we believe what we say, even when it sounds crazy, other times we're just being hopeful and, still at other times, it's all an exercise in self-delusion. We try to convince ourselves of something, because ultimately, every time you step on the track, words don't matter, and it's just you, the bike and your opponents. In fact, that's the only time you really have a clear picture of things. When you're actually on the track, racing against your opponents. That's when you know where you are and where the others stand. You know how your bike is doing and how those of your opponents are faring. That's the moment of clarity. Then, you can say whatever you like to everyone else: your chief mechanic, your mum, your girlfriend, the press... but, deep down, you know the truth and you know it with crystal-clear clarity. You can tell people you fell because the bike didn't follow the trajectory it was supposed to follow, or tell them that you're actually really fast, but the bike simply isn't. Inside you, however, you know the truth. You know you fell off because you made a mistake, or because your opponent is simply faster than you. And the opposite is also true. Deep down, you know whether your victories were deserved. You know if you won races on the turns, when it's down to your ability as a rider, or on the straightaways, when it's all about the power of the engine. You know the others are looking to make excuses when they say you beat them just because the bike was better. I always knew the truth behind each of my victories, and behind each of my defeats, too. I knew exactly why and how I won or lost. And so, at the end of 2003, after winning everything in sight with the Honda, I was certain I could win with another bike. But, of course, until I actually did it, I couldn't be truly certain. Thus, I set off on my journey, in search of that place where certainty meets truth.

and from casey's:

Livio once said to me that when a rider is not having success they have to find an excuse because the alternative is to accept they are not good enough. If they do that then it is hard to find the motivation to keep digging. Why even bother to keep on racing if you know you can’t win? He says riders always have to have that in them. I find a lot of truth in that, but personally I also think it is a weakness. If a rider truly believes that the bike is the problem and not them, this gives them confidence to keep going. But I have never needed that confidence because my approach is to adapt myself if necessary. I have no problem admitting if it is me who needs to be faster. If the bike had problems I tried to ride around them, not point them out and use them as an excuse.  

I wouldn't say these passages are saying quite the same thing, but at the very least they're in conversation with each other. riders tell themselves stories to protect themselves. but there is only so far that can take you - because eventually, the truth is unavoidable. valentino believes that deep down, riders know the truth anyway, whereas casey's theory is that riders can give themselves false confidence by lying to themselves. both ended up switching manufacturers at age 25, both immediately won their first race on new machinery and proved their point. and it's that point proving that they really are both awfully fond of - valentino is always wrapping up each of his victories in stories, ones that he provides significance in ways that are at times lampshaded with his various celebrations, while casey too is no stranger to finding satisfaction in proving people wrong. it's a love for subverting expectations, for surprising. it's a need to prove themselves, a desire to take on the toughest of challenges and conquer them. it's also not unconnected to their desire to uphold the importance of the rider over the bike, their wariness towards many of the more recent developments in the sport. casey's opinions about many of the technical advances from various electronics to aero to ride height devices are well-documented, and more often than not it is something he and valentino have been most outspoken about among the aliens. (for a recent contrast compare marc's reaction to his ride height device issues in austria and his insistence they need not be immediately be banned - as one of the various post-race podcasts noted, a cynic might suggest this stance could be affected by how he will have access to the very best ride height devices next year, affording him an edge over the competition.) casey and valentino are both interested in preserving the soul of the sport, are in love with its heritage; see the pride valentino takes in having won the last ever 500cc championship, how casey wishes he could have raced with those bikes and was delighted when given the chance to ride one of them last year. valentino has agreed with several of casey's critiques over the years, including in 2013 after their rivalry was already over and he was quizzed about some off casey's comments in press conferences. casey has even acknowledged a certain common ground between the pair of them here, saying in 2018, "he is like me: if it weren't for all these electronics that manage the bike, if the power was controlled only by the rider's right wrist, rossi would still be number one on the track"

a desire to allow riders to perform without too much outside assistance, then, without too much dilution of the 'pure' nature of competition. even casey's disgust at the merest sliver of yellow on the desmosedici reflects that respect for heritage, in a way, and valentino has hardly been shy in paying tribute to racing heritage himself. and yes, there's the desire for truth - the desire to ensure that the sport continues to be decided by riders and their skills more than it does by clever technology, so that the most deserving rider can be revealed. nothing better than a journey where 'certainty meets truth', is there?

and what could be more of a truth-finding journey than a good old fashioned conspiracy theory? those, after all, are all about revealing hidden truths - ones that need to be revealed, ones that only the select few are initially able to perceive. valentino has competed in two title deciders in his career - and casey and valentino have split the honours in coming up with a conspiracy theory for each. in this bold division of labour, valentino took on 2015, accusing another rider of sabotaging his title bid in a seldom discussed incident that has gone a little bit under the radar in subsequent years. casey, for his part, tackled 2006 - believing that valentino had been intentionally sabotaged by way of a faulty tyre. bafflingly, he included this in his autobiography. even more bafflingly, this passage was seemingly changed between editions (more of my thoughts on that here):

I wanted to include both excerpts here mainly because I think both add something to the conversation. and for what it's worth, while valentino has mentioned that his tyres felt weird and it is plausible he may have had a dud tyre, to the best of my knowledge he has never speculated that he was the victim of any dastardly plot to deny him the title

while both valentino and casey's theories are technically speaking in the realm of 'possible', I think we can all agree that they are rather unlikely to be true. sure, there may be elements of truth to both of them - maybe valentino really did have a dud tyre, maybe marc really did race valentino differently - but there's this suspicion of malevolence here that elevates them to the conspiratorial. there is, however, also a clear difference between the two theories that I think can tell us a lot about the pair of them. casey's conspirator is faceless, a shadowy presence influenced perhaps by uncertain, murky "commercial interests". it is not an individual that plays the villain, but is instead a structure - or certainly a collective - acting maliciously against a single rider. "welcome to my world, mate", thinks casey in response - because this plot has reminded him of all the instances in which nefarious collective actors have done him ill. in some ways, it echoes one of his earliest grievances: being denied the club membership by an australian committee that he needed to be able to continue to race in the country - a committee run by those who wished him ill. 'politics' that casey did not understand, fuelled by 'jealousy and spite', ended up forcing his family's relocation to britain, which made them financially completely reliant on casey's racing. in many of his grievances over the years, you will find echoes of this incident: the jealous and malevolent banding together to use their institutional power to make life hard for casey. in essence, to deny him entry to their clubs - to force him into the role of perpetual outsider. by contrast, valentino's conspiracies take a deeply personal shape, focusing on identifying potential traitors and preemptively striking against them before they can finish their job of destroying him. while valentino might be friendly with many, he has tended towards a tight circle of friends who have known him for a long time, is intensely aware of how establishing close bonds can open someone up to betrayal. the only way to avoid that is by managing vulnerability - and with rivals, more often than not, he would prefer not to have the kind of bond in the first place that would prompt true hatred when betrayed. shallow, violent hatred is acceptable, yes, so is cultivating a little bit of distance when a fellow rider develops into a true rival. but if such a close bond is established, then it only makes sense to suspect that bond in a time of crisis. casey thinks the world is against him - which valentino doesn't think, because it's not. he is on the look out for isolated bad actors, whereas casey is keeping a wary eye on the entire system

I don't want to go too far in pathologising these processes. plenty of casey's grievances are not only legitimate but also an accurate assessment - sometimes, they really are out to get you. valentino's tendency to distance himself from his most immediate rivals is in many ways the sensible way to go about things. but of course, there is not always a hidden truth to be uncovered, the guilty party is not always accurately identified. even casey's animosity towards valentino at times seems strangely impersonal, separate from their direct interactions ("and I dare say valentino as a guy was probably fine", after all) - but instead position valentino as the beneficiary of a system that uplifts him as much as it demonises casey. 'welcome to my world, mate' says casey about the supposed 2006 sabotage, for this is not usually a world valentino occupied. the other process casey deploys is one of abstraction, wherein valentino is to some extent depersonalised, treated less like an individual threat and more representative of broader ills: lack of respect amongst riders, what people are truly 'capable of', the corrupt nature of the european soul etc. valentino for his part never let casey close enough to allow any kind of betrayal - and you can see this from his 2010 comments, that the new hostilities 'please' him because they are the 'truth'. the competitive paranoia that unites them goes beyond what is 'normal' for athletes - with a tendency towards suspicion and conspiratorial thinking more than evident in both of them, even if it expresses itself in somewhat different ways. they're certainly not the most trusting individuals, are they

let's wrap this up, then. what it really comes down to is that valentino unwittingly ended up being pretty much the perfect foil for casey. in a lot of ways, of course, they really couldn't be more different - of course, casey had to run into the ultimate showman, the most ruthless of competitors, the one beloved above all others by the sport and those who govern it. valentino is a walking nightmare for casey to have to deal with: the way he embodied the ideal of sports as an entertainment product, the way he was determined to use every tool at his disposal to humiliate casey. of course, casey simply had to run into a rider with a reputation for breaking rivals, what with everyone already predisposed to seeing him as weak, what with his health problems that allowed much of the motogp world to write him off as broken. of course, casey just had to run into a rival who might as well have been tailor-made to make him suffer

still, casey provided rather a good account of himself in that rivalry. and valentino isn't just a foil in the sense that he provides a striking contrast for casey to define himself against - he is also the agent of transformation who forces casey to learn from him, to grow and change himself, as well as a mirror who can throw into sharp relief elements of casey that might have otherwise gone unnoticed. not to get too jungian here, but the analytical psychologists would say that casey is being forced to confront his shadow self, with valentino quite nicely mapping onto a trickster archetype (junk science but can be fun if you don't take it too seriously). the unconscious elements of casey's personality he is not entirely at ease with, these strict codes and rules and standards he subjects both himself and the rest of the world to... valentino both acts as an embodiment of the various injustices casey has experienced throughout his life, a living breathing representation of many of the grievances casey has accumulated - and as this discomforting presence that teaches casey things about human nature, including those parts of himself that had existed within casey's emotional 'blind spot'. valentino exists in such violent opposition to a lot of casey's most strongly felt ideals that he not only serves as a conveniently malevolent presence to be projected upon at will, but also as this mechanism by which casey is forced to confront the shadow. it's all over his descriptions of laguna - "valentino showed who he really was", "I learned a lot about character, I learned a lot about race craft, I learned a lot about what people were capable of", "I underestimated what people are capable of just to win a race"... valentino deceives, he manipulates, he tricks - but he also serves the function of revealing what was hidden. and on the one hand, it makes casey recommit to his own values, knowing that he would not have acted like valentino did - "in his place I would have apologised", "I couldn't have done that overtaking, if I touched someone and moved them I felt guilty. it was the stupid part of my character, but it was what kept me asleep at night". but on the other hand, it also prompts a transformation within casey - a "change in mindset", something that "helped me in the following years", adopt "a different mentality", that taught him to "be more selfish with my racing", to "race for myself". again: "but, after two years of racing with people who don't worry about you, I've learned that I have to do the same." "people think it was the turning point of the season, but instead it was the turning point of my career, because from that moment I told myself I wouldn't worry about thinking about others anymore" - he's very explicit about this, isn't he? and of course, most memorably: "what happened between me and valentino at laguna 2008 won't happen again, or if it does, he'll get it back tenfold". for all that acting like valentino did would cause casey sleepless nights, if given a do-over then casey believes he would match and surpass valentino's brutality. if that's not being brought in touch with your own shadow I don't know what is

likewise, valentino functions as a focal point for many of casey's issues surrounding public performance, exposing the tension between casey's distaste for this type of public-facing communication in the name of entertainment and his desire to be understood and recognised. once upon a time, casey struggled to even acknowledge appreciation of his skill, much less seek it out

“When he won Superteen races he used to ride round with his hands on the handlebars, so I told him that he should wave to the crowd. He said, ‘no, I’ll feel a real dick’. So he was riding around, hiding inside his helmet, embarrassed with what he was doing, embarrassed with how good he was."

(thinking.) this kind of embarrassment just will not fly if your rival is valentino rossi. nobody was going to rate casey if he didn't at the very least rate himself - and he always did, exhibiting an unwavering belief in his own ability, an ironclad self confidence that kept him going throughout all the turmoil of his career. but he was stuck being simultaneously resentful of how he wasn't being given the credit he felt he was owed and unwilling or unable to articulate his own case. in this rivalry, he was already on the back foot as a result of how obscenely loved valentino was, how skilled valentino was in using that love to his own ends. casey was forced to learn to stand up for himself and take pride in his own unmatched skill and talent. he learned to play valentino's game - and he became very good at it. there's a surprisingly effective communicator buried within the surly, outrageously stubborn introvert... the type who not only could make so cutting a remark after a racing incident that it would live on in infamy, but also understood the power of the moment - an echo, in a way, of valentino stopping on his victory lap to kiss the corkscrew in commemoration of an overlap he had executed on lap four but knew would be the defining image of that race. casey has paired his reputation for straight-talking honesty with a willingness to do a fair bit of talking, if that's what it takes for his narrative of the rivalry with valentino to gradually take purchase. he's always been opinionated, he's always had a lot to say - and eventually he's learned how to say it

in the end, it's all about the shock, and it's all about the awe. they both had the ability to amaze each other on the track, posing such a stern challenge to each other it felt insurmountable. here's both of them in 2021:

CS: "But after the first year in MotoGP, seeing things from the inside, my respect for him had grown - at that moment I thought he was someone almost impossible to beat." VR: “One of the most talented and difficult riders to beat because, for me, about the pure talent, he's unbeatable."

quite something, isn't it, for valentino to call his rival's talent "unbeatable"... he came up with quite some praise of casey back in the day, labelling him both a 'devil' and a 'god'. to valentino, the danger casey represents was in his youth, his raw, unmatched talent, exhilarating to face and to attempt to best. to casey, valentino was a reference, someone who served to 'validate' casey's career achievements. it's a rivalry memorable for its violence, in the vitriol they reserved for each other, in how capable they were of dragging each other down - but in this process, a lot was also revealed about the pair of them, and especially casey. it is the central rivalry of casey's career, one he might not be 'obsessed' with but certainly shaped him above all others. sometimes, it was defined by how different the two of them were, sometimes by how casey changed to use some of valentino's playbook himself - and sometimes, by how they may have been a little more similar than anyone would have expected all along

[yukidragon]

What would Jack do if he found out Sunshine has a certain type that they’re into? And that type is the “bad boy”? Just, imagine if Jack asks his Sunshine what’s their type when getting to know them, and they end up giving a description that sounds almost exactly like his “bad boy” self Joseph.😂

I can imagine that would cause a bit of cognitive dissonance for Jack. Considering how remembering that he used to be Joseph was a trauma trigger for him, and in the past he regretted his "bad boy" attitude that led him to get tattoos when he was a teen...

Honestly, I don't think Joseph was a "bad boy" as an adult. Yes, he fits the stereotype when it comes to his appearance - what with being tall, muscular, having numerous piercings, tattoos, and wearing attire we tend to associate with the look of a "bad boy." He also smokes, which is a pretty stereotypical "bad boy" behavior. Plus there were hints that he actually went through a "bad boy" phase as a teen, but he seemed to be ashamed of that phase of his life after growing out of it.

In the recording with the psyche consultant, Joseph explicitly expressed regret for getting the tattoos, and he worries about doing right by the children. He's rather soft spoken and tries to be friendly, overall showing none of that typical "bad boy" attitude. He even stutters a bit, showing how nervous he is. There's no cocky confidence in his attitude that he seemed to display as a teen.

Then there's the interview with reporter Dan. Joseph shows discomfort when being judged for his appearance in a sexual way. He even cuts things short once the reporter made direct sexual insinuations about his past. It suggests that he might have some issues being judged based solely on his appearance.

Joseph might have been a "bad boy" in the past, but he turned his life around as an adult. He had friends on the set in his co-stars who spoke highly of him, as seen in a couple pictures Sauce posted on their old twitter.

Credit for these pictures as always goes to Sauce. Consider signing up to the SnaccPop Studios patreon, and remember not to share anything that's privately posted there.

It would seem that even while he was still alive, Joseph was trying to separate himself from his past as a "bad boy." He did run away from home and changed his name for a reason after all. I think it's this drive that ultimately led to Joseph deluding himself that he's Jack in the present after his death.

Sometimes we go through phases were we act up and practically become a different person than who we really are deep down, and we often look back on those periods of our life with regret. This seems to be the case with Joseph due to a troubled childhood. I've gone over some of the hints we've gotten of it and my own thoughts in this post.

So, really, it seems that even as an adult, Joseph was trying not to be a "bad boy" or be judged by his appearance or past. I imagine Jack would have a lot of unpleasant feelings towards the idea that it's this sort of person that his precious sunshine is attracted to.

I suspect that it would lead to some conversations, with Jack trying to find out what about this "bad boy" attitude that draws sunshine in... while also making sure MC is aware of how risky some of those behaviors are. If it's just the aesthetic, well that's just fine. Anyone should dress the way they feel comfortable, and there's no harm in finding a certain style of dress attractive.

Though it might be difficult for Jack to dress up as a "bad boy" to suit their tastes. If he tried, I imagine it would be less like Joseph's look and more like a Sunny Day Jack-themed "bad boy" appearance that would look more silly than rebellious.

It would be concerning to Jack if MC might be attracted to someone who might disregard their feelings or treat them with little care like the "bad boy" stereotype. It can also be pretty self-destructive and lead to reckless behavior and choices that leave deep regrets, like Joseph felt in his adulthood.

Jack wants MC to be happy and for their light to shine bright. He doesn't want to stifle that light, but taking care of them comes first. He'll be whatever they want him to be, but that doesn't mean he won't encourage them to want him to be the person he wants to be.

I suspect that Joseph was judged a lot for his appearance, both as himself and as Jack. Given how desperately he's clung to his persona as Jack in the present, I think we can tell which way he would rather be perceived.

As an aside, this is why I personally am not exactly keen on the fanon that Joseph calls his lover "doll." That sort of nickname tends to focus on a person's appearance and can be kind of objectifying. As we've seen with the interview with Dan, Joseph had to face quite a bit of that himself, and he didn't care for it.

I understand the urge to differentiate Joseph from Jack with a different nickname for his love interest, but I don't personally see Joseph and Jack as totally separate people. As I've said in a previous post, I think that there's more of Joseph in the Jack that we know than Jack would care to admit.

Not to knock anyone who feels that nickname is fitting, has a different interpretation of it, or likes it in general. Don't let me dictate how you have fun with the character and setting. Fanon is for fun after all~! It's just something that I couldn't help but think about when examining how Joseph might have some issues with being judged for his appearance and objectified by others.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur

[aces-fav-husband]

Straw Hat Pirates Halloween/Autumn Headcanons!

Tags: SFW, GN! reader, can be read as platonic or romantic (minus Chopper’s part, which is purely platonic), literally just what the title says.

Warnings: None!

A/N: Happy Halloween! I think I wrote a lot more for Franky and Robin than I did for anyone else, but please enjoy my silly little headcanons. <3

Luffy

This boy loves everything about Halloween. It’s easily his favorite time of the year.

Him, Sabo, and Ace would work on their costumes for days on end, using whatever they could scavenge up in Grey Terminal, Dadan’s shack, and random shit they found in the woods.

Absolutely went as Shanks at least once.

Makino would always insist on making costumes for the three of them, but would always get turned down. This was something the brothers bonded (and competed) over and they wanted to do it without help.

If she finds their costumes, though, she will do her best to touch up their shoddy stitching while they were away.

Luffy, Ace, and Sabo have definitely tried to trick-or-treat in High Town to get the best candy. It’s the perfect time to sneak in- no one would question a couple of little kids running around in masks and shitty costumes, right? It’s just part of the spooky Halloween aesthetic, isn’t it?

Yeah, they stood out like sore thumbs among all the store-bought, clean, not-spooky costumes.

Luffy still makes his own costumes every year, and he has the weirdest and most poorly-made costumes you’ve ever seen. He puts in a ton of effort, though. Every costume is made with his own blood, sweat, and tears, and he takes a lot of pride in them.

“What are you supposed to be, Luffy?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

It isn’t. He’s supposed to be a vampire, but looks more like a starved, mangy gorilla.

He throws a mandatory costume party on the Thousand Sunny every Halloween. There is no getting out of it. If you try to get out of it, Luffy will whine your ears off until you agree and then drag you back to his room so you can help him with his costume.

He still sucks at sewing.

Help him make his costume and he will love you forever. He’ll try to help you with your costume in return, of course.

If you bought a costume, he’ll try to “upgrade” it. How he thought werewolf fur would be an upgrade to what was supposed to be an angel costume, you had no idea. It’s the thought that counts, I guess.

He also eats all the candy and sweets Sanji prepares. Sanji has to prepare extra batches in secret just so you and the rest of the crew can eat.

Knocks himself out pretty quickly, though. He parties hard and crashes even harder after all that sugar. Will fall asleep on you and get clingy.

I feel like his favorite Halloween treat would be caramel apples, especially if Sanji goes the extra mile to make them Halloween-themed. A caramel apple that looks like meat on the bone, completed with some “scary” blood (red food dye), is something he will go insane for.

Zoro

Zoro also loves Halloween, but for all the wrong reasons.

Any holiday used as an excuse to drink sake, and Halloween is no exception. This man gets absolutely plastered during Luffy’s party.

You will have to pry the bottle of sake out of his cold, dead hands after his liver fails.

Chopper is so concerned. Please babysit Zoro so he doesn’t actually die.

This mf cannot be trusted around kids during Halloween. If the Sunny is docked at some random island, he’ll find a way to sneak off (probably intending to buy more sake) and end up terrorizing the trick-or-treaters. Will scare the shit out of them and laugh.

Will scare the shit out of you and laugh.

No one is safe, except for Chopper (unless he’s really drunk).

Tells super shitty scary stories.

For the love of god, don’t let Zoro leave the ship. You will not be able to find him for the rest of the night. Don’t let him go alone, at least.

If you go with him, good luck.

If there’s some sort of haunted house close by, you guys will end up going in there.

Huge plus if you scare easily. He feels strong and dependable when you cling onto him. And he’ll poke fun at you for getting startled by the jump scares.

If you don’t scare easily, then you can both make fun of the shitty jump scares.

Zoro puts in no effort when it comes to his costume. Either buys a really shitty mask from the store or goes crazy with the fake blood. Sometimes both.

Always incorporates his swords into his costumes, too.

“What are you, Zoro?”

“A zombie swordsman.”

“All you did was put fake blood on your old clothes, though.”

“And?”

Compare him to a used menstrual product and he’ll kill you. Possibly already got into a fight with Sanji over that.

He’s probably one of the last people awake, even if he is extremely drunk. You’ll have to drag him to bed while he mutters nonsense.

His hangover the next day is horrible. He will not be able to do anything. Either tries to sleep it off or complains about it endlessly. He wants you to stay with him in both circumstances.

Zoro isn’t a big fan of sweets, so I don’t think he has a favorite Halloween treat.

Nami

Nami loves all things autumn, Halloween included! Just not the scary shit.

Hay rides, corn mazes, pumpkin patches, apple orchards, fall festivals- she loves it all (except for carving pumpkins because they smell like ass). If she gets the chance to go to any of those, she will take it and drag you along with her.

Will also drag you along with her when she goes shopping. Although that activity isn’t a fall-exclusive one, she still loves it. Will try to get you to buy a matching outfit.

Also makes Sanji get pumpkin spice as soon as it starts being sold again. In a modern AU, she would get that Starbucks pumpkin spice shit all the time.

She loves baking. Bakes an excessive amount of pies and cookies and pumpkin breads (just another reason for Luffy to love autumn).

Bellemere absolutely went all out during Halloween/autumn for Nami and Nojiko (to the best of her ability), so October is a super nostalgic and a slightly melancholy time for her. Especially since she couldn’t celebrate for a long time because of Arlong.

She wants to spend as much time with you and the rest of the crew as she can and go all out with decorations. Will absolutely talk about old memories of hers if you give her the chance.

But onto the actual Halloween headcanons.

Nami would take you to go costume shopping with her, but would buy it behind your back and keep her costume a secret up until the night of Luffy’s party. Her and Usopp would try to do a group costume theme, likely dragging you and Chopper into it while they’re at it.

Either works perfectly or everyone’s theme ideas are too different, so you scrap the plan.

You know that one quote from Mean Girls?

“In Girl World, Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it."

This 100% applies to Nami. She will pull out the sluttiest costume you’ve ever seen.

Like… you’ve seen lingerie that covers more skin.

“Is this supposed to be your costume..?”

“Obviously. I’m a cat- didn’t you see the ears?”

She’s just wearing lingerie with a cat ear headband.

Loves Luffy’s mandatory costume party. She’s the one that decorates for it, helps Sanji with the food, and plans out all the activities. She wants everyone to have as much fun as possible, so there are lots of party games and themed sweets.

Will get into a drinking competition with Zoro if you and the crew place bets on them. She’d do it for some extra cash.

Will get fucked up and you’ll have to send her to bed early, but she’ll have no regrets (if she won). All smiles and happy that she got to spend the night with the people she loves.

I feel like her favorite Halloween treat would be fruit flavored gummies, but her favorite fall treat would be peach and berry cobbler. She also hates candy corn.

Usopp

Similar to Nami, Usopp loves autumn and all the festivities that come with it, but he lowkey hates Halloween.

Like, he enjoys the pumpkin carvings and the costume making, but he hates all the scary stuff that comes with a holiday like Halloween. Haunted houses? Spooky decor? Monsters? No thank you. He could barely handle Brook.

A victim of Zoro’s scares. </3

Will get upset with you if you purposefully scare him or set him up to be scared. Be nice to him please.

Swamps himself with personal projects for October. You’re always invited to hang out with him in his workshop as he distracts himself with his creations (and hides from Zoro).

Make sure you drag him out every now and then to do non-spooky activities. I suggest a petting zoo or some sort of farm. Maybe a nice hike to take in the beautiful scenery.

Absolutely loves bonfires and making s’mores. Just don’t tell any scary stories, okay? His heart can’t handle that.

He also loves autumn candles, cinnamon brooms, and scented pinecones. Him and his workshop smell so goddamn good.

This man is the king of carving/painting pumpkins. He makes the coolest designs every year and he has a lot of pride in that. He wins any competition having to do with aesthetics. He always harvests the seeds for Sanji to roast.

He makes the autumn decorations for Nami. Wreathes, cute scarecrows, little paper leaves to string up around the Sunny- that kind of stuff.

Also this man totally crochets and knits shit for you and everyone else on the crew. Expect a sweater when it starts getting cold.

Him and Robin work together to make Chopper’s costume. With the two of them collaborating, they make literal art for the reindeer. Will make you a costume if you ask.

Obviously makes his own costume. He’ll go as less scary versions of classic monsters or heroes from whatever comic books he finds in the New World. Asks for your input when he hits mental roadblocks.

“Hey (Name), do you think my costume would look better if I added this to it?”

Shows up fashionably late to Luffy’s party. Which is completely intentional and not because he started questioning some of his design choices for his costume and had to make some last minute changes.

Spends a lot of the night eating and dancing.

Is super proud of himself when he wins a game and gets smug about it.

He knocks himself out pretty early, but not as early as Chopper. Wakes up glad that Halloween is finally over and still feels some residual pride after winning.

Usopp’s favorite Halloween treats are pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. He’s festive like that. Keeps a jar of them in his workshop so he can snack while he works.

Sanji

Sanji did not give a shit about Halloween for the longest time. He couldn’t really celebrate it with his family (“you’re above that”) or on the Baratie, so Halloween was just another day for him.

That is, until he found out about slutty costumes.

Now he goes crazy for Halloween every year.

Other than that, he doesn’t really have any interest in the holiday.

He is, however, very interested in the farmers markets that always pop up at this time.

He’ll invite you to go with him and help him pick out the best seasonal ingredients.

Corn, apples, potatoes, squashes, sweet potatoes, eggplants. Also snags some spices so he can make a pumpkin spice blend for Nami.

Like this mf gets everything. You struggle to keep up with him as he explains what dishes he’s going to make with all the produce.

Would also go apple/berry picking with you. He finds the ripest, sweetest fruits ever.

Him and Nami exchange new dessert recipes all the time.

The kitchen has seasonal decorations, but nothing flammable and nothing close to the stove/oven. (Luffy tried to hang one of Usopp’s wreaths above the stove and almost caused a fire.)

Doesn’t really give a shit about his own costume, but he always looks really good in whatever he picks.

He goes for simple costumes that don’t heavily alter his appearance. Think butlers, vampires, devils, cowboys, etc.

He does buy a ton of accessories for his costumes, though.

“Do you really need this for your costume?”

Yes he does.

Spends all day working on the food for Luffy’s party, with the help of Nami and you. Super spent at the end of it, but very proud and happy.

Makes the food Halloween themed and tries to give it some nutritional value.

He also makes actual food and snacks and not just desserts/candies.

Sanji definitely wasn’t the biggest fan of the Halloween party at first, but it very quickly grew on him (totally not because of the sexy costumes).

Absolutely shits on Zoro for the insane amount of fake blood he uses on his costume. Zoro shits on him for picking a boring costume.

He has a ton of fun at the party though.

Doesn’t get as wasted as Zoro, but does drink.

Drunk Sanji is super funny tbh. Cracks some really funny jokes and manages to tell some really good stories.

Is complete ass at some of the games, but he doesn’t care. He can have fun without winning.

Another person who goes to sleep kinda early.

Sanji’s favorite Halloween treat would be chocolate covered pretzels, maybe peanut brittle. He loves the combination of salty and sweet. I also feel like he would enjoy black licorice.

Chopper

Chopper had never heard of Halloween. Well, he’s heard of it, but never really knew what it was.

Whenever he and Dr. Kureha traveled around Drum to help people in October, it was all the children talked about.

Dr. Kureha would always brush him off when he asked about it, saying that it wasn’t anything he should preoccupy himself with (she didn’t want him to get hurt again).

But once that he’s with the Straw Hats and they explain the concept to him? He goes fucking crazy for it now.

Not for the horror aspect of it, but he adores the costumes and the trick-or-treating.

This mf also goes crazy for fall festivals.

When you finally stop at an island that has a fall festival, Chopper practically drags you off the Sunny to go.

Agua frescas, funnel cakes, donuts, cookies, fried chocolate bars, huge ice cream cones, cotton candy, milkshakes, etc. He loves all the shit that you can eat/drink there as long as it’s sweet.

Ends up getting a bad stomach ache though.

Gets kinda frustrated and sad when he struggles to win any prizes.

You have to explain to him that the games at the festival aren’t meant for you to win and he gets mad at the people running the games for scamming.

You finally win (or steal) a massive stuffed animal for him and he loves it. He shows it off to everyone when you finally get back to the Sunny.

He is in awe of the color of the leaves. They’re just so pretty and he’s never seen anything like it.

He likes stepping on the super crunchy ones.

That gives you the idea to make a massive pile of leaves for him to play in.

He loves it. Makes leaf-angels, throws leaves everywhere, buries himself.

He invites you to play with him and you both have a blast.

He never has to worry about his costume, since Robin and Usopp always make it for him.

His costumes are always adorable, even if he’s supposed to be a monster or something spooky.

“Your costume is so cute, Chopper! Are you a bat?”

“It’s supposed to be scary!”

Him and Luffy party so hard on Halloween night.

Eats almost as much candy as Luffy and passes out in a similar way.

Dances with you and plays as many games as he can before the sugar crash takes him out.

You have to carry him back to his bed before he falls asleep on the floor. He has a smile on his face and thanks you for making everything extra fun.

Chopper’s favorite Halloween candy would be candy corn and those pumpkin-shaped sugar cookies.

Robin

As a kid, Robin used to love Halloween and go all out for it.

All the archeologists would decorate the library inside the Tree of Knowledge with things like fake spider webs, paper ghosts, and small pumpkins to make it fun for Robin.

She always had the cutest costumes. She would dress up as her favorite book characters or archeologists she looked up to.

She wanted to stay inside and continue studying, but the professors managed to convince her to go outside and be a kid.

Would share her candy with Professor Clover and everyone else and end up passing out at the library.

She has not celebrated Halloween once since the fall of Ohara.

Not because she didn’t want to, but because she couldn’t. She either couldn’t go out without fear of being recognized or whoever she was working under at the time wouldn’t let her.

Fast forward and she’s with you and the Straw Hats. She’s finally able to celebrate it again and she is lowkey excited.

Reads scary stories and gothic novels all October to get herself into the spooky mood.

She’ll invite you to sit next to her by the campfire as she tells everyone the most horrific scary story you have ever heard. Usopp dies inside.

Her morbid sense of humor really comes out at this time of the year, which is occasionally directed towards Brook.

If there’s a haunted house/hay ride, scary maze, escape room, or anything else like that, Robin will going and will be taking you with her.

Chuckles if you get scared and tries to warn you when there’s an upcoming jumpscare (she can see them coming from a mile away).

Out of all of the scary activities, escape rooms are her favorite. The majority of the time she can figure them out easily, but once every blue moon, there’s an escape room that requires more effort than usual.

Always let’s you help out with the puzzles. Escape rooms are really boring if only one person is doing all the work. She wants it to be fun for both of you, not just her.

Bonus points if you both are actively being chased/hunted while in the escape room. The added tension is so exciting for her, even if it isn’t particularly scary.

She would also love petting zoos. Her favorite animals are the goats. They’re just so goofy and she can’t help but love them.

Robin makes her own costumes and they are always beautiful.

Definitely goes for a classic gothic vampire for her first Halloween with you and the Straw Hats.

Goes the extra mile with accessories.

“Wow, Robin, your costume is gorgeous! I love the fake bone jewelry.”

“Thank you, but these are real.”

You can’t tell if she’s serious or if it’s her sense of humor.

In a modern AU, she would try to get you, Franky, and Chopper to all go as the Addams Family. Chopper is Pugsley and you and Franky have to fight over who’s going to be Gomez and Wednesday. Robin serves cunt as Morticia.

She’s always the first one to show up for the Halloween party.

Wins quite a few of the party games that Nami set up, much to Usopp’s chagrin. She lets him win a few to boost his ego.

Takes you to dance with her when Brook plays slower songs, listening to you talk about whatever you’ve been up to leading up to the party.

Drinks a lot of red wine, but doesn’t get plastered like Nami and Zoro. Looks elegant as hell while she’s drinking in her costume.

She’s the last one to go to bed. If you stay up with her, she’ll tell you a little about her past Halloweens and forgotten traditions.

Robin’s favorite Halloween treat is sour gummy worms. She loves sour candies and the fact that they resemble worms makes them perfect for Halloween.

Franky

Franky fucking loves Halloween. Always has, always will. If Halloween has 1,000,000 fans, Franky is one of them. If Halloween has 1,000 fans, Franky is one of them. If Halloween has 1 fan, it’s Franky.

Loved going Trick-or-Treating with Tom, Kokoro, and Iceburg. Halloween was something they all loved and they celebrated it with gusto.

He still competed with Iceburg, though. Who had the better costume? Who got the most candy? Who could finish their work in time to go Trick-or-Treating?

Iceburg usually took that last one.

But the sentiment carried over after Tom’s death and Franky grew up.

The Halloween parties that the Franky Family would throw were insane. Nobody outside of the Family was invited, but tons of people turn up anyway.

Like, Franky knows how to throw a party. Tons of food, booze, and cola were present, along with good company. These guys would go crazy for hours.

No one in Water 7 gets sleep on Halloween because the Family will be blasting music into the early hours of the morning.

He is always so hyped for Luffy’s Halloween party. He will talk your ears off about all his plans for October and the party.

He loves going apple picking. There’s something so very therapeutic about being in the orchard and finding the best apples with you.

He makes his own homemade cider with the apples you both picked, which is pretty damn good.

He’s also a sucker for cookouts. Sanji usually handles all the cooking, but Franky will be on the grill. Don’t argue with him.

It isn’t on par with what Sanji makes, but he puts his heart into those hotdogs and burgers.

Makes a really good steak, too. Once again, not Sanji-levels of good, but the man knows his way around a grill.

Would go into shock if you asked him for a well done steak. Why would you do that to a perfectly good piece of meat?!

Always helps to set up for the bonfires.

Makes the most s’mores. He always sets the marshmallows on fire, though. He claims that charred marshmallows are the best.

You can hear the crispness of the poor mallow as he bites into it. That mf is fossilized.

Builds animatronics for the party and they are the coolest things ever. They look so realistic and scary and they’re amazing.

Modern AU Franky would recreate FNAF as per Luffy’s request. The Bite of ‘87 will happen.

Franky also makes his own costumes.

Well, he makes the accessories. He has to buy the clothing part of it. It’s not that he can’t sew- he can -it’s just that he sucks at making clothes.

He prefers to go as traditional monsters like Frankenstein, werewolves, ghosts, etc.

He also will put on Halloween makeup. Will gladly let you apply it for him if you’re good with makeup.

One of the only times he will put on pants is if he’s wearing a costume. Even then, he tries to think of ways to still achieve the look he’s going for without wearing them.

He loves matching/themed costumes. If you match with him, it’ll make his year. He gets so happy and excited.

“We look super good, (Name)!”

Goes so hard during Luffy’s party. He has been looking forward to it for weeks and he is not afraid to let the world know that.

He drinks a ton of his homemade cider and cracks a bunch of jokes.

Loves everything about the party. He wants to do everything he possibly can.

He’s the first to start dancing and convinces you and your crewmates to get out onto the dance floor with him.

He’s really good at dancing tbh. Dancing with him is a blast.

Gets wiped out after a while and has to sit down and recharge with a cola. There’s a 50/50 chance that he will end up falling asleep before he can get to the cola.

Franky doesn’t really have a favorite Halloween treat, but he loves anything homemade. He destroys all of Nami and Sanji’s baked goods. If you make him something, he will gladly eat it and tell you it was super delicious.

Brook

Brook feels pretty neutral about Halloween. He hasn’t celebrated it since he was a kid and doesn’t have much interest in celebrating it now (unless partying is involved).

His favorite part about this Halloween is that no one bats an eye at him being a skeleton. And that he gets to make 10x more skeleton jokes than usual.

(And the sexy costumes.)

He loves autumn, though! His first autumn outside of the Florian Triangle makes him really emotional.

Gets pretty melancholy when he thinks about how much of his life that he missed, but is very grateful to be alive in that moment.

If you really like Halloween, he will gladly participate in Halloween activities with you.

He’s not a huge fan of haunted houses or corn mazes.

He has gone to haunted houses with you before and he ends up scaring the actors when they realize he’s a real skeleton.

He has to turn down multiple job offers.

He really likes pumpkin patches and fall festivals, though!

They’re so lively and colorful and they make him feel happy to be alive. Especially seeing how excited the other people (and you) are to be there.

Speaking of colorful, he loves going on nature walks and taking in the color of the leaves changing. He’ll collect any leaves that he thinks are especially pretty and show them to you.

Being out in the wild with all the natural beauty inspires him.

He writes multiple songs while he’s out there. The majority of them are rock and roll, but there are some more classical songs mixed in there.

You’re the first one to listen to all his new songs.

He’ll whip out his old fiddle and play hauntingly beautiful music, then switch to his guitar and put on a Soul King performance.

He also loves walking around and looking at all the Halloween decorations with you. Brook loves seeing people be passionate about things, even if it’s something he doesn’t have much interest in.

When it comes to costumes, he usually just buys something related to the dead/undead.

Ghosts, zombies, the Headless Horseman- that kinda stuff.

You could throw a white sheet over him and recreate that one Spongebob Halloween special.

BUT, if he finds a really good silicone mask that looks mostly human, he will wear it for shits and giggles.

“I’m just bones underneath! Yohohohoho!”

Thinks that it’s peak humor.

He always parties hard and Luffy’s Halloween party is no exception.

He’ll bust out the new rock songs he wrote earlier that month and preform them for everyone.

Drinks a lot of booze and gets wasted.

Also gets a lot more vulgar.

But he keeps the mood lighthearted and cracks just as many jokes as Franky.

At some point does stand up comedy when he gets drunk enough.

It’s not bad.

Ends off the night with one final song before heading to bed.

Brook would say that his favorite Halloween treat is candy bones, but it’s really anything with peanut butter.

Jinbe

Jinbe is also really neutral about Halloween. 

It isn’t really celebrated by anyone in the Fishman District, excluding a few young children who were fascinated by human culture.

It is celebrated in Ryugu, though.

When he first returned to Fishman Island, he was asked to participate in some of the Halloween activities.

He gave out either the best or the worst candy and didn’t dress up for it.

He doesn’t know what the point of Halloween is.

Doesn’t really get the appeal of the horror aspect of it, either. Why would you intentionally scare yourself?

He’ll still go with you to haunted houses and listen to you talk about anything horror-related, of course.

He prefers the Trick-or-Treating and costume aspects of the holiday. It’s kinda strange but cute.

Since this is his first time celebrating Halloween with you and the Straw Hats, you have to explain a few of the traditions to him.

In exchange, he shares some of the Fishman Island traditions with you.

Pumpkin carving/painting becomes a favorite activity of his quickly. Not only is it fun, but he likes the idea behind it.

He likes the outdoor activities, like picking out pumpkins at the pumpkin patch and bonfires.

Jinbe tells the best bonfire stories ever. They aren’t scary (that’s Robin’s job), but they are super entertaining and funny.

He sets a few marshmallows on fire, but not intentionally. Eventually he gets the hang of it and roasts golden brown marshmallows every time.

He gives them to you, Chopper, and Luffy since he isn’t the biggest on sweets.

He also likes going to the fall festival with everyone.

He goes on a few of the rides with you, but they aren’t his favorite things in the world. He prefers the games.

He is godly at carnival games. There isn’t a game that he can’t win.

When it comes to costumes, Jinbe doesn’t put much effort into them.

He usually just throws something together with whatever’s in his closet.

Doesn’t overdo it with accessories either.

Tbh he doesn’t know what he’s going for, he’s just throwing shit on that’s vaguely Halloween-esque.

“What are you, Jinbe?”

It’s whatever you think it is. You gotta use your imagination.

He participates in all the party activities, but he spends most of his time drinking with Zoro and talking to you about life.

He will start dancing once Franky gets on the floor. He’s a good dancer tbh.

He participates in a few of the games and activities at your request, but usually sits out.

Wins any card games.

He makes sure everyone is where they’re supposed to be and alive before he goes to his room.

Thanks you for a fun night before he goes to sleep.

Jinbe’s favorite Halloween treat isn’t much of a “treat”- it’s pumpkin soup. He likes how smooth it is and loves the taste of pumpkin.

[shipcestuous-two]

I’m really sorry this is a long vent, I just wanted an excuse and place to sort through my thoughts, I thought maybe someone will be curious if I were to be honest about explaining technically why I might have potential for incestuous feelings. I more recently submitted about how I thought I got into shipping in relation to my brother, I said something about how like there was one time when I was young he walked in on me masturbating and put a blanket over me, and how I haven’t seen him in a long time.

I think I do have more incestuous feelings, even if they’re more the awareness of a potential, rather than being active.

Other things I forgot to mention are, though I was really young, at some point I knew that if he weren’t my brother he’d be the type of boy I’d like. Later there was one time he came up behind me and whispered on my neck and it gave me a asmr/sensual tingle and I felt embarrassed because I liked to have my neck touched. Or I’d see him shirtless and take notice of his differences to me. I remember not being convinced that I was genuinely grossed out by him specifically.

Whenever I’ve began to wonder how I’d feel about him, it gives me weird feelings, like it’s just interesting and different to think of intimacy mixed with that kind of familial closeness, plus I’m uncomfortable about how I’m seen especially by people who’ve known me a long time. I always have had “confused” or inquiring ideas of the difference between platonic/romantic/aesthetic attraction, and so on, but I think it’s partially just how my sexuality works in general, like one thing can lead to the next and I don’t really see it as a problem even if my feelings don’t always seem to come first and helplessly lead me to know what I like.

My family does have a complex, toxic past, which people think is the “cause of incest” but that’s not always the case. Though I haven’t been truly close with him since we were very little, it’s nothing that would make me not see him as a brother. He’s genuinely only in jail because of something someone else did, and will be there a long time unless my family can help. Even before that, he went to detentions so was away from me a lot, and started hanging out with people and building a persona he wasn’t raised into in order to cope with being mistreated by my dad who didn’t treat me the same way, and because of that he used to I guess resent me but he’s told me a lot that he doesn’t feel that way. He also used to occasionally bother me like he gave me a wedgie one time but it truly wasn’t that uniquely bad. Later I turned against wanting my families often out of control behavior around me, I wish I’d been more present. He wants to make up for making me mad but I don’t feel as innocent as he thinks I am so it’s awkward.

Like I said in the other submission he used to be very playful like we were little again and sit on my bed and want to be in my room a long time, he’s still silly on the phone and changes his tone.

Some of my friends had crushes on him when we were younger. When they told me, I remember realizing I guessed he was kinda cute. In general, I don’t even think my brother is “my type”, he’s used girls as a distraction and has shown that he can be emotionally immature with pushiness or getting upset without very much control, really I just wonder what it would be like if we were raised differently because it’s like I can sense that without circumstance he’d seem perfect to me and we’d be close, I’m not obsessed with it but I just never thought much into it till recently.

It feels safe to have a brother and to remember the most core parts of feeling conscious and naturally connected to another person without sensing society, our dynamic may have affected us more than we realize. He was very excited to have a little sister, he must have been shaped by me too, including unfortunately being eventually made to feel that I was not as much an acceptable target as he came to be, it’s just odd because we barely talk now and only have the sort of spiritual concept but it’s deeper in it’s own way.

I’m not in love with him or always thinking about it. Who knows if I’d end up considering it if things went perfectly, but if I did, I doubt I could unsee it. It’s really just that I’ve seen that I have the potential to be romantically moved by the fact he is my brother and it’s not something anyone else could be to me. I’ve had a younger stepbrother for some years but I also never see him though he wants to see me and I even slightly suspect he might have had a crush on me before he was my stepbrother when he was little but that might have just been him trying to get my attention.

I wouldn’t even consider it so much if it weren’t for me having this thing my whole life where I like to be curious about and empathize with things people see as impossible (I do have mild autism and other things that make me see social things a certain way but it seems to me like no one thinks the way I do). Maybe I wouldn’t consider it much if not for my interests because who knows if one started the other, but it’s not just that because then everyone who ships incest would be more inclined to this. I remember a couple moments considering possibilities like that when I was younger where others wouldn’t be aware of them at all.

So I only allow myself to think this because I’ve gotten past the taboo, I guess I still feel a bit bad, people think if you do you’re desensitizing yourself, but I think the whole concept of desensitization is largely based toward whatever’s currently treated as normal and people just not wanting you to perceive it differently and thinking the way things are is the only legitimate way, so whatever. I don’t think intimacy is invasive just because there are overlapping feelings that people associate from different dynamics, I realized the strange feelings specifically about us being siblings is maybe only about the expectations, and the anticipation of the discomfort he’d feel, because if I knew he didn’t just see me as a little sister, I wouldn’t feel violated by the fact that we are siblings when I consider if I could’ve found him sexually attractive without realizing it, I can’t imagine I would be disgusted by kissing him or anything, I think I would’ve liked it.

I think it's great that you're exploring all these thoughts and that you're not afraid to yourself these questions and to be honest with yourself.

Thanks for sharing this with us!

[xycuro-illuminati]

Bitter exes stuntdevil lore masterpost

Ok so here's the full lore of the bitter exes stuntdevil (Daredevil/Stunt Master divorce) story with how it went down and everything lol (images have alt text)

Big reminder that this would be my version of DD so keep in mind that Matt is Latino here and that I will be taking certain elements from shadowlands here (I'm sorry fellow dd mutuals I just like the whole demon possession aspect by itself. I don't like shadowlands and I think it sucks I just wished they made him into an actual beast demon yknow).

To give a summary of how it goes: The Hand is not involved with the Beast demon at all, they're not going to show up whatsoever. In this version, the beast demon is just a parasitic demon that was hiding in a flower that a group of cultists summoned and when Danny Rand and Matt went to investigate, Matt got too close and was exposed to the pollen, therefore, got infected. The beast demon would shut off his nervous system over time and made Matt unaware of things before completely taking over and transforming him into a monstrous demon that acts like a zombie. Matt would be in a comatose state while the Beast demon was using his body and did whatever it wanted and fed off negative energy. Shadowlands isn't a big marvel event, it just lasted for a short time with only the Heroes for Hire involved and after the exorcism (here's the art showcasing that), Matt was left in a distraught state where he wanted to rebuild himself and clear his head since all he could remember was strangling Foggy (comic here). It made him feel not only horrible and guilty, but he also felt like a burden bc Foggy was juggling between running the law firm and visiting Matt to help him recover. During this, Matt wanted to go back to San Francisco to try to regain his footing again and Foggy decided to let him do so thinking it might help him. It would be this version of the Daredevil Reborn arc (or at least, takes place after it).

And that's where Stunt Master comes in.

For those that don't know who Stunt Master is, George Smith was one of the early villains in Matt's rogues gallery dating all the way back to volume 1. He's a classic vol 1 type villain that wants nothing but fame and fortune, along with getting in Matt's way. His dynamic with Matt during that time was standard antagonist interaction but they also held a playful banter along with some really strong trust bonds and some homoerotic dialogue as per usual.

However, during the Death's Head arc, George has a change of heart after being forced to kidnap Karen Page and wanted to be good. He lead Ghost Rider (Johnny Blaze) and Matt to Death's Head and the three of them stopped him. After this interaction, George was no longer considered a villain and even becomes friends with Johnny during the older runs (which he originally met up with Ghost Rider bc he wanted to make up to Matt for his kindness).

George doesn't show up that much again but going back to where Matt is going through it post demonic possession: the two of them meet up. Matt tells him his identity as Daredevil and what happened during their catching up, and George tries to help him out by going on stunt rides to help get Matt's mind off of things. Since Matt had felt like a burden before, for George to treat him as if nothing changed, it made Matt feel better in some weird way. That was how Matt fell madly in love with George. All those wild stunts and running around as vigilantes, plus Matt being in a vulnerable mental state, it all added up for Matt to quickly attach himself to George and would do anything for him.

Matt and George began dating and Matt adopted some of George's cowboy aesthetics into his costume.

At first, they were doing a few good things here and there trying to do the right thing. But George has always wanted fame and fortune, so that fame got to his head and he started to fall back to his old criminal ways. Unfortunately, because Matt was so down bad and lovesick, he went along with it without acknowledging the repercussions. Matt returned to NYC to reunite with Foggy, but after Foggy learned about what George was doing, he wasn't a fan of this relationship (literally the smartest mf here and yes, Foggy was PISSED OFF rightfully so). Matt was getting worse and worse over the few months, and he eventually ditched the law firm and left Foggy to deal with work by himself while he and George went on a road trip to Las Vegas where they eventually got married there. Matt fully adopted the cowboy aesthetic and had a criminal cowboy daredevil suit made for him as both a wedding suit and a vigilante costume.

The two idiots kept causing a shit ton of crime including vandalism and theft, specifically robbing trains. Some of those crimes eventually caught Johnny Blaze's attention, making him surprised that his good ol' friend George was going back to being a criminal again. When Johnny confronted them, George rambled about wanting fame again and that any attention is good attention no matter what. Matt had even convinced George that Johnny's disapproval shouldn't mean anything to him, to which made Johnny believe that Matt was enabling him (here's the full comic that I drew here).

(It's also a little secret addition to this little exchange where Johnny expresses how he feels about Daredevil when asked:

Doesn't wanna say anything about the whole cowboy phase so he says this instead lol. But that's just me).

The three of them started beef with each other so whenever Ghost Rider was involved, it was a whole shit show.

(Full post of this image here)

Matt and Johnny fought the most while George would either watch from afar and root for Matt or continue with whatever scheme they were up to. Along with all of this happening, post marriage was starting to make Matt slowly wake up from his lovesick phase and he was realizing that George was not a good partner after all. The two would get into petty arguments while also doing some headass shit to spite the other. George was insensitive to Matt's feelings while Matt would constantly ignore George whenever he tried talking to him. Not only that, George was so bad at sex that Matt completely lost his sex drive. These two were not a good couple and over the year, Matt was slowly figuring that out.

George has done shit from putting the motorcycle in the bed, only caring about The Mets and watching their games during sex, played the worst disco songs Matt has ever heard, and he was overall just a shitty partner. The two of them eventually fell out of love and barely tolerated each other, whether it was during domestic moments or during their crime schemes.

At one point during a fight, Ghost Rider ruined the veil on Matt's suit along with using a heated chain on him and burned a section of Matt's left bicep. After that fight, Matt realized that fighting Ghost Rider for George wasn't worth any risk and refused to fight Johnny no matter what George says. George went after Ghost Rider by himself only to get absolutely smoked while his costume got tarnished in the process.

Matt later on went back to NYC to visit Foggy, and by visit, he basically showed up at Foggy's doorstep in the middle of the night during a rainstorm while still wearing the cowboy outfit.

Foggy was reluctant at first, but Matt admits being a stupid fucking idiot and apologizes for leaving Foggy to run the law firm by himself. After being let in, Matt begs Foggy to help him divorce George, and Foggy agrees to help him out just this once. Matt goes back to George to talk to him and after another argument, they both agree on getting a divorce since at this point they can't stand being around each other anymore.

After the divorce, Matt was finally improving on himself and then the events of vol 3 and 4 starts. During Matt's whole identity-being-revealed, whenever someone asks him about the whole cowboy Daredevil fiasco back in San Francisco, Matt made up the excuse that the cowboy Daredevil wasn't him but instead some random guy. A faker. An imposter, if you will.

George comes back during vol 4 in issues 11-12 where he decides to take the opportunity for more fame and fortune by orchestrating the entire Kid Stunt Master arc where he faked his own suicide and took drugs to make sure Matt couldn't tell he was lying. He also did this to spite Matt as well so there's that to add onto.

Since it's been a few years after interacting with each other and George (pretending to be) being desperate for his help, Matt decided to give him a chance and had truly believed that George had changed over the years. And Matt was genuinely sadden over his (fake) suicide.

Matt started reminiscing the good ol' days when they were friends and even the beginning days of their developing relationship. Of course, after finding out the truth of George orchestrating the entire thing, Matt quickly snuffed out those reminiscing feelings and went straight back to completely hating on George.

After that ordeal, he wants his ex husband to get hit by a truck. He wants nothing to do with George Smith whatsoever.

After Kirsten learned about the entire divorce, her, Matt, and Foggy decide to celebrate the divorce date as a fun little anniversary. A few years later, Johnny and Matt finally sit down and have a conversation about the whole criminal cowboy phase and after learning both perspectives, there was an understanding (comic I drew here). But despite learning the truth, Matt and Johnny still have some grievances between each other, they just learn to keep a distance and be respectful when necessary.

Which is why there's a hate triangle guide I made for the three in the first place lmao.

There you go, that's the entire lore for this crack hateship of mine. If I were an official Marvel writer, I would definitely use this to reveal Matt's bisexuality being canon. It would be the worst way to reveal a bi character but it would be so funny and so worth it.

Here's a playlist of it. If you have any cheesy, funny, or over the top dramatic bad break up songs lmk I'll add it to the list.

[lesbianamalvada]

not to oil a flame but if you consider doing hours of research and collaborating with multiple people to make sure you're factually correct and then publicizing your findings in a digestible format for the public about very significant and harmful disinformation that is still being spread around to this day is the "bare minimum", I think you're the problem

the queer community didnt get where it is by shunning help and trying to pretend you're better than others. have a little respect for your history and the community that protects you, unless you want to know why we had to fight so hard to get where we are

this is seriously over todd in the shadows 😂😂😂. Bruh what research did Todd have to do to point out hacky lies like "Forrest Gump had no cultural relevance" and "Most Nazis were gay". The ones that are still being spread around to this day were 1. Covered by Hbomb as well or 2. He didn't even get to. Yes researching a video debunking obvious lies (that will in turn get you way more praise, clout, money than effort you put in) IS THE BARE MINIMUM . IT'S A DRAMA VIDEO. He debunked obvious shit.

"the queer community didnt get where it is by shunning help and trying to pretend you're better than others."

He made a youtube video, not a nonprofit asshole. I'm allowed to have a fucking opinion on youtube drama.

"have a little respect for your history and the community that protects you"

Wtf? What the actual fuck??? What does a todd in the shadows video essay have to do with my history? How about the fact I have been pointing out Somerton (and other prominent queer youtubers) lies about our history and get other "kweers" attacking me for it everyday. And I didn't need some guy to be mean to my friend on Twitter to do it. Plus TODD ISN'T IN OUR COMMUNITY, and frankly, it shows. Like him being so flabbergasted that James cares more about best actress category than best actor, when that's normal in the gay male community. And I don't have any beef with Todd, my point was the EXTRA praise he was getting and WHY like him being a straight person made his contribution more special???

Also another thing I hate about you motherfuckers, youtube essays aren't protecting me or anyone else from shit. Yeah they *can* be education, but it's a business people profit from like everyone else. And a lot of them raise money for trans issues sometimes but it's not like they are our actual political representatives. Can you name one LGBT activist, their place in history, and what they did? Probably not, you lot can just say "Marsha P. Johnson threw the first brick at stonewall" and run. People like you are why Somerton got so popular, you like the aesthetics of education and activism without doing any of the work, like reading or community service.

"unless you want to know why we had to fight so hard to get where we are"

When will you people learn online discourse about youtube drama has zero effect on the rights of anyone anywhere?? All this because I'm not sucking off some straight youtuber who made a drama video? You're really threatening me with the repeal of my rights? You people are so disconnected from reality. Who the fuck is "we", anon? What have you done?? I was shunned by my mother's side of the family and my dad couldn't even look at me when he found out I was gay. I was homeless because of it, I lost everything. You know who didn't help me during that fucking time??? A FUCKING VIDEO ESSAYISTS!! Changing opinions on homosexuality, lesbian activists who actually made political changes, and myself! That's what "protected" me, okay? Frankly the LGBT community treats lesbians like crap and always guilts us with "we need to stick together" or "you don't want to fight for your rights again do you??" As if we aren't still fighting! So no, I won't be guilted into sucking the dick of the straight white man of the day. I'm not going to put up with being interrogated on why I don't suck dick in general. I'm not putting someone's feelings before my physical boundaries. I'm not going to police my language. I'm not going to qualify discussions of homophobia against lesbians with how some groups have it worse or how we're all effected, or how I'm not one of those problematic gay, or etc. I'm not bending over for an online queer community that produces nothing of value, frankly. This behavior is condescending, self-important, and honestly embarrassing.

[isadollie]

(1/2) 1) name : violet

2) fandom : Obey Me except Lucifer, Belphegor, and obviously Luke

3) pronouns : she/her

4) sexuality : straight

5) would you like your match up to be a girl/boy or it doesn't matter? Male

6) likes : music, fanfiction, manga, anime, cartoons, books (If I find it interesting), family, friends, potato chips, chocolate, cakes, bread, anyone who is kind, patient, supportive, helpful, tries at least, trustworthy, responsible, fair in general, respectful, flexible, honest, open-minded, humble, sincere, accepting, thoughtful, encouraging, forgiving, careful, understanding, wise, mature, cooperative, caring, etc. That's more but that's all I could think of

7) dislikes : anyone who's rude, disrespectful, doesn't listen to others, refuse to admit mistakes, blames others for their mistakes, ignores people yet demands attention from them, demanding, won't acknowledge what you said, hypocritical, biased, irresponsible, careless, disloyal, inconsiderate, insensitive, inflexible, petty, hostile, untrustworthy, immature, uncooperative, unforgiving, judgemental, narrow-minded, self-centred, unethical, self-righteous, etc. That's more but that's all I could think of

8⁠) what do you like to do in your free time? drawing, reading manga, listening to music, fanfics especially reader inserts, and watching anime, movies, & cartoons. My favourite genre is romance but I love comedy, mystery, action, sci-fi, fantasy, and historical too! My favourite music genre is pop, but I also love ballads, & alternative rock!

9) an aesthetic you like : Tomboy

10) appearance : My height is 154cm. I'm a woman who's average looking (not ugly but not pretty either) & skinny. I have hair long enough to cover my collarbone. I part my hair in the center & always tied in a low ponytail. I wear spectacles. I usually wear dark oversized shirts (sometimes light coloured too), baggy pants, and sport shoes (I don't play sports or go out much though 🤣). Despite being in late twenties, I still don't even look 18 to strangers & they see my identification card to confirm my age 😂

— matchup —

if you'd want a matchup too, make sure to check out this! link

!! my headcannons/scenarios requests are open!! you can find it in navi, aka the pinned post; send me some requests :3

i match you with...

Beelzebub!

★ quality time and acts of service is his thing imo. especially if the acts of service is about cooking for each other, let's be real here. will also share some of his food with you, which leaves everyone shocked

★ i think Beel really appreciates people who are polite to others, as he also seems to be this way. not judgmental, just treating everyone with respect

★ he'd 100% watch movies with you, as well as listen to your favourite songs (make sure to bring snacks though)

★ Beel really is a family guy, so i can see a pattern here. he really can be kind and protective, especially about the ones he loves. plus, he's loyal

★ he wouldn't ever judge you for making mistakes or being clumsy. would get annoyed if someone else did, though, would make sure to put them in their place for that

★ he'd love to have someone who's clingy, i think he'll be a big fan of physical touch, and closeness in general, as it makes him feel loved and cared for

★ for some reason i have a feeling Beel would like to read a fanfic from time to time- or rather listen, when someone else reads it out to him

★ after knowing you for a while, he'll know when you tend to overthink something. will make sure to comfort you each and every time this happens too

[blueskiestarot]

I’m sorry if this doesn’t fit the aesthetic of your blog, but I’ve followed you for a while and you seem like you give good advice. Please don’t feel like you have to answer.

I got broken up with a few months ago. I asked for “too much” when I had asked for time, respect and effort. We had argued a lot in the weeks prior because I couldn’t get over the past (he broke up with me once before when i asked for a long term relationship, made comments on my body twice—but it was the completely wrong time and place, called me a derogatory name “as a joke”) were just some of the things I struggled to move past, ultimately I couldn’t move past them and he’d shout at me saying “you live in your head” “i’ve apologised once i’m not apologising again” and would ignore me and become distant when I bought up my feelings.

Anyway, clearly it wasn’t a healthy dynamic. It ended, of course, he said it was entirely my fault and he couldn’t meet my needs, he fell out of love, we’re too young etc etc. Cool. But this break up has destroyed me. I sent a final message via a friend because we’re no contact (he said we’d meet, he never showed up, ignored me ever since). The final message was “I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough”

The thought of everything consumes me. My performance at work has dropped, I have no desire to “make it”, I cry. A lot. non stop. It’s like the whole situation has consumed me and it’s stuck in my brain. My confidence is the lowest it has ever been, I struggle to socialise. I’ve tried therapy and honestly, it doesn’t feel like it’s working. I have very few friends, very little family, I work remote. I don’t have goals or dreams I’m so lost. It hurts even more that I get these stupid dreams where we have that closure conversation or we are happy together. I don’t even think I believe in love. How can someone go from saying “I want you, I’ll do everything I can to be the one for you” “I love waking up next to you” “You’re perfect, you’re truly special, I love you” to “I don’t think my heart is in it anymore, you’re asking me for too much”

Even the way it ended was really difficult. He claims he didn’t know he fell out of love yet i knew from the look on his face and the way he was acting the day before he ended it. I’m so so lost. Why wasn’t I good enough? I did everything I could to keep him happy, I cared, i listened, I treated every word and feeling like glass, I compromised, always apologised first. I did everything.

Oh, honey. Don't worry about it not fitting the aesthetic of my blog. I'm always here to help when you're going through something tough.

I'm so sorry that happened to you and that you're having a difficult time healing from it. Yes, it was clearly a toxic relationship and they were a toxic person but that still doesn't mean that you didn't have good times together and that you can't be sad that it ended. Please just be gentle with yourself right now and don't judge yourself for feeling the way that you feel. You're still grieving the end of this connection and while you can logically say that it wasn't good for you, it's going to take more than that to mend your heart. I won't lie, it's not going to be easy but you probably know that. It'll take time. I'm not sure when this happened but even if it was awhile ago, it's important to realize that we all heal at different paces. Plus, healing is not linear. You'll have to work at it and some days you'll feel like you're making progress and other days, you'll feel like you're making no progress at all. Just know that it's all a part of the process, my friend.

Also, feeling lost and lacking motivation after going through something like that is totally normal. Just take it day by day. You will get through it, I know you will. And sweetheart, it had nothing to do with you not being good enough. How he treated you said more about himself than it did about you? So, please don't put yourself at fault for his actions.

I would suggest to stay in therapy even though it may not seem like it's doing much right now. Again, it takes time. So, keep at it. Unless you don't like your therapist and they are genuinely not helpful. If that is the case, I would suggest getting a different therapist and see if that makes a difference.

Above all, just be gentle with yourself, don't rush the healing process, and allow yourself to cry and grieve as you need to.

I hope this helps some. Love, Tara

[fontasticcrablettes]

Because it’s Halloween season: How would you do a vampire story in a post game setting? And who would you be the vampire until they are somehow cured?

Ooo fun idea. And honestly this is probably what a majority of people were hoping for when I said I was writing a vampire fic and instead wrote a meticulously detailed medieval AU about 14th century politics in Ireland lmao.

Ok, so, who should be the vampire? I think tonally it depends on if you want to go "sexy tragic vampire" or "horror vampire." Is the vampire one of our heroes, who is tragically condemned to drink blood and lose their humanity? Or is it one of their enemies, thought defeated but returned as the undead and more dangerous than ever?

Yuri is such an obvious pick for a vampire. He's got the looks (pale, dresses in black, moon aesthetic) and the story themes are already there (are you really willing to bloody your hands? have you become a monster?). So I feel like if I were to write a vampire fic, I would not make Yuri the vampire simply because half the work is already done for me.

And let's be honest, the only other choices for me are Estelle or Flynn, because all of my fics focus on Yuri, Estelle, or Flynn.

I did already write about Flynn as a vampire, but in a very different setting. Considering Flynn is thematically associated with light and the sun, there's an extra layer of tragedy if he's cursed to burn in sunlight and unable to set foot in the sun again.

You could get some of that same inversion-of-aesthetic with Estelle, who's generally bright and flowery. Estelle also has some narrative themes that could blend well with vampirism, in the way using her magic hurts the world. Having to literally feed on the life of others makes her CotFM powers even more immediate.

Hm... what if Estelle did die from what Alexei did to her, and unbeknownst to the rest of the cast (and even Estelle herself) the version they get back at the Sword Stair is undead. The more she uses her magic, the more her energy drains, and the only way to restore herself is to drink human blood.

OR we go with the type of vampire in which the human personality is no more, and either a wholly new evil soul has possessed the corpse, or their old self is corrupted and monstrous, so you get "Estelle" who is now a ruthless villain. One of my earliest ToV fics was about "What if Estelle was secretly evil?" so I've always been fond of that idea.

If we're looking at villain vampires, I think Yeager is an obvious choice. I mean. Look at him. He's got fangs. He also has done that vampire thing of disguising his identity by turning his name backward Alucard style (Yeager/Regaey). Plus you could count him as undead given the blastia heart. So maybe post-game, he comes back as extra undead.

Alexei coming back as a vampire could also be fun. I could see him as a Dracula-esque vampire manipulating his way into power and treating his victims has play things before draining them. And I imagine he would especially want to get revenge on the pesky kids who killed him the first time.

Ok, so maybe combine some of these ideas. If this is how I would do a vampire fic, I'm generally more interested in vampires in a horror plot than a tragic love interest plot, so I would lean into Alexei coming back from the dead. Bodies drained of blood start showing up around Zaphias as he grows in strength.

His primary targets for revenge would be Flynn and Raven, because they didn't just fight him, they betrayed him. And especially Flynn, who betrayed him, killed him, and then took his job. Rude. So maybe he can turn Estelle into a vampire as an extra fuck-you to Flynn - taunting him with the girl he swore to protect and now has to fight, but desperately doesn't want to kill.

And then is Yuri willing to kill Estelle? How long until he gives up on the idea of finding a cure and sees this as saving the real Estelle so she can rest in piece? How do the rest of the party like Rita and Judith divide and feud over whether to kill her?

Which is all, of course, playing right into Alexei's hands because while they're distracted with the horror and grief of what's happened to Estelle, he's plotting to retake his position and finish the coup he started.

[ragesin]

Meliodas is pretty aroace actually.

I have no doubt in my mind he's on the spectrum. More specifically he is demiromantic and demi-pansexual. This can seem a little confusing at first glance - given the absurd strength of his feelings towards Elizabeth and how he behaves at times throughout the series - so I'll go more in depth.

He's a person who needs to feel a deep emotional closeness and connection in order to have any romantic feelings. Gender doesn't factor heavily in for him, while he has a slight female preference he can be physically drawn to anyone ( woman, man, they, it, whatever's on the menu ), but needs that same emotional connection to feel that sexual attraction to any degree, at which point the attraction extends only to that person.

For him that was the original goddess Elizabeth. Meliodas exhibits zero interest in anybody besides Origibeth and by extension a number of the 107 incarnations that came after. No attraction, physical or romantic. He feels no real desire to pursue any additional romantic / sexual relationship, even when the possibility is sitting right there.

I'm certain people tried things or made offers  ( he was a demon prince and all plus he's lived a long time )  but he rebuffed any advances. Yeah, he has his aesthetic tastes. He can appreciate some people look nice, but that's where it ends. He doesn't pay much attention otherwise. Females mean as much to him as males did aka nothing lmao. They just existed in his eyes - went about their lives and carried out their duties. He doesn’t want to touch others and doesn’t want to be touched by some person he couldn’t give less of a damn about. Comrades get treated more casually and their touch is more accepted, but you don’t often catch him going out of his way to touch any of the Sins outside of the context of fights. The person he’s in love with automatically gets a free pass so he’s a lot more comfortable initiating physical interactions, hands out touch without reservation like he’s giving away free candy and he’s a lot bolder about it.

This is why you never see Meliodas even attempt to act perverted towards others besides Elizabeth at any point. Even in flashbacks you can tell it was Not a thing he did early on. He becomes flippant  ( moreso than usual )  and uncomfortable whenever any woman other than Elizabeth expresses romantic interest in him. The Sins also confirm he's only ever harassed her  ( Nakaba revealed Mel’s sometimes dumb and perverted attitude was to hide / misdirect what he knows about Elizabeth so ). Diane invited him to but he refused, saying "I can’t do that do my precious comrade". Meliodas sees her as an important friend and doesn’t want to hurt her feelings by doing something he doesn’t mean. He also basically got propositioned at the Vaizel festival but flat out ignored it, opting instead to try and calm Diane down. Zaneri straight up grabbed his hand and placed it on her chest when she greeted him, which made the man fucking snatch his hand back and act like she didn't just do that.

It's to varying degrees but he denied all these attempts. Always hard passes with barely acknowledging the offers even happened. Do not pass go; do not collect $200. At best he gently lets down the person, otherwise he just treats it like a discomfort / inconvenience and tries to move the fuck on past it as fast as possible. The only other exceptions to this are Ban and Merlin.

With Ban, he’s had some type of Feelings about him at some points, but due to circumstances he's been stuck in and his general struggle to properly process emotions like that he just never really acknowledged it to himself outside of the fact the interest existed at all. Like, if Ban ever said he wanted casual hookups with him Meliodas wouldn't have been opposed at all to it. But once the thought that it may only ever be one sided came to mind after he learned about Elaine and what happened to her, Meliodas concluded it be best to not put that on Ban and quietly put a lock on said interest, resolved to never pursue it seriously, and only regard Ban as a best friend.

With Merlin, Meliodas has no actual idea what to label his relationship to her as. He doesn't view her as a familial figure, hasn't explicitly viewed her in a romantic light the way she does him, but she is more than a close friend. There's something (??) there for them to have a relationship described profound connection in Grand Cross and for Meliodas to actually agree to a promise to be with her should he for some reason ever give up on Elizabeth. I say that something is currently queerplatonic feelings with fluid boundaries that are never properly defined by either of them.

tldr; Meliodas' max intimacy quota is very low and he basically only handed the keys over to Elizabeth bc she somehow houdini'd her way in, made him feel something, and then refused to leave. He feels something about Merlin and Ban too, but he's all over the place.

[capybaraonabicycle]

Heyaaa, for the wip ask game, I'd love to know about 5, 15, 16, 23, 27! <3 Hope you're having a good dayyy

I am having the best day 🥰🥰 no, seriously, I saw another butterfly that was all black and had little white/pink ornaments at the tip of the wings. I wanted to take a picture for you but it was gone in an instant, unfortunately. And I've just had great food and I got to write a little today, so I am feeling amazing :)

Let's see (I'm gonna do the cat fic bc that is all I am thinking about atm) :

5. What are the main themes?

Trust, Friendship, Manipulation, Identity, Love, Secrets

(In that order of importance, I think. Feel free to ask about any of them and I can tell you more on why I put them here :) )

15. What do you like about this wip

There's a cat! And my favourite characters!! Admittedly, I have quite many of those in dw but I love writing for the fam and River. Always a joy! I also get to focus a lot more on Yaz x Ryan than I originally planned and that is such a treat. They're so good for each other and the mutual support is making me very happy. Also, River gets to be a sneaky little devil and while that is also kinda giving me a headache, I am living for it :)

Plus, writing 'River forces the Doctor to confront her feelings for Yaz' is my favourite thing ever because

she totally would

I kinda want to do it myself (I like how thasmin was executed for most of it but it remains frustrating. I just wanted more for Yaz. I love her. She deserves a happy ever after with the Doctor (and River))

16. What do you find frustrating about this wip

The length! This was supposed to be a silly little one-shot, where did the plot come from?!

The plot itself is another thing : It is complicated to make it work in general and specifically, I wanted to have some alien baddies involved. And like most of what they should have been able to do could have been achieved by either the cybermen - but the fam doesn't know about them until right before Ryan and Graham leave (nevermind that I am busy breaking canon anyway) - or the timelords - which would have been missing a tiny detail and also I did not know who to pick there as - well Gallifrey's gone right?. And then I looked for alternatives but couldn't find any so in the end I made up some species - which I don't feel entirely comfortable with and it isn't like the most inventive idea anyway and doesn't feel necessary you know? Well I kinda fixed that issue but created new ones and just - why does there have to be plot? I'm not a plot writer. I write pretty little pictures of characters interacting. Not adventure stories. Anyway. Good to challenge yourself and stuff.

23. How would you describe your writing style

Kinda messy ngl. I don't have my computer, so I have been writing on my phone. And just. Don't do that?

But well, there are not many descriptions so far - might need to add those - but loads of dialogue and internal monologue. Like, whoever enjoys listening to Yaz having a queer breakdown for pages and pages will have fun with the fic :)

Also quite a few timejumps and 'this is what happened before/after summarised in 2 sentences' passages, especially in the beginning. Complete with Yaz's comments on them. Like, really, this fic is for Yaz fans. (I hope. Unless I wrote her badly, but I really hope I didn't.)

27. Look for three images which best showcase the overall aesthetic for your WIP

[ID: Top image: grey and blue warehouse-like hall with steam and machinery. Dimly lit and rundown. Middle image: brown tabby cat with yellow eyes lying on a pillow (maybe?). Bottom image: still from Halloween apocalypse, Yaz and the Doctor falling onto a mattress. end ID ]

I know the last one's not really an aesthetic - not quite sure the second one is either but cats and cozy, you get it - but just imagine I am the safety net that's throwing them there. And then you get an accurate idea if what 50% of the fic is like (= me putting them into a bed together and them being very platonic about it even though the feelings aren't)

[tomsmusictaste]

Top 5 Alternative Nightclubs in the UK

Note: this is based entirely on my own experience and I have not been to every nightclub in the UK, alternative or otherwise.

5. The Cathouse - Glasgow

With three different floors catering to three different alternative styles - some pop-punk, some metal, some guilty pleasures - Cathouse has something for everyone if you're into the alternative and absolutely plenty of space to rock out in. In fact when there's no band performing, the raised stage area in the middle floor just becomes another part of the dancefloor, if you really wanna elevate your experience (ba-dum-dum-tsh).

4. Spiders - Hull

Looking for a touch of the gothic or grungy? Look no further than Hull's premiere rock club, Spiders. Glow in the dark spiders painted on the walls? Check! Metal cages shaped like spider-webs? Check! Metal, hard rock, punk and pop-punk? Check on all counts! But perhaps the most unique and iconic thing Spiders has to offer is it's signature cocktail - the Sweet Death. Containing Vodka, Southern Comfort, Peach Schnapps and Midori, topped up with a lemon and lime mixer, this bright green sweet melon drink comes in a pint glass, and for those who enjoy a good alcoholic drink, it's a must have if you're visiting this club.

3. Rise - Newcastle

Have you ever wanted to go to rock club that's right next door to a strip club? Rise has got you covered. Similar to Cathouse, it has three main areas, the main dancefloor having well-known alternative anthems, some more metalcore and deep-cuts on the upper floor, and then there's the wonderful outdoor area; far more than a simple smoking zone, the Terrace has plenty of shelter for if it rains, plays many guilty pleasures and classic rock anthems. And another unique drink to offer, at Rise you can get yourself a Firebucket: a Fireball Whiskey based drink which, yes, comes in a literal bucket. This was a frequent haunt of mine during my uni days and I will always remember the euphoria of spending my 23rd birthday here and Bohemian Rhapsody coming on in the Terrace literally the moment I turned 23.

2. The Key Club - Leeds

This one's the closest to home for me, both metaphorically and literally. It's just, literally the closest to where I live. While I will say I've found Friday nights here to be quite hit-or-miss, I don't think I've ever had a bad Saturday night in this place. It's not the biggest venue, but what it lacks in size, it more than makes up for in energy. Frequent occurrences include a spontaneous moshpit opening up beneath the DJ, the entire room bursting into song when Black Parade comes on, and certain people getting absolutely blasted and having an absolute blast (by "certain people" I may or may not mean me.) I'll admit it's not without it's flaws, but it's a place that feels like home to me. I've danced here, I've sung here, I've even bled here - and I'll happily do it all again. Plus, once you've finished screaming your lungs out, right across the road is not only a McDonalds, but also a Taco Bell - and as we all know, they never taste better than right after you've stumbled out of a club at 3am.

1. Satan’s Hollow - Manchester

So if Key Club is near where I live, and Rise is where I frequented during uni, why does Satan's Hollow take the top spot? Well, simply put, I think it's objectively better. I mean, you want a club that commits to it's aesthetic? Get a load of that great big devil statue looming over the DJ! The main room has a cool raised dancefloor in the middle, playing your more well known alternative anthems, but stay here long enough and the second room will open up! Depending on what day you're going, this will either be the heavier stuff, more metal and metalcore classics, or some golden gems from the pop-punk scene. There's plenty of space inside, 2 bars to get drinks from, the opportunity to mosh in the second room and did I mention how bad-ass that great big devil statue is!? The atmosphere in Satan's is always infectious, and going here is always a treat whenever I'm over in Manchester, so it gets a big thumbs up from me.

[thedreamparadox]

Some long overdue Balan Wonderworld headcanons about the theater bros this time, plus some general Wonderworld worldbuilding.

I have several nicknames for them, most commonly the train twins (not to be confused with the Pokemon train twins), the theater twins, and the therapy twins.

They are both fully qualified therapists, though not licensed, so they are not at liberty to prescribe more than over the counter medications.

The duo basically just popped into reality within the Wonderworld. Whether or not there were Maestros before them is unknown. The theater existed long before they did, but that's the only thing they're actually sure of. They are, in fact, twins, and gender is a suggestion.

Balan is none gender with left sparkly theater. Lance is all the gender but only when he feels like it. Balan treats 'dad' as a title and simply prefers a more masculine aesthetic (after like 3,000 years of kids accidentally or intentionally calling him dad he's gotten used to it).

The duo weren't born with their knowledge of therapy and their theatric flair, that was developed over time and years upon years of study and trial and error. At the very beginning they treated the theater as a place to shelter from life's hardships and a place for others to feel seen and heard. While that hasn't changed, they've come a long way into providing extended assistance to those that need it.

Not everyone visits the Wonderworld. The Wonderworld only allows those that it can actually help through its doors. Anyone with a problem too big to be solved or too small to need their intervention would not be allowed in.

The Wonderworld works a bit like the TARDIS. It is sentient, though not in the conventional way, and very fond of its Maestros.

Theater denizens like Jumping Jack and the other costumes manifest when a Stage is connected. They are aspects of the hearts of guests filtered through the lens of stagecraft. Their magic exists in order to tell a story and that is about it.

The Negati were a real threat that existed in the depths of the Wonderworld proper since the theater's existence began. The existence of the Balan necessitates it. As there is light, there must be shadow. As there is healing, there is harm. The Negati used to lash out at anything that entered the Wonderworld on complete instinct, the species is nothing but concentrated negative emotions with no capacity for complex thought. By taking on the curse of the King, the Negati can be controlled, but they cannot be destroyed, for destroying them would destroy the balance and something stronger and more horrible would manifest in their place.

The curse of the King is a completely original idea of mine used to explain how Lance can control the Negati. (Having priorly written for Vanitas, I could have gone hive mind, but nah. While the Negati may act like they are a hive mind, they don't have enough brains to be one.)

Lance can intentionally spawn Negati from ambient emotions. He doesn't always do this of his own free will, though.

Outside of the Wonderworld, the curse of the King means that its current bearer can feel all ambient negative emotions with full intensity. This can be extremely overwhelming. In the Wonderworld, these emotions are not felt unless the current curseholder refuses to manifest the Negati formed by excess negativity. They normally simply spawn these Negati and go about their day with some extra in the hoard.

Negati exist within the heart of the Wonderworld, a place of nothing but darkness. It's so concentrated because of how sprawling the Stages are.

Tims are also called Positi. They manifest as naturally as Negati. Unlike Negati, they do not spawn from a source.

The magical train, while not seeing use in my posted fics, is a thing used extensively in the stuff I write with my friends. It is an infinitely long magical train with as many rooms as it will ever need. It can exist in any and all dimensions as needed simultaneously. The train itself is usually parked in one static spot while the doors open to other realities/dimensions. The train also links directly to the Wonderworld, but unlike the Stages in the theater, the Stages have to be intentionally built and crafted to link up since it is the theater itself that manifests full stages without input.

The final boss is, in fact, a puppet built by Lance. It's made out of fancy fabrics, paint, and chicken wire, primarily. Its frightening appearance is a combination of skill, lighting, and Lance using his powers to help animate it into something ferocious. The tendrils that poke out of it are Lance's. The eye thingies you have to hit are just props.

Lance is in charge of props and costuming. Balan usually handles anything to do with set design beyond what the Wonderworld does naturally and lighting (he was totally running the lights during the final boss fight).