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textingkpop · 5 years

Text

Learning About Myself

A/N: Sorry I have been so inactive. I am set to graduate University in December so the last few semesters have been killer. I have a Got7 Mark fic in the works so hopefully it will be finished soon. Please feel free to request fics, texts, instagrams, etc.

As always:

Italics are thoughts

Y/N=your name, Y/L/N= your last name

I made the fake texts myself

Pairing(s): Hoshi x Reader

Genre(s): Fluff, College/University AU

Warning(s): swearing, cliche plot lines, chessiness

Word Count: 2,400+

Your professor has this pen pal assignment that is required for your course. Basically, your professor and the professor of another section of the same course, will go through and pair you with someone who is “not like you” in many cases it is someone who is an athlete paired with someone who is more of a homebody. It is really nerve racking and makes you nervous for who you’ll be paired with. You are required to talk to them daily and get to know them, without sharing names or meeting up. Your professors will check in on your progress every once in a while to be sure that you are doing what you need to do. All you have to do now is wait for the text from your pen pal and then hopefully this semester goes by quick.

~Third Person P.O.V.~

It has been about 2 weeks since your first conversation with 'Sunshine' and it has been a very unique experience. You learned Sunshine was a boy day 2 when he told you about his friend accidentally walking into the women’s restroom and all of his friends dying laughing at the poor boy. He never fails to text you and tell you about his day, a joke he found, weird questions/statements at 3 a.m. or just asking how you are. These 3 a.m. questions/statements went from asking the meaning of life to things like:

You never really had someone who cared about how you were doing, your “friends” mainly came to you when they needed someone to vent to but when you tried to vent they were too busy, so you just held everything in and didn't talk about your feelings. Now with Sunshine, you wanted to talk about your day, your troubles and insecurities and it terrified you.

"Hey Y/N. What's up with you lately? You have quieter than normal." One of your friends asks as you guys sit in the cafeteria. Oh now you care.

“I’m fine, it’s just this stupid pen pal project for Mr. McKee’s class.” Your friends nod and then drop the subject entirely. That’s cool. Don’t ask why or anything. It just shows me that you don’t really care. You sigh and start packing your trash away. You get up to leave and none of your “friends” even noticed.

You were so pissed off that you did the only thing you could think of, text Sunshine.

~Y/N P.O.V.~

Art. One of my worst subjects. I liked the technical side of art and designing pieces but when it came to actually creating the pieces I was a lost cause. We decided that it would be easier for Sunshine’s friend to meet me in one of the art studios, since all the supplies we would need would be there and we would not have to worry about making a big mess. I was sitting there with my notebook of ideas and I started to think back to the conversation I had with my art professor earlier that day. She said that I have great ideas but I do not have the ability to make what I have envisioned. She somehow agreed to let me have an “art scribe” basically someone who can work with me and make my ideas come to life. I was relieved yet worried, I mean I have no idea who this person is. I am pulled from my thoughts by a knock on the open studio door. I look up and see Xu Minghao, a Chinese student who is known for his amazing art pieces. I stand up quickly and prepare it find another room.

“Hi, uh...are you Wallflower?” I whip my head in Minghao’s direction and just stare open mouthed at him. “Hello? Am I in the wrong studio?” I quickly pull myself together and shake my head. “No, no I am Wallflower. Are you Sunshine’s friend?” Minghao breaths out the breath he seemed to be holding and smiled. He walked into the studio and shut the door.

“Yeah, I’m Minghao. Ho-Sunshine said you needed help with an art project and that your professor gave you permission to have someone else create your ideas as long as she saw what you had planned to validate that your not taking someone else’s work.” I nod and he just smiles. “So show me what you have in mind and we’ll see if we can make something beautiful.” We looked through my notes and Minghao sketched somethings trying to narrow down what exactly I had in mind. We finally had a big portion of the piece roughly sketched out and Minghao said that he would work to get it sketched out better, so that when we meet again we can discuss colors and other finer details.

In the end, the piece looked amazing and exactly how I envisioned it, and I got an A, so that’s a huge plus. I also became friends with Minghao and he told me embarrassing stories about Sunshine, so there’s that.

~Time Skip: random check in~

“Alright class, today I will be coming around and asking you about your pen pals. Once we talk you are free to go.” Professor McKee says as he starts walking around the room. He finally makes it to you and you are excited to tell him about Sunshine.

“So, Y/N, tell me what you have learned about yourself through this project.” You are taken aback for a moment then you think about the realization that your friends are “snakes.”

“I learned that I have surrounded myself with people who for the most part do not care about me and i need to focus more on myself.” Mr. McKee is shocked by your answer, but he kindly smiles at you, “I’m glad you found this out now and not later in life when those are the only people who you have surrounded yourself with.” You smile and nod. “Okay, well I will see you next week, Y/N.” You nod and pack your things. As you walk out of class you can’t help but wonder if Mr. McKee knew about your friends before this assignment started.

~Time Skip: 3 weeks until the end of the semester, day of pen pal reveal~

During the semester, you finally got rid of a majority of your friend group, mainly because they were either using you or they just did not care about you. Sunshines friends had helped you by either tutoring you or just sitting with and helping you work through your classwork while you also helped them with theirs. Jeonghan helped you with your Economics homework and gave you fashion advice. Joshua helped you with your English homework, mainly by reading the passages and explaining them in ways you could understand. Chan, Vernon, and Seungkwan did not really do anything other than keep you company and ask for your help. In the end, you had met most of Sunshine’s friends at least once and you both followed the rules and never met each other.

Today the professors are announcing your pen pals, both classes have gathering in the auditorium waiting to hear who they have been talking to all semester. You sit close to the back, mainly to avoid your ex-friends. You feel your phone go off and see a text from Sunshine.

From:Sunshine- Wallflower, are you excited? We’ll finally be able to see each other in person! I can’t wait to meet you!

You smile down at your phone. Suddenly, there is a voice next to you. You look up and see Kwon Soonyoung or Hoshi, he is a dancer from the other section.

“Hi, can I sit here? I want to sit in the back so I can find my pen pal easier.” You nod and her smiles brightly, taking the seat next to you. “Are you excited to meet your pen pal? I couldn’t even sleep last night, I am so excited.” You laugh at him, he is basically bouncing in his seat.

“I guess I’m a little excited. I think I’m more nervous than anything, I hope he still likes me after he finds out who I am.” You say quietly. Soonyoung just stares at you for a second, “Why wouldn’t he like you? That’s just mean. If he doesn’t like you then tell me and I’ll kick his butt.” You laugh because everyone knows that Soonyoung is one of the nicest guys on campus. The professors walk out and get everyone’s attention.

“Okay, everyone. Sorry to not have told you before you got settled but let’s have Professor Lee’s class on the left and my class on the right.” Professor McKee says and everyone starts to shuffle to change sides. Soonyoung gets up and smiles at you, “I’ll be watching. If your pen pal is a jerk to you then I’ll steal you for myself.” You blush at his words as he walks to the left side of the auditorium. His pen pal is really lucky. You think to yourself, pulling out your phone to text Sunshine.

To: Sunshine- I’m so nervous! But also excited to see you! :)

From: Sunshine- :D

The professors start calling out names and partners start pairing off and heading to the back of the auditorium to talk. You start getting more and more anxious the longer the list goes.

“Y/N Y/L/N and Kwon Soonyoung!” You freeze, Soonyoung is my pen pal?! You start to feel tears prick your eyes as you slowly stand and meet Soonyoung's gaze. It takes him a second to realize that you are his pen pal, but when he does he runs over to you and pulls you into a tight hug. You are no longer able to hold back your tears as you wrap your arms around him. Soonyoung laughs and leads you out into the hallway. You pulls away and attempt to dry your tears but they just keep falling. Soonyoung steps closer and pulls you into his chest again. “Come on now, Wallflower. You cannot honestly tell me you thought I might not like you.” Soonyoung pulls away and tries to wipe away your tears. “Come on, Wallflower. This is not the proper way to water flowers.” You laugh and slowly your tears stop. Soonyoung takes your hand and leads you back into the auditorium. You see your ex-friends with a couple of guys that they absolutely hate and you can’t help but laugh. Soonyoung looks back at you, “What’s so funny?” You smile and shake your head, “I’ll tell you later.” Soonyoung nods and you both start to work on the reflection papers for your assignment.

After you both finish your reflections, you leave class and head to the local cafe to actually talk to each other. You walk in and Soonyoung is greeted by one of the guys behind the counter.

“Hoshi! Who is this?” Soonyoung pulls you next to him and smiles, “This is Y/N or Wallflower. The assignment is over so we can finally hang out. Y/N this is Mingyu and that is Wonwoo.” You smile and wave at the two boys and Mingyu starts bouncing, “Oh my gosh! Finally, I am tired of hearing you and the others talk about them when I don’t even know them.” You blush knowing that they all talk about you. Soonyoung lead you to a table and you spent the rest of the day talking and laughing with him, occasionally being joined by his friends from time to time.

~Time Skip~

You had stayed in contact with Soonyoung, honestly you spoke to him more than you did your parents. You can’t bare to think about what your life would be like without Soonyoung in it, He was your rock and your shoulder to cry on.

Tonight was your weekly movie night, unfortunately all the guys were sick or taking care of one of the sick ones, well all of them except Soonyoung. He knocked on your door around 8 p.m. holding a box of pizza. You smiled nervously as you let him in, you see recently you have begun to get feelings for Soonyoung but you don’t want to risk ruining this amazing friendship the two of you have.

You are halfway through the second movie when you catch yourself staring at him. Gosh dangit, Y/N! You need to stop acting like this he is one of you best friends and you don’t want to lose him. You mentally scold yourself, unaware of the scowl on your face. Soonyoung notices and asks is your okay, this pulls you out of your mental berating as you look up at him with wide eyes. He laughs, “What are upset about? This movie isn’t that bad.” You laugh and shake your head, “It’s nothing. I just have a lot on my mind right now.” Soonyoung frowns, “You’re stressed and didn’t tell me? What’s going on? Maybe I can help.” You shake your head, “There’s nothing you can really do to help me, Hosh.” Soonyoung frowns again, “I can try.” He says in a small voice, looking down.

You sigh and try to not be obvious, “There’s this guy I like and I don’t know what to do about it.” Soonyoung's head shoots up to look at you. You can see a flicker of hurt in his eyes. Is there a chance that he likes me too? You decide to just go for. “The guy I like, he is really sweet and he really helped me learn about myself. He is an amazing dancer and he is incredibly funny. I just don’t want to ruin the friendship we have built because I don’t know what I would do at this point without him. I mean we meant through this stupid pen pal project for class and we got an A but I don’t know how to tell if he feels the same way. Do you think you can help me?” You look up at Soonyoung, tears almost filling your eyes. Soonyoung looks at you with an amazed expression before smiling and nodding. He slowly slides closer and gently grabs your face, he looks into your eye for permission, you nod and he leans in and your lips meet. You both smile into the kiss, before breaking away and letting out breathy laughs.

“Y/N, would you please date me?” Soonyoung asks while looking into your eyes. You smile and nod, “Of course.” Your lips meet again and Soonyoung smiles. He pulls away and holds you to his chest, “I love my little flower.” You smile and wrap your arms around him, “I love you too, Sunshine.” Soonyoung pulls your face back to his and kisses you deeply, let’s just say you did not finish the movie.

#seventeen #seventeen au #seventeen fake texts #seventeen fic #seventeen hoshi #seventeen hoshi fic #seventeen college au #seventeen kpop #hoshi fic #kwon soonyoung #seventeen soonyoung

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beardyallen · 5 years

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Here we go... (Part 2 of 3)

Alright, so let's talk about April.

[Warning: This is mostly just about my mental health. It’s not super interesting. You won’t learn anything about Beijing. Many of you will probably read this and imagine me sitting here whining. I prefer to call it venting. Feel free to skip this and go directly to Here we go... (Part 3 of 3). It’s where most of the fun stuff is. But...there’s a pretty dope comic about halfway down, so if you also suffer from depression, you should check it out. It’s a good comic. And it makes me smile when everything is gray.]

I generally only talk about my depression with a few people, but I think we could all benefit by having more open discussions about how it affects us. Too many people struggle with this illness, it's stigmatized, and future generations need to know that what they experience is more common than they think. Plus, I imagine that making this beast something that we can talk about will reduce its power and prevalence.

I'm not going to try to talk about the root cause of my issues as I'm not entirely sure where to even start, so I'll just share how it all manifests. And how that's changed over the years. If my mental illness is in fact something that I've been struggling with my entire life, I imagine that it manifested as anger when I was child, usually in response to anxiety around my social situation, exacerbated by end-of-the-semester stress. Why do I think this? Because it seems that I only really got in trouble for acting out in early December or late April/early May. And I was usually retaliating towards a feeling of isolation, invisibility, or worthlessness. It's a pretty strong pattern.

I'm not gonna share any sob stories about how I didn't fit in as a kid, or how moving into a tight-knit community in fifth grade led to a strong feeling of isolation that persisted through middle school and high school. I'm not going to talk about the bullying or harassment. These are things that happened, but they aren't the point. And I'm just as much, if not more, to blame for my circumstances as anyone else.

The anxiety is the point. The feeling that I've had at every stage of my life that I don't matter to the people around me if I'm not always around. That they don't think about me. That if I vanished from their life, they wouldn't notice. That I was replaceable. Or that I was a burden that they would rather shirk off. As far as I can tell, I've felt this way since kindergarten, and all of the anger I felt as a child was in response to stimuli that reinforced this notion.

And in April, the intrusive, invasive thoughts started up again. Yes, of course there were people who wanted to know what was going on with me. There were people who frequently checked in with me to see how I was doing in China. I had every reason to believe that I matter, that my presence was missed, and that I'm still important to people. And in spite of that, it's not how I felt. It even led me to start questioning whether or not my best friend cared about me, which is absurd because of course he does. Life happens. But the voice in my head is a prick.

On top of that, every source of stress in my life spiked. Complications with my teaching assignment manifested, including (but not limited to) issues with my paychecks. Financial reimbursements for my health insurance policy have not been disbursed despite repeated messages to those responsible. Since I'm currently not enrolled in any course credit, my student status was revoked and now those entities which own my student loan debt are looking for payments. My dissertation research stagnated as my collaborator has other super important grad school obligations to deal with, and my Masters Project has been put on hold again for reasons outside my control. It also seems to just get bigger every time I try to make progress. There's also a nagging voice in the back of my head constantly whining about how much more complex my project seems to be in comparison to other Masters projects I've seen from the department. But when the voice pops up, I do what I can to pummel it into submission. I can't live my life in comparison to others.

Beyond that, I randomly wound up with a case of insomnia. For three nights in a row, I laid in bed for hours staring at the inside of my eyelids, watching imaginary scenarios play out as my consciousness jumped from random topic to random topic. In spite of how exhausted I was, I just couldn't get my brain to turn off for more than 30 minutes at a time; during the one or two brief naps, I was privy to some of the most vivid dreams and nightmares that I've had, and my baseline dream/nightmare is already more vivid than most.

So work sucked, minor frustrations related to living in Beijing, no sleep, missing my friends, trying to not freak out about the fact that I'll be effectively homeless all summer (insomuch as I won't have an apartment that I'm officially renting or anything), worrying about the fact that I'm not making as much money as I projected, and just being sick and tired of being sick and tired. April was super fun, guys. Can't you tell?

Mental illness blows. Depression blows. Intrusive thoughts blow.

So I spent an absurd amount of time doing very little. Laying in bed. Reading comic books and rewatching Community. Not writing. Not researching. Being pathetic.

Wondering if I should reconsider my stance on medication. So let's talk about that.

From a philosophical standpoint, I don't much care for the idea of needing a medication to get myself on track. My mental illness is a part of who I am just as much as my intellect and sense of humor are a part of who I am. I'm no genius, but let's consider those individuals who have been described as such and think about just how many of them are suspected to have been depressed or grappling with some sort of mental illness. I'm not going down in history as anyone whose mind is something to admire, but I know that I'm smarter than your average bear. I'm a PhD student studing theoretical mathematics, probability and statistics. I'm simulataneously working on a dissertation related to subgraph density problems and a masters project centered around reconstructing familial networks in forensic databases. These topics are not related, nor has the coursework had very much overlap. Balancing two different graduate degrees is not common among people in my department, but I know that I can handle it.

So if I seek out medication as a means to balance my life, what sort of unforeseen impact will that have on my studies? It is not uncommon for the process of finding "the right medication" to take months, and as your life changes, so too does "the right medication." I have one year left in my program (maybe two if I'm unlucky, and that seems to be how my life goes), my diet is fucked, my sleep schedule has been jacked up for the last few months, and I haven't had regular physical activity excepting the 2 mile walks to and back from Wudaokou several times a week. My work life is tumultuous at the best of times, and all of this is changing in the not-so-distant future. I have been in academia my entire life, living on the same stress-rhythm for the past 24 years. What happens when I'm suddenly a research or data scientist?

Medication is off the table for the time being. I had bi-weekly counseling last semester which seemed to help with my stress levels, but at some point I would like some sort of diagnosis. But before I can seek therapy, I need to be back in the States, with some sort of stable life. That means August of September at the earliest. Probably September. In the meantime, I bounce between feeling like I've got everything figured out and feeling like I'm holding my sanity together with scotch tape. All the while, I question all of the things I thought I knew about how I wanted my life to look as I see more clearly every day just how messed up the world is. Ignorance definitely wasn't bliss, but knowing doesn't feel much better.

------------------------------------

Damn. That was pretty bleak. But I needed to get it out of my head.

Enjoy this dope little comic that I think about every Sunday to help me get through the week.

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Now back to it. I'm open to therapy, I know that it will help. It's part of my long-term plan for mental stability. And I'm open to talking about medication with my future therapist, once the "big issues" in my life that I can control are worked out.

In the meantime, I'm okay. Or at least that's what I'll say whenever someone asks.

Of course I'm not okay. For some reason that I haven't yet worked out, my brain focuses on the negatives waaaaay too much. I do my best to combat it, but generally I've just managed to make this work to my advantage throughout my life, planning for worst-case scenarios, being comfortable with failing when I try to solve a problem, being the skeptic in my research groups. It's made me a better mathematician. It's made me push myself further towards excellence. But it's also inherently held me back.

Before I really had a grasp on my mental illness, I would have periods of numbness. I would get absorbed by these intrusive thoughts and mistake them for my authentic voice. I would see everything around me as gray and conclude that my friendships weren't as wonderful and remarkable as they are, that my relationship is doomed to fail because I don't feel a spark or magnetism anymore, that I'm not actually supposed to be a graduate student and that I'm not good enough and that I've only made it this far as a fluke and eventually everyone will figure out that I'm a fraud. And I've made mistakes because of it. I've let friendships die, relationships fail, and...alright, so I've pretty much been kicking ass at the grad school thing, but I guess my response to feeling like a fraud is usually to push myself super hard until I start burning out. This actually happened last school year when I was preparing for my comprehensive exam, which led to my oral exam, which led right into the end of the semester, with several conferences that I was running and attending, and then a research workshop and then...my seizures came back. Maybe "seizure" isn't quite correct, but I'm not sure what else to call it when my body has a stress-induced reaction that feels like someone swinging an icepick in the back of my skull.

So I'm not okay. But for the time being, that's just going to have to be okay. [Queue i'm ok. by Judah and the Lion]

I could use a nap.

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adapted-batteries · 5 years

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Goodbye 2018, you mixed bag of a year

Maybe it’s just this weird sort of depression slump I’ve fallen into this winter break, but I spent half of it thinking I didn’t do much of anything this past year. Thankfully, I’ve realized that was totally depression talking, because I did quite a lot, just maybe not big things.

(yes I know it’s not midnight yet, but I’m an old person apparently and will go to bed at like 10pm cuz that’s what I do now, so I’m posting this now)

It's honestly wild to think just a year ago, I'd not believe it if you told me I’d willingly cook a variety of vegetables and eat them happily. I'm not even sure what really changed to make it easy to do; I mean growing older probably helped get my body out of that whack, but it was like a switch: I used to not be able to eat most veggies without gagging and discomfort...and now I can. I suppose younger me did pray once that my taste buds would change because I knew I needed to eat better, but I couldn’t, and maybe that prayer came to pass.

I also ended up losing a running total of 30lbs since March, which is the most weight I’ve ever lost since like middle school (I was on the bottom edge of obese from late elementary till this summer, so like the past 10 or so years of my life). Previous weight loss attempts saw maybe a 10lb change, and it always came back, but this time I really put in the effort, and tried to find healthier, filling meals to replace not great ones...and it worked! I’m still sort of in shock that it did because it was a problem for so long. And the cool bit is even mild injury didn’t make me lose progress either (thanks right knee and stupid hemorrhoids for being an ass). I hit some issues, but I problem solved and healed. That’s pretty big, and I never realized it.

Then there was going to Canada, my first out of country experience, my first mission trip. Those are two big things, though like half the time I keep forgetting that happened this year...2018 has been too long. There weren’t any amazing stories I had from that trip, but I went, mostly enjoyed myself, and was able to be of use in my own way, even though 80% of the trip was for us to be talking to people. I didn’t talk to a whole lot of people; I was almost always with other, more talkative team members, or I was on my own, or I was playing guitar. And a miniscule part of me said I failed, but this year was also me figuring out again that I have specific talents, and I do use them to help others...so I don’t have to compare myself to the majority that have more social gifts.

I then spent the summer doing the most work hours I’ve ever done with tutoring, and caring for the atrium in the middle of the biology building. It probably wasn’t great that I never got a summer break...our return flight from Canada came in at midnight, and then 10 hours later I was at work for tutoring, so I never got to recover from people. And I felt that into the fall semester too, got close to having a bad burnout spell, but I didn’t, and that’s a big thing too.

Two classes I thought I was gonna get B’s in, and I’d resigned myself to get those grades, ended up surprising me both with A’s, as if the universe saw I was doing my best, and deserved a little bump up. I had to deal with so many people this past fall semester it was unreal; 3 group projects which were all significant portions of my grade, two research papers, a class whose final I didn’t know was cumulative until a week before its final, and on top of all of that, I continued my weight loss journey and continued working as a tutor and little maintenance here and there in the atrium until December.

Even just writing that, having to think back, I’m kind of surprised I pulled through so successfully. Granted, I was on the verge of burnout by the end of October, and I did quit going to the writing club meetings because I couldn’t even think in an artist mindset, let alone bring work to be critiqued, and that sucked. Writing has always been my outlet. Sometimes I can get that energy out with art, and I did paint two small things, plus inktober, but I wrote one short story, Demon Matchmaker, in early September (didn’t post it until much later), and then didn’t do anything since.

That I know wasn’t good. Because now I’m on break, too mentally exhausted to create much, but also aware I have pent up creative energy I need to get out eventually. I at least kept up my reading schedule of roughly two books a month, some sizeable fanfic sprinkled in when I was in between books (there’s just so many big and good Check, Please! fics out there). But the problem with keeping up my reading, but not my writing, is that ideas and inspiration come in...but they didn’t go out.

So now I’m here, December 31st, writing this out, helping me remember that, yes, I did a lot this year, I made it through, I’ve achieved, and it’s okay that I feel tired right now. Sure, things weren’t ideal; I didn’t get an internship for the summer, I didn’t feel safe to come out or cut my hair, I didn’t get a break, but I did a lot, and it’s work that I didn’t do for nothing. I figured out I want to focus on psychology as my career, got into another psychology lab for more experience (and reference people for grad school applications), did great in all my classes despite the excess stress, ventured out of my comfort zone a little, improved my health.

The work I put into this year will carry on into 2019, and I can’t discount it just because “easy things” felt like a struggle. That’s a whole other rant post, but I’ll finish this up by saying 2018 may have tried to kick me down, but I held my ground and grew stronger, and I’m facing 2019 with determination and as much hope as I can muster.

#flynn rambles #new years reflections #health #weight loss #stress #work

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onesmallspark · 6 years

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Welcome to my new fic - For You

I still haven't decided if this will be a T’Challa fic or an Erik “Killmonger” Stevens fic, but it is slightly AU. It is my first Marvel Universe fic, so please be gentle. This will get smutty af. Let me know if you enjoy!

Chapter 1

Ava Yates was in over her head. This isn’t at all where she saw an internship taking her and she was without a doubt, 100 percent in over her head.

Ava had spent the past year - and the last year of her graduate assistant internship - working at the newly established Wakandan Outreach Center in Oakland. There, she was on staff as a photographer, hired by the Wakandan council to document the progress the outreach center was making in its first year of service to the surrounding community.

Images she captured lined the walls of the three initial buildings, were used in promotional news material and lived on social media sites that were run by other graduate assistants to show what incredible work the Wakandan agency was doing.

In her time, she had taken a particular shining to Shuri, another girl she met during her internship. It was months before Ava realized just how instrumental the young girl was to the entire operation – nevermind the fact that she was a Princess. It was actually one of the things that Shuri loved most about Ava, she treated her just like anyone else.

That, and Shuri had plans for her friend Ava who she had come to love dearly. Big, important plans.

- - -

Parking her little Volkswagen Jetta, Ava slung her camera bag over her shoulder and pulled the sunglasses from her face as she walked toward the entrance to the main campus building of the Wakandan Outreach Center. Looking up, she saw a large group of kids and adults playing basketball on the refurbished court just to the right of the entryway. Shuri was standing off to the side watching, occasionally filming with her kimoyo bead.

“Watch this?” Ava asked, dropping her purse at Shuri’s feet before pulling her camera out and hopping into action. Some of the kids she recognized, they were regulars at the center and came for after school activities and on the weekends. She assumed that they didn’t have much to go home to – if anything at all.

She didn’t, however, recognize any of the adults at first. Risking life and limb, at least in her mind, she posted up under the basket, kneeled on the sidelines and got just close enough to capture some great content

“Can you tell me who everyone is?” She asked, pulling out her phone. Shuri was always a help to identify any visitors to the center for captions. Shuri listed off names, left and right for Ava, watching as she typed them into what she insisted was her primitive iPhone. Ava just loved remembering the day that Shuri had to get an iPhone in order to best communicate with the rest of the staff.

“Erik, E-R-I-K,” Ava looked up to see one of the players standing incredibly close, watching as she typed the names into her phone.

“And last name?” She asked. Erik glanced to his cousin, who harbored a smug smile.

“Stevens… with a ‘v,’” he added.

“Got it, thanks!” She said, picking up her bag at Shuri’s feet, her camera with attached lens still hanging around her neck and hoofing it back to the building. The sooner she could get these uploaded the better – she always liked her photos to be timely and that way, the social media staff could put them up as soon as possible, too.

Uploading and labeling the photos didn’t take long, but she took a moment to edit them for best possible light exposure and shadows.

Growing up, Ava wanted to be a journalist – breaking news and sharing information with the world and doing good. Then, as she got older, and her mother gifted her with her first Polaroid camera, she learned that she could do a lot of good through the medium of photographs. She liked to take pictures of her brother’s baseball games, her father hard at work as an architect, and her mother, who ran a small daycare out of their home. She was a mother to many children in their neighborhood.

She now clung to some of those photos as a lifeline, they were the closest things she had to her family after a car crash on Pacific Coast Highway claimed the lives of the nearly all of the Yates family.

Ava missed the accident, staying at home to sleep off a cold while her family traveled out of town for one of her big brother’s baseball games.

She hoped after undergrad at Berkley to get an internship in a newsroom or with a paper, taking photos. When she delayed joining what her friends teased as the “real world,” by pursuing her master’s degree, she was required to take a practicum and somehow, through a photo essay and presentation, secured her internship at the WKOC.

Ava knew she was lucky – beyond lucky – to end up where she did, but now, after finally finishing the last credits of her Master’s, her internship was coming to an end and she was officially job hunting.

Twenty minutes after sending the photos from today’s pickup game to social, she began archiving, selecting a few that she thought would look good projected on the walls of the center’s indoor gym.

“Are you done yet?” Shuri asked, sitting on the side of Ava’s small desk, nearly knocking a picture frame off of the structure.

“I just got here,” Ava laughed at her young friend. Some days it was easy to forget that Shuri was only seventeen – nearly eighteen. Other days, it was glaringly obvious.

“But I don’t want to work today,” Shuri whined, “I want to go shopping, my Mother is visiting next week and she’s going to kill me if I don’t wear something a little more… well, less this,” she motioned down to her distressed Metallica band t-shirt she had dressed up with some silver jewelry.

“You have more clothes than anyone knows what to do with,” Ava said, not tearing her eyes off her screen. “Plus, I’ve got to run and meet with an advisor to sign up for health insurance at two,” she sighed. “Don’t grow up, it’s a trap.”

“I don’t understand why Americans have to pay for health care,” Shuri sighed, “no one benefits from that,” she pointed out.

“Sure they do, babe, just not us peons,” Ava winked. Shuri rolled her eyes.

“My brothers are going to take us to lunch today,” She said casually. Ava paused her scroll through her inbox.

“I can’t, I’ve got lunch plans,” Ava replied, picking up her phone.

“Yeah, with me,” Shuri insisted.

“I swear, I had something else…” Ava scrolled through her phone.

“I told you to mark off a meeting weeks ago, it’s for me,” Shuri grinned. “And do you think we can do something with this before then?” She asked, fluffing up a bit of Ava’s brunette hair over her shoulder.

“Why would I need to do that?” Ava asked, eyeing up her little companion.

“We have a surprise for you,” Shuri said excitedly.

“Oh no,” Ava frowned. Shuri could be incredibly generous and incredibly giving – to the point of discomfort, but Ava couldn’t dampen her spirit.

“It’s a very good surprise, I promise,” Shuri tugged a little bit on Ava’s hair.

“Okay, let me get some work done and I’ll be ready for lunch,” Ava insisted. Shuri rolled her eyes dramatically, but agreed to it nonetheless.

Ava had never met King T’Challa, and she didn’t know that Shuri even had another brother… but she was never one to meddle in royal business. Except, that is, to stay up late into the night and watch Prince William and Kate’s wedding.

Sure, she had seen photos of King T’Challa, his mother and other members of the Royal Guard from their portraits, but that covered the extent of her exposure. Though the family had made visits to the WKOC, she wasn’t there all the time thanks to the last few classes she had taken this semester. Soon, she wasn’t going to be there at all, which made her heart heavy.

Over the past year, she had come to think of the WKOC as a second home – somewhere she often spent more time than her actual home. To be able to be a part of the organization in it’s first year of operation made her feel like part of something great and wonderful. Walking away next month after graduation was going to be incredibly hard. Well, that and not having a job yet.

The first three hours of the day went by quickly. On Thursdays, Ava got to spend the entire day at the WKOC thanks to most of her classes being Monday through Wednesday and a morning class on Friday.

Thursdays were also a big catch-up day and she often found herself working over the weekend to make it a little less overwhelming. Soon, Shuri was back at her desk, a wide smile on her face as her feet swung over the floor.

“Hello, are you hungry?” Shuri asked.

“Starved,” Ava replied honestly. “Let me run to the bathroom quick and then I’ll be ready to go,” she said, hopping up form her seat.

“I’ll be out front,” Shuri called as Ava stepped toward the restroom. Quickly relieving herself and washing her hands, she grabbed brush out of her purse and ran it through her hair, fixing her side part. Sure, her hair was a little limp, but it had certainly been worse. She grabbed her trusty drugstore lipstick from her purse, touching up the deep red before checking her teeth. She was always finding little lipstick spots on her pearly-whites that drove her nuts.

Glancing over her outfit, she knew she was a hopeless case for lunch with royalty. Skinny blue denim and a white v-neck under a pink button-down wasn’t the worst she’d ever thrown together for work, but it certainly wasn’t the best. At least Shuri wasn’t too dressed up or she’d really feel like a shlub.

“As good as it gets,” She sighed, popping in a breath mint.

With no sign of Shuri at her desk, she turned back toward the entrance, spotting Shuri and two other forms on the other side of the glass doors.

“Here she is,” Shuri smiled. Ava always found Shuri’s smile reassuring.

“I’m here,” Ava grinned.

“Brother, this is Ava, my favorite person in all of Oakland,” Shuri introduced. Ava turned to face King T’Challa.

“It’s very nice to meet you, your Highness,” Ava smiled connecting her hand with hi own.

“The pleasure is all mine,” he greeted, “please, call me T’Challa,” he insisted. “Shuri never stops talking about you,” he added, making Ava laugh.

“Ava, this is my other brother, but you’ve met,” Shuri teased, introducing the man she somewhat met earlier at the basketball court.

“Erik,” the man in question reminded as he noticed her drawing a blank.

“Nice to meet you, Erik,” Ava greeted.

“Okay, okay, let’s go I am going to whither away I am so hungry,” Shuri insisted dramatically. As soon as she finished her statement, a slick black town car rolled to a stop in front of them.

“I’ll meet you there,” Erik called, walking over to a vintage Indian motorcycle parked near the side of the second building.

“Ladies, please,” T’Challa opened the back door for the two women.

Shuri crawled into the car first, leaving the next seat for Ava as T’Challa sat up front.

The ride to Wood Tavern wasn’t long and unbeknownst to Ava, the King in the front seat found his eyes drifting to her in the rearview mirror as she spoke gently with Shuri. It was incredibly obvious to T’Challa that his baby sister thought the world of this woman. He could admit that he, too, was rather curious about her. She was beautiful, there was no denying that, but a few of the things Shuri had mentioned had him curious as well. It seemed she had no family, was just finishing school and was living just outside of Oakland near Berkley.

He trusted Shuri more than anything else and knew that he was going to be making the right choice today.

That, and he wondered what those red lips would look like mussed from his kiss.

Arriving at Wood Tavern just behind the town car, they heard the Indian motorcycle come to a stop beside the town car.

“Ah, ah,” Erik said, opening the door to the restaurant, “ladies don’t touch doorknobs,” he winked, pulling it open for Ava. She smiled softly and filed in, the staff immediately taking note of the patrons and ushering them quickly to a private room.

Squared away at a grandiose table already lined with charcuterie and wine glasses, the foursome took their seats.

“I told my brothers this is your favorite restaurant,” Shuri smiled. She had an overeager puppy quality to hear that Ava always found endearing.

“They have the best pork chops,” Ava grinned. They fell into a comfortable conversation, mostly led by Shuri, who seemed at peace between her two brothers. Ava noted the differences between T’Challa and Erik. They could be related, she figured, but they didn’t share many of the same features. T’Challa spoke with a thick, regal accent and Erik sounded like any other guy she’d meet in Oakland. There was certainly a story to the family. She was glad to have a big plate of food set in front of her not too long after placing their orders.

“Ava, my baby sister tells me you’re graduating from Berkley in a month’s time,” T’Challa called to her attention as their meals wound down.

“That’s right, I’ll finish with my Master’s in fine arts with a concentration in photography communication and archival,” she nodded.

“Photography communication,” Erik parroted, taking a drink of his gin and tonic.

“Yes,” Ava nodded, “using photography as a mode for storytelling and the capture of transient information,” she suggested. “I think in the same way that early man painted on walls, we can communicate information from generation to generation through photography,” she explained. “It’s actually a minor part of my thesis,” she offered.

“I’d take a look at that,” Erik said, studying the exact shape of her bowed lips as they pursed around the rim of her water glass.

“And the end of the month signals the end of your time at our outreach center,” T’Challa commanded her attention once again, though, T’Challa’s presence always commanded an awareness.

“Yes, that’s correct,” Ava agreed again. “I’m so sad to finish, I love working here so much,” she said with utmost sincerity, “I feel so lucky to be able to tell the story of the people who benefit from your presence in our country – and more specifically, in Oakland.” Erik eyed her carefully. “Though I was fortunate enough to live in a safe, well-maintained neighborhood as a child, not all of my friends did. I know I was much more fortunate than others, but Oakland is my home,” she continued. “To see the strides that have been made in this community in just one short year have been… refreshing. I know that Oakland is better off now than it was a year ago thanks to Wakanda.” She expressed.

“Shuri has shared with us many of your images,” T’Challa began, “some of which hang in the halls of the Wakandan capitol.” That was news to Ava, and momentarily, took her breath away.

“I-in Wakanda?” She asked, eyes as wide as saucers.

“You know what you’re doing,” Erik complimented.

“Wow, I never… I didn’t realize that my photos would be in – would be there,” she nearly lost her composure entirely.

“As we bring more and more people into our country and become a larger part of the world around us… we need someone to help tell our story – in Wakanda,” T’Challa explained, to which Ava nodded, taking another sip of her water.

“We are hoping that it is an undertaking you are willing to attempt,” he added. Ava nodded again setting her water down. A beat passed as Shuri nudged her friend with her foot under the table. Ava jumped a foot in her seat.

“Wait, I’m so sorry, I just – what?” She gasped, “You want me to stay?” She asked.

“No, Ava!” Shuri laughed.

“We want you in Wakanda,” Erik’s deep voice interjected. “Telling the story of our people,” he explained. She looked over at Erik, who was cool and collected in his seat, leaning back as he examined her. T’Challa was alert, and while still cool and collected, more engaged physically in the conversation.

“You want me to come to Wakanda?” She asked, completely gob smacked.

“Your role would be official staff photographer of the Royal family,” T’Challa explained. Ava was still speechless.

“Move to Wakanda?” She resembled a baby owl, her innocent face and big eyes unblinking.

“Yes!” Shuri exclaimed, “We want you to come to Wakanda and work with us! Are you going to do it or not?” She asked impatiently

“Shuri,” T’Challa scolded.

“I, wow, this is…” She didn’t think she’d completed an entire sentence since they sat down. Even just being here at lunch with the King of Wakanda and his siblings was hard enough to wrap her head around, but now, a job offer. Could she move to Wakanda? She wouldn’t know a soul there… where would she live? Would she be paid a fair wage? How secure was the need for the role? Would she just be looking for a job again in a year?

It was the opportunity of a lifetime… and she’d be crazy to turn it down.

“I’ll do it.”

#black panther #black panther fanfiction #black panther fanfic #erik killmonger #erik stevens #t'challa #t'challa fanfic #erik killmonger fanfic #t'challa imagine #erik killmonger imagine #full length fic #marvel fanfic #t'challa smut #killmonger smut #michael b jordan #chadwick boseman #shuri

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pyxel-spree · 7 years

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ultimate back to school masterpost

it has come…the witching hour…the time of doom is now upon us…okay so obviously ignore me, i’m a huge nerd. but if you’re like me, going back to school is a terrible, nerve-wracking experience. so here are some tips to help you survive this.

1. Do. Your. Summer. Work. If you haven’t started on it now, turn off whatever device you’re reading this on and start working. Many teachers will test you on whatever summer work you were assigned, and occasionally it can count for a significant portion of your first semester grade. Seriously, don’t put it off until the last minute, because then you really won’t want to do it. Plus, then you’ll have more time to focus on binge-watching Netflix uninterrupted.

2. Whether you’re moving to an entirely new school or just a new grade, things will change this year in some way. You have to be ready for it. And you-yes, you-can be one of those things. It’s never too late to reinvent yourself. Want to dye your hair? Try a new extracurricular? Break a bad habit? Learn a new language? Go for it.

3. Push yourself, but not at the expense of your mental health. No test or project is worth breaking down over. That being said, procrastination is the enemy of progress. You won’t do it later-and if you do, you won’t do it as well as you could have.

4. Make time for your friends and yourself. Don’t let school take over your life. Self care and having fun are important too.

5. Wherever you are, whenever you are, people are going to judge you. It’s how we’re wired-we’re a judgmental species. There’s really no point in worrying about how other people perceive you because you can’t please everyone. You could be an actual saint canonized by the pope AND cure cancer AND negotiate an armistice between the forces of good and the rabid radioactive alien wolves sworn to destroy all humanity and still some people are going to call you “bitchy,” “fake,” “weird,” “trying too hard,” et cetera, et cetera. Be unabashedly you.

6. You are smart. Really really smart. So what if you don’t have perfect grades or the best ACT score? If you’re trying your best-really, really your best-no one can fault you for it.

7. People who are confident in the knowledge of their own intelligence don’t:

play the “grade game” i.e. “whadja get??? i’m sure you did great…seriously whadja get tho?? c’mon show me, i won’t tell anyone.” (u know these kids)

loudly complain about getting an A minus/B plus when they know other people didn’t do as well as them

say they “didn’t study” every time there’s a test

cheat

lecture people when they didn’t ask for it

brag about their grades/scholarships/other opportunities

compare themselves to/compete with other students constantly

condescend to others

talk about how much “busier” they are than other students all the time

put others down whenever they talk about successes (”i’ve won loads of those; it’s not that hard to do.” “you do know everyone who applied for science olympiad got in, right?”) *the last one someone actually said to me-and it was a blatant lie so double wtf??

lie about accomplishments when asked (just say you don’t want to talk about it its? not? that? hard?)

make fun of people who don’t do as well as you

Bottom line: Be honest with yourself-do you do any of these things? If so, why? The truth is, if you view your academic life as this crazy competition, you’re not going to have any fun, you’re going to lose friends over it, and people aren’t going to see you as a role model to emulate, they’re going to think you’re well…an arrogant, self-centered tool. Everyone loves that you care about school, and everyone can see that you’re really smart and driven. You have nothing to prove, and everything to lose. If you want to do well for yourself, that’s great. But if it’s all about one-upping other people, it’s not worth it. Like in writing, show, don’t tell, how competitive of a student you are.

8. Good friends don’t:

put you down

exclude you

stifle you

use you as an emotional dumping ground

stop supporting you

tell people your secrets

gaslight you

manipulate you

make you feel unsafe

abuse you in any capacity

threaten to rescind their friendship for small offenses

make jokes that you find offensive��

ignore you/give you the silent treatment without telling you what’s wrong

pressure you into doing things you don’t want to

only hang out with you when their “best friends” aren’t around

talk about themselves all the time but never ask you about yourself

mooch off you

stop talking to you for no reason

refuse to stick up for you when people are being jerks

Bottom line-if you feel like you come in second, if you feel like you’re the one that has to do all the work in the friendship, you have to ask yourself why you’re trying so hard. Having healthy friendships is as important as having healthy romantic relationships. Of course, there are degrees to how toxic friendships can be. I’ve been in some fairly awful ones that I had to cut off completely, but I’ve managed to reconnect with other people who I didn’t have good friendships with (i’m always careful never to get too close to those people though.) If you’re being abused or manipulated by a friend, you need to CUT THAT PERSON OFF. You deserve friends who treat you with respect. If your friends don’t, you’re better off alone (at least until you’ve found some real friends.)

9. No significant other or crush is more important than your grades, your extracurriculars, or your mental health. If your relationship is taking over your life, take a step back and ask, “Where do I see this going?” Don’t waste time with people who don’t treat you right or people who aren’t interested. When the right person comes along (and they will!), you won’t have to feel nervous or awkward around them.

10. Study smarter, not harder. Use abbreviations in your notes and find shortcuts to difficult math problems. Of course, do all your homework. It’ll cost you big time in the long run.

11. Buy some clothes that you actually want to wear, and get rid of the ones that you hate. It’ll make getting up in the morning that much better if you feel confident about how you look. Dress for yourself-you are not “slutty” or “trying too hard” for wanting to look good.

12. Find your textbooks online so you don’t have to lug them back and forth every day. Don’t wait to buy your supplies-buy them now so you can get good deals and won’t end up scouring every office supply store for that particular brand of pencil.

13. Participate. Seriously. I didn’t realize what a difference this made until I got to high school. Even if you feel like you’re going to get the question wrong, even if you feel like you’re not smart enough to add anything interesting to the class discussion, say something. Not only does it make the teacher notice you-which in a big class is super important-it’ll show that you’re paying attention and that you want to learn. If you participate, teachers will be more likely to remember you and you’ll feel more confident about yourself, as well as less tempted to doze off or talk to your friends. Do this in all your classes-even the ones you’re not as good at-and you will see better grades-guaranteed (especially if they grade on participation).

14. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You’re not stupid if you don’t understand something. If you can, ask someone to tutor you if you’re struggling. Ask the teacher for extra practice on what you struggle with. If no one is asking your question for you in class, you have to ask it yourself, otherwise you’re never going to learn.

15. Hard test? Start studying 3-4 days in advance. One day review notes and material; the others do practice exercises or quiz yourself. If possible, study with friends-as long as they don’t distract you. Take 5-10 minute breaks in between sessions so you don’t burn out.

16. Make a studying playlist and a motivational playlist. You’ll be amazed at how much better you feel about studying. Only do extracurriculars you actually enjoy-not ones you just do because you think it will look good on some application or the other. Don’t load up on these activities either or your grades will start to dip.

17. Know the dates and times of any big standardized tests you’re taking (SAT, ACT, PSAT, AP tests, IB tests, IGSE, GCSE, SAT Subject Tests, etc.). Plan to start reviewing for these at least a month before the exam. (and a month before only if you know you’re really good at that kind of test-taking.)

18. Edit your essays, once by yourself and once with a friend. Know the format your teacher wants so you don’t have to waste time googling “MLA in-text citation” every time you have an essay due.

19. This may come as a surprise to you, but you are not the center of the universe. So before you go on long rants about how hard your life is, remember, you have no idea what the person you’re sitting next to might be going through. You are not the only person ever who’s had to juggle hard classes, extracurriculars, a job, and family problems at the same time. Other people are also struggling-what you’re going through is not more difficult or more meaningful than what anyone else is dealing with. This year, make a resolution to ask people questions about themselves, to listen to others, instead of making everything about you. You will be surprised at how much more people will trust you and how many more friends you will make. Also, guess what? Bad days happen to everyone-so stop taking out your frustrations on people that you care about. It’s petty, it’s stupid, it’s not fair, and it’s the quickest way to make your bad day a little worse.

20. Regardless of whatever happens this year, you will graduate, you will get a job that makes you happy, and you will be a wonderful, intelligent, beautiful, successful human being. If you get nothing else out of this post, take this-don’t get yourself so taken in by that weird, hive-mind-toxic culture that school perpetuates that you lose the ability to deal with the people who are truly important to you. At the end of the day, you want to say that you came out of this school year a happier, wiser person than you entered it.

#studyblr #masterpost #mine #tips #important #self care #love yourself #first day of school #back to school #lookstudyblr #emmastudies

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bisoroblog · 5 years

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How Mastery-Based Learning Can Help Students of Every Background Succeed

NEW YORK — At New York City’s Urban Assembly Maker Academy high school in lower Manhattan, two things immediately stand out. First, its teachers are rarely standing at the front of the classroom dispensing facts and figures for students to dutifully transcribe. Instead, they’re constantly on the move, going from table to table facilitating group discussions and providing feedback as students work. Second, the students reflect the racial diversity of the city. Within one of the nation’s most segregated school systems, Maker Academy has attracted a mix of black, Latino, white and Asian students in which no single group makes up less than 10 percent or more than 46 percent of the population.

“This is the most diverse school that I’ve ever been a part of in my 15 years in education,” says school principal Luke Bauer. “We have kids from the projects and kids who take Ubers.”

The school’s leaders made diversity a priority before it even opened five years ago, Bauer says, when they chose not to use grades or test scores as admissions criteria. They also embraced a nontraditional educational model. Like a growing number of schools around the country, Maker Academy uses a mastery-based learning model, in which static letter grades on one-off tests and assignments are jettisoned in favor of detailed feedback that students use to revise their work as they progress toward mastery of clearly defined skills. Instead of receiving a C grade on an essay, for example, a student’s evaluation may include a 1 out of 4 in reasoning, a 2 out of 4 in evidence and a 3 out of 4 in communication, with an opportunity to submit additional drafts throughout the semester.

The results are promising. The school saw 90 percent of its inaugural class graduate in 2018 while surpassing the citywide average in measures of college readiness. It ranks high on the education department’s annual school quality surveys, and it’s becoming increasingly attractive to families, with five times more applicants than seats available, according to the most recent city data.

With 1.1 million students in 1,800 schools, New York City’s school system is the largest in the country. By the city’s own count, roughly 70 percent of its schools are segregated by race and income. The result is essentially a two-tiered system of public education — academically thriving schools for students from white and affluent families, and underperforming schools that almost exclusively serve black and Latino students from low-income families.

New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio and his schools chancellor, Richard Carranza, have made racial and socioeconomic equity a priority. A panel commissioned by the mayor recently released a report calling for schools to mirror the demographics of their surrounding neighborhoods and to implement principles of culturally responsive education as a way to combat the city’s persistent achievement gap. At Maker Academy and about three dozen other mastery-based schools in the city, culturally responsive teaching practices are already taking root. These schools are also among the most diverse in the city.

Maker Academy teacher Gerry Irrizary works with students in his Design Principles class. (Amadou Diallo for The Hechinger Report)

Yet support for these schools within the education department has been lukewarm. A small division that has served as a conduit for sharing information and best practices among the mastery-based schools is now down to a two-person staff, as department resources have shifted to more publicized efforts like a $23 million-dollar anti-bias training program for teachers. This may be a missed opportunity. While mastery-based learning isn’t explicitly linked to racial or economic equity, education experts say that any school willing to make the leap from traditional grades to a complex rubric of individualized student assessments most likely already has supports in place to tackle the difficult, messy work they say is necessary to ensure that children of every background can succeed.

“From the minute we opened we had a very diverse population and we needed to navigate that,” says Danielle Salzberg, principal of Frank McCourt High School, on the Upper West Side, which opened in 2010. “Kids come with different educational backgrounds … different socioeconomic backgrounds. We opened our doors fully aware that we were going to be meeting different kids’ needs in different kinds of ways.”

To meet those needs, Salzberg and her team turned to a mastery-based model.

“It’s the best way to provide feedback to students that allows them to understand themselves and be empowered as learners,” Salzberg says. “We focus a lot on student engagement. What are we doing to challenge their thinking and not just have them be compliant?”

The school is thriving. With 20 percent of its 400-plus students diagnosed with a learning disability and about half of its kids coming from families in economic need, McCourt nonetheless outperforms citywide averages on state-mandated Regents exams, graduation rates and postsecondary enrollment. Students describe the school as offering a much different experience than what they were used to.

“This school wasn’t my first choice, so I didn’t have big expectations,” says college-bound senior Kendra Castro. What Kendra found once she arrived was a deeper level of student-teacher interaction than at her previous schools. A typical class may begin with the instructor in “teacher mode,” going over the day’s agenda for a few minutes, but the rest of the time is spent engaging directly with students as they work, providing feedback and support.

“When kids struggle, teachers go to them,” she says. “Math especially can be hard for people. Here I’ve seen people struggle with it, but never for the whole semester.”

Support extends beyond teacher interventions. With a schoolwide emphasis on working in groups, students’ most-used academic resources are often their peers.

“In middle school we always did work as an individual,” says Rosalia Minyeti, an 11th-grader from the Bronx who found the adjustment challenging. “I didn’t like working in groups at first. But then, in classes where the work was more ambitious, I found that being in a group made it easier to understand things.”

Working in groups provides a benefit to students who have already mastered the material as well. “Teaching something to someone actually helps me learn it better,” says Kendra.

But implementing a mastery-based approach is difficult work, even in schools like McCourt and Maker Academy that have adopted it from the day they opened.

“Mastery-based learning is a complete paradigm shift for most teachers,” says Salzberg. “It means thinking about grading as a way to provide feedback, and not a random act that we do because the quarter is ending.”

student at Maker Academy tries his hand at sneaker design. (Amadou Diallo for The Hechinger Report)

City schools that have adopted mastery-based practices — from large, highly competitive schools like Staten Island Technical High School to small, narrowly focused programs like the Young Women’s Leadership School of the Bronx — have gotten some support from a small unit, the Mastery Collaborative, tucked away in the education department’s Office of Leadership. It was launched in 2015 out of a recognition that schools adopting mastery-based principles were often doing so in isolation.

“We started the program as a community of practitioners,” says program director and co-founder Joy Nolan. “Our model was, let’s share resources, let’s have these conversations about [mastery-based] practice.”

Today it serves as a conduit for 37 member schools to exchange expertise regularly. And Nolan says that inquiries about the program from potential members have increased every year. Schools in the collaborative are united not only by an embrace of mastery-based learning but also by the desire to serve a diverse student population. An analysis of Department of Education data by The Hechinger Report found that 29 of the 37 schools either meet the city’s current standard of a racially representative school or reflect (within five percentage points) their borough’s demographic makeup for at least two ethnic groups.

Nolan emphasizes that the schools in the collaborative came to mastery-based learning on their own. Her program does not mandate curricula or evaluate practices. It is, however, seen by the schools as a valuable resource.

“What the Mastery Collaborative has done for a lot of schools is to get educators out of their own buildings,” says Maker Academy principal Bauer. “Visiting other schools is the best professional development that exists. There’s no slide deck that is going to lead to seeing new things and being able to apply them to your school.”

In a system where segregation is the norm, one of the biggest challenges for schools that seek to embrace diversity is creating an environment in which students from all backgrounds can excel. In 2016 the Mastery Collaborative began hosting anti-bias workshops for teachers and staff, spurred by member schools’ ongoing interest in culturally responsive education practices. Credited in large part to the work of educator Gloria Ladson-Billings, culturally responsive education is, first and foremost, a recognition that the academic disparities seen along racial and socioeconomic lines come from systemic practices that minimize anything other than the dominant culture.

Zaretta Hammond, the author of the book “Culturally Responsive Teaching and the Brain,” describes a vicious cycle in which low-income students of color begin their education in under-resourced schools with less-experienced teachers, then fall behind academically so that even if they get opportunities to attend a high-performing school later, they arrive grade levels behind their more affluent peers. Culturally responsive teaching seeks to address the inequity, not by dumbing down the curriculum, Hammond says, but by igniting students’ intellectual curiosity through rigorous content reflecting real-world issues.

Teachers must understand, Ladson-Billings argues, that academic outcomes say more about the education system than the child. “If a kid isn’t reading,” she says, “it can’t be the kid that’s the problem, it has to be the method.”

Creating a culturally responsive school environment isn’t achieved by putting up posters of African-American heroes or celebrating Cinco de Mayo, say proponents. It requires teachers and administrators to examine the biases and assumptions they carry, how those affect their relationships with students and, in turn, the students’ ability to master a challenging curriculum.

“It’s really hard and deep work for the adults in the building,” says Natasha Capers, coordinator for the NYC Coalition for Educational Justice, a parent-led nonprofit advocating the adoption of a culturally responsive curriculum in city schools.

“How do we make sure our schools are warm and welcoming environments for students across race, ethnicity, sexual orientation and gender presentation?” she asks. “It’s in thinking about how we deliver content, why we’re talking about the subjects we’re talking about, how we connect instruction to students’ everyday lives.”

Mastery-based schools, with their emphasis on feedback and revision, seem to be particularly well-suited to this challenge.

“Traditionally, when you’re talking about serving large numbers of children of color in particular, they don’t get feedback,” says Hammond. “What they get is ‘You got it wrong.’ Mastery-based learning works by creating feedback that is timely and corrective.”

Maker Academy’s assistant principal, Liz Dowdell, puts an emphasis on academic rigor. “If we’re really putting an appropriate challenge in front of kids, they are going to fail at first,” she says. “Our job is to … support them to revise and make it better.”

McCourt principal Salzberg stresses that this approach is relevant for all kids, whether their challenges are tied to racial or gender identity, economic status or parental expectations of high achievement: “Part of what we’re doing in CRE is finding the ways in which the kids are engaging or not engaging in the curriculum, and every kid is presenting us with some information about what’s getting in their way. We want to break through that to make sure every kid feels like they’re being met where they need to be met.”

Culturally responsive education is still a largely unstudied model. “You’ll see a lot of instances of cultural responsiveness in a particular classroom but not systemwide,” says Leah Peoples, a researcher at New York University’s Metropolitan Center for Research on Equity and the Transformation of Schools who is studying it. “With the Mastery Collaborative we’re talking about places that are implementing this across entire schools.”

Inside the city’s education department, however, reaction to these schools’ achievements is notably muted. Despite the city’s announced mandatory anti-bias training for all teachers and school administrators, the deputy chief of staff to the chancellor, David Hay, doesn’t view mastery-based learning as the only or even the preferred method for implementing culturally responsive practices. “You can have CRE in any kind of school, no matter what their guiding philosophy is, if people are willing to do the work,” he says.

He doesn’t see great potential for significant numbers of schools across the city emulating the work of schools in the Mastery Collaborative. “[Mastery] is something these schools have chosen to participate in,” he says, noting that such a dramatic move from traditional grading and evaluation may not be a good fit in other school communities.

Once a five-person operation, the Mastery Collaborative program was down to one full-time employee until a few weeks ago when a second was added, and the number of member schools declined from 43 to 37 in the past year. Asked about future program resources, Hay said, “We’re very happy with where the program is right now … [it] has got some great things going for it but there are other models that do, as well.”

Schools in the Mastery Collaborative have long been doing the heavy lifting required to achieve what the mayor and chancellor’s initiatives seek to promote: equity in both admissions and academic achievement. Without additional support, the question is whether an approach with a promising record of success can spread to schools with like-minded leadership, or whether the opportunity to attend diverse, high-performing schools will remain limited to a handful of the city’s children.

This story about culturally responsive education was produced by The Hechinger Report, a nonprofit, independent news organization focused on inequality and innovation in education. Sign up for the Hechinger newsletter.

How Mastery-Based Learning Can Help Students of Every Background Succeed published first on https://dlbusinessnow.tumblr.com/

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perfectzablog · 5 years