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sepublic · 3 years

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Why did Odalia allow Emira and Edric in Illusions?

I’ve seen people wonder how Emira and Edric are in Illusions if they seem to be looked down upon, especially with a parent like Odalia expecting the best of her kids! To dabble into some potential explanations;

For starters, illusions might not be looked down upon to begin with? Bria, Angmar, and Gavin give me major jock vibes, what with the physicality of their magic, bullying the smaller Gus and Mattholomule, and seeing the Galdorstones as a litmus test for ‘real’ magic.

Given their immature tendencies, it’s possible that they’ve made an easy and shallow mistake of reducing the value of magic down to its physical strength, instead of the wider applications- Which fits young and overconfident kids from Glandus, which evidently had some toxic ideas.

This could be a shallow Glandus perception that doesn’t grasp the full extent and potential of magic beyond just physically smashing and fighting in a straightforward manner, which might just add to the school’s rivalry with Hexside; But I digress...

The thing about Odalia is that she’s definitely underhanded and a cheater herself- So it makes sense of her to approve of ‘lesser’ tactics anyway, because she might see herself as Lilith, having to use whatever it takes to win. Doesn’t matter if it’s honest or has integrity, Odalia never cared about that... So she wouldn’t be approaching Illusions with the sort of dismissive bias of jocks.

After all, Oracle magic doesn’t seem to be entirely physical- It is to an extent, hence why Selene is able to fight Willow for at least a few seconds... But otherwise, Oracle magic seems to focused on more intangible things. It’d be hypocritical of Odalia to embrace Oracle magic but then judge Illusions, but then again she’s no stranger to hypocrisy either.

Maybe she’s tried to vicariously place her kids in ‘real’ magic tracks and only succeeded in Amity... But again, Illusions might not actually be looked down upon, at least on a societal level. There might be some bias amongst covens who think their magic is superior to that of another, but Belos designated Illusions as one of his nine major covens for a reason- And he is definitely a ruthless pragmatist with a utilitarian view of magic.

After all, Boscha mocks Willow’s choice of Plants despite her friend Amelia being there, and Angmar is played off as supposedly better than Gus for it! Granted Plants might be considered lame, while Illusions are even lamer... Bria and her friends evidently weren’t so popular themselves at first;

But regardless, it seems that it could just be a case of kids being hypocritically biased and insulting someone’s choice of magic if it isn’t the same as their own, especially since Potions could easily be seen as weaker than Plants! But maybe it’s just a matter of class, with Potions evidently being an industry that rakes in a lot of snails, so who knows?

Boscha probably doesn’t have a place to speak, and amongst narrow-minded kids, some assumptions might take place, but once you’re an adult... You cool down and can see the importance of these things. And as a seasoned and successful entrepreneur, Odalia is someone always looking for an opportunity to use someone or something;

As an adult with actual real-world experience, Odalia is able to recognize the value of illusions... And, as a gaslighter and manipulator herself, who uses Oracle magic to literally get into people’s heads, and she’d definitely appreciate the mind games and trickery of illusions.

If anything, Odalia might see physical magic as more demeaning and to be offloaded to the lesser workers, to people whose hands are meant to be dirty (with Alador as an exception), while a prim and proper, higher-class person such as herself needn’t bother with labor-associated magic! If there is some bias towards some forms of magic as lofty and for prissy blue bloods, Odalia might just be an example of that.

Plus, illusions could help her business! Amity is clearly set up as the next Alador, as the mindless worker who puts together and innovates with Abominations... With the twins welcoming people into the expo, while Amity physically participates, and it’s likely that Emira and Edric are set up to be the social factor of the business!

They’re meant to be like Odalia, as the managers who organize people, who broker deals and appeal to customers! And illusions would be perfect for presentations, Illusionists have a knack for showmanship as Gus said.

Illusions could be used to cover up the flaws of Blight Industries’ products while embellishing them. It’s implied that Alador’s creations aren’t always as good as they claim to be... Possibly as a result of cutting costs, because this guy CAN make some effective products, but unless Odalia wants him to compensate with an Abomaton 2.0 after the first failed, she otherwise prefers quantity over quality.

So yeah, a deal broker and social butterfly who attends these kinds of gatherings, makes business alliances and appeals to people- Odalia would definitely approve of illusions, even beyond her own treatment of her kids! For all we know she insisted upon it from the get-go, and luckily for Emira and Edric, illusions worked out for them as their personal calling.

Who knows, maybe Odalia wanted to be in another magic track, only for her actual talents to speak for themselves- She proved best at Oracle magic and was placed in it anyway, despite her attempts for other tracks she wasn’t as naturally talented in. It could be a similar case for the twins, who already like to rebel- And Bump could’ve made a case for them to be in Illusions too! Though we know Odalia can threaten Bump to get her way...

But in the end it doesn’t matter, because I think it’s fully in Odalia’s character to appreciate a more subtle approach, especially if she likes to manipulate and use underhanded tactics to compensate for a lack of ‘genuine’ power. If she has the same biases against non-physical magic, she could be just like Lilith, accepting her need to use lowly means to keep up with more honest witches anyway.

And given how Belos’s system makes people compete, it’s possible that EVERY coven thinks the others are weaker in some capacity- Every coven thinks one of the other eight is weak and ‘worthless’, because of bias and arrogance. A bard might dismiss a construction worker as a menial labor brute, while a beast keeper might mock a potion-maker for relying on bottles and elixirs, instead of controlling powerful demons!

This type of elitism ingrained into society, resulting in bullies and competition, possibly some people trying to make peace with covens they didn’t truly want to join through and inflated sense of superiority... These seem in-character for the coven system, and how bullies like Boscha exist, while people like Kikimora and even Lilith feel the need to betray, backstab, and cheat to win.

It’s all a toxic system... And at the very least, to get back to the original point- I think it makes sense for Odalia to approve of illusions, or at least tolerate them enough to live with it, especially when you already have rebellious twins who are willing to stand up to their parents and can’t be threatened to stand down the way Amity initially was.

Emira and Edric might’ve chosen it for themselves, and it was something Odalia knew they’d insist upon to Bump, no matter how hard she tried- So it was out of her control, and Alador might’ve convinced Odalia to let them be. He recognizes the value of letting his kids be independent, because it adds to their strength and ‘usefulness’.

As a long-term thinker not blinded in the moment by personal pride and need for control like Odalia, Al very well could’ve explained to her how illusions can work; Again, what I said about presentations and advertisement. Alador could’ve spoken to Odalia and gotten her to calm down, reasoning why illusions could be better in the long run, because they need another Odalia to run the company after her.

As for who will work Abominations, it only takes one witch as Alador himself as proven, and they’ve got another daughter who is much more under their thumb and easy to control. Let Amity take that burden, they can make her do whatever they want, unlike the twins... And again, that pressure to make up for the roles the twins had forsaken, and live up to her father’s genius, would just add to Amity’s need to be perfect.

Granted, Alador and Odalia expected Amity to join the Emperor’s Coven until only recently, which doesn’t seem like a position she could reconcile while working with Blight Industries. But maybe Alador intended to keep working, and use Amity as a means to secure an alliance with the Emperor’s Coven that has Blight Industries set, no longer needing to innovate, just replicate his work... In which case, be careful what you wish for!

Plus, if it’s Alador who suggested the use of the twins in illusions, maybe it was always more his idea to have his kids split between different roles to continue the company on their own, while Odalia had looked to the more ambitious option of a deal with the Emperor’s Coven, military-industrial complex style, to secure their futures.

#the owl house #the owl house edric #edric blight #the owl house emira #emira blight #the owl house odalia #odalia blight #the owl house alador #alador blight #speculation

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sevendeadlymorons · 3 years

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Hey I’m that one anon from a while back that sent those long ass paragraphs about Lilith and Simeon, remember me? Anyway I know I’m very late to the party, but some of the boys are either getting to much hate or too much love over here (in my opinion) so I made a pros and cons list for all of them, I’m sorry- (I’m warning you now this will be long but I’ll put it in bullet points so it’s a bit easier to read, just read it whenever your mentally ready lol)

Lucifer (I hate this man.)

Pros

He’d help a lot with getting your life together wether that be finding a job, choosing the right college or other shit like that

He’d make sure your working hard and getting everything done, which is both a blessing and a curse tbh

He would be the one to take the most care of you whenever your ill psychically

Cons

He would probably overwork you

Doesnt have much time to spend on you and doesn’t make a effort to find more time unless your getting really sad about it

Probably wouldn’t be the best of help through issues with mental illness (he just doesn’t strike me as that type, feel free to disagree)

His pride would cause some serious problems in relationships :/

Mammon (I love this man.)

Pros

He’s the “if your sad, I’m sad” kind of guy so he does whatever he can to put a smile on your face

Makes his affection towards you known once he’s comfortable enough, mostly through things like hugs and head pats tho

He shows off anything you make, and I mean anything (you gave him a drawing? After showing it to everyone he puts it on the fridge. You wrote something? He reads it to everyone then puts it in his notebook to reread later, I think you get where I’m going with this)

Cons

There would probably be some communication issues due to his tsundere nature and habit of ignoring you when he’s mad

He’d get super mad at you when your trying to help him financially, maybe it’s a ego thing or maybe he’s just tired of hearing it

While his possessiveness is cute at times he’d definitely get way to overbearing if you don’t force him to cool it

Levi (I kin this man.)

Pros

He’d try to set up designated hangout times (like Friday is movie night, Tuesday is for RPGs etc)

Wanna spend time with him but aren’t very into what he’s into? While it will be harder to bond with him because of this I think if you REALLY wanted to hang with him he’d at least try to meet you in the middle (like if you like sports he’ll offer to play wii sports lol)

Insecurities getting you down again? Well never fear, levi is here! He’d find characters with flaws similar to those you see in yourself to prove that they don’t really matter (and since he struggles with insecurity himself he’d know how you feel and be one of the best at helping you through them)

Cons

Even if he makes an effort to meet you in the middle if you have different interests he’d refuse to get into “normie” stuff

He’ll guilt trip you constantly, even if it’s not on purpose (“Oh your hanging out with Asmo today? I get it, of course you’d wanna hang out with somebody cool and perfect like Asmo and not a gross yucky otaku like me”)

You have to initiate almost everything Hugs? You hug first. Handholding? You reach out to him. Confessions? You seriously thought he’d be the one to confess first??

Satan

Pros

Similar to Lucifer he’d be good at helping you get your life together and putting you on the right track

Unlike Lucifer, he’d actively make time for date nights and/or hangouts multiple times a week wether your going out for dinner or reading in front of the fireplace

While he himself might not be best at helping with comfort in the moment, he’d be great to turn to if you needed a long time treatment (you need a therapist? He’s got the best three in your area that you can afford and he found some helpful things you can do in this book)

Cons

As stated previously, he’s not the best with comfort, which can be an issue if you need a friend/partner who can be your biggest source of comfort (I’m not saying he’ll do nothing, it’ll just be kinda awkward ig)

If you vent to him about something he’ll always offer advice and while that can be good, sometimes all you want is someone to listen to you and getting advice can be annoying in the moment

I feel like hanging out with him you’d rarely ever get to talk about pointless things, everything would be serious you know? And while serious and deep conversations are good for bonding, some people (myself included) need to be able to talk about dumb things without having it turn philosophical

Asmo

Pros

He’s the best at boosting your confidence, there’s no competition

He’s more into spontaneous outings (he suddenly got the urge to go shopping, your coming with right?)

You can talk about just about anything with him, no judgment and he’ll never speak a word of it to anyone else if you don’t want him to (although he may brag to his brothers that you told him your secrets)

High emotional IQ

Cons

He has set things of things he’s interested in and his idea of trying the things your into is doing whatever it is for about 5 seconds then deciding it’s not for him

He cares a lot about looks, I don’t mean he’ll hate you or insult you cause he thinks your ugly, I mean he’ll constantly try to do your makeup, hair, and nails and he’ll always say things like “Your hair is a bit messy today, did you brush it? Yes? Well not good enough, let me do it” and “your wearing that out? There’s nothing wrong with it, I just think you’d look a lot cuter in this” and if your anything like me, that’ll get on your nerves a lot

While he’s great with emotional issues, if it’s a problem with anything like school or your job he’ll have no solution to offer, all you’ll get is a “You can do it!” and a good luck kiss

Narcissistic, need I say more?

Beel

Pros

He’s the best person to vent to, no judgment and tons of hugs and comfort food

He’s a mom friend, no explanation needed

Very supportive and always concerned for your health

Your in trouble? Call beel, he’ll help you and make sure your home safe before questioning you and will only lecture you out of love (unlike a certain older brother that will lecture you because “Your tarnishing Diavlo’s reputation by acting out like this. Your an exchange student, you must abide by the rules and behave yourself.”)

Cons

Food is his answer to everything (Sad?Food. Injured? Food. School’s stressful? Food plus a little help studying) and while food can be good for comfort, sometimes you need him to provide more than a snack

He’s the opposite of Satan in the sense that he’ll almost never offer advice when you rant to him, he just assumes getting it all out is help enough and won’t offer much more then a hug and food

Not getting along with one of his brothers? “They can be a handful, but they’re great people once you learn to handle the chaos” yeah he rarely thinks what his brothers did is a big deal so he gives you advice on how to apologize and get past it and he’ll give you food

Belphie (he really does attract the mentally ill people huh-)

Cons

I feel like he’d be good for certain people with social anxiety and people who have issues with always being scared about being a bad person (“you think your a bad person and are becoming more and more toxic by the day? Well your a better person than Lucifer that’s for sure, wether or not your toxic were going to cuddle now get in bed” or “your worried everyone is constantly staring and judging you for everything you do? Well I don’t really care about what your wearing or the way you walk so I doubt they do either, can we go home now?” ((Side note, I experience both of these issues and his uncaring personality would calm me, which is why I think this one of his pros))

He just wouldn’t care about whatever type of life style you lead and as someone who’s constantly scared of being judged for their lifestyle this would be amazing (“you sleep all the time? Same let’s nap together” “You don’t eat very healthy? Whatever, it’s fine, can we sleep now?” ((although it is a double edged sword))

He gets a burst of energy and just does the most random things (you see that tree? He’s already climbed half way up it. That petting zoo? He’s already feeding the lambs. That store? He’s already spent 30 grim)

Cons

Just like his twin he thinks every problem has one solution, but instead of food he thinks the solution is sleep (your sick? Sleep is the best medicine. A lot of homework? If you sleep you don’t have to think about it.)

At some point he just doesn’t care enough, if you come to him with a serious issue he’ll half listen to you rant then pull you down to sleep

He teases you a lot, which is fine teasing is fun, but he takes it too far. Maybe he touched on something your insecure about or he was too merciless, whatever it was, he won’t apologize for it, he just thinks your being sensitive. If he brought up some bad memories he’ll consider it, but his way of apologizing is cuddling

He doesn’t wanna do something? You guys aren’t gonna do it. You don’t wanna do something? Too bad, he wants to so your gonna.

I’m sorry this is so long- I tried to shorten it I swear- but anyway if you disagree I’m with anything, I wanna hear what you think

And even tho Beel doesn’t get much screen time and more serious moments, I think his character is way more then hunger

Random but I wanna add that other then Levi I kin Tamaki from mha and Ranpo from bsd

Dude do you just like torturing poor college students? This is so much to read, I’m about to cry 😭

I agree with the Lucifer part actually! Tho I do kinda thing he’s be good emotion support in some ways, for me, anyway. I feel like he may lack empathy that is needed in a stable relationship. Yes, he may be able to tell you with shit and honestly, he’d book my doctors appointments when I’m too anxious too so yknow. But yeah

Also agree with mammon. He’s a jackass when he wants to be, and I know he may not mean it, but his words are still hurtful in a lot of ways and he just can’t convey those emotions that’re needed in a loving relationship. But he’s so sweet and will show you off so it’s all good~

As much as I love Levi, I agree. He manipulates and guilt trips you throughout the entire game. It can’t be healthy in relationships but that don’t stop me from loving that sweet otaku boy 😔��

I agree with Satan too. I don’t have much to say but he’s avatar of wrath for a reason, for a start, and he honestly looks like he’d prefer talking about books than that funny thing that happened in class that made you laugh earlier

Agreed with Asmo too. Sometimes he may just get overbearing and the narcissism and the constant need to make you look better and improve you may get irritating

I agree with Beel. I don’t think he can comprehend that food isn’t an answer to everything and as a person who doesn’t cope with food and relatively hates it, he won’t be any help to me emotionally. He’s so sweet but he just won’t give you that proper support

I love Belphie so so much but I absolutely agree. He’s one of the most unbothered brothers who won’t care what you look like, yes, but that also means compliments may come rarely and like his twin, “sleep is the answer to everything” I can admit I like to sleep but I have a manic side that comes with insomnia and if he’s dragging me down and not letting me move and I just cannot sleep, I’m gonna get irritated and pissed off.

This got a bit long on my end too. I just really liked how you worded this and it was fun to see pros and cons of the ‘perfect’ brothers

I think Beel is more than food too, but I just don’t particularly like him either way cuz I’m not really a foodie so I can’t relate with him lmao

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ladydarklord · 3 years

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The Mighty Boosh on the business of being silly

The Times, November 15 2008

What began as a cult cocktail of daft poems, surreal characters and fantastical storylines has turned into the comedy juggernaut that is the Mighty Boosh. Janice Turner hangs out with creators Noel Fielding, Julian Barratt and the extended Boosh family to discuss the serious business of being silly

In the thin drizzle of a Monday night in Sheffield, a crowd of young women are waiting for the Mighty Boosh or, more precisely, one half of it. Big-boned Yorkshire lasses, jacketless and unshivering despite the autumn nip, they look ready to devour the object of their desire, the fey, androgynous Noel Fielding, if he puts a lamé boot outside the stage door. “Ooh, I do love a man in eyeliner,” sighs Natalie from Rotherham. She’ll be throwing sickies at work to see the Boosh show 13 times on their tour, plus attend the Boosh after-show parties and Boosh book signings. “My life is dead dull without them,” she says.

Nearby, mobiles primed, a pair of sixth-formers trade favourite Boosh lines. “What is your name?” asks Jessica. “I go by many names, sir,” Victoria replies portentously. A prison warden called Davena survives long days with high-security villains intoning, “It’s an outrage!” in the gravelly voice of Boosh character Tony Harrison, a being whose head is a testicle.

Apart from Fielding, what they all love most about the Boosh is that half their mates don’t get it. They see a bloke in a gorilla suit, a shaman called Naboo, silly rhymes about soup, stories involving shipwrecked men seducing coconuts “and they’re like, ‘This is bloody rubbish,’” says Jessica. “So you feel special because you do get it. You’re part of a club.”

Except the Mighty Boosh club is now more like a movement. What began as an Edinburgh fringe show starring Fielding and his partner Julian Barratt and later became an obscure BBC3 series has grown into a box-set flogging, mega-merchandising, 80-date touring Boosh inc. There was a Boosh festival last summer, now talk of a Boosh movie and Boosh in America. An impasse seems to have been reached: either the Boosh will expand globally or, like other mass comedy cults before it – Vic and Bob, Newman and Baddiel – slowly begin to deflate.

But for the moment, the fans still wait in the rain for heroes who’ve already left the building. I find the Boosh gang gathered in their hotel bar, high on post-gig adrenalin. Barratt, blokishly handsome with his ring-master moustache, if a tad paunchy these days, blends in with the crew. But Fielding is never truly “off”. All day he has been channelling A Clockwork Orange in thick black eyeliner (now smudged into panda rings) and a bowler hat, which he wears with polka-dot leggings, gold boots and a long, neon-green fur-collared PVC trenchcoat. He has, as those women outside put it, “something about him”: a carefully-wrought rock-god danger mixed with an amiable sweetness. Sexy yet approachable. Which is why, perched on a barstool, is a great slab of security called Danny.

“He stops people getting in our faces,” says Fielding. “He does massive stars like P. Diddy and Madonna and he says that considering how we’re viewed in the media as a cult phenomenon, we get much more attention in the street than, say, Girls Aloud. Danny says we’re on the same level as Russell Brand, who can’t walk from the door to the car without ten people speaking to him.”

This barometer of fame appears to fascinate and thrill Fielding. Although he complains he can’t eat dinner with his girlfriend (Dee Plume from the band Robots in Disguise) unmolested, he parties hard and publicly with paparazzi-magnets like Courtney Love and Amy Winehouse. He claims he’s tried wearing a baseball cap but fans still recognise him. Hearing this, Julian Barratt smiles wryly: “Noel is never going to dress down.”

It is clear on meeting them that their Boosh characters Vince Noir (Fielding), the narcissistic extrovert, and Howard Moon (Barratt), the serious, socially awkward jazz obsessive, are comic exaggerations of their own personalities. At the afternoon photo shoot, Fielding breaks free of the hair and make-up lady, sprays most of a can of Elnett on to his Bolan feather-cut and teases it to his satisfaction. Very Vince. “It is an art-life crossover,” says Barratt.

At 40, five years older than Fielding, Barratt exhibits the profound weariness of a man trying to balance a five-month national tour with new-fatherhood. After every Saturday night show he returns home to his 18-month-old twins, Arthur and Walter, and his partner Julia Davis (the creator-star of Nighty Night) and today he was up at 5am pushing a pram on Hampstead Heath before taking the train north to rejoin the Boosh. “I go back so the boys remember who I am. But it’s harder to leave them every time,” he says. “It is totally schizophrenic, totally opposite mental states: all this self-obsession and then them.”

About two nights a week on tour, Fielding doesn’t go to bed, parties through the night and performs the next evening having not slept at all. Barratt often retreats to his room to plough through box sets of The Wire. “It’s a bit gritty, but that is in itself an escape, because what we do is so fantastical.”

But mostly it is hard to resist the instant party provided by a large cast, crew and band. Indeed, drinking with them, it appears Fielding and Barratt are but the most famous members of a close collective of artists, musicians and old mates. Fielding’s brother Michael, who previously worked in a bowling alley, plays Naboo the shaman. “He is late every single day,” complains Noel. “He’s mad and useless, but I’m quite protective of him, quite parental.” Michael is always arguing with Bollo the gorilla, aka Fielding’s best mate, Dave Brown, a graphic artist relieved to remove his costume – “It’s so hot in there I fear I may never father children” – to design the Boosh book. One of the lighting crew worked as male nanny to Barratt’s twins and was in Michael’s class at school: “The first time I met you,” he says to Noel, “you gave me a dead arm.” “You were 9,” Fielding replies. “And you were messing with my stuff.”

This gang aren’t hangers-on but the wellspring of the Boosh’s originality and its strange, homespun, degree-show aesthetic: a character called Mr Susan is made out of chamois leathers, the Hitcher has a giant Polo Mint for an eye. When they need a tour poster they ignore the promoter’s suggestions and call in their old mate, Nige.

Fielding and Barratt met ten years ago at a comedy night in a North London pub. The former had just left Croydon Art College, the latter had dropped out of an American Studies degree at Reading to try stand-up, although he was so terrified at his first gig that he ran off stage and had to be dragged back by the compere.

While superficially different, their childhoods have a common theme: both had artistic, bohemian parents who exercised benign neglect. Fielding’s folks were only 17 when he was born: “They were just kids really. Hippies. Though more into Black Sabbath and Led Zep. There were lots of parties and crazy times. They loved dressing up. And there was a big gap between me and my brother – about nine years – so I was an only child for a long time, hanging out with them, lots of weird stuff going on.

“The great thing about my mum and dad is they let me do anything I wanted as a kid as long as I wasn’t misbehaving. I could eat and go to bed when I liked. I used to spend a lot of time drawing and painting and reading. In my own world, I guess.”

Growing up in Mitcham, South London, his father was a postmaster, while his mother now works for the Home Office. Work was merely the means to fund a good time. “When your dad is into David Bowie, how do you rebel against that? You can’t really. They come to all the gigs. They’ve been in America for the past three weeks. I’m ringing my mum really excited because we’re hanging out with Jim Sheridan, who directed In the Name of the Father, and the Edge from U2, and she said, ‘We’re hanging with Jack White,’ whom they met through a friend of mine. Trumped again!”

Barratt’s father was a Leeds art teacher, his mother an artist later turned businesswoman. “Dad was a bit more strict and academic. Mum would let me do anything I wanted, didn’t mind whether I went to school.” Through his father he became obsessed with Monty Python, went to jazz and Spike Milligan gigs, learnt about sex from his dad’s leatherbound volumes of Penthouse.

Barratt joined bands and assumed he would become a musician (he does all the Boosh’s musical arrangements); Fielding hoped to become an artist (he designed the Boosh book cover and throughout our interview sketches obsessively). Instead they threw their talents into comedy. Barratt: “It is a great means of getting your ideas over instantly.” Fielding: “Yes, it is quite punk in that way.”

Their 1998 Edinburgh Fringe show called The Mighty Boosh was named, obscurely, after a friend’s description of Michael Fielding’s huge childhood Afro: “A mighty bush.” While their double-act banter has an old-fashioned dynamic, redolent of Morecambe and Wise, the show threw in weird characters and a fantasy storyline in which they played a pair of zookeepers. They are very serious about their influences. “Magritte, Rousseau...” says Fielding. “I like Rousseau’s made-up worlds: his jungle has all the things you’d want in a jungle, even though he’d never been in one so it was an imaginary place.”

Eclectic, weird and, crucially, unprepared to compromise their aesthetic sensibilities, it was 2004 before, championed by Steve Coogan’s Baby Cow production company, their first series aired on BBC3. Through repeats and DVD sales the second series, in which the pair have left the zoo and are living above Naboo’s shop, found a bigger audience. Last year the first episode of series three had one million viewers. But perhaps the Boosh’s true breakthrough into mainstream came in June when George Bush visited Belfast and a child presented him with a plant labelled “The Mighty Bush”. Assuming it was a tribute to his greatness, the president proudly displayed it for the cameras, while the rest of Britain tittered.

A Boosh audience these days is quite a mix. In Sheffield the front row is rammed with teenage indie girls, heavy on the eyeliner, who fancy Fielding. But there are children, too: my own sons can recite whole “crimps” (the Boosh’s silly, very English version of rap) word for word. And there are older, respectable types who, when I interview them, all apologise for having such boring jobs. They’re accountants, IT workers, human resources officers and civil servants. But probe deeper and you find ten years ago they excelled at art A level or played in a band, and now puzzle how their lives turned out so square. For them, the Boosh embody their former dreams. And their DIY comedy, shambolic air, the slightly crap costumes, the melding of fantasy with the everyday, feels like something they could still knock up at home.

Indeed, many fans come to gigs in costume. At the Mighty Boosh Festival 15,000 people came dressed up to watch bands and absurdity in a Kent field. And in Sheffield I meet a father-and-son combo dressed as Howard Moon and Bob Fossil – general manager of the zoo – plus a gang of thirty-something parents elaborately attired as Crack Fox, Spirit of Jazz, a granny called Nanageddon, and Amy Housemouse. “I love the Boosh because it’s total escapism,” says Laura Hargreaves, an employment manager dressed as an Electro Fairy. “It’s not all perfect and people these days worry too much that things aren’t perfect. It’s just pure fun.”

But how to retain that appealingly amateur art-school quality now that the Boosh is a mega comedy brand? Noel Fielding is adamant that they haven’t grown cynical, that The Mighty Book of Boosh was a long-term project, not a money-spinner chucked out for Christmas: “There is a lot of heart in what we do,” he says. Barratt adds: “It’s been hard this year to do everything we’ve wanted, to a standard we’re proud of... Which is why we’re worn to shreds.”

Comedy is most powerful in intimate spaces, but the Boosh show, with its huge set, requires major venues. “We’ve lost money every day on the tour,” says Fielding. “The crew and the props and what it costs to take them on the road – it’s ridiculous. Small gigs would lose millions of pounds.”

The live show is a kind of Mighty Boosh panto, with old favourites – Bob Fossil, Bollo, Tony Harrison, etc – coming on to cheers of recognition. But it lacks the escapism to the perfectly conceived world of the TV show. They have told the BBC they don’t want a fourth series: they want a movie. They would also, as with Little Britain USA, like a crack at the States, where they run on BBC America. Clearly the Boosh needs to keep evolving or it will die.

Already other artists are telling Fielding and Barratt to make their money now: “They say this is our time, which is quite frightening.” I recall Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer, who dominated the Nineties with Big Night Out and Shooting Stars. “Yes, they were massive,” says Fielding. “A number one record...” And now Reeves presents Brainiac. “If you have longer-term goals, it’s not scary,” says Barratt. “To me, I’m heading somewhere else – to direct, make films, write stuff – and at the moment it’s all gone mental. I’m sort of enjoying this as an outsider. It was Noel who had this desire to reach more people.”

Indeed, the old cliché that comedy is the new rock’n’roll is closest to being realised in Noel Fielding. Watching him perform the thrash metal numbers in the Boosh live show, he is half ironic comic performer, half frustrated rock god. His heroes weren’t comics but androgynous musicians: Jagger, Bowie, Syd Barrett. (Although he liked Peter Cook’s style and looks.)

“I like clothes and make-up, I like the transformation,” he says. Does it puzzle him that women find this so sexually attractive? “I was reading a book the other day about the New York Dolls and David Johansen was saying that none of them were gay or even bisexual, and that when they started dressing in stilettos and leather pants, women got it straight away with no explanation. But a lot of men had problems. It’s one of those strange things. A man will go, ‘You f***ing queer.’ And you just think, ‘Well, your girlfriend fancies me.’”

The Boosh stopped signing autographs outside stage doors when it started taking two hours a night. At recent book signings up to 1,500 people have shown up, some sleeping overnight in the queue. And on this tour, the Boosh took control of the after-show parties, once run as money-spinners by the promoters, and now show up in person to do DJ slots. I ask if they like to meet their fans, and they laugh nervously.

Fielding: “We have to be behind a fence.”

Barratt: “They try to rip your clothes off your body.”

Fielding: “The other day my girlfriend gave me this ring. And, doing the rock numbers at the end, I held out my hands and the crowd just ripped it off.”

Barratt: “I see it as a thing which is going to go away. A moment when people are really excited about you. And it can’t last.”

He recalls a man in York grabbing him for a photo, saying, “I’d love to be you, it must be so amazing.” And Barratt says he thought, “Yes, it is. But all the while I was trying to duck into this doorway to avoid the next person.” He’s trying to enjoy the Boosh’s moment, knows it will pass, but all the same?

In the hotel bar, a young woman fan has dodged past Danny and comes brazenly over to Fielding. Head cocked attentively like a glossy bird, he chats, signs various items, submits to photos, speaks to her mate on her phone. The rest of the Boosh crew eye her steelily. They know how it will end. “You have five minutes then you go,” hisses one. “I feel really stupid now,” says the girl. It is hard not to squirm at the awful obeisance of fandom. But still she milks the encounter, demands Fielding come outside to meet her friend. When he demurs she is outraged, and Danny intercedes. Fielding returns to his seat slightly unsettled. “What more does she want?” he mutters, reaching for his wine glass. “A skin sample?”

#I hadn't seen this one before so I thought I'd share #noel will never dress down #ah yes the patient boyfriend Julian Barratt

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thankyoutsfriends · 3 years

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FAQ | ThankYouTSFriends

Answers to frequently asked questions about our “ThankYouTSFriends” project! (If you’re unfamiliar with the project, check it out here)

Q: If I want to participate, what should I post? A: This is entirely up to you! You can join in by posting messages, drawings, photo edits, video edits, poetry, cosplay—whatever you'd like to create to show love and support to Thomas' friends! Please do keep in mind though that if you're planning on participating every day, that's 44 posts you'll be creating. That's a pretty big number. We don't want anyone to burn out or get too overwhelmed, so remember that you don't have to do anything huge if you don't want to. Feel free to keep them simple if that works best for you. A little goes a long way!

Q: Where is this happening? A: This project is happening on Instagram, Twitter, and Tumblr. You can find it at @thankyoutsfriends on Instagram, @ThanksTSFriends on Twitter, and @thankyoutsfriends on Tumblr.

Q: What are the hashtags for? A: We’ve created a hashtag for each friend so they can easily look through all the posts that are dedicated to them at their own convenience. Some of Thomas’ friends don’t have social media so this system allows all the posts for each person to be in one place and easy for them to find across all platforms!

Q: What is happening during weekends? A: Every Saturday and Sunday of September is a rest day. You can use these days to take a break, catch up on previous days that you may have missed, or get an early start on your posts for the week ahead. It's up to you! You can also use these days to send love to any of Thomas' friends who we weren't able to fit into the lineup if you'd like!

Q: I only want to participate during some days, is that okay? A: Yes! You are welcome to participate in as little or as many days as you would like! (And if you miss a day that you would have liked to have participated in, please feel free to post it late! Just use the hashtag for the friend that your post is addressed to.)

Q: Can I just make one post that's dedicated to all of Thomas' friends instead of several individual posts? A: Yes! Any way you'd like to show love, appreciation, or support to Thomas' friends during September is totally welcome! You can make individual posts for each person on the lineup, you can make a few posts that are each dedicated to several people on the lineup, you can make one big post that's dedicated to everyone on the lineup, whatever works best for you! (Just make sure you use the designated hashtag for anyone your post is dedicated to so they can easily find it. You can also use the hashtag #ThankYouTSFriends if you don't have enough space to tag everyone individually!)

Q: Can I tag Thomas’ friends in my posts directly? A: We’re leaving this up to you! We aren’t sure if everyone would appreciate their notifications blowing up, which is why we have decided not to include any of their links in our original post. If you do want to tag any of Thomas’ friends in your posts, you can usually find their social media links credited in the descriptions of Thomas’ videos that they’re featured in. Either way, the hashtags will still allow Thomas’ friends to easily find all the posts about them. Whether or not you want to tag them is up to you!

Q: How is this different from last year's ThankYouTSFriends? A: You might remember this project from 2020, but there are a few changes this time around! Everyone from last year's lineup is included again this year, but the order of the schedule is completely different, plus there are some newcomers! The biggest difference is that we'll be celebrating TWO friends instead of one each day! Also, weekends aren't included in the schedule this time. It's also worth noting that the hashtags are slightly different from last year's, so make sure you use the correct ones when tagging your posts.

Q: Who is running this project? A: Oh, hi! We’re Ali and Macy! We’re two 24-year-old twins who are big supporters of Thomas and his friends and who just like to make people happy. You can find us at @Ali_and_Macy on Twitter and Instagram and @ali-and-macy on Tumblr.

If you have any further questions, our inbox and our asks are open! Don’t be shy! (If you don’t have a tumblr, you can message us on twitter or on instagram!)

#ThankYouTSFriends #FAQ #frequently asked questions

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glowyjellyfish · 3 years

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A Medieval Megakingdom update covering the last few days:

I remodeled Gabriel Green’s house, build hovels for Tara Kat and Chastity Gere, finally got Jessica Peterson moved into the church, and started giving Desiderata Valley sims their medieval makeovers. ...then I tried to use a downloaded tavern for the Baldwin’s Hedge Tavern and the game crashed. Sigh. I really don’t want to feel obligated to build every single lot I need personally, but downloaded lots tend to be a. not designed for the MCC, b. many years old, and c. come with loads of CC that just load blue and broken for me, somehow. i use the clean installer, I am in the process of downloading Literally Everything medieval for the Sims 2 that I can find, these are popular lots, and still... broken. I’m trying to reinstall the CEP to see if that helps with some of these; others I will have to hunt down or else just... forget about, and I don’t wanna.

Oh boy, I don’t usually put these behind a click so far, but... that’s a lot of photos.

Anyway, here’s Gabriel Green’s house! It’s kinda too fancy for him; he’s a yeoman. But I also couldn’t decide what kind of job he should have and am debating giving him a proper home business to take up most of this space; right now he’s vaguely set up as a carpenter.

...he wants to be a Royal Physician, but that’s not happening given his social class and his lack of college education. I am considering giving him the “healing herbal tea shop” I was planning to give the Cordial sisters, operating it out of his house in one of the big empty rooms, and then letting him join the medical career if he lives to see the subhood hit the appropriate level.

On to Tara Kat’s house! One sim who will probably not try to keep her last name when she marries. Also, I did not realize that the MCC does not outline making peasants into farmers, possibly because it outdates Sun & Moon’s Star Factory...? but whatever, it’s fine. I might one day try to make her have an Arrangement with the local grocer, we’ll see.

ugh, I completely re-downloaded the medieval wood sets and it’s still giving me blue. that’s why I am experimenting with reinstalling the CEP.

Not sure how well it shows up, but she’s got 5 each of about 10-20 different kinds of crops, plus a single industrial grain plot so she can work on providing animal feed. I... am not sure a single sim can actually handle this; she will be looking for a husband very quickly no doubt.

And Chastity Gere’s hovel:

She’s a woodcutter. I figured given her normal outfit, she should be a little tough and a little less gender-conforming than average. I bought her a lot of trees for her lot partially because Belladonna Cove’s nature lots aren’t going to have many choppable trees on them; BDC is more of a Meadows town.

Finally, the made-over sims of the day:

Jessica Peterson; having left her Noble husband, she’s lost all status and was forced to go to the church. She can either stay, leave to get married and join her new husband’s social class, or leave on her own and be an outcast. We’ll see someday!

Robert Kim. Like Tara Kat, I always forget this family exists! But they’re perfect for a hood where I needed to add more families at various locations and social classes. Given their house, they probably shouldn’t be peasants, but who cares? It’s getting bulldozed!

Justin Kim.

And Cynthia Kim! Boy, that is very much Not a medieval name.

John Mole. I think I’m gonna make him be a hunter.

Edward Contrary.

Opal Contrary.

and Rick Contrary. I haven’t decided what their family labor business is going to be yet, but they are peasants in the highly wooded Desiderata Valley, so...

Anyway, here’s the last one, and much most exciting. Presenting my best efforts to make a medieval version of the Ottomas family presentable!

Dora Ottomas. Her face is just generally bad. I did my best.

Peter Ottomas, looking surprisingly nice with his hair lengthened and his pornstache turned into a respectable medieval... goatee...?

Samantha Ottomas, and geez why didn’t I work around that plumbob better? She looks fine, I think. There is something weird about her eyes, with misshapen circles underneath that screw with all makeup attempts, but she’s fine, she’s presentable.

David Ottomas. As you may know, he suffers from both a weird nose, and the eye shape inherited from his mother, plus a little jutting lip. But some shaggy hair helped quite a bit.

Sharla is a mess that’s barely holding it together for this picture. She’s got the eye shapes, the weird nose, and a severe jutting lip that cast a shadow on her upper lip, and no makeup I had could fix it. She looks perfectly fine here, but in motion it’s not pretty. Not to mention that I picked out this nice hair, and then when she started moving it became apparent that the hair was not affixed to her scalp correctly, causing floating hair and bald spots. I’ll give her a different hair when it comes time to play. I am impressed how nice and pleasant she managed to look for the picture, given all her myriad health issues.

And Tommy Ottomas. He’s okay, I think his big problems are usually limited to the weird eye shapes. It’s usually the twins that, in my games, have historically had extremely odd and awkward faces. We’ll see whether they are cursed this time. The Ottomas family is going to own Desiderata Valley’s local hedge tavern, assuming I manage to add one. I really don’t wanna build the same type of community lot eight times, one for each subhood.

#the sims 2 #ts2 #sims 2 medieval #the Megakingdom of Simland #simblr

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purplesurveys · 3 years

Text

1274

Department One: Apparel And Jewelry

What are you wearing today? Just a white duster dress. Very loungewear-y, hahaha. I didn’t feel like wearing shorts today.

What does your favorite shirt look like? At the moment I’m obsessed with my Vante shirt. It’s fanmade but it was made tastefully; the designs aren’t too loud and I love the cute little shoutouts and tributes to his past paintings, so it had been a ridiculously easy decision for me to want to buy it.

What kind of underwear do you prefer wearing? Eh I don’t really have a preference as long as I don’t find them uncomfy.

What are your favorite kind of jeans? I’m definitely still stuck in my mom jeans phase. Idk man, I just love how they match nearly all kinds of tops.

What do the last pair of shoes you wore look like? They were adidas sneakers. Not a big fan of chunky shoes but it’s an Ivy Park and it was on a big discount HAHAHA so I didn’t hesitate to get them.

How many shoes do you own? A little more than 10. I love shoes and wanna collect them someday...just not today, hahaha.

How much jewelry do you own? Not too big on jewelry; most, if not all the ones I wear are just borrowed from my mom since we share the same style anyway.

Do you own any real diamonds or other expensive jewelry? Yeah, the ones I would borrow from my mom are pretty pricey.

Has anyone ever gave you jewelry as a present? Yes, I received rings and necklaces from my ex. One of my aunts also gave me a necklace when I turned 7.

Do you like diamonds or gemstones better? I just stick with diamonds...which is...also a gemstone too, if I’m not mistaken.

Silver or gold? Silver.

Department Two: Electronics

Do you have a DVD player in your car? Not in mine, but we do have one in the family car. I used to watch movies on there often but after one grueling road trip where my motion sickness acted up, I haven’t wanted to use it since.

If you have one, what does your camera/camcorder look like? I just use the camera in my phone but back in the day I used to have a DSLR; that was when I thought I wanted to take up photography, heh. It was a Nikon D3100.

How much did it cost? I’m not sure since my dad gave it to me as a present, but a quick search told me it would’ve cost him around P20,000 which issssss wow more expensive than I thought.

What kind of cellphone do you have? I have an iPhone 8 with an LCD screen that’s deteriorating by the day HAHA. I really need to get a new phone.

How often do you send texts? I text just for work purposes now, so it really depends on how busy my accounts are. Some days would require me to send out more texts than usual.

Do you have your own computer or does your family share? I have my own laptop. My workplace also provided me with what’s supposed to be my work laptop, but they had it sent to me when I was already a couple of months into my job and all my needed files and programs were already in my personal laptop. Since I was too lazy to start everything all over again, I’ve never actually used the work laptop haha.

How many computers are in your house? We have three laptops in total - my siblings and I each have our own. Kind of a necessity these days.

Do you still have a VCR? I don’t think so.

How many DVDs do you own? We probably have around 30-50 but most of them are movies from like the 2000s that we just haven’t thrown out. Personally, I have about five DVDs of old films like Gone with the Wind, Rebel Without A Cause, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, etc, and recently I’ve been buying BTS merch so DVDs are part of that mix too.

Does your car have a GPS? No. I use Waze on my phone instead.

What kind of iPod/MP3 player do you have? Haven’t used an iPod in like a literal decade. I use Spotify for my music.

How many songs are on it? Spotify doesn’t work that way since it’s technically a database of songs.

What size is your TV? Never bothered to ask/check.

How many TVs are in your house? Four. Living room, dining room, master bedroom, my brother’s room.

What video game systems do you have? We have a PS3 and PS4.

What about handhelds? Switch. I believe my sister also still has her DSi stored somewhere.

How many video games do you have? Probably somewhere around 50-60. My dad and brother are content with repeating their games lol.

Department Three: Home

What kind of shampoo do you use? It’s a Dove variant but I’m just blanking out on the specific name/what it does.

Soap or shower gel? Shower gel.

What does your comforter look like? It’s pretty colorful and has geometric shapes and lines.

Does it match your pillows? Yep, they come in a set.

What size is your bed? Twin.

Do you or your parents like to decorate the house with various things or is it plain? My mom puts considerable effort in decorating the house but it’s nothing overboard that it feels tacky. There’s enough decor in enough spaces.

Does the furniture in your house match? Sure. I imagine my mom would be very irritated if she felt something was uncoordinated at home.

What does your couch look like? It’s a gray L-shaped couch. Gabie broke a portion of the couch’s springs when it had only spent its like first two weeks at home but surprisingly my mom has not noticed it yet; probably because she barely sits on that side.

How many does your dining room/kitchen table seat? It has six chairs, though since we’re five one of the chairs is almost always unoccupied.

Do you have any fancy china? No, my mom isn’t the type to collect those.

Do you have outside furniture? Yeah we have a table and chairs up on the rooftop, if they count.

What do your curtains look like? My siblings and I have pull-down blinds. The other rooms have these pulled-back gold curtains that’s accompanied by white sheers.

Department Four: Grocery

What kind of bread do you get? Sliced white bread, always. Sometimes my mom will pick up pan de sal, but she gets those from a certain bakery and no longer the grocery.

What is your favorite kind of cake? CHEEEEEEEEEESECAAAAAAAKE.

Do you get a lot of sweets from the grocery store? Eh, nah. Not a big fan of sweets.

What kind of soda is your favorite? Don’t like soda.

Do you drink juice? What kind? I can take it or leave it. I wouldn’t buy it for myself.

What is your favorite chewing gum? Doesn’t matter to me. The flavors last for only like a minute anyway.

Do you usually get candy from the check-out aisle? Nah. Those are far more accessible so who knows who could’ve touched or tampered with them. Plus, I mentioned I don’t like sweets.

What is your favorite soup? Miso or cream of mushroom.

Have you ever had soup when you were sick? No. I don’t enjoy hot beverages/liquids very much so I doubt I would feel comfort from soup when I’m sick.

What are your favorite canned vegetables? Not sure if it’s a cultural difference thing but canned vegetables kind of sound gross and I don’t think I’ve encountered those (I actually had to look it up lol). My parents always buy fruits and veggies as is.

What do you eat for breakfast? Fried rice is a constant but my mom switches up the set of viands every time. Some of the meals she serves would be hotdogs, eggs (either scrambled, omelette, fried, or sunny-side up), corned beef, dried fish, hashbrowns, luncheon meat, tapa, and Vienna sausages. Poptarts or toaster strudels? Poptarts. I’ve never had toaster strudel and I’m honestly not sure what that is.

What salad dressing do you prefer? Spicy mayo.

Ketchup, mayonnaise, or mustard? MAYONNAISE. I can live without the other two.

What kind of cookie do you like best? I only ever eat chocolate chip.

What kind of snacks do you get at the grocery store? Salted egg chips or Pringles. Not a big fan of snacks either. This survey is making me realize I’m way more into full meals than anything else.

Do you get the meat from the deli? Er, we don’t have delis here. Too fancy a concept lmao. If we have them, they are most likely in those extremely upscale, boujee neighborhoods.

What is your favorite frozen dinner? I mean my dad buys frozen meat, fish, etc, but the frozen dinner sets that I see in American culture, which I’m guessing is what’s being referred to in this question, are not common here.

Do you prefer frozen dinners to actual cooking? I honestly can’t imagine how it’s filling, but then again I’ve never tried it. Personally, food made from scratch is still the best.

What is your favorite kind of pasta? Fettuccine.

Do you eat meat? And if not, do you eat vegetarian meat? Yes, I eat meat. I get vegan options if they’re accessible and affordable, but those choices are hard to come by here.

What is your favorite fruit? Avocado is really the only one I’ll give a pass to. Everything else tastes horrible.

What about vegetable? Broccoli, bell peppers, green beans.

Department Five: Health And Beauty

What kind of makeup do you normally use? None. If I absolutely have to put on makeup, I will begrudgingly put on foundation, maybe some eyeliner, and lip gloss. And they will all most likely be borrowed from my sister.

Do you wear more makeup on special events? Not necessarily.

What is your favorite makeup brand? I wouldn’t be the right person to ask because I would just say none of them.

Do you use any acne products? Mmm no, I just splash water on my face, really. I actually got into a conversation about skincare with my co-workers yesterday and besides the usual shocked experessions I get when people find out I don’t use products, they recommended I at least get moisturizer and sunscreen. Idk, let’s see but historically it’s been hard to convince me to invest in skincare haha.

What kind of perfume do you use? I have one of Beyoncé’s perfumes, Heat Rush. I don’t actually know if that’s still in production but it’s been my staple for like a decade or so now.

Have you ever been on a diet? No. I never really had to be on one.

What products do you use in your hair? Shampoo and conditioner.

How often do you brush your hair? Only when I have to leave the house or have an important virtual work meeting.

What do you take when you have an upset stomach? Nothing. The toilet usually solves that for me lol.

Do you take any prescription medicine? Nope.

Department Six: Movies, Music, And Books

What is your favorite movie of all time? It’s been Two for the Road for a solid nine years and it doesn’t look like anything’s on its way to dethroning it anytime soon.

What genre of movie do like best? Drama. The more realistic it is, the better.

What was the last movie you watched? It’s a Korean film called Be With You. I liked it and I cried waterfalls, but the ending was so rushed it was kind of disappointing.

What was the last movie you purchased? I don’t buy movies. If I wanted to see a film I’ll check if Netflix has it, then if they don’t I just try to scour one of those illegal movie streaming sites that always happen to have thousands of pornographic ads hahaha.

What is your all time favorite band? Paramore. Do you still buy CDs? Only from artists I’m an extremely huge fan of. Right now that would be BTS, so I’m catching up on all the albums they’ve released in the last eight years.

What was the last CD you bought? I got the Butter album set, if that counts. If it doesn’t, the last full-length album I purchased was Dark & Wild.

What was the last song you listened to? I think it was Permission To Dance.

What is your favorite book? I haven’t found it yet.

Do you even like reading? I used to love it a lot more, to the point that back in grade school I was known as always having a book in my hand. I just don’t know where that passion went.

How often do you read? Nearly never. I mean...I do read fanfics, I guess; but I won’t count those.

Department Seven: Sports And Fitness

Do you own a bike/scooter/skateboard/etc.? We do have a bike at home, but that doesn’t mean I know how to ride it. We don’t have the other two.

How old were you when you learned to ride a bike w/o training wheels? I still don’t know how to last on a bike without training wheels heheh.

Have you ever been camping? Nah.

How often do you work out? Nope but at work my boss just started another fitness challenge, so I’ll probably have to get back on working out soon just because I would want to accomplish the challenge.

Are you in good shape? Sure, I think so. I’m not like fit fit because I neveeer exercise haha, but I also don’t make it a point to constantly eat unhealthy foods or have an unhealthy lifestyle to the point that it affects my body.

Do you go to a gym? I do not. I thought of getting a membership at the start of the year but I’m glad I didn’t push through with it because all the gyms are still closed anyway.

Have you ever been fishing? No. Idk if it’s my kind of pastime or not.

Have you ever been on a boat? Yeah. My country has like 7000 islands so I was bound to get on a boat at some point in my life haha.

Can you play golf? Never seemed interesting to me so no. Even on Wii Sports I barely picked golf.

Ever rode on a golf cart? Yeah, in resorts where we had to ride them to be taken to our room.

Would you ever go hunting? That’s an easy no.

What is your favorite sport? Pro wrestling or table tennis.

Ever played on a sports team? No, my school didn’t have a table tennis varsity.

Department Eight: Toys

What was your favorite toy as a child? Cash registers because I liked the buttons. Also Play-Doh sets that had those contraptions that would squirt out the clay in various shapes.

Do you still play with toys? Well, no.

Do you collect any toys? I don’t, but I’m not opposed to start buying Funko Pop figurines of people or characters I’m interested in.

Did you ever have building blocks? Sure, but I was never creative enough for them.

Did you play with dolls? No.

Barbies or Bratz? Which were better? BRATZZZZZZ

What is your favorite board game? Scrabble.

Do you like to do arts and crafts? Hell no.

Do you think that kids now have it better than when you were young? For sure, but isn’t that kind of the goal?

#survey #surveys

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ckret2 · 4 years

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So I've been deeply pulled into the Radiosnake pairing bc of your fantastic writing! Problem is, now I have fic ideas but no knowledge of the Hazbin background. Can you tellI me where I can get more Hazbin info? I've only watched the pilot and read your stuff. I heard there were comics??

That is an excellent question anon, because right now it is really hard to get Hazbin background easily.

Okay, so, the canon info on Hazbin Hotel can be sort of sorted into four tiers, from most to least canon.

Tier 1: The Definitely Canon

There is, of course, the pilot. And then there is an Angel Dust prequel comic, only seven pages of which have been released so far. We’ve been told it’s gonna be finished and we’ve had glimpses of in-progress prequel comics for a couple other characters—most prominently Alastor’s and Charlie’s—but so far that unfinished Angel Dust comic is the only one that’s been officially released.

Finding the in-progress comic pages is... a challenge. Nobody, as far as I can tell, has been specifically collecting all of the pages we’ve seen so far. I was able to scrounge up:

Couple more Angel pages

some Alastor pages

another Alastor page

a random Alastor panel

another random Alastor panel—I’ve seen the full page of this before, Alastor goes “Hello ladies!” and they go “HELLO ALASTOR~<3″ but I can’t find the full page now

There’s a smattering more canon panels on the artist faustisse’s twitter, but I haven’t dug them all out, and some of the posts I’m gonna link in a lil bit have a glimpse of another panel.

If you haven’t already heard of Helluva Boss, I recommend looking into it as well. It’s a second series being created by the same folks, different cast of characters but set in the same version of Hell, so any canon details we learn in Helluva also apply to Hazbin.

Helluva’s pilot is here. Plus a cute music video here.

Earlier this month, during a BLM charity stream hosted by show artist Ashley Nichols—she runs regular streams under the title “HuniCast”—they released a few sneak peaks of future Helluva scenes, all compiled here.

And that’s it for canon. Two pilots, a music video, a smattering of future scenes, part of one comic, a few WIP pages/panels from other comics.

Tier 2: Pseudo-Canon

Everything else we currently know about Hazbin (and Helluva) are things that the creators have told us. Consequently, they’re all pseudo-canon—and likely subject to change in the future as the shows and comics are further developed and released. Some details that were released/described in the past have been contradicted at other times, or else radically changed by the time the pilot came out.

(For example, when Alastor was first created years and years ago as an OC with no plans for Hazbin, he was a demon deer who could shapeshift into a human shape—now he’s a demonized human with a few deer traits. And Charlie and Cherri Bomb used to look very different.)

So until and unless they make it into canon, all these pseudo-canon details are subject to change and should be taken with a grain of salt—but, they also comprise most of what we know about the characters’ backstory and the as-yet-unaired characters.

Pseudo-canon info on Hazbin is scattered mainly between two sources: the creators’ twitter accounts, and livestreams where they take questions and talk about the making of the show. If you and livestreams do not get along (my ADHD and livestreams do not get along), or if you don’t want to wade years and years back into twitter accounts to dig up every scrap of info on the characters the creators have ever mentioned, collating all the pseudo-canon info is gonna be hard. (It’s gonna be hard even if you do want to sit through the streams and dig through all their tweets.) Lots of fans, me included, depend on the absolutely heroic work of various fans who are willing and able to watch hours-long streams and collate a list of canon factoids released during the streams. I’ve reblogged as many of these posts as I’ve been able to find:

Alastor’s sound design (on twitter)

Alastor's Sound Design (post I made with screenshots of weird—but very interesting—subtitles slipped into the aforementioned video)

Sir Pentious and Cherri Bomb’s sound design

Niffty and Husk’s sound design

Charlie, Katie, and Tom’s sound design

Intro song’s sound design

Happy Hotel’s sound design

details from Faustisse (including a pic of a couple costume designs. Most of these posts come from zatyrlucy, who’s been doing a fantastic job of going stream-by-stream to get lists of details from the regular streams by Ashley Nichols and by comic artist Faustisse.)

more details from Faustisse (including a pic of the Von Eldritch family dining room)

Faustisse 3 (better look at that table)

Dollymoon’s Hazbin Hotel Facts - PART ONE (Shoutout again to dollymoon for compiling these, we’ve never spoken but I am eternally grateful for this service. Dollymoon’s posts are THE single most reliable compilation of Hazbin Hotel’s nebulous pseudo-canon facts that I have found to date, including both links to the sources and timestamps where applicable. Dollymoon’s URL has changed since making this post so the “read more” link doesn’t work but the “source” or “reblogged from” links direct correctly to the new blog. Incidentally, the risk of other blog creators deleting their blogs/posts or changing their URLs is why in info posts like these, I always link to my own reblogs rather than their original posts—their original posts might vanish without warning, but I know I ain’t gonna delete my posts, so these links will still work in the future.)

Hazbin Hotel Facts - PART TWO

Hazbin Hotel Facts - PART THREE

Faustisse 4

HuniCast - Australian Wildlife Relief charity stream

I think this was a faustisse stream (the original source deleted these posts, so the comic pages that were originally behind that read more cut are now gone.)

Faustisse stream 6?

And those are all the masterposts of factoids I’ve managed to collect. If anyone has more masterposts, chuck ‘em at me.

Even this isn’t all the knowledge that’s been released about the show. The posts that dig the farthest back are Dollymoon’s, and even they don’t comprehensively cover all of Hazbin’s production. A couple of these characters, Vivziepop created as a teenager, so there’s some truly ancient concept art floating around out there that will have details that probably aren’t canon anymore... but might still be until something happens to actively contradict them.

Tier 3: The Wiki

The wiki is kind of an absolute mess. It’s a chaotic blend of things actually seen in the pilots/comic, things mentioned at some point in some stream somewhere, and wild fan speculation based on what they headcanon as plausible based on the above, all mixed together with very little indication for which is canon, pseudo-canon, fanon, or speculation. Most of the statements on the wiki don’t have citations.

(And, on top of that, half the main characters’ info gets split up into separate tabs instead of just having a normal-ass wiki page, AND their image galleries are on COMPLETELY SEPARATE pages that are linked to in one of the tabs, and the most important characters all have TWO SEPARATE GALLERIES. Which doesn’t have anything to do with the quality of the facts hidden underneath those tabs, but nevertheless drives me up the wall.)

Some things on the wiki were added according to info released so long ago it’s probably changed by now. Some are possibilities that got reported as facts. Other things on the wiki have unambiguously changed, or else are just flat-out incorrect. (For instance, at this moment Alastor’s page still lists him as an overlord, even though it's been confirmed that Alastor is not an overlord despite his power level because he isn’t interested in and didn’t pursue that position, per this stream. For a little bit, somebody’s fanart of their headcanon human Alastor got added to the wiki as concept art.)

tl;dr: the wiki should never be trusted as a primary source. The wiki’s better than it used to be. Even so, at this time, it’s only trustworthy to fill in the gaps of what you already know is true from other, better sources.

The thing it’s good at is it more or less compiles all the known info all in one place. Trying to figure out who the hell this Vox guy is is really hard if you’re reading for mentions of him in compilations of a dozen different streams, much less if you’re trying to comb through those dozen streams yourself, plus a dozen more, plus three different artists’ twitters. In comparison, it’s really easy to, say, just go look at Vox’s wiki page, where all the trivia is compiled. (And Vox’s page is actually one of the better cited on the wiki. Look at all those numbers!)

So, if you need to find out who this character is you’ve never heard of before, if you want to see a full list of the thus far named characters, if you don’t remember whether Alastor likes coffee or tea, if you want to know what Angel’s twin sister looks like, if you need a reminder of Sir Pentious’s death year... check the wiki. It’s an okay starting point.

But, if you see a “fact” on the wiki that you yourself don’t remember from straight out of the pilot, and it doesn’t have a citation that links to a tweet or a stream... regard it suspiciously. And do not trust it unquestioningly as fact until and unless you have seen the source.

Tier 4: Noncanon Creator Shitposting

I’ve mentioned Ashley’s HuniCast streams a couple times. The biggest draw of them is that she usually gets several of the voice actors in the streams, where they’ll happily say nonsense in their character voices. For the most part, they’re not sharing any actual canon info they’ve been given on their characters, just goofing around pretending to be their characters. Nevertheless, a lot of the things that happen in streams get accepted as broad fandom headcanons, like Alastor being into dad jokes. (My favorite, for obvious reasons, is this one.)

It’s easy to find the source audio for all this wonderful nonsense by searching youtube for “HuniCast highlights,” and then rummaging around for animatics people make out of the audio. The only one noncanon video of this sort I can think of that didn’t originally come from HuniCast is a lone one from Alastor’s singing voice (who’s a different voice actor than his speaking voice).

So, obviously, none of these are canon. But they do come from some of the people actually involved in the creation of the show, and they are in the characters’ canon voices, so a whole lot of people treat them as semi-canon anyway. (Even the wiki lists “dad jokes” among Alastor’s likes, which to my knowledge hasn’t come up anywhere except for HuniCast streams.) Since they’re so broadly-known, they’re worth knowing about as important sources of fanon, even if you don’t want to adopt them into your own headcanons. They’re basically the same level of canon as blooper reels.

#anonymous #ask #hazbin hotel #reference #helluva boss

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asterekmess · 4 years

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S3A - E1

Okay, instead of making like massive reblogs of thoughts as I have them for the episodes, I’m gonna just make a massive bullet point list that I’ll add to throughout the episode, so you get One post per episode instead of “Like all nine million of them.”

I put Read-More’s because I care.

Thoughts (of which I have far too many):

I’m in the first ten seconds of the fuckin episode. Why the fuck is Braeden electrocuting Isaac? Like, look, I wanna like Braeden. I have issues with her entire moral system, but I still wanna like her cus’ she saves Isaac. But...how am I supposed to do that when the literal first thing she does is electrocute my boy??? He’s knocked out, not DEAD (not that that’s how shocking someone’s heart even Works) and it’s not like she needs to trigger the healing process. He’s already got Gaping slash wounds on his chest. He’s hurt enough. ALSO. “Be quiet”?? R U Serious? You’re electrocuting him. YOU try being quiet with fucking jumper cables on your chest.

The CGI...is so bad. Oh my god. What the absolute fuck. it looks like Sharkboy & Lavagirl. And why aren’t Ethan & Aiden’s claws doing anything to the bike?

I AM CONFUSION. If the twins don’t have to take their pants off to do the Transformers shit, why do they have to take off their shirts? Can...can I just skip that? Make the big bad werewolf wear an ugly hybrid of two of their stupid ass sweaters? Or do Ethan and Aiden really just like being shirtless that much? (I wouldn’t put it past them)

What is with Braeden and the electricity?

The writing in this show, what the fuck? “I thought I told you to hold on” EXCUSE ME, ma’am. He literally just passed out. His bad I guess.

Guess who has to add the anti-scott tag to this now? Anyway, I hate that Allison’s bit in the intro is her kissing Scott and then drawing the bow. Like, they’re broken up. They don’t get together in this season. Why are they kissing in the intro? That had to have Totally pissed off Scallison fans.

There’s my boy, holding up lizard tattoo designs. Pls tell me he took a pic and sent it to Jackson with the caption “It’s YOU.” Like, yes, way too soon, but man it’s fuckin funny.

This tattoo artist is a good-ass salesman. However, p-sure he’s not a good-ass artist if he had to wrap Scott’s arm up That badly. Like...they have stuff for that. Fuck, the one I got on my ankle, they used SaranWrap and Tape. Just needs to be kept out of the open air for a bit. You don’t need like eight layers of gauze. I do feel for Scott tho. That tat probably cost him like $50-75 before the tip. Oof.

Eyyy, time to be salty. Ya’ll know I love Allison, but does it get any more clear that she totally bailed on everyone after the warehouse? She went to France! She doesn’t even know what happened to Jackson after he got cured. ALSO. Lydia says “Derek taught him the werewolf 101.” Not Scott. Derek. XP

Lydia, honey, leave Allison alone. If she doesn’t want to go on the double date, go alone and make it an orgy. Fun, right? Wait, no. Don’t. You’re 16. Don’t do that!

When exactly did they “agree to give each other the summer”? She said “I’m breaking up with you.” he said “I’ll wait” and then she cried into her dad’s arms. Like...why didn’t we get to see this apparently incredibly important conversation? (maybe because it didn’t happen??)

I fucking LOVE the “I’m just gonna say hi. HEYYYYY! You know....they probably didn’t see us.”

The most horrific thing about that moment was the bad CGI.

I WANNA POINT OUT how cute it is (in a like, sad way cus’ she’s terrified) that Lydia is close enough to Stiles now that she immediately goes for his side and they like insta connect with the eye contact. Not in like a Stydia way, but like, they’re close. she trusts him and goes to him when she’s scared, even though he’s human and you’d wonder if she shouldn’t go to Scott instead, since he’s the werewolf.

SCOTT WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING THE DEAD DEER. Your ability to smell chemosignals/sense emotions has nothing to do with touching. Stop poking the dead animal.

Wait, WHY is there a full moon in that shot? The full moon isn’t for like a week! I COUNTED.

...what? Why the fuck does Braeden think Scott’s an Alpha? Why tho? Like, seriously? WHY? He’s not an Alpha yet. Nowhere near it. And if she knows bc Deaton told her (i think he was the one who hired her) then shouldn’t she know he isn’t one yet? IF SHE KNOWS that she can tell Melissa abt werewolves, WHY doesn’t she know that Scott’s Melissa’s son? Where is the LOGIC?

Scott’s morning routine is giving me Legally Blonde vibes. ~my perrrfectt dayyy, nothing standing in my wayyy~

I can’t tell. did Allison get highlights, or straight up dye her hair brown?

This sweet moment between her and her dad. Yes. Pls.

I will admit, I like getting to see each of their mornings.

Lydia...who are you fucking? Honey, you’re sixteen. Why isn’t whoever the fuck is in bed with you also getting ready for school? What.....the fuck?

Completely different Beacon Hills High School set. I really can’t blame the writers for that.

Wtf Davis? You list Erica and Boyd as being 17...since when? They’re supposed to be entering their Junior Year of high school. They would be 16 GOING ON 17. ANd what the hell do you mean Erica’s birthday is August 16th? She said in the last season that she’d “Just turned 16 a month ago” that was Spring semester. ???? Come on, guys. Seriously. Writing 101, getting to know your characters. I don’t know anyone writing a novel who doesn’t know the exact birthday of their characters. Plus, they cut 2 in. from Gage Golightly’s actual height, while adding an inch to Sinqua’s (according to google, which isn’t always reliable) Whatever. Boooooo.

Uh...that principal was threatened by the Argents. Victoria herself promised to torture him if he didn’t resign. Why does he look so surprised by the fucking sword in his office? For that matter, why is he at the school at all? He KNOWS the Argents attacked him. This should cause problems!

Honestly, Lydia, I love you. Like, go for it. Nothing wrong with not wanting to date and just wanting to have fun. My issues stem from YOU BEING 16. Yes, teenagers have sex. But this is ridiculous. Why is there so much sexualization? I knew a grand total of like....two teenagers who had sex at 16? and like one who did at 15 (which they say in canon she and Jackson were banging before her birthday). Like, it’s not nearly as common as y’all are making it out to be. Knock it off.

WHEN DID MELISSA MEET ISAAC PROPERLY? WHEN did that HAPPEN?

....so why didn’t Derek answer the phone? They literally never explain? He shows up, so...why didn’t he answer?

I’m SO InCredibly Disturbed by Jennifer having everyone’s phone numbers. HOW? In What Way is that REMOTELY appropriate? WHY did no one question it? Why didn’t STILES or LYDIA question it?

So tiny, bugs me so much. He didn’t turn his phone off. He turned his screen off...is it that hard to have him do the right one?

uhhh. Werewolves can smell other werewolves. Wanna tell me why Isaac can’t tell a werewolf just walked in the room? An ALPHA no less?

why TF are Kali’s iris’ and pupils so fucking massive?

So...what was the deal with the birds? Don’t they say later that Jennifer like summoned them? So they aren’t from the Alpha pack scaring animals? And also, how would the Alpha pack be scaring animals if they’re like, in the middle of town? They said in S1 that “wild animal sightings are up” like what 75% or something? “As though something is scaring them out” but that made sense, bc we knew Peter was running around in his full-shift (it’s a fucking full shift, it’s just fucked up) in the woods. But these Alphas aren’t, they’re integrating. So is it Jennifer that the animals are afraid of? Like, does she have sPoOkY aura or something?

More bad CGI.

WHy is no one responding to the woman stumbling around in nothing but a hospital gown?

ONCE AGAIN. Werewolves can Sense Werewolves. SCOTT you sensed Isaac in a BOYS LOCKER ROOM. DUKE IS RIGHT THERE. WHT THE FUCK?

angry smoker doctor “Why don’t you wheel this joker out of here?” “I’m gonna go smoke” Grrr

Sir. clearly your mask wasn’t tied on appropriately. it shouldn’t just Fall Off when you touch it. there are Protocols! STOP THE SPREAD. also, someone wanna tell me why none of these alphas can keep their claws in? A lil flashy flashy red eye would’ve done the trick just fine.

Okay no, seriously what the FUCK is up with these contacts, you guys? THEY”RE MASSIVE???

Ugh, can I just *swoons* “I’m an Alpha!” slice “So am I.” That is just so fucking smooth. Woo. I feel so safe ohmygod. PLUS. Derek KNOWS Ennis. I can’t imagine how satisfying that had to be.

Uh, Derek, honey. You’re Isaac’s legal guardian. You can just Sign Him Out of the hospital. With clothes and everything. What are you doing?

Honey, what do you mean the county took it over? If they were gonna do that they’d have done it six fucking years ago. Unless you gave it to them, it’s still yours? I did the research. Like HOURS of it.

What do you MEAN there’s a magic healing herb that helps with Alpha wounds? Since when do Alpha wounds need extra healing, I thought they just took a lil longer? ALSO why is it growing INSIDE your house???? SCOTT. Isaac is fucking UNCONSCIOUS. Can your tattoo fucking WAIT A MINUTE?

I have so many questions. WHY does Braeden know who Allison is? If Lydia’s immune to magic, WHY is Braeden able to bruise her? WHY can Braeden DO magic? and WHY is Chris allowed to take Lydia out of school?

ALLISON you had Geometry LAST YEAR why are you holding a GEOMETRY BOOK??

ohhhhmygod, Derek. Derek. DEREK. Your eyes are pretty on a normal day. That little Blink and ruby reds thing? Ohmygod. I just. I wanna take a picture and just stare at it BUT. how tf does this whole red eye thing work? You can see in the dark....but now you also have x-ray vision? You know, I could believe it was thermal vision...maybe? If Scott was still healing for some reason maybe the tattoo would be brighter? Otherwise I have no idea what is going on.

BUT SCOTT”S NOT 18??? He’s Still fucking 16, or even 17, but not 18. WTF? He needs parental consent in the first place (i should’ve mentioned this in the other note abt the tattoo)

uhh...seriously? When someone breaks up with you and tells you not to talk to them anymore...why do you need a reward for doing as they asked? Like, yeah, you’re sad, I feel that. But making it a ‘reward’ sounds kinda weird. You know what makes it really easy not to text the ex that doesn’t wanna talk to you? Delete her number.

WHY THE BLOWTORCH? SOMEONE WANNA EXPLAIN? Peter’s not covered in tattoo from when he was literally burned alive, why the FUCK would a blowtorch create a black tattoo on Scott’s skin?

DEREK. HONEY. Why would Stiles be able to hold Scott still??? Scott’s a werewolf.

All this bullshit to explain away Posey’s tattoo that he got. Like, damn dude, we all like tattoos, but you have a job that needs bare arms on the regular. That was kinda rude.

Where did braeden get clothes? I forgot to ask.

uhhhh. Ephemeral might technically work in that sentence, but that’s still really awkward.

WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DESTROY HIS DOOR? YOU FUCKING ASSHAT. And WHY the instant fucking grr face? “why’d you paint the door?” uhh, leave him alone? He can do what he wants? It’s his house? Also, don’t get all fucking rude about the alpha pack. He told you it was a rival pack.

KALI. PUT SOME FUCKING SHOES ON. JESUS.

Why exactly does Scott see the symbol and INSTANTLY put together that it’s got anything to do with the Alphas or the animal attacks? Where is the logic jump there?

What exactly was the POINT of popping your claws if you were gonna kick her in the face???

UH, Melissa? Why didn’t you tell Scott that there was a whole other person with Isaac?

What is with the face touching, Duke? I’ve never known a blind person who actually wanted to rub their hands on my face to ‘find out what i look like?’

Really not a fan of all these weird jumps and camera angles with the awkward reflecting.

WOah WOah. Allison gets to PAINT her APARTMENT? Wtf kinda BULlshit is that? My landlord won’t let me do that. Rude.

I know they’re imprisoned and it sucks, but they’ve been there for four months, they had to have gotten bored. Do you think they broke into any of the security deposit boxes to see if anything was left behind?

Last thoughts: They really went for it with this episode. I have plans to change a lot of it. Hopefully I can mesh the changes with the general plotline.

#personal #TeenWolf-Rewatch #anti-scott mccall #for safety reasons

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spam-monster · 4 years

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Helsaweek 2020 Day 1: Swap

(or tumblr’s apparently being a butt but idgaf i’mma post this and head out)

I’ve done things like power swaps or gender swaps or kingdom swaps before (at least in my head), and I wanted to do something different this time, sooooo...introducing amount-of-siblings swap!

-----

In the beautiful kingdom of Arendelle, there were once thirteen fair princesses; although the kingdom had only ever seen two of them, for around the time the third was being carried the king and queen had suddenly closed the gates to the castle without warning. Stories were told, by the servants and traders who went in and out, of a group of perfectly normal, lovely girls. Yes, they all had their quirks, but none seemed to have any affliction that would justify hiding them away. Rumors were spread as well: questions of parentage, a hidden 14th child born with some terrible curse and locked away, a secret illness that affected only royalty…or perhaps something to do with the eldest child, Elsa, since she was almost never seen outside of her rooms.

But surely she was just engrossed in her studies, preparing herself to become the new queen after her parents had been lost. After all, the older townsfolk had met Elsa when she was younger, and she had been a perfectly normal, sweet young girl. Whatever had caused her parents cut themselves off from the kingdom, it surely had nothing to do with her…

---

“Alright, that’s enough! Dina, don’t play huntress with Frida’s Mr. Deer! Ingrid, stop trying to give Cathrine a makeover! Gunda, Hilda, stop fighting! Jorunn, we can go see the horses later! Klara, Linda…”

“You’re fine.” Brigitta says from behind her. “Now let’s all get ready for bed, we have a big day tomorrow.”

Anna sighs in relief, and mentally thanks Brigitta. At least one of her little sisters is acting responsible tonight.

“We want to make a good first impression on the peasants, after all.”

…Or maybe not.

“Yeah, c’mon. You don’t want them to get mad at us and rebel and drag us all to the guillotine.”

“Cathrine, no one is being guillotined tomorrow.”

“I’d like to see ‘em try!”

“Hilda, please don’t try to fight anyone.”

“…Will they even like us?”

“Linda, of course they will.”

“Why should we even care about Elsa’s coronation?”

Anna turned to Mathilde, the youngest of the thirteen sisters of Arendelle, slumped over on a couch looking bored. “Because she’s your big sister, and she’s going to be queen! We’ve all been waiting for this day for years, we need to support her-”

“Why should I care about someone I barely know?”

Anna flinched. “It’s true, that…Elsa hasn’t been around much lately…or spent much time with us…but I’m sure she’s just been…very busy! With…studying to be queen! And all!”

Mathilde glared. “That’s a lame excuse. She always ignores us.”

“She’s not…a bad person, really…”

“Yeah, I know, you always say you used to be “best friends” or whatever. But you’re the only one of us who’s ever seen her act like a real sister!”

Anna looked around, panicked, as most of the other girls began to nod and whisper in agreement.

“She never talks to us.”

“She’s never played with us.”

“She rarely even comes down for dinner.”

“She left you alone.”

Anna turned to Klara, confused. “Left me alone?”

Klara looked at her sadly. “After mom and dad died. She left you to raise us all on your own.”

And Anna had no answer for that.

-------

In the small kingdom known as the Southern Isles, there were once two princes. Although you might not have remembered at first, because the elder brother was so boisterous and dazzling that it was easy to forget the younger one even existed. Prince Torvald was remarkable; an accomplished hunter, a spectacular storyteller, able to charm even the most aloof noble, and sure he could be a bit boorish and egotistical at times, but he was a prince! It was to be expected, right?

“We should be grateful we even have a prince at all, let alone two.” People would whisper. “The poor queen had been trying for decades to bear the king a worthy heir, rest her soul.”

“Not sure the other one was worth her effort, though.” Others would grumble. “What’s his name…Hans? What has that one ever done that Prince Torvald didn’t do better? Well, at least we have a spare…”

---

“Is it not a fine day at sea, little brother? Clear skies, calm waters…and across the ocean, the quaint, little, unimportant country of Arendelle awaits the blessed presence of future King Torvald the Mighty!”

Hans tried very hard to suppress a sigh. *Arendelle is bigger than the Southern Isles* he grumbled under his breath.

“What was that?”

“If…Arendelle is so “unimportant”, as you say…why did you bother to come with me?”

“A King never passes up an opportunity to impress other rulers with his might! That’s a lesson you should remember…or not, I suppose.”

*Since I’ll never be a king, you mean*

“Also, I have heard tell that the future queen is quite beauteous. Perhaps she shall prove worthy of the honor of becoming my bride.”

*That was my plan, damn it!*

Torvald laughs obnoxiously and slaps Hans on the back, almost knocking him off his feet. “Fear not, little brother! I have also heard that she has many younger sisters! Perhaps one of them shall take pity on you!”

Sitron knickers at him in concern. Hans shakes it off. “Yes…perhaps. I – um, should go…check on the horses.”

Torvald laughs again and sends him off with another hearty slap. Hans sighs heavily as he tends to Sitron.

“I’m alright, boy.” He murmurs to the horse. “And who knows? Maybe the queen will be smart enough to see my brother for what he really is, and…who am I kidding? She’ll never look at me.”

-----

(I imagine how this goes is that:

- Hans still meets and bonds with Anna but Torvald swoops in and grabs her attention away since Elsa is ignoring him (and he’s jealous Hans is getting attention for once)

- Elsa still freaks out and runs, Anna still goes after her by herself and leaves Torvald and Hans in charge, Torvald spends most of the time posturing and giving grandiose speeches while Hans actually works to take care of the people and ends up bonding with the other princesses as well

- at the castle Torvald makes Hans go in first and he actually has a conversation with Elsa and bonds with her

- in the end Torvald talks Hans into killing Elsa (because he doesn’t want to dirty his hands, plus then he can make Hans take the blame if things go bad), but Hans hesitates so Torvald tries to do it himself but Anna stops him

- Torvald gets sent back but Hans decides to stay (and clean up his brother’s mess), the sisters all basically adopt him as their new unofficial big brother alongside Kristoff, the end)

Might expand on this later (like designing the new siblings, or maybe WRITING SOME ACTUAL HELSA IN INSTEAD OF JUST HINTING AT IT.)

Bios for the au siblings under the cut:

I basically just ran down the list of Norwegian girl names for this one (one from each of the first 13 letters that aren’t “a” or “e”), so let me throw out some basic entomology/character stuff for the swap siblings:

Brigitta: 3rd child, in this ‘verse Idunn was probably pregnant with her when the accident happened. Goes between helping Anna keep the younger ones in line and causing problems herself. Has a bit of a superiority complex regarding her status as a princess - acts like she must be better than everyone outside the gates, but really it’s a coping mechanism to help her deal with the isolation she feels. Name means “resolute, strength”.

Cathrine: Name possibly derives from the goddess of witchcraft Hectate, so she’s the spooky, playfully morbid one. Level-headed when she’s not creeping the younger ones out by joking about death. Dina is her younger twin.

Dina: Name comes from the goddess Diana; Roman equivalent to Artemis, goddess of the moon and hunts. She picked up her love of hunting from the hunters who would come and sell fresh meat to the castle cooks, and spend her time stalking the other girls (and their stuffed animals) and sneak-attacking them with her toy bow and arrows.

Frida: Name means “peace”. A quiet nature-lover who hates conflict, which is ironic because she’s one of a set of triplets and the other two are the most aggressive of the bunch. Ends up being the target of the more aggressive girls a lot because she doesn’t want to fight back, and she’d rather they pick on her than one of the younger girls.

Gunda and Hilda: Names mean “war” and “battle” respectively, and they live up to them. The typical red-headed identical twin duo that’s always causing trouble (except they’re triplets and the other one doesn’t want to play along). Dina can either be their ally or their rival depending on the situation.

Ingrid: Name means “beautiful”- basically she’s the one obsessed with fancy clothes and trying to do everyone’s makeup.

Jorunn: Name means “horse lover” …yeah. Obsessed with horses, spends way too much time in the stables and comes back kinda smelly, biggest dream is to ride freely through the fields of Arendelle, possibly has headcanons of what breed of horse each of her family members would be (with accompanying fanart).

Klara: Name means “clear, bright”. Intelligent and honest, sometimes to a fault. Although she doesn’t like upsetting people, she won’t shy away from telling hard truths. Linda is her twin.

Linda: The most gentle and sensitive of the girls, easily stressed and has a hard time objecting to others because she doesn’t want to hurt their feelings. Gets along best with Frida, who tries to protect her from the more rambunctious girls. Name means “soft, mild”.

Mathilde: The youngest of the bunch. Acts out a lot because she knows she can get away with it. Her name means “battle strength”, and she lives up to it by being the most strong-willed and stubborn of the bunch.

As for Hans’ older brother, he had to be really obnoxious to make up for the fact that there’s only one of him instead of twelve. Torvald means “Thor’s ruler”, and I basically based him off Thor at the beginning of his first movie (minus any of the good traits) – he’s brash, egotistical, and takes his little brother for granted. Unlike Thor, he’s also an emotionally abusive dirty coward with no respect for women or anyone he deems “weaker” than himself (which is pretty much everyone except his father).

(Even though Hans stays in Arendelle in this ‘verse, I think he might end up going back and becoming king of the Southern Isles someday just because I can easily see the kingdom deciding its sick of Torvald’s shit and kicking him out. Maybe he and Elsa end up in a long-distance thing, or they unite their kingdoms or something idk how this works.)

#helsa #helsa au #helsaweek #helsaweek2020 #frozen #frozen au #elsa #hans westergaard #prince hans

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shlabam · 4 years

Text

ALL OF CYCLOPS’ CHILDREN, RANKED

Despite being fairly young and a very active planet-saving adventurer/ crusader for mutant rights, Cyclops has managed to father a significant number of children. Sure, all of them hail from alternate futures, many of which have been erased due to the actions of Scott Summers himself, but his DNA has traveled through space and time to create, in one way or another, ten different humans throughout the Marvel Multiverse. And now, because it’s the internet, they will be ranked by coolness. Feel free to become furious in the comments. [Note: this article only discusses characters who were directly descended from Cyclops’ DNA. No adoptees, grandchildren, or in-laws, just his direct kids.]

9-10 (tie): Charles and Jeanette Summers (Millennial Visions)

Somebody’s gotta be at the bottom. These tykes only exist on one page of X-Men: Millennial Visions, a one-shot where various artists showed their ideas for what the X-Men would look like in the new millennium. One artist apparently thoughts the coolest possible idea would be for a lull in villain activity, allowing Scott and Jean to settle down and have a couple kids. Charles and Jeanette rank at the bottom of this list for having no discernible powers, as well as very lazy names. (Really? You’re gonna name them after your most important mentor, and yourself, but with an -ette on the end? Think outside the box, Red.)

6-8 (tie): Alex and the Twins (X-Men: The End)

In the alternate world of X-Men: The End, Scott and Emma Frost have four children. The oldest is later on this list, but these three duds gotta come up first, seeing as they have no traits, and two of them don’t even have names. It’s implied that they have powers and have been trained in unarmed combat, but with all their appearances being in the background and no lines of dialogue, they can’t hold a candle to the children of Cyclops who affect the worlds around them. Plus, you can’t fool me: those twins are just two spare Stepford Cuckoos with drawn-on freckles. Come on!

5: Megan Summers (X-Men: The End/ GeNext)

Megan Summers, the oldest of Scott and Emma’s children from X-Men: The End, suffers from underexposure. She mostly exists as a prop for Scott and Emma to agonize over, such as when she is kidnapped by Mister Sinister. However, as she grows into her powers (fairly potent telepathy), she enters a relationship with Oliver Raven (son of Rogue and Gambit) and joins his team GeNext, the next generation of X-Men. In another universe, she could have had her own title and adventures, but the short run of GeNext leaves most of her stories untold.

4: X-Man

Nate Grey, created by Mister Sinister using Cyclops and Jean Grey’s DNA in the alternate timeline Age of Apocalypse, could have ranked higher on this list if it was still the 90s. However, as we move further and further from his relevance, we are forced to examine his contributions to the Marvel Universe after his arrival in the main timeline: had the ego to call himself X-Man (yikes), had the ego to call himself the Shaman of the Mutant Tribe (double yikes), lost a lot of his powers in combat with the Sugar Man (what a loser), and lately has function as more of an antagonist to the team from which he took his name. Sure, he has his fans, but it’s hard to relate to a character this powerful. Bonus points for his initial escape from the Age of Apocalypse: stabbing Apocalypse’s son with a chunk of the M’Kraan Crystal. That’s some Final Fantasy ish.

3: Ruby Summers

Hailing from the same future as Bishop, Ruby acts as one of the figureheads for the Summers Rebellion, a mutant uprising to campaign for mutant rights in a world where they’re frequently held in internment camps. Another potential offspring of Scott and Emma Frost, Ruby is also the only one of Scott’s children to not exhibit telepathic powers, instead inheriting her father’s optic blasts and her mother’s invulnerable gemstone form. Additionally, she can retain her ruby form for any amount of time, granting her immortality (she looks to be in her 20s but is actually over 80 years old). Despite being interesting enough for her own series (or at least membership in a team book), Ruby only appears in a single arc in Peter David’s X-Factor, leaving much of her story untold. However, she gets points docked by being romantically linked with time-traveling serial killer and all-around grease-stain Trevor Fitzroy. Ew.

2. Cable

The most successful of Cyclops’ children, and also the only one he had intentionally. Born of Scott and his first wife Madelyne Pryor (who was a clone of Jean, so he’s kinda Jean’s kid, too), little Nathanial Summers was born with incredible mutant potential, but an infection with a techno-organic virus caused him to be pulled 2,000 years into the future where his condition could be treated. Since then, he’s traveled back and forth to the future, led scores of teams, fought Apocalypse, fought Mister Sinister, fought his own clone Stryfe, raised the first mutant born after M-Day, got fused with Deadpool, was portrayed in film by Josh Brolin, and currently exists in a younger form alongside the X-Men on the mutant utopia Krakoa. And despite all these incredible accomplishments and iconic character design, Cable just couldn’t plug in to the number one spot on this list.

1. Rachel Grey

The original, still the best. Rachel Summers has everything you want in a Cyclops offspring. Telepathic and telekinetic powers? Check. Hails from a post-apocalyptic future? Check, the world of Days of Future Past. Traumatic backstory? She was a literal slave trained to track down and kill other mutants as one of Ahab’s Hounds. Member of many teams? X-Men, Excalibur, Starjammers, and the current X-Factor, just to name a few. However, what sets her apart is her intentional iconoclastic views with her father. She adopts her dead mother’s alias, changes her last name to be closer to her, and, despite potentially having the same earth-shattering powers as her “siblings” Cable and X-Man, manages to keep it all under control, as well as occasional flirtations with the Phoenix Force. A genuine boss, a class above the rest. However, there’s another Summers son that can’t be discounted.

0. unnamed baby of Scott and Jean (X-Men: Millennial Visions)

Despite only appearing on one page of the same one-shot referenced at the beginning of this list, the sheer number of questions generated by this single illustration are innumerable. Why is this the only Cyclops kid to get both Scott and Jean’s powers? How is it possible for a baby to tap into their X-Gene at such a young age? Did Xavier design that X-Diaper, knowing the child would be the youngest member of his paramilitary force? (Eat that, 13-year-old Kitty Pryde!) This baby is everything Charles and Jeanette aren’t: potent, captivating, adorable, and lacking a first name. Give him a cinematic universe before he stops being cute.

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keepingupwithfundies · 4 years

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CO 1104: The Duggar Dash

The Duggars complete in a race designed by Michelle.

-T

Michelle calls the family together at the big house, and announces a fun, family competition: a race around town. This is inspired by how much fun they had at the corn maze. Michelle & Lauren are staying at the house with the kids, and the teams are based on the old buddy system with some updates. Team One: Joy, Austin, Tyler, Jennifer and James. Team Two: Jim Bob, Joe, Kendra and Johannah. Joe says they won't be able to go as fast as other teams. Kendra is nearing her due date but still wanted to participate. Team Three is Jana, Josiah, Jason, Jackson and Josie. Team Four: Ben, Jessa, Jeremiah, Justin and Jordyn (and Ivy, Jessa adds). Michelle says each team needs to stay together, and in order to win they must cross the finish line together. There will be a series of challenges, and the teams must complete each one before moving on. Michelle says no speeding, be safe, and have fun. The first challenge is eating a mystery item, and each team has to select someone to do it. They pick who eats what using a method similar to "musical chairs" with colored tiles on the ground- whichever color you end up on determines what you will eat and the color of your team moving forward. The four dishes are: tater tot casserole, Haggis, cricket tacos, and escargot. All of these foods have been sampled by Duggars on different trips (or, in the case of tater tot casserole, just at their house a lot). In the end, JB ends up with cricket tacos, Tyler with Haggis, Jackson with tater tot casserole and Ben with escargot. Everyone makes their way to their dishes, and begins eating. Everyone cheers on their teammates. Ben finishes first, and their team is now the yellow team. They have to head to a thrift store with a $5 bill and get yellow items for each team member to wear throughout the challenge. Tyler finishes next, and his team, the green team, heads out. The yellow team is still in their car, and Jordyn needs the bathroom really badly so they have to make a pit stop. The green team heads out. Jackson finishes, and his team, now the blue team, heads out. The green team has passed the yellow team due to their potty break. Just JB and his team at at the house. Finally, JB's team the red team, finishes and leaves the house. The teams begin arriving at the thrift store, and the green team is thinking socks are a good move. Jessa explains the layout of the thrift store to her team. Everyone talks about going the speed limit (and Jessa telling Ben to go faster). Green & Yellow arrive at the thrift store at the same time and start running around. The green team buys one $2 scarf, and they plan to cut it up for each team member. Austin says this isn't cheating. The cashier gives their next clue: a climbing gym. The green team leaves and is on their way. Yellow is finishing up, as blue arrives. Yellow buys 5 things, but blue is also planning on buying one thing and cutting it up. Yellow is out the door, and the blue team is finishing up. Red arrives and is rushing around. The Red team is not moving super quickly in the thrift store, and the blue team leaves. Green team arrives at the climbing team, and James is the one who does the climbing. He does it easily, and grabs the next clue: solving a math equation and finding a pair of shoes with the answer from the Duggar's jumbled up pile. Blue and Yellow arrive, and Josiah and Jeremiah prepare to climb. Green heads to the shoe pile at the treehouse while Blue & Yellow are climbing. Both teams leave close in time and head off. Green is trying to figure out their math problem: Number of the 19 kids who share the same name times number of years Joy and Austin have been married. Yellow has Jim Bob's Age divided by the number of Duggar daughters. They aren't sure how old JB is, but Jordyn knows he's 54. Red arrives at the climbing gym as everyone is leaving. Blue has Number of Duggars with December birthdays plus number of couples who have gotten marred in November. Joe does the climbing for the Red team. Joe climbs quickly, but needs his team to point out the envelope. Meanwhile, Jessa googles her dad's age. He is 54. Jana gets 6 birthdays in December, and Joy figures out that only two of the 19 kids share middle names: Jed & Jer. They debate whether Michelle is rounding down to two years for their marriage or if she means the 2.5 years they've actually been married. It's either 4 or 5. Red team has left their clue behind, so JB runs back in the climbing gym. Jana says that there are two anniversaries in November: the Vuolos and John & Abbie (this is wrong). Red Team now has to figure out: Age of the 15th Duggar minus The total number of washers & driers. JB gets the second half easily: 8. Jackson is 15, so 15-8 is 7. Green team arrives at the tree house, and starts looking for size four shoes. Joy finds one four quickly, and they dig through the pile to find the other pair of shoes. The Duggars talk about how it can be difficult to find shoes at their house. Joy finds the other shoe, and the Green team is off. Green is correct, and they have to go to a hay pile to find their next clue in a haystack. Yellow team arrives and is looking for size 6. They find their pair pretty quickly, and head off. Blue team heads to the tree house to find size 8. Jana gets them, and they run to the big house. James brings a machine over to go through the hay faster. Blue team learns their size 8 shoes are not correct. Yellow and Green are digging in the hay. Blue team list the November couples again: The Vuolos and the Seewalds. Michelle is waiting for them to realize who they're missing. Green and Yellow are still looking for clues. The blue team realizes their mistake. Jana: he's my twin and I planned his wedding! but they go and find the 9s and head back in. The red team arrives to find their shoes. The yellow team finds their clue, and they celebrate. They opens their clue as the green team are still looking. The clue tells them the first team back wins. Green team is discouraged that they lost their lead. Yellow team rushes back, and they are the winners of the challenge. They celebrate their victory. Jessa says, "good job Ivy! you were fast! you were fierce!" The three remaining teams being searching, and Joy finds the green team's clue and races back to the house. Austin tells the other teams where he saw their clues. Joy & Austin are bummed they were in second. Kendra is contracting in the hay stack, and the two remaining teams make a pack to head home together. Austin and Joe look for red's clue, and Joe is happy with his third place. The final rankings are: blue 4th, red 3rd, green 2nd and first for yellow. Everyone celebrates the challenge. Everyone claps for Michelle's planning, and several Duggars mention this should be an annual event.

#CO season 11 #recap #counting on

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eyebeastposts · 4 years

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A Sinistea Scheme

DA Link

Commission Info

WARNING THIS STORY CONTAINS: Female Age Progression and Minor Weight Gain

In a mysterious forest Marnie and Gloria go in search of rare Pokemon. What they find instead, is a strange house with a mischievous Sinistea that will take from them something very precious. This is a commissioned story for undeadpenguin37 to go along with a series of images they created. As always, enjoy and feedback is appreciated!

Sequence: Marnie and Gloria Age Progression, Marnie and Gloria Age Progression 2, Marnie and Gloria Age Progression 3

A misty fog twisted around the gnarled roots and hardened trunks of the ancient trees. Thick foliage above allowed only a few of the sun’s rays to light the underused trails and paths. The lack of visibility and foreboding atmosphere led credence to the rumors that swirled around town. Tales of people going missing or coming out as completely different people were meant to deter others from venturing inside. However, that didn’t stop the odd sighting of a rare Pokémon from garnering the interest of two up and coming trainers.

Her stoic face fitting of the gloomy atmosphere, Marnie tried to peek through the thick fog. Unable to see more than a few feet in front of her, she shook her head back and forth, swinging the tips of her twin-tailed, black hair. Pulling her black jacket over her pink mini-dress, she became more agitated at herself for agreeing to come to this place. Stomping her boots into the ground in frustration, she contemplated hiking out of the woods and never looking back.

A sudden rustling in the bushes sent a chill down her spine. Grasping a Pokeball between her fingers, she got ready to fight whatever was lurking inside. She only calmed down once she saw a familiar, green hat topped with a white ball of fluff peeking out of the foliage.

“You can come out Gloria, I can see you,” Marnie announced, putting away her Pokeball.

Gloria sprung up from the bush, twigs sticking out of her chin-length, brown hair. “I scared you didn’t I?” she asked, a wide grin on her face as she plucked leaves out of her grey hoodie.

“Isn’t this a little childish even for you?” she asked back, as Gloria fixed the skirt of her magenta dress.

“So you were scared,” Gloria replied, skipping her brown boots along the ground as she gave an unwanted hug to her friend.

“I was not,” Marnie replied, a red blush going across her pale cheeks. “I just think we shouldn’t be messing around here. Everyone in town said this forest was dangerous.”

“You’ve got to stop worrying so much and have fun while you can,” Gloria replied, releasing Marnie from her grasp to twirl around in the clearing. “We’re a pair of plucky, young, 18-year old trainers. If we want to become the best, we have to take every opportunity to capture new Pokémon, explore unknown places, and better our skills. The fact that you’re out here means you feel the same.”

Marnie grasped Gloria’s hoodie to stop her from spinning. “I’m only out here because of you. If I leave you alone, I’m afraid you’ll get lost.”

“Come on, that’s only happened once.”

Marnie replied with a cold stare.

“…okay maybe three times. In any case, let’s get a move on, you Slowpoke.”

Gloria bounded off into the woods, leaving Marnie to give chase. Dodging low hanging branches and twisted roots, Marnie somehow managed to keep pace with the overly excited girl. Using her arms to shield her face from a bramble of twigs, she blindly stumbled into a dead still Gloria. Reeling backwards, Marnie got ready to scold her companion until she saw what was before them.

Looking very out of place from the overgrown forest was a decrepit house that appeared long abandoned. The windows were either cracked or missing with vines creeping through the open slits. What few tiles remained on the roof looked ready to fall apart the moment a bird landed on them. A stray wind sent a stone from the crumbling chimney rolling onto the forest floor. Despite all this, the old door barely hanging off its hinges seemed to whisper to them to come inside.

“Let’s go check it out,” Gloria said, stepping forward only to be stopped by Marnie grabbing her arm.

“Maybe we should just leave. All you’re going to find in there is just dust and junk.”

“But what if there’s a really cool Pokémon in there?” she asked back, shaking in place from anticipation. “It’ll just be a quick second, I promise.”

Giving up on trying to convince her fellow trainer to make a logical decision, Marnie released her grasp. “Okay, but just for a second.”

Pressing on the door with just a meager amount of strength was enough to send it falling into the entryway. The impact shook the dust off the bookshelves and rattled around the broken glass along the creaky floor. Undeterred by her less than graceful entrance, Gloria proceeded inside with Marnie close by. While’s Gloria’s pep was unhindered, Marnie found herself tightly grasping a Pokeball, ready at any moment to toss it at whatever terrifying thing may lurk around the next corner.

Marnie’s fears were unrealized as they made their way to a quaint looking sitting area. A fireplace that hadn’t known warmth for ages sat in silence in the middle of the room. Dusty couches and chairs were strewn atop a torn up rug, the intricate patterns sewn into the fabric proving that at some point they were cared for. Taking up one corner of the room were a pair of armchairs and a small coffee table, a once perfect place to cuddle up with a good book or entertain pleasant company.

Upon the table was a small, porcelain tea cup. It’s intricately designed blue pattern stood out amongst the rest of the dusty room with is refined craftsmanship. A face had been painted on to the side, a wide smile and big eyes mimicking a cheerful expression. Most strange of all were the wisps of steam drifting up from it. Stepping closer to the tea cup, Marnie and Gloria saw a swirling, purple liquid inside.

“What do you think this is?” Gloria asked, lifting up the cup.

“I don’t know, but you probably shouldn’t be-“

Marnie stared in awestruck silence as Gloria took a sip of the mystery beverage.

“Tastes pretty good at least,” Gloria said, smacking her lips. “I think it’s some kind of tea.”

“Are you insane or just stupid?” Marnie asked, snatching the cup from her. “Who knows how long it’s been sitting in this house. You could have been poisoned.”

“But I feel fine,” Gloria said with a shrug. “Plus, it’s really good. You should try it for yourself.”

“That’s not-“

“Stop worrying so much and drink. You have to learn to live a little.”

Partly from her own exhaustion of having to deal with Gloria’s shenanigans, Marnie did find herself a little parched from roughing it through the woods. Putting the cup to her lips, she closed her eyes and took a small sip. Just a few drops graced her tongue, but it was more than enough to sate her worries. The liquid brought a sense of calm to her hectic day, encouraging her to take another sip. Letting out a relaxed sigh, she opened her eyes to see the eyes on the cup blink back at her.

With a yelp, Marnie tossed the cup across the room. Instead of shattering against the wall, the cup floated in mid-air. The purple liquid inside reached out to grasp the cup’s handle and turn the face towards the confused trainers. “Sinistea!” it chirped, bobbing up and down as it showed off its wide smile.

Marnie immediately pulled out her Pokedex and aimed it at the living tea cup. “Sinistea, the Black Tea Pokémon,” the robotic voice spouted. “This Pokémon is said to have been born when a lonely spirit possessed a cold, leftover cup of tea. It absorbs the life-force of those who drink it.”

“What does that mean?” Gloria shouted, keeping her eyes on the Pokémon.

“I don’t know, just grab it,” Marnie replied, stowing her Pokedex and making a mad dash towards the Sinistea.

The living tea cup barely escaped the girls’ grasps as it floated through the air. Recovering quickly from slamming into one another, they tried again to snatch it before it could get away. Running through the house after it, they immediately panicked as they watched it fly out the front entrance. Marnie leapt past Gloria to try one last time to grab the Sinistea, only to be sent tumbling down by a sudden pain in her legs. Landing face flat onto the porch, she looked up just in time to watch the Sinistea disappear into the fog.

“Are you okay?” Marnie heard Gloria ask from behind her.

“Y-yeah,” Marnie replied, still recovering from the fall, “but the Sinistea got away.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t know. There was this stinging pain in my leg. Like something sapped me of my strength.”

Marnie saw Gloria’s outstretched hand and grabbed it to help herself stand up. Wobbling to her feet, it took a moment for her to catch her bearings, unused to something offsetting her balance. Turning back to thank her friend for the help, she stopped as she saw a blinding streak of grey going through Gloria’s hair.

“Gloria, what happened to your hair?”

“I was just about to ask the same thing about you,” she replied, plucking a grey strand from one of Marnie’s twin tails. “And, I don’t mean to be rude, but have your thighs always been that big?

Looking down at the area where she had initially felt pain, Marnie saw extra padding around her thigh. Pressing into it confirmed it was hers, alongside bringing back an aching pain. She had been running alongside Gloria for multiple trips, but this was the first time she actually got cramps from the exercise. Fearing for the worst, she pulled out her phone and dialed up Sonia.

“Hello Marnie,” the young researcher answered. “How’s your trip to the-“

“Sonia we have a problem,” Marnie interjected. “We had a run in with a Sinistea.”

“That’s odd, they’re not usually seen in this part of the region. Were you able to catch it?”

“No. We drank some of its tea and then-“

“You drank the tea!?”

Gloria grasped Marnie’s hand and pulled the phone towards herself. “Yeah. Is that a problem?”

“The effects aren’t completely known, but there are some theories. One of which being that Sinistea can suck energy out of people. It can cause things such as weakness, slowed metabolism, and even rapid aging, but that last part has been deemed a myth.”

Marnie and Gloria looked at one another’s strands of grey hair.

“Sonia, we’re coming to the lab,” Marnie said, grabbing Gloria on the way out of the forest.

“We need you to take a look at something.”

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Two weeks had passed since Marnie and Gloria had entered the house and drank the corrupted tea. During that time, they had been camping out in the woods searching under every rock and inside every bush. Their search was ultimately fruitless, unable to see even a trace of the Sinistea that had tainted them with its vile brew. This went beyond merely getting revenge for a harmless prank. Finding the Pokémon was about getting back something dear to them that they had lost.

After hours of traversing the foggy woods, Marnie could no longer keep up with Gloria. Leaving her companion to climb up a tree for a better view, she made her way back to camp and slumped down in a chair. Pulling out her phone, she reread the notes Sonia had sent her about the Sinistea. Describing the side effects brought the professor to a conclusion that Marnie wasn’t willing to believe was real. However, over the course of the week of watching both of their bodies change, she had to accept that the legends were true.

Pulling out a hand mirror, she lamented the strands of grey that were mixed in with her black hair. Holding up one of her twin tails, she was still amazed how they could have doubled in length in such a small amount of time. However, the increase in size was not limited to just her hair as evidenced by the padding surrounding her thighs. The dress that was once cute on her was starting to show its wear and tear from her time in the woods and her body’s changes. Her once modest chest had ballooned into a pair of C-cups, which would have been more appreciated if they didn’t stretch out her dress. The added curves of her hips sucked up some of the fabric of her skirt, letting her get a feel for the start of a chubby belly around her flat-midsection.

Ignoring her sore legs and disheveled clothing for a moment, Marnie lifted the hand mirror up to her face. Looking at her reflection, she guessed she was in her late thirties or even her early forties. Tracing her finger along what was the start of wrinkles around her face, she was both amazed and furious that this was all caused by a single Pokémon.

A thrashing in the bushes got Marnie to put away her mirror. Taking a moment to get out of her camping chair, she pulled out a Pokeball at the slight chance that her target would appear. The sight of ball of white fluff peeking out filled her with a mix of relief and disappointment.

From out of the bush, Gloria came out with her formfitting outfit showing off her matured curves and numerous twigs stuck in her jacket. To make way for her buxom, D-cup breasts, she had opened up her coat to let them swing back and forth. Her run through the woods left her breathing heavily, stumbling right past Marnie to plant her wide hips in a chair. Pushing back the streaks of grey mixed in with her hair, she rested her chubby legs and placed a hand over her still beating chest.

“What were you doing out there anyway?” Marnie asked.

“Same as I’ve been doing this past week,” she replied, one hand on her wider mid-section and another wiping a bead of sweat from the lines of her forming crow’s feet. “Been running all over the woods looking for that Sinistea. After I reached the top of the tree, I saw something moving around and I leapt off after it. Turned out to just be a Skwovet.”

Fishing a water canteen out of her bag, Marnie took a small sip before handing it over to Gloria. “I know the professor said that we need to catch it in order to reverse the aging, but you need to be careful. Who knows what our bodies can handle right now.”

Graciously accepting the canteen, Gloria took a long gulp. “Well, it’s not like we’re trying to catch an everyday Rookidee. You heard Sonia, Sinistea is a rare sighting in this area. That might be the only one.” Taking another sip of water, she placed the canteen on the ground between them. “We have to give it our all before it decides to vanish into thin air.”

“I still think we should be careful about it. Ghost Pokemon in general can be tricky, especially one that can suck up life energy.”

Gloria shook her head. “You trying to act your age? We might look like our moms, but we’re still young enough to take on any challenge head on.” Picking up the canteen, she took another sip before handing it back to Marnie. “Did you put something in the water? It tastes a little funny.”

“No,” Marnie replied, taking back the canteen. Putting the container to her lips, she tasted something that was both strange and familiar. Swallowing a mouthful of the water, she peeked inside the container and saw a glimmer of purple.

“Sinistea!”

Marnie and Gloria jumped out of their seats as they turned to see the Pokémon they had been searching for hovering just a few feet behind them. Turning over the canteen, Marnie watched as a mixture of water and purple tea came trickling out onto the ground. “It did it again!” she yelled, tossing the canteen to the ground.

“Grab it!”

Again, Gloria and Marnie leapt towards the Pokémon only to succeed in slamming into one another. The impact was cushioned slightly by their curvier forms, but swift aches in their legs made them instantly regret their decision. Sprawled out on the forest floor, the pair of trainers slowly picked themselves up. Stopping to look at the scuff marks on each other’s faces, they watched as several more strands of grey appeared in their hair.

“Sinistea-tea-tea,” the Pokémon laughed, bouncing up and down to celebrate what it thought was a harmless prank. Gloria reaching a single hand out towards it was enough to send it bobbing off back into the misty woods. All that remained was the purple liquid seeping into the dirt and a few extra inches added to their hair and waistlines.

“It’s treating this like a game,” Marnie said, her body creaking as she held onto her chair to help pick herself up.

“Well, it’s not a very fun one,” Gloria replied, stumbling a bit as she tried to get her legs to remain steady.

Settling in her chair, Marnie rested her weakened legs, feeling even more tired than before. Holding up her hand, she could see that her nails were already longer than she remembered. Clenching her fist, she wondered just how much worse it could get.

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A loud ripping noise made Marnie stop dead in her tracks. After trekking through the forest for countless hours she knew what the sound meant. Carefully maneuvering her body to avoid any unnecessary stretching or cramps, she shrugged off the remnants of her jacket. The poor piece of clothing had served her well, but it had been torn apart by stray branches and the results of her changing body. It was just one of many things that had been taken from her by the Sinistea’s idea of harmless pranks.

Looking away from her tattered jacket, her gaze drifted down to her breasts, ample in their E-cup size, but lacking in posture. Without her jacket squeezed around her torso, her boobs were free to sag several inches down. The slight pudge of her belly caught the heavy mounds, the only advantage of the weight gained from her slowed metabolism. Unable to bring herself to toss the garment away, she tied what remained of her jacket around her hips, helping to cover the extra padding around her rear and the added chub around her thighs.

Jacket secured around her body, she turned to continue her walk back to camp. Her movement was stopped again by one of her twin tails swinging around and catching in the front. Grasping the errant strands in her hand, she found it harder to find more than a few black hairs mixed in with the grey. Brushing it behind her back, she felt the tip sway against her bare calves. Fixing up the stray hairs above her forehead, she inadvertently pressed her fingers against her prominent crow’s feet. She traced the wrinkles that had begun to from around her cheeks. The face lines helped cement her appearance of being around 60 years old despite only three weeks having passed since her first run in with the Sinistea.

With her appearance put into a somewhat acceptable state, she trudged through the woods back towards the campsite. Each step was a stark reminder of how tired her legs were after what should have been an easy walk. Ever since her second helping of the tainted tea, she had become less willing to trudge her way through the underbrush in favor of trails that winded between the trees. This highly limited her ability to search for the elusive Pokémon, but it was necessary to keep her legs from cramping up every few minutes.

Setting her sights on the camp site, Marnie allowed herself to let out an exhausted sigh of relief. Already planning to lounge about in a chair to rest her weary bones, her calm mood was immediately disturbed by an unwanted guest floating about their food supply. The Sinistea was busy pouring its foul, purple liquid into one of their water containers, a trick that it had played many times to accelerate their aging.

Keeping her eyes trained on Sinistea, Marnie reached for her Pokeball. She had learned from their previous encounters how slippery the little Pokémon could be. Clenching her fingers around the ball containing Morpeko, she was ready to launch a surprise attack to finally capture the malevolent prankster.

Something whizzing by her head made Marnie nearly fall over. In the center of the camp, she watched someone else’s Pokeball bounce against the dirt before releasing its contents. From a bright red flash, the unmistakable intimidating stature of a Snorlax was seen. Stomping its heavy feet into the ground, the heavyset beast opened its mouth for a roar that almost sounded like a yawn. Taking her eyes away from the lumbering giant, Marnie turned to the side, knowing who would be there.

As expected, she saw Gloria doubled over and breathing heavily with her hat a few inches away from falling off. Despite her sagging chest, pudgy waistline, and padded rear being just as cumbersome as Marnie’s, the fact that she needed to take things slow hadn’t quite registered in her head. Even with the buttons on her shirt about ready to snap and her jacket in tatters, she looked like she had charged straight through the woods without a care for her safety. Her rashness showed its toll in the way her unkempt, hair bounced against her chest, the brown and grey follicles carrying stray leaves and twigs. Wrinkles around her cheeks were more pronounced than Marnie’s, owing to her big expressions and tendency to smile. However, her cheerful attitude was nowhere to be seen, replaced with a determination that kept her eyes locked on their elusive target.

“Gloria what do you think you’re doing?”

“Ending that little prankster’s reign of terror and getting our youth back,” she replied, striking the most dynamic pose her aged body would allow. “You just watch. Snorlax is my strongest Pokémon. He’ll take care of Sinistea before you know it.”

“That’s not going to work. Snorlax is-UGH!” Marnie had to stop as a sudden cramp sent a sharp pain through her leg. Crumpling to the ground, she could only watch as her friend stepped forward to lead the battle.

“Snorlax, finish this off quick with a body slam!” Gloria shouted, hoisting up her fist and shaking the pudge clinging to her upper arm.

The hulking beast proved to be surprisingly mobile as he charged towards the Sinistea. Leaping into the air, Snorlax flattened himself out to eclipse the sun with his body. His mass came slamming down with enough force to blow away their tent and scatter the leaves from the branches of the nearby trees. Slowly picking himself up, Snorlax revealed the flattened earth beneath him, minus any sign of the malevolent tea cup.

“Sinistea-tea-tea,” the ghostly tea cup laughed from behind him, having easily dodged the massive brute.

“Go for another body slam!” Gloria commanded, hoisting up her arm with a little less energy.

Again Snorlax leapt into the sky and came slamming down on the Sinistea. Just like before, Sinistea floated away to safety as he crushed one of their camping chairs. Picking himself back up, Snorlax continued to slam his body all over the campsite in an attempt to capture the mischievous Pokémon. All that managed to do was destroy half of their supplies and put on a good show for malevolent spirit.

“I don’t understand,” Gloria said, tired just from the act of calling out attacks. “How can Snorlax keep missing?”

“Because normal type attacks don’t work on ghost Pokémon,” Marnie answered, having to shout over the sound of Snorlax crashing through a table. “Call Snorlax back and let me take care of it. Morpeko should be able to-“

“No, I can handle this!” Gloria demanded, out of breath from her constant commands. “Snorlax is my strongest Pokémon, I know he can do it.” Standing up straight, she set her eyes on the Sinistea. “Snorlax, use hyper beam!” she shouted, raising her fist only to crumple from a sudden cramp.

While his trainer was worse for wear, Snorlax heard the command loud and clear. Stomping his feet into the ground, he began sucking up air to collect energy in his mouth. Reeling backwards, he let the energy loose with a beam of yellow light aimed directly at the Sinistea.

Neither Gloria or Marnie could see what happened, only the aftermath. Amidst the wrecked campsite and beaten dirt, Snorlax stood alone. A portion of the forest had been burned clear by the attack, leaving several trees reduced to ash. The powerful attack had left Snorlax wobbling on his feet, gasping for air from his exertion. At first glance, there were no signs of Sinistea. For a moment, they both silently wondered if it had been vaporized from existence.

From out of the trees, something came flying out to slam right into the Snorlax’s chest. The impact was enough to send the brute tumbling to the ground. Giving into his exhaustion, Snorlax closed his eyes as he went unconscious. Hovering above his motionless form, Sinistea floated as its entire body began to glow. Blocking their vision from the blinding light, Gloria and Marnie looked up again to see what looked like an antique tea pot, baring the same designs of the accursed tea cup. The lid popped off to make way for a head of purple liquid to peek out and smile at the dumbfounded trainers.

“Did it just evolve?” Gloria asked.

“No, that can’t be right,” Marnie said, pulling out her Pokedex to look up information on the evolved form. “Sinistea shouldn’t be able to evolve without a specific item. How did it become a-“

“Polteageist-geist-geist!” the possessed tea pot called out.

Whirling about in the air, Polteageist aimed its spout at the awestruck trainer’s open mouths. Before Marnie could glance at the warning printed on Polteageist’s entry, it was already too late. A spout of the cursed tea spritzed into both of their mouths, assuring another increase in their aging process. Trying in vain to spit out the tea, the pair watched the Pokémon drift back into the misty woods.

“Don’t just stand there, let’s get him,” Gloria called out, only to stumble onto the ground.

“You can’t keep doing that,” Marnie reprimanded. Holding up her hair, she watched a few of her remaining black strands turn grey. “We need to be careful. I don’t know how much time we have left.”

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Carefully tying the rope around the root set the trap. It was an admittedly simple setup, using a glass of water as bait to draw in Polteageist. The plan was that as soon as the Pokémon went to taint the drink, a Pokeball suspended above would fall right onto it. If they were lucky, Polteageist would be caught and they could return to their youthful days that seemed so long ago.

Marnie’s back creaked loudly as she got back into a standing position. She carefully guided her swaying twin tailed hair as she stood up, their tips nearly reaching the ground. Holding one between her bony fingers, she grimaced at the sight of the blinding white color that had taken over her locks. Sliding her elongated nails through the pale strands, she still couldn’t believe how fast her body had aged in only three days. Although it was hard to deny the facts when looking at her body.

Letting her hair go allowed the strands to brush against her pudgy belly, the chubby protrusion peeking out between a rip in her dress. The collar of her dress had stretched out to make way for her sagging breasts, each one hanging off the side of her belly. Reaching a flabby, arm back she tried to carefully pull her skirt over her chunky butt, her pale skin and liver spots showing the wear and tear of a woman that was nearing 80. Sliding her fingers along the various wrinkles adorning her forehead, cheeks, and neck she was very aware how little time left she had to capture Polteageist. Pulling her fingers away from the deep bags under eyes, she grasped the stick she used as a makeshift walking cane and shuffled her way back to camp.

She found Gloria just where she left her. After trading shifts to setup traps, the once energetic trainer was supposed to be napping in their sole surviving chair from her Snorlax’s battle. However, the stubborn, senior trainer was still wide awake, greeting Marnie with a weak wave as she kept her eyes trained on the woods on the off chance she would see Polteageist.

The aging effects had hit Gloria just as hard as Marnie, if not harder due to her insistence of pushing her weakened form to its limits. Despite her constant efforts, that didn’t stop a pudgy potbelly from taking up her mid-section. Her woolen jacket long abandoned after countless rips and tears, she was down to just her blouse, with several buttons devoted to keeping her drooping bosom somewhat in control. Varicose veins could be seen spread across her bare, pale legs shifting alongside her pudge as she nervously shifted her padded rear against the seat.

Upon hearing Marnie’s stick break open a twig Gloria turned towards her, chest-length mop of white hair partially obscuring her face. Brushing aside the wispy locks and stuffing them into her worn-out hat, she showed the various wrinkles that covered her face. Most notable were the lines drawn around her cheeks that came from her constant smiling before her latest change. Now though, the wrinkles just served as a reminder of a time when they had a better chance of regaining what was lost.

“Did you see it?” Gloria asked, her scratchy voice holding only a fraction of her usual enthusiasm.

“No, but the traps are set,” Marnie responded in a similarly crone-like voice. “All we can do is wait.” Stopping near a tree, Marnie carefully lowered herself down to avoid damaging her brittle bones. “More importantly, why are you still awake? I told you that you needed to rest.”

Gloria let out an annoyed huff. “You honestly expect me to sleep the day away like an old hag while that thing is still out there? Sitting on my butt isn’t going to help us find it any faster.”

“I understand how you feel, but you won’t help anyone if you’re sprawled out on the ground because of a sprained ankle or broken hip. We’re not young anymore. We have to be careful to not waste what little time we have left.”

Biting her lip, Gloria slowly got up from her feet and started shuffling towards the trees.

“Where are you going?” Marnie asked, already grasping her walking stick.

“Back to look through the forest. You said it yourself that those traps are a long shot. The only way we’ll make progress is if I go out and do some legwork.”

“I told you,” Marnie said, grunting as she got back on her feet, “we can’t do that. You push your body too far and I might not be strong enough to help you.”

“Then don’t worry about me. Just let me search by myself.”

Marnie ignored her creaking joints to step in front of Gloria’s path. “I can’t let you do that.”

Gloria pushed into her friend, ripping another tear in both of their clothing. “Let me through Marnie.”

“No,” she replied, dropping her walking stick to grasp Gloria’s wrists. “I’m not going to let your kill yourself out there.”

Pushing back a little harder, Gloria tried to escape her friend’s hold. “If I don’t do anything at all, we’ll both be dead before the end of the week.”

Feeling Gloria push back, Marnie exerted her weakened muscles to bring them both to the ground. Amidst the rustling of fallen leaves and their creaking joints, the pair continued to struggle against one another.

“Why are you like this?” Marnie asked, gritting her teeth as Gloria’s kneed her in her stomach pudge.

“You call me your friend and you still have to ask that, you old geezer?” Gloria shot back.

“I do know you, but you’ve never been this reckless. Why are you so willing to push yourself so hard?”

“Because it’s my fault we’re like this!”

Gloria’s shout made them both stop dead still. Slowly Marnie released Gloria’s arms and rolled off of her. Looking back to her friend, she saw tears starting to stream down the lines on her face.

“If it wasn’t for me…we wouldn’t be like this,” Gloria said clenching her fists. “You tried to tell me to stop. You warned me it could be dangerous, but I’m the idiot who didn’t listen.” She paused to wipe away the tears dripping down her cheeks. “After all that talk about enjoying our youth, I went and wasted it away with my stupid decisions. Even worse, everything I’ve tried to do to fix things just screwed us up even more.” Unable to contain herself any more, she buried her head in her arms and let he tears flow freely.

Shuffling along the ground, Marnie wrapped her arms around Gloria. “You made a mistake, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be fixed. It was my decision to follow you into the house and it’s by my own free will that I’ve stuck with you during this ordeal. Gloria, you’ve been my friend for what feels like decades. We might be in our sunset years, but I don’t regret getting to spend that time with you.”

With a sniffle, Gloria peeked her head up. “You mean it?”

“Of course. I know we’ll get through this, but we have to do it together. Is that a promise?”

A small smile crept across Gloria’s wrinkled face. “Promise,” she said, leaning forward to return the hug with her own, nearly breaking Marnie’s back in the process.

Something snapping nearby made them both turn their heads back towards the forest. A flash of red light in the trees similar to a Pokeball going off made them stagger to their feet and move as fast as their decrepit bodies would allow. Climbing over stray roots, they arrived just in time to see one of their traps had sprung. The Pokeball rolled along the ground, the creature inside struggling to escape. They only exhaled once the light turned off and the ball remained motionless.

Neither trainer moved towards the ball, on the off chance Polteageist was using it as a trap. Very carefully, they both pulled out their Pokedexes and aimed it at the captured Pokémon. Anxiety gripped them as their devices read the data inside. Seeing the image of Polteageist spring up on the screen, Marnie showed off her rare smile and let Gloria pull her into another hug.

“We did it! We did it!” Gloria shouted.

“I know, I know, you don’t have to yell my ear off. My hearing is bad enough as it is,” Marnie replied. “Although, I don’t remember if I set that trap or not. Who knows which one of us caught it.”

“Who cares? All that’s important is that we got the little trickster and we can be young again. Phone up Sonia and tell her the good news.”

Slipping out of Gloria’s grasp, Marnie pulled up her phone and tapped her bony fingers away at the screen as fast as she could. “Sonia,” she said, putting the professor on speaker phone, “we did it. We caught the Polteageist.”

“That’s excellent news,” Sonia replied on the other end of the line. “Just in time too, I just figured out the method needed to reverse the aging effects.”

“Well don’t keep us waiting,” Gloria butted in, regaining some of her youthful energy, “tell us how soon we can stop being senior citizens.”

“About that…”

An unsettling silence filled the area.

“Sonia,” Marnie spoke, “what’s going on? Can’t you reverse our aging?”

“I can, but…”

“But what?” Gloria asked, shaking the phone in Marnie’s hands.

“Well, I can reverse the process, but it requires all of the energy that Polteageist has stored. There will only be enough to turn one of you back.”

Marnie bit her lip. “Sonia, if this is some kind of joke-“

“It’s not!” the professor shouted. “I’m afraid it’s our only option. You’ll have to decide which one of you will go back to normal.”

A dead silence pervaded the misty area. Slowly Gloria released Marnie’s hand. Devoid of any of her former levity, she opened her mouth.

“No,” Marnie stated.

“But I-“

“I said no,” Marnie repeated to Gloria. “If you just give it to me, I won’t be able to live with myself.”

“It’s my fault though. Let me make up for it.”

“That wouldn’t be fair to you though.”

Gloria pulled off her hat and slammed it onto the ground. “Then how else do we decide it?”

Marnie showed off a confident grin. “The only way trainers like us know how.”

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Stepping in front of the locker room mirror, Marnie tried to memorize the image of her nude, aged up body. She detested her pale skin, liver spots, chubby belly, and sagging breasts, but she knew that this might be the last time she would see herself like this for many years. Holding one of her tails of hair in her hands, the sight of black mixed in with the grey showed that her body had regained some of her youth. The glimmer of hope was extinguished by the thought that any further changes would require the full strength of Polteageist, dooming either Gloria or herself to be stuck in their elderly state.

Pushing her concerns to the side, Marnie turned to a more immediate problem. Taking her trainer uniform off the rack, she sucked in her gut as she squeezed the top down her torso. Her drooping breasts regained some of their form from the tight shirt, at the cost of leaving her pudgy belly on display. Putting on her shorts turned out to be just as difficult, if not worse. Each tug of the tight fabric over her sore legs brought a slight pain to her aching bones. Barely fitting the shorts over her hips, she peeked back at her ridiculous reflection in the mirror. Bemoaning the fact that their need to rush putting together an official match left no time to acquire more fitting uniforms, Marnie double-checked her Pokeballs and exited the locker room.

Walking out onto the field, she reminisced about the blood pumping battles she had experienced in this stadium. Despite her odd appearance, the crowd was still alive with excitement of seeing her skills. This was especially true considering the stakes of the battle and who her opponent was.

Arriving at the center of the field around the same time as Marnie, Gloria hobbled up looking just as haggard. Like Marnie, her unfit uniform didn’t do any favors in the way it put front and center her pendulum-like breasts, chubby waistline, and cellulite-covered thighs. Upon seeing Marnie reach her, she managed to force a smile on her wrinkled face. Pushing back her locks of brown and grey hair she stepped up to meet her, her smile wavering as she glanced at Marnie’s shaking legs.

“Marnie…are you sure you want to do this?”

Marnie let out a sigh as she pulled out her first Pokeball. “Yes, I’m sure. I wouldn’t feel right about you just giving away Polteageist. I’d be young again, but I couldn’t bear to watch you suffer alone. It’s better this way.”

“If you say so,” Gloria replied lowering her head as she pulled out her Pokeball.

“Don’t be so gloomy,” Marnie said with a smile to curl the wrinkles on her cheeks. “When this is over, we’ll still be friends. One us will just be a bit wiser, in both age and fighting skill. Now come on, I don’t want you going easy on me.”

Gloria mirrored Marnie’s expression. “Wasn’t planning on it.”

Shaking each other’s hands, the old women shuffled to their starting points. The announcer came up on the loudspeaker, hyping up the skills and stakes of the two trainers’ battle. With the crowd properly riled up, the announcer began counting down. Reaching zero, the buzzer sounded to start the match.

A pair of loud cracks echoed through the stadium. The crowd’s enthusiasm was dampened by the sight of Gloria and Marnie crumpled over in pain from overextending their throwing arms. Watching from the balcony seats, Sonia could only wince as she watched the two trainers try to recover from the pain.

“I can only pray I’m not like that when I reach their age.”

Turning around, Sonia saw Professor Magnolia standing behind her. “Professor? What are you doing here?”

“Same as you,” the old professor replied, taking her seat. “I wanted to see the fight.” Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a Pokeball and handed it out towards Sonia. “That and I thought you might want this.”

“What is it?”

“When I heard about their peculiar predicament, I recalled some research notes sent to me by another young trainer in the region. I phoned him up and he just so happened to have a captured a Polteageist that matched the markings of the one they encountered.”

“This is great!” Sonia said, clutching onto the ball for dear life. “Should we stop the match?”

“No, let them fight it out,” Magnolia replied, watching the trainers summon the strength to gently bounce their Pokeballs out onto the field. “We’ll tell them about the other Polteageist after the match. It’s rare that you get to see two friends give it their all in battle. Should be something truly worthy of reminiscing about when they reach this age again.”

#eyebeast #undeadpenguin37 #pokemon #gloria #marnie #female #ap #aging #age progression #weight gain #wg #tf #transformation

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caspian-skye · 4 years

Text

The Apoptosis Project Ch.8, Making a Statement

“Twenty-five years after Salem's defeat, twins Caspian and Lazula Skye are finally of age to attend their father's academy; just in time for the Creatures of Grimm to return. While fighting the revived horror alongside Frontline Biomedical's controversial Organic Androids, they begin to unravel a web of secrets ensnaring more than they could have ever known.”

"Okay, let's go ahead and get started for the day!" Professor Corvis-Braun began eagerly. Caspian looked to the lecture hall's stage, where Lilly's mother peeked over the podium. Whenever Caspian had seen the diminutive, feathery-haired woman in the past, she wore some stylish mixture of cardigan, blazer, skirt, sweater, vest, and tights. Her outfit never strayed away from moody hues of black, white, midnight blue, and silver. Apparently, her work attire was no exception.

"Welcome to your first day of Interspecies History!" the professor announced. A pair of dark eyes flicked to the full rows of long, rounded tables forming eight half-circles up to the back of the room. "I'm Professor Corvis-Braun, but you can call me Professor Corvis if it's easier. Or Professor Braun, I love my husband. This class has the reputation of being a bit dry, especially at a school that teaches Grimm Studies and Practical Weapons Training. But! It's important. Plus, every year I've had a handful of students that really take to this class, so that might end up being you!" She took a sip from her water before continuing. "This is a special year for me, because my own daughter happens to be in this room! I won't call her out, but-"

Lilly smiled and turned, waving to the rows behind her.

"Oh! Well then, that's her," Professor Corvis confirmed above a chorus of laughter and "aww"-s. "Anyway, though faunus are equal in law now, and a big city like this sees very little overt racism, we're living in quite an important time right now. Can anyone tell me why this class has become so relevant?"

After several seconds, she pointed to a hand toward the back of the room.

"The Red Claw?"

Professor Corvis-Braun pulled back a bit in surprise. "Yes! I mean, that wasn't the answer I was looking for, but that's an important issue we'll cover in depth starting next week. Any other answers? Good answer, by the way."

At the furthest section of the room, a few rows back, Noxis raised his hand. Professor Corvis called on him.

"I wouldn't count them as a species," Noxis began, leaning back in his chair. "But are you talking about Organds?"

By the end of his first lecture at Sentinel, Caspian's wrist burned from writing, and his stomach was empty. The beginning of class saw a quick, broad overview of course content, which eventually shifted into administrative and logistic details of the class. Professor Corvis finished with a minute to spare, just as the zipping and shuffling of all the backpacks in the room began to drown her out.

Caspian clutched his stomach. "Man, I'm hungry. After Grimm Studies, you guys wanna meet at The Roots?"

"I'm down. I'll ask Ichigo," Rowan agreed.

"I suppose I'll stop by for a bit," Lilly said. "I'm meeting a new friend later this afternoon, though."

Unease crept into Caspian's mind. A new friend...

"Want to come to The Roots after next class?" Caspian typed into his Holoband. He looked across the room.

Noxis flashed his Holoband's screen, looking at it for a few seconds. He shut it off, slung his bag over a shoulder, and made his way out the door.

As Cedar Hall, Sentinel's first-year dormitory building, was built into the side of the steep hill holding the academy above the bay, The Roots Cafe was below ground level on one side, but well above the street on the other. One wall was almost entirely windows, revealing the impressive view from shopping center to the North, to the flat tract of land across the street that held the SFC, sports fields and sparring courts to the South. Looming furthest away, against a backdrop of skyscrapers and sea, was Sentinel Stadium.

The Roots itself was quite cozy, Caspian thought. The side furthest from the windows was a winding maze of counters and kiosks. It got fairly busy at dinner, but the food seemed decent so far, a selection from all over Remnant. Toward the windows, comfortable booths and tables in many shades of brown found space among gently curving half-walls and wooden pillars. At each end of the cafeteria was a near-abstract mural of huntsmen and Grimm.

The day after initiation, Rowan found a round table nestled in a half-circle alcove facing the window. Every meal since, he had refused to sit anywhere else.

"The flesh of Frontline Biomedical Technology's Organic Androids is created from human stem cells. The 'organic components,' as they are called, are mounted onto a titanium alloy and carbon-fiber frame, making Organic Androids nearly indistinguishable from humans," Caspian read. "Though they look much like us, what would be their brain is actually called a 'Brain-Core System.' The 'core,' in the android's chest, handles power and low-level internal functioning. The 'brain,' in the android's head, allows for higher-level processing. However, it should be noted both brain and core are incapable of thought and emotion."

Caspian looked up to Lilly expectantly.

"I see..." she pondered. "I think you do a wonderful job of setting up the issue, and differentiating between Organd and human. However, I fail to see the main point of your paper. I believe it would be helpful if you transitioned into your main point from what you have now." She looked to him. "Do you have any ideas?"

Caspian pursed his lips. "Hmm... I guess, I'll talk about how people generally respect Frontline because of its medical advancements, but there's a lot of distrust toward Organds." He looked up from his screen. "People don't like things that look so human and... aren't."

"Why'd your mom have to go and assign a paper on the first day of class?" Rowan complained. "Always seemed like a nice lady, but that's just cruel."

Lilly's lips drew up in a muted smile of amusement. "It's only two to three pages, and is worth a very small portion of your grade," she reminded. "This is more a measure of your starting point than anything. Have you started?"

"It's due Monday, right?"

"Yes."

"Nope. I think I'll start Saturday. Maybe Sunday," Rowan responded. He tore into his sandwich.

"I think I'll distinguish between combat models and companion models too, because their internal coding and ability to fight is different enough to note," Caspian commented, leaning into his laptop. He struggled to type a few words with his left hand, his right still wrapped up in a sling. "Writing an essay is hard enough with two functional hands."

"What about third gen Organds?" Ichigo inquired.

"They're not out yet. I might mention them, but I don't think I know enough to say much about them..."

Rowan raised a finger, gulping down an ambitious bite of his lunch. "You hear that the third gen ones are gonna be able to eat? Isn't that weird?"

"They can't digest though, what happens to the food?" Ichigo questioned.

"Damn, good question," Rowan admitted. He flicked on his Holoband, typing up a search.

"We're eating," Lilly reminded. "Perhaps we should leave this question for later?"

"...So who's the new friend, Lilly?" Caspian asked, attempting to pass off his budding jealousy as innocent curiosity.

Lilly smiled gently. "Her name is Aspen. She's a second-year, we happened to run into each other when I was exploring the campus libraries."

Good. A girl.

Lilly looked down to her Holoband in surprise, and switched it on. "Oh, that's her right now!" she announced. She dabbed at her lips with a napkin, and shuffled across the half-circle booth until she was free of the table.

"I'll see you later!" Caspian bid with a grin.

Lilly waved, and was on her way.

"Y'know, one of these days it won't be a girl!" Rowan chided.

Caspian balled a napkin in his fist. "I know..."

"When are you gonna make your move? Sentinel's full of dudes. I'm just trying to help you along! You've got that 'childhood friend' thing going for you, but-"

"Can we please talk about anything else?"

Sentinel's dorms were a rough transition for Lazula. She had grown so used to her plush bed, giant bathtub in a bathroom with marble floor and golden faucets, and gourmet food whenever she liked. Now in the land of shared showers, standard-issue mattresses, and long lines in The Roots, at least getting up for her morning routine was easier.

Only a few days in, Lazula fell into her routine. Every morning, she would wake exactly at six. She would grab a healthy bite, and run the trail around Sentinel's campus. The loop was almost exactly two miles, so would take eleven or twelve minutes. Then to the Student Fitness Center right as it opened, when no one was around to gawk at her, or the weight she put on bar and machine alike. She would be back before nine to shower and take a second breakfast, making it just in time for her first class.

Classes had just concluded for the day, so the SFC was a bit more crowded than usual. Lazula walked up to the front desk, nodding to the attendant as she neared.

"Where can I find the Sparring Team?" she asked. "I heard there's a meeting here today."

"Oh, that would be..." the student at the front desk began. He keyed a search into the computer. "Room 202. Right up those stairs, first court on the left."

"Thanks." Raising her wrist up to the sensor, her Holoband pulsed once with vibration, and the hard-light door allowed her through. She went to the locker room first, donning her combat attire in its entirety before continuing onto room 202.

"As is the case every year, let's start by talking recruitment," a young man's voice declared from behind the door. Strong, but friendly. Lazula had heard the voice before. "Cole is already working on designing flyers, and I'd like to start handing them out in front of the library starting next week. I'll also ask the Headmaster if-"

The door shut loudly behind Lazula, drawing everyone's eyes to her. One hand rested on Impetus's hilt as Lazula locked eyes with the man, cocking her head back ever slightly.

"I challenge you to a duel."

He cracked a grin. The same impossibly white, straight-toothed smile that decorated Sentinel's promotional material, and advertisements for countless brands having nothing to do with huntsmen. His hair was styled just as neat as the pictures, a close shave on the sides and back of his head, with hair in front and top swept to the side in golden waves, one unruly lock drooping to his brow. She had never realized how thoroughly dark his eyes were.

"And here I was, wondering how long I should wait for you to settle in before challenging you," Midas welcomed. "I admire your initiative."

"I'm a twelve-time tournament champion at a new school with some of the strongest huntsmen in Vale," Lazula reminded. "It only makes sense I challenge the very strongest one here, and beat him."

Midas's smile continued. "Well, then. I accept your challenge."

Lazula drew Impetus from its sheath, positioning her feet and staring down her opponent.

"...After our warm-ups, of course!"

Lazula's shoulders sunk, and she sheathed her blade.

"Sure."

After a quick jog down to the water's edge and back, and a bit of dynamic stretching, Lazula and the rest of the Sparring Team returned to their room in the SFC. She had been sizing up Midas from the moment she agreed to warm up. She knew he fought with Resplendence, a halberd that unfolded into a bow, and channeled the electricity Midas produced with his semblance. He was well built but still looked nimble, and kept up with her on the run down to the water. He had a height advantage of over half a foot.

"By default, Sparring Team matches use a safety parameter of twenty percent. Is that alright?" Midas asked.

"Seems fair."

"Good." Midas pinched the screen he projected from his Holoband and flicked it upward. It hit a strange metallic structure suspended from the ceiling, and two screens flashed above the pair, displaying their names, pictures, and aura level.

Midas and Lazula took their places at opposing ends of the court. "It's too bad we're inside," Lazula said. "I'll have to hold back a bit if I don't want to break something."

Midas grinned. "I can hold back too! It's only fair."

Lazula shook her head. "That won't be necessary."

The excited buzz of the room quieted as a girl in robes of silvery blue stepped between them. "This is an impromptu sparring match between Team Captain Midas Baine, and challenger Lazula Skye," she announced. "The first combatant to decrease their enemy's aura level to twenty percent, or the combatant with highest aura level after five minutes, will be declared winner." She turned to Midas, then Lazula. "The match will begin after a ten second countdown."

As the clock began to count down, Lazula unsheathed Impetus, hearing the familiar, comforting sound of steel leaving its sheath. She pointed it at the ready, lowering her head.

As soon as she heard the tone, Lazula tore toward Midas. He stood his ground, halberd at the ready. Lazula smirked. "People should know by now that some attacks are just too strong to parry," she thought. She swung her blade across her body, but slashed through air.

Midas had spun around the side of her attack, and she felt a heavy strike down her back. Before she could turn, Midas spun his weapon and jabbed her spine, flinging her forward as she yelped with surprise and pain.

No one had hit her like that in a while, she recalled. Her first tournament? Or was it the second, over in Vacuo? It didn't matter now.

"No way! Look at her aura!" a voice called from the crowd.

"Ninety-five percent?! After a hit like that?"

She ducked under a slash parallel to the floor, pivoting into Midas and springing up with a vicious bash by Aegis. She slashed twice as he was knocked off balance, but her third swing was met by the shaft of his weapon. Cracking a grin, Midas channeled electricity down the length of his arm and into his weapon.

Lazula ripped Impetus away just as electricity began to course its way into Resplendence. She flung his weapon away and met him with an elbow to the chestplate before spinning and knocking him back with her shield. Midas slid backward, and used the distance between them to transform his weapon into a bow. He drew as Lazula ran forward, but at the last minute lowered his shot and let fly a bolt of lightning into Lazula's boots.

Electricity crackled across the ground as Lazula leapt over the attack, and crashed down on Midas with her blade. As his weapon rose to meet hers she channeled her semblance, taking his resistance into her own swing and amplifying it. Resplendence gave way, and Lazula slashed across his chest.

Midas's recovery was impressive. By the time Lazula swung back at him, he regained focus and parried her strike. A second and a third attack were met as well. Lazula took a split second to drop back and regain her focus before lunging at the golden-haired huntsman once more. "He's faster than me," Lazula realized. No matter how quickly she attacked, Midas's spinning of body and weapon alike caught her blade and tossed it back.

Finally, Impetus swung into Resplendence's axehead. Midas grinned, twisting his weapon until her blade was locked in his. Electricity crackled around him once more as Lazula attempted to rip her weapon free to no avail. She felt heat on her hands, then a seizing of her muscles, as if some searing entity inside of her arm controlled it from within. She let go of Impetus, and the Sparring Team scattered as the blade was flung their way. Midas turned and brought the head of Resplendence down on his unarmed foe.

Lazula blocked the attack with Aegis. Channeling as much of her semblance as she deemed safe, she wrenched her arm outward. Midas's armor crushed with the weight of her blow. He was flung back, providing Lazula an opening to retrieve Impetus.

She eyed the screen above her as she picked up her blade. She had been hit a few more times since, but her aura was still above ninety percent. Midas's hovered just over forty. The huntsman panted at the far side of the room, shoulders hunched. Letting out one last breath, he straightened and transformed Resplendence back into a bow.

Lazula raised Aegis to block a lightning bolt, then a second. She ran forward, keeping an eye out for more as she approached. She and Midas were locked in combat for several more seconds, before Midas ducked under one of her swings, and spun on the floor in an attempt to sweep her feet from under her.

Lazula buried Impetus's tip, vaulting over Midas's attack. She took its force into her blade and channeled it into her legs, blasting Midas with a potent kick to the gut. He rolled into the nearest wall, losing Resplendence. Lazula jumped after him, finishing their fight with a final strike.

The Sparring Team broke into hoots and cheers of excitement. With one foot on the ground, Lazula stepped on Midas's chestplate, bringing Impetus's tip dangerously close to his throat.

Her triumphant glare softened. She sheathed her weapon and extended a hand.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" she asked as Midas took her hand. "That last hit was a bit much for how much aura you had left."

Midas met her worry with an easy smile as he walked over to grab Resplendence. "No need to worry about me, I'm durable!"

Lazula huffed in amusement. "You're not bad. That was fun." She looked to the crowd that began to fill the sparring court, then back to Midas. "How do I join the team?"

Midas shook his head with another smile.

"After a fight like that, you're in."

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livelove101-blog1 · 4 years

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