#plus you never see the full tags & clearly from my postings they serve as the single most important part of a post

[derpinette]

sometimes i will get bored & go through someone's entire blog since its creation

[anasticep]

Why Julie and the Phantoms is a masterpiece of a show. Part 2. Heroes and Villains or Let that foil shine

NOTE: Thanks again for your kind response to Part 1. I never expected that. It being my first tumblr post and a first meta in quite a long time I was blown away. I read all the tags, some were really hilarious. About having more than one brain cell xDDD I laughed so hard. It means a lot.

NOTE2: Please remember that the gifs are made by me, so don't crop, edit or give as yours.

Part 1.

Before diving into meta, I have to mention that the Villain of the story is actually one of the best in the decade. He’s cool, evil from the start, we understand his motives and we certainly are not supposed to love and make excuses for him. The writers made sure of that. So back to the main topic.

A foil is a character who contrasts with another character; typically, a character who contrasts with the protagonist, in order to better highlight or differentiate certain qualities of the protagonist

Foils in literature are not necessarily antagonists. A friend can be a foil or sometimes even a thing, a song. Whatever can make a good and real contrast to the protagonist. But it’s not very simple to use this author’s device and not fall down a deep hole. Because you have to make sure you did just the right amount of work to make it understandable for a reader, the things you want to contrast are definitely there and still you don't waste a character. On TV it can be even harder given limited air time. And, well, I don’t come across this device being used in full very often nowadays. It’s usually good and evil fighting for the plot. That’s why I personally appreciate JaTP so much.

Caleb is clearly a foil to Luke. As much as I’d love to say that Julie also has one, that’s not entirely true, at least not this season. Carrie is not her foil though it may seem so, and I really think that’s cool as Julie’s journey is being presented through her own demons and I'm going to cover that next. That being said, of course Caleb doubles as an antagonist plotwise, but I personally consider him being written more as a contract to Luke so we could see and appreciate his character and journey better.

1. Origins

Caleb and Luke have extremely similar backgrounds. They are both natural performers. They know how to deliver, because c’mon, “Now or Never” is something and so is “The other side of Hollywood”. Stage is their natural habitat, their element, power. Although they channel this power from completely different places.

Let’s start with our little ball of energy. It’s emphasized TWICE that he doesn’t care about the money aka the physical side of art.

All Luke wants is to make music. Connect with people. He is so happy just to be heard despite him loving to perform. Making music is what makes him feel alive and basically that’s enough. I think if there was no “hologram” magic at all, Luke would have still been extremely happy to make music with and for Julie. Because that’s the way he is.

But Caleb doesn’t know that. He knows, and I’m standing by that, right away that Luke is the one to aim at. Because we always feel the similarity in people. If Luke said yes, Reggie and Alex would have followed. So Caleb recognizes the passion and shoots at them what he thinks is appealing. And, oh boy, he delivers.

“The Other Side of Hollywood” is a perfect song to emphasize Luke and Caleb being foils for each other. Follow me here:

But these lines come from very different places. For Caleb the only thing that matters is himself. He owns the show, he IS the show. It’s about being famous, drowning in applause, admiration. Look at how he performs. Confident, yes, but still very much in control. He must keep his perfect face. No flaws, no real emotions, no real connection (Did you miss ME? I did too // This band is back). Whereas Luke is simply living the best time of his life each time he performs. Is it just jamming? Bring it on. Doing fun riffs? He’s all for it. He doesn’t care how he looks (though who could deny gorgeous sweaty Luke), he owns the show just because he is a natural.

So back to the business. Caleb immediately puts the boys in his own shoes:

On the other side we live like kings // Your soulprint on the walk of fame on the boulevard of your wildest dreams // I got your glamour, got your gold, got all you’ll ever need

And, I mean, he is not that wrong. You can see the appeal on the boys’ faces. They are young, passionate, handsome, talented musicians. Of course they wouldn’t deny fame. Of course they would want all that to some extent. And Caleb is very sure he pulled the right strings.

Watch me make a move, I’m your number one choice

Also I have to mention, as we are talking about TOSOH (IKEA name again) and it being a foil for Luke, thy lyrics still don’t forget about what is important for Reggie and Alex (we’ll talk about that just a bit later):

Welcome to the brotherhood -> Reggie

Where you won’t be misunderstood -> Alex

Then again, lots of foreshadowing in the song, if you listen carefully the lyrics are stressing the true colors of the offer:

A tomb with a view

Man, what a metaphor. I would have run out of there the minute I heard this line. But our boys share one brain cell (I can’t get over how funny this is) and it’s currently taken by Julie, so I don’t blame them.

Disappointment is huge. Caleb read it all wrong. So we are moving to the next point in our Heroes and Villains essay.

2. Recruitment

It’s very cool that Caleb offers the boys to join his band right after Luke offers Julie to join Sunset Curve. They both are going out of their ways to get that (although have different budgets apparently. But look, they live in a garage). Luke made a hit with a bunch of Julie’s not very well structured lines (I love Flying Solo with all my heart as a song, but as a poem it just looks weird to me) to impress her, and we all saw the show Caleb had thrown to impress the boys. Plus food. And fancy dancing. But here is where contrast comes again.

Caleb offers to join the band, yes, but only as backup singers. It’s his show, remember? It’s only about him. He doesn’t care if they are even good. He wants their magic under control.

Share the spotlight with ME / How do you like MY new band?!

Luke offering Julie a spot in the band is a completely different story. He saw what she is capable of. He instantly knows she must be the key to a new sound, a new level. And he, a natural performer, frontman, lead guitarist, steps back and gives the spotlight to Julie. To think about it, he could have just got her magic under control by giving her simple lines, incorporating piano in the songs and that’s all. They would be visible, he would still be a center of attention, and Julie herself wouldn't mind that much. But that’s not who Luke is. Yes, there is a funny scene of “Hey, I’m your lead singer” and “you don’t have to be mean”, but it’s just messing around. Because right after that he finishes Flying Solo, writes several other songs with Julie, seeks her approval of Sunset Curve songs and basically follows her around like an adorable excited puppy.

Moving on and back to the rejection. Again the writers are mirroring them. Julie quits the band & the boys decline the offer. What does Luke do? Well, he tries the way he knows: books a gig, makes Reggie and Alex sing in perfect harmonies and does his puppy eyes thing. And it doesn’t work. And Luke goes to reflect and then probably try to come up with a plan. But something tells me he would not have haunted Julie until she joined them.

What does Caleb do after the initial rejection? Puts a cursed stamp that leaves them no choice but to join HGC. You don’t need to say more.

But in fact the more I think about it, the more I suspect Caleb also not possessing enough mental capacity for a human being. Like, if it wasn’t for Willie, how would they even know? Has Caleb planned to simply show up one day and casually explain? Look, foils in everything.

“You’re in a tough spot… So, you wanna join the band?” | “Looked like it hurt… you know where to find me”

But we sidestepped a bit.

3. Pulling the strings

After the song Caleb comes out to consolidate his success. What he does is clever and, btw, that’s the only time he becomes Julie’s foil. They are stating basically the same thing.

Again, Julie is concerned about the band and the boys, while Caleb is only concerned about having them under control. But they both are pulling basically the right strings.

What is interesting, Caleb actually impressed the wrong person (and that person is our sweet Reggie). Luke follows the string Julie pulled. Although the offer is tempting, he insists twice that they are in a band already directly to Caleb and then in Eats&Beats he says "It's like Julie said, we have a new band, a new sound». No matter what Caleb promised, Luke is not affected at all although Caleb’s offer is a very-very safe choice.

Speaking about using friends as foils, Alex and Reggie also serve as contrast characters for Luke at some points. Luke’s indifference to money is first stressed through Alex who is clearly the chief accountant for the band. His lines about not getting tips, living in a garage and «it’s a little bit about the money» are waved aside by Luke. Reggie is clearly the most affected by the whole Bobbie thing. His lines «I don’t care what Julie said, I’m glad we scared Bobbie», «So we’re gonna forget about getting back at Trevor?» are getting a clear contrast by Luke’s «It’s what Julie said, we have a new band, a new sound» and «He has to live with that guilt».

While editing the article I realised a very cool thing I haven't noticed before. How badly Luke wants to go on tour. And again that's another thing Caleb offers as if reading his mind. That's actually brilliant, to think about it.

Caleb is a VERY good reader. He tests the waters with a speech about disappearing from stage and going around the world and all dreams coming true. Still he doesn’t know the boys and especially Luke, so his phrase “no real connection” doesn’t register that much.

But he learns. Remember the lines I’ve marked before?

Reggie is afraid they will not be together after they cross over. He is in desperate need of a family. So wouldn’t it be nice to spend the rest of your afterlife with your brothers? (Reggie's main insecurity is loneliness, feel of a broken family. That's why he is the most concerned about crossing over. Will his family stay intact?)

Alex is insecure, and not being understood by the people closest to him will always hit hard. So welcome to a place where you won’t be misunderstood. And actually we know there is a guy you like and find comfort in. (Alex's insecurity is growing up in times when he could not truly be himself even with his family and for sure not believing he would ever be able to find someone meant just for him)

That mirrors the whole Luke’s beach speech perfectly. Only comparing them we can truly appreciate why Luke is the leader. He shuts down his own demons to make Alex and Reggie remember that they are not alone (“and I believe in you”. sorry. Olicity fan).

Caleb makes them suffer to get what he wants. But this time he is careful with the words aimed at Luke. Yes, he repeats his words about vanishing and applauses BUT he makes sure that his words about CONNECTION are the key words for Luke. Intense look, calming voice, touching - these are all elements of hypnosis. And Luke is in a daze. (Continuing the parents' thing, for Luke the main insecurity is not managing to connect with his mom. Maybe that's such a big thing for him: through all these people he wanted to find that connection with her)

4. The Hero’s journey

That’s the best part actually but I won’t be saying anything new or that you don’t know. Luke is made of lyrics and music. That’s his soul, heart, that’s the feeling running through his veins. He doesn’t need anything other than that in his life. Playing for eternity is “a gift no musician would ever turn down���. But he actually does turn it down. As well as his dream to go see the world with his band (is there covid in jatp universe?). He is the one who resists the hardest to the pull. Luke, who always has a guitar in his hands, doesn't want to play. Because it’s not only about the music now. He has this amazing girl in his afterlife who was willing to accept them for who they were, helped Luke battle his own demons, eased his pain and made him open up. And it doesn’t make sense any longer without her anymore. “And you’re a part of me now till eternity”.

Caleb, being Luke’s foil, completely misses the whole point of connection. It’s not in his nature. His house band are just recruits (Just so happens you’re in luck we’ve got a vacancy). For Luke his band is his family (We are the only family we ever gonna need). The Connection theme is one of the main in the show. And it’s so cool to show it focused through Luke whose best way of interaction is a touch. But not being able to touch Julie Luke has to find other ways, although it’s not that simple for him. And Julie backs that up: We connect in so many other ways. They literally touched each other's souls. Without knowing she put a stamp of her own on Luke, Alex and Reggie. They’ve never felt loved enough, appreciated enough, supported enough. They’ve only had each other. And Julie’s stamp is love. And for Luke (as well as Reggie and Alex) from now on this girl is worth dying for all over again.

_______

So yeah. I hope you enjoyed it, as I for sure enjoyed writing. There is gonna be a part 3 about Julie and a few honorable mentions of parallels of the Pilot and the Finale (I hope at least to do all that). I’ve also figured very very cool connections in the songs and I can’t wait to share.

Also as I was heavily speaking about The Other side of Hollywood, @catty-words has a wonderful meta on rain metaphors here (sorry for tagging, if you don't want to be tagged), check it out if you somehow missed it. It's super clever.

[haik-choo]

fic tag game!

rules: talk about a fav fic you’ve written!

grassy ass @c0wisland for tagging me! 

i’m gonna tag @karasunology but i don’t have many other writer friends so -- 

the haikyuu boys’ toxic traits is OBVIOUSLY my favorite post! it includes character analysis so ofc it’s my favorite, but I’m gonna do was aelia did and just talk about why I did what for each character! the little things karasuno does is also up there! 

oikawa tooru’s toxic trait is connected to the canon of his gf breaking up with him! he knows he’s obsessed with volleyball, he knows the amount of time he spends on the sport is insane, and he knows that other people see it as out-of-the-ordinary. that’s why he expects people to keep up with him, because you clearly know he’s crazy about volleyball, shouldn’t you kinda expect a little negligence? he’s got a goal and he won’t change his path for anyone!

akaashi keiji’s toxic trait stems from him being so detail-oriented and being able to read people! even tho i think akaashi is intelligent enough to understand that not everyone is like him, i also feel that he’d have the expectation for his lover to be able to read him easily because they are supposed to be his safe space! he low key takes it as a sign of you not loving him if you can’t read him. because, if you really loved him, shouldn’t you be able to understand the little things he does?

yamaguchi tadashi’s toxic trait makes more sense if you connect it to how he acts before he has a successful jump serve! he’s super doubtful of everything because he lacks confidence from being the only first year that’s not a starter! 

kageyama tobio’s toxic trait stems from his one-track-mindedness! he also can’t pretend to like something he doesn’t, and he isn’t good at reading people, and he also doesn’t understand people’s emotions because he’s never really had to before. so he’s insensitive and doesn’t see how his words and actions hurt! 

kuroo tetsurou’s toxic trait is because he’s a scorpio LOL, from what i can tell they aren’t too fond of talking about their feelings and letting people in, also he gives me a lowkey mysterious vibe so i just amplified that!

hinata shoyo’s toxic trait comes from his light-heartedness and the fact that he’s never really been in any relationship before? he knows some couples have fights but he thinks that he won’t really encounter that with you, and when he does, he’s shocked because he thought???/ aren’t relationships supposed to be simple and full of love? honey baby just doesn’t get it 

bokuto kotarou’s toxic trait -- bro have you seen how dejected he gets when his teammates ignore him during the games even when he asks? literally gets so emo and pouty, just translate that to the relationship except he thinks that he should be able to give you all he love and you not push him away? he doesn’t need personal space so he doesn’t understand people who do LOL 

tsukishima kei’s toxic trait obviously comes from him holding back his emotions for so long. plus i think he just expresses his feelings completely differently. like if you’ve read the manga, when Tsukki blocks Ushiwaka’s spike and hinata tell him ‘good job’, you think tsukki smiles (which he does) but he automatically goes back to teasing. he just expresses himself differently and isn’t a good communicator which is vital in relationships 

iwaizumi hajime’s toxic trait is honestly something i either see him having 100% or not having AT ALL. he doesn’t seem to care about what other people think of him, so i lowkey feel like he wouldn’t care about showing vulnerability; OR he’s be aware of how manly he seems and he’f think that’s what made you attracted to him initially and he doesn’t want to show any vulnerability in fear of you losing attraction to him 

kozume kenma’s toxic trait would only happen if you were super close with him. first off, to even be in a relationship with him he has to feel comfortable around you, so he’d feel comfortable using harsher words with you. plus since you already know him he would think it’s ridiculous for you to expect him to change in any way. 

[choicesfanatic86]

Almost:  Chapter 7

DISCLAIMER:  All characters belong to Pixelberry Studios, except characters unique to my story.  Those belong to me. ;)

PAIRINGS:  Liam x Riley (MC)

SUMMARY:  Riley Lawson didn’t believe in second chances, until one night a face from her past makes a shocking reappearance in her life.

Permanent Tag List:  @umccall71​ @drakelover78​ @jamielea81​ @bobasheebaby​ @speedyoperarascalparty @hopefulmoonobject​ @theroyalweisme​ @gardeningourmet​ @jlouise88 @hamulau @traeumerinwitzhelden​ @blackcatkita​ @mrs-simmy​ @kaitycole​ @alwaysthebestchoice​ @mfackenthal​ @trr-duchessofvaltoria @pbchoicesobsessed @liamxs-world​ @flyawayblue56 @devineinterventions2​ @ranishajay​ @jayjay879​ @alepowell​ @greyeyedsmile14​ @mspaigemoore​ @princesaakl @annekebbphotography​​ @gibbles82​​ @kingliam2019 @texaskitten30​​​

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Need to catch up? Check out my Master List.

06/08/2020 - Ahhh here it is!  A long awaited updated.  I’m always so busy, but with summer starting and some much needed vacation days on the horizon, I’m updating everything.  If Only & TTS will be coming along shortly. :)

Thank you! As always if you want to be tagged, send me a message!

Chapter 7

It didn’t take long for Riley to jump into action when Liam agreed to her offer to see the Statue of Liberty.  She started to text furiously on her phone, and when she wasn’t getting a response quick enough, she resorted to actually calling up the friends she knew would still be up at that hour.  After all, she lived in the city that never slept, and a good chunk of her friends were in line with that mentality.  At first it seemed like she wouldn’t have any luck making her plan happen, but eventually one of her friends pulled through.  Matt Dennison had owed her a favor from ages ago.  She had never expected to actually stake a claim on said favor, but here she was at some god awful hour staring at the boy that had stolen (and ultimately broken) her heart eight years ago, and all she wanted to do was make his dream come true.  So, desperate times called for desperate measures and she had absolutely no qualms about waking Matt up from his beauty sleep.

Matt was a frequent patron of the bar, and he and Riley had struck up a bit of a friendship.  He was a lot nicer than a lot of the regulars, because he never tried to make any sort of pass at her.  That in and of itself had won him a bunch of brownie points.  One night last October, an out of towner had come into the bar already reeking of alcohol.  Daniel had refused to serve him the three tequila shots he had ordered because he couldn’t bring himself to serve the guy any more alcohol when he had already stumbled into the bar clearly intoxicated.  The out of towner didn’t take too kindly to being told no and started to scuffle with another patron, sucker-punching the guy in the stomach for no apparent reason.  Seeing this, Matt tried to intervene.  His Good Samaritan behavior landed him with a black eye and a set of handcuffs.  It didn’t matter who did what, when the cops had shown up; everyone got taken in, leaving Matt in a very serious bind.  He had no money to post bail, and everyone he thought would come through hadn’t even returned his calls.  Riley swung by the jail at the end of her shift in the hopes of explaining things to the arresting officers.  She was an eye-witness after all, but no one wanted to take her statement.  She couldn’t see Matt spending the night in jail, so she decided to come to his rescue.  She bailed him out and posted the thousand dollar fee without even spending a second to think about it.  Ever since then, he had been eternally grateful to her.  A month later, he paid her back in full plus interest and told her that if she ever needed anything, he’d make it happen for her.  She had brushed the comment off, never really intending to take him up on her offer, but tonight . . . tonight she was ready to cash in.  

Matt owned a small boating business that offered tours of the harbor.  It was a great way to get some pretty nice scenic photographs of the New York City skyline.  His business wasn’t at all like the fancy ferry lines that also ran their own tours out of the docks, but Matt’s tours were a whole lot more inspirational and weren’t the cookie-cutter spiels that the other ferries tried to sell.  It also helped that he didn’t price gouge the hell out of the tours that he sold.  So, although he wouldn’t be a multi-millionaire anytime soon, he did all right for himself.   He had always offered to take Riley on a free tour . . . but he probably never meant for it to be well after midnight.  Regardless, he had come through for her, and was on his way to the docks to take them to see Lady Liberty in all her glory.

“Ha!” She exclaimed giddily.  “You’re in luck,” she beamed, a large grin forming on her lips.  “My friend Matt is going to help us out,” she explained.  “The thing is . . . we’re going to have to walk . . .” she said hesitantly.  “It’s about a twenty minute trek to the docks.  Think you can handle that,” she looked down at his dress shoes.  

“Perhaps I should be asking you that question,” he motioned to her high heels.  “This isn’t the easiest terrain to take a hike on,” he reasoned.  “Especially in those,” he pointed out.

“I’ll be fine,” she said confidently, brushing off his concern.  “I’m a New Yorker, remember?  Walking around in heels is a thing here,” she chuckled.

Liam glanced back briefly at his friends.  They were still entirely wrapped up in what they were doing.  They didn’t even seem to notice that Liam and Riley had wandered off on their own.

“Do you think they’ll be angry that I left without telling them?” He asked hesitantly.

Riley took a quick peek behind her shoulder.  She didn’t know them well enough to say either way, but based off of the earlier conversation that she had with Drake, this was definitely something that Liam needed to do – regardless of whether or not his friends would be angry with him.  He needed to put himself first for once in his life, especially if, for whatever reason, he wouldn’t have the opportunity to come to New York again.  She shook her head.  “I’m pretty sure they’re having a grand old time without you,” she murmured.  

Liam’s eyes shifted to their direction once more.  Riley could see the hesitation building in his eyes.  He was having second thoughts about the whole thing, and she couldn’t let that happen.  “Hey . . . don’t look so guilty,” she nudged his shoulder playfully.  “You wanted to see the Statue of Liberty, and it’s going to happen,” she assured him.  “Besides, if they get antsy and want to head back to the hotel, you left the car with them.  You can always meet back with them later if they’re still on the whole party roll,” she reasoned.

Liam nodded, finally pulling his gaze away from them.  “You’re right.  I should take full advantage of the fact that this is my last night in New York . . . and . . . well I’ll have more responsibilities after I go back, so maybe it won’t be so bad being a little selfish tonight,” he said simply.

Riley pondered his words thoughtfully for a moment.  Oh right, he was getting married.  He wouldn’t just be able to hop on a plane on a whim.  He’d have a wife’s opinion to consider.  She thought on his words again, and she couldn’t help but think that he was giving his words served more as a confidence booster for him to actually go through with it he was trying to rationalize his decision to take her up on her offer.  The Liam she knew in Germany would never turn down an adventure, so it was a bit surprising to see him behave so cautiously.  She supposed getting older and being swamped down with more responsibilities had changed his outlook a bit.  It was strange to think that over the years she had become more adventurous and outgoing.  She supposed that it was her time with him in Germany that had really allowed her to branch out and experience new things.

“Exactly,” she agreed.  

They walked in silence for a few minutes.  She could feel his gaze wander over her a few times as they walked, and she briefly wondered what was running through his head as they walked together side by side.  

“So, why did you stay in New York?” He asked, trying to engage her in small chit-chat.

“What do you mean?” She looked back at him.

“Well . . . you weren’t always a New Yorker, right?  If I remember correctly, you were from Virginia?” He said thoughtfully.  “Or was it New Hampshire,” he said uncertainly.

“West Virginia,” she corrected him.  She licked her lips anxiously.  “It just wasn’t home anymore,” she shrugged.  “I made a life for myself here,” she responded simply.

“Right.  West Virginia,” he nodded.  “How are your parents doing?  Did they end up moving out to New York, too?”

Riley stiffened at the mention of her parents.  They had a falling out shortly after she came back to the States from Germany.  She had been devastated after everything that happened there, and she had hoped that going home and spending time with her family would help her clear her head, pull the shambles of her life together, and figure out where to go from there . . . but it hadn’t.  Instead, she came home to judgment and disappointment, and she felt her life fall apart all over again.

“We don’t talk anymore,” she shrugged, becoming a bit uncomfortable.

Liam’s eyes widened in surprise.  “You don’t?”  He paused for a moment, trying to formulate the right words.  “I’m sorry.  You were always so close to them,” he said, a look of regret in his eyes.  “Did something happen?”

Riley frowned.  She hadn’t intended for the conversation to stray in this direction.  It wasn’t something she was necessarily ready or willing to talk about.  “We had a disagreement about my life choices,” she said vaguely.  “I did what I thought was best, and they didn’t agree with me,” she shrugged.  “Case closed,” she said coldly.

Liam studied her carefully.  She hated the way he was analyzing her.  She knew he could probably sense that she was keeping something from him, but in that moment, she just couldn’t bring herself to get into things right then and there.

“I just find it so odd that you wouldn’t be in contact with them,” he frowned.  “You spoke with them nearly every single day while we were in Germany . . .” he trailed off.

“Well, Germany was a long time ago, Liam,” she said a bit shortly.  She started to feel tears form in her eyes.  He was right.  She had been exceptionally close to her parents, especially her mother.  It killed her to not have a relationship with them, especially after everything she had been through.  She just couldn’t bring herself to forgive them after everything that was said and done.

She turned to Liam, ready to tell him to just back off and drop the issue about her parents, but when she met his gaze, she saw the concern in his eyes.  She bit her lip.  He was worried about her.  Even after all this time, there was still a part of him that wanted to make sure she was all right.  She debated letting everything that was on her mind flood out from her right then and there, but she knew that once she spilled her heart out to him, there would be no taking the words she said back.  She’d likely never see him again after tonight.  So why should she bother?  What good would it do except to stir up unnecessary pain and heartache of something that had long happened years ago?  

He slumped his shoulders a bit, the concern never leaving his face.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t intend to upset you,” he said quietly.  

She shrugged.  Her family was a sensitive issue.  He was right.  They had been exceptionally close.  Her parents had always been wonderful . . . until, well, they weren’t.  She remembered the screaming battle they had when she had gone back to West Virginia.  Her life had changed so much in a few short months, and they couldn’t understand that she was her own person . . . who was able to make her own decisions.  The life she had decided to lead didn’t correlate with the live they had envisioned for her.  

“If it makes you feel any better, I’m at odds with my family as well,” he sighed.

“Not speaking to them?” She asked in surprise.  Liam had always spoken very highly of his parents.  He admitted that they were a bit overprotective, but she had never gotten the feeling that things were strained between them.

“Oh no, we’re speaking . . . let’s just say that it’s all . . . an act,” he sighed wearily.  “I play my part, and hell doesn’t get raised,” he said vaguely.

“That sounds like there’s a story there,” she commented.  Her curiosity was piqued.  Just moments ago she had wanted him to butt out of her personal affairs, yet here she wanted to know about his own rift with his parents.

“You have no idea,” he sighed as he tried to keep pace with her.  “So whatever happened with your parents may be minuscule compared to what I’ve been dealing with my father and Regina,” he sighed in frustration.

Riley snorted.  “I doubt that.”  She sighed, letting the topic drop.  Talking about her parents always put her in a foul mood, and she had a sneaking suspicion that Liam now felt the exact same way about his parents.  “We’re here,” she motioned to the rickety dock in front of her.

He looked at her in surprise.  “Really?  That didn’t take too long . . . this doesn’t really look like an actual dock area,” he said as he looked around.

“That’s because it’s not,” she explained.  “Well, it used to be, but no one ever really uses it anymore.  This is one of my favorite spots in the city,” she said quietly as they waited for Matt to show up.  The dock overlooked he entire city’s skyline.  Over time, newer docking areas were built on the opposite side of the river, and boats started to frequent the newer docking stations.  The older docks sort of just got left behind.  Riley gazed out into the night sky - the different towers were all lit against darkness.  There was faint music playing in the background from one of the yachts off in the distance.  It was actually a really nice spot to just think.  Riley supposed that’s why she had enjoyed it so much.  Because no one really used the dock anymore, there wasn’t really all of the hustle and bustle like the main dock areas.

“I can see why you like it so much,” he said, gazing out into the sky.  “The view is spectacular.”

She nodded in agreement.  

“Now what?” He asked, looking around.

“We wait,” she said simply.

“For?”

“A magical boat I’ve summoned just for you,” she smiled.  “Just enjoy the moment, will you?  The old Liam would have embraced every second of this adventure so that he could remember everything about it,” she said.

“Yeah, well the old Liam also learned that sometimes being adventurous can lead to loads of trouble,” he sighed.  “The new Liam tends to err on the side of caution nowadays.”

“That’s too bad,” she said sullenly.  “Old Liam was a pretty fun guy,” she said nostalgically.  “So . . . what made you want to see the Statue of Liberty?  You talked a lot about it back then, but I don’t think you ever told me why you wanted to visit it so much.”

He shrugged lightly.  “You of all people should know why.”

She arched her eyebrow in question.  “What do you mean?”

“She represents something that I so desperately want,” he sighed.

She looked at him curiously.  “Freedom?”  She guessed.

He nodded sullenly.  

She furrowed her forehead in confusion.  “And why would you want freedom, Liam?”

He stuffed his hands in his pocket, his eyes gazing out onto the skyline.  “It’s not easy when your life is under a microscope,” he explained.

“I’m not sure I understand,” Riley said as she stepped closer to him.

“The life I lead is under constant scrutiny.  Every decision . . . every action may reflect poorly on myself and my family.  Something I’m never allowed to forget no matter how badly I might want to,” he said sadly.

“Liam . . .I’m sorry . . . I didn’t know things were that difficult for you,” she cleared her throat.  “That sounds awful,” she reached out placing her hand lightly on his shoulder.  “It must be difficult for your fiancé to live that sort of life, too,” she commented.

There eyes meet for a lingering moment, before Liam tears his gaze away.  “Riley, I – “

The horn from the boat blares, and a man dressed in worn overalls and a torn up hat waves haphazardly at them from the side.  The moment between them wanes as Matt pulls the boat as closely to the dock as possible  

“Riley!” He called out to her.  “When I said I owe you one, this wasn’t what I had I mind,” Matt chuckles loudly.  “Leave it to you to call someone at one o’clock in the morning.  I had to refuel and everything,” the man bellowed.

Liam’s words became forgotten as Riley snapped back into high gear remembering the mission set before them.  “I know!  You’re the only one who picked up,” she shrugged.  “I know this is a bit . . . unusual . . . but my friend here leaves tomorrow and he’s never seen Lady Liberty.  We’re hoping you can make that happen for him?” She asked.

“Of course I can make it happen,” he smiles broadly.  “Just wish we were doing this a tad bit later in the morning than one o’clock,” he laughed.  He started to pull down a plank onto the deck so that Riley and Liam could board the ferry.

“Is that?” Liam looked at her with concern.

“Our ride,” she nodded.  

Liam looked at the large, rickety ferry, his face turning into a frown.  “Are you sure he’s reputable?” He looked at Matt and the ferry with skepticism.  “I mean . . . I hear the horror stories about these sorts of situations that go awry,” he whispered.  “I have a . . .  thing about boats,” he trailed off.

“Beggars can’t be choosy, Liam.  Besides, I know Matt looks a bit rough around the edges, but he’s a decent guy . . . Just don’t think about how it all looks . . . push that aside and think about the bigger goal . . . you want to see Lady Liberty don’t you?”

“Well, yes,” he nodded.  “I just didn’t imagine it would be on this sort of vessel.”

“It’s now or never, Liam.  You leave tomorrow.  Who knows if you’ll ever make it back to see her,” she motioned behind her.  “Do you really want to live with the regret of not having at least tried?  What if your wife doesn’t want to travel to the States?  Or if you have kids right away?  This could be your last shot to ever see something as grand as the Statue of Liberty.  Are you really going to let the shape of Matt’s boat turn you around?” she asked.

He shook his head.  “I suppose not,” he admitted.

“Excellent,” she beamed.  Hop on.  You’re about to see Lady Liberty in all her glory.”

As Riley and Liam boarded, Matt pushed the ferry into high gear.  “Hang on, guys.  Next stop, the Statue of Liberty.”

They stood on the edge of the ferry, and after ten minutes of not so smooth sailing, they could see the Statue of Liberty gleaming out in the distance.

“Wow,” Liam murmured.

“Aren’t you glad you decided to take a chance?” Riley chuckled as her own gaze lingered over the majestic beauty of the statue.

He nodded, his eyes never straying from the sight of Lady Liberty in all her glory.  “She’s amazing,” he murmured.

“Isn’t she?” Riley sighed, she too couldn’t help but be mesmerized by the sight of her.

The boat neared closer and closer to the statute’s base, and Liam’s smile was absolutely blinding.  He pulled his cell phone out, snapping different photos at different angles.  He was acting as if he’d never see it again.  

Riley paused with the thought.  That very well could be true.  After all, she had said the very words to him only moments ago.  What if he never did come back to New York?  Let alone back to America?  Whatever it was that waited for him back home seemed like an anchor.  At least, that’s how he seemed to describe it.  Life under a microscope?  She couldn’t imagine spending every single day of her life worrying about what other people were thinking about her choices.  It made her wonder why Liam’s life was like that.  Had he been some sort of celebrity back home?  Riley watched him with intrigue as Liam happily gazed up at the towering beauty.  For a brief moment, she saw the carefree Liam she had fallen for back in Germany.  She didn’t see the boy who broke her heart and left her without even a single word.  Instead, she saw a man, so bogged down with secrets and troubles that such a simple thing like seeing the Statue of Liberty brought him so much joy.  She almost felt sorry for him.  How troubled was his life that he couldn’t even steal a few moments of enjoyment for himself back home?

“I didn’t think you could pull this off.  I should have known better,” he let a small chuckle escape as he turned to face her.

Riley snapped out of her thoughts.  “What do you mean?”  She looked at him a bit puzzled.

“Admittedly, I may have had some skepticism about this whole thing working,” he smirked.  “Especially when I saw the state of his . . . . boat,” he cringed looking around.

“It floats,” she chuckled.  “And it’s given you the chance to see your life-long dream,” she eyed him.  “Be grateful,” she chuckled, nudging his side slightly.

“I am,” he held his hands up.  “I just . . . well, I suppose I haven’t done anything this . . . impulsive in quite some time,” he mused.  “It feels odd.”

“Yeah . . . tonight is full of impulsivity for you,” she smirked.

Liam burst out in a hearty laugh.  “Says the girl who doesn’t have an impulsive bone in her body.”  He rolled his eyes jokingly.

The playfulness in his tone caught Riley off guard.  Riley feigned offense.  “I’ll have you know I’ve done tons of impulsive things in my life.  You haven’t seen me in eight years,” she pointed out.

“I suppose . . . I guess I have a hard time reconciling the you now with the you back then,” he shrugged.

She looked up at him, completely understanding what he meant, and nodded.

“Hey . . . “ he said a bit excitedly.  “Do you remember back in Germany when you tried to convince me that you were a rebel?  You told me about this time when you were in high school and you held a protest against your schools’ science program because one of the teachers scheduled an assignment to dissect a rat?”

Riley’s face flushed in embarrassment.  “Of all the things to remember, that is something you bring up?” She sighed heavily.  “Hey, don’t judge me for the stupidity of my youth,” she forced a chuckle, but the embarrassment was still going strong.  “At that point in my life . . . yeah that had been the craziest, most rebellious thing I had ever done.  You were always so worldly and daring . . . I just wanted to impress you,” her blush deepening.  

Liam chuckled more.  “Oh, you’ve certainly proven to me that you have a rebellious streak, Riley Lawson.  You’re certainly a lot more adventurous and fascinating than I remember,” he commented.

“And you’re not,” she mused.  “The Liam I knew eight years ago would have dropped everything at the chance for an adventure.  He wouldn’t even think about a rough looking boat stop him,” she pointed out.

Liam’s smile and playful demeanor changed suddenly.  His back stiffened, and eyes saddened a bit.  “I’m afraid that Liam grew up a bit over the years,” he murmured.

The boat began to take a slow u-turn, heading back in the direction they had come from.  Riley looked up toward Matt in the captain’s control cabin.  “Going back so soon?” she called up to him.

He nodded from the control cabin.  “My first tour is at 8 am tomorrow.  Don’t want to be out too late so that I sleep through it,” he said.  “Don’t worry, next time your friend comes back to New York, I’ll give him the full tour . . . during the waking hours of course,” he laughed.

With Matt’s words, Liam’s shoulders slumped a little.

Riley nodded slowly.  “Got it.  Thanks for bringing us out here, Matt.  Now I feel like I owe you one for waking you up at this hour,” she chuckled lightly.  Matt waved her off, before turning his attention back to the wheel.

“Well, I suppose our adventure has come to an end,” Riley sighed.  “But at least you got to see her . . . maybe not all up in person, but now you can go back home with a pretty cool story from your bachelor party.  It would totally blow to go back home and tell everyone that you sat at a table in a club by yourself all night while your friends partied without you,” she joked.

She turned to face him when he didn’t respond and noticed the forlorn look on his face.  “What’s wrong?  I was just joking about the whole club thing . . .” she trailed off.

“I just can’t believe its over,” he said quietly.  He sighed heavily as he leaned against the boat’s railings.  “I always thought I’d have more time.”

“Hey, maybe you can convince your fiancé to come to New York for your honeymoon . . . unless that’s already planned . . . then maybe you guys can plan a vacation or something down the road?” She tried to say cheerily.

“I’m never coming back to New York, Riley.  At least not without being on a tight leash,” he raised his voice.  There was an underlying sense of anger in his words.  It took Riley aback.

She paused, not really understanding the shift.  He had been so happy only minutes ago.  “Liam, you’re being really cryptic.  You sound as if you’re going to be put to death once you return home,” she said concerned.  “I mean . . . okay maybe that’s a bit dramatic . . . but still.  Do you not want to go back?  I know this isn’t my place to say anything, I don’t know what you’re going through right now, but if I were the one getting married, I’d be over the moon with excitement.  And it is clear to me that you’re not.  I don’t know if it’s cold feet or something else, but it’s not fair to your fiancé if you suddenly don’t want to get married.  Tell her.  Talk to her about how you’re feeling,” she reasoned.

“If only it were that simple,” he sighed.

Riley’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion.  “Why isn’t it simple?  I feel like I’m missing something major here, and I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s going on,” she said angrily.

“Do you remember my brother Leo?”

Riley nodded.  “He was a thrill seeker, right?  Always bouncing from country to country . . . He was always a bit reckless about it though,” she nodded.  “Well, so you told me,” she shrugged.  “What has he got to do with anything?”

“Well, let’s just say he hasn’t changed and his recklessness has forced me into a bit of a predicament,” he sighed.  “His choices inadvertently solidified mine, if that makes any sense,” Liam murmured.

“It doesn’t,” Riley shook her head.

“My family is important to me, Riley.  Our legacy . . . the business that we are in . . . all of it . . . it means the world to me.  My brother . . . well, he’s never been one to follow the rules.  I envy him a bit.  One of us had to become the responsible one, especially after . . . well, let’s just say that my family went through a rough patch and needed all of us to step up and help.  Leo couldn’t . . . more appropriately, didn’t want to do it.  He enjoyed his adventures too much, and being stuck to one place for the rest of his life would have killed him.  So . . . my family turned to me.”

“Liam, that still doesn’t make much sense,” she murmured.

“Getting ready to depart,” Matt yelled from up above, interrupting their conversation.

Riley’s looked up and saw that they were pulling in near to where Matt had picked them up from earlier.  Her heart suddenly felt very heavy.  She didn’t want this night to end.  Not when something was clearly bothering Liam.  How crazy was it that after all this time, she still felt something for him?  A sense of protectiveness . . . a sense of worry.  She paused, was she falling for him again?  No. She shook her head, trying to make sense of everything that was happening.

“Forget I mentioned anything,” Liam said, clearing his throat.  “I got a bit sentimental back there, and my judgment became clouded.  I’ve got a lot on my mind, and shouldn’t have burdened you with my problems,” he explained.

“Liam,” she started before Matt blew the boat’s horn.

“Alright, guys.  Back to land,” he called out to them.  

Riley looked back up and saw that they had docked, and Matt was already situating the plank to let them off.  Liam was waiting patiently and stepped hurriedly off the vessel as soon as the plank was down.  She headed toward them, and clasped Matt on the shoulder.  

“Thank you, for doing this,” Riley said softly.  “I know I mentioned this before, but he has wanted to see the Statue of Liberty for ages . . .” she sighed.

“He got his wish,” Matt nodded toward Liam.  “But something tells me he’s wishing for something else now,” Matt nudged Riley’s shoulder.

Riley looked at him puzzled.  “What?”

“Uh . . . you and he?  Aren’t you a thing?” Matt asked.

“Nope, it’s nothing like that.  We just knew each other from way back when.  It was purely a coincidence to run into him tonight,” she brushed off his hinting with a wave.  She didn’t need another person’s thoughts adding to her own jumbled emotional mess.

“Well, I’m thinking he’s seeing you in a whole new light,” he said, pressing on.  “That guy has eyes for you, Riley.  The way I saw him looking at you . . .and you looking at him . . . could have fooled me,” he shrugged, patting her on the back.  

Riley bit her lip, even more confused than before.  She trudged toward the plank shaking her head at him.  “I’ll see you around, Matt.  I better get this guy back to his friends.”

She walked off the plank toward Liam who was gazing at the New York skyline deep in thought.  The worry lines on his forehead were prominent, and his eyes looked deep with sadness.

“Hey . . . we were having a pretty deep conversation on that boat . . . then Matt interrupted and you seemed to close yourself off again.  I don’t want to forget it, Liam.  We were friends once.  More than friends,” she sighed, closing her eyes at the memory.  “I don’t want to spend another eight years wondering about you . . . wanting closure . . .” she trailed off.

“Why do you care so much?” He asked.

“Huh?” She questioned.

“Several hours ago you were dumping a pitcher of water over my head.  After that, I assumed you never wanted to see me again . . . then I saw you at the club . . . and then you took us to the cove,” he trailed off.  “You went through all this trouble to make this happen for me tonight . . . then you tell me you’re worried about me . . . about my happiness,” he shakes his head as if in disbelief.  “What changed?”

“I – I don’t know,” she shrugged.  “I can say the same about you,” she turned it back on him.  “Eight years, Liam.  Eight years without a single word.  I sent to hell and back after you left, then you waltz back into my life and I’m finally ready to tell you off for leaving me back in Germany,” she sighed.  “So yeah, at first . . . well I guess my anger got the best of me.  Then,” she trailed off.  “I guess I wanted closure,” she said softly.  “I mean, back at the cove, you talked about your family obligation, but then something changed.  You seemed sad and lost and I don’t know . . . I just wanted to do something for you to make you feel better,” she shrugged.  “I suppose talking to Drake may have triggered me being a bit more open-minded about things . . . and well, how you saved me back at the club certainly opened my eyes about a few things,” she reasoned.  “I guess I built up this terrible image of you in my head, and you’re just . . . you’re not.  You’re not terrible, Liam.  You weren’t a terrible guy, then either.  There was a reason why I cared about you so deeply . .  a reason why you leaving without saying goodbye hurt me so terribly . . . I cared for you,”

She loved him then, but she certainly wasn’t going to admit that to him.  Not when he had warned her that they could never be together.  It was her own fault.  He had told her that they could only have the summer together, that realistically anything beyond that summer would lead to something that could never continue.  At the time, she was okay with that, but then, he left before the summer had even ended, then her world turned upside down and she just crumbled.

“We should talk,” Liam said lowly, his gaze turning steely.  “You deserve to know the truth . . . about everything.  Why I left, why I couldn’t stay in touch . . .” he trailed off, his hand suddenly reached for hers, and she felt a tingle as their skin touched.  Her body hummed in anticipation and longing.

Riley looked up at him, tears beginning to form in her eyes.  The emotional whirlwind of the night was finally catching up with her.  There were so many emotions that she had pushed away for far too long.  Now, they were all bubbling back to the surface, and she didn’t know how to feel?  What was she doing?  He was engaged.  He was going to leave her again.  This little reunion was exactly as she had told Matt – a pure coincidence.  There would be nothing beyond tonight.  She wasn’t the type of girl to cheat and she certainly didn’t want to cause any turmoil between Liam and his fiancé.  It didn’t matter if she loved him first.  It didn’t matter what happened between them.  She just wanted to make him happy, and mission accomplished.  He saw the Statue of Liberty.  Now it was time to part ways and go back to their lives . . . separately.  She pulled her hand out of his grasp, shaking her head.  

“I can’t do this.  I should go home,” she said hesitantly.  Here he was offering her everything she had wanted – an explanation.  Not some bullshit about some sort of family obligation, but a genuine, honest to God explanation about why he left her shattered in Germany all those years ago.  She finally had her opportunity to confront him about everything that had happened, and here she was chickening out.  Perhaps not knowing was better?  She’d wanted an explanation for so many years, she was suddenly afraid to have it.  Or more appropriately, she was afraid of what was now happening between them.  Talking to Liam had always been so easy . . . too easy.  She remembered being able to tell him anything.  She remembered feeling so comfortable around him.  She was feeling it again.  This thing between them was dangerous.  It would hurt too much to fall for him again.  That would be the worst thing to happen . . .  considering he was emotionally and physically unavailable to her.  He was about to be married for God’s sake.  It was time for her leave.  

She shook her head quickly.  “I have to go,” she murmured, taking a few steps back.  “I take it you can find your way back to your friends?” She asked, without really waiting for him to answer.

“Riley,” he said softly.

“I’m glad that we saw each other again . . .  but maybe it’s better if we just leave things as they were.”  She started to wobble down the path, overwhelmed by the surge of feelings that flooded over her.  “I am going to call myself an Uber, go home, sleep this night off, and start fresh in the morning,” she rambled on to herself as she walked away.

“Riley James Lawson,” he called after her, she paused, too afraid to turn back.

“Riley James Lawson,” he called out after her again.  “I owe you an explanation . . . I owe you a whole lot more, too . . . It might be eight years too late, but I’d still like you to hear it.  If you’d like,” he added.

[artificialqueens]

A Road to Somewhere, Chapter 3 (Adore Delaska) - Puppy

Chapter Summary: Adore meets up with the infamous Grand Witch and finally gets that job! But at what costs?

A/N: Happy belated Halloween and Samhain to all who celebrate. It’s Halloween when I’m submitting this my time, but it’ll be November when it gets posted. I figured the sentiment was still nice. Anyway, I figured a good thing to ring in the holiday was yet another story of spirits and witches.

This chapter is surprisingly longer than I thought it was going to be, but it was still nice to write. Thanks again to @chaoticnachokitten and @thackeryisatop for beta-ing.

I hope you enjoy.

Chapter 3

TW: emotional abuse.

Adore found herself in a smaller storage room; it was probably a loading dock in the past. She passed by a small sink with a towel on a hanger. It was probably Raja’s whenever they decided to leave their post. Wrapped boxes and jars still had tags on them, and there were a few planks of wood and coils of rope neatly placed nearby. She didn’t have much time to take everything in though; there was somewhere she needed to be sooner than later.

Rio knew what she was doing; she looked like she went through this route for years. “The Grand Witch lives way up at the top, in the back of the house.” She said, beckoning the human to follow her down this path.

Following suit, she was led to an entrance marked by large moving gears. Adore looked up, admiring the mechanisms for a short second. There was a myriad of pulley systems, presumably enchanted as well, that made her severely underestimate how tall and large the bathhouse really was. It seemed endless, but perhaps that was the point. Not everyone could visit a witch who claimed to have such high esteem. Two elevators moved along the wires: two metal cabinets labelled on the outside. She didn’t have too much time to wonder about that, though.

“Get over here! We don’t have all night.”

“Coming!” Adore shook herself out of her state of awe and ran into another elevator where her guide was. It was a smaller wooden lift that didn’t have a door or proper walls, but it was made up for it being surrounded mainly by stone. There wasn’t any risk of her falling out any time soon. The redhead clung to the back wall (more like the back piece of plywood, if she could be more accurate), staring as it went farther up the bathhouse.

“You wanna lose your nose, kid?” She was pulled back by Rio’s forceful grip, and she thus threw her arms around the older spirit. “Hey, what are you doing?!“ Rio questioned.

"Aaaah! Sorry,” Adore answered, backing away from the older woman.

The elevator passed through many floors, and the human couldn’t keep track of what was going on on each one. They all reeked of opulence; this witch practically owned everything. The railings and beams supporting the house were made of cherry red wood with ornate gold carvings. The hardwood floors were barely even noticeable from the amount of workers who were there. She could never really tell how many of them were on said floor since they all blurred together. Some were carrying trays of food, or were they herbal soaks? Maybe some were pushing a dolly of some substance. The world was passing right before her eyes; plus her view was partly obscured by Rio’s body, hiding her from any suspicion.

The lift eventually stopped, letting Rio and Adore off on a higher floor. They faced a hallway of painted floral walls. Empty woven containers rested on yet another wall; they almost looked like birdhouses, but could easily be taken apart to build a nest of sorts. Above the walls, were small golden plates, also painted with flower arrangements. This witch must really like her flowers, Adore pondered as she started skipping on the hardwood. She didn’t have time to take in every little detail; hopefully her new motions would make her go faster. The loudest sounds the two could hear were their own footsteps. “So…” she attempted to start some conversation, “how long have you been here?”

“Hell if I know.” Rio continued, wanting to bash her head into one of those walls. Being part of an escort mission was the last thing she wanted to do today. “And watch your volume. The point of this is not to get discovered, remember?”

The human covered her mouth for a bit as they passed by chefs in dark, cone shaped hats and face masks preparing a kind of banquet. Some ladled soup into small red bowls while others placed cherry tomatoes in black bowls. There were off-handed comments and complaints about how it wasn’t spicy enough or how it was going to get cold before they could serve it. Adore nearly wanted to dive into the buffet for whatever she liked, but she found herself turning the corner and into yet another elevator. Thankfully, they were able to make it in before it closed, and before the woman who exited noticed their presence.

“We’re about halfway there. Just… stay close, y’hear?” The woman with the raccoon-like eyes pulled down a lever and up they went.

“Uh… party.” She smiled awkwardly and retreated to the back of the lift. This elevator was a little different as one part of the back wall wasn’t solid stone. It acted as a window to another part of the house. It looked like a series of tubs with guests destressing in its waters, but she couldn’t make out many details. Her vision was shrouded with a blanket of steam. Before she could take in anything more, the elevator stopped on another floor. The two of them were not as lucky this time.

A rather large patron was standing in front of them. From further inspection, he seemed furry with two large tusk-like appendages dangling from his face.The only articles of clothing that it wore were a large red bowl for a hat and an equally red loincloth on his torso. He looked at the worker and the invasive human pensively. Rio’s face grimaced at the sight of another spirit who desired to use the lift.

“Welcome…” Rio gasped and forced a toothy smile on her face as Adore slinked behind her. “What can I do for you?” The radish spirit didn’t really respond; he grumbled as he slowly pointed a finger upwards. “I’m sorry, sir. This elevator is out of service. Can’t go any higher. Have to take another one.” She maintained that smile as she walked out of the elevator. As soon she couldn’t see the spirit, her smile dropped. “Glad that’s taken care of,” she whispered when she was out of earshot. As they continued on, Adore swore she heard footsteps, but didn’t want to say anything just yet.

The two made their way onto an arched bridge, and it was then the redhead was starstruck by the interior of the bathhouse. The floral patterning was not confined to that one hallway, as it seemed to decorate many other parts of that floor.  She looked down, getting a better glimpse of what she saw on the elevator ride. There definitely was a series of tubs, and she could make out some of the figures on that bottom floor.

The ducks from earlier fit in one of the larger tubs, but there were more than she had seen before. Did they multiply like gremlins? Never mind that; there were more interesting sights than large ducks overflowing a pool. A worker in a blue kimono gave an antlered spirit a massage, while two others were filing some oblong entity’s nails. They massaged and pampered these creatures to their heart’s content.

As soon as the two stepped off the bridge, the two women turned a corner. Adore looked back, the radish spirit leering back at them from where they just left. “Rio, I think he’s following us…” She whispered, pulling at Rio’s free arm.

“Quit gawking. It’s rude.”

The human quickly whipped her head back forward and sooner than later they found themselves in front of an elevator. Rio pressed the button as Adore squished herself between the corner and the spirit in front of her. The radish spirit finally caught up to them, staring at the door in earnest; his undulating chest directly in Rio’s line of sight. Anyone around him could hear his breathing. She closed her eyes and turned her head the other way. Unfortunately, she didn’t have much time to rest. The elevator doors opened, but it wasn’t full, much to her surprise.

Three monsters in fluffy white bathrobes stepped out of the elevator with a frog-like worker following behind them, escorting them to their rooms. He wore a white and blue version of what Rio was wearing and was about as tall as her too.  The frogman stopped his conversation, sniffing his nose as he turned around looking his coworker dead in the eyes. “Rio!” He barked.

Surprised, and annoyed at being discovered, she pushed Adore into the elevator and plastered that retail smile back on her face. “What is it?” she asked through gritted teeth. The radish spirit followed the young girl into the elevator, clearly not aware of her existence. Or perhaps he was and he refused to say anything about the intruder’s presence.

“What’s that smell?” The frogman sniffed his nose again and widened his eyes, “Aha! A human! You reek of human!” Adore turned her head and sniffed herself; was her odor that strong? Yes, she hadn’t showered since the morning, but not everyone needed to point it out.

“Never would have guessed.” Rio retorted.

“You’re hiding something, aren’t you? Come on! Spill!”

The woman reached into her pocket and pulled out the newt Raja had given her. “Is this what you’re looking for?” She dangled it in front of his face.

The frog’s mouth watered at the sight of it, moaning out of hunger. “Give me that!”

His attempt was thwarted by Rio pulling it out of his grasp. “Well, I was gonna share this with the other girls. But since you asked so nicely…”

“Please? At least a leg! Just a leg will do!”

She kept pulling the newt farther and farther away, sometimes shifting her position to get it out of the man’s grasp. “If you wanna go up,” Rio instructed, “just pull the lever on the right.” Adore gave a thumbs up from her currently cramped state and managed to pull the lever from the ends of her fingertips. The last thing she saw before the doors finally closed was her guide popping the roasted lizard into her mouth, as one final act of spite.

The elevator ride was a little uncomfortable; one could easily cut the awkward tension with a butterknife. Adore took it upon herself to study more of her companion’s appearance. He had curly green hair… or was it leaves. He was called the “radish spirit”, so was he one? Or did he just look like one. Hell, this isn’t the strangest shit I’ve seen today… She pondered as she stopped herself from paying attention to the radish spirit’s dad bod.

The first floor the lift stopped at wasn’t the floor she needed to be. It was mostly empty hallways with pairs of sandals neatly decorating the hardwood. There were many shadows behind a series of patterned changing screens. Was this some sort of sleeping arrangements? Before Adore could think about exploring the place, the radish spirit realized this wasn’t the floor he was looking for, pulling the lever yet again. The human huffed a complaint. On the other hand, there wasn’t any time to explore; she had somewhere important to be.

After the awkward detour, the elevator finally stopped at the first floor. They both stepped out and scanned the area. If the scenery of the bathhouse didn’t stun her enough, then this top floor definitely did. This floor screamed wealth and was even more opulent than the floors she traversed earlier. Instead of the hardwood, the two were standing on some sort of marble with other colored tiles neatly placed in pretty patterns. Surrounding the middle sat large expensive vases accentuated by architecture embossed with more floral patterns. Adore let out a breath she never realized she held as her widened eyes soaked in all of the intricacies. The radish spirit stepped back into the elevator, bowing to her before the doors closed.

She quickly bowed back and was alone yet again. She wearily walked down the hall, her breath loud and her shoulders practically to her ears. The girl nearly flinched as she heard the echoes of her own footsteps. I should have asked Lask before this shit happened… she thought, playing with her sleeves. This needed to be over with soon. How hard could getting a job be? She stopped at a small staircase and looked up.

Two bright red doors stood before her underneath a bird-like crest embossed with the symbol she saw earlier that day. There was something off about the right door, though. As she approached that door, she took careful watch of the knocker. It was engraved with the face of a woman, but not just any woman. She seemed to be the bird woman who patrolled when she first met Lask. Come to think of it, the crest looked vaguely familiar too, but that had to be a coincidence. Adore grabbed the handle and started to pull, but she was quickly stopped by an unseen voice.

“Well, aren’t you going to knock?”

She flinched back as if she had just touched a hot iron.

“Gods, you’re honestly the most pathetic thing I’ve seen all day!” The voice continued. She sounded mature for her age. Was that the Grand Witch she had been looking for? After insulting the human, whoever was speaking must have made a decision to pity her. The door opened by itself, revealing more doors that opened in sync. The hallway that stood before Adore was fascinating. There was a small chandelier in every little intersection, like every hallway in front of her had been Xeroxed multiple times. “Don’t be shy, you can come in.”

No matter how inviting the woman sounded, the human was still starstruck. She shook and clung to her shirt, but not out of fear. Or at least that was what Adore wanted to believe. She was thirteen; she shouldn’t be afraid of things anymore, or at least things as silly as a jumpscare.

“I said, come IN.” Adore felt something slowly tugging at the front of her shirt. She pulled back, but she stopped for a bit. The tugging quickly came back, grabbing at the collar and yanking her down the hallway at an impeccable speed, about the same speed when she tripped on the stairs. Doors seemed to close as soon as she entered them, and as soon as there weren’t any more doors, the force sharply turned its subject around the corner. She barely had any time to take in any more intricate patterns. For all she knew, she was floating across a sea of garnet and gold. The invisible grip let her go as soon as she went through a last set of doors, throwing her down and letting her fall face first into the patterned red carpet.

Sitting herself back up, the human caught her breath, tempted to hop on one of the two plush red armchairs that surrounded her. The fireplace crackled, causing Adore to jump a little bit. She looked around the room a little more until she caught the gaze of a woman working at her desk.  If she was the Grand Witch Visage, she wasn’t like anything the girl was expecting. The woman was a lot younger than she first expected, but not too young. She seemed practically old enough to be her mother… or at least a mother. She had well-defined cheekbones and a sharp chin. Her dark hair was up in a tight bun, while the top of her chest practically spilled out of her dress as she was working on some sort of paperwork. Her bony fingers picked up the pen and continued her writing. “Oh good, you didn’t break anything,” she barely noticed the human in front of her. Then again, the room always had a thin layer of smoke surrounding everything. “That’s more than I expected from you.”

The human brushed off her shorts and cautiously approached the woman. “Hey…umm… Please give me a job.” The witch simply stared at her for a split second, then returned to her work. With every movement of the pen, she felt something strange. Adore attempted to speak again, but as soon as she took a breath, her mouth was slowly closing, like some invisible seamstress sewed her lips together. Upon that realization, she quickly panicked, trying to force her mouth back open with as much force her fingers could allow, but it was merely in vain. Brute strength was nothing against a witch’s spell.

“There… much better,” Michelle smirked, continuing her work and avoiding eye contact with the shaken human. “You open your mouth for one second and you’ve already said too much. Especially with that request of yours. Get you a job… This isn’t the place for a human. This is a bathhouse, where eight million spirits can rest their bones.” She placed a small bag of gold in a coin box with her free hand as she continued her rant. The witch stopped for a moment and set her pen down, picking up a long cigarette in its holder instead. She twiddled it around, clinking with the many rings adorning her fingers. She then stopped and stared directly at Adore. “Your mother had some nerve, didn’t she?”

Adore’s brow furrowed; anger started coming to her in a slow boil. If circumstances were normal, she would be throwing a punch towards the woman’s direction, or she’d pull out a knife. However, all she could do was just stand there and take this beatdown.

“Now my customers are hungry and it’s all her fault. It’s a good thing in time that she’ll be next on the menu.” Michelle continued, her voice dripping with venomous honey. “Wait a second,” she lit the cigarette with her fingers and took a drag , blowing some smoke in the human’s general direction. “It’s not entirely her fault… It was yours!” Her jaw would have been on the floor by now. “You could’ve stopped her. You could have even avoided entering this realm… but you didn’t. And now you can’t go home! Now what do you have to say about that?”

As expected, there was only muffled nonsense coming from the human’s mouth. Adore was practically shaking at this point: mostly out of fear and panic. Neither of them could have known that this land was sacred. Logically, it couldn’t be her fault, but why was she believing it? Was that… monster just that persuasive?

“Just as I thought…” She tapped at the holder, a few ashes piled onto the table. “You’d make a good piglet. It fits with that body of yours… or maybe a lump of coal. That way you’ll be useful for once…” The Grand Witch laughed seeing the human’s now frazzled state, blowing another cloud of smoke. “You’re trembling… Actually, I’m impressed you made it this far,” she spoke with a twinge of sincerity, “but I know you couldn’t have done it alone. Someone had to have helped you.” She slowed down her speech slightly as if she was talking down to a child. Then again, for all she knew Adore could have been a young child; Michelle stopped caring about age a long time ago.“All… you have.. to do… is tell me… who… it… was….”

Adore let out a heavy breath when the witch finally broke the enchantment on her lips. She balled her fists. “I just want a job here.”

“Again with this, aren’t you done with th-”

“PLEASE! I JUST WANT A FUCKIN’ JOB, GODDAMMIT!”

“SHUT UP!” This angered the witch further as the pile of paperwork began to flutter around her as she tensed up. Shortly afterwards, she shot herself into the air and knocked her things off the desk. Michelle Visage landed directly in front of Adore, intimidating the teen. She forced her to make eye contact, towering her body over her. “Why should I hire you?! Anybody with half a brain can see that you’re a whiny, foul-mouthed, lazy, spoiled crybaby. And stupid to boot.” Her long nails dug into the girl’s chest with every insult. “There’s nothing here for you. This is a HIGH CLASS business, and I have all the lazy bums I need.” She then moved behind the frightened woman. “Or maybe… you’d like the nastiest job I’ve got, and work

you until you breathe your very last breath. How does that sound?” The witch asked, walking her fingers along Adore’s arm until they reached her neck. As she was about to apply more pressure, the room began to violently shake.

The contents of her desk, plus a candelabra atop the fireplace, crashed onto the carpet. Michelle stopped and stood back as she heard the cries of a child from within the room. Momentarily forgetting about the human nuisance, she rushed to the other side where she was met by splinters from the door nearing her face. “Stop that,” her voice showed genuine concern and passion as she poked her head in through the door hole. “What’s the matter, baby?” She was met with a large foot kicking her face. Chunks of green painted wood ended up in her bun. “It’s okay… Mama’s here…” After attending to her child’s needs, she turned back to the human, her demeanor turning 180 degrees. “What are you still doing? Can’t you tell this is a private moment?”

   “YES, BUT I WANT A JOB. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?” Adore yelled over the various other sounds in the room.

   “Be quiet! You’re scaring the baby!” She turned back towards her child, continuing her baby voice. “Hi, sweetie. She’ll be gone soon enough. Don’t be mad.

   “I’ll leave your office if you give me a job.” She smirked, not moving an inch..

   Michelle sighed, comforting the baby one last time. “It’s okay.. Mommy will be with you in a bit.” As she entered, the contents that had been knocked over slowly floated back to their respective places. Adore waited for the business to be over with, tapping her foot impatiently. She knew she won in this situation. Her mom was gonna be saved soon enough. How bad could this be?

   The witch returned, pulling planks out of her hair as a pen and empty piece of parchment found Adore’s hands. “That’s your contract,” Michelle explained as she returned to her desk, “just sign your name, and I’ll put you to work. And if I hear one little complaint out of you, you’ll be joining your family in the pigpen.”

   She nodded in response and stared at the contract, squinting her eyes to see if there was anything funny about it. If there were any added things about turning her anyway, she was going to be more than disappointed. This girl didn’t care if she was a middle-aged woman, she’d punch the living daylights out of her. “So… I just sign?”

   “Yes,” Michelle responded.

   “Right there?”

   “Yes! Quit wasting time. It’s almost like you don’t want this job with how you’re dilly-dallying…” Upon that remark, Adore kneeled down to find a flat surface to sign. “I can’t believe I took that oath. ‘Give a job to anyone who asks’…” Michelle mocked as she fixed a crooked lampshade and turned on that light. “She should be lucky I’m so nice… Are you done there?” As soon as Adore lifted the pen from the parchment, it flew into Michelle’s hands. “Perfect. So, you’re Adore Delano, yes?”

   She nodded her head.

   “Lovely name for someone like you.” The witch placed a hand over the paper. The human could only gasp as she saw what happened next. Most of the letters from her signature floated from the paper and into Visage’s open fist. She grasped the letters as a smirk stretched across her name. “From now on, your name is Red… You understand that? That’s easy enough to remember, right? You’re Red now. Answer me, Red!”

   The sudden change in tone made Ado- Red jump in her place. “Y-yes ma’am…” For the first time that day, she hesitated. She straightened her posture and held her arms closer together, holding back things she shouldn’t be feeling until a familiar voice made her happier.

   “You called for me?” Lask had entered the witch’s quarters seemingly unnoticed. Red wondered how much of the interaction she had seen.

   “Yes,” the Grand Witch responded, “this child is starting work as of now. Set her up with a job.”

   The other spirit nodded her head, turning to the human with a solemn look on her face. “What’s your name?”

   Red quietly gasped. You know me… why are you acting like a narc, lady? She wanted to say that, but she had her life and humanity on the line. “It’s Ad-” She stopped herself mid-sentence. “Red. It’s Red.”

   A moment of silence broke between the two old friends… or were they ever friends. “Follow me then.” Lask commanded for the newest hire to follow. They kept the silence as they walked down the halls again.

As they entered the elevator, the silence still continued. The human’s puppy dog eyes brightened. They were alone now! Things could get back to how they were. She then broke the eyes “Lask! I am so fuckin’ happy to se-”

“Don’t talk to me unless it’s something important.” Those words lashed at Red. “And address me as Madame Lask.”

Red refused to say anything more as she slumped along one of the lift’s walls. This ride somehow felt longer than all of the other ones.

[marithlizard]

Ace Attorney: Rise From the Ashes (Day Two, Investigation Former) (part 4)

(There’s so much to speculate on at this point in the game that I ended up just plain narrating all the events in detail.  It was fun to write - but is it fun to read? Or do people prefer the less wordy format?)  Today on Ace Attorney, we have our mission clear in mind:  bring down Stinkyhead Gant the police chief,  thereby saving both Lana Skye's life and Miles Edgeworth's career.  And oh yeah we should probably figure out who killed Detective Goodman.

Twice.

Simultaneously in two different places. Could be twins, but my money's on the second victim being someone else dressed up in a white trenchcoat and fedora, and Gant was playing elaborate word games at the trial to technically not lie about it.    No idea why. 

A quick review establishes that the two crime scenes are 30 minutes apart by car, and then we're off to the parking garage to do Science(tm), I guess?

Ema announces that no body was found in the evidence room murder.  Huh.  That certainly wasn't mentioned at the trial!  How, exactly, do you ID a  nonexistent body? In particular, why would you think it was someone who was provably elsewhere and also dead?

Also Ema: Murder, sure, but my sister would NEVER erase evidence,  that's unthinkable!

She's all excited about spraying for blood traces. And she has a point that we can't trust the police. Pink glasses on, new game mechanic engaged, and... we find some splotches right next to the car trunk.  Not enough for a fatal knife fight, though.  Lana's shoe has more blood on it than the ground.

Hello, lunchlady.  You're  much more friendly today.  Though your bentos are no more appetizing than usual.

Angel Starr:  Yes, I totally lied about  these key facts to make my enemy seem more guilty. But you haven't caught me in any lies about these OTHER things, and that's what's important!  

Instead of pointing out that we have no reason to trust ANY of her testimony,  Phoenix muses that the photo she took must have a Clue in it.  Hm.  Re-examining it, I see:

Lana still has both shoes on and they do not match the shoe submitted as evidence.  Clue or low production values?  

 Lots of blood on her trenchcoat, no scarf, gloves, she's about to shut the trunk.  But she didn't, since the crime scene outline tape shows the body was hanging out of it when found.

I dunno, man.  The Clue eludes me. We ask Angel about her past as a detective instead. I get the distinct sense she is bragging about having tortured suspects.  

Ema rises ten points in my estimation for a perfect delivery of the obvious food-poisoning insult.  Angel barely notices, though; she's too busy being bitter about the case that got her fired.  The SL-9 incident - same name as the tag on the knife, no surprise there.

Our victim Goodman was the lead detective on the case, she says.  The knife was the murder weapon (duh), and in her  eyes the case isn't over.  (Goodman probably thought the same. Does Lana?)  But it seems that's all she wants to say.   We give up and head to the police department.   There's another crime scene that could use a dose of Science.

The moving doll is still out front.   Inside, the head detective won't talk about the situation, but will brag about his plush version of the doll.   The other detective at his desk is working on his Agatha Christie fanfic.  I'm not exactly sensing grim determination to avenge a fallen colleague, here.

We reach the security guard office.   Cheesy cowboy decor, eleven booze bottles plus a full glass right on the front desk, and a line set up for hanging laundry. Somebody sleeps under his desk and has no fucks left to give.  A lasso "trap" in front of the inner door looks like something set by Wile E. Coyote on an off day.

Ema's imagination is good enough to compare her sister to a cactus - but not good enough to think of using the ID card in our inventory to get into the evidence room.  Or looking up stuff on the conveniently unguarded security computer.  Instead we stand around waiting for Marshall until I give up.

Detention center:  Lana is being interrogated.   Will she be charged with both deaths, common sense not being an obstacle around here?     But no, Phoenix remembers that Gant said they'd caught a suspect for the second murder.  I really hope it's not Gumshoe.

The Prosecutor's office doesn't seem to be available right now.   With no other options, we head back to the lunchlady and try again.   I throw everything in my inventory at her this time.    To my surprise, she has some solid observations to make:

- If Angel hadn't witnessed the crime, Edgeworth would've been the obvious first suspect.  ...Was that the plan?  I assumed before that she was planted at the scene as a witness, but now I'm not so sure.

- She's backed off from her blind rage against Lana enough to admit that it's very odd for such an organized person not to have brought her own murder weapon.

- She could've taken her photo from the overlooking guard room, instead of spending five minutes running all around the edge of the parking garage and climbing a high chain link fence.  Her testimony looks fishy because of that.

Ema points out that lying on the stand is fishier.  Angel retorts that her testimony was "disregarded" before in THAT case, and she was determined not to let it happen again. Do tell, lunchlady.   Vent your bitterness at us.

And she does.  (Flashback image:  Angel, Goodman, and Marshall bent over a  map, with a fourth person mostly hidden by the speech bubble.)    The prosecutors, she says, were desperate for decisive evidence of guilt.  They did not find it...so they used fake evidence to convict and execute the suspect.  And then fired or demoted all the detectives involved.

Oof.  So, falsified evidence *isn't* common practice here,  depite the rumors about Edgeworth.  It's so rare and so unacceptable that this level of coverup was needed to prevent major scandal.  Angel has reason for her hatred of prosecutors - but who exactly was responsible?  Edgeworth was new on the job at the time.   It would have been Lana, pressured by Gant.  And that's why Lana has been a cactus ever since.  

I still don't like Angel, but she's smart enough to recognize Phoenix will serve her ends. She gives us an actually tasty-looking lunch!  I thought it was a present in recognition of allyship, but no, it's a bribe. Presumably the smell of steak will lure someone back to his assigned guard post.

Ema blurts out her concern for Marshall, who apparently was a lot nicer before SL-9 and did not use to refer to her as a baby cow.  Angel assures us Marshall is not one of her many boyfriends.  I'm not sure why this makes Ema feel better, but it does.

Back to the PD we go with steak in hand.  

Gumshoe is not arrested! He'd tell us who is, but we only have one piece of protein in the inventory and there's no need to trade it for the name.   I can easily imagine who would be "having a good cry" in detention...but I can't imagine him doing murder.  Even the judge wouldn't buy a whopper like that.

Waving the steak around at the security guard office fails to summon Marshall, so we head back *again* to lend the Sniveling Mailman a handkerchief.   (Phoenix is racking up a lot  of taxi or subway expenses, here.  And he won't have the heart to bill Ema if Lana is convicted.)

S.M. Meekins,  left hand thoroughly bandaged,  can't imagine himself doing murder either.  He is very confused and very loud.    I am confused too, about why the guards haven't taken his portable  loudspeaker away.    But his garbled tale of woe clears things up for me if not for our heroes.

Meekins saw a "suspicious person" in a white trenchcoat and fedora on the monitors in the guard office, went into the evidence room and asked him for his ID. The guy pointed a knife at him and Meekins freaked out  and tried to attack. Then he fainted and awoke alone with a bleeding hand.  Soo...There's no body because nobody died.  Gant is just *claiming*  there was a murder because

well um because

Why would he claim that???  It's easily disproven.  The security videos would normally show what happened clearly so they must've been deleted,  or the cameras weren't working.  And Marshall was not at his post.  

Ema, bless her heart, connects the lack of dots and points out there was no murder - so why is Meekins in jail?  Apparently there IS a security tape, I was wrong, and it shows the crime...and that it really was Goodman in the evidence room.

Twins? Lies?  But which parts are  lies?   I throw some inventory items at Meekins just in case, and he recognizes the knife.    The broken-tip knife with the SL-9 tag that was found in Edgeworth's car muffler, wrapped in Lana's scarf.   Meekins is incoherent so Phoenix  writes it off - but I don't.  

Twin Goodmans AND identical knives is too much even for this series.  And that means the real lie is about the time.  Goodman was not in the evidence room and the parking garage simultaneously.  He was in the evidence room first, perhaps? Getting the knife?    But the security video must have timestamps...

I really want to see this security tape now.   So we take our meat back to the police department, only to find Gant bullying the chief on duty. You.  YOU ARE EVIL AND CONFUSING.  I'm going to leave a 1-star review on ratemyvillain if you don't organize your nefarious plot better.

Gant is demanding that everything of Goodman's be found/removed, down to the trash in his wastepaper basket.   (But he's happy to stop and chat with us and slander Edgeworth some more, with a bonus suggestion that Phoenix too is corrupt for having "proved" his innocence last game.)

The duty chief must not like being bullied, because he shows us something he kept back: a lost item report Goodman half-filled-out  on the day of his death.  It doesn't say what was lost.  His ID,  perhaps?

Surprisingly (suspiciously),  Gant is willing to let us investigate the evidence room. He even gives us a guest ID card.   And Marshall finally deigns to show up to work, though with the clear intention of not actually doing any.

Meat:  deployed Marshall:  impressed Me: ...those two ARE dating, and moreover communicating in a secret code of boxed lunches.    It suits them.

"Steak filet lunch" apparently signals "render all assistance".   Marshall willingly admits he's a grade-A slacker and doesn't even bother to understand the security system.  (That explains the lasso.)  He still doesn't want to tell us what the SL-9 case was about, but reminds us it was officially closed two days ago on evidence transfer day.    

(That's the key to everything that happened  on the day of the murder, isn't it?  Goodman took the knife (and maybe more?) from the evidence room to keep it from being permanently "archived".   He was killed for it - but someone protected it by hiding it in the car muffler, and now it's in the court record.    That knife must be the key to solving SL-9.   ...And that's why Gant showed up at the courtroom! He must be *so pissed* that this deadly piece of  evidence is back in the public eye, it's a real danger to him.  Okay! Now I have the shape of what we're dealing with.)

Marshall hasn't bothered to look at the security tape, but from what Meekins told us, other officers have.   (Wait. Is that a safe assumption?  Since all that matters is Gant's official talking points. they could simply be claiming the tape shows Meekins stabbed Goodman.   I'd say this was implausible but I live in the US in 2020. ) 

Ooh, this looks useful - a list of every use of the card reader on the day in question.  4 different IDs are recorded.  2 of them must belong to Goodman and Meekins.   One is nothing but sevens, that's certainly not ominous.  

Next: the evidence room!

[shireness-says]

Election Day

Summary: This is, arguably, the stupidest thing her best friend has ever done. So how in the hell did Charlie Jones get dragged into it? A 5B Divergence 'verse future snippet. ~1.8K. Rated T for language. Also on AO3.

A/N: @snidgetsafan and I plotted this out a couple of months ago, and it remains an absolutely ridiculous idea. Hopefully in a good way. I love the dynamic of these two idiots.

Tagging: @thejollyroger-writer, @profdanglaisstuff, @captainsjedi, @ultraluckycatnd, @superchocovian, @snowbellewells, @killianjones4ever82, @ohmakemeahercules, @let-it-raines, @lifeinahole27, @kmomof4, @scientificapricot, @spartanguard, @courtorderedcake, @justanotherwannabeclassic, @teamhook, @thisonesatellite

Enjoy, and let me know what you think!

~~~~~~

“This is the stupidest thing we’ve ever done,” Charlie grumbles to her best friend - former best friend? That may depend on the next two weeks - from their table in front of the town gazebo. Their campaign table. For the mayoral campaign that Vera decided to stage.

You can’t make this shit up.

Honestly, it fucking figures that this is how Vera Mills-Locksley would stage a bout of teenage rebellion. Vera had inherited none of the malevolence but all of the attitude of her mothers - biological and adopted. Generally, that means she’s more bark than bite, more prone to mouthing off than actually doing anything (or at least doing anything genuinely shitty - Charlie’s found herself helping with more than her share of insane ideas over the years). There had been an incident last month about curfew, though, after they and Gideon French had got home a little late from a bit of post-football celebrating. Okay, an hour late. Charlie kind of understands why Aunt Regina had blown her top - this was Storybrooke, after all, where anything could happen. It definitely didn’t help that they hadn’t called or texted. It was probably a small miracle that Fitz or Dorothy hadn’t stopped them in the cruiser.

Still. Vera was… well, Vera, and even if the town agrees that she’s generally a good kid, Charlie knows from long experience that she doesn’t like being told what to do. The really unfortunate moment had come when the redhead had realized that she’d turn 18 only two days before the mayoral election - the election that, until then, Aunt Regina was running unopposed in. For an office that would allow Vera to change the curfew time. 

And when you phrase it like that, it’s almost too easy for a teenager with an attitude and an interesting concept of justice to decide that she’s going to run for mayor and drag her best friend along with her.

The Demon Teen in question (title patent pending, and possibly subject to change if it turns out that Charlie can achieve a new level of frustration before the actual election) hums skeptically. “Is it though? What about the time we borrowed your dad’s boat for that party?”

“Ship,” Charlie answers automatically after years spent in the Jones household. Unfortunately, Vera has a point; it definitely wasn’t one of their brighter moments, though in Charlie’s defense, Christian Erikson was just as good a kisser as he was cute. Still, she’d ended up grounded for a month and scraping barnacles, plus treated to a great safe sex refresher course after her dad had discovered Vera and Gideon trying to get things going in one of the crew cabins. All in all, a goddamn shit show. “But fine, second stupidest thing we’ve ever done. You do admit this is stupid, though?”

“Oh, undeniably,” Vera scoffs. “It’s only stupid if we don’t win though.”

“Ok, that is not how it works.”

“Hey, it’s my plan, it works however I want it to. Jeez, it’s almost like you don’t want to be my vice-mayor.”

“Gee, I wonder why,” Charlie mutters under her breath, before continuing less subtly. “That’s not even a thing.”

“Again, my plan, so I say it is.” As some poor unsuspecting townsperson walks by, she quickly plasters on a grin. “Would you like a campaign button?” she calls. “Vote Mills-Locksley for Mayor on November 4th!”

“Okay, so if it’s a thing, what does a ‘vice-mayor’ even do?” Charlie continues once Mr. Harris is out of earshot. 

“Fuck if I know,” Vera admits flippantly. “Look, it’s a good campaign decision. You’re a Jones, and a Charming for that matter. That means something in this town. I may be more charismatic and better suited —” Charlie squawks in protest at that - no one would ever claim that Vera is well suited to be mayor in any reality - but her best friend plows on ahead “— but you’re more…”

“Trustworthy?”

“That’s the one.” You had to give Vera that - she was always fully aware of how people might see her, considering her bloodline, and somehow still managed not to punch people for it. That was more Charlie’s job, anyways. “Now try to look happy, someone’s coming.”

Charlie squints into the distance, only to recognize the familiar gait. “That’s just Dad.”

At least he comes bearing coffee cups from Granny’s. “There’s my favorite candidates!” he calls as he approaches.

“You know I can’t actually serve any office, right?” Charlie questions wryly (not snaps or snarks or any other adjective the look on her father’s face suggests - just questions). “I won’t be eighteen until May. I am literally just a campaign tactic, and a pretty obvious one at that.”

“Play nice, Bean,” her dad murmurs as passes Charlie a travel cup before changing back to a normal volume. “Now, that’s a hot chocolate for you, sweetheart, with cinnamon of course. And Vera, a s’mores mocha for you.”

“Thanks, Captain Jones,” Vera smiles with that politician smile she’s perfected in the past few weeks. Honestly, for a girl who’s never shown a lick of interest in politics in her life - and Charlie’s been there for the vast majority of it, she would know - the redhead sure has adapted quickly.

“I believe that’s more respect than you’ve ever showed me in your life, Miss Mills-Locksley,” the pirate replies with that same wry tone Charlie uses. She had to learn it somewhere, after all. “It would have been much more appreciated when I found you and Gideon French trying to defile my ship, but beggars can’t be choosers, as the saying goes.”

“I think they also say ‘better late than never’,” Vera points out. “Also, ‘what’s done is done’.”

Charlie turns to look at her friend in disbelief. “Really helping your cause, aren’t you?” 

“Out of necessity, diplomacy has become my greatest strength.” God, Charlie hopes she’s kidding. Or being sarcastic. Or literally anything but meaning that sincerely, because the truth of the matter is that there’s only so much a human being can believe and a diplomatic Vera Mills-Locksley isn’t one of those things. 

“Yeah, sure it has,” Charlie settles for mumbling under her breath. Mutinously seems like a good descriptor, here, if she’s looking to become even more like her dad than everyone already claims she is.

(It’s the hair and the ears and maybe a bit of the face, honestly. The eyes and the attitude are all from her mom.)

Vera shoots her a bit of a dirty look, but the plastered-on smile is back only a moment later to schmooze Charlie’s dad. “What can we do for you today, Captain?” she makes sure to emphasize, probably to throw them both off. It would be totally in character, honestly. 

“I was hoping to procure some more buttons please, future Madam Mayor.” 

“Oh my God,” Charlie groans. “How could you have possibly gotten rid of all of those so quickly? We gave you, like, 50 a couple of days ago.” Her dad is arguably - hell, definitely the biggest supporter of this poorly planned campaign. Mom had just kind of rolled her eyes, though Charlie could spot a smile too; Uncle Robin mostly seemed conflicted between pride at Vera’s ambition and disappointment at her effort to spite her mother. And Aunt Regina was flat out pissed, and trying not to show it so that Vera couldn’t accuse her of undermining the sanctity of the election (they were cut from the same cloth, nurture over nature, and Vera totally would). Dad, though… Dad clearly thought that this unexpected campaign was the best and funniest thing to happen in Storybrooke in ages, a callback to his chaos pirate days or something. He handed out buttons at the docks, and at the Sheriff’s station, and at Granny’s - especially if Aunt Regina was there to see it. 

“I’m just here to support the cause,” he says smoothly. Not that Charlie believes that for a second; even though she’s sure he is proud, in his own weird way, it’s definitely for his own entertainment too. She halfway remembers him running for mayor one year when she was a kid just to piss Aunt Regina off. Maybe she’s carrying on the world’s stupidest family tradition or something. 

“Now tell me, Madam Mayor,” he continues, deftly ignoring Charlie’s irritation and general foul mood - seriously, you’d think he’d be more considerate of his daughter - “what will you do first, once you’re elected?”

“Oh, we’re so not winning the election,” Vera snorts.

“Now lass, I wouldn’t be so sure of that. I’m told that the democratic system is full of surprises - ”

Despite Dad’s best attempts at encouragement, Vera just keeps laughing. “Oh no. I won’t. I’m a friggin’ teenager running for mayor, it’s not going to happen. And even if it does, I’ll resign after a week at most. I’ve still got high school and college and drama club, I don’t have time to be mayor.”

“So this is just to get back at your mother, then?” Dad asks. “On the one hand, I’m always happy to see Regina sweat a bit, but as a parent I feel like I shouldn’t encourage this kind of mutiny, lass.”

Charlie takes a sip of her hot chocolate, leaning back to watch the show. Frankly, this looks like it will be the most entertaining part of this whole idiotic affair.

The half a grimace that Vera pulls in response sure is a look, at least. “I mean, kind of? But mostly I’m hoping to get some bargaining power. I figure, if I concede - or at least resign and give the office back to Mom… maybe we can negotiate an extended curfew.”

It’s diabolical, truly. Charlie’s kind of impressed, not that she’ll ever admit it. Her dad clearly is, too, as he barks out a laugh and grins back at Vera. “That’s quite the plan you’ve concocted, Miss Mills-Locksley. A pirate after my own heart. You have my vote.”

“Thanks, Uncle Kil; I’ll be counting on that the Tuesday after next.”

——— 

They do lose, of course; they’re a couple of teenagers running for office, one more willingly than the other. It was inevitable, no matter how many campaign buttons Killian Jones hands out everywhere in town.

There is a negotiation, however, where Vera agrees to give a concession speech supporting her mother’s re-election in return for a revised curfew. The extra hour on Friday and Saturday nights isn’t much, but it feels like a big victory now that all is said and done. Charlie’s just glad it’s over; she certain won’t be pursuing a career in politics. 

(The button, however, stays on her dad’s desk in a special little frame Mom bought just for him. She’s never going to outrun the whole fiasco, but as far as Dad’s concerned, maybe that’s not all bad.)

[asherlockstudy]

I get that interview was HBO forced but it sounds insane when last season, he was saying Jaime needed to get away from her for good. I mean no nice post about Gwen after the last ep. I dont believe it was about not wanting to stir the hornet's nest if him and B didnt get together as he posted a huge loving one about Lena and that was a very controversial part of the plot. If hed know posted a gwen one saying"sorry JB didnt get a happy ending but here's me and Gwen in happier times" i dont get it

I think it’s very weird too…Imma analyze it. Not that I’m gonna reach any solid conclusion but I will just lay out all my thoughts.

Whatever the reason Nik doesn’t post or reply publicly to Gwen is, it has nothing to do with his personal preference for Braime or Jaime x Cersei. Even if we make the insane assumption that Nik appreciated that Jaime dumped Brienne to return to murderous Cersei and die with her without serving any purpose in the main plot (what lead actor of 8+ years would ever like being unimportant in the ending plot) and saw “pOeTRy” in it, it still doesn’t explain why he should prefer posting about Lena over Gwen. We would be naive to think he made a post about Lena and not Gwen because he prefers Cersei to Brienne. So, we still have no clear evidence of what Nik’s private thoughts and feelings are for his character after the ending. 

Here’s what we have: 

We have two interviews: one with HBO rofl and one with that journalist who collaborates with HBO and was an insider (I’m not gonna search his name) in which he stans Jaime’s choices, his love for Cersei and the tragic poetry in it all. Then we have him promoting the episodes and the documentary in his instagram and twitter, however he is entirely emotionally detached from his character and his fate. I would say he lowkey looks entertained in his weird af episode promo videos and secretly amused while filming the “thank you” video after the last episode where he says “Come on, it was great” and suggests a petition for an Arya (huh?) sequel.

We have two videos uploaded on yt with him: one is a video of a stalker in which Nik looks uncomfortable and passes the question to the random guy next to him who apparently happens to be a GOT fan, have an elaborate opinion on the last season, hate D&D and think they threw away Jaime’s beautiful character arc. What are the odds…The second is a skit in Jimmy Kimmel in which Nik drags his own character by making him stupid and clumsy, a sad little being because of his maiming and, most importantly, an unrepentant sister fucker. All of Jaime’s worst qualities displayed for laughs, plus that he’s actually a likeable but very stupid person. The skit ends with a dragon randomly burning him and his family alive and those credits

So, we have straightforward criticism towards D&D by Kimmel and NCW actually participates in it. This is what this skit means - that this level of writing, this kind of lame character and that ludicrous death is something that only Benioff and Weiss would like to produce. And, well, the Olsen sisters (although I think they’re cleverer than that). 

So, we have two videos where NCW’s intentions are dubious AT BEST. 

Then we have all the promos. When left to speak on his own, Nikolaj would say how the ending was beautiful and made sense and he once mentioned he sent a letter to thank them for this genius plot…Right. But then when asked or caught off guard (1:04): 

Nobody tries to sugarcoat it, look at the title of the video: … NCW is ‘happy’.  Then of course we have our Lady and Saviour Gwen who tries not to laugh as Nik struggles to find what to say and not just stand up and flee.

Also, this one. The best one: 

I could make a thousand gifs for this but just watch again the entire video:

0:07 - Gwen’s face when Nik says he thought the script was fantastic

1:13 - “N-no..NO!!!” when asked if he would change something in the ending and Gwen’s reaction to that. Then, our leader Gwen proceeds to mock him: “So, it’s an immaculate- It’s immaculate?” to which Nik impulsively replies: “NO!” and goes on “do you ever read a book and think you want to rewrite this?” which implies, that yes he would want to rewrite it but knows he can’t. 

(3:03 - 3:06) - VERY IMPORTANT ONE. When Gwen wondered who was closer to predicting the actual ending, Nik says “I was, yeah” and OMG look at Gwen’s face. It’s very subtle but she’s trying to communicate with her eyes a “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT” to him without being seen by the interviewer. It’s kind of a wife done with her husband’s shit look tbh, that level of subtlety. And Nik answers back with his eyes in equal subtlety and it’s like he says a “What? I truly was right lol….”. To me, this seems to mean that Nik always knew or feared that D&D would eventually destroy all his work and was eventually proven right. Unless this all is about Dany being killed by Jon but I doubt at this point Nik and Gwen cared enough to go all cryptic and eye communicating for this. No, it was about them. 

3:09 - Nik is surprised and then clearly amused at the information by the interviewer that Kit was the one who came closer with his prediction. He can’t hide his smile and says an ironic “good for him” while looking knowingly at Gwen who then says this must be a lie. This shows that it is known amongst the actors that most of them are disappointed and Kit was one of them. Both Nik and Gwen apparently knew Kit hated his ending too and would never expect this to be how the show would wrap up. BTW that writing and that backlash really got to Kit, I hope he recovers soon. But think about this, Kit went into rehab for stress and alcohol, Emilia was devastated and gave a somewhat concerning interview and Nik’s public behaviour regarding GOT is inconsistent and unpredictable. I am thus assuming the writing of the final season and the backlash fucked them up way more than they let on. 

This interview is a gem but here’s the most important part, perhaps the core of what baffles us: 

1:32 - After all the miserable no-nos poor Nik mumbles, Gwen tells Nik what we all think: “I think it’s just a question, you know? Maybe you want to answer it?”

Of course he’s in a total loss for words. Literally, he doesn’t make any sense. Some incoherent sounds come out of his mouth and that’s it. This can mean two things: either he truly thinks the ending is perfect or the ending made him such a mess that he can’t even process it verbally two years later. 

Either Gwen is much braver and Nik is extemely paranoid or Nik actually has many more restrictions in what he is allowed to say. I believe Gwen wanted Nikolaj to be as open as her about it and she still tries to make him open up but he doesn’t. In all the promos without exception, Gwen looks as if she knows Nik is full of shit and secretly agrees with her. If Gwen knows that for a fact, then we can’t argue and it’s actually what makes sense anyway. Nikolaj agrees with Gwen but is not eager to discuss it openly yet, or ever. This could be because he is very professional or because he doesn’t want to get a bad name as a “backstabber” of his projects or it might be a situation of a more sensitive nature. 

If those rumours that the S8 script was changed are true, then Nik and Lena might have had a serious breakdown with D&D and a negotiation might have taken place. For instance, Nik and Lena were really unnecessary in E6, Nik’s scene in E1 could have been eliminated as well and Lena does not appear in E3. Yes, they are big actors but paying them 1,2 million for every episode seems a tad excessive when Emilia and Kit are now famous too and have like 300% times more screentime. All this is wild speculation but maybe they stretched their appearance in the episodes as much as possible and gave them a good amount of money to agree on the butchering of their characters and their importance as former lead actors. I mean, especially Lena was downgraded to a secondary character in this season. Lena had to really fight to see her salary rise in the previous seasons. And now it’s a million for every episode? Wow. How many minutes was she staring out of the window in S8? Maybe they were silenced and payed a shitload of money to stop complaining and promote the show and praise the writing as what it was supposed to be. Maybe they payed them in order to promote Peter, Kit and Emilia for the Emmys instead, who knows. When so much money is involved, things can get frustrating in ways we don’t even fathom. This is wild and rough speculation but all I’m saying is there may be reasons Nik avoids talking freely about his character that we can’t know. 

Besides, it’s not just a Gwen problem. It is not a Gwen problem. Gwen revealed she sent a “Jaime is a fuckboi” meme to Nik privately and he answered playfully as ever (but again as if he’s in denial). They posted a story together a couple of weeks ago. Nik did not just ignore Gwen’s instagram post. Daniel Portman posted the photo and tagged Nikolaj too. Nik ignored him as well. Bryan Cogman, who Nik and Gwen owe a lot to, commented under the photo in a very sweet and emotional way. Guess what, Nik ignored him too! It’s ridiculous to think Nikolaj has stopped communicating and caring about Gwen AND Daniel AND Bryan just because his character returned to Cersei. Furthermore, the fact that they all keep tagging him shows they don’t think their relationships with him have become tense. 

That’s not it. It’s not about Gwen. The only way that Gwen is involved in all this is that she wants Nikolaj to open up so that he would give a little acknowledgement to her character and the relationship with Jaime because she feels very much for Brienne. I’m sad to say, however, that it seems to me that Nik did not take that blow more lightly than Gwen. In fact, his behaviour is more inconsistent and troubling whereas Gwen’s openness about it made her confront that sore subject more healthily after all. I start believing Nik was actually way more devastated than Gwen. At least Brienne remained a decent character, ever faithful to her ideals, ever innerly strong. Jaime was entirely trashed, let alone that he was supposed to be a main character. If Nik can’t even handle a photo that reminds him of his destroyed character arc, I wouldn’t be surprised. Maybe Gwen wants Nik to open up so much for his benefit as well - he keeps it bottled up and she might know first hand how that affects him.

Long story short, the reasons Nik doesn’t post anything about his feelings for Jaime’s character arc, his relationship with Brienne and his collaboration with Gwen probably are both professional, after begrudging deals and agreements and restrictions from HBO, and very personal, inner and private, as he’s still trying to cope with a disappointment that crushed down on him from what used to be his dream job and a role he hoped would be a (or the) peak of his career. I bet all these years Nik was hopeful Jaime would be extremely important and fully redeemed in the end but also extremely scared and anxious that the writers won’t give him what he hoped for and what made sense. Would I exaggerate if I said this should be the biggest professional disappointment he ever experienced, provided that he didn’t like the character’s ending? 

From everything Gwen has said about him, I have surmised that Nik is very emotional and anxious but with a very blasé and superficially amiable attitude. He avoids expessing emotion in real life which is why he might be dissociating a lot lately. He tries to distance himself from that part of Jaime’s character that involved Bryan and Gwen because this is the part that he loved and lost. Honestly, I can’t think of any other logical reason he ignored Gwen, Dan and Bryan one after the other and never made a post about his own character specifically or his good times with Gwen. It’s obviously not that he suddenly hates all of them to the point of not even replying. Even if HBO restricts him on what he can say in interviews for a while, there is no other explanation for this other than that D&D’s genius writing fucked him up emotionally as much as Emilia and Kit and he does not want to deal with it even though Gwen probably thinks it would be for the best if he did. 

Now after I wrote all this, imagine if Nikolaj actually doesn’t give a shit and is just happy going on with his life while I am here wasting time. But… I don’t think so. I will never not believe Nik didn’t love Jaime to pieces. He had big dreams for this role, I am sure of it. 

[imitationpersonne]

Monoma Is Self-Aggrandizing

Apologies if having this response in two places is annoying, but I feel it needs to be done (plus I added/altered a bit). Please note I’m not singling out the blog I will be mentioning or any who support it. My purpose is simply to reply to said opinion in a way that can actually be seen in the tags instead of ignored as a reblog. Because I feel like the information is important. I believe many have a misguided, simplistic perception of Monoma, for some reason, and the post I am replying to is just an example of the perspective of which I would like to disillusion the fandom.

It seems to be a baffling stance circulating the tags that not only does Monoma have no superiority/inferiority hangups, defensive insecurities, or self-promoting priorities, but some people are actually annoyed with people who do think this? The post I am replying to will be linked in a reblog immediately following my submission of this post. I’ve heard rumors posts don’t show up in their proper tags if they contain links? Better safe than sorry.

In regards to the post to-be-reblogged, allow me to both rebut what was proposed and explain Monoma’s situation more correctly. Hopefully others will no longer be annoyed and will better understand his character.

I find it interesting the to-be-mentioned post uses the particular scene of Tokage seeking Monoma’s forgiveness after her joint training match loss...considering he’s clearly being condescending to her there, more obvious in the next couple of panels. I’m not quoting it exactly, but he implies he is pleased to see his naive, unpolished little classmates grow and learn from their mistakes. He’s looking down on her in almost a ‘senpai’ sort of way, guiding his precious lambs closer to reaching his level. Yes, he’s slightly more subtle about it than I am being here to make a point, but the subtext is very much there. Concealing his arrogance in ‘kindness’ is easier to get away with and harder to criticize, as can be seen in parts of the Monoma fandom that echo the perception of the mentioned post. He got ya, LOL.

But yes, he wants to keep his allies and has little reason to heckle his friends, so his form of self-aggrandizement to his classmates tends to take on more of a ‘benevolent’ patronization rather than antagonism. Notice, he doesn’t shoulder the burden of defeat with Tokage as if he were a part of the losing party. He separates himself from the potential to wound his pride by making it a teaching moment of loss his classmates had to learn from--and not necessarily himself. A rather innocuous maneuver, but make no mistake that he was giving himself a way in which he could distance himself from the ego blow of defeat.

No, he’s not the kind of narcissist like Bakugou who pushes almost everyone away; he makes allies and charms people, stands up for his group. But that’s the ‘lovely’ thing about narcissists--there are different kinds. Including kinds that, coincidentally, thrive off the success of the group they are a part of. However, this doesn’t preclude said narcissist from also being full of themselves even to their friends and allies. One of these days, I’m going to make a masterpost of Monoma in canon (and extended canon) being kind of an arrogant dick to his classmates, because...there are a lot of examples. But for now, have an excerpt of an official audio clip, the source of which will be linked in the following reblog.

“Plus, while Shiozaki-san is nowhere on my level, she scored rank 4 while being admitted to U.A. She has the capabilities fitting of  the one who scored 4th place on the obstacle course, you know? An extra like you could never win against her!”

Case in point. Monoma absolutely promotes class B, as it is his class and thus, the best. But he likes to imply he’s the best of them, more advanced or at least the ringleader, that they would be lost without him. Class B always gets a good word, but he’d like the best word to fall upon himself. He wants that spotlight, among his peers.

Is that to say he doesn’t care for his classmates? Not at all. But to try to insist a character is so black-and-white as to be wholly others-serving or only self-serving is simplistic and naive. Especially with Monoma, who doesn’t actually magically switch personalities like a Yugioh knockoff when he’s with his peers. He changes the form of his attitude (supported by his underlying character and motivations) depending on who he is interacting with, but he is absolutely still in the business of wanting himself to look good, alongside his associates whom he both needs and wants to look good. Insisting he must be encouraging/supporting his team for either their sake or his own is a false dichotomy. He can absolutely do both at the same time. Thank you.

So...it’s quite sad to me when others miss the many, many instances of superiority subtext and deny that he obviously has a complex. A compensatory-narcissistic one, in which he is sensitive to being seen as inferior and thus inflates his ego defensively. He has to be good, up to his own high standards, and simply must deny any damning evidence to the contrary. So. Can it not be enough to accept a wonderfully complex character for what he is instead of making him into a false angel he is not? His classmates acknowledge his flaws and accept him anyway. Can we not follow their example? It’s okay to have imperfections and hangups. It makes characters real. It makes them beautiful.

[closetofanxiety]

NXT to the Main Roster: A Haphazard Examination, Part 2 (2016)

More wrestlers went from NXT to the main roster(s) in 2016 than in any other year, so I want to examine it separately in my ongoing question to determine whether getting a coveted spot on Raw or Smackdown (or a less coveted spot on 205 Live) likely means stagnation and disappointment. Again, the grades here are for the way these wrestlers have been presented to the WWE audience, not for the wrestlers themselves. Except, I guess, for the F handed out to Big Cass.

Sami Zayn

Call-up date: January 24. The perfect underdog babyface at the top of the card in NXT (a role they’re currently trying to give Johnny Gargano), Zayn has had a respectable but mostly unspectacular run on the big shows. While they were never going to build main event storylines around him the way NXT did, after his initial feud with eternal lifemate Kevin Owens, he kind of drifted around the middle of the pack without a clear character or motivation. Hampered by injuries, his heel turn was initially masterfully handled: by saving Kevin Owens from Shane McMahon, Zayn was, in the immediate aftermath, allowed to seem conflicted, uncertain, and anxious about what he’d done. It looked like there was going to be real character development, and then, in a few months, he was challenging Bobby Lashley to obstacle course races. 

Grade: C

Eva Marie

Call-up date: March 28. WE DIDN’T DESERVE HER. She could have been a sensational, crowd-baiting heel, as she was LOATHED by the super nerds in the WWE audience, who hated that she couldn’t wrestle and was only getting pushed for her looks. I mean, the same was true of Lex Luger ZING. Anyway, it wasn’t too be, and we’re left to wonder what could have been.

Grade: F/Incomplete

Baron Corbin

Call-up date: April 3. Big Banter has grown into the role that is probably the top-dollar best he can hope for in the WWE: a sneering heel near the top of the midcard who can talk well and wrestle well. He’s a plug-and-play guy for babyfaces who are being kept on the stove while the main event picture sorts itself out, and he does great at it. I saw Baron Corbin wrestle Tommy Dreamer at an NXT show in Albany once and thought, “This guy suxxxx.” But he has proved me wrong! Good for Big Breakfast Constable Corbin.

Grade: B+

Enzo Amore

Call-up date: April 4. I’ll go on record as saying he was used well as the shitty heel champion in 205 Live. Everyone hated him, and that was his role. That was probably his ceiling: top hate figure on the ‘C’ show, but we’ll never know.

Grade: F/Incomplete

Big Cass

Call-up date: April 4. His attitude and behavior must have really been something for Vince McMahon, The Big Man Liker, to so quickly part with a big man who could talk and was at least more adept in the ring than, say, the Great Khali. After the split with Enzo, they didn’t really seem to know what they were doing with him, so I’m not entirely sure we missed out on a legendary career or anything.

Grade: F/Incomplete

Apollo Crews

Call-up date: April 4. This decision remains a head scratcher. Crews made his NXT TV debut on August 22, 2015, and in less than eight months, was debuting on Raw. Although he’s an incredibly talented wrestler, I don’t know that his NXT stint was quite the rocket to the top that would justify this. Since his debut, he’s been totally lost in the shuffle and without a discernible character. His most significant match to date was a losing bid for the Intercontinental championship against The Miz on an episode of Smackdown. The Titus Worldwide stuff has helped, but not much.

Grade: C-/D+

Aiden English

Call-up date: April 7. Rusev DAAAAYYYEH. If it weren’t for his alliance with Big Matchka, English would be staring down the barrel of a D+. Initially arrived on the main roster as a tag team with Simon Gotch, the two had an undistinguished run that included Smackdown tag title tournament losses to the Hype Bros and Breezango. Now that he’s the guy who stiffly raps before Rusev comes out, English is basking in his Mizdow Moment. When it ends, though, what will become of the Operatic Superstar?

Grade: C-

Simon Gotch

Call-up date: April 7. His gimmick had a lot of potential: the super old-timey wrestler in a postmodern, post-kayfabe world. It never really got off the ground, though, and while his team with Aiden English worked at Full Sail, Vince’s dim view of tag teams generally, plus the material they were given, meant it didn’t have much of a shot on the big stage. WWE let the trademark on his name expire, which tells you a lot.

Grade: F

Dana Brooke

Call-up date: May 9. After kind of a hot start that I’ve largely forgotten - she was heel Charlotte’s protege, remember? - she quickly settled into the rut of main roster women’s booking, which tends to consist of two women fighting over the title and then everyone else forming an amorphous backdrop, occasionally emerging for random six-person tags involving the main eventers. Dana did eliminate Kairi Sane at the first-ever Women’s Royal Rumble, so that’s something, I guess. Since November, she’s been one of the few people in the company with a manager role, as an Alexandra York figure in Titus Worldwide. 

Grade: C-

Mojo Rawley

Call-up date: July 24. Did you know Zack Ryder’s been in the WWE system since 2006? He’s incredible. He’s like one of those NBA guys who you see playing five minutes in a playoff game, years after you assumed they had retired. Anyway, Mojo Rawley. He’s done as well as he’s ever likely to do, destroying Ryder after a heel turn, feuding with No Way Jose, and no longer being hyped. His main roster run hasn’t been disappointing, largely because his NXT run was about the same thing, minus the heel turn.

Grade: C

Nia Jax

Call-up date: July 25. Rock’s cousin or no, she’s managed to remain above the midcard scrum in the women’s division by having a unique look, as the only credible monster in the locker room. She has the problem that all monsters have sooner or later, which is: what do they do after getting beaten? In her case, it was a clumsy face turn in a bullying-themed angle with Alexa Bliss that didn’t do much for either woman. Still, because of her size and ability, she’s always somewhere near the top of the card, something that’s unlikely to change.

Grade: B

Finn Bálor

Call-up date: July 25. To my mind, he’s one of the few wrestlers who’s been better served on the main roster than he was in NXT. He’s the longest-reigning NXT champion so far, but his tenure there seems largely forgettable apart from his Beast in the East match against Kevin Owens and the bloodbath against Samoa Joe at Takeover: Dallas. On the main roster, he’s regularly near the top of the card, with his painted demon character receiving the holy-shit treatment, as we saw at SummerSlam. He’s become one of their most recognizable stars and the company clearly loves him.

Grade: A

Alexa Bliss

Call-up date: July 26. One of the best examples I can think of that demonstrates how a turn can elevate a wrestler, she went from boring, sparkly cheerleader to the top woman in NXT by becoming a heel. Initially the manager of the lookalike midcard tag team of Make and Blurphy, it was clear from the start she was bound for greater things. She’s been the signal success story of the WWE System in developing stars, as opposed to repackaging stars from the indies, Japan, and Mexico: Bliss is, if not quite a mainstream star, one of the most recognizable women in the company, constantly on top of the women’s roster, and winning raves for her incredible microphone work. Nerds who complain she isn’t good at wrestling probably wouldn’t have understood Abdullah the Butcher either.

Grade: A+

Carmella

Call-up date: July 26. OH THE IRONY! When she managed Enzo and Big Cass in NXT, she was despised by the Full Sail nerds, who would chant “you can’t wrestle” at her. Two years later, and here we are: Real1 is making unlistenable hip hop tracks for his Instagram stories, Big Cazz is set to make his indie debut for Big Time Wrestling in Spartanburg, S.C., and Carmella is coming off a 131-day run as Smackdown Women’s Champion, having beaten Asuka in matches on pay-per-view and free TV. She’s not at Alexa’s level as a heel - not many people are - but she’s done a great job of establishing herself in a women’s roster that suffers from way too many bland characters and storylines.

Grade: B+/A-

Jason Jordan

Call-up date: August 2. Listen, Vince hates tag teams. American Alpha was a red-hot team in NXT, where they got over thanks to their phenomenal work inside the ring. But even there, they were kind of bland as individuals. On the main roster, where tag teams rarely last, this spelled trouble. Jordan has been hampered by injuries, but even without that he’s a man adrift, the highlight of his tenure so far being the kayfabe revelation that he’s Kurt Angle’s son, which has mostly been treated as an afterthought. 

Grade: D

Chad Gable

Call-up date: August 2. Second verse, same as the first. They tried to spark some of that American Alpha magic after disbanding American Alpha by pairing Gable with Shelton Benjamin, with predictable results. I don’t think Gable’s been on television since May, and he’s not injured. He apparently feuded with Mike Kanellis on Main Event back in June, to give you some idea. He taped a thing for WWE’s social media channels with amateur wrestling god Dan Gable, which I liked, so there’s that.

Grade: D

Bayley

Call-up date: August 22. I will admit here that I did not “get” her gimmick in NXT. It just always seemed vaguely unsettling, and now we know that it led to the Cult of Izzy. That aside, she had an undeniable connection with the audience, largely thanks to her palpable enthusiasm and tremendous in-ring skill. I never really bought the commonplace line that she could become the female John Cena, mostly because I think that underestimates how much of Cena’s appeal comes from the fact that half the audience hates him. But she’s a true-blue babyface in a company that doesn’t really know what to do with true-blue babyfaces, and so her main roster stint has been something of a disappointment. It’s weirdly fitting that she’s locked into this seemingly endless frenemies storyline with Sasha Banks, another woman who was adored in NXT and who hasn’t really found her footing on the main roster.

Grade: C

Rich Swann

Call-up date: September 19. He had his moments in 205 Live, but it was clear his off-kilter personality and presentation were not what they had in mind as the Face of the Division. They were trying to mold him into what they have with Mustafa Ali or Cedric Alexander, when they would have been better off trying to make Swann the Dean Ambrose of the cruiserweights. Instead, well, we know what happened instead.

Grade: F/Incomplete

Austin Aries

Call-up date: December 18. I have a theory that Vince McMahon thought Austin Aries was Bobby Roode, and that when they hired the real Bobby Roode, Vince immediately said, “Well, then who the fuck is this guy?” 

Grade: F

[dipulb3]

2021 GMC Yukon Denali first drive review: From luxury pretender to legitimate contender

New Post has been published on https://appradab.com/2021-gmc-yukon-denali-first-drive-review-from-luxury-pretender-to-legitimate-contender-4/

2021 GMC Yukon Denali first drive review: From luxury pretender to legitimate contender

From the blue-collar Chevy Tahoe to the stately Cadillac Escalade to the GMC Yukon in between, General Motors’ family of large, truck-based SUVs has been a huge seller over the years. Despite their popularity, these vehicles have not necessarily been the most premium, versatile or passenger friendly, though these shortcomings — and others — have been addressed for 2021. Thanks to a much-needed redesign, the GMC Yukon Denali has been transformed from a luxury pretender into a legitimate contender. 

Independence day 

Arguably, the single most important change made to these full-size family-haulers is the addition of an independent rear suspension, something rivals like the Ford Expedition have had for decades. Ditching the old live axle allowed engineers to add significant amounts of passenger and cargo space, but that’s not the only reason why it’s more capacious. For 2021, the Yukon has grown. Its wheelbase is up by nearly five inches and the body has been extended by more than six.   

Altogether, these changes get you a whopping 66% more room behind the third-row seat. Indeed, it is usefully spacious back there, roomy enough to house a couple pieces of rollaboard luggage or a whole mess of grocery bags. With everything folded flat, there’s now just shy of 123 cubic feet of junk-hauling capacity, a cavernous amount of room that actually makes the standard Yukon more capacious and an Expedition Max, the extended-length model that competes with the even bigger Yukon XL. 

Augmenting that independent rear, this GMC offers several different suspension setups. Coil springs with passive dampers support lower-tier models, but magnetic-ride shocks are also offered with coil springs. The top-shelf arrangement, however, features four-corner air bladders and those fancy magnetic dampers, which is what my Denali tester has. 

Unfortunately, ride quality isn’t as good as you might expect. Even with fancy shocks and air bags this vehicle feels unnecessarily stiff and plodding, likely due to the massive 22-inch wheels. Going over bumps, you still get some body-on-frame jiggles, but live-axle shimmies have been exorcised. The Yukon’s ass-end remains as planted as a fully grown oak tree, even when driven over nasty washboard surfaces. Body roll in corners is minimal and the steering is serviceable. 

There is an absolute ton of space back here.

Craig Cole/Roadshow

As they should be, this vehicle’s front chairs are hospitable for hours at a stretch, plus they’re heated and ventilated. But at long last, the Yukon’s rear seats offer plenty of comfort, too. 

With their lower cushions roughly chair-height above the floor, the second-row buckets are backside friendly and plenty adjustable. But thanks to that independent rear suspension, even the third-row is downright coddling, something you could never say about the outgoing Yukon’s rear-most bench, which was a no-grown-man’s land. Adults relegated to steerage in the 2021 model will have little to complain about as there’s plenty of support and loads of headroom and legroom. 

Interior improvements   

Setting the Denali apart from lesser Yukons and the Chevrolet Tahoe is a special interior and I’m not just talking about color and trim. The dashboard design is actually different, with unique air vents and a neatly integrated 10.2-inch multimedia display instead of a more freestanding screen of the same size. 

Not bad, GMC, not bad at all.

Craig Cole/Roadshow

GM infotainment systems have been killing it lately and this one is superb. It boots up almost instantly when you start the engine and it responds with immediacy. There’s no lag or stutters while swiping through menus or zooming in or out on the map. Aside from outstanding performance, this multimedia array is clearly laid out and exceptionally easy to use. 

Integrated navigation is standard in Denali models but optional on lower-end Yukons. Across the range, support for wireless Apple CarPlay and Android Auto is included, though SLT, AT4 and Denali models also come with a wireless charging pad at no extra charge (no pun intended).

Justifying its premium pricing, this GMC’s cabin is attractive and loaded with quality materials. Two kinds of leather are used, one with a fine grain and another that’s much rougher looking. At first, I thought the coarse cow hide seemed a bit crude, like elephant skin or something, but I’ve grown to like it because it’s used sparingly and provides a nice bit of contrast. 

Matching that leather, this Yukon’s various switches and dials look nice and feel high in quality. Even the dashboard-mounted electronic shifter is an unexpected winner. Comprised of buttons and toggles, it looks fiddly, but it’s easy to reach and intuitive. About the only thing that’s cheap feeling in the new Yukon is the windshield-wiper/turn-signal stalk, which, in typical GM fashion, is as rubbery as overcooked chicken.   

Life-sized adults will now comfortably fit in the Yukon’s third-row seat.

Craig Cole/Roadshow

A pair of 12.6-inch second-row entertainment displays are included in the pricey $11,180 Yukon Denali Ultimate Package, which also bundles features like those 22-inch wheels, power-retractable running boards, four-corner air suspension and adaptive cruise control. Crisp and responsive, these touchscreens make it easy for passengers to consume their favorite media, plus they even have access to the vehicle’s navigation system so they can put a destination in for the driver.   

In case you needed yet another screen in your life, Yukon Denalis also feature a 15-inch multicolor head-up display. It’s super legible, even in sunlight, and it’s easy to adjust the positioning and brightness via a few dedicated buttons on the dashboard.

A mostly pleasant drive 

Three engines will be available in the new Yukon. A 355-horsepower, 5.3-liter V8 serves base duty while a 6.2-liter unit is optional, though standard on Denalis. Smooth running and quiet, that big-ish-block V8 packs a punch, 420 horsepower and 460 pound-feet of torque to be exact. 

Both gasoline engines are available right now, but before the end of the year, GM’s excellent 3.0-liter Duramax inline-six diesel found in the Silverado and Sierra half-ton trucks will also be offered in the Yukon, which could be a gamechanger. No matter the engine, a 10-speed automatic transmission is standard equipment. 

Eight-cylinder engines are just lovely, and the Yukon’s 6.2-liter unit is a delight, both smooth and powerful.

Craig Cole/Roadshow

Underway, this new Yukon’s performance is excellent. My tester’s 6.2-liter V8 is silken and plenty potent, though I do wish it had a bit of exhaust rumble, because it sounds like, well, pretty much nothing. As for the transmission, it’s just as delightful, shifting smartly and seamlessly. But it’s kind of funny, with so many gears it sometimes feels like a continuously variable transmission because the RPM drop following each upshift is miniscule. 

According to the EPA, this Yukon Denali should deliver 14 miles per gallon in city driving and 19 on the highway. Combined, it’s rated at a scowl-inducing 16 mpg. Fortunately, in real-world, mixed driving I’ve managed to beat that figure, averaging around 18, which isn’t quite as frightening. 

Being the size of a Navy destroyer and weighing more than 5,800 pounds in four-wheel-drive Denali trim, you can’t expect this SUV to have cat-like reflexes. It’s undeniably big and heavy, but it doesn’t feel quite as enormous as it actually is. Making my tester a touch easier to manage is a host of adjustable camera angles, which give you a 360-degree view of the vehicle, plus parking sensors and a rear-view camera mirror.   

As you might expect, the new Yukon offers plenty of driver aids. Things like automatic emergency braking, pedestrian detection and automatic high beams are all standard. Denali models are also graced with blind-spot monitoring and rear cross traffic alert, but curiously, things like that camera mirror and adaptive cruise control are optional. Really, they should be standard at the price GMC is charging. 

Your land yacht awaits.

Craig Cole/Roadshow

A luxury price tag 

So, how much do they want for a 2021 Yukon? Well, a base, rear-wheel-drive SLE model starts around $52,000, which is a totally reasonable figure. In fact, depending on trim, prices have either remained the same as last year or crept up slightly, by not more than $700. But in comparison, my tester rolled off the assembly line in Arlington, Texas with a window sticker of $83,420, including $1,295 in destination charges. That’s a lot of scratch, very similar to a lower-end Mercedes-Benz GLS or Lincoln Navigator, vehicles this GMC actually has some chance of competing with now. 

With additional interior room, greater refinement and more tech, the new Yukon Denali is better than ever. If you’ve got deep pockets and like what you see, check your local GMC dealership, because they’re available right now.

[pearcar93-blog]

Upside Down Walnut, Chocolate, & Pear Cake

Our little back house we are renting is about four miles from the ocean here in Costa Mesa/Newport Beach. We get the foggy marine layer on the mornings it chooses to hang over the coast, and we have a very tempered climate year round. In the past I’ve brushed southern California off as having no seasons, but this just isn’t true. I think with social media these days we see so much in the fall of the iconic leaves changing, and more clearly defined seasons of certain regions of the world, that is has become commonplace to standardize these quarterly shifts. Maybe it’s just me and my tendency to seek out change, but I’m coming around to seeing a more full, open picture. Every little dot of latitude and longitude on the map has it’s own unique characteristics when it comes to seasons, and I’m beginning to appreciate our a-typical southern California ones.

September and October are two of the warmest months here where I live, which is wonderful if you can get past the photos of falls leaves and warms mugs of cocoa elsewhere. Why is it wonderful? The crowds of people have all gone home, the kids are back in school, and the beaches and national parks are now near-empty to enjoy. Around here we call it “locals’ summer”. I don’t do well in the heat, so this time can be tough for me to get through, but November and December are the greatest gift after these few warm months. This is my season, this is the time of year I fall in love with California. The air is chilly and as crisp as you can get with the pacific ocean nearby. The light is the most beautiful light I’ve ever seen. The sunsets make you weak in the knees. And the smell that permeates the entire city is pure heaven. The farmers market is still overflowing, with fall produce finally coming in alongside unlikely jewels such as tomatoes, avocados, oranges, and so many greens (kale, chard, herbs, etc). Local pomegranates are half the size of my head and two dollars a piece.

Approaching Thanksgiving this year, and hosting for the first time with my parents coming into town, I tried pondering a new theme we could base our cooking around that felt more fitting for our area. As is typical this time of year, we have a three day heat bump that lands right over Thanksgiving. Normally I would say something negative about California and how I wish I lived somewhere cooler. But not this year, I’m celebrating where we live. So we are having a California-themed Thanksgiving with dishes made from all of the produce that was overflowing the most at the farmers market this past weekend. Our backyard will be in shade in the late afternoon, so we will set up the table under our twinkle lights and eat outside. Roasting a dozen heavy dishes on a warm day doesn’t sound right to me, so I’m planning a few lighter twists. I’ll be sure to share them on Instagram stories a bit if you’re curious to see what we are making. I’m really excited you guys, it feels good to be going with the grain and not against it for once.

Part of my inspiration to dig deeper into understanding and loving the unique spot in the world where I live came from reading Valentina‘s pages in her new cookbook, Everyday Vegetarian. She lives in a small medieval town on the eastern side of Italy and shares her region’s history and culinary traditions in a way that reads like a poetic novel. From cover to cover you are immersed in recipes and stories that overlap each other into one beautiful picture of her culture. Valentina takes traditional recipes that have been passed down for generations in her family, alongside some newer ones of her own, and shows how to make them vegetarian (and many of them vegan too) without compromising the tradition. It’s beautifully photographed, with such a lovely cover to have sitting out on your kitchen counter too (see photo below recipe). She shows how there is so much more to Italian cooking outside of pasta and tomato sauce (although she has recipes for both from scratch that are incredible) and how to cook throughout the seasons in her nook of the world as well. I want to make every recipe from cover to cover and book a trip to Italy ASAP to experience so much of what she describes.

The first recipe that jumped out to me was her grandma’s upside down prune cake, which she suggests in the fall making with pears, nuts, and chocolate instead. So I did just that, and it was so scrumptious I had to share it with you here too! I used a mixture of freshly milled flours from the incredible people over at Eat Grain, which I link to individually in the recipe below. You can taste the freshness, and even see it, in these flours. I’ve never experienced anything like it – and the nutrition is suppose to be even better as well! Check out their line on their site here if you’d like, they are shipping anywhere in North America for free for the rest of the year – which is perfect timing for some holiday baking.

I hope those of you celebrating Thanksgiving this week have the most wonderful, joy-filled time. Maybe this cake could even squeeze onto one of your holiday tables too ;). -xx

SHOP MY PANTRY >>

RECIPE NOTES: The recipe below is pretty darn near exact to Valentina’s, with a few small exceptions. Here are the few substitutions I made which you can convert back to the original if you desire to: I use coconut sugar instead of brown sugar, apple sauce instead of sunflower oil, and a mixture of whole spelt and rye instead of whole wheat. I also halved the recipe below and prepared it in a 6 inch springform pan in the photos above, since I knew we would have lots of sweets on hand this week. This worked out really well, but I know I’ll be making the full recipe next time – it was just too good.

UPSIDE DOWN WALNUT, CHOCOLATE, & PEAR CAKE Makes one 10 inch cake, serves 8 to 10.

1 3/4 cups almond or soy milk 1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar 1/4 cup of water 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 1/4 cup unsweetened apple sauce (or sunflower oil) juice and zest of 1 lemon 1 cup coconut sugar, plus 1 teaspoon for the pan 1 cup of sifted spelt flour (white) 3/4 cup whole spelt flour 1/4 cup whole rye flour 1/3 cup potato starch 1 heaping teaspoon baking soda 1 heaping teaspoon baking powder 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon pinch of salt 15 small pears 1/3 cup chopped raw walnuts 1/3 cup chopped dark chocolate

optional: extra chopped walnuts and dark chocolate for sprinkling on top

Preheat the oven to 350F. Line a 10-inch springform pan with parchment paper and lightly oil the sides (I forgot to oil mine and it still removed itself nicely, but it is probably safer to do so). Sprinkle about a teaspoon of coconut sugar on the bottom.

Combine the sifted (white) spelt, whole spelt, and rye flour with the potato starch, baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon, salt, coconut sugar, and lemon zest in a large bowl and whisk to remove any lumps (I sifted mine, and added the sugar and zest afterwards).

In a large glass measuring cup, combine the almond or soy milk, vinegar, and lemon juice and stir. After a few seconds, the milk will start to curdle. Immediately add the water, applesauce (or sunflower oil), and vanilla. Stir well. Slowly pour this into the dry mix, stirring with a whisk to break any lumps. The batter will be somewhat on the liquid side.

Core each pear and slice into 1/4 inch thick wedges. Arrange in a circle in the prepared springform pan, until the bottom is completely filled. Sprinkle the chopped walnuts and dark chocolate on top, and slowly pour the cake batter into the tin. Bake for 40 to 50 minutes (mine took 50), until cooked through when tested in the center with a toothpick. Once cooked and golden on top, turn off the oven and let it sit inside for 5 minutes more.

Remove the cake from the oven and release from the springform pan onto a wire rack. Flip upside down so that the pears are on top, and peal away the parchment paper. This is optional, but while the cake is warm I sprinkled some dark chocolate on top, and when it had melted I added a small handful of additional chopped walnuts. Once fully cooled, slice and serve the cake. Store leftovers in an airtight container on the counter, or in the fridge (it’s really good cold), and enjoy within three days.

This recipe was originally found in the cookbook Everyday Vegetarian, and is being republished here with Valentina’s permission. See more of her beautiful work on her blog, Hortus Cuisine, and on Instagram. 

I love seeing what you create! Be sure to tag your photos on Instagram with #FWmakers.

This post contains affiliate links (they are underlined for clarity). Purchases you make through these links will help fund the work I do here on Faring Well at no extra cost to you. Thank you sincerely for your constant love and support.

Naturally Vegetarian by Valentina Solfrini O R D E R  H E R E

Source: http://faring-well.com/upside-down-walnut-chocolate-pear-cake/

[ark-of-eden]

R is drunk and raving (not in the party way).

(R:) Additionally, I’m procrastinating like a fucking champion at working on fic construction, so you know the best use of my time is going off about random social media crap on the internet.

tl;dr: Putting all commentary in tags on Tumblr makes R cry and shit thousands of words into the Internet.

Every social media site inevitably develops sets of unwritten social conventions. Some of them actually make sense as being derived from meatspace etiquette and therefore you don’t really have to stress about remembering them as long as you play nice like a decent creature.

And some of them just don’t make any fucking sense that I can see. Folks on Twitter using a deliberately space-limited form of media to write a page’s worth or more in a string of 30+ rapidfire tweets? This is just how it’s done over there? (Tweetlonger exists but for some reason these massive chain-tweeters never seem to use it. Same with posting the whole thing in a long-form site like LJ/DW/Tumblr and just linking it to a tweet.)

And Tumblr has things that I literally had to put effort into learning after I migrated here, and after I learned about them I frankly decided to ignore them because I couldn’t see the point in them. Tumblr has this bizarre allergy to commentary and, likely derived from that, the practice of instead commenting by putting it all in awkward tags that render the tagging system not especially useful and are harder to get to if you’re actually interested in an individual’s thoughts about a thing and not just the twelfth instance of the same post crossing your dash in a day or two. It’s not like you can’t engage with people, because asks and messaging and such exist, but like...there’s this strong sense that it’s Terribly Ill-Mannered to weigh in with your own impressions right there, in the body of the post, typing your own words in that seductive, wide-open text box that appears all on its own when you go to reblog something. The properly-socialized Tumblrite eschews that tempting text field and instead posts weird sentence fragments in tag form (interspersed with actual tags that might serve to usefully categorize the post’s content), to the extent that some people can add on a good couple paragraphs of material down among the hashtags where others need to go looking for it on purpose if they want it. (I, at least, haven’t been able to find a plugin or something that automatically expands full tags on all posts so that I don’t have to fuck around with extra interface elements to get to them. I admit that I haven’t looked super hard, though.)

Preserving the original form of the OP’s post is a noble practice that I heartily support, but how is adding commentary a problem if you’re only adding a separate thing, not taking away or altering anything in the original...? This was already a practice/convention/code of social interaction on Tumblr when I got here, so I was never in the front row to witness this element taking shape. I suppose it must have made good sense at the time, but every time I see ten people reblogging the same post with no additions and a paragraph of tags appended to it, it’s like a splinter in my brain that has been digging into me for years now.

And I’m not hating on people who do that! I get that that’s The Way It’s Done Here and I am the deviant weirdo for continually adding comments directly onto things that I reblog. Tags are where individuality lives here, unless you’re producing your own original posts, which I guess other people are then supposed to reblog without commentary so that you have to go hunting after all the reblogs individually if you want to get an actual sense of what these people were all thinking when they reblogged your thing. It all just seems...so...WORK INTENSIVE, refusing to use site functions as they were intended??

Look, I absolutely know that my commentary is not the work of incisive genius that unfailingly adds value to every post I find worthy of my attention. We’re pretty much solid shitposting on this blog. Because I’m a little loaded at the moment and that gives me a handy excuse to run my fingers like an idiot (plus I put that readmore up there, so if your eyes are actually consuming these words, you have only yourself to blame for being here), let me run down relevant history of how we got here.

LJ was home for a good long while. Then shit got seriously messed up and Dreamwidth was created as a better LJ, so we migrated all our stuff over there. And journaling sites along those lines still feel like a native environment. I, in particular, am the most long-winded piece of shit we know and I am honestly incapable of talking about anything of worth in short form. It’s a sickness and I just sort of have to own it. :/ But that’s why journaling sites are a good place for me to live, because that’s where people go when they have the inclination to read meandering scrawls about the depths of other people’s lives or whatever.

We went to Twitter for a good while because all the cool people we knew from LJ were going there for some unfathomable reason. These people wrote things that were complex and fascinating to read, so all of them jumping ship to a place that limited them to 140-character chunks made no damn sense, but we loved those people and wanted to trust that they knew what the hell they were doing. And they probably did, and a couple of us were actually okay with Twitter, but I, being the long-winded shitpiece, spent a lot of time frustrated and kind of overstimulated.

Then things started going to hell more and more consistently for me personally (and us generally by extension, but that’s unnecessary detail). Bunkering down specifically to protect people that you care about from the fallout of your crazy is a fairly common thing for mentally-ill people to do, I think. So I’d shut up online until I felt stable enough to talk to people again. Those periods lasted a few days, then a week or more, then a month, then eventually I stopped talking entirely. I missed the LJ/DW format, but in the past I’d written about life events and things I was thinking about and such, so...at the time, all I really had to write about was the bad stuff. So LJ/DW was basically unusable as well.

I literally came here to be as shallow as I could possibly manage. Tumblr had a rapid, chaotic flow similar to Twitter, but could hold longer content like LJ/DW. We’ve never really used the site’s full functionality at any point, though. For at least a year, all we were following was the most lightweight, zero-calorie entertainment that we could find. (We actually came here for Flight Rising content, so there was a lot of that.) Being engaged with fandom in any consistent respect is an extremely recent thing.

And I’m not saying that fandom hasn’t got depth and complexity because it absolutely does and that’s one of the beautiful things about shared fan experiences. I kind of got into that sort of fandom by accident after getting here and rediscovering Transformers. But the unvoiced policy that I’ve always had here is to avoid the Too Real and dodge serious topics whenever possible. Thus, no gender theory, no neurodivergence or multiplicity, no nonhumanity, no religion or UPG, nothing with real substance behind it that bared real vulnerabilities. (Apparently this was a good move anyway because the nonhuman and multiplicity situation here on Tumblr is a bit of a clusterfuck? I honestly wouldn’t know, as I haven’t made a lot of effort to link up with those folks.) That’s still the policy. That might remain the policy forever until I reach some vaguely-defined threshold of sanity that makes me worthy of talking about those things in places and formats that other people can interact with.

And I’m sorry for all this talk about mental illness, but it’s simpler just to explain things clearly. I likely won’t go into any more detail about it on Tumblr. Or anywhere else, because I care about people even if I’ve never met them or talked to them at all and I still want to keep it all in the bunker to protect good people from the crazy. Sometimes, all you can do is just prevent the damage from spilling out into other people’s lives, and that’s the place that I usually operate from.

I’m still pretty drunk, so I’m allowed to ramble from too much truth serum, but all of that explanation was to get around to saying that the format of online communication that is most intuitive to me is the long, oversharing gut-spill of random people talking about things that are really meaningful to them - not in the sense of elaborate philosophy or artsy epistles to the cosmos, but just people being super real about things that are meaningful to them and going into lots of detail about them because gushing about things you love is great. And it’s possible to get that sort of discussion and gushing in Tumblr fandom, and I love it because it reminds me of better times, and the fact that I love it is WHY IT MAKES ME SO GODDAMN FRUSTRATED that Tumblr culture is basically stifling discussion and feedback and RESPONSE to things that people find interesting!!

Like, here’s how I see it. Unlike on LJ/DW, where you were limited to hyperlinking to a cool post in one of your own posts if you wanted your readers to go check it out, on Tumblr, if you find a super cool thing, you can pull it directly into your space and let other people experience it directly, exactly as you experienced it. But the thing is, I also subscribe to the My Blog My House concept. If I pull a thing into my “home,” I do it because there’s something homelike about it; it belongs in my home for some specific reason. I don’t take “ownership” of an item in the sense that I’m claiming it in place of its creator, but I’m taking ownership of it in the sense that it’s part of my Stuff now and it’ll get my fingerprints all over it and be blended into the general morass of Stuff that I recognize as my home. I don’t just pull random crap into my home for no reason at all.

And I just figure that other people are similar in the sense that they reblog things for distinct, unique reasons, not in the sense that they have some master plan for their blog content (some do, but it’s not necessary), but just that they have compelling reasons why they pick certain bits of content out of the larger river of their dashboard and put it in their own space for people to experience with them. I follow people based on the interesting things that they find interesting. I’m interested in why they’re interested in those things. They seem like interesting people to me because they’re interested in what they’re interested in.

But the WHY is a really important part of the equation for me. Did this person reblog that photo because they’ve been to that place themselves, because they like that kind of tree, because they reblog photos with that color scheme every Thursday? Did that person reblog that piece of art because they love that character, because they’re studying that art medium, because it reminded them of something funny they saw somewhere else? People attach their own context to things that they latch onto. It’s so freaking weird to me that people have to hide their interpretations or impressions in tags here on Tumblr, making them unimportant and optional in the process of sharing things they like with others. (Okay, people also share a lot of things they hate, but reasons for outrage are still part of the context that one adds to content.)

I WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE SHOWING ME. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT MAKES IT IMPORTANT TO YOU. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT MAKES YOU THINK AND FEEL. Even if it’s a blurb about how giant robots fuck or a cute kitten video, I NEED TO KNOW THESE THINGS.

Not in excruciating detail or with insightful analysis or even a lot of text at all. Mostly, the things that people put in tags are things that, to me, are a really crucial part of the experience of being able to go into someone’s “home” and see the Stuff that they chose to put in it. Reducing oneself to a glorified signal repeater is...okay, I guess, though it turns a Tumblr blog into a kind of faceless stream of other people’s material a lot of the time. The personal touch is what makes it all interesting. And I’m just unutterably frustrated that, somewhere along the line, it was decided that personalizing an experience by sharing one’s own impressions of it became rude enough that polite society decided that it had to be hidden away in tags. I want all of it, so I do go looking for it, but omg it requires MORE EFFORT and BURNING CALORIES and BODILY MOVEMENT and WAAAAH, you know what I mean. :P

And possibly Tumblr society is right and it’s done for a good, decent purpose and I’m being pigheaded and uncool by insisting on doing things my way without bothering to try and understand the local customs. I’m not usually that much of an asshole, but I am about this, for some reason. And I admit that my craving for those personal touches could very well spring from how utterly isolated and lonely I am, so maybe normal people really don’t need all the extra info and actually do just want mostly-impersonal streams of content. And that’s fine, since I know I’m kind of a weirdo even on my best days.

I’m pretty sure that that was all that I really wanted to say. I’m probably overreacting about the whole comments-in-tags thing. Like I said, it’s kind of an irrational irritation. Also, I need to stop before I write myself sober and no longer have an excuse for all of this. If you actually read all of that, you are an awesome, generous person and I’m pretty damn certain that I love you even though I have no idea who you are.