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gundemarsivi · 9 months

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İşkence Ders Notlarım

✍🏻 Osman Akyol

https://www.gundemarsivi.com/iskence-ders-notlarim/

Tarih 28 Eylül 1996… Yer Van Otogarı… Yüzüncü Yıl Üniversitesi Fen-Edebiyat Fakültesi Matematik Bölümü’nü bitirdim eve, İstanbul’a dönüyorum. Polislerin yaptığı rutin bagaj aramasında çantamdan, Osmanbey’de bir işportacıdan aldığım, “Devrimci Marşlar ve Ağıtlar” isimli kitap çıktı. Yolcuların şaşkın bakışları altında hemen oracıkta gözaltına alındım. Oysa güne ne güzel başlamıştım…

Bütünleme sınavlarını verip dört gün önce okuduğum bölümden mezun olmuştum. Van’daki dostlarla vedalaşalım falan derken kurdeleye sarılı diplomayı (geçici mezuniyet belgesini) daha henüz açmamıştım, şöyle karşısında efkârlı bir sigara yakıp, daha doğrusu bu sevinci beni evde bekleyen İstanbul’daki karımla birlikte yaşayacaktım…

Dile kolay, dört yıl bu diploma için Van’ın karını, soğuğunu ayazını çekmiş, Yüzüncü Yıl Üniversitesi’nin tozlu yollarını arşınlamıştım. Zeve kampüsündeki Melikşah Öğrenci Yurdu’nun dili olsa da konuşsa! Vize ve finaller öncesi kaç geceyi uykusuz geçirmiş kaç kez çalışma masasında sabahladıktan sonra yorgunluktan sızıp kaç sınavı kaçırmıştım. Yüzüncü Yıl Üniversitesi Fen-Edebiyat Fakültesi Matematik Bölümü dedin mi, duracaksın… Oradan öyle artis pozlarında elini kolunu sallayarak mezun olamazsın. En sıkı öğretim üyesi kadrosu orda: Prof. Dr. İsmail Tok, Prof. Dr. Abdurrahim Yılmaz, Prof. Dr. Bülent Karakaş, Yrd. Doç. Dr. Yılmaz Altun (nam-ı diğer mübarek!), Yrd. Doç. Dr. Necdet Batır, Yrd. Doç. Dr. Muammer Yıldız (sonradan İstanbul Milli Eğitim Müdürü oldu)…

Diplomayı elime aldığımda yaşadığım sevinci hiç unutamam; onca zahmete değmişti doğrusu, vücudumun ödül olarak salgıladığı mutluluk hormonu endorfinin de etkisiyle sarhoş gibiydim. Elbette bir o kadar da tedbirsiz…

Gözümün önünden yaşadıklarım bir film şeridi gibi akıp gidiyordu ta ki bir telsiz anonsu hayallerimi bölen kadar…

Beni gözaltına alan resmi giysili polis, “…anlaşıldı, tamam” la uzun telsiz konuşmasını tamamladı. Anlaşılan işimiz artık “tamam”dı!

Evet, yaşadıklarım bir hayal değildi ve beni gözaltına alan polisler, belli ki, her daim “dinlemede” malum bir “merkez”le konuşmuşlar ve o “malum” merkezin yolladığı adamlar da gelmek üzereydi. Çok geçmeden de sivil plakalı bir otoyla, beyazdı yanlış hatırlamıyorsam, Terörle Mücadele Şubesi’nden beklenen sarkık bıyıklı “amcalar” geldiler. Beni aldıkları gibi, o zamanlar milli tuvalet edebiyatına da sıkça konu olan, malum “merkez”e doğru direksiyonu kırdılar. Sorgu hemen oracıkta sivil otonun içinde başladı. Polisler, önce alaycı bir tonda hal hatır sorup ardından benden yirmi tane arkadaşımın ismini vermemi istediler. Ben başlarda salağa yatmak istedim, oda arkadaşlarımın isimlerini falan verdim: Orhan Altun, Levent yardımcı, Timur Aslan, Şehabettin Fırat (Şeyh Sait’in torunu), Tuncay Aydemir… “Yemediler”… Israrla başka başka isimler istiyorlardı benden, kendilerince de “malum” olan…

Tamam, üniversitelerde Kadıköy’de 1 Mayıs 1996’da yaşanan olaylarla doruğa çıkan bir kıpırdanış vardı. Elbette sol, 1980 Askeri Darbesi’yle yok olmamış, şekil değiştirerek 90’larda yeniden üniversite gençliğinin vicdanında yerini almıştı. 1992’de üniversiteye adım attığımda, Yüzüncü Yıl Üniversitesi’nde sol çevreler daha yeni yeni kıpırdanıyordu. Kimse ne yapacağını, nerden başlayacağını bilmiyordu. Çünkü Atatürk’ün doğumunun yüzüncü yılı olan 1981’de kurulan üniversiteye, kendi geleneğini unutmayarak, “yüzüncü yıl” adını veren askeri cunta, solcu öğrencilerin 80 öncesi oluşan sol gelenekle bağını koparmıştı.

Türk öğrenciler arasında daha çok DHKP/C ve TKP/ML adlı sol örgütlerin isimleri geçiyordu. Tabi ki, hiçbirimizin bu örgütlerle militan düzeyinde bir organik bağı yoktu ve belli bir örgüt disiplini içinde de hareket etmiyorduk. Nurculuk, Süleymancılık benzeri kimi İslami cemaatlerde olduğu gibi, daha çok bir “dergi çevresi” yapılanması söz konusuydu.

Örneğin biz yurdun C Blok 48 numaralı odasında kalıyorduk ve bizimle aynı odada kalan Devrimci Halk Kurtuluş Partisi/Cephesi sempatizanı “parti/cepheli” Bülent Köse adındaki Sivaslı bir arkadaşımız, Kurtuluş dergisi alıyor, o okuduktan sonra elden ele biz de okuyorduk. Yine B Blok’tan Erol Seven adında Türkiye Komünist Partisi/Marksist-Leninist sempatizanı bir arkadaş, Özgür Gelecek dergisi alıyor, o okuduktan sonra ondan da başkaları alıp okuyordu. Ve böylece lümpen proletarya zincirine her gün zayıf birer halka olarak biz de ekleniyorduk.

O güne kadar yaptığımız eylemler de; zaman zaman, hatta kimi zaman ülkücülerle beraber, yemekhane boykotu yapmak; yazılama yapmak; 20 Mart 1996’da Nevruz kutlamalarına katılıp halay çekmek; 24 Mart 1996’da “faşist” tabir ettiğimiz ülkücülerin bir kız arkadaşımıza laf atması sonucu çıkan gerginliğin ardından Melikşah Yurt Müdürlüğü’nde; “Faşizme Karşı Omuz Omuza!”, “Yaşasın Halkların Kardeşliği!”, “Burası Faşizme Mezar Olacak!” sloganları atarak yürümekten ibaretti.

Arada bir yurttaki odalarda toplanıp Grup Yorum türküleri dinliyor; pis yedili, poker eşliğinde sohbetler ediyor, “komiteler” kurmaktan falan söz ediyorduk. Fakat bizim sözünü ettiğimiz bu komiteler örgüt terminolojisindeki “halk komiteleri” falan değildi elbette.

Kürt solu diye adlandırdığımız öğrenciler, dağınık haldeki Türk soluna nazaran daha disiplinli ve daha derli toplu bir yapı içindeydiler. PKK’ya sempatiyle bakıyorlar, bir örnek Özgür Gündem gazetesi ve Özgür Ülke dergileri okuyorlar, Med TV izliyorlardı.

Konuşmalarından ve coşkularından anlaşıldığı kadarıyla PKK’ya sempatiyle baktığını söyleyen bu gençlerin çoğu da, sempatizanı oldukları Kürdistan İşçi Partisi’nin, “işçi” yönüne değil de, daha çok “etnik” yönüne sempati duyuyor gibiydiler. Kritik günlerde okul askerler tarafından tanklarla kuşatılıyor ve bu haliyle bir yarı açık cezaevini andırıyordu.

Üniversitenin genel atmosferi böyleydi. Ülke atmosferi de bundan farklı değildi: PKK’nın yükselişine paralel olarak güvenlik güçleri de sertleşmiş işkence vakaları, gözaltında kayıplar, yargısız infazlar türünden antidemokratik uygulamalar artık sıradan olaylar haline gelmişti. Her yerden pis kokular yükseliyor, ülkede “kirli” savaş olanca hızıyla sürüyordu. Savaş baronları istediği ve ölenler de yoksul çocukları olduğu sürece, daha uzun yıllar süreceği gibi…

Emniyet Müdürlüğü binasının arkasına geldiğimizde polisler, birden sertleştiler. Kapıda gözümü göz bağıyla bağlayıp ite kaka içeri sokarken bir taraftan da ana-avrat küfür etmeye başladılar. Bir süre böyle gözüm kapalı sürüklendim. Bir yere gelince durdurup gözbağımı hafifçe araladılar ve bir masada sonu “haklarım okundu” şeklinde biten bir kâğıt imzalattılar. Ardından beni çırılçıplak soyup işkence etmeye başladılar.

İşkenceye başlarken de, “Osman, dağda etek tıraşına vakit bulamadın galiba?” diye “sözde” espri yapmaktan geri durmadılar… Vücudumun her yerine nerden geldiğini bilmediğim yumruklar tekmeler iniyor; sorular peş peşe geliyordu… “Gözaltına alınırken gören oldu mu?”, “Kürt müsün?”, “Hangi örgüttensin?”, “Devrimci ne demek?”, “Lideriniz kim?”, “Komite kurdunuz mu?”, “Kırsala adam yolluyor musunuz?”, “Fen Edebiyat Fakültesine bombayı kim koydu?”… Ben, “Abi, valla bilmiyorum!” gibisinden insani tepkiler verdikçe, daha sert vuruyorlar ve arada elektrik vermekle de tehdit ediyorlardı. Arada bir göz bağımı hafifçe aralayıp kalın bir klasörden bazı arkadaşların resimlerini gösteriyorlar, “Lideriniz bu mu?” diye soruyorlardı. Anlaşılan hepimizi fişlemişlerdi.

Bana reva görülen “insanlık ayıbı”, dört saat boyunca sürdü. En sonunda çözüldüm, bildiklerimi anlattım…

Hani şimdilerde 1999 polis sorgusunda Adnan Oktar için, çok rahat tavırlar sergiliyordu sorgusunda, diyorlar ya kazın ayağı öyle değil işte. Geri zekâlı gibi her şeyi açık açık anlattığın o masa başına oturmadan önce seni bir güzel hazırlıyorlar işte benim örneğimde olduğu gibi.

Gerçi bildiklerim polisin işine yarayacak türden teknik bilgiler değildi. O arada polisler arasında “kitap yasak değilmiş” şeklinde bir diyalog geçtiğini duydum. Sonunda bana bir ifade tutanağı imzalattılar ve serbest bıraktılar.

Bırakırken de, “Kusura bakma, seni biraz hırpaladık ama ne yapalım elimizde yalan makinesi yok ki” şeklinde yaptıkları işkenceyi kendilerince “mazur” gösteren sözde özürden sonra bir dizi öğütte bulunmayı da ihmal etmediler. Yani ortada bozulmamı gerektirecek bir durum yoktu. Bu olağan bir uygulamaydı, memur ağabeyler her şeyi “vatan-millet-sakarya” için yapmışlardı ve benim de, üstelik Adanalı bir Türk olarak, bu duruma anlayış göstermem gerekiyordu. Belki de amirleri böyle emretmişti ve nihayetinde onlar da birer emir kuluydular. Üstelik ülkenin içinden geçtiği böyle kritik bir dönemde “Hiçbir devlet görevlisi, kendisine emredilen etik dışı bir görevi yerine getirmek zorunda değildir” kuralı da henüz geçerli değildi. Kitabıma ve bazı notlarıma el konduktan sonra çantamı elime tutuşturup ardıma bakmadan emniyetten uzaklaşmamı istediler.

Dışarı çıktığımda karmakarışık duygular içindeydim… Hemen kısa bir muhasebe yaptım: Ya dağa çıkıp polisin anladığı dilden konuşacaktım, ya da birkaç gün sonra başvuracağım öğretmenlik mesleğinde dayağa karşı çıkıp bu işkence illetinin kökünü tümden kurutacaktım…

Zor olanı seçtim…

Elbette bu kararı vermemde İstanbul’da beni bekleyen karımın ve bana büyük umutlar bağlamış Adana’daki yoksul ailemin katkısı büyüktü.

Tekrar otogara geldiğimde otobüsü kaçırmıştım, cebimde bir kuruş param da yoktu, üstelik de sigarasızdım… Van Gölü Turizm otobüs firmasının yazıhanedeki yetkililerine durumumu anlattım; yardımcı oldular. Yeniden bilet parası istemediler.

Otobüsteki koltuğuma oturduğumda, artık kendimde değildim… Yaşadığım travmanın etkisiyle uzun yıllar kâbus dolu günler geçirecek polis-telsiz fobisini uzun süre üzerimden atamayacaktım.

Şimdi bulunduğum noktadan geçmişe dönüp baktığımda şunu rahatlıkla söyleyebilirim: Bana işkence yapanlara hiçbir zaman hakkımı helal etmedim, etmeyeceğim de. İnsan doğanın bir parçasıdır ve işkence yapıldığında “öter”, buna işkence yapan polisler ve büyük devrimci önderler de dâhil.

Maslow’un “ihtiyaçlar hiyerarşisi”nde “fizyolojik” ihtiyaçlardan hemen sonra ikinci sırada kendine yer bulan “güvenlik” ihtiyacı, böyle işkenceci soysuzlara bırakılmamalıdır; halkın adamı polislere bırakılmalıdır.

Hesap, çoğu kere olduğu gibi, yine öteki dünyaya kalmıştı ve İstanbul’a, bir bilinmeze doğru yol alan otobüsün muavininin belli belirsiz yaptığı kalkış anonsu, ruhundan derin yaralar almış bir hastayı uzak bir hastaneye yetiştiren canhıraş bir ambulansın siren sesi gibiydi…

Osman Akyol

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serguzest · 11 months

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Ulan Semih

Semih, şair bir arkadaşımızdı. Bu kafadan hafif tırlak dostumuzun muhabbetini çok severdik, ama açıkçası şiirleri pek bir halta yaramazdı. Malum, ülkede akıl-fikir ve sanat üreten her insanın sol düşünceyle bir bağlantısı var. Semih de böyleydi. Sosyalizmin içeriği ve teorik bilgisi yönünden zayıftı, o daha çok işin heyecan kısmını seviyordu. Bir barda memleketi kurtarmak, dünyanın öbür ucundaki direniş için şiirler yazmak, yürüyüşler, eylemler, sabaha kadar süren tartışmalar..

İspanya İç Savaşı, hepimizde heyecan yarattı. Dünyanın dört bir yanından gelen devrimciler, İspanya işçi ve köylüleri için, faşizme karşı savaşıyordu. Kimler yoktu ki aralarında, uzun saçlı aydınlar, inatçı komünistler.. Hemingway ve George Orwell..

Bizimki kafaya takmış, İspanya'ya gidecek. Türkiye'yi temsil eden tek aydın olarak... Kalıbımı basarım, tüm bunları, bir barda müthiş anılarını anlatabilmek için istiyordu. Bir kahramanlık öyküsü anlattıktan sonra, gömleğini sıyırır ve insanlara, kolundaki yara izini gösterir.. İsmi, Hemingway'in yanına yazılacaktı.

Savaşa gitmek istiyor, ama bizimkinde gereksiz bir heyecan ve endişe var. Höt desen üç metre zıplar.. Polisten, devletten korkar..

Bir devrimci arkadaşı, ona yardımcı olabileceğini söylemiş.. Eminönü'nden kalkan bir tekneyle önce Yunanistan'a gidecek, sonra kara yoluyla taa İspanya'ya..

İçinde panik ve endişe var ya, bir türlü karar veremiyor. Arkadaşı buna bir gün, diyelim salı günü, Eminönü'nden bir tekne kalkıyor, demiş. Parasını hazırlamış, sabah deli gibi alkol almış, zil zurna sarhoş, başka türlü çıkamayacak yola. Eminönü'ne gitmiş, limandaki tekneleri görmüş..

Bizim yarımakıllı, beyninde binbir endişe, teknelere doğru yürürken, yol üstündeki polisleri görmüş, kimlik kontrolü yapıyorlarmış. Bineceği tekneye doğru gidebilmek için, polis kontrolünden geçebilmesi gerek. Panik olmuş, ne yapacağını şaşırmış. Aslında korkmasa, hiçbir sorun yokmuş..

Heyecanla geri dönmüş, koşar adım uzaklaşmış. Evine geldiğinde, kalan şarabı da dikmiş kafasına, akşama kadar uyumuş..

Bunu sadece, bana anlatmıştı. Söz vermemi istedi, başka kimseye anlatmayacaktım. Sanat sepet taifesini pek bilmediğin için, sana anlatıyorum.

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masauntukfilem · 1 year

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MALUM (2023)

Genre - Horror Supernatural (US)

Plot - Mengisahkan seorang pegawai polis wanita yang baru tamat latihan ditugaskan di sebuah balai polis lama seorang diri. Di balai polis itu, bapa polis wanita itu yang juga dulunya seorang polis, telah menembak mati 2 rakannya sebelum menembak mati dirinya sendiri. Semasa polis wanita itu bertugas di situ, berbagai kejadian aneh berlaku ke atas dirinya hinggalah rahsia kematian bapanya terbongkar sendiri.

Komen - Filem genre seram yang bagus. Kejutan seram juga banyak dan sangat baik. Lakonan kadang kala tidak berapa meyakinkan tapi mencukupi untuk keseluruhan filem ini.

Personal skor - 4 / 5 (filem ini dihasilkan oleh pengarah yang sama dengan filem Last Shift. Filem seram yang bagus.)

Masa tontonan - 92 min

Platform - Loklok

Tarikh menonton - 6/9/2023

#filem #horror #supernatural #malum

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piyasahaberleri · 1 year

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Ek SHO Adnan Afridi. — Muhabir tarafınca sağlandı Peşaver: Peşaver'in Hayber ilçesinde Ali Mescidi olarak malum bir mahallede bulunan bir caminin içinde meydana gelen patlamada bir polis memuru öldü. Coğrafi Haberler Salı günü bildirildi.Karakol Memuru (SHO) Gul Wali, Ek SHO Adnan Afridi'nin vakada şehit düştüğünü söylemiş oldu. Edinilen bilgiye bakılırsa, zanlılardan biri caminin içindeydi. Polis memuru, zanlıyla ilgilenmek için camiye gittiği sırada şehit oldu, sadece kendisini havaya havalandırdı. KP Polis Genel Müfettişi (IGP) Akhtar Yaşam Khan, zanlının caminin içinde meydana getirilen arama esnasında kendisini havaya uçurduğunu söylemiş oldu. Polisin verdiği bilgilere bakılırsa patlama, bir intihar bombacısının kolluk kuvvetlerini gördükten sonrasında caminin içine saklanması sonucu meydana geldi.Ek olarak SHO Wali, patlama esnasında çöken caminin enkazı altında kaç kişinin mahsur kaldığının şu anda bilinmediği için daha çok detay verileceğini söylemiş oldu. Resimde intihar saldırısının meydana geldiği cami görülüyor. — Muhabir tarafınca sağlandı Sadece görgü tanıkları, vaka esnasında caminin boş bulunduğunu iddia etti. Ölümcül olayın derhal arkasından güvenlik güçleri ve polis bölgeyi kordon altına aldı. Bekçi Diyanet İşleri ve Enformasyon Bakanı Avukat Feroze Jamal Shah, polisin yapmış olduğu fedakarlıkların boşa gitmeyeceğini söyleyerek intihar patlamasını kınadı.Zalimlere ve sulh düşmanlarına demir yumrukla mukabele edilecektir” dedi.

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morkedisblog · 1 year

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Tele1✔Fransada polis 17 yaşındaki çocuğu vurdu halk haklı olarak ayaklandı polis tutuklandı ama olay başka yönlere gitmeye başladı mağazalar bankamatikler marketler yağmalandı sokağa çıkma yasağı ilan edildi Fransa da İran gibidir yılda 3-4 defa halk ayaklanır sonra biter polis şiddeti her yerde aynı;Usada/Türkiyede/Rusyada vs bir polisin yanlışı onca zarara mâl oldu ama Fransa geçmişinin ve yanlış stratejisinin bedelini ödüyor aslında,önce sömürgecilik açgözlülüğü ile Tunus/Cezayir/Fas vs işgâl edip soykırım yaptılar sonra Usalıların Siyahilere yaptıkları rezilliklerin af dileme hediyesi olarak Oscar-Plutzer dağıtmaları misâli Afrikalılara vatandaşlık dağıttılar eeee kendi ülkenin demografik yapısını bozarsan böyle olur adam Alman milli takımında oynuyor Türk/diğeri Fransız milletvekili Berberi/öbürü Usa başkanı Afrika kökenli/İngiliz başbakan Hindistan kökenli ve bir sürü saçmalık bu hümanizm medeniyet değil aslında üstü örtülü ırkçılık yani geçmişte atalarının yaptıklarından utanç duyup vatandaşlık hediye etmek bizimkiler de arapları sömürdüler ama Osmanlı sömürgen değildi diyorlar öyleyse neyin diyeti suriyeli taliban paki sevdası sadat astrika hayâlinin imkâsız olduğunun kendi de farkında öyleyse cıa mı6 rusya'ya verilen sözler alınan paralar karşılığı ülkemizi uçuruma sürüklüyorlar yarın bir ayaklanma olursa askeri polisi üstlerine salarım düşüncesi çok yanlış 15 temmuzda Türk Türkü vurdu dünya sevindi ama ayaklanıp malum yere yürüyüşe geçtiklerinde canınız suriyeli kanınız afgan kardeşiniz paki onları bir vurdurun hele önce tepenize usa-rusya binmezse insan değilim wagner/bu Fransa olağanüstü hali hiç mi size ders olmaz hiç mi korkutmaz haa halk dışarıya çıkar diyorsanız 15 temmuz gibi rol dağılımı olmaz bunda birkaç kişi ölsün kahraman olsun tiyatrosu tutmaz yabancı servislerin silahlandırdığı canilere karşı ne yapabiliriz aklı olan dışarıya çıkmaz çıkan akılsızı da vurup havaya uçururlar bunları bir düşünün bence sonra ensar mı olacaksınız muhacir mi öpeceksiniz mücver mi kızartacaksınız karar verin başımızı yakmayın😤😠😈Tamam klişe repliğimi de söyleyeyim"polis asker herşeye her pozisyona hazırım ama insanları susturmak olacakları durdurmaz gerçekleri yanıltmaz"😴

#türkiye #politics #polis #world #fransa

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birkadehdenizdebogulankarasinek · 2 years

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İçimden bir şey, "yazsana haydi, yaz " diyor, ama neyi yazmalıyım, önünde iki büklüm oturduğum klavyenin harfleri bile bilmiyor, içim bilmiyor, dışım zaten bilinmezliğe biat etmekte, yaşadığım odanın penceresi bilmem kaç on gündür asla kapanmamış, dışardan gelen tozla, içeride ufak çaplı bir çamur deryası oluşmaması adına, sadece yağmurlar yağarken kapanmış, tüm bu kapanmamaya inat, ben içimin sesini dinlesem de, içime kapanıklığın köşe sıkışmışlığını haddinden fazla yaşıyordum, pencereyi örten kalın güneşlik perdenin milimetrik bir kıpırdaması bile olmadan. Köşeye sıkışmışlık derken de, düzenli hale getirmeyi denediğim uzun ve tempolu yürüyüşlerimde, köşe başlarını tutan lüks araçlara, her yerde ışıl ışıl, görgüsüz bir azametle yükselen rezidanslara, içinde yaşayan köşe dönücülere son derece, hatta bir açıölçerin bile ölçmekte zorlanacağı derecede uyuz kaparak, kendi kendime konuşarak, karşı kaldırımdan gelenlerin" deli herhalde" bakışları altında, bu uyuz kapmalı yürüyüşleri yapıyordum. Ama ne yürüyüş!

Teknolojiden de elbette kopmuyoruz ya hiçbir zaman, telefonun akıllı olmasına güvenip, bir adet pedometre kuruyorum ki, bakalım ben gerçekten ne yürüyorum, ne kadar yürüyorum, resmi belgelerle konuşayım, dedim. Malum, sürekli her şeyin her dalgasına karşı boşa kürek çektiğim hissi dünyanın bütün küreklerinde bir kıllanma yaratırken ve herhangi bir ağrım için bile resmi belgenin istendiği bu günlerde, bu kendi başıma yarattığım bir düzen oturtma üzerine kurulu yürüyüşlerin resmi bir belgesi olmalıydı. Hedef altı bin adım, henüz yirmi dakika bile dolmamışken, " pat" diye bir kutlamalı patlangaç sesi geliyor bir yerden, çevreme bakıyorum, bir adet maganda ya da, gecenin geç saatinin ırzına geçen bir kına gecesi yok. Ses çantamdan geliyor. Altı bin adımı tamamladığım için, akıllı telefon uygulaması beni takdir ediyor. Vay be akıllı telefon uygulaması, ruhumu okşadın, teşekkürler!

Eve varınca daha bir takdir edilmeyi bekleyen çocuk bakışlarıyla ekrana bakıyorum, on bin küsürlerde adım sayısı , sekiz kilometre yürüyüş, altı yüz fazlası kalori yakmışım. Bunu yaklaşık olarak otuz dört gündür yapıyorum, ama ilk kez elimde kanıtlısı var, soran olursa hani, soran da olmaz ya, " al bak!" demelik bir belge var elimde, hayattakki kürek çekişe inanmayanlara gösteremediğin cinsten bir belge bu. Sonuç? Beş kilo daha fazla alıyorum, dayanılmaz kas, bel, bacak, ayak, başımı gövdemin üstünde taşıyan kaç tane anatomik bölge varsa, hepsi dayanılmaz bir ağrı miras bırakıyor bana, çok bölgesinde, çoktan da fazla terör tehlikesi yaşayan ülke sınırları gibi.

Şu içimdeki bir şey var ya, hani "yazsana" diyen... Neyi yazayım diye tekrar soruyorum, Şenol Güneş'i mi yazmalıyım, bilmiyorum ki, adam benden daha mutsuz bakıyor hayata, ve bir o kadar çaresiz izliyor maçları kenardan, otobanın kenarında çaresizce aç ve susuz kalan bir adamın böylesine mutsuz ve çaresiz bir bakışı yok ki. Şenol Güneş'i eliyorum, Şenol Güneş zaten bu yazının içine neden, nereden geldi, o bile belirsiz.

Ben bu kent soylu meselesine de takılmıyor değilim aslında. Hipodrom gibi bir yolun sağı solu kimin nasıl aldığı belli olmayan lüks evlerle doluyor, taşıyor, taşmakla kalmayıp, beni her önlerinden geçişinde ayıplayarak taş yağmuruna tutuyor. Taş yağmuru olmasa da, en azından kafama bir ayakkabı geliyor, önünden geçtiğim " modern zaman kalesi" bahçesinden. Çocuğun teki sadece zevkine ya da sebebini asla bilemeyeceğim bir sebeple ayağından ayakkabılarını fırlatıyor, bir ikincisi daha tam kafama gelmek üzereyken, gövdeme asla yakışmayan bir balet figürüyle bertaraf ediyorum bu ayakkabı saldırısını. Ağzımdan çıkan tek kelime " PİÇ"...

Bu evlerin sahiplerinin meslek algoritmasını kafamda yaratmaya çalışıyorum, hepsi doktor olamaz, hukukçu? Polis, asker zaten mobilize adam, öğretmen desen de değil, o kadar çok okul yok, olsa da o kadar maaş yok... İmam olabilir mi? Zorlarsak o kadar cami çıkar da, imam? Hepsinin sahibi belediye başkanı da olamaz, hele şehrin başkanı hiç olamaz, adamlar zaten derebeylik sisteminin kamusallaşan alanlarına dikmiş surları. E kim lan burada oturanlar? Sekiz kilometrelik mesafede sadece sekiz binden fazla daire var, hepsinde azami nüfus üç olsa, çekirdek aile kavramı hala kaldıysa, eder sana yirmi dört bin! Yirmi dört bin piçkurusu babası ve anası var öyleyse bu evlerde oturan şeklinde hayıflanıyorum.

Teşhissizlik beni her zaman deli etmiştir, "piç"in kafama gelen ayakkabısının sebebini bilmemek beni delirttiği kadar, gelir dağılımın teşhissizliği içindeki zaten belli başlı şeylerin şeffaflığı ama buna rağmen hızını kesmeden devam etmesi, aşkın bile reçetesiz olması ve teşhissizliği beni sinir küpüne fazlasıyla dönüştürüyor. Şu an yaşadıklarıma bir teşhis koymaya çalışıyorum mesela, en çok da köşeye sıkışmışlık hissimde. Gösterge bilime başvuruyorum, Marx'ı, Engels'i zaten biliyorum, ama hislerimin olası galibiyet formüllerini onlarda bulamıyorum. Roland Barthes çıka geliyor ve diyor ki, "adlandırılmak istemeyen toplumsal sınıf". Bu anonimlik bir hayalet gibi geziniyor hayatın her damarında. Hırsızlıklarını, cehaletlerini, tecavüzlerini, kifayetsiz birer muhteris oluşlarını gizliyor bu isimsizlik. Failler hiçbir zaman bulunamıyor, ve hatta senden çaldıklarını tarihin süzgecinden, toplumun zihninden ve bilinçaltından o kadar ustaca, bir ekmek hamuru unu eler gibi eleyip, buna ses edecek olanlara " bir lokma, bir hırka " şeklinde bir somun ekmek olarak yediriyorlar ki...

Kelimelerini , eğitimini, yeteneğini, hangi siyasi gücün yanında olurlarsa olsunlar, seni de kendileri gibi isimsiz ama yok olmaya mahkum bırakmayı öyle bir başarıyorlar ki. Sorunu teşhis etsem de isimlendiremiyor, gözün gördüğüne, bakın işte buradalar, diyemiyorum. Köşesine sıkıştığım hayatın en gizli yerinde gizli gizli sigara içmeye devam ediyorum, ismi bile olmayan bir tütünle.

Kent soylu mu? Güldürme beni... Ne demiştim, " Piç kurusu..." bunların hepsi.( Ben demedim, içimdeki ses dedi)

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theyolgezer · 2 years

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15 Temmuz'da ne oldu?

Olayların sırayla şu şekilde olduğu kanaatindeyim:

1. İngilizler şu an baştaki adamı (RTE) alıp yerine Abdullah Gül ve Hulusi Akar'ı da Genel Kurmay Başkanı olarak tutacaklardı. Bunu seçimle beceremeyecekleri için Akar'a darbe hazırlığı yaptırdılar.

2. İngilizler darbe olacağını RTE'ye bildirdiler, hattâ 15 Temmuz günü sabah 11 sıralarında helikopter ile Marmaris açıklarında bekleyen İngiliz zırhlı savaş gemisine getirdiler RTE'yi. Öğleden sonraya kadar kaldı. Bu sebeple de cuma namazına gidemedi. İhtimal RTE'yi ülkeden çıkarmayı, ülkeyi terketmesini istediler. RTE bunu istemedi ve oteline geri döndü. Kendisine tezgah kurulduğunu anladı.

3. Daha sonra Perinçek ekibiyle ve Ruslarla işbirliği teklifi yaptı. Ruslar (Putin) da kabul etti ve RTE'yi Marmaris'ten gizlice çıkardılar ve başka bir uçakla havalandı akşam olunca. Böylelikle Akar'ın gönderdiği suikast timlerinden kurtuldu.

4. İngilizler darbenin başarılı olmadığını anlayınca hemen açıklama yaptılar. Açıklamada darbeyi yapanlar Gülen ekibidir dediler herkesten önce. İftira orada yapıştı.

5. Sonra RTE de bu açıklamayı fırsat bilip suçu Gülen cemaatine attı ve Perinçek ve Ergenekon'un elinde tuttuğu tüm fişleme listelerinde adı geçen isimleri tutuklamaya başladılar. Büyük ihtimalle Perinçek bu şartla yardım ederim dedi ve bütün Gülen cemaati mensuplarını kadın çocuk yaşlı demeden hapse aldılar.

İlk önce yargı mensuplarını aldılar ki sabahın erken saatlerinde dava açıp suç duyurusunda bulunamasınlar.

6. 15 Temmuz'un en vurucu yeri Boğaziçi köprüsünde yaşanan katliamlardır. Buraya tankları ve askeri öğrencileri Perinçek ekibi bilerek gönderdiler ki burada kurdukları tezgah ile halkı galeyana getirsinler, gerçek darbe gerçekleşmesin ve böylece RTE halk kahramanı olsun. Bu yüzden gece 2'de yaptığı basın açıklamasında herkesi sokağa çağırdı. Yani Rusların yardım ettiği nokta burasıydı. Köprüdeki keskin nişancılar da büyük ihtimalle Rusların elemanlarıydı, silahlar da Rus yapımıydı. Çünkü bu keskin nişancıların ateşi ile öldürülen vatandaşlara atılan mermilerin balistik raporları hiç açıklanmadı.

7. Daha sonrası malum. Ergenekon (Perinçek ekibi) uzun zamandır fişledikleri isimleri elleriyle koymuş gibi bulup içeriye aldılar. Öyle ki bu fişlenenlerin içinde, İzmir'e 2007 yılında şehid olan bir polis memuru da vardı. Evine geldiklerinde annesi 'Oğlum Karşıyaka mezarlığında, gidin oradan alın' demişti. Yani listeleri zaman içinde yeniden düzenleme gereği bile duymadılar.

Halk hala bu işi Gülen Cemaatinin yaptığını sanıyor. Bakalım halk gerçekten öyle olmadığını ne zaman anlayacak.

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pusancatholic · 2 years

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Emniyet Genel Müdürü Mehmet Aktaş’tan milletvekilliği adaylığı açıklaması

Emniyet Genel Müdürü Mehmet Aktaş, milletvekili adayı olacağına ilişkin ortaya iddia atılmıştı. Aktaş, milletvekilliği adaylığına hazırlandığı yönündeki iddialar üzerine açıklama yaptı. İnternet sitesindeki yazının maksatlı olarak kaleme alındığını belirten Aktaş, “Genel Müdürlük yapma şerefine nail olduğum Türk Polis Teşkilatımıza ve şahsıma yaklaşımı malul ve malum olan bir internet sitesi…

View On WordPress

#Dakika #dünyadan #ekonomi #güncel #gündem #Son

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emotional-blender · 4 years

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seven. the middle. poly!malum x reader

a/n: i am behind but i'm getting caught up. here is 7/25. i don't write poly often, and i especially don't write it as like... something soft. it's usually thirsty and smutty so this was a nice change of pace. also, i love the idea of poly!malum. i didn't know i had that spoft spot before today, but here i am. anyway, if you'vw bwwn ewXHINF, RHnk tou ao muxh!

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everyone wanted the middles spot. for the most part calum was okay being the bread on the sandwich, leaving you and mikey to squabble over who got to be in the middle mikey liked to be tangled with you in front with calum's chest flush against his back, with all six of your legs in a tangled mess, duke kaying where ever he could fit within them.

"you wanna go to bed?" your voice was quiet, a hand absently running through calum's hair as he laid his lead in your lap. today had been weird. you couldn't put your finger on it exactly, but while everything seemed okay nothing felt quite... right.

he shrugged a response against you and you kept the movement of your hand through his hair as your eyes rested on the trash reality tv show you were watching before you flicked your eyes over to the other sofa where michael was laid out, half snoozinf hs way through whatever was happening. you could feel your eyes drooping but tjere was no part of you that was willing to mvoe while calum seemed so comfortable where he was, so you sat, running one hand through his hair while you rubbed his back with the other. it was his tiny snore that had you looking back down at him, his eyes closed, mouth slightly hanging open. you looked back at michael, biting down on your lip as you finally decided someone needed to get the three of you to bed.

"hey, baby," you rubbed calum's back a little firmer, your voice a little louder, making sure michael could hear you across the living room. there was never any distinguishing which one of them you were addressing with the nickname. it just came out naturally when either of them were around.

michael turned his head to look at you and you nodded down at calum in your lap, rubbing his arm just a little more.

"you'd both feel so much better sleeping in the bed," you spoke to them both as you felt calum stir, groaning a little and opening his eyes. you nodded ad you looked town at him, nudging him to sit while you let your eyes rest back on michael.

"you're gonna wake up sore as fuck or something," you added, finally moving to stand when calum was sitting on the couch. your socked feet carried you across the room to where michael was still laying, a hand running through his hair as you stoof behind the couch he was laying on. you leaned over the back, a leg in the air as you stretched a bit to reach him, plopping a kiss to his forehead before whispering.

"cal feels sad, take him to bed, i'll get the dog," you instruced. as if on cue, yo felt tiny paws at your leg, smiling down at duke as you straightened up, leading him to the back door a moment later. you let the dog out to do what he needed, making sure his food and water bowls were full before making sure the coffee maker was set for your early morning tomorrow before letting him back in. you had been putting away dinner leftovers that were on the counter when you felt a pair of amrs wram around you, the only clue to who's they were without looking directly down at them was his smell. michael.

"he's been like that all day," he spoke quietly as he pressed a kiss to thetop of your hair and you ndded a response, biting down on your lip again as you thought about it.

"did you ask him why?" you finally spoke after a moment, your hands finishing wrapping the bowl with plastic before turning in michael's arms, looking up at him with a brow raised.

"didn't wanna push him." he responded with a thoughtful expression on his face and you ndded, nose wrinkling.

"i know you guys work better when you let him come to you but sometimes he needs a push," you spokw quietly. it was then that you heard calum's voice break through the kitchen.

"will you stop talking about me," he called you out point blank, coming up behind michael and pressing his forehead to michael's shoulder. you leaned in, lips meeting hair and kissing him there as you moved your arms, letting them wrap around them both as best as you could.

"just concerned," you mumble against him, one of your hand rubbing at calum's side, the other rubbing at michael's before you pull away from the embrace, reaching for the bowl. a moment later, calum's hands are on the bowl too, giving you a pointed look and taking it from you to put in the fridge.

"can we just go to bed," he says as he turns to look at you both and you nod your head, giving him a little smile as you walk back up to him, hugging him directly. it takes a second before michael is behind you, squishing you between their bodies.

"we can, but you're sleeping in the middle tonight," you mumble. their quiet sleepy laughter hits your ears at the same time, each starly different from the other but so familiar in the way they both make you feel right at home. that's when it hits you.

"are you homesick?" you can't help the words from slipping out of your mouth as you speak them. it's been a rough year. normally both men would be getting ready with flights home for the holiday's set. they love you, so it's not a bad thing that the world seems to have held them hostage here. but while michael has had an american christmas before, calum hasn't.

"just muss my mum," he admits after a moment and you nod your head. it makes sense now.

"me too," michael adds quietly and for the first time you can hear how much he misses home.

"well," you start as you wiggle your way out of the hug, looking up at them both, eyes flicking from calum's face to michael's and back again. "i don't know what to do with this because there's only one middle spot and you both can't have it,"

calum bursts into laughter at that and you smile a little.

"well. being in the middle fixes everything," you defend yourself, reaching out your hands, grabbing ahold of each of theirs as you lead them towrad the bedroom.

"she's not wrong. you should really try demanding to be the middle spoon more," nichael adds as he follows. "she usually gives in if you whine hard enough," he adds, and you give him a playful glare.

"just for that you're never sleeping in the middle again," all three of you know the threat is empty.

#malum #calum hood #calum hood blurb #michael clifford blurb #michael clifford #5sos #poly!malum #calum hood imagine #michael clifford imagine #5sos imagine #shans advent 2020 #my writing

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maluminspace · 4 years

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Genre: Fluff

Pairings: Calum Hood/Michael Clifford/Female Reader

Word Count: 4.7k

Content: Calum and reader take Michael on a cute little first date, lots of fluff, kisses and cuddles, a few sexual references.

Trigger warnings: Strong language, alcohol, references to sexual activity

A/N: This is my contribution to the August/September 5sos fic writers collab. This time we decided to exchange gifts and I had the pleasure of writing for the lovely @malumsmermaid! I hope you enjoy this, Lauren, your whole form was an absolute treat, I could have written everything on it tbh! <3

Thank you @h0tsos and @mermaidcashton for helping me as always!

The carpark outside the amusement complex seems about as busy as you’d expect it to be on a Friday evening.

As Calum pulls the car into a parking space as near to the entrance as possible, you check your reflection in your little compact mirror, trying to ignore the nervous butterflies in your tummy.

“You look gorgeous, angel.” Calum smiles encouragingly, turning off the car and unfastening his seatbelt. “And you know Michael will think so too, most of his messages include some comment about how beautiful you are.”

You shove your compact back into your handbag and turn to face your boyfriend. He looks as flawless as ever, the dying sunlight casting his handsome face in a golden glow. Most people would have taken his comment as an admission of jealousy but you know him too well for that. He’s not envious of Michael complimenting you, in fact he actively encourages it. Your boyfriend’s only insecurity is that your date might like you a little bit more than he likes Calum. Something that you find very hard to believe.

“He’s always raving about how gorgeous you are too, Calum.” You reply seriously. “There’s no way he’d have agreed to this date if he wasn’t attracted to both of us.”

“You really think so?” Calum asks, a rare bashfulness present in his expression as he searches your face for a sign that you might be lying just to make him feel better.

Nodding sincerely you reach out to take his hand. “Michael definitely seems to like a man who knows what he wants, doesn’t he?” You prompt, tilting your head questioningly. “Besides, how could anyone not think you were hot, Cal? Have you even looked in a mirror lately? You look more like an underwear model everyday.”

Calum laughs, a light blush rising his cheeks. “Shut up… I do not!”

“Are you challenging me, Hood?” You ask, “Because we both know how that ended up last time.”

There’s no way that Calum can argue with you. Last time he’d denied how good he looked, he’d ended up pressed against the stall in the bathroom of a bar, fighting to keep his moans to a minimum as you sucked the life out of him. He seems to get lost in the memory for a moment but you snapped him out of it with a brief kiss to his cheek. “Come on, we can’t keep our date waiting!”

Calum nods giving your hand one last squeeze before he gets out of the car.

Your nerves only seem to multiply as you join Calum outside, taking his hand again and leading the way into the amusement complex. It’s not the sort of place you and Calum visit all that often. You’d been to the Cinema here a few times but according to the sign at the entrance, there was also an amusement arcade, mini golf center, and an escape room attraction in addition to the bowling alley that you knew about already, because that’s where your date worked.

You’d found that little piece of information out when you’d first started talking to Michael a few weeks back. He’d nervously reached out to you and Calum when he’d joined the online ghost hunting forum that the two of you ran. After a couple of days of small talk, the messages had become a little bit flirty and Calum had suggested moving your conversation over to Whatsapp instead.

Despite being a bit nervous at first, Michael never seemed to be lost for words and he wasn’t completely hopeless at flirting either. He’d quickly integrated into your life and you’d found yourself discussing him with Calum in increasingly sexual and even romantic ways. After a while it seemed inevitable that you needed to meet him in person and see if this online ‘thing’ had any substance in the real world.

When you’d suggested meeting up for dinner, Michael had seemed incredibly excited, suggesting that you meet him after his shift at work so that the three of you could grab something to eat at his favourite burger place.

Heading into the building, you stuck close to Calum, trying to focus on your excitement rather than your nerves.

On the surface, Calum looks cool as a cucumber, slinging his arm casually around your shoulder as he glances around, taking in his surroundings. Underneath that calm exterior, though, you know that he’s a whirlwind of emotions, just like you.

You reach the amusement arcade first. It’s fairly busy, little clusters of families and groups of friends gathered around the various gaming machines. Their laughter and excited chatter brings a smile to your face. This sort of environment reminds you so much of the early days of your relationship with Calum, when he’d try to impress you by winning hundreds of tickets on the games or getting you a cuddly toy from the grabber machines.

Calum seems to have the same thought as his gaze drifts to the basketball game. “Remember how good I used to be at that?” He asks, smiling wistfully.

You nod. “You used to win so many tickets on that game.”

Your boyfriend’s gentle smile morphs into something a little more flirtatious as an idea occurs to him. “Maybe I should try and impress Michael with my skills… do you think he likes cuddly toys?”

“Who doesn’t?” You counter with a small giggle. “But if we don’t hurry up we won’t get a chance to impress him, he’ll think we’ve stood him up.”

Calum pulls you into further into his side as he quickens his pace, following the arrows on the overhead signs to the bowling alley. Not that it’s necessary, really, given that the unmistakable sounds of heavy bowling balls rolling over polished wooden floors and the clattering of plastic pins is loud enough to be heard over the beeping and blooping of the arcade games.

As the bowling alley looms in front of you, your eyes are drawn immediately to the welcome desk. There’s a young lady currently spraying deodorizer into a couple of pairs of the bowling shoes but Michael is nowhere to be seen.

“Hi there!” The girl smiles brightly, storing the shoes back on the rack behind the counter. “Is it just a lane for two, or are you part of a bigger group?” She asks, her brown eyes glinting prettily in the dim light.

“Oh, we're not here to play, sorry.” Calum replies nervously. “We’re just meeting someone here…”

“Oh my god! You must be Michael’s dates!” The girl exclaims, bouncing excitedly on the balls of her feet. “He hasn’t stopped talking about you all day!”

The news that Michael has told his work friend about you helps ease your nerves a little bit. It confirms that he’s excited for the date at least.

“Really?” Calum chuckles, “we can’t wait to meet him in person…”

The girl leans over the counter, beckoning you both closer that she can talk in a lower voice. “He’s a bit of a dork and he’s really nervous, so please go easy on him!”

You nod, knowingly. “Yeah we gathered about the dork thing.”

“And we'll take care of him, we promise, won’t we babe?” Calum adds, squeezing your arm gently.”

“Of course!” You confirm. “He’s not the only nervous one, though.. we’ve never done anything like this before, either.”

The girl simply grinned. “Well, you’ve picked a good guy, I really hope tonight goes well, what’re your plans?”

Before you can reply, someone interjects. “You better not be ruining my good name, over there, Jas…”

You glance up to see Michael hovering awkwardly at the other end of the counter.

“Would I ever do such a thing?” Jasmine gasps dramatically. “I’m just making sure your cute dates know what they’ve let themselves in for, that’s all.” She aims a quick wink at you and Calum before heading over to tidy up the desk space around the computer.

“I promise I’m not as nerdy as Jasmine has probably tried to make you believe I am.” Michael chuckles, stepping a bit closer to you.

He looks even more beautiful in real life than he does in his photos. His green eyes have such depth to them, that you swear you could get totally lost in them for hours. His fluffy blonde hair is just begging for your fingers to be run through it and you can’t help but let your eyes drift over his simple, yet attractive outfit. The plain black button-up (done all the way up to his neck, unlike Calum’s…) and his black skinny jeans compliment his body perfectly.

“She didn’t tell us anything we didn’t already know, dork.” Calum smirks playfully.

Michael blushes and curls in on himself a little, so you take the initiative to move the conversation on. “That doesn’t stop you from looking gorgeous, though!” You try, tentatively reaching out to touch his arm. “It’s nice to see that someone knows how to wear a shirt without flashing his nips at everyone.”

Calum huffs in mock offence at your comment, but Michael chuckles, his eyes lighting up gleefully with the gesture.

“Hey!” Calum grumbles jokingly. “Everyone loves seeing a bit of nipple now and again.”

“I agree, I think hot guys should always have their nipples out.” Jasmine interjects.

You notice the way that Michael bites his bottom lip as his eyes travel down Calum’s chest. “Yeah hot guys, definitely should…” he agrees quietly, as though he’s talking more to himself than anyone else.

“Well maybe after a few drinks we can get a few of your buttons open.” Calum smirks, reaching out his hand to stroke Michael’s arm, just like you had a moment ago.

Michael melts at the suggestion, his eyes burning into Calum’s as he swallows thickly. You know exactly how he’s feeling, you’ve been subject to Calum’s effortless flirting countless times. Your boyfriend is just a master at making people feel relaxed and incredibly wanted at the same time.

“Well I don’t know about that…” the blonde replies, his cheeks reddening under Calum’s gaze.

Despite his online flirting, you’re not entirely sure that Calum’s full-on approach is the best way to win Michael over. Making an executive decision, you interject, breaking the silence that’s descended over the three of you. “Trust Calum to start talking about your nipples before he’s even brought you dinner!” You giggle.

“Hey, you were the one that brought up the nipple conversation!” Calum argues, shooting you a smirk before turning his attention back to Michael “don’t let her convince you that she's innocent, Mikey. She’s far from it, I promise!”

Michael’s blush deepens a little further at the fond shortening of his name and the insinuation that you have a mischievous side. Knowing that Calum could easily turn this conversation into something far too cheeky for such an early point in the date, you decide to try and navigate a safer topic once again. “Stop traumatising the poor guy, Calum.” You sigh. “Are you going to take us for dinner before Christmas or…”

Calum’s smirk stays firmly on his face as he nods. “Sure, if Mikey’s ready to eat?”

Still looking a little shy, Michael scratched the back of his neck. “Sure, unless you guys fancy a game or two of bowling first?” He asks. “Because, y’know, I don’t have to pay or anything…”

Despite looking a little embarrassed about his suggestion, he also sounds somewhat proud of the fact he can show off something to them.

“Sounds like fun.” You reply, hoping to bolster his confidence a bit. “Although I think it’ll be a very unfair game! You probably get to practice a lot.”

Michael shrugs, “not a lot…”

“It doesn’t matter how much he practices, angel.” Calum smirks. “I’ll still beat both your asses.”

“I wouldn’t bet on that, Mr!” You giggle, slapping Calum’s arm playfully. “Let’s team up against him, Mikey babe, and show him how it’s done!”

Michael’s expression brightens at your use of the combination of his shortened name and the pet name Calum had used for him earlier. “You want to team up with me?” He asks, as though the news is somewhat of a shock. “I just thought…”

“Well if Mr I’ll-beat-both-your-asses wants to prove himself, we should teach him a lesson, shouldn’t we?” You giggle, gaining a little self confidence as you take his hand. “Let’s knock him down a peg or two, huh?”

Michael nods, closing his fingers around yours as he glances at Calum to make sure he’s not overstepping any boundaries.

“Well it’d make a change for you to knock something down, because you certainly never hit many pins….” Your boyfriend teases before squeezing Michael’s arm affectionately. “I hope you know what you’re letting yourself in for, teaming up with this one.”

“It’s just nice to be able to bowl with someone other than my dumb friend, Luke, to be honest.” Michael admits. “He’s a great guy but he’s clumsy as hell and he has the attention span of a gnat.”

“Sounds like he’d get on perfectly with Calum, then.” You smirk.

***

Once you’ve all changed into bowling shoes, Jasmine allocates you a lane and wishes you luck. You don’t miss the little wink and thumbs up she gives to Michael before she returns to tidying up the shoe rack.

“Lane 5 is my lucky lane.” Michael announces, the hint of pride that he’d had in his voice when he told you he didn’t have to pay to bowl here, is back and you find it utterly adorable. “So it looks like we have a fighting chance of beating you after all…” He adds, turning to face Calum as he picks up a bowling ball in each hand from the rack.

“I hope you’re right, babe.” Calum grins. “It’s been ages since i’ve had some decent competition!” He aims a knowing nod at you along with a raised eyebrow.

“Hey!” You protest. “I’ve beaten you plenty of times.”

Shaking his head, Calum insists that you’re terrible at most things that could be described as a sport, no matter how loosely the activity might qualify.

“That’s so rude.” You huff playfully, linking your arm through Michael’s. “Come on Mikey, let’s beat his ass…”

Michael giggled excitedly. “I’m up for that bet.”

“Well I hope all your practice pays off, because the losers are buying nachos…” Calum winks at you both.

Before you Michael can reply, a thoughtful expression takes over your boyfriend’s face. “Unless you get those for free as well, Mikey?” He adds, “In which case we need a new bet…”

“I get them half price…” Michael laughs, the adorable sound making your heart melt a bit in your chest.

“We can get nachos next time anyway!” You interrupt, “I don’t want to ruin the nice meal you’re gonna buy for use later, Cal.”

Calum opens his mouth to respond but Michael interjects. “Yeah about that…”

For a moment you’re terrified that Michael is having second thoughts about the date. It’s obvious by the nervous look on his face that Calum shares your concerns.

Michael scratches the back of his neck anxiously. “I feel like I should be the one to buy dinner for you guys. I’m the one who should be romancing you both and stuff…”

Relief floods through you at Michael’s words, knowing that was his biggest concern about the night meant that you didn’t have to worry about him backing out. You have a whole speech ready about how Calum loves to be the one that treats his lovers to meals and gifts. It’s all part of how he shows his affections. You never get to say any of it, though.

Calum steps forward, cupping Michael’s cheek gently. “We’re the ones that asked you out, Mikey.” He smiles softly. “Let us take care of you and pay for the meal tonight, okay?”

Michael sort of melts under Calum’s gaze as he nods. You know from experience that when Calum turns on the charm like that, there’s no choice but to agree with whatever he’s saying. “As long as you’re sure?” The blonde replies, his eyes never leaving Calum’s.

“I’m sure, babe.” Calum insists, still holding Michael’s gaze effortlessly. “Hey, angel.” He adds to you without looking away, seemingly engrossed in Michael. “Would you be really mad if I stole the first kiss with our date.”

“Not if I get one right after!” You grin, stepping a little closer to the two men.

You can tell that Michael’s heart is pounding, that slight fear and panic that always engulfs you in the seconds before a first kiss with someone new, is painted all over the blonde’s pretty face. In an attempt to calm him and simultaneously feel more involved in the moment, you take Michael’s hand. He spares you a quick glance before Calum gently commands his attention once more.

“Are you happy with that, baby?” Calum asks, glancing down at Michael’s lips as he spoke. “We don’t want you to feel like you’re being passed around or anything.”

A tiny glint appears in Michael’s eyes that suggests he probably quite likes the sound of that actually. You make a mental note of that for when things hopefully do take a sexy turn a little further down the line. There’s no rush, though. Right now you're just excited to see Calum kiss your new date and then kiss him yourself.

“I’m more than happy with that.” Michael confirms, leaning ever-so-slightly closer to Calum. “I’ve thought about it a lot actually.”

Seemingly satisfied that he’s not pushing too hard, Calum pulls Michael’s face closer to his own until their lips meet. It looks like a soft and gentle gesture, their movements sort of hesitant, neither man wanting to come across as too pushy or eager.

It was strange that you’d been a bit worried about this moment on the run up to your date with Michael. Despite your attraction to the blonde, you’ve always had somewhat of a jealous streak and you’d been concerned that it’d rear its ugly head when Calum started showing Michael some romantic or sexual attention. However, now that it’s happening right in front of your eyes, the only thing you actually feel is excitement. It’s almost as though this moment marks the very start of a new chapter of your life, and it’s not nearly as scary as you thought it might be.

Watching Michael melt into Calum just makes you want to take them both home and explore this new thing alone with them. You know that it’s important not to rush, so you push those thoughts away for the time being, focusing on enjoying the moment.

When they finally pull apart, you waste no time in sidling between them, wrapping your arms around Michael’s neck. He looked even cuter up close; his eyes were such a pretty shade of green, you felt like you could lose yourself in them and if his lips feel as soft as they look, you don’t think you’ll ever want to stop kissing them.

Despite having just done this with Calum, Michael seems a bit nervous. The corners of lips twitch into a hesitant smile as he leans forward a little clumsily. You giggle softly, tilting your head a bit to make the angle easier.

Michael connects the kiss, his movements gentle and slow, giving you every opportunity to back out if you wanted to. That’s the very last thing on your mind, though. Michael’s lips feel every bit as heavenly as you’d imagined. You never thought that anyone could make your knees weak just with a simple kiss like Calum could, it seems you‘d been very much mistaken.

“God, you two are beautiful.” Calum whispers, his hand resting on your lower back as he hovers closeby.

A tiny hum escapes Michael, it’s almost a moan but he seems to catch himself before it quite develops into one.

You swallow it eagerly, sliding your tongue over Michael’s bottom lip to deepen the kiss.

“Looks like my angel loves kissing you as much as I do, baby.” Calum whispers, just loud enough for you and Michael to hear over the background noise.

The blonde man looks slightly dopey as he finally pulls away for air. “You’re both…” He breathes, seemingly trying to figure out the right words to describe you and Calum. “Uh, you’re both amazing, I…”

“We could say the same about you.” You reply, pecking one last kiss to Michael’s lips before snuggling into Calum. The contrast between the new exciting feelings you have for Michael and the deep, familiar ones you have for Calum make for the most wonderful combination. “Right, Cal?”

Calum hums in agreement, placing a kiss on your cheek and then Michael’s. “It feels like we’ve all hit the jackpot, doesn’t it?”

“Definitely.” Michael agrees, nodding enthusiastically. “I don’t know how I managed to get you this, but I couldn’t be happier about it.”

“Neither could we.” You confirm, stepping away from both men towards the keypad for your lane’s display monitor. “Now let’s whoop Calum’s ass so he can buy us burgers and cocktails!”

“The burgers and cocktails were always going to be my treat, but I wanna know what I’ll get when I win.” Calum smirks..

“What if the winner can choose any prize they want in the arcade and the loser has to get it for them?” Michael suggests. “I’ve had my eye on that cute little pumpkin keyring in the coin push machines for forever…”

You could tell by the expression on Calum’s face that he was already incredibly soft for your date. “Then you’d better win, hadn’t you?” He replies, pinching Michael’s cheek playfully.

“Calum’s terrible at the coin push machines, though.” You chuckle, “we’ll be here all night!”

“That’s okay…” Michael grins. “I get half off the nachos, remember?”

***

The first half of the game is mostly spent exchanging flirtatious banter and the three you of trying desperately to appear cool and sexy to the other two.

Even though you and Calum have lived together for quite a while now, and know pretty much everything there is to know about each other, you still find yourself trying to impress him as much you’re trying to impress Michael. You know that’s probably not the only surprising thing you’ll find about adding someone new to your relationship, and it’s a pretty exciting thought.

You try to imagine what other thoughts and emotions will be conjured up as time wears on and Michael becomes a permanent fixture in your life. Perhaps it’s far too early in your relationship for thoughts like that, but you can’t really help it. Although Calum has always been more than enough for you, Michael definitely seems like the perfect finishing touch to your lives.

“Yes!” Calum exclaims loudly, pumping his fist into the air as the final pin clatters over on the shiny wood of the bowling lane. “Looks like I just extended my lead even further.” He boasts, aiming a wink at you and Michael before ambling over to take a sip of his beer.

Jasmine had been kind enough to ask one of the waiters to bring you over a complimentary drink each. You’d insisted on paying but she assured you that she was allowed to give out a few freebies and it’d been a while since she’d exercised that privilege.

“Don’t get too comfortable in the top spot.” Michael retorts, ambling over to the ball dispenser and picking up his favoured green one. “I’ve made bigger comebacks than this in the past…”

You glance up at the scoreboard on the aging monitor hanging over your lane with a doubtful expression on your face. Calum has a considerable lead and you only had 4 goes each left. The likelihood of either of you overtaking him now is slim to none. Despite that fact, Michael looks pretty confident and you want nothing more than to encourage that. “Yeah, go on, Mikey! You’ve been heading for a strike all night.”

Michael beams over at you, obviously enjoying your enthusiastic motivation. He steps up to the lane, focusing harder than he has all night before taking a little run up and hurling the ball towards the waiting pins.

Watching intently, you cheer loudly, jumping up from your seat and clapping with excitement as all 12 pins are sent tumbling in every direction. “Yes! Mikey, you did it!” You shriek, running over to him and engulfing him in a huge congratulatory hug.

He giggles delightedly, wrapping you in a surprisingly firm embrace before kissing the top of your head.

The tiny contact sends butterflies dancing in your tummy as you melt into him, trying to prolong the hug for as long as possible.

“I told you!” Michael grins. “I’ve wanted that keychain for a long time, there’s not much I won’t do to get it.”

As you finally relinquish your hold on your date, you have a vision of him standing at the coin push machines, concentration etched into every inch of his face as he tries his absolute hardest to win the little pumpkin trinket.

“I might hold you to that, baby.” Calum smirks, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. “I’m actually tempted to just let you win if that promise stays on the table.”

“Pfft!” You huffed. “Let us win… wow Calum, I can barely hear you over the sound of your ego.”

Your boyfriend simply shrugs, a playful expression on his handsome face. “Hey, the numbers speak for themself, angel.”

***

It turns out that Michael’s strike was all that he needed to turn his luck around. After that he barely leaves a pin standing on each of his turns and easily ends up with the winning score.

“I think you lied about not practicing much.” Calum pouts, draining the last of his beer before leading the way back to the check in desk. “I think you were just holding out on us, to give me a fighting chance.”

A slightly guilty flicker in Michael’s eye suggests that there is possibly an element of truth to Calum’s accusation and you can’t help but laugh. “Oh stop moping and go get our boy his pumpkin keychain!” You command playfully. “I’ll decide what I want afterwards.”

Once the bowling shoes were all returned, the three of you headed towards the amusement arcade. Just like the rest of the complex, it was fairly busy. The delighted laughs of various little groups of people, the flashing lights and musical bleeping from the machines and the general playful atmosphere, wake up a childish excitement in you. It’s been a long while since you and Calum have had a date like this and you hope that Michael will help bring more of this element to your relationship.

Calum instinctively winds his arm around your shoulders and you notice that your date looks a little awkward, as though he’s perhaps feeling left out. To quickly remedy the situation, you reach out to tangle your fingers through Michael’s. He instantly smiles and relaxes, blushing a bit when Calum aims a fond smile his way. “So which machine do I need to defeat to win your prize, baby?” He asked.

Michael visibly appreciates the pet name, apparently he hasn’t gotten used to it yet. He points at one of the coin push machines in the center of the room. “The pumpkin keychain is in the one right on the end.” He clarifies. “I’m not sure how close to the edge it is, though.”

When the three of you arrive at the machine in question, both men examine it closely. Calum in particular appears to gauge the distance of Michael’s desired prize from the drop. “Well, it just so happens that I’m pretty amazing at these games, so it won’t take me long.” Your boyfriend states, his confidence returning with full force.

You know that Calum’s bravado is just a playful front, part of his way of flirting and simultaneously hiding his nerves. That doesn’t stop you from wanting to knock him down a peg or two occasionally. Smirking, you turn to meet Michael’s gaze. “Yeah, I hope speed impresses you, baby.” You giggle. “Calum’s kind of known for it in most areas…”

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wildmichaelflower · 4 years

Text

Our Forevers

Pairings: teacher!Michael/teacher!Calum/teacher!Reader

Warnings: Angst (that gets resolved), Mentions of food and water, Mentions of alcohol, Discussion of insecurities

Word Count: 1,477

Being a teacher was not an easy job, but it was the job you loved. You taught American and World History to high school students and, even in your fourth year, you took a sense of joy in seeing the interest beaming in your students eyes as you taught them about the eras of the past. This year, however, graduation would be just more bittersweet. Your first freshman class were seniors, and were just weeks away before beginning their adult lives. You were happy for them, of course, especially when many discussed how excited they were to begin college or job trainings. One of your partners, Calum, who taught middle school gym, tried to empathize you by discussing how he felt watching his first sixth grader class, now grown into eighth graders,prepare to go into high school in the fall.

“Be careful of those new freshmen in the fall,” he smiled as you two preapred dinner one night, “They’re full of angst and their favorite lunch days are pizza. Otherwise they only care about video games and the brands of their clothes.”

“Are you calling me an eighth grader?” Michael joked as he walked into the room, fresh from his shower, hair still dripping wet.

You giggled softly at his remark before following it with, “No, you have actually learned how to wear Axe spray.”

Calum chuckled, “The only correct way is to not wear it.” He shook his head as he added chopped vegetables to the salad, “The boys’ locker room will always smell like it, and I have to remind them not to spray it near my office.”

Michael grinned as he took a piece of garlic bread from the plate on the island, “Damn, I thought reminding second graders to wash hands before snack was hard.”

You smiled and turned to turn one of the burners off, covering the now completed sauce before focusing on the noodles.

“How are things in the doghouse anyway?” You smiled. Doghouse referred to his classroom, a joke Michael took great pride in. His first second graders said his last name reminded them of a cartoon red giant dog, and since then, his classroom door was designed like the entrance of a doghouse, and on the morning of the first day, students created a form of dogtag to personalize their desk.

He swallowed quickly before explaining a moment between a ‘Bobby’ and a ‘Susan’. Silly generic names were common in your household, as real names were legally protected, but it did make the stories enjoyable as well.

"Little Bobby had told Susan that if she didn't marry him on the playground, no one ever would. Poor girl was in tears," Michael shook his head before getting a beer. He took a few sips, before continuing, "I had to explain that no one was getting married on the playground that day." He grinned mischievously at his lovers, "but one day? Who knows?"

You laughed at the blonde man's suggestion before handing him his plate, kissing his cheek as he got salad from Calum, who chuckled in response as well.

"Yeah? You got the rings to propose first mister?" Calum smirked as he played the vegetables before giving Michael a kiss on the opposite cheek.

Michael blushed and shook his head, "Not yet, it's not we're made of money. I would have to get two engagement rings, other teachers barely scrape enough to get one."

It was true money was occasionally tight, no one went into teaching for money, but you three got by. Michael's tone, however, implied that he was genuinely upset.

You and Calum shared a look behind Michael's back as he went to sit down and Calum followed, placing the salad and garlic table In the center of the table before resting his hands on Michael's shoulder.

"Bunny, it's ok. We don't need fancy rings to be happy." He smiled softly and kissed his boyfriend's head.

You nodded, placing your and Calum's plates at the respective places on the table before kneeling on the ground, giving Michael a small smile as he looked at you before taking one of his hands.

"Cinnamon, we need you happy to be happy," you whisper, rubbing your thumb over his knuckles, "Nothing more."

Usually your and Calum's nicknames for your lover brought a smile to his face, but he seemed to stare past you, through you.

This was serious for him, and the best thing to do was to stay where you were, providing comfort until he found the words he needed to get off his chest.

Finally he moved his hands, the right on top of yours on his right knee, the left interlocked with the hand Calum placed on his right shoulder. He took a deep breath, before confessing,

"I love you both, you two are my sunbeam and snowball but I'm terrified for our future. I don't know if you noticed, but I have no idea what I'm doing. I almost never do."

You and Calum shared a look again but allowed Michael to continue.

"I want to marry you both, but I feel I'm not good enough for the two of you. You two are both so amazing at your job, while all I do is get paid to play with kids," he took a deep breath, emotion overwhelming his steady tone, "A-and I love my job, my kids are great, but when we go tell people our careers, I feel I don't get the same respect, because I'm in elementary. That's not on you two, of course," he smiled softly, giving each hand a reassuring squeeze, but there was no ignoring the tear that was falling down his cheek, "but when I speak of forever, I want to mean it. I do mean it." He leaned in to your touch as you wiped his tears, his hand gently placed on your wrist.

He sniffed then looked into your eyes, "I guess what I need to know is that our forevers last the same amount of time. It wouldn't be the same without either of you."

You nodded, your own tears forming as you whispered, "Of course Cinnamon, there's nowhere else I rather be than here with you and Peppermint," you looked at Calum, who nodded, kissing Michael's head again as his own tears fell into the older man's hair.

"We're sorry we never noticed, bunny. We're always here if you get scared or nervous. About your career, about us. Anything. Forever." Calum smiled and moved so he and Michael were face to face.

Michael nodded,giving you both gentle kisses before rubbing his face, wiping away the remnants of the tears.

"God," he smiled softly, "I really am lucky. The best lovers in the world chose not only each other but me as well."

"Nah, we're the lucky one babe." You slowly stood up, rubbing his back, "Are you ok if we start eating or would you like to come back to dinner and have cuddles?"

He shook his head, "I'm starving," he smiled, "and I've been looking forward to this spaghetti since you and Sunbeam mentioned in our group chat."

You nodded and went to heat up the food as Calum prepared drinks.

"I don't know," Calum smirked as he sat Michael's glass of water down, "I'm kinda craving themattababy now."

Michael frowned in confusion as he took small sips, before asking, "What's themattababy?"

"Nothing," Calum's grin grew as Michael had fallen into his trap, "What's the matter with you?"

You bit your lip to hold your giggle as Michael let out a loud, disappointed groan.

You set the plates back down and Michael gently grabbed your hand, doing his best to hold a serious expression but his failed attempts to not smile finally brought your giggle out.

"Snowball, I'd like to return one boyfriend please. He worked fine until I realized he made terrible jokes. Very defective, cannot be put back on the market."

You smiled and played along, "Oh? And how much did you pay for this defective boyfriend?"

"A whole makeout session," he smirked, winking at the boyfriend in question.

You laughed and glanced at Calum, who was trying to cover his grin with a playful pout as he set the last two cups down, "Well I am unable to provide a full refund at this moment, I can give you a coupon of equal value." You smirked.

"Deal." Michael grinned.

"Please," Calum playfully rolled his eyes, "You two wouldn't get rid of me that easily." he sat down at his usual spot of the circular table, on Michael's left and your right.

You smiled and nodded, kissing Michael before sitting down, kissing Calum's cheek.

"We're here for forever." Michael promised, smiling as his lovers nodded in confirmation.

Forever, you decided, would be the perfect starting spot for the men you loved.

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