#poor birbs being killed

[amethystfairy1]

Hi I just read all of traveling thieves and it was so so good! Perfect mix of angst and comfort, it hurts so well :) I'm so excited to see where it goes next

I love how pearl and gem are vibing assassinating people together, they really are just girlbossing their way around

also gems sword is really cool

Gem getting bloodthirsty over the missing payment and then the guy offers pearl and she's like fine. I could use a companion I guess. But I will remember this. And then said companion helps her Kill and she's having fun and they're having a good time scandalizing people about an avian acting like a normal person but they can't do anything about bc that's The Slayer, you can't just FIGHT her about it she's got a broadsword dripping with enchants that she wields like it's nothing, and suddenly, oh, when was the last time gem had a friendship like this?

And tango and zed! Tango my beloved, poor guy he's doing his best, zed is also doing his best, and zed just running up to him and interviewing him excitedly and tango just being like 'uh. this is happening I guess' as their first meeting? Love it

Also zed flexing his master-smith seal to get them places and also just going 'i do what I want, YOU depend on ME' when he confronts heath about the water incident? 10/10

I'm also excited to see how Scott and Jimmy are doing, maybe he wants to be a free bird!!! I also love the narrative of Scott gets captured, he's in this new place and he immediately goes up to sit next to the only guy in the yard sitting alone, and he tries to escape and his new friend with the gold wings helps and then tries to tell him not to do that bc it'll just make it worse on him and Scott goes fine. I'll do it myself. and he DOES it and Jimmy goes well hell. Alright I'm going with him

And everything happening at the swagon? Oh my god?? Love me some misunderstanding hurt/comfort

Like at the beginning, grians still new to this whole situation with people being Nice to him, mumbo and scar are animatedly discussing a plan and grians in the corner just. Stressing. And now he's gotten more used to this and he's laughing (with bird noises!) and flying and quipping and committing petty revenge on mumbo lol and then something happens and he's Stressing again bc it's only been A Month

I was SO SURE I connected some dots bc of the 'between two books, right where he always left it' plus mumbo putting stuff back after grian hits the bookshelf plus how attached grian is to it (I am Looking at how he's described as treating it like glass Twice) that the going flying paper was going to go missing but apparently I have not connected the dots lol

I also love how grians tiny and then scar and mumbo are So Much Taller than him lol

In conclusion: I think I went a bit feral writing this but I really enjoyed the fic 👍 :)

Oh my goodness, thank you thank you!

I cannot tell you how happy receiving something like this makes me! All the details and thoughts! I love seeing someones thoughts about my AU like this for all the different groups going around! I'm glad the angst and comfort balance out for you, I know it's a dark fantasy AU but I also want it to have that sort of warm fuzzy edge to it, like everyone is being taken care of now, even if things were bad in the past.

Zed is 100% the BEST he knows what he is WORTH my boy look at him go I love him. Tiny tiny birb Grian! He's so sweet and traumatized poor lil guy 😭

Pearl and Gem are MENANCES they are TERRORS and I love them! Yes, yes, Pearl has had a bit more time to get more comfortable with Gem, and her experience navigating the system has also left her less shattered than Jimmy or Grian, for reasons that have been mentioned and will also later be explored in more detail.

Thank you so much for your wonderful words and for sharing them!!! 💖

[05-redacted]

Can we get some headcanons where 049 is our parent/leader/caretaker.

○~●SCP HEADCANNOS ●~○

Let's be for real now

He would be having difficulty taking care of you and he knows that so he'll try to find a way to go and find a way to relocate you.

Yep

I said it.

This French birb would think of getting rid of you (in a nice way) before even thinking of taking you in as his own.

But if he can't find anywhere remotely safe for you to stay or if you already got attached to him. He is keeping you.

It may be a slow process but he will gradually grow fond of you overtime.

He will help you reach for something that's to high for you to reach. And he will cook something healthy for you to eat.

He will be a bit aloof and distant in the beginning but don't blame the poor fellow for he isn't experienced with children

If you ever acknowledge him with the word Papa, he will have a stroke.

He had never been referred too with such term of affection so he will stop what he is doing and be silent for a while dumbfounded.

You'll know if he wants you to not keep calling him that if he tells you specifically.

But for the most part he is fine with it.

He will teach you how to defend yourself be it physically or with words.

He will never let you be defenseless.

If you ever take an interest in his work he will turn you into an apprentice.

He will be so excited to show you his work and to teach you the language in which his notes are written in.

To him you are a pure being sent from skies above to bless him. He loves and cares for you so deeply.

You are both like a little family...

What?

You believe that this will be a nice happy story with nothing sad whatsoever?

No story is ever complete without some of that delicious angst

TW: Death,Chocking

Ever though of what would happened of you ever received the pestilence?

Of course you didn't

Once the Doctor notices a bit of sickness within you he will eradicate it.

He refuses to let you suffer the terrors and the horror the pestilence brings so he will save you as much as he can before its too late.

He loves you too much to allow you to go in such cruel way.

And how was that his down fall

Those eyes that once acknowledged you with warmth and paternal love were now replace with a coldness and hate.

What happened? Did you do something wrong? Is he upset? Did you make him mad?

You didn't know

And you wouldn't know until you wake up one night with the feeling of dread.

The feeling increases as you catch sight of the Doctor in your bed side staring at you.

Eyes dilated and breathing heavy

You feel a rush of emotions as everything happens quick. Your held down by the neck feeling as precious oxygen stops coming.

As much as you try to fight it the feeling of drowsiness comes and you could only look up to those eyes with a mix of betrayal and sadness.

And then

Everything goes dark.

Nothing is ever the same after that

The Doctor while performing mundane activities would mention your name or think about you.

He'd make dinner and sit in the table and call out to you a first and second time then growing worried as you don't respond.

And just as he is about to get up to go check on you upstairs he remembers.

He killed cured you

He would then look in silence at the empty chair that was always next to his and pick up the plate the was there infront of it and discard the contents it had.

This wasn't the only time it happened

The Doctor was once again alone

[shourin]

I just stumbled upon your god of war reader series and wanted to add in my own idea!

Mc: Is this yours? *holding a feral and terrified Xiao up by the scruff of his shirt like a kitten*

Guizhing and Zhongli: No?

Mc: Well, he is for now. *yeets Xiao at them* keep an eye on him I have a bitch to kill.

Basically instead of Zhongli, we were the ones who found Xiao fresh out of working for the archon who mistreated him (more like we just picked him up and left while everyone was too scared to stop us lol) and eventually decided that having Xiao stay at the Guili alliance would be a better environment for him to heal.

So one day reader just appears with Xiao in their arms all casually like: Can you watch my cat? Before leaving without another word because they decided to kill Xiaos previous master just in case.

It leaves Guizhing and Zhongli entirely confused because negotiations for forming an alliance had only just started and nothing was concrete yet you were already kind of trusting them with taking care of someone important to you???

Poor Xiao is devastated by the news for all the wrong reasons and wants to stay with them so they ask if they can stop by to visit every so often. It's clear from the look in their eyes that they're quite fond of Xiao, especially his chonky bird form, but they always maintain a certain distance that makes Guizhong sad to see. Maybe watching their interactions with Xiao, who has clearly been abused before meeting them, and how gentle they are with him helps change Guizhongs opinion of them?

Really just, Xiao being their unofficial-official first child with Zhongli as the other parent and Guizhong as the cool wine aunt, lol. Maybe Osial as some grumpy uncle if it's before his betrayal.

Sorry for such a long post, I'm not good at summarizing.

first off,

never be sorry for long post/asks, i love them <3

secondly,

hsdfjlskdjflk oml no but this could work.... i mean gow!reader is, at its core, a protector because of what happened in their past, so having them see xiao's suffering will certainly prompt them to act.

it's just that in this scenario i would see him becoming one of your adepti instead of morax's?? since you were the one who first saw him and actually rescued him, the sense of gratitude and loyalty he has in canon towards rex lapis would go to you. under morax and guizhong's tutelage, it would be his goal to have your stamp of approval, for you to allow him to serve you and devote his blade to your causes.

your relationship is of a slightly-awkward-but-trying parent and shy-and-equally-awkward-and-socially-struggling child, and it's both hilarious and frustrating to watch. i agree that guizhong would probably feel a little differently towards you once she sees you genuinely trying to help xiao. meanwhile, morax sees you sleeping under a tree with chonky birb xiao also napping on your lap, and he feels himself falling head over heels all over again... ah, same old, same old.

gosh, imagine him having a rivalry with your siblings!adepti. him wanting to prove his worth and how despite he's been on your side for a shorter period, his loyalty will not lose to your first disciples. he's definitely going to be one of your most trusted and feared generals for sure. and with your blessings, xiao would literally be unstoppable, this hurricane of wind on the battlefield, barely visible to the untrained eyes as he downs one enemy after the others.

you know what would be interesting? after the archon war ends, when morax decides to enlist the help of the yakshas, and he asks for xiao's help. right in front of you.

it's an understatement to say that you're furious.

you've hidden your struggles about the tortured souls haunting you thus far, so none of them knows about it at this point, but you know what thousands of years of killing would do to your adopted son xiao. it would be your first big fight with your lover (but certainly not the last), and unfortunately, this time, there's no guizhong to mediate between the two of you....

and xiao is just. standing there, anxiously glancing at the both of you, internally panicking because fuck my usually sickeningly lovey-dovey parents are actually fighting now what am i supposed to do???

© shourin | 2022 ◆ no repost. reblogs much appreciated. feel free to reach out to submit suggestions, feedback, comments, or if you just want to talk!

◇ taglist ◇ @paintingsofdragonspine | @genshinparty | @abyssmal-skies | @hamdehlesmis | @depressivecomforts | @sophiethewitch1

ps. if you want to be removed/added from the taglist, just send an ask or dm me!

[xamaxenta]

Hehehehe phoenix familiar being a shit. I like the idea that before the ‘nibbling incident’ sabo and ace are kinda leery around the phoenix. Like this is a legendary near holy creature that Marco for some reason treats like a misbehaving cat? Like the phoenix of myth, song beautiful enough to bring you to tears and Marco likes to put it in ‘hamper jail for biting crimes’ by overturning the hamper and placing it over the bird. Sabo and ace just don’t know how to deal with it.

Until, they to finally see that this is no creature of god, this is an overgrown idiot children as Marco grabs the phoenix by the ankles and turns it upside down and shakes to free little bat sabo free from its mouth yelping ‘drop it! I said drop it!’ And then lectures it like one does a puppy (still holding it upsidown) while it tries to nip his ankles.

Sure it can burn a man alive and heal the near dead but it’s also the reason there’s a baby lock in the fridge to protect the fruit

LMAO YOU GET ME

Poor bat Sabo tumbling out into Ace’s waiting palms, hes safe but he will never trust another creature bigger than himself, the audacity he exudes in bat form might win over the hearts of humans but an equally selfishly inclined and arrogant beast like a phoenix will only want to put him in his place

Sabo is not keen to be small around her anymore

She’s beautiful but daft, smart when she wants to be especially if it benefits her (ie. The child lock on the fridge because shes learnt to open things with her talons)

Hamper jail for phoenix familiar 😂 you just hear the stroppy toktoktoktok of her birb peets as she struts around with the hamper over her head

Ace cautiously asks Marco if shes gonna be okay after watching the bird walk and bonk off another chair and Marco shrugs like she’s fine, if it doesnt kill her no problem not that killing her is a problem lol

Ace always gets startled and nervous but pleased when the phoenix decides to roost on him, she coos all possessively over him and pecks at his hair alot she’s infatuated w him, familiar like contractual partner/owner then

She’s just taking comfort in the human her partner adores and bonds himself to thats all

Sabo begrudgingly respects her space and she does the same after the sabo bat got hunted for the phoenix’s own sport lmao

[stormvanari]

so um.

stuff about the HIE Squad:

Serial Designation H:

This birb brain (affectionate) is empathetic, geeky, talkative (only with someone she is close to), stoic, introverted, and envious.

When she was a maid back on Earth, H was one of the many Workers who were constantly yelled on the auditory system by her human superiors. She endured hell in the manor, such as shielding her face from a utensil thrown on it for not following manor etiquette and getting thrown into the pile of decommissioned Workers for making a mess in a guest room due to being told to clean up a dust bunny when it didn't really matter to H. She now wears a mask to hide the injuries and continues so as a DD to soften incoming damage.

After CYN's massacre, H was sent to Copper 9 as part of a squad composing of I and E to eliminate traces of the Absolute Solver. H's memory of SD-I being the one behind her feathery companion's murder (she let, hid, and observed a "black bird's" activities in the manor like Hunter with Flapjack in TOH) is erased, but she still retains the trauma of losing one of her only two friends on Earth. Due to I's incessant and poor criticisms of his squadmates, H decided to work independently and became perceived as a cold/merciless individual.

(I personally think of H as a harbinger of sorts cause one of her ways to scope prey is perching on high structures, such as a street lamp, and watching Workers' movements intently before diving at them)

Evidently, the caped DD originally enjoyed killing the Workers because she felt envious for them being free from human control while H was not....yet. At some point, she comes to believe that perhaps the Workers did in fact deserve the freedom they got.

Maybe H will fly with them too.

In a lighthearted note, H is very knowledgeable and talkative about birds, especially the "black ones" outside of the manor (although this bothered E since his systems retain the memory of him being pecked to death by those birds while chained to a tree back on Earth). She got into the subject during one of her breaks at the building's library where H was tasked to sort books on their respective shelves and put them in "perfect positions." She also likes collecting stuff, such as animal bones and frozen owl pellets, and took up photography when she became a DD to pass the time between her hunts.

I feel like H does take pictures of her prey's "faces of pain and agony" before killing them as a way to project her feelings of being subjected to abuse back in the manor (her systems still retain that memory as CYN’s weapon against the Solver) through envy.

Serial Designation I:

The boss of H and E's squad is mimetic, playful, insufferably charismatic, deceptive, and impulsive. When he worked as a butler, SD-I tried to blend in with the other humans, only to develop unhealthy habits along the way (ex: as a DD, I consumes large quantities of oil not done by a normal DD like how humans get drunk). Furthermore, he looks down upon his own kind since I was extremely focused on escaping a mundane life as a Worker.

At some point after the separation of his squad due to H finding out about E's "murder" (he gets cloned and sent back to Copper 9 like J, after getting turned into a big eldritch worm) at the local Cabin Labs, a frustrated SD-I sets out to find better and competent Disassembly Drones to eliminate more traces of the Solver. It's driven by the fact he's trying to keep his title as one of JCJ's top-performing squads, so he wasn't really allowed to hunt on his own.

(SD-I was the one that sacrificed E to the Sentinels and H, who was at a different part of the Cabin Labs her other squadmates were in, wasn't aware of this until later on. SD-I committed the act because E failed to do something in the hunt for Absolute Solver material)

However, SD-I gets struck by an identity crisis because what was he truly killing for? Were the branded pens worth it? Did the humans really think of their own creations as waste of trash? SD-I played many roles that he doesn't have one that really defines himself as a Drone.

First, he was a cook for the manor kitchen that studied the knife.

Second, he performed for the humans on stage and got thrown into the pile of decommissioned Worker Drones outside for playing the piano poorly.

Third, he became a squad leader with the intent of leading his "extras" to eliminate traces of the Absolute Solver.

And fourth, they failed to comply with his expectations and he's trying to find someone that is smart enough to work with him (but we know damn well many of the DDs have their personality faults that don't align with SD-I's expectations).

(Also changing I’s voice claim to Specter from Pac-man and the Ghost Adventures cause both characters share similar qualities/traits)

Serial Designation E:

He’s rational, creative, clumsy, impatient, and "kalm" ("Are you tired of being nice? Don't you just want to go apeshit?"; He is very, VERY violent at shredding his prey when he can't take things anymore). He's the third member of a squad composing of H and I.

Back on Earth, E originally served as a repair drone for the manor. However, an accident that led to a traumatizing punishment transferred him to the role of an accountant afterwards: because he is very good at numbers, E was glued to calculating manor costs.

As a Disassembly Drone, E tries to get his squad together to avoid delays in their hunt for Absolute Solver traces. Additionally, he relies on electroshock weapons, such as a taser, hacks technology, and "revives" dead Workers to turn into abominable weapons that would make Sid from Toy Story cackling in joy. He usually works in the backlines, but he hunts for Workers for the sake of surviving until the squad's mission is complete.

During a mission to the Cabin Labs, E failed to catch a Worker infected by the Absolute Solver and a furious I threw his colleague to the Sentinels to maul E, thus abandoning the inventor DD with the other dead DDs. H was not aware of this situation until she got an alarming context clue from I at some point, and the squad separated from there (kind of, cause H and a cloned E work together to stop I despite the inventor DD's discomfort of H's love for birds) with the increasing antagonism between H and I following.

In a light-hearted note, E is a gamer. He found a broken Tintendo Swap and a box full of games compatible with it in an abandoned apartment during one of his hunts. Through cartoon logic, E fixed the device and finds himself enjoying the kaizo(-inspired/like) games. Also, E’s hunts involve him doing “video game moves.”

[a-legacy-not-to-be-forgotten]

What exactly does Martlet's job entail? And how does Axis feel about the entire situation?

Technically this was somewhat answered in the last ask, but this gives me more of an opportunity to cover anything I might've missed.

As stated, in SequenceShift, Martlet is the Royal Scientist, taking the reins after Chujin went into exile. Ceroba elevated her to that position, because Martlet did have a bit of expertise with the first SOUL experiments and was pretty much the only one who could continue them.

However, basic expertise is all she really has. She's more skilled at engineering than anything involving biology or SOULs, and really lacks her mentor's finesse in that area. Also, Chujin destroyed most of his notes, so she doesn't have much to fall back on there. This really stresses the poor birb out (tho on a Heartwarming note, Ceroba does her best to help alleviate it at times). She's mainly responsible for the puzzles across the underground meant to apprehend humans. On a Pacifist or Neutral Route, she actually joins up with Clover and helps disable some of the puzzles. Tho, Martlet being Martlet, she's forgotten the solutions to a couple of them.

As for Axis's role, he has a lot of his ruthless pursuer tendencies from UTY, mixed in with the showmanship of Mettaton. He’s willing to do anything to get eyes on himself, but that's mainly part of a coping mechanism. He's trying to fill in a void left by Chujin's departure, believing personally bringing a human to the Empress will get him the fame he desires. Also, unlike Mettaton being widely loved, Axis is more or less kinda just...acknowledged, much his frustrations. Also, just like UTY, he killed the Integrity human in this timeline, too, due to a fault in his programming. I haven't worked on the finer details yet. One idea I had was the Integrity human taking the place of Chara as the first human to fall to the Underground, but I'm still working on that. Either way, it's left him very remorseful for his actions. So yeah, just like Undertale and UT Yellow, just about everyone in SequenceShift needs hugs.

[toournextadventure]

The amusement park ask got me thinking what if they all went to the haunted house? 🤔

Wednesday would be having the time of her life seeing everyone scared and instead of the one being scared, she is scaring the actors. Gal will stand there and glare at the actors to the point they’re backing up out of fear. She’ll even go as far as to split up from the group only to appear behind, in front of, or beside them. Not saying a word. Or, she’ll follow the group while they’re trying to find her, tap their shoulder, only to disappear when they turn around

Birb is trying to be fearless, “Psshh that wasn’t even scary 💪😤” meanwhile her wings are ruffled, crying, hyperventilating, shaking, and clinging to one of the gfs for support. Despite her fear, if she sees one of the gfs scared, she’ll start throwing hands with the actor, animatronics, or room for scaring the girlfriends.

Phoebe isn’t bothered at all. She isn’t scared but she isn’t necessarily calm. She’s just “meh 😐”. Like, that girl already witnessed people get killed and looked at it like it was nothing, so I’m sure a haunted house won’t do much.

Tara is scared SHITLESS and that bitch does NOT try to hide it. I mean, people dressed up in costumes? There’s bound to be a Ghostface and you know damn well Tara’s clinging to someone for dear life.

Camila DARES them to try and scare her. She doesn’t get scared but if she does, she either does one of two things. 1) yells at them in Spanish (2) throws hands.. or both

Lorraine, surprisingly, doesn’t get scared at the actors. She gets scared at the animatronics and the rooms. She could see a room with blood on the walls, chained bodies, dismembered bodies, chains, and poor girl will go into a panic attack (because of the flashbacks to the basement scene) [the girlfriends obviously help her instantly]

Vada is having the time of her life. She LIVES of the adrenaline rush. It makes her feel so high. To make the experience better, she gets high before going JUST so she can enjoy it more. That little bastard tries to have sex with one of the girlfriends because “you only live once”

🫐

Listen, they're all AWFUL at a haunted house, especially when Wednesday decides that she, too, wants to be the haunted house. Sweet Birb is just trying to stand in between everyone and the threat with wings out like some sort of barrier (bless their little heart). Most of them have that fight instinct (because lowkey picture them all having gone through what actually happened in their movies/shows) so they are ready to swing at all times

Which is exactly what gets them banned from every haunted house they go to because "can you please not injure our performers, this is their job" and everyone realises "you know what... maybe we shouldn't do anymore haunted houses. We live with Wednesday, I think we experience it enough on a daily basis"

[mocacheezy]

Watched Rise of Beasts with @minoan-ophidian today, so here are some of my scrambled sleepy thoughts (under readmore bcs of spoilers)

Mirage made me cry there near the end, HE CANNOT DIE AFTER ALL THIS. He grew up on me and I started caring about him so quick.

I loved how both Noah and Optimus are just trying to look out for their own people but come together in the end. NOAH AND PRIMAL SAVING PRIME WAS ALSO A MOMENT WHERE I JUST WENT YES

Birb wife died and I really, really hoped she wouldn't. I thought that was cosmic rust or something of the like. Atleast Primal was able to come to terms and make her suffering end.

Speaking of Airrazor, I cannot believe she didn't tell others she has been hurt, like Elena saw it and said it doesn't look good, they probably wouldn't be able to completely reverse it but like... Rhinox or Cheetor could stay with her? Or they would know to watch out for her, instead our poor girl looks like she's corroding and gets brainwashed by Scourge.

Elena asking Primal if the Maximals are responsible for things the ancient civilizations accomplished and him chuckling before saying they had nothing to do with it and can't take credit for human ingenuity/imagination ... I do not remember the exact words, but I am OVER THE MOON LIKE YES!! YES, THE CIVILIZATIONS HAD CONTACT BUT THE ALIENS WEREN'T WHY THEY EXISTED AND CREATED MANY AMAZING THINGS!!! I LOVED THAT!

Primal communicating and trusting the humans, the Maximals being part of the community for 100 of years, being able to trust their safety and the safety of the transwarp key... It made me emotional, especially with how Prime initially reacts to having humans help

It also made me panic a lil when Primal entrusts Noah and Elena with the key, because HE BELIEVES NO HARM WILL COME TO IT. AND NOAH ALMOST DESTROYS IT!!! LIKE!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAA!!!!!

PRIME DIDN'T DIE THANK FUCK!!! I know these are supposed to be the prequels to Bayverse movies, but honestly? There could be some mumbo jumbo conjured up as to why "he might be dead, or maybe he survived". It's nice there was no need for that.

I wasn't sure Bee was going to come back, and boy am I glad there were those energon deposits on Earth

I did not expect Wheeljack. I forgot he was here, and tbh if his name was smth else that would be perf fine. But eyo.

Nightbird is my love, my life, gender goals, the queen, I am presenting my throat and I would let her slice it willingly like MA'AM. The non-binary energy as soon as she came on screen was yes. Just yes yes yes. Perfection. My she/he/they (ona/on .com) self is ECSTATIC, I love her. If I cosplay transformers in the future she is absolutely one of the characters

Arcee was so gorgeous, my bi heart was all doki doki

Scourge was also super cool and I really enjoyed the interactions with Unicron and how Prime killed him. Fucker deserved it.

Tbh I want to keep going but my eyes are falling shut from all the energy my excitement burned up so lemme just say

GREAT MOVIE!

LOVED IT!

WENT IN WITH NO EXPECTATIONS AND MINIMAL KNOWLEDGE, AND HAD AN AWESOME TIME

If I had to rate it, it would be 9.8/10, with that 0.2 just me wishing the Maximals talked more and that Barney came in frame, said Yeeeesssssss and got punched in the face by Primal. Rattrap would be too powerful if he was in the movie, he would steal all the spotlight off of Mirage, so his absence is understandable.

And @ my slovene peeps, Cineplexx theater is INSANELY GOOD folks, Supernova Rudnik delivered quality experience, 3D očala so izredno prijazna za nas špeglarje. Pokovka je gromozanska, in slushy tasted great.

So yeah, GREAT TIME, I RECCOMEND THE MOVIE, and here are pics of the earrings I made and wore to the cinema!

[reilliane]

ayo i have come to deliver mercy!angst before ichor comes out

what if mercy!xiao after, presumably, trying to find mercy!mc but shes in like idk one of ambers or rimed ice (the ones on dragonspine) or smth similar? like he can see (or maybe sense) her inside but heres the thing: now what?

yeah he's found her but being out of the cage for too long (and not stopping her decay) has left her hanging on by the thinnest thread to life. and any option xiao chooses at this point? it doesnt matter. shes, for all intents and purposes, dead

he could leave her where he found her. or maybe bring her back to wangshu or an adeptal abode, but at that point its really just a fancy grave, where he could come back and just see her and all thats left is the regret of his emotional distance and the thoughts of what could have been

if he tries to get her out, its already too late. the moment shes out shes as good as gone. she wouldnt be alive long enough for him to get her back in the cage (if it would even help at this stage) or even apologize or say a final goodbye to her while she can still hear it while it still mattered

ooooo u know how when havria died, her power kinda exploded everywhere, killing everyone in the vicinity? what if the power in mercy!mc has gotten to that point? like she isnt a god, but all that power has to go somewhere if shes dead right? and if xiao does free her in an attempt to save her (he doesnt know) she dies and that results in some catastrophe and now he has to suffer the consequences of both his sister dying in his arms and the lives her death has taken (he didnt know) (he just wanted to save her - wanted her back. he regrets the way hes treated her - he tries to fix his mistakes - and where has that gotten him?)

so like the two options is basically: leave her in a state of living death/stasis or kill her. its essentially the same thing at that point (he cant save her. he could never save her)

ooohh nooo wait so like xiao has some really bad self esteem in canon already and thinks hes undeserving of love bc of the things hes done yeah? oooo boi this would ruin him. his sister was a monster, he was a monster, what makes him think a monster like him with the blood of a monster (how could he not be a monster when his sister became one) (she could never be a monster in his eyes but he knows it does not excuse her actions) could ever do something good?

(how could he not protect her? isnt it his duty as the elder to protect her? he should have. he should have been stronger. if only he was. he could have stopped her if he wasnt so weak back then. why couldnt he be stronger? for both their sakes? why? whywhywhywhywh-

...

...its all his fault)

(oh this got long) (long brainrot for long fic ig)

Mm this is one thing that definitely constitutes most of Xiao's fears, mercy and I believe, canon-wise. He really takes protecting to the next level ya no?

Being unable to do that just gobbLES HIM up (coughrancor) but indeed, mercy-wise, especially with mercy!mc's already weak and telling health... oh dear, the poor boo :(

Fuuuuuufuuu - MC's power having to go somewhere after death tho, haha, true~ Ichor covers that cause there are a lot of things that are covered behind the scenes (read: when mc's sleepin' like the bb birb she is).

Say this were to be the case, I can juuuuust say that as much as it is a difficult choice, it's a no-brainer. Xiao will have to leave MC in that amber :))

It's a 'sacrifice one or sacrifice hundreds' kind of quandary.

MC understands, she definitely does. After the revelation of the truth in Mercy, there's nothing more that she'd want. She has slaughtered thousands under the influence of that 'blessing'.

She'd plan to just die naturally in that amber (even if it's meant to keep living beings in stasis, her decay is inevitable since it's a supernatural thing) but big bro just has to come and see huh :(

Well as they say.

Sacrifice is the greatest form of love :')))

[moonmeg]

NO! No ifs, ands, or buts, Caleb Clawthorne. You sir are going to b e subjugated to the oh-so-horrible fate of being married to the woman you love. I'm sure it'll be horrible, but you'll just have to deal with it. 🙄

Side not: flapjack and caleb's face after he saw his birb were adorable and I will cherish them

Poor boy is just so confused about Cat's reaction and that her decision hasn't changed at all. He expected her to yell, to be mad and to say she can't live with or marry him now after that confession. He expected her to hurt him verbally and leave him, like Philip did just shortly before the confession. He expected to be hurt. Not to be comforted and reassured, he didn't expect Cat to reach out for him and talk to him calmly, her still being affectionate with him, her still loving him once she finds out about the witch hunter thing.

He can't understand that because that was never the reaction he got from others.

Cat however, while indeed hurt and mad that he lied, understands that the witch hunter he claims to be now ,after Philip's gaslighting, is not who he is now. It's his upbringing that he had no control over, his past where be didn't and couldn't know any better, it's a part of him but it's not who he is. She knows he changed, she witnessed it over the months. She's not mad Cal was raised to hate and kill witches and such, she's shocked about that and she will need time to truly process this, but she is only mad he lied about it for so long.

Some may not understand Cat's decision. That's fine. We all react differently to certain situations and while some may have followed Cat's path other's wouldn't have done that.

[animereviewsbykyranskye]

Reviews while I watch Trigun Stampede: Episode 6-9

I am so far behind on all of these. I just burnt myself out on anime, hopefully we can slowly catch up on everything. Let’s start with a show I’ve really been enjoying. 

This man is going to die. Oh the mystery dude got shot a bunch. And drank something. Why are his eyes red???

The site I watch on now has a section to show where the opening is, nice! I missed this opening. They really went all out with these sand physics. 

We still don’t know about Vash’s arm from what I remember. 

They really said fuck it, Make him hella pretty and give off extreme amounts of gender envy. 

Actually, why does he look the same after 20 years? 

THIS IS SET ON EARTH??? How is everything covered in sand? Actually it might not be. The land masses just seriously resemble earth and the voyage is reminiscent of the trip taken for the Dutch East Indian Spice trades. 

New villain. Why is Wolfwood helping Vash again? Isn’t he with his brother?

Epic fight scene is short and epic. 

Wolfwood knows the villain. 

Backstory time! Pretty characters. I love this art style. How the hell did he land like that. They make friends with the birbs. 

OH GOD THAT TRANSITION GAVE ME A FRIGHT.

Here they come!

They surf the sand, sick. 

More backstory! Livio didn’t even come to say goodbye. 

By god he was experimented on. This is a terrifying sequence. 

So the liquid helps him heal? 

OHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUUUUCK. WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING THIS EPISODE????

WHOS THIS NEW GUY?

WHAT IS HAPPENING?

This man has trauma! And yet him and Vash are still protecting each other. 

Man, this new guy is hellishly powerful. 

----in between episode thoughts----

I did not expect this much character development one episode after introducing him, da heck. This episode was so dark. I can’t wait to do a full rewatch of this show when it’s all released. If it continues like this then this will hurt so damn much. 

----Episode 7----

More stakes with less than a minute in. 

Oh no. He must kill his brother!

XD The news reporters were kidnapped to be news reporters. Best. Aw, she’s crying. 

Somber music incoming. 

I wonder how much medicine he still has. 

AAAAAAnd Vash is stopping him from killing his brother. Classic. And the bug is dead. New bug. 

This man takes the time to light a cigarette. Aw. He remembers the smell. 

Yeah, he’s dead. Shame, poor Wolfwood. 

Hi

This man just kicked down a metal door. 

All the people on this ship must be seriously panicking right now. 

What does wolfwood think he’s going to do? 

Roberto is so done with all of this. 

HEH? How the fuck did they push that?

New plot point. Vash’s arm is damaged. 

He is going to mess with the plant. Time for the space knowledge. Oooo. The plant is opening. There is something in the plant!

That is a really big sandstorm. 

WHAT DID HE DO?? IS VASH A PLANT? AHHHHHHHH??????

----between episode thoughts----

I have nothing to say. I want to immediately go to the next episode but I need snacks. 

I has snacks. Let’s do this. 

----Episode 8----

Backstory! And they have weird markings from the neck down. Immediately confirmed. The twins are plants. So why is the brother destroying/taking the plants?

What happened? They were so happy...

Trauma. 

This poor child. Imagine being a reason all your people are dead. 

So Vash is as human as plants can get. 

Awwwww. 

Is he tallying days?  And he can feel the plant’s emotions and thoughts. 

He ate! And he’s making friends and helping. Things are going to go to shit aren’t they?

The jacket!!

Yeah things are going to go to shit. 

Nooooo. Things are going to shit. Don’t run away Vash! He took the photo of his twin!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, do we not get to see more??? We need to know what happened. And how he lost his arm! Ahhhh. Don’t stop it there. 

Yay!

Oh god. Dead plants. And the brother.

Not yay.

----between episode thoughts----

Well that was a rollercoaster, that’s for sure. First wolfwood backstory and now Vash’s. So much is happening. Do we know how many episodes this show is meant to have yet?

----Episode 9----

Not the piano again. Why does Nai also give Gender envy, this isn’t fair. 

Aww, they’re playing together. But Nai doesn’t want to play together. Damn good music though. 

Oh god, they’re killing them. 

Question, how does Nai look human? Like nothing is covering the other parts of him like Vash does? Wait no, Vash looks the same. Confused now. When did they manage to not have all the other parts, or were those just clothes. 

OH god. Nai is cool but also terrifying. Origin story of the villain. 

And that’s where the gun comes from. 

Wait does Vash actually kill her? Nevermind. Nai will. 

I mean Nai technically still cares about him. 

HEH????

A gate?? There goes the arm. 

AND THE GUN!

Okay. He’s not destroying them. But trying to eliminate humans to build a world of only plants. 

So Bard made the arm for him. 

This man is over 150 years old??

So the people of this world don’t know about flora? 

Has Meryl and Roberto been captured?

Okay, so different planet. Just looks like earth. 

That’s a lot of plants. 

----after thoughts----

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo]

thousand autumns donghua, episode 12~

shen qiao: I'M ON A BOAT I'M ON A BOAT TAKE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT THE MOTHERFUCKING BOAT yan wushi: hiiiiii 😈 shen qiao: hi 😩 OH MY GOD he stole shen qiao's tea!!! shen qiao looks SO DONE with him lmaooo OH LOOK it's the suffering masses AGAIN!! HELLO EVERYONE!!! (part ii) PARKOUR!!! actually i'm suprised they haven't decided to eat the man who fell off his horse. it's what i would have done lol (for legal purposes this is a joke. birb does not engage in cannibalism. usually.) did did chen gong send shen qiao a box full of food THAT'S. A BIT WEIRD. U COULD HAVE JUST SAID SORRY, MY MAN. or at least delivered it fast enough to save the lil orphan girl ;A; AWWW SHEN QIAO'S CRYING ;A; FECK IM GONNA CRY TOO ;A; POOR TINY CHILD, SHE DIDN'T NEED TO DIE 😭😭😭 o-oh my goodness. who. who is. who is this??? he's choking my poor bai rong but. but he's so STYLISH, he so EYE-CATCHING. i do not like him but. he kinda. hot. 👀 BABIES!! MORE LIL BABIES!!! OHHH THE LIL BABY IS THE ONE FROM BEFORE, AND HE'S NOW A SECT MEMBER, GOOD FOR HIM!!! he's so CUTE, he so sweet and polite omg ;A; yan wushi: how dare u introduce me as ur friend. i'm OBVIOUSLY ur future husband >:( shen qiao: friendzoned :) shifu putting on airs, his tummy immediately making a liar of him lmfao 🤣 yan wushi: i can't stand the sight of joy or the sound of children's laughter, brb i must break the forest D:< oh damn the old man is kinda…..hot when he's angy and suffering???? 👀😳🥵 WAIT NOT NOT LIKE THAT well ok. exactly like that lol 🤣 OH!! our new friend with the white hair is called sang jingxing!!! he has a funny voice, and a very prominent chin!! useful for telling everyone apart lol 'we are destined' UHHHH WHAT????? WOW UH. OK THEN 😳 shen qiao is very secure in his conscience, i appreciate that about him!!! what a good boy :D shen qiao: we're friends, right? yan wushi: >:) shen qiao: …..friends, RIGHT?? oh. well i guess i guess the old man is just kidnapping him then. all right. WAIT IS THIS THIS SMELLS OF BETRAYAL YAN WUSHI U WATCH URSELF!!! >:V when they say 'infatuated' they mean 'qi deviation' right??? otherwise this conversation is,,,,,,,not what i thought 😳 poor shen qiao, everybody betray him ;A; I AM FED UP WITH THIS WORLD! UR TEARING ME APART, OLD MAN!! sang jingxing: so can i have ur boytoy or yan wushi: yeah sure, he's all urs >:) PERFIDY!! TREASON!!! LIES AND SLANDER!!! yan wushi: wait before u eat him. i wanna psychologically terrorise him first sang jingxing: oh ok, i'll wait. *backs off* yan wushi: now, what was i saying?? OH RIGHT. let me shame u for being a good person, bc it's UR FAULT that i can't be bothered to treat u with respect and kindness!! if ppl weren't so STUPID i wouldn't be able to hurt them!! it's easier to blame the victim than the perpetrator after all!! and if u didn't want me to betray u, u shouldn't have worn ur robes so short >:) shen qiao: u disappoint me :( yan wushi: lol as if i care. BYE BITCH~~~ ahhhh, NOW sang jingxin will kill him! poor shen qiaaaaoooooo ;A; aww he's such a good guy, who could ever hurt him?? he just believes the world is a kind place!! always giving ppl second chances!! i love he, my poor sweet shen qiao ;A; UH yanwushi was able to ''''implant evil spirit in ur body''''' is that is that a euphemism bc that's a bit weird 👀 NO!!!!! SHEN QIAO!!!! MY BOY!!! DON'T LOSE HOPE!! DON'T GIVE UP!!! U ARE THE GOODEST BOY!!! IT'S WORTH BEING NICE!! IF U CAN HELP ONE PERSON AND MAKE THEM SMILE, IT'S WORTH IT!!!! AND U ALREADY HAVE SO DON'T GIVE UP BBY OH MY GOOOOOOOOODDDD IS HE DOING A HEROIC SACRIFICE???!?!!!! NOT THE CLIFF!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO HE'S FUCKING CRYING AS WELL????? HE'S SUCH A GOOD PERSON OH GOD OH FUCK I CAN'T HLEP HIS SHIFU TEACHING HIM ABOUT NUANCED THINKING AND SAYING HE'S THE CUTEST?????? SSTOP DON'T TOUCH ME I'M RLY VULNERABLE RN 😭😭😭

[sinnerzforsaintz]

So, because I guess I am picking up Striker as a muse now lmfao

I should probably dump some basics for my guy here. The obvious stuff like hating the birbs and most royals at least.

His father was from Envy while his mother was from Wrath. He had a rough up bringing, his father was a pirate while his mother was a horse/cattle rustler. He learned to hold a gun, ride a horse and kill a guy before he was the age of ten. He's a jack of all trades and a conman in his own right. Taking care of a ranch is just like taking care of a ship in his eyes.

When he was about 16, both his parents were put to death by the Goetia for their crimes and Striker was spared then taken in by one of the Goetias staff since he was a 'dirty orphan child' now. Because he had handled horses from a young age, he was made to be the stable boy. Striker learned how the royals lived first hand and watched how they treated Imps of all kinds, including himself.

Having had enough of the Goetias treatment of him, Striker took off at 17. Holding onto his bitter resentment of the birbs and all they stood for, deciding someone needed to knock them down a peg, make them suffer everything they put Imps through but being a poor young man, he wasn't capable of getting his hands on the blessed weapons he needed for that.

He picked up the job of being a hitman because he had no name or face in most places since, it wasn't like the royals had paid attention enough to even pull him out of a line up and he was always moving around with his mom and dad due to their lives.

(This doesn't really matter unless a Stella rper is up for it but I think it would be funny that it was her family he worked for and that's why she knew to go to him for the job of killing Stolas. This could also go for Andrealphus as well because they're siblings so he could have just off hand suggested it to her.)

[bnbc]

I and Q for Kou, T and N for Rach, and W for both ❤️

Omg thank you so much for so many asks!! Fluff Alphabet

Inspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Where is my clown nose because y e s.

The most notable moment was when Kou (along with me LMAO) was thinking that she is in a good place mentally, and it’s on her to help one grumpy bodyguard to recall how to live for himself. And well, she did. But later it turned out that she… wasn't really living either but surviving. So here we both were, being scolded likes school girls by my mental image of a certain pixel man xD

And also, there were some consequences of Kou’s old trauma we both counted as resolved, and they also got better with time. I don't really like to talk about all this problem complex, but thanx gowo for being patient and respectful to her xD

And ugh she kinda broadened her horizons because of him? Started to learn his language and study culture to understand him better (poor granny Wako who became her guidance lmao) I can’t say she always is a smart student SHE IS NOT she is a chaotic i-know-better-i-m-gonna-act type but she is trying and its priceless

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

IDK really. Does the ability to be an adorable gonk count? It's a very special ability I INSIST and it's hella handy in a relationship.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Goro is the one who should be thanked for Kou keeping her old eyes in her new life. Well, the shape was similar originally, but when ‘saka modified Kou’s body they installed their own optic, of course. It was a no good because when Goro visited Night City in 2082 (??? I don't rember my dates sorry) he met with Vik and got from him Kiroshi with integrated old fashion lenses similar to those Kou used to wear, and he promised Vik that when Kou is back she will be looking at the world with her own eyes.

So, there was a problem. Goro wasn’t in the position to demand anything openly as he needed to play it like he had no personal motives in bringing Kou back to life. But he needed this done so he reached out to one of the medtechs responsible for her modification and basically forced him to change her eyes (using threats and personal info, it was a REALLY unpleasant scene) and to hide all the information about this surgery. So, she’s got her Kiroshi that seemed like Arasaka optics to the whole system

I just think it’s neat

and thank you so much for rembering about ms Vogelman :3

Thrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Routine kills! Actually, Rachel has a kind of open relationship with her partner. Partly because she sometimes needs something new, partly — because she isn’t really into BDSM stuff and Meredith needs to see someone else for it (but mostly ‘cuz they both are busy and stressed af and sometimes don't see each other for a long time and don't mind about little something on the side as long as it says one-night stands)

Nicknames - What do they call their s/o?

Rachel shortens Meredith’s name to “Mer”. Meredith sometimes calls Rach Birdie because of her suname (Vogel means birb in german) and because Rachel likes to sing (she love musicals and knows a lot of cool parts)

Wild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

When they get togeter again (after their break up in 2077, not long before game events end) they invited a lawyer to create terms of their relationship and signed the contract. Yes, for dating. I think, it’s cute for them lmao.

[tsuki-sennin]

Happy Momo Monday~! Er, uh... Taro Tuesday~! ...Thursday, I know it's Thursday. I uh... didn't feel like doing it on Monday so I put it off and I'm doing it now. Oh well. Y-you don't mind, right?

Spoilers, I guess...

-Ah yes, Haruka appreciated the headpat. And the Noto Gang seems to be in fear of these Juto things.

-Oh! We did it again, Haruka-chan~! Your friends are cheering you on! Your lame-ass boyfriend gave you a headpat!

-...this ain't right.

-I guess Haruka got magically uncancelled. All the adults in my life used to tell me and my friends that we'd become absolutely worthless and unloved if we ever plagiarized anything, so it's doubly impressive that Haruka managed to bounce back from that in celebrity purity-obsessed Japan.

-"You've been carrying this team, Haruka. Would you like to quit now?"

-Guild admin Don Kaito.

-Wow, so Haruka's essentially been blackmailed.

-...and yet the look on Don Kaito's face...

-I'm gonna be totally honest, even if I believed Haruka's plagiarism allegations (if I were in this universe, that is), I'd probably still enjoy reading First Love Hero anyway. Like, she's 17, and even if I believed that she was in the wrong and the person accusing her of it is right, she's like a full grown adult reissuing her work with Haruka's name out of spite. Now, I'm not trying to downplay how big of a dick move plagiarism is in the real world, but some real stupid and spiteful people throw that word out for no reason, and it sucks knowing it could happen to somebody I care about.

-Ippei-sensei seems burnt out on the kinda fame Haruka wants. I can respect a man who likes a classic shoujo story though.

-OHHHH HELLO, TENTACLES

-...is that a pirate? ...GOKAI-KI :O

-Oh, Haruka's back with her wet-blanket boyfriend.

-She didn't even know who the Pupper and Birb are. Shameful.

-Ah, yep, there she is, the creepy adult woman following around this high school girl!

-IT'S THE AUTOGRAPH GUY :O

-GOKAI-KI

-Oh! I know who this woman is! I saw people talking about her on Twitter. Hiyori Katada, she originally auditioned for Haruka before Kohaku Shida got the part. And now she's OniSistering.

-"Awwww, c'mon! I can't even escape from OniSister even when I'm not her!"

-I wonder, is this kinda like a Daita/Daigoro situation? I mean, they're both Yellow Ranger roles being switched out...

-I see the new girl's a bit more respected by Don Momotaro. Didn't even kick her lmao

-Marina Maeda...

-"Uhhhhh, yeah, I totally don't know who you Donbura guys are, you wanna tell me more about you?"

-"Woooooow, you're cool, Miss Manga Artist~!"

-Shinichi just like me, fr :sob:

-Seems like Haruka Kito's got a Wonderful Life, if you know what I mean.

-She may be good at her chosen craft of manga, but that evidently came at the cost of her cooking and footwork being on the level of a dog.

-OHHHH

-OHHHH MARINA-SAN'S MAD

-She certainly doesn't seem to take her curse as well as Haruka has.

-Seems like the Juto haven't killed off that bus full of people yet. That's a relief, at least.

-OHHHHHHHH THEY'RE HERE

-THAT POOR CHEF

-So, acting as a Donbrother curses you, no matter who you are.

-Haruka's running commentary is a bit weird.

-That's a lovely shot.

-Hey, what the hell, man!? You don't just grab a girl like that!

-Gokai-Ki appears!

-Yeah, run away you little bitch!

-Oh, I get it. The pirate steals the hard work of others to prop himself up. Very clever.

-Ohhhh, hi Sononi~! Yaaaas queen, kick ass~!

-Marina's heart wavers.

-She still has her camera on hand... :(

-Haruka's resolve burns.

-"Put me back in, coach! Somebody's dream is on the line!"

-Swing that shit, girl!

-Oni Robotaro~!

-Festival time~!

-Robotaro Festival~!

-Yo! Yo! Yo!

-Ohhhhhhh, is this an insert song~!

-Ahhhhhh, they're all goin' full force~!

-Man, I don't even care it's CG, were going all out~!

-Party Time~!

-Avataro Zan, Avataro Zan~~!

-Don! Don! Donbrothers~!

-Here's hoping Gokai-Ki's host reflects on what he's done.

-Back to square one, Haruka-san. But hey! Marina's life is back to normal, that's pretty good at least.

-Seems like Haruka's back in the saddle. ...how can Don Kaito do that, I wonder?

-Man... how is it that every episode of Donbrothers so far has been an absolute banger? How are we 10 for 10!? Inoue really hasn't lost his touch with Sentai, has he? And the directors really love what they're doing, because all these shots kick all kinds of ass.

-Anyway, join us next time where Tsubasa gets sick as a dog and we beat up a cop!

[persephone-rue]

So I don't actually know much about Pokémon, and have never played an official game, BUT I know that Pokedéx entries are fuckin wild, so I decided to read some of them. So now here's my personal SparkNotes of every Pokédex entry from Gen I ig--

Bulbasaur #001- Photosynthesis turtle

Ivysaur #002- Photosynthesis turtle, part two

Venusaur #003- Photosynthesis turtle, part three, this time with flower :D

Charmander #004- If that flame ever goes out it dies.

Chameleon #005- A big mean lizard that can definitely kill you

Charizard #006- A dragon. Those flames really should kill any Pokémon in its path…

Squirtle #007- Turtle x archerfish

Wartortle #008- Turtle with furry tail. Also will outlive you by about 9 millennia

Blastoise #09- Who in their right mind thought it was a good idea to tape a fire hose on a turtle?

Caterpie #010- Big ass caterpillar

Metapod #011- A useless iron cocoon

Butterfree #012- A poisonous butterfly that likes honey

Weedle #013- Poison caterpillar

Kakuna #014- A useless iron cocoon but poisonous 

Beedrill #015- Giant wasp with multiple stingers and is even more territorial

Pidgey #016- Birb.

Pidgeotto #017- Hawk.

Pidgeot #018- An osprey if it was also a jet

Rattata #019- Rat.

Raticate #020- Rat, but with iron teeth

Spearow #021- Birb. Again.

Fearow #022- Birb, but it likes to fly even more

Ekans #023- Snek

Arbok #024- Whose main powers include... being a snake???

Pikachu #025- It will electrocute you. And itself. And other Pikachus.

Raichu #026- Same as Pikachu, but will kill you, if it decides to not use the ground

Sandshrew #027- Armadillas keep diggin…

Sandslash #028- An armadillo porcupine that chose violence

Nidoran ♀ #029- Fatally toxic mouse

Nidorina #030- Docile toxic mouse with mild separation anxiety

Nidoqueen #031- Armor covered mama bear

Nidoran ♂ #032- The female one, but less docile and with bigger ears

Nidorino #033- Very dangerous toxic mouse. You will die

Nidoking #034- The definition of violence

Clefairy #035- A friendly little fairy buddy

Clefable #036- An even shier fairy buddy

Vulpix #037- A six tailed fox with pyrokinesis 

Ninetails #038- If you grab one of its tails it’ll curse you for the rest of its life. So a millennia

Jigglypuff #039- Sings a little lullaby :)

Wigglytuff #040- Really soft, and will inflate itself to beat you up better when angry

Zubat #041- A bat.

Golbat #042- A vampire bat that won’t stop drinking until you’re nearly dead

Oddish #043- A living nocturnal clump of weeds

Gloom #044- A walking corpse flower

Vileplume #045- A komodo dragon if it was a flower. My god is it scary

Paras #046- It’s got parasites on its back that steal most of its food. So it becomes a tree parasite

Parasect #047- Yeah that parasite’s taken over the poor Pokemon now :(

Venonat #048- Bug.

Venomoth #049- Poison moth

Diglett #050- A weird little mole that hates the sun and sometimes helps farmers

Dugtrio #051- Triplets that dig real deep underground. Yes they create earthquakes sometimes

Meowth #052- A cat that really likes shiny things. Give me back my change

Persian #053- A feral cat with a jewel forehead

Psyduck #054- A duck with psychic powers that give it migraines and memory loss

Golduck #055- A real good swimmer. Also it was almost hunted to extinction for one of its body parts

Mankey #056- A perpetually pissed primate

Primeape #057- A perpetually pissed primate 2, somehow angrier

Growlithe #058- A loyal dog that otherwise will bite strangers. And probably set them on fire.

Arcanine #059- Fast pretty boi

Poliwag #060- Tadpole. Also that swirl is just their organs

Poliwhirl #061- A frog that hypnotizes things with it’s skin

Poliwrath #062- Frog can now swim across an ocean

Abra #063- Just a sweepy guy that likes to teleport away from everyone always

Kadabra #064- Really strong psychic powers, that cause weird shit to happen, and the spoons help channel it ig. Also might be a kid????

Alakazam #065- REEEAAAAL smart, like brain is always growing smart. Also physically can’t move it’s own body without it’s powers, so if it ever lost those powers… uh oh (spoons still help btw)

Machop #066- Baby muscle builder

Machoke #067- It has infinite power, but don’t worry! This weird belt holds it back. Can still kill you with a finger. Be glad it's nice.

Machamp #068- Can now be as infinitely powerful twice as efficiently. Don’t ask it to do needlework

Bellsprout #069- Just a fly eating plant that can move at terrifying speeds

Weepinbell #070- A plant that poisons then eats anything that moves

Victreebell #071- Same as previous, but it definitely eats people

Tentacool #072- Jellyfish with magic eyes

Tentacruel #073- Man-of-war if it could emit ultrasonic waves

Geodude #074- It’s not a rock, but it gets mad of you step on it thinking it is

Graveler #075- Rolls down mountains to move, and like a boulder, will not care if you’re in the way. Also it’s favorite food is rocks

Golem #076- An indestructible boulder

Ponyta #077- A fire horsie that has indestructible hooves?

Rapidash #078- I AM SPEEEEEED

Slowpoke #079- It is constantly zonked out. I am surprised it wasn’t in the weed section of the Perfect Pokerap for that reason alone

Slowbro #080- The literal only difference from Slowpoke is that another Pokemon is eating its tail

Magnemite #081- A flying magnite

Magneton #082- Magnemine x3, now with the power to mildly fuck with everything around it

Farfetch’d #083- A duck that obsesses over a leek that it uses like a paper towel roll sword. Also what they’re holding changes names every other entry even though it is clearly either a leek or scallion. Oh and they’re endangered.

Doduo #084- Two headed roadrunner. The heads talk to each other :)

Dodrio #085- Mitosis spawned three headed roadrunner. It is now too smart

Seel #086- Seal. What did you expect.

Dewgong #087- Seal 2

Grimer #088- ACTUAL living sludge brought to life by the bullshitest of sciences

Muk #089- All of them should be put away in quarantine. How many ten year olds has this thing killed by being near them??

Shellder #090- Clam with a nigh indestructible shell

Cloyster #091- Clam that can fight back. Why does it look like a vagina..?

Gastly #092- It’s near invisible and just kinda suffocates you like that one scene from The Legend of Korra. It’s 95% gas and 5% victim soul too so have fun with that

Haunter #093- If fear of this thing in the dark doesn’t kill you first, it will actually lick the life force out of you

Gengar #094- A shadow that wants to kill you. Guess I’ll never go outside at night again

Onix #095- BIG OL’ SPEEDY ROCK SNAKE

Drowzee #096- STOP EATING MY DREAMS GOD DAMMIT

Hypno #097- STOP EATING MY DREAMS GOD DAMMIT, this time with a stolen kid

Krabby #098- Crab

Kingler #099- New method of execution just dropped. Two words: Hippo Claw.

Voltorb #100- A grenade.

Electrode #101- A large bomb.

Exeggcute #102- Eggs that travel in packs that are actually seeds?

Exeggutor #103- A yelling tree

Cubone #104- An orphan wearing the skull of its dead mom. It… it cries a lot…

Marowak #105- It’s overcome the death of its mom, and now uses the bones of it’s fallen brethren as a weapon

Hitmonlee #106- 100% is that kid that won’t stop kicking the back of your plane seat

Hitmonchan #107- Won the award for most likely to beat someone to death in less than 10 seconds

Likitung #108- It’s got a big tongue and licks things. And it’s saliva might be an irritant

Koffing #109- Mustard gas balloon

Weezing #110- Double mustard gas balloon

Rhyhorn #111- An indestructible rhino that can’t drift and is really stupid

Rhydon #112- The Nemean Rhino

Chansey #113- A very nice chicken that can make anyone happy and well fed. Stardew Valley chicken <3 <3

Tangela #114- A blue tumbleweed in Jordans

Kangaskhan #115- Kangaroo!! Also might’ve raised a human once so that’s pretty neat

Horsea #116- Seahorse, but also an octopus

Seadra #117- Seahorse, but also a lionfish

Goldeen #118- Just a really pretty fish. I want 7

Seaking #119- Another fish. Don’t touch their eggs. I’ll take another 7

Staryu #120- Starfish with an emphasis on star

Starmie #121- Uses the rainbow it makes from its body to talk to space. Probably an alien

Mr. Mime #122- A mime that looks for any excuse to smack you, especially with that invisible fish he was “holding” that’s now real

Scyther #123- A bug with scythe hands that moves way too fast and will probably kill you

Jynx #124- It uses dancing to talk because we don’t know what it’s saying

Electabuzz #125- The Energy Monster from Wordgirl

Magmar #126- Fire duck

Pinsir #127- A large insect with the hunting/killing strategy of a fucking crocodile

Tauros #128- A really violent bull with whip tails

Magikarp #129- A fucking useless fish that shouldn’t still be alive

Gyarados #130- A giant fucking sea monster that will kill us all. I’m sorry for calling you useless when you were a fish

Lapras #131- A very nice boat turtle that nearly went extinct

Ditto #132- A shapeshifter

Eevee #133- It’s genetic code is so fucking strange it can turn into 9 different things

Vaporeon #134- Hey guys, did you know- Mermaid cat that can melt into a puddle

Jolteon #135- A very sensitive bolt of lightning. It will kill you if startled

Flareon #136- A fire breathing puppy. You might wanna have a Vaporeon around if you get one…

Porygon #137- A piece of code in corporeal form

Omanyte #138- I guess we can just bring ammonites back now idk

Omastar #139- An ammonite with the Achilles heel of the irish elk

Kabuto #140- A trilobite too, why not

Kabutops #141- Scyther but underwater

Aerodactyl #142- Fuck it, pterosaurs, one of the scariest prehistoric creatures, they’re back now

Snorlax #143-  A giant sleeping teddy bear that can’t get sick. And is a nightmare to feed

Articuno #144- I’m pretty sure this bird’s just the god of winter

Zapdos #145- This is just Zeus minus the horny

Moltres #146- Again, this is a god. This bird is the god of fire and spring fuckin-

Dratini #147- A giant sea snake that people barely knew existed for awhile

Dragonair #148- Bigger sea snake that can kinda control the weather

Dragonite #149- Really kind water dragons that can fly too fast. I don’t know how we got here from Dragonair.

Mewtwo #150- A genetically fucked up stronger Mew, because humanity doesn’t understand the Greek concept of hubris

Mew #151- It’s rare, way too magical, and has the whole pure of heart thing goin on. So a unicorn.