#poor qui-gon

[disastertriowriting]

Obi-Wan: Hey, you wanna know a secret? Qui-Gon: No. Obi-Wan: Okay. Qui-Gon: Qui-Gon: Do you smell smoke? Obi-Wan: The secret is that the house is on fire.

[jedi-starbird]

APLAP (Assigned Pathetic Lifeform at Padawanship)

New padawan Obi-Wan trying to figure out how the FUCK to make his master listen and not abandon him to go running off following "the will of the force" when it hits him. Qui-Gon is perfectly happy stopping and taking care of pathetic life forms, but not Obi-Wan. That's it. He's always been prepared, always been dutiful, strong, self-sufficient.

He's cracked the code. He needs to be more pathetic.

The next time he senses Qui-Gon's about to run off he coordinates a scene of utmost pathetic-ness, that is, he throws himself into the nearest fountain. He trudges up to his master sopping wet, water-logged robes swallowing him, with hair sticking to his face and containing bits of algae from the fountain. He mumbles out an apology for being clumsy before looking up at Qui-Gon with the biggest, most woeful eyes possible to ask if he happened to bring any spare robes (he didn't, Obi-Wan knows this because he is usually the one to pack spare robes for them both). His wet hair is dripping water into his eyes that's beginning to turn them an irritated red, and there's algae sliding down the side of his face, it really is masterful work.

"Oh...I'm sure I'll be able to find something by myself, it's okay Master, I know you had important work to do."

Qui-Gon visibly hesitates. Obi-Wan starts shivering. He turns to walk away. He's stopped by his Master's hand on his shoulder. His Master, who walks back with him, who gets clean clothes from their hosts, who has folded like wet flimsi and even explains his stupid, stupid plan before choosing to hotwire a hoverbike with a passenger seat! Oh, Obi-Wan really has cracked the code!

Afterwards, Obi-Wan stages an increasingly pitiful accident for himself every time his patented 'Qui-Gon Jinn Bullshit' detector goes off. Eventually, his Master stops leaving him behind at all, even giving him funny looks when he turns around and Obi-Wan isn’t next to him. It never fails to make Obi-Wan grin and run to catch up. Sure, his reputation as a perfect padawan is in tatters, alongside his dignity, but it’s a small price to pay for a place at his Master’s side, for him to remember there’s a place for Obi-Wan there.

When the ray shields come up on Naboo, Qui-Gon doesn't charge ahead and leave his padawan behind, he hasn't for years. He waits for Obi-Wan because it feels wrong to do otherwise, his padawan belongs at his side.

Much, much later, when Obi-Wan is drinking to the end of the war with friends, Commander Cress will ask him how he kept General Jinn from running off for entire decade. Obi-Wan laughs, informs him, and resolutely ignores the scene Quinlan is making as the man cackles and pulls up a book to shove at them both, titled Classical Conditioning 101: A guide to subtle psychological manipulation.

[ceruleanvermillion]

Okay wait I desperately need a qui-gon lives AU where he's sent on a secret undercover mission to the midrim for a year and or two that his lineage knows but kept quiet about because confidentiality, and when he came back the Clone Wars was already ongoing. Imagine Obi-wan and Anakin delightedly going "Master Jinn!" when he returns, completely disregarding the utter confusion of the clones and because they have never ever seen this man man before.

[bibannana]

Qui-Gon *looking at a sign while stroking his beard*: It's a sign from the force.

Mace *blinks and re-reads the sign*: Uh no this sign is from a bar? About half off drinks??

Qui-Gon *inputting the co-ordinates of the bar*: A truely compelling sign.

Kit *turning the speeder around*: Has me convinced.

Plo *shrugs*: Completely convincing.

Taglist: @soliloquy-of-nemo @nekotaetae @staycalmandhugaclone @jiabae @sexy-rex

[not-my-final-account]

clone: I mean there's normal Jetti *points at Mace Window Windu and Barriss* and then there's the disaster lineage

*points at Ahsoka* the commanders exiled from the Jedi order *Ahsoka grins*

*points at Obi-Wan* hes on the verge of a mental breakdown

*points at Anakin who has tired eyes, tear streaks down his face, bags under his eyes, and force knows what else* hes past several mental breakdowns

*points at force ghost Qui-Gon* he’s dead (some clone in the distance: and maverick!)

*points at Dooku* he’s a literal sith

*points at Yoda* hes a thousand-year-old-green-gremlin

Yoda: HMMMM, a green-gremlin-thousand-year-old who is? He he he!

[beeftendergroin]

poor things au but uhm....the baxter's.

[charmwasjess]

...but now that I'm not on the main Glass Abyss tag, can I meanly whisper just to my cool friends (who I hope understand that I love Qui-Gon but also I love him in his true form: a PROBLEM) how I'm dismayed to see that the plot appears to once again revolve around Blameless Space Jesus Qui-Gon Jinn, the Only True Jedi Who Ever Helped Anyone, We All Have Much to Learn From Him?

Like UGHHH we just DID this with The Living Force

[sendpseuds]

How the disaster lineage learned that BREAD + LIGHTSABER = FIRE (not toast)

Yoda encouraged Dooku to find out for himself [Dooku burned his favorite cloak and never quite got over it]

Dooku told Qui-Gon it was a stupid question [Qui-Gon dared someone else to try it]

Qui-Gon lied and told Obi-Wan it would in fact make toast [he proceeded to laugh as Obi-Wan profusely apologized for the burn mark on the kitchen counter]

Obi-Wan told Anakin that it would, in fact, just catch on fire, and advised him not to try it [Anakin tried it anyways and did not apologize for the burn mark on the kitchen counter]

Ahsoka did not ask anyone [and she managed to clean up the burn mark before anyone noticed]

Inspired by a scene in Bound and Broken

[bolithesenate]

"grin" for the wip game!

and grin you shall recieve!

this bit is from the far future Mud Fic (as is evident by the presence of Qui-Gon in this). just pure disaster lineage vibes

[cunning-and-cool]

i've decided that Obi-Wan's birthday should be the day of Qui-Gon's funeral, mostly because i want him to suffer a little more

[yellow-faerie]

Immortality AU

There’s a woman standing at the edge of the cantina. She has a drink in her hand – something the colour of a Felucian flower – and is smiling, softly, as she taps her foot to the beat of the music. Her eyes are a pale blue – so pale that it is noticeable in the dingy lighting and from such a distance – with laugh lines creasing at their edges as she keeps her avid attention focused on the singer.

It would be difficult to tell how old she is, just from looking. She’s almost definitely human, so the wrinkles and her almost-white hair would put her on the older end of the spectrum, but there’s still the soft curve of early adulthood to her.

So late thirties, maybe early forties.

Her name is Meetra Surik and though she does not look it, she is nearly four thousand years old.

None of this does Qui-Gon Jinn tell Padmé, the young handmaiden who had insisted (on the Queen’s demand) to accompany him on this mission, for he had told her they were coming here to see if they could source an alternative form of transport if they couldn’t fix the ship.

And in a way, they were, but Qui-Gon was never sure how Surik and her less agreeable companion worked. There was every chance that they would make vague conversation until Qui-Gon admitted defeat and they had to work out another solution to their problem.

Damn immortals.

“Master Qui-Gon,” Surik greets as he gets close enough to hear her, although she doesn’t take her eyes from the singer, “aren’t you meant to be orbiting Naboo? Negotiations with the Trade Federation, wasn’t it?”

Qui-Gon can feel Padmé’s surprise in the Force, likely that he knew anyone on this Force forsaken rock. “Do you keep tabs on everyone, or is it just me?”

“Can you blame a woman for looking out for her lineage?”

“You know each other?” Padmé asks, intervening. Either it is her diplomatic skills coming out, breaking up a potential argument before it starts, or – and this was much more likely in Qui-Gon’s opinion – she was curious and couldn’t help herself.

“I trained his Master’s Jedi Master,” Surik says pleasantly and finally takes her eyes away from the performer. “Master Meetra Surik, at your service.”

“Padmé Naberrie.”

There’s a flash of amusement in her eyes. “I take it that you have got caught up in whatever went wrong with Master Jinn’s recent mission?”

“I’m the Queen of Naboo’s handmaiden. And it wasn’t Master Jinn’s fault, the Trade Federation didn’t even let the negotiations for our planet begin before they tried to kill him and Padawan Kenobi, and invade our planet.”

Surik’s smile falls into something more serious. “A planetary invasion? That’s a bold move.”

“It is,” Qui-Gon agrees quickly, not feeling quite comfortable to discuss the issue so publicly. “The escape was not kind on our ship, we need a way off planet so that the Queen may speak in the senate.”

At that, Surik’s smile returns in all it’s slightly lopsided glory. “Luckily for you, we have a ship.”

“And what about ours?” Padmé asks. “The one we came in?”

Meetra shrugs. “Do what you want with it: sell it, leave it for scrap, find a way to repair it. Just comm us when you’re ready, we’ll do a pick up.”

The singer has stopped now, to muted applause from the otherwise self-absorbed clientele of the cantina, and stepped down from the stage to get her money from the bartender.

“Then we shall meet you then,” Qui-Gon says quickly and Meetra’s smile grows.

“Are you sure I cannot tempt you to a drink?”

Qui-Gon looks at the singer, returning a few credits for a drink an even brighter colour than Meetra’s, and thinks that now is not a time to talk to Revan.

In fact, it is never a time to talk to Revan, but especially not when Obi-Wan is not there to be a buffer.

“Another time, perhaps,” he says smoothly, putting a hand on Padmé’s back to gently guide her out of the cantina, “we have a ship to sell.”

[jedi-starbird]

qui gon and obi wans padawan-master relationship is like if someone painstakingly explained all the steps to introduce 2 foreign cats to each other and then did absolutely none of that and threw them together in carboad box and taped it shut.

[nerdyerror]

Hate it when people are like: qui gon was a wise sage

Like people he was legitimately dumb as shit, my mans decided that it was a good idea to fight an enemy he and obi wan were already struggling with ON HIS OWN. Like he knew Obi-Wan had some of the most accurate visions in the order and was like, “nah fam live in the moment”

Like he gambled for a slave boy instead of just using his lightsaber

[katadastical]

Can someone please explain the no attachments thing because there’s that interview with George Lucas where he said the Jedi are encouraged to love but they aren’t allowed to possess because that leads to all those negative emotions and that leads to the dark side. Like yes love the people around you but don’t try and control them or own them because it’ll lead you down a dark path I think that’s pretty healthy.

So why is the Jedi council so possessive, they try to control and dictate EVERYTHING that goes on, they instil this idea that forming any attachment is wrong that any emotion that could possibly be associated with the dark side is wrong.

They take issue with everything and anything romantic but for the most part platonic or paternal relationships go completely unnoticed despite those having the most potential for “attachment”. They talk of controlling emotions and being mindful which in itself is a good message but really ends up being a contest between them of who can bottle up and suppress themselves the best only giving up when they die or turn.

Not to mention how the emotionally repressed pyjama wearing lazar sword wielding knights running around braiding each others hair are the ones tasked with keeping peace across the Galaxy.

It’s very hypocritical, the more I think about it the more it breaks my brain and solidifies a lot of criticism toward the council, how are they supposed to empathise and connect with the people they’re trying to protect if they spend so much time shutting themselves off from any feeling?

I think that’s part of the reason Obi-wan became such a broken mess, my guy went through so much trauma and was left with no coping skills other than to suppress everything because he never had a chance to be trained properly and only had the Jedi councils guidance.

Idk that’s just my little rambling thoughts inspired by my favourite Jedi hippy Qui-Gon, if you have anything to add I’d love to hear! Have a great day

[starsspin]

im aware i probably write a softer version of qui gon. but i use the films as my base and pick and choose other bits of canon i vibe with. and yeah qui gon is kinda an asshole (affectionate) but i've seen whole essays about how he's some abusive asshole and based on the character we see in tpm that doesn't make sense to me

[tales-of-ryloth]

"Promise to train the boy, he is the chosen one"

Seriously, what last words. My heart cries out to poor Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon could at least have said "I am proud of you" or something. He just craved his approval and wanted to feel worth. 😫

Bad Qui-Gon!