#poor women in kh

[nicolesainz]

Mine to hold (KH 29)

Kai Havertz x f!reader

Warnings: angst, swearing, and fluff as always, very mid german translation (haven’t perfected the language, still trying)

Summary: Kai will abandon everything, get mad at everyone, try to protect you, if only someone dared to hurt you the slightest

“Oh what an unfortunate miss for the Germans, as the match ends 3-2 against Spain. This definitely won’t put a smile on their captain’s face.”

“But we have to admit, Germany have given it all this year and they have a shot at finishing third in the Euro’s. I believe they can do it.”

Seeing the boys, going back to the changing rooms, with their heads facing the ground, made my heart ache. All the female squad had come to cheer for the boys.

They all played wonderfully, that’s no secret. If it wasn’t for Kepa to save a great shot of Timo’s, we would have gone to penalties and then the chances would’ve been higher for a win in favour of us.

When I saw Kai kneeling on the pitch, with his hands on his face, I wanted to jump the fence and run to hug him and comfort him. It was his first time being the captain of the team and all he wanted was to succeed.

And he did so. Germany managed to get a shot at a podium position, which hasn’t happened in a very long time. Germany’s bad luck always starts at the round of 16, at every single league.

As the stadium slowly becomes quieter, I try and find Kai, who is sitting alone, with puffy red shot eyes and his heart on his mouth. I despised seeing him like this. It was really unfair.

“Das war deine erste Zeit, dass du Mannschaftskapitän geworden bist. Du hast ein Ziel erreicht, das Ihre Erwartungen übertroffen hat. Ich bin mehr als stolz auf dich.”

(This was your first time that you became the captain of the team. You achieved a goal that was behind expectations. I am more than proud of you.)

Poor Kai raised his head to look at me and gave me a very faint but sad smile. He wanted to stay strong, although it was completely understandable to let out all his feelings. He gave it everything and this was a small achievement. Reaching final four.

“We were doing so well and then one bad day can take you out of being even the runner up. Fucking shit!” He threw on the ground his armband with the “Captain” sign on it.

I picked it up and handed it back to him. Throwing it off meant giving up. And he definitely shouldn’t!

“Go ask Christian! He has been the captain of the USA for a long time. Has he ever given up? No. Has he had successes? Yes. Well, you can too. Nothing stops you. We learn from our mistakes meine liebe” I say caressing his cheek softly, wanting to calm him down and ease the pain.

“The only thing that comforts me is that at least the women’s team made it to the finals. If I can’t be proud of myself, I glad I am of you. And I always will” Kai leaned in and kissed me sweetly, as an indication of how happy he is that my team has made such progression.

Being wrapped in his arms is always the best gift he can give me. I love this man unconditionally and I can never imagine myself with someone else, besides him.

“The way you are proud of me, I am of you too! I believe in you more than anyone else. I have faith. And I know and promise you that soon, the team will reach the top, with you leading them”

“I’m so glad I have you in my life, Y/N. I would have been in the shambles right now if it wasn’t for you. Ich liebe dich“

That night, i forbade myself to leave Kai’s embrace. I wanted to stay in his arms forever. I felt safe and the happiest.

That night, we kissed and made love to each other like never before. I wanted Kai to feel free and ease. He had been under so much pressure that I felt he would blow up.

„Guten Morgen mein Ein und Alles. Wie geht es dir?“ (Good morning my everything. How are you”) Kai woke up groggily but wanted me to wake up covered in his kisses and hugs. Oh how I love this man!

„Guten Morgen Liebling. Ich bin gut aber für nicht zu lange“ (Good morning darling! I am good although not for long). I replied with a laugh escaping my lips as I saw myself and most importantly my neck in the bathroom.

“What? Why? Are you hurt?” He rushes over me only to be met with a massive hickey against my neck.

“I think it’s pretty obvious that the mosquito last night, was very hungry. But I’m glad. As long as he’s happy, I am. And I want him to know I’m proud”

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me Y/N. You’re my best gift and everything I could have asked for” my boyfriend grabbed me by the waist and held me into a tight hug. Today it was the day of the final. We’d either win it or lose it all.

As we entered the stadium, anxiousness rushed over mg body. I had a constant feeling of wanting to throw up. This felt too much. I know understand what Kai was feeling all this team. Oh boy. It’s even worse than a rollercoaster.

Our main captain had been injured in the previous game so she out. Head coach was looking around for someone to wear the very valuable arm band. It meant everything to the person wearing it!

When I heard my name being picked up, I gulped hardly, shoving my worries and fears down my throat, I could feel better. Which I didn’t if we are being honest.

As the armband was around my bicep, I looked up to be met with an equally stressed but also proud boyfriend of mine.

“You can do this” he mouthed at me, as my parents were next to him, waving at me and giving me thumbs up for positivity to radiate.

I gathered all the girls around me. We are a strong team, we can win. We will make our country proud. We’ve gone so far and can’t give up now, i said wanting to show them how powerful players they all are.

As we broke apart, my gaze instantly fell to one of the girls playing for the French team. My heart skipped a beat as I saw that it was none other than Kai’s ex. I had forgotten she was a player of PSG and a member of the French Women’s Team.

Kai hadn’t noticed her and neither had she. But once her eyes fell on me, her smile dropped and instantly all her attention was drawn to my boyfriend.

“Verdammter Scheiß!” (Bloody hell!), I whispered underneath my breath as a massive grin was quickly shaped on her face. My blood got cold all of a sudden.

In a few seconds the whistle had blown and the final had started. I don’t easily get distracted but ever since I noticed her, I feel like she’s targeting me with her eyes, wanting to shoot me dead.

Before the first half ended, the score was 2-2 and things seemed to be going alright. I’d be tragic to have to use the penalties as a decisive way of ending this match, so we had to play much better.

As I was trying to catch my breath, I felt her eyes piercing me, swearing at me in any possible way, not only because I was an obstacle to her win but also a supposed “boyfriend thief”

At some point I saw my phone clinging and took a quick glance at it, it was Kai

“You are my champion. Please don’t look at her. We all know your worth. Go win this!”

A smile was plastered on my face as I looked up and saw Kai playfully winking at me. My heart instantly fluttered but before I could react, the referee blew the whistle for the second half to start.

We were running out of time and anxiousness was running through my veins. We needed one fucking goal and I had to make sure we got that.

When the ball was passed between my feet, I am as fast as I possible could, since the defenders of France didn’t notice I was close to their box.

When my right foot kicked the ball, I felt the spikes of a person’s shoes on the inside of my thigh. I instantly fell down and was only looking up. My biggest worry was if the ball had escaped the goalkeepers arms. I couldn’t hear anything. There was silence.

My eyes were closed and the only thing audible was the silence that had corrupted on the pitch.

“Süße, are you alright? Oh shit. Can she hear me? What the fuck did you do?” Kai’s words were fading in my ears but the yelling was apparent.

“Kai” I faintly said, opening up my arms.

“Baby how are you feeling? Please don’t rush. Slow down. How are you feeling?” He placed me in his arms and carried me all the way to the bench, with the entire world watching.

“Did I score? Did we win?” At that moment I acted so selfless and wanted nothing but this win for my country.

“Yes meine liebe, you scored. I am so proud of you. It was an amazing goal but with an unfortunate incident. I got so scared when I saw you falling down and hitting your head that I ran on the pitch like a maniac” a few tears escaped his eyes but he wiped them quickly enough for me to not notice.

“I love you so much Kai. I dedicate this win to you. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. You motivate me every day and this wouldn’t have been possible if I didn’t have you by my side”

“You, you are the reason I still keep my head up even when we are losing. You are the reason I score every goal. You are the reason I still play. I love you too, Y/N!”

[tonberry-yoda]

Dont you find it funny that in the anime world(or any fandom world) the characters we find really attractive in their world don’t get any kind of the same attention we would love to shower them with? Like Sanji for example, if he was in our world he’d have a lot and I mean A LOT of people fawning over him but in his world HES the one to chase the girls (srry if this is confusing)

What other characters do u think have the same situation?(basically EVERY SINGLE character u Can think of has this situation tho)

NO LITERALLY OMFG LIKE I TOTALLY GET IT! I've actually thought about this a lot where there's a character who's like self conscious in an anime and you're like.... bruh if you were real you would have lady after lady on top of you

And let me think....

Sanji is such a good example tbh like the perfect one for this situation, but lemme see if I can think for more

OH A P E R F E C T ONE!

Leon Scott Kennedy from Resident Evil

Bro complains that he can't get any ladies when in irl, he would be dead with all the women running him over poor guy lolol

I'm just gonna give a mini list down here too:

Julian from The Arcana ASRA from The Arcana Literally any final fantasy protag ANY MEMBER OF ORG13 from KH Peter Parker probably G O J O (poor guy would get killed by the woman who love him) from JJK

Yeah, it's not a long list, but I feel this with a lot of characters

also for me personally, Franky

he would not survive me tee hee

no fr tho he is so fine

[embraceyourdestiny]

So sad ven technically killed streli because they’d literally be besties otherwise

[whyarewecalledtheshipname]

isnt it kinda crazy how the current kh plot is basically “unreal becoming real”?

we had the sleeping realm/unchained state, where a dream/sleeping timeline of events is created to avert disaster, and then connecting that “victorious” dream timeline to actual reality—making a “dream”, real

now we have a solid concept of an unreal world, and crossing over /to/ that unreal world, to accomplish some kind of goal in the real world.

like, basically it’s like the plot is just: “Things That Couldn’t Normally Happen, Happening”

and like, why. for what reason, would the game be setting up this concept. yeah on one side, we have the obvious thing of how kh is finally exploring that early concept of real and unreal worlds, fiction vs non. (“is this world real, or not?”)

yEs, but it also seems, to me at least, like it doesn’t stop at all that fourth wall, meta bs. it’s not just about fictional worlds. this idea of fictional worlds is being “introduced” to set up something more. it’s not just about blurring the line between fiction and reality. like i said, there seems to be this pattern? of using the unreal as a means to accomplish or manifest something that /is/ real.

Dreams coming True.

and i dont think we would be getting bombarded with all this dream/wish stuff purely for the sake of giving a form to the concepts of reality and fiction. “don’t assume your dreams are just a fantasy.” ????? hello?? wtf is this? basically, im just trying to ramble about how this feels like it’s building up to something more than just “sora and co learn that they’re cartoons!” like bruh

its fucking soriku.

but anyway i don’t know how to word what im thinking. this just popped into my head again bc of barbie and sesame street lmao

[incorrectkazehikaruquotes]

Akesato: It seems like you like Okita-san because he doesn’t like you.

Sei: Have you met the men who do like me, Akesato-san? Trust me, they’re bad people.

[nyctospoilers]

KHDR Reactions

Episode 7: Reason for Disappearance

WHY would you take him through the CORRIDORS of DARKNESS, XEHANORT??? He’s not even fucking reacting to the “pushes” of darkness because his heart just got shattered, that poor boy.

okay 65 years later…

^ THE BLUE ROBE GUY

“My mentor taught me the one inscribed in the book, chosen to be a dark vessel, can connect their heart to others and feel what the feel” okay 1. “Omg he’s such an empath” but seriously 2. I wonder if this connects to what Darkness said about Ventus, and how through him all of them can like… regain themselves?? I think it said. Either their wills or their forms, I can’t remember. But interesting…

“I must embrace these emotions. Let them flow into my heart” oh lmao I thought Xehanort was referring to Ventus, is he talking about himself?? Or a combination of the two because in the BBS reports, Xehanort wanted Ventus to be his vessel at first, but decided he was too weak so he changed his mind to Terra.

^ OH MY GOODDDDDDDD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. SHUT UPPPPPPPP. I’M SO GLAD I WAS WRONG ABOUT THIS BINGOOO LMAO. THIS GAME FUCKING DELIVEREDDDDD. I thought it would cut away before they came on screen tbh LOL. Oh well it kinda did but still LOL

Eraqus “Better late than never” that says so much LOL

“Water under the bridge” Xehanort 🥺 Eraqus is so fucking gay 4 U

Xehanort “I took him under my wing this past year” okay noted 

“He might be the one” “Are you sure?” 👀 yes computer enhance

^ okay this is fucking funny

Reason for Disappearance

Okay, I’ll just say it. I can’t tell if Eraqus and Vor are just friends (because I fucking love platonic relationships between men and women), or if this is a developer’s decision to make us acknowledge that no, Eraqus and Xehanort are not gay lmao. Shipping mindset and “okay what’s really going on at this Disney ruled IP team” are two different mindsets for me. That being said, I really do like the friendship between Eraqus and Vor LOL

“How do we defeat something like that?” okay that lingering into a scene transition is so sexy

Odin calling the vessels for darkness “A necessary sacrifice” oh boy here we go

Okay so I feeeeel like everything Odin said here, we already knew. 7 hearts of light. summoning KH and using it’s power affects the entire world– so is it worth using KH if just to save the few “vessels of darkness” who are sacrifices?

“The dark seeker will finally be upon us” yeeess yesssssss

Aww Hermod!

ERAQUS JOGGING IN PLACE LOL

THE UNDERWORLLDDDD (((also damn… does that mean the other classmates really did die…)))

^ THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNYYYYYYY. I swear to god if I un-blacklist this game, and nobody else thinks this game is funny, I will be so mad LOL

Awwww Hoder…. :(

Not MALEFICENT!!!!

God Hoder’s dress is so pretty

^ AARON PAUL SCREME MEME

Daaaaaaamn dudeeeee fuckkkkkkk

HE WAS IN THE INFIRMARY THIS WHOLE TIME????

God am I going to get Phil talking to Xehanort…..

^ Dumbass shdkdhkdjd

Bragi “if I choose Eraqus, you’ll tag along, right Xehanort?” HA!

THE WAY XEHANORT MOVED AWAY FROM ERAQUS LMAAOOO

Jesus christ they are fucking DIGGING at eraqus asdlkfjasdf

Yesss I looove the underworld music, its one of my favorite world themes LOL

Hades “Disappeared? Oh right, Mortals. Always have to sugarcoat everything. Personally, I prefer ‘dead.’” STOP LMAAAOOOO

Ugh cerberus is going to be so hard I know it… I’m going to use so many revives… JUST KIDDING I only needed 1 lmao

The hand grab 💞⭐🤸💫 You fucking know xehanort was doing some Mr. Darcy-hand-stretch after that

^ Damn the upper classmates really did die… NOOOOO NOT THE SIDE PONYTAIL GIRRRLLLL 😭😭😭

“We discovered an evil fairy that put a curse on a princess” so when the FUCK. do these disney worlds take place!!!!! Cause Aurora was during BbS!!! Wtf!!!!

^SHUT THE FUCK UP THEY SET UP CAMP AND ARE ASLEEP. SHUT UPPPP

u tellin’ me a 14 year old noob defeated maleficent when 4 trained students could not…

OOOHHHH So the Underworld IS connected to the final world. Okay, I’m glad that’s cleared up for me now.

Damn c’mon, philosophy!

Hades “pfft like I can tell who’s who” LMAO

NOOO HERMOD AND URDDD

Wtf is this light… OH ITS ODIN. that is so gandalf of him to glow like that LOL. c'mon, light of earendil!

“So only you remain…” damn… so did.. Baldr and Bragi die off screen???

65 years later

^HEY BITCH!!!!

Xehanort “I did this for him, not you.” oh dayumn

^ Why does vanitas stand like 🧍‍♂️

Godddd I am DYING to know why Ventus has a heart of pure light (like PURE pure light) if he isnt a Princess of Heart!!!

He DOES remember ventus. Then Xehanort WTF!!! Why did you like.. Practically torture him asdlfkjsdf

[patchun]

1, 11, 17, and 30?

I think to understand my sense of humor it would help to watch several videos from the YouTube channel "Barats and Bereta" as well as a few SBaHJ comics, as those two things heavily influenced my development, and got me to my "what if this absurd bit happened. That would be funny I think" humor I have today.

Of course I'd say to both read and watch Twelve Kingdoms for its focus on empowering women and its interesting philosophical themes relating to power, oppression, and social responsibility. I am, not a woman. But wow have I had a journey from fundamentalist mysoginistic Christian to... me now, in my life, and my wife was a huge part of that and has really helped me see the importance of all this in media.

Also might help to watch various documentaries about Alabama and Christian indoctrination. Or maybe just God's Not Dead! Those two key parts of almost my entire life don't define me, but do define where I came from and exactly what I'm not anymore. They're things that I'm passionate about that may not make complete sense to someone who wasn't brought up in the same environment. I've been through the ringer with almost every social issue, I disagree with the vast majority of people I interact with on any given day on any given subject. It can feel isolating.

Finally, Touhou lore, for how interesting its concept of religion is, AND. The garbage fanservice anime, "Sora no Otoshimono", aka my comfort show. I went through a really lonely rough time in middle school and early high school where my parents moved me to a Christian school, lost all my old friends and acted like an idiot to ruin my friendship with my new ones. In that time anime was all I had and I very nearly became one of those incel types. I thought girls worked like they did in anime, was constantly hoping I might trip into a skirt. If you've read my light novel, "Reincarnated as a Cactus in an RPG World's Desert Kingdom", you perhaps can understand my psyche at the time. I've experienced that shit. But the thing is, as a result of that time of my life, the poor treatment of women in anime and I became somewhat intertwined. Now I find it difficult to continue to pursue my hobbies while also considering the fact that some of the content within them is legitimately harmful.

Well that was a long answer! So let's see, I wake up and my son Udon is in my arms. Stay in bed for a bit, then get up, have some green tea, rice and miso soup, then play a video game for a bit. Make lunch, more game, then maybe hit up a bar with my buddies from Florida and have an Acai sour. Then go home get drunk and drunkenly watch some garbage to make fun of it.

Yeah, perhaps more of an accurate representation than real world me at times

Gotta be this one.

But seriously, this is tough for me, I don't read much... kid patchun adored the following quotes though

"The closer you get to the light, the greater your shadow becomes" -KH

"Courage is the magic that turns dreams into reality" -Tales of Symphonia: DotNW

My favorite modern quote is probably this, from Jeremy Bentham:

"The question is not, Can they reason? nor, Can they talk? but Can they suffer?"

[mejomonster]

I was playing yakuza kiwami 2 today and kiryu voice acted in a bl game as the protagonist like aoba

1 I know the games are hot mess far from perfect but in a way I very much like the game acknowledging BL as another real video game genre with an industry and work put behind it

2 I hear the lead woman in kiwami 2 gets her characterization butchered (aka she's been written fine so far but eventually is written ooc for some dumb or Kiryu plot driving reasons), which I'm not looking forward to because I can tolerate a level of less writing of women but really dislike it when writers can write men but just canr even consistently write their women (see nomura and kairi especially in kingdom hearts 3 unfortunately :c and versus him see Yoko Taro who usually does a very consistent job with writing women and as a result I love his heroines). Characterization matters a lot to me and butchering it because you can't write All your characters as full people really. Is irritating.

Anyway so... as of chapter 11 I feel she's been written fairly consistently (she does the kind of date with kiryu but considering she feels betrayed by her boss keeling secrets and is drunk and blowing off steam it feels fairly in character for most ppl in this series as a set of scenes, and still is kicking ass as usual generally up to the reveal her dad was the mafia leader). I am one part dreading when her characterization gets ruined since there's only 2 chapters left and it's gonna feel real sucky if it's ooc at random at the end, and another part hoping somehow kiwami 2 rewrote her and lessened the ooc bits to some degree (but I'm not getting my hopes up).

The thing too is like. I heard Makoto is an example of poor writing of women, but generally for her game (this was a blind playthrough before I heard anything about writing problems) I felt she was mostly consistent, had a good fleshed out character and motives (parallel to majima but as a civilian which worked excellent for her plot in relation to majima and in contrast to tachibana/kiryus parallels), went up against dojima in the end herself, and the weakest part for me was how they handled the blindness healing but :/ that is unfortunately a super commonly done trope in media so I wasn't surprised. While she had some damsel moments she overall did a Lot more than say kairi in kh gets to usually do (which is like... my lowest point of tolerance for this weak writing If the character is consistent which kairi was in kh and kh2 but not kh3 - i think nomuras issue with writing women lies in as soon as he puts them jn love interest category they become props instead of people with characterization you need to keep consistent and develop as fully realized people). Makoto was more fleshed out then women I was used to in grand theft auto, which was the game I figured was most comparable to yakuza and about the level of writing women characters I expected. So I loved makoto. I didn't notice any brutally weak spots in her writing, though there were some Weaker moments where I'm sure it was convenient to make her a damsel in distress (but being the civilian made those not particularly ooc and her desire to protect majima and keep him out of her business was very similar/parallel to him and worked well).

Then there was Yumi. So like. She had a great setup, flesh out, did stuff in the plot, her actions were logical given what she went through. She was badass for faking her death and protecting her kid and stealing 10 billion and threatening corrupt politician and having the yakuza by the balls. She was amazing. Unfortunately? She was off screen for nearly all of this. Which i think weakened this depiction to a degree. Then the cherry on top that was probably her weakest writing? Having her die Primarily so she can confess she loved kiryu, he loved her, and fuel his emotional pain so he'll have a motive to want to Give Up at the end of the game. Her dying I didn't even find particular issue with itself... she dies because Haruka is a kid who is brave and naive and tries to protect kiryu, so being a smarter adult her mom yumi protects HER and takes the bullet that was going to harm her child and the childhood friend (and man she loves) kiryu. Kiryu even if she didn't love him, was like close family to her (similarly so was Nishiki). So it made sense motive wise for her to talk to these men, have a confrontation with these men at the end, to trust haruka would be taken care of if she died, to get emotional when she argues with nishiki. These are some of the closest people to her. In fact ALL the closest people to her still alive by then in the plot (adopted dad kazama dead, rina like her best friend also dead). So I could accept how the confrontation went as in character, and how she chose to die as in character. I could also see how while she Could have survived, the plot wanted Kiryu adopting haruka (to parallel kazama adopting him) so it was very likely yumi was going to die.

What felt weak about the writing, and poorly handled for yumi, was how her final words boiled down to loving kiryu. She had SO much going on - she was taking down a powerful man and that would still have been her primary motivator, haruka is HER main priority of living people she loves and she took the bullet FOR haruka so her last moments more for haruka or both haruka and kiryu could have maybe been done a bit better and less romance focused. But maybe the worst bit, and there's probably other ways to fix it besides my suggestion? Kiryu confesses he loves her there. And that's the plot drive to get kiryu hopeless (when nishiki dead wasn't Quite the breaking point enough apparently). I would have GREATLY appreciated either earlier explicit mentions of kiryu loving her (because his opening romance scene with him nishiki yumi and rina implies kiryu is simply oblivious and does not indicate a crush or not, certainly not Intense Love for sure - nishikis part in that scene in contrast is deliberate and aware he wants to treat yumi special, rinas part also is deliberate in showing she very much wants nishiki to treat Her special, so their romances later follow logically). But kiryus opening in that scene doesnt strongly imply he feels romantic love for yumi. Just closeness similar to his feelings to nishiki and rina. The writers could have made it clearer kiryu loved yumi, or had him mention it later post prison to say Date, to Rina, to Haruka. But they don't. So when kiryu says he loves her back in the death scene, it feels more like the Entire romance angle was shoved in (hurting both characters consistency) just to try and make the death hit harder. Alternatively, simply not going so hard on mentioning mutual romantic love in the death scene and leaving it ambiguous - either ambiguous how kiryu ever felt (as in opening scene) and/or yumi discussing it with him as more of a general she loved him, rina, nishiki, kazama, and haruka (or some combo). The death alone of a Childhood friend as close as a sister, and nishiki as close as a brother, is enough to explain kiryus emotional hopelessness in the final scenes. So they didn't need to jam romantic confessions into her death scene with no prior solid lead up, making both characters seem weaker for it.

[aion-rsa]

13 Best Blumhouse Horror Movies Ranked

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Has any single person had a greater impact on horror this century than Jason Blum? The one-time Miramax executive struck out on his own in the 2000s when he founded Blumhouse Productions, a company where he remains the CEO. And in the ensuing years, Blum’s production label would define, and redefine again, the trends of horror movies and thrillers.

Operating on the philosophy that a horror film with a micro-budget will almost always turn a profit, Blum frequently allows directors broad freedom to make what they want within the genre, and in the process has kept multiplexes perpetually spooky. In 2009 Blumhouse helped reinvent the found footage horror aesthetic, and in the 2010s, the modern phenomenon of talent-focused horror gems began with Blumhouse’s gambles.

Working with filmmakers like James Wan, Scott Derrickson, Ethan Hawke, and Jordan Peele, Blumhouse Productions’ title card is now a promise of something different, if still eminently commercial and entertaining. It even paved the way for the controversial modern discourse around “elevated” horror, with Peele’s Get Out being the first chiller to win an Oscar for screenwriting since The Silence of the Lambs.

So with a new Blumhouse horror movie in theaters this Friday the 13th, we thought it a good time to count down the 13 best Blumhouse efforts that paid off with a bloody good time.

13. Hush

At the bottom of our top 13 is this taut thriller from Mike Flanagan, director The Haunting of series and Doctor Sleep fame. Flanagan and his co-writer and star (and also wife), Kate Siegel, wanted to make a horror movie with little to no dialogue. So they came up with this concept of a deaf-mute woman (Siegel) in a remote house, who is stalked by a killer with a crossbow. Hush is at its peak in the first 20 minutes as the masked man (10 Cloverfield Lane’s John Gallagher Jr.) realizes his quarry can’t actually hear him and begins to play games.

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The pair’s relationship with sound makes an interesting dynamic in this tense home invasion movie, though the cat and mouse chase does grow somewhat repetitive and generic as the film progresses. Still, a fine performance from Siegel and an indication of what Flanagan could do on a small budget make this very much worth checking out. – Rosie Fletcher

12. Happy Death Day

The Groundhog Day formula where an odious person is doomed to relive the same day countless times has proven remarkably flexible. And Happy Death Day is no exception with its horror-comedy blend of Punxsutawney hijinks and ‘80s slasher movie clichés. Starring a ridiculously game Jessica Rothe as Tree, the sorority girl who is constantly waking up with the hangover from hell, Happy Death Day follows the typical “Queen Bee” slasher archetype, and forces her to relive the same horror movie again and again. Until she can figure out who her masked killer is, and maybe how to be a better person, she’s condemned to die in increasingly preposterous ways. Worse still, she must also wake up in a dormitory afterward.

It’s derivative in a million different ways, but delightful in many more thanks to a cheeky atmosphere from director Christopher Landon and a very savvy, self-aware script by Scott Lobdell. Most of all though, it benefits from Rothe’s comedic talents on full display, as she backflips between initial verbal bitchiness and constant physical comedy. She even manages to find a little pathos, one stab wound at a time. – David Crow

11. The Visit

The Sixth Sense may remain M. Night Shyamalan’s masterpiece, but it was an oft-referenced moment from a different film that became key to Blumhouse pulling him back from the brink of irrelevance.

Having made four objectively terrible movies in a row, including the notoriously bad wind-smeller The Happening, Shyamalan seemingly decided to use what he’d learned from a very effective part of 2002’s Signs, where Joaquin Phoenix reacts to a tense home movie of an alien sighting, and took the next logical step: What if the director put together 90 minutes of unsettling home movie moments just like that?

Your mileage may vary with the handheld, mockumentary style of The Visit, but it’s hard to argue that this brisk, low-budget tale of two young siblings staying with some very, very odd grandparents they’ve never met before could play out more wildly than it does here. And Shyamalan certainly doesn’t pull many punches when it comes to putting those poor kids in peril during the film’s climax. – Kirsten Howard

10. Creep

No, not the one set on the subway, this Creep, directed by Patrick Brice, written by Brice and Mark Duplass, and also starring them both in a tense two-hander, is an altogether more unsettling affair. Brice plays Aaron, a videographer who answers an ad posted by Josef (Duplass), the latter saying he’s dying and wants a video diary made to leave to his son. But Josef’s behavior is weird – exactly how weird is too weird is the challenge faced by Aaron.

At just 77 mins long, this is a compact, unusual, often funny movie which picks at male relationships in the modern day, and how far kindness and politeness can override instinct. Duplass and Brice are incredibly natural in a film that’s extremely unusual, steeped in unease but not really like a traditional horror, with laughter and tension relief keeping you on your toes throughout. There’s a sequel which is good too, though if you can watch the first without spoilers it delivers a particular kind of dread that’s hard to replicate. – RF

9. Upgrade

A couple of decades ago, there were plenty of films around like Upgrade. You didn’t even have to move for fun sci-fi action movies, really! But the glory days of never having to wait for the next Equilibrium, Gattaca, Cypher, or even Jet Li’s The One are long behind us. It’s pretty tough to get a slick little concept movie made when you’re expected to compete with huge action tentpoles at the box office—unless you’re Leigh Whannell, one of Blumhouse’s integral puzzle pieces.

Whannell paid his dues at the production house for 15 years as both a writer and helmer before unleashing his sophomore directorial effort, Upgrade. The film, which follows ludicrously named technophobe Grey Trace after he loses his beloved wife in a violent mugging, sees a paralyzed hero get implanted with a chatty chip that allows him to regain the use of his whole body. Soon Trace become virtually superhuman—imagine an internal K.I.T.T.—but all is not as it seems.

It shouldn’t be as delightful as it is. Admittedly, the whole thing isn’t too far removed from an elevated episode of The Outer Limits. But if you miss old school sci-fi nonsense and feel nostalgic for a time when smart sci-fi projects didn’t end up as eight drawn out episodes on a major streaming service instead, Upgrade really scratches an itch.

Of course now might be a bad time to mention that an Upgrade TV series is in the works… – KH

8. Halloween

In resurrecting one of horror’s most enduring—yet stubbornly uneven—franchises, director David Gordon Green (working with screenwriters Danny McBride and Jeff Fradley) made the smartest move he could: He stripped away the ridiculously convoluted and nonsensical mythology the franchise had built up over decades. Instead he simply made a direct sequel to Carpenter’s 1978 masterpiece.

Read more

Movies

Best Modern Horror Movies

By Don Kaye

Movies

Halloween: A Legacy Unmasked

By David Crow

The result was easily the best Halloween movie since the original itself, bringing the characters and the story into the present while reverting Michael Myers back to the enigmatic, unstoppable, unknowable force that was so terrifying in the first film. Jamie Lee Curtis, Judy Greer, and Andi Matichak as three generations of Strode women bring healthy feminine empowerment to the proceedings while the intense violence and uneasy psychological underpinnings give this Halloween a resonance that has been lacking for so long. – Don Kaye

7. Split

As the movie that suggested M. Night Shyamalan’s renaissance was real, Split is still a surprising box office win for the eclectic filmmaker. With a grizzly premise about a man suffering from Dissociative Identity Disorder (formerly known as split personality) kidnapping teen girls to hold in a zoo, this could be the stuff of ‘70s grindhouse sleaze. While there is a touch of that to Split, more critically the movie acts as a buoyant showcase for James McAvoy at his most unbound.

Playing a character with 24 different personalities, a shaved and beefy McAvoy is visibly giddy bouncing between multiple alters that include a deceptively sweet little boy, an OCD fashion designer, and a bestial final form. The commitment he shows to each also becomes its own special effect, causing you to swear his physical shape is changing with his expressions.

Similarly, scenes with theater legend Betty Buckley as his psychiatrist also rivet with the energy of a stage play, and suggest a sincere sympathy for mental illness. A rarity in horror. Nevertheless, the movie still comes down to his alters’ obsessions with their kidnapped prize (Anya Taylor-Joy), a young woman who hides demons of her own. When these true selves finally cross paths in a genuinely tense finale, Split is maniacally thrilling. – DC

6. Sinister

An unsettling entry in the horror subgenre of writers who destroy their families, Sinister marked director/co-writer Scott Derrickson’s (The Exorcism of Emily Rose) return to horror after he detoured with an ill-fated remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still. Thus Derrickson and co-writer C. Robert Cargill concocted a unique, if somewhat scattershot, mythology about a pagan deity that murders entire families in the ghastliest ways imaginable.

Read more

Movies

M. Night Shyamalan Movies Ranked

By John Saavedra

Movies

Best Horror Movies on Netflix: Scariest Films to Stream

By David Crow and 2 others

True crime writer Ethan Hawke discovers the extent of those murders in a box of 8mm films left in the attic of his new home (where the last killings took place), and it’s the unspooling of those films—along with long sequences of Hawke moving through the shadows and silence of the house—that provide Sinister with its sickening core and palpable dread. Derrickson sustains the film’s foreboding mood for the entire running time, making the movie an authentically frightening experience. – DK

5. Oculus

The film that brought much of the world’s attention to Mike Flanagan, Oculus turned out to be a preview for the horror filmmaker’s interests. It also remains a truly unnerving ghost story. Not since the days of Dead of Night has a film so successfully made you scared of looking in a mirror.

Officially titled the Lasser Glass, the mirror in question is the apparent supernatural cause of hundreds of deaths, including the parents of Kaylie Russell (Karen Gillan) and her brother Tim (Brenton Thwaites). When they were children, their mother starved and mutilated herself before their father killed her. But now as an adult, Kaylie is convinced she can prove the antique glass is the true culprit, and she’ll document its evil power before destroying it. But the funny thing about evil mirrors is they have ways of protecting themselves, and wreaking havoc on a sense of time, place, and certainly self-image.

Read more

TV

The Haunting of Bly Manor: Mike Flanagan Discusses Standout Eighth Episode

By Alec Bojalad

TV

The Haunting of Bly Manor: The Poignant Tale of Hannah Grose

By Louisa Mellor

With the movie’s near masterful blending of events occurring 11 years ago and in the present, Flanagan revealed a knack for dreamlike structure, and stories about the past damning the future. These are ideas he’s gone on to explore in richer detail with The Haunting of Hill House and Doctor Sleep, but Flanagan’s ability to juxtapose childhood trauma with a nightmarish present was never more potent, or tragic, than in Oculus’ refracted gaze. – DC

4. Paranormal Activity

It may take some mental gymnastics, but if you can take a step back and ignore all the sequels that followed in the wake of this surprise 2009 blockbuster, then you’d remember Paranormal Activity is a stone cold classic. It is also the movie that put Blumhouse on the map. Already mostly finished when Jason Blum saw a DVD screener of Oren Peli’s Paranormal Activity, this $15,000-budgeted terror is arguably the most evocative use of found footage in all of horror.

While Peli is obviously influenced by 1999’s The Blair Witch Project, that earlier movie is as famous for its shaky disorientation as it is its scares. By contrast what occurs in Paranormal Activity is excruciatingly clear. Seriously, the camera barely moves! Instead we’re asked to sit back and watch in near slow motion as an unwise couple (Katie Featherston and Micah Sloat) meddle with forces that were better off left undisturbed.

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Movies

How Jason Blum Changed Horror Movies

By Rosie Fletcher

Movies

The Best Horror Movies to Stream

By Alec Bojalad and 1 other

It begins when Micah brings a home video camera into their house to track apparent ghosts in the dark; it ends in a demonic rush of violence. Everything in between is tracked by a disinterested lens, which usually sits statically in a corner or on a tripod, capturing the tedium of everyday life in its everyday natural lighting. Only occasionally does the horned shadow on the wall manifest. But then Paranormal Activity is chilling in its isolation. – DC

3. Insidious

As the fourth feature film directed by Australian filmmaker James Wan, Insidious follows a couple named Josh and Renai Lambert (Patrick Wilson and Rose Byrne), whose son inexplicably falls into a coma and becomes a vessel for malevolent entities from a dimension called the Further. The family enlists a psychic named Elise Rainier (Lin Shaye) in a battle involving astral projection and demonic possession.

Following an era of horror films that were more torture porn or police procedural (including Wan’s own Saw), Insidious was a return to the kind of horror filmmaking that was dependent on atmosphere, suspense, and what you don’t see lurking in the shadows. And Wan seemed to imbue that creepiness around the edges of every shot. Using actual adult characters and developing them (as opposed to the hipster teens that infested nearly every horror movie for at least 10 years previously) also set the film apart as a serious attempt at a genre that had been too often exploited in a tossed-off fashion.

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Movies

Universal Monsters: The Invisible Man Shows Life After Dark Universe Death

By David Crow

Movies

Blumhouse Horror Movies Update: Halloween Kills, Insidious 5 and More

By Don Kaye

The world-building of Insidious left the door open for sequels, of course, and while the three produced so far have had their moments, none has matched the sheer invention and terrifying fun of the original. – DK

2. The Invisible Man

Leigh Whannell’s reimagining of the classic Universal Monster, the Invisible Man, was as much of a surprise when it hit screens earlier this year as the titular villain himself. As a smart social commentary on domestic abuse and gaslighting, while also being enormously effective as a straight up horror, this was a highly fresh take on an old standard.

At the core was the terrific performance of Elisabeth Moss as Cecilia, a woman stuck with her controlling boyfriend Adrian (Oliver Jackson-Cohen) in their high-tech, high security fortress of a home. When Cece finally manages to escape and Adrian appears to take his own life, she hopes her ordeal can finally be over. But in fact it’s just beginning.

Read more

Movies

How Leigh Whannell Made The Invisible Man Scary Again

By Rosie Fletcher

Movies

How The Invisible Man Channels the Original Tale

By Don Kaye

Playing on the true horror of not being believed, Whannell’s Invisible Man is as harrowing at times as it is thrilling. Yes, there are some extraordinarily shocking set pieces – the restaurant scene of course stands out – but it’s the increasing desperation of Cece, whose world is falling apart at the manipulative hands of a man who won’t let her go, which stays with you.

The Invisible Man is a thrilling horror, for sure, with a feel good ending (if you want to read it that way…), but it’s something altogether more exciting than that too: a fresh, relevant take on a classic, expertly directed and boasting star power delivered on a moderate budget, which flexes exactly what horror can do. – RF

1. Get Out

More impressive than any awards it won, Jordan Peele’s Get Out encapsulates the essential draw of horror: through entertaining “scares,” it unmasks truths folks might find too horrifying or uncomfortable to acknowledge. In the case of Get Out, it is the despair of Blackness and Black bodies still being commodified by a predatory American culture.

Wearing influences like Rosemary’s Baby and Stepford Wives on his sleeve, Peele pulls from classic horror conventions for his directorial debut, but gives them a startling 21st century sheen. His movie’s insidious conspiracy is neither an obvious coven of witches or the openly racist heavies of a period piece. Rather Peele sets his story about a Black man (Daniel Kaluuya) coming to meet his white girlfriend’s parents in a liberal conclave of wealthy suburbia. Written during the final days of the Obama years, Peele casts these parents (Bradley Whitford and Catherine Keener) as genial and welcoming, shielding cries of racism behind fashionable political correctness.

Yet once Peele moves past that trendy veneer, he finds a potent allegory in which the ghosts of slavery are still alive and well, even in Upstate New York. Peele also packs anxieties about interracial relationships, culture clash, and childhood trauma into a film that is nevertheless gregariously funny. Ultimately though, its final effect is triggering in the best way. Get Out offers an opportunity to confront real dread, one uneasy laugh, and then sudden jump scare, at a time. – DC

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[whyarewecalledtheshipname]

an umbrella kairi ramble:

like, they give us kairi potential—

and then they don’t do anything with it.

they give us some more kairi potential—

and then they don’t do anything with it.

they give us /more/ potential—

and then they don’t do anything with it.

but it’s not “bad writing”. it’s not “nomura hates women”.

IT’S KAIRI.

KAIRI HAS POTENTIAL BUT DOESN’T DO ANYTHING WITH IT. SHE CONSISTENTLY FAILS TO SUCCESSFULLY EXPLORE AND MAXIMIZE HER POTENTIAL BECAUSE SHE AS A CHARACTER IS STUCK.

SHE WAS INTENTIONALLY WRITTEN TO /BE/ STUCK. IT HAS TAKEN HER NEARLY 20 YEARS TO EVEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP TO BECOMING /UNSTUCK/. IT WAS GRUELING AND BORING AND ABSOLUTELY INFURIATING. BUT THAT’S THE TYPE OF JOURNEY SHE’S BEEN ON. And it wasn’t an easy one, for her or the audience.

But the thing holding her back isn’t the writing, nomura, misogyny, or any other bs.

It’s been Kairi herself.

Kairi, being the person she is, having the mindset she has, has been holding herself back. She is her own biggest obstacle, and that’s what I keep trying to explain.

And it’s not that kairi holds herself back by “being a shitty character”. She literally just has a stagnant world view that HASN’T DEVELOPED OR GROWN OR CHANGED SINCE KH1.

That is canonically her role. The one friend who doesn’t want her life, friendships, or world to change. Regardless of the reason, that’s her character. That unwillingness to change is what Kairi EMBODIES.

So it makes COMPLETE sense for people to become frustrated and hopeless. It makes sense that people are “pushing” her, begging and praying that Kairi “do something” already. Because we genuinely want her to succeed.

But think of a person in real life. Sometimes you can’t just PUSH someone to grow when they’re not ready, before it’s their time.

And that’s what i get frustrated with. I completely understand that the role Kairi plays will purposely ELICIT that type of reaction, of pushing and expecting and anticipating and pushing—only to be let down again and again.

But it’s a shame some people don’t realize that she’s been set on this path with no end with /purpose/.

And now that she’s straying from that endless path, people are sighing with relief. “Oh, /finally/, they /fixed/ her.” As if she as a character just happened to be broken and needed mending.

Like, no. She is /supposed/ to be broken. Character wise, and story wise. We even get an explanation for what broke her. But people still act like she’s just been a poorly written, unlucky girl character who got shafted for the sake of the two main characters.

Like, that’s literally the embodiment of her story. She /is/ a poor, unlucky girl who got yeeted from her home and family at like age four and she’s been traumatized and trapping herself in the past ever since.

“Well, her story should be of kairi /actively working through her trauma/, instead of just doing nothing.” Except that’s not how it WORKS. Not everyone will just “deal with their trauma” right away, or even decades after the traumatic event. Many kh characters /do/, but they’re not kairi, and kairi isn’t them. She’s living with her trauma in her own way, and I want people to understand that. Even if it’s unhealthy for her, even if it comes at the cost of making her story “boring” and uninteresting. Trauma doesn’t always have to be packaged as some action-packed superhero story that’s fun to consume. Realistically, it isn’t, and that’s why i think kairi’s way of living with her trauma is under-appreciated. She represents a story that’s underrepresented in media.

But it’s like some people “do not see it” and just, shit on her. Like, fair, you don’t have to love her or even like her. A PERSON LIKE KAIRI can be hard to love to some people. That’s a hard truth. People in real life won’t wait around for you to get your shit together, sometimes. That’s just how it goes.

But I’d like for her role, the journey/story that she embodies, to be appreciated, at least. It’s done very well, and very subtly. She isn’t written to be EXPLICITLY OR EXPRESSLY “the one who falls behind bc of trauma or weakness”. She just /IS/, and that’s why people genuinely don’t recognize that she has a role of her own. A necessary evil, in order for the payoff to be worth it once she does grow out of it.

Like, think of Riku. His necessary evil was falling to darkness. And he worked like hell to climb his way out of it.

The difference between riku’s and kairi’s necessary evils is that Riku’s is more interesting on paper. It’s Riku against an Outside Force, as well as himself.

Kairi has little to struggle with other than herself, her own stagnant character and trauma. It just isn’t as interesting when there isn’t any physical embodiment of her internal struggle for her to physically fight against (such as Riku vs Ansem). Xehanort /was/ both her internal and Outside Force, but he’s been controlling her behind the scenes. It’s all a very good metaphor imo, bc it meant Kairi literally never got to confront him face to face until recently—ONLY FOR HER MEMORY OF SORA TO FIGHT HER BATTLE INSTEAD.

Which is maybe why lots of people hate that fight.

But as with everything, it was definitely done for a reason. We just don’t know why, yet. At face value, it really just seems like Kairi was (subconsciously) unwilling to face her Outside Force, even within her own mind. This was her chance to confront the cause of her trauma face to face, and she didn’t. Again.

See what I’m saying? But maybe now she’s beginning to realize that she has to become stronger, physically and mentally, in order to steel herself against the battles to come, both external and internal.

Anyway, this is all my opinion and personal interpretation. I’m not saying my interpretation is factually correct and that i’m tryna indoctrinate people lol. And it’s only one of many rambles i’ve jotted down 😭😭😭 I just want Kairi’s role to be understood, even if it’s to understand how difficult it is to appreciate lmao.

[ashenpages]

6 Things That Would Have Saved Kingdom Hearts III

So, I’m a lady gamer, and I loved 80% of this game. The other 20% is deal breaking for me.

Spoilers below the cut:

I know that Kingdom Hearts is a JRPG. Japan isn’t always good to its female characters and they can’t include canon queer content in their games without sacrificing their all ages rating; but I at least expected an open ended happy ending for our Destiny Trio the same way we got for the Wayfinder Trio and the Sea Salt Trio, and I REALLY  expected them to respect their female characters--especially after making Aqua such a big deal in BBS and a Fragmentary Passage.

Since they couldn’t deliver on any of that, here are the six ways I would fix Kingdom Hearts:

1. Have the Destiny Trio share a Papou Fruit.

It’s not inherently romantic, and no matter what you ship you get to be happy about the three of them always being a part of each other’s lives. Yes, the current Papou scene is sweet, but Sora and Kairi don’t know each other anymore. Hell, I would argue that Kairi has spent more time with Lea/Axel than she has with Sora in the last three years. The scene relies heavily on the mirroring the cave wall drawing from KH1 and heterosexual norms of “the guy getting the girl” more than it does any build up to Sora and Kairi actually being close. A pact between the three friends to be part of each others lives and finally getting to move forward together--whatever that might mean for them down the line, including any ship you stan--would do both the characters and the fans a lot more justice.

I’m personally a sorikai shipper, so don’t spam my inbox calling me a Kairi hater. I just think she deserves to fall in love with Sora as he is now instead of being forced into it for plot purposes. And vice versa, and also both of them with Riku. But notice how I’m not saying it should have been a pan-poly free for all. Much as I would love that, it’s just not in the realm of reality for a JRPG affiliated with Disney. Not YET, anyway.

2. Have Kairi meet up with Sora after he’s restored himself in the Final World

So, Sora regains his form, and BOOM: there’s Kairi. We have a sweet scene with her and him flying in light holding hands, and then instead of going back to the real world, they go to save Riku together. Some prime Kairi and Sora ONLY combos ensue, and then Riku is awakened, and sticks with Sora and Kairi to go save everyone else--courtesy of the papou Fruit bond they all shared earlier.

This gives Kairi an active roll in her light powers (instead of continuing to make her a character that could easily be replaced with a vase) and gives the Destiny Trio a minute to hang out, interact, get some party banter, and act as a party--not to mention let Kairi and Riku actually have a conversation.

It also gives us time to see Kairi as the badass magical power tank she deserved to be. You can’t tell me a Princess of Heart with her link to light and a keyblade doesn’t have crazy resilience and fucking devastating magic. Not after how OP Aqua’s magic swordsman shtick was in BBS. Kairi deserved better.

3. Personalized reaction commands for every ally in the Keyblade Graveyard. 

You remember Riku and Sora’s limit from KHII. Make one of those for each person Sora teams up with in the Keyblade Graveyard, and special ones for three person party mechanics.

4. Aqua doesn’t get felled by plot after her fight with Vanitas and something other than another damsel in distress situation is used to pull Ven out of his sleep.

Maybe a rousing speech from Aqua about how her friends are the most important thing to her, and she’ll fight Vanitas over and over again, or something. Mickey says Aqua is like Sora, so let’s see her pull Ven out in true Sora style instead of being forced to lose a fight she could have won in her sleep. Seriously, if I was supposed to lose, that fight should have been harder. But I pounded Vanitas with ease. His patterns haven’t changed since BBS and my girl Aqua has been leveling up and up and up in the realm of darkness, she did NOT deserve to robbed of that victory just because “I don’t drink my respect women juice” Nomura couldn’t think up another way to plot this.

5. Riku makes in-character decision regarding Sora and Kairi.

Riku stood back during the Aqua fight, didn’t hang with his friends on the island, and didn’t offer to go with Sora to find Kairi at the end. For a boy that spent all of the KH franchise either getting chased by Sora, chasing Sora or Kairi, or working for someone to help reawaken Sora, that doesn’t make a lot of sense.

So, instead, let’s have Riku team up with Sora for the Aqua fight. Let’s also have him go with Sora at the end of the game to find Kairi instead of being forcefully paired off with Namine. They can get separated due to plot later (See KH secret ending), but the way it is now, Riku has been plot zombied in order for Nomura to work out his FFXV bitterness. We get it, Nomura, you’re sad you didn’t get to make FFXIII versus, but don’t write my boy out of character just so you can have your way, please.

6. Namine gets to do more than just wake up at the end, and Kairi has a hand in saving her.

Maybe in the diving into everyone’s hearts sequence, we save Namine’s heart too. Or, when Xehenort strikes Kairi to make his 13th key, Kairi uses this an opportunity to guide Namine’s heart into the replica that’s still very much on the battlefield. Then, Namine gets to use her powers to somehow help in the final battle or the aftermath, and Kairi also gets to fulfill one of her missions--again, getting to be an active member instead just an object to force male character growth and action. Also, Namine doesn’t get forcefully paired off with another boy. They did it to her with Roxas, now they’ve done it to her again with Riku--even though it’s Repliku who cared about her. Also, don’t we still have Even? Repliku could have just waited it out in Riku’s heart for another body.

My conclusion:

All in all, I can’t justify giving Square Enix any more of my money based on the way they plotted this game.

Every time a woman picked up a keyblade she lost, got kidnapped, or was used as emotional leverage for male character growth and action. Nomura also seems more interested in working out his Final Fantasy XIII Versus/XV angst than he does in writing Riku realistically anymore. And poor Sora has become a cash cow for crossovers--even if it is going to be a TWEWY cross over.

Given the way both KH3 and FFXV treated their female characters, I can’t in good faith continue to support them as a female gamer. I’m very sad to say it, as both franchises have been very dear to my heart for almost as long as I’ve been playing games, but with awesome fem led, fem respecting, and queer inclusive indie games that could use my dollar more on the market, I will be taking my business elsewhere. 

[therandombanjo]

Songs From 2019 (one per artist)

Another mixed bag of stuff i either enjoyed a lot, thought was excellent or interesting (regardless of taste… sort of), emerging artists to maybe look out for, and generally music that for whatever reason connected with me in some way, including the odd earworm i just couldn’t shake. Some artists are left off just to vary a little more from some other popular lists. Hope you enjoy some of this too and find something new to be taken by. Please do buy their music if you can and hopefully from a local independent record store if possible to support their work. There’s a spotify playlist (below) for easier listening but I’ve also posted a few links to extra things on some of them if you want to check them out.  Spotify:

(As ever…. as i don’t tumblr or blog or anything (besides this list), this won’t be seen by many (if any?) people so if you like it or think it’s of any worth in any way, please do share this along)

In Alphabetical order:

A.A. Bondy - Killers 3 Abdallah Oumbadougou - Thingalene Alasdair Roberts - Common Clay Alex Rex - Latest Regret Andy Shauf - Try Again Angel Bat Dawid - We Are Starzz Angel Olsen - All Mirrors        bonus. her collab with Mark Ronson “True Blue” Anne Müller - Solo? Repeat! Antoinette Konan - Kokoloko Tani Arthur Russell - Words Of Love Asmâa Hamzaoui and Bnat Timbouktou - Sandia Baby Rose - All To Myself BCI - Grateful Bedouine - When You’re Gone Benny The Butcher - Crowns For Kings      ft. Black Thought Ben Walker - Afon Better Oblivion Community Center - Chesapeake Beverly Glenn-Copeland - A Little Talk     (from a reissue of her 2004 record Primal Prayer) Bibio - Curls The Big Moon - It’s Easy Then Big Thief - a. Not    b. Cattails    (from 2 excellent albums released in the same year: “U.F.O.F” and “Two Hands”) Bill Callahan - a. What Comes After Certainty    b. The Ballad Of The Hulk Bill Fay - Filled With Wonder Once Again Bill Orcutt - Odds Against Tomorrow billy woods - a. Spongebob w/ Kenny Segal     b. Western Education Is Forbidden    ft. Fielded        (From 2 excellent records this year: “Hiding Places” with Kenny Segal, and “Terror Management”) Black Country, New Road - Sunglasses Blu & Oh No - The Lost Angels Anthem    ft. Kezia Bon Iver - Hey, Ma Bonnie “Prince” Billy - Beast For Thee Bonny Light Horseman - Bonny Light Horseman      (”supergroup” of the great Anaïs Mitchell, Eric D Johnson & Josh Kaufman) Brent Cobb & Jade Bird - Feet Off The Ground Brighde Chaimbeul -  O Chiadain an Lo Brigyn - Oer Brittany Howard - Stay High    (the video for this, with Terry Crews, is a delight) Bruce Hornsby - Voyager One    ft. yMusic Burd Ellen - Sweet Lemany Caoimhín Ó Raghallaigh and Thomas Bartlett - Kestrel Caribou - You and I Caroline Polachek - Door Cate Le Bon - Daylight Matters Caterina Barbieri - Arrows Of Time Clairo - Bags Cochemea - Mitote comfort - Not Passing The Cool Greenhouse - Cardboard Man    (a pretty hilarious song about David Cameron) CRAC - You Can’t Turn Your Back On Me    (Unreleased old track from ‘76) Cross Record - PYSOL My Castle CZ Wang and Neo Image - Just Off Wave Damon Locks / Black Monument Ensemble - a. Rebuild a Nation   b. Power Daniel Norgren - The Flow Danny Brown - Dirty Laundry Daphni - Sizzling    ft. Paradise Daughter Of Swords - Fellows      (Mountain Man member Alexandra Sauser-Monnig’s 1st solo record) Dave - Psycho David Kilgour - Smoke You Right Out Of Here David Thomas Broughton - Ambiguity     (from the 15th anniversary reissue of his remarkable debut album, The Complete Guide To Insufficiency) Denzel Curry - RICKY Destroyer - Crimson Tide Dry Cleaning - Dog Proposal Dubi Dolczek - Do The Gloop Durand Jones & The Indications - Long Way Home Ela Orleans - The Season      (From 2012 but on a career retrospective, Movies For Ears, put out this year) Elkhorn - Song Of The Son Emile Mosseri - a. The Last Black Man In San Francisco b. San Francisco (Be Sure To Wear Flowers In Your Hair)    ft. Mike Marshall         (both from the wonderful score for the wonderful film The Last Black Man In San Francisco, the latter a cover of an old song sung here by the guy who sang “I Got 5 On It”!!) Erland Cooper - Haar Ernest Hood - Saturday Morning Doze        (from a re-issue of his “self-released proto-ambient masterpiece” in ‘75) Fat White Family - Feet Faye Webster - Room Temperature Fennesz - In My Room Fernando Falcão -  As 7 Filhas Da Rainha Sumaia     (reissue from ‘87) FKA twigs - cellophane Florist - Shadow Bloom Flowdan - Welcome To London Fontaines D.C. - Roy’s Tune Four Tet / KH - Only Human French Vanilla - All The Time Gang Starr - Family and Loyalty   ft. J. Cole Georgia - About Work The Dancefloor Girl Band - Shoulderblades The Good Ones - Will You Be My Protector?   (of Rwanda) Grand Veymont - Les Rapides Bleus       (of France) Gyedu-Blay Ambolley - Sunkwa     (of Ghana) Hailaker - Not Much HAIM - Summer GIrl Hana Vu - Actress Hand Habits - placeholder Hannah Cohen - Get In Line The Harlem Gospel Travellers - If You Can’t Make It Through A Storm Hayden Thorpe - Diviner     (Former Wild Beasts frontman’s debut solo record) Helado Negro - Running The Highwomen - Redesigning Women Hiss Golden Messenger - I Need A Teacher Holly Herndon - Frontier Homeboy Sandman - Far Out Hoops - They Say Hotel Neon & Blurstem - Language Of Loss House and Land - Rainbow ‘Mid Life’s Willows Ibibio Sound Machine - Wanna Come Down IDER - Saddest Generation The Innocence Mission - On Your Side International Teachers Of Pop - I Stole Yer Plimsoles    ft. Jason Williamson (of Sleaford Mods) Jacken Elswyth - The Banks Of Green Williow Jaimie Branch - nuevo roquero estéreo Jake Xerxes Fussell - The River St. Johns Jamila Woods - ZORA Jayda G - Leave Room 2 Breathe Jenny Hval - Ashes To Ashes       Jenny Lewis - Red Bull and Hennessy Jesca Hoop - Outside of Eden     ft. Kate Stables (of This Is The Kit) and Jesca’s 12 year-old nephew Justis. This live performance is so sweet https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUPmE_hU7Ss Jessica Pratt - As The World Turns Joanna Sternberg - This Is Not Who I Want To Be Joan Shelley - Cycle John Blek - North Star Lady Jordan Rakei - Say Something        bonus. under his DJ pseudonym: Dan Kye - Focus Jo Schornikow - Incomplete Joseph Shabason - West of Heaven Julianna Barwick - evening Junius Paul - Baker’s Dozen Kali Malone - Spectacle Of Ritual Kate Teague - Sweetheart Kate Tempest - a. Firesmoke    b. People’s Faces Kelly Moran - Halogen (Una Corda)       (from a record full of all the bare piano parts she played for her prior record before all the editing and processing) Kim Gordon - Air BnB Kindness - Hard To Believe     ft. Jazmine Sullivan KOKOKO! - Buka Dansa     (Congolese collective upcycling discarded materials to make their instruments) Konradsen - Baby Hallelujah     (of Norway) Lambchop - Everything For You Laura Cannell - a. Sing As The Crow Flies     b. Flaxen Fields Laura Stevenson - Lay Back, Arms Out Le Groupe Obscur -  Planète Ténèbres Leonard Cohen - Happens To The Heart Leo Svirsky - River Without Banks Little Simz - 101 FM Lizzo - Tempo   ft. Missy Elliot Loren Conors & Daniel Carter - Departing Lou Roy - Bite Low Chord - Walkk Lower Dens - Galapagos Mahalia - What You Did    ft. Ella Mai Majja - Black James Dean Maria Somerville - This Way Maria Usbeck - Amor Anciano Mary Halvorson & John Dieterich - Vega’s Array      (Mary the recipient of the MacArthur “Genius” Grant this year, because she is) Mary Lattimore & Mac McCaughan - IV Matana Roberts - As Far As The Eye Can See Meitei - Ike Melanie Charles - Trill Suite, No. 1 (Daydreaming/Skylark) The Menzingers - Anna Messiahs Of Glory - No Other Love      (from a collection of rare black gospel from the Midwest between ‘65-’78 put out on Tompkins Square) Mica Levi - a. Hosting     b. Lobo y Lady (from the excellent Colombian film Monos) Michael Abels - a. I Got 5 On It (Tethered Mix)    b. Pas De Deux (both from the terrific score to the excellent Jordan Peele film, Us) Michael Kiwanuka - Living In Denial Michael Nau - Poor Condition Mike Adams At His Honest Weight - Wonderful To Love Minor Pieces - Rothko      (duo of Ian William Craig & newcomer Missy Donaldson) Modern Nature - Footsteps Molly Sarlé - Twisted      (Mountain Man member’s 1st solo record) Moodymann - I’ll Provide Moon Duo - Stars Are The Light Moor Mother - After Images Moses Boyd - Stranger Than Fiction Moses Sumney - Polly Mount Eerie & Julie Doiron - Love Without Possession MSYLMA - Inqirad (Rihab-U Dhakir)     (Saudi Arabia) The Murder Capital - Don’t Cling To Life Nardeydey - Freefalling The National - Rylan   ft. Kate Stables (of This Is The Kit) The New Pornographers - Falling Down The Stairs Of Your Smile Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - a. Waiting For You   b. Bright Horses   c. Night Raid Nivhek - After Its Own Death: Side A    (Liz Harris of Grouper) Noname - Song 32 Octo Octa - Move Your Body ODD OKODDO - Auma      (Kenyan/German duo) Øyvind Torvund - Starry Night      (Norwegian composer) Pet Shop Boys - Burning The Heather Petter Eldh - Fanfarum for Komarum II Porridge Radio - Give/Take PREGOBLIN - Combustion Purple Mountains - a. Snow Is Falling In Manhattan    b. All My Happiness Is Gone   c. That’s Just The Way That I Feel Quelle Chris - Obamacare Quinie - Whas At The Windy Rapsody - Ibtihaj   ft. D’Angelo & GZA Reb Fountain - Faster Rian Treanor - ATAXIA_A1 Richard Dawson - Two Halves Robert Stillman - All Are Welcome Róisín Murphy - Incapable Rosalía - Milionària Rosenau & Sanborn - Saturday Rozi Plain - Symmetrical Ruth Garbus - Strash Sam Lee - The Moon Shines Bright   ft. Elizabeth Fraser (of Cocteau Twins) Sam Wilkes - Run Sandro Perri - Soft Landing SAULT - Smile and Go Seabuckthorn - To Which The Rest Were Dreamt serpentwithfeet - Receipts    ft. Ty Dolla $ign Sessa - Flor do Real         (of Brazil) Sheer Mag - Hardly To Blame Shit and Shine - No No No No Sinead O Brien - A Thing You Call Joy Siobhan Wilson - Plastic Grave Six Organs Of Admittance - Two Forms Moving Sleaford Mods - Kebab Spider Slow Meadow - Artificial Algorithm Snowy - EFFED    ft. Jason Williamson (of Sleaford Mods) SOAK - Knock Me Off My Feet Solange - Binz Sophie Crawford - A Miner’s Life Squid - Houseplants         bonus. Their cover of Robert Wyatt’s  “PIgs..... In There at End of the Road Festival) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DktZtQbo-YU Stella Donnelly - Old Man SUSS - Ursa Major Swamp Dogg - Sleeping Without You Is A Dragg   ft. Justin Vernon & Jenny Lewis Tami T - Birthday  Tenesha The Wordsmith - Why White Folks Can’t Call Me Nigga Theon Cross - Activate     ft. Moses Boyd & Nubya Garcia Thom Yorke - Dawn Chorus Tierra Whack - Wasteland Tim Hecker - That World Tiny Leaves - Respair Toya Delazy - Funani         (of South Africa) Twain - Death (Or S.F.?) Twin Peaks - Dance Through It Tyler Childers - All Your’n Vagabon - Water Me Down Vampire Weekend - This Life Vanishing Twin - Magicians Success Velvet Negroni - Confetti Vendredi Sur Mer - Chewing-Gum      (of France) Victoria Monét - Ass Like That Vieo Abiungo - Cobble Together Visible Cloaks - Stratum      ft. Yoshio Ojima & Satsuki Shibano Warmduscher - Midnight Dipper Weyes Blood - Andromeda Wilco - Love Is Everywhere (Beware) William Tyler - Our Lady Of The Desert Willie Scott & The Birmingham Spirituals - Keep Your Faith To The Sky     (from a collection of obscure 70′s era gospel on Luaka Bop, “The Time For Peace Is Now - Gospel Music About Us”) Xylouris White - Tree Song Ye Vagabonds - The Foggy Dew Zsela - Noise

[inconvenient-sneezes]

oh boy. what’s better than pre-serum steve with a nasty cold and caretaker!bucky?

Would I grant all your wishes and be proud of the task? Only forever, if someone should ask. How long would it take me to be near, if you beckoned? Off hand, I would figure less than a second.

[[this is a multi-chapter fic, so read part two and part three here]]

Time After Time

Chapter One: A Night on the Town (Before)

***

Steve Rogers straightens his collar nervously as he gets ready for his “date.” Bucky had managed to get him a blind date; they were supposed to meet up at Steve’s house and go to the bar from there. Steve knew it was going to be a disaster from the get-go, but Bucky had insisted.

Turning on the water, Steve let it run while he searched for his razor. He didn’t actually grow much facial hair, but he wanted to at least make sure he was clean shaven for whatever poor dame had been set up with him. He’d also contracted a cold, which wasn’t surprising, but he wasn’t excited to have to hide it from his date. The last thing he’d want to do is get her sick.

He lathers up the shaving cream in his hands and applied it to his face. The razor itself is a cold blade and makes him shiver. Steve shaves with gentle, even strokes. Out of nowhere, his nose begins to tickle. Before he can do anything, he sneezes, razor still near his face.

“Kuh’TSCHHH!” His head snaps forward and he feels the blade cut him. 

“Ugh...” He groans as he watches a thin line of red appear on his cheek. 

Steve hurriedly snatches a piece of toilet paper and holds it to his cheek. A knock on the door startles him and he’s immediately thankful there’s no one there to see him jump.

“Hey!” Bucky Barnes says and laughs, stepping into the threshold. “How’s my favorite—”

“Hh’TCHOO!” Steve backs away from Bucky and barely catches the sneeze in his elbow, one hand still pressing the cloth on the nick.

Bucky frowns. “Uh oh. I don’t like the sound of that.”

“I have a cold,” Steve admits, rubbing his nose. “It’s okay, I can still go out.”

But Bucky doesn’t look so sure. He’s seen Steve sick plenty of times, with illnesses far worse than a cold, but still, it makes him nervous. 

“How the hell did you manage to get a cold in the summer? Isn’t it supposed to be fall or winter for you to be able to get a cold?”

Steve scoffs. “Bucky, temperature has almost nothing to do with my getting a cold. In fact, you can’t really catch a cold from—”

“I know, I know, I’m just teasing. What happened to your face?” He points at the scrap of toilet paper pressed against his friend’s cheek.

“I cut myself shaving, of course.” The young man tosses the scrap in the garbage bin. “Does it look okay?” A small, angry mark presents itself on his cheek.

Bucky nods. “I think it makes you look tough.”

Steve’s heart flips in his chest. He loves when Bucky says these kinds of things to him. “Thanks.”

“Now let’s go. We can’t leave those girls waiting on us.” He claps Steve on the shoulder, careful not to knock him down.

***

As the cab approaches the bar, Steve gets more and more nervous. He can’t ever recall a girl actually liking him, especially when Bucky is in the same room. Steve’s just too skinny, too scrawny and truth-be-told, much too average for a girl to like. Bucky? Well, Bucky’s the great war hero, about to be shipped off again. 

Sometimes Steve wonders if they know Buck’s a sniper and if they’d feel the same way if they saw him in action, killing. They probably would. Sure Steve gets jealous sometimes, but he really does like Bucky, a lot.

“There they are.” Bucky breaks Steve out of his thoughts and nods to two beautiful girls waiting outside the pub.

Two of the most beautiful girls Steve has ever seen are standing outside, waiting for them. They’re both wearing dresses, one sapphire blue, the other a nice yellow, and both sport high heels. 

The girl in blue looks a bit nervous, but probably not as much as Steve is right now. She’s chewing gum and glancing at down the street. Her friend appears to be bored, lazily twirling her curly locks around a finger while she chats. She has to have the reddest lips on the block, Steve thinks to himself.

“Wow,” he breathes.

“Yeah,” Bucky agrees. “The one in yellow is all yours.”

Steve gulps and rubs his wrists. “Uh, Bucky. I don’t know what to do.”

Bucky grabs his friend’s hands and puts them in Steve’s lap. “Look, just follow my lead. She’ll love you.”

“Eh’TSHOO!”

“And don’t sneeze too much,” he adds, before handing the driver some money and climbing out of the cab.

They walk over to the women, Steve sweating and Bucky smiling. “Hey girls,” he says with a wave. “How are you?”

“Bucky!” the girl in blue squeals, throwing herself on him. “I thought you’d never show.”

Steve stands by awkwardly, waiting for Bucky to introduce him and trying not to sneeze. The yellow-dressed girl gives Steve an apprehensive glance. “Is this...?” she begins, sounding like she almost doesn’t hope it’s true.

“Girls, this is Steve,” Bucky says, then gestures to the girl in blue. “Steve, this is Evelyn,” he adds, nodding at the girl in yellow, “and Ruth.”

“Hi,” Steve offers, knowing Ruth already doesn’t like him.

She smiles pleasantly. “Hello.”

Bucky puts his arm around Evelyn. “Let’s not wait around ladies, it looks like it’s going to rain.”

And indeed it does. Storm clouds hang in the sky, surely ominous first-date signs. Or so Steve believes. They approach the doors and of course, Bucky is the one to hold them open.

***

They’re sitting together, boy-girl, boy-girl, but things are mostly centered around the soldier. Steve figures he should be used to it by now, but he never feels like he is. 

He’s not even a real big drinker, but tonight he’s already had two and a half drinks, more than normal. Bucky says something and both girls giggle.

Steve feels his nose itch but doesn’t make a real effort to stop it. He doesn’t try to make it unnoticeable. “Hih’KSHHH!”

Ruth is turned away from him and is facing Bucky. He smiles as he says something else and then tries to pull Steve into the conversation. “Steve here likes baseball too, don’t you?”

Both girls are staring at him now and he tries not to look like an idiot. “Yeah. I um, like the New York Yankees.”

“Me too!” Evelyn says, giving him a small smile.

“He has both Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig’s signatures on a baseball,” Bucky brags, making Evelyn’s face light up. 

Ruth looks completely uninterested. 

“You don’t like baseball, Ruth?”

You don’t like me, Ruth? Steve imagines him saying this to her face, but his itching nose has other plans. “HhH! Kh’XTSHH!” 

Stifled, it’s such a girlish sounding sneeze, Ruth and Evelyn snicker and Steve can see Bucky smiling behind his hand. “Excuse me,” Steve mutters and both girls giggle again.

“Steve has the most adorable sneezes, doesn’t he?” Bucky jests, earning a laugh or two out of the pair.

To his dismay, he can’t help sneezing again. “Hiih’XXST! Er’SHH!”

They bless him, still looking that like they want to laugh, but don’t.

“That’s so cute!” Evelyn comments.

“That’s so funny,” Ruth says in an almost flat tone.

Steve sniffles. This is embarrassing and not how it was supposed to go but Bucky’s loving it. He’s also kind of drunk.

“Do it again, Steve!”

Now he’s even more motivated not to. His nostrils twitch but he angrily rubs them with a slender finger.

A couple drinks later and Bucky is kissing Evelyn like there’s no tomorrow and he’s not being discreet about it. Every time Steve hears their lips smack or when Evelyn moans quietly, he blushes. They’re in public, for God’s sake. Ruth is still sipping from her glass, more bored than ever.

“I like your lipstick,” Steve tries, sniffling. Ruth doesn’t answer or give him any acknowledgement she heard him. After awhile, Steve’s head is bobbing up and down and he’s fighting to stay awake.

“Hihh’GNKK!” 

He’s too tired to get his hands up but instead stifles one into his shoulder. Evelyn is sent into a fit of giggles upon hearing the sound and Steve is so done. He’s got a killer headache and his nose keeps running. 

He can’t even relax with Ruth sitting beside him. Steve stumbles down from his chair and tugs on Bucky’s sleeve to tell him he wants to go home. 

He must not feel it though, because he doesn’t pull away from his girl. That’s just fine with Steve. He mutters a goodbye and an apology to Ruth and leaves.

***

It’s raining outside, hard. Steve can barely see, what with the way his eyes are watering and the blur of rain. Soon, he’s soaked to the bone and shivering. 

“Hihh’TSHOO!” Finally, he can sneeze in peace.

Steve desperately wants to get home, though. Unfortunately for him, he’s terribly drunk and can’t remember the direction his apartment is in. He could hail a cab, but he doesn’t have money and can’t recall exactly what his address is.

“Watch it!” A voice growls before barreling into Steve. He has such a small frame that he’s knocked completely to the ground. Steve sits there in a puddle, dazed, and watches as the large man continues walking. 

“Ehh... eh’TSHHH!” Steve sneezes into his hands, his hair dripping.

“Steve!” Someone shouts and Steve feels himself being hauled up. For some reason, this causes him to cough until the same person pats him on the back.

“What are you doing on the ground? You know what, it doesn’t matter. Let’s get you home.” 

It’s Bucky. He leads his friend over to the curb and whistles for a cab. He helps Steve in and soon follows him. 

Bucky tells the driver his own address (because there’s no way Steve’s going back home to his house) and they’re off, speeding through the night.

“Whad aboud Evelyd?” Steve asks, congested and out of it.

“She... well, it wasn’t going to work out with us anyway. Plus, I didn’t appreciate the way Ruth treated you.”

“You didn’t? Id wasn’t — hh’XXKSHHUHH!” A strong sneeze racks his body, but he still covers his nose and mouth with his hands. A true gentleman.

“Yeah, yeah, but I shoulda known.” Bucky rubs his face tiredly. “I’m sorry for taking you out, Steve. I really shouldn’t have...”

Steve shakes his head and unintentionally sprinkles his friend with water. “Doe, id’s defidetly dot your fauld. I just ged worse id the bordigs ad dights. Besides, I probably scared her away with by... uhh... huhhH!” But he pinches his pink nose and the sneeze stops in its tracks. “With by sdeezig.”

“No, you were fine. You did everything right.”

The ride home is quiet except for Steve’s occasional sneeze and coughing.

*** Bucky leads the man inside, shaking and shivering. Bucky shut his door and locks it. He didn’t think he was going to let Steve go back home by himself tonight.

He collapses into the couch, exhausted. “I’b sorry I ruined your dight.”

Bucky gave him a sad smile. “Steve, you didn’t ruin my night. It looks like I ruined yours, more like.”

“Hehh... hih’GSHHOO!” Steve sneezes into his hands again.

“Oh God, right. Um, first things first. Get out of those clothes I guess.” Bucky had switched from friend into caretaker. He’d taken care of Steve so many times, it’d just felt natural at this point. Flu, strep, even pneumonia. You name it, Steve had contracted it at some point.

Steve shakily tries to unbutton his shirt. “B-Buck... I cad’t — ehh... HMPPP!” He presses his nose into his shoulder.

“I got it.” Bucky’s fingers move down his shirt, unbuttoning as they go, despite the many drinks he’s had tonight. Soon, Steve is shivering in his underwear and Bucky takes a quick moment to marvel at exactly how skinny he is. He can see all of his ribs and the goosebumps that seem to be everywhere.

Buck brought a blanket out of the closet and put it around his bony shoulders. “I’ll be right back, let me get you some clothes.”

And by clothes he really means “bathrobe” and pajamas. Steve puts his hands on Bucky to steady himself before stepping into the pajama pants. They’re much too big for him, but oh-so-comfortable. 

“Don’t forget the shirt,” Bucky reminds him and Steve puts his arms through the sleeves and lets Bucky button it. Lastly, he slips a bathrobe on his friend and watches as the ends of the robe pile at his feet. Bucky ties it around him and hands him the blanket. “You want to listen to the radio?”

“Ad this hour?” Steve’s mouth stretches into a yawn.

Oh, yeah. “You’re right,” Bucky nods. “It’s probably too late.”

Steve shakes his head. “No, id’s okay. Led’s try to find sobethig. Ahh... ATSCHHH!”

So Bucky takes the radio he owns and messes with the dial until someone’s singing drifts into the room. Steve grins. “I love this sogg.”

It’s Bing Crosby’s “Only Forever.” To Steve’s amusement. Bucky sits on the couch and starts serenading him. “Would I grant all your wishes and be proud of the task? Only forever, if someone should ask.”

Steve grins like an idiot when Bucky moves on to the next verse. “How long would it take me to be near, if you beckoned? Off hand, I would figure... less than a second.”

Bucky smiles at Steve until he sees his nose twitch. Annoyed, Steve scrunches up his nose and rubs it cruelly with his knuckles. “Ehhh... hehhHH!” He pinches the sneeze away, making Bucky throw up his hands.

“Steve, we’re alone! You can sneeze in front of me if you want.”

He shrugs. “We’re sitting close together ad I don’t wadda — AhhHH!” The tickle is back and Steve’s hands immediately come to his face. Bucky sighs to himself and grabs Steve’s wrists.

“B-Bucky... I g-gotta... hahh... Hahh’SHHHH!” He sneezes into the air and sniffs, flushing bright red.

“I’ve seen you with much worse than a nasty cold,” Bucky reminds him. “No need to be shy about it.”

“Bud id’s hahhH... e-embarrassig.” His nostrils are still flaring. “Ad I cad’t ged by dose to stahh... to stop doig this. Also, I think you’re drunk,” Steve points out.

“You are too.” Bucky can’t help thinking that Steve looks adorable like this, all drunk and so helpless. “Shhh...” he says as the song changes. “You like Sinatra, right?”

Steve nods, still blushing, but he lets his eyes flutter shut as Bucky starts bobbing his head. It starts with humming and turns into singing. “I said all, nothin’ at all. If it’s love, there ain’t no in-between.” 

Steve loves this so much.

Bucky watches Steve, his eyes still closed. He looks so naive and small, shivering underneath the blanket he’s wearing.

“Why begin, then cry for somethin’ that might have been? No, I’d rather, rather have nothin’ at all.” Bucky warbles softly, discreetly scooting closer to Steve. 

He figures sitting closer will keep his friend warmer, and there’s nothing wrong with that. That’s what he’s had to do in the service sometimes, sleeping together or back to back to keep warm. But he can’t exactly hide the feelings he has for Steve.

“Ihh... ITSCHH!” Steve sneezes an itchy-sounding sneeze and then gears up for another. “Hahh’ESHHH!”

“Bless you,” Bucky murmurs, allowing Steve to put his head on his shoulder. They fall asleep there with the radio on at a low volume. 

Steve snores congestedly the whole night, but Bucky doesn’t even wake up.

***

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[darkvolley]

The virus has begun a strange undertaking: a reckless plot to allow the Five to escape into another worldline. Surely such a thing can't be possible? We're talking about the same trick that allowed the Dandelions to transfer to other worldlines after the Keyblade War. But these children are no Masters. They haven't the means...unless, of course, a certain lady of magic summoned here from the future knows more than I do.

"a certain lady of magic summoned here from the future knows more than I do."

WHAT THE FUCK!?

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN!?!?!

WHO!?!?! FAIRY GODMOTHER!?!!? THE BLUE FAIRY!?!? WHAT THR EVER LOVING LITERAL FUCK DOES THAT MEAN!?!?! AQUA!?!?! THERE'S LIKE NO WOMEN IN KH WHO THE FUCK IS THIS!?!?!? HOW FAR IN THE FUTURE!!?!? IS THIS A FUTURE CHARACTER!?!?!

Oh my god, I'm a dumbass... is it Maleficent? Is it fucking Maleficent!? But it says 'summoned' and she wasn't summoned, she did that herself, didn't she?!?!?! Why the fuck does it say summoned? If it means Maleficent then that's shitty word choice!

And the context implies this lady helps(or will help) them move through worldlines. Maleficent would never do something like that and I think she already went back to her timeline after her talk with Darkness, if that ended already. I can't remember.

All of this sounds disjointed anyway. Like he's talking about several different topics close together rather than going through one topic. It sorta sounds like the lady isn't connected at all to his previous sentence. And his sentence after that isn't connected to the lady! Although that might be because I have poor reading comprehension. (Edit: I understand now that I put the asks out of order. I did not know that.)

Anyway, I don't know exactly what you want me to do with this information, but while I'm at it with this info infront of me lemme say some shit.

IT'S NOT VENTUS!! The imposter and the virus are the same person. Brain calls himself a virus meaning he is the virus, meaning he is also the imposter. The imposter was not chosen by MoM, meaning the imposter did not get a book. Brain, the virus/imposter, had to get a book from the one person we know was chosen but isn't there. Strelitzia. Brain killed Streli. Ven has done nothing. Him having Missing Ache means nothing. He is not the killer/imposter. End of discussion.

He's another thing too. Brain gets No Name. No Name needs to end up in the hands of Xehanort and Eraqus's master so that it can be given to Xehanort. Ven ended up in the future as Xehanort's student. Lauriam ended up in the future and becomes Marluxia. I'm putting my foot down on Skuld being Subject X meaning she ended up in Radiant Garden. Ephemer seems to be dead in the Keyblade Graveyard. Who does that leave out of the five Union Leaders to be the first one to get No Name from Luxu? Brain. There are no hints as to anything that happens to him or his whereabouts in the future. Meaning he stayed in the past and got a student/students to eventually pass No Name onto as well.