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#positive feedback system
thepoisonroom · 5 months
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'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.
I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.
About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'
-Casey Plett, Consciousness
#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it#i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition#but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body#not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways#but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth#valuing and exploring and treasuring#i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible#but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body?#it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head#and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude#this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example#like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than#violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body#to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities#like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia#so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you#even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by#what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems#Casey Plett#she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her#this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger#i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial#she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies#that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era#it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it#i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience#said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip#personal nonsense
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obstinaterixatrix · 1 year
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this is a generalization but for the most part I think what is vital for understanding the romance genre and romance tropes is that it’s a fantasy genre. it’s romantic fantasy. (set aside specific subgenres/subversions etc for a moment). and it’s fantasy that needs to be contextualized by societal ideas about romantic relationships, whether the fantasy is about reinforcing them or subverting them. I personally think that because of genre/subject is a fantasy in context of a society that is oppressive/hostile to the core audience (speaking generally, women), the fantasies naturally center power in most narratives. You can say the same about a lot of other genre fiction, but I do think the romance genre is distinct in terms of having a core audience of women and being dominated by women. (I’m also speaking specifically about novels—I don’t have evidence to back this but, but I do get the impression that a lot of romantic movies have a more even split of male directors/writers…?) but anyway, I think it’s a really interesting mirror… even the really shitty ones can be read from the perspective of ‘what cultural relational shorthands are they using to convey a romantic fantasy and how are they failing’ lol
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willowcrowned · 2 years
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I think when professors hand you back a project with comments they should have to tell you how cool and special and smart you are
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jobsbuster · 4 months
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alchemusprime · 1 year
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6 Steps toward Evolutionary Stability: I am B, Part II
In Part I of this series, I summarized three of the six steps toward evolutionary stability, from Daniel Quinn’s book, The Story of B. The first is the Law of Life, which says that whatever fosters life is evolutionarily stable. The second is diversity, which ensures resilience through genetic abundance. The third is the Law of Limited Competition, which states that we can compete but not destroy…
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simpxxstan · 3 months
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favourite
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pairing: boss!wonwoo x model!mingyu x f.reader
genre: smut, slowburn, poly!relationship
summary: after being happily single for years, when you develop a crush, you don't know what to do. you think your closest friend (with benefits) can take your mind off things. but when you ask for his help, you certainly didn't imagine this kind of help from him.
word count: 15k words
rating: NSFW 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT PLEASE!!!
warnings: mentions of workplace sexism, minor sugar daddy x sugar baby dynamics, fwb dynamics, wonwoo and mingyu are both depicted as bisexual in this story and this does not imply anything from real life, asymmetric power dynamics (boss and employee), open relationship (not really but-), slight possessiveness, minor age gap (wonwoo is four years older than reader and mingyu).
smut warnings: sub!mingyu, dom!wonwoo, switch!reader, threesome, sir kink, usage of petnames (baby, pretty baby, darling, love, baby boy, doll), praise kink, degradation kink, minor (?) objectification, heavy descriptive mlm action, anal sex, usage of butt plug and cock ring, use of lube, orgasm denial, unprotected sex (pls do not do this irl), oral sex (m. receiving, f. receiving), nipple play (with both male and female), usage of traffic light system during sex, spanking, usage of degrading petnames (cockslut, whore, plaything), spitroasting, squirting, multiple sex scenes, PLEASE LMK IF I MISS OUT ON SOMETHING.
a/n: does anyone know how to get out of corporate!wonwoo brainrot? if yes, pls pls pls lmk i need it ^^ comments, reblogs, and feedback are so so much appreciated!! would love to hear your thoughts on this dynamic so beloved to me- i have some headcanons in mind too, could share if anyone wants!
(i)
You slowly sip the whisky on your glass, on the rocks, the liquid burning through your chest. You embrace the burn, as your mind wanders away from the beautiful night skyline in front of you. It’s been a couple of hours since you’ve returned home, the night edging towards midnight, but you can’t get it out of your mind. 
You can’t get him out of your mind. 
His voice, his scent, even hearing his footsteps give you sheer goosebumps. 
God, you thought you were better than this. After spending so many years in the ruthless corporate world, you pride yourself on becoming a woman made of steel. Nothing affected you anymore. Disobedient juniors? Your reputation of being the most unforgiving boss in the entire building has permeated to everyone in the industry. Sexism? There’s a rumour that you once stabbed your stiletto into the hand of a man trying to grab your ass, and since then, no one’s dared to look down at you for being a woman. Disrespectful bosses? They knew better than to get their top employee against them, especially when you had a record of toppling over bosses and taking their position sheerly through merit. 
It hadn’t been easy. Fighting into the corporate world as a woman with no contacts and no fancy universities on your CV had been tough, but it had made you strong enough to not let anything faze you anymore. It certainly helped that you were not interested in anything except your career, so you had every reason to keep fighting on without giving up. It also helped that you were married to your work- the way you regularly return home late, even in your tenth year at the company, was testimony to that fact. 
And yet, he had managed to faze you. Your face grows red with shame just thinking about how your heart and body reacted when you see him, and you take another hurried gulp from your glass, eager to divert your mind away. 
The door unlocks itself. 
“You came.” You turn around in your swivel chair to see a tall man, wearing a long black trench coat enter your house, his cap and sunglasses not giving away any of his face. But you know damn well who it is. 
“You called. You never call first unless it’s urgent.”
Mingyu steps out of the shadows, taking away his coat, cap and sunglasses, and you see that he’s wearing a fancy blue button down with jeans. 
“Did you have a schedule before this?”
“Yes. Y/N, please tell me you have something to eat, I’m famished. I’ve been eating nothing but chicken breast for the last week because of this shoot today, but now I’m ready to break my diet. Do you have ramen?”
He makes himself at home in your open kitchen, as you watch on from your prime spot next to long glass windows which make up the wall of your living room. There are dim lights on, but Mingyu looks perfect even like this. “Of course I have ramen. Can you make some for me too?” 
“Sure, I’ll add eggs too. I’m really hungry.” You smile at the way Mingyu quickly found his way through your house. This isn’t the first time he’s cooking in your kitchen, and you hope it won’t be the last time certainly. 
You finish your glass and walk up to him, just as he’s pouring out the ramen into two bowls. “Thank you for the food, Mingyu.” You sit on the kitchen counter and he pulls up the stool next to you, your bare legs hanging next to him. He pecks your cheek, before handing you chopsticks and the two of you instantly begin inhaling the ramen which is made just perfectly. You’re silent while eating, and Mingyu finishes first. Once you’re done, he cleans up the dishes too. 
“Mingyu, you’re my guest, stop doing all the work.” You swing your legs over the counter, and pull his hand until he’s locked in between your two legs. His hands land over your shoulders, and you lean in to kiss him, but he pulls away-
“Wash your mouth, baby. And wait for me in the bedroom.” You make a face, not looking forward to waiting because you want him now. He seems to read your mind, so he continues, “I won’t even take 2 minutes.”
So you do wash your mouth, brush your teeth too and dab some serum on your face.
“What happened that you had to call?” Mingyu comes and stands behind you in the ensuite bathroom, his face in your neck as he inhales your scent. 
“I can’t call my friend from time to time?”
His giggles are warm against your bare skin. “Y/N, as much as I love you, you know it wasn’t just a call. Although I don’t mind,” he carefully begins to untie the straps at your shoulders, “you know I am always at your service,” then he lets the dress drop to your feet, and places his hands on your hips, his gaze scanning you through the mirror. You’re not wearing anything underneath, and it’s a treat for his eyes. 
You turn around before he can touch you where he really wants to. 
“I know we stopped after you…”
“God, don’t make it sound so sad. You know my boyfriend is okay with this.”
“Yes I know, but I thought it was a matter of principles?” 
Mingyu’s canines are out as he giggles. “Darling, you do know what an open relationship means?”
You sigh. “I don’t know how you do it. Do you not get jealous? Does he not get jealous? Of me?”
Mingyu doesn’t say anything, bending down to kiss on the sensitive spots of your neck. “He does, sometimes. And then, he fucks me hard enough to remind me who I come home to, after all.” You shudder against his touch. “So, please Y/N. Don’t hesitate.” 
He stops kissing you as you take his face in your hands, feeling the smooth skin under your nails. The hunger in his eyes, softened by his affection for you, are all the confirmation you need.
_
Mingyu is, for all his height and glory, no dom. He’s a service top at best. But you like it better if he’s pinned underneath you, squirming against the way your nails tease his nipples, his cockring tight, as you ride him, gifting yourself with endless orgasms. His hands are tied up above his head, leaving his arms left bare for you to savour. So you do so, biting, licking and sucking his arms which seem to have grown since the last time you did this, although admittedly, that was over six months ago. You know Mingyu is especially sensitive at his nipples, so at least one of your hands never leave his chest, holding on to the rock-hard muscle for both support and also to keep him down. Even with his hands tied, he’s strong enough to flip you over, but you know it’s not really necessary. With the way he’s drooling all over your pillows and begging you with his soft, puppy eyes, to let him cum once, you don’t think he’s aware of just how strong he is. 
“Baby’s doing so well, hmm?” You whisper into his ear, leaning down to hear his moans and whimpers clearer. “Can you give me one more orgasm? Do you want to?” He nods feverishly, but you gently tap his lips. “I want words, pretty baby. Colour?” But he still doesn’t reply. So you sit up, and lift your body away from where you’re seated on his cock, wondering if you’re doing something wrong. But he instantly thrashes his feet and words come flowing out. “No! I’m sorry- all green, I swear.” “I’m sorry if I pushed you too hard-” “No! Y/N, please. Just zoned out for a second. Please. Green.” So you gently push his cock back inside, still red, weeping and imaginably hard. 
“Can you give me one more? Mingyu? You’re doing so well.”
“Yes! Yes I can!” He moves his head forward, and you kiss him. Softly, unlike how you’re bouncing on him. The kiss is sloppy, leaving strings of spit between your mouths, but that’s how Mingyu likes it, you know. You also know he likes your tits, so you sit up, and let his mouth fall to your breasts. And he devours them, like a hungry man. Sloppily licking, kissing and sucking at your nipples, until they’re swollen. 
And when you cum again, your warmth floods Mingyu’s still-erect cock, his head lolls, eyes rolling back, as you feel spent and tired. “Baby, you did so well. So good for me. You were made for me, I think. Made to give me heavenly orgasms,” you see the way his gaze becomes unfocused at all the praise. He eagerly kisses you, moaning when you suck his lip too hard, all while you untie the knot of his hands. When his hands are finally free, he gently flips you over into the bed. 
“Let me clean you up-” you offer. But he shakes his head, pushing you down on the bed now, as he bends down towards your stomach. In spite of the five orgasms of the night, a spike of arousal shoots through you, as you realise what’s going to happen. 
“I want my dessert, Y/N. Let me worship you for being so patient with your good boy all night. Please? Haven’t I been a good boy? ”
And he has been a good boy. Such a good boy, the way his skillful tongue laps all over your ruined, messy folds, licking the remnants of your cum still in you, and making out with your pussy. He drives you on the verge of overstimulation, so you yank his hair up and remove his face from your cunt. 
“Let me take off your cock ring. You’ve been such a good boy. Cum with me as you eat me out?” It’s too good of a reward for him to not smile widely, his canines out and his eyes bright. He doesn’t care that he has to rut against the bed to chase his high. He does it fast, just how fast his tongue moves in your cunt, and he holds back to time it such that you both reach your climax at the same time, and you’re moaning out loud. 
“Wonwoo!” 
You don’t realise that Mingyu hears that too, as you pass out for a long second after squirting all over Mingyu’s face.
_
That night doesn’t end there. There are quick breaks from time to time, but it goes on until you’re positively sure the first rays of the sun are coming up in the sky, and you both are tired as fuck. Spent, wasted and high on all the hormones, you snuggle into Mingyu’s warm body, as he cages you into him with one arm on your side. His cock is finally flaccid after going all night long, and your body is too sore to move. It’s just a miracle that Mingyu smells good even after all night. 
“Who was that whose name you called out earlier?” 
Fuck. You’d forgotten about that.
At least Mingyu doesn’t sound mad. He just sounds mildly amused, and a little curious. You purse your lips and turn up to face him. Well, it would come out sometime or the other. And better if you admit your secret first to Mingyu than anyone else. At least you don’t feel that embarrassed in front of him, because of how you’ve both been friends. 
“My new boss.”
“Huh?”
“Yeah. Was appointed a month ago. He used to manage the overseas operations first, but apparently he’s been wanting to come back and settle down for a permanent position here for a long time. Six months earlier, he shifted back with a temporary position to headquarters, and our CEO was so impressed with him, he got promoted to our branch as the Director.”
“And you like him?” Mingyu’s voice has a lilt to it, as if he finds it a bit funny. 
He might as well. You yourself find it funny. “I- I don’t know. I think I’m a little infatuated with him? Fuck, Mingyu, this is so embarrassing but-”
“It’s not embarrassing. Even if you’re all steel outside, I know you’ve got a soft core. And who will you admit crushes to if not to a friend?”
You gently slap his chest, and he laughs. “You’re mocking me.”
“Am not. It is a crush, or is it more?”
“God, no! He doesn’t even know I like him. I mean I hope he doesn’t. It would be so embarrassing. God, I’m going to lose the entire image I’ve made in front of my peers and subordinates!”
“Why? Does he make you act irrationally?”
“Oh so irrationally. He makes me distracted during meetings. He makes my mind wander during work. I’ve lost focus, and I’ve lost my concentration. One time he put his hand on my thighs, and I swear I got wet. I don’t even get that wet during foreplay usually!” 
Mingyu bursts out laughing. “Y/N, I think this is a pretty bad case. I’ve never seen you have this kind of an infatuation in all the eight years that we have been friends.”
You nod. You know that well enough. 
“But the question is, why don’t you make a move on him? Why only hide? Is he married?”
“Nah. It’s worse. He’s not into women.”
Mingyu shifts a bit, turning his head towards you. “Are you sure?”
“He has a boyfriend. And as far as his record goes, he’s never dated a woman. Always rejected advances from females.”
Mingyu hums, before wrapping an arm around your waist. “But a girl can dream, hmm?”
“Don’t mock me, Mingyu! I called you here to get my mind off him but…”
“But you still called out his name when you came.” There’s a smirk on his lips. “What’s his name, you said?”
“Wonwoo. Jeon Wonwoo.”
In the darkness of the night, you don’t notice Mingyu’s smirk widening, because you’re too busy yawning. And as soon as you close your eyes, basking in Mingyu’s warmth, you’re out like a light.
_
(ii) 
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. 
“Miss Y/L/N, I’ve spoken to my secretary to rearrange your schedule to accommodate the trip to Tokyo. Have you checked it?” Wonwoo asks you in the weekly meeting, and you have no option but to recollect your calm as you reply, because everybody’s watching. “I have, Sir. But I have to tell you, I hardly have any experience in dealing with international investments-” 
“Then this is the perfect opportunity for you to get that experience.” His eyes are cold and fixed on yours, glaring at you from across the table. His gelled hair lifted off his forehead reveals slightly furrowed eyebrows. 
You bite your lip. Any other time and you would jump on the opportunity. But this time, you have to hesitate because you’re afraid you’ll jump your boss on the trip and that would be enough to end your career then and there. But you have a point to prove, especially to the seven other men sitting on the same table. Even in the bright sunlight of the morning in the boardroom, their eyes glint like wolves, waiting for you to make the slightest mistake. They’re waiting for Wonwoo to disapprove of you, so that they can remove the single infiltrator in their male-dominated corporate world. 
“Then I won’t disappoint you, Sir.” Wonwoo nods curtly. “Miss Y/L/N, please meet me in my office after the lunch break.” You nod and take his leave as the meeting comes to an end. 
Fuck. Less than two days left for the trip, and somehow your confidence has weakened already. You take a seat in your office, staring at your open computer screen, wondering what has come over you. It’s shocking just how much your mind has started behaving and reacting to everything Wonwoo does or says. He’s just four years older than you, but there’s something in his aura which has you second-guessing your every move. Perhaps it's the way he dresses in nothing but the darkest shades of black every day. Perhaps it’s his horn-rimmed glasses, which do nothing to soften his piercing gaze. Perhaps it’s the way there are rumours floating about, but nothing seems to disturb him. In the three weeks you’ve met him, you’ve never seen him lose control even for a second. Not one loud voice, not one expression of unease, not one flicker of anger. In all of your life, you’ve never met a man with such force of character. Character that does not divert, that does not decrease. It intrigues you and excites you in equal parts. 
You don’t bother to knock because Wonwoo’s blinds are up and his eyes have been on you since you left your own cabin to walk to his office. 
“Sir?”
“Have a seat, please.”
So you do, but he stands up. He comes around the desk to sit on the desk next to you, and his scent engulfs you. Your body has an almost Pavlovian reaction to it- every time you smell his cologne mixed with his naturally masculine scent, you feel intoxicated. The hairs on the end of your skin have risen, as his eyes never leave yours. 
“There’s a document on this tablet. I will send it to your email as well. Take a good look at it, I doubt you’ll face any difficulties at the conference in Tokyo.”
“I will check it.”
Wonwoo nods. He’s a man of few words. You secretly think he does it on purpose, to remain more mysterious, to leave you craving for his voice. 
“How many days will we be away?”
“One. We’ll be back the next day in the evening. The conference is going to take up your whole day, but you’ll have some time to yourself, if you want.”
“I’ve been to Tokyo before, so I don’t particularly want to sightsee. I’ll treat it as a paid vacation,” you smile, before standing up. “Is there anything else you want to talk about, Sir?”
He doesn’t smile. “Sit,” there’s a pause, and your breath hitches, “please. I also want to talk about your new project. There’s been plenty of talk about the deal with the Spanish, but I want to ensure that it’s a safe source.”
His obsidian eyes burn into you as you sit down again. You couldn’t really deny him when he asked so nicely, could you?
_
If you thought spending all those days in a glass cabin ten metres away from Wonwoo’s office was torture, the trip is absolute hell, with no chance for redemption. This is the first time you’re on the company jet, thanks to Wonwoo. There’s no one else on this trip, except Wonwoo’s secretary, Jeong Yunho, a scarily efficient man who’s been with Wonwoo since before his transfer to your branch. Wonwoo and Yunho seem busy discussing something about the conference, so you stick to your laptop, avoiding eye contact with the man in question. But soon, Yunho leaves the compartment (room? segment?) where you two are sitting (you realise there must be seats beyond the curtain too). 
And then it’s just Wonwoo and you. You keep your eyes on your laptop, although he’s sitting diagonally opposite to you, but oh, the only thing on your mind is him. The way his jaw tightens as he reads something on his tablet. The way his blue trousers fit him like second skin, stretching the right way near his thighs. The way his form-fitted blazer must be custom-tailored because there’s no way a commercially sold blazer would match the proportions of those shoulders and that slim waist. 
Oh, how you envy his boyfriend.
“See something interesting, Miss Y/L/N?” 
Your mouth goes dry when you realise you’ve been staring at him through your side glance, and Wonwoo has caught you in it, without even lifting his eyes once. 
“No, I- I was wondering if you’d taken a look at the other companies interested in this conference.”
He still doesn’t look up. His voice is a dry, lazy drawl, but so sharp it cuts through your skin. “Did you? Was there anything you observed?”
“I did. In fact, I’ve also mailed you a report on them. They’re mainly tech giants spread across the world, looking to expand their investment in the AI market, like us. But they’re also top companies in their respective countries, so I’m a little concerned whether our offer will be enough to secure this deal. I understand that the other potential deals will also be substantial, although the chance of a big difference isn’t much considering the current global recession. There’s been few companies who have picked up pace with as much speed after the pandemic as ours, and I think that’s where our edge lies. But at the same time, I thought it best to warn you that the deal will not be easy. It will be a long, competitive negotiation.”
Wonwoo does look up now. 
“I see you’ve done your research well, Miss Y/L/N. Do send me a portfolio of the other potential investors you’ve found.”
“Noted, will do so.”
“Good girl.”
And then he goes back to whatever he was reading on his phone, leaving your lungs sans air, and your heart racing. You surely didn’t imagine that- and if you hadn’t known better, you’d think he was encouraging the way you were reacting to him. Did he get off on that kind of thing? Knowing he had his employee squirming for him, begging for his attention? 
You excuse yourself to the washroom to take a moment to recuperate. It felt embarrassing and exhilarating at the same time- a feeling you’d never felt yourself, but also a dangerous, forbidden zone of life you’d never explored. Is this how all the men you fucked and didn’t call back feel like when they asked you out on dates? Is this how your sister had felt like when she’d run away from home to marry her professor? Is this how Mingyu felt for his boyfriend?
God, no. This was not happening to you- your mindset, your work spirit, your concentration was not going to be ruined because of one man. You were not, are not that weak. He’s just a man, you tell yourself. At the end of the day, he thinks with his dick. Even if he may not be cishet, he’s probably an enabler or a silent acceptor to sexism and everything you’d fought your entire life for, because how could he have survived in the corporate world for so long?
You wash your face. 
That is it. This is the end to your ‘crush’ or infatuation or whatever the fuck this has been. It’s just hormones, it’s just attraction. Nothing fatal, nothing rare. You know well enough that Jeon Wonwoo has got every female employee in the company swooning after him, so there’s no need for you to think his attention is unique to you. So even if your body may be weak to his charms, your mind is stronger. 
You’re going to fake it till you make it.
_
Your confidence stays pretty much intact throughout the conference, especially when you put on your femme fatale face the moment you set your foot in Tokyo. It’s a city that really calls to you- with its modernity settled neatly in its heritage, nature and nightlife, it’s one of the cities in the world that you really admire. And you feel like you’ve come home, because the city truly is made for you. Fast-paced and unstoppable. 
And so, you take your mind off Wonwoo and focus only on your work. You ignore the way he insists you sit next to him through the conference, you ignore his hot, raspy whispers in your ears whenever he wants to tell you something, you ignore the way his eyes never leave your figure even during lunch when you’re free to mingle with everyone, you ignore the way he’s booked connected rooms for the two of you at the hotel. You ignore the way he’s the first to applaud when your presentation at the conference is complete, you ignore the way he insists on introducing you to every big shot at the dinner party after the conference, you ignore the way he doesn’t leave your side through the night. 
And in spite of your astute ignoring, you know you’re fucking lying to yourself. And even if you can hide your heart to the world, you can’t hide it to yourself. You cannot ignore the way your panties are just a tad bit sticky by the end of the night, you cannot ignore the way his smell lingers on your skin because you’ve spent the entire day beside him, you cannot ignore the way your body is running on overdrive and you absolutely need to cool yourself down. Your shower is not enough, so you head down to the swimming pool, with a bloody mary in your hands and lounge near the shallow end of the swimming pool in your skimpiest shorts and tank top because you didn’t bring a bikini. 
Your eyes are shut, your head leaning against the metal rails near the pool, so you don’t notice how the other guests at the swimming pool dissipate and you’re lying there as it gets later in the night. 
When you open your eyes again, feeling calmer after spending an hour in the water, Wonwoo stands in front you. He’s changed from his three-piece suit to a casual tank top and sweatpants tied low at his hips, a beanie over his hair, and for the first time, you have a clear view of his collarbones and the way his arms and chest are undulated with muscles. 
Is this appropriate boss-employee interaction?
There’s no time to wonder, because Wonwoo sits down on a chair behind him, his eyes still on you. 
“Relaxing after that long day?”
Oh, he’s really here to make conversation with you, is he?
“If I’m staying in a seven-star property, might as well treat it like a vacation.” You smirk. This is your third cocktail of the night, so you’re feeling slightly heady. It doesn’t help that the cold night is making your nipples pebble over the water. 
“You did so well today. Did not disappoint,” Wonwoo hums as his eyes rake over your figure. You gently sip down the rest of the cocktail, before placing it on the side and floating over closer to him. “Really? You think so?” “So good. Everyone was so impressed. Someone even asked me if you were looking to shift jobs somewhere else.” You smile. “Did they, now? What did you say?” You know this is tipping away from your professional relationship, the way you’re swinging your hips as you get up from the pool. It’s definitely a violation of professionalism, when you walk right up to him, ignoring the water droplets dripping behind you, and bend almost over him to retrieve a towel from a stack behind him. There’s a warm current of passion running through your veins when you see the way his tongue sticks out slightly to lick his lips as he unabashedly checks your figure out as your thin clothes cling to your body. When you finally wrap the towel around your body to soak up the drip, he replies, “Why? Are you looking to shift away? Is our company not enough?” “I don’t know, sometimes it can get boring.” You harden yourself to not whimper at the way his gaze pins you, forbids you from moving. There’s a long pause, before he stands up and replies, “Then, as your boss, it’s my responsibility to ensure you stay. Make sure there’s enough spice in your job to keep up your interest. Wouldn’t want to lose my best girl a month into the job, would I?” 
Fuck. He’s got you. Your heart skips a beat as you think of a quip to reply with, but you can’t. My best girl. Fuck, fuck, fuck. 
He smirks when you don’t respond, you jaw slightly agape. 
“Goodnight, Miss Y/L/N. Don’t sleep in till late. We have a meeting at 8.”
_
Because you have some time until your company’s jet is scheduled to depart, so you’re roaming through the duty-free stores. You’re walking out of a chocolate store when you notice Mingyu’s life-sized poster, modelling for Calvin Klein. You smile and grab your phone to take a quick photo, before admiring the advertisement. It must be a recent shoot, because his hair is cropped short like you noticed when he last came over. His muscles look well defined in the photograph, where he’s posing shirtless with a single black tie tied loosely to his neck, and black jeans hung low on his lips. There’s a wildly sensual look in his eyes, as if begging to be taken as you pleased, and it makes you smirk. Now you have something more to tease him for, when you meet him the next time. 
“Pretty, isn’t he?” You haven’t realised when Wonwoo’s sidled up to your side, and you notice a Bulgari bag in his hands. So that’s where he’s been shopping while you were busy browsing through chocolates. Wonwoo’s eyes are fixed on the poster in front of you, an appreciative glint in his eyes. 
“Pretty indeed. For as long as I remember him.” 
Wonwoo turns to look at you, his eyebrow raised. “Are you a fan? Or a friend?” “The latter. Mingyu and I have been friends since high school.” “How interesting.” Eager to impress him, you elaborate, “I was the one who pushed him to get into modelling. Couldn’t have let looks like that slip, could I?” Wonwoo chuckles. “Indeed not. I’m sure many must thank you, including myself.” 
Wonwoo takes out a small box from the bag he’s carrying. Opening the box, you see there’s a bracelet inside. Set with at least sixty 24k diamonds. It makes your mouth water and your eyes shine, and you cannot help but envy his boyfriend, if he’s the one on the receiving end of such gifts. “What do you think?
You wonder if it’s too personal a question, but you’re also sure a lot of lines between professional and personal have gotten blurred over this trip. So you bravely ask him, “Is that for your boyfriend?” 
Wonwoo doesn’t show any sign of displeasure, if he feels it. His eyes still focused on Mingyu’s poster on the glowing display in front of you, he says, “Hmm. Do you think it’ll suit him?” 
Your throat goes dry. If he’s bought it for his boyfriend, why are his eyes fixed on Mingyu? But you don’t think about it. Mingyu’s looks are, after all, captivating. 
“I’m sure it will. He’s very lucky to be receiving such a pretty gift. He must be really precious to you.” You laugh lightly, trying to hide the bile of jealousy rising in your throat. 
Wonwoo puts away the gift. “He is, indeed.” His eyes now shift to yours. “Any favourite of mine is bound to be the most precious to me. And worthy of the prettiest of gifts, whatever they want.” 
You fight the blush creeping into your cheeks, trying to stop your heart from racing on. This is ridiculous. Why on earth are you getting into your feels when he’s clearly thinking and talking about his lover? God, Y/N, get a grip on yourself. He’s not yours, and by the look of love and yearning on his face, he never will be. 
It’s his voice that breaks you out of your trance. “Miss Y/L/N? The jet’s arrived. Don’t wanna miss it, do we?” You can’t help but nod dumbly and walk behind him to keep pace.
_
(iii)
After the trip, everything goes back to what it was earlier. To the outsider, that is. But you know that behind closed doors, so much has changed. It doesn’t have to be something tangible, but there’s something different in the way you’re behaving around each other. For one, you notice him checking you out more than once, and the fact that you’re catching him in the act means that he intends to be caught. He’s more reckless in the way he talks to you. More reckless in the way he picks you out to lead projects, asks you exclusively to accompany him to conferences and clients he’s meeting, wishing you good morning by looking you straight in the eye even when all eyes in the office are on him. 
But then the rumours begin. Favouritism. Must be sucking his cock under his desk. 
And it kills you. It poisons any joy you could enjoy under his attention. You’ve made it a point to not just avoid, but also fight against any such rumours about you, because you don’t want anyone else to get credit for your hard work and success, especially not a man. But you don’t want to confront him about this. For the first time, you know these rumours are absolutely false, because you know he couldn’t have any bad intentions towards you- a man who’s so loud and proud about having a boyfriend and has never even had a rumour with any woman before this, could not be looking for sexual favours. So you quietly keep your distance from him. Trying to finish work over emails instead of meeting him in his office. Trying to avoid eye contact and sit at least half the table away from him during meetings. You don’t want to embarrass him with these rumours, and you certainly hope the rumours haven’t reached his ears. 
“I’m sorry, Mr. Jeon, I won't be able to accompany you to this meeting with the Chois. I’m not feeling well tonight, and I really would like to go home and rest.” You keep a straight face when he comes to your cabin asking you if you’re ready to leave with him. His back is towards the rest of the office, so he misses the way everyone looks up from their work to look at the two of you.
“Unwell? You should’ve told me earlier. I would have cancelled the dinner meeting tonight.”
“No, of course you don’t need to do that on my account, Sir!”
He shakes his head, one gelled lock of hair falling into his eyes. “How do you travel home?”
“I have my car.”
“And a chauffeur, I hope?”
“No, I drive myself.”
“Well, then Yunho’s going to drive you home tonight. You’re in no a state to drive home yourself if you’re feeling unwell.”
Your eyes widen, “No- I don’t want to impose. How are you going to go to the meeting, then? You’ll need Yunho with you.”
He narrows his eyes, his gaze piercing. “You underestimate me. I do not need anybody for a meeting with a client. Especially not a secretary.”
You maintain his gaze. “But I don’t want to inconvenience you on my behalf.”
“I will be more inconvenienced if I worry about you going home alone in this state.”
God. Who’s gonna tell the man that you’re in the fucking pink of your health and you don’t need him to fuss over you like this? Maybe you should’ve just gone with him to the dinner, because this is going to create more fodder for rumours. But you can’t argue any more with him, he’s too stubborn. 
“Alright. If that’s what you want.”
His lips tilt upward at the edge. “Good. Take tomorrow off too.”
“No-”
“That was not a suggestion, Miss Y/L/N. Don’t disobey me.”
And then he turns around and walks out of your cabin, leaving you speechless, and at least ten pairs of eyes staring at you. You can only hope the thin glass walls of your cabin prevented the conversation from floating out.
_
You must really be married to your work, because one day off and you’re fucking losing it. You realise, as you wake up at six in the morning, like any other work day, that you’ve not taken a single day off this year. The last time you took leave was last year when you’d visited your parents. You can’t even fall asleep again, which is awful because you slept fitfully last night. Because of him. He invaded your dreams, leaving you sweaty under the blanket, and an uncomfortable wetness between your thighs. But you still get out of your bed, intent on making it through the day, and not becoming unproductive. 
All your work is completed within the next three hours, so by the time people your age are actually waking up on a holiday, you’re sitting on your sofa feeling listless because you have nothing to do. There’s no new books you need to read, no new recipe you want to try out. You don’t really watch movies or dramas. You ask Spotify to play a random song for you, but it turns out to be a sex song trending right now. The moans in the background of the track don’t help. The lyrics about someone older clutching your throat while taking you to heaven also don’t help. You turn off the song immediately, and again fall back on your couch, debating whether you should go out for a jog in this cooler weather, when your phone dings. 
It’s a photo from Mingyu. When you open it, you burst out laughing at the caption. It’s just a picture of him eating a cupcake, but the caption says I feel like I might die if I eat this. Seemingly normal to anyone else, it’s incredibly funny to you because it’s a red velvet cupcake. And you both swore on red velvet cupcakes back in high school that you’d be best friends forever. 
You type back, You’re still my best friend.
You can see that he’s started typing, but then he stops. A second later, your phone rings. 
“People don’t go MIA on their best friends for weeks. I would not know even if you lay murdered in your apartment. In fact, no one would know. Not even your family or the police.”
“Well, I haven’t been murdered in my apartment. I’ll ask the murderer to let you know if they do murder me.”
He groans. “Don’t mess with me. Why are you checking messages and answering calls so early in the morning?”
“You have a problem with me checking your texts too?” You giggle.
“No, Y/N, I’m just- I don’t know, worried. Did you resign because of your boss?”
“God I could, actually. He forced me to take a leave today because I told him I was sick last night to avoid going on a meeting with him.”
“You lied to him and got a leave? That’s a win in my books, love.” He cackles, and you wish you could laugh with him.  
“Not if it fuels rumours of favouritism, Gyu.”
He sighs. “Oh fuck. Not that shit again. But, really, are you well?”
“No. I’m just horny and mad, both because of Wonwoo.”
“Do you want to rant?”
“I could do with a ranting session. But are you free?”
“I am, the entire day. I could come over. And you could sit on my face and rant. How does that sound?”
You giggle as a spike of arousal shoots through you. “Sounds like my best friend.”
_
Mingyu arrives half an hour later, a little bit of stubble on his jawline. As soon as he steps into your apartment, you pull him to yourself, grabbing his collar, and he smiles against your lips as you press a kiss against his jaw, eager to feel the stubble against your lips. “God, you’re really horny, hmm? Did you touch yourself while I was coming?” He flips you and pins you against the wall, his hands straying down to your breasts as he finds your nipple already hardened. “I did, what took you so long?” “Didn’t know office traffic is so bad. I don’t get out of my house this early, you know?” You hum against his lips, his warm cherry lips which taste like iced americano and the red velvet cupcake he had earlier. “Let’s get you back to bed then, baby.” He pulls away and giggles, “You’re so impatient, Y/N.” But he follows you to the bedroom, as you tug him away. On the way he pulls off your top and shorts, and he lies down first in your bed. “C’mere. Give me a taste of that red velvet, baby.” 
Oh, he looks good. Your mind goes back to the first time the two of you had fucked, back in your college dorms. You’d been so heartbroken that day- your crush had turned you down after one date because he’d wanted to have sex, but when you’d told him you were a virgin, he’d laughed at you and left you midway through the date. But Mingyu, forever your cheerleader, had shown you that you’d fallen for the wrong guy. When he’d gone down on you, giving you your life’s first orgasm using his tongue, you’d seen stars. You deserve the best, Y/N-ie. He’d left you speechless when he’d begun thrusting inside you, nothing on your mind except him and just how perfect he was, and how you were such a fool to not have realised it before. I love you, Mingyu. He’d smiled, the post-nut glow on his golden face, I love you too, Y/N.
But you were late. Mingyu started dating someone else within a week. And you’d suppressed your feelings forever, as you realised they were not mutual. You were better off as best friends, even better as best friends with benefits. You didn’t want to lose him. 
Those feelings right in your throat again, right now, as he pulls you on top of him and kisses you gently. You’re moaning his name as he pulls you on your face in one go, kissing your thighs, his breath heavy on your core where he’s purposely not touching, leaving you whiny. But you’ve had enough of his teasing, so you tug his hair and pull him towards your bare pussy. 
He dives in headfirst, and you grab the headboard as a scream escapes your throat. His tongue laps up your juices, and you see the way he sniffs your pussy, making you clench as his tongue enters you gently. “God, you’re such a tease, baby. Making me forget what I wanted to say.” You tug harder at his hair as he licks faster, and you grind down on his nose. He alternates between flattening his tongue at your clit and using his tongue to thrust into your cunt, already loose from your arousal. But his technique is top notch- just the way it was back in college, when twenty-year old nerdy you had lost your virginity to him. And you climax within a few minutes, your essence coating his smooth face, making his skin shine. 
When you look down at him, his eyes fixed on you, he places a soft kiss on your folds, before whispering, “I thought you wanted to rant.” 
You push yourself down on him, waiting for him to continue eating you out, but he moves his lips away. Clearly he wants you to start talking before he restarts. So you do start. 
“Do you know I went on a trip with my boss?”
“Mmhm? Did not know that. What happened?” You forget your words for a second as Mingyu’s raspy voice sends shocks through your body. You have a wild urge to tug his face away from your cunt just to punish him, but you can’t help but give in to him. 
“He…”
_
“Do you want to go out tonight?”
“Tonight?” You’re opening your mouth less because your jaw still hurts from how wide it stretched to deepthroat Mingyu’s cock earlier. You’d forgotten how much of a monster it was, but it was nice to be reminded again. Especially when he came all over your tits and licked it all off you, turning you on again because of how he eagerly nipped at your nipples. But you’re too sore to get up now, so you’re both casually lying across each other as you surf through work emails on your phone and Mingyu watches something on YouTube. 
“Yes?” He props his head up on his elbow and looks down at you. 
“Tonight?”
“You heard me the first time.”
“I did, but I’m buying time to make up an excuse against it.”
He laughs and kisses you on the corner of your mouth. 
“If you don’t want to come out, then you can just tell me.”
“But I should be wanting to go out. I am free all day today, and it should be technically fun. Help me get my mind farther away from Wonwoo if I can snag a date.”
“Hell no. You’ll be my date. Think I’ll let another man flirt with you when I’m taking you out?”
You take a deep breath before looking away from your phone and looking up at him. You notice how pretty his red lips look, and how much you want to kiss him. How hard it is right now to remember that he has a boyfriend, and all this- whatever fragments of intimacy you get- is because his boyfriend is miraculously accepting of Mingyu fucking you and then going back to him. You’d never understand it, even though Mingyu’s said multiple times that it’s totally fine, but you won’t judge him for it. You take what you get and you won’t complain. 
So you take one hand and cup Mingyu’s jaw to pull him down. 
“Let’s go out this weekend, then? I need at least one business day to mentally prepare myself.” 
He kisses you as your breath mingles with his. “Whatever you want, baby.”
_
(iv)
You step out of the elevator dangling your car keys on your fingers when you notice a strangely familiar car pulled up in front of your own smaller car. The window rolls down.
“Mr. Jeon?” Your mouth gapes in shock, when the man gives you that characteristic smirk of his, which is reflected more in his eyes than in his lips. “Good morning. Are you sure you’re well enough to be attending work today? I’m okay with you taking another day off.” Your eyes widen, as you wonder for a second if he’s caught your lie, but then you quickly regain composure. “No Sir, I’m feeling perfectly fit. I’ll drive myself, so there was no need for you to come all the way here-” “No, no. Yunho will drive us to work.” 
He steps out of his seat, opening the door for you to enter the car. When you hesitantly take a step forward and are on the verge of entering the car, he says, his voice an octave lower, “You are of top priority, do you not realise, Miss Y/L/N?” With the way his gaze is trained on you, and with him coming all the way to your doorstep for no reason at all, you do somewhat realise now. But why he’s doing it is going all over your head. So you wordlessly enter the car’s backseat, and he joins you from the other side. 
The journey is spent in silence, but you can feel the way his eyes flicker to glance at you through the back view mirror. The company car is comfortable in every way possible, and Yunho is a great driver, but you still can’t breathe through the entire journey because you’re on your toes. You quietly regret wearing a pencil skirt with a slit reaching up to your knees, because as you sit in the car, the slit rides up to your thighs and you have goosebumps all over. You can just hope that Wonwoo doesn’t notice. 
The two of you entering the office together doesn’t do anything to reduce the rumours. There are even more eyes staring at the two of you now, but you realise it’s a futile effort to try and quash the rumours. People will gossip if they want to, even if there’s no grounds for their gossip. So you let Wonwoo walk you down to your cabin, and before leaving he tells you to check your schedule. “I will, Sir. Have any changes been made? I have just one video conference today in the evening as far-” “Yes, you’ll be accompanying me to lunch today. There’s a follow-up meeting with the Chois, so I want you to be there.” And then he doesn’t wait for you to reply before he struts out of your cabin.
Wow. Lunch too. Now you really can’t stop the rumours.
_
Thankfully, lunch is a solemn affair. You’re too busy looking at figures and prospective business plans for the success of your collaboration with the Chois to question why Wonwoo insists you sit as far away from Choi Seungcheol, the CEO of Choi Enterprises, as possible. So you end up sitting next to him, and there’s nobody else at the table except Yunho and Mr. Choi’s assistant. As the food gets served, you get started with the short presentation you prepared on your way to the lunch meeting, but Wonwoo quickly places a hand on your exposed thigh and stops you from speaking. “Let’s enjoy the lunch first, shall we? Seungcheol doesn’t need to be convinced any more, Miss Y/L/N.” Your lip twists when you wonder why Mr. Jeon is on first name basis with Mr. Choi, but Seungcheol quickly tells you the reason. “We’re old friends, Miss Y/L/N. We’re not here to discuss business, are we, Wonwoo? We’re just here to enjoy a meal at our favourite restaurant.” Wonwoo chuckles, and you open your mouth to say something, but his hand on your thigh squeezes once before moving away, as he whispers slowly in your ear, “Relax for a minute, Miss Y/L/N. You don’t have to always work your pretty brain all the time. Just enjoy the meal.”
To say that you’re stunned is an understatement. You don’t understand what’s going on, but there’s an unspoken conversation happening between Wonwoo and Seungcheol, and you don’t end up talking about work throughout the meal. Seungcheol is good enough to make you feel at ease as he asks questions as far away from work as possible. But nothing today seems to be going as expected- starting from the way Wonwoo came to pick you up, to the way his hand touches your exposed thigh more often than necessary. You eventually let it go- not questioning it, but just enjoying the attention, and the lasagna because when else will you eat at such a fine dining restaurant any time soon?
_
Thankfully, the rest of the day and the next passes by in a better fashion, without any unexpected incidents. It’s late on Saturday evening when you’re just finishing your workout at the gym near your apartment that you get a text from Mingyu. Coming to pick you up in an hour. Hope you’re ready to let loose tonight <3 
Fuck, you’d forgotten about your plan about going out with Mingyu. For a minute or two, you debate the pros and cons of cancelling the plan last-minute. But then Mingyu’s whiny, puppy voice flashes in your head as you remember that in the last few months, you’ve cancelled more plans than him, and you’ve only gone out for once in every two months. Fuck it. You deserve to let loose too. You deserve to give a break to your heart and your mind. And you deserve another evening of pure fun with your best friend.
So by the time Mingyu arrives, you’re dressed in a black silk bralette paired with high waist black jeans- the most casual outfit that exists in your wardrobe right now. You tie your hair up, exposing your neck, and wear a simple necklace to finish the look. 
“Damn girl. Did I tell you that you look hot?” Mingyu’s whisper is hot near your ears when he comes to hug you, and you giggle. “You’ve cleaned up well yourself.” That is sarcastic, and he knows it, because the smug look on his face says it all.
When the two of you enter the club, Mingyu’s arm is in yours, and you can see how people perceive the two of you as a couple, wearing matching all-black outfits. You don’t care, wishing to live your fantasy for a moment, and wondering what it really would be like to be Mingyu’s lover. To have him to yourself all the time, without sharing him with a boyfriend you’ve never met, and you probably don’t want to meet. To show him off to all the people in your office who straight up ask you why you don’t date even if you’re not getting any younger. To hold him close all night, his warmth acting like your personal weighted blanket, and not feel the ache in your chest every time he leaves in the morning.
As the first round of shots go down your throat, you head to the dance floor, Mingyu’s hands wrapped around your hips and you two move on your own beat. There are people around you who recognise Mingyu, but he doesn’t even look at them. His eyes are all focused on yours, so you maintain his gaze. Getting lost in his eyes, you want to lean in and kiss him. But it would be inappropriate. It’s one thing to sleep with your best friend in the privacy of your apartment, another thing to kiss him publicly when he has a boyfriend. So you just smile hazily as you stare at him to your heart’s content. If you’re just his dirty little secret, you’ll take it. Mingyu has more than enough love in his heart for you and whoever his mysterious boyfriend might be. You’re satisfied with just a place in his huge, beautiful heart. 
You’re really getting into your feels now, as the songs change to more upbeat songs which you like dancing to. Right then, Mingyu bends down and whispers near your ears, to ensure you hear him. “Y/N-ie? I want you to meet someone.” You look up towards his face, mouthing a silent who, before he whispers again, “Turn around, love.” 
And you do. 
At first, you’re sure it’s an illusion of the flashing lights of the nightclub, increased by the effect of the alcohol running through your veins. But then Mingyu’s voice is again breathy near your ear, “Meet my boyfriend, Jeon Wonwoo.”
Time stops around you.
_
(v)
When you come back to your senses, you’ve somehow moved to one corner against the bar, far away from the din of the dance floor.
The man in front of you smiles, a dazzling, beautiful smile you’ve never seen before, and your head reels. You fall back into Mingyu’s arms, who swiftly catches and steadies you. You can’t believe the sight in front of you. You emit a loud gasp as Mingyu’s touch makes you realise this is, in fact, reality. “Your boyfriend?”
“Hi, sweetheart.” Wonwoo’s voice is unbearably deep, and he’s so close that you can hear him even in the noise of the club. But you still can’t register his presence, so you reach behind to grab onto Mingyu’s hands. “Gyu? Mingyu- is this a joke?” But the man you’re talking to merely giggles and lowers his face near your neck, so that you can feel his cheeks against yours. 
“Mr. Jeon-” Wonwoo takes another step forward, trapping you in between the two men. “Wonwoo, please.” “Oh. Wonwoo- I- I’m sorry-” He smiles, and Mingyu giggles again against you. “Sorry? For what? God, she’s cuter than what you told me, Mingyu.” His eyes flicker to the man behind you before falling to you again. “Mingyu also told me that you have a lot to complain about me?” “No! No, I didn’t mean any of that? Mingyu!” It must look pathetic, how you’re leaning back towards Mingyu and grabbing to his hands from behind you, because you want him to be on your side. But Mingyu indulges you, as he says, “I’m here, baby, I’m here.”
But it’s clearly not enough, so you turn around to see him. “Is this real?” Mingyu’s smile is bright, “Yes, Y/N-ie.” “Why didn’t tell me before?” “What’s the fun in that?” 
It really sinks in for you now. You turn back around, to see Wonwoo still standing there, the gentle smile still on his face. He lifts his hand to touch your hair, then your cheeks and finally cups your jaw. “Do you want to get out of here, Y/N?” God, he even makes your name sound pretty. “Let’s go somewhere where we can talk more, hmm?” You nod your head, “Yes, please.” 
_
That’s how you end up in Mingyu’s car, his long red sedan, which he’s currently racing off the streets of the city, the night air making you sober as you reach Wonwoo’s place, where Mingyu has moved in, as you learn. Through the journey, Wonwoo and Mingyu hold hands over the console, and somehow pieces connect in your more sober mind. Fuck, how did you never consider this possibility before? Bits and pieces from what Mingyu had told you comes back to you now. The boyfriend was initially a sugar daddy sort of thing because he didn’t live in the city- he would come around in between work schedules and pamper and spoil Mingyu for entire weekends or longer, during which Mingyu would not even check his texts. You’d thought it must have been some celebrity guy, if he’s so busy with schedules and so rich. But you were wrong. So, so wrong. Mingyu had officially started dating this boyfriend six months ago, coinciding with exactly when Wonwoo had moved back to the city permanently. 
“What are you thinking in your pretty head?” Wonwoo looks at you through the back mirror as Mingyu’s pulling up near Wonwoo’s home. 
“This still feels unreal. Why didn’t you tell me before, Mingyu? God, I can’t believe I said all that to you.” 
Mingyu laughs, but doesn’t respond. It’s only when you three enter the house and get seated on the couch, you in between the two boys, that he starts talking. “What do you want to know, Y/N? Right from the beginning?” 
“No, I get the beginning. I pieced it together in my head.” Somewhere from behind you Wonwoo chuckles, and mumbles smart girl. But you don’t dare to look at him, trying to ground yourself in reality. So you stay turned towards Mingyu. “Did you know he’s my boss even before I told you?” 
“I did. After Wonwoo and I got together, I told him all about you. I showed him your photos, told him you’re my best friend, told him we also sleep together sometimes.” 
“And you were okay with that?” You finally develop some courage to look into Wonwoo’s eyes, his beautiful black eyes that are so much sexier up close. 
“Of course I was. How could I not be, when you made my baby boy so happy? You and I both know that Mingyu has too much love to give, so I knew that him loving you wouldn’t take him away from me.” 
“Lo-loving me?” Your voice is feeble, and you look back at Mingyu. Your eyes drift to his cherry lips before looking back at him, and he smiles, his canines out on display. “I do love you, Y/N, you know that, right? I’ve meant it every single time I’ve said it.” “But as a friend…?” “That’s only because I didn’t want to lose you by confessing. And also because I had no idea how I was falling for two people at the same time. You and Wonwoo.” Your eyes drift to his lips again as you sigh. It’s so strange, how conflicted your heart had been just earlier this evening, but now your body is radiating with a slow-flowing joy. Noticing your gaze, Mingyu leans in and gently kisses you on your mouth, a chaste, soft kiss, but it’s sweet like nectar. “You want me? Mingyu?” “So much, Y/N-ie. And Wonwoo wants you too, you know.” 
You finally turn around to look at the other man beside you, his patient smile beautiful. “Did Mingyu tell you everything?” He grins, “Yes, everything.” You close your eyes in embarrassment, but Wonwoo’s hands gently cup your cheeks, holding your face in his hands, upturned towards him. “How could he not? I pried every little detail from him.” “Was this the reason why you took the job at our branch?” “Yes. I came to the posting at the headquarters for Mingyu, but I shifted for you. Because I fell for you too whenever Mingyu described you to me. And after meeting you that first time at that meeting at the headquarters, I knew it was a lost case. My heart was yours before you even saw me.” “Oh, I saw you alright. You looked so handsome that day.” You can feel your cheeks heating up in a blush, and Mingyu coos at you from behind. His body somehow moves closer, trapping you between the two boys, and you feel hot with the attention from the both of them. Mingyu’s hands weave through your hair, untangling your hair at the scalp, making you almost purr with pleasure, but you don’t move your eyes from Wonwoo’s face. 
“I want you so much, Y/N. I have wanted you for so long.” Wonwoo pauses and then chuckles, “Mingyu’s wanted to tell you for so long. But I wanted to wait, because I wasn’t sure of how you felt towards me. I’m still not sure… are you still mad at me?” You giggle, even more embarrassed by the second. “I could never be mad at you, Wonwoo.” “I genuinely, really wanted to take care of you, you know. Just take care of you.” Wonwoo’s smile is so gentle, so mature, and so warm. This is a new side of him that you’re seeing, and you realise you’re falling for him even more. “Wonwoo… you know my feelings already.” “But I want you to tell me, please. I need to know that it is the truth.” You pause for a moment, eyes taking in all the beauty of Wonwoo’s features. “I do want you. I want you so much I think I’m losing my mind over it.” 
And that’s all the confirmation it takes. Wonwoo leans down, his grip tightening on your jaw, as he kisses you with all the affection he has. You can’t help it but melt into his mouth, and the kiss deepens. You’ve been so curious for so long to find out what touching Wonwoo would feel like, so when he explores your mouth with the intense kisses, you roam your hands all over his body. Feeling the hair near his nape, the skin along his collarbones, his biceps under his button down shirt, his sculpted back that feels so broad to you. From behind you, you can feel Mingyu’s hands wandering around your body, near your hips, the skin exposed at your stomach below the bralette, inching towards the bottom of your breasts. You shiver at all of the contact, all of the attention. 
It’s only when Wonwoo breaks the kiss and you see Mingyu kneeling down on the carpet next to you, both the men facing you, that you realise that you want them both. So bad. 
“Do you want us both, Y/N?”
“Yes,” Your voice comes out in a rushed squeak because you’re breathless. “Yes, but… can we take this to your bedroom?”
No more words are needed. Mingyu immediately lifts you up in his arms, and you latch your legs around his waist, as he begins to feverishly kiss you as Wonwoo leads the two of you to his bedroom. You’re dropped gently on the bed and Mingyu gets in right next to you. Mingyu makes quick work of taking off his clothes, and Wonwoo stands in front of you, at the edge of the bed, cupping your face with his hands again. “Are you sure?” You nod. “Never been more sure of anything in my damn life.”
Wonwoo bends down to kiss you again. But this time, the kiss is no longer sweet, or exploratory. It’s the kiss of a hungry man eager to devour what is his. He doesn’t let you do anything in the kiss, except match his tempo, and it’s shocking how easily you’re letting in to him. It helps that Mingyu’s also kissing your neck, making you arch your back into him as you lean your neck to give him more area to kiss. Mingyu’s big hands grope at your bralette, and Wonwoo breaks the kiss to let him tug it off. Finding that you’re wearing nothing below it, Wonwoo curses and kisses you again, hard, pushing you on Mingyu’s big body which is all muscles now that the clothes are off. Mingyu’s hands come from behind to fondle your breasts, moaning low in your ears as you wriggle between his spread legs on your either side. You feverishly grip onto Wonwoo’s hips, who’s still standing, and his hands weave into your hair.
“My turn,” Mingyu whispers before attempting to lift you away from Wonwoo, but the older man swats his hands away. “Baby boys don’t demand. You don’t want to get punished yet, Mingyu-ah.” Your head tilts back on Mingyu’s shoulder as you feel the shiver run through his body at his boyfriend’s words. The crystal black in Wonwoo’s eyes becomes unimaginably darker as Mingyu whimpers in your ears. You reach behind to rub your hands over his thighs, his strong, thick thighs, and you can feel his hard length twitching through his boxers near the small of your back. You arch your back to give more access to your tits to Mingyu, who abuses your nipples by pinching and twisting them recklessly. He really loves your breasts, so you let him play, but you can’t stop yourself from moaning out loud now that Wonwoo can’t muffle you any longer with his kisses. 
Wonwoo takes a step away and takes in the sight in front of him. You can see the way his chest heaves with desperation, but his resolve is unbroken. You can see the way his cock is straining through his jeans, but you know his patience is crazy. He’s not going to break so soon. 
And he doesn’t. A slow smirk spreads over his face when his eyes meet yours. “So pretty, my little sweethearts. Pretty baby, are you having fun? Playing with my doll?” A spike of arousal shoots through you at the pet names, and Mingyu whimpers at being called pretty baby. “So much fun, Sir, I swear.” Your body reacts on its own, as you feel another gush of wetness flow into your panties at the way Mingyu calls Wonwoo sir. Fuck, their dynamic is so hot. “Then take off her pants like a good boy.” Mingyu leans in and you help him to get you out your jeans, leaving in nothing but your soaked panties. They’re white which means your arousal must be so evident through the lace, and Mingyu groans when he sees it. But he doesn’t touch you- he knows better.
Wonwoo grins and coos at you. “So pretty in white.” He leans in to kiss you again, before quickly flipping you over until you’re on your hands and legs. His hands gently grope your ass, making you giddy with his large hands patting your soft skin. But then you hear the sound before you feel the impact. The loud smack, a ghost of a touch on your ass, before it starts burning and it’s only then that you realise he’s spanked you. You’re still processing it, when he smacks the same spot again with incredible precision, and you jolt at the touch. He doesn’t give you time to recover- he keeps smacking the same, sensitive area, and you’re sure the spot of arousal on your panties have spread into a larger spot now and he can see it. Because you’re all but whimpering and screaming in Mingyu’s arms now, who’s ravaging your neck with nips and bites, his fingers still pinching your now sensitive nipples. Your body is hanging on the brink of overstimulation, and you’re so wet you think you can come untouched. 
Wonwoo seems to read your mind, because he says next, “Are you come from this, doll? Just a few spanks?” He smacks your ass again, and you jolt again, but Mingyu’s arms hold you in place. “Should I stop? Or should I make you come untouched like this if you like it so much?” 
You don’t respond. 
You can’t respond. 
Your body shakes uncontrollably as you let go of yourself and give in to the first orgasm of that night. Wonwoo spanks you right through the orgasm, but once your shaking reduces, he gently pulls you up and takes off your panties. From how you’re pulled up against Wonwoo’s standing body, you can see how flustered Mingyu looks, his bulge straining through his boxers, the stain big and drops of sweat falling off his beautiful body. He looks gorgeous like this, and you’re dying to kiss him. Once your panties are off, Wonwoo loosens his grip on you, and you seat yourself on Mingyu’s lap, his legs still spread, and you both moan when your bare pussy comes in contact with the bulge in his boxers. You grind down on the hard length as you capture his lips in a kiss, your fingers leaving impressions on his shoulders with how hard you’re gripping him. He gropes your ass, still sensitive from the spanking, but his touch soothes you. You grind down on him harder, and it’s only when he breaks away from the kiss with a hiss that you realise he’s come in his pants as you feel the wetness from his boxers stick to your own wet cunt. “God, that’s so hot Mingyu.” You praise him, as he looks at you with unfocused, desperate eyes, and you kiss him again. 
But then you feel a weight on the bed behind you, and you turn around to see Wonwoo joining the two of you on the bed. His clothes are off, except his boxers, and you gasp when you see how well-built his body is. He’s much leaner compared to Mingyu but his build is so impressive, and your eyes trail down to where his abdomen gives way to his dick, which is very much visible through his boxers. Your hands immediately reach out to grab his shoulders, which are so wide, but he doesn’t let you touch him, instead grabbing your hair and pulling you into a kiss as you’re seated, trapped between Wonwoo and Mingyu. 
“Did you make my baby boy come without touching him?” He asks you between sloppy kisses, before his lips trail down to bite your neck, while Mingyu’s mouth is focused on your tits now, sucking at the nipples, soothing any abrasion from his pinching earlier. You nod unable to form words with all the attention, and Wonwoo understands as he laughs lowly. “Turns out both my playthings are little sluts for each other. So hot for each other, aren’t you?” Mingyu moans next to you, and you can feel how turned on he is by the dirty talk, as his dick twitches after having just orgasmed a few minutes ago. You grab his head and push his face into your breasts as he laps all over your tits. 
Once Wonwoo’s left hickeys all over your neck, he extends a hand to cup Mingyu’s jaw and lifts the younger boy’s head to look at him. There’s an intense look shared between them- you can see Mingyu’s jaw slacken at the touch, as he bends forward for more attention from his boyfriend, so he gets it. Wonwoo leans in to kiss him, and his hand moves from his jaw to his neck, slightly grasping it and choking it while he sits up on his knees to kiss Mingyu out of breath. Mingyu’s back arches as Wonwoo towers over him, and you move backward, leaning against the headboard, turned on even more at the sight in front of you. 
You’ve never had a threesome, and never imagined you’d be so okay with Mingyu being shared with someone else. He’s always been yours even if just as a friend with benefits. But you find that sharing Mingyu with Wonwoo gives you no problem at all- perhaps it’s because you know they’re already a couple, but also because you can see it in their eyes how much they’re in love with each other. 
You pull your legs towards yourself, and Wonwoo soon pulls Mingyu into his arms, the younger man’s legs spread around Wonwoo’s legs, close enough that their dicks brush against each other through the clothing barriers, making Mingyu whine out loudly and Wonwoo hiss at the contact. They feverishly kiss each other, almost as if you’re not there in the room. But you don’t feel out of place. You feel somewhat like a voyeur, but a welcome one, because soon, Wonwoo makes eye contact with you even while kissing Mingyu and sees the way you’re flicking your own clit. He breaks the kiss, and says, “Y/N- I thought you knew better than to touch yourself without my permission.” He takes your hand in his own, away from your body. “Please,” you whisper, but he shakes his head. Mingyu turns to look at you two, his chest heaving. “She looks so pretty like that, Wonwoo.” Wonwoo’s head turns towards Mingyu, a smirk on his face. “You like it?” “Yes, so much.” “Then I guess I can’t be mad. But-” he breaks himself off, getting out of the bed to open the bedside drawer. “I’ll still have to tie you up.” You notice that he’s brought out a tie and a bottle of lube. He leans in to tie your hands away from you, and a part of you gets embarrassed that Mingyu’s seeing you like this, because you’ve never let him tie you up, because you didn’t know you were into it, you would rather tie him up. But your pussy throbs when your hands are tied behind you, leaving your breasts arched out towards the front, and Wonwoo extends one hand to enter two fingers into your wet pussy as he goes back to position and resumes kissing Mingyu, his other hand holding on to Mingyu’s hips. 
It’s funny to see how quiet Mingyu is with Wonwoo, all pliant and desperate. When he’s with you, he’s running his mouth endlessly, babbling or being a brat, giggling whenever either of you slip up the slightest, and yapping even through the most intense of orgasms. But Wonwoo, no words seem to come out of his mouth. Only moans, pretty moans of varying pitches, whines and whimpers, the occasional grunt and groan, because any word he tries to form gets broken down into nonsensical sounds ending in whimpers. 
Wonwoo removes his hand from your cunt, leaving you high on the impending orgasm, and feeling so, so empty. You almost whine at the loss, but Wonwoo speaks before you, clearly he’s having a moment with his boyfriend so you don’t want to interrupt greedily.
“Did you wear that all evening?” When Mingyu replies in affirmative, a breathy yes, Wonwoo grunts and twists his boyfriend’s nipples before kissing him again. You wonder for a second what that is, but then you twist your body to look at the spot where Wonwoo’s other hand is. 
You find a crystal butt plug sitting snugly between Mingyu’s asscheeks, shining bright against his golden skin, and your pussy clenches at the sight. Wonwoo’s hand touches all around it, clearly teasing, before he pulls away from the kiss and leans over Mingyu to see the butt plug himself. There’s a sudden gasp as Wonwoo lightly slaps over the plug, and then slowly, excruciatingly slowly pulls out the butt plug. “Please, no- no, pl- I- Wo- sir!” Mingyu fumbles over his words as he feels his gaping hole become empty, and Wonwoo sighs at the sight, his bottom lip tugged between his teeth as he controls himself. “Such a whore, Gyu, wearing the prettiest plug in your pretty ass all night for anyone to feel up.” “No! O-only for- for you, sir!” Wonwoo’s fingers easily enter the slender hole and you feel your enter body get hot when you feel his other hand also at your pussy, his thumb flicking your clit. He’s fingering the two of you simultaneously but his face is so focused, so resolute, while the two of you are breaking apart from his touch. 
Wonwoo’s hand soon leaves your pussy and you see him turn around Mingyu with the younger’s back towards him. “Ready?” He whispers in his boyfriend’s ear, biting his earlobe and taking off their boxers. Mingyu’s whining reply comes soon after, “Please, need it inside me, please sir!” Wonwoo chuckles, and he squirts lube into his hand before entering Mingyu’s hole one finger at a time. 
Your eyes are blown wide at the sight before you, as you see Mingyu squirm and whine as Wonwoo enters nearly three fingers at once, pumping slowly. Mingyu can’t help but babble, “Please, I’m ready- so ready, don’t need prep-” “You’re right, whores do not need prep. Your ass was made for me, wasn’t it?” Mingyu whines again, and you move in front of him to kiss his bare chest, licking his nipples softly, and you suddenly feel Mingyu’s body jolt up. 
Wonwoo’s cock has entered him, up to the hilt, all in one go. It’s not easy- seeing that Wonwoo’s cock is long and incredibly erect right now, but Mingyu takes it all in with a scream of his boyfriend’s name. “God, still so tight. Fucking heaven.” Wonwoo sets his own lazy pace, his hands casually gripping Mingyu’s hips. Mingyu’s cock is still so erect, its bulbous head red and sensitive as it leaks all over the bed without any attention given to it. You see Mingyu enter a completely different level of submissiveness, where he doesn’t even want to be a brat and tease back, he gives in completely as his boyfriend fucks him stupid.
“Gyu? How about you eat out this pretty pussy here, hmm? You like it, don’t you?” “Yes, I wanna- please- can I?” Mingyu looks up at you, as if for permission, but you instantly pull his head down towards your wet pussy and he dives right in, his tongue entering you immediately. You and Wonwoo both moan out loud at the sight, and he begins fucking Mingyu faster. He fucks Mingyu into you, and the additional force makes Mingyu suck your clit and make out with your pussy even better. You throw your head back in pleasure, feeling a knot in your stomach building up.
 “I’m going to come all over his face, Wonwoo. Will you let him come with me?” Wonwoo chuckles, “Hold on for a second longer, look at the pathetic way his cock is leaking. He’s going to come untouched again, isn’t he?” Mingyu’s moans buzz into your pussy and your voice becomes desperate. “Please let him come now! I can’t hold it-” And that’s it. You climax right then, your essence covering all of Mingyu’s face, who licks you through the orgasm, and you see him hit his orgasm too, his cock wringing out ropes and ropes of cum as he comes untouched for the second time that night. “You were right, Wonwoo. He really is pathetic. He’s still hard after coming twice untouched.” It’s so hot to talk about Mingyu like he’s not even in the room, and you can see how much he likes it. Almost as if you both can use him as you please for your pleasure only. His big body falls limp on the bed, whining, when Wonwoo suddenly pulls out of him and leans over to kiss you. 
As Mingyu lies down, recovering his breath, Wonwoo tugs you closer to him and kisses you. His mouth is warmer now, the kiss more sloppy, and the scent of Mingyu is not entangled with his own masculine scent, making you heady with pleasure. Wonwoo’s hands soon find your clit as he rubs you hard and fast while making out with you, his other hand gripping your hair to hold you in place as your knees almost buck and collapse under his ministrations. “I’m not done with you yet, doll. Tired already?” He pulls away but you chase him and end up licking all over his jaw. “Not tired. I’ll take whatever you give, Wonwoo.” 
You almost miss Wonwoo’s low grunts when Mingyu whines from beside you, “Me too… Y/N-ie kiss me too.” Identical, indulging, fond smiles burst out on both your and Wonwoo’s faces, and even he can’t come to scold his cute boyfriend. “Attention whore,” Wonwoo’s words don’t sting, they’re filled with a gentle fondness that recplicates the one in your heart, and you both lie on either side of Mingyu to kiss him all over, you make out with him and Wonwoo lavishes his skin with hickeys that will leave marks tomorrow. Mingyu sighs and whimpers in the spotlight, and you notice how his dick chubs up again. Wonwoo notices it too, because he laughs, a mean undertone in his voice, as bends down to kiss the tip of his boyfriend’s thick cock. 
“You’re so pretty all over,” you whisper to Mingyu as you kiss his stomach and eventually take his hardening cock into your mouth, inch-by-inch to avoid gagging on the thick length. Your hands are still tied behind you, so you can’t stroke the rest of the length that doesn’t fit inside your mouth. “Don’t praise him, don’t encourage him to be more of a cockslut,” Wonwoo says, his fingers fondling your breasts as he watches you suck his boyfriend’s cock. Mingyu’s dick spews pre-cum into your mouth with the simultaneous praise and degradation, and you relax your jaws to deepthroat him further. 
“Y/N! You- god, Y/N-ie you’re so good at this, please- Wonwoo, can I fuck her mouth? Please?” Your mouth waters at the idea so you look up at Wonwoo, your tongue still licking at Mingyu’s tip, begging him to let Mingyu fuck his big cock into your mouth, but Wonwoo glares back, looking ready to devour you. You haven’t missed how his cock is still rock-hard, proud and red against his abs, so you move up from Mingyu’s dick and bend down to place kisses on Wonwoo’s tip too. He groans at the contact, cursing under his breath. Then he sits up and flips you around, until you’re on your stomach on the bed, your mouth inches away from Mingyu’s dick, and Wonwoo’s dick pokes at your folds, rubbing himself with the wetness of your pussy. He places a hand on the back of your head and pushes you down on Mingyu’s cock, right as he sinks into your cunt, the whole length inside you at once, and you moan around the cock in your mouth. Your hands still tied behind you, you feel your nipples brushing against the sheets, and all the stimulation is too much to take. 
Your mouth full of cock, you push yourself back towards Wonwoo, to take as much of him as you can, desperate for him to set a faster pace, but you can’t take your mouth off the dick to tell him the same. Thankfully, he seems to read your mind, or rather, his self-restraint breaks, as he snaps his hips faster against you, moaning about how tight you are, so wet, so warm, so sexy and how he’s moulding you to fit his cock, shaping you to fit you, and how he wants to come inside. So you get up from Mingyu’s cock for a second, to say, forming words slowly, “You can, Wonwoo.” His pace stutters, “I can? You sure?” “Yes please. I want it. Want you to fill me up, Mr. Jeon!” 
And that does it for him. He buries himself into you as he comes inside you, his thick cum being pushed further inside as he lazily thrusts you through it. You come seconds later as Mingyu himself comes inside your mouth, and you take it all in, your body eager to please. Mingyu sighs, his face red but the pleasure clearly painted on his features as he flashes you a sated grin. As Wonwoo pulls out of you, he gets off the bed to bring a piece of cloth from his washroom, and you move up to kiss Mingyu, the kiss slow, exhausted, but so warm. You’re smiling against each other’s mouths, the skin-to-skin contact feeling like heaven, and he runs his hands through your hair. When Wonwoo comes and sits next to you, he kisses his boyfriend first, another gentle, warm kiss that makes your heart full. “You did so well, baby.” He tells Mingyu, who gives him another dopey smile, before he turns to you, and kisses you too. “You too, darling.”
Darling. You melt at the pet name, stretching your hand to hug Wonwoo and Mingyu at the same time, the latter snuggling into you, needy after all the sex and Wonwoo chuckles. “Let me clean you up and then you guys cuddle.” “And you?” Mingyu’s voice is small, whiny, and Wonwoo laughs. “I’ll be right back with y’all. I need a shower, okay?” And when he kisses your and Mingyu’s forehead and disappears into the washroom in all his naked glory, you sigh peacefully and snuggle into Mingyu’s chest, the latter placing tiny kisses near your hairline as you both fall asleep. 
_
(vi)
You know, somewhere in the middle of the night, Wonwoo had joined the two of you in that big bed. You’d ended up sandwiched between the two men, your head snuggled in Wonwoo’s chest, as Mingyu spooned you from behind. Safe to say, you did not need a blanket all night. 
Like clockwork, your body wakes up at six am, just as the sun begins shining through the pale blue curtains. Wonwoo is not next to you, but the pillow isn’t cold. You can see Mingyu still snoring away, so you gently detach his legs from where it was tangled with yours all night, and get out of the bed. Your legs are still sore, but you manage to find Mingyu’s t-shirt from last night and slip it on and walk out of the room. 
In the daylight, you can see just how elegant and posh the house is. Unlike your apartment, the walls are done in dark shades of blue, and you think how accurately it reflects Wonwoo’s soul. The furniture is all wood, and you know that the multiple appliances in the kitchen and the dressing room you see are additions from Mingyu’s end. You find Wonwoo standing in the open kitchen, leaning against the counter as he hums softly and sips his coffee. Seeing you, he looks up and a beautiful smile spreads across his face. 
In the daylight, Wonwoo looks different. 
In the daylight, Wonwoo looks attainable. You step closer to him and hug him, your arms finding your way around his slender waist, and he hugs you back, resting his chin atop your head. “Good morning, darling. Can’t sleep even on a Sunday?” You laugh into his shoulder. “Neither can you. There’s a reason why people say we’re dating our work.” “Not me.” He pulls your head away to face him, “I know I’m dating two beautiful people, the most beautiful people in the world, my favourites.” Your heart fills at the fondness in his eyes. 
“Wonwoo, I know we talked last night, but are you s-” “Are you sure? What you say matters the most, baby.” “I am, but you and Mingyu are in an open relationship and all…” “That was another ploy, of course. You think I could share Mingyu with anyone except his pretty little best friend who looks like a dream?” His words make you cringe, and you wonder if anyone ever sees this side of Wonwoo except Mingyu… and now, you. You lean in to kiss his pouty, pink lips, and Wonwoo’s nose scrunches up into an adorable smile. God, that’s the first time you’re seeing this smile. So you kiss him again, eager to get him to react like that again. And he does. The nose scrunch becomes a permanent feature as he kisses you deeper, and you can taste the coffee in his mouth. 
“Do you want coffee?” 
“Yes, please. Should I wake up Mingyu? I don’t want him to feel sad later for missing anything.” You hug Wonwoo one more time before you feel another pair of hands grabbing you from behind and crushing the two of you in a bear hug. “I feel sad already, Y/N-ie. Thank you for thinking about me. Who do I even have in this world except you, hmm? Certainly not my boyfriend.” Mingyu’s morning voice is extra lispy and extra raw, but it feels so warm near your back.
You open your eyes to see Wonwoo kissing Mingyu from above you. “Please don’t gang up against me on our first day together.” Wonwoo’s quiet mumbling doesn’t go unnoticed and you and Mingyu both end up laughing. You hug the two of them again, and your heart settles into a warm peace you never want to get out of, for your life. 
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pookiesatoru · 1 year
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HAND HOLDING WITH THE GENSHIN MEN
contains : fem!reader, smut (yeah this is smutty not soft sry not sry <3 lmaooo), mentions of cervix fucking, size kink, tummy bulges, breeding / impregnation kink, creampies woohoo, oooh the praise in this has me going a lil insane tbh, some degradation too, lots of oral, fingering, soft doms *sniffles* my weakness. includes scenarios for zhongli, kaeya, dain, tighnari, xiao and childe. this is not proof read at all, please ignore any mistakes i will not be fixing them cause i'm lazy :D
i thought about this scenario with xiao and then i spiralled from there. sorry not sorry i needed to get this out of my system actually... i am so unwell bye. likes / reblogs are appreciated and feedback is always welcomed <3 minors dni !!
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zhongli : oh he is so big. listen, everythingggggggg about him is big okay, he's literally a dragon like? his hands? big. height? bIG. cock(s)? BIIIIG and he thrives off being big. sinks his cock into you while being in a half dragon form just because his dick is bigger than his human form. golden horns on top of his head, the colour of his skin changing from his normal pale one to somewhat mixed. hues of black, orange, yellow and golden the further you travel down his body. his hands and fingers are slightly longer in this form. nails coloured black, almost resembling claws. he enjoys this form because it lets him keep his human-ness but it also embraces his past. his favourite form when you two get intimate because he wants to see your cunt struggle to take him. "there you go darling, takin' me in so well." he'd whisper as his tip pushes past your entrance, thumb rubbing against your clit. "loosen up for me, that's it." as your cunt begins to flutter around himjdhfhf aaaaa don't even get me started on the bulge he'd make in your tummy :( it's inevitable. he's just so damn big.
favourite position is you on your back, couple of pillows under your body and him holding your waist to raise your lower half off the bed, claws digging into the flesh of your waist as your cunt clenches around his cock. it's only when he's bottomed out and you're bucking your hips to signal him to move that he'd lace his fingers with yours. pins them above your head. have i mentioned zhongli's big? he's so big that he only really requires one hand to have both your wrists in his hold. daddy zhongli is so strong too, doesn't matter how much you move or thrash around when he fucks you, trying to get your wrists out of his hold so you can just touch him, he doesn't budge. waits for you to really beg, tears in your eyes as you sob out "please, please, please" will he soften up. intertwines his fingers with yours as he rocks his hips slower, but sooo deep. leans over to place a kiss to the top of your head while you thank him for letting go, and he does that every time when you two hold hands :( he's so <3 mm yeah best daddy me thinks.
kaeya : this man,, lord kayea is a wild card in my very humble opinion. he's a tease, we all know this. but i think sex to him is so intimate, especially when it's with someone he would give his heart to on a silver platter. he's like the perfect mix of tease and praise and degradation and somehow giving you what you need all at the same time? idk, just listen okay. the word tease might as well just be kaeya's middle name, he's just that good at it. he likes to hear you beg, plays dumb too. "hmm? my sweet little thing, you're so quiet. what did you say, i'm afraid i missed it." all the while he is knuckle deep into your cunt, fingers curling up juuuust right so they nudge your spot. but only just. he knows your body so well it's almost annoying. the curl of his fingers isn't enough to give you proper satisfaction but it is enough to have you crave for more. enough to make you gasp and buck your hips to try and get the satisfaction you need. "ah ah ah, don't be like that. i can't reward you if you're being a needy slut for me darling. use your words." starts withdrawing his fingers and ultimately you need to grab a hold of his wrist and b e g for him not to do that, beg for his touch. it makes his head go a little dizzy if i'm being honest. "there you go. that wasn't so hard now, was it?" and he gives you what you've been needing :( slender, pretty fingers pushing deeper into you till he physically can't anymore. letting them curl against your spongy spot and making you cum with a cry of his name liiike he thrives off teasing you and giving you what you want.
puts his dirty fingers in your mouth while he kisses your stomach, slowly kissing his way up your body (he is a romantic man after all) and makes sure to give your tits a squeeze too. grabs a hold of your chin to make you look at him as you let go of his fingers with a little pop and presses his lips to yours. it's a little messy, slippery and sloppy but you can feel how in love he is with you. spreads your thighs apart so he can press his hard on against your cunt while you kiss, tangles his fingers with yours while he ruts against your centre like he has all the time in the world :(( he takes it sooo slow, grinding against your cunt, the fabric of his boxers rubbing your clit so nicely, his lips against yours, giving your hands a little squeeze as you fiddle around with the elastic on his boxers. he just holds his body weight up with one hand, the other still tangled up with your fingers as you pull down the material just enough to have his cock out and while he fills you up nicely, he just tightens his hold on your hand cause you feel so tight around him every damn time <33
dainsleif : starting this off by saying he is SO touch starved. honorary member of the touched starved crew. he still gets so shy when he sees you naked in front of him no matter how long it's been. dain might look rough and tough on the outside, but he is so soft for you. he adores kisses your body. your lips? he kiss. your cheek? he kiss. top of your head or your nose? he kiss. inside of your wrist where he can get a slight wiff of your perfume? he kiss. but his favourite you may ask? his favourite type (aside from your lips) of kiss is when you're laid out on the bed. where he's between your legs and he's lifting your shirt off, placing kisses along your tummy, the valley of your breasts, then a gentle kiss underneath your earlobe before he's tossing your shirt to the side and making his way down your body again. this time, he places kisses to both your ankles once your pants are off, kissing up both your legs and your thighs. the last kiss he places is to your clit before his thumb presses against your nub, gentle circular motions that already have you seeing stars. dain rests his head against your thigh as he teases and rubs your clit over and over, watching how your hole clenches around nothing.
"always so pretty for me, aren't you?" another soft kiss to your upper thighs that have you wanting to shut your legs at how sensitive you feel. "keep 'em open, that's it. there you go." he'd say, your trembling thighs spreading once again. he's not the best with words of affection but he'll be damned if he doesn't praise you, let you know how pretty you are. how good you are for him. and when your hands clutch his hair and the bedsheets the closer you get to your orgasm, he'd bring the one that was holding the bedsheets closer to his mouth – dain places a kiss to your wrist, to the tips of your fingers before he slides his fingers against it and lets you grip it. he enjoys holding your hand so much while he does this, i cannot stress that enough. he likes it when you feel real. and it's only then, will he place his mouth on your cunt, letting his tongue tease your folds and dipping into your hole to really get a taste of you. feeling a sense of pride when you gasp and whimper out his name, tightening your hold on his hand as the other one still in his hair, buries his face deeper into your pussy.
tighnari : furry king he's so cute, sighs. like kaeya, sex for him is very very intimate with someone he loves. it's not about getting off, it's more so about the gentle touches, the praises that come from both your lips and his, it's about the way you two latch onto each other when you make love and he will die on that hill. yes every now and then, his animalistic urges take over and it is about a quick fuck but more often than not, he likes to explore your body. he loves it when you're straddling him. his favourite thing to do is feel you up while the both of you kiss. even though tighnari takes it slow, his movements almost feel rushed, desperate to have your clothes off. but it's the gentle kind of desperate, you know? where he wants you to be naked so he can appreciate every dip and every curve on your body without any flimsy layers of clothing in the way. hearts in his eyes even though it's the nth time he's seen you naked. you're wearing nothing, seated on his lap while his eyes dart all over your body, never really able to linger on one part for too long. admires how out of breath you are just from a make-out, lips slightly swollen and pinker than usual. continues to place kisses against your jawline to your neck as his hands grope your hips and thighs, eventually one hand inching closer and closer to your heat, a soft sigh escaping your lips as you feel the pad of his thumb finally brush against your clit. "feels good?" he'd mumble against your skin, ears twitching with excitement every time you let out more content noises followed by a soft "yes."
tighnari's good with his fingers, great in fact. he pays attention to your body, listening to every noise and taking mental note of how your body squirms in his hold as he touches you – he's so good that your hands don't really know where they should go. sometimes digging into the skin of his shoulders or his biceps. sometimes when he hasn't riled you up to where the only replies he wets are broken whimpers, they're in tighnari's hair, patting just behind his ears which has him rutting his hips against you, or sometimes they're just tangled in his locks tightly as you need to feel something to ground you. but tighari's favourite is when you plead him for his hand. the little taps against his bicep or wrist make his heart melt, followed by the "hold me, please." it almost makes the animal in him want to manhandle you, toss you on the bed and pin you there while his cock is hitting your cervix and you can't do anything but lay there and just take it. but the rational part of him tells him no. the rational part of him brings your hand to his lips, places a kiss to each and every one of your knuckles before lacing his fingers with yours, all while his other hand is buried knuckle deep in your cunt and being soaked with your juices.
xiao : he is very very very desperate with how he holds your hands. it's more so to remind himself that you're there with him, that you're real. he's a very passionate lover, how could he not be after eons and eons of thinking he's alone? of eons and eons of being alone. he's also a honorary member of the touched starved crew god he is so DJKFDHJGKD i'm so in love w him <333 he just wants to please you okay? like. all the time. every day. whenever you ask him or hint at it, he's ready to give you anything you want. he would do aaaaaanything for you to be honest. he's not very good with words, he knows he's terrible with words. but what he lacks vocally, he makes up for it with his actions instead. slow, but deliberate. almost like he's forgotten all those little stripes and freckles on your skin even though he's been memorising every dip and every mark whenever you two get intimate. gentle, barely there touches while he takes your clothes off, ghosts his fingertips over your pussy and breasts at first. likes it when you inhale sharply but he does give in. he's not much of a tease like kaeya is, gives in so quick. "'m gettin' there. just wait." he'd grumble, but there's no bite behind it all all. places a kiss to your hip bone before he spreads your legs and laps your cunt like a starved man. he's so good with his tongue, i can't stress that enough. another man who makes sure you've came on his tongue or fingers before he thinks about fucking you. the thing about xiao is, he gets pussy drunk so quick, and so very easily. the second he hears you let out a sigh of satisfaction after his mouth is on you, he's gone.
he's soo gone. xiao is an adepti, he's much stronger than humans. it's super easy for him to hold your body down with his hands, whether they be on you waists or even hooked around your thighs, he's not moving his mouth off you until he feels your hole clenching and gushing. or unless you're trying to pry his head off cause you "wan' be filled, please xiao!" flips you onto your back and makes sure your face is pressed into the mattress and your ass is up ohh my goddjghf yeah,, fucks you like that actually, he's pussy drunk. let him bury his cock in your cunt any way he wants plssss. he may not be long, but fuck is he thick. makes you clench the bedsheets while your noises are muffled out by the bed but :( xiao needs to hear you – tugs your back flush against his chest, makes his cock go even deeper in you that you're going dizzy and you're even more dizzier when you feel his fingers on your clit aaaa. firm believer xiao uses one hand too rub your clit while the other turns your head towards him so he can kiss you :(( he loves kissing you so much when you're fucking, tries to kiss you every time before you cum on his cock. it's so romantic for him. feels you cum around his cock and he's trying to hold back a groan but but but that's when he moves his hand that was on your clit to hold yours :( still kissing you too till he orgasms and spills his cum deeep in you and makes out with you for a couple of minutes. doesn't really care how sloppy it is, he just likes kissing you while you hold hands like that :((
childe : listen... childe is actually so romantic (we'll get there soon) i dunno about you. hand holding is his middle name, it's true i've seen the birth certificate. a romantic, mean perv is the best way to describe him. such a tease too. he won't give you what you need till he sees tears in your eyes or you actually start crying. he's kinda mean about it too. gets you sooo close to an orgasm only to just rip it away. "nawww, you cryin sweets?" and proceeds to lick your tears away. "don't cry, you pretty thing. gonna give you what you need, 'kay? just lay back f'me. there you go." smiles darkly when you listen to him again and lay your body flat against the bed again while shaking. and he just keeps doing that until you're full blow sobbing. "aj– ha– 'jax! please.. can' take it a'more... need to c-cum please." and watches you grip his wrists while you cry. it sets him off. he loves that you can get so pathetic for him :( some days when he's made you cry by not letting you cum, his favourite this is having you on top. just to add a little bit more humiliation into the mix. lays down first and gets all comfy without telling you what he's doing and just pats his lap. "not gonna get over here? thought you wanted to cum." has you scrambling over and once you're straddling him he'd put his hands on your thighs and just stroke them since they're shaking so much. but gives them a little slap, just enough for there to be a sound but not enough to hurt when he feels you try to lift your hips to take his cock in "relax baby. didn't i say i'm gonna give you what you need?" hhhh and when your thighs have calmed down and he's made your lips all swollen from kissing you so much will he lift your hips for you, letting you guide his cock into your hole and gives you time to get used to the stretch when he's bottomed out.
while you're taking your time and breathing whilst trying to hold back the orgasm that's approaching once being filled up, he'd let his fingertips trail up your arm, hand cupping the side of your face and rubbing his thumb along your lash line to gather the tears that haven't fallen yet and makes you suck the saltiness away from his thumb... and that makes his cock twitch in you. doesn't let you move though, wants to see how ruined you look before he's even fucked you right. and once he's admired you enough he'd go "c'mere sweets." and proceeds to hold out his hand for you. coos at how your hand is sooo tiny in his though. and he lets his other arm wrap your lower back, essentially he has you resting your head against his tits while you two hold hands. it's gentle, a contrast to how he was being mean to you earlier. as you grind on his cock and the little tufts of hair on his lower tummy make you cum around his cock, he brings your intertwined hands to his mouth and places a kiss to the back of your hand and bucks his hips up into your pussy to get to his high. but the thing is, once ajax feels soft like this, he'd just keep you above him, kiss you and keep holding your hands till he's hard again and fuck you till your lower halves are all messy and sticky.
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thebirdsareafterme · 23 days
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The man who grew up surrounded by motorsports, the son of a legendary driver, who chose to forge his own path in a different category altogether instead of following his father’s footsteps and living under his shadow.
The man who made his F1 debut next to Max Verstappen and scored points at his very first race.
The man who carries on the legacy of Maria de Villota, an iconic female driver and his mentor that taught him single-seater racing, by wearing her star at the back of every helmet.
The man who broke Red Bull’s streak not once but twice during their most dominant era, through the power of sheer willpower and tactical brilliance. Once, in the streets of Singapore, with a strategy that no one else could have pulled off. “It’s on purpose,” he said, as he utilized the bond between him and his ex-teammate to hold off two much faster Mercedes. The second time in Australia, only two weeks after an invasive surgery and barely able to walk onto the podium.
The man who took engineering classes on his own time in order to understand the car better and provide better feedback to his engineers.
The man who uses a colour-coded system to communicate rain levels to his race engineer, memorized with every millimeter of rain correlating to a specific shade.
The man who has brought every team he has ever been at to a higher position in the Constructor’s Championship, and whose teammates speak fondly of every time.
The man who, despite always being considered Ferrari’s “second choice”, is a gracious teammate and speaks respectfully about the man who is set to take his place. “That's why, when I reflected on it, it didn’t hurt me that much. Because in the end it’s not any other driver replacing you, but the best driver in history. And in the end, if one has to replace me, let it be [Lewis],” he says to the media after losing his seat at his dream team.
The man who chose Williams, because he saw their potential for growth and their vision for the future, and chose them over teams who only wanted a temporary solution.
The man who was once described as “more modest and lightly brushed by melancholy”.
The man who is energetic, fun-loving and goofy with his friends inside and out of the paddock.
The man who is strategic in every action, determined to a fault and a natural born competitor.
Happy 30th birthday, Carlos Sainz Jr. We go where you go, now and forever.
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felassan · 3 months
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Snippets 🐺💜
John Epler quote: "There’s a difference between playersexual and pansexual. All companions are canonically pansexual." [source]
The opening cinematic Varric narrates at the start of the game plays before CC. "Following character creation, Varric's narration continues, revealing that he's put together a group to stop Solas, having recruited our character and a handful of others so far." [source]
Despite the action-heavy focus, positioning is absolutely key, and using careful timing to hit multiple foes at once can be the difference between victory and defeat [source]
"In-between fights, Varric and the other characters, including your fully-voiced protagonist, discuss events that are unfolding and different things that have led up to this moment. Epler notes for the preview that with how much time has passed since prior games, the team wanted to carefully throw in some reminders without it feeling like ham-fisted exposition." [source]
"The Dread Wolf's ambitions have already been laid bare, but I strongly suspect there's more going on, and Epler cryptically hints that not everything will be as it first seems" [source]
 Mages can move instead of standing in one place, allowing them to get up close and personal with enemies - a major game-changer for magic users [source]
Faction choice affects in-game moments between other factions and locations, as well as characters [source]
"When they were creating this area, they kept that in mind and looked at other locations to figure out how they could make it more grand. They developed the entire area based on a comment someone said in a past game, and if that isn’t dedication to lore, I don’t know what is" [source] (re: Minrathous)
In this demo the press saw femme Rook! [source]
The standard three square hotkeys look like an updated version of past ones [source]
"It sounded like there is also a system that allows hints during battle, like when something is a certain range, etc., that they said could be turned off" [source]
"In cutscenes, rain dripping down a building, blood on someone’s hands, or stepping into a puddle looks outstanding". "Things like clothes and hair are dynamic and move with you" [source]
"what at its core is a beautifully told story of revenge, regret, and the complexities of good and evil" [source]
During the interrogation scene in the bar with the shady bartender, Varric pins her to her own station with a crossbow bolt in order to interrogate her. Rook and Varric then go scrounge the city for clues [source]
Re: using body sliders in CC - "It looked incredibly easy to maneuver around and create a body that is either close to that player's real personage or their ideal fantasy self" [source]
Companions "will not only be influenced by your decisions in terms of how they treat you outside of combat, but closeness to party members will also change how they fight, with those closest to Rook more useful and lethal in battle" [source]
"Our presenter said that each specialization was pretty much as deep as a job" [source]
The game will not be available in India. [source]
The game has a Quality mode and a Performance mode on PS5 and Xbox Series consoles. it runs the latest version of Frostbite, targeting frame rates of 60fps in Peformance and 30 in Quality [source]
They will have more to share on both graphics modes for consoles in the coming months. [source]
David Gaider quote on the portrayal of Anders' orientation in DAII:
DA2 writer David Gaider told Kotaku in February this was meant to distinguish Anders’ relationship with male or female versions of Hawke, but recognizes this comes off like the mage’s identity was a switch to be flipped in hindsight. “Unfortunately, we just didn’t have enough time to get enough feedback and iterate on those situations,” he said. “We would hit a particular interaction, we would make a judgment call either as a group or the writer on their own, and that was it. There was no time for anything more than one gut-check, which is probably not the way to go.”
edit: forgot to add src for last one sorry. its here
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risuola · 5 months
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VII — WHAT IF...? // F. READER x TOBIRAMA SENJU
Tobirama never wanted children and not one of you ever brought the topic up, but now, as you grow more and more intimate and comfortable with each other you wonder, what if...?
contents: smut, reader discretion is advised — 2,1k words
a/n: i need to tell you guys that i'm so incredibely grateful for the positive feedback i got from you readers! i know that Tobirama isn't the most popular character in Naruto and i chose him to make this series about (because I love him, that's why) and it makes me so happy that you enjoy his little persona too! ❥ also, i'm very sorry for posting so rarely for this series, i was stuck in where to take the story now.
POLITICALLY LOVELESS || SERIES MASTERLIST
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“God, I’m so damn busy.”
Tobirama’s low, deep voice rumbled against your skin as he kept latching his lips along the edges of you. You let your nails gently run across the pale flesh of his sides, your hands long gone underneath the dark ink-blue fabric of his blouse, yearning for the warmth of a man that has your heart in a tight grip for way longer than you’d ever suspect. The marks he was leaving at his wake matched the color to the ones you were painting on his back and you couldn’t help but grin with satisfaction when he hissed near your ear. The stinging sensation of your scratches fueled his fire even more and only seconds passed before your pants were pushed down and underwear got ripped into pieces. The heat of your core now exposed to his whims, starved tremendously for any touch of his, and you whimper – the sound nearly pathetic, as he moved his fingers along your dripping slit, spreading the slick and making their way around the pulsating bud.
“My love,” you breathed again, leaning your head against his peck, inhaling the subtle, fresh scent that always stuck to his body. A mixture of tangerine and pepper, a hint of sandal wood hovering above the soft undertone of morning dew and rain. “My god, I missed you.” You spoke, but what was leaving your mouth was incoherent, it was airy and broken; stuttered between the expert circles Tobirama was massaging right into your nervous system.
“I missed you too,” he replied, quiet against the crown of your head, taking in your aura and impatiently moving his fingers a little bit further, making them slip right into you. One by one, he was focused on stretching you out, the tight ring of muscles clenching around his digits as he moved them back and forth.
“Tobi, please–“ you whined, gripping onto his sides with enough force to ground yourself.
“You think you are ready for me?”
“I do, please,” there was no hint of uncertainty when you begged for him to fuck you. Right there, on his desk, in his office in the hokage tower. There was no worry in you, no thought about his brother few doors further down the hall, no nothing that could convince you that it wasn’t the best idea and it seemed your husband has just as little concerns because it didn’t take him long to be inside you.
A low, gravelly groan escaped his throat, vibrating against your lips that glued to his throat marked their way across the sensitive skin over his Adam’s apple. It’s been too long since he felt you that close, it’s been too long since he was able to just lose himself in you, be vulnerable in the loving embrace of your body, be the person he never got to be publicly and instead of thinking and analyzing, just letting himself feel. And then, he was sure, that if ever he wished to feel anything, it was you he wanted to experience. It was you since the day he saw you for the first time, led by a servant in your family palace, blinded and obedient but bearing a beauty that tainted his thoughts perpetually.
Tobirama will always remember the feeling of your body – the soft curve of your shoulder he kept his hand on to lead you out of your village, the gentle brush of his fingers against your cheekbones when he took the blindfold off your face, revealing the eyes in which he got lost with no return. You were nothing more than a girl he just met back then, a wife-to-be but someone unknown and yet, his heart knew on the spot that things will change. And they did, he knew it’ll happen, but he wouldn’t dare to wish his life to turn out so dramatically different to what he predicted. Love was a feeling as foreign as fear to his heart. A heart he thought was frozen and nothing more than a dot in the constellation of organs that kept him alive. The beat in his chest has never had any more meaning than to keep his body going and the very same beat now goes crazy, rumbling against his ribs whenever he sees you. Tobirama knew his life will change, the very moment his head was filled with terror and uneasiness when Hashirama passed him the decision regarding the arrangement. He knew about all the shifts in his day to day life he will simply have to commit to and yet, the most vibrant of his dreams, the most brave and perverse could have never created what he had now. You.
You, on the desk he’s used to work at. You, with your plush thighs wrapped around his waist, your hands gripping onto him for just a fraction of support, panting out moans, so light and breathy, against his lips, quietly escaping only for his ears to hear. With your core clenching, aching to accommodate him whole and yet, greedy enough to take everything, to want more. Senju would never imagine he will be blessed enough to hear his name spoken with so much love he could actually feel it seeping through the sound of it.
You kept squeezing him and he kept losing his mind over every twitch your walls did around him. You were a work of art, he thought as his eyes followed the lines of your body. An arch of your back now prominent, and the only thing that kept you from falling flat onto the desk was a pair of his hands, strongly holding your waist to himself. Your eyes were absent, your mind long gone into the realm of pleasure and yet, your fingers stayed on his biceps, squeezing the flesh and wandering, hungry to have more of him.
“Tobi–“ you breathed out, the name just barely sliding on top of the air you were panting out and you pulled yourself closer to him. Your palms now found their way to his back, stretching the fabric of his blouse to feel the skin underneath it and you leaned into him, as he leaned into you. Your foreheads touched, noses squeezed together as the final moves of his hips brought both of you over the edge. Your breaths mingled together, a soft, broken sounds made for a cacophony of love you just shared and you shut your eyes to just feel him fully.
“Welcome back home,” your husband whispered finally, kissing your lips shortly after your smile acknowledged his words. The gesture was soft, languid and though you knew it was carrying much more than just concluding the sex. There was love that it carried, emotions unraveling with each movement of his mouth against yours and you felt the warmth spreading all over your body.
“I missed you too,” you replied, softly and quietly, slowly breaking the kiss off but not shying away from marking the line of his jawline with few more wet spots. “Let’s get cleaned, shall we?”
* * *
Watching Tobirama fight was one of your favorite things to do ever since you got to marry him. It amazed you every time you had a chance to witness his training and your husband never failed to take your breath away with how skilled and precise his movements are, how much control he has over nature releases and how well he wields the sword. Of course, the moment he offered you to join him while he trained with Kagami, you said yes without a second thought.
The boy from the clan of fire has become a part of your family in a way. Ever since you gave him a hand, helped him go through the traumatic events that happened with his biological parents, you kept an eye on him. With regular visits at his new home, you got to know his new parents – lovely people – and you really attached yourself to the little kid. He was growing so fast, warming your heart and soul as you watched the smile on his face and pinched his cheeks every time you had a chance, because soon he’ll be too big for you to do so any longer (you’ll try anyway). Kagami was a constant guest at your house, spreading his warm aura across the place where you and your husband live and making you smile every time you saw him, because the few days you got to take a close care of him were the sweetest memories you held onto. You’ll never forget the way he clung onto you, with trust and a kind of love that a child gives an adult that it feels safe with.
Tobirama grew to love the boy rather quickly – though he was reluctant to admit how fast it happened, but you knew he felt the intense need of care in just few days of little Uchiha in his life. Now it wasn’t a secret anymore – your husband openly treated the kid as if it was his own and even though he strongly believed that kids shouldn’t be exposed to war and violence, he was very supportive when it came to trainings. Even on the busiest days of his schedule, he always found a moment or two to spare for the cheerful child that came to visit the hokage tower every time he was around.
“Tired already?” Senju asked, watching the brunette gathering up from the green grass on one of the meadows that were more of a training field than a piece of greenery. An open space so big in comparison to the almost eight-year-old tiny human and yet he bravely raised up to his little feet, clenching his fingers around the handle of his kunai.
 “No!” He called out, panted and a small smile tugged on your husband’s lips as he got into his stance yet again. It was a spectacle of trust and power and you admired your man for being able to perfectly calculate how much strength he can put into every move of his body to make the little one hustle just enough.
You, as you sat on the side, resting on the soft blanket and surrounded by homemade food you prepared to feed both boys after they’re done and some bandages and first aid supplies that you knew will be needed to tend scrapes and cuts that Kagami will most likely be covered in after the session. All those little, harmless wounds you’ll later kiss and wrap around, tickling the child and basking in the sweet sound of his giggles muffled by the pieces of rice and meat you’ll give him.
You smiled, then sighed, feeling a sentiment washing over you. A slight tension made your muscles twitch and soon you found yourself pressing a hand onto your belly. You wished to have children, not always – but now, as you found love in the village that confidently you call your cherished home, more and more often you catch yourself thinking.
Tobirama didn’t want any offspring, at least that’s what he told you few days after the wedding – as he was explaining to you the mechanisms of the arrangement and briefing you through his visions of the future between you and him, he mentioned that his brother will secure the bloodline, therefore he has no wish to have kids himself. It’s something you agreed on, then slightly intimidated by his cold and calm persona, but three years had passed since you and him got bonded by knot of matrimony and as you think of it, none of his predictions came to life.
Sometimes you chuckled mentally, knowing how far off is what you have now to what he told you he think will happen. It was meant to be loveless, it was meant to be dry and distant. He told you that he’s sorry for the future you were given to, that he’s not going to love you just like you deserve but then, he did just that. He swore he’s cold, that his heart isn’t capable of sharing feelings as romantic as love but Tobirama loves, and he loves hot. Every kiss and stolen touch with him burns right into your soul, warms you from the inside, makes you happy and cherished, and you knew, deep inside of your heart, that his mind changed long time ago. You knew, deep down, that he’s content with what you built together, that he’s happier than he ever would be if your marriage turned out as he thought it will.
And so, you wondered if his will to have children changed as well? You never talked about it with him, never asked and he didn’t as well. Lost in the constant rush of his busy schedule, from meeting to meeting and from fight to fight, Tobirama stayed quiet about the issue and you, now leading the anbu, never had guts to bring it up either. But now, as you sat there, basking in the warm rays of the summer sun, you wondered what if…?
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taglist: @garouaddict @bluebreadenthusiast @nelivv @drthymby @humongousdreamlandbear @darlingxoxo15 @gaozorous-rex-blog
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livefastdriveyoung · 20 days
Text
In this era of social media, mental health consciousness, and open dialogue, the sheer magnitude of the way Logan’s story in F1 came to an end is diabolical.
It should not have happened.
But it did.
And it ends in the fact that there was no push back from those in the sport until after he was gone.
It took Logan being kicked out of the seat with nine races left for two fellow drivers to speak positively about him, for reporters to say hey he’s alone and has no support system maybe that is a problem.
That's where we're up to, where it ends.
Before this, we had Croft and Karun spending half of their dialogue talking about how much they don’t like him, how bad he is. Week after week. And yeah. He’s not the best by any means but it was nonstop.
Alongside that we have this constant dialogue from the higher ups at Williams that “Logan must do better, he is not where we need him, the mechanics are furious, they cheered for 45 seconds straight when we announced Carlos.”
Alongside that, There was a two sentence statement both times he got dropped. AFTER HIS REPLACEMENTS WERE ANNOUNCED.
Before that we have the team principal boot him from his car in the third race of the season for points they never scored.
And the abuse continued. Tumblr is pretty supportive of Logan, but if you spend time on Twitter or Instagram, it was abusive, how mean people were. 
Are.
When the rumors came out about James not talking to Logan, not giving him feedback, the statement was the first time we saw him mention anything related to his team principal. 
Funny how we were all flabbergasted but it was somehow believable. 
There have been signs that Logan was fading from Williams, that the sport was punishing him, since his first season. No birthday post for Logan, two posts for his contract renewal, one post about Lap of Legends featuring him only to be immediately dwarfed by Alex’s renewal.
Nothing about Logan’s improvements or teamwork, strictly what he did wrong.
Nothing Williams did has led me to believe they ever liked him.
And then the revelation that James had been trying to sign Carlos since before he signed Logan.
He would have had to be negotiating both contracts at the same time.
The same time.
Even when James had no replacements in mind according to the press, he was having hotel room meetings with another driver.
Because Logan was never the first choice. Not even the second. His selection was an act of desperation. His renewal was because of the sponsors and lack of options.
It must have been miserable.
And still, he speaks no ill. We know from many drivers about how they feel about their former teams. But he’s not going to say anything. I hope he winds up somewhere that respects him as a person, because it feels like Williams didn’t even do that. 
Because that is where it comes down to.
Where is the human decency? When did it become acceptable to put someone in the line of fire and leave them there?
He may not have been what Williams was looking for, but Logan Brought a lot of people to this sport, and for that, they owe him more than they could ever repay him.
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reasonsforhope · 7 months
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"Is social media designed to reward people for acting badly?
The answer is clearly yes, given that the reward structure on social media platforms relies on popularity, as indicated by the number of responses – likes and comments – a post receives from other users. Black-box algorithms then further amplify the spread of posts that have attracted attention.
Sharing widely read content, by itself, isn’t a problem. But it becomes a problem when attention-getting, controversial content is prioritized by design. Given the design of social media sites, users form habits to automatically share the most engaging information regardless of its accuracy and potential harm. Offensive statements, attacks on out groups and false news are amplified, and misinformation often spreads further and faster than the truth.
We are two social psychologists and a marketing scholar. Our research, presented at the 2023 Nobel Prize Summit, shows that social media actually has the ability to create user habits to share high-quality content. After a few tweaks to the reward structure of social media platforms, users begin to share information that is accurate and fact-based...
Re-targeting rewards
To investigate the effect of a new reward structure, we gave financial rewards to some users for sharing accurate content and not sharing misinformation. These financial rewards simulated the positive social feedback, such as likes, that users typically receive when they share content on platforms. In essence, we created a new reward structure based on accuracy instead of attention.
As on popular social media platforms, participants in our research learned what got rewarded by sharing information and observing the outcome, without being explicitly informed of the rewards beforehand. This means that the intervention did not change the users’ goals, just their online experiences. After the change in reward structure, participants shared significantly more content that was accurate. More remarkably, users continued to share accurate content even after we removed rewards for accuracy in a subsequent round of testing. These results show that users can be given incentives to share accurate information as a matter of habit.
A different group of users received rewards for sharing misinformation and for not sharing accurate content. Surprisingly, their sharing most resembled that of users who shared news as they normally would, without any financial reward. The striking similarity between these groups reveals that social media platforms encourage users to share attention-getting content that engages others at the expense of accuracy and safety...
Doing right and doing well
Our approach, using the existing rewards on social media to create incentives for accuracy, tackles misinformation spread without significantly disrupting the sites’ business model. This has the additional advantage of altering rewards instead of introducing content restrictions, which are often controversial and costly in financial and human terms.
Implementing our proposed reward system for news sharing carries minimal costs and can be easily integrated into existing platforms. The key idea is to provide users with rewards in the form of social recognition when they share accurate news content. This can be achieved by introducing response buttons to indicate trust and accuracy. By incorporating social recognition for accurate content, algorithms that amplify popular content can leverage crowdsourcing to identify and amplify truthful information.
Both sides of the political aisle now agree that social media has challenges, and our data pinpoints the root of the problem: the design of social media platforms."
And here's the video of one of the scientsts presenting this research at the Nobel Prize Summit!
youtube
-Article via The Conversation, August 1, 2023. Video via the Nobel Prize's official Youtube channel, Nobel Prize, posted May 31, 2023.
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Text
Encounter Points Will Be Accumulated, and Bosses Will Respawn Much Faster! | Developers Discussion - 07/05/2024
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Dear Traveler,
The latest Developers Discussion has arrived~ Today, we'll be introducing the optimizations that will be released in Version 4.8. To improve your gaming experience, we've added some new features and updated existing systems, so let's check them out!
In addition, following the official launch of the new gameplay mode "Imaginarium Theater," we are also continuing to monitor Travelers' feedback.
The initial intention behind the design of "Imaginarium Theater" was to provide Travelers with new and diverse combat experiences through the introduction of new scenarios. However, there are indeed various shortcomings in the current gameplay, particularly in the lack of sufficient positive feedback for different party lineups during battles. Therefore, in the upcoming adjustments, we will continue to focus on elemental reactions and consider designing more strategically powerful and user-friendly mechanisms for everyone to consider.
Furthermore, regarding the issue raised by many Travelers about "the randomness of character acquisition," a mechanic to "push specific characters" has already been implemented. However, as the effect of the mechanic remains at a subtle level, the actual results are not ideal. In future iterations, we will also optimize the method of obtaining characters, such as providing multiple options for players to choose from in certain instances of character acquisition.
Optimizations for "Imaginarium Theater" are currently under development and will continue to be implemented in subsequent updates. We hope that these changes will provide Travelers with a better gameplay experience. We sincerely appreciate everyone's constructive feedback.
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kbandtrash · 8 months
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Less Than Three (Hongjoong x Reader)
~Rachel~
@sorryimananti-romantic hahaha remember how I said I was the slowest writer ever? Apparently that's not true because it only took me a month and a half to write this. I need help
Content: fluff, a whole lot of delusional one-sided pining (the cute kind though) (from him), silly middle school antics from both teachers and students, betting, friends to lovers
Summary: Kim Hongjoong teaches middle school math and finds himself absolutely smitten with you, the math department's newest hire. You're the last person to find out.
Note: This is set in an American-style middle school because that's where my teaching experiences have been and I figured my best work would come out of the system I'm most familiar with
Word Count: 11.5k
Why did Hongjoong choose middle school?
He asks himself this question every day as well
If he wanted to be a math teacher, high school was clearly a better option
But no he had started out in a middle school, promising to take a high school position as soon as one opened up
And now he was actively avoiding high school principals that wanted to recruit him
Is it because he found out the math is easier to explain and the kids really aren’t that bad?
Yeah sure
But this year he had another reason to stay
See his math department had a position open up this summer and as he got to take part in interviews to select a new hire
He fell in love
Now that was not the whole reason he advocated to hire you
In fact your credentials as a math teacher
The places you had taught before
Your praxis exam scores
Your recommendation letters
The professional development programs you were a part of
Test scores from your previous classes
The way you understood math
And especially the way you believed that every student had the potential to pass your class
All of these made you the obvious choice and everyone else agreed
But he was struck several times with Cupid’s arrows throughout the interview and that absolutely did not hurt his opinion of you as a potential colleague
On this particular morning his excuse to talk to you before classes started for the day was a test for your 7th graders
Which they would be taking next Friday
Your feedback always ended up being valuable anyway so there was no need for this to be an “excuse” but it got to be one anyway
You were typing something up when he knocked on the open door to your classroom to announce his presence
You finished typing your sentence before you looked up, and when you saw Hongjoong leaning against the door frame with some papers in his hand, you greeted him with a smile and a wave
He wondered if it would look unprofessional if he grew out his hair to cover his ears
You looked gorgeous today (every day) and he knew there was no stopping his ears from turning bright red
“I have the unit tests for 7th,” he said, stealing a chair from a desk to sit backwards on while he talked to you
“Oh good!” you replied. “I’ll take a look at those and get them back to you by lunch”
Buy lunch he thought
That sounded like an excellent idea
He should buy you lunch
He didn’t say that though
“Works for me. How was your weekend?”
And he stalled and stalled and stalled until the first bell rang and he had to get out to hall duty
At lunch he walked in again while you were putting in assignment scores and munching on some pretzel sticks
“I made a key for that new assignment we decided to add for 8th grade. Can you check answers if you get the time?”
His heart did a little flip as you covered your mouth with your hand while you finished chewing
How could you be so graceful and polite?
And your hands were so pretty wow
“Yes just as soon as I finish putting these in. And—” you turned your chair around and grabbed something from behind you— “here are the 7th tests from this morning. I added a couple notes on the integer operations review questions, but other than that, I think they’re great”
He unfortunately did need to go and eat his own lunch and fulfill other teacherly lunchtime duties so he couldn’t stall as much as this morning
But he read your notes on the way back to his classroom
And boy he could have lived in your handwriting
The pen that you used was the perfect instrument to capture every letter, every dot, every loop in a way that encapsulated your personality
And as soon as he caught himself thinking that he knew he needed to ask the home ec teacher to smack him over the head with a frying pan because wowie
He would need professional help in order to date you like a normal person at this point
Anyway he was practically skipping back after lunch because he came up with another question to ask you
There were students there so instead of using your first name he caught your attention by calling you Miss (L/N)
Which for some reason gives him more butterflies than calling you normally
This time luckily instead of giving you a new task it was a task he could do for you
“How many copies of the activity page should I put you down for?”
“Ooh good question”
You put your finger over your lips as you counted on your other hand and he had to actively look away and think about other things
There were students present after all
“Which classes are you doing it with?” you ended up asking
He used the opportunity to set a hand down on your desk and lean forward in a cool pose
“I’m making the eighth graders do it but it’s extra credit for the seventh”
“That sounds like a good plan to me. So sixty for the eighth graders and then how many do you think I would need if it’s optional?”
Oh boy he loved it when you asked for advice
It gave him the chance to look cool and smart and he always got to play it off as the humble senior teacher
“I do half just to be safe. Plus then you have extra if you want to do it again later in the year or even next year”
And then your face did that thing it did when you liked a suggestion he gave
Your face lit up with your eyebrows raised and your mouth in a little “ooh”
There were students around there were students around
“Okay then sixty for the eighth graders and forty-five for seventh. A hundred and five?”
He scribbled the number down on the copy request form
“Excellent. I’ll run this down then”
He gave you a smile and a wave as he went to attend to his own class
Which you returned
And he was sure his heart would never physically recover from the stress it was under this year
You didn’t need to know that you were the only other teacher he was sharing this particular activity page with
He would give it to the other teachers if they asked him for it but he wasn’t going to go out of his way for this one because it was kind of silly and short
But he would do anything to make your first year at a new school just a little bit easier
Back in his classroom he tried to get class started when one of his eighth graders had the audacity to raise his hand and say the following:
“You just walked back from Miss (L/N)’s class huh?”
Mr. Kim squinted suspiciously at the student
“Yeah…why”
“You’re way nicer when you go to her class before our class starts”
Before he had any time to figure out what that meant, the class exploded in giggles and shouts of agreement
“Yeah you smile a lot more this year than you did last year” a girl who had had his class the previous year as well agreed
And then from the back corner
One of the notorious trouble makers stood up
Pointed his finger up at poor Mr. Kim, who was now considering taking a high school position again
And shouted “Mr. Kim has a crush on Miss (L/N)!!!”
There was no longer any hope for this class
Exponent rules? Down the drain
Hongjoong was now a laughingstock
Irredeemable in front of a bunch of 13-14 year olds
So he stood with his hands clasped behind his back, lips pursed, and his eyes dangerously blank
It wasn’t long before kids started shushing each other
Even once they were quiet, he held their attention for a second longer
“If you have two to the fourth times two to the third, what’s the product?” he asked clearly, writing the problem on the whiteboard in new black marker
Not addressing the issue would not stem the tide of curious teenagers for long but it would have to be a band-aid solution until he figured out how to do this properly
Because he couldn’t allow rumors to spread that he liked you because firstly unprofessional and secondly what if you heard them and thought he was weird
But he couldn’t lie and allow rumors to spread that he definitely didn’t have a crush on you because firstly. unprofessional kids don’t need to know about that stuff
Like they think they’re all mature and old enough to date when they can’t even drive yet like can you imagine as a teenager asking your mom to drive you to your date with your girlfriend. Embarrassing
BUT SECONDLY
What if you heard the rumors and maybe you did like him back and it crushed your heart to hear that he didn’t like you
While the kids were working on their assignment and he was working on his computer he decided the best way to explain this to them
If they ever brought it up again
Was that they’re always in a better mood when they get to talk to their friends, right?
You’re a good friend and it’s fun working with you
The other math teachers are fun too but you’re close to his age so it makes sense that you would be closer
Yep
Good explanation Mr. Kim
Literally just one day later the kids bring it up again and they do not buy his explanation
They don’t even pretend to because their brains are not developed enough to have that kind of social tact
And the rumor doesn’t exactly spread like wildfire around the school but everyone knows about it you know what I mean
Except you actually
You’re usually very aware of everything going on in your classroom but somehow this particular subject escaped your attention
You learned early on that for some reason kids don’t have shame anymore in spilling their guts to the classroom about what they’re gossiping about
So the usual “if you can’t wait to tell your friend later then tell the whole class now” classroom management tactic is now useless
So you didn’t do that instead you just asked them which problem they’re helping their friend with and if they’re not helping their friend with math then they should get back on task
You didn’t think that any middle school level gossip could actually be that interesting anyway so yeah you had no idea that kids were shipping the teachers
And you didn’t want to know
So you stayed blissfully ignorant
While Hongjoong was lowkey agonizing over it
Now you and Hongjoong tend to eat lunch in your own classrooms rather than the staff lounge
Because why use up any more social energy than necessary right
But there is a vending machine in the staff room and Hongjoong was craving something sweet one day
And when he walked in the other teachers in there suddenly went awkwardly silent
And he knew
They were talking about him
Yeah he should take a high school position next year
Two of the younger teachers, Jung Wooyoung from the history department and Choi San from the phys ed department, broke the silence giggling to each other
“Sorry Hongjoong” San apologized “the kids are just hilarious these days. They’re so excited about you and (Y/N) it’s adorable”
Hongjoong gave them a look
“Adorable?”
“Well firstly you” Wooyoung pointed out “I never thought I’d see you fall head over heels but I totally get it. She’s super cool”
“And secondly the kids” San continued “any time you guys are talking in the hall I have all of the girls talking about it during warm ups. The boys all think of you as their role model when it comes to liking a girl”
“That reminds me!” Wooyoung interrupted “I actually did have a boy confess to a girl in my class the other day and you wanna know what he told her??”
Hongjoong’s eyebrows furrowed in a glare, absolutely sure that his reputation was never going to recover
“He said ‘I like you more than Mr. Kim likes Miss (L/N)’”
The teachers tried to tone down their laughter out of respect
Hongjoong wanted to leave immediately but this stupid vending machine was having issues
“And then you know what she said back?”
Wooyoung was having trouble holding himself together
His eyes were shining a little with tears of laughter
“She said ‘That’s impossible. No one can like anyone more than Mr. Kim likes Miss (L/N)’”
The other teachers could not hold it back anymore
The vending machine finally gave Hongjoong his candy bar
(Plus the extra one he bought for you)
So he made his way swiftly back towards the door
“Oh no no wait” Wooyoung called after him
“Tests to grade” Hongjoong lied simply
“No come on you have to hear this”
Hongjoong stopped at the door, fighting the urge to classroom manage his coworkers
He looked back both unimpressed and expectant at the same time
“Okay everyone raise your hands if you betted on before Christmas break” Wooyoung called out
Some of the teachers looked at him like he had just asked out a widow at her husband’s funeral
But they raised their hands sheepishly anyway
“Great yes and after Christmas break?”
The other half raised their hands, most of them looking like they wished that had eaten lunch in their own classrooms
“These are bets on when you’re going to ask her out” Wooyoung explained cheerfully
“Wasn’t someone also trying to get bets going on whether you would confess first or she would notice first?” San asked
“That was also me” Wooyoung said with a grin
The lounge door opened again and in walked the principal and one of the vice principals
Hongjoong thought this was finally the end to this stupid conversation
But no
“Oh Hongjoong!” the principal greeted him with a pat on the arm “I’ve got $50 on you dating before Christmas. Don’t let me down”
Waiting until the end of the school year to take a new position would simply not be soon enough
Hongjoong needed to find a new job or retire within the month
But then on the way back to his classroom he remembered he had an extra candy bar for you
So he made a detour
But what greeted him was a closed door with the window on the door covered
He hadn’t ever seen your door shut like this before so he wasn’t sure what it meant exactly
Maybe you went out to lunch today?
Then he could just nab one of your sticky notes and leave the candy bar on your desk with a positive message
He would rather give it to you himself, but the idea of you finding the candy bar on your desk later made his chest feel all warm and cozy so it was fine
Your door was unlocked, so he pulled it open just enough so he could see inside
And you were in there actually
Slumped in your desk chair with your head in your hands
Oh
Oh no
Hongjoong had been there before
Every teacher had been there before
The work of a teacher isn’t as easy as most people would like to believe
Especially for middle school, and even more so for math, it takes someone with unending patience and courage to help kids learn every day
And some days that patience and courage runs a little thinner than other days
Even experienced teachers wonder from time to time if it’s worth the soul that they give to their classes
The classes that seem sometimes not to notice one way or the other if you’re teaching or not
You hadn’t noticed that you weren’t quite alone anymore, so that left Hongjoong with a choice to make
Did he let you have this moment to yourself?
Or did he try to help you through it?
He closed the door as softly as he could
And then he gave a little knock to give you some privacy and some time to gather yourself
Then he opened the door and stepped halfway through
“The vending machine spat out two candy bars instead of one” he lied with a grin, holding up the extra candy bar and wiggling it between his fingers
You had sat up and were resting your chin on your hand curiously
But there was definitely a downtrodden aura about you that he couldn’t miss
“That’s pretty lucky,” you replied
He took that as permission to enter and on his way to your desk he snagged his usual chair to sit backwards on
“How’s today going so far?” he asked as if he knew nothing, setting the candy bar down on top of your closed computer
“Oh, you know,” you sighed
He chuckled, opening his candy bar, not making eye contact with you to relieve some pressure for you to keep up an act
“That good, huh?”
You laughed in return
“Just got my butt kicked by a bunch of seventh graders, so yeah, it’s kind of whatever right now”
Ah the teacher equivalent of “I want to quit my job and hide in my bed for the rest of my life”
“Oh, yep, I’ve been there more than once” he said with a nod “and sometimes there’s really nothing you could have done better, you know? Kids are just like that sometimes. It makes me glad I’m not an elementary school teacher”
“Oh my word yes” you agreed, finally picking up the candy bar “at least I can kick these gremlins out after 45 minutes and I don’t have to see them again until the next day. I can’t imagine being with the same class all day”
Did Hongjoong end up squandering his entire eating time just to talk with you and make sure you felt better?
Yes
He would have to sneak bites of his sandwich in between activities during his afternoon classes
But like it wasn’t the first time he’d had to do that and heaven knew it wouldn’t be the last
At least he had a good reason today instead of something stupid like he was lost in the test grading sauce and forgot to eat
He proceeded to get his butt kicked by his afternoon classes because he couldn’t wipe his lovefool smile off his face
But it was okay because once again it wasn’t the first time and heaven knew it wouldn’t be the last
Not long after came the hallowed and hated teacher inservice day
Professional development day
Both a huge waste of time and a relaxing little work day
The administrators usually planned a series of workshops for the morning that all looked. well. kind of stupid but it was all planned with good intention
Then it was lunch time
And then after that you had until the end of contract hours to do whatever pretty much
The math department liked to go to lunch together and then have a really productive planning meeting until people got bored and then it was individual prep time pretty much
Mostly it was just kinda nice to be at school without kids there
This year was no exception to all of this
But Mr. Principal had $50 on the line and decided to play matchmaker about it
For each of the workshops the teachers were split into groups
And you and Hongjoong had been placed together every single time
Somehow you genuinely thought it was just good luck
Hongjoong was hyperaware of every other teacher looking and pointing and giggling and you were so peacefully oblivious to it
The first workshop was about medical emergency training, specifically training teachers in case of allergy or diabetic emergencies
As soon as the nurse finished with the epipen instructions you leaned over to Hongjoong and whispered “like this?” 
And stabbed him with the fake epipen right in the thigh
Hongjoong swore he was going to die right then and there because why was that so attractive???
“Four…five…six…seven…eight…” you counted out, holding the epipen in place for the full ten seconds
And like a good patient he sat like a statue because his circuits were absolutely fried
You glanced up at his face and your expression immediately dropped
You checked the epipen all over to make sure it was just a trainer
(It was)
“Hongjoong are you okay?? Your face is all red did I do something wrong?” you worried
He unfroze and tried to undo the damage of his Little Moment but the nurse was already over at the table taking a closer look at him after dismissing the rest of the teachers to practice
She looked at you and then at Hongjoong and then at you again and back at Hongjoong and a funny look of understanding came over her face
“Are you Mr. Kim the math teacher” she asked
He nodded awkwardly
“And are you Miss (L/N) the math teacher” she asked
“Yes?” you answered
She patted Hongjoong on the shoulder
“He’ll be fine in a minute or so” she reassured you, glancing up and away somewhere else
You both followed her gaze over to the principal, who gave her a bright smile and a thumbs up
Which looked innocuous enough to the untrained eye
But to Hongjoong this was just another in a long list of embarrassments
The principal had told the guest workshop speakers about him
And he had been spotted that easily
After that was administration-provided snack time
Hongjoong offered to grab sodas if you would grab chips and stuff
And at the soda table he was greeted by Wooyoung and San, who called him affectionately Mr. Traffic Light
Hongjoong resisted the urge to react publicly
Even though there were no children around he refused to allow himself to be caught cursing them out
But he brainstormed violently about the ways he could get back at them without getting caught
Truly his middle school teacher powers of ignoring were activated because those two were practically dancing around him trading one-liner after one-liner and Hongjoong paid them no mind
Until he realized they were following him back to the table where he was sitting with you
He did not need them teasing him around you so he tried to shoo them off
But Wooyoung gleefully turned his attention up to the projector screen where the groupings for the next workshop were displayed
Truly your presence was the only saving grace this day had to offer
They were in this group with you two
The computer teacher/school tech support guy was leading this workshop and he was showcasing how one might use ai in their classroom
And all four of you were totally zoned out because firstly ai in a math classroom?? For what
Chat bots are notoriously bad at math
Ai in San’s gymnasium? Once again no practical application
And Wooyoung honestly just wasn’t that interested because none of you were listening so he didn’t feel like he had to either
So he decided flirting with you was more fun
Just to make Hongjoong mad
But for all of his whispered pick up lines and compliments you had approximately the same response as to this ai workshop:
Playing gamepigeon with Hongjoong under the table
(Which Hongjoong had initiated by the way)
(And you had perpetuated after destroying him at the mini golf game)
Aka you ignored Wooyoung pretty well
So Hongjoong got to glare over at him with the peace of mind that your attention was fully his right then
San tapped your shoulder and asked for your number
Which you gave him a little too easily for Hongjoong’s continued peace of mind
But then San just made a group chat for the four of you to play uno together for the remainder of the workshop
So Hongjoong decided that actually this setup wasn’t so bad
The last workshop was unfortunately much more important so the four of you couldn’t continue slacking off
The principal was running this one and it was genuinely for the betterment of the school environment
Plus San and Wooyoung were sent off to other groups
So it was the two of you and a few other senior teachers that were going to have a discussion about one of the behavior initiatives that the school was trying out
You were the only two math teachers in the group, so when the principal passed out data that had been collected about this behavior initiative, the other teachers sort of automatically passed the papers to you
(And the science teachers in the group but that’s irrelevant)
There was only one copy of each dataset, so that meant you got to share
And that meant that you got to scoot your chairs close together to look at the paper at the same time
And even better the text was kind of small so you had to bring the papers close to your faces to read them
So the two of you were shoulder to shoulder
Practically cheek to cheek, your heads almost touching
To read this data and explain it to the less number-savvy teachers
Today was actually pretty fantastic so far, Hongjoong thought
He also wondered if you could physically feel the heat coming off of his face but that was not something he was going to let bother him right then
He was going to live in the moment
And perhaps thank the principal later
After a surprisingly productive and insightful discussion
It was finally ~lunch time~
The math department gathered up in the department head’s classroom to decide which of the nearby restaurants to choose to go to
And no one could agree
Not a single person was feeling like eating the same thing
Except Hongjoong he was agreeing with whatever you said
Not just because he wanted you to have your way but because whatever you said sounded good to him too
Maybe it sounded good because you said it but nonetheless
And then the department head said the following fateful words:
“How about you two just go ahead and we’ll try to decide on something for the rest of us
Hongjoong was suspicious right then and there that this was a setup
The department head probably had money on Before Christmas
But Hongjoong was absolutely not going to let this opportunity slip through his fingers
“I’m cool with that” you answered before Hongjoong could gather his thoughts enough to say anything
Then you turned to him
“I need to go grab my purse from my classroom. Do you need anything from yours?”
“Oh, yeah, just my wallet” he answered totally on autopilot
You stopped by your classroom first and then his since his was closer to the front of the school
He was so excited to finally realize that dream of his from a few weeks back
He was gonna buy you lunch
And not only that it was just the two of you going out to lunch
It didn’t matter that this wasn’t a date
Or that technically you were just gonna buy food and eat it back at school
It was special to him to go somewhere with just you 
That wasn’t school
Seriously he was so happy he couldn’t stop smiling when he told the cashier that your orders were together and he was going to pay
You kinda elbowed him and told him he didn’t have to do that
But he just shrugged and turned his smile on you
“But I wanted to” he replied
You accepted that
“It’s on me next time” you promised
And oh man he could have died right there he felt so complete
Except if he died then there would be no next time
But you were saying next time and it made him think that wow yeah this would happen again
You meant if it ever happened again but he was determined that it was a certain for the future
Because even if it didn’t happen by chance then he would make it happen himself
When you got back to the school the rest of the math department was gone so you started eating without them
And that was a magical moment of peace too
Just the two of you
No one around to tease Hongjoong
He could almost pretend you were just normal friends and he wasn’t head over heels for you
Then the rest of the department came back and they all had food from the same restaurant
So Hongjoong had been right to be suspicious earlier
It was most definitely a setup to get the two of you by yourselves
And he liked it so he wasn’t going to complain about it
Even though it was embarrassing
Well as fun as professional development day ended up being
Parent teacher conferences were not
Hongjoong was looking forward to more Mr. Principal shenanigans
Like maybe when all the teachers were in the gym yours and his table could be next to each other
And he could talk to you when neither of you had any parents
And when the night was wrapping up
And he could walk you out to your car because it was dark
And maybe treat you to dinner because the school-provided food wasn’t usually that great
But no
None of that could happen
Because someone had decided to have teachers stay in their classrooms for conferences this year
The parents would have the wonderful opportunity to get lost in their child’s school trying to find all of their classes
What a joke
They were probably going to get so many complaints they would switch it back to normal next semester
But the one time Hongjoong was looking forward to parent teacher conferences
Of course
Was the one time they had to switch it up
The one silver lining in this was the teachers complaining about it together
Hongjoong’s favorite email he had ever received was now from Wooyoung
Who was replying to the email notifying teachers of the different setup this year but just to Hongjoong
In all lowercase:
“hey loverboy u see this crap
math teacher romancephobic fr smh”
And then with his full professional email signature at the bottom
This precious email was moved to Hongjoong’s funny emails folder, which was usually reserved for unhinged student emails
He did not reply to it
San and the other phys ed teachers were joking about how nice it would be to have the gym to themselves for once but they were in agreement that this probably wouldn’t last
Of course the math department had tests scheduled across all the grades right before conferences
Which of course left everyone grading like crazy
And of course the kids trashed the classrooms the day before
And of course the head janitor ended up getting sick
So it was up to the teachers to make sure their classrooms didn’t look like trash
Even though they had 150+ tests to grade and a pile of late work to grade
And they had 24 hours (7 of which were going to be spent teaching, and hopefully 7-8 would be spent sleeping) to make this all work before parents started showing up at 4 o’clock tomorrow afternoon
What a time this was going to be
So Hongjoong picked up his pile of tests and went to your classroom
Predictably you were grading tests
He stole a student desk and moved it close to your desk
“Which tests are you working on?” he asked
“Eighth” you replied, not looking up from the test you were currently grading
“How does this sound” he began “I’ll take your seventh and you take my eighth so we don’t have to switch answer keys?”
Still barely looking up, you handed him three binder-clipped stacks of paper
“As long as you don’t mind working to music” you replied, your eyebrows raising as a little smile played on your lips
He took your tests and handed you his eighth grade tests
(This worked out nicely as you both had three classes of seventh and two classes of eighth. He was tricking you into letting him take the heavier load ohoho so sneaky)
(He was just lucky you were grading eighth instead of seventh first)
“Don’t mind?” he snickered, uncapping his favorite felt-tip grading pen “I’d prefer it”
And that’s how speed grading turned into karaoke
Grading went almost certainly slower than it would have if you had worked alone but it was way more fun this way
Of course he ended up with sixty some more tests to grade than you
So when you finished you left for a bit and came back with snacks
As well as his pile of late work
He tried to protest but no no
“You’re not nearly as sneaky as you think you are Mr. Kim” you teased him “You thought you could fool a math teacher into thinking we had an equal workload here?”
“That wasn’t the point” he whined, trying to put the cap back on his pen and inking his finger instead
“Then what was the point?”
I love you that’s the point
But what was the point actually
What was a point he could believably tell you without giving himself away
“Just…because” he said convincingly, shrugging his shoulders and settling back into his tests “You look stressed these days. Wanted to do something nice I guess”
You brandished his late work stack again
“So I’m going to do something nice too”
Yeah he probably wouldn’t ever feel this way about anyone ever again
For him at this point it was you or nothing
But the problem was he was willing to let it be nothing for far too long
He would never make a single move unless he knew you were okay with it
Because if he and his stupid heart ruined whatever you had going now then it would really be nothing
He wouldn’t give up the something he still had
He was like a curve approaching an asymptote
He could get infinitely close, but he would never actually touch you
After settling your gradebooks for tomorrow you started by picking up your classroom together
This did go faster with music by the way
And then you picked up his classroom together
And then he realized Hongjoong realized he could have his wish
The one about walking you out to your car and taking you out to dinner
Walking you out was easy but taking you out was another story
He would have to suggest it himself
A little known fact about teachers is that they became teachers because they don’t know how/don’t want to talk with other adults
Kids don’t judge you if something comes out of your mouth a little different than you meant it
Other adults are mean and judge you over silly things
This unfortunately meant that he didn’t know how to ask you to go to dinner with him without making it sound like a date
He was kinda just hoping a lil Kdrama moment would happen and one of your stomachs would rumble really loud so he could laugh it off and say you should go eat together
But you got closer and closer to your car and no tummy rumbling
You got to your car and no tummy rumbling
You opened your door and said goodbye and still no tummy rumbling
“Wait!!!”
He could have slapped his own mouth
You were a little startled but it stopped you from getting in your car
“Hmm?”
“Just uh…it’s kinda late and snacks are great but they’re not that filling…so do you wanna um…” he trailed off and did not finish his thought
“Wanna what?” you asked
Big boy pants Hongjoong come on
“Go grab dinner? Or something?” he finally spat out
He must not have seen your face light up in the dark
“No pressure” he added when you didn’t answer within 0.05 seconds
“No that sounds great! I was thinking of grabbing something on the way home anyway and it would be way more fun to do it with someone else” you accepted
He let you pick the place again and you drove separately because after you would be going in different directions
But it ended up being a nice little fast casual restaurant
And it didn’t feel like a date really but it kinda felt like a date but no it didn’t
It just ended up being a comfortable little outing between friends
Hongjoong knew he couldn’t stop smiling
And he wondered if you already knew how he felt about you
He was sure he didn’t smile like this at anyone else
And you were many things but dense couldn’t possibly be one of them
He knew he was the opposite of subtle
But if you were willing to spend time with him like this then that meant he didn’t make you uncomfortable
Honestly he was so used to the way you made him feel at this point that loving you from afar felt like second nature
Being friends with you was enough if he could keep loving you like this
The waiter came by and asked if it was one check or two
And Hongjoong was fully prepared to pay once again
But you beat him to it
You were already prepared with your card and everything
“I owe you for last time, remember?” you told him with a cheeky grin
He shook his head
“You don’t owe me anything”
“Well then next time it’s on you”
Hongjoong started to smile again
“Next time?”
“Well, yeah” you said with a shrug, now a little bashful “This was fun. We should keep doing it”
“It is fun” he agreed with a laugh “It’s nice to hang out with people outside of school for once”
You laughed at that
“Oh boy tell me about it. Nobody told me that teaching would ruin my social life”
And things just kind of continued like that for a while
Before you had come to the school, Hongjoong had lowkey felt like he was kind of going nowhere with his life
Any time he spent at school outside of his contract hours felt like an infringement on his personal time
Or not even at school, just away from home
He had been hoping that taking a high school position would give him back a little bit of the passion for teaching that he was losing
He hadn’t even been teaching that long it’s just that the profession really is like that
Indescribably rewarding and incredibly draining all at the same time
(Especially these days. Sometimes you really wonder if it’s worth it)
But having something to look forward to every day besides a favorite class ended up being what he needed to love his job wholeheartedly again
It wasn’t just you he had fallen in love with
He had also found new friends in an unlikely place
The math department was like family and he enjoyed their company dearly
But that weirdo phys ed teacher and obnoxious history teacher had turned into excellent friends frighteningly fast
Sometimes they joined you and Hongjoong on your dinner outings
And honestly it was such a blast
An amendment to my previous statement about teachers being teachers because they don’t like talking to other adults:
Other teachers often do not count as other adults
Sometimes they do when you have to have grown up conversations
But gossiping about students does not count as grown up conversation
There were some eighth graders that all four of you had
Hongjoong not currently but he’d had them for previous classes and they were now in your class
Was it a little embarrassing as 20 somethings to have your main source of gossip be preteens?
Yeah but oh man there is nothing like finding out which of your students are lying to their other teachers about the work they need to do
Or what they’re like in other classes
(You and Hongjoong, and sometimes Wooyoung, tended to have very different opinions about some students than San did so it was double fascinating)
Who they’re friends with outside of your class
Or crushes they have on each other
Basically if you spend every day around preteens you gossip like them too
It was now November and starting to get uncomfortably cold outside
So San had offered his home as a little gathering space for you all to order food and hang out
It was almost like a little Friendsgiving
“Any of you have (male student name, obnoxious connotation)?” Wooyoung asked, taking a sip of his soda
You immediately scoffed
“I’m about to write an email home about that kid”
Hongjoong was surprised
Annoying kids existed in every class but you usually had something nice to say about them at first at least before you got into the bad behavior
He hadn’t had this particular student but he was intrigued as to why he annoyed you so much
Wooyoung and San also both looked surprised
“He’s great in gym—like cooperative, doesn’t do stupid stuff too often—” San said “but that doesn’t usually mean anything about how they are in math class”
“No he’s great in history too” Wooyoung added “finishes all his work on time, helps his friends with theirs if he finishes”
Your eye might have twitched a little bit
You let out an unamused laugh and crossed your arms over your chest
Hongjoong was fascinated and quite enamored with this new side of you
“If he has time to help his friends then he should be working on the seven late assignments I’ve been reminding him about. He hasn’t turned in anything for two weeks”
Wooyoung gasped and covered his mouth
“You’re joking”
“I’ve talked to him about it twice and I warned him if I had to remind him a third time then I would email his parents” you said, shaking your head “Like I asked him if he’s understanding the material, if he’s got something going on at home, if he needs some help, and he’s giving me nothing to go off of”
Wooyoung smiled devilishly
“He’s been lying to me, then. I ask him every day if he has other classes to do stuff for and he says no. I will absolutely be getting on him about that”
San shook his head
“Teenagers” he sighed
Everyone nodded and repeated what he’d said
“Teenagers.”
After a moment of silence, Hongjoong spoke up
“How about (female student name, pleasant connotation)?”
The mood lifted immediately and everyone gave their own version of the word “aww”
“She is the highlight of my whole day” you said
“Seriously she’s so polite and she tries so hard even when she’s having a hard time” Wooyoung agreed
“Super athletic too” San added
“Ooh and (male student name, pleasant connotation)?” you said to another chorus of agreement “He’s kind of a punk sometimes but he’s another one that always does his best”
Hongjoong smiled
Complaining was fun, but he loved the light in your eyes when you talked about the parts of the job that you loved
Anyway as I said it was November and the Before Christmas faction of teachers was starting to get nervous because there was no sign of anything happening
They saw you walk out together more than usual but they didn’t know that you were meeting up outside of school and stuff
The kids were also more riled up about it than usual
To the point where Hongjoong wondered if the other teachers were inciting chaos on purpose
It was getting bad enough that one of his classes almost failed a test across the board—on a unit about rounding and converting fractions to decimals of all things
As in the easiest math ever
So Mr. Kim had to resort to drastic measures
At the beginning of all his classes, he drew a box on the edge of the whiteboard
“This is the nonsense box” he explained with a teacherly smile
That is to say frustrated but still filled with love for his students
“Every time one of you is talking about anything that is not related to class, a tally mark goes in the box. Each tally mark represents an extra fifteen seconds you get to sit in your seat after the bell rings”
A chorus of protest arose
“I don’t want to hear it” Mr. Kim shook his head “How many of you are planning on retaking last Friday’s test?”
About half of the hands in the room came up sheepishly
“Exactly. It’s because we’re constantly off topic that no one is able to listen and learn in here. We can do better, okay?”
And then immediately from the back of the room
“Ooh, Miss (L/N) just passed in the hall!!!”
And chorus of “Ooooooh”
Whether it was true or not, Hongjoong was happy to draw his first tally mark without a word
Just that same teacherly smile
Another round of protest came and he drew another one
After the third tally mark, they shut up
“Good. Let’s talk about coefficients. Has anyone heard that word before?”
Once again I will say it was November
And the month after November is December
And December is the month of Christmas
Not just Christmas break
But Christmas itself
And that meant that Hongjoong now
After coming back from a brief Thanksgiving break
Had only a few weeks to find you a Christmas present
Now he wasn’t thoughtless like this wasn’t the first time it had crossed his mind
It had just stressed him out wondering if he would have the guts to confess his feelings for you or if he would be outed somehow first
Plus in case y’all didn’t know teaching (especially teaching around the holidays) is stressful
He just imagined Christmas as this far off date that was too good to ever come
And so he hadn’t even had time to think about what to get you
Something for your classroom?
Something for your home?
A cute accessory?
A fun math shirt?
Not a gift card though that was far too impersonal
Nothing seemed good enough for you
If he were to deliver his feelings with a gift like any of these, it felt insufficient
Most lunches the last bit of November and the first week of December
(If not spent pestering you)
He spent fretting over his Amazon cart with his head in his hands
And then the most unfortunate miracle occurred
The heaters toward the math hall decided working at full capacity was a waste of tax dollars
And the weather was shaping up to be quite uncomfortable
Everyone started to bring blankets and stuff but it was never quite enough
Your classroom was especially cold, since it was the farthest down the hall
So Hongjoong was gifted an opportunity
He went and found one of those soft and cozy electric blankets
In a color he assumed to be your favorite considering how much you wore it and how many of the little trinkets around your classroom were that color
And he packaged it like he had meant to give it to you for Christmas anyway
Then he brought it for you the next day
You were sitting at your desk in your full winter outdoor gear with a blanket that did look cozy but thankfully was not electric
And your teeth were practically chattering as you waved hello
He still hadn’t taken off his coat or his gloves either actually
He set the present on your desk
“I was saving this for Christmas but I think you might need it more now” he told you with a grin
Your curiosity was suddenly piqued
You opened the gift cautiously, glancing up at him every few seconds
But as soon as you felt the material of the blanket, you perked up
And upon discovering that it was electric you could have cried
“I haven’t been able to feel my fingers since last week” you told him gratefully “Seriously I was trying to figure out how many space heaters I would need to buy to survive the winter”
“The department head has one in her classroom” he said “If you grab your old blanket and your laptop then you can let your new blanket heat up here while we hang out over there”
What a beautiful suggestion
The department head raised her eyebrow at the two of you coming in with blankets
But she smiled too when she saw you settling down in front of her heater
“Don’t tell anyone” she said “but sometimes I take a nap over there during lunch”
“Oh I see exactly why” you agreed, sitting cross-legged and setting your computer in your lap “I can literally feel my bones thawing out”
Hongjoong settled down a respectable distance from you
But he thought someone else was pranking him when he felt a blanket drape over his shoulders
He looked around, startled, and then he realized it was the other side of your blanket
You had thrown your blanket over him to share, even though he had one of his own
And now you were pulling his arm to get him to scoot closer to you
Was this a dream??
He would not be happy if his alarm rang
But no it was real and he happily obliged
You were sitting shoulder to shoulder again
Just like at the professional development workshop
Except this time it was so warm and cozy and there was definitely a much less professional vibe
The department head raised her eyebrow at you once again
But Hongjoong was way too enamored with your shy smile to notice
After just a few minutes in this cozy little haven
Your time was unfortunately cut short
Not by students arriving to school
But by Wooyoung poking his head into the classroom
“Oh I’ve been looking everywhere for you guys”
He stepped into the classroom and greeted its owner accordingly
She nodded as if to allow him permission to enter
“They have hot chocolate down in the teachers lounge” Wooyoung informed them “I figured you icicles back here in the freezer rooms would want some but it looks like you were hiding a—” he looked down at the two of you skeptically “campfire back here”
Wooyoung clearly thought he meant something by that but no one else knew what he was trying to say
So his last comment went ignored
“Do you want hot chocolate?” Hongjoong asked you “I can go get some for us”
“No it’s okay I’ll go with you” 
Oh Wooyoung saw exactly what was going on here
Hongjoong did not
Hongjoong was a little confused—was his help becoming an awkward burden to you?
While Wooyoung saw the truth
You just wanted the excuse to walk with him
Now Wooyoung had two choices
He could step back and let you two walk down together, maybe say something to speed this math teacher romance along
Or he could third wheel
And who was Wooyoung if he didn’t pass up the chance to annoy?
Plus he had taken an oath once he started collecting bets that he wouldn’t try to swing the competition one way or another
And since telling you about the hot chocolate while you were together felt like pushing the competition faster, it felt right to pull it back a bit by getting in between you for a few minutes
So he offered hands to both of you to help you off the floor
“Let’s all go together then” he said “You should also find out if your campsite director wants any”
“Campsite director?” Hongjoong asked, shutting his computer
You also closed your computer and set it aside, looking around to figure out who Wooyoung was talking about
“Your gracious host this morning” he clarified, giving the department head a charming little wave
You both took Wooyoung’s hands at the same time and almost pulled him down with you in the process of standing up
As you straightened your pants, you asked the department head if she wanted you to bring her back any hot chocolate, to which she responded yes please
Wooyoung insisted on walking in the middle
And Hongjoong wondered if all of the patience he had acquired as a middle school teacher was going to be spent on not wringing this guy’s neck this morning
Fortunately Mr. Jung acted enough like one of Mr. Kim’s students that he was able to pretend he was one and just let it go
Unfortunately by the time they got back to the department head’s classroom kids were starting to show up so that was the end of artificial campfire cuddle time
But there was a silent agreement as you picked up your blankets and computers that you would be doing this again sometime
The first few weeks of December didn’t necessarily fly by but they did go by quickly in hindsight if that makes sense
And before everyone knew it
Christmas break was upon you
And there was no further progression of the math department couple
The Before Christmas teachers had gotten antsier and antsier right up until the day before break started
But thankfully no one had been worried enough to interfere
Hongjoong decided to stay in his classroom that day
(As if he didn’t stay in his classroom every day)
Because people had been giving him disappointed looks all over the school and he was tired of it
Even the principal had made a trip to Hongjoong’s classroom the Friday afternoon before everyone left
Just to tell him how disappointed he was that he hadn’t had the guts to make a move even when he knew the principal’s precious money was on the line
And ask him if you were secretly dating already and just didn’t want to make a big deal about it
But ultimately to wish him luck and a nice break
A few minutes after he left, you popped into his classroom
You had your bag and your coat and it looked like you were ready to head home
“Are you so ready to get out of here?” you asked
He stopped immediately in the middle of his task and slammed his laptop shut
Contract hours had ended a whole minute ago and he had wasted a whole minute still doing work? On break?
“Say no more” he said, standing up and putting his coat on “We should have left five minutes ago”
“Wholeheartedly agree” you replied “I would have but the principal visited me and I felt like I had to look like I was doing something”
Hongjoong froze
The principal had visited you too?
Why?
For what purpose?
Betting purposes?
This technically didn’t still count as Before Christmas Break right?
“That’s weird haha he came and visited me too, like ten minutes ago” he said with the normalest most unbothered tone he could manage
(He tried)
(His voice was not quite an octave higher than usual)
(Which is considerable improvement since it’s usually an octave and a half)
“Maybe he’s just making rounds” you said with a shrug “It’s nice to see how much he cares about this school. Definitely one of the better principals I’ve worked with”
Hongjoong relaxed perhaps too visibly
“Yeah if you need a guy to have your back he’s got it no question”
“Anyway if you don’t have any plans for the day after Christmas you should spend it with me”
If Hongjoong had been drinking something he would have choked
Even if he’d had plans in the first place he would have canceled them for you
“My day is wide open” he said “As is almost all of my break”
You smiled and his stomach did a flip
He wondered if it was ever going to stop doing that
He hoped not
“Mine too. If you’re bored, you can probably text me and I won’t be doing anything”
Was it cringe that he was now looking for technically his second Christmas present for you?
Yeah maybe but that was his lifestyle now
To quote N.Flying’s Lovefool “if they call me a lovefool it’s okay as long as it’s for your sake”
Even if you didn’t see him that way that was A-Okay
Anyway he found some cute little math-themed trinkets like pi earrings and a right triangle pin that said “I’m always right”
Because actually who are math teachers if they don’t like puns
And the morning after Christmas Day he wrapped them up all nice for you
And he got ready to meet you at a little restaurant you now frequented together
But this was actually like the first time he was meeting you on a whole day off so he had to figure out how to dress not like a teacher but still kinda nice
He had no idea
All of his pants were teacher pants
His shirts? All teacher shirts
He was way too good at dressing for his job
So he wore jeans instead of his usual khakis and hoped that was different enough?
He also layered one of his graph paper teacher shirts with a plain t-shirt underneath and didn’t button it up
He looked himself up and down in his mirror, trying different poses to make sure he looked like a Normal Guy
In the end he decided his hair was the only issue
He only knew how to style it in a teacherly fashion
And leaving it unstyled wasn’t an option
So he looked up some tutorials on some easy styles but he just could not see himself as anything other than a math teacher
So he gave up and just prayed that he looked okay
You looked perfect of course
The difference was subtle in theory but the way you dressed, the way you did your hair and makeup, it made for a world of difference
Oh you looked so gorgeous he was never going to get over it
Your eyes practically sparkled when you met him out front and man he thought before that he couldn’t be more in love with you but he was wrong
You did seem a little more awkward today than usual and he couldn’t figure out why
Like you almost seemed nervous
What for? It was just him
You got your food and he suddenly remembered the gifts in his pocket
“Oh!” he exclaimed, pulling them out “I know I gave you the blanket a few weeks ago but I found these and I knew you had to have them. Merry double Christmas?”
You covered your mouth to hide your laughter and your bite of food
“That’s so funny because I found something for you too”
And you pulled a little package out of your bag
Down bad wasn’t even a good descriptor anymore and neither was head over heels like there had to be a stronger silly description of being in love and if there wasn’t it would have to be invented for him
You had found him a shirt that said “Math is hard. So is life. Get over it.”
(Tbh an actual shirt that I own)
And he promised you he would be wearing it the day you all got back from break
As for his silly little gifts you adored them
You put the pi earrings in immediately and started brainstorming what do do with the other things out loud
He could not have been happier with himself
And then you caught him staring at you
You paused in your excited little ramblings
He sat up a little straighter, wondering what to say next
But you smiled and looked down at your plate
“You’re pretty cute, you know that?” you told him, unable to meet his eyes for more than a second
In front of you, his first instinct was to deny the possibility and he followed it without thinking
“Eh, no I’m not—not in comparison to you, anyway”
Hmm if he wanted to keep his feelings secret then that was not the thing to say
But you deserved to know it
Not just cute but beautiful
Heartstoppingly so
You took the compliment well anyway
“Have you ever thought…” you began, trailing off
You watched him as he waited for you to continue, his eyes wide and curious
“Never mind” you dismissed with a casual wave of your hand
“No hey what were you going to say?” he asked
“Nothing I just had a weird thought for a second”
“No no come on! You know I wouldn’t judge you for anything”
You hesitated again and he could see that same nervousness he’d noticed before
“Have you ever thought…I don’t know” you put your elbows up on the table “of us as more than friends? Like dating maybe?”
Once again he was going to be very upset if his alarm clock went off now
But even if this was a dream, there was no harm in saying it out loud
“Every day since the day I met you” he answered honestly
You blinked like you didn’t believe him
“You’d better not be joking because I mean this like I’m risking our whole professional relationship here—”
And then he realized
You literally had no idea about him
Genuinely no clue that the whole school knew exactly how you had him wrapped around your finger
Except you
“—on the slightest chance that you might feel the same way—”
“Hey” he stopped you softly “I would never joke about how I feel about you”
Embarrassment began to set in for both of you
“Seriously,” he said, holding back a laugh, “you can ask any of my students, any of the teachers. I think you were the last one to find out that I have a massive crush on you”
“Oh no you’re kidding!” you exclaimed, your hands coming up to hide your face
“I really wish I were—Wooyoung has two rounds of bets going with the teachers about when and how we would end up dating. It’s just about me though—I don’t think anyone else knew about you”
You buried your face further in your hands
“That is so embarrassing” you whined “Seriously I might kill Wooyoung when we get back from break”
“I’ll help you” he promised
You ended up deciding to tell the other teachers on account of the bets they had placed on you
But you asked them not to tell the kids
Hongjoong was comfortable dealing with them at this point and he didn’t see the point in subjecting you to the attention he got about it
Speaking of the bets
No one won any of them technically
The two categories were before/after Christmas break and you notice/he confesses
And since you confessed during Christmas break well
As tempting as it would have been to say that you two deserved the money
(Especially on those teacher salaries)
You just made Wooyoung give it back to everyone who had put money down
And honestly? Very little about your at school dynamic changed
The kids still teased Hongjoong every day about his obvious soft spot for you
But he didn’t care because he knew better than they did anyway
You did actually start to notice now that kids were gossiping about you and Hongjoong
And it was really funny actually
Especially when he stopped by your classroom and the kids went dead silent watching you
Or when you left his classroom and you heard the kids explode with their weirdo little preteen comments from just outside in the hallway
Wooyoung insisted on telling you about every time you were mentioned in his classroom
This included the story about the girl rejecting a boy because quote no one can like anyone as much as Mr. Kim likes Miss (L/N) enquote
And you about died from laughter and embarrassment
Because how had you missed every single sign thrown your way??
It was so obvious now that you were dating him and you knew why he spent as much time as physically and contractually possible in your classroom
Because like I said very little about your at school dynamic changed
He still treated you almost exactly the same way
Except now if you were having a bad day he could hug you and kiss you on the head and tell you that everything would be okay and you were a good teacher
And if he got cold he could come to your classroom and have you sit on his lap while you shared your blanket
You were very very careful with any displays of affection by the way like it was only behind a locked door that you would even dare
Because firstly unprofessional
A literal breach of the code of ethics more likely than not
And secondly what if the kids saw you???
The other teachers were whatever like you didn’t really want them to walk in on you either but at least they were other adults
But the kids??? 
There were already too many rumors flying around the school about you and they did not need a even whispering of confirmation
The end of that came of course when you got engaged like a year or so later idk and you showed up to school with a ring on your finger and the kids went wild
“Mr. Kim she has a ring!!!”
“Mr. Kim what are you going to do?? She’s gonna get married!!”
“Mr. Kim you must be heartbroken”
You had prepared for this together
You had known it was coming so you knew you had to be ready for the chaos it was going to cause
So you had decided that he would also start wearing a ring to match even before the wedding
So to all his very concerned students he got to hold up his hand and say in the coolest most chic manner possible
“And who do you think gave her the ring huh?”
It was like setting off a nuclear bomb of middle school gossip but it was so worth it
Anyway breaking the chronological flow going back in time because this needed to be the last scene
The cutest change with your at school dynamic now that you were dating was now you could exchange secret messages on sticky notes with the papers you traded
He started it by handing you a test key to check with a sticky note on the top that you assumed was a label for what the test was
But on closer inspection it was a pickup line
“The limit of my love for you is like the limit of 1/x as it approaches 0; it doesn’t exist”
So you wrote back on the same sticky note “well mine is like 1/x^2 and it approaches infinity so there” and handed it back to him once you checked his key
Not to be outdone he wrote you a new note
“Girl are you a 30° angle inscribed in a circle because you’re acute-y pi”
Oh that one was bad
You had to give him something worse
“If we’re both math teachers, how come we have so much chemistry?”
You handed him that one in between classes
And as he read it he had to disguise his sudden laughter as a cough because there were kids around and they didn’t need to be curious about what he was laughing at
His next sticky note had a crease down the middle horizontally
128√e980
You recognized it immediately but you folded it in half to reveal the secret message anyway
“I love you”
So you gave him back “I hope you like fractions because you’re my other half”
You stored all these away in a little file on your computer titled “Valentine’s Day Math Jokes”
Maybe for some future Valentine’s Day activity
But mostly just to keep them all somewhere safe where you could look at them any time you wanted
Without some kid being like “oooh Miss (L/N) whatcha lookin at”
Your favorite note from him was about as simple and dorky as they came
Much like Hongjoong himself actually
Simplify 2x+6i<2(x+9u)
First you distributed the 2 on the right
2x+6i<2x+18u
Then since there was a 2x on both sides, you could subtract them and cancel them
6i<18u
Then divide by 6
And the answer made you smile every time
i<3u
(so I know how I wrote this so fast actually. I just have a goal to write 250+ words every day and uh pretty much every day of the month of January ended up dedicated to this one. Someone said Math Teacher Hongjoong and I (graduated in December with a math teaching degree, student taught in a middle school for 4 months) went feral over it whoops)
Masterlist
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theambitiouswoman · 2 months
Text
The brain has a reward system that reinforces behaviors by producing pleasure sensations.
Key components include the Ventral Tegmental Area for dopamine, the nucleus accumbens for pleasure reception, the prefrontal cortex for decision making, the amygdala for emotional processing, and the hippocampus for memory formation.
This system is activated by stimuli through dopamine release.
This is how the brain's reward system works, for example, if you set a plan to run 10 miles:
1. Before the run, the brain anticipates rewards like achievement and health benefits, motivating you to start.
2. Starting the run releases dopamine, encouraging continuation. Despite getting tired, anticipating the reward keeps you motivated with ongoing dopamine release.
Prolonged activity releases endorphins, reducing pain and creating euphoria (runner's high).
3. Finishing the run releases a significant amount of dopamine, creating pleasure and satisfaction.
4. The hippocampus forms a memory of the positive experience, reinforcing the behavior.
5. The pleasurable memory makes future runs more appealing, motivating you to repeat the behavior (The Positive Feedback loop).
A positive feedback loop in the brain's reward system is when the outcome of a behavior reinforces the behavior itself, making it more likely to be repeated. Each repetition strengthens the memory and association, creating a self reinforcing cycle.
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