#positive nihilism tho… i can get behind that

[honeysucklethornsandalligtrhorns]

i hate nihilism. the fuck you mean there’s no meaning to life??? we are supposed to lay in beams of sunlight and soak it up like a kitty cat!!

[strange-ghoul]

Preacher Terzo HC/AU Brain Dump Au inspired by the "He Is" music video and my obsession to make everyone a villain at some point.

I wrote this so I can have all my thoughts and ideas in order to write a fanfic for this AU later. Still figuring out the plot rn tho so rip. This is incomplete, but again it's just a brain dump.

-=-

Headcanons -=-

He's got a major God complex, obviously.

Terzo is hands off. He gets his ghouls to do any dirty work. He only deals with people personally if it's an intimate issue.

He was a little off before Papacy, but when he became Papa, he went off the rails completely.

He's very particular about his looks, spending hours to make sure he's groomed properly and looks nice before interacting with anyone.

He wears shades to watch people when they don't realize he's watching. He'll stand at the front of the church looking one directing while his eyes are focused somewhere else.

The glasses hide his emotions as well.

Terzo has large mood swings, making him one of the most unpredictable people.

He's rather physically aggressive with everyone in the abbey, but a few siblings suggest it could just be he's never experienced a gentle touch.

Materialistic and vain

[nsfw] He's a selfish lover with one-night stands, not caring for their own pleasure as long as he got off. That doesn't mean he doesn't know how to make someone feel good however.

[nsfw] Terzo will use sexual pleasure to get his way easily. Making people swear things they would never otherwise swear to just to orgasm. He knows how to work the male and female body; he just needs the motivation to.

[nsfw] 9 outta 10 times, he's a top, with very few being able to see past his persona and dominate him.

-=- AU/Storyline, Arcs, etc -=-

There weren't many disruptions in the abbey, but when there was, everyone knew something was happening. Just not what.

There was one night where there was a lot of shouting in the cathedral, and one sibling went to peak to figure out what was going on. When they came back, they were so shaken up it was days until they finally said what they saw. Terzo completely cover in blood having a screaming match with Sister Imperator, with a supposedly dead Papa Nihil.

Nobody believes the sibling and assumes there was some family drama, but nobody has seen Sister Imperator or Papa Nihil since that day. That sibling has long since disappeared, and nobody asks questions.

-=-=-

Copia stands behind Terzo at all times, working dutifully and- supposedly - without mercy.

A sibling was once worried and tried to talk to Copia about Terzo's mania and he responded with a wave, "You've got nothing to worry about. Papa isn't focused on the siblings of sin, I promise. Just play your cards right, si?"

That sibling has gone missing.

Copia has a few screws loose, but he's much more down to Earth than his boss.

Many go to him with their woes, as he's seen as the most trusted member of the church.

He keeps to himself mostly, not even interacting with Terzo as much as he should

Though occasionally he'll lean down to Terzo's ear and whisper something and the other will simply glare at him as he return to his original position.

Copia is as manipulative as Terzo, but he's more subtle.

[nsfw] The papa and cardinal have a lot of sexual tension; however, they hate each other thoroughly.

[nsfw] Copia is one of the few people able to dominate the anti-pope and make him beg, though neither would admit that. Copia would lose his job and Papa would have a ruined reputation.

-=-=-

[burning-bubble-tea]

Sometimes I wonder why the world is so cruel and then am swiftly answered by my social justice degree.

It really is difficult to care and be compassionate to others under systems of oppression.

This isn’t a lamentation of some human condition that we are all evil. I really do hope that the increased interconnected internet and the accessibility of knowledge will bring about more pockets and places of kindness out into the open.

I know we all know that the internet is toxic or whatever but whatever, cynicism and nihilism is boring. And I hate being told that I’m filled with copeium for thinking that. The black pit of despair has taken friends and almost family and myself so why the fuck do you think it’s intelligent and cool to take the nihilism road.

There is joy to be found in spite of the burn out and war crimes. If people in literal fucking war zones going through a genocide can have hope and find joy, who the fuck are we to be cynical and nihilistic. Fuck anyone that says we should just nuke gaza. Have some fucking hope. It’s not copeium. We will not forget that a genocide is happening. South Africa was able to end apartheid, Palestinians will be free. But it takes fucking work to decolonize and if you’re giving up get the fuck out of the way. This isn’t a rant post about people who are burnt out tho, this is a rant post who actively choose to not care. We can’t think that the leopards won’t eat our faces.

To get needlessly personal despite social justice being more than just the individual, I hope for collective liberation because of that quote A.R. Moxon made. “Meet me in the middle, said the unjust, you take a step towards him and he takes a step back, meet me in the middle says the unjust man”. I cannot not care about oppressed people around the world because I know if I did, the leopards will eat my face eventually.

People get respectability and shut the door behind them. But no one is safe. Even if you’re a cisgendered white guy eventually you won’t be privileged enough to not have your face eaten. Im a queer and trans person of colour. I know my position, I hear the potentially genocidal language being used in reference to trans people. I’m not transgenderism. Palestinians are not Hamas. I am not spreading a conspiracy agenda. Hamas is not hiding in hospitals. We will not be free until we are all free.

[danishstrongstyle-blog]

100 questions

1. List 5 things you want to do before the year ends.

Get this Tumblr thing going

Start my diet and work out more

Read some more Pieget

Start cleaning 

Get more positive

2. What color are you pants right now?

Grey

3. Favorite motivational quote.

“You’re much stronger than you think you are. Trust me.”

4. When was the last time you drank coffee?

Yesterday. It was glorious.

5. What was the last thing you ate?

Ceasar salad

6. Favorite animal.

Bear, wolverine or wolf. Can’t decide

7. Favorite song.

”Short Change Hero” - The Heavy

8. Last movie you watched?

‘’Split’’

9. Any turn ons?

Curves, eyes, tattoos, selfrespect 10. Any turn offs?

Ignorance 11. List 4 big words off of the top of your head.

Hate

Respect

Whole

Future

12. What are some meaningful movies?

”Boondock Saints” (yep), “Kongekabale”, “Pumping iron” and “The Wrestler”.

13. 2 most important people in your life right now?

My mom and brother.

14. What are 3 things you want to do before the month ends?

Cleaning my apartment

Finding some music for my bus rides

Trimming my beard

15. When was the last time you read a good book?

Thursday.

16. How long do you study for usually, if you study?

Hours and hours.

17. Do you have any nicknames?

Kaas and Quark.

18. Favorite kind of perfume? (fruity, alluring, etc.)

Don’t have any to be honest

19. Do you have any international friends / friends who live out of state?

Would’nt call them friends-friends but yeah; America, UK, Iceland and Rumania.

20. What is something unique that you do every single day?

My morning rutine; make breakfast, pack my back and putting on my shoes; right shoe then left.

21. If there was a movie based on your life, what would it be called?

”Through pain and tragedy, he became king”

22. When was the last time you bought a gift for someone?

Over a month ago; bought food and coffee for a friend in need

23. Are you a shopaholic?

Sure, when I have the money for it

24. What are some songs that always make you feel better?

Anything by Mötley Crüe

25. List 3 activities that you can only enjoy by yourself.

Shaving my head

Making wrestling promos

Gaming for more than 3 hours

26. If you could live in any biome (and survive) which biome would you live in?

Somewhere with snow, ice and forest

27. How do you like being roused in the morning?

By a girlfriend: Kiss on the forehead, quick rub and a ‘’good morning’’

Some one else: *Get up, you lazy fuck’’

28. How was your day? What did you do?

It was good, I guess. Played Destiny 2 and listened to my playlist on YT while I wrote this.

29. What did your last text message say?

I cant say that. I have confidentiality because of my work as a childen’s educator (pædagog)

30. Do you respond to texts quickly?

Yes, it happens.

31. Who was the last person you called?

My former foster parents.

32. List 5 things that are on your wish list.

Long sleeved shirts

Tattoo

Beard oil and products

Wrestlemania tickets

More friends. True friends.

33. If you were famous, what do you think you would be famous for?

A loyal anchor.

34. Winter or summer?

Winter.

35. What is a quality that all people should have?

Common sense.

36. If you could have a large collection of one item, what would that item be?

Long sleeved shirts from prowrestlingtees

37. What have you been thinking about lately?

Getting that first tattoo

38. What is the secret to a happy life?

Follow your dreams no matter what.

39. What are some phrases you say often?

”Fair”, “I don’t give a shit”, “Sure, what time?”.

40. Favorite food?

It changes but right now? Tartlets (Tarteletter in danish)

41. List 3 wishes.

Losing weight

A Driver’s License

Finding love

42. What are some of your greatest fears?

Being forgotten

43. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?

Nothing, Mr. Officer...

44. Most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen (in real life)?

Iceland or Azat of Southern France. Or the Alphes. Scotland perhaps...? Fuck.

45. Spicy food:Like or dislike?

Hell yeah

46. Scary movies:Like or dislike?

Sure. Been a horror fan for years

47. Do you like to travel?

Yes. Even tho it can be a pain in the ass

48. Any regrets?

Nope. They made me who i am; a broken, cheery lad

49. Do you like rain?

Love it. Nothing better.

50. What do you spend most of your money on?

Pre-made salads and energy drinks.

51. Would you rather visit the past or the future?

The past. Being a Whoian I would love to see old London and Venice,

52. Favorite clothing store?

’Din Tøjmand’ or ‘Spejder Sport’ for my work clothes.

53. What is the best advice you can give to those who are feeling down?

Depends on the situation but will tell them the truth, always. Letting them know what great things they have already done.

54. How often do you think about your future? Does it scare you?

Read about nihilism the other that and the fact that it made sense in some crazy way, scared me. But no.. Love embracing the unknown.

55. What angers you the most?

When people use fellings instead of facts.

56. When was the last time you got majorly angry?

When I watched “The Punisher” and thinking about the bad treatment of PTSD victims. That and the corruption of the systems

57. When was the last time you got really sad?

When I lost a future with the most wonderful woman because I’m not a christian

58. Are you good at lying?

Can be..

59. What foreign language would you like to learn?

Spanish and japanse

60. How many languages can you speak and what are they?

English (scottish accent too) and danish

61. How often do you go to parties? If you don’t, what do you do instead?

Not often. Prefer a priavte soummering.

62. What books do you plan to read this year?

”Classical and modern educational theories” and “The Explosive child”. And the Lars Ulrich book as well.

63. Do you have breakfast every morning?

Try to, have to. Oatmeal. 64. Tell us a secret.

The secret in a chili is adding some sweet

65. How many concerts have you been to?

33½. Motley Crue and Ozzy Osbourne were crazy

66. Last hug?

Last hug untill next time

67. Who knows you better than anyone else?

My former ex. Not friends anymore tho

68. Baths or showers?

Hot, steamy showers..

69. Do you think you’re ambitious?

Depends on the subject

70. What song is stuck in your head?

Read my favorite song.

71. Countries you’ve visited?

Norway x 5, Sweden x 2, Iceland x 2, Romania x 2, France, Britan, Scotland, Ireland, north and south, Greece, Luxenbourg, Czech republic, Turkey, Germany.

72. What do you most value in your friends?

Loyalty, common sense and being them selves no matter what

73. What helps you to sleep better?

Sex or tea. Fuck it. Both.

74. What is the most money you have ever held in your hand?

11.000 dkr 75. What makes you nervous?

Performing

76. What is the best advice you’ve ever been given?

‘’Bad biscuits make the baker broke, bro’’ - Jake

77. Is it easier to forgive or forget?

Forgive.

78. First mobile phone?

Can’t remember.

79. Strangest dream?

My old foster parents tried to drive through a tornado, so I jumped out of the car and they sang christan songs going into the eye of the thing. I ran to a old house and met a wrestler, Luke Gallows and we bought a bottle of whisky.

80. Best dream?

Eh... Being the king, baby

81. Who is the smartest person you know?

Depends on the subject but one of my oldest friends from bording school.

82. Who is the prettiest person on tumblr?

How the fuck should I know? I’ve just created this thing

83. Do you miss anyone right now?

No. Listing to rock and drinking coffee. I’m good

84. Who do you love? Why?

What is love? (Sorry..) My mom, brother and best friend.

85. Do you like sharing?

Yep. Strangers or friends, does not matter

86. What was the last picture you took with your phone?

A picture of a model used in Destiny 2 for builds.

87. Is there a reason behind everything that happens?

Sure. 

88. Favorite genre of music?

Rock. Metal. Heavy. Trash. Rock n roll, man..

89. If you had one word to describe yourself, what would it be?

Antriot (a sweet idiot)

90. Describe your life in 5 words.

Broken

Awesome

Messy

Honest

Fuck

91. Describe the world in 4 words.

Hate

Love

Liars

World

92. Craziest thing you’ve ever done?

Running in a swimming hall, only wearing a g-string

Falling in love with my best friend.

You pick one

93. First three songs in your favorite playlist?

”Short Change Hero” - The Heavy

”Paranoid” - Ozzy Osbourne/Black Sabbath

”Same Ol’ Situation” - Motley Crue

94. Are you more creative or logical?

Creative.

95. Would you rather lie or hurt someone with the truth?

Hurt someone telling the truth. Soak it up, embrace, move on.

96. What are you most proud of?

When I changed my life, starting at my old boarding school.

No more crime, no more hating, no more darkness.

97. What personality trait do you admire in other people?

Honesty

98. When you imagine yourself as really, really relaxed and happy, what are you doing?

Creating a playlist or preparing a meal

99. How do you usually start a conversation?

‘’What do you think about....’’

100. What is the best news you could hear right now?

“Hey baby, you made it. They’re waiting for you”.