#praying this shows up in the tags bc i have trouble with asks not doing that and i put a lot of work into answering 🙏🏼

[kenobihater]

Sorry, maybe this is obvious and I'm just clueless but what separates a good portrayal of Cat Witchers vs not? I'm kinda confused

Even though ableism against mentally ill people is baked into the lore, I don't think it's too obvious bc of how pervasive ableism is in our culture, so don't worry, you aren't alone in your confusion! As a mentally ill man, I didn't even realize what struck me as wrong about the whole Cat School madness thing until I read some fics that featured it heavily, so you're far from the only person not to notice it. That said, just because the lore is ableist doesn't excuse people doubling down in ableist ways in their fanworks. We shouldn't give ourselves or other people a free pass simply because the source material has bad implications, instead we should take accountability and tread carefully whenever engaging with Cat Witcher lore. Now, this is going to be Long and written for the dual and often overlapping audiences of fanwork creators and consumers, so apologies that the rest will be under a cut!

I've already written up a couple posts about ableism in regards to the Cat School, primarily focusing on fandom, but I wouldn't recommend those bc I not only focused a bit narrowly on mostly psychosis, but I also mistakenly identified dissociation as a form of psychosis in one of the posts bc that's what I'd been told by an actual mental health professional. F's in chat for me I guess, thanks Susan! Anyways I'll summarize and expand upon the contents of those posts here. Also, I don't know if I ever say in that post that the lore itself is straight up ableist, and I'll explain why in a moment. Now, it isn't inherently ableist to depict someone with severe mental illness, just like it isn't inherently ableist to depict anyone with any severe disability, but the way in which it's excecuted is what makes it bad or not. Basically, the whole "Cats are CRAAAAAZY!!1!" is ableist in excecution because it puts a value judgement on said madness, implying that they are both more violent and morally bankrupt because of their madness, whether or not it's linked with the mutagens (I think there's some wiggle room here canonically as to whether or not the mental illness is from mutagens or whether it's due to or greatly exacerbated by picking candidates who are prone to mental illness, but while that's fascinating, this post is gonna be long enough so I'll perhaps cover that in another one). Portraying Cats as more violent or morally bankrupt simply because they are mentally ill is bad, end of story. If you want specific examples of this, literally just go to the wiki, this post doesn't need a plethora of citations to pad it out even more.

Now that I've established the lore itself as being ableist, let's discuss theoretical specifics of their illnesses, and what that means for how we portray them faithfully! The Cats aren't easily identifiable as having any one mental illness. They're said to be "psychopathic", an outdated, pejorative term for people with antisocial personality disorder. Gaetan reports symptoms that could be identified with intermittent explosive disorder. The wiki says Cat Witchers have volatile emotions, which could be bipolar coding. The fandom also enjoys writing Cats as having psychotic episodes and dissociative episodes, both of which I suffer from and which are incredibly annoying to see done wrong. These disorders and symptoms can all have overlap, but they can all be boiled down into the terms of "mental illness" or "madness" which I will use interchangeably throughout this post, though it's worth noting that the latter is a divisive term and one I'm using to both engage with the canon and fanon on its level and to reclaim.

So, how do you portray Cat Witchers as mad without being ableist and also remain true to canon? I've come up with three guidelines for judging whether or not something is ableist or not. If you follow these as well as maybe do a bit of research into ableism against mentally ill people, and also excercise some common sense and empathy, I think you'll be fine.

1.) Considering the world of the Witcher, I'm not expecting anyone to use our modern terminology for their characters mental illnesses, but I recommend at a minimum researching mental illnesses and picking one to at least loosely base your Cat Witcher's symptoms on. I'd do this because that way you can have a reference for believable behavior and symptoms for your character. If you're depicting a Cat Witcher as having antisocial personality disorder, they would NOT have explosive outbursts like they would if they had intermittent explosive disorder (unless it was co-morbid, of course). If your character is bipolar, they would NOT be hearing voices (again, unless you write them as being co-morbid with a schizospec disorder, though I'd advise against this because it could easily come off as conflating two different disorders). If you aren't writing characters and are instead just engaging in fan content, some good questions to ask yourself while reading would be "Do I recognize this mental illness?","How was this handled?", and "Is this falling into any harmful stereotypes?".

2.) A topic I think is important to consider when portraying or engaging with portrayals of Cat Witchers is this: how is the ableism they face treated by the narrative? I'm not so naive as to think that you will be able to believably write a mentally ill Cat in the world of the Witcher who doesn't face some kind of ableism, but I'm concerned with the impression it leaves the audience with, not its mere existence as a narrative element. Does it come off as gratuitous? Is it legitimized by the narrator, plot, or narrative? By legitimized, I mean excused. I have read Cat Witcher fics where actual eugenics against the mentally ill were justified by the narrative, and the way it was handled was abhorrent. I don't want to get into specifics bc I don't want anyone to get harassed, but it left me with a horrible taste in my mouth. Please, at the minimum, don't treat eugenics or "purges" or whatever you want to call them lightly, and if you do cover such a dark topic I beg that you ask yourself if you're making it clear narratively that eugenics is bad actually, or if you're instead feeding into actively harmful rhetoric that is dangerous for an already marginalized group to face.

3.) The last thing I can think of that I would advise against that I've seen in other fandoms but thankfully not this one (yet) is that True Love™ doesn't cure madness. It just... doesn't. Mental illness doesn't just go away because you're seeing someone. It doesn't go away at all unless it's acute, and that has zero bearing on whether or not the character is in love. Instead, I'd recommend writing the couple as having coping strategies for when the party in question is experiencing symptoms of their mental illness. Doing so is a great way to strengthen their relationship in your writing! If you're reading rather than writing fic, I recommend asking yourself about how mad characters are treated in the fics you read, whether or not they're magically "cured" bc of the love of another or any other means.

That's all I can think of at the moment, and I encourage you to do your own research about ableism against mentally ill folk as well if you want to improve your understanding! Also do keep in mind us mad folk aren't a monololith and I can't speak for all of us, but I hope my personal opinions on this have helped you out!!

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

i saw you liked kataang and was wondering if you have any fic recs? there seems to be such a lack of kataang fics in the world!

lmao oh do i!! i've been through the entire kataang tag on ao3 over the past month and a half i gotchu (although this list is nowhere near comprehensive; it's mostly just taken from my bookmarks 😂)

spicy (but rated T)

Insinuations by kuchi

Katara and Aang come across some ridiculous insinuations about their relationship in a tabloid.

Public Display of Affection by NerdChild644461217

She was torturous. A beautiful, dark-skinned water witch, and she had him completely under her spell. Aang decided a long time ago he was okay with that.

Fire Burns and Fire Warms by LightSage89

Katara is curious about Firebending. Who better to satisfy her curiosity than the only Firebender she trusts?

Desire and Will by The_Clockwork_Monk

With Aang still having trouble letting loose with his firebending, Zuko asks an alarming question:

"Have you ever kissed a girl?"

kataang family

Voices of Power by itsmoonpeaches

His mother let out another breath. “Please clean up and get ready, you two,” she added. “I can help you with your hair, Kya. Just come to the bedroom when you and your brother have put on the clothes I’ve laid out for you. Bumi will help you with your shoes.” She turned and walked through the gateway, intent on doing what she needed to do.

“Okay, mom!” shouted Kya.

Or, on the 20th anniversary of the end of the Hundred Year War, Bumi realizes just what his dad being the Avatar means.

Oral Traditions by itsmoonpeaches

“Are we gonna meet your family too, dad?” queried Bumi innocently. His pale blue eyes were wide.

“Yeah, daddy!” echoed Kya with a great yawn.

“You did meet my family,” Aang stated carefully. His back remained toward them as he gripped the reins atop Appa’s head. “You and your mother are my family. Your Gramp Gramp, Sokka, Toph, Zuko, Suki, Mai…they’re my family.”

Bumi tilted his head. “No, they’re not,” he maintained.

Or, Aang and Katara bring their children to the second annual Glacier Spirits Festival in over one-hundred years.

Not The Last by binkabonkahankeydoo

And then she's crying too, her arms around them both, and he's so, so grateful for the little family that they'd created together, and the love that they'd found in each other.

heightened senses by peroxideprncss

in which Toph Beifong reveals a secret that nobody knew they were keeping

angst and hurt/comfort

The Warmth of Memory by purplecrescent

While Katara shaves him, Aang reflects on his childhood in the Southern Air Temple and the things that tether him back. In other words, time is an illusion.

Three Times by Silver Thunder

They happen to have kissed three times - but he's still just 'someone', and not a boyfriend.

To Take With Him by Roselightfairy

The kiss from the Day of Black Sun, in Aang's perspective.

Lightning by Roselightfairy

The fight in Crossroads of Destiny, from Katara's point of view. "Katara's hand leapt to her mouth and she prayed, prayed to whomever might be listening that he could deflect it, that he could defend himself, that he wouldn't get hurt – " In which Aang is struck by lightning.

Unbendable by cloudymagnolia

The human body doesn't stop functioning just because it's in a coma. A look at all that Katara went through to care for Aang, after the fall of Ba Sing Se.

Not Just an Airbender by The_Clockwork_Monk

Days before Sozin's Comet, Katara tries to reassure Aang about the task he now faces, and he tries to explain to her why he feels he can't go through with it.

The Price of Mastery by Stonehill

“I've always been taught,” she begins, voice slow and tired, “that water was life. Waterbending was a way to interact with our environment and bodies in a way that healed and created. Now it feels like death.”

In her infatuation with her craft, with her identity as a Waterbender, she’d forgotten that the ocean is a terrible presence full of storms and monsters; a volatile presence that, once it’s grasped hold of you, might never let you go.

Now she, too, has become one of those monsters of the deep.

you cut through all the noise by wanderinghooves

A year is such an excruciatingly long time.

Aang is sent abroad for a year of diplomacy while Katara helps to rebuild at home. Distance makes the heart grow lonely.

love is just a word (you give it meaning) by thriftedstars

He's falling and she's riding the wave, falling, falling, falling, and then he's in her arms and Spirits, he's so small. So small and burnt and quiet and still, and so, so young. His eyes are closed, his mouth gaping wide, and when she gives him the gentlest of shakes his head just flops, and she feels sick to her stomach because no, no, not Aang, not Aang.

or, a look into katara's thoughts immediately after aang is shot by azula.

Own Worst Enemy by ADCurtis

When Katara is… damaged – caught in the crossfires of men, spirits and the Avatar – Aang is forced to leave her. A choice made to protect her from their most terrifying foe – the monster within himself.

drabbles

Snapshots by RMarie124

This is all for Kataang week 2020, but finished a week late. A small collection of short drabbles that take place pre-, during-, and post-canon.

fluff/soft/humor

Staring by BetterThanCoffee

Katara finds Aang distracting. Post-The Blind Bandit

Can I Kiss You? by Marie

He’s smiling at her and she can’t help but smile back, the corner of her mouth quirking. She continues to stand, her fingers now worrying at the end of her still damp braid and she can see the confused tilt of his eyebrows as he stares at her.

These Moments by portable_tragedy

Aang waited a hundred years for his favorite worldly tether. This is their life. Vignettes. Fluff.

Overheard in Ba Sing Se by cloudymagnolia

At Zuko's seventeenth birthday party, Zuko dances with Katara, and Aang overhears some malicious gossip. The only thing that could make the evening worse for him? Toph trying to be comforting.

general recs

literally anything by itsmoonpeaches

Aang/Katara Missing Scenes by The_Clockwork_Monk

Kataang Raid by LightSage89

again this is not a comprehensive list!! especially bc there's so many good fics i read and then don't bookmark bc im just really bad. at remembering bookmarks exist for some reason. basically. if anyone else has some kataang recs, feel free to add on!! also i encourage y'all to rb this bc all these links mean this post probably won't show up in the tags 😂

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Can you imagine Chris with a fever? Trying to tell jake he doesn’t feel well, he wants to be held, but the high fever only makes it harder to talk? Everyone in the safe house crowded around, desperate to cool him down bc they can go to a hospital?

CW: Feverish, sickness, mentions of symptoms of sickness + references to past noncon/dubcon, plus fucky thought processes around that. Vague references to past torture.

Timeline: Chris’s first week at the shelter.

Tagging:  @burtlederp , @finder-of-rings , @endless-whump , @whumpfigure , @stxckfxck , @slaintetowhump

His bones hurt, but he keeps that to himself. It's just bones, after all, and he's had way more of him hurt much worse than this.

At least, it starts with bones, just in his upper arms and in his thighs, and he thinks maybe it’s because he is always tense in this strange new place. The house seems small compared to Sir’s mansion but he is allowed to move around all of it, not just one hallway of rooms. 

This makes him nervous but he does, anyway, padding silent and still as a mouse around the hallways and down the stairs at night, searching for signs that this will be a life he understands. 

He finds none. 

There is no basement, or if there is, they don’t show him. He doesn’t know what happened, exactly - there was a night where Sir had a party, and then he was put in a car and then another car and then there was this new place, these new people.

No, at first it’s really just his thighs, an ache buried so deep under the skin that no amount of rubbing against it seems to work it out. After that, his arms start to hurt, and then down his calves, and finally it settles in at his hips like two hands are gripped on tight. The ache is familiar, a memory of a life he doesn’t have to live any longer.

They tell him he doesn’t, anyway.

They tell him he doesn’t have to do that, here, but there are two men and three women and he thinks maybe eventually he will have to be good. He’s not trained for women but it can’t be that different, can it? He tries not to think about it very much, and hopes if he just stays quiet, and still, and holds his hands in little stone fists at his sides that no one will notice him.

If they don’t notice him, they won’t ask, and he won’t have to, even though he kind of wants to, but also he doesn’t, and he can’t remember if he ever really did or if it was always a voice inside him that someone put there on purpose to make him like this.

He wants to be held but he is scared of what it means, because it’s never just holding. It always means having to be good. Maybe not right away, but always, sooner or later. 

Does he actually want to be held? Or did they do that to him, with all the time he spent alone, praying someone would open the door to the white room? 

He wants someone to hold him while he feels like this, but… his bones hurt too much for what happens after the holding, and he feels so cold, like being back in the white rooms that have all blurred together. 

Once all the other hurts are joined by a strange, pounding headache that won’t lift, a weight like his brain is solidifying inside his skull, the boy takes a big soft blanket right off the bed of the larger man who lives here and finds a place to hide. 

They're all downstairs, the other people here. 

There’s a storage room at the end of the hallway where all the bedrooms are, and the door isn’t locked - at Sir’s all the doors are locked except the rooms he’s allowed in, so that must mean he’s allowed in here.

He’s having trouble walking, there’s a dizzy lilt to his footsteps and he seems to keep bumping into the wall even though he thought he was walking straight. He trips on the blanket as it trails the floor, over and over again. Somehow it never occurs to him to pick the blanket up.

The door looks wrong, for reasons he can't explain. The boy gets briefly lost in the swirl of the woodgrain, staring at what looks like another set of wood-eyes, frozen in surprise, staring right back. 

He has to blink again and again and again to get the wood-eyes to fade away. 

They are laughing at something downstairs and the sound makes the boy nervous - Sir laughing usually meant things Sir thought were good, and the boy had to be good but he never thought they were good. He has to hide, or they'll see his wobbly legs and play games with him.

Sir likes games, when the boy is tired or sick from the pills or sad. The boy doesn't want to play games, here. They have said they won't hurt him but games don't always hurt the outside. 

He gets the doorknob to turn after three tries, slips into the little storage room, and sees the perfect hiding spot.

There’s a huge wooden desk shoved up against one wall, stacked high with what looks like photo albums, folders stuffed until they’re bursting, loose stacks of paper, brochures and flyers, plus old books and all kinds of things. 

On top of one stack of flyers, there an ancient stuffed puppydog, with floppy arms and legs and floppy ears and a strange bronze yellow no-color fur, threadbare in patches where someone loved it, once. The boy could almost see the way a child must have petted along the back, wearing it to nothing bit by bit, day by day. 

Something about the sight of it makes the boy's throat want to tighten and close. He doesn't know what or why - he's never had a stuffed animal, all he remembers is the white walls and the cold and then the warmth of Sir burning him alive.

He takes a sudden breath, shivering as cold snaps through his body, his muscles contracting like aftershocks from training, chills that roll through him, bounce around inside his skin.

The desk is like Sir's and not like that at all. He doesn't want the desk - he wants the hollow spot in the center under it. It feels safe and familiar, sliding to his knees under a wooden desk, Position Two, effortless as breathing. Tip his head up, chin at rest on Sir's knee, waiting. Making his thoughts stutter-skip to a stop until all his mind is a vast and empty place he never looks too far into. 

He is not empty, now.

The boy does not feel empty at all. Instead he feels too much. He feels the strangely rough carpet under his knees, hard floor through the soft fabric of the pants they gave him to wear. He thinks of the stuffed puppy alone in the room - is he lonely in here? nobody to rub his fur all to gone any longer-

"'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse." The voice in his mind is soothing and soft. It is a woman's voice but he doesn't know who it belongs to. He knows there was a book, can almost feel the texture of the cover, slippery-smooth, the shine as it caught the dim, yellowed light. He can feel the warmth of a soft arm around him, a hand ruffling into his hair as chubby fingers tap on his own legs, feet swinging off the side of a tiny toddler bed. "'It's a thing that happens to you.'"

His headache gets worse all at once, a thunderclap of pain, and the boy whimpers and pushes himself until his back is against the other side of the desk, curling knees to his chest with the blanket wrapped around himself. 

The chills roll through, his fingers shaking too hard to do anything but hold onto himself and hope it will stop. Teeth chatter, clattering together like someone is playing dice inside his mouth, and his tongue feels like leaden weight in there, too large for the space. 

Under the desk it is dark, no light in the room but a clouded sense of sunlight finding its way through off-white blinds, covered in dust, cutting stripes of yellow over the opposite wall.

The boy sees tiny dust particles in the air, floating. Dancing. His eyes follow them, and he almost smiles. Sir used to leave him alone for hours and hours locked in the room or the basement with nothing, but there was no such thing as nothing when your brain could follow specks of dust…

He feels no warmer, even as he sits under the blanket. The cold is too deep in him, settling into his bones alongside the pain, which has sharpened, gone from dull sawing to a sharpened blade. He whimpers, curling up even tighter.

Even now, he has hurt worse than this, and for worse reasons. He knows how to stay still, has learned to keep his palms pressed flat against his stomach to stop himself from tapping, to let the lead weights roll around inside his head to keep himself from hitting it on anything to calm down. Silence is better than screaming.

He learned his lesson. Sir may have given him up, but the boy has not forgotten. 

Footsteps move in the hallway, and the boy does not look - does not try to peek out the door and see. Now that he has curled up so tightly, he's not sure he could uncurl. His legs feel locked tightly, every muscle tensed around his hurting bones. 

Where is he? The woman's voice, the older one. The one he thought must be the owner of this household and all its pets. He's not in his room.

He is not in the bathroom, a male voice says, the slightest, barest hint of an accent to it. 

I hope he didn't run away. A girl voice. The boy shivers. 

He's not Kauri, a second girl voice says. He won't just run without saying anything. He's scared, he probably found a crawlspace or something.

A crawlspace, the first girl repeats, a little plaintively. She repeats things a lot, the boy has noticed. 

We should keep looking. The man, the one he thinks must be the Sir. But he doesn't act like one. 

The boy tucks himself back into the corner of the spot under the desk, closing his eyes as they just don't want to be open any longer. 

He wants his Sir, suddenly, so badly it burns under all the chill, like holding a piece of ice to your skin so long that the cells forget they feel cold. Sir would hold him tightly, would wrap him up or give him lukewarm baths or just hold him, in his lap, whispering things into his ear. Reading aloud the news reports, the new poll numbers. Speaking with his friend Mr. Alexander who is like me, in a lot of ways that go beyond just our career aspirations, darlin'. 

Sir would make him feel better, even if it felt awful all the same. 

A different awful. He would trade that awful, now, if he could. At least Sir's did not live so far under his skin, was only in those first few layers he could scrub away if he stayed in the shower long enough. This kind wouldn’t come out, only burrowed deeper and deeper.

He falls asleep - or into something like sleep, anyway - there under the desk, like he has on many afternoons, lulled to boredom by long days where he isn’t allowed to move or feel or think. It’s not the same desk and there is no one to nudge him awake with a perfectly shining leather shoe. 

The boy dreams uneasy dreams of vast bedrooms swathed in navy silk and uncertain worn-out fabric creatures with threadbare patches are peeking from behind the drapes, beckoning to him to come closer and hear what they have to say. Only he can’t move, because the sheets are wrapped too tightly around his wrists. They hold him to the bed or the wall, he can’t think of where he is, lying down and standing up all at once. He has to hear what they want to tell him.

He’s too far away, and they are whispering.

Real isn’t how you are made, said the Skin Horse. It’s a thing that happens to you.

Wake up. Wake up. Wake up-

“Hey.” There’s a hand on his shoulder and the boy jerks awake with a gasp, flinching back so hard his head smacks back into the back of the desk. “Oh, shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t, uh, you were talking and I thought maybe you were already up. Hey, are you okay?”

The boy stares, wide-eyed, at the man he thinks is the Sir of this house. He’s younger, but the others except for the older woman all do what he asks them to do. He has blond hair and blue eyes and he’s so tall the boy has to crane and crane his head to look up at him sometimes. He swallows, as he shivers all over again. “My… bones… hurt.” 

His voice is slow, evenly paced, a little hoarse. He sounds like he’s been screaming, but he hasn’t. When he swallows, his throat hurts, like swallowing glass. He winces and puts a had up to feel at the outside. His throat feels odd on either side, just under his jaw. Sort of lumpy.

“Your bones hurt? What the fuck-... hey, come out so I can see you a little better, okay? Come on, man.” The man grips onto his hands, and the man’s fingers are big and warm and the boy moves almost helplessly towards the solidity and warmth that those hands represent. 

His mind is a woozy swirl of trains, careening back and forth, his eyes drifting over dancing bits of dust and the piles of papers everywhere and old broken computer chairs, that one’s padded, should have slept there, he hears a robin call outside and fights the urge to purse his lips and whistle back. 

When he is out into the dim light in the room, the man’s eyes trail over his face. The boy feels the weight of the look, and thinks he might blush, but his face felt hot before, too, even though the rest of his body feels like it’s carved from blocks of very pretty ice.

He’s much nicer-looking than Sir is, the man. Younger, too, and something about him doesn’t seem uncomfortable and strange, but instead open and genuine. The boy can almost read him, and he never knew what Sir was thinking. But in the look on the man’s face, he thinks he can read a simple concern.

“You look like shit,” The man says - he said his name was Jake, right? - and reaches out to touch the boy’s face. “Oooh, you feel like shit, too. Clammy as hell.”

Is he clammy? The boy hasn’t noticed. He feels too cold for sweat, everywhere but his forehead, his cheeks, his lips. 

The man’s fingers prod just under his jaw, and the boy winces and whimpers when he hits the swollen little circles that seem to have stuck up from his skin there.

“Yep. Your lymph nodes are all fucked up. One more thing, okay? Just here. Right here, and nowhere else.” The man slowly lays a cool hand to his forehead. The boy’s eyes flutter closed at the simple, comforting, soothing touch.

I could be good for him. The thought is brief, there and then gone, carried further down the track with other thoughts he tries not to linger on. 

“Well, I have a diagnosis,” Jake says, sitting back on his heels. “You’re sick as fuck. Come on, we need to get you into an actual bed. And I need to tell Nat you didn’t wander off, she’s losing her shit downstairs about it. Were you scared?” His voice dips down into something soft. It’s a voice the boy wants to fall into. It’s kind of like the voice that belonged to the warm arm around him, in his dreams.

The boy shakes his head. You’re not supposed to admit you’re scared unless they want you to, and he doesn’t think this man wants him to.

He lets the man pull him to his feet. Jake notices the boy’s hands pressed still against his stomach and asks if he needs to throw up, but he shakes his head - he doesn’t, he just doesn’t want to get in trouble. When he can’t keep his hands still, he is punished. 

“Then why were you in here?”

The boy doesn’t speak. He can feel his tongue in his mouth, every one of his teeth. He might speak too quickly, stumble over himself. Silence is better than stammering. He only shrugs, a movement of thin shoulders under the heavy, soft blanket he wears. 

“Okay, fair enough. Come on, let’s get you laid down and get some Tylenol in you.”

He doesn’t remember what Tylenol is, and lets himself be led, shivering and chattering teeth, laid down in the little bed in the room where the other Box Boy sleeps. There is a framed drawing of a bird above the bed he sleeps in, and he looks up at it, feeling dazed by all the colors that want to bleed right out and down the wall and maybe he could get some color in his skin if he catches the paint…

The man is gone, for a few minutes. There are talking-sounds downstairs but the boy can’t understand them. Too muffled or too loud or too something. He gets lost in the bird.

“Here we go.” Jake reappears and gives him a cup of water as he pushes himself up to his elbow and he drinks it obediently, sipping. It’s cool and clean-tasting on his tongue. Then Jake holds out a little cup with a purple liquid in it and the boy stares down, then back up at him. “It’s… not Tylenol. Nat said her contact told her you were drugged, so I figured… maybe no pills?”

The boy shakes, all at once, a full-body shudder that wracks his tensed-up muscles and makes them burn around his bones. He bends himself nearly in half, shaking his head, again and again. “No… no pill, please,” He whispers, barely able to form the words. “Please, please, please-please no, no, no no no no-”

“It’s okay,” Jake says quickly. “No pill. So this is, um, this is like a liquid fever reducer. We keep it for the rescues who can’t… can’t swallow pills. Okay? Just drink it down and you’ll feel better, I promise.”

It could be just like the pills. The boy hesitates, looking up into the man’s eyes. Something in them seems like he can be trusted to tell the truth, and after a long hesitation, the boy takes the tiny plastic cup from his hands and drinks the sticky fake-grape taste down, wrinkling his nose. It clings to his teeth and his tongue, and he washes it away with more water from the glass. 

“Perfect. I had to guess on dosage, but that should be okay… Will you stay in the room, if I go?” The question is there, underneath the words - the boy can read them just fine. Are you going to hide under the desk again?

“I don’t… want to… be alone.” He has to carefully space words. He has to be good, that way. He didn’t understand yet what everyone here wanted. 

“Is that how you really feel, or what you’re saying because you think it’s what I want?” The man asks, his voice still soft, and gentle. “You won’t be in trouble no matter what you say.”

The boy doesn’t know how to answer this - no one ever asks him his wants. What he wants isn’t important, it’s not relevant. He grips the blanket in his fingers and twists the fabric, quilted and so soft it feels like it will float away from him. He stares down into his lap and says nothing, only shaking his head, not quite a yes and not quite a no.

“I’m… very cold,” He offers, finally, in a small voice, when the man doesn’t say anything right away. “And my… bones hurt.”

“Right, you said, your bones-... must be something to do with the fever, maybe? Something… look, lay down and I’ll get you all covered up, there are some more blankets in that storage room you were hiding in. I’m surprised you didn’t just make a nest.”

The boy hadn’t noticed the other blankets then. If he had… he might have. He lets himself be laid on his back, looking up, watching the dust spin and move and dance, as the man leaves the room once more. He hears footsteps in the hall, lighter ones, and looks to catch a glimpse of a swinging ponytail and a heavy sweatshirt and sweatpants. The girl doesn’t look at him. She goes into her own room and shuts the door.

Jake comes back with a heap of folded blankets. “You’ll shove these off once your fever breaks, but they might make you feel a little better while we wait. Oh, and I saw this in there!”

He holds up the stuffed puppy, with beady black eyes barely hanging on from old thread, the little bare patches on the rump part, where somebody petted off all its fur.

His throat closes again. He doesn’t know why looking at the dog makes him feel that way.

“Thank… you,” He says, and holds out his hands like a child, and the man drops the puppy into his arms. The boy makes a sound and rolls onto his side, letting the man cover him in blankets, tuck them in around him, with the puppy’s head tucked securely under his chin.

He feels… better.

“There you go,” Jake says, running a hand across his forehead, pushing some hair away from his eyes. “There you go. That’s better. I’ll leave you to get some sleep. Pretty sure you haven’t slept since you got here, huh? You should think about what name you want, while you sleep.”

“Sir chooses my, my, my name,” The boy says, already starting to drift, forgetting to space out his words, his thoughts. They start to run again on their natural tracks, splitting into a thousand different focuses at once. He thinks about the birds outside and the ones in his wall and the feel of the stuffed animal in his arms, surprisingly solid for its age, heavier than he thought it’d be. He thinks about his dream and how to keep waking up.

“Not here, he doesn’t,” The man says, voice firm, almost commanding. “Your name’s all you, man. Just tell us when you decide, okay?”

“Okay,” The boy whispers, and thinks about a warm arm around him, a woman’s low voice reading him a story with a deliberate, spaced-out rhythm. 

In the great green room there was a telephone and a red balloon and a picture of the cow jumping over the moon

Maybe they read him a story in training. He can’t remember. But he thinks he was too small for that. Someone else, maybe, once.

He winces as his head starts to ache and chases the thought away, sends it rolling down its track to where all the other thoughts stay that make him hurt. 

“I’ll come back to check on you in a few. Just… stay in the bed and get some rest.”

“Okay,” he says again, and his eyes have gone too heavy to open, his grip iron-tight on the stuffed puppy in his arms. He’s too old for stuffed animals - I’m eighteen, all pets are of legal consenting age - but he feels good holding it, anyway.

“Once you are real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.” Do you know what that means, T-

“Chris,” He says, without opening his eyes. He hears Jake stop in the doorway, turn to look at him. “I like Chris.”

“Chris it is, then,” Jake replies, sounding pleased. “That’s a good one. I’ll tell Nat. Get some sleep and feel better, Chris. That’s a solid name. I like that name on you.”

Chris waits until he hears the door close, and the sound of the man’s footsteps on the stairs, before he smiles.

I like that name on you.

He likes it, too.

Chris feels like a person. Chris feels real.

The boy falls asleep in the bed in a new place and with new people and for the first time since he got here, he falls asleep without feeling scared of what he’ll see behind his closed eyes. Baldur is scared, and the number boy was scared, but Chris, he decides, is going to live in a totally different way. 

Chris is going to be real, and not be scared of anything. 

Just as soon as he isn’t sick.

[seokjinsdisciple]

Switched

jinyoung x reader

when you switch places with your twin sister to teach English in South Korea. You quickly find you’re worse at the job than you think. Luckily, kindergarten teacher Jinyoung helps you navigate the waters of teaching and help your class pass their end of the year exams. 

requested, unedited

warnings: oh boy where do i even begin, sub jinyoung, baby boy and mommy used excessively (im not sorry), overstimulation (sort of), nipple play, jinyoung is just really subby and cute ok, let me know if im missing anything bc this is a mess

word count: 3.1 k 

There was a certain way that your twin sister had about her that made it impossible to say no. She had used this against you her entire life, and it hadn’t stopped as you grew out of teenagers and became adults. In fact, her requests got more and more demanding. Which is how you found yourself on a 15-hour flight to South Korea. 

It was a simple switch really, she had gotten pregnant and wanted you to fill in for her. She had spent about half of the year teaching English to 6th graders and couldn’t leave for half of the year. You were pretty positive that she had just told you that so she wouldn’t have to pay rent on the year-long lease she had signed, but honestly, you were kinda excited. Not about the kids, you had no idea what to do with them, but more so about living in a different country kinda thing. 

The flight was long, and you spent the whole time watching movies, unable to sleep. So, admittedly you were exhausted when you stood in front of your new apartment. You made your way inside, and you had to be honest, the apartment was way nicer than your home back in the States. It was nowhere near as big, but it was filled with nicer, comfier furniture and a giant bed that you couldn’t resist. 

You awoke with a start, rubbing your eyes and groaning. You had no time to waste since your first day in the classroom was supposed to be today. You hadn’t made any plans for your students, but you didn’t have enough time to make one. Scurrying around the apartment you pulled together a business casual outfit, grabbing a piece of toast from the toaster and hurrying out of the apartment with only one shoe on. The other shoe balanced delicately in your hands with a cup of coffee, and your toast. 

By the time you made it into the school, You were more put together. You were still extremely nervous about meeting the students and you were praying that they would be nice to you. You weren’t too fond of kids, and, unlike your sister, you were terrible at interacting with them.

Your thoughts of the day were taking over, and as you desperately searched for your sister's classroom, you bumped into a broad chest. 

“Hey, you ok y/s/n?” A handsome man asked, his sweater showing off his broad shoulders. You had no idea who this guy was, but damn your sister for failing to mention that someone so handsome existed. You smiled at him, your cheeks heating up as you stared, looking for some sort of name tag. You couldn’t find one.

“I’m ok, just kinda lost for some reason,” you laughed, “My brain hasn’t started yet, I guess.”

“Ah, well maybe I can point you in the right direction?” The man said, looking at you quizzically, you were clearly failing at convincing him you were actually your sister. If he had any questions, though, he didn’t ask them. Instead leading you down a winding hallway and into a classroom. 

“Ah, it’s good to be back,” you smiled, praying that he wouldn’t be too suspicious, “Thanks for your help!”

The man just took one glance behind him, before deciding to just close the door of the classroom. 

“So you’re the twin, right?”

“Uh, I don’t know what you mean…” You tried, glancing at the desk and seeing the picture of you and your sister. She could be a real idiot sometimes. The man just raised an eyebrow at you, glancing at the picture on the desk and then back at you. 

“Listen, I know you aren’t y/s/n,” he stated, “she’s never this nice to me. Plus, what kind of teacher forgets where their classroom is?”

You let out a nervous chuckle at his accusation, it was only the first day and you had already been found out. 

“Don’t worry,” he added, “I’m not gonna tell anyone. My name’s Jinyoung. It's nice to meet you…”

“YN,” you said, taking his outstretched hand and shaking it, “I really don’t want to get my sister in trouble, so it would be really great if you kept it a secret.”

“Like I said, I am not gonna tell anyone,” he smiled, “but you are going to need to learn everyone else's names if you are going to try and pull this off.”

That was how you found yourself studying the school’s website, trying to memorize faces and names, with Jinyoung’s tips about their respective personalities. One thing you learned was that your sister wasn’t liked here, probably another reason she hadn’t wanted to tell you who she was working with. You got to talking with Jinyoung and learned that he was a kindergarten teacher. You and Jinyoung talked through your planning period, at least that’s what he called it, and when you told him you had no clue what you were doing, he suggested putting on a movie, an English movie of course. 

You stared at the list of names on your roster, Jinyoung laughing at your pathetic attempts to pronounce their names. He had to write out the pronunciation just so you could get it somewhat recognizable.  As you called the students of your class up during the first period, you had them write an English name that you could call them by. It was just easier and the kids seemed to be relieved that you weren’t going to butcher their names, although you did feel kinda bad about not calling them by their names. You explained to them that you'd be spending this semester watching and dissecting movies before putting one on. 

As time passed, this became your teaching method, watch a movie with the kids, and go over any questions about words that they had after the movie. You weren’t really sure if this was an effective way to teach English, but you didn’t have any better ideas. Jinyoung had become your only friend, as the rest of your school hated your sister, it just made sense. Especially because he knew about your little secret. It had become apparent that the two of you were attracted to each other. Both your students and he had started asking if the two of you were dating. You, of course, denied it, because he was just your friend. No matter how handsome he was. You shook thoughts of Jinyoung out of your head as you started to clean up the pizza party you had to help calm down the kids. You had never met kids who were as stressed out like these ones. Plus their exams were in a few days, and they needed a little break. 

You let out a quiet curse word as a cough rang out from behind you. 

“Any pizza left for me?” Jinyoung asked, his presence beside you sending you into the same thought process that you had been in before. You cleared your throat, reaching for a plate to hand to him. 

“The leftovers are all yours,” you smiled, chuckling at his over-exaggerated hand heart that he sent your way. 

“I was wondering if you wanted to get a drink tonight?” Jinyoung asked, a mouthful of pizza making his words hard to understand. 

“What?” You laughed, “Chew your food first you monster.”

He just laughed with you, covering his mouth as he chewed, “Sorry, I was wondering if maybe you would want to get a drink with me tonight?”

“Ms. Y/L/N, you have to go with him!” One of your students whined, apparently he had forgotten his coat for recess. Jinyoung just grinned at you, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. 

“Stay out of it,” you warned, shooing the boy back to recess. Your focused honed in, ignoring a grinning Jinyoung and busying yourself with tidying the plates and napkins. 

“You should listen to him,” Jinyoung sang, heat flaming your cheeks as you looked at him. 

“I’ll get drinks with you, but only if you SWEAR not to tell your kindergarteners, deal?”

At this, Jinyoung just chuckled, “It’s a deal, I’ll pick you up outside of your room at promptly at 4:30.”

It was your turn to laugh, the banter that the two of you often shared making a warm fuzz to fill your tummy. The fuzz that was normally only achieved through alcohol. You ignored the periods after lunch, your thoughts filling with Jinyoung. To be fair, most of the conversations your students were having were about you and Jinyoung too. The word of the date spreading quickly through the 6th grade, and you were assuming through the rest of the school. 

Your nerves didn’t pick up until your students were dismissed. Frankly, you couldn’t stand the thought of grading worksheets when you knew what was in store for you later. You needed some time to relieve some stress, and you had a feeling that Jinyoung would help provide that for you. 

Jinyoung was at the door of your classroom right when he said he would be, and his over the top bow made you chuckle as you collected your things. You weren’t sure exactly where you were going, but you knew Jinyoung would take you somewhere nice. He did. 

When you walked into the Korean Barbeque restaurant, the smell of cooking meat filled your nose, and the sound of it sizzling on the grill had your heart beating faster. You hadn’t realized how hungry you are until you sat down and heard your stomach grumble. 

“You should really take care of that,” Jinyoung laughed, lazily perusing the menu. 

“Well then, order me some food,” you smiled, taking your hair down from the bun it was in. When you look back at Jinyoung, his eyes were darker, and if you could’ve seen his crotch, you were certain there would be a noticeable bulge. 

“Excited for the food?” you asked, quirking an eyebrow at him.

“I’m thinking about dessert,” he smirked, his tongue wetting his lips. 

This flirty banter continued all throughout dinner, your arousal growing by the time the both of you had finished your 3rd soju bottle. 

Jinyoung’s cheeks were flushed red and you couldn’t help but smile at his drunken ramblings. When he paid for the dinner and stood up, he wobbled a little bit.

“Woah, there,” you laughed, watching his ears burn red as he steadied himself. 

You walked together out of the door, his balance much better than it had been when he stood up. 

“Listen, I’m not that drunk, just feeling a little fuzzy,” he said, his already red cheeks flushing even more. 

“It’s ok Jinyoung, I’m feeling fuzzy too.”

You walked in silence for a moment, but you could feel Jinyoung’s eyes burning a hole into the side of your face. When you turned to look at him, he had a goofy grin on his face, and you couldn’t help but let out a laugh.

“I like making you laugh,” he whispered, grabbing your hand and interlocking it with his own. His hands were cold, but they warmed you up from the inside out. His thumb rubbing gently over your hand as you walked. He had your heart beating out of your chest, and by the time you made it to your front door, his body was pressed flush against you. His arms wrapped around your waist, and you both waddled into your apartment, Jinyoung refusing to let you go. When his face landed in the crook of your neck, your stomach flipped. 

“Your hair smells good,” he sighed, his soft tone making you close your eyes and rest your head on his shoulder. You stood like that for a while, peaceful silence almost causing you to fall asleep. When Jinyoung started tonguing at your neck, you couldn’t help but let out a low whine. His actions sped up, and when you were desperate enough, you pulled him along behind you to your bedroom. Your lips found his, softly pressing against each other. His hands roamed your shirt, squeezing your boobs he deepened the kiss. When you pulled away, you both threw your shirts off, his hand reaching around to undo your bra. That’s when you first noticed it. 

One hand became two hands trying to remove the garment, and then with two hands came a pout. You held back a smile as you reached behind yourself and unclasped the bra in one go. His pout just deepened, and ears so red they could probably be seen from miles away. 

“Jinyoung,” you whispered, placing a chaste kiss on his lips as you pushed him gently down on the bed, “are you a virgin?”

Jinyoung’s hands found your waist, and as he pulled you onto his lap, he buried his head into your chest. You ran your fingers through his hair as he gently shook his head no. 

“I’m just inexperienced,” he whispered, his head refusing to come out from your chest. You continued to massage his head, a whine leaving his throat as you helped him relax. When he started to nuzzle into your boobs, you weren’t expecting him to lick your nipple, and then take it into his mouth to harden it. He repeated his actions on the other side, your breaths hitching every so often as he sucked and bit. When he finally looked up and met your eyes, you almost squealed at how cute he was. His nose and cheeks were flushed a deep red, and his eyes were watery.

“Oh, baby boy,” you whispered as his pout deepened a low whine leaving his lips at the nickname, “What’s wrong?”

“-m ard,” he mumbled, hiding into your chest again. You just cooed at him, running your hands through his hair again. 

“But baby, I have barely even touched you,” you said, “Do you want me to help you?”

You just tsked when Jinyoung nodded into your chest, speaking a little louder than before, “Use your words, baby boy.”

Jinyoung looked up at you, his lip trembling at your harsh tone. You caressed his cheek to soothe him, and that's when he said, “will you- will you please touch me?”

That was it, you were done for. You normally considered yourself to be a more sub leaning switch, but boy was this subby little baby making you go crazy. You pressed your lips onto him, reaching your hand down and pressing on his bulge. Jinyoung almost didn’t let go of you as you climbed off of his lap, but one glance at him had him looking down and loosening his arms from around your waist. 

When you undid the button of his pants and allowed you to pull them down his legs you praised him. His pretty cock bobbing at your words. 

“Do you like being complimented baby boy?”

Jinyoung nodded again, letting out a whimper as you slapped the inside of his thigh, “Yes, I do mommy.”

If you thought you were a goner before, you didn’t know what to think now. It was clear Jinyoung was going deeper into subspace, and holy shit you didn’t know how much you liked being called mommy. 

“You’re such a good little boy, Jinyoungie,” you smiled, pressing a kiss to the tip of his cock, “and you have such a pretty cock.”

His whines at your teasing only intensified as you complimented him, “Look how big it is, baby,” you smirked, wrapping a hand around his cock and tugging once,” but you don’t even know what to do with a cock like this, do you baby?”

“N-, no mommy,” he hiccupped as you sank your mouth all the way down his length. 

“It’s ok, love,” you smiled up at him, “Mommy will take care of you.”

His sniffles were just so cute, you couldn’t stand to tease him anymore. You slipped your skirt off, placing both of your hands on Jinyoung’s cheeks. 

“Are you sure about this?” you asked, running your thumbs gently over his cheeks as he nodded, “Words, Jinyoung.”

“Yeah, god yeah, please,” he whined, gulping as you straddled him, sinking down until you had all of his length inside of you. 

“You tell me if you wanna stop, ok baby?”

“Yes,” Jinyoung whined, letting out a broken moan as you began to ride him. His fingers gripped your hips, pretty moan after pretty moan leaving his mouth as you chased your high. You were worked up, he had worked you up. He was just so good, and once you set eyes on his cock you knew you wanted to feel him in you. Now, you could maneuver yourself so that he was hitting you in all of the right places. And your sweet little love was so so close, you could tell. His hips were almost running from you, sinking as far as he could into the bed to try to take some of the pleasure away. His moans gave him away as he clung to you. 

“Mo-mommy, need to, need to come,” he whimpered, tears pricking his eyes at your silence. You kissed his nose and picked up your pace.

“You can come, little love,” you moaned, your heat clenching around him. He muttered a string of thank-yous, as you felt his cock twitching inside of you. You just kissed him, not wanting to hear his overstimulated moans as you kept riding him. But his mouth broke away, scrunched face as he moaned. 

“M, mommy,” he whined, face still red and scrunched. You tried to calm him, slowing your hips to try to relieve some of the overstimulation, but that's when you felt it. His cock twitching in you again. You let out a groan and came with him. Your eyes rolling back into your head as you clenched around him. You relaxed around him, your hands finding his cheeks as you took a deep breath. You quickly looked up when you felt the wetness on his cheeks. 

“What’s wrong love?”

“I was bad,” he sniffed, “Youngie came without permission.”

“You weren’t bad baby,” You smiled, pressing several kisses all over his face until he laughed, “you were the best boy.”

You let him pull you down across the bed, snuggling into your side and nuzzling into your neck. You fell asleep, and so did he soon after, both of you worn out.

You and Jinyoung spent the entire weekend together, laughing, making out and growing his experience. When you arrived at school on Monday, you were glowing. Your kids begged you to tell them if you went on that date, but you refused. At least until it was time for them to start their exam. In fact, you promised to tell them what happened (minus some details of course) if, and only if, they passed their exams. 

Not a single person in your class failed.

[crunkumbee]

Lost In You

Yancy x Reader 

Requests: 

could you write a piece about yancy and y/n in the ending where they stay in the prison and after a while get together and it’s a very sweet and soft? love ur writing xxx 

I heard you want fanfic ideas? If so. May I present the classic jealous Yancy? A new prisoner/guard flirts with the reader? - @just-a-werido 

oh. my god. dancing. with yancy. just. oh my god. please?

Cuddles and stuff because Yancy is baby- @greemany​

Could you write a really fluffy Yancy x reader?? Like maybe they're both super touch-starved and easily flustered and so there's a lot of embarrassed but sweet, blushy cuddles and physical affection??? Sorry if this is a bad ask but I'm just a SLUT for Yancy cuddles thanks friend💕

Can I request a cuddly Yancy x reader where he almost lost her due to a fight between her and one of the guys who thought it be a good idea to mess with his family? Like the gang instantly comes to her aid and Yancy is like ????!!!!!!! and instantly makes sure his baby’s okay? Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: Holy goddamn you guys first of all thank you so much I am so honored that you all love my writing and trust me enough to write these!! Second um I kinda went off and shoved all of these together bc I thought they would sound good and yeah also sorry fics have been kinda slow its just been a crazy last couple of weeks with LITERALLY EVERYTHING and dancing yancy?!?!?!? HELL YEAH but please please PLEASE ENJOY FRIENDS LOVE YOU ALL!!!

Tag List: @i-am-a-weeb @arts-of-plenty @gay-matty-boi @brokequeenofcardonia @writer-of-camelot  @pleasedontfollowmeimtrash @bxbamilktae @th3-n3xt-phas3-2 @animals4ever527 @janiceapex @ughsomething​ @go-just-me-fan​ @les-amis-de-l-ab-yeet​ @aheistwithyancy​​

Twelve years with the chance for probation. That’s what you were stuck with. Happy Trails Penitentiary wasn’t what you thought it would be but after what you had done, you were perfectly fine with it.  You weren’t one to talk to new people so when it came time for lunch you sat alone in a corner and prayed that nobody would sit next to you or even look at you. 

The potatoes weren’t the best you had but it was better than you expected and as you were poking at them you didn’t even notice the man that sat next to you. 

“Youse is new here. I’m Yancy,” he extended his hand out to you. “I saw you walk in and thought youse was the best looking person in this joint.” 

“Y/n and I’m sure that seeing somebody new has an affect on who you’re attracted to.”

He chuckled and god damn that was a beautiful sound. 

“Youse might be right. But you should come sit with the rest of us. Hank even has wine for us. 

Your plan was to just sit there in the corner for the next twenty years but when a man as handsome as Yancy asks you to sit at his table, you don’t argue and just go along with it. 

You followed the man to the table with multiple other people and you were instantly overwhelmed once they all started to surround you. 

“Hey fellas, stand back a bit shes new here.”

And so for the next few weeks you sat at the table and the other prisoners became like family to you. You and Yancy had gotten really close. He would spend most of his time with you whenever you could and he had a spare key to all of the cells so some nights you could sneak into one anothers cell. Sure he was attractive but you weren’t anything more than friends and while you would like for there to be more, you were perfectly content with how your life was with him just being a friend.

There weren’t many other new guards or other inmates. But, there was a new guy. His name was Lucas and he just wouldn’t leave you alone. It wasn’t until Yancy said something to him that he kinda backed off but you could still feel his eyes on you.  Three days into his sentence you went to use the restroom during lunch. It wasn’t in the same room as the cafeteria but it was down the hall a ways and since the guards trusted most of the inmates, they would let most of them just go off on their own. As you were walking out of the restroom, Lucas came up behind you and grabbed your hips, only resulting in you pushing yourself off of him.

“What the hell?!?” 

“Come on baby girl you know you liked it. Why would you want some pansy like him when you could have all of this.” 

“Fuck you!” you yelled at him before punching him in the throat. You wanted to go for the face but he was a lot taller and a hell of a lot bigger than you were and there was no way you would have reached even if you had wanted to. 

“Bitch,” he backhanded you and your face hit the concrete wall. “Kick her ass.” Lucas said to the two people who then walked out from around the corner. Of course they were both women and twins. 

“Too big of a bitch to fight me yourself Lucas?” If he replied you couldn’t hear it because the woman on your left with short black hair punched you followed by the other one with long brown hair that was tied back kicking you in the stomach. It took you a moment to shake it off but you soon got in with the rhythm of their movements and while you were taking an ass beating at least you were able to fight back. At least you wouldn’t be the only one bleeding. 

You had been gone for too long and while the gang told him that everything was fine, Yancy just couldn’t shake the feeling that you were in some kind of trouble. 

“Hey Tiny, can youse come with me to check on y/n?” 

“Sure thing Yancy.” 

Together they walked out into the hallway where the restrooms were and sure enough there was Lucas laughing as two women were fighting you. You were holding your own well but you were outnumbered. 

“I’ll help y/n boss go get that asshole.” 

Yancy nodded and sure enough Tiny was taking care of the brown haired woman while you focused in on the other one. Now that she didn’t have her partner, it was a lot easier to take her on. 

“Hey Lucas! I know youse have a problem with me so let's take care of it right here, right now.” 

“I’m not going to fight you. You’re not worth the waste of breath. And neither is y/n.” 

He could have said whatever he wanted about him but the second that he brought you into it, Yancy lost his cool. Nobody could get away with having people attack you then talk shit about you. Yancy didn’t think before he clocked Lucas in the face and he fell to the ground. Yancy was about to advance on the fallen man before he heard your voice.

“Yance, don’t. He’s not worth it.” 

He looked over and saw you bruised and bleeding. You and Tiny had managed to knock down and keep the other two women down. It was then that Yancy decided not to murder the man on the ground. Seeing his way out Lucas got up and walked down towards his cell.

“Come here sweetheart.” You started to walk towards him and he met you halfway. He walked you to the guard where Tiny told them everything that happened. Yancy walked you to the infirmary but it just so happened to be the nurses birthday so she wasn’t there so instead Yancy grabbed things that looked like they would be of use and walked back to his cell which was closer than yours. Jimmy followed you both and once you sat on his bed and Yancy put all the supplies next to you he went out of the small cell to talk to Jimmy. The other man nodded before walking off and Yancy came back to you. 

“Okay this isn’t going to feel good but just know that I’m not tryin to hurt you.” 

“I know you wouldn’t try to Yance. Just get it over with.” 

Other than you occasionally wincing when he would put peroxide on the cuts on your face (and him apologizing every time) he was gentle. 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there sooner for youse. I should have been there to help you otherwise youse wouldn’t have gotten hurt.”

“Yance. Don’t try to blame yourself for what happened to me. You and Tiny came to help me before it got worse and that’s all that matters.” you put your hand on his and neither of you were used to the closeness that you were both currently at but all that either of you knew was that you liked it. 

“Let me put these bandages on you. Just be still.” 

As he put them on your face you could smell the sweet prison cologne that they gave them and for some reason it smelled better on him than it did anybody else. 

Suddenly there was music playing throughout the hallway. It was usual for this to happen and the warden liked to have music on once in awhile. 

“Do youse know how to dance?” 

“What? Oh no! I’ve never had the chance to learn.” 

“Well there’s no better time than the present.”

He extended his hand out to you and for a moment you hesitated. You weren’t used to so much and prison wasn’t the place that you thought that you would find a family but here you were, learning how to dance with the most handsome guy in the joint. It wasn’t what you were expecting when you got 20 years for arson but now that you were here and in the moment, it was nice. 

As you took his hand and stood in the cell with the soft love song that you didn’t recognize playing over the speakers you realized that this was the place for you. 

“Just let me show youse what to do and follow my lead.” 

He carefully and cautiously to his shoulders and placed his hands on your waist. And when he started to move you followed and it soon became easy to follow. 

You looked into his soft brown eyes and smiled and that’s when the moment of realization hit him, there’s nobody else for him. The way that something as small as dancing with him made you so happy and brought out the beautiful smile of yours, and if all of that could make his heart melt then there was no person he would rather be with. 

Just when he thought the moment couldn’t get any better, you rested your head on his chest. It was now or never. 

“Hey, uh, y/n?” 

“Yeah Yance?” “What would you-, uh see I kinda-”

You knew what he was saying and didn’t need anymore confirmation than what he was giving you in that moment. You moved your hand from his shoulder to the back of his neck to push his lips to yours. His lips were softer than you could have ever imagined and he was thinking the same thing. 

You pulled away and looked him in his puppy dog eyes, “I didn’t think youse would like somebody like me but I’ve been lost in you since the day you showed up.” 

“I was going to say the same thing about you.” 

“If I talked to the warden, would youse like to share a cell so we don’t have to sneak around every night?” 

“If he allows that, I would love to.” 

“Good because I talked to him this morning and he says that as long as we don’t get into a fight with each other then he doesn’t care.” 

[flowerpowell]

You Drive Me Crazy (Colt x MC)

PART SEVEN

A/N: Hello again! This is another scheduled post because I thought I was getting better and then something happened and I’m not well again (but I still would love to read your feedback when I’m back!). Thank you for your patience, I know it’s been a while since I updated the series last. We’re coming to an end, so tune in for a finale (unless I get an idea for a continuation bc who knows). Enjoy!

Characters belong to Pixelberry.

Rating: PG-16

Word count: 1289

Tags: @agent-bossypants @brightpinkpeppercorn @confessionsofabrokegirl @lovehugsandcandy @walkerduchess @choicesarehard @going-down-downtown @long-gone-girl @client-327 @desiree-0816 @i-only-signed-up-for-fanfiction @umiumichan @claudevonstruke @akrenich @zaira-oh-zaira @emichelle @lunablr-choices ♥

THREE MONTHS LATER

“Kaneko, you’re up!”

Colt signed as a familiar police officer came up and opened the cell. He was pretty comforable here. At least he was far away from the world he hated.

The officer shot him a cold look and Colt smirked in return.

“You’ll miss me, huh?”

“Just go and make sure to never come back.”

Colt mockingly blew him a kiss and entered the main hall. Mona was sitting on the chair, waiting for him. She was the only person who visited him in jail for the past few months. The only one who didn’t turn her back on him. Even his own father didn’t want to talk to him. And Ellie... He didn’t know what happened with Ellie. Whether she was fine or not, he was to afraid to ask Mona so he never found out.

“Well, finally! The prodigal son has returned home!” Mona exclaimed when she saw him and Colt froze her with his stare.

“Don’t say ‘I told you so’.”

“I won’t.” she said and a few minutes passed in silence before she whispered, barely audible “Je te l'avais bien dit.”

“I heard it! What does it mean?” Colt eyed her suspiciously

“I told you so in French.” she grinned and Colt rolled his eyes.

“Come on, let’s get you out of here. How are you doing?” she asked as if concerned but he only shrugged.

“I’m okay. I just wish I could leave the country but I can’t,” he signed and she nodded.

In silence, they reached Mona’s car and Colt got lost in his thoughts while she was driving.

“You don’t want to know what happened after they arrested you?” she finally asked.

He didn’t answer.

“Ellie’s father was furious. I think he hates you now. I’m not surprised. Ellie woke up after three days. Her first question was ‘where is Colt.’ Her father really hates you, man. Even though she told him it was her fault.”

She was alive. She was alive. She was alive.

He silently thanked God for letting her live. Every day in jail he prayed Ellie was okay. He didn’t care about himself, whether he would be released or not, all he cared about was Ellie.

And she was alive.

“Is she okay?” he asked, realizing he interrupted Mona.

“Yes, I think she is now. She spent some time at hospital, missing her first days of college but she’s there now. In college, I mean.”

“Good. That’s...Good.” Colt nodded. She probably didn’t want to see him. And he didn’t want to get her into trouble. That was for the best. She was there and he was here. They would never meet again and as much as it hurt Colt, it was best for her.

“She’s coming home for Thanksgiving soon,” Mona said as if reading his mind.

“Good for her.”

“You two should talk.”

“Better not,” he heard her sigh in return but there was no time for arguing since they reached Kaneko Auto Shop. And he had to face his father now.

Kaneko was wiping the car window when his son entered. He didn’t even look up and Colt swallowed hard. Was he supposed to apologize? Move on as if nothing happened? He was sure his dad was disappointed. All he ever did always disappointing Teppei.

“Pop, I--”

“I don’t care,” Teppei stood up and threw a cloth at him, letting him know to get back to work. Colt wordlessly nodded and his father left the room.

That was it for the father-son moment. Mona patted him on the back and came back to work as well. And so did he. As if nothing happened.

~~~~

Days passed. Weeks passed. Everything seemed to be back to normal, Colt worked as usual and his father acted as if nothing happened. The only thing that felt different was the ache that Colt felt in his heart when thinking of Ellie. He still couldn’t believe he lost her.

Mona wanted to talk to him on several occasions but he always tried to avoid the topic. Mona might have thought it was because Colt was so cold and reserved but truthfully, it still hurt him too much to talk about it.

He saw Ellie’s father once doing groceries. Colt greeted him as usual but the old man only narrowed his eyes and turned back without saying anything. Colt knew it was over, really over.

That Thanksgiving was one of the worst days he ever had. Usually, he would go to dinner at Ellie’s but for obvious reasons he wasn’t able to do so this year. Instead, him, Mona, Toby, Xiemena and even Teppei had a small dinner, and then had the rest of the day for themselves. Colt went to work on his bike, Toby and Ximena went to watch some show and Mona went somewhere too.

He tried not to think about Ellie, was she home already? Colt scolded himself for thinking of her again. He turned his full attention to his motorcycle and a few minutes passed before he heard someone entering garage.

“Colt?” he looked over his shoulder to see Mona looking nervous.

“Hm?”

“Can you help me with something in Kaneko’s office? He asked me to get some papers but I can’t find them for life,” she asked and disappeared right after

Colt rolled his eyes and threw his tools on the ground before wiping his hands and following his friend.

“Mona?” he entered the office looking for her.

“Colt?”

“Ellie?” his eyes widened at the sight of his old friend instead of Mona. “What are you doing here?”

“I-- Mona asked me to help her in something, she said you wouldn’t be here,” she admitted sheepishly.

Of course. She wouldn’t come here for me.

“Mona asked to--” he started and looked at Ellie, both his with sudden realization.

“Mona.” They both said in unison but before they reached the door, they were already closed, someone locking them from the other side.

“MONA!” Colt yelled banging his fists on the door. “This is not funny, open the door!”

“Mona, please,” Ellie tried too.

For the first time that day, Colt looked at her and took her sight in. She was beautiful. As always though, but something about her, he couldn’t exactly pinpoint what, was making her look even more beautiful than ever. There was no signs of her accident, expect for a little scar on her head, covered by hair.

“I’m not letting you out before you talk,” they heard Mona from behind the door.

“Come on, Mona! Are we five?” Colt was losing his patience. On the other hand though... he was happy to finally have Ellie all to himself.

“Apparently you are! You two should’ve talked ages ago so I’m giving you the chance.”

“Mona...” Ellie tried again.

“I’ll be back in a few hours but if you haven’t made up by then, you can spend the night there cause I will not let you out until you sort out your shit. Snacks and drinks are in the mini fridge, condoms are in the left drawer and you can sleep on the couch, it’s pretty comfy.”

“MONA!” Colt raised his voice at Mona’s suggestion. This was truly not an ideal situation to talk to Ellie. “Mona!” he yelled again but the only sound he heard was Mona leaving and closing the door behind her.

They were stuck here. For a few hours.

With drinks. And food. And condoms.

Oh boy.

[sunshinexlollipops]

Have you given up on ACW?

Hey anon, to answer your question: no.

I meant to make a more detailed post explaining what has gone on BUT I have just had shit keep happening to me time after time.

To put it simply: I have not had the time or ability to write ACW this month.

Have I given up on it? Forgotten it? Been pushing it off? Ignoring it?

No. I’ve been terribly busy and stressed in the process of trying to replace my car. Which has single-handedly been one of the worst experiences I’ve ever gone through.

Sounds dramatic right? No.

I have been:

Treated horribly bc I’m trying to buy a lower-priced used car outright instead of financing on any and I’ve had dealers tell me “I don’t care about those” and hang up on me

I had to pull money out of my college fund to even get a majority of my car budget and that was like pulling teeth

I was trying to save every penny I could of money I earned afterward so I was trying to spend NOTHING while literally picking pennies off the ground

I spent an entire day just rolling my own change to help my budget

I have gone to car lots trying to find a car I discovered online that is listed to be there only to find out it’s sold or even in another state

^ that happened to me 3 times

Some lots left listings on hella good car deals to lure people in

I found out I couldn’t finance a car bc I have no credit history but lord did they try for me to do so

And the biggest issue is that since I am a woman, I faced SO MUCH SHIT from dealers thinking I was an idiot or waisting their time.

One dealer literally lost his shit after I declined a sale because:

He was trying to finance me on a car worth 10k. From taxes and other fees and interest, and extra 6k was added to the car’s price. My car payment was gonna be almost $400/month and with having to get the insurance required for a car on lean I wouldn’t be able to spend any of my money on anything but the car for a year and he thought this was okay.

He was so sneaky he tried to get me to “drive the car home” to show my mom once she got off work. “All you gotta do is buy insurance and she can see it! And I’ll get you dealer tags!” THAT IS SELLING ME THE CAR. NO.

Once the deal fell through bc I refused to do anything but tell him we were done, he immediately changed with how he was acting and says “this is bullshit,” and proceeded to go fucking nuclear.

Said my parents didn’t love me bc they were going to buy a used car for me with no warranty and high mileage and I was gonna get screwed over even more than I already was without having a car.

He called my parents idiots for not co-signing and “I prayed to god for this deal and they won’t let you have it” — and overall he mostly zeroed in my mom, who bought two cars from them, saying she was a “fool” and “I couldn’t even talk to her for doing this to you.”

Said my parents didn’t love me and “you can’t do this to your daughters. Sons you can put in shitty used cars with high mileage, but your daughter? To have it break down on the side of the road? Haven’t they read the news? Don’t they know what happens to women?”

Complained that we were going to make him look like an idiot bc he reworked this car deal for me 4-5 times and now he’s gonna have to explain to his boss I said no and get him “in trouble” and that he might lose his job bc I’m not buying this car.

Needless to say I’ve been stressed as fuck this month.

And, a few days ago, I bought a car.

But it isn’t working out.

There was a crack in the windshield the dealer said they would replace. And this isn’t a sketchy side-of-the-road dealer, this is a franchised Ford dealership.

Well, the day after I bought my car (a green 2000 Honda CRV that needs some cosmetic love), I was told it would be fixed and they would call me to pick it up.

They didn’t do so. Either with calling me or fixing the windshield.

I called them 3 times, right after I got off from work at about 4, and then, about an hour before they were set to close.

I got a call back after leaving messages asking how my car was and if it was ready for pick up to come 10min before the dealer shut its doors for the night to get it.

So I show up and it’s raining and at night, so I don’t immediately see the crack is still there until I get home.

Thankfully I live right down the road, so I still had enough time to call them back and say: “wtf? This was supposed to be fixed? Y’all said it would be?”

The gentleman on the phone tells me: “Bring the car in tomorrow morning. We will get you a loan vehicle while we fix it and you should get it back same day. What time would you be coming in?”

I tell him about 9am or a little past, and he says he will make a note of it.

Come morning, I make sure to take pics of the windshield.

I take it, find out the guy to fix it isn’t even in till Monday, and since it’s a 7-8in crack it’s not safe to drive around with (the salesman even told me for it to be on the lot it had to be fixed).

So now o have a loaner car after getting to complain to the sales manager and I broke down crying bc I havent had my car for even 48hrs and they’re already having to take it back and keep it for several days longer.

The lady who does car loaning for people like me felt so bad she prayed for me before I left and texted me personally about my car bc i discovered they cleaned the brake pedal and it was worn down to expose metal— not a common thing you see on a car with only 97k miles.

Both she and I did research on the vehicle to make sure the odometer wasn’t rolled back (something highly illegal and fraudulent).

So I’m out of a car at least until Monday, but it just depends on how this all goes down.

Until then I have a 2019 Ford Edge and it’s nicer than anything I’ve ever been in but still.

So yeah. I haven’t brushed off ACW.

I literally have just been having the worst luck and time and this has taken priority over writing.

Not that I’m shitting on you anon, but this is what’s happening and this is why there won’t be an update this month.

I’m sorry, but it’s just how this has played out for me and everything else.

All i can say is that I hope this works out soon and for the better. 🤷‍♀️

[hello-em75]

TAGGED BY: my musk ox @chiefhiccstrid and @winxrus ! thanks guys!

last

drink: jasmine milk tea with boba! so goooood

phone call: my mom 

text message: my babe @chiefhiccstrid ;)

song you listened to: “eastside” by halsey, khalid, and benny blanco 

time you cried: two days ago when i watched inside out (how do you not tear up when bing bong sacrifices himself like he’s my hero)

ever

dated someone twice: well i haven’t dated someone once SOOO 

kissed someone and regretted it: haven’t had my first kiss yet loll

been cheated on: in my head yes JK 

lost someone special: i probably thought they were pretty special at the time, but then realized that they really weren’t all that

been depressed: no fortunately. i’ve had my bouts of sadness and loneliness more often than i’d like to admit, but i’ve always been surrounded by a loving family and i have my extra special best friend who always reminds me of how much i’m loved so i’m pretty blessed <333

gotten drunk and thrown up: not yet LMAO

fave color: i always say blue, but i’m always in some neutral color so probably gray, white, or black if it really came down to it

in the last year have you

made new friends: yep! and i’m incredibly thankful for them 

fallen out of love: if you mean an unhealthy level of infatuation then hells yes 

laughed until you cried: luckily yes

found out someone was talking about you: yeah, but it wasn’t anything bad so we’re good 

met someone who changed you: i wouldn’t say they changed me, but @chiefhiccstrid has definitely brought out nothing but the best in me since we’ve become friends, and i’m eternally grateful for that and her 

found out who your friends are: eh, i guess? we’re still “friends” in the sense that there’s still a strong sense of familiarity and trust among us all but they’re not the people i turn to first in the way that friends do

kissed someone on your facebook friends list: no kisses yet

how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: all of them pretty much

do you have any pets: nope! and it kills me every day

do you want to change your name: i used to think it was pretty basic, but now i can’t imagine myself with another one

what did you do for your last birthday: i was in las vegas with family and my dad’s friend’s family! i remember eating sushi, taking a solid nap in our hotel room, eating a overpriced and frankly not worth it “thanksgiving” dinner, opening presents, and eating cake lol

what time did you wake up today: around 10 AM LOLL

what were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping 

what is something you can’t wait for: httyd: thw (obviously) and graduating high school! 

what are you listening to right now: unfortunately, a spotify ad 

have you ever talked to a person named tom: only in my dreams bc tom holland and i are tight af in my head.

something that gets on your nerves: i could air out my laundry list here, but i’ll go with ignorant and narrow-minded people 

most visited website: i honestly don’t know between tumblr, ff.net, or one of my school websites that i have to go to everyday to get a good grade lol

hair color: it used to be a dark brown, but i got a balayage treatment done last year so it’s still brown but has streaks of blonde now too!

long or short hair: aggressively long but i honestly love it

what do you like about yourself: if looking externally, probably my eyes because that’s something people consistently compliment me on. if looking inwardly for something i like about myself (which is definitely harder), probably my sense of humor and go with the flow attitude towards most things lol

want any piercings: i have one set of piercings in my ears, but i kind of want to get another one in my ears to make it two sets!

blood type: i honestly don’t know and neither do my parents (without looking at any of my documents) so if i ever needed blood we’d be in real trouble hehe

nicknames: em is the main one, but pretty much everyone calls me emily irl.

relationship status: a questionably happy single ngl

zodiac: sagitarrius

pronouns: she/her

fave tv shows: race to the edge, voltron, trollhunters, queer eye, and the crown

tattoos: none yet! but i’m leaning towards getting one when i’m old enough to!

right or left handed: right-handed

ever had surgery: thankfully nope

piercings: only in my ears

sport: i probably would be okay at most of them if i was at all fast but nope lol

I have practiced: piano, violin, clarinet, and guitar (which i eventually all quit). 

vacation: gosh, i want to go all over the world because i’ve pretty much traveled only in the us and canada in my lifetime thus far SO LETS INTERNATIONALLY TRAVEL

trainers: if this is relevant to sneakers, then yes i have had them in the past year. but if not, then i have no clue LOL.

more general

eating: nothing atm

drinking: nothing atm

about to watch: nothing, because i should be asleep at 2 AM haha

waiting for: httyd: thw and money to fall in my lap so i can go visit all of my rad httyd fandom friends and not be fucking broke going into college

want: happiness? lasting love? a sense of security? success? is this too deep for this question bc i went there LOL

want to get married: definitely one day!

career: nothing yet! still have to graduate hs and go through college first

which is better

hugs or kisses: hugs

lips or eyes: eyes

shorter or taller: taller

older or younger: for a relationship, i would rather them be older then younger

nice arms or stomach: arms

hookup or relationship: relationship

troublemaker or hesitant: oof can there be somewhere in between?

have you ever

kissed a stranger: nope

drunk hard liquor: psh i’m not that cool jk

lost glasses: yes, but always after i get new ones luckily

turned someone down: yes, but still not 100% sure if they were joking or not when asking me out so maybe no?

sex on first date: nah that’s not really me

broken someone’s heart: gosh i sure hope not

had your heart broken: at the time i probably saw it that way

been arrested: not yet lmao

cried when someone died: if we’re talking about stoick then yes LOL

fallen for a friend: nope! at most they’ve been acquaintances or surface-level friends tbh

do you believe in

yourself: it changes on the daily

miracles: hmm i guess? like i believe that they can happen, but i wouldn’t pray for one or hope for one if there’s a way i can take to achieving something myself if that makes sense

love at first sight: attraction yes, “love” is a hard no

santa claus: at one point in time i did, but not now

kiss on a first date: it really depends on the date and who the guy is 

angels: yes

others

best friend’s name: stefanie :))))))

eye color: hazel

fave movie: httyd/httyd2, spiderman homecoming, mulan, princess and the frog, the incredibles, and probably more bc i’m brainfarting atm

fave actors: tom holland, chris evans, america ferrera, andree vermeulen, jay baruchel, lana condor, noah centineo, awkwafina, gemma chan, anna kendrick, and probably a whole bunch more that i’m blanking on lol

TAGGING: @involuntarydiaphragmspasm , @fanaticfangirl2602 , @astridthevalkyrie , @drchee5e , @hotccup , @howtodrawyourdragon , @ashleybenlove , @whosthatgal , @knowerofuselessfacts , @evilwriter37, @lutavero and anyone else who wants to do it! 

[kiwilesbian]

i was tagged by @darthlightwood !!!

rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people  whoever wants to bc i never know who likes to do these things

tagging: all of u

the last:

1. drink: blueberry tea 2. phone call: jordyn 3. text message: jordyn 4. song you listened to: praying by kesha (i think) 5. time you cried: ummm like four or five days ago idk

have you ever:

6. dated someone twice: yes, now 7. kissed someone and regretted it: yes, my 8th grade boyfriend lmao 8. been cheated on: yeah i think so ?? but it wasnt a long/serious relationship anyway lol 9. lost someone special: yes 10. been depressed: yes 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: yes 

3 favorite colors:

12. blue 13. purple 14. pink

in the last year have you: 15. made new friends: not that i hang out with or anything but online, yes 16. fallen out of love: yes 17. laughed until you cried: yes 18. found out someone was talking about you: yeS lmao everyone talks about u after u come out and i love hearing about it 19. met someone who changed you: iiiii don’t think so 20. found out who your friends are: idk 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: yes

general:

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: like 90% of them and the rest are internet friends 23. do you have any pets: three cats!! 24. do you want to change your name: no 25. what did you do for your last birthday: my two friends and i went to my parents house for dinner 26. what time did you wake up: 9:45ish 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: talking to jordyn on facetime probably 28. name something you can’t wait for: moving into my apartment on the 23rd, jordyn coming back the 25th  31. what are you listening to right now: nothing 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes 33. something that is getting on your nerves: the way my mom acts when i’m driving 34. most visited website: tumblr and twitter 35. hair colour: brown 36. long or short hair: long 39. piercings: just my ears 40. blood type: a+ 41. nicknames: ruthie is my nickname technically but on top of that there’s rutherford and ruth-inn 42. relationship status: in a relationship  43. zodiac: pisces 44. pronouns: she/her 45. favourite tv show: shadowhunters rn, the bold type is really promising, jane the virgin, the flash 46. tattoos: none 47. right or left handed: left 48. surgery: none 49. piercing: this was Just asked lmao 50. sport: i used to play tennis 51. vacation: i desperately want to go to italy asdlfkjasfd someone take me please 52. pair of trainers: “”trainers”“ lol i only have a pair of tennis shoes for work/school (that are a lil ugly but very comfortable) and a pair of black vans bc i h8 shoes

more general:

53. eating: nothing but i had olive garden earlier 54. drinking: already asked,,, but blueberry tea (im sick) 55. i’m about to: watch netflix probably 56. waiting for: my sore throat to clear up 57. want: money 58. get married: this isn’t even phrased as a question?? but yes i want to 59. career: nursing

which is better:

60. hugs or kisses: kisses while hugging. boom. 61. lips or eyes: lips 62. shorter or taller: taller  63. older or younger: older   64. nice arms or nice stomach: nice stomach 2 lay on comfortably 65. hook up or relationship: relationship 66. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant i guess i dont have time to be worried abt getting in trouble

have you ever:

67. kissed a stranger: no 68. drank hard liquor: yes 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: i mean i lose my glasses every 2 seconds but then i find them  70. turned someone down: no lmao 71. sex on the first date: no 72. broken someone’s heart: no 73. had your heart broken: yes 74. been arrested: no 75. cried when someone died: yes 76. fallen for a friend: yes

do you believe in:

77. yourself: sometimes 78. miracles: yeah 79. love at first sight: noooooo 80. santa claus: obviously 81. kiss on the first date: yes 82. angels: no

other:

83. current best friend’s name: londs (lindsay) 84. eye colour: mine? blue 85. favourite movie: wonder woman and love actually