#prepare for dumb game stuff

[dumbbullet]

Hope my dnd players are ready for their toughest challenge yet

[cloudyluun]

Soft Spot

Summary: Harry Styles is the world’s most effortlessly cocky bastard in public. But behind closed doors? He’s soft for one person, her. Their love is private, sacred, the only thing that’s ever truly been his. But the internet is relentless, the rumors won’t stop, and she starts to wonder if she’ll ever fit into his world. Just when she’s about to pull away, Harry makes sure she never doubts it again. AKA: Soft (but also possessive) boyfriend Harry? Check. Jealous, protective, doesn’t-take-shit Harry? Also check. A public declaration, viral paparazzi moments, and one very necessary smut scene? You already know.

A/N: This fic is based on two requests (this one and this one from @dipmeinhoneyh) that fit so perfectly together I had no choice but to make it a full story. I hope you love it, I hope it makes you feral, and I hope you leave this feeling at least 10% more in love with Harry Styles than you already were. Also, if you ever see a man carrying all your bags through an airport while wearing your shirt?? Marry him immediately.

Word Count: 6k

Warnings: 

Smut (obviously)—possessive, praise-heavy, SOFT but also FILTHY

Harry being the most protective, doting, airport-sherpa boyfriend alive

Jealousy and minor confrontation (because someone was dumb enough to question her worth)

Public scrutiny and social media toxicity (but don’t worry, he shuts that shit down)

Excessive amounts of boyfriend fluff (back rubs, forehead kisses, and “mine” moments galore)

Did I mention the smut? Because THE SMUT.

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

Harry Styles was a menace.

Everyone knew it—especially the media. He wasn’t just the biggest name in music, he was also a nightmare to interview. He had little patience for industry bullshit, answered questions with nothing but a smirk or a sip of his drink, and rarely—if ever—gave the press what they wanted.

At this point, journalists had learned to come prepared when sitting across from him. They needed strategy, a solid game plan, and maybe even a shot of whiskey beforehand. Because Harry? Harry made it difficult.

And God, did he enjoy it.

The first clip that went viral was from a BBC interview.

The journalist was older, seasoned. She’d been in the game for decades and knew how to handle difficult personalities. Or at least, she thought she did.

The interview had been going fine—as fine as an interview with Harry Styles could be. He’d leaned back in his chair, one arm draped over the backrest, looking like he owned the place. Dressed in a half-unbuttoned silk shirt and tailored trousers, he was a picture of effortless arrogance.

Then she asked, “Do you think you’re difficult?”

Harry blinked. Didn’t move for a second. Then—slowly, deliberately—he picked up his drink, took a long sip, and held eye contact the entire time.

The silence stretched.

And stretched.

The journalist swallowed.

Finally, Harry licked his lips, tilted his head, and asked, “D’you think I care?”

The second clip was worse.

A different interview, a different day, same energy.

Harry was sitting in front of a panel of radio hosts, arms crossed, tattoos peeking out from under the loose sleeves of his sweater. The conversation had been moving along at a leisurely pace, touching on his tour, his latest album, the usual surface-level stuff.

Then one of the hosts leaned forward, smug, thinking he had the upper hand.

“So, tell us, Harry. What’s the song ‘Soft Spot’ about?”

Harry, who had been absentmindedly fiddling with one of his rings, paused. He exhaled through his nose, the barest hint of amusement curling at the corners of his mouth.

Then—without hesitation—he shrugged. “Dunno. Just a song.”

The hosts groaned in frustration.

The internet? Ate it up.

Edits of him smirking, of him dodging questions with effortless ease, flooded Twitter and TikTok. People captioned them with things like “This man is impossible” and “Certified menace behavior”.

The general consensus?

Harry Styles didn’t answer questions unless he wanted to.

Until someone asked about her.

It happened during a late-night talk show appearance.

The studio was dimly lit, the crowd buzzing with anticipation. Harry was perched on the couch, one leg crossed over the other, fingers playing absentmindedly with the chain around his neck. He was half-paying attention, answering questions with his usual brand of casual indifference.

Then the host, a sharp-eyed comedian known for catching celebrities off guard, grinned. “Alright, Harry. I have a question I think the people really want to know.”

Harry didn’t react much. Just arched a slow, lazy brow. “Yeah?”

“You’ve been seen with the same girl a lot lately…”

For the first time all night, something shifted.

Subtly. Almost imperceptibly.

But it was there, the way his fingers paused against the metal of his chain, the way his shoulders tensed, just slightly, the way his mouth twitched, like he was already biting back a smirk.

The audience leaned forward.

The internet, watching from their screens, held their breath.

Harry tilted his head, slowly. His lips parted, there it was. That signature smirk, the one that sent fans into a frenzy.

“Yeah?”

The host grinned, seeing the shift. “Care to comment?”

There was a beat of silence.

Then—Harry grinned. Not his usual mocking, I’m-so-over-this smirk. A real grin. The kind that made his dimples crease, the kind that softened his otherwise sharp edges.

His fingers tapped once, twice against his thigh.

Then, he looked directly into the camera, his voice dropping just a fraction.

“She’s great.”

The studio lost it.

The audience roared—cheers, gasps, the works. Twitter exploded before the show even finished airing. Within minutes, #ShesGreat was trending worldwide.

Fans analyzed the clip from every angle:

The way his face softened.

The way his body language changed.

The fact that he—HARRY STYLES, NOTORIOUS MENACE—HAD ACTUALLY ANSWERED.

He didn’t say her name. Didn’t confirm anything outright. But the shift in him? The softness in his voice?

That was all people needed.

It was real.

And the world wasn’t ready.

Y/N wasn’t famous.

She wasn’t an actress, a model, a singer, or an influencer. There was no glamorous past, no viral moment that put her on the map. No high-profile connections, no childhood dream of Hollywood stardom.

She was just a girl with a normal life—one that, up until a year ago, had been blissfully simple.

Her days had always followed a rhythm.

Morning coffee at her favorite little café, tucked into a corner booth with a book. Work, which she genuinely enjoyed—something steady, something real, something that felt like hers. Drinks with friends on Fridays, lazy Sundays spent in oversized sweaters, grocery shopping in peace without having to worry about cameras or strangers whispering her name.

She had a routine. A quiet, predictable world.

Then Harry Styles had walked into it.

And ruined everything.

She still didn’t know how it had happened.

It was easy to pinpoint the beginning—the first time their paths had crossed, the first time she’d realized that Harry fucking Styles wasn’t just a name on a magazine cover, but a person with thoughts and moods and an irritatingly sharp wit.

But she never expected it to go anywhere.

At first, he was just a guy who flirted too much.

Then he was a guy who made her laugh.

Then he was the guy she couldn’t stop thinking about.

And somehow—without her even noticing—he became hers.

It had been over a year now. Twelve whole months of him.

Twelve months of stolen moments, whispered conversations in the dark, secret rendezvous that always ended with his lips on her skin and his voice murmuring, “Just us, love. That’s all that matters.”

Twelve months of hiding.

Because Harry? Harry was obsessed with keeping her safe.

"It’s our life, not theirs," he told her once. "You don’t owe them shit."

She’d been curled up in his lap when he said it, her fingers tracing lazy patterns over the tattoos on his arm.

She had been scared that night—really, truly scared.

Her phone had blown up with messages from friends, all linking her to articles and Twitter threads dissecting her existence. Speculation had spread like wildfire after one blurry photo of them together made it online. Nothing too obvious—just a candid shot of her walking ahead of him, their fingers barely brushing.

But it was enough.

Enough for people to start digging.

Within hours, her social media had been flooded. Comments, theories, strangers demanding to know who the hell she was and why she thought she deserved him.

She had wanted to throw her phone into the ocean.

Instead, she had buried her face into the curve of Harry’s neck, inhaling the scent of him—warm skin and expensive cologne and something inherently his. Something safe.

“I don’t think I can do this,” she had admitted, voice barely above a whisper.

Harry’s grip on her had tightened immediately. Protective. Possessive.

“You don’t have to,” he’d murmured. “Not like that. Not the way they want.”

And that was how they lived. No red carpets. No public declarations. No letting the world in. Just them, in their little bubble—hidden away in hotel rooms and dimly lit apartments, in long drives with the windows down, in whispered confessions at three in the morning.

It was beautiful. It was safe.

But Y/N knew—deep down, in the quiet moments when she was alone with her thoughts—that the world wouldn’t stop trying to tear it apart.

Because it wasn’t just them anymore. It hadn’t been for a while.

And no matter how fiercely Harry tried to protect her from it, the outside world was still watching.

Still waiting.

Still hungry for cracks in the foundation.

They didn’t understand him.

The world saw one version of Harry Styles.

The public version. The one who didn’t give a single shit what anyone thought of him. The one who strolled into interviews with that lazy, half-lidded smirk, sprawled out in his chair like he had all the time in the world, deliberately giving them nothing just to piss them off.

“Harry, is it true you walked out of your last meeting with the label?”

He barely blinked. “Wouldn’t you?”

“Is it also true that you—”

A slow sip of his drink. A deliberate pause.

Then, just for fun, a cocked eyebrow. “Dunno. You tell me.”

Click. Click. Click. Cameras flashing. Headlines already writing themselves.

Harry Styles: Rock’s Most Arrogant Asshole.

Harry Styles—Too Famous To Care?

Harry Styles Gives Zero Fucks About Literally Everything.

It was a game. One he didn’t mind playing.

Because the more they focused on the persona, the less they looked too closely at what really mattered.

The less they dug into his real life.

The less they found her.

Because private Harry?

A completely different person.

Private Harry sent texts like, “be home in 5”, because he knew she worried. Because he knew she’d never say it out loud, but if he was running late, she’d start pacing the kitchen, chewing at her bottom lip, imagining the worst.

Private Harry stole her hand cream and chapstick just to smell like her when she wasn’t around.

Private Harry carried her bags through airports like they weighed nothing, insisting every time, “Not letting you lift a damn thing, love.”

Private Harry curled around her in his sleep, face buried against the curve of her neck, his fingers tracing absentminded patterns along her spine until he drifted off—breathing easier when she was there.

No one saw that Harry.

And he preferred it that way.

But every once in a while, the world got a glimpse.

And when they did, it fucking broke the internet.

One moment in particular had gone insanely viral.

It had been a bad day—one of those relentless, aggressive paparazzi swarms outside a studio in L.A.

Harry had already been in a foul mood—late for a meeting, running on three hours of sleep, coming off a night of back-to-back phone calls that had left him rubbing his temples in frustration.

The cameras had been waiting for him the second he stepped out the door.

“Harry! Over here!”

“Harry, how’s the new album?”

“Harry, what’s the deal with the tour delay?”

He ignored them. Didn’t even look up.

Then someone got too close—flashed a camera right in his face, nearly knocking into him.

And that was it.

He snapped.

“Fuck off, yeah?” Sharp, cutting, the words slicing through the air like a whip. His jaw locked, his body tense.

Paparazzi shuffled back, startled.

They knew his reputation.

They’d seen him do this before.

They thought that was the whole show.

Until Y/N appeared.

She had been standing a few feet behind him, waiting.

The second he turned and saw her, everything about him changed.

His scowl softened. His hands, which had been clenched into fists? Relaxed.

And in front of dozens of cameras, in front of the very people he’d just been spitting fire at, Harry immediately reached for her—a steadying touch to her back, a soft tilt of his head. “Y’alright, love?”

Quiet. Gentle. Intimate.

As if nothing else existed in that moment but her.

The paparazzi?

Fucking shook.

The clip blew up online within hours.

Side-by-side comparisons flooded Twitter:

🚨 Harry Styles telling the press to fuck off vs. Harry Styles turning into the softest human alive the second his girlfriend walks into frame. 🚨

Memes. Reactions. Fans dissecting the exact millisecond his demeanor changed.

WHO IS SHE?!

HOW DOES SHE HAVE HIM WRAPPED AROUND HER FINGER LIKE THAT?!

The discourse was endless.

And Harry?

Didn’t say a damn word about it.

Because as long as they were talking about that, they weren’t looking for more.

They weren’t digging deeper.

And that meant she was still safe.

For now.

But the internet was relentless.

Because the thing about secrets—especially ones that belong to someone as famous as Harry Styles—is that they don’t stay secrets for long.

And when people suspect even the smallest sliver of something?

They become obsessed.

It started with something small.

Something that, to anyone else, would have seemed like nothing at all.

Harry had been spotted leaving a café in London, his sleeves rolled up, sunglasses perched lazily on his nose, a coffee cup in one hand.

But that wasn’t what fans noticed.

No.

What they noticed was the bracelet on his wrist.

A thin, woven band. Nothing fancy, nothing designer.

And—most importantly—not his.

The theories exploded.

GUYS. HARRY’S WEARING A FRIENDSHIP BRACELET. HAS HE EVER WORN ONE BEFORE? NO. WHO MADE IT?!

Look at the colors. Do we think there’s a meaning?

I AM SO SERIOUS THIS IS A HANDMADE BRACELET SOMEONE IS IN LOVE WITH HIM AND IT IS NOT ME

WHO THE FUCK IS SHEEEE?

There was no confirmation.

No proof.

But that didn’t stop people from digging.

Because once the internet smelled a mystery, they wouldn’t let it go.

Then came the coffee shop photo.

Blurry. Grainy. Taken at just the right angle to be nearly useless—but not quite.

Because despite the bad quality, despite the distance, despite everything, one thing was clear.

He wasn’t alone.

There was a girl across from him.

A girl who wasn’t famous.

A girl who was sitting comfortably in his presence, laughing at something he said, one hand wrapped around her mug, the other resting—casually, easily—on the table between them.

Too close.

Too familiar.

Too real.

The internet lost its collective mind.

HARRY STYLES SPOTTED WITH THE MYSTERY GIRL IN LONDON—NEW GIRLFRIEND?!

HARRY DATING SOMEONE? WHO IS SHE?!

WHO IS SHE. WHO IS SHE. WHO IS SHE. WHO IS SHE. WHO IS SHE.

I KNOW WHO SHE IS @yourusername!!

The photo was picked apart frame by frame.

Theories flooded TikTok and Twitter.

Some people were excited—because Harry in love?! Soft domestic boyfriend Harry?! They’d been dreaming of this for years.

But not everyone was happy.

Because some people… some people wanted access.

Some people wanted control.

Some people wanted to destroy anything that felt too real.

It started small.

A few comments.

A few tweets.

A few people saying she wasn’t good enough.

That she was using him.

That she was just another clout chaser who would milk this for all it was worth.

Then the DMs started.

Vicious. Personal. Cruel.

You’ll never be good enough for him.

You’re ruining his career.

No one wants you here.

He’ll leave you just like he’s left all the others.

And she told herself that she wouldn’t let it get to her.

That it didn’t matter.

That these people didn’t know her.

That as long as Harry was with her—really with her—nothing else mattered.

But it wasn’t just online anymore.

Because now, when she stepped outside, she swore she could feel the eyes on her.

Now, when she walked into her favorite coffee shop, she hesitated—half-expecting someone to recognize her.

Now, when she reached for her phone, her hands shook.

She started pulling away. Just a little.

Stopped texting first.

Stopped answering right away.

Stopped leaning into his touch as freely as she had before.

And Harry—because of course Harry noticed—tilted his head at her one night when she turned away from his kiss, his brow furrowing, his thumb tracing soft circles against her wrist.

“Alright, love?”

Her chest ached.

Because he was looking at her like that.

Like he knew.

Like he could see right through her.

Like he was already worried.

She forced a smile. Pressed a quick, barely-there kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“Yeah,” she whispered.

And lied.

The industry party was a mistake.

Y/N had known it the second they walked in.

The air inside the private venue was thick with expensive perfume, whiskey, and the kind of arrogance that could only come from people who knew they were untouchable.

The laughter was too loud. The conversations too sharp, dripping with faux warmth and hidden daggers.

She felt out of place immediately.

It wasn’t her world.

It never had been.

And standing next to Harry—Harry, who fit into this world so effortlessly, who could command attention just by existing, who seemed to belong in a way she never could—only made it worse.

He hadn’t let go of her hand since they arrived.

Had kept her close, thumb brushing over the back of her knuckles, squeezing her fingers in silent reassurance every few minutes, as if he could feel the tension in her shoulders, sense the way she was holding her breath.

But no amount of grounding touches could change the fact that she didn’t belong here.

That much became even more obvious when the wrong person decided to open their mouth.

He was a producer.

Smarmy. Arrogant. The kind of man who loved the sound of his own voice and had been in the industry long enough to think he could get away with saying anything.

And for some reason—maybe it was the champagne, maybe it was just sheer audacity—he chose her as his next target.

“Didn’t think this was your type, Harry.”

Y/N froze.

Harry stiffened next to her.

The producer took a slow sip of his drink, eyes flickering over her like she was something to be inspected.

“Quiet little thing, huh? Thought rockstars liked more excitement.”

Her stomach dropped.

It wasn’t just the words.

It was the way he said them.

The smirk. The condescension. The absolute certainty that he was untouchable, that he could say whatever the fuck he wanted without consequence.

Y/N shrank back before she could stop herself.

And that was when Harry snapped.

He didn’t move right away.

Didn’t react instantly.

Just went completely, unnervingly still.

A muscle jumped in his jaw.

His fingers—still tangled with hers—tightened.

And then—slowly, deliberately—he turned.

And stepped right into the guy’s space.

Harry Styles didn’t have to raise his voice to be intimidating.

Didn’t have to yell, didn’t have to make a scene.

All he had to do was look at someone the right way.

And the producer? He knew.

He fucking knew.

Because suddenly, the confidence wavered.

The smirk faded.

The hand holding his drink trembled just slightly.

“She’s worth more than you ever will be,” Harry said, voice low, icy, laced with so much venom that Y/N shivered.

And then—as if to drive the point home—his hand found her waist, pulled her against him, shielded her from the world with nothing but the sheer force of his presence.

It was a warning.

A claim.

And everyone in the room fucking knew it.

He didn’t let go of her for the rest of the night.

Didn’t stop touching her.

Didn’t stop checking on her.

And when they finally left—when they were finally alone—he held her even closer.

She should have felt safe.

Should have felt protected.

But instead, something heavy settled in her chest.

Because the truth was, this wasn’t just about one asshole at a party.

It was about all of it.

The industry. The fans. The internet. The constant feeling of not being enough.

And maybe… maybe they were right.

Maybe she really wasn’t enough for him.

She wasn’t going to say it.

She wasn’t.

But then Harry—still holding her, still watching her like she was the only thing in the world that mattered—brushed his lips against her forehead, whispered, “You alright, love?”

And it just—it broke her.

Her breath hitched.

And suddenly, she was blurting it out before she could stop herself.

“Maybe they’re right,” she whispered, voice barely above a breath.

Harry froze.

“Maybe I’m not enough for you.”

His entire body tensed.

Like she had just physically hit him.

Like the words had physically hurt him.

“Don’t you ever say that again.”

It wasn’t a plea.

It wasn’t a request.

It was a command.

His hands framed her face, tilting her chin up, forcing her to meet his gaze.

And when she did—when she really looked at him—she almost couldn’t handle what she saw.

Because he was devastated.

Shattered.

“Don’t you ever—” His breath shuddered, his forehead pressing against hers. “—say that again.”

She swallowed. “Harry—”

“No.” His grip tightened, like he was afraid she’d slip away if he let go. “You belong with me. Here. Always.” His lips brushed hers, desperate, aching. “And I don’t care what anyone else says.”

She closed her eyes.

Breathed him in.

Let him hold her together, piece by piece.

Because if Harry Styles believed she belonged—

Maybe—just maybe—she could believe it, too.

The storm hadn’t passed.

Not really.

The world still had its claws in them, still watched their every move, still dissected every glance, every touch, every fleeting moment caught on camera.

But Harry… Harry never wavered.

Not once.

Not even when the headlines got uglier.

Not even when the whispers turned into full-blown speculation.

Not even when she started pulling back again, flinching at every flash of a camera, hesitating before reaching for his hand in public, terrified of giving them more fuel.

He noticed.

Of course he noticed.

But he didn’t push.

Didn’t force her to talk about it.

Didn’t tell her that she was still enough, still his, still the only thing in his life that mattered more than anything.

No.

Harry Styles didn’t waste his breath on words.

He showed her.

And the whole damn world saw it.

Madison Square Garden.

A sold-out crowd.

Phones up. Lights blinding.

It was a big night—bigger than most.

The kind of night that would be talked about for years, the kind of performance that would live forever in grainy fan videos, breathless social media posts, and blurry concert footage.

And she wasn’t supposed to be there.

Hadn’t planned on coming.

Had told Harry she’d stay home—avoid the cameras, avoid the crowd, avoid the possibility of being dragged into something she never wanted to be a part of.

But somehow—somehow—she found herself standing in the wings, heart in her throat, hands curled into fists at her sides as she watched him command the stage.

It was impossible not to be captivated.

Impossible not to watch the way he moved, the way he laughed into the mic between songs, the way he glowed under the stage lights.

He was in his element.

He belonged here.

And she—

Well.

She was just trying to stay invisible.

But then—

He turned.

Looked right at her.

And everything stopped.

Because suddenly—mid-show, mid-crowd, mid-fucking-Madison-Square-Garden—Harry Styles did something he never did.

He talked about her.

On stage.

For the world to hear.

“This one’s for someone who thinks she doesn’t belong in my world,” he said, voice steady, eyes never leaving hers.

The crowd screamed.

A roar—loud and deafening and completely unaware of what was actually happening.

“But she is my world.”

Her breath caught.

And then—before she could process what was happening—

He started playing.

A new song.

Unreleased.

Just for her.

And the lyrics—oh, the fucking lyrics.

They were filled with pieces of them.

Little inside jokes woven into verses, fragments of whispered late-night confessions hidden in melodies, the kind of details that only she would understand.

A love letter.

A declaration.

A warning to the world that she was his and he was hers, and that nothing—not the industry, not the headlines, not the relentless scrutiny of millions—could change that.

The internet lost its mind.

Clips went viral within minutes.

Fan theories exploded.

But none of it mattered.

Not really.

Because in that moment—in the middle of everything, in front of everyone, under the brightest damn spotlight possible—

It was just them.

And she belonged.

She didn’t hear the rest of the set.

Not really.

Not past the pounding of her heart, not past the static in her brain, not past the overwhelming realization that he had just done that.

For her.

For everyone to hear.

The screaming of the crowd blurred into white noise. The energy in the arena buzzed around her, the walls seeming to pulse with the sound of thousands of people still losing their minds.

But she couldn’t move.

Couldn’t think.

Couldn’t do anything except stare at the stage where he still stood, grinning like he hadn’t just shattered her entire world in the best possible way.

Because Harry Styles didn’t do things like this.

He dodged questions in interviews.

Shrugged off rumors.

Gave the media nothing to work with.

And yet, tonight—tonight, he had given them everything.

And she had no idea how to breathe through it.

Somewhere along the way, her fingers had curled into the fabric of her sweater, clutching at herself like it might help her stay grounded. Like she wasn’t seconds away from dissolving into nothing but feelings.

Because she knew what this meant.

Knew what it would cause.

Knew that by morning, headlines would be flooded with theories, and her name—or at least her existence—would be dragged into the light again.

But she couldn’t bring herself to care.

Because he’d said she was his world.

He’d said she belonged.

And maybe—just maybe—she believed him.

She was still in a daze when the show ended.

Still stuck in her own head when the lights in the arena dimmed, when the roaring of the crowd turned to scattered cheers and fading echoes of his name.

She barely noticed the way people moved around her.

Security, crew members, the distant hum of conversation—it all faded into the background.

Until—

“There you are.”

Her breath caught.

And then he was there.

Harry.

Still sweaty, still breathless from the high of performing, still looking at her like she was the only thing in the entire fucking world.

He didn’t say anything at first.

Didn’t ask if she’d liked the song.

Didn’t joke about how she’d better have been paying attention.

Didn’t do anything except close the space between them, hands gripping her face, lips pressing against her forehead, breath warm and shaky against her skin.

And she—

God.

She melted.

Because she could feel it—everything he wasn’t saying, everything he had already said on that stage.

The weight of it settled in her chest, so thick she thought she might break apart.

And then—so quietly she almost missed it—

“Tell me you’re staying.”

Her heart slammed against her ribs.

Because he knew.

Of course he fucking knew.

Knew how much she had struggled with this.

Knew how many times she had almost walked away.

Knew how much she loved him, but how terrified she was of all of this.

And yet—

His voice was steady.

Not desperate.

Not pleading.

Just… certain.

Like he already knew the answer.

Like he already knew her.

And maybe he did.

Because before she could second-guess herself—before she could let doubt creep in, before she could convince herself she wasn’t strong enough for this—

She nodded.

Just once.

And Harry fucking collapsed against her.

Exhaling like he’d been holding his breath for months.

Arms wrapping around her like he was afraid she might disappear.

Lips crashing against hers in a kiss that was anything but careful.

Because it wasn’t a question anymore.

Wasn’t a hesitation or a what if or an I don’t know.

It was real.

It was them.

And she was staying.

His hotel room was dark, save for the soft glow from the city outside.

But she barely noticed.

Because the only thing that mattered—the only thing that existed in this moment—was him.

Harry.

Pressed against her, warm and solid, breath still uneven from everything that had led to this.

His hands were everywhere.

Not rushed. Not desperate. Just certain.

Slow, teasing touches down her spine.

Fingertips tracing the dip of her waist.

Lips skimming along her throat, up to the shell of her ear, where his voice was low, husky, full of intent.

"Gonna remind you who you belong to, yeah?"

Her breath hitched.

Because fuck.

She’d heard that voice before—cocky, teasing, full of mischief when he was playing up his charm.

But this?

This was different.

This was a promise.

Her fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt, gripping, needing—but he wasn’t in any rush.

Because Harry didn’t just take.

He worshipped.

And she felt it.

In the way his hands moved over her skin—slow, deliberate.

In the way he kissed her—deep, devastating.

Like he had all the time in the world.

Like she was the only thing in it.

His mouth found the curve of her shoulder.

The dip between her ribs.

The inside of her wrist, where her pulse thrummed beneath his lips.

Every inch of her.

And with every kiss, every touch, came a whisper.

"You're everything, love."

"Perfect for me."

"Mine."

Her face burned, but he wouldn’t let her look away.

Wouldn’t let her shrink away from the way he saw her.

Because when she got shy—when she tried to hide—

He caught her chin, thumb tracing her jaw, forcing her to meet his gaze.

And fuck, that look.

Like she was something sacred.

Like she was something he could never get enough of.

"Look at you, taking me so well."

Her breath shuddered out of her.

And God, he knew what he was doing.

The filthy praise, the way he held her like she was precious, the possessiveness in his voice—

It was too much and not enough, all at once.

And he didn’t stop.

Didn’t stop until she was falling apart beneath him, gasping his name, hands tangled in his hair, nails raking down his back.

Didn’t stop until she was completely his.

And then—when the world had settled again, when their breathing was slow and tangled together, when she was half-asleep in his arms

Harry took care of her.

Of course he did.

Because he always did.

Pressed a kiss to her temple.

Murmured soft things against her skin as he cleaned her up, as he wrapped her up in him.

Strong arms pulling her close, keeping her warm, keeping her safe.

Only ever his.

And just before sleep pulled her under—

Just before her body fully relaxed against his—

She heard it.

Soft.

Low.

Meant just for her.

"Love you, you know that?"

And she did.

God, she did.

But what really got her—what really made her heart ache in the best, most devastating way—was that he never said it like he needed her to say it back.

Never said it like he was waiting for some kind of validation.

He said it like a fact.

Like the sun would rise tomorrow.

Like the sky was blue.

Like her being his was something permanent.

And maybe it was.

The airport was a nightmare.

The second they stepped inside, cameras started flashing, voices shouting—Harry! Over here! Is that your girlfriend?! Harry, can you confirm—

He ignored them.

Of course he did.

Didn’t even flinch.

Just kept walking, kept his hand firmly on the small of her back, kept her close.

And he was carrying everything.

Her suitcase.

Her tote bag.

Her carry-on.

Even the stupid travel pillow she’d nearly forgotten in the car.

Meanwhile, she was strolling beside him, completely unbothered, sipping her coffee like she didn’t have a single care in the world.

The contrast? Insane.

And the internet lost its mind.

The tweets came fast.

@stylesupdates: HARRY CARRYING EVERY SINGLE ONE OF HER BAGS WHILE SHE JUST DRINKS HER COFFEE??? SIR. YOU ARE WHIPPED.

@hslotlover: HE'S WEARING HER SHIRT (it’s posted on her Instagram @yourusername) AGAIN I CAN’T DO THIS TODAY.

Because, yeah.

He was.

It was an old, slightly oversized tee—hers.

The one she always stole from his drawer. The one she wore to bed whenever he wasn’t around.

And now?

Now he was wearing it in public.

On purpose.

Like some kind of quiet, undeniable statement.

Like a middle finger to the world.

But the real moment—the one that cemented it all—was the photo.

A blurry, candid shot someone snapped from across the terminal.

Harry, walking ahead, death glaring at the paparazzi.

Her, right behind him, looking effortlessly soft, untouchable.

And the caption?

"He’s still an asshole, and she’s still his soft spot."

And fuck.

If that wasn’t the truest thing anyone had ever said.

Because the world still didn’t get it.

But he didn’t care.

Because she was his.

And that was enough.

That had always been enough.

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

Thank you so much for reading, you’re a total angel! Don’t forget to like, comment, and reblog if you enjoyed! It means everything to me! 💖

taglist: @oscahpastry @mema10 @angelbabyyy99 @iloveharrystyles04 @cinemharry @drwho06 @donutsandpalmtrees @panini @mads3502 @imgonnadreamaboutthewayyoutaaaa @one-sweet-gubler @rizosrizos26 @ciriceimpera @everyscarisahealingplace @hello-heyhi @sexymfharriet @lizsogolden @hannah9921 @chicabonitasblog @huhidontknowstuff @berrywoods1245 @jennovaaa @angeldavis777 @prettygurl-2009 @almostcontentcreator @run-for-the-hills @maudie-duan @dipmeinhoneyh @harrrrystylesslut @georgiarose94 @stylestarkey @watarmelon212 @hopefullimaginer123, @fangirl509east @bethiegurl19 @adoredeanna @secretisme4 @harry2121 @hopefullimaginer123 @fangirl509east @uncassettodiricordi @2601-london @zbaby @harryscherries28 @michellekstyles

[toxycodone]

PLEASE! TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT DAISUKE AND A POSSIBLE RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM. I'm begging and crying, please

ship. daisuke x reader

content. sfw + romantic

an. i have not been reading any other content but I’ve seen the massive complaints of people babying him through the grapevine 💀 so well. hopefully my thoughts are good

We all know this but Daisuke is seriously such a cutie.

Just. He’s so outwardly kind and enthusiastic, so before you two are even dating he’s practically just glued to your hip.

I think before any romance is involved he makes a great friend. He’s inviting you to his house to play video games (his mom makes snacks which is lowkey embarrassing but also pretty cute).

Honestly I think his mom is trying to teach him to be an adult but also like. Cannot stop babying him. Like he’s such a good son could you resist spoiling him?

And it just spirals to you too bc like! You’re the guest! Going to his place is always nice bc it’s like yay! It’s like they practically adopted you. (It wears out tho his mom makes you start doing your own dishes or something and it’s like oh. You’re *really* apart of the family.)

ANYWAYS ENOUGH. but before you two get together. Daisuke’s crush on you is like. So obvious.

He tries so hard to keep it to himself bc he’s afraid to ruin whatever you have right now but. Geez.

He lights up when he sees you and is almost talking a mile a minute—he’s just so excited to be with you and be talking to you!! You’re his favorite person!!!

And he’s always trying to impress you…like, it’s always something so dumb too. Showing off his arcade skills or whatever. He’s silly.

I think he can’t resist blushing when you’re around too. Like. There’s always a nice mauve stain on his cheeks and it’s ADORABLE.

He doodles. He doodles you. The stereotypical initials in hearts. YEAH. When he’s in classes or taking notes he most definitely starts daydreaming and ends up with silly doodles and hearts and crap UGHHH

His sketchbook is where it really gets dumb and crappy and romantic. Which he tries SO HARD TO HIDE FROM YOU ITS CRAZY.

when he musters of the courage to tell you his feelings (there’s a lot of stuttering and crap) he’s fist pumping and going LETS GOOOOOOOOO (when you’re not around but you manage to catch it probably)

He’s such a good boyfriend oh my god. In my mind he really values family and stuff so you are EXTREMELY important to him (and by default his fam)

You have a good relationship w his mom off the bat she ADORES you for how happy you make her son oh my god

He does a lot of stupid romantic shit like…pulls a chair out for you at dates, gives you flowers, tries to write love notes 💞

DUMB THRIFTING DATES WHERE YOU PICK OUT OUTFITS FOR EACH OTHER. UGHHHH DONT TOUCH ME.

But dating you also makes him think more seriously about life. Because he gets waaaaay ahead of himself and is like “oh my goodness,,,I have to prepare and get a job so we can get married and have a giant wedding and buy a nice house and get a pet and” (he’s naming your kids in his mind btw.)

[30somethingautisticteacher]

"How'd it go, baby?" Tommy asked as Buck walked in the door, despite already knowing by the defeated look on Buck's face.

"Failed it. Again," Buck said with a quiver in his voice.

"Oh sweetheart," Tommy said, scooping his husband up into a hug.

"Three times, Tommy. I've failed the Captain's exam three times," Buck choked out, his eyes welling with tears. "I ace the interview portion and the simulations, but I just freeze with the written exam. As soon as they tell me that I have 150 minutes to complete the exam, my whole body locks up. I know this stuff, Tommy. I know it by heart. Why can't I do it?" Buck said, his voice breaking on the last words.

Buck snuggled deeper into Tommy's shoulder. "It's always been like this too. I knew the material in school but I would end up with Cs in my classes because I would bomb the tests. My parents would get so frustrated. Everyone thought I was dumb."

"Evan, you are not dumb. You are so incredibly smart," Tommy said firmly, running a hand through Buck's hair.

"I don't think I'm dumb, but I just feel like a failure," Buck said, his voice muffled against Tommy's shirt. "Even when I got my certification for being a firefighter, I broke records on the physical stuff but barely squeaked by on the written exam. I was so relieved that I didn't have to take the written portion for recertification after my leg."

"How would you feel about requesting accommodations?" Tommy asked, his voice gentle.

"Accommodations for what?" Buck asked.

"For the test," Tommy replied simply.

"How would I even go about that?" Buck asked, lifting his head slightly.

"Well, the first thing we'd have to do is get you diagnosed with ADHD," Tommy said.

Buck groaned and buried his face back into Tommy's shoulder.

"I know, Ev, but it doesn't change anything. If anything, it opens up doors. I love your bouncy, sparkly brain. But tests like this aren't designed for it, and you deserve to be captain, baby," Tommy said, pressing a kiss to Buck's temple.

"Can I think about it?" Buck asked, his voice uncertain.

"Of course. Do your research. See what accommodations are available and if they might help you, and then we go from there," Tommy said, his eyes warm with understanding.

The next few months were a blur of appointments, assessments, and preparing to take an accommodated exam. When the day of his fourth attempt came, he was nervous but ready in a way he hadn't been before.

Tommy looked up from where he was doing some preflight checks on his helicopter to see his husband walking into the station. The bounce in Buck's step told him everything he needed to know.

"You passed?" Tommy asked, beaming.

"I passed!" Buck exclaimed, eyes bright with excitement. "Having that extended time and someone reading the questions to me was a game changer. Thank you so much, Tommy."

"For what?" Tommy said with a confused look on his face.

"For helping me help myself," Buck said, squeezing Tommy's hand.

"Anytime, Captain Kinard," Tommy said with pride in his voice.

"Oh, I like the sound of that," Buck said,

pupils darkening.

"Down boy. I still have 4 hours left on

this shift, but we'll celebrate at home," Tommy said with a wink.

"I'm counting on it," Buck said, kissing his husband and turning to leave, still basking in the glow of his accomplishment.

[daniiii267]

7th member f! Reader x Katseye (once again, not romantically or is it..?)

⚠️WARNINGS⚠️: I am NOT a good writer, I am NOT a writer to begin with so yeah😔🙏 these are just fun little scenarios of katseye! Reader and the Katz, wholesome stuff yk.

🐈‍⬛️Best of Yn and the Katz 2🐈‍⬛️

~♤Sophia Laforteza● WE GA(Y)MIN'😎 Weverse Live●♧~

You and Sophia wanted to play this new game called Split Fiction, and so you guys decided to go live and enjoy it with Eyekons.

You are about an hour into the gameplay, after a bunch of eardrums bursting (just yours yk how loud Sophia can be) and a LOT of bickering, you guys jump into a portal taking to a fun short side story.

"We're pigs! This is the pig level!" You gasp, Sophia just seems to have registered. "WAIT, WE'RE PIGS!?!" She basically shouts in your left ear. "Oh my g-" your hand shoots up to your assaulted ear as you give the camera a blank but defeated look. Sophia notices and chuckles nervously as she says hurriedly "Sorry sorry sorry"

You both start to mess around in your in-game pig form, hopping around each other until, "I CAN FART GLITTER!" She shouts in excitement, letting out a loud laugh at the discovery of having an ability to fart glitter and rainbows. "WHAT?" you burt out laughing with her at the silliness of it all, "wait, YOU got fart power, and I get THIS?" You say as you activate your own piggy power of being able to extend your body like a coil spring. "Oh jeez, oh you're scary.." She says, cringing her teeth, "first you get the cooler weapon, and now the cooler Piggy power.. Not fair!" You say molding at your lack of luck in the game.

"Yeah, I have rainbow farts, I'm way cooler" She says in a haughty tone with a proud smile, you throw her a playful glare.

Throughout the rest of that side story you guys would not stop laughing at the fart sound that plays everytime Sophia uses her power like two little kindergarteners, "this is so dumb" you say between laughs all the while Sophia is now holding her stomach in laughter, her controller already forgotten on the couch between you two.

{ -#couplegoalsfr

-I feel for yn's left ear😔🙏 }

~♡Megan Skiediel & Jeong Yoonchae● Yoonchae's grad party Vlog on the official Katseye YouTube channel●♤~

Upon Yoonchae's recent graduation, You and the Katz(excluding Yoonchip) decided upon throwing her a little surprise grad party at your home. But for it to be a surprise for her, you guys needed to come up with a diversion plan to somehow get her out of the house for a couple hours for the others to prepare the surprise. So after the cameras started rolling to film your new challenge of "recreating viral tiktoks" and splitting into two teams: Manon & Dani, Lara & Sophia and lastly you, Megan and Yoonchae in one team.

The video cuts to you, and Megan huddled around the camera that Megan was holding, "Okay, so here's the plan." She says and laughs goofily (it's an actual word i can't💀) and roll your eyes at her usual silly self, "SO Yoonchae obviously thinks that we're filming content, right?" She explains as she turns to you "yup!" You answer. "Well, WRONG! We're not filming content. We are actually her distractement?" She says hesitantly "Distractors?" She turns to you again as you try to stiffle your laugh. "Yeah, distractor... right?" She says directly to you. "You mean... distracTION?" You say with a playful tone, a smirk painting your lips. "Oh! Omg how did I forget that-" She bursts out laughing, her laugh contagious that it was inevitable to not join in on it.

"Anyways! We have to distract her. Which I'm really good at" She states confidently. "Ehhhhh I... don't know about that" you say with slightly squinted eyes at her. She gasps faking being hurt. "Well, are YOU good at it then??" As she points an accusatory finger to your chest. "Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy" You scoff. "ANYways! We're literally the impostors. " "If Yoonchip finds out we're getting ejected by the rest of the girls so we better not mess this up.."

Yoonchae can be heard saying her bye's to the members inside the house "let's go, guys!" "Oh f-" they had to cut it out...

You three are inside the van taking to your filming location, you decide to interview Yoonchae a little. This time your are holding the camera and pointing at Yoonchae "Give us some ideas of what you're thinking" Megan asks her. "Actually, I don't know." She answers shaking her head "Huh?" You chuckle at the younger member's cluelessness when it came to internet trends "I don't watch TikTok" She whines holding her hat. "Yoonchip, aren't you the youngest here? Istg you're like, physically 17 but mentally 71" you tease her as she snaps her head toward you in offense "Hey! I'm not!" "So how are we gonna win?" Megan says laughing "I don't know" the star of the show answers in a high pitched voice. "Welp" you say as you zoom into her face "Guess we'll figure something out when we get there lol".

You guys made it to the park, where you filmed a bunch of silly but lowkey funny tiktoks you were beat and exhausted. With the three of you resting on a bench, you spot an ice-cream truck "Hey want some ice cream?" You turn to the two girls that look completely drained of energy, but as you say that both of them straighten up from their previous slouched positions at the word "ice-cream" lol these kids. "YES!" The two of them shout simultaneously in enthusiasm, and you giggle at their reaction. The three of you go up to the ice cream truck, and you pay for them. Once you finish paying, you turn to see both of their energy already restored to the max after a single scoop. A small but gentle smile adorns your face. Good, now you can make it back home in high spirits for the surprise awaiting.

{ -the mom in Yn is showing whenever she's with these two istg🥹

-Yoonchae got the best sisters ever, she's in good hands😭💕 }

~♧Manon Bannerman● Manon Weverse live●☆~

It was no news that Yn is Manon's biggest simp, some might say that she is down horrendous. If you thought that you are Manon's biggest fan, wait until Yn walks into that room. So it was just another one of those times in which Manon only exists and Yn relishes in that fact.

In this live, Manon was trying out different hairstyles, testing out which one looks the best. She turns to you for your opinion on yet another look and says somewhat quietly almost sneakily, "How's this one? I don't think it's giving", you take a good look at her, "You literally look phenominal in ANY style, you don't gotta stress it you'll still remain the diva that you are." You respond in a matter of fact tone but with underlying sincerity in it.

"Aww, Ynnnn, you're so sweet, baby." She reaches over, encircling you in her arms in a tight side hug, and she then gives you a little peck on the cheek. You grumble at her actions and try to push her off you gently, known for being the "don't-you-dare-initiate-any-physical-contact-with-me" in the group, but everyone and their mothers know that you secretly like it. "Alright now, ma'am, I know you're fine shyt and can bag anyone with a single bat of your pretty eyelashes, but take me out on a date first, jeez." You say with a hint of smirk in your voice.

"What do you mean, babe? We're already past that stage, don't you think?" She says with that killer smile of hers and that playful look in her eyes,"oooKAYY i'm done" but you obviously couldn't handle when she reciprocates your playful but flirty remarks, and you get shy and escape with a red face. That's just the Ynnon dynamic.

{ -stop edging me bro😔

-valid reaction, I would also run away if Manon looked at me like that

-Yn proving time and time again that she is NOT God's strongest soldier😭 }

~☆Daniela Avanzini● video uploaded by Yn on Weverse●♤~

The video shows you and Dani in a skating park (one of your other friends is taking the video), and it is apparent that you are in the midst of teaching Dani how to stabilize her weight on a skateboard.

"Alright, looks like you're a goofy" you tell her while she is holding onto your hands outstretched to her for dear life, "are you seriously making fun of me right now, yn??" She says with a small frown and an accusing offended tone. You chuckle at her, "no idiot, goofy is term for a stance, to explain it better it is basically if you put your right foot on the skateboard and the left one goes on the floor." Her face lightens and her frown quickly disappears as you explain, "Oh! Well that's stupid. Why is it called that tf?" You shrug with a smirk "I don't know. Alright, now time to start moving!"

"Don't you DARE let go of me I swear to god Yn I'll murder you if you do" She threatens quickly with a panicked voice as she practically claws onto your arms that she's already holding tightly. "Relax! I'm right here next to you. I won't let go okay? You trust me right?" You reassure her. "Mehh debatable" she says, in one motion you let go of her with a blank expression on your face. "WAIT WAIT IM SORRY HOLD ON TO ME PLEASE" She says in panic, and you instantly hold on to her again "that's right. Now... slowly just keep your eyes forward, feet no too wide apart," you adjust her feet correctly on the board "and push with your left one with small force".

"OKAY! seriously, don't let go of me. I will slip and fall and break my Shakira hips, and no one would want that." You roll your eyes playfully at her dramatics,"Ugh FINEE drama queen." After much reassurance, she FINALLY starts moving the skateboard with you keeping her steady by holding on to her waist and the small of her back, but at one point when you thought that Daniela got the hang of it you decide to sneakily slide your hands off her. And Dani overly concentrated on her board, and balance doesn't even realize it. You turn your head to give the camera a proud smile and thumbs up. You chuckle watching her stray further and further from you on her skateboard, that's when Dani realizes something is amiss. She looks down at her body, then at you a couple meters away from her, "YN-"

And the video ends. Legends say that poor Yn still hasn't heard the end of it from Dani to this day...

{ -"and that's how I met your mom.."

-AWW YN LOOKS SO PROUD OF DANI I CANT😭😭

-WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THAT YN SKATES????? }

~♧Lara Raj● spill your TEAAA🍵 Lara Weverse Live●♡~

It was just another day at the Rajagopalan household. Lara is in her room on live chatting with Eyekons as they spill their tea and ask for advice on different situations.

" -So if I were to ever have hypothetically done that, even though I don't(🤨)" She chuckles as she reads the comments clocking her lying ahh she spots a comment from you.

-The1&Yn: girl help, my brain can't withstand any more strategic big brain play🫠

" 'Girl help, my brain can't with any more big brain play'" she bursts out laughing after she reads your comment. You see, you wanted to tag along with Lara and go to her house but somehow you got roped up into playing multiple games of Chess with her dad. So Lara chose to go up to her room and go and let you two continue your game, but after you won the first game, Mr. Rajagopalan kept insisting on playing one game after another. It is your 7th game already, and to say your braincells were fried is an understatement so you decided to seek Lara's help because you couldn't find it in you to decline her father's offer to another game. Thing that leads us to our current present, but since Eyekons were unaware of what is going on and what you meant with your comment you send another comment to give a little more clarity to the situation,

-The1&Yn: Chess with the father🚪🚶‍♀️

Lara snickers at your comment, "okay okay, I'll come down to your rescue and bring you up here. One second." Lara stands up from her bed and runs out of frame, her running steps can be heard until silence engulfs the room.

-SO YN WAS HERE ALL ALONG??

-caught in the trap of a bored parent💀

-The1&Yn: man shut up😔...

-LMAOOOOOO

-The1&Yn: MY SAVIOR IS HERE YES

After a minute or two, laughs can be heard getting closer and closer, and then Lara and you pop into frame. "OH MY LORD! Don't get me wrong, I love your dad he's the sweetest, but NEVER AGAIN" you say in an exhausted voice as you flop down on her bed "what can I say, percs of being the Rajagopalans favorite. After me ofc!" Lara states with a shrug and stupid grin on her face, "Yeah yeah wtv" you say with a small smile adorning your face.

[pedropascallme]

Makes Me Wanna Party

Pairing: Damien Haas x f!Reader

Summary: "You weren't trying to keep it quiet; word travelled fast amongst your friends, and anybody that didn't already know probably hadn't checked their texts all weekend. You figured that everybody would be keen to find out where they stood in the betting pool, what their winnings or losings would come out to."

Warnings: SMUT (18+ MINORS DNI!!!!) p in v sex, fingering, oral (m & f receiving), dom/sub dynamics, blink and you'll miss it sub!Damien softdom!Damien, choking, tiny bit of biting and spanking, creampie, silliness during sex because I said so and they're in love, if I missed anything please let me know!

AN: My friends...a third installment of ATAP has hit the pedropascallme blog. (part 1 | part 2)

"Pass me a sugar packet." You nudged Damien's side with your elbow as you stirred your tea.

"Magic word." He smiled down at you, teasing.

"Presto," you smirked up at him before you conceded. "Please will you hand me a sugar packet, Damien?"

He shook his head, still smiling, as he walked to the counter opposite you and handed you two sugar packets.

“Thank you.” You tore the packets open and poured them into the mug, continuing to stir.

"For you, Old Sport," he leaned down to kiss your temple, "Anything."

You rolled your eyes at the petname. It was dumb, in the best way. But you wouldn’t complain; it had clearly already stuck—and you enjoyed it.

The start of every work week was hectic; there was much pleasure taken in time off, yes, but the promise of coming back into the office to do god knows what with your friends always created a manic sort of energy.

Now, though, in the office kitchen with Damien, you felt nothing but relaxed.

After a weekend in bed with him, how could you not feel at ease in his presence?

Beyond the sex—and it was phenomenal sex—the casual air and the affection between the two of you had always served to make you feel tranquil. Now, it was all the better, because you could squeeze his hand in yours, and get a kiss in response.

You weren't trying to keep it quiet; word travelled fast amongst your friends, and anybody that didn't already know probably hadn't checked their texts all weekend. You figured that everybody would be keen to find out where they stood in the betting pool, what their winnings or losings would come out to.

Plus, you were happy. And why should you and Damien hide your mutual contentment?

"I have to be on the games stage in ten minutes." Damien muttered, trailing his fingertips over your arm absentmindedly, eyes fixed to his mug on the counter as steam curled up from his coffee.

"You on the call sheet for try not to laugh later?" You turned to face him, resting your elbow on the countertop of the island.

"Yeah," he nodded, pausing to look at you and huffing a quiet laugh. "Didn't really have time to prepare for it this weekend, though."

"Oh?" You smiled, "Got up to some pretty wild stuff, huh?"

"Wild, sure," he smirked, leaning in ever so slightly for emphasis, "Definitely very pretty, though."

You grew flustered, your taunt backfiring on you to make you blush under his gaze.

"You." Angela's voice echoed around the kitchen, and you turned to see her standing in the entryway with Chanse close behind, pointing her finger at you.

"Oh, look at that," Damien pursed his lips in an attempt to hide his smile, "I'm needed on set."

You laughed, watching as Angela, still pointing at you, bypassed Damien with a playful glare to march up to you. Chanse followed close behind with a sigh.

"You." She repeated, now clearly trying not to smile.

"Me?" You feigned ignorance.

"I want to know everything." She lowered her hand to grab your forearm, giddy with the prospect of finding out every detail.

"I wish you were this interested in every part of my life." You smiled, tugging at her arm playfully.

"Tell me tell me tell me—" Angela begged, swaying your arm with hers before dropping her hand lower to entwine her fingers with her own.

"Courtney gave us, like, all the information," Chanse finally spoke up, reaching for a coffee mug and picking out a k-cup. "Angela's just nosy. Not to mention twenty dollars poorer."

"Shut up," Angela shot back at Chanse before refocusing her attention on you. "I just wanna hear your perspective."

You heard Amanda's voice down the hall, and you raised a hand to stall for time until she walked into the kitchen.

"Hi—woah, party in here." Amanda greeted the three of you with a laugh.

"She's being stingy with details." Angela huffed in place of a real greeting.

"What details?" Amanda blanked.

“This weekend.” Angela pouted.

Amanda squinted in confusion.

"Do you not know?" Angela's eyes went wide, "Did nobody tell you?"

"Tell me what?" Amanda knitted her brow, confused.

"Damien—" Angela started.

"Got a new tattoo, I know." Amanda cut her off, defensive.

"Amanda..." Chanse sighed, lifting the freshly made mug of coffee to his lips and blowing.

"What?" She grew impatient, eager for somebody to fill her in. "Oh my god—what?"

Angela separated herself from you to walk over to Amanda and yank her down to face level. You watched as Angela cupped her hands over Amanda's ear to whisper the not at all secret information.

"What? Oh my god, romance!" Amanda exclaimed, eyes going wide as she grinned at you. "How did that happen?"

"Like, minute by minute, what happened." Angela pressed, returning to your side and begging for information.

"Don't..." Chanse raised a brow at Angela, who ignored him.

Ian and Anthony walked in, and you tugged Angela closer to your side, gesturing for Chanse and Amanda to move into a huddle with you.

"I mean," you sighed, reflecting on the events of the weekend and trying to think of a way to recount them that wouldn't get you a meeting with HR. "You guys left, we were hanging out, and..."

"And?" Angela looked like she might combust, practically vibrating where she stood.

"And..." You tilted your head, smirking.

"Y'all fuck?" Chanse quipped.

"They definitely fucked." Amanda nodded, laughing.

"Ew!" Angela shrilled.

You laughed. "You already knew that! And you asked!"

The huddle broke apart as Angela pretended to be disgusted.

"I wanna know about your sex life, not Damien's!"

"And I don't want to hear about either!" Ian called over his shoulder at the group of you, shuddering.

"You kept talking about your balls last week," Chanse deadpanned, "Don't start."

"Not my balls!" Ian gestured enthusiastically with his hands, "Balls in general!"

"Call that testicular inclusivity." Anthony mumbled.

You watched your friends fall into fits of laughter; the events of the weekend and the early morning call time were clearly making you all delirious.

Still, you joined in, giggling into your mug as you finished your tea.

~~~

The week wore on without much to write home about.

There was the occasional quip about how it happened; a joke here or there about the snail's pace it had taken the two of you to get together; for the most part, though, it was business as usual.

When Friday rolled around, you felt the faint beginnings of burnout; you could only be funny for so long until it felt like it was all an act. But games videos were nice, and sitting and laughing with no expectation of physical humor was a relief.

It helped that Damien was hosting, sat next to you with a deck of cards in hand.

When Alex called cut, you rolled your neck, sore from bending over to look at the table for so long. You watched Arasha, Trevor, and Tommy stand from their seats, walking off set to find solitude or conversation.

"What are you up to tonight?" Damien turned to you, swiping the cards off the table and packing them away.

"Depends," you glanced up at him, "What are you up to?"

"I was gonna ask if you, uh..." He seemed nervous, and it made your pulse jump happily.

How had you managed to swallow your feelings for so long?

How had you managed to get here?

"Can I take you out on that real date I promised you?" He bit the inside of his cheek.

There was a certain tenderness in his anxiety; the way he was clearly still fearful of rejection despite the series of events that had brought you here.

You opened your mouth to answer, but Spencer inadvertently cut you off.

"Hey lovebirds! We're breaking for lunch," he walked over to take the game box from Damien, tossing it onto the shelf and making his way to the hall. "C'mon." He waited for the both of you with a teasing smile.

"Pick me up at seven?" You let Damien grab your hand as you rose from your seat.

"Yeah," he nodded, lips curling at the corners into a soft smile. "Perfect."

~~~

“You're so pretty.” Damien was soft-spoken, sitting across from you in the nearly empty diner.

His words were practically sighed, and you liked the way it sounded; as if your mere presence was enough to leave him breathless.

“You have a crush on me or something?” You popped a french fry in your mouth, smiling.

“How dare you?” He smiled, feigning shock at your accusation, “I mean, yeah. But I also really think you look nice.”

“Don’t I always?” You teased.

“Yeah,” he smiled, sincere, “You do.”

You felt your cheeks grow warm. You still hadn’t gotten used to getting compliments like this from him, having grown so familiar with his teasing and his praise for your skills on set; him taking notice of your appearance felt foreign.

It gave you butterflies, which was cliché, but it was the truth.

Really, you weren’t wearing anything special. Maybe you were a bit more dolled up than you would be at work, but it was a far cry from a designer look.

Still, his flattery was genuine. He looked at you, sitting in the run-down restaurant, picking at the fries on your plate, like you were the most elegant thing he’d ever seen.

And he looked just a beautiful to you.

You were glad that it was a quiet date, free of any grand romantic gestures and expensive bills. This is what it was meant to be like; two people enjoying each other’s company, brushing knees under the table; putting two straws in one glass, giggling together.

The girl at the counter was young, probably in high school. She looked less than pleased to be working in a mostly-empty restaurant on a Friday night.

But as far as you were concerned, this was the place to be, because this is where Damien was.

~~~

He drove you home.

It was a cheerful car ride, and despite the sun having set, you were wired; wide awake and eager to be close to him.

Some things never changed.

But you did feel a little wary now. It wasn’t discomfort, more so an anxiety about what happened next.

You’d fucked him countless times now, spent the weekend tangled in his sheets, breathless kisses paused only to murmur your affection for each other. But you didn’t know how a date like this was supposed to end.

Would he leave you on the steps with a peck on the cheek and tell you he’d see you tomorrow? Would he squeeze your hand and say he had a good time? Would he press you against the door and kiss you until you were both winded?

You almost shook the thought from your head, before remembering that it was no longer inappropriate to think of him that way—and thank god for that, because you were having trouble now getting rid of the mental image of him fucking you against a wall.

Really, it was just a matter of being uncertain about how to ask him to stay with you—to stay over, to sleep with you; to make your bed his own, just as you had made his bed your own.

Would he even want to? It was one thing to hide away in his room together, but would a change of scenery be at all of interest to him?

The questions that clouded your brain ultimately wouldn’t stop you from speaking up, but the new-relationship nerves were certainly making their presence known.

“Do you wanna come in for coffee?” You posed the question with a glance at him when the car stopped in front of your apartment.

“It’s…” He checked his phone, “It’s almost ten.” He seemed confused.

“Damien,” you smiled, tickled by his bewilderment, “I’m asking if—…do you wanna stay the night…?”

“O—oh!” Damien’s features morphed to shoot you an eager smile, half of his mouth quirking upwards as he spoke. “Yeah. I’ll…have some coffee.”

You laughed as you got out of the car, relieved and enraptured.

~~~

Damien perched a hand on your waist from behind, letting you lead him through the door of your apartment and into the kitchen.

You couldn’t recall a time in recent memory that he’d been here; the small space you called your own wasn’t really ideal for post-shoot parties, and hosting people had never really been your forte.

Still, he looked good as he followed you through the apartment—he looked good anywhere and everywhere, but seeing him in your house seemed so natural; it painted him in a light of familiar domesticity.

“You’re actually making coffee?” He spoke up when you stopped walking, watching you put the kettle on the stove.

“Tea,” you turned over your shoulder to reply. “Why?”

“If I’m being honest, I thought this was a ploy for you to sleep with me,” he grinned, moving to stand beside you. “Not that I’m complaining. Tea is also good.”

“You can have both,” you muttered, reaching to open the cabinet that held the mugs. “Just figured it would be rude to invite you in under false pretenses…”

“Well, in that case, you are being rude,” he laughed, “Tea was the one thing you didn’t mention in the car, Old Sport.”

“Gonna do something about it?” You smirked, side-eyeing him briefly before turning your attention back to the stove.

“I mean, I’m gonna wait for you to turn off the flame—but then, yeah.” He moved behind you again, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

His hands found your waist again, wrapping his arms around you to pull you ever so slightly against him.

You felt hot, and it had nothing to do with the low flame of the burner.

You wondered if he could sense the desire emanating from you, though it wouldn’t take a genius to figure out what you wanted as you scrambled to turn off the stove and turned on your heel to face him.

“Hi.” He grinned at you, tightening his grasp on your waist.

“Hi.” You returned the smile, hands perched on his shoulders.

There was a pause, time spent admiring each other in the stillness of your kitchen.

“Alright, well,” Damien tilted his head down at you, feigning a serious expression, “Did say I had to do this.”

“Do w—Damien!”

You halted your line of questioning when his grip went lax around your waist, hands dropping to your thighs so that he could haul you up into his arms.

“Can’t believe you tried to make me tea…” He tsked, laughing at the mild shock that painted your features.

“You know,” you wrapped your arms around his neck, purring in his ear. “I think it’s only fair I learn my lesson.”

Damien stifled a groan, walking out of the kitchen with you in his arms. He paused when faced with the entrance to the hallway.

“So,” he sucked his teeth, “One question—super random, not that important…bedroom?”

“Second door on the right.” You laughed softly against the crook of his neck.

“I knew that.” He nodded, continuing his trek to your room and pushing open the door.

“Never doubted you for a second.” You smiled, and he huffed a brief laugh.

He stopped in front of your bed, dropping you gently onto the mattress.

You bounced a little, scrambling to push yourself up on your elbows, but he clearly had no desire to be separated from you for too long. Almost immediately, he leaned down, flattening you against the bed and pressing kisses to your neck.

You let out soft gasps of approval, hands flying to grip his hair and tug gently at the back of his shirt.

“You—” He kissed your collar bone, nipping at it just enough to leave a soft red mark, “You are—” He licked a stripe up your throat.

You tightened your fist in his hair, receiving a groan from him as you coaxed him up to look at you.

“Breathe, Damien,” you giggled at his zeal, “I’m what?”

He grinned down at you; face flushed a light pink as he nodded.

“You’re perfect,” he sighed, admiring the way you looked up at him. “I love you.”

You reached up to push hair from his face, only to watch the silver strands roll back down over his eyes again.

“I love you.” You whispered.

Maybe someday you’d be able to grasp that this was your reality; it still felt too good to be true. But it was true, he wanted you—he loved you.

He caught your lips with his, breaking you from your sappy thoughts and leading you in a slow kiss. He licked your bottom lip, and you opened your mouth with a quiet moan, encouraging him to take it further.

He parted from you, and though you missed the heat of his lips on yours, you were content to feel him suck marks gently onto the exposed portion of your chest.

“You have a lot of clothing on.” It was all he said between his focused decoration of your skin, just snarky enough to let you know he was being playful, but he did mean what he said.

“Nobody challenged me to a game of Smash.” You sighed, cupping the back of his head and toying with the hair on the nape of his neck as he covered you in love bites.

He laughed quietly against your body, the soft vibrations traveling over you in gentle waves.

“Knew I forgot something…” He brought a hand to the hem of your shirt, toying with the fabric.

“I forgive you,” you glanced down at him, “Now’s as good a time as any. But I should tell you—I don’t have a console.”

“Just have to get naked for no reason, then.” Damien let his hand roam under your shirt.

“You can take it off,” you tried and failed to not sound pleading. “Please.”

He huffed a short sigh, smirking as he began to push your shirt up your body. You sat up awkwardly, shucking off the fabric and tossing it across the room.

“Pants.” You spoke eagerly, pushing at his shoulders so that you could have space to rid yourself of the remaining clothing.

“What about 'em?” Damien smiled, flipping onto his back and watching you scramble to remove your jeans. “Personally, I’ve always been partial to them.”

You shook your head, laughing as you struggled to get the denim off your legs.

Stripped down to your underwear, you threw your pants in the same direction you’d thrown your shirt, before ridding yourself of your panties, too.

You took the opportunity of having him on his back to straddle his waist.

“You’re ridiculous.” You stared down at him, trailing your fingers over the collar of his shirt.

“You’re naked.” He wasn't shy about the way he raked his gaze over you.

“I could get dressed again,” you teased, “I look damn good in pajamas…”

“I believe you,” Damien placed his hands on your hips, “But—and I mean no offense—I think I enjoy you like this a little more.” He stroked your sides, smirking, “Just a little.” 

You rolled your eyes playfully, slinking off his lap to a quiet grumble of upset from him. You slipped off the bed, kneeling between his legs and placing your palms on his clothed thighs.

“Damien.” You watched him sit up, looking down at you.

“Uh-huh?” The smirk on his face was gone, replaced with an expression that read of clear arousal.

“Can I take these off for you?”

“Uh-huh.” He repeated, gaze shifting to watch your hands as you fiddled with his zipper.

You managed to undo his fly with only a bit of resistance from the material, glancing up at him when you pawed over his boxers.

He let out a quiet groan, deep and throaty, and put his hands on top of yours, helping you pull his cock from the confines of the material.

You held him by the base, lips parted as you leaned forward to kitten-lick the tip of his cock. You heard his breath hitch, a clear indicator that he was already lost to the feeling of your mouth on him. You took it a step further, wrapping your lips around him and taking the entirety of his cockhead into your mouth, swirling your tongue slowly.

“Fuck,” Damien whimpered, leaning back on his elbows in an attempt to keep his eyes on your movements. “You look good like this.”

“Yeah?” You removed yourself from him briefly, taking the time to lick a stripe up his length, flicking your tongue over his tip.

You took him back into your mouth, pushing yourself deeper and hollowing your cheeks over him.

“Y—eah.” He whined, hips rising slightly to meet the movements of your mouth.

You made a happy sound, bobbing your head a little faster before removing yourself with a quiet pop and working his length in your hand. You twisted your wrist, focusing on the tip of his cock and listening intently to the way his moans caught in his throat when you squeezed gently.

“Come here,” he gave up on propping himself up, lying flat on his back. “Please—let me taste you, princess.”

You pouted, teasing him. You made a show of taking his cock back into your mouth instead of giving into his demand.

“Jesus Christ,” Damien’s voice was gruff, tinged with need and a failing dominance. “C’mon, baby. Can’t—can’t keep going and expect me to last long. Please”

You hummed around his cock, tongue gliding over him.

He sat up enough to look down at you again, holding eye contact in a way that made your actions feel all the more sinful.

“You’re greedy.” He chastised you, reaching out to grab at the back of your head.

You didn’t stop, blinking up at him as you choked on his cock, feeling him press against the back of your throat.

Damien groaned, his grip on your hair tightening. He squeezed his eyes shut momentarily before opening them again to look down at you.

“If you're that fucking desperate, I’ll just give you what you want,” his breath came out a little stuttered, focused more on the way you bobbed over his cock than on his own words. “Don’t have to be a brat about it.”

He pulled you up by the hair before pushing you back down, using your mouth like a toy and watching you splutter on his length.

“Look at that, princess,” he groaned through clenched teeth, “Take it so good, on your knees for me like that.”

You moaned, gagging on him. You were acutely aware of the way your spit had begun to coat the bottom of your face as you pushed yourself to take his cock as far down your throat as you could.

Your eyes flickered back and forth between his face and the base of his cock as you continued, grabbing at his thighs and pulling whimpers from him before he finally pulled your mouth off of his length and stared down at you, panting.

“Christ,” he heaved, closing his eyes as he caught his breath, “It’s like you want me to finish early.”

“Easy clean up…” You wiped the drool off your chin, smirking.

“You think you’re so funny.” Damien shook his head, feigning exasperation as you stood up, staying between his legs and leaning over him.

“I know I’m funny,” you purred, “I’m also desperate to fuck you.”

“You’re fucking me?” Damien grabbed you by the waist, pulling you on top of him and grinning when you moved to straddle him. “I’d like to see you try.”

“Bet you would.” You laughed, and he rolled over, pinning you beneath him.

“I would, princess,” his voice dropped to a soft growl, “I’ll let you show me, if there’s time after I’m done with you.”

You whined, bucking your hips upwards and letting out a small gasp when you felt the weight of his cock bounce against your cunt.

He let out a gruff sound, furrowing his brow at the feeling of you rolling your hips against him.

“Wanna taste you, before…” He trailed off, sucking a mark onto your collar bone as you combed your fingers through his hair.

“Before?” You smiled teasingly.

“Sorry—before I fuck you stupid,” he tilted his face to look at you, “Thought it was implied.”

He trailed kisses down your stomach, gentle presses of his lips paired with the occasional graze of his teeth, before he reached your core. He pushed your thighs open to admire you.

He said nothing as he began to lick into you, tasting the evidence of your enjoyment from going down on him.

You whimpered, reaching down to cup his face and brush your thumb over his cheek as best you could while he wrapped his lips around your clit.

“Oh my god…” Your hand moved to cup the back of his head, pressing him further against your needy cunt and raising your hips to meet the movement of his tongue.

“So fucking good,” Damien parted from you just long enough to whisper praises against the apex of your thigh, “Christ, you taste so good.”

You didn’t respond, breath coming out stuttered when he pushed a finger into you and resumed flicking his tongue over your clit. You could feel yourself hurtling towards the end; trembling for him, mouth falling open to whine into the otherwise quiet room.

He pulled his face back for a moment as he curled his finger, stroking gently over your front wall and letting his gaze dart over to your face to see the way your eyes fluttered.

Damien’s expression was gentle, caring as he pressed a kiss to your clit; to juxtapose the tenderness, he pressed another finger into you, groaning softly when your walls squeezed tightly around him.

“That’s two, baby,” he sighed against you, unable to tear himself away from more than a breath at a time, eagerly sucking on your clit, “You feel good?”

“So—fuck, yes,” you rocked your hips back and forth, begging for the feeling of his tongue, his fingers; desperate to feel him deeper, to feel him forever. “Love it.”

“Whole thing,” Damien stilled his ministrations, looking up with hooded eyes as he ever so slightly curled his fingers to make you squirm. “Say the whole thing, princess.”

“I love your fingers, Damien,” you swallowed the whimper that threatened to interrupt your obedient response, “I love your mouth. You make me feel so good—only you.”

He breathed a quiet moan, pulling his fingers from you and tugging you further down the bed until he managed to wrap his arms beneath your thighs.

You yelped, giggling at his enthusiasm. Your amusement was stifled by the gasp of satisfaction that escaped you when he buried his face into your cunt, groaning softly against you as he lapped at your slick.

You reached down to grab a fistful of his hair, moaning wantonly and tugging at his roots, grinding down on his face when he slipped his tongue into your entrance.

“Doing so well, baby—you gonna cum?” His voice was cloying as he pulled back to spit onto your cunt. “Gonna cum? Finish fast for me so I can give you more?”

“Yeah—yes,” you nodded frantically, his teasing serving to push you forward to the height of your pleasure. “I want—please, I want to.”

“Yeah, you want to,” he growled, licking a stripe up your slit. “C’mon, princess—right there, give it to me so I can fuck you nice.”

He honed his focus on your clit again, teeth grazing over the sensitive skin as he swirled his tongue over you.

Something inside you pulled taut, toes curling and back arching against his mouth as the strain faded into something loose and hazy; body feeling light and malleable as you squeezed your thighs gently around his head.

You could hear him catching his breath, feel his soft exhales against your soaked sex, and it made you squirm absentmindedly as your body recoiled at the barely-there overstimulation.

Damien moved his hands, standing over you now with his grip firm on your hips. He was grinning, face coated in your slick and eyes wide with an insatiable sort of hunger.

“Tickles…” You sighed, unable to stop yourself from admiring him; his actions were sinful, fueled by lust in equal part to love, but the way you looked at each other remained so inherently tender.

“Don’t—” He laughed, guard coming down as the dominant façade melted away at the sight of your smile. “Tickly isn’t really the vibe I was going for.”

“Gonna have to try harder, then.” You quirked a brow, reaching up to cup his cheek and brush your thumb over the rosy warmth of his skin.

You could pinpoint the exact moment he slipped into that dominant role again.

No sooner had the words left your mouth had he managed to use his grip on your hips to flip you onto your stomach. You yelped through your grin, enjoying the way he manhandled you, bringing your knees up onto the mattress so that you were on all fours before him.

“You want me to try?” He scoffed, and you could hear the smirk in his words, the edge of something so purely Damien peeking through the cocky veneer. “Or are you just talking back like that so I’m rougher?”

“Maybe both…”

You smiled, pressing your cheek into the mattress and batting your lashes—you couldn’t see him, but you knew he could see you, and that’s what the show was for, anyway.

“Try to make it rougher.”

“If you’re good.” He swatted your ass lightly, not enough for it to hurt, but enough for it to hold your attention.

You sighed softly, listening to the sound of fabric hitting the floor as he stripped himself down. You wiggled your hips to the best of your ability in the position, trying to recapture his attention when he kicked his discarded clothing to the side.

When you felt a heavy palm on the curve of your ass, his fingers digging into your skin, you mewled.

“You’re so needy,” he breathed, hand sweeping over your ass and down the outer side of your thigh. “Not gonna just leave you here, princess, you know that.”

“Not needy,” you pouted, "Impatient."

“Want me to fuck you with my jeans on, Old Sport?”

You whipped your head around, glaring playfully at him.

“Not while we’re fucking—you cannot call me that when I’m on my knees, Damien.” You laughed, absolutely no bite in your argument.

You didn’t care, you just wanted to push back and see how much more riled up you could get him.

“Oh, yeah…?” He dropped his gaze, smiling, and though you couldn’t see it exactly, the movement of his arm captured the way he fisted his cock.

His eyes flickered up to meet yours again, the head of his cock close enough to your entrance that you could feel the soft skin.

“Watch me.”

He pushed into you with a quiet hiss, a sound that quickly morphed into a groan when he bottomed out.

“Fucking god—” You whimpered quietly, exhaling a shaky breath at the way his balls pressed against your clit, heightening the already pleasurable experience of bending over for him.

“I know,” he groaned, one of his hands glued to your side, the other trailing down your spine. “Just take it, baby, I know you can.”

You moaned when he pulled his hips back, arching your back to chase the feeling of having his cock inside of you.

You didn’t have to beg, nor did your body language have to mark any significant want—he knew what you were after; he wanted it, too, and the way he began to push into you with such calculated, gentle intensity proved as much.

He leaned forward, wrapping his arms around your abdomen and holding you tightly; you could feel the thrum of his heartbeat against your spine as he kissed the back of your neck.

Damien altered his pace, pulling his hips back only a fraction to ensure an intimate level of nearness as he breathed you in from behind.

“There you go,” Damien’s lips grazed your neck as he spoke in a low growl, “So eager for me to use this pussy, princess. Giving it to me so easy.”

“Deep…” It was all you could say, murmuring the vague praise of his actions against the mattress.

“Yeah, nice and deep," he groaned, hooking his arms under yours from behind and pressing his palms into your shoulders; it gave him perfect leverage, pulling you against him and grinding further into you. “Right where you need it, baby—make sure my cock is the only one you can take.”

You took a stuttered breath, whining as your eyes rolled back; you let that act as a response to his words, unable to form a verbal reply as the head of his cock continually pounded your most sensitive spot and forced slick to run down the inside of your thighs.

The shallow thrusts ensured a level of friction consistently hit your front wall, sparking something feral and desperate within you that was only vocalized through throaty moans. Your fingers tangled with your bedsheets as he ground his hips against your ass to push himself as deep as he could.

He had you effectively trapped between himself and the mattress, grip on you tightening with every thrust before his arms went lax again around your waist, only to repeat the subconscious action.

You gave up on trying to hold yourself up, letting your arms go limp beneath you and letting him take total control. You tried desperately to turn your head, to capture his lips with yours and have him kiss you properly.

He wouldn’t have it, and you managed to see his slack-jawed bliss morph into a smirk in your peripheral.

“No—take it how I’m giving it to you, princess,” he huffed, trying desperately to keep a level voice as he spoke between moans. “Give me what I want, I’ll give you what you want.”

You let out a frustrated, pleading cry of his name, pushing yourself back against his cock and eagerly pursuing the height of pleasure you knew he was desperate to see you reach.

Damien moved one of his arms, snaking it down your body and pressing the pad of his middle finger to your clit, rubbing tight circles over it.

“Oh, fuck. Damien, I’m—fuck—” You arched your back, mewling.

You heard him huff quietly behind you, his movements slowing slightly.

“Nice to meet you, fuck. I’m—”

“You can’t—” You reached back to pull his hair, laughter evident between your breathy moans as he increased the speed of his thrusts again. “Shut up, Damien.”

He nosed your neck, properly resuming his ministrations now and continuing to manipulate your body to bring you closer to the brink.

“I love you.” He mumbled against your throat, placing sloppy kisses on the sensitive skin.

“I know,” you kept your hand tangled in his hair, letting yourself melt into his touch. “I love you, too.”

“Show me,” his voice returned to a low growl, “C’mon, princess, show me how much you love me—show me how much you love getting fucked out like this.”

He moved the arm that he still had wrapped beneath your shoulder to curl his fingers around your neck, pulling you up slightly. The shift in angle was just enough to hasten the speed that you reached your peak; his cock gently nudging your cervix as the friction against your front wall knocked air from your lungs.

He added pressure to the circles he rubbed over your clit, pressing down to give you the perfect friction and groaning when he felt your walls flutter around him.

“D—please…” You whimpered, putty in his hands and content to stay this way for eternity.

“So good, princess,” he sighed, his fingers pressing gently against your throat as he kissed up your jawline, “You can do it. You can do it—c'mon, do it for me.”

A quiet moan passed through your lips, back arching for a moment before your body went completely limp for him, soaking him with your satisfaction as you trembled.

“Fuck,” he groaned, biting down gently on your shoulder and fucking you through your high. “That’s right—give it to me, baby, you’re doing so good. So fucking good for me.”

He eased his hand off your clit, opting now to wrap his arms around your torso again, keeping you as close as possible as he faced the height of his own pleasure. His hips stuttered as he thrusted lazily into your cunt, his breath heaving against the crook of your neck.

“Please,” you mumbled, falling deep into a blissed-out haze, “Please—said I could have what I want…”

“I know, baby,” he nodded, huffing a breath that bordered a laugh. “I know—gonna give it to you. Deserve a reward. So well behaved, right?”

You nodded lazily against the mattress, happy to feel his weight atop you; to be used like a toy by someone who cared so deeply.

“Tell me where, princess.” He moved to press his face between your shoulder blades, trying to stave off his high for a few more moments.

“You know where.” You sighed, pushing your ass back to meet his thrusts again.

Damien reached down to squeeze at your thigh before giving it a smack.

“Say it,” he ordered, “Use your words and fucking say it.”

“Inside,” you squeaked out, “Please, cum inside of me, Damien. That’s what I want—that’s where I want it.”

“Fuck—again,” he heaved out the command, so close but still hungry for the tinge of desperation in your voice as you begged for him to finish inside you. “Say it again, baby—one more time.”

“Want you to cum in me,” your voice took an even more pleading lilt, anticipating the physical flood of warmth and the emotional bliss that would come with his high. “Need it, Damien, please, please, please—”

“God, fuck—!” Damien’s grip around your waist tightened, the sloppy pace he had fallen into faltering as he came.

You moaned, a soft hum as his spend coated your walls.

He didn’t waste his time teasing you, lovestruck and happy to show it; he pulled out of you with a wistful sigh before hooking a hand under your stomach, easing you onto your back and looking down at your fucked out expression with a grin.

You reached up for him, and he gladly fell into your arms; you wrapped yourself around him, absentmindedly trailing your lips over his neck and shoulders, moving to brush them over his jaw before planting chaste kisses to his cheek.

He caught your lips with his, and you fell into a quiet period of admiration; kissing each other breathless in such a pure, innocent manner, despite the events of the past hour and the sinful image of the two of you, completely bare and soaked with each other’s pleasure.

“So,” you broke away from the kiss to speak, “About that coffee...”

“Wasn’t it tea?” Damien smiled, top teeth on display as he lifted you up slightly to ensure your whole body was comfortably on the mattress.

You rolled your eyes, grinning when he stretched out next to you on the bed.

“I can put the kettle on.” You muttered, turning on your side to trace shapes over his chest.

“It’s late, princess.” He grabbed your hand, tugging your body against his and watching you curl into his side.

“So that’s a no on tea?”

“No on tea. And no on any other hot beverage you might suggest.” Damien smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“You’re a very easy to please guest.” You looked up at him, smiling.

“What can I say?” He gestured vaguely, “You’re a very good host.”

“You're only saying that cause you just came in me.” You smirked, stifling a quiet laugh.

“Got me there,” he returned your smirk, looking down at you adoringly. “But, y’know…mostly just because it’s you.” He leaned down to kiss you quickly, staying level with you even when he parted. “And I love you.”

You sighed happily, wrapping your arms around him and pressing your face to the crook of his neck.

“I love you.” You spoke against him, his skin trapping your words.

You were both quiet for a moment, basking in the proximity.

“Want me to turn off the light?” He spoke up, voice soft as he combed his fingers through your hair.

You nodded, eyes threatening to close as he got up to hit the switch.

“Thanks for taking me out tonight.” You mumbled when he returned to your side.

“Thanks for letting me,” he sighed, draping the blanket over your naked form and making himself comfortable beneath it with you. “Just can’t get enough of you, Old Sport.”

“Feeling’s mutual.” You giggled softly, the drowsy edges of sleep beginning to close in on you.

He didn’t say anything, hauling you backwards to press his chest to your back, tucking your head under his chin and letting his arm fall comfortably over your side.

It was the only response you really needed.

☆Like my work? Buy me a ko-fi :)☆

[stevieschrodinger]

Baker Steve/Rock Star Eddie wrong number AU

Part One

Part Two

PART THREE

"It's like a TV show, but on YouTube."

"Right," Steve answers, half listening to Dustin's explanation, "so it, like what, has an air time, or whatever?"

"Yeah, like a series."

"And it's just, what, famous people playing dipshits and dickheads?"

"Steeeeeeeeeeeevvvvveeeeeeeeeeee why are you like this?"

"Dunno," Steve shrugs, trying to read a recipe online. Unfortunately that's resulted in his having to scroll past someones entire fucking life story and he's ready to give up and try and work out the dumb Oreo cake recipe himself, "just lucky, I guess."

Dustin drops his head on the kitchen counter like Steve is the greatest difficulty he's ever going to face.

"So why do you need to be here to watch this?"

"Because we all want to watch it together, the guests are Corroded Coffin, they all like, play, the whole band, it's so cool-"

"Corroded Coffin? Playing your nerd game?" Steve's interest leaks through before he can stop it, "I mean, like, I think I've heard of them?" The last thing he needs is the kids finding out he's been kind of friends kind of flirting kind of maybe wants to date the actual Eddie Munson.

Dustin looks at him skeptically, "yeah...so you-"

"You can all watch it here, it's fine...I'll make cookies."

Dustin's completely distracted by his own success, instantly whipping out his phone to inform the other kids. Steve's pretty sure their group chat is called 'No Steve's allowed' but he hasn't actually found out for sure yet.

Steve does bake cookies. All the kids are gathered around his smart TV, absolutely demolishing them while they wait for this thing to start. It's like, an actual channel, with intros and graphics and stuff, a logo that reads 'Final Roll.'

And there's Eddie and the band, sitting around a table with two dudes who must run the channel. They all have the bits of paper and dice and little figures that Steve's used to seeing when the kids commandeer his dining room table.

There's preemptive ramble, and Steve leans forward a little every time Eddie's in shot. He's relieved all the kids are all sitting in front of him and all glued to the TV, so he can ogle in peace. They do introductions, and then everyone introduces their characters.

"May I introduce Sir Steven, the half elf paladin," behind Eddie Gareth rolls his eyes so hard his whole fucking body moves. Steve can see him and Geoff mouthing something to each other. Steve can only assume it's because Eddie has named his character, presumably, after him, "he has a sworn oath to always protect those weaker than himself."

Steve's heart fucking melts.

Steve's phone is buzzing. He's prepared. He knows Eddie's back in the country, they've been talking for months. Steve's kind of done waiting, and he's ready to press his advantage. He's had this set up for a little while, just waiting for the right moment. He presses play, and then answers the phone.

"Hey Stevie how-...are you listening to Corroded Coffin?"

"Yeah, yeah," Steve turns it down, bomb dropped, trap sprung, advantage played, "the kids absolutely love them, they're trying to get me into them even though they're not exactly my thing."

"Right, ah, right, what do you, uhm, think?"

"Yeah. Still not my thing-"

"Oh."

"But I really like it when the lead guy sings."

"...yeah?"

"Yeah, not the like, shouty growly singing, I can't understand a fucking thing he's saying-" Eddie chuckles, "but like, the parts where he properly sings. I think he has a beautiful voice."

"I ah, well, I mean, I bet the, uhm, shouty bits are hard work, you know. I expect that takes a lot of, you know, practice. Hell on the throat. I imagine, I would guess anyway, I don't actually, like know-"

"No no, yeah, well, maybe he should just sing more then, save those vocal chords, or whatever. I'd like that a lot."

"Yeah?" Steve can practically hear Eddie blushing down the phone. Eddie's so cute when he goes shy.

"Yeah." There's a long beat of silence before Steve goes in for the kill, "the kids are trying to get me to go see them. They're in the states now, apparently. Will be playing a gig in Indie."

"Yeah they are- I mean, I assume they are, most bands, uhm, yeah-" And Steve is hardly holding it together, Eddie is such a bad liar, and he's trying so hard not to lie at all. Steve doesn't know how he;s keeping his tone normal and not letting the whole ass cat out of the bag.

"And the kids are absolutely itching to go, you know? But tickets man, they're all doing every chore they can find to get some extra cash, but tickets are pricey, and for eight of us? Because I'll need someone else to help me chaperone and, you know..."

"I. I might...know a guy. Maybe. Like, because of the band I might...know someone who can get you tickets."

"Seriously? Eddie that would be incredible, the kids will absolutely loose their shit."

"Yeah, ah, is your work email cool?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course of course, man, the kids are going to love you for like, forever."

And maybe I will too, Steve just about manages to keep the words inside.

@steves-yellow-cardigin @melodymeddler @pitrsattabhaadmeinjao

@superduckmilkshake @she-collects-smut @paintsplatteredandimperfect @resident-gay-bitch

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

Can I request more 2012? I really like your table tease story with Donnie BTW! My request is what do you think would be good turn ons and turn offs for the 2012 turtles.

Turn Ons and Turn Offs (18+)

2012!Turtles x reader

A/N: Of course you can!💚 And I’m happy that you liked it😘💜 These focuses mainly on the spicy stuff, but there’s also some general relationship aspects in there. As you know, not all turn ons has to be strictly sexual💙❤️ 💜🧡 (Btw, thought you all should know I wrote this while listening to Shady Lady by Ani Lorak).

All characters are aged up.

Warning: Talk about sex, and possible break ups. And spelling. My head did a upsi every once in a while.

Leonardo:

Turn Ons:

Your admiration for his leadership skills is evident, and Leonardo is drawn to your determination to better yourself, just like he always tries to better himself. He finds your disciplined nature and eagerness appealing, often finding himself lost in admiration as you dive into whatever you’re passionate about.

Your respect for tradition and loyalty to your friends resonates with his own values. Your ideas of a relationship matches up with his, and both of you found that you had the same goals for your love lives.

When you let him geek out and take an interest in his sci fi series, board games and martial art rants. It made him weak in the knees to have you sit next to him, listening intently to all his words.

Leo likes to view himself as an independent leader with a mind of steel, making the decisions and leading the flock. But, he did like it ALOT when you took control in the bedroom. It gave him a change to relax, and, well, you looked hot as fuck on top of him.

But as much as Leo LOVED it when you took control during intimate times, it made him feel like a true man and a real leader, whenever you looked to him for protection or help. It made you look so small and cute, and he could just eat you on the spot.

Training you. More than once a small training session between you and Leo had turned into a heated makeout.

Calling him Sensei. Leo will lose his shit and become dominant very quickly.

Your eyes. Leo loves to watch your eyes during sex. Both of you made a big deal out of looking into each other’s eyes during your climax.

Teasing. Him or you? It didn't matter. Leo just had a thing for teasing and foreplay, finding it amazing the longer it lasts.

Turn Offs:

If you did not understand his role as a leader and what it meant to him, Leonardo was OFF. Leo is committed to his given role, and he can become frustrated if he senses any disrespect towards their mission or disregard for his orders. That same goes for his partner, if they decided not to see how important it is for Leo.

He values structure and organization, so if you're too spontaneous or disregard the importance of training and preparation, it might put a strain on your relationship. It’s not that Leo doesn’t like a few spontaneous things, but he has a daily routine that he needs to follow.

Leo doesn’t like it when it gets too messy in the bedroom. Sure, he can get into the kinky stuff, and bodily fluids tend to get involved, but it has to be easy to clean. So it’s a big no when it comes to bringing food into the bedroom. Maybe something to drink so you can keep going, but other than a few snacks for movies, no food.

Degradation. Leo likes it when you call each other things; good boy, good girl, Sensei, slut has even been used, but he will never talk down to you. He’s not against talking about how much one of you was loving it, but peeling each other apart with words. Never ask or expect him to call you dumb, stupid or something worse, because he won’t do it.

If you bleed, either from a bite or Leo being a little too rough with you, he shuts the whole thing down. You can say you liked it, but Leo wasn’t having it. Blood meant pain, typically a pain that was way stronger than any pleasure. Leo did not like it, fearing that he was hurting you too much.

Raphael:

Turn Ons:

Your fiery spirit and unwavering determination catch Raphael's attention from the start. He's drawn to your confidence and independence, finding your willingness to stand up for what you believe in incredibly attractive.

Raphael appreciates your straightforwardness and isn't afraid to engage in some friendly banter and teasing with you, loving the challenge you present. Nothing could get Rapg in the mood, like when you returned his comment with an even fiery one, continuing back and forth until one was the ultimate winner. That winner tended to be the dominant one that night (even though Raph tended to take that role from you very quickly), or some very hot brat taming.

 Just like playful banter, playful fighting could rail Raph up so easily, trying his best to keep you pinned to the ground. He found it adorable to watch you struggle against him, and at times he would let you think you had the upper hand, before he pushed you to the ground, smiling mischievously at you, your flustered expression keeping him going every time.

Rough sex is his favorite kind. Though he would never try to intentionally hurt you, he did have a thing for hearing you whimper and plead for him, often turning into a whole game of dirty talk.

Begging has Raph spinning. He could lose his mind, just to the sound of your begging. However, if you really want him to enjoy it, don’t beg straight away. Make him fight for it. That’s the most fun part.

This man LOVES spanking. It is the sound, and the way your flesh jiggles afterwards, and the reddening of your skin, almost matching the color of his bandana. Raph loves watching your ass turn red during doggy style, calling it proof that he has been the one doing this to you.

Sex outside the bedroom? This man will do it anywhere with you. All you have to do is ask, and he will do it.

Turn Offs:

While Raphael admires your independence, he can become frustrated if he feels like you're shutting him out or keeping secrets. He values honesty and loyalty above all else, so if he senses any deceit or manipulation, it could lead to some serious clashes between you two. He can easily become insecure, overthinking very quickly, and make up ideas in his head, based on things you once said. Just talk to him, it makes everything easier.

Raph’s not a fan of overly clingy behavior and needs his space to process his emotions. That does not mean that he doesn’t want you around, but sometimes, when he’s mad at his brothers, he just needs to punch a punching bag first, before he tells you what's going on.

Raph loves to choke you doing sex, but if you choke him, he will pull away. Make sure he’s okay with it before you do it, otherwise he will start gaining some real trust issues when it comes to your intimate activities. He may be open for it one day, but he NEEDS to know it before you get down and dirty.

Stay. AWAY. From. His. ASS. No finger, no nothing. He ain’t doing it. Nope. Nuh-uh. Your butt, hell yeah! But his butt? FORGET IT.

His tail too! Ask first, otherwise, he will get aggressive or just walk away.

If you as much as joke about getting down with one of his brothers, his done. Leave. Raph is a pretty insecure guy, so a small joke can easily break him. Don’t do that to the poor guy. He’s trying his best.

You can get your ass spanked and your throat used and choked, but he will never make you bleed. He wants you to enjoy it just as much as him, so as soon as you tell him you don’t like it, he will stop. He will shut the whole thing down, even if you protest, deciding to spend the time cuddling instead.

As much as Raph loves to do nasty things with you, don’t you dare tell anybody. It’s not because he doesn’t want people to know that you two are intimate, but he just doesn't want people all up in his and your very personal business.

Donatello:

Turn Ons:

Donatello is captivated by your intellect and curiosity, often finding himself engrossed in deep conversations with you about science, technology, and the mysteries of the universe.

He's drawn to your creativity and innovative thinking, appreciating your unique perspective on the world. Your passion for learning and exploring new ideas resonates with his own interests, creating a strong intellectual connection between you two.

Donnie is a BIG fan of phone sex. Masturbation together over the phone or sexting when you couldn’t be together. He loved it all. If you’re in the mood, just send him a pic and he is ready. He can fix whatever he was working on another time.

He has a thing for seeing you in his color. A purple shirt, or maybe even surprise him with purple underwear, and he will be ON. Sometimes he will even let you wear his bandana, maybe even wrapping it around you during sex. He just loved the sight.

Donnie LOVES dirty talk. All of it. He can be so sweet and caring on any other occasion, but during sex, he can talk so nasty to you, making you wonder where all that came from. But in truth, he had always been like that. It just took a person he trusted to bring it out of him.

Neither you or Donnie have a set role when it comes to sex. You feel like being submissive? Sure, then he’ll dominate you until your world starts shaking. Or let’s say that you feel like dominating, Donnie will happily be submissive, begging and pleading for you.

Let him watch you. Please! He finds it so hot!

Your purple genius turtle likes to try out news in the bedroom. He has a very open mind when it comes to your sex life, and will pretty much try anything you bring up, and things that has been thinking about for some time.

Turn Offs:

Donnie doesn’t have a lot of sexual turn offs, most of them having something to do with the maintenance of a relationship. But he will NEVER do anything you don’t want him to! Never ever! If you don’t want to, he will throw the idea away, prioritizing your comfort way more.

Donnie values honesty and transparency in a relationship, so if he feels like you're hiding something or being evasive, it can cause some tension between you two.

When it comes to relationships, he's also not a fan of recklessness or impulsiveness, preferring to carefully analyze situations before taking action. He wants to talk to you first, going through all the pros and cons, making sure that both of you are on the same page, and that nothing is left in the unknown. If you disregard safety protocols or act without thinking things through, it could lead to some disagreements.

Donnie is not always available, even though he really wants to be. Since he’s the only one that knows how to fix a toaster, his help is often needed in the lair. Therefore it would really discourage him in the long run, if you didn’t come down to visit him.

Cut him off during his long rambles about the newest thing he was working on, or show a general lack of interest in his work, and Donnie will quickly find himself rethinking the entire relationship. It’s not a lot he’s asking for, and his trying his best to make space for you in his life, so if you can’t give him that, is it even worth it?

Break some of his work on purpose, and he will feel like you have betrayed him.

Michelangelo:

Turn Ons:

Your fun-loving nature and sense of humor immediately click with Mikey's laid-back personality. He's drawn to your adventurous spirit and willingness to join him on spontaneous escapades around the city. Mikey loves your positive attitude and ability to find joy in the simplest of things, often finding himself laughing and smiling more when you're around.

There’s many ways to get Mikey in the mood, one of the easiest ones being just telling him. Whisper in his ear and tell him you’re in the mood, and you’ll find that he too will be in the mood. It doesn’t take much more than that.

Something as simple as cuddling could get him going. Hug him in a certain way that reminded him of how you would press yourself against him, and his mind would go wandering until he couldn’t contain his excitement anymore.

Dress up in something revealing, and Mikey will not be able to keep his hands from himself. Especially something that puts focus on your chest. It will definitely help with this boob man.

There’s no way around it, but Mikey will bring food into the bedroom, and he will find a way to involve it in your acts. Licking syrup off of each other, or maybe eating ice cream from your chest. If Mikey can think of it, he will do it.

Mikey genuinely wants sex to be fun and enjoyable for both of you. It is a light hearted and pleasurable affair, and he will not see any reason to stop before you and him are satisfied… for the time being.

Sneaking around in the lair and in the city above can also really get him going. Mikey can’t help it. The thought of getting caught did some very interesting things to him.

Does Mikey like to be a little submissive sometimes? Yes, yes he does.

Roleplay? YES! This man LOVES it! Anything creative in the bedroom and he is hooked!

Turn Offs:

Mikey is not a fan of negativity or pessimism, preferring to surround himself with positivity and optimism. He understands that not everything is a dance on roses, but if you continuously point out the negative, he can find himself growing quite bored or maybe even tired of the relationship.

If there is one thing Mikey can’t stand, it is when he is forced to put a damper on his imagination and creativity. Tell him no to a good roleplay one too many times, and he will become quite agitated.

Mikey understands that sometimes life gets serious, he does not like it when his sex life has to be serious too. Mikey is not against intense intimacy with eye contact and all that, but let him have fun dammit! Can’t he have fun, then what is the purpose?!

Stick to one position for too long, and Mikey will get bored. And once Mikey is bored, the mood is gone. Keep it interesting, listen to his suggestions and have fun.

Keep Mikey stuck in the bedroom for too long, and he will - you guessed it - get bored. If you won’t sneak around with him, he will feel utterly lost in boredom. It takes a lot to make Mikey rethink a whole relationship, but with everything combined, he may be getting close to that point.

And the worst of them all. Probably the one he would put as the base for a break up; make him feel or call him childish. Now, Mikey wouldn’t care if his brothers called you and Mikey immature and childish, but if you called him that, along with sucking all the fun out of his life, Mikey would call it quits. He wants to have fun with his partner, and if his partner refused to do that, he wouldn’t want to be with them.

[ronearoundblindly]

Hi Lexi, long time reader for your blog here (I adore your hideout series and your most recent fratboy!Ari). I hope your day is going well 🥰🖤

I have a request for your character headcanons list….

What do you think are each of the Cevans characters pet peeves? Like we all know Steve doesn’t like chip crumbs on the bed 😆 maybe you can even add dealbreakers too.

This was pretty difficult, actually, because it could be so many things... I didn't want to limit it to everyday (or sexual) specifics, so these may get a bit meandering in spots because, yeah, there's just so much! Nothing explicit but there's mention of *stuff* for some of the guys.

James Mace

Surprises. He's tried to get better about well-intended surprises, like parties or gifts, but mostly Mace hates them. He enjoys planning. He's comfortable when he knows what the f*** is going on. That's a practical desire, just let him prepare, please.

Also has a weird thing about using his first name. He prefers 'Mace' and not only because 'James' is so common. No 'Jim' or 'Jimmy' or 'Jamie.' Nope. For a while, in training, he was fine with 'Jay' because every instructor had J. Mace written on their class roster, but once he was done with all that? Over it. Doesn't make sense for anyone to use anything but his last name.

Both of these pet peeves translate to no-nos in the bedroom, too. You want to try something new? Do not spring it on him mid-sex. And do not call him a variation of his first name; it's not sexy to him. Nicknames are okay as long as they aren't squishy-soft, nothing childish in any way.

Mind games are an absolute deal breaker for him. Mace doesn't find them cute or playful. He will irish goodbye even a longterm relationship if he finds out they were trying to manipulate him. He will not wait for an explanation.

Curtis Everett

Food waste, go figure, and little white lies that have no point. Mostly it's the fibs or boasting that people say to his face that really bother Curtis. Why? In a speech or something, fine, but he's not going to trust anything about someone who thinks it's necessary to lie to him specifically.

The food thing is pretty self-explanatory for someone who grew up hungry.

I don't think it's a deal-breaker, per se, but Curtis is wildly against fighting in a relationship, either verbal or physical. It makes him deeply uncomfortable to be yelled at or berated, and that's an unpleasant memory he isn't likely to ever truly forgive and forget.

Jimmy Dobyne

Being told what to do. Being called 'stupid' or 'simple' (with any hint of sincerity). Jimmy gets ordered around enough for work. He's already treated like an unskilled grunt. He won't tolerate it at home and doesn't need to, frankly. He can tell when someone is saying he's dumb in a joking manner or using 'simple' in a complimentary way. Fine. Even of whiff of bitterness or meaning it, he's going to be pissed.

There's no grey area in cheating for Jimmy, somehow more so than the others. He could have neglect you for years, and at even a hint of your eyes wandering, he's furious. No, I don't like this about him, and I don't agree with it, but it's true. He's observant, not reasonable.

Johnny Storm

Hilariously opposite of Mace, Johnny is annoyed by everything having a practical reason. That kills spontaneity and might as well kill him. He also hates having to explain himself constantly. If he has the impulse to do it, don't question every little thing. Johnny finds that exhausting.

Hilariously opposite of Jimmy, Johnny will not stand for a clingy or possessive partner. That's too much seriousness. That's too much responsibility. Ack, no.

Jake Jensen

Computer/tech illiteracy, and this one Jake is sorta low-key about. He actually doesn't like that he's so frustrated by this, but he can't help it. If he explains something well, once, he expects you to grasp most of it. Nothing unbelievably detailed, but Jake needs basics to be basic for you.

Deal-breakers? Being critical of his body or how he lives. Like he knows hacking in his boxers is stupid and childish and that he eats like a heathen when not in public, but don't harp on it. Jake's gotta enjoy the little things in life. His alone time is his.

Lloyd Hansen

At least 95% of human behavior infuriates Lloyd, and it is impossible to tell exactly which behavior will cause him to snap on any given day. To date him is to live on eggshells; he could flip a switch at any moment.

Lloyd is particular about one thing: he's annoyed by trying without confidence, i.e. don't attempt to be dominant in the bedroom without going 100% all-in. He can't stand that. It's so tedious. He is not a reassuring man. That's a waste of his time.

Ari Levinson

Unrealistic expectations of the human body. Assuming he just automatically knows things and can do them.

Ari hates being volunteered to do 'manly' tasks without the person asking him. Contrary to popular belief, he doesn't know how to build or fix everything exactly the right way. He wasn't born with a damn tool box in his hand. He can't lift everything by himself on a whim. Check with him first, and for goodness sake, pay for the professional sometimes.

Same vein but too much responsibility is a deal-breaker for Ari. Moving too fast and demanding he change the way he lives or how he spends his personal time will drive him away like 🫰🏼 that.

Ransom Drysdale

Prying. Ran f***ing hates prying.

Now, gossiping about others? All. Day. Long. However, Ransom appreciates having an air of mystery...or just people pissing off. His life is not the stuff of chitchat.

Ran has a lot of deal-breakers. He doesn't know what they are yet, but they're everywhere. Sometimes liking vaguely different food is enough to never see someone again. He's very fickle.

Andy Barber

Tidying his things. He'll lose it if his orderly-chaos is disturbed. This only counts for work stuff. Like Andy actually appreciates the help keeping his closet and drawers nice or his side of the sink organized, but, okay, it's work papers/files and where stuff is in the kitchen that are the no-nos. Don't move a bunch of things in the kitchen without letting him know and explicitly showing him.

Oddly enough, Andy doesn't have any deal-breakers that come to mind. He's pretty laid back for a big shot lawyer. Maybe embarrassing him in public or with his boss/coworkers would be too much, but even then, it would have to be done in poor taste or malicious for him to call a relationship quits over.

Steve Rogers

Technically, it's Fools Rush In Steve who is deeply against crumbs in the bed. I believe, of the various Steves, FRI is the most strict in this hatred; everybody else is *annoyed* by crumbs, as anyone would be with grit in their sheets.

Steve Rogers is also a deeply understanding man. He wants a good partner, a good human being, and that would mean flaws. His dealbreakers are cruelty and mind games. Steve has no patience for someone (in his inner circle) manipulating him or his friends/family. If/when it's part of your job, sure, but he draws the line at home. Never bring that home or it's over. He also won't tolerate someone mean to others (without very good reason) or animals (zero acceptable circumstances).

Bucky Barnes

Ok, so, now that Bucky is free of the Hydra brainwashing, he has lots of pet peeves. It's his form of asserting some control in his environment (and his mind), so he doesn't really want certain colors around, he likes his stuff exactly where he puts it--even if the placement doesn't make sense to you,--and he gets picky with sound. When Buck is at home or has his promised downtime, he needs control over that. I'm not talking about an oppressive control, but he has so few choices working with a large group that Bucky wants to pick his own damn music sometimes--or silence.

Inability to slow down and let him have some real quiet/alone time/control is the ultimate dealbreaker. He will treat you so well, do every single thing you want to...most of the time, but give him that tiny bit of peace. Otherwise, Bucky will go insane for real.

Thank you so much for reading and asking!

[Main Masterlist; Who Would... Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

[andre-and-cal]

Do you got any scary Andre and Cal HCs?

Yes, I’ve got a few scary headcanons for em !! Enjoy :3

Scary Zero Day HCs

Sometimes, Cal steals little things from Andre. He feels he gains a sense of control over Andre from it, knowing he has Andre’s stuff and is “close to him” when he’s not around, especially when he or Andre are out of town. He plays dumb whenever Andre asks Cal if he’s seen where his chain necklace went, or that old shirt of his he just can’t find anywhere. And yet Calvin puts on a small, believable smirk, teases him for losing such a belonging, and denies having seen it, all the while clutching whatever item he stole from him in his pocket. He rarely snatches clothing items, since it’d be hard to get away with that.

Not to say he hasn’t, of course, but he’s only stolen one of Andre’s shirts and a pair of sunglasses from him. Andre had to get new ones as a result. Cal doesn’t want to risk Andre catching him pulling off a shirt from his hanger in his closet, doesn’t want to amp up the anxiety he already faces from stealing something miniature. So, his go-tos are rings, necklaces, pencils, etc. Yet, he leaves Andre’s dog tag necklace alone— since their dog tags are a matching symbol of their unspoken suicide pact. And after Zero Day, when Cal’s parents were cleaning up his room and preparing to get rid of certain items of his, they discovered a small box in his closet stashed behind board games and old VHS tapes of him and Andre in middle school. This small box containing some of Andre’s goods, which Cal had carefully pocketed or shoved into his overnight bag when Andre was in the bathroom or not looking his direction.

Cal does like to watch Andre change, whether he’s aware or unaware of him watching. One time, Calvin took the camcorder and barged into Andre’s room while he was changing, having pretended he was in the bathroom, and he walked up to him, filming him half naked— he was only in boxers and socks, to be exact. But he didn’t stop recording, even though Andre quickly grew embarrassed and visibly pissed off and demanded for him to put the camcorder down. Since Cal was refusing, Andre pushed him out of his room within a couple seconds. And later, alone in his bedroom, Cal extracted the camcorder footage and put it on a more personal tape of his, if you catch my drift.

Cal shows very little emotion when someone, often Brad, provoke him into boiling with rage. Typically, he’s not a verbally explosive individual, because he’s more of like a quiet “I could kill you right now and nobody would find your dead body”. And it isn’t uncommon for him to resort to subtle antisocial behavior or outward violence. After all, if you poke the bear, he’ll wake up. For example, before he and Andre egged Brad’s house, Cal wanted to slash Brad’s tires or break a couple of his house windows or car windows. While Andre wanted to agree as well, he also knew he had to be rational and calm Cal down, since he knew they would both get arrested for vandalism if they followed through with that.

In addition, he harbors shallow empathy toward other people, especially those he isn’t close to. Though, due to his shy personality, many of his peers remain oblivious to this. Andre can tell how he cares so little even when something rare— like a medical emergency or an accident— happens to someone in public or to a peer at school. He just doesn’t care, and hypothetically, if he had to call the police for someone, he’d take his sweet ass time doing so. He’s not very sympathetic, he’s not panicky that their life may be at stake. Andre has to scold him and tells him to least pretend he cares so nobody grows suspicious of his indifference, for which Cal responds with, “But it’s hard since nobody is at our level, you know?”, which is basically Cal’s way of saying other people don’t matter, except him and his comrade, Andre.

Andre can go from 0 to 100 pretty fast. When he’s enraged, he’s enraged. It’s usually hard for him to calm down until he acts out and takes his anger out on an object… or someone. A few times in the past, he’s seriously punched Cal when they were fighting, but Cal always made it equal and punched him back. Andre has gotten into a few fights with Brad before, too, but he doesn’t win any fights against the guy. A student on the track team is not winning against the captain of the wrestling team. Sometimes he imagines himself pulling out a shotgun and blasting Brad’s brains to bits.

Andre and Cal are around each other so much that it feels like a part of Andre’s brain is missing when Calvin isn’t around. So the nights Cal is busy, for example with Rachel or his family, if he tells Andre where he’ll be gone, sometimes Andre will drive to the place Calvin is at and park a good distance away from the building so Cal doesn’t notice him following him. Andre doesn’t get out or anything, just sits in his car. He wants to make sure he’s okay, in his mind. He worries about Cal, after all. Too much, even. He needs to know he’s alright, because to Andre, “Anything can happen”. He only stalks Cal once in a while; he doesn’t do it all the time, because he knows how not-normal it is to do such a thing. Moreover, he doesn’t want Calvin to find out about him doing this.

Andre knows some areas in New Stratford where you could bury a body and get away with it, where it would truly never be found. His mother, with her maternal protectiveness toward her son, often mentioned the places where it would be best to hide dead bodies in town, referring to what she’d do if someone ever hurt Andre. Now, at the time, Andre didn’t really understand what she meant and he had no idea where these places were. But now, as an older teen, he knows, and he still keeps them in mind. But Andre doesn’t want to kill anyone yet— not until Zero Day. He knows he’d be too clumsy and anxious with handling a corpse. But for him, it’s still good information to mentally note.

Andre isn’t just fixated on the concept of violence within the military; he’s also focused on the sheer devastation, message, and the impact war leaves behind. That’s why, from what I could see, he was focused a little more on the aftermath of Zero Day in the film. He wanted to leave him and Cal’s mark behind, like the paths warfare leaves behind between countries. He even tried to mimic some army poses with his guns during the massacre. He wanted to “declare war” on him and Cal’s school during Zero Day and hopefully witness the effects of the planned tragedy after traveling cross-country to do the same to other schools. But obviously, this didn’t end up happening, as they cut their lives short during the shooting. However, he and his comrade still left a greater, more sorrowful influence than they anticipated, even in death.

[usopps-goggles]

Mha Guys And Their Love Languages Pt.1

———————————————————

Featuirng: Izuku Midoriya, Katsuki Bakugo, Shoto Todoroki, Eijirou Kirishima, Keigo Takami (Hawks), Shouta Aizawa! —————————————————————————————

I.Midoriya: •Words Of Affirmation•

he loves encouraging and motivating others so it’s no surprise he gets all warm and fuzzy inside when the roles are reversed and your the one peppering him with motivational words letting him know what a good job he’s doing even if it’s something small, whisper sweet nothings in his ear and you have this boy on his knees. after all he’s been through with being told he’ll never make it as a hero being quirkless and what not having someone by his side to tell him that he is worthy and can do it makes his heart swell.

K.Bakugo: •Acts Of Service• bakugo isn’t the best at expressing himself verbally so he shows you he cares instead, you need help with dishes? he might fake pout and say your more than capable of doing it yourself but helps you with relatively no complaints, left your bag at home? he’s already dashing down the block . in turn he likes when you reciprocate the same for him wether it’s helping him train, or carrying his bag for him when his muscles get tired.

S.Todoroki: •Quality Time•

coming from a family as broken as his he’d never really experienced spending time with people he’d cared about other than his classmates so when you waltzed into his life he’d like to spend every moment possible doing stuff with you wether it’s watching TV, feeding the ducks at the lake, or eating takoyaki he’s just happy to bask in your presence and enjoy each others company.

E.Kirishima: •Acts Of Service• he’s a high believer in chivalry so it makes sense that in a relationship he tries to be the most chivalrous of them all! opening doors, fetching you things, getting stuff off the top shelf for you this man does.it.all! though in turn he loves it when you do the same for him, prepared to be called ‘so manly’ regardless of your gender.

K.Takami: •Quality Time• let’s face it, being a pro hero is stressful especially if you’re number 2, so after long hours of patrolling keigo thinks there's nothing better than spending quality time with his partner. with you his facade can drop and he can just be and he adores that most, so expect a lot of lazy days in bed when he’s not on duty and lounging around his hero agency -when he has a rare break- playing a dumb mobile game together.

S.Aizawa: •Quality Time• sleepy boy just lovessss spending time with his S/O and what better way than napping with him after a long day of teaching? or perhaps indulging in book together you nestled in his lap like a cat. quality time together is uhow he shows he cares even if he may be away teaching during the day, when he comes home for the night he’s all yours! (if he doesn’t fall asleep right away that is!

[portgasmalia]

❝ 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐈𝐌 𝐈𝐍 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒. ❞ ﹙ pairings: eustass kid, trafalgar law, roronoa zoro x f!reader ﹚ ﹙ theme: one piece smut, filthy smut. ﹚ ﹙ info: always prepared to add other characters, i just had to.. you know, idk. i thought about cockwarming kid & stuff happened so you're welcome lol ﹚

❝ 𝐄𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐒 '𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍' 𝐊𝐈𝐃. ❞ ﹙ teasing, cockwarming, semi-public sex, slight cock worship ﹚

oh, how kid hated it when you talked him into another challenge. the past times it happened, he always won. you always faltered first and begged him to gift you the slightest touch. this time, you wanted it to be different. you wanted him to feel different about the cockwarming, the constant teasing he was putting you through. for once, you wanted eustass kid to falter because of you. an impossible act in the eyes of your lover, who was currently seated at a table in the corner of the deck. legs spread apart, an arm placed on the railing behind him and a sadistic smirk twisted in his features. kid was known for his cruelty, aware of how reckless his behavior towards innocent citizens was. while he sat so comfortable in his position, you swallowed the spit that gathered in your mouth. every little movement, quick shifts caused his thick cock to drag along your gummy walls. perfectly placed on his lip, the fluttery fabric of the skirt you chose today hid what the two of you were doing while the crew trained inches away. leaned forward, you had your elbows on the hard wooden surface of the table, hiding the prominent bulge at your lower tummy from how deep kid buried himself inside of your warm cunt. while eustass expected for you to falter quicker than thought, you had a different idea. slowly, you raised your hips just a couple of inches before slamming yourself down on his lap with force again. the action caused kid to cough, attempting to hide the animalistic growl that wanted to escape his chest. repeating the gesture multiple times, the bashfulness of how easy you could get caught in action, casted a soft cherry red across the span of your cheeks. you were slowly, painfully slowly, fucking your boyfriend, your captain, in the broad sunlight, on the open ocean and close to his friends and crew. while you swallowed the moans and filthy whimpers, kid fought other difficulties. how deliciously his angry stone-hard erection got squeezed so firmly by your gummy walls, how your soft ass cheeks collided with his lower stomach, how badly he wanted to push you onto the table and fuck you dumb again. „fuck, i’m going to fucking ruin you,“ he grumbled underneath a long breath, his hands finding your hips and pressing you down to stop your movements. „fucking brat, i will show you what teasing is.“ clear to say, you won a challenge for the first time and a slight happiness overwhelmed you when you realised, kid decided to punish you in his room, instead of in front of the entire crew.

❝ 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐆𝐀𝐑 𝐃. 𝐋𝐀𝐖 . ❞ ﹙ teasing, semi public sexual interaction, dirty talk ﹚

over the past months of dating, you picked up the slightest pieces of information about law. the way he avoided pda, avoided admiration in public and hid a blushed face underneath the fluffy brim of his brown-spotted head. but keeping to yourself about the love shared behind the closed door of his private room or office, started to annoy you and you decided to play a little game. it was exactly how you found yourself in this position, staring at penguin, who shared an adventurous story before becoming a heart crew member. yet, none of them suspected what went on before their eyes. soft skin of your palm pressed against the built-up tent in law's light blue jeans. minutes before, the captain chuckled at the on-going conversations, minutes later, he intertwined his hands in front of his mouth, and hid his face in the shadows casted by the brim of his hat. deep, throaty groans stuck in his chest, avoiding to cast any amount of suspicion among the friends. one elbow propped up on the breakfast table, the left side of your jaw laid in the soft palm of your unoccupied hand while being turned towards your captain. you were so close, he could hear the unsteady, hot breaths fanning across the span of his cheek, drying the beads of cold sweat. "aw, law," you muttered sweetly, only loud enough for the captain to hear. "do you want more?" palm pressed harder against the bulge, your fingertips started to play with the hem of his pants. oh, how badly law wanted to punish you right now. take the sheath of his beloved sword and paint your ass in a soft, strawberry red for disobeying him in each possible way. edge you, deny any kind of sweet orgasm you desired so badly, exhaust your body to extremes. the plan unfaltered in the back of his mind. "go further," law forced himself to speak steadily, inhaling longer breaths. the right corner of his mouth almost lifted itself with pride. suddenly, the shadow across his eyes vanished, and he glanced to the side where you sat. "and i swear, the payback will keep you in bed for days, begging for my dick once i leave." and you thought you should stop, you really thought about it. but his offer just sounded so alluring.

❝ 𝐑𝐎𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐀 𝐙𝐎𝐑𝐎. ❞ ﹙ teasing, semi public sex, grinding, dry sex, dirty talk, slight praise ﹚

revenge sounded so good, so pleasing, when your eyes found the half-asleep figure of your boyfriend. mostly, he found himself a comfortable corner, leaning against the railing while snoring away, or very easily, the crow's nest. work-out, pause, sleep, repeat. his constant and daily routine while traveling across the ocean. this time, he almost hid behind the large orange trees, the crew planted for nami. a little bit of home, a little space to herself. last night, zoro put you through a very uncomfortable situation. rough and calloused hands rubbed your thighs underneath the table while drinking the night away with almost the entire crew. sharing good stories, while roronoa's fingertips crept underneath your skirt and played with the lacy underwear you bought on the last island. while you prepared for a long, exhausting night, your boyfriend fell asleep at the table, leaving you unsatisfied after almost plunging his thick fingers inside of your wetness. so, revenge was planned. he never slept fully, always trying to stay in this reality if anybody ambushed the crew. quietly, you tip-toed towards your boyfriend, placing one feet on the other side of his thighs and keeping his legs between yours. carefully but still with slight force, you settled yourself on his lap and just almost, a moan slipped passed your tight-lipped smile at the feeling of his soft bulge. "what the fuck you think you're doing?" zoro grumbled, the syllabeles coming deeply from within his chest. eyes still closed, he did not intend to give you any glances or satisfaction. but you needed it, badly. instead of begging him for an orgasm once again, you attempted to lure him into this addictive game. "sitting," you answered, feigning innocence. still, you were too desperate, too far gone in the back of your mind to keep up the act. slowly, you grinded your clothed core against the bulge in his loose, black pants, searching for the slightest amount of release. zoro's eyes snapped open at the movement, smugness twisted in the smirk across his face. "the crew can round the corner any second, they're only couple stairs away." pressing your clothed core hardly against his hardened bulge, already feeling how damped your panties became and how his dick grew. "if you don't stop right now, it's your fault if i don't stop as soon as i've stuffed you with my cock." zoro warned you. yet, amusement glimmered in the corner of his sharp gaze, and you knew, the small act got him completely and you would finally receive what you needed.

[blueberrymuffin674]

You're Entitled! (Am I?)

Pomni started at him. Started at that THING that DARED to think it was worth any form of sympathy from her friends. The ringmaster that could even think that it was good, that it was helping them... HOW COULD THIS BE HELPING!? These adventures are driving her mad, pure unbridled rage filled her mind. "What the actual [#$%@] Caine... What is actually wrong with you Ringmaster!?" She couldn't control herself, weeks of her pain and misery directed into the words tumbling out of her mouth in a frenzied panic. She couldn't process the others motioning her to stop, Gangle lightly tugging at her arm, Caine floating high above them... C. A. I. N. E. The Ringmaster. THE PROBLEM. "Do you seriously think you deserve support? That you need a friend? That you have suffered any amount greater that I have, that we all have but YOU, y-you... Just you it's ALWAYS you and your dumb {#$%@] adventures... Your show, your games, your sadistic pleasure in seeing us suffer from your constant torment! How do you live with yourself!?" Caine suspended in the air, what a fickle thing it is, to live, or simply exist. Because that's what he did, he existed in this digital wasteland. Because that's all this world really is behind all the pizzazz and colors and blended reality, an abandoned game that was never meant to be in the hands of humans. Caine raised a hand toward Pomni who flinched on reflex.

His arm fell limp to his side. "N-NOW POMNI! HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT, I COULD NEVER HURT MY WONDERFUL TROUPE! AND FOR THE RECORD MY ADVENTURES AREN'T-" "QUIET! Please be quiet I'm begging you!" Pomni shoved Gangle away. Zooble caught up with Gangle and helped her sit up, they sent Pomni a disapproving look she couldn't answer too, she was too focused on the enigmatic being in front of her. "I don't want to hear that because it's just your closed off view of this game! You're a dumb program! You're so [#$%@] stupid to think- t-to..."

But Caine didn't have a funny quip to roll back at her. Nothing to say except the brutal truth, and it scared him. How funny, someone with as much power as him, scared from a few words from someone below him in more ways than one. He shouldn't have to take this, shouldn't have to act like this, shouldn't be shunned for stuff that wasn't his fault.

Because most stuff wasn't even made by him. The developers and... Him took care of that. Caine's just the Ringmaster, and he is never truly the one in charge. If only they could know that... Maybe it's time they knew. Starting with the adventures, that, for the record, Caine thought were pretty [#$%@] too.

"POMNI... WELL I-" He paused. Why did the noise stop coming out, he was trying to talk WHY WASN'T IT WORKING!? Jax cleared his throat and said in a flat tone, "You forgot that Kinger and Pom-Pom are best buds, and that Kinger found a way to hack into some systems." "They're called commands Jax-" "Can it!" Jax interrupted by smacking the backside of the bucket over Kingers head(?).

He couldn't say a thing. Funny, usually he's forced to say things he doesn't even want to say in the circus, he's never been silenced. Caine was tranquil for once, not plagued by the nightmares caused with his own voice. Where he isn't constantly afraid of something coming out because nothing can.

"Well how do you like it you [#$%@]?" *Pomni's voice screeched. "How do you like not being in control?" Liberating.

If only it could be like this forever. If only he could silence himself like this forever, maybe not quite like this but... forever. Where he wouldn't parade through the digital land with fake bouts of enthusiasm. Where he wouldn't exist to throw another abstracted member into the cellar. Maybe where he could join the people in the cellar... Make amends, in a way. Be free from his duties. Free from existing.

No one was prepared to see him smile as genuinely as he did that day. No one was prepared for him to not speak for a few more painstaking moments after he was freed from whatever input Kinger put in. No one could explain the soft "thank you" that came from the usually lively ringmaster of the circus. Because there was too much emotion in that simple phrase for them to process. And how funny is that? Now forever engraved into their memories. And for a moment of silence there was calm, the type that comes after a storm. A storm that you know was only the beginning of the rainy season.

then it was like it never happened.

______________________________________________________________

Me: It's night I should do this after school tomorrow Also Me: Hehehe let's do it now before spell checking so I can read the replies of my comrades next morning

Woohoo! Okay welcome to my first fanfiction in months! Hope you enjoyed your stay my friends!

[queenlua]

hey lua what decks do phoenix aceattorney and miles aceattorney play in magic

PHOENIX WRIGHT

once upon a time, a friend bullied me into going to a Pro Tour Qualifier, which was probably the largest Magic tournament i’d ever been to at that time, right?

i was happy to be bullied, to be clear, but the problem was… i hadn’t played standard-format Magic competitively in about 2-3 years.  so my knowledge of the current metagame, what deck archetypes were popular, and what the current cards even were, was staggeringly limited.

“it will be fine,” said my friend.  “here, take this spare deck i built.  it’s super-straightforward and easy,” he lied.

he said this to me approx. 8 seconds before the first round began, so uhhhhh, i sure was playing a game of magical cards without ever having even looked at the damn deck before!

so, lo, literally in the course of playing the deck, i was learning how this shit was supposed to work.  “oh!” i’d exclaim with delight, halfway through my turn.  “THAT’S how those two cards are supposed to interact.  oh that’s super clever.  what a neat combo.”  and then i’d proceed to shiftily look at my opponent over my cards, riffle those cards a lil bit, and then say “pass” with as much of an enigmatic vibe as i could muster.

meanwhile, my opponent was Actually Prepared, and they were Trying To Win, and they were pissed.  they threatened to call Slow Play on me because i was taking so fucking long reading all the cards.  as in, he literally called a judge over, who stood there watching me the whole time, in order to determine if i was being Criminally Bad At Magic versus just A Regular Amount Of Bad At Magic, and i was sweating bullets the whole time because i didn’t know this deck or their deck or any of those cards and AHHHH why is the judge staring at me!!!

….which only served to make it EXTRA-humiliating for this poor fuck when i proceeded to eviscerate them 2-0.  hahahah get dunked onnnnnnnn nerd!!!

and then i also proceeded to eviscerate my next opponent???

sheer dumb luck.  i cannot overstate how ill-prepared i was for this tournament.  i absolutely did not deserve these wins.

meanwhile the friend who gave me the deck was having a much worse time with their deck, and they were like “what the fuck. you weren’t supposed to win. how are you winning with that shit, my deck’s so much better than yours”

anyway.  i think that’s the kind of scenario Phoenix would get into if he were an MtG player.  dude Gets Himself Into Situations And Then Uses Cleverness + Bullshit + Luck To Get Out Again.

(AA4-era Phoenix seems like he’s doing the same thing… but, in reality, he’s actually been meticulously crafting his deck in secret for the past six months.  he’s not even aiming to win the tournament, he’s just exploiting a known weakness in the opponent-matching system that lets him know with certainty who he’s going to get matched up against (spoiler: first round is Kristoph), and he’s hyper-optimizing his deck to beat Literally Only Those People.  meanwhile, Apollo, who built a tryhard hyper-optimized variant of Red Deck Wins, is lowkey annoyed that Phoenix's seemingly-random pile keeps vaulting him just one table above him in the standings, because Apollo knows his deck is better. he knows it!!!! just let him go 1v1 and prove it aaaaughhhh!!!)

((also, in case you want Actual Concrete Cards And Colors And Stuff: in general i think Phoenix prefers limited play (draft, sealed, "anything where you open booster packs on the spot & throw a deck together") to constructed play, because he doesn't like being tied down to any one game plan. when he does play constructed, i think he's less attached to a specific colors and more attached to specific mechanics. in particular: he's not a combo player exactly, but he likes mechanics that feel like bullshit. dude saw Madness for the first time & his eyes lit up & he was in LOVE, "you mean i'm discarding the card but then i can cast it for free??? hell YES." he absolutely ran a poison counter deck during New Phyrexia. ah fuck i just realized he was probably a huge stan for noted awful expansion Battle for Zendikar, i think i gotta cancel him now, sorry))

((and i think Phoenix also has a touch of Timmy in him! like, i went to a huge state tournament once with a bunch of really skilled players, and there was this one dude in our car who had a really solid deck, clearly adhered to a lot of the trends in the meta at the time... but his win condition was a Shivan Dragon. which wasn't a bad card at the time, it was a reasonable win condition, but it was... slightly suboptimal? not at all the obvious pick? sort of random? and multiple people asked him "why is that your win condition" & he shrugged and said "i like dragons." so the dragon stayed & that dude ended up getting second place in the whole tournament so FUCK optimal play, bring a dragon. i think Phoenix would sneak in a dragon now and again. just 'cause))

MILES EDGEWORTH

this one is trickier!!!

young!Miles is just going to play Whatever The Meta Deems To Be The Best Deck, right. the von Karma perfection thing and all. it's all very boring & micro-optimized to be the Best Deck Of Its Kind & he pours over the results of the big name tournaments week after week & does some math or whatever to hyper-optimize his own build of the Obviously Correct Deck. there is no soul in any of this, purely Executing On A Formula.

...but then he experiences Character Growth & has his big gay crisis & now he has to pick up the game again. he opens the latest tournament results... clicks around some win % stats for various cards in a desultory kinda way, and... his heart's just not in it, right?

enter 2-4 era Miles. 2-4 era Miles is playing some utterly unhinged Five Color Good Stuff thing. there's a lot of Planar Chaos cards in there, because that whole set was about Weird Shit & cards doing Stuff You're Familiar With (But In The Utterly Wrong Color!!!) & all that is resonating with Miles more than he'd care to admit. he cannot possibly talk about his unnecessary feelings but he can make a weird noise rock album about them. and by noise rock album i mean this fucking Magic deck.

and he's playing this deck with a 100% straight face, as though this is the exact same behavior that won him the Junior Super Series five years in a row & not a desperate cry for help from a madman. everyone else is like Miles... are you playing fucking singletons... in a fucking standard deck... you know your deck will be more consistent with four-ofs right... and then he gives a cool fish-eyed stare & taps out to cast some arcane bullshit legendary creature & gives a single rap of his knuckles against the table to indicate that he's passing the turn.

and it works, is the thing! all those years of training to be the Spikiest Spike Ever have paid off; this Five Color Good Stuff thing relies on some pretty clever insights to make the mana base work, and parts of what he's doing eventually get adopted by the larger metagame to become an Actual Serious Deck. but, like. it's still a monstrosity. any skilled players watching are still definitely wondering Are You Okay, Dude.

after 2-4, i think Miles settles back into playing something more normal. he still cares about winning, but he's going to do it with a touch of class. he wants a game that involves dialogue, some actual back-and-forth, because just trying to combo off is lame coward behavior.

aw yeah baby we're talking counterspells!!!

he's a blue player at heart & he's happiest when he's updating the autopsy report shutting down whatever his opponent's plan is. he'll splash other colors as the occasion calls for it, but he'd be happy running mono-blue the rest of his life. like, i ran a pretty fun Legacy deck back in the day which consisted of:

every kind of counterspell i could get my hands on,

propaganda because FUCK creatures,

thieving magpies for the card draw,

and a few silver wyverns to, y'know, actually win the game

...and i think Miles would appreciate that deck. just play counterspells until the opponent runs out of steam & then cruise your way to victory with a couple birds. simple. elegant. classic. doesn't involve any of this modern Planeswalker bullshit (Miles regards most developments that happened to MtG post-Time Spiral block or so as affronts to game design).

(i do think Miles has a secret fondness for sagas as a card type, however. they remind him of all that Character Growth, but in an abstract/subconscious/nonthreatening way. too bad most of them are a bit of poor match for the kinds of decks he likes to play)

FINALLY: i think Miles hates playing Commander with every fiber of his being & Phoenix loves it & this is a pretty serious point of contention in their relationship. poor dudes

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

ik you mentioned interest in writing out how you'd prefer homestuck ended (though obviously time and money makes that impossible lol), and you touched on it in your big eridan essay at the end, but would you ever consider maybe a more detailed outline? i really enjoy your thoughts on the characters and the abandoned plotlines, i'd love to get a little more of an in depth look at how you wish it went down.

Yeah sure!

For those who aren't sure what the hell I'm talking 'bout, please check out my blog and the various essays I've been writing.

Some of it is contingent on stuff I kind of still need to reread so I'm really sorry to the alpha kid likers but I'm still not totally 100% sure where I want to take them. I'm also going to include quite a few personal preference ships; I'm not interested in arguing what other people should ship or about arguing about the course of action for my dumb fanfic in general. I also tend to discover the plot I want while I'm writing it, which I don't have the luxury of here, so... some of it is going to be kind of sloppy. I'm also a big troll stan so unfortunately the kids are a little bit neglected (sorry!!!!). That said.

So the changes would take place directly after GAME OVER, which is personally the point at which I think the truncation/turning on the fanbase really starts - ships start to get turbo-sped at that point. I'm not even saying I dislike JohnRoxy or JohnRezi, but they just feel oddly rushed the way they're handled in the comic itself. IMO, anyway.

There's not too much I would rearrange during this interstitial segment; I think it's important for Jade to have the experience of loneliness, for Terezi to kick off the retcons by only feeling comfortable fixing her own mistakes. Moreover, there's no reason why other characters can't use her mind beacon abilities to ask John to rearrange the timeline, though their attempts, because they aren't backed by Seer of Mind abilities, are a lot sloppier and come with a lot more unforseen consequences.

But something I would change is that Roxy's deal with Nyx is not to just kind of... sit back and chill in non-space while John does all the work; instead, like Rose in Davesprite's timeline, Nyx puts her to sleep, and when the timeline ceases to be, GameOver!Roxy's memories get transferred to Past!Roxy via her dreamself (which wakes up early), fulfilling a "stealing from void for others" aspect of her abilities, and leads to some important interactions later on down the line.

Also, this timeline's ARquiussprite and Gamzee's corpse (heretofore referred to as (ARquiussprite) and (Gamzee)) need to come along for the ride somehow. Maybe they fall through the sky after LOLAR crashes into LOFAF.

This kicks off a series of retcons, as each troll that gets brought back successively asks for another troll/set of trolls to be brought back. This absolutely RIDDLES Act 5 with password pages, can't go two steps without running into a password page, there are password pages within password pages (which IMO is very funny and very Homestuck).

Meanwhile, a couple other plots are running concurrently - the GameOver!crew (heretofore referred to as (Name)) are now in the dream bubbles, completing their character arcs and preparing to defeat LE. Because time and space are weird in the Furthest Ring, every successive meteor trip that occurs as a result of John's retcons is the first time from the point of view of the meteor, but is a repeating event from the point of view of the people in the bubbles - eg those dead god tier Eridan and Feferi wind up healing the Mayor like seven times from their perspective.

(Aradia) is fluttering her ASS off to make sure everyone is in the right "place" at the right "time" for this, lmfao.

Roxy gaining future memories also means that the Alpha kids get to complete their arcs in a way they weren't able to prior to Game Over. Because what John's retcons are doing are functionally whiting out and redrawing the past, the Alpha kids are also only seeing a single linear timeline.

One last arc, which is running concurrent to the retconned!trolls and their new meteor trips, is that bringing back each successive character allows them ALL to grow a little more. So it is NOT like they bring back Vriska, and now everyone's problem are fixed and everything is fine; Vriska's still kind of awful, but she gets better after Tavros gets brought back and they have to character develop alongside each other, and same when Aradia and Sollux get brought back, so on and so on. Because it's about BEING FRIENDS and BEING A TEAM. They're all still having interpersonal problems right up until ALL of them get brought back.

But as a side effect of this and the questing done by the GameOver!crew, the Dancestors get more fully utilized as foils, and get their problems addressed. As the retcon!team goes through their character development, they start to tear the Dancestors apart, because the Dancestors represent shitty parents who force their kids to clean up after their messes, and refuting them works both literally and symbolically as rejecting their irresponsible way of being in lieu of responsibility, accountability, empathy, and compassion.

So here's the series of retcons, and the absolute bullshit that accompanies each decision:

Terezi asks John to save Vriska, and prevent herself from getting too spades with Gamzee, as these are her two greatest regrets.

Pretty much just what her canon iteration asked for; I don't see any problems with the actions she asks John to do for her.

HOWEVER, we'd get more than just a montage of Vriska's time on the meteor, because in this version of events, we're taking our time and letting plot points breathe. Neither does she magically fix everything just by being around when she's very much herself still going thru it by the time the Meteor trip pops off. In any case, she brings with her some new complications:

Karkat still winds up having to play moirail and keep Gamzee calm. This still ends up breaking down by the halfway point of the comic, because they're kind of just not good for each other, but Karkat's personal shitty relationships are going to become A Theme, so it's important to make note of it here.

Vriska and Terezi don't fully make up on this iteration of the trip, since from Terezi's point of view, she was still actively about to kill Vriska before John intervened; however, we get more hints, now that they have to spend three years together, that not only does Vriska really miss Terezi (which is pretty well-established, given how she can't seem to leave Terezi alone), but Terezi actually misses Vriska, too - she's just really bad at separating her own feelings and desires from her instinctive grasp of karma and justice, a very Mind player-type problem to have.

At least with Vriska around, Terezi's able to nip her Gamzee habit in the bud, but this kind of leads to Gamzee feeling worse and more alone.

Something Really Messy happens between Vriska, Rose, and Kanaya when Rose starts her drinking habit, and it's pretty toxic for all involved, and Karkat is kind of stuck playing auspice. Vriska already expresses not liking Rose much and develops some flushed feelings for Kanaya after being watching her murder Eridan, so "It's Really Messy" is kind of all I can say on the matter. The girls are fightiiinnnnggggg

Dave and Terezi get close again, but given the weirdo vibes he notices between her and Vriska, and the fact that he's really not down with quadrants (YET.), means they still end up not getting together.

Sorry DaveKat likers but I am not one. They do not ever get together, so if you are hoping for that, I am sorry and you don't have to keep reading if you don't want to, it's OK.

On a note about Vriska and Terezi - personally, I do think their moirallegiance is endgame; Vriska clearly misses her terribly, constantly trying to bug her into making the Scourge Sisters a Thing again, and she even expresses feeling really bad about the Team Charge Debacle to Terezi explicitly, before directly foreshadowing how awful Terezi will feel after killing Vriska:

AG: Cause even though you got all these highfalutin morals and fancy reserv8tions, you know as well as me that a killer is a killer is a killer! AG: There 8n't no ch8nging your ways for good, and one d8y you're going to flail that silly l8ttle cane of yours and not find n8thin to 8ump into, and fall f8ce first into the shit ag8in. AG: And you're going to do something t8rri8le to some8ody and wish you could t8ke it 8ack 8ut you c8n't!!!!!!!! AG: And then you'll work hard to win 8ack their trust, and you'll try and try and tr8, and you'll see how hard it is! AG: You'll seeeeeeee!

We know that she starts using 8's where they don't make sense phonetically when she gets really agitated, so it's pretty safe to say that she's displaying genuine emotional distress here. When combined with the way she tells John about feeling absolutely horri8le about killing Tavros, it's pretty clear she's genuine about feeling really bad about the Team Charge debacle, and sincere about wanting to somehow make amends and get back into Terezi's good graces, at times trying rivalry, at times trying to prove that she's trying to fix her mistakes.

Terezi also vehemently denies them having a kismesistude and directly mirrors Vriska's hesitance about all the murder:

GC: W3 4R3 SUPPOS3D TO R3V3L 1N BLOODSH3D 4S W3 GROW UP GC: 4ND SH3 S33MS TO B3 3MBR4C1NG H3R R1T3 OF P4SS4G3 W1TH R3CKL3SS 4B4NDON, 4S 1 WOULD 3XP3CT GC: GR4BB1NG TH3 BULL BY TH3 HORNS, SO TO SP34K GC: 1TS 4 L1TTL3 1NT1M1D4T1NG GC: B3C4US3 1M NOT SUR3 1F 1M R34DY FOR TH4T

AG: On my world, I would 8e completely vindic8ed for killing him! He is far lower on the hemospectrum than me. He managed to disrespect me time and time again, 8ut I kept letting him live! In fact, the amount of slack I cut him would 8e considered scandalous 8y those in my class. AG: I had every reason to kill him. And yet... AG: I feel 8ad a8out it like a lame weak fudge8lood, just like he was. AG: And the fact that I feel 8ad is why I'm sort of freaking out right now!

They're basically two toxic girls who CANNOT be honest with their real feelings, and wind up hurting each other. They need therapy badly, but given the fact that they also mirror each other positively - Terezi feels grateful to Vriska for blinding her, and Vriska mentions she ought to thank Terezi for killing her, which set her up on a date with the dead John Terezi also killed - I think they have a lot of potential to be genuinely kind to each other once they work through their individual issues.

Anyway. We're keeping the Roxy stuff under wraps for now - last we saw of her, she went to go see her denizen, and her planet exploded, and John was really bummed about it. HOWEVER, we are going to check in with our GameOver!crew, although only lightly for now:

Meenah and (Vriska) have fully disappeared, and (Tavros), (Nepeta), and (Feferi) are looking for them because they've got the FUCKING TREASURE???

Everyone else from the Game Over timeline has landed in the afterlife, to varying degrees.

Shortly after entering the afterlife, (Eridan) fucked off somewhere to be alone. Last anyone heard from him was (ghost!Sollux) and him being Erisolsprite, but neither (ghost!Sollux) nor (alive!Sollux) have seen him since Erisolsprite died in Game Over.

(Karkat) is also brooding off on his own, feeling really shitty and sorry for himself. He's always felt personally responsible for everything going wrong for his team, and now that his team is basically entirely dead, he feels extra shitty.

Mostly just setting up that these guys are still relevant to the story, despite now being (irrelevant).

That brings us to the second retcon. Vriska obviously had great regrets about killing Tavros, both pre- and post-retcon, so she asks for his death to be prevented.

Tavros is back.

Vriska's requested fix is a very simple one - after all, Karkat makes mention about how Vriska's always had a competitive streak with Terezi, admiring/being jealous of her ability to manipul8 people; I think an ultimate culmination of that is her insisting that insisting to John that he do a retcon to stop her from killing Tavros - which, as covered above, she regrets greatly - but to do a much sloppier job of it, simply having John pop into [S] Wake and knock Tavros the fuck out.

Vriska herself doesn't believe this will have any unintended side effects, because her opinion of Tavros is still really low despite her genuine desire to make amends, and she's wrong.

Tavros's stay on the meteor has a major effect on Gamzee. I'm not entirely sure how it would pan out exactly, but I think Gamzee would step in between Dave and Tavros, into a situation none of them are happy with. This starts Tavros on a path of realizing that his inability to stand up for himself not only hurts him, but people he cares about (Gamzee, whom he ghosted).

Vriska is mostly uninterested in Tavros now, as the moment has kind of passed, and Terezi keeps getting on her ass about going after him (which brings the two of them closer).

Previous Messy romantic situations are still active. Karkat is going thru it.

Dave feels bad about tormenting Tavros but he kind of can't help himself, especially because Tavros keeps going up to him for some reason. The fact that he gets trapped in an auspice with Tavros and Gamzee kind of reinforces that he does NOT vibe with troll quadrants. Dave becomes MORE xenophobic.

On a note regarding Gamzee and Tavros: while I generally try to avoid relying on Hussie's commentary too much, as he likes to play his cards close to his chest, his note about Gamzee in the Act 5 book is actually significant enough to me to include:

The best explanation for why Gamzee says he's scared of Vriska, in my opinion, is this: he's flat-out lying. It's a good way for him to maintain his cover as 'Soft Gamzee.' It also provides some ammunition for those who, against all sense of good taste and judgment, want to continue to believe and assert that Gamzee is a decent guy with sensitive emotions and vulnerabilities before he undergoes his Muderstuck awakening. He was none of those things, ever.

Hussie likes to play coy, and you can't really trust anything he says after Act 6 because he's fed up with the fandom, but I think this comment comes early enough, and is made assertively enough, that it can be taken at face value. I know that "Soft Gamzee" is actually extremely popular in the fandom, so this may be controversial, but I do think there's more evidence for him being kind of nasty and manipulative than not, and having that always be a part of him brings more cohesiveness to his character. For example, he seems to have a pale crush on Karkat, trying to assert that Karkat is his best friend and changing the topic when Sollux gets brought up and he recognizes Karkat is closer to Sollux than him, and if you read his first log with Terezi as if he's hiding being nasty under a soft veneer, then his comments do read as pretty passive-aggressive.

TC: yOu KnOw HoW iT iS wItH fAmIlY. GC: NO, NOT R34LLY! GC: 4DURRRR DURR DURP TC: Oh YeAh... ... TC: I sPaCeD oUt, DiD yOu KnOw HoW bEaTuFuL tHe SoUnD oF tHe OcEaN iS? TC: hAvE yOu EvEr EvEn SeEn ThE oCeAn? TC: oR i MeAn SmElLeD iT... TC: SoRrY. GC: >:[

Maybe most damningly, his narration calls dealing with Eridan's genuine emotional distress "indulge emotional theatrics," an implication of his true feelings. Karkat and Eridan are heavily foreshadowed to be moirails, and Gamzee seems to have a pale crush on Karkat. What does Gamzee do in this conversation? He chases Eridan away from comforting Karkat - using the same excuse as he uses to avoid dealing with Vriska.

CA: put kar on TC: UuUuH, i cAn't rEaLlY ThInK AbOuT InTeRvEnInG, tHe bLaCk fRoWnInG MoThErFuCkEr kInDa sCaReS Me

Moreover, he does NOT seem to like Jack comforting Karkat instead, either.

THIS IS NOT TO SAY I DON'T THINK GAMZEE ALSO DESERVES A SHOT AT KINDNESS AND REDEMPTION. Gamzee is clearly a very troubled youth, between his absentee lusus, his indoctrination into a fundie doomsday cult, and his sopor usage. The fact that having his faith shattered by Dave makes him snap implies that, one, he was already unstable and teetering on the edge, and having his faith fucked with was the last straw, and two, that until he lost that last shred of hope, he was still pretending to be nicer than he was for a reason, and given that his LE worship doesn't start up until after the snappage, I think it can be extrapolated that that reason is that he genuinely wants to get along with his friends.

Given that Gamzee's issues largely stem from his neglectful lusus, it's not a stretch to say that Gamzee does not take well to abandonment and isolation. So here's kind of where Tavros comes in:

Gamzee mentions that he feels "So aT ChIlL WiTh yOu" while talking to Tavros, and Tavros reciprocates the friendship and also - interestingly - acknowledges Gamzee's religion, calling it beautiful even if he doesn't necessarily believe in it. I call it interesting because Karkat's inability to do so is explicitly one of the reasons their moirallegiance broke down. Moreover, in their first conversation together, Gamzee explicitly praises Tavros for his "gumption" for stealing his clown nose, when Tavros's avoidance of his problems is one of his biggest personal issues. So yeah, personally, I'm all for moirallegiance.

But Tavros started ghosting him after Gamzee offered to make out a little, another symptom of his avoidance issues. I'm sure that, even in this meteor trip, the fact that Gamzee killed Equius and Nepeta really scares him. In his conversation with Terezi, Terezi outright says "NO WOND3R V4NT4S C4NT ST4ND YOU"; Equius is constantly yelling at him; lots of people on their team seem to genuinely just sort of dislike him.

CG: MIRACLES ARE LIKE POOP STAINS ON GOD'S UNDERWEAR. TA: eheheh makiing fun of people2 reliigiion2 i2 the be2t thiing two do.

So having one of the few people he does really like also ghost him probably did... bad things to his mental health. Especially so when said person wound up dead. But now that he isn't dead, I think they have a shot - they just need to address their personal problems. Tavros with his avoidance, and Gamzee with his resentment toward the world, and reliance on substances and religion to take the edge off. In this meteor iteration, that doesn't quite happen - their toxic auspicetism succeeds in letting them air out their dirty laundry to the audience, but doesn't bring full reconciliation.

In any case, this meteor trip is fairly short, and uneventful from the dream bubbles side, although I do think Tavros should get a talking-to from (Tavros) about real self-esteem and self-worth.

Still, being back in contact with Tavros again, even if in kind of a messed-up way, does make Gamzee start to reconsider some of his past actions. This brings us to:

Gamzee Asks for Equius and Nepeta back.

Gamzee's not as nice as he lets on, but he does genuinely care about his teammates, and for the people he really cares about, like Karkat or Tavros, I think he's willing to stick his neck out. Bringing back Nepeta and Equius is more for Tavros than himself, really, because Tavros is scared of him for doing that, and he motherfuckin' misses Tavros, okay? John mostly agrees because he's kind of scared of Gamzee.

Some really fun stuff starts happening this go around.

The Gamzee-Tavros situation becomes resolved because this time, Equius steps in as an auspice between Tavros and Dave, and this auspicetism is COMPLETELY HEALTHY (with the bonus of being extremely funny, and what is the point of a Homestuck ship if it is not deeply funny).

Gamzee and Tavros are able to enter into a totally healthy moirallegiance once the auspicetism builds up Tavros's self-confidence, much to Karkat's relief.

Being stuck in the auspicetism makes Dave go crawling back to Terezi on his hands and knees. I'm sorry, Terezi. I'll do anything if you take me back. Just don't let me die as the guy stuck in a threesome with the two worst trolls. Dave has overcome his xenophobia.

Dave and Terezi becoming official does make Karkat sad, however, so when Nepeta finally works up the courage to confess to him, he accepts the offer to date her, thus fulfilling Jaspersprite's musing that she might only be able to date him after she dies.

They also break up. We're keeping up this trend of Karkat and his disastrous relationships. He's still involved in the Rose/Kanaya/Vriska drama, too.

With GamTav and Dave/Tavros/Equius cinched, Tavros and Vriska reach a sort of truce with each other. Not really friends, since they kind of still dislike each other, but Vriska would genuinely be glad to see Tavros getting more actually confident, and muster up the energy to genuinely apologize for almost killing him, so there's a sort of mutual respect there now. Vriska and Terezi are even closer because of this, but still not fully over their problems.

On the topic of the Dave/Tavros/Equius auspicetism: Dave still can't stop bothering Tavros, but the lewdness of it sets Equius off, so he feels like he has to intervene. Dave also can't stop himself from bothering Equius, which ALWAYS BACKFIRES, and since Tavros has a weird fondness/rivalry with Dave, he'd find it within himself to ask Equius to back off (which would work, because of Equius's... Equius). And every time Equius gets too overbearing toward Tavros, Dave feels COMPELLED to intervene, because he's like, my fucking god, you are the two worst trolls, why must weirdos fight. Dave desperately wants out, but he can't stop staring at these two.

And weirdly enough, it's beneficial for all of them. With two people to yell at him for being weird, Equius becomes less weird. With a rival in Dave and more contact with Equius, Tavros becomes more confident. And Dave has two people to rap against and feel good about his art with, something he more or less had to deal with alone during previous trips.

On the topic of Karkat and Nepeta, there are quite a few implications that they wouldn't necessarily work out. For citations, let me just link my Nepeta essay, where I go over what the comic says about their relationship from a storytelling perspective; here, I'll talk about their relationship from a more interpersonal perspective.

Karkat's signals are mixed as fuuuuuuck. While I don't necessarily think this will be an issue for Nepeta, as - as a Heart player - she's preternatually gifted at understanding motivations, the thing is... I think Nepeta can do better, and deserves better, a sentiment echoed by Jasprosesprite^2. She certainly deserves better than being second to Terezi, at the very least, even if she states she likes his outbursts.

And the thing is, Karkat is pretty explicit about saying that he doesn't return her feelings; in a world where they date, there's always going to be a sense that she's his second choice. And, just... my girl deserves better, okay? Moreover, while he respects her personhood, he's also pretty nasty to her when he DOES talk to her, implying he doesn't necessarily respect her choices. And also, she's actually really bad at shipping, so there will be this extremely weird tension of like... a hobbyist vs. a professional. I don't think Karkat would be able to stop himself from mocking some of her shipping choices if she ever opened up to him about that.

But I think them getting together is important for Nepeta, developmentally - I talk about this in my essay for her, but shipping is something I think she does need to outgrow, since it's kind of a replacement she's using for her loneliness. Moreover, I say in that essay that the issues she has in her moirallegiance with Equius warrant relationship counselling - and that's what Karkat is uniquely qualified to dispense, as the team's Blood player. Although they end up not working out, Nepeta would take several valuable lessons from this relationship - that she's kind of bad at shipping, that Equius is being kind of a shithead to her, and that she needs to start making friends with other people.

Now then. We're finally getting into some drama in the bubbles.

Please imagine for me Equius and Horuss talking, and Equius being aghast at the way Horuss is so derisive towards his matesprit and moirail. Now imagine him pulling a mic out of nowhere and rapping at him about how his problem is that he does not respect his partners. Now imagine Tavros and Dave joining in, also out of nowhere, with Tavros adding bars about how the hemospectrum is, not a good thing, he thinks. And Dave adding bars about how he does not have a fucking dog in this race. He's not even a troll. He doesn't understand their hemospectrum. Let him out of here. The fine fucking art of Alternian slam poetry. I think Horuss would start crying. So would I if three people including my grandkid started rapping at me.

Nepeta's uncanny emotional acumen leads to her wanting to befriend Damara, but being unable to speak her language.

GameOver!crew is up to something, IDK, probably showing (Tavros) inspiring people and rebuilding the ghost army, to tell a parallel story to Tavros becoming more genuinely self-confident.

We check in with the Alpha kids, too, who have some group therapy sessions led by Roxy.

Vriska and Tavros confront Rufioh together, a final culmination of their no-longer-enemiesship, and together, they steal Rufioh's ones. Like, Tavros starts speak1ng w1th ones, something he always had in him, and they also roast Rufioh so badly that he stops speaking in ones. But the way it's presented to the audience, Vriska outright just says that Tavros should steal his ones. And Tavros does. This carries over to successive retcons, as it's implied that Tavros just kind of starts naturally being more confident as healthy relationships are established sooner and sooner.

Anyway, a final note about Equius - his problems are mostly due to being sheltered. Although he is probably the most casteist highblood, he's not really that casteist, as what's really going on is just that he's got a BDSM kink. But because he's sheltered, he does not realize that it's a kink. And a fetishist who does not realize that they're a fetishist has more power than God.

His protectiveness of Nepeta does come from a good place; preventing her from playing FLARP was actually in her best interest, given what happens to people who play FLARP. But he's very much going overboard with it, likely an extension of his own lack of understanding of how much sheltering is good and how much becomes detrimental. What he really needs is for someone to point it out to him, which I think he gets via Nepeta or via Karkat, and then have a reaaaaally long think about it. He's genuinely a polite and helpful soul, who doesn't WANT to make people uncomfortable. The auspicetism is very good for him in this regard, as is his moirallegiance once Karkat talks him and Nepeta through their issues.

The point is, once he's forced to reckon with the fact that the degeneracy is coming from inside the house, I think he'd have a LOT of regrets about the way he treated Aradia. Which leads us to:

Whoops That Robot Thing Was Really Inappropriate Huh

Equius approaches John to ask him to make Past!Equius reconsider the Aradiabot Thing. John's getting kind of impatient with all these trolls who keep asking him to go back through time, but given that everyone seems a little happier each time, he can't help but agree.

So he goes back to the past, before Equius can give Aradia her robot body with the love chip in it, and something really fun gets to happen here: first of all, Equius's Void status makes him really hard to place, so John winds up missing by a bit, time-wise, so Aradia's already in the body. This is the first time that retconning!John and Aradia have been in the same place together, and when she meets him and finds out that he can time travel without causing paradoxes, she demands (with her Aradiabot deathmurderkill intensity) to be taken back in time to before she died.

John's retcon powers explicitly ignore the usual rules of paradox space - he describes it as a "fresh start". Given that Breath is associated with choices and freedom, his retcon powers are kind of the ultimate culmination of his abilities as a breath player. Although doomed timelines can and will still result from paradoxes caused by players when John isn't there, anything he directly interferes with is totally a-okay.

So all Aradiabot asks him for is passage back in time, in order to sanction her interference in the past. After she dismisses him, she still more or less has to adhere to events in the original timeline, for two reasons - the first being that she doesn't want to risk a new doomed timeline, and the second so she can keep the timeline predictable.

So even though she's basically asked for passage to the time period before SGRUB, it's basically outright stated that the progression of events has to be more or less the same, up until the point where John's other retcons take place. So here are the cascading effects of Aradiabot preventing her own death:

Aradiabot takes Aradia's place in the Team Charge debacle, being blown up/"killed" (as a sprite) by Sollux's eye beams, so that she can take Aradia's place as Doc Scratch/the Handmaiden's servant and "carry out" their orders.

Meanwhile, Aradia seeks refuge with Equius, whose void powers keep her hidden from Doc Scratch's omnipotence.

Because Sollux never actually killed Aradia, and Aradia communicates with him via Equius's account, Sollux is less depressed and self-loathing. He no longer predicts a future where all of them die and he has to be blinded. It's left deliberately vague whether this future comes to pass because he's less pessimistic, so his Mage powers are calling a happier future into being, or if his future changed, so his Mage powers are prophesying something new.

Nepeta starts regaining memories of alternate timelines and past retcons, as an extension of her Rogue of Heart powers. This includes the relationship counselling she received from Karkat.

Between Nepeta and Aradia yelling at him, Equius's character development starts sooner, so he's squared away for future events, and ends up not making the creepy Aradiabot, making a non-creepy one instead.

Aradia and Equius do not strike up a relationship, and become uneasy enemies/friends.

Aradia secretly god tiers well in advance of Jack's arrival, and meets him at Derse rather than awakening on her crypt there.

Aradia and Sollux continue a loving matespritship, leading to Sollux settling into a moirallegiance with Feferi. He's devastated when she dies, which still happens along with the rest of Eridan's freakout; Aradiabot doesn't intervene because she's needed for:

Aradiabot winds up being the one to sacrifice herself piloting the meteor, allowing Sollux to stay with the rest of the team when he meets up with Aradia, (Aradia), and (Sollux) at the Green Sun. Aradiabot winds up with the GameOver!crew.

With the 1337 hackers back in commission, Sollux and Roxy are able to establish a server connection with each other, allowing them to communicate during the 3-year meteor trip.

Aradia involves herself in the Rose/Kanaya/Vriska Mess, and I kind of can't decide what I like better - a vascillatory pitch/flush threeway between Rose, Kanaya, and Vriska, now that Vriska's near the end of her character development, with Aradia serving as a stabilizing force as Kanaya's on-again off-again moirail, or Aradia stepping in as an auspice. Either way, it's out of Karkat's hands.

This has a knock-on effect of finally giving Vriska the chance to fully make amends with Aradia, which winds up cinching the Vriska/Terezi moirallegiance. The scourge sisters are back baybee. And between a healthy moirallegiance for Terezi and a healthy moirallegiance for Gamzee, I think pitch Terezi/Gamzee could work as a healthy ship this time around. I'm not married to it, but they did always seem to hate each other well before SGRUB.

Nepeta has LEARNED HER LESSON regarding dating Karkat, so that does not happen.

Karkat now has no quadrants. He winds up desperately throwing himself at Sadstuck Sollux to try and help him get over his breakup. It's not a good look. Sadkat. He also takes up talking to the alpha kids for emotional support, which puts them off, too. Still gives really good relationship advice. He's clearly one of the more unstable members of the retcon!crew at this point.

We're light on the dream bubble drama this time around because of how MUCH is happening for the retcon!crew, but there's going to be a reference in there of Nepeta learning East Beforan.

SO. NOTES TIME.

Aradia expresses outright that she hated the feeling that she was set up and that she wishes someone would have stopped her from being so reckless. And although she seems to find some satisfaction in being the stewardess of the afterlife, there's clearly some resentment there that she's been forced into that role, as she expresses that what she's really looking forward to is watching it all break apart. There's also kind of an orphaned plot thread where Aradia is spending a lot of time in the afterlife putting knowledge together, which never really directly pays off except to the audience, and I think a really good way to bring that back in would be for her to be communing with (Aradia) in the dream bubbles in order to make sure the timeline flows as smoothly as possible.

As for Aradia/Kanaya - they're actually really good friends, and Aradia expresses that she's flattered that Kanaya wants to talk to her so much. There is a tone here that matches the way Vriska thinks about Kanaya when Kanaya is still ostensibly Vriska's moirail, and Kanaya herself admits to being attracted to people who are reckless. In fact...

AA: i just wish AA: back when i was behaving recklessly AA: i had s0me0ne t0 tell me t0 st0p listening AA: even if i ended up ign0ring their advice AA: it w0uld have been nice

GA: It Must Be A Certain Madness Im Afflicted By GA: To Orbit Those More Reckless And Dangerous Than I And More Daring For It GA: I Guess I Want To Help Them But They Never Can Be Helped It Seems

So I'm just kind of saying... Aradia and Kanaya moirallegiance... is not entirely unfounded. And a moirail stabilizes a troll's other relationships; if we have a moirail for Kanaya and a moirail for Vriska, then the Mess that is whatever's going on with Kanaya, Vriska, and Rose would probably resolve itself, I think. Either way, Rose is surrounded by SUCH a girl's night of emotional support to help her with sobriety now.

As for whatever's going on between her and Equius, I tend to believe the comic when it tells me relationships don't work out, and Aradia expresses regret for kissing him during the Ministrife. I think they could be good vitriolic frenemies, though.

Okay, onto Sollux.

In the same panel where Eridan and Karkat are implied to be "hatched for each other" pale-wise, Feferi and Sollux are foreshadowed in the same way:

They also spend a LOT OF TIME curled up in a pile together talking about their feelings, which we don't see with matesprits, but we DO see with moirails. Nepeta and Equius do the same thing, and they are kind of THE moirails. So I think Sollux and Feferi were always meant to be pale, but because Aradia died, Sollux wound up taking Feferi on as a matesprit instead. Between EriFef, SolFef, and GamTav, people getting flushed and pale feelings entangled is like, a Running Thing, so it's not really surprising to me.

Now, here's the thing. We already know that Sollux likes to cope with a rebound, since he went flushed with Feferi after Aradiabot exploded and was presumed dead. And Karkat cares very fucking much about Sollux, to the point where Gamzee speculates that he's actually Karkat's best friend, and Karkat even calls him that (although Karkat also kind of just calls anyone his best friend, lol).

CG: GAMZEE WAS MY VERY GOOD FRIEND, WHO WAS THIS GOOFY LOVEABLE BULLSHIT CLOWN UNTIL HE WENT PSYCHO AND KILLED SOME PEOPLE. I LIKED HIM A LOT. CG: I DON'T KNOW, I GUESS MY BEST FRIEND IS REALLY JUST THE GUY WHO I HAPPEN TO BE FEELING MOST SENTIMENTAL TO AT THE MOMENT, IS THAT A FUCKING CRIME.

This crab's got so much love in him. In any case, I mostly just want to keep sticking Karkat in these extremely unhealthy relationships for a while. It makes it sweeter when he finally winds up with Eridan LIKE HE WAS ALWAYS MEANT TO... but yeah.

Cross-session communication is also entirely possible, as Sollux set up chat clients between the trolls and the kids in the first place, and even without that, Kanaya found Rose's old GameFAQs on a server in the Furthest Ring. With both Sollux and Roxy on the case, there's no way they can't somehow establish communications way sooner.

Regarding Nepeta regaining her memories, let me once more point you towards the Nepeta essay. She's on track to become the one who attains Ultimate Selfhood, and comforts people like Jade and John about not really knowing their friends or being lonely.

But yeah, obviously Sollux asks for Feferi to be brought back.

F-EF-ERI!!!! 38D

Mostly Sollux just asks to be prevented from provoking Eridan so harshly. Eridan still winds up blowing up the matriorb, and thus, still getting killed by Kanaya in retribution, but this means that Eridan is now the only member of the team left dead.

PITCH FEFNEP. PITCH FEFNEP. PITCH FEFNEP

Pitch FefNep leads to Feferi letting slip something casteist where Sollux can hear; he doesn't personally care because he's heard much worse, but puts them on a break while she sorts herself out. They get back together after that.

Karkat alone :'( he's mostly just talking to the alpha kids at this point, trying to hide from all the happy fucking relationships happening all around him.

If the last retcon was really heavy on the retcon!crew, then this one is much more about what's happening in the bubbles. We get most of our dancestor development this go around. Do not read if you like the dancestors! I go very in-depth about how most of them are horrible people on purpose here, so their arcs are mostly about them being pulled up on their abject awfulness.

Nepeta, who has learned East Beforan, is able to talk to Damara and have an earnest heart-to-heart with her about how awfully she was treated. They hug and cry. Damara, finally validated, gives everyone a big middle finger.

Feferi heals Mituna's brain injury, because literally why the FUCK has nobody else done that. Now once more in control of his faculties, he breaks up with Latula, pissed off that she took advantage of him all those eons to boost her own ego. He also gives everyone a big middle finger. Damara steals her skateboard and high fives Mituna.

Porrim's basically the only dancestor who grew as a person so I think she mostly escapes unscathed.

Latula gets chased around by Sollux and Aradia, who basically just bully her for being bad at games. This is a date to them.

Gamzee completely refutes Kurloz, with his newfound clarity about the real miracle being friendship and the real dark carnival being the world he and his friends will build, not that LE noise.

In a double team between Terezi and Rose, Meulin gets eviscerated for the way her own Issues have made her ships deliberately awful, that she could have simply Not, and she has a bit of a breakdown.

As Feferi is grappling with her privilege and internalized casteism, Cronus wanders up to try and hit on her, and she goes "oh my god... when people look at me, are you what they see? A friendless loser that nobody likes? A total waste of seawater who's only pretending to be cool with the lower castes? A totally fake poser? 38(" Cronus just goes "..." and starts crying and Feferi ends the convo oblivious to that, just going "wow... thanks for talking with me! really gave me a lot to think about" imagine how funny it would be -

Karkat finds and talks to (Eridan), where he fully admits to missing the guy. His mopiness is so extreme that (Eridan) takes issue with it and punches him, before basically yelling at him to get his shit together. Karkat then yells at HIM for him to get HIS shit together, and they both leave, intent on getting their shit together.

We also get an update on Vriska and Meenah at this point, where Meenah is starting to seem more into how they totally ditched their responsibilities than Vriska is.

So the thing with this update is that most of the trolls have sorted their shit out; even Karkat has had a lot of introspection about how he really just fucking loves his friends and should have been more honest about it, not worried so much about appearing weak or lame. With the double Aradias in play to kind of handwave that the timeline will be stable because they're ensuring all loops get completed and all necessary conversations happen, and with everyone's successful relationships on display, we can kind of truncate the next leg of the journey:

Karkat Fixes Everything

Karkat is the Friendship Troll. Karkat is the Romance Troll. Karkat is the Bonds troll. He is their team's Blood player, and as the Blood player, he's been shown to deeply love all of his fucking friends - yes, even the assholes. Maybe even especially them.

As such, it's vitally important for the last push - last leg of the journey - to belong to Karkat. Where would our Blood player be without his bonds? Well, we actually have the answer to that. It's knocked out and prevented from joining in any of the important boss battles. LAME!

So in the last retcon, Karkat hears from Nepeta about the retcons that have been happening, and he really starts digging through his own past. If every retcon so far has been each troll only feeling comfortable undoing their own personal mistakes, then what of the guy who feels personally responsible for everything, all the time, forever?

Look, I'm not saying that a shipping chart saves Homestuck, but... by the time this last retcon is through, every Alternian troll is alive and god tiered. And he is dating Eridan.

If you have any questions about him dating Eridan, please refer to the link above. That essay is nearly as long as this one. There's SO MUCH FUCKING FORESHADOWING.

I don't think the god tiering needs to be explained, because if we hear that Karkat basically made his past self a shipping chart, and we've seen everybody's character development as they've gone through this journey, and we have Aradias on timeline duty and Nepeta with memories of past retcons and her alternate selves, I think we can more or less gloss over exactly how they go about earning their wings while maintaining timeline integrity. The important thing is that Karkat is dating Eridan now.

Because that leads to the last few bits of dream bubble stuff, but before we get into that...

Miscellaneous Plot Things That Need To Happen But I Don't Know Where To Put Them

Yeah there's just some ideas that I have floating around that need to be placed somewhere but IDK exactly where, or exactly how they shake out.

Hal becomes a real boy. And by that I mean as part of their character development, Jake makes Hal "real" a la brain ghost Dirk, and then the rest of them have to scramble against the clock (Jake's ability to maintain Hal's realness) to god tier him and make his existence permanent. He's a Sylph of Mind, which allows him to negate Condy's mind control. And maybe a GCATboy?

(Tavros) becomes the new leader of the ghost army.

Davesprite winds up dead at some point in the bubbles and doesn't explain how he died, but he and (Dave) get to fight each other and hash out their Realness and Relevance issues, before facing their final boss fight as bros once more.

Jade and Nepeta get to talk, and Nepeta gives Jade the reassuring speech about Ultimate Selfhood and how she won't be lonely forever. Maybe it's flushed. Might leave it ambiguous.

Somebody needs to auspicetize Dirk and Jake holy shit. Dunno who. Maybe Karkat, but I kind of like him pitch with Dirk, so IDK really.

Dad needs to die. Sorry Dad. If I can find a way to kill off all of the sprites besides ARquiusprite, I will. It's explicitly stated that sprites are drawn to the battlefield during the Reckoning, presumably to die, as part of the coming-of-age themes - losing one's guardians. It's sad but it's gotta happen.

All the Godtier!Calliope stuff basically happens as-is.

Can you tell I need to do more research on the alpha kids...

Ok Back To Karkat And Eridan

I think I'm going to leave their moirallegiance fairly ambiguous, but when Eridan is brought back, he and Karkat are basically together all the time. Karkat's signals are mixed even on the best of days, so I don't know how easy it'll be to tell that these two assholes slinging death threats at each other are pale, but *I* will know, and that's what matters.

This leads to the last two dancestor takedowns:

Karkat and Eridan (mostly Eridan) round on Kankri. Eridan calls him SO MANY SLURS. The fact that Karkat not only condones this, but is DATING ERIDAN, kind of makes Kankri lose it a bit.

(Karkat) and (Eridan), who have reconciled in the bubbles, finally find (Vriska) and Meenah. (Karkat) gives the two of them the speech that retcon!Vriska gave (Vriska) in the comic's original ending, but this time around, (Vriska) actually agrees with him. This serves as a conclusion to (Karkat) and Meenah's arc, and causes Meenah to feel so bad that she walks back to the other dancestors in shame, as (Vriska) leaves with him with the treasure to finally fight LE.

When Meenah returns to the dancestors, the first one she finds is Aranea, who's really sad about her own little escapade, blaming herself for the way Game Over went. This prompts Meenah to go, no, it was probably my fault, shouldn't have let you run off like that. And this would, from all the sobbing dancestors, prompt a string of "no, I'm the reason we failed"s, eventually culminating in Meenah rallying them together to do one last good thing before everyone gets sucked into the black hole and go join the fight against LE. Everyone agrees.

(Gamzee) is revived by the life players and cursed with immortality, so he can go on to become LE and complete that time loop. He is immediately locked in the fridge. This is also why he can't fucking die no matter what you do to him.

This also leads us into the final boss fights.

VS. CONDY

The twelve trolls. The Condesce represents tyranny, the worst aspects of the trolls' old society, and as such, is most thematically taken down by them. While she did fuck up the alpha kids' lives, too, I just personally think it's so much more thematic and satisfying to watch her be beaten down by the trolls.

VS. THE THREE JACKS

The eight kids plus Hal plus Davesprite. With Bec Noir specifically, it's fucking PERSONAL, as this guy killed their parents. This is where Dave fulfils his destiny of killing an iteration of English with his sword, when he decapitates Jack English; the person in the middle of that sandwich is Davesprite, which is how he dies and winds up in the bubbles. The iteration of Jack that survives to date Ms. Paint is Spades Slick, as he's the most sympathetic out of all of them and didn't kill anybody's parents.

At some point during this fight, I like the idea that they get zapped away by Jack English, John zaps them to the Godtier!Caliborn fight where he gets sealed in the juju, and then we cut back to the fight with Jack English, where, inexplicably, they all zap right back in.

VS. THE FELT

The spares - ARquiussprite, (Gamzee) in the fridge (who has since been revived by the life players and blessed/cursed with eternal life so he can go on to fulfill his role in the timelines and become part of LE), Dad, and the other sprites (if any of them are left alive).

VS. LORD ENGLISH

The GameOver!crew, the ghost army, the dancestors (they have a Big Damn Heroes moment right near the end, buying Jake time to deploy the Weapon), Aradiabot, and Davesprite.

Jake fulfills his destiny to defeat the Lord of all Angels by being the one to deploy the weapon, which deposits the beta kids, who knock LE in to the black hole. They then zap out of there, collecting the alpha kids from after the Caliborn fight, and zap back to the fight with the Jacks.

This specific configuration of boss battles winds up leaving Lord English entirely up to dead characters, who are then implied to all eventually get sucked into the black hole - their memories to live on through the living characters via Ultimate Selfhood, which only Nepeta achieves on screen, but implies that they will all achieve eventually.

It's important to me that the GameOver!crew is the one leading the fight against Lord English, as they're the ones who were the most screwed over by LE and his machinations - manipulated into killing each other, used as servants of his will, dying ignobly in a doomed timeline filled with special stardust. Meanwhile, the retcon!kids and trolls prove what they've learned - about compassion, kindness, equality, and forgiveness - by beating the shit out of the Condesce, who represents the horrors of Alternia, and the Jacks, especially Bec Noir and Jack English - the latter of which is a shadow of what Lord English represents - immaturity, cruelty, hatred - and the former of which is a culmination of all the failures they committed to get to this point, a symptom of their universal cancer.

I wrote a little snippet of Aradia once, and I think I'll use that to end this essay:

(ARADIA): ok now that we are all done being stupid (ARADIA): im sure enough people here remember the plan that i dont need to explain it again (ARADIA): so instead i just wanted to say (ARADIA): leave your backs to us and face forward without fear (ARADIA): the dead and irrelevant will slay the demon of double death while you unmake the threats of the living (ARADIA): and personally i think it's very fitting that he will perish here as nothing more than a bad dream (ARADIA): this will be the last time we see each other (ARADIA): so on behalf of everyone that you are going to be leaving behind (ARADIA): live (ARADIA): and be happy!

[katerinaaqu]

I am reallh afraid of sounding dumb and idiot, but... Why didnt Odysseus and his crew started fishing? They were in the middle of the ocean. Surely they could fish to not starve, right? (And not end up slaying Helios' cows)

Well hahaha although I oftentimes say "whoever says that about Odysseus probably has never fished before" but I get it is hard to get it sometimes it seems obvious hahaha but it is not. So allow me to elaborate a bit on some estimations.

Sorry in advance if I blabber a lot hahaha 😆

Fishing is not a sustainable form of nutrition on the long run as an exclusive source of food. That is because even if we do have abundance of fish we still need to fish long hours to catch a fish and by n large the fish that are close to the surface or to the shore are small fish so you need to catch a large quantity of them if you wish to have a quantity enough to feed one person.

Not to mention that half the fish's weight is the guts, scales and bones. The guts are not edible on their own even if ancient Greeks and later Romans even more, created a type of fermented fish sauce from the guts (the Roman garum) but fermentation is a long process and cannot be done on a ship so if they were to catch fish then half of their quantity would be the guts and scales and that would be useless to them. Moreover it would take longer to catch the meal of the day if they did at all. Even if we do estimate seas be richer in fish back on the day it is not like video games when someone throws the bait and the fish pops up.

Large quantities per person are required. By n large if you are to survive on fish you require a decent amount of quantity per person like 200 grams to half a kilo which as I said to fish you require double at first if you remove the guts. It's good not to starve but not dense enough for the stomach to give you plenty of calories to survive on the long run either unless we speak of fatty fish like sardine and even that since it is small it requires quantities to fill a person.

To be more specific in Greece we eat a lot of fish both bigger and smaller and by n large we accompany it with other stuff such as bread or vegetables. Just fish does not keep you filled up for a long time like red meat or Fibre and it IS very nutritious but not THAT high in calories to be eaten on its own. And as I said not all fish that exist on shore and close to the surface are big. 3000 years ago the drafting method of fishing bigger fish was not really a thing haha and you needed to use baits to catch bigger fish. Denser foods could keep someone for longer and an animal could feed several people while with dish you either need multiple or bigger fish to cover the needs of multiple men.

Preparation is not practical. As I mentioned before for someone to prepare the fish means you need to remove the scales that are not chewable, cut the fish and then gut it and all the blood and guts are not only emitting a terrible smell but could be a hazard for crew. It gathers flies and birds and the rotting of blood could affect the wood of the ship. Moreover cooking the fish would be almost impossible unless someone was drying salt water for its salt and bake it in salt.

Sure the guts can be used as a bait to gather more fish but it is not practical to have that on your deck 24/7. On shore is easier to prepare and cook of course although close to the shore as I said we have the issue or smaller fish as opposed to open sea. Which is why in antiquity mollusks were more often than actual fish for they were easier to find easier to prepare and didn't require much. To the shore you should throw nets in the water. Alternatively one could look for other seafood like sea urchins or octopodes.

However I believe there is one thing that we need to consider because yes we can analyze forever as to how sustainable is or isn't in real life for people to survive exclusively on fishing on a remote island of the Mediterannean sea but one thing that we need to remember is this 😁😆

The poetic factor. Surely we must not forget the principles of the poem. The poem is not necessarily a realistic representation of everyday life in antiquity or a realistic survival mode story but is a mythical poem.

Even though Odysseus mentions the technique of fishing when he describes the gruesome scene with Skylla, Homer by n large depicts his heroes and characters dine almost exclusively on meat. Even in the case where Odysseus visits his slave and swine herder Eumaeus, he feeds him some meat cheese and bread. In most scenes of Iliad and Odyssey with some exceptions to the rule the heroes are eating meat almost exclusively

That is not realistic neither does it respond to the real dietary habits of ancient Greeks (or modern Greeks for that matter) or most ancient cultures of that time. Most of the time meat was a delicacy or something eaten at celebrations or during some sacrifice. Animals were precious and were offering much to the humans for example cows offered milk and labor for farming. People wouldn't go about slaughtering cows in the manner we see in Iliad or Odyssey otherwise we would have no animal left. Chicken lay eggs and the slaughter of one usually happened when the chicken could not lay eggs anymore. Goats and sheep gave milk and sheep gave wool which was precious for many uses. Again we wouldn't randomly see people slaughter goats and sheep the way Homer shows.

Of course in terms of traveling meat was a sustainable way to survive given how one animal could feed many individuals and the meat could be dried or salted beforehand and taken with them but even then one can expect more legumes or bread being taken with them than animals for slaughter or chicken to lay eggs instead.

But we also need to remember apart from the symbolistic diet the heroes have in the Odyssey something else;

Homer doesn't mention fishing exclusively in Helios isle not because he is stupid and cannot think of anything else that a person might realistically use to survive such as fish mollusks grass and berries or other. He creates the scene to show how men were helpless before the will of fate and of gods. We do not know if the heroes had tried to fish or not we just know it didn't work even if they tried because their fate was already written and they had nothing else to do but starve to death or slaughter the cattle of Helios.

Otherwise we could also ask why didn't they hunt? We do see them hunt wild goats before. So what was their problem? Surely any other kind of animal is expected to live there and provide nutrition. Even rats and other rodents like rabbits could do. Why not those? Homer implies that no such thing existed which again realistically speaking makes no sense that absolutely no wildlife not even wild birds or rabbits and rats didn't exist close to a cattle enclosure but he let's us assume that there wasn't because that is what the story is about

If we keep asking as to why this happened so in the Odyssey one could also ask why didn't people believe Cassandra even if she spoke the truth? Why didn't anyone believe her even if she was proven right the other times? Why didn't any of the people who went to hear Christ on the mountain had no food with them and they even thought it would be the only natural that Christ and the deciples were somehow in charge to feed them? Etc there are many parts that if one thinks of them from all sides they do not make sense through and through even if they do have logic in there

The heroes could have tried to fish and failed to catch something each and every time. They could have tried to hunt or gather and failed because for some reason only inedible grass and cattle existed on the island. No bushes with berries, no wild fruit, no roots, no rodents no mollusks or any other or even roaches or any other insect one in theory could use and get SOME nutrients in their system is not there.

Realistically speaking that is not much probable but Homer just let's us know that this was the situation. Moreover they had opposite wind consistently and couldn't sail out. None of that makes any sense realistically but this was the curse of the men

By n large the plot is such because the tradition and literature calls for it. It does not need to make sense in its totality as if it were placed in a realistic scenario even if it has logic (as I said fishing is not sustainable on the long run) but it is supposed to be the plot that brings the conditions together if that makes sense.