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#pretty boy muscle
hejira3326 · 4 months
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hejira33321 · 21 days
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hejira33313 · 11 months
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hejira33312 · 11 months
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hejira3329 · 11 months
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taylorswiftt1 · 3 months
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da-janela-lateral · 4 months
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I see plenty Dad Reigen out there but where are my Dimples exhibiting weird uncle behavior
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maleness-addict · 1 year
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david christian by airik prince for nasty pig (2023)
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kikker-oma · 6 months
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art requests you say? may I request a sleepy Four?
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bradandchris · 1 year
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Chris threw in the last towel for his burgeoning line of men's underwear after learning his boyfriend Brad sourced the prototypes by purchasing them directly from SKIMS.
Finally connecting why they took a sheet to the beach that one day, Brad found it difficult to pay attention to a lecture on copyright infringement from someone involved in such an oversight debacle. It was also hard not to wonder what the grey skintight suit might look like wet.
Brad was far from alone. Everyone in the closest row of cabana's would hold their breath every time Brad took a small step backwards toward the pool in his highly animated and passionate speech oddly championing someone with billions, a team of lawyers, and the law already in their favor.
She was also a lawyer herself... or at minimum on her way. It was difficult to keep up with bar exam news between Klhoe's lackluster clap back's and finding yourself justifying why not a single man has managed to remain on the show despite secretly feeling not so hot about that. It was a lot with nowhere to go, especially considering the level of sophistication fronted.
Brimming with frustration at his boyfriend's antics, Chris snapped and rushed Brad midsentence to land them both squarely in the pool. Everyone on deck was already on the edge of their seat as they surfaced.
Well… Let's just say Kim K deserves every single dollar she has as the pool deck literally broke out in applause at the sheer glean and mind-blowing accentuation of Brad's perfect nipples. It was breathtaking. It was the only time the two of them wished California was more humid and colder.
Despite the gray suit's flawlessness, Brad and Chris still managed to one up the design. The incident inspired them to launch a new brand of swimwear composed completely of dissolvable materials called ‘Sorry But Not Sorry SKIMMY.’ The initial investor would convince Brad and Chris to shorten the name to ‘But SKIMMY’ to transform it into the ultimate macho answer to the curvaceous clothing line.
Ironically, Brad and Chris’ venture would fail because no one could materialize a profitable dissolvable.
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12aminnyc · 29 days
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Come to my hotel room?
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boringsideeffect · 3 months
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every time an artist draws Andrew Minyard as thick and beefy, an angel (me) gets its wings
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taylorswiftt1 · 21 days
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0v3rcast · 1 year
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Gnaw: Grudge Match
For the first time, the Archon War and its ending are subject to a second opinion.
(And that opinion is yours.)
Osial banks across the stormy sky, feathers of his right wing dipping into the clouds above, water and wind forming beads against his wingtips that follow him as he dips back down. You lend him your energy, and Electro arcs across the vast plumage of his wings and pools inside the beads.
He flaps his wing. A single storm bead rockets down from the sky.
Fishing boats and trading ships are reduced to soaked splinters and fractured metal. The remains of sails, now naught but tatters, writhe in the wind before falling into the sea.
Those who do not die from the sheer enormity of the impact drown in the harbor, bleed out from shrapnel of their own ships, or meet their end at the hands of your contributed Electro energy.
Within fifteen seconds, the harbor has been reduced to a graveyard, the ruined husks of an entire fleet now skeletons lying in deathless slumber on the seabed.
Osial laughs, wild and untamed, just this side of lost to mania, and he dives, his wings glimmering with Anemo.
The Golden House didn't really stand much of a chance.
Electrically-charged Mora are funneled en masse into the vortex above, glinting gold with lightning tails flowing up into the sky in chaotic patterns. Some magnetize against each other, some fly alone, others ricochet into the sea or embed themselves into the land.
Several unlucky souls are punched cleanly through by the symbol of their nation's prosperity, leaving gaping holes in their flesh and ruined bones.
Their screams, warped by the wind and rain and the song of thunder, are a beautiful chorus to you. A performance to welcome you home and give warning to those who foolishly stand against you.
Thunder roars, deafening, and lightning falls, piercing Millelith members. Rain weighs them down, wind steals their breath, and the wind chill robs even the most hale and hearty of a steady aim.
Osial flicks out another storm bead. Several buildings are blasted apart, their rubble crushing their neighbors, metal and stone and wood making a cacophony of ruin.
Entire lives are being uprooted. Centuries of tradition are vanishing under the onslaught. The work of thousands of human lives simply vanishes as it topples into the bay, the waves hungrily lapping at the base of the city and greedily swallowing all that cannot escape.
A small smile stretches over your face.
They deserve this.
With a flick of your wrist, the remaining Mora cluster together into a single massive ball, and you will it towards the wreckage of the city with a little mental exertion.
It crashes down into the heart of the city, right where Rex Lapis once died, and it then erupts as all the force keeping it together simply ceases to do so.
Golden coins and human gore scatter in every direction as fleeing civilians are reduced to mulch by this world's most ostentatious fragmentation explosive.
Osial howls in glee, currents of vicious wind tearing humans from the streets and into his waiting maw as he dives again and again.
In the distance, there is a roar.
The earth shakes to its foundations as immense stone pillars rip free, aimed for Osial, their normally flat tops ground to geometrically perfect diamond spearpoints.
"Morax," Osial sneers. "Come to watch your miserable excuse for a city die under my wings?"
The being that appears then is not Zhongli, or even Rex Lapis. It is Morax. An ancient dragon, Archon of Geo. The God of Contracts and War. This is no simple serpent, no puppet meant to be majestic and awe-inspiring - this is the war-form. The true face of a draconic god, plated in metals hewn from the heart of the world, innards glowing with yellow-orange energy.
This Morax is the face of death.
Morax roars in wordless fury at his old foe... but then his eyes catch sight of you.
The roar becomes deafening, full of such hatred and vitriol that Osial briefly forgets to fly from surprise, leading him to dive instead.
On some cruel instinct, you give Morax the smuggest, most shit-eating grin you can conjure, and you mouth 'where were you when they needed you?'
If looks could kill, Morax would have just reduced you to subatomic particles.
You gesture to Osial, your gift helping to subtly translate, and he launches up into the storm and the highest points of the atmosphere.
Morax follows, howling threats in a language you don't know.
(The elements lean forward in their seats. You've just invited them to the best fight this eon. Bets are already being made. Geo and Anemo both grin at the other, eager to see whose champion is superior.)
Meteors fall, carved apart by wind.
Voices carry for thousands of miles, roaring in pain and glee and fury.
Bones shatter, scales are torn apart, wounds ooze blood in quantities enough to bathe Liyue in a red rain... and Gods war.
On the ground, the storm has only increased in strength, now that so much more energy is being poured into the area.
Not helping is the hail of immense stone pieces.
Where godly blood lands, life is burnt away by the acidic touch of divinity.
Those who did not flee before can flee no longer without risking swift, painful death.
(Ganyu weeps, the work of thousands of years falling apart in less than five hours. What use were her labors?)
(Ningguang vanishes into a bunker beneath the stone, where she can wait out this chaos. She will build herself back up. This is simply a setback.)
(Hu Tao watches from a distant field as her home is utterly destroyed.
...some morbid little part of her gleefully remarks that business is about to be skyrocketing.)
(Shenhe is unaware of this happening, having been spirited away into Cloud Retainer's realm the moment said Adeptus realized just who had been given a burial at sea.)
(Yanfei is luckily out of the country right now, instead in Fontaine to deal with a reappearing case she'd long thought solved.)
(Xinyan assists in evacuation efforts, her flames burning away godsblood and rain to shelter those nearby.)
(Chongyun and Xingqiu barely manage to stem the tide of raging Hilichurls that are dead set on killing the escaping civilians.)
(Kequing lies in the collapsed rubble of a multi-story building, her Vision repeatedly shocking her as Electro takes the moment to be immensely petty.)
(Xiao drowns in his Karmic Debt, feathers trying to force their way through his skin as his more animalistic instincts refuse to obey.)
(Baizhu has already fled, knowing that he neither can be nor wishes to be of use in this fight. His work is not yet done.)
(Yaoyao stands guard over the population who have made it to her home village.)
(Yun Jin helps to gather scattered families back together amongst the crowds of refugees. Xiangling and her father work to feed the masses while they are all displaced.)
(Beidou watches the storm from the far horizon on the deck of the Alcor. Going in would be suicide, but not helping is just as unthinkable. She must choose, but the sheer weight of the choice is paralyzing. The fleet follows behind her, whether that is into certain death or into retreat.)
(Qiqi stands in the heaviest torrents of the storm. Where the blood of gods stains her skin, life is breathed back into dead flesh.))
Far above in the heavens, Osial and Zhongli are tangled, claws gouging into the new Anemo Archon's innards as coils attempt to shatter the Geo Archon's ancient spine.
There is a deafening crack as Morax's spine bends in a way it was never supposed to.
Ribbons of intestine hang from the massive wound in Osial's underbelly.
Both of them begin to fall to the face of Teyvat tens of thousands of miles below, and you are along for the ride.
Osial lets out a wheezy cackle as he tightens his grip on Morax, drowning in his own blood.
Morax writhes, wings unresponsive.
You hug yourself against Osial. Impact comes far sooner than you expected.
There is darkness.
When you wake, you are in the shallows of an immense crater, exactly where Liyue Harbor should have been. The moon glows pale white above you.
Shattered pillars and ruined buildings jut from the not-quite-bay.
Sitting next to you is a not-very-undead Qiqi. She gives you a relieved look when she sees you're alive. You offer her a thumbs up, as though that will solve the issue.
She accepts it with as much grace as anyone in her situation can and returns the thumbs up, smiling at you faintly.
Beneath you is Osial, dying from mortal wounds but still very alive. Somewhere in the distance is a similarly wounded Morax.
You climb down from your dying companion and come to face him.
"Ah... good. You still live. I did not fail you," Osial gurgles. "Thank you... for helping me settle the score, my maker."
You tell him to hold on. You're sure there's something you can do to heal him. He lets out an amused huff.
"Your kindness is touching, but I know my end is coming. I can feel the Abyss."
You refuse. Osial is yours, damn it. Your friend. Your first Archon. Your protector.
A feeling wells up inside of you.
He will not die. You won't allow it.
Your eyes burn as tears stream down your face. You rest a hand against his scaly face, and ask him to trust you one more time.
"Of course. Always."
You let your power flow. The world erupts into starlight as a new constellation is born, sky adorned with a new pattern of stars: Serpens Fidelis.
The loyal serpent.
Where once laid your dying companion is now a male of mortal human size, who sits up, obviously quite discombobulated. He manages to find his feet, though repeatedly stumbles as he takes his first steps.
Scarred tan skin faintly reflects the moonlight, bathing him in an ethereal glow. Silver locks of hair with deep blue accents seem to drink in the moonlight.
He turns to you, finally, and grins, canine teeth closer to fangs than human, Cherenkov blue eyes glimmering with undeniable joy.
"Thank you, my maker. This new form is far less damaged."
From his right hip dangles a Hydro vision. The Anemo Gnosis is in your hands instead. It appears the cost for his life was you reclaiming the archonhood you bestowed upon him.
He is otherwise entirely nude and doesn't particularly seem to notice this. Maybe that's because he's never had to wear clothes before.
You kindly point this out to him, more than a little embarrassed on his behalf, your hands over Qiqi's eyes so she doesn't see.
Holy shit, was he always that built?
He grins at you, shooting you a salacious wink. "Yes, yes. Get an eyeful of my statuesque physique. I worked for many years on it."
You ask how he managed that as best you can while dying of embarrassment.
"You become quite proficient at lifting weights and swimming at the same time while trying to struggle free of stone javelins pinning you to the seafloor," he says mildly.
He manipulates the water and stormclouds into a set of luxurious robes. A sash at his waist now holds the Hydro vision.
On his back rests a fragment of the Jade Chamber carved into a massive greatsword.
"Shall we gloat over our dying adversary together, my maker?"
Yes, this sounds like a phenomenal idea.
You let Qiqi go, now that Osial is not running a one-hydra nudist colony, and she follows behind the two of you like a lost puppy.
Morax has returned to the form of Zhongli by the time you get to him.
The Vortex Vanquisher lies shattered at his side, and hundreds of rips and tears in his clothes display his grievous wounds.
Osial confidently struts over.
"Why hello, hated enemy mine~"
Zhongli weakly snarls up at him, and also at you, his fists curling feebly at his sides.
"Damn you both. May the Creator strike you both down into the depths of the Abyss."
Osial lets out a small 'snrk', begins to lowly chuckle, and slowly escalates to peals of howling, gleeful laughter. Zhongli just looks offended while Osial laughs himself nearly sick.
"By the maker, you have no idea who you're talking to right now, do you?" He wheezes, tears in his eyes, clutching at his sides.
"The destroyer of my people and an abomination wearing the skin of the Creator of All." Zhongli fires back, indignant. "Are you blind?"
"Go ahead and pray for our maker to save you. See what happens," Osial says, grinning cruelly.
Zhongli murmurs a prayer for protection from evil.
A faint glimmer of magical energy escapes his lips and swirls just above your hands. You cringe at it and wave it away like it's smoke.
Zhongli goes ghost-white, his eyes becoming impossibly wide.
"Creator?"
Tears bead at the corners of his eyes as his actions finally begin to play back in his mind.
"Please, my maker, forgive m-"
Osial cuts off his head.
"What an asshole," he snickers, some blood now on his cheek, a massive grin on his face. "I'm glad he's dead."
You just look at him like he's crazy. Which he probably is.
"Oooooooooohhhh, that's who you are." Qiqi says from behind you, having caught on to your true identity.
Another massive hydra erupts from the ocean in the distance and lets out a sound akin to whalesong.
"HI, HONEY!" Osial yells in her direction before immediately bolting towards her.
You let out a distressed sigh. Exactly what kind of mess have you just gotten into?
(Taglist:
@the-dumber-scaramouche @thatdeadaquarius @ssak-i @imyme20 @fried-lotud @acacla @itz-luna @iruiji @crierofirony @itsredactedlove @sweetsthetik @leafanonsforest @oxyotl @kkazuyass @featuredtofu @resident-cryptid @d4y-dr3am3r @crimson-ashes @red1sg0n3 @the-real-fandom-person @code-roevember @yourlocalsourwolf @rhoswen-drake @minimari415 @reversearrowhead @call-me-shroom @evqnescents @valeriele3 @mochicurls21 @sinnful-darling @fleshdotmp4 @ash1 @chilling-on-the-moon @fluffy-koalala @extremelytoastybread @euphoricaldemise
This should probably be all of you.))
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justinherbertobsessed · 2 months
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YOU’RE KIDDING!!! HE JUST LOOKS LIKE THAT IN THE WILD?!?!?
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mizukamiyaseiryu · 10 months
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the green + wind elemental type guys i see on my tl
(L->R: shen qingqiu, im sobyeong, shi qingxuan)
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