#processing spiral

[lunar-years]

Thinking about Haymitch's amazement at Ma's ability to push on after his father died; how she kept up doing her laundry while Haymitch could only sit in their house and cried. How he thinks about Wyatt several days after the bloodbath and specifically regrets that he hasn't had a chance to grieve Wyatt's death properly. How much it means to him when Mags sends him that ice cream after Maysilee dies, because it feels like the one moment he's had in the arena to truly just sit there in his grief without other expectations. It's okay to cry in front of Mags. How deeply it torments him that the caskets come back with him on the same train. and then how it...never stops. instead of finally getting the chance to grieve his lost friends properly when he gets home, he's only met with more loss. Ma and Sid. Lenore Dove. Cutting off everyone else in his life. And then it's just his angry ghosts and the caskets that come back with him on the train, every year hence.

...Until he and Katniss return to Twelve at the end of Mockingjay, he's never been given the opportunity of unfettered grief. He's never really processed everything that's happened to him. So when he can't check on Katniss for weeks (months?), and instead has to enlist Sae, it's not just that he's busy drinking again for the first time after being sober in 13, or even that he's grieving the more immediate deaths from the war and the destruction of their district. He's quite literally grieving on a backlog of 25 years. He's grieving all the way back to Wyatt Callow.

[thethoriumreactor]

Forgot to post this whoops

Part 2 of my TMAxHazbin au (tentatively named the Hazbin Archives for now) character info posts (part 1)

Genuinely proud of my design for Spiral!Angel

Additional character notes:

— Angel is a former mobster, then a part-time porn actor, now somewhat of a wandering Avatar who regularly visits Charlie’s rehabilitation centre. He likes to trick people, show them illusions of things that never were and never will be, that they desire deeply and want to escape desperately — he knows how to seduce men, how to confuse them, lead them into his waiting hands as they are lost irreversibly to everything they do not know or understand. He makes an effort to reduce the suffering he causes for Charlie’s sake — but messing around with people is so fun, don’t you see? At some point, somehow, the grumpy bartender who hangs around the rehab centre became his anchor.

— Charlie works at a cheap hotel, and runs a small rehab centre on the side. She looks for addicts, alcoholics and mentally ill people to bring them to her centre to help them — but why are they always so scared of her? She’s only trying to be nice, she’s not trying to harm them — just because she’s an Avatar doesn’t mean she wants to cause fear in others. Though it seems hopeless at times, she persists in her efforts to become a kind, philanthropist Avatar. Everyone has a good side to them — if only she can bring it out… Genuinely wants to be friends with everyone she comes across despite Vaggie and Lucifer’s best efforts — and the rejections she receives for being an apostle of Fear by nature.

— Vaggie helps Charlie with her rehabilitation efforts after leaving the Exorcists. Killing — massacring — enticing people to violence was always so easy — it was always her job, her role, her duty as a servant of her God — but she wants to be better now, she wants to try something better, to do something good — and Charlie is so, so good, and she cannot help her desire to follow another who isn’t her God. She wishes people would stop making a mess of the rehab centre — especially the annoying Spiral guy, who keeps creating doors and mazes and places-that-don’t-exist all over the centre. Would stab Alastor into oblivion if she didn’t value Charlie’s opinion so highly.

— Niffty is… probably the rehab centre’s maid. She craves the hunt, the pursuit of prey — the capture of a victim, their struggle and he end of their fight — the way they twitch like a bug when they’re caught, and whine like dogs when stabbed, and choke like frogs when they die— (Niffty is a bit… weird. Only Alastor really knows where she even came from. Most don’t bother even thinking about it.)

[valeriannnn]

thumb -> sketch -> final

[ishgard]

Without you, there ain't no place for me to hide Without you, there's no way I can sleep tonight What I'd do for a little bit of peace and quiet Without you, I keep slipping into bad dreams

[e-adlirez]

So KPop Demon Hunters

SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT:

I love them your honor <3

[bayetea]

sometimes you just open up the canvas and a steamy office worker au comes out

♡ my daily pjo art tag ♡

[rthwrms]

in the same vein, i've been really scared of drawing my ocs lately? like i'm afraid of messing up. when i draw a specific guy and its Not Looking Like That Guy, oh man-- that stuff kills me!!!!!! but bad art of nezahira & cyrus is still good art of nezahira & cyrus because its better than NO art of nezahira & cyrus (which is what i've been mostly doing!!! i dont have nearly as much art of them as i want!!!!)

[wispurring-moss]

i am so normal about him I Am So Normal About Him I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT HIM—!!!!!!;;;;;;;;;;;;;

[curseofdelos]

PLEASE ELABORATE ON THE PERCY & NICO FIC

So this is an AU I'm still playing around with, but the basic concept is that Nico starts living with Percy, Sally, and Paul post-botl, and it would largely focus on him developing a sibling-like relationship with Percy <3

I've only written little pieces of this one so far so not a lot to say as of yet, but here's a little snippet (for context: Nico is in a sleeping bag on Percy's bedroom floor):

“Do you even want me here?” he couldn’t help but ask.  Percy was quiet for so long that for a moment, Nico thought he had misjudged, but an answer came soon enough. “I don’t want you living on the streets by yourself.”  It wasn’t a no, but it wasn’t an enthusiastic yes either. Nico huffed, and rolled on his side to face away from Percy.  Behind him, Percy let out a heavy sigh, and Nico could hear the sound of his bedsheets ruffling as he moved. “It’s not safe out there for people like us, and since you don't feel welcome at camp, this was the best way I could help you.”  “I don't need your help!” Nico hissed, glaring at the wall as he curled up into a ball.  “I know you're perfectly capable of looking after yourself, but that doesn't mean you have to.”  Nico clenched his hands into fists so tight his fingernails dug into his palms.  “Look. I know you're not the biggest fan of me, but give my Mom and Paul a chance. They're good people. They'll take care of you, and if you don't want to do it for yourself… do it for Bianca,” Percy said softly, “she wouldn't want you suffering out there alone.”  Bringing up Bianca was a low blow, and Nico was sure Percy knew that from how carefully he had said her name, but as much as it hurt, he knew Percy was right.  Bianca would want him to be safe (and happy, but that was asking a lot of him right now). He would be safe here, even if normalcy felt impossible after the year he had.  Bianca trusted Percy, even when Nico didn't. Maybe it was time he trusted him too. 

EDIT: you can now read the finished fic here <3

[terresdebrume]

I keep going back and forth on the topic of where I fall on the allo/aro spectrum, partially because I kind of like. Don't wanna be aro (I'm already trans, queer and autistic with depressive tendencies, I don't need to add another thing to the list)

But another part of it is that even if I am capable of romantic love I probably just wouldn't know, because I already don't really know what platonic love feels like? And I'm not saying I can't love anything or anything like that it's just. Like many other emotions, I kind of have to retroingeneer it, sort of

I know I love my cats, not because I feel a surge of Something when I look at them, but because it makes me smile when they do something cute—my face knows what I'm feeling in those moments, I'm not sure I do. I know I love them because when Pouet died I cried every day for a month and I still cry sometimes, when I think about her. I know I love my cats because my brain keeps lighting up with fear signals when they're sleeping and I don't immediately see their chest move as they breathe.

I know what anxiety feels like, I know what anger feels like (when it explodes), I know what depression feels like because I dealt with them for so long I learned to recognize their physical symptoms! If these emotions didn't leave specific signals in my body then I'm not sure I'd know what they are.

And the thing is... I don't really like. Know what love or affection feels like, I think. Yes I can feel myself smile when I speak to certain people, but I also habitually smile at everybody because it makes things easier socially. I know I like people because if they ask me if I want to do an activity I either say yes or I have regrets about saying no.

My point is: I feel like I don't know my emotions so much as I know the buttons they push in my body, so to speak, but the problem about platonic/romantic love is that I can't imagine they make that different a shame, so who's to say which one it is?

It's funny, in a way, that I don't know something like that at my age. It's also really inconvenient, tbh. There's not really a reason for me to think about this rn except sometimes if I meet a cool dude whom I know is gay I wonder for a minute or two what a relationship with him would be like (which I'm going to assume is not that weird a thing to do) and the last time that happened led to, well. Ponderings about romance I guess

Anyway, the tl;Dr is that it took me decades to figure out the emotions I can recognize now, and I've largely approached social interactions with the inner spirit of a wet Chihuahua for most of that time, so how the fuck do I know if I can't identify those because I'm shit at self understanding or because I don't feel them???

Idk, it's complicated

(Tho honestly it would also be a little bit hilarious if after all this shit I landed on nah just aro. Not my preferred option right now but eh xD)

[ramshacklerumble]

.

[madcourtjester]

It’s so funny and so wild to me that the biggest argument I feel like you can make against the dual process Fnaf theory is just that Scott Cawthon isn’t that good of a writer 😭😭😭 like it’s narratively cohesive and you COULD ARGUE that is not something Scott cawthon would be able to pull off

[x-is-okay]

// A couple I don't think anyone would understand but like,, one crack headcanon later and I am stupidly attached to

//Also my first time drawing but Debbie and Tom, forgive me that I didn't do either any real justice. I'll figure 'em out next time!! Just ,, pretend this is them in like,, college? High school sweet hearts. IDK roll with it!!

[spookythesillyfella]

four unrecoverable hours down the drain ....

★ song : "Gehenna" – Nightcord at 25:00 cover

[v-arbellanaris]

im working on random chara pages and im going through maya's atm and i just remembered the trainwreck of maya 1.0 getting hatecrimed by mortum (WHO WAS ALSO TRANS?!) and then chen bc she's a closeted trans man. im screaming???

[kacievvbbbb]

I don't know I feel like even way back even when he was frightened by it Mihawk has always been so enamored with how much Shanks loves him and how much he expresses it. like not even just in his usual vanity ( even thought there is a lot of that) but theres also just a fascination with just how much Shanks loves him he is awed and confused by it and just completely enamored.