#for a lot of things
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#heavier than my usual venting#im living in a lot of fear right now#my entire family is undocumented-- if not in the process of becoming citizens#i'm afraid of my parents leaving the house and never coming back#i'm afraid i'll hear that a brother or a sister have been taken#i don't even know if i'll be able to keep my birthright citizenship#we are not white passing-- most of my family can barely speak english#we live in one of the biggest sanctuary cities in the fucking country and now that's not a source of security anymore#i am in so much fear#it borders on paralyzing and i know that does nothing to help#i'm already quiet when it comes to chatting and while i am trying to push through it#doom scrolling and just allowing myself to spiral into despair isn't going to help anyone#but im working with possibly even less spoons than i already do#i want to keep creating and working on stuff since its the few things that give me joy#but its been hard to get out of this headspace#i don't plan on self-isolating or anything like that but i can already feel myself shifting into a strange sense of apathy#for a lot of things#i don't like that#it's awful#i don't want to drown in this#please be patient with me
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Please either let this work day go by quickly or let me go home early 🙏
#🩸.txt#only way i get to go home early is if 2 certain supervisors are here#but i dont know who works when#im feeling major burn out already like.#for a lot of things#and it sucks.
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We saw this movie three days ago.
I'm so proud of him.
#To be fair he is a veteran#The deprogramming has gotta happen somehow#He also needs help#like clinical psychological help#for a lot of things#so i can see how that might be a hard message for him to grasp initially#but still#its silly#teehee#justderpin'around
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Me: *shows kid1 a picture of Kate Stewart* Would it be ok if she was your new mommy?
Wife: Hello, sitting right here?
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slow down for your disabled friends. thats like a bare minimum kindness that we shouldnt have to ask for. i love that youre so quirky and walking fast is a cool personality trait to you and all that but i bet you can count your physically disabled friends on less than one hand
#in a perfect world the move im gay meme would be about being fat or having a mobility aid and people just standing in your way in public#my bemoanings#debated posting this but itd be nice to have some solidarity where my mobility aid users at who have not a lot of good outside friends#also if youre a friend of mine who is worried that you might be the person in the comic im gonna be real#MULTIPLE ppl have said this exact thing to me and id rather you just slow down next time. dont come to me asking for forgiveness or smth#also straight up the person in this comic i havent seen for years because they were mean to me anyways
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i know it's hard. but i so firmly believe the strongest antidote to loneliness is reaching out first. and continuing to reach out. again and again and again. excise any scrap of shame you hold about being the person who texts first or pitches the plan or asks to get lunch. everyone is tired and busy and struggling. and afraid of feeling unwanted and unimportant. don't let the people you love feel that way. reach out first. don't be a ghost in your own life.
#been having a lot of conversations about this lately.#the trick to overcoming a fear of wanting anything is to make the things that you want happen.
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Not “Only my reading of canon is correct” or “Interpretations are subjective and all valid” but a secret third thing, “More than one interpretation can be valid but there’s a reason your English teacher had you cite quotes and examples in your papers, you have to have a strong argument that your interpretation is actually supported by the text or it is just wrong and I’m fine with telling you it’s wrong, actually.”
#fandom#media literacy#like not to be shitty but. a lot of the kinds of things analyzed to death in fandom are not complicated#enough to lend themselves to really different readings in a rich way lol#we’re not talking about vertigo here just pew pew space movies and cartoons and superheroes#things that are typically more direct in what they have to say#so many smart ppl in the Star Wars fandom are too nice about this tbh#‘just my opinion though’ no babe it’s the only well defended take I’ve seen and u should own it!
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People will claim to be a fan of some thing and then hate all of the themes and motifs and story lines and plot lines and protagonists and antagonists like man I don’t think that you actually like it here
#this is about a lot of IWTV show fans but it applies to most fandoms actually#hating is one thing. hating is fine. good even. sometimes. but yall just seem Miserable.
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There's something hilarious about how so much subsequent media has positioned Vampires and Werewolves as, like, binary opposite entities, and then you read Dracula (1897) and realize that wolves are that guy's preferred solution to every problem. You'd say something to Dracula about "ah yes, werewolves, vampires' great eternal enemies," and he'd just be like "you mean my subcontractors?"
#Dracula#Dracula Daily#(listen I know there was significantly more overlap between the two in a lot of folkloric antecedents)#(but it's STILL funny reading from this end of things)
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(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)
#polls#tumblr polls#For me I think the top ones would be the House. The Money. or the Friend Group. But I ultimately might would go for the house#JUST becuase it would be my Dream House which means it would already meet mostly all of my specifications#and what I might be looking for. which would save a lot of time searching or customizing/rennovating.#Also because I could use that as a way to leave the US lol.. like .. if I get to choose my dream location.. couldnt I just choose some othe#country?? But I wonder how that works. Can you legally 100% have full ownership of a property in a country yet not be a citizen of that#country?? Would you show up and be like 'erm.. i own this house.. so i shall now live in it' and theyd be like 'uh no. you cant live here#despite owning the house. leave.' ??#So I think the initial process of 1. scraping together funds to actually MOVE myself and my most valuable belongings physically#TO another country. and 2. figuring out how to STAY in that country . might end up being difficult.. BUT. if I could just work that#part of things out then.. dream house?? security for once in my life?? stability?? :0#Though the $1mil is enticing it's also like.. I feel .. with the way housing prices are now... that's not much???#it's a lot I guess if you plan on like.. investing half the money and staying in an apartment for 5 years while you grow your wealth#or something. but if you're a 'I Need Stability NOW' ready to settle down person who would be most interested in owning a property rather#than nice clothes or a car or whatever other investments you could make then.. eh..?? It seems like unless you're okay with living in#a small town or kind of far away from the city - even some SMALL houses in majorly populated areas in the US will be like#$600.000 - $900.000 or something. like that would be MOST of my money. Which I know you could just pay partially and make#payments on it but idk.. in the option of just outright owning the house it seems like it'd end up being cheaper.#Plus I would want to own it fully asap because I'd be afraid of losing it somehow otherwise. like it being taken for medical bills or#something. which I thought was supposed to be - not IMPOSSIBLE - slightly more complicated legally if you actually have#paid off the house in full. I guess the issue then would be utilities and property tax and such. But I feel like thats overcome-able??#Like I could just stipulate that my Dream House has a little furnished addition or something and then find someone#with money and be like 'Look you can live in this extremely nice area with amazing ameneties and updated everything and ALL you have#to do is give me money to cover the utilities and property tax.'' or something like that. Like the little furnished addition is nicer#than the actual house. they have their own pool and spa and movie room or something and Ill also cook all their meals for them#or whatever (how luxurious it would be depeneds on how high the property tax actually is/how much I would need to entice them into#why it's a good deal for them to pay it for me lol). idk... something like that.. ANYWAY#I asked a few people I know though and one of them answered they'd rather have a romantic partner. the other one said they'd like#to be able to choose someone to die lol.. So I'm curious what people value the most
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I was made to love you, and yet,
Inspired by this observation by a friend:
#andraws#bird#birds#pigeon#pigeons#columbidae#ok tags done time to yap#(first up this isn't a vent#I'm a ok! Even if it made me feel things drawing it#I just feel strongly about pigeons + how we domesticated them#thousands of years of domestication just to be demonized and thrown out#anyways I love angel themes & pigeons so this was a no brainer to draw#and it was a lot of fun heheh#it's also really funny how a lot of my favourite pieces on here are birds in yellow crying#anyways be nice to pigeons! That's it)#bird tag
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It's always so weird to come down from the biology heavens to see what the average person believes about animals, plants, ecosystems, just the world around them. I don't even mean things that one simply doesn't know because they've never been told or things that are confusing, I'm talking about people who genuinely do not see insects as animals. What are you saying. Every time I see a crawling or fluttering little guy I know that little guy has motivations and drive to fulfill those motivations. There are gears turning in their head! They are perceiving this world and they are drawing conclusions, they are conscious. And yet it's still a whole thing if various bugs of the world feel pain or if they are simply Instinct Machines that are Not Truly Aware of Anything At All????? Help!!!!!! How can you look at a little guy and think he is just the macroscopic animal version of a virus
#yesterday i made a complainy post about a whale edit having people confused about whale sharks and orcas' dolphin and whale identity#but honestly i cant even hold these things against someone. its confusing that whale sharks are called with two different animal names!#and if you only know about the whale dolphin porpoise divide then you may not know that dolphins and porpoises and others are toothed whale#i dont think anyone is actually stupid for not having this information preinstalled in their brains#if anything it makes me happy to get to explain things because i love explaining things that i know :D#however... this#it just makes me sad :(#its so weird when this whole thing is subjected towards OTHER VERTEBRATES too like fish or reptiles or amphibians#like man.... you are a fish. your ancestors were buddy buddy (or actually probably enemy enemy) with the ancestors of these guys#fish are like a whole other class of animal to a lot of people dont even get me started#they never get the same protections as mammals or birds do even if they are just as or more endangered#mmmmm i wont rant now#biology
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in a big Waiting period of my life rn
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and obviously you find yourself thinking oh i do wish i could get severed to do this one thing. would you actually maybe not. but you do wish you didn't have to undergo medical procedures you do wish you didn't have to do the things that give you anxiety you do wish you didn't have to do tedious tasks that barely even require you to be present for them. it's tempting. that's why the premise works. but the premise is also that somebody has to do it. somebody has to go to the dentist and somebody has to get on that plane and somebody has to write those thank you notes. just like somebody has to clean the house and somebody has to harvest the food you eat and somebody has to make the clothes you wear. you can't eliminate inconvenience you can only delegate it. you can't eliminate suffering you can only delegate it. and always the easiest way to live with this is to see that somebody as less than. less than you less than people. and if that somebody has to wear your body to do it well maybe it's not all that different. they're not a person. you are. it's capitalism all the way down baby
#sorrrryyyy i can't stop thinking about this#i was writing a thing that i allegedly do for fun#and i found myself wishing that somebody else would write the sequences that i find uninspiring but are necessary to the story#like that's an easy thing to want. would you create a person to do that and only that is the question#and like. maybe not for your stupid hobby but a lot of people just aren't too many steps removed from being okay with it#the groundwork is there it's capitalism baby!!!!!!#severance#severance spoilers
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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