#project catharsis

[projectcatharsis]

Forest Fire 12/06/2010

I’ve always wanted to start a forest fire,

So then maybe I’d be able to feel something,

If anything…,

Because being with you takes everything from me.

So burn forest,

Burn.

Crackle,

Pop,

And burn.

So that I may feel again.

[sunlit-haruka]

I'm going to sound like such a smartass but I'm glad I'm seeing more people express that "Huh, maybe this girl who has an entire song repeating to herself over and over again that her murder was not her fault meanwhile she-

portrays herself as a giant grotesque bug in her headspace with her victim, who she clearly still holds a high opinion of, being the only human in said headspace looking at her with visible disgust and fear,

Making this expression upon realizing what she just did

These being the lyrics that follow right after, having a moment of reconsideration

Before jumping back to trying to convince herself that she was in the right, because she put her trust in us to tell her if what she did was right or not, and the answer that came out was yes... That maybe, just maybe. She thinks that what she did...

Might have been her fault."

[demodraws0606]

Basically the Backlight Rui event experience

[roobylavender]

obv the movie is titled zoey 102 but the most annoying thing about it was that we didn't even really get to see quinn and logan in their relationship. like the focus was almost always on their conflicts with regards to the marriage but the first real moment between them where it wasn't about that conflict was when they had their first dance and quinn teased him about the oyster shuckers. and it was such a small moment but i loved it and i want more insight into their daily life and the everyday teasing and uplifting and idk like again obv the title is zoey 102 but i don't think most people would disagree that it fully being a movie about quinn and logan would have been so much better. like the zoey and chase plot took up so much unnecessary space and their sudden bout of closure didn't even make sense bc they had one conversation prior to it after over a decade of mutual non-communication so why was any of this more important than quinn and logan. esp logan tbh. like quinn kind of had the liberty of a few moments to herself where she expressed her worldview in her own way but logan had close to none up until the proposal and yes i do love that he's quinn's number one supporter but i also wanted to know what that was like outside of the context of the wedding if that makes sense. like how he exists in their day to day relationship. there were glimpses of that in the final wedding sequence but i wanted so much more and i know the idea of a spin-off is so delusional at this point but the cast do apparently want to do it and i for one would love an exclusively quinn and logan spin-off where zoey and chase can be side characters ig 🙄 so.. why not!

[hubbleablubble]

Poor Ven'axtha got put in like. The one place in the forgotten realms where gender bullshit isn't allowed.

[ratnukegenius]

[ ID: a fullbody drawing of a character holding a large scythe in both hands and smiling. they have long, fluffy brown hair in a braid, with the end dyed green. their eyes are golden with dark gray rims, the gold being the same color as the background. they have pale skin and freckles, and a long nose. they're wearing a green jacket over a striped lighter green shirt, light blue jeans, and golden sneakers the same color as the background. they're casting a shadow, and above their head is a dark, spiked halo. the whole piece has a grainy texture to it. end ID. ]

throwing them around in my enclosure 🤗💚

[seek--rest]

Ok hear me out but, the original May from the comics, the gray haired old lady. I think that’s the May they are talking about being homophobic. Especially how she was always so fearful about “bad men” on the streets. And how she whole heartedly believed all the lies that Jameson printed in the daily bugle about the “masked vigilante”. I just can’t see someone from her generation being open minded.

Even if that were true— cause idk the post and frankly don’t care to— 1) the probability of anyone creating a headcanon post on tumblr dot com being about the comics iteration of anyone rather than the very likely, highly probable even just from anecdotal experience much less statistically that it was about the MCU versions is very slim and 2)

May Parker, old as shit and still canonical ally, so I simply must disagree.

I’ve said before and I’ll say again, the concept of irondad in the MCU is so much more interesting than it ended up being. To be clear— MCU Peter Parker’s story should’ve never been tied up with Tony’s: he’s fucking Spider-Man. He should be the center of his own universe and not a moon in Tony Stark’s orbit.

However the Potential for an interesting dynamic was there. It’s too bad that fandom decided to make it as cliche, boring, regressive and insufferably benign as it did.

[clerichs-xi]

tender as a bruise, sharper than a razor wrap her tentacles around me like she'll never let me go

klaus' backstory arc just ended heho and it was revealed he used to be the lover of the goddess of storms and pirates... she had basically kidnapped him and imprisoned him into murder and piracy for 20 years and needless to say it greatly damaged him on every level <3 its okay he's been able to be normal for once since the start of the campaign thanks to the party aka his new found family

get urself a surrogate middle-aged father who can speedrun a forbidden romance in one minute and then immediately go to confront the darkest version/a corrupted version of himself, as well as his toxic lover as she tortures him -w-)b

details and just the lines hehe

[exnusquam]

Ooc.; u ever just randomly get the urge to bite people

[rawliverandgoronspice]

I think I have the full outline for Thralls. ;;

[gaiuskamilah]

Tell about your hcs for gaius and adrain’s relationship, and gaius and kamilah’s relationship

anon i just have to say your timing is insane. i saw this as i was thinking abt how i have so many things to say about gaiusadrian but if i said them i would be kicking a hornets nest. i feel like i will become this garfield strip if i actually open my mouth

BUT ANYWAYS. i actually suck ass at making hcs! i feel like i cant do elaborate aus or drastic character additions as some people can..but i do have a few (cw for slight nsfw, manipulation, typical stuff):

gaius had fought alongside adrian in the american revolutionary war but adrian doesn't know; gaius was providing extra support to the colonists and adrian was in the same battalion/etc. as him. that's where adrian first caught gaius' attention.

i've been playing around with the idea that gaius intentionally set up the loyalist soldier to kill eleanor, charles, and adrian so that he had a reason to sweep in and Turn adrian and manipulate adrian even more to be dependent on him.

gaius was adrian's first kiss and fuck with a man. not getting super into details but lets just say gaius knows how to dominate from below.

as for kamilah.. i have a post-bb3 au where gaius, after sometime playing monster hunter finds that his true calling is helping younger vampires build community (similar to jax - he and jax are still as hostile as ever but he has a lot of respect for jax and all he's done for vampires). in the middle of like wyoming or whatever he helps around a local vampire community, eventually becoming a permanent fixture in it. cue bumping into kamilah at a bakery or something and the two of them eventually reconnecting. i've written a bit for it so here's a part i like lol

she's only ever visited him in the sarcophagus twice - once when she was desperate and legitimately thought to bring him back and in the second she just stared at the tomb for hours in a daze. both times she goes back home in tears and depressed. those were Really Bad days.

aand i feel like thats its for my hcs and whatnot for them. with these two dynamics i feel like i work better analyzing what's already in canon than making big elaborate aus and hcs for it, and if i do it's just additions to what's kind of already been established? im very lame 😭 my current analyses for them is that theyre lowkey incestuous (esp gaius/adrian) and that adrian/kamilah/gaius and gaius/rheya are lolita nabokov but again. i feel like the locusts will come.

TYSM FOR ASKINGGG this was fun and gave me an excuse to share a bit of that g/k writing which i like a lot ^^

[projectcatharsis]

The poison is deeply rooted in my soul. I can’t get rid of it. It pulses and flows through my blood as easy as it does through any normal man’s veins. Maybe a transfusion could fix this anomaly and make me better. Knowing my luck, it will leave nothing but a bloated corpse unable to wake. No—its better I should continue this way. Knowing, I’m the problem. Life is much easier when you realize you’re the villain.

[karamell-sweetz]

//cw blood (its weirdly coloured but its blood)

overthinking

[milfygerard]

i feel weird bc this frank resell thing didnt phase me in the least. Guy has too much shit, I get it. Sometimes you(re wife makes you) clear house a bit.

[kaeyapilled]

going to give kaveh the biggest honor i can possibly give him. let him be associated with a song that means a lot to me emotionally

[snow-system-wol]

Late at night, after the Sharlayan Envoy and the battle at Carteneau, Alphinaud knocks on S'ria's door looking to talk -- or at least to not be alone.

(In which a boy who once idolized his father realizes that he hates the idea of ending up like him.)

Ao3

S'ria jolted out of sleep, briefly unsure why he was awake until he heard a couple more timid knocks at his door. He immediately scrambled out of bed. There were really only a few people it could be, and anyone trying to hurt him that got this far into the building would've just broken in.

Alphinaud was already turning to walk away when S'ria managed to get the door open. His was dressed down as if meant to sleep, hair loose and far longer than S'ria would've guessed it'd be unbraided, but he didn't look as though he'd even bothered getting into bed. He took a long look at S'ria's own disheveled state, drawing in on himself.

"Pray forgive me, I had hoped you would not have retired to bed yet, but given the events of the day I should hardly be surprised. I shan't keep you."

It did not take more than a moment for S'ria to feel Menphina's presence layer strongly over his own, not with one in need of kindness right in front of them.

"Alphinaud, please, I'm already awake. Come in."

He followed S'ria into his room, nearly tripping over his feet. Ah, he'd nearly forgotten. While Seekers only had adequate night sight compared to Keepers, S'ria was sure that Alphinaud could probably see nothing at all. He hastily lit a candle at his desk and a faint warm glow covered part of his room. Surely that would be enough for Alphinaud to navigate safely at least? Besides – he never seemed to like people looking at his face too closely while he was feeling vulnerable, so the near-darkness was probably a comfort.

Alphinaud sat down next to S'ria on the bed, uncharacteristically quiet. He only grew more uncomfortable as the silence dragged on.

"It seems a bit trivial to remain focused on mere family matters after our trials at Carteneau and yet, here I am. I – simply wished to not be alone, and Alisaie is… handling this in her own way, and may not want my company for that. You need not humor me."

"This isn't humoring you. You've had a rough day, you can stay as long as you need."

Alphinaud looked at him, unimpressed. "And what of your need for rest? You must needs be exhausted."

"I don't intend to neglect that. By all means, you can sleep here, if you'd like."

Even in the low light, he could see the affronted look on Alphinaud's face. 

"I am not a child."

S'ria raised his hands placatingly. "I know that. However – I got so used to Ardbert being there when I slept, or when I woke up from nightmares, that I had trouble sleeping alone for months. If you actually wanted to stay here, it'd hardly reflect on your age. That's all."

"I… I see." He looked conflicted, but not particularly convinced. "My reaction was, mayhap, unwarranted."

"Oh, don't worry about that – no need to do anything you're uncomfortable with either. I just wanted you to know that the option is there."

They lapsed into silence again for a long time. S'ria tiredly watched the candlelight flicker and wondered if he was actually going to fall asleep before Alphinaud left. He stayed upright in determination, rather than letting himself lie down.

"I-I." He pointedly cleared his throat. "I knew from the start that Father–". Alphinaud winced and briefly trailed off, as if unsure he was allowed to say that anymore. " –That he was never going to say yes. Or rather, that Sharlayan would always have refused to help. I had hoped, when he came in person, but deep down I still knew."

S'ria waited patiently. (Menphina, at the edges of his thoughts, did as well. Even if she did not need to step in, she could still help.)

"I simply did not expect him to go quite so far as to publicly expel us from the family. I cannot help but feel like an idiot for thinking he wouldn't, I know how he is – if we so much as questioned any little matter with him, he would always get so…" Alphinaud let the sentence trail off into silence. "I had just held out hope that with the fate of this star in the balance, it would be different, but I should have understood the consequences of my words." 

Alphinaud pulled his feet onto the bed so that he could wrap his arms around his legs. 

" 'Tis horrible, mayhap, but… I had actually hoped that, when he personally chose to act as the envoy – that there was the slightest chance he would be proud of the important things that Alisaie and I have managed to accomplish with all of you, proud of us even. I-I should have known he would abhor us trying to grow into our own. I wonder…". He seemed hesitant to finish the thought. "I wonder if that was the reasoning behind his choice to grace us with his physical presence – if he always meant to test our obedience."

He looked at S'ria, as if that was a question anyone could possibly answer. S'ria cautiously spoke up, answering a somewhat different question than the actual one posed.

"Neither you nor Alisaie did anything wrong."

Alphinaud laughed humorlessly. "The strangest part is that I know that. 'Tis a testament to his fears – I do not regret speaking my mind, nor do I feel any shame for having done so. 'Twas the right thing to do."

S'ria hummed softly and shifted closer to Alphinaud, pressing their shoulders together. Alphinaud immediately leaned into the contact.

"When he said that he was wrong for ever having let us leave Sharlayan – 'twas the only part of his barbs that truly struck me. All I could think of was my life if I had been forbidden to leave, the type of person I may have become… in all of the time since, I'd nearly forgotten how terrifying it was to speak with him. The idea that I could end up like him, if I had remained there long enough – once I would have been thrilled, but the very idea is appalling to me now."

Alphinaud's breath hitched. He ducked his head and let his hair form a curtain around his face. "The sheer relief I feel for my younger self is indescribable, understanding now how easily he may have refused." While S'ria could not see his face, his shoulders were starting to shake and there was very little doubt on whether he was crying. "But, if those are my feelings on this matter, then w-why do I still care what his opinion of me is? Why does this still hurt?"

S'ria wrapped his arms around Alphinaud, rumbling soothingly, even as it was broken up by him talking. "He's made you fight to get his approval your whole life – it'll take time to unlearn that. It's not your fault. And… he may not be proud of you, but we are. We all are."

Rather than responding out loud, he just turned towards S'ria, and let himself be pulled into an actual hug. Alphinaud shook with near silent sobs and S'ria, for all of his gentle handling of the situation, needed to remind himself that harming Fourchenault Leveilleur was likely not a viable option.

Between becoming entirely cried out and the continued soft purring from S'ria, Alphinaud did fall asleep exactly where he was. S'ria simply extricated himself from his hold and curled up on the other side of his bed. Really – this bed was large enough for three, one extra teenager was hardly an inconvenience.