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cass-windfeild · 8 months ago

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Star stable Creepypasta: Staring Horse

At last, my sso creepypasta is complete! Sorry it took a while, work and Halloween preparation got in the way. But, as promised, it is ready for Halloween!

As stated before, this isnt going to be anything spectacular. Ive never written anything horror related before, and while I tried to do my own thing, I was mostly inspired by creepypastas like Ben Drowned, Sonic.exe, and lot of WildCraft creepypastas Ive been listening to. Its also mostly just a very edited first draft. This was more or less a test of my skills.

As a warning, there is no gore or blood in this, however there is a description of a pretty messed up horse model that may or may not be considered body horror, as well as mentions of a possible mental break? Not 100% sure, but I want to cover my bases.

Without further adieu, enjoy.

And Happy Halloween!

I've never really been obsessed with video games.

That's not to say I don't like them, or even that I don't play them. I game quite a bit in my free time, from action packed first person shooters, to emotional story driven games, even relaxing farming and life simulators. I've always tried to be open to all kinds of games. However, the issue is I never seem to stay interested. I tend to hyperfocus on specific games for weeks, even months at a time, and then, eventually, I just put it down one day, and don't come back. I just tend to lose interest, be it in the story, the mechanics, the characters. I just get bored and move on to new things.

Except for one game.

Star Stable Online. An open world MMORPG horse game where you can create a character, buy horses of varying breeds, coat colours, and patterns, train your horses in races or a variety of other disciplines, talk with friends, join clubs, dress up your character and horses, and complete story quests to save the world and learn about the island. Everything an equine crazed individual like myself could ask for in a horse game. Out of all the games I played in my life, Star Stable was the one that seemed to have a constant grip on my psyche.

It started out as just a way to finally unleash my love of horses, an obsession that had started as a child and only increased in my late teens, without shame or judgement. But over time, it became so much more. It became my comfort. My way to cope with all trials and tribulations of everyday life. No matter how mentally straining school was, how exhausting work was, or how bad my mental state was at any given time, so long as I had wifi, my laptop, and the will to stay awake into the dead of night, I had my escape. I could let my mind wander to a world where I wasn't alone or stressed. Where there was no homework that made me feel like I was going insane, no entitled or argumentative customers, no overbearing managers. Just me and my horses exploring the island of Jorvik, saving the world from evil organisations and dark magic, and living peacefully, knowing the real world couldn't hurt us here.

At least, until recently.

In the game, there are certain areas of the game that are closed off, having both invisible and physical walls around them to prevent players from getting in. They're either areas that aren't done yet, or ones that just never ended up opening up. Not that that stopped anyone though. If there's any area people know they're not supposed to go, they're gonna do everything in their power to get there. This is usually done through knowing the layout of the land, knowing what steps to take, and, often, getting a bit creative. There's countless tutorials online of how to get into closed off areas. Some are no longer working due to patches in the game, but finding one that still works is never too difficult. On days when there are no quests or special events, and training starts to feel repetitive, I've taken to testing these glitches and seeing just how efficient they are. I've glitched into Ashland, Devils Gap, Marchengast Castle, Cape Point, the typical areas that seem of interest to players. I even started trying the techniques in other areas to see if I could glitch myself somewhere no one had seen yet, though my efforts have so far seemed to be in vain.

Late one night, I was attempting to glitch into Mystic valley, like I had before, in hopes of getting some nice photos. I jumped out of the Secret Stone Circle and fell into the purple haze as usual, when I heard a familiar whinny, followed by a black screen with the text “Your horse was badly hurt.”. Great. I must've messed something up, I figured.I waited for my screen to return, expecting I'd be transported back to my home stable and have to start the glitch all over again. But to my surprise, when it did, I was in the Mystic Valley, as though I'd successfully made the fall, only, the area was now covered in a thick fog, like when you entered the Mirror Marshes.

I suspected that it was a glitch, or maybe the area had been updated. Hoping to find something new, I rode around a bit, checking all the edges and open space of the area. But after around 15 minutes running around and bumping into invisible walls, I still found that everything seemed normal. Just the same old rolling hills, sparsely placed bushes and trees, and occasional unfinished textures. After a while, I grew bored, and just started looking for some nice photo spots instead. But as I rode past an indented area in the mountain, I saw something I hadn't before. Something white amongst the trees and shrubs that was just barely visible through the fog. A horse. A grey horse with a black mane, standing perfectly still near the base of the mountain.

I had seen plenty of unused or work in progress models hidden in supposedly unreachable areas to keep them out of sight from players, and although I'd never seen one in Mystic Valley before, that's what I suspected it was. Possibly a new NPC horse or even an unreleased breed or colour the developers had been testing. I tried to get closer to see it better, but was blocked by an invisible wall that hadn't been there the last time I visited. Of course, they had to block off the most interesting thing in the area. I tried a few times to pass the wall, but no matter the angle or area, my horse halted and reared in refusal. I was giving up hope of getting any closer, so I resorted to just taking a photo and zooming in as much as possible. I got off my horse in the slim hope that I could get a little closer for a better angle. Only, this time, the wall didn't stop me. My horse couldn't pass, but I could walk on foot as close as I wanted. It was odd, but I wasnt about to question it.

I started approaching, but the closer I got, the more I realised how odd this horse looked. It didn't look like any breed of horse in the game, or like any breed I knew of. Everything looked… wrong. Like a bunch of different horses merged into one. Its legs were thin and long like a saddlebred, but its body was thick and wide like an ardennes or Jorvik wild horse. Its neck looked like that of the friesian, but it was bent down at an odd angle, like its head was being forcefully pulled against its chest. Its long, dark mane looked twisted and tangled, like a longer version of the mustangs. But what was the most disturbing was its face. It looked like it meant to be shaped like an Arabian, but the eyes were all… wrong. They were angled far more forward than they should have been, placing them more on the front of the face than more to the sides. Not only that, but the eyes themselves looked inverted, making it appear as though there were instead two hollowed out sockets in their place. Even the shading made it seem as though that was the original intent. Everything about this horse was downright creepy. Why the hell would SSE make something like this?

I decided to take a picture and see if anyone online knew anything about this eerie horse or if they had any idea why it looked like this. I pressed the photo button, but the second I entered photo mode, the horse vanished as though it wasn't even there. Was SSO so determined to hide this thing that they even hid it from the photo mode?

Not wanting to leave without evidence of this thing, I resorted to screenshots, taking a few photos before clicking out of the game to check the folder. But when I did, what I saw made no sense. In every screenshot I took, I saw my character, the area, the fog, even my own horse in some shots… but not the NPC horse. How was that even possible? The screenshots weren't in game, they should have just captured what was on the screen. I clicked back to the game to try again, but completely froze.

The horse had moved. It's neck twisted at a harsh angle, as though it had been broken in half. Its previously hollow indents of eyes now had two small pinpricks of light at their centre, barely big enough to make out. And with those tiny dots that made up its eyes, it started.

It started at me.

Not my character.

Me.

Have you ever had someone stare at you so intensely that, even if you had your back to them, you could feel it? Like an almost primal instinct kicks in to warn you that there's danger and to prepare to defend yourself. The moment you notice, you get this split second where your body freezes up, and everything around you goes numb except for that feeling of a pair of eyes. That's what I felt when I saw that things eyes staring back into mine through my computer screen. Those hollow eyes felt as though it was staring straight through to my very soul, making my blood run cold. I wanted to move, to scream, to do anything, but I felt frozen in place, as though that things cold, unblinking stare had me trapped. As I stared, I began to hear the faintest sound in the back of my mind. Almost like a raspy, gargled breathing. The longer it stared, the louder the sound got, slowly becoming the only thing I could hear. As though, even without moving, it was drawing closer.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, I managed to snap out of my frozen state, quickly slamming my laptop shut, not even caring in the moment if it broke. The second I did, everything stopped, and I found myself gasping for air despite not even realising I had been holding my breath. My eyes flickered around the room, instinctually looking around the room for danger. After a few minutes, I managed to calm myself down a bit. My body trembled as I became drenched in a cold sweat, and questions ran through my mind faster than I could even process any kind of answer.

What the fuck was all that? Why did it feel like that thing was actually staring at me? Like it was actually in my room? What was that messed up breathing sound? Why was that disturbing thing in a game targeted at kids? What the hell was going on? The questions, as well as the lingering adrenaline and paranoia of what just happened, kept me up the rest of the night. My eyes cautiously scanned the darkness, as though that thing would creep around the corner at any moment, until sunlight finally poured in the windows of my room.

I went about my day in an exhausted haze, still mulling over what happened as I tried to find a logical answer. I just couldn't stop thinking about it. Was it a glitched horse model? Or a new scare tactic to keep people from glitching into areas they weren't supposed to, like the old anti-pirating screens of old video games? Maybe even an early model of a new Halloween horse? But why was I so freaked out by it? It was just a pixelated horse in a video game, but when it stared at me, it felt so terrifyingly real, like it would crawl out of the screen or even like it was already in the room with me. Maybe I was just tired from staying up late so often, and I was starting to become paranoid because of it?

The more I thought it over, the more I managed to convince myself. Of course it wasn't staring at me. It was probably just a glitch. Just a bunch of pixels on a screen. It wasn't real. Hell, maybe it wasn't even as scary looking as I thought. My brain was probably just experiencing hallucinations from lack of sleep. That had to be it, right?

Besides, even if that thing was real and as scary as I thought, I wasn't going to let it stop me from playing my favourite game.

That night, after I had dinner and finished my homework, I turned on my computer (which, thankfully, was not broken from the rough treatment last night), and logged on to Star stable again. As I waited for the site to load, I couldn't help but wonder. What if it was real? What if I loaded into Mystic Valley again, and that thing was still there? What if I froze up again? I pushed the feeling away. I had already left the lights on to ease this ridiculous fear, I wasn't backing down. It was just a stupid creepy horse in a video game. It was fake. I was safe. The game opened with the familiar welcoming ring, and I was thankful to see I was back in front of my home stable, and there was no glitched NPC horse anywhere to be seen. I sighed in relief. It was all just in my mind.

I spent the next few hours training my lower level horse, completing race after race as I made my way across the map like always. I even competed in a few championships, despite being one of the only people online at that time of night. However, I couldn't shake this eerie feeling. Everything was normal, but I kept feeling as though I wasn't alone. Like there was always someone or something watching me from just out of my line of sight, and whenever I looked around, it would disappear. I tried to ignore it, telling myself it was my imagination or that I was still just anxious from everything.

At around 4 am, I had finished all the races and decided to call it a night. I called for pickup, and went to enter my stable. But after a few seconds of loading, I noticed something. There was no image of Maya walking through the stable to take care of the horses. Just a pitch black screen with no text. At first, I thought my computer had frozen, and I begrudgingly waited for the “Star Stable.EXE has stopped working” pop up. But, after a minute or so, the loading finished, and I was standing inside the stable. Only, my horse was gone. All of my horses were gone. Was my game crashing? I looked around briefly before clicking the stable button to see where my horse went.

What I saw made my breath catch in my throat. In place of every icon that was meant to be one of my horses was instead replaced by that same, deformed face of that horse, staring back at me with those dark, soulless eyes. And where my horses names should have been, was instead my name. My real name.

How was that even possible? I never used my real name anywhere on star stable, or anywhere online for that matter. I exited the stable menu, and there it was. That mangled, horrifying thing standing in the stable aisle staring at me. I felt my body tense, but I refused to let that thing trap me again. It's not real, I told myself. It's a glitch. That's all.

I pressed the exit button to quit the game, but nothing happened. I kept pressing, but no menu appeared. I started to panic as I heard the distorted breathing begin again, and as it did, I watched in horror as the horse's jaw slowly unhinged, stretching down towards the ground, revealing a set of sharp, fang-like teeth that lined its jaw. I felt its eyes burn into me, like a predator sizing up its prey before going for its throat. This wasn't in my head. This wasn't just a glitch. Whatever this thing was, it was real, it was sentient, and it wanted me. I kept clicking every button I could think of to get the game to close, but still, nothing worked. Even when I finally had enough and slammed my laptop closed again, I could still hear those tortured breaths getting louder and louder in my head. I covered my ears and closed my eyes, begging it to stop, to just go away, but still it persisted till I couldn't even hear my own panicked heartbeat over it.

I was about to scream out of pure fear and desperation when all of a sudden, it stopped. Just as quickly as the breathing had begun, it stopped, leaving me in the silence of my room. I sat motionless for a few moments before slowly opened my eyes, tears threatening to fall as I looked frantically around the room for any sign of danger, but all I saw was my lit bedroom and my computer all but tossed off my lap, teetering near the edge of the bed.

Was it over? Was that thing gone? I sat as still as possible for the longest time, as though waiting for something, anything to happen, but still, nothing. After what felt like hours, I mustered up the courage to reach for my computer. I had to know. Just a quick peak to make sure it was off and that that thing wouldn't come for me. Slowly, I lifted the screen, just enough that I could see the light of the screen.

Nothing.

Inch by inch, I opened the laptop fully, only to be met with a black screen. A sigh escaped me as I confirmed the computer had powered itself off after being closed. So long as I didn't log on to the game, that thing couldn't possibly get me.

But as moved to close it, my eyes caught sight of my reflection in the darkness of the screen.

And I saw it.

In the reflection was that long, grey, mangled face with its dead, hollow eyes staring motionless at me from the shadows, its jaw still unhinged like a snake.

The next thing I remember was my parents rushing into my room as I screamed bloody murder, thrashing violently as I tried to get away from that thing. They practically had to restrain me to get me to finally calm down. I cried in their arms as they frantically pushed for answere to figure out what had happened. When I tried to explain, they chalked it up to a night terror brought on by stress. The more I tried to insist it was real, the more they assured me it wasn't. I only stopped insisting when they started suggesting getting me psychological help and the idea that I was having a mental breakdown. I knew no one would believe me. Even if I got proof, what could they really do about any of this anyway?

It's been months since I last played Star Stable Online. Even the thought of logging on makes me feel anxiety build up in my chest. I want so desperately to have things back to the way they were. To just log on and forget the world again. And yet, I know that I never will. That thing didn't just traumatize me. It stole a part of me. It stole my comfort. My escape from the world. It stole that sense of peace and safety, a part of me I will never get back.

What's worse, it stole my sense of reasoning. I tried researching what I saw and asking around the community. I even emailed Star Stable Entertainment themselves, just hoping for any kind of answer, and still got nothing. I dont have an explanation for what happened or why it affected me so much.

I can't explain why it chose me, or how it was able to do what it did.

I can't explain why I still see it, or why it almost appears to be getting a bit closer everytime I see it in the corner of my eye.

I can't explain why every night since, the moment I start to fall asleep, I hear those same, horrid, gasping breaths in my ears, getting louder and louder.

And, no matter how hard I try, I can never explain why Ive started feeling a cold rush of air run down my neck in time with each breath.

#sso #star stable #star stable online #star stable creepypasta

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stvnszlr · 1 year ago

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HI! Here to beg u for Steven adhd headcanons

Pls i promise i'll be good this year.

oh my goodness … so um this is something i am like way too passionate about !! im going to seem like the craziest crazy person EVER by sharing this cuz i wrote .… a lot but u guys gotta stick with me okay you’ll see the vision

THANK YOU for asking this btw ! this is one of the things that makes me relate to steven the most ,,>_<,, and i will literally talk abt it anytime

☆ steven adhd hc’s / reasons why i think it’s possible he has adhd ! ☆ ( coming from someone who has a severe combined type adhd diagnosis )

please note this is all just speculation !! i’ve noticed some connections between his behavior / things he’s spoken about and adhd symptoms , but i am certainly no doctor and the only one who can truly determine any of this is steven himself . these observations are mostly just for my comfort as a neurodivergent person :)

ohhh stevie is a BIG stimmer :) he taps on everything in sight , he also hums a lot and likes to move his body ! bouncing , jumping , flapping , shaking , jiggling , playing with his hair ( i have video evidence sue me >:( )

people often describe him as “twitchy” , randomly making odd movements or sounds that can surprise and confuse those around him

vocal stims , dude . like my man is a parrot he’ll repeat random phrases over and over without thinking about it , just going about his day mumbling the most obscure sentences without even realizing

i’ve also noticed from watching videos he has a big BIG tendency to repeat things other people say !! i think that’s a combo of vocal stimming and also struggling to fit in when making conversation

he has literally confessed to having sensory issues related to taste and texture ??!?!? so i imagine he has them with other things too it’s mostly touch or sound related things that really get to him and can cause overwhelm but honestly anything that catches him at the right time will have him retreating inside himself and blocking everything out , unable to respond cuz he can’t think or listen

also seems to struggle with clothes touching his body ! he is always in loose tank tops and wears a lot of cropped pants / shorts , and has never really worn a lot of accessories unlike his bandmates . this could definitely be attributed to sensory issues , especially hating the feeling of wearing jewelry ( rings especially ) and also makeup on his face

drums !!! poppy loves drumming , it is SUCH a good stimulant for his brain cuz it works muscle memory , gives a dopamine rush , and combines both creative thought with an athletic activity

hyperfixations oh my god he is so bad . so so bad . he’ll pick up something for like a few weeks and dedicate EVERYTHING to it just to never pick it up again

very typical hyperactive type adhd , trouble focusing and sitting still OH MY GOD this man cannot sit normally for the life of him

um hyperfocus also !! drums is prolly his biggest one but if it’s something he’s super tuned into he can just . sit there and mindlessly work on it for HOURS before someone notices and is like hello take a break ??

didn’t like school cuz he always felt like he wasn’t smart , he was actually really interested by some subjects but just couldn’t keep up as a student :/ he also started getting into skating and music which were much better dopamine activities than school so he kinda just . quit ?

part of why his mom kicked him out so young , he was impulsive and reckless and very VERY high energy , easily irritated and his emotions had no filter / couldn’t control them or his actions based on them

this poor kid is so forgetful . he really cannot remember shit and it gets him in trouble a lot ! he’s gotta be reminded by the guys about EVERYTHING and it annoys them to no end , and steven always feels bad cause he wishes he could remember , but for some reason he forgets every time !

it’s where his irritability comes from too , he sometimes flips like a switch and can get really defensive and aggressive . he’ll lash out and turn really angry — not in a super serious way , but it’s the reason he gets in so many little fights with all the other guys , especially axl .

this is also tied in with the rlly strong sense of justice that neurodivergent people feel !! the reason he’d stand up and talk back when everyone else could just let it go

easier to fall into addiction and harder to get out of it . places a vice on his brain , trapping him in dependency on the drugs and making it so much more difficult to quit — why it took him so much longer to get sober than any of the others , even after all his health scares

drugs are also a coping mechanism for sensory issues and that awful , isolating feeling of being built just slightly different than everyone else

UM ???? LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT STEVEN POST GNR + LEAVING THE BAND IS JUST SCREAMING RSD ??? like the abandonment issues built up from his childhood ON TOP of being insanely sensitive to disappointing others / feeling unwanted ?? yeah i fucking understand why he couldn’t let go of it for almost twenty years of his life that’s like the worst possible thing to go through as someone hypersensitive to feelings of rejection bro . oh my god .

rsd also attributes to him being really eager to please especially with friends , and trying to talk himself up and seem cool and on their level and worth keeping around :(

i do also think it is likely that he learned to mask a LOT of his symptoms , of course not all of them ( as we can pretty obviously see in like . any video ever taken of him ) but a lot of the less socially acceptable ones he naturally forced himself to hide :(

#thanks for listening to my yapping #i am begging this man to take the brown scales test he would be off the charts #steven adler #saz speaks #saz requests !#guns n roses #gnr #steven gnr #steven adler adhd #guns n roses headcannons #steven adler imagine #adhd #neurodivergent

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cheritzssebba · 3 months ago

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I hate. I hate when you're hyperfocused on something. And then something just physically prevents you from completing the task that you're doing.

Last night I installed The Sims 4 on my laptop cuz I didn't know it was free and I wanted to play it today but it just kept crashing cuz my computer is stupid. So I tried searching up where else I can play The Sims and I searched for the Switch and found mixed results. And I tried doing the Sims app and it just wasn't the same. So I couldn't do that

And then my uncle delivered me the dvd player that my auntie promised me and so I rearranged my desk and plugged it in. But then I found that it didn't have a hdmi port but a scart port. Scart ports are old, I don't just have those things on hand............. the nearest one might be in the garage which is right down the bottom of the garden n it's way too dark to go down there rn

Seriously the hyperfocus got me checkin out how quickly Amazon can deliver me a scart cable. Like yeah I could buy one to arrive for tomorrow but I almost definitely have one somewhere. But just the fact that it wasn't possible for me to go searching for a cable at home, while it was possible to order one online.....

Just hate how it leaves me feelin sooooo frustrated and empty if I can't complete a hyperfocus ughhhhhh 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩 I WANNA SET UP MY DAMN DVD PLAYERRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!! But I have to accept that I won't be able to play The Sims until I can buy a new laptop 😔

#my post #autism

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albertbutyoucancallmebert · 6 months ago

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@stuckinuniformdevelopment

(prev) Teddy grabbed Bert’s hand and gave him a nervous smile while keeping his grip loose in case he wanted to pull his hand away. He wanted to tell Bert how much coming along meant to him. Yet he couldn’t quite find the words. The journey to the med bay was long and filled with tension, largely because Sam’s attack had left Teddy on high-alert after months of already being on edge. And he was well-aware of how risky being around Bert was. Even if it may already be too late. Eventually— after thoroughly making sure the coast was clear every step of the way and making detours to avoid running into other watchdogs— they arrived in the waiting room. Fortunately(?) the receptionist ushered them in right away… but only because they recently realized that Freddy needed more blood than they initially thought. It hurt to see Freddy look so cold and pale, especially when he was usually full of life. For a moment Teddy’s heart had stopped before he reminded himself that he was still alive. For now, at least. As his doctor hooked him up she informed them that Sam had pierced both Freddy’s liver and one of his kidneys, with the latter being unsalvageable. They had done all they could and now all they could do was wait. Even she wasn’t sure if he would pull through. Teddy had requested for Freddy’s visitors to be limited to him, Bert, and Freddy’s wife Cathy to reduce the chances of Sam returning to finish the job. Then he promised to file a police report and waited for the doctor to leave before letting out a long-suffering sigh. “I swear..,” Teddy muttered under his breath. “…if he dies I’m blowing up the Glornch with everyone in it…” Well, except potentially Mike.

Bert tensed slightly when Teddy grabbed his hand, but only because he wasn’t expecting it. But once he got used to the feel and reminded himself how nervous Teddy must be, he didn’t let go. It was kinda comforting, after all… Despite the fact he was worried a Glornist could possibly spot them like this. Which was why Bert exercised as much caution as Teddy did on their way to the med bay.

Seeing Freddy firsthand in such a fragile state and hearing about the damage done to him, Bert’s wishful optimism that everything would turn out fine started to wither. He sat quietly in a chair near Teddy. “I will provide the bomb,” he dourly mumbled in return.

Bert idly fidgeted with his fingers as much went through his head. First he thought about what he could have done to prevent such a thing like this from happening. Maybe he should’ve been more dissuasive and unsupportive of Teddy’s magic research. Maybe he should’ve done more to expose and campaign against Percy and the Glornch instead of burying his head in the ground to hyperfocus on his career. Maybe he should’ve been more dissuasive and unsupportive of Percy’s magic research. …That was going back too far. Bert slightly shook his head as he reminded himself that dwelling on the past isn’t going to fix what’s happening now.

So next, he thought about the consequences of blowing up the Glornch whether Freddy made it or not. Would an unexpected explosion kill Percy? Even if it didn’t, what would he do with all of his resources gone? How would an explosion impact the rest of the Skullship? How much trouble would they get in?

Meanwhile, Sherri Jr, fraught with worry, was holding herself back from climbing the medical med to sniff and examine the injured Freddy, as she knew that would be obtrusive. Instead she diligently sat at Teddy’s feet, hoping to provide some sort of comfort. She then remembered her gift, and retrieved the cashew packet from her backpack and set it on the ground next to her. She wanted Freddy to know they were from her when he woke up, so she also got out a small notepad and pencil. She was still miserable at writing, but she still tried her best to write, “From Sherri Schwarzschild Jr.” She tore out the page and set it on top of the packet.

#stuckinuniformdevelopment #the late night call #long post

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thessalian · 10 months ago

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Thess vs the Bank Holiday Blues

Currently doing the mental health evaluation and ... well, sometimes you just do everything you possibly can and you're still fucking struggling. Which fucking blows, thank you very much.

I've gone through the checklist. I've eaten. I've hydrated. I slept recently. Technically my "meds for neuropathic pain" are an antidepressant so I can't even say I need meds. As for therapy ... well, been there, done that, developed the coping mechanisms. But mental health-wise? I am struggling to cope at this point.

To be fair, this is largely external factors. This is the realisation that I was very much right about literally nothing changing in this country when we got a Labour government, because now they're saying, "Well, the Tories lied about the massive financial hole they left so we have to scrap all our infrastructure promises, cut the winter fuel allowance, and let the energy companies jack up their prices right at the start of autumn" and it's getting to a point where I wonder if they're just trying to kill the old people so they don't have to pay their state pension.

This is seeing some of the short-sighted bullshit going on in the US in the run-up to their own election. Because I know a whole lot about populist garbage and people making protest votes without thinking about what they're doing, okay? Our general elections here aren't the best example of it, but I have a better one - Brexit. We ended up leaving the EU for a few very simple reasons: a) populist wankers like Johnson and Farage lied through their teeth to win the racist vote; b) some people didn't really want to leave the EU but didn't like how the EU was going about things so voted leave in protest; or c) figured that Leave couldn't actually win and so didn't bother voting. Now, does any of that sound familiar?!? All you have to do is add d) third options that will never win but take the vote away from the sensible choice and you've basically got the US right now. And this country destroyed itself at least partly based on that one stupid badly-planned referendum. The US can't survive another Trump term, I can't actually do anything about the stupids that might allow Trump to take the election, and I have too many people I love in that country to be anything less than terrified. I know that my feelings are valid, I know I can't spend too much emotional energy on something I can't change, but still.

My situation is still not great. It's never going to be, and I know that, just because of circumstance. I guess it's just harder to keep from being depressed about my disability when so much else is weighing me down. I try to keep counting my blessings, because I have a lot of those. Still, no matter how hard you try, some days everything that's wrong seems so big that you're kind of stuck squished. That and probably the Bank Holiday Blues. I mean, I don't work Mondays anyway, but there's a different vibe to the world on Bank Holiday Mondays.

Right. I just need to take my mind off the blues. One of the blessings I can count is that my last therapist was basically the best. She didn't focus on the diagnosis as handed down from the psychs (which was almost definitely a standard "ADHD is often misdiagnosed as BPD in women" thing) and instead looked at my symptoms and my previous coping methods, and helped me hone them into something healthier. Some people would call what I do "avoidance" and "escapism"; I call it "therapeutic hyperfocus". I've done every healthy thing I can to improve my mood, so if the mood's still there, and hyperfocusing on, like, a video game or something keeps me grounded until it blows over, I do that.

Of course, then I have to pick which video game, but I do have a playthrough of BG3 that I am determined to complete, and nothing says "hyperfocus" like "game you've played a few times before but will still hold a couple of surprises because Dice Be Like That". And I deserve some fun after having had to spend most of Saturday in bed because migraine and exhaustion.

#Thess has issues

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astromechs · 2 years ago

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hi!! i am here to distract u from work! 5 & 9 for the good writer ask 💙

5. what inspires you to write

as someone with ADHD and a very chaotic brain in general, i can truly give you no rhyme or reason for my writing inspiration, which is part of why i don't promise regular updates LMAO music does it a lot, though, or just... random bouts of hyperfocus, or i just start thinking about something and i don't stop thinking about it until it's down on the page.

9. a passage from a WIP

i currently do not have access to where i keep my fan fics, since i try to separate my work and home life as much as possible, so you'll get something i jotted down into my notes app in two seconds literally just now (which is why this will need some editing eventually):

When Draven says, "Faulty intelligence," it isn't a comfort or an excuse, nor is it a point of blame — it just is. There's only room to consider that, what is and what isn't; there's only room to consider facts. Only room to consider what separates the truth from the noise, and to acknowledge that those efforts often fail.

There's no room to linger, either, in such failure. The Empire never stops, and so neither do they.

Cassian knows this as instinctively as he breathes. Faulty intelligence; time to find more and better, and move on. After a curt nod, he's out of Draven's office on a pivot of his heel, headed down the corridor and toward the hangar with purpose.

It would just be more convenient if the images still haunting him behind his eyes managed to know the same.

writing asks!

#asks #ezracomehome #writing asks

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eldritchamy · 10 months ago

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as a hypnotist, would you be more the cliché swinging watch type, or the vampire "look into my eyes" type?

I have zero experience as a tist, but I know a little bit from hanging around some online spaces.

What you'd want to do is choose an induction that works best for the person BEING hypnotized, because not everyone responds to hypnosis the same way, and different types of inductions work better or worse on different people. If you want to be a GOOD hypnotist, you should learn a bunch of different inductions so you've got a good range that might work for different subjects.

Oh hey look who went on an infodump again.

Also, it's a common misconception that hypnosis is fake. It's not like the way it's usually depicted in pop culture, but it's a very real thing, and most people who have any experience with it will tell you, you probably spend some amount of time in a trance state every single day. A trance is mostly just a state of altered focus where your awareness closes off extraneous noise and narrows down to a single thing that you're fixated on. Technically, by reading this post, that's a trance state. In the most loose sense.

If you have hyperfocus from ADHD/Autism, you're probably in a trance state a LOT. Like, for hours every day. Sometimes for hours in a row multiple separate times per day.

What hypnosis mainly is, is a GUIDED trance state. It is very much a real thing, and it IS very possible to ABUSE it, so it's something you should only do with an experienced and trustworthy person. The human brain is a fun thing to play with, but it's also weird, and can be exploited by people with bad intentions. You don't want to let just anyone play around with your brain like that.

An abusive tist can ruin your life.

Another misconception: some people may have to work at it more than others to make it work, but everyone CAN be hypnotized. It's just a matter of figuring out what works best for you, and practice.

It's been a while since I heard the difference explained properly by someone who knows what they're talking about, but there are two major categories for hypnotic susceptibility: "Physical suggestibles" and "Emotional suggestibles."

If you've never heard the terms before, I promise they're not lewd. that's not what the "suggestible" parts means.

What they basically mean is how your brain handles inductions. Being a "physical suggestible" does not mean someone can snap their fingers and be like "aha! you are now asleep! suck my dick!" It refers to suggestibility in the context of getting INTO a hypnotic trance state.

The major difference between physical and emotional suggestibles (and please correct me if I'm wrong because it's been a while since I last heard these terms explained) is that physical suggestibles respond fairly well to TANGIBLE induction triggers, while emotional suggestibles need a bit more of a STORY.

It's SORT OF like push vs pull.

Physical triggers include things that exist in the physical world. So things like pocketwatches and eye contact or idk a spinning top or a pen light or whatever would all work well for a person who is physically suggestible. A lot of these are "fixation" inductions. You basically get into a trance by focusing on one specific point (even if it's a moving point), and letting your focus NARROW to that point while everything else just kinda slowly fades from the periphery and your conscious state just kinda sticks to one thing.

Those triggers CAN work for me, but usually not well.

Of the ones I mentioned, eye fixation inductions are probably the ones I like best, which might be weird for someone who's pretty autistic and not always good at eye contact. Maybe I just think eyes are pretty, idk. I'm pretty sure butterfly inductions (lots of waving fingers moving around) are also in this category, and those can be fun. I think BODY fixation triggers are also in this group: things like arm pull drops and the forehead tap thing. I don't think those would work on me very well.

I have one of those Noisy Brains that doesn't like to shut up, so what tends to work better for me are the "emotional" triggers. Basically, where a physical trigger can be as simple as pulling on your hand to make you go limp at the right time (you time that with the "drop" to make it feel like you're falling), an emotional trigger is more like holding your BRAIN's hand and being like "I'm gonna walk you through a little story with me" and it's the STORY that you get your brain to fixate on to get into the trance state, because while your brain is following the story, it's not making up its own distractions.

Examples there would be things like progressive relaxation inductions (where every time you breathe out, a little bit more of a warm, comfortable feeling creeps up your body from your toes all the way til it gets to the top of your head, a great one if you're using hypnosis to help you fall asleep) or a stair step induction where each step down the stairs helps you feel more relaxed, stuff like that.

"Scriptnotists" are hypnotists that basically do their inductions by reading off a pre-written script, which is basically always an emotional suggestible induction. Scriptnotist is a little bit of a disparaging term because scripted inductions are garbage. This is what a lot of hypnotherapists who aren't good at their jobs do. You will ALWAYS get a better result by understanding the concepts and applying them in real time while paying attention to how responsive your subject is.

There's a WHOLE other concept called "convincers," which are basically tools that the hypnotist (and subject) use to check how responsive the subject is to the hypnosis, and convincers are SUPER COOL. My favorite one I've ever done is the balloon one. Basically the tist tells you to hold out your arm parallel to the ground, and imagine there's a balloon tied to your wrist. And balloon gets lighter and lighter and you feel it pulling on your arm more and more, until it pulls your arm up above your head.

And if you're responding well to the trance, that motherfucking imaginary balloon will pull your goddamn arm above your head. It's EXTREMELY cool. It actually feels completely involuntary when it's happening, it's absolutely WILD. I can actually make that one work on myself without even being in a trance, and it STILL feels involuntary. It's so fucking cool.

You can do the same thing with a bucket that gets heavier and heavier (this one is EASIER because your arm will naturally get tired from being held out, but it's less fun) and sometimes even both of those at the same time in either arm. The balloon one is my favorite.

And the point of the "convincer" is that it basically convinces the subject that the hypnosis is working on them ("all hypnosis is self hypnosis," i.e., to some degree you are only hypnotized if you BELIEVE you are), and lets the tist know how responsive the subject is and how far along the induction is. If the convincer works, that means the induction is working and the subject is in a state where they're open to suggestions.

One of the most INTERESTING inductions is called a Confusion Induction, and it's VERY hard to do properly as a hypnotist, but it's cool as hell if you can do it, and absolutely bonkers to experience.

The way those work is the hypnotist kinda rambles on through some increasingly opaque illogic nonsense like incorrect math or equating completely unrelated things to each other, and if they do it right it's just a stream of consciousness of absolute bullshit and the subject's brain utterly fails to keep up with or make sense of it, and this just kinda makes your brain stop TRYING to make sense of it, so you just kind follow the sound of their voice instead, because they're saying nonsense in a way that SOUNDS coherent and convincing, so it must just be YOU who's confused. And for some weird reason this actually works and puts you in a state of increased suggestibility.

And what's really fucking crazy about confusion inductions is that's exactly how a lot of conservative talk shows work.

I'm not fucking kidding.

Fox News is LITERALLY hypnotizing your boomer relatives into being weird racists. It's a confusion induction.

I don't think they KNOW it's a type of hypnosis, but it is. It's just a stream of absolute nonsensical bullshit thrown at you too fast for your brain to keep up with the "logic" of it (there isn't any), and the part of your brain that tries to DECIPHER that logic just kinda gets overwhelmed and shuts off, and you start trusting the person who sounds like they're confident that they know what they're talking about, and then they can just kinda suggest whatever kind of connections between unrelated things they want to you and your stupid hypnotized brain will start believing it.

The most FUN induction is probably fractionation, though. That's where you come in and out of trance repeatedly without enough time for your brain to really recover from the up and down of it, and you just kinda get loopier and loopier until not much of you comes back up anymore. It's a popular one in hypnokink spaces cause it really fucks you up nice.

Knocks your ass straight into the eight circle of subspace.

Anyway strictly speaking the pocketwatch vs eye fixation doesn't really matter, it's a fixation induction either way, and it's what the tist is saying that really matters. The fixation is just to help you close out unnecessary distractions so the tist has your full attention when they're ready to start playing with your silly little brain.

Now as a SUBJECT, if you're going for a fixation trigger with fixed repetitive motion like a pocketwatch, imo a metronome is better. The movement is more regular, controllable, and comes with that nice little ticking sound. They key thing with those is usually the tist telling you how tired your eyes are getting while following it back and forth, making it harder and harder to keep your eyes open. Something about that fixed pace of the metronome making it really monotonous and sleepy just gets the vibe better I think.

There is just something hot about eye fixations, though. There's some neat stuff you can do with blinking and having the subject mirror your eye movements. Like you make them follow your blinking patterns, but then you hold your eyes closed just long enough for them to close theirs, and they never see your eyes open, so they just accidentally dropped themselves.

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isilrina · 1 year ago

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Happy #ArtMonday, everyone!

Today, I'm thrilled to share the story behind a logo I completed two weeks ago. It all began during a creative session while I was working on my "workspace" piece, listening to "Making of a Legend" by The Phantoms. The music sparked a surge of inspiration, prompting me to pause and sketch out the initial concept for this logo. You can even catch a glimpse of this moment in the time-lapse of my "workspace" piece on Instagram.

But later that same day, fate dealt a cruel blow. In the midst of my hyperfocus, I accidentally closed the project without saving, losing hours of work. Yet, I managed to salvage fragments of the design—just enough to piece together the essence of the final logo.

Despite the setback, I chose to persevere. Typically, I would shelve such projects indefinitely, but this time, I embraced resilience and dove back into the creative process with renewed determination. And you know what? I couldn't be happier with the outcome.

Of course, every journey has its setbacks, and losing the original time-lapse was a bitter pill to swallow. It captured the logo's evolution, each idea unfolding in real-time. Nonetheless, I find solace in the fact that the end result surpasses the previous version in every aspect.

This project also marked my venture into working with vectors—a new frontier promising smoother results for future designs. It's a learning curve, to be sure, but one I'm eager to tackle head-on.

So what is this logo about? It's the symbol of one of my OCs from an original story called "Nexus Connection." Meet Alex, also known as Ikaros in the streaming world. He's not the protagonist, but a vital character nonetheless. Alex is a renowned streamer, celebrated for his gaming prowess and commitment to gender equity in gaming—a central theme in our story.

His pseudonym and logo, inspired by the Greek myth of Icarus, symbolize the dangers of unchecked passion. Just as Icarus flew too close to the sun and fell, Alex's journey serves as a cautionary tale about the perils of obsession. It's a reminder that even our deepest passions can consume us if we're not careful.

Reflecting on my recent setback, losing hours of work to hyperfocus, I'm reminded of the importance of balance in all things. Funny how life imitates art, isn't it?

In essence, this logo embodies resilience, creativity, and the power of embracing imperfection, ultimately leading to growth and improvement.

Speaking about all those things, I also wanted to give you a heads-up. I've been off my focus meds for a few days now due to some health issues, and it's been very challenging. Until I'm in the clear, I can't take them anymore (and there's a possibility I might not be cleared, ever). So because of that, my whole creative process is going to be much slower than usual.

My husband and I are going to stay at my parents' house in the south of France for a week, and I'm going to take this time to get better and try to refocus myself, but it might not be enough.

We'll see how this goes. Take care and see you next Monday.

#isilrinart #logo design #my ocs #oc:Ikaros #streamer oc #burning passion #orginal story #nexus connection #creation spark #the phantoms #making of a legend #ctrl s saves lives #greek myth inspired #Icarus #adhd issues #incapable of focusing #slower creative process #vacation

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tiallussims · 1 year ago

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I'm tempted to try again. I already have an idea and a setlist. But I still can't make poses. Mix and match isn't really possible because every posepack I found uses a different mic. -_- Unless Brain finally decides to hyperfocus and lets me learn how to make poses. So I won't promise anything Edgewavefest related.

Welcome to the Maze

Tell me which one is worse Living or dying first Danger Silent - You Should See Me in a Crown

As teenagers, the members of Malachai's Maze rocked stages in and around Windenburg and even had some songs go viral. Well, until most members moved away for college, university, or their jobs as young adults. The band's former singer Cameron Oxford, a successful solo act now, has brought Malachai's Maze back together for Edgewave 2023. For Edgewave, Malachai's Maze will blend both styles for a unique experience. Back Row

Tom Greene: Keyboard/Piano Cameron Oxford: Vocals, Violin, additional Guitar Rowan Baetens: Drums

Front Row

Olly Karlsson: Bass Archer Brock: Guitar, additional vocals

#TiallusSims #MySims #Edgewave #Edgewave Festival #Edgewavefest #MyEdits #ts4 #the sims 4 #screenshot #ts4 screenshot #the sims 4 screenshot #ts4 edit #the sims 4 edit #Cameron Oxford #Olly Karlsson #Rowan Baetens #Tom Greene #Archer Brock #Band Malachai's Maze

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autisticgirliesbracket · 2 years ago

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What makes Mabel Pines from Gravity Falls the autistic girlie ever of all time? Here's what the people have to say:

Mabel-related asks/reblogs: x This post will be updated after each round!

Image ID in alt text and under the readmore.

[Image ID. White slide with a screenshot of Mabel in the top right corner, she is dancing. She is surrounded by text boxes which read,

"wears a different sweater every single day in SUMMER. also she's loud and very silly in situations where it might not be appropriate, says whatever's on her mind, struggles with change, retreats into her sweater and rocks back and forth when she's upset, doesn't always realize how her actions impact others, has high empathy and a hard time saying "no" because she doesn't want other people to be upset, etc etc"

"One of her main story arcs is resistance to change particularly when it comes to her being very attached to her brother. She is very social and friendly but is often "too loud" or generally misses social cues - also tends to spit out random information to people she is talking to. The friends she does make are people who thing her eccentric nature is charming! upon meeting a girl with a lizard and a girl who fashioned herself fork-hands she whispers "ive found my people". She hyperfocuses on things very often! Like the sock puppet episode where she spends days producing a puppet show, or her crush of the week, or a boyband. She if VERY much the "oh she isn't autistic lol, shes just girly" type of gal that people dismiss often because shes social so "she cant POSSIBLY be ND". when she is emotionally overhwelmed she "goes to sweater town" aka sinks into her sweater to remove sensory imput from the outside world. also she has trouble empathasing with people at times especially if it comes into conflict with something shes hyperfixating on and can often have trouble controlling emotional bursts as a result of those conflicts. she also adores being creative, colorful stuff, knitting. i frankly think shes is autistic AND had adhd. i love her to death and i think a lot of her conflicts in the show could be interpreted/understood in a way thats like "oh thats an undiagnosed autistic kid dealing with stuff". her relationship with her brother is also interesting cause i think both of them are autistic and have learned to support/help each other in a way other ppl dont understand"

"She has tendency to obsess over things (such as her crush of the week or her pet pig), and clearly enjoys the sensory stimulation of lots of bright colours and patterns, and strong, sweet flavours. Her social skills also leave a little to be desired, as she's often very forward, quite loud and overly enthusiastic. Mabel is also quite change averse, as well as averse to the idea of having to 'grow up' and act more mature, which becomes a running theme throughout the show, as she tries to hold onto her childhood."

"Constantly wearing sweaters even in summer (literally only ever takes one off on-screen when she's made fun of for wearing it, and even then she ties it around her waist instead of tossing it), immediately bonds with two girls who are weirdos (affectionate dw) who do things like tape forks to their fingers in order to eat popcorn without getting butter on their hands, obsessed w/ bright colors and the 80's aesthetic, loves to make weird noises, I could go on"

"She wears sweaters every day (different ones in different colors, same style). She’s sometimes easily distracted, but tends to hyperfocus on a goal once she has it. When she’s sad or scared she goes to “sweater town” (pulling her head, arms, and knees under her sweater)"

"Knitting is her special interest to the point that she has a different sweater every day. She purposefully makes friends with everyone, ignoring social cues. She stims a lot by doing jazz hands and big movements. When she's very upset, she rocks back and forth and hids in an oversized sweater. She takes promises very seriously and always tries to see the best in people. Last but certainly not least, she has a whole episode dedicated to how "weird" she is with the ultimate conclusion being that unconventional, out of the box thinking is good."

"I know everyone hcs her as ADHD but also LISTEN...she has so much autism to me. She has a special interest in crafting, she tends to let her emotions override logical thinking when she's passionate about something, she just means so much to me as a former weird girl and since I am also autistic, I love projecting <3 Also you know she makes her own sweaters 1) because it's fun but also 2) maybe she struggled to find sweaters that weren't bad texture-wise so she decided to take up sewing/crocheting and made all her own clothes with a special yarn after that."

"i am not autistic but all my autistic friends love her and say she has autistic girl swag"

"it's mabel. all of that family has autism in spades and she is no exception. look at her. look at sweater town. come on" End ID.]

#autistic girlies bracket #autistic girlie masterpost #gravity falls #mabel pines

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the-fiction-witch · 2 years ago

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Date

Media IRL

Character Thomas Brodie Sangster

Couple Thomas X Reader

Rating Sexy

Concept Date Night

I rushed around like a chicken with its head cut off making sure everything was as perfect as possible fixing the flowers, fixing the candles, making sure dinner was not gonna burn, making sure the music was at a sensual low that could easily be spoken over, having changed my shirt about six times because I changed my mind on how I looked in the mirror. Scratch that I just caught myself in the mirror by the door and this blue shirt is out because I'm sweating! God fucking damn it I'm bad at this. I threw my shirt into the laundry spraif half a can of deodorant and body spray on myself and grabbed a black shirt when I heard the door.

"Fuck! No no no I'm not ready!" I complained fixing my hair and opening the door but I relaxed "oh thank god. Your a life saver jack" I told him as I quickly ushered him in and he handed over the bag from the shop with the bottle of wine I forgot

"You okay tom?"

"Yeah. Fine why?" I asked cleaning the bottle and adding it to the table

"You seem a little… panicked"

"I'm not panicked. I'm just… anxious. I haven't been on a lot of dates since everything and even the fee dates I have been on haven't gone particularly well. And I really like y/n she's cute and she's funny and she's literally like a fantasy come to life. And I'm terrified of fucking something up with her. Especially given this is our tenth date which is the furthest I've gotten with anybody since… everything." I explained and I noticed his face "I'm fine. Really"

"You say so. Still a lot of work for some girl." He says moving some cutlery on the table

"She's not some girl." I answered fixing it back "she's y/n." I said "jack… I really really like this girl. And if I fuck it up now I may never forgive myself."

"Fine. But I wanna meet her soon."

"If tonight goes well I promise you'll meet her."

"This hyperfocus doesn't have anything to do with you not getting laid for over a year does it?"

".... It's not helping." I admit "especially given… what we've been texting." I nervously admit

"Ooooh give me the phone"

"Hell no!" I yelled immediately hiding it

"Thomas I've been your best friend since literal preschool. We were once roommates. I've seen you naked more then I like to admit. I know your a weird pervy little fuck. Now let me read the kinky texts"

"Their not kinky!" I defended "we haven't got that far yet. We're still in flirty. But there uhh may have been suggestions. That we may. Get physical. Tonight. Or at least within the next couple of dates."

"Alright. Have fun. You know the rules"

"Don't add to the population. Don't subtract from the population. Don't be a cunt."

"Good, and relax a little okay girls smell fear" he laughed before he headed out

Well that didn't exactly fill me with confidence. I finished up setting up and right on time I heard the door so I went waiting a moment next to the door to check my hair and my shirt and everything. And I opened the door immediately being taken back.

She had these little white wedges sat on the doorstep, flesh toned stockings, a sweet blue and white off the shoulder gingham dress with a wide white belt and her usual silver necklace, her hair perfectly done as was her natural but still very beautiful make up. Her coat over her arm and a glass tray in hand.

"Hi Tommy"

"Hi y/n" I smiled egarly

"I bought brownies"

"Aww your so sweet we'll have those after dinner" I smiled taking the tray from her happily letting her inside shutting the door up behind us.

I took the brownies to the kitchen fighting my urge to taste them as they smelt so delicious but I lead her to her seat and took her coat doing her a nice glass of wine.

We chatted as we always did had dinner and her sweet brownies as we talked about everything and nothing, I was so happy so smitten across the table from her, until our conversation began to get a little more… interesting talking about maybe going in a trip together, maybe staying over one night at hers and where we potentially saw us going and amazingly she was on the same page as me what and excited to continue seeing each other and eventually got into a little bit of a steamy conversation.

"Thomas, I really think if they're going to start… seeing each other more I really think I should tell you some things"

"Of course, tell me whatever you want to" I told her holding her hand across the table

"Well, if things are going to be getting more physical I feel it's only best to warn you my tastes… aren't that common"

"Oh?"

"Some guys don't-"

"Its okay just tell me we can be adults about this"

"Well, I really really like sex"

"Okay?"

"Like almost an unhealthy amount, like my sex drive is higher than a rabbit'

"Oh"

"And you wanna know one of my favourite things to do?"

"Uhh yeah sure tell me."

"I don't know most guys get out off when I talk about this stuff"

"Ohh well I uhh I'm open minded, whatever it is I'm sure it's not that bad"

"Okay" she blushed "I really love sucking a guys dick"

".... really?"

"Yeah" she blushed "I don't know why it's just I really really love doing it. It's so fun. I love the action, the sounds guys make. Especially doing it sneaky places."

"... really?"

"Yeah, I hope this doesn't change anything"

"Uuughhh so you're into giving blow jobs?"

"Yeah,"

"Well in sure I could learn to live with that" I smirked

"Oh and my favourite position ever is reverse cowgirl"

"Ah then we have a happy coincidence" I smirked giving her a kiss "I have no problems with any of that. Frankly I'm confused what man would. But I don't mind."

"Okay," she smiled giving me another soft kiss "so?" She smirked running her foot up my leg "please?"

"Absolutely!"

#thomas brodie sangster #thomasbrodiesangster #tbs imagine #tbs smut #thomas sangster imagine #thomas sangster #thomas brodie sangster imagine #tbs #tbs imagines #thomas brodie sangster smut

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miekasa · 4 years ago

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mie….could we please get college au eren headcanons👉🏽👈🏽

Of course. I’m always thinking about his big head anyway <33 might as well put it good use.

One thing he learned in college is how to make his hyperfocus/fixation episodes work for him; that’s why he schedules all his classes as close together as possible. He’d rather have class back to back for 5 hours, than have it spread out with hours in between lectures, because that increases his changes of cutting.

You can always tell when he’s in class and/or what class he’s in by how much he responds to your messages. If he doesn’t text back at all, he’s in a class that hard or one he enjoys, or both. But if he’s sending you iMessage games, then you know he’s in his elective that he couldn’t care else about (and is probably cheating in someway somehow lmfao).

He usually puts his phone on dnd when he’s in a class that’s important, but you’re in his favorite contacts, so your messages always ring through. What if it’s an emergency and you need him for something? Advanced Roots of Human Biology can wait.

Some days there are one or two our breaks between his lectures, that’s just how the scheduling works out. When that happens, he usually sneaks into one of your lectures, or goes to your place to take a nap. Your roommates have become accustomed to him, honestly they’ve been considering giving him a key.

Once, he didn’t realize that your lecture was basically a seminar, with you, the prof and maybe six other students. He still stayed lmao, and the prof was so amazed by his dedication, that she didn’t even mind. Occasionally, you’ll catch the two of them talking after lecture. It’s pretty cute the way she’s adopted him into the class even tho he’s not on the roster.

You... have to show him where the library is lmfao. He genuinely has not stepped foot in one until you bring him to one. He likes it tho lmao once he gets used to it.

Speaking of which, do not give him standard directions to find your classes on campus because all you’ll get is, “Babe, I’m gonna keep it real with you, I’ve never heard of the ‘West Quad’ a day in my life. What building are you near.”

He usually comes to see you in the library after all his lectures are done for the day. Sometimes he does homework, sometimes he’s just fucking around on his computer, sometimes he’s just bothering you. When you have to leave to go to class, he stays behind to watch your stuff so you don’t have to pack everything up and come back.

Very protective when it comes to keeping your seat for you. No, you cannot take that chair to your table you good for nothing freshman; it’s reserved for you.

He’ll drag you out of the library if you’ve been cooped up all day, tho. Eren will use his height and his strength against you to get you up. Placates you with kisses when he sees your angry expression, and promises to buy you food.

He takes your backpack for you when you’re walking together,m. His backpack is frustratingly light all the time, even during midterms. You swear all he’s got in there is a pencil and some flashcards.

If you have night classes, he sticks around to walk you home after, especially in the winter when it gets dark faster. If he’s not already on campus, he’ll walk/drive back to meet you; he just doesn’t like you going home alone. Even if your friend/roommate is in the class with you, Eren will walk or drive the both of you home for his own sanity.

He plays sports, so he usually has practice most evenings, but he’ll find a way to make time. If practice was particularly brutal, he’ll probably crash at your place.

He loves it when you come to meet him after practice. His whole face lights up and he waves obnoxiously, before he gathers up his stuff and all but sprints towards you. You get a cold water bottle to the face, or a bit of water splashed on you usually, which he takes immense amusement in.

He knows it’s not possible for you to make it to all of his games, and usually it doesn’t bother him much; you’ve got your own life, and work to worry about. All he asks is that you wear his jersey, or any item of his sports apparel/merch on game day (he’s partial to hoodies).

By the time junior year rolls around, he’s not all that interested in attending parties that aren’t hosted by your friends; so, unless it’s at Connie, Jean, or Reiner and Bertholdt’s place, Eren will usually decline. Even team parties, he’s not crazy about unless it’s to celebrate a championship or something. He’d much rather celebrate with you.

He does get excited about hosting parties though, and he and Jean become pretty damn good co-hosts. They don’t throw ragers, and that’s probably why Eren likes it so much. It’s usually your friend group and a couple plus ones, some good music, games, weed, and take-out.

He’ll buy you coffee whenever you ask for it. The first time, he just orders something plain, not really knowing the difference between anything; but give it two or three tries, and he’ll get it perfect. He becomes so good that he can order you something new/different and you’ll love it.

That’s kind of the start of his own coffee addiction, and more often than not, when he buys you a cup, he’s on his second or third of the day himself. The flavor has really grown on him, okay.

He much prefers your apartment, but on occasion, he’ll ask you to come to his. You’ve been studying for so long, a change of environment should do you good, he claims. He’s a fucking liar tho because that’s all Eren Talk for “I do genuinely want you to come over, but my plans are to coerce you out of doing your assignments and doing me instead.”

Lmfao he adds you on Apple Watch Rings just so you can see him close his rings every day and laugh at you. Even if yours get closed by virtue of walking around campus or working out or whatever, his numbers are stupidly high because he fucking has practice at least 4 days of the week.

Of course when you’re running on a soccer field for 2 hours every day, you close your Move Ring five times, Eren. Leave the rest of us alone.

He buys you guys matching accessories for your keychains. It’s something pretty cute, and slightly random, but it reminded him of you. It also serves as a reminder to himself to take his fucking keys with him when he leaves his house.

He sleeps like a fucking rock, so do not let him fall asleep in the library. Waking him up is a mission, and he’s never happy to be woken up. He looks kinda cute tho.

He schedules dates for you and his friends. Usually by accident, but hear me out. Sometimes he’ll make plans with Armin, then forget that he has class or a test or something; so his solution is to text you, “hey, i forgot min and i were supposed to go some aquarium tomorrow but i have a midterm so here’s the pdf of my ticket, go with him for me, thanks babe love u” then, boop, you and Armin have an aquarium date Friday evening.

The same thing happens with Mikasa, though, she usually catches the scheduling conflict before Eren does, and invites you out herself. You and Mikasa hang out quite a bit anyway, so it comes to the point where she tells you when she’s gonna hang out with Eren, so you can make yourself free for when he inevitably remember he has a game that day.

Mikasa is most amazed that you’ve put up with Eren this long lmao. You’ve certainly lessened her Eren & Armin babysitting hours, and for that she’s eternally grateful. Also, she’s just happy to have another close friend. She loves Eren and Armin, but they’re not the most social beings, and she was literally their only friend besides the other for all their childhood PLEASE she’s so happy you’re around.

It’s Mikasa, however, who babysits you and Eren whenever you both get too drunk. Says you guys are two peas in a pod (affectionate<2)

If you tell Eren something important that happened, like an internship you got, or a good grade in a class, or something, he usually relays that information to his mom pls. He texts her every day, and if she doesn’t ask for an update on you first, he gives her one.

Carla calls you sometimes, too. At least once every few weeks, just to check on you herself. She really likes you for Eren, and is grateful someone is willing to put up with her hotheaded son.

Eren’s always using your fucking chapstick. Always. You know he has his own, so why he needs to use yours is beyond you. Finds time to make some dumbass comment about how it’s an “indirect kiss” every time he uses it too. Like bro, we’re dating, and have had many direct kisses why are you like this.

He posts on Instagram every few weeks or so, but you’re on his story every few days. Usually, it’s just a video of you minding your business and doing your work while Eren slowly zooms in before making some loud noise to surprise you, all so he can get your reaction on video and laugh at it. He’s annoying.

He’s a bit of a copycat when it comes to the products you use. He’ll buy the same brand of pens as you (for that matter, all of his school supplies mirror yours because what does he know about the difference between A4 and A5 notebooks?), put a little hand sanitizer on his backpack like yours (and a lotion, too, for good measure), he even copies your Starbucks order until he finds one he likes for himself. It’s one of his love languages <3

If you’re wondering where your eyelash curler went, Eren stole it to try it on himself, hurt himself, vowed to never use it again, went back because he wanted to “do it right and not give up,” liked the results when he didn’t pinch his eyelid, and now it’s his.

That being said, stop trying to put your Fenty lipgloss on him, it’s never going to happen. Eye makeup, maybe, only if you sit in his lap and he can have his hands on your ass while you do it.

What he does love is letting you do his skincare. He will set aside dedicated skincare nights, he adores it. Easily one of his favorite things ever.

You have his wallet. Not because he’s your sugar daddy or anything (although, if you want something, he’d definitely let you use his card to get it; and even if you bought something without asking, he wouldn’t think twice about it), but because he put it in your bag once and never took it out.

When you tried to give it back, he just shook his head and told you to keep it, “I have my ID in my phone case anyway, and you’re less likely to lose it. Plus I put all my cards on Apple Pay, so I’m good.”

When you do make it to a game of his, he’s all over you when it’s over. Not in a cocky athlete boyfriend kind of way; in a very sleepy boyfriend kind of way. He’s usually got ice on at least one part of his body, and he’s got half his body weight on you as you walk to the car.

By the time you guys get back to your place, he’s practically sleep walking. The only thing on his mind is taking a hot shower to soothe his muscles, and heading to bed. The aftermath of game days aren’t all that bad though, because even if you didn’t show, you’re always there to kiss him when he’s home and massage his shoulders, and cuddle him to sleep; and that’s his favorite part.

#anonymous #hes so fucking cute hes my fucking BOYFRIENDDDDDDDDD #eren x reader #aot x reader #eren jaeger x reader #aot imagines #eren fluff #eren smut

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firespirited · 2 years ago

Text

Today's ramblings :

Some of the pornbots have great usernames, hope they get recycled.

Today sis and I went to Lidl again, she had a small list with her, I wanted to try beef jerky and find a low sugar sandwich or pizza. When we're out and about I check in with her every few minutes to see how she's doing,

if we need to turn back or take a moment...

but we split up looking for different things and when we met up at different aisles she'd tell me about how hot and sweaty it is today and how she hadn't found the items she was looking for, twice I wondered briefly why she'd told me how long we'd been in the shop before getting distracted again.

By the time we got to the checkout, I could tell something was horribly wrong. We sat outside in a cool spot and I waited for her terror to pass and offered various snacks, til she finally opened up about how she'd been trying to tell me she wasn't remotely ok for almost half hour. She'd had had a POTS thing then got distraught that I wasn't listening or that I didn't care. That's awful. I had no clue. I used to be much better at this.

I was in hyperfocus, overstimulated, tunnel vision and couldn't tell she was distressed. I messed up SO bad.

Forgot to explicitly ask "are you ok, should we leave?" at any time.

Once home, we tried honey bbq beef jerky (way too sweet) and a calzone style ham and cheese oven pizza (a little bland but warm crunchy bread with melty cheese is always a delight). We also talked about disorientating it was to be in a shop where things aren't in their aisles but in multiple places (cosmetics is nowhere near beauty and hygiene but next to the tills) meals are organized in categories like current specials, Mediterranean food, foreign instead of by what they contain. So three different rice meals are in 3 locations (french, italian, chinese). They have bath/shower gels all over the shop (at least 4 locations). 🤔🙄

I've apologised and we've talked it over: when in social or 'loud' environments I need to find ways to shut it all out and actually listen and trust my gut if the convo sounds odd (the amounts of time we'd been in the shop for example) and she needs to be frank and voice her needs directly ("i am sick. we need to go now" ) even if she finds that rude because I need the equivalent of a big shake or a small slap to bring me out of the blur into the moment. So completely clueless to what was going on and also can't promise it won't happen again, I can't summon the sort of hypervigilant state I'd go into back in the day where I was aware of everything, just everything, it'd leave me super drained and slightly paranoid about how I was perceived but it wasn't this current emotionally zombified mess.

At least we talked it over twice to iron out any and all misunderstandings and establish new strategies as a team so I'm not spiralling and neither is she.

—–———––—

Got to use a parcel locker for the first time to deposit Tiana teal kiwi. I sold CAM Mummy teal dense nylon last week. They were some neat customs. Really hope I can find another mummy with a well aligned face someday.

I was about to take down the 1€ and postage auctions for sets of the trash-find cleaned-up figurines (the DBZ are still bleaching and myondolls gets first dibs), I'd hoped that would be a good way for them to find their way to collectors but they got no views.

Well the Gormiti sold today so that's nice. I'll give the others a month at least before they go to a friend who knows a second hand shop.

I really need to cut and bleach my hair. Not sure that's possible in one go because shoulders. but it's driving me nuts having a big fluffy mushroom on my head with a lanky centre. It always ends up worth it and boosts confidence when it's neat.

PS oreos are called neos in france. No idea how they taste. Still not touching sugar.

#saf #Ramblings

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