#ps if you're reading this

[waltwhitmansbeard]

go on, claim my heart: chapter thirty-six

see my masterpost for what came before this.

When Percy returns to his chambers, he is unsurprised to find Vex there waiting for him. Perhaps he should be surprised; there are a great many things for the Captain of the Royal Guard to be attending to at this moment, from the upcoming mourning ceremonies to the following coronation of the new sovereign to a reorganization of the guard following a kidnapping of a member of the royal family. Yet he opens the door, and there she is, sitting on the end of the bed, feet on the footboard, elbows on her knees, exactly where he knew she'd be.

She watches him in silence as he slips out of his shoes, shrugs off his coat, hangs it carefully on the hook by the door. The weapon he keeps at his hip goes onto his desk, and then he sits beside her. Without a word, her arms come to circle his neck, and she pulls him back, so that their shoulders hit the mattress and she's holding him, keeping his face pressed into her chest as he weeps for the second father he's lost now.

They lay there for longer than they should—he also has so many things to attend to, so busy, this time meant for mourning—but Percy can't bring himself to move. At some point, Vex's fingers have drifted up to play with the fine hairs at the nape of his neck, and he rather feels like a cat being scratched just so, wondering vaguely if he might spontaneously start purring. The thought, sudden and unexpected in the stillness of the moment, is overwhelmingly comical, and a laugh bubbles up out of him.

Vex pulls her head back to quirk an eyebrow at him. "What's so funny?"

He shakes his head. "Nothing. I'm...being stupid."

"Yes, well, I'm used to that." She smiles softly at him. "Did you say goodbye?"

"I did. It was...hard." And he finds that he does not want to talk to her about this, not when he has been so blessed to have had two fathers, each kind and generous and imperfect and wonderful, when she was denied even one who was not craven and heartless.

So instead he tackles the other elephant in the room. "I heard you."

Her breath catches in her throat. He watches her eyes dance between both of his, sees in them the strategizing, questioning whether she can get away with pretending she doesn't know what he's talking about.

She knows she can't. "We don't have to talk about this now."

"Vex'ahlia..."

"We don't. Our sovereign is dead. Keyleth will be crowned soon, if she's even awake yet. Vilya was nearly sacrificed in an immortality ritual not twenty-four hours ago. Bigger things are happ—"

He kisses her, slow but insistent. He then rests their foreheads together. "There are no bigger things. Not to me." He presses a hand flat against her stomach. "I will not presume to tell you what you want. I know that you take great pride in your independence, and if it is important to you, it is important to me, too. But I will say..." Oh, he did not expect this, the closed-throat emotion of it, the hiccuping heart in his chest. "I have been, in my life, so very good at convincing myself that I do not want the things that I want. It is easier, I think, not to want, because if you do not want, you cannot be disappointed.

"But this? I want this. I want you. I want our family, messy and strange and so very, very perfect. Seeing my sister, dying, being lured back to life by the sound of your voice—all of it made me realize that I am a man who wants a great deal, and I will not deny myself that want any longer."

Tears slip quickly and silently along the curve of Vex's nose. "I've been so scared," she breathes, "so, so scared. I didn't know—what if you didn't—what if I didn't—"

He shushes her, pulling her in this time to cry into his shirt. "I'm sorry you've been holding this alone," he whispers into the crown of her head. "I'm scared, too. I think it's safe to say my own relationship to parenthood is...complicated. But Vex..." He gently pulls back to take her face in his hands. "I love you." Her face crumples. "I love you more than I think I know how to say. And loving you is one of the only things in this world that does not scare me."

She kisses him then, wet and hard, and whispers against his lips, "I love you, too."

He holds her close, this miracle woman carrying their miracle child, and focuses on not letting his heart burst right out through his chest. After a few minutes, a thought strikes him. "Wait, did you know about this before you left on the quest for Vilya?"

A prolonged pause. "Um. Yes?"

"The quest so dangerous it got me killed?"

"Mhm?"

"Oh, I am going to be so very, very angry with you later."

"Of course, darling."

.

Vax rests back against the headboard, Keyleth curled into a tight ball in his lap. He's tucked her head under his chin, and now that she's cried herself out, she breathes slowly, in and out, clearly still exhausted even though her eyes remain stubbornly open.

And he can imagine why; what nightmares must await her in her sleep, what horrors, what sorrow, what fear? To travel the continent in pursuit of their stolen child, only to come home, battered but triumphant, and be told that her father, now, is lost forever—what has Keyleth done to earn such acute agony as this?

(Because it is forever, this loss. Vax sank deep into the pool of blood, let it fill his lungs to bursting until he was in front of her, seething, seeing red, demanding the return of his wife's father. His relationship with the Raven Queen has always been tenuous, nebulous, unsure; he will serve her until his dying day, and likely long after, a fitting payment for the gift of his wife's life, but then, what is the point of being her so-called champion if he cannot do even this small thing, restoring a good man to world?)

Keyleth has one hand gripped tightly into the fabric of his tunic, as if she fears she will blow away in the wind if she lets go. He strokes her hair, tangled and soiled from all their time on the road, and presses soft kisses about her temple. From just beyond their bedroom wall, he hears the familiar babbling sounds that he once feared he would never hear again. He is so endlessly grateful for Nel, who has installed herself in this cottage as Keyleth begins the agonizing process of putting her pieces back together again.

Keyleth must hear Vilya's small coos as well, because she murmurs, "I need her."

Vax doesn't need to ask for clarification. He carefully shuffles Keyleth to the side and slips off of the bed, and for a brief moment, the hand twisted into his tunic tightens. Then she lets go, and he quickly leaves the room, where he finds Nel tidying up, the baby snuggled in a woven sling across her chest. Nel looks just as tired as Vax feels—she'd been summoned as soon as they'd arrived back through the cherry tree, and once she'd confirmed that Vilya would suffer no long-lasting effects of her kidnapping, she'd remained to watch her while Keyleth recovered and Vax stalked off to futilely feud with a goddess. As Vax relieves Nel of her burden, he conveys his thanks for her steadfast dedication to his family. She merely pats his cheek with a sad smile and tells him that she will return as soon as she can take a brief nap of her own.

Vax takes Vilya back into the bedroom, where she curls easily into her mother's arms. He sits beside them, an arm around Keyleth, and when he feels some of the tension in her shoulders ebb away, he says, "I hope you know that I begged. I promised her everything I could to get your father back. I'm sorry it wasn't enough."

Keyleth runs a fingertip along Vilya's nose, across her rounded cheek, up to the point of one ear. "It's not your fault."

He hears what goes unsaid in the monotone of her voice. "It isn't yours either, Keyleth. Tell me that you understand that." She doesn't answer, and Vax wants to take her by the face, force her to meet his eyes and believe it, truly believe that she is not responsible for her father's demise.

"What did she say?" she asks instead, still looking only at their daughter. "When you asked for him back?"

Vax runs a stressed hand through his hair. What did she say, indeed? "She said that this was part of her warning, though I cannot possibly figure out how. She claims that the threads of fate are still being pulled. Kiki, I don't know what it all means. I don't know how to make this better, I don't know how to fix what's been broken."

"I need to see him."

The words are so quiet Vax almost doesn't catch them. He reaches a hand up to curl over his little girl's soft, wispy hair. There is so much suffering in this world; how is a man meant to keep such pain from his daughter? It is like stemming the tides with his bare hands.

He kisses the shell of Keyleth's ear. "We will go together. As a family."

Keyleth nods, her head coming to rest on his shoulder once more. It scares him, her quiet, her stillness. She may have cried herself to exhaustion now, but he knows that the eye of the hurricane has not yet passed over this house, that winds of grief strong enough to pull the cottage apart stone by stone are still howling in the distance. And somewhere, in the midst of such a maelstrom, she is supposed to become a queen, to lead her people into the next chapter of their story. What terrible things we demand of each other, he thinks as he watches tiny eyelids grow heavier and heavier in Keyleth's arms. What terrible, terrible things.

[lowrezbonuslevel]

i can't believe they r roommates

hi guys i don't read much fanfiction but i read my mutual's gijinka fic And They Were Roommates and it was good and you guys should read it, i also thought i should show my appreciation by depicting my favorite moments artistically (i took a few creative liberties okay)

number one the glitter incident:

number two the sparring incident:

and finally number three the parmesan incident:

all gijinka designs by the fic author, @starsh0cked (i did my best lol)

[william-austin]

"the be more chill fandom is dead"

I just went to a craft store buying a sweatshirt so I can make the creeps shirt while in michael cosplay and the cashier goes

"just wondering but is that hoodie michael mell from be more chill?"

[chthonion]

Every time you post a new chapter, please know that I am mentally hiding ritalin in some cheese for Annatar

Well I am going to imagine this periodically and laugh uproariously about it for at least a week

You are correct to hide it in cheese because he would never believe you if you explained to him that it would make his brain at least 30% more manageable. Medical care is for people who are not Annatar, obviously. In fact, how dare you imply that his brain is unmanageable. He manages just fine as long as he doesn't have an emotion or get stuck on a thought or forget to eat or experience a texture.

[chipthekeeper]

Ranking Velcinta moments by how insane they make me feel, a(n overly) comprehensive list

As promised, here's my way too detailed ranking of all 18-ish of their moments. This (predictably) got obnoxiously long toward the end, so venture under the cut if you actually care and/or don't mind a lot of scrolling.

18. Valley One (Ep. 6)

I'm relatively sane about this. Except when I think about how they probably slept in that little hut the night before. Also when I think about how this is one of the very few shots in which they're both visible and (relatively) in focus.

17. "No farewells tonight." (Ep. 5)

Mostly was insane about this when the episode first came out and I was SO. FUCKING. WORRIED. that they were gonna die in the next one.

16. "What are they doing?" (Ep. 5)

Girlfriends who scowl together stay together (please Tony Gilroy I'm begging you).

15. Feeding the dray (Ep. 5)

The fact that Cinta is smiling here is what makes me most crazy. Also I just adore this flash of simple domesticity with them. Ahh, what could have been....

14. "Have you heard from Cinta?" (Ep. 7)

Vel not being able to look Kleya in the eye when she asks about Cinta makes me crazy mostly for the whole "Vel/Kleya exes" plot but of course this whole part had me jumping out of my seat on first watch.

13. "The rebellion comes first. We take what's left." (Ep. 9)

VEL FINDING STRENGTH IN CINTA'S WORDS AND USING THEM TO HELP MON WITH HER DOUBTS TOO I'M !!!!!

(went all-caps way before I thought I would, maybe this one should be higher....)

12. Into the smoke (Ep. 12)

She looks so worried when Cinta isn't where she's supposed to be and then she sprints INTO the melee while everyone else is running AWAY. I'M NOT FINE!!!!

11. At the campfire (Ep. 4)

I swear to y'all that the first time I watched this episode and saw them sitting so close I was like "oh. hey" fully intending to ship them even if that was literally all we got. And then holy fucking shit we got everything I was too afraid to ask for. So this moment always has a special place in my heart.

10. "What's she doing?" (Ep. 4)

It. Makes. Me. CRAZY. That the first time they share a scene together, they're literally always in the same frame.

CRAZY.

Like....they've been connected from the VERY beginning, even if the show revealed them being together rather slowly. Also it's everything to me that the first time we see Cinta it's Taramyn asking her what Vel is up to bringing a new guy in. Because if anyone would know, it would be her.

9. "Stay focused, Clem." (Ep. 5)

All of the territorial Vel stuff is great to me but I especially love this moment. First of all Cinta's little smirk. And also it's just so....idk it's a quiet moment of contemplation and probably anxiety but we can't not take a second to tell Clem to back off.

I'm combining this with the "you can dress yourself" bit too because that moment just makes me laugh with how Vel's always in the background watching and then immediately jumps up to give Clem the business and use his scuffle with Skeen as an excuse to mark her territory.

8. "Closet?" "Empty." (Ep. 12)

That bit of dialogue made my gay little self so happy and then they went and did the whole "that's blood" "it's not mine" thing and I'll never recover. Vel being so concerned that she won't even let Cinta keep packing, but then at the very end she's a little impressed/turned on??? 10/10 no notes. (okay I have one note and that's "you're really just going to leave me hanging like that for two years?????" but that's a different post)

7. "Get down!" (Ep. 6)

Truly one of my favorite scenes in the whole show is when Vel almost loses her shit at the top of the dam. The tension is insane, her fear is PALPABLE, and I absolutely love that it's Cinta just calling her out for stalling and then yelling at her that breaks her out of it.

But the thing that makes me feel most crazy about this scene is this:

Someone please explain to me WHY Cinta makes the jump while looking directly at Vel. EXPLAIN IT TO ME. Or else I will just continue to believe it's because part of her is scared up there too and looking at Vel is what helps her take the leap. That is a crazy thought -- I'm pretty sure she's fine -- but if it's not that then I don't get why she's even facing that way??

6. This (Ep. 8)

THE MUSIC. THE FADE. THE SORROW. I like literally can't even talk about this one. But it does make me feel a lot how obvious it is that Vel's thoughts are soooooooooo far from the fight here:

While at the same time there's not a thought in Cinta's head about her:

Breaks my fucking heart.

5. "No. She didn't tell me." (Ep. 5)

Whew. This moment. For a while I was mostly happy about this moment because it was just one more piece of evidence that they were together before that was fully confirmed.

But then my headcanon brain took over while I was writing my multichapter fic and it has been fucking me up ever since. Because I'm always going to wonder if all their drama was always going to happen the way it did or if Vel betraying Cinta's trust as a partner was some kind of breaking point.

Is that probably just me? Yes. Does it matter? Not to this ranking.

4. "She's already sharin' a blanket if that's what you're wonderin'." (Ep. 5)

I was!!! I was wonderin'!!!!! And I will forever use this phrase as a euphemism for being a lesbian.

What I would not give........to experience this line and this shot for the first time again. Or at least know what I sounded like giving a joyous shout.

3. "Tell me you'll be alright." (Ep. 6)

This is the one that I would probably sound the most insane trying to talk about out loud. It would be a lot of me like verbally keysmashing and somehow going "!!!!!!" out loud.

The hand-hold that saved my life? The EMOTION in their eyes when they look at each other??? Vel starting to go in for the goodbye kiss right in front of the hostages' salad but then just not????????

Fuck.

FUCK!!!!!!!

2. "Come away from the window." (Ep. 12)

I have to start by talking about Vel's cute little sad grin in this scene when she's like "nice to see you too" and Cinta like glares back at her. That made me feel crazy enough but then this whole scene that I want to say I can't even put into words even though I have in fact already done it.

The desperation on Vel's part is what kills me. Not that she's desperate for attention or love or whatever people always try to pin on her here (and of course it is that to some degree) but that she's desperate to keep Cinta from losing herself. She's so desperate but all she can do is ask. All she can do is hope Cinta will turn around and take a break. And she does.

BUT WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENS AFTER THAT TONY GILROY?!

I have never screamed so loud about a scene just ending.

Whatever, it gave me something to write and I enjoyed doing that.

1. "You love me because I show you what you need to see." (Ep. 8)

And here we are. The scene that has taken up space in my brain more than any other single thing since I saw it. I've been over it so many times. Watching and taking notes, staring at the gifs, studying the screencaps, trying to wrap my head around every little line and gesture and movement and emotion. I've spent hours on it, and I still find myself coming back to think about it and wondering if I've truly understood it all.

Just getting them reunited after Aldhani was such a relief (even though it was jarring at first to just see Cinta and be like "how the fuck did you get here?"). But then the conversation just knocked me on my ass.

"Haven't we been apart long enough?" YES YOU HAVE!!

"We take what's left." NOOOO TAKE IT ALL

"That's cold...even for you." Stabbing me in the face would be less painful.

And then...hearing the words "you love me" from one woman to another woman in a Star Wars show....not a book, not a comic...a show. Truly meant everything to me. I was so fucking happy to hear those words that I couldn't even process how goddamn sad the rest of it was until later. Once I did I had a stomachache for an entire week. I have one again right now.

And then it ends with the most fucking beautiful hand-hold and yet another tiny look that makes me feel crazy in and of itself (which I've done a whole post on by itself), and despite my broken heart I have hope.

If I am ever able to watch this scene and not feel seventeen emotions at once, it's over for me.

Easy number one.

[carmenized-onions]

i can very well imagine Fak getting insecure over tony's handyman takeover LOL, like he'll tell carm about some issue happening and carmy will be like "oh yeah, i'll tell tony about it" and fak just follows carmy like. What do you mean tony im right here im the handyman... all in good spirits ofc, and sugar just there telling him "don't worry sweetie we'll find something for you to fix"

God you've ruined me, I'd so dedicated myself to the idea of only following Tony and sprinkling in bits of Carmen's thoughts and NOW I'm COMPLETELY RUINED WITH WANTING THIS!!!

(in a good way, i jest hehe, this was such a delight to read, just kickin' my feet like 'YEAH!! YEAH THEY WOULD!!')

The Fak and Tony dynamic hasn't been touched on too much just yet but it really is so fucking funny, please do know that in the background, this is absolutely what is happening lmao. Fak will have his moment I swear HA-- We will give him a squeaky hammer to help <3

Everyone write fanfiction about my fanfiction fr, it's too fun to write for Tony, I promise you'd love it.

[manic-pixie-dick-girl]

You know how much it sucks that sapphics are so under-represented in fiction and fanfiction right? Like how it's so much harder for stories about sapphics to get published, how f/f ships on ao3, even the big ones, are like a quarter of the size of m/m ships. How we in our little sapphic fiction and fandom community on tumblr are like waaaaay smaller than our heterosexual and mlm counterparts? Because that really sucks!

So please don't then turn around and do the same thing to transfem sapphics inside our community. There's like, without exaggeration, maybe 20 published books about sapphic romances featuring a trans fem protagonist or love interest. It's not hard to get published, it's damn near impossible. There's barely any fanfic about us like there are just over a million f/f fics on ao3 and 9,000 of them are tagged as having a trans female character. Transfem sapphics basically don't exist in sapphic fiction. It really sucks.

I'll never forget searching through the "trans rights readathon" tag a few months ago excited to find more trans sapphic books. Only to find every reading list was between 95% and 100% by and about transmasculine people. Transmascs are great! Transmascs certainly need more representation too! But it kinda fucking stings to feel so excluded. Transfems need like 10x the amount of fiction written by and/or about us put out in the world just to get to the amount of "needs more rep" transmascs are at.

This all speaks to a broader undercurrent of transmisogyny in queer communities but we won't go into that, because you the person reading this are definitely an ally for trans fems and want sapphic spaces to truly welcome us. Otherwise a post from me wouldn't have reached your dash!

So what can you do? Write about us. Please. We basically can't get published, and nobody reads our shit on ao3. The next thing you write, put a sapphic trans woman in it. Or if you want EXTRA BONUS POINTS put a nonbinary transfem sapphic in there. Obviously I'd want it to be a protagonist or love interest but honestly even a prominent side character would make me very happy.

It's okay if you make mistakes! As long as you honest to god try. If you have questions you can ask transfem friends, mutuals, even just put em on tumblr. I would much much much rather see ten cis and transmasc sapphics attempt to write about trans women and get some things wrong, than see zero even try.

Good luck!

[center-for-catboy-control]

im so tired bros :D

now somebody anybody everybody give me the motivation to keep writing my fanfics

[georgebbwbush]

the mm whatcha say snl skit is so dumb but it still makes me laugh

[dirigibleplumbing]

a PSA

no one can stop you from saying "San Fran," but please know that every time a Californian reads it they take 50pts of psychic damage

[bakafurai]

"Magier zat's not a-" 

"shhhh"

I was gonna just quickly line and colour this old doodle I did a while back, maybe some simple shading but.... it got out of hand...

[octoagentmiles]

o n e d a y r e m a i n s . . .

[exsqueezememacaroni]

Ok I give up - smut's coming out or I'm going to implode (then back to work)

Just imagine Mike coming back after a long tour - you can both take care of yourselves while apart, but the anticipation of being reunited has him in a fit and he just hasn't been up to masturbating - he practically begs you on the phone as he calls from the airport, he begs you to let him cum as soon as he walks in your door. As sweet as honey you reply, 'of course' and get yourself ready. When Mike arrives, he sees you in the hall with almost nothing on, but with cuffs and a mask in your hands. Instantly aroused, he strips as fast as he can, practically falling as he follows you into the living room. Once naked, he goes for the cuffs as if he's going to turn the tables and get you into them, but you jerk your hand back and quickly he's on his knees resigned to his fate. You gently, purring, command him to put his hands behind his back - he complies and the cuffs go on. His hair has fallen onto his face, and you smooth it back slowly with a little kiss to his neck before tying on his mask. Mike growls - low, needy, a little pissed to be in this situation if he's honest, but you press his shoulders forward and grab his balls with just the slightest bit of pressure, then press two fingers under them and back towards his asshole. The growl turns into a moan and, as you lube up your forefinger and circle his hole, it's almost... almost a whimper. He needs you so badly. You insert it slowly and feel the pressure of him around it. With your other hand you cup him, pressing on his taint. Ah! It's almost too much and he warns you he's going to cum immediately if you go any farther. You don't want that! You pull out and let go of him. Mike slumps a little when he hears you get up, but perks up when you find his lips and kiss him deeply. You stand and let him lick you, blind, but finding his way with his tongue. He gets to his target and you let the warmth and the wetness and the wonder that is Mike's tongue envelop you. He's so eager, he's so good, he knows your body and exactly what it needs. You're certain he's imagined this very moment a thousand times on the road. You tell him he has to satisfy you before he gets the same and he is almost racing to get there. You want to make him wait longer, but you can't help but shiver into an orgasm after he nibbles you in just the right place. Mike is almost confused when you pull away, but the electric shock you feel from even just the tip of his tongue is too much. You immediately put your hands on his cheeks and kiss him again telling him he's done so well. You help him stand on his feet and, starting from that perfect neck, you trace your lips and your tongue slowly down his body, lingering a little at his chest, his velvety stomach, before kneeling down and swallowing his dick right up to the base. Mike is groaning so loudly you almost laugh as you're bobbing up and down. The feel of him in your mouth, down your throat, it's immensely satisfying - you realize now you needed him too. Right when you know he's going to cum, you cup his balls once more, this time gently, just to feel them tighten. He releases with a little jerk, and he does laugh, he's so relieved. One final kiss as you untie his mask and when you look in his eyes you lose yourself in those dark pools. You focus back on him and he's asking about the cuffs...when do they come off? 'Hmm...well...' you smirk.

[ladyseidr]

me literally by myself talking out loud "if there's a scoo.ping room in the PS pizzeria and henry had the blueprints for the original and the scooper is in the basement that mike/the manger possibly isn't even supposed know abt (if we take the opening video seriously) then that means henry built the scooper (or had it built). but if the pizzeria is only supposed to last a week once it opens and the only animatr.onics who would likely use it are the rockstars and the manager possibly isn't even supposed to know about it then what is it for? why the fuck did henry build a scooper?"

[anghraine]

I'm genuinely kind of perplexed at some of the things people I don't know tag me in.

It's one thing to get "I've seen this trend and I was wondering what you think" or even "I saw a post somewhere that said blahblah, but you'd disagree, right?" It's another to get directly tagged in things that are a) tangentially related to my interests at best or b) predictably annoying.

[mxgoldenwood]

For the Artist Asks!

5, 14, and 25! 💜

YESSS thank you for asking!!

5: What’s your favorite thing to draw?

My favorite thing is honestly outfits and accessories! Every couple of years I end up making new paper-doll type drawings of a few of my characters so I can just go wild giving them lots of outfits and I ALWAYS have a blast with it. It ends up being like the Sims character builder screen with all the different outfit tabs for everyday, formal, party, PJs, etc.... except moderately more time-consuming to complete. (Gonna have to do this again sometime soon, come to think of it!)

14: Do you ever collaborate with others?

I have done it a couple times and I LOVE the process, love blending styles, sharing a goal and seeing a project come to life with another artist(s), etc.... but I'm almost always too shy to ask!! ;-; I'm making it a goal to be more outgoing, tho, so I look forward to doing more collabs in the future!

25: Do you like to draw in silence, or with music?

Most of the time I prefer to have background noise! Often I'll put on a show/movie I've already seen, or sometimes music. but also… I'm one of those folks who will pause it to shift focus for a moment, and then forget to hit play again, so then I'm sitting in dead silence hyperfixating on my canvas for like an hour at a time before I notice……

(don't tell my DM about this but I find that I often do my BEST sketching during game/RP sessions where there's some structured, goal-focused conversation happening around me that I can multi-task and jump in and out of to a certain extent.)