#pumpkin really loves her perch on the top of her cat tree

[spicedcinnamoncake]

Pins and Needles  pairing: George Weasley x American !Gryffindor Reader Summary: Who knew that the shy new kid had a way with sewing? To George, that’s pretty cool.  TW: fluffy 💕💕 2.4K Words

   You looked around your dorm and began to unpack. You came in a week after term started and you needed to unpack your things. Luckily, it was Saturday and lessons wouldn’t be a problem. Everyone was buzzing about the weekly trip to Hogsmeade in the halls, and it peeked your interest. Sure you didn’t have anyone to go with, but this could be a good way to make some friends. 

  You had just arrived in England from America, and had just started Hogwarts. Everyone was a stranger here, and you were on the lookout for some new people to hang out with. 

  You pulled a hoodie over your T-shirt and tightened the laces on your boots before locking your dorm and running downstairs into the courtyard where everybody was waiting for the sendoff. You showed McGonagall your signed permission slip and joined the group. 

  The walk was rather pleasant. You took in the scenery, all the trees with red yellow and brown leaves falling in the breeze and the sound of branches rusting against each other filled the air as you and the rest of year 5 of Hogwarts walked to Hogsmeade. 

  Hogsmeade was a cute little town, with shops and cafe’s and cobblestone streets. You walked along the cobble and followed the rest of the kids as you didn’t know the area very well. You saw a majority of people go into a place called Honeydukes. 

  From the moment you stepped inside you could tell why that place was so popular. The shelves were loaded with sweets and tricks, excited people grabbing stuff like crazy. You walked along the shelves, half of the treats you haven’t even heard of. Bertie bots and chocolate frogs and pumpkin pasties... I guess a chocolate frog sounded good. You had a few coins in your pocket, why not? 

  You picked one off the shelf and began to walk as you read the labelling. You were so distracted that you didn’t even realize the person standing in front of you...

  ‘Oof!’ You fell over on your knees, the small candy falling out of your hand. ‘Oh shoot, I am so sorry-’ 

  ‘Nah, It’s alright. Need help?’ 

  You grabbed the strangers hand and hoisted yourself up. You were met with a pair of hazel eyes and flaming red hair. This mystery guy had a spattering of freckles across his cheeks and nose. He gave you a small smile and handed you back your frog. ‘Think you dropped this.’ 

  ‘Oh, thanks.’ You took back the frog and stuffed it into your pocket. ‘Hey, I don’t think I’ve seen you before. I’m George, you?’

  ‘Oh, I’m Y/N, I’m new here.’ 

  George’s eyes widened at your accent. He grinned and fiddled with the end of his sleeve. ‘Would you want to come with me and my brother to the Three Broomsticks? It’s got the most amazing butterbeer in England.’ 

  You smiled at the offer. ‘Sure, why not?’ 

  You payed the five nuts for the frog. (You ended up getting Dumbledore) And followed George to the place he was talking about. He was ever so funny, cracking you up in no time with jokes. He told you all about Hogwarts and how you would love it there. 

  ‘So, which house are you in?’ 

  ‘Oh, I’m in Gryffindor. ‘ 

  George looked at you and beamed. ‘That’s my house as well!’ 

  You two laughed at the coincidence, finally drawing up to the Three broomsticks and going inside. You were met with the strong smell of cinnamon and coffee, and the warm air hit your skin as you went further inside. George led you to a table were a few others were sitting. Another boy who looked identical to George who turned out to be his twin Fred, another boy with red hair who was his brother Ron, a girl named Hermione and a smaller boy named Harry. 

  ‘Guys, this is Y/N, their new here. Their from America, AND their in Gryffindor.’ 

  Everyone said hello, they all seemed so friendly. You sat in between George and Hermione, who asked you tons of questions about America, which you expected might happen at your new school. 

  You all ordered Butterbeer, and Fred and George laughed as you chugged the entire mug after the first sip. George elbowed you and smirked. ‘Told you it’s good.’  You rolled you eyes and giggled. 

  From that day on, the five of you became inseparable. You always hung out, and before you knew it it was already nearing summer break. 

  ‘Ah, summer!’ You sighed as you slumped against a tree in the field you guys were hanging out in, stretching your legs out as you looked up though the green leaves. ‘I’m gonna miss you guys. Welp, at least I’ll see you guys next year.’ 

  Hermione elbowed Ron, who cleared his throat. “speaking of which, Y/N would you liked to come to the burrow this summer? Everyone does, even if it’s only for a week. Mum takes us to Diagon alley before school so we can get our stuff. It’s always fun, you should come.’ 

  You thought about it, and it did sound like fun. “sure, i’ll ask my parents, I’m sure they’d like me out of their hair for a bit.’ 

  George and Fred whooped and you smiled. This should be fun. 

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  You clutched the backpack on your shoulder and gulped. You had been so excited but now you were so nervous. What if they got sick of you? What if you became a burden?’ 

  You took a deep breath and stepped into the fireplace after hugging your parents goodbye. You erupted into green flames and in moment you found yourself in a slightly smaller fireplace. You stepped out and immediately recognized the voices of your friends. ‘Oi Fred! Y/N’s here!’ 

  George called up the stairs to his brother before rushing over to you and wrapping his arms around you. You giggled as he lifted you slightly. ‘Don’t suffocate me Georgie.’ You joked. George put you down and grinned. ‘Missed you.’ 

  You noticed a faint shade of red start to spread across his face. You didn’t get to think much of it though because of all the people that entered the living room moments later. You hugged Fred, Harry, Ron and Hermione before shaking hands with Mr. Weasley and received an even tighter hug from Mrs. Weasley. You met Percy and Ginny, who both seemed really nice. Percy a bit uptight, but you thought nothing of it. 

  ‘You’ll be sharing with Hermione and Ginny, just upstairs dear.’ Mrs. Weasley said, before rushing to the kitchen.     ‘Ok, Thanks Mrs. Weasley!’

  ‘Just call me Molly dear!’ 

  You smiled and turned to George. ‘Your mum’s really nice.’ 

  George grinned. ‘Need help with your bag?’ 

  ‘Nah, I’m good.’ 

  You followed Hermione and Ginny to Ginny’s room. It was small, but cozy. You put your bag down on your place on the floor. 

  ‘Nice room Gin! I really like it.’ 

  ‘Thanks Y/N’ 

  The three of you talked until Molly called you down to dinner. You made it official in your head that Molly Weasley had the absolute best cooking ever. The food practically melted in tour mouth, and you stared in awe as the dishes got cleaned by magic, washing themselves. The burrow is honestly the most magical place you have ever seen aside from Hogwarts. 

  The summer was amazing, You, George, Fred, Ron, Harry, Hermione and Ginny all going on walks and playing card games and having mini games of quidditch. Soon, it was already time to go to Diagon Alley. 

  ‘Hurry up Y/N, we’re just about leaving!’ Hermione said as you grabbed the big cloth bag out of your backpack. You and her hurried downstairs were everyone else was gathered. One by one, everyone erupted into green flames and arrived into the large are known as diagon alley. Shops lined the streets and there were people and children running everywhere. ‘Now children, we meet here in exactly an hour ok?’ Molly said, and everyone nodded. George grabbed hold of your arm and tugged you with him. ‘Seeing as this is your first time here, i volunteer to be your guide.’ You giggled and went with him. 

  You two walked and chatted, going in and out of stores. George goggled at how cute you looked when your face lit up at the box of kittens in one of the animal shops. You tugged George inside. Owls were on perches, rats in brass cages running on top of landings and down again, and the faint mewing of cats in the distance. 

  ‘Oh George they are so cute, don’t you think so!?” You cooed as you picked up a calico kitten who purred as you stroked it. ‘Your cute.’ George mumbled. ‘You snapped your head around, and he turned a dangerously visible shade of red. You smirked. ‘Your not so bad yourself Weasley.’ 

  You beamed as be blushed harder. You put down the cat and took his hand, leading him out of the store. You two were about to go back to the meeting place when one store caught your eye. ‘George, I need to go in there. I’ll be right out I promise.’ 

  ‘Slow down darling I’ll come with you.’ 

  You entered the store and you gawked in awe at the amount of fabric, thread, and buttons inside. You were practically in heaven. 

  You ran your hand down the different fabrics, checking the prices. ‘I didn’t know you were into sewing.’ George said, examining a cotton sheet. ‘Like sewing? Georgie my dear, sewing is my LIFE’. You tugged at the shirt you were wearing, made out of black cotton. ‘I made this last winter.’ 

  George’s eyes widened. ‘YOU made that? It’s so good!’

  You blushed at his appreciation. You picked a few pieces of fabric and paid, putting them in the bag and you and George exited the shop, meeting with everyone else. ‘Mum! Y/N’s into that sewing thing as well you know?’ 

  ‘Oh that’s interesting! What sort of stuff do you make?’ 

  You looked at your shirt and the bag in your bag. ‘I make most of my own clothes, like this shirt I’m wearing.’ 

  Molly looked amazed and you two gambled off about sewing and knitting and whatnot. George and Fred just laughed, George thought of it as cute though. He already had this itching crush for you from the moment he met you and the fact that you got on so well with his mum just made his heart flutter. 

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  It was the beginning of term, and you were now sharing a room with Hermione. Your desk was littered with scrap pieces of fabric, and scattered needles. Hermione’s was depressingly neat. 

  You were wearing a pin cushion on your arm, trying to fix the hem of your robe because it ripped when somebody knocked on the door. ‘Come in!’   

  George entered the room, his hair messed up. He must’ve just got out of quidditch you assumed. When Hermione saw who was at the door, she shut the book she was reading and stood up from her bed. ‘I’m going to go see what Harry and Ron are doing.’ 

  Once she left, you two were alone. ‘Come in, what’s up?’ You gestured towards the space next to you on your bed. George came over, propping himself up with his arm before pulling his hand away, yelping. ‘What? What’s wrong?”

  Your eyes filled with worry as George examined his hand. He picked up a small pin from the cover and handed it to you. ‘Think this belongs to you.’ 

  ‘Oh dear sorry, I’m working on my robe you see, it ripped and i was fixing it.’ You put the pin back in the pin cushion and took George’s hand into your own, gently massaging the area of impact. 

  George turned a bright shade of pink as your delicate fingers ran over his palm. ‘It’s alright Y/N.’ 

  ‘So, how was quidditch?’ You asked, resuming your work. George cleared his throat, looking shyer then usual. ‘Uh, practice was good. Speaking of which, I, uh, managed to rip my jersey on the goal post. I was wondering if you could fix it for me?’ 

  ‘Uh-huh, sure just hand it to me.’ 

  You were so engrossed in your work you didn’t even realize that George was shirtless in  front of you. You looked up when he handed you his ripped jersey. You examined the area where the rip was. ‘Oh sweetie this can be fixed in two stitches, you-’ 

  Your eyes gawked at him. When did this boy get to be so fine? You felt yourself go red, before you decided to turn it into a joke so he wouldn’t notice you being embarrassed. ‘Did you find a small hole just you could see me? Hmmm?’ You smirked, thinking you could tease him, until he said his reply:

  ‘Yes that’s exactly what I did.’ 

 You paused, needle halfway though the fabric. You looked up at him, he tried to cover himself up with his arms, his face bright red. ‘Well, I enjoy your company.’ 

  ‘Thank you.’

  ‘Also when did you get to be so dang hot?’ 

  You smirked as you saw him get even redder. ‘T-thanks.’ 

  ‘Your welcome... there you are, all fixed.’ You handed him the jersey, the hole all patched up. George slid it on, you watched the shirt over his abs. ‘Look in the right sleeve.’ 

  George turned his right sleeve inside out, only to see a tiny embroidered heart in light pink stitches. ‘Aw, that’s so cute!’  George gushed. You felt pleased. 

  ‘Well, I better get going.’ George said, standing up. ‘Awe man, leaving me already?’ You pulled a pouty-face, and you saw the nervousness in his eyes. ‘Of course I’ll stay.’

  You two talked for what seemed like hours, that is until the dinner bell rang. You helped George up, but not before he pressed a small kiss to your cheek. He left without a word after that. You stood there speechless, tracing the area where his lips had been seconds before. 

  You turned to your bed and screamed into a pillow. Oh merlin he kissed you! 

  The next day you caught him in the hall. Without saying a word, you managed to drag him into a quiet hallway, were nobody else was wandering. 

  You pressed him to a wall and kissed him. You were craving the taste of his lips for a while, and now you finally got his. George melted into you, he hitched you up by your legs, you wrapped them around his waist and you tangled your hands into his hair. You two had waited long enough for this, and this was complete and utter euphoria. 

  Once he pulled away, he smirked. ‘What is is?’ You asked. 

  ‘Oh, let’s just say that I’ve been on pins and needles waiting for this.’  

[hockeylvr59]

Carl’s Choice || Zach Aston-Reese

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

Authors Note: I think you all know how much I love ZAR’s puppy Carl by now. I’ve written a few blurbs for Zach but decided it was time to write a full length imagine for him. So I proudly present 4 times Carl chose you and 1 time he didn’t. Yes, I heavily featured Carl but Zach is in it too, lol. 

Warnings: a couple of curses

Word Count: 3,180

~~~~~~~

I.

Lately, you couldn’t tell whether it was almost Christmas or almost Memorial Day. These 60 degree December days were seriously throwing off your sense of time. Not that you were complaining...because you’d take this weather over freezing temperatures any day. In fact, you’d decided to take advantage of the weather, throwing on some workout clothes and tennis shoes before heading to one of the many parks in downtown Pittsburgh. 

About 20 minutes into your walk you’d realized one of your shoes had come untied and you knelt down at the edge of the walkway to tie the laces back up. It was as you were adjusting your pants back down over the tops of your shoes that a high pitched bark sounded in your ears and suddenly an energetic dog was racing right at you. As you pushed yourself to your feet, you felt him quickly dance around your legs, and from off in the distance, you could hear a man yelling at the dog. 

“CARL!” You heard the man yell again as he jogged closer. As your eyes took in the broad shape of the dog’s owner, your brain processed the name and the breed of the dog still dancing around you and all at once, everything clicked. 

Squatting back down you let Carl sniff you quickly before he started licking you, attacking you with kisses. 

“CARL!” The man repeated, now just a few feet away from you. This time Carl paused and looked over towards his dad, his tail continuing to wag excitedly. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what’s gotten into him.” He explained and it was now that you noticed the empty leash in his hands. “I had him leashed and then suddenly he was just taking off towards you. I think maybe he thought you were hurt.” As he rambled, he moved to hook the leash back onto Carl’s collar. 

“It’s okay.” You insisted, standing back up once again, your hands settling onto your hips. “He meant well.” A smile was growing on your face as you appreciated the man standing in front of you glaring slightly at his dog. “And it’s not every day you get kisses from your favorite Instagram pup.” You added, your lips pursing with mirth. Carl yipped happily as Zach’s brows raised, his brain processing your words. Suddenly his free hand was rubbing at the back of his neck and you could tell he felt slightly uncomfortable. 

“I should get back to my walk now that Carl is satisfied I’m okay.” You declared, not wanting this to become a big deal. “Uh...it was nice to meet both of you, good luck with the season…” After shooting Zach what you hoped was a warm smile you turned on your heel to continue down the pathway. The moment you started walking, Carl whined loudly and repeatedly until you saw him appear beside you again, Zach jogging behind him. 

“Mind if we walk with you?” Zach breathed, his voice somewhat hesitant. Your pulse skipped a beat as you watched him glance between you and Carl. Being back in close proximity to you, Carl had settled and his tail was wagging once again. 

“Sure.” You eventually agreed. Normally you would be hesitant about a man inserting himself into your walk, but it was the middle of the day, and being who he was you doubted that you were in any danger. In fact, it felt far more likely that you would trip or sprain your ankle than that Zach would cause you any harm. And since you didn’t feel like you were in any danger, having company while you continued what you were already doing didn’t feel like too much of a hardship. 

As you walked, Carl continued to yip happily, swerving to brush against your legs every so often. Eventually, you reached a point where you needed to rest, keeping up with a professional athlete and an energetic dog was just too much. As you flopped down into a patch of grass, Zach stood above you, his expression much more relaxed than it had previously been. At the same time, Carl came over to kiss your face again before plopping himself down at your side. 

“You know. I can’t remember the last time he was so calm during a walk.” Zach mentioned, his hands tucked into his pockets. “Usually he’s wanting to chase every squirrel, investigate every tree.” It was left unspoken how much Carl seemed to like you but when you finally made your way back to the edge of the park you watched as once again Zach rubbed his hand against the back of his neck. 

“Could I uh...could I get your number?” He questioned. “So maybe we could meet up and walk together again?” 

After tapping your number into his phone, you bent down to pet Carl one final time, a giggle falling from your lips as Carl perched himself against your legs for more kisses. 

Of all of the people Carl could have chosen to approach in the park, he had chosen you. 

II.

When the weather allowed, and even sometimes when it really didn’t, you found yourself joining Zach and Carl on walks. The more time you spent together, the more open Zach became and if you were honest with yourself, those walks were always the highlight of your week. 

On a Saturday afternoon in early February, you found yourself parking along the curb of a well-off neighborhood, a small gift bag in your hand, and a large crockpot of meatballs tucked against your chest. The moment you reached the front yard, you were thrown off balance as Carl bolted across the lawn. Zach’s booming laugh reached your ears almost immediately and you murmured gratefully at him as he moved to take the food from your hands. With your hands now free apart from the gift bag, you squatted down in front of Carl, accepting all of his kisses as you pet him behind his ears. 

“And who is the sweetest birthday boy?” You cooed. Carl yipped in response and you leaned forward to kiss his head. “Yes Carl, I know. You’re the sweetest birthday boy.” When Carl started to nose against the gift bag you giggled and shook your head. “You can’t have that now, that’s for later.” You chastised. Instead, you dipped your hand into the pocket of your coat pulling out a peanut butter, pumpkin, and blueberry cookie that you had made for him for Christmas and which Zach had raved about him loving. Upon smelling the treat, Carl immediately started nosing at your hand and you shook your head. 

“Sit Carl.” You directed. When he complied, you opened your hand, allowing him access to the treat. “Good boy.”

The clearing of a throat drew your attention up and you watched as Zach gazed down at you. 

“Uh...Kelsey wants to know if she needs to do anything to the food you brought?” He murmured. 

“Oh uh...they just need to be plugged in to keep warm.” You responded, a shiver running through your body. “I’ll uh...I’ll go help her.” You added. Zach summoned Carl to follow the two of you inside and he introduced you to his teammates as you slipped your coat and shoes off and made your way through the house to the kitchen. 

As he handed you a drink a few minutes later, his hand fell to rest against your lower back. 

“You know you didn’t have to bring anything.” He spoke softly, his mouth just inches from your ear. 

“And you know my mama raised me better than that.” You replied, sipping from the drink and smiling as the fruity concoction hit your tongue. “Though you should probably try them before you think too highly of me.” You added. 

And try them Zach did. In fact, he downed at least one whole entire plate of them himself. You mingled for a bit with the wives and girlfriends of Zach’s teammates before finally settling with a plate of your own onto the living room floor while a hockey game played on tv. You’d been seated for less than five minutes when Carl jumped down from his spot next to Zach to rest his head on your lap. Within minutes, he was zonked draped halfway over your body, and the fact that he had left his dad so quickly to snuggle you caught the attention of everyone there. 

“ZAR bud, I think you’ve been replaced,” Rusty commented, a smile on his face. 

“You’re not even your own dog’s favorite,” Jake added teasingly. 

Zach just shrugged, an unreadable expression on his face. Carl didn’t move from his spot on your lap the entire game, and he’d only stirred when you ran your finger up and down his nose before murmuring that it was time for treats. 

Watching Carl dig into his birthday cake before playing with the stuffed penguin you’d gotten him filled your heart with so much happiness. He was such a sweet and special puppy that even as a cat lover you couldn’t help but adore him. 

As the sun set, you knew you needed to get home, though you didn’t really want to leave. Carrying the now cleaned crockpot, Zach walked you to your car. 

“So I’ll see you in a few days for our walk?” You questioned, the idea having been mentioned earlier in the day. When Zach shook his head negatively, you were confused but figured he’d forgotten about some preexisting plan. “Okay then.” You declared. “Goodnight.” 

“Wait. Fuck.” Zach breathed, his hand reaching out and falling to your hip as you leaned against the side of your car. With your lip tugged between your teeth, you waited for him to say something more. 

“Instead of a walk…” He started. “I want…” He looked nervous as he spoke and it caused your stomach to fill with butterflies. “Let me take you out. On a date.” He requested, his fingers flexing against your hip. 

Though you hadn’t seen it coming, you couldn’t deny that the thought of it had crossed your mind once or twice before. 

“I’d like that.” You agreed, leaning up to press a quick kiss to Zach’s cheek, his scruff creating a tickling sensation. “But are you sure you want to take me out when I’m Carl’s favorite?” You joked. Zach’s eyes went a shade darker and he chuckled softly. 

“He’s got good taste. I don’t blame him.” 

III. 

Being with Zach brought a new light to your life. While you had your struggles and disagreements like all couples do, being with him just felt easy. There was nothing you loved more than curling up with him and Carl on the couch at the end of a long day. 

Even though you’d only been together three months, there was a part of you that felt certain that he was the one. So when Zach asked you to go home with him after the team was eliminated from the playoffs, you immediately agreed. 

It wasn’t until you reached New York that you realized just how much of an accent Zach had and you couldn’t help but tease him about it. Just as quickly he threw back how bad your Pittsburghese was and you conceded knowing that he was right. While the teasing was a momentary distraction from the nerves you were feeling at meeting Zach’s family, the moment it ended, those nerves crept right back up. 

As you pulled up to Zach’s childhood home, you glanced back at where Carl was asleep in the backseat. Gathering your bag from the trunk, despite Zach’s protest, you watched as he tried to get Carl up and out of the car with no success. Carl’s eyes were open but he remained sprawled out across the backseat, no intention of going anywhere. 

“Carl, come,” Zach commanded, snapping his fingers at his dog as he worked to gather everything else from the car. A loud sigh escaped your boyfriend’s throat when Carl failed to obey. It had been a long drive and you knew Zach was tired so you rubbed your hand along his back. 

“Babe...why don’t you start inside.” You murmured before turning your attention to the pup in the backseat. 

“Come on Carl...car time is over.” You instructed and immediately Carl lifted his head before jumping from the backseat to stretch, pacing around your legs before trotting up the driveway. Closing the car, you watched as Zach let Carl inside before meeting you halfway up the driveway. 

“I hate you.” He grumbled, again reaching for your bag which this time you let him take. 

“You love me.” You replied, kissing his cheek before taking his hand in yours. As you turned to walk away he tugged you back to him. 

“You’re right. I do. Even if my dog listens to you and not me.” 

IV. 

From the first night you’d started staying over at Zach’s, Carl had decided to make himself at home in the spot between yours and Zach’s feet. In the six-plus months you’d been together if Carl was in bed with the two of you, that was where he laid. When it was just you in Zach’s bed, Carl chose to sleep against his dad’s pillow. 

So when he started sleeping pressed against your abdomen, it had struck you as odd. But you blew it off as one of his weird dog moods. Plus, it wasn’t like you didn’t enjoy more cuddle time with the dog you’d grown to love almost as much as his owner. 

You were in the kitchen of Zach’s apartment making dinner while Zach paced around the apartment talking to his Aunt out in California on the phone. She must have asked about Carl because Zach started talking about his latest adventures before bringing up his new favorite spot to sleep. 

You hadn’t realized he was on speakerphone until Zach stepped into the kitchen behind you, stealing a piece of cooked chicken from the cutting board beside you. 

“Zach honey...I don’t mean to pry but I have to ask…” His Aunt’s voice floated through the speaker. “Is it possible y/n is pregnant?” 

You nearly cut yourself on the knife in your hand as your body froze, the knife clattering onto the cutting board. 

“I only mention it because it’s possible that Carl has sensed a change in the scent of her hormones and has moved spots due to an instinct to protect the baby.” 

The room was silent as your brain spun, overwhelmed by her words. 

“I uh... I gotta go...I’ll call you back.” Zach’s voice mumbled as the room started to spin slightly. As you wobbled, Zach’s hands wrapped around your waist and he pulled you back against his chest. Just as quickly, Carl himself raced into the room from where he had been sleeping on the couch and he nosed at your legs until eventually your body steadied itself, leaning back against Zach’s body. 

After a moment, Zach scooped you up and carried you to the couch, his lips dropping to your forehead. 

“Zach...I…” You weren’t even 100% certain that it was your voice speaking the words. As Carl jumped up beside you, Zach’s hand moved to cradle your jaw and he pressed a soft kiss to your lips. 

“No...don’t.” He whispered. “I’ll go get a test.” He declared. 

Twenty minutes later, dinner was completely forgotten as you sat on the couch, Carl’s nose tucked against your stomach while three positive pregnancy tests stared up at you from their spot on the coffee table. Mindlessly, your fingers ran over Carl’s spine as you watched Zach sitting next to you, his head in his hands from shock. 

“We’re having a baby.” He eventually breathed, and when he looked up you saw that his eyes were filled with tears. “Fuck...I’m gonna be a dad.” Still uncertain about how he felt about that declaration your breath was slow and shaky. Then Zach leaned over and his lips crashed down onto yours. Upon pulling away, he glanced down at Carl, his fingers sliding from your neck down to the flat expanse of your belly. 

“You’re the greatest dog ever bud. Good work.” 

This time when Zach kissed you again, you could feel him smiling into it, both his and your own tears wetting your cheeks. “We’re having a baby.” It was one of the most amazing phrases you had ever heard. 

+

Through the entirety of your pregnancy, Carl had insisted on sleeping as close to your baby bump as possible. Sometimes it was inconvenient, but it was sweet all the same. In the time you’d been together, Carl had certainly become more your dog than Zach’s but your boyfriend never really seemed to mind. 

When you’d brought your daughter home, she’d started sleeping in the bassinet on your side of the bed. And Carl had remained by your side, though he shifted further down the bed toward your feet. You’d expected that now that Lindsey was here that Carl would resume his original sleeping positions, either between yours and Zach’s feet or at Zach’s pillow. 

And when you’d placed Lindsey in her crib in the nursery for the first time while Zach was on the road, Carl had indeed been tucked up against Zach’s pillow when you crawled into bed. 

You’d stirred sometime around 2:30 in the morning according to a glance at your phone. You’d expected to be up for a feeding by now but you hadn’t heard anything from the baby monitor. Immediately panic flooded through your veins and you almost jumped out of bed. A glance back revealed that Carl was also nowhere to be seen and that caused another wave of fear. 

Racing to your daughter’s nursery you leaned over the crib and immediately almost cried in relief. Lindsey was doing just fine, her tiny fists were balled up above her head as she slept, soft snores like her dad spilling from her lips. 

As your heartbeat returned to its normal rhythm, your eyes drifted further down the crib. There, curled up in a ball with his snoot resting on your daughter’s foot was Carl, peering up at you in the dark. A light laugh spilled from your throat and you reached down to pet him gently. 

“I guess you have a new favorite girl don’t you boy?” Carl didn’t move but it was clear from the look in his eyes that he was going to do whatever it took to keep her safe. 

By choosing you that day in the park, Carl had given you everything you could have ever imagined. Now he has chosen your daughter. Chosen to protect her, chosen to love her just as much as he loves you. He was truly the best dog and you were so grateful for the day he had bounded into your life. 

“Love you, Carl.” You murmured, petting him once more before returning to bed, certain that Lindsey was in the best of hands. 

[writethehousedown]

Things Are Really Cool (In Nazareth) (Ninex)- Ortega

a/n: wow hi, welcome to whatever the hell this is? this is a sort of a kind of a n19f verse/masp verse crossover set some years after the originals take place (but you don’t need to have read either to read this), borne out of the semi-autobiographical experience of my last few weeks at work trying to teach five year olds mid-pandemic. basically Nina’s a stressed primary teacher and Monet is her primary teacher girlfriend. this is fulfilling the prompt “Nice” only ten days late and also probably has one million and one typos in my haste to get it out in time for at least Christmas xo regardless, i hope u all enjoy and in the words of boyband JLS, “mewwy cwistmas”.

disclaimer: there are a couple of lines i’ve yoinked out of tv shows here- “lesbian having a panic attack” is adapted from Kimmy Schmidt and the “what are you, forty?” ones are from Always Sunny. leave me alone i’m too tired to be funny at this time of year xo

fic summary: When Nina’s headteacher asks her to pull a Nativity play out of thin air with only a week to organise it, Nina is simply too nice to say no. As a consequence, she is blindly oblivious to what her girlfriend Monet is planning, with useless lesbian results.

Nina knew she was a people pleaser. Always had been, always would be. She was simply too nice to say no to anyone. She had never been one to say no to anything.

She’d never taken the last remaining teabag for herself way back at uni; she’d always elected to leave it for Brooke or Yvie, knowing that Brooke would be grumpy all day if she didn’t have her morning cup of tea and not wanting to deal with the caffeine crash Yvie would experience if she made coffee as a substitute.

It had even started way further back in her life than her twenties. The most rebellious thing she’d ever done in high school was to pull out one of the cables of her German teacher’s computer at the back so she’d spend the whole lesson fixing it instead of teaching their class. In Primary, she was the stereotypical, insufferable goody-two-shoes: didn’t ever lose a minute of Golden Time, finished both her set tasks and the extension work that accompanied them perfectly, and was the worst kind of tell-tale.

(At the time, she thought her teachers loved that- the fact that she acted as their five-year-old corporate spy, ready to report any wrongdoings to headquarters. Contrarily, now that she was a teacher to five year olds, Nina thought that if she heard one more story about who skipped who in the line she would climb very slowly and very carefully into the staffroom microwave and blow herself into fifty million partially-heated bits.)

So when her headteacher ducked her head into her classroom on a cold, wet, rainy Wednesday after all the kids had been dispatched home, Nina panicked. Her eyes darted up to the displays on her walls. Fuck, there were still Halloween pumpkins blu-tacked up there. There was, so far, nothing on her December learning journey wall. And there were still Very Hungry Caterpillars made from bottle tops pushed into dollops of paint stuck to bright green backing paper which had been there since the kids’ first week at school back in August.

Well. Red and green were Christmassy colours. Right?

But Mrs Del Rio didn’t seem all that interested in the state of her wall displays. She’d come to ask Nina if she could film a Nativity play with her class.

“It’s for the parents really,” Bianca had rolled her eyes, folding her arms in her usual no-nonsense way. “Just something they can watch and share with the families since we can’t do a real Nativity. It doesn’t need to be anything big- just a few songs…one, two…say four. And then just have the kids in their costumes with a couple of lines. With a backdrop, y’know, there doesn’t need to be props. Just the baby Jesus…the gifts for the three Kings….maybe a couple of no vacancy signs for the innkeepers…that sort of thing. Just for before we finish up term. Maybe if it could be done by next Friday. That okay?”

And Nina, because she was a people pleaser, had nodded and said yes! and of course! and Bianca had nodded curtly at her in the frostiest thank-you the world had ever seen before leaving.

It had only taken the time in which Bianca’s heels had slowly disappeared from hearing distance for the reality of the situation to sink in for Nina. She’d just agreed to do a whole Nativity play, with songs, and costumes, and props, in the space of eight days.

She was going to be sick like little Jack had done that day he’d come into class and projectile-vomited halfway onto the carpet and halfway into Nina’s outstretched hands.

Nina was so consumed by the all-encompassing panic that she didn’t even flinch when there was a loud, jaunty knock at her classroom door.

“High Court Enforcement,” came a loud, brash voice, Nina finally turning to see who was there with glazed eyes. Willam leant against the doorframe, her messy blonde waves falling over the shoulders of her dark blue jumper like curly vines. She was the only teacher who could match the sass levels of the Year 6s and was a colleague that Nina both loved and feared. Loved because she was straight-talking and blunt and altogether hilarious, but feared because her girlfriend was the deputy head of the school and anything Nina said to her would definitely be reported back as gossip.

Also because she was, for all intents and purposes, a pint-pot riot.

“Nina. Nina. Nina,” Willam said repeatedly, her voice monotone and her persistence irritating. Nina mumbled something out.

“What?”

Nina raked her hands through her shock of frizzy blonde curls and sighed, her stress levels already rising. “I said I’m a lesbian having a panic attack.”

“Oh, that’s a mood. I was sent round to do the collection for the support staff but I’ve already spent forty minutes chatting to Alyssa instead of doing what I was asked. Got a grand total of a fiver so far,” Willam shrugged blithely, coming into Nina’s classroom and perching on one of the tiny munchkin-sized tables. “What’s up?”

The pressure-cooker that her mind was rapidly becoming told Nina to throw caution to the wind and vent, so she told Willam everything in a series of babbles barely comprehensible in the English language.

“So you’ve just agreed to doing a full Nativity video in the space of a week?” Willam cocked her head, pulling a confused face. “Why didn’t you just tell Bianca to fuck off?”

Nina paused, feeling all her panic momentarily leave her body as she fixed Willam with a glare. “Are you expecting me to answer that?”

“No, no. Shit, wouldn’t it have been amazing if you had, though? What d’you think would’ve happened? Maybe she’d’ve shouted so loud at you her lungs would’ve just exploded.”

Nina couldn’t help but blurt out a small laugh. “That’s way too dramatic. She wouldn’t even fire me on the spot because that would mean management having to go in and cover my class tomorrow while they tried to find my replacement.”

Nina regretted the small barb at their management team as soon as it was out, but Willam seemed nonplussed.

“Yeah. Court’s way too impatient to deal with your lil’ rugrats.”

“I’m too impatient to deal with them. I’m too impatient to deal with them on a day to day basis. How I’m going to teach them four Christmas songs in the space of a week, fuck knows.”

Willam cocked her head again, her smile becoming patient. “Well if anyone can do it, it’s you.”

Willam’s words were a small source of comfort to Nina. Suddenly everything seemed doable. She matched her colleague’s smile, glad she’d arrived in that moment. “Thanks, Willam.”

As soon as her words were out, she saw the small, playful twinkle in Willam’s eye. “Because nobody else would’ve been mad enough to agree to the damn thing.”

***

Getting her class sorted and organised for the day couldn’t really be likened to herding cats. No, this process was far more chaotic than that. At half past nine each day what could only be described as a minor tsunami of children hit Nina’s classroom: throwing their jackets into the designated tubs with wild abandon and subsequently knocking anything and everything off her adjacent desk, unloading every possible snack in their lunchboxes into their trays and Nina’s pleas for them to only take one snack out falling on deaf ears, spilling their water bottles and getting the zips on their jackets stuck and wanting to tell Nina a billion and one things that seemed to have happened in the 18 hours they had spent outwith her care.

During the month of December this chaos only intensified. Hats, scarves and gloves littered the classroom floor as they fell off the kids like baubles off a dead Christmas tree, shrieks filled the air as they discovered a new chocolate in the advent calendar, and at least half the class surrounded Nina like festive zombies as they all battled to win the competition of “Who can tell Miss West about what their elf on the shelf had got up to overnight the loudest”.  

Nina hammered the little bell she kept on her desk with the palm of her hand, stress levels already rising. “Okay, Reception! Jackets in tubs, snacks in trays and bums on carpet!”

As her class giggled about their teacher’s use of the word “bum”, Nina sat down in her wheely chair and waited for them all to join her on the little strip of carpet in front of her smartboard. It was moments like these where she’d be hit with a sort of out of body experience; she was someone’s teacher, she was this class’ first teacher. She was sitting in front of her class waiting to take the register and start their day. It was slightly overwhelming, even though she’d been doing the job for a number of years now.

Eventually her kids were all organised and she’d taken the register and made sure they all had a lunch to eat that day. Nina made sure to put on her best excited face as she prepared to tell them about the Nativity.

“Right, Reception!” she said, injecting lots of mystery into her voice like a storyteller. “I have got some very exciting news for you all today!”

Their little faces all grew equally excited as they were expectant, and Nina’s heart almost popped. Just then, Harry, a boy with enough gel in his hair to single-handedly keep Brylcreem in business for a year and huge bottle-top glasses’ hand went up.

“Yes, Harry?”

The boy bounced on the carpet, incredibly eager. “Can I tell you what my elf did last night?”

Ten more hands immediately shot up, and Nina’s heart sank. Great.

But she was still teaching four and five year olds and this was truly the most important thing in their little lives, so she fixed a bright smile on her face and tilted her head inquisitively. “What did your elf do?”

Harry was now sitting on his knees, towering over the other children and threatening to knock himself over with every passing second as he swayed in the nonexistent breeze. “He did a poop in my Dad’s shoes!”

The rest of the class shrieked with laughter in response. Internally, Nina was rapidly reaching her wit’s end. Love it. A bit of toilet humour to start off the Nativity rehearsals. Great. Exactly what’s needed. “Oh my goodness! What a cheeky elf!”

“He did three poops! And you know what else? They were cola jellybeans! I ate them!”

Sophie, a girl with long ginger hair in a low ponytail and a gap in her smile where two baby teeth once lived, gasped in horror. “You ate the elf’s poop?!”

The rest of the class fell about laughing. Nina had to get control back of the situation.

“Well thank you very much for sharing, Harry! Okay everyone, let’s pop our hands down.”

There were still ten hands waving proudly in the air like rebellious flags.

“We can do more elf stories at the end of the day if there’s time!” Nina lied. There would not be time. There was never time. But it placated most of her class enough for them to follow the instruction. There was, however, one remaining hand up which belonged to Jason, a boy with hair so platinum blonde it seemed otherworldly.

“It’s not an elf story! I’ve got a question,” he insisted, shouting out despite the fact his hand was already up. Nina relented, just in case he did have something important to ask. Maybe he was about to pee himself. Highly likely with the Reception kids.

Jason, pleased as punch that Nina was allowing him to speak, put his hand down. “Can I tell you a rhyming word I’ve just thought of?”

Nina’s smile grew all the more gritted, and the muscles in her face all the more tense. This was going to be the longest week she had experienced in living memory.

***

Nina would never get tired of living with Monet. The sound of her singing as the shower provided a backing track, the unholy racket she seemed to make when she cooked (a symphony of swearing, the banging of kitchen utensils, and the clattering of saucepans and baking trays). The smell of the Dior Sauvage she used instead of perfume and the Cantu hair custard she combed through her hair after she washed it. The fact that Nina could get a cuddle from her any time she wanted and the soft squash of her arms around her.

But living with Monet was best at Christmastime. The endless arguments they got into about their Christmas decorations and what looked best where, both stemming from a fierce loyalty to their own family traditions. The way they’d write their Christmas cards to their friends with a Christmas film playing in the background, and the way Monet would tease her about having such picture-perfect, font-like, primary-teacher handwriting. The way Monet would get too excited in the supermarket and load party food into Nina’s shopping basket like a child trying to sneak chocolate.

Even though Nina was completely exhausted, she still felt herself smile as she turned her key in the lock and heard her girlfriend loudly singing along with Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree, paired with the blast of the extractor fan.

“Hello?” Nina sing-songed as she closed the door shut, shedding her heavy jacket and her scuffed trainers and her backpack full of jotters that had been haphazardly stuffed in as she left work.

“Hello!” Monet chirped back, in what had become their tradition since moving in together all those years ago. “Your timing’s perfect, I just finished dinner.”

“Ooh. What is for dinner?”

Monet gestured to the pile of grated cheese, pan of bubbling baked beans, and loaf of white bread. “Beans on toast.”

Nina snorted and leaned against the counter. “Wow, don’t I have the most perfect domestic housewife! That must’ve taken, what…two hours?”

Monet reached over and squeezed her side, eliciting a yelp that would probably give their downstairs neighbours the wrong idea. “Shady bitch. It’s this or two rice cakes that’ve been in the cupboard for so long I swear they’re turning fossilised.”

“No, I’m kidding. Of course I’m hungry, thanks hun. I’ll make dinner tomorrow,” Nina promised, sliding into one of their second-hand wooden dining chairs as Monet plated up.

“No you won’t,” Monet frowned. “You look dead. What’re your kids doing to you, beating you with their tiny little chairs?”

“The fucking Nativity,” Nina sighed, pausing to thank Monet as she placed two slices of golden toast covered with beans and flakes of grated cheese down in front of her. Admittedly it did look like absolute heaven.

“Have you told Bianca to piss off yet?” Monet scowled, stabbing her toast so hard she threatened to break the plate in two.

“What kind of fantasy-land school do you work at where you can tell your headteacher to piss off and she actually listens?” Nina cocked an eyebrow at her, and Monet shrugged in agreement as she chewed a mouthful. “No, of course not. I’m going to make it happen, though, even if it kills me. We started learning the songs today, which you would think was a simple enough endeavour. Except my class, who usually can’t shut up if their lives depend on it, have all the singing volume and skill of one of Yvie and Scarlet’s cat’s chew toys. They don’t even sound like cats being strangled, that’d probably be louder. It’s like trying to have a sing-song with a room full of laryngitis patients. Except it’s not a room, because apparently we’re not allowed to sing inside because of covid. But I can teach Phonics and the kids can all make the ‘p’ sound at me until their hearts’ content and shower me with their spit like the world’s shittiest production of Singin’ In The Rain? Anyway, we have to rehearse outside. In December. I think my feet actually fell off.”

As Nina finally finished what had unintentionally become a fully-fledged rant, Monet attempted to compose herself as she wiped away a small tear of laughter from her eye and clutched at her belly. Nina watched as her girlfriend took a few deep breaths, then fixed her with a humoured grin. “But apart from all that, how was your day?”

Nina stuck her tongue out at her in response. “Shut up. How was yours?”

Monet rolled her eyes as she speared a bean. “Awful. Tried to assess time with my class today. God I love them, Neens, but they’re so bad, how can they be that bad?”

“If anyone can help them progress, it’s you,” Nina smiled encouragingly, only getting a shaken head in reply.

“No, I can’t. Nobody can. They’re beyond help. Some of the answers I got today wouldn’t even be believable if they were part of some TV comedy show. What month is Christmas in? ‘Santa’. The kid answered Santa. How many months are there in a year? ‘Sixty six’. How many days are there in a week? ‘Two’. TWO!” Monet cried, outraged. Nina couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled up in her throat, and Monet pointed warningly at her in response. “Don’t you dare laugh. This is my reality.”

“Hey, you laughed at my Nativity nightmare!” Nina giggled, to which Monet chuckled guiltily. Nina paused to swipe a bit of toast around the plate with her fork, mopping up any stray tomato sauce. When she looked up from her plate, she saw Monet tapping at her phone. Nina frowned disapprovingly. “Hey. No phones at the table.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Monet apologised quickly, though didn’t put her phone down yet. “Monique’s just sent me a screenshot of her friend that’s getting engaged. Look at the damn size of this ring.”

Monet turned her phone to show Nina. Pictured was a diamond the size of a small Pacific nation and a band encrusted with tiny gems on the finger of somebody she’d never met. Nina couldn’t help the way she screwed her face up, which made Monet blurt a laugh in response. “Not a fan, then?”

Nina pulled a face in thought. She was sure that kind of ring made some girls happy, but to her it just seemed tacky and over-the-top, not to mention heavy. “I’m sure she likes it, but I wouldn’t want something that huge. Imagine working in a Reception class with that?! Play-dough stuck in all the little crevices. And Jesus, what if you lost it? Nah, it would stress me out owning that. I would just want one simple little gold band and one singular tiny diamond. Much less of a burden.”

Monet snorted a laugh as she finished her last mouthful of dinner. “You are the only girl I’ve ever met that would consider an engagement ring a burden. Christ on a crucifix.”

“Well!” Nina protested, before realising she didn’t really have anything else to defend herself with. Then, she narrowed her eyes at her girlfriend playfully, kicking her under the table. “Why’re you so interested in my engagement ring opinions, anyway? You asking?”

Monet chuckled as she put her phone face-down on the table. “Bold of you to assume I can afford council tax, never mind a diamond.”

Nina smiled, shrugging in agreement. “Yeah, fair. What should we do tonight? I have Maths jotters to mark but then that’s me done.”

Monet tilted her head, her expression thoughtful. “I would say fucking our shit days out but I don’t even have the energy to operate a vibrator.”

Nina almost choked on her food as she laughed. “Christ, that’s a mood. Finish dinner, pyjamas, rewatch The Office for the ninety billionth time then bed at 7pm?”

“Sounds good, babe,” Monet smiled, lifting her glass of water up to cheers with as if it was sparkling wine.

***

“Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way! Oh McFun it is to ride in a waffle sofen sleigh, HEY! Jingle bells, Jin-”

“Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah,” Nina cut in, waving her hands frantically and stopping the twenty-three five and four year olds that had previously been singing their little kidney bean-sized lungs out. “What are the words?”

Her class stared back at her as if she’d just asked her what twenty-eight times thirteen was. Although Jeremiah, who was already working at Year 5 level, could probably have worked that out given enough time.

“Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh,” Nina said, rhythmically and clearly. “You try.”

The children all parroted it back to her in their little voices, word-perfect. Thank God, thought Nina. Jingle Bells seemed to be the only song they recognised, so if they turned out to not know it after all then Nina would very probably need an inhaler despite the fact she wasn’t at all asthmatic.

“Let’s try it with the music!” Nina said cheerfully, making sure the bluetooth speaker she’d brought outside was still on.

“Miss West,” a small voice piped up belonging to Amber, the human embodiment of a whine. “I’m cold!”

“We’ll get inside soon!” Nina replied patiently. “Just let’s practise it one more time!”

“I’m cold too,” piped up Joshua, Amber’s male counterpart.

“I’m freezing,” Amber offered again.

“I know, it’s very cold outside!” Nina smiled sympathetically, even though her teeth were gritted. “But we can’t do our singing inside because of the virus!”

“Why not?” Amber pouted.

Nina didn’t really know. The answer was because of the care inspectorate guidelines, but that was incredibly far beyond the realms of a five-year-old’s comprehension. Just then, an idea struck her.

“Well we need to sing our songs outside so that Santa can hear them when he’s taking his sleigh out for a test drive!” she said animatedly. The wide eyes and ohhhh-s she received in reply made her feel like a genius. Move over, Steven Hawking. “Okay, one more time with Jingle Bells. Nice and loud for Santa!”

“Miss West?”

Nina blinked slowly and heavily, taking a small breath before answering the newest child that demanded her attention. “Yes, Sophie?”

“I’m cold.”

“I’m cold!! We’re all cold!!” Nina replied quickly, just that shade away from snapping so that her class knew she meant business. “We’re doing the song one more time and then we’re going inside! So nice big smiles, nice loud voices, and here…we…go!”

Nina pressed play on the song before any more children could regale her with tales of how their body temperatures had dropped to that of a snowman’s.

“Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!” they all enthusiastically sang. “Oh McFun it is to ride in a waffle sofen sleigh!”

Nina rubbed so hard at her tired eyes that she thought they might disappear into her skull. She was momentarily glad of the fact that she didn’t have a teaching assistant to help her, as to have any other adult witness this would be embarrassing in the extreme.

Just then she noticed around five parents queued up at the nursery adjacent to the playground, watching with wry smiles on their faces as they waited for their children.

“One more time!” Nina cried, as she stopped the music with freezing cold hands.

***

“So Nina, when you gonna wife your girlfriend?”

Nina very nearly spat out her tea, a horrifying milky brown hurricane only just avoided. She hadn’t been expecting to answer deep, meaningful life questions in the staffroom during a lunch hour, but Willam was the human incarnation of petrol on a campfire and with her around things were always in danger of going from zero to a hundred very quickly. To Nina’s relief Courtney was also in the staffroom, and she whipped around from the countertop and gave her girlfriend daggers.

“Willam!” Courtney chastised her in a hiss that Nina wasn’t quite sure was meant to be audible. Willam only gave her an incredulous glare, affronted that she seemed to be the voice of reason in the conversational chaos.

“What?! Just askin’. I mean you’re what…twenty-nine? Twenty eight?”

“Twenty-six,” Nina replied. She was now at the age where being assumed she was older than she was was a curse, not a blessing. (If she’d told seventeen-year-old Nina that one day she would be disappointed at no longer being ID’d for wine at Sainsburys she’d have laughed in her face.)

“Exactly. That’s wifeing age. Mid to late twenties.”

“Hey, I passed that stage long ago, where the hell’s my ring?“ Courtney asked Willam, stirring the coffee she’d poured into one of the many, many “World’s Best Teacher!” mugs that littered the staffroom cupboards. Willam responded by turning around in her chair and positioning her pencil skirt-clad ass in the air.

“Right here, bitch!”

“Christ Almighty,” Courtney turned away from her, rolling her eyes so hard they looked like little spheric dice. As Willam gave her best impression of a seal on laughing gas, Nina cast her eyes over to Sasha who was sitting at the other end of the staffroom. As they caught each others’ eyes they shared a long-suffering smile that mourned the death of peace and quiet.

Nina was glad the conversation had been diverted from the subject of her perceived lack of marriage plans. Until Sasha opened her mouth, that is.

“I wouldn’t worry, Nina. Me and Shea haven’t had that conversation either. I mean we’d both love to, but there’s more important stuff for us right now, you know? We’re saving for a house and I think we’d rather live in a place we’ve chosen for the foreseeable future than just having one singular big lavish day.”

“It’s all about what you want to do with the person you love the most, isn’t it? Not just doing what society wants you to do,” Courtney chipped in, her voice warm and kind. “Like me and Willam used to be total party girls before we got our shit together. And now, like…there’s nothing I’d rather do of a weekend than curl up with her on the sofa and get all cosy with a film and a blanket and a cup of tea.”

Willam scoffed affectionately. “That’s your ideal weekend plan? What are you, forty?”

“Yes? As are you?” Courtney replied incredulously. Nina heard Sasha snort in her chair. As she turned her gaze back to the other two girls she realised that Willam was still looking at her expectantly. Nina sank back into her seat, a little reserved.

“It’s not really something we’ve spoken about? Well…no, we have spoken about it, obviously,” she babbled, watching as Willam took on the look of someone witnessing a victim of cardiac arrest. “Like we both want to get married. To each other, of course. But teaching is just such a busy job all the time and…you know, we only bought our flat last Summer and…I don’t know, it’s nice not to have everything happen all at once, right?”

Courtney nodded emphatically in agreement. “Of course! And I mean, if she asked, you’d say yes, right?”

Nina had to stop herself from pulling a face. How am I having this conversation with my boss? “Well, yeah. God, I couldn’t imagine life without her at all.”

Willam pretended to gag, which Nina thought was pretty rich from the woman who had begun the entire conversation. Courtney seemed to pick up on her girlfriend’s distaste.

“I don’t think Willam has ever said anything that cute about me!”

Willam turned around to look at her girlfriend, disbelief on her face. “Yeah, I only left my damn husband for you. Fuck me, right?”

Nina’s eyes widened as Sasha gave a yelp from across the staffroom. That was a small piece of workplace gossip she hadn’t expected to learn today. As Courtney’s face turned red and she shot Willam a warning glare, she turned to Nina once more.

“Nina, how’s the Nativity going?” Courtney beamed artificially at her, moving the conversation along with all the grace and decorum of a one-wheeled snow plow.

Considering the question, Nina thought that she’d rather be discussing marriage plans with her boss and colleagues again. “It’s going.”

“That’s a ringing endorsement. I’m sure that was on the poster of Titanic too,” Willam chipped in.

“It wouldn’t be any less disastrous than the actual fate of the Titanic, at least the passengers could’ve probably remembered the words to fucking Jingle Bells,” Nina deadpanned, causing Willam to break into fits of clubbed seal laughter.

Sasha pouted sympathetically from the other side of the room. “It’s those cute bits that the parents love, though, isn’t it? They won’t mind if they get the words wrong.”

“I’m sure there needs to be a foundation of at least an audible tune though, Sash,” Nina smiled resignedly back at her.

“If Bianca wants a Nativity so bad, just tell her to come teach your class,” Willam half-suggested, half-yelled. “Or get Court to teach them! They prolly don’t need to be in tune anyway!”

Courtney’s expression appeared to be the same as Nina’s after her morning’s rehearsal. “Do you ever stop talking shit?”

“You think I’m bad? That bell is going to go for the Comp’s lunch break in five minutes, Bob is gonna arrive, an’ then it’s RIP our eardrums,” Willam said, pointing to the staffroom door for dramatic effect.

“At least Bob has never presented his clothed arsehole to his partner in front of his colleagues,” Courtney cut in at once, her tone deadpan and making Nina splutter a laugh.

“Aw, c’mon Court! That’s just banter. These girls don’t mind.”

“It’s unprofessional!” Courtney clutched her chest. Willam only snorted in response.

“Unprofessional? What are you, forty?”

“We’re the same age!!” Courtney cried in response, her incredulous tone only setting Nina off in a further fit of laughter.

It was only later on that night once she had driven back home, parked, and approached her and Monet’s flat that Nina remembered the staffroom conversation. She cast her gaze up to their first-floor window in their red brick building, almost being able to feel the way her heart gave a swell at the sight of their Christmas tree framed proudly within the glass. And as she got in through the front door, Monet greeted her with a hug and a takeaway leaflet.

“We’ve got nothing in the fridge, so I thought we could get noodles? This came through the door today and I think-” Monet raises her eyebrows, slapped the leaflet into the palm of her hand decisively. “- it’s a sign from God.”

“Well, when you put it like that,” Nina laughed, shrugging off her coat and feeling grateful for not having to cook.

It was only when they were both curled up on the couch, empty pad thai containers in front of them, that Nina turned to Monet and saw the lights on the tree reflected in her eyes. She turned to her girlfriend, threw an arm round her and snuggled in to her side.

“What’s up?” Monet asked, her voice soft and sleepy and a little concerned.

“Nothing,” Nina sighed. It was true. There wasn’t really anything up, and she was the happiest she’d ever been. But she still turned to Monet, tilting her head up inquisitively. “You don’t feel under any pressure at all, do you?”

Monet snorted. “I feel under pressure to get fifteen children who can’t write the word cat on their own to magically be able to write a sentence by the end of the year, yeah.”

Nina rolled her eyes. “No! I mean, like…in life. You didn’t just…buy this flat with me because you felt you had to, right? You wouldn’t do anything because you felt obliged to?”

Monet raised a single eyebrow back at her. “Yeah, I decided to piss my life savings away on a deposit for a flat because I felt I had to. Jesus Christ, Neens.”

“No, no, I know,” Nina chuckled, realising how silly the whole thing now sounded. “But I just mean…in life, like milestones and stuff. You’d never do stuff because you felt you had to keep up, in some way? Reach some goal by a certain age?”

Monet brought an arm around Nina and cuddled her closer, kissing her hair and resting her chin on top of her head. “Everything I do in life, I do because I want to. Especially when it comes to you. Promise.”

Nina gave her girlfriend a squeeze, happy. She took a deep breath, smelt the fabric softener on Monet’s jumper that they both used but just seemed to smell better and feel softer on everything Monet wore.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

***

Nina sat in a child-sized chair with her knees practically up to her chest, a crumpled, printed-out script on her lap that she’d hastily typed up on her work iPad’s notes app the following evening. Her class sat behind her in costumes pulled on over their school uniforms, with books and pens and pieces of paper with botched photocopying on the back under strict instructions not to talk until the whole thing was filmed.

“Okay, Amber!” she smiled breezily at the small girl whose school blouse was sticking out under her angel costume. “You’re kicking off the video. So your line is two thousand years ago, an angel came to a woman called Mary. Practise it for me?”

Amber gripped the hem of her taffeta skirt in two tiny white-knucked fists. “I don’t want to.”

Nina bit her lip. Great start. Fantastic. “We can give it a try together?”

Reluctantly, Amber parroted the words in tandem with her. So far so good.

“Okay. Now do you want to go up against the backdrop and I can film you doing it?”

Amber’s ponytail full of flyaways swung wildly as she shook her head. Nina thought for a moment. Then her eyes came to rest on Hazel- the class’ Mary and, coincidentally, Amber’s best friend.

“What about if Hazel stands with you?”

That seemed to change things and, only slightly hesitantly, both girls got up in front of the hastily staple-gunned silver tinsel.

“Okay Amber. Two thousand years ago, an angel came to a woman called Mary. Ready?”

A nod in reply.

“Go!”

Amber took a deep, shaky breath in. “Two thousand years ago….a woman called Mary.”

Nina stopped filming, fixed the girl with a kind smile. “An angel came to a woman called Mary. Try again?”

The iPad was back in filming mode, and Amber went again. “Two thousand years ago, a…a…a little cute angel came to Mary.”

Nina stopped filming, fixed Amber with two thumbs up. That’ll do.

Things seemed to be going well as Hazel and Oliver (or, Mary and Angel Gabriel) got through their lines without too many bumps in the road. Then, it was time for Amber to take to the stage (or blue curtain with a tinsel border) once more.

“Okay Amber, so your line this time is…Mary told her husband Joseph. Want to practise?”

“Mary told her husband Joseph,” Amber repeated, with all the enthusiasm of a patient about to undergo a colonoscopy. With two days til the deadline, this would have to suffice.

“Perfect! Ready? Three…two…one…go!” Nina smiled encouragingly, as she hit record.

Amber stood beside Mary and Joseph, a little grin on her own face. “Mary told her husband Joyce.”

“…Joseph,” Nina reminded her. Where the fuck had Joyce come from? She hit record again.

“Three…two…one…go!”

“Mary told her husband Joyce.”

Nina couldn’t stop herself from bursting out laughing. “Joseph, Amber!”

The little girl nodded earnestly. “Joseph Amber.”

Nina spluttered. “No…Amber is your name. Joseph is Mary’s husband.”

“Ohhhhhh.”

Nina shook her head, amused. This was what she loved about teaching. None of the other girls working from home could say that they got to spend their day feeling like they were stuck in an episode of You’ve Been Framed.

“Go again. Mary told her husband Joseph. Three…two…one…”

“Mary told…em…um…I can’t remember,” Amber giggled. Nina could feel her own giggles bubbling up inside herself, but she had to stop otherwise it would set her whole class off.

“Mary told her husband Joseph,” Nina repeated, both Amber and Hazel now giggling to each other. “Shh shh! Okay…three…two…one…”

Amber composed herself, took a deep breath. “Mary told her husband Joyce.”

Christ Alive. Nina gasped incredulously, unable to help herself from laughing now. The whole class, Amber herself, and Nina was pretty sure God, were all doing the same. She put her head in her hands, her whole body now shaking with laughter. “Joseph!!”

She already couldn’t wait to tell everybody she knew this story. Not least so she could cement in her mind that it was something that actually happened to her, and not just simply the script of a comedy show she’d dreamed up. Miraculously, mercifully, she managed to get the rest of her class settled down and for Amber to say the correct line on film, even if Nina could be faintly heard frantically mouthing “Joseph!” in the background.

Eventually they reached the innkeepers. Easy enough, in theory.

“Okay, Carter,” Nina smiled encouragingly at the first innkeeper. “When Mary and Joseph ask for a room, you say ‘no, sorry!’. Okay?”

Carter nodded, half a finger stuck up his nose. Nina gestured to him to put his hands down, then began filming. As directed, Mary and Joseph asked if there was any room at the inn.

“YES,” the little boy shouted. The whole class burst out laughing. Nina did not.

Just then, Willam walked past the open door with her class. She gave her a look of inquisition, shooting her a tentative, questioning thumbs up.

Nina put her head in her hands in reply.

***

By some miracle of nature (although it could also have been Nina giving up on work that afternoon) Nina had made it back to the flat before five o’clock. This never happened- five pm was usually the time she left work, but a day full of recording Nativity clips and then putting them together on iMovie while her class played (read; caused havoc) had been tiring and she needed Monet, chocolate, and Merlot.

Only the first thing she heard when she opened the door to her flat wasn’t Monet singing, or the hum of the extractor fan. It was the grainy crackle of a Zoom call and an incredibly distinctive voice.

“So when you doin’ it? Do it tonight. Do it when she gets home from work.”

Monet’s voice- humoured, long-suffering. “I’m not doing it then, Vanj, she’ll be exhausted.”

“That was honestly your best suggestion? When she gets home from work?” Brooke’s voice. “Aren’t you the pinnacle of romance!”

Nina had realised that Monet was on a Zoom call with all the girls, from the way Vanessa had obviously kissed Brooke on camera was being met with half a dozen cries in protest from the others. She excitedly shrugged off her coat and unwrapped herself from her scarf, eager to see her friends again. Part of her was intrigued, though. Why were they all calling each other without her?

“My question is how you’re going to do it,” Akeria’s voice came, as questioning as always. “It needs to be good but it better not be too damn cheesy.”

“An’ you better make sure she got her nails done, she might say no if she ain’t got her nails done!” Silky came shouting through Monet’s Macbook speakers.

“Yeah, you better make it as romantic as you can, Mo,” Scarlet added, making Nina wonder what the hell it was they were all talking about. Before she could wonder any further, she heard Yvie’s distinctive snort of a laugh.

“You are in no position to speak about romance, I mean, need I remind you how you asked me?”

“Shut up,” Scarlet replied, her tone a little bashful as the other girls laughed.

“Monet I could hire you a plane if you really wanted,” Plastique offered, making Nina snort despite the fact she had no idea what the conversation was about.

“Shut up, bitch,” Nina could practically hear the roll of Akeria’s eyes.

Nina toed her shoes off and finally padded through to the kitchen, where Monet’s eyes grew wide when she saw her, her body visibly flinching.

“Hey, babe!” she smiled, looking a little startled. “You’re home earlier than usual!”

“Oh sorry, am I interrupting your Zoom call with all your side chicks?” Nina deadpanned, forcing her way onto Monet’s lap to see her friends on the screen.

“Ninaaa!!!” Vanessa’s face popped up first, her friend waving excitedly as she sat on her sofa in Brooke’s arms. “How are you, girl?”

“Shattered,” Nina sighed, rubbing her eyes harshly. “Just filmed the whole Nativity with the rugrats today. Think it took ten years off my lifespan. How’re you?”

“Good,” Brooke smiled back through the screen. “We ordered our Christmas food today. Trying to convince this one that we don’t need twelve pigs in blankets between two people.”

Vanessa scowled back at her from their position on the sofa. “Uh, yes the hell we do!”

“Twelve pigs in blankets as well as the turkey, stuffing, and all the veg? Y’all are gonna explode,” Akeria said disapprovingly.

“Kiki! How are you?” Nina cried with delight, seeing her friend’s tired but smiling face appear on screen.

“Good. Don’t stop work for a while yet, but it’s fine. Still flat hunting.”

“How’s Pri?” Nina asked, heartened by the way Akeria looked down, trying and failing to suppress a smile.

“Yeah, she’s good. Still batshit crazy. Horny all the time.”

“The ideal girlfriend, really,” Yvie said, a wry smile on her face.

“Nina!” Silky suddenly cut in, yelling. “Did you hear any of what we were talkin’ about before?”

Nina frowned, shook her head. “Something about planes and nails. And cheese. I’m too exhausted to have paid enough attention. Why, were you having a mad bitchfest about me?”

“Trying to ask the girls how best to dump you,” Monet deadpanned. Nina shot Monet a look and squeezed her leg, resulting in her girlfriend yelping and cracking her knee off the table.

Whatever the previous conversation was was soon forgotten about as excited catchups took over. Silky was excited as she was interviewing some singer that Nina had never heard of and wanted the girls to help her work out what questions she was going to ask her. Yvie and Scarlet were lamenting the fact they had to host both of their families for Christmas and had bought a turkey so big Scarlet wasn’t sure it would fit in their oven, and Plastique was telling them the weirdest things she’d been gifted by companies desperate for her to endorse them on Instagram.

“I got a box of sex toys from LoveHoney. That was probably the most random. Me and Naomi had a wild fucking night that night.”

“STOP BEIN’ GROSS,” Silky had yelled down the line, causing Nina to hammer Monet’s volume down button.

Eventually the call came to an end, but not before lots of promises to catch up soon once the situation across the world was better than the shitshow it was currently. As Monet closed her laptop, Nina threw her arms around her neck and nuzzled into her side.

“I miss them,” she sighed, and Monet patter her back comfortingly.

“I know, babe. I miss them too.”

There was a moment of pensive silence, and then Nina spoke again, the Nativity never too far away from her mind.

“I can’t export this video.”

“What?”

“The Nativity video. I can’t export it,” Nina muttered pitifully against her girlfriend’s shoulder.

Monet kissed her hair, making to stand up. “You get a cup of tea. I’ll fix your video.”

“You’re the best,” Nina sighed gratefully, walking over to the kettle.

It was only after she’d sat down with a cup of tea and Monet had promised she’d sorted her video that Nina thought about the conversation she’d walked in on earlier.

She had a strange feeling that it had something to do with her.

***

When Nina arrived at work that morning, she could tell something was…a little different. She couldn’t really tell what it was. It started with the slightly knowing smile Tatianna shot her from across the corridor.

“Congrats, Nina!” she shouted down to her before she ducked into her own classroom.  

“Uh…thanks,” she replied a little too late. Okay, the Nativity process had been stressful, but did she really need congratulated?

She supposed she appreciated it. It had been a whirlwind of a process, after all.

Only the odd thing was, it continued. The congratulations came pouring in; Alaska, Ivy from the Nursery school, Alyssa had cooed and gushed for ages about how exciting it was and how happy she was for her.

Nina had only blinked in reply, a little bewildered. “Thanks, Alyssa. It was a stress, but they managed to pull it off in the end.”

Alyssa gave her a funny look, then realisation seemed to dawn on her. “Oh…they’re non-binary! You know I never knew that, sorry sugar. Well congratulations to you both.”

With that, Alyssa hurried away only leaving Nina more confused than ever.

What in the fuck?

When the bell rang and Nina went to collect her class from the line, things only got weirder. Before she could hurry her class inside, Harry’s Mum waved at her from behind the school gate, beckoning her over. Nina’s heart began to sink- she was going to ask her why Harry was only a shepherd, wasn’t she, or why he didn’t get a solo during Little Donkey, or some-other-bullshit-like-that.

To Nina’s surprise, she held up a sparkly gift bag.

“Hi, sorry for bothering you!” she beamed at her. This was already unheard of- a parent apologising for taking up her time? Nina was beginning to question if she had slipped through a crack in the fabric of reality while she’d been sleeping when Harry’s Mum spoke again. “Me and the other parents had a quick whipround and got you a couple of things and a little card to say congratulations! We thought it was the least we could do given your lovely news.”

It was only after Nina had thanked her profusely, taken the bag and led her children into class that her words sank in. What lovely news was she on about?

Nina taught that morning in a daze. Well, ‘taught’ was pushing it; the last few days of term were always movie days or games days, and today was the former. Nina had decided to inject a bit of an educational element to it by showing her class Nativity and then asking them if they thought the film’s play was better than the one they’d put on. Despite it being one of her favourite Christmas films, though, she still wondered why everyone had been congratulating her today. Maybe her Nativity video had really been so amazingly good that people just had to comment on it. Nina decided that this was the only plausible explanation, and so was feeling particularly spirited as it reached breaktime and she sent the kids out to play.

She was sitting in her classroom reading all the messages she’d missed on her group chat when Willam practically crashed through her door.

“Oh my God!” she yelled, practically vibrating with excitement. “Congratulations, you lucky fucker! That’s gotta be the cutest damn thing I’ve ever seen. I mean Bianca probably wants your head on a plate for keeping it in, but still! How’re you celebrating? Should we go to the shop at lunchtime and get prosecco? I mean it’s the last few days of term, I’m sure drinking on the job’s allowed. Court wouldn’t tell anyone.”

Willam was talking with such speed that it took a few seconds for Nina to register everything she’d said. “Why…would Bianca want my head on a plate?”

Willam snorted. “I mean it’s kinda obvious. You don’t think she’s gonna be pissed about it? Then again, maybe she won’t. I don’t know, I can’t get inside her head. I’m not on that Honey I Shrunk The Kids kinda bullshit.”

Nina felt her head was so clouded that even if she possessed the brightest fog lights in the world she still couldn’t see what Willam was trying to say.

“Willam,” she asked, slowly and carefully as she rested her head in her hands. “What the hell are you talking about?”

There was a pause as Willam froze, then as her eyes became huge and wide as she slowly raised a finger to point at Nina. “Jesus Harvey Christ. You…you don’t know, do you?”

Nina frowned, bewildered. “Know what?”

“Oh my God. You don’t know. This is the best thing ever. You don’t even know!” Willam howled with laughter, then, before Nina could ask what she was meant to not know, Willam had dashed out of her classroom and had begun yelling into the hall. “Courtney! Court! She doesn’t know!”

Nina began to feel her heart beat in heavy thuds as the bell went to signal the end of playtime. What didn’t she know?

Eventually Nina managed to reach the end of the day. How, she didn’t know. She was so confused by all the different odd events of the day that she felt she didn’t properly make sense at any point to her class, but that probably didn’t matter as they were all so wrapped up in Christmas nonsense that Nina could’ve left the classroom and they wouldn’t have given a shit.

She was just getting ready to leave work for the weekend when Bianca stuck her head into her classroom and made her almost jump fifty feet in the air.

“Nina,” she began, in her own blunt, abrasive way. She didn’t wait for Nina to greet her as she continued. “I know you must be wandering around with your head in the clouds at the moment, but next time do you think you could maybe just run the video by me first? I mean you’re very lucky that the parents took that well. I mean it’s really about the kids, y’know?”

Nina could only blink at her wide-eyed like a deer in the headlights, getting into trouble but not entirely sure what for. Loath to say anything in response, she simply nodded.

“I mean you should’ve really kept it out,” Bianca frowned. She let the awkward, tense silence hang in the air for a few moments before a humoured smile appeared on her face. “But congratulations. I’m very happy for you.”

Without stopping for Nina to reply, Bianca had turned on her heel and left her classroom. Nina could only look at the space she’d previously been standing in. Maybe all of this was a dream. A fever dream. She’d probably contracted some sort of illness and was experiencing some hallucinogenic vision.

She didn’t know how she made it home without causing a crash, but she managed, and as soon as she was through the door she began to vent to the person she loved most.  

“Monet!” she called through to the kitchen, hanging her belongings up. “I’ve had the weirdest fucking day in living memory. So first all the teachers were congratulating me…then I got a present from the parents…then Willam was screaming about me not knowing something…and then Bianca gave me a row at the end of the day…but I still don’t know exactly why…but then she said congratulations to me too?”

It was only when Nina stopped and walked through to the kitchen that she saw the kitchen table all done up with candles and laid beautifully, Nina’s favourite meal (slow cooker beef and buttery mash) on two plates, and Monet sitting at the table with her makeup done, dressed in a backless blue bodycon that Nina had once very nearly broke the zip of trying to rip it off her one weekend away.

“Uh…” Nina frowned, more confused than ever. Slowly, as a smile spread across Monet’s face, she began to connect all the dots of weird and the picture it presented illustrated that somehow her girlfriend had to be behind it all. “Okay, what’s going on?”

Monet got up and leant against the kitchen counter. She very gently took both of Nina’s hands in hers. “You didn’t watch the whole video once I exported it, did you?”

Something like dread crossed with excitement began to pool in Nina’s gut. She narrowed her eyes. “Monet…what did you do?”

Wordlessly, Monet reached back across to the table where she picked up her phone and loaded up the Nativity video. Skipping to the end, she got past the end of Jingle Bells and showed the video to Nina. The screen faded to black, and then, Nina watched as another little title card faded into view.

To the teacher that always gives so much of herself to others, I now want to give all of myself to you.

Miss West, will you marry me?

Love, Monet x

And suddenly everything in Nina felt as if it was made of fire, adrenaline and jet fuel. Her eyes flew open, her hand smacked against her shocked, gaping mouth. Her pulse raced and her heart hammered and all of her limbs turned to jelly to the extent she wasn’t sure she was able to stand any more. When she took her eyes off her phone screen and looked at Monet, her girlfriend was down on their kitchen floor, down on one knee like in every princess movie Nina had ever seen, her hair soft and curled and loose on her shoulders and a bright smile on her painted taupe lips. Gemstone tears brimmed in her dark eyes and hung from her lashes like icicles, and there, in her outstretched hands, was an open navy box.

Inside was a ring - gold band, one small diamond - and it was when Nina saw it that she gave a sob, her own tears springing from her eyes like a broken fountain, uncontrollable and erratic.

“Oh, baby, c’mere,” Monet gave a small laugh, shaking her head and immediately rising from the floor to wrap her arms around her in a hug. Nina took a few shaky, shallow breaths, pawing at Monet’s chest to release herself from her grip and look her in the eyes.

“You! You knew…all this time, and you…you put it in the video, oh my GOD, Monet, I could’ve got in so much trouble…I did get in so much trouble, oh my God…and you didn’t even tell me-”

“I thought you’d at least watch the damn thing through before you uploaded it!” Monet burst out laughing through her tears, and Nina joined in in a lightheaded, giddy way.

“I can’t believe this is real. Fuck. My whole body feels like that time we did poppers in Crete. Oh my God. Is this happening? You want to marry me?”

“Well, I would love to marry you, but I’m waiting on an answer,” Monet smiled bashfully, bringing her arm out from around Nina’s waist and holding the ring up so Nina could see it.

The diamond only seemed to glisten more when she saw it through the tears in her own eyes, and the gold shone warm like the brightest star. It was an engagement ring- her engagement ring- and it was real, and it was surreal, but Monet was in front of her waiting for an answer with tears in her eyes and hope in her heart that matched her own.

And Nina had never been one to say no to anything.

[jack-hallow-lantern]

The Real Story of Jack O'Lantern

  Have you ever wondered why people carve funny faces on pumpkins during Halloween and call them "jack-o-lanterns"? You may have already heard a story about it, but those stories are all wrong. I would know. I'm going to tell you the real story.

  A long time ago, around the 17th century or so in Ireland, there lived a man so mean and mischievous that he was called "Stingy Jack". He never gave anyone any money or gifts, even on their birthday. He was always lying and stealing, and he would play awful tricks on everyone he came across, including his own mother!

  One day, on a warm autumn afternoon, Jack died. When he did, he found himself unable to cross over into the afterlife. But why? 

 After thinking about it all day, Jack finally realized it was because he had been so bad when he was alive that he was going to be stuck on earth forever!

  Well, by the time he came to that conclusion, it was already night time. Jack was afraid of the dark because he knew that was when evil spirits came out. To find his way through the dark, and to scare away evil spirits, Jack took a coal from his fireplace and put it inside a turnip to use as a lantern. 

  All the other stories of Stingy Jack end there. They tell you about mean ol' Stingy Jack and how he was stuck on earth with a stinky turnip lantern for all eternity. No-one ever tells the rest of the story. But I will.

  After realizing he was stuck on Earth for all eternity because of his nasty ways, Jack walked around many nights trying to figure out how to change it. How could he make up for being bad his whole life?

  He decided he would have to be good his whole afterlife. 

  Whenever he saw someone alone at night, afraid and lost in the woods, he would use his shining lantern to guide them home.

  When Jack saw someone doing something cruel or mean, he would swoop in and scare them away and punish them.

  When he saw someone in need, he would leave them a few coins from the huge collection he'd gathered over the years.

  Years later, when the Irish made their way over to North America, Jack hid on a ship and snuck over with them. He was curious about the New World, and he'd gotten bored travelling Ireland all alone. He'd seen everything and everyone he could. If he was going to be stuck on Earth forever, he wanted to enjoy it!

  By that time, everyone had heard of Stingy Jack, and everyone could tell a story about meeting him at least once. They all started celebrating a night called All Hallow's Eve (the old name for Halloween). When they moved to North America, they took All Hallow's Eve with them! They also took their turnip lanterns.

  Back in those days, there were no pumpkins in Ireland. No-one there had ever even heard of a pumpkin! So before pumpkins, the Irish used turnips. (It was Jack who invented the turnip lantern. Everyone else copied him. It's the truth!)

  When the Irish found pumpkins, they decided they were a lot better than turnips. They were bigger, and easier to carve, and good for making pies with! After that, Jack started using a pumpkin lantern, too. 

  This is where the story gets magical. When Jack was searching a wild pumpkin patch for the nicest pumpkin to make his new lantern with, he came across an injured crow who couldn't fly. 

  Jack felt bad for the crow and decided to help her. "What do you need?" he asked the crow (he could talk to the crow because he was dead, and ghosts can talk to animals). 

  The crow weakly lifted her head and asked for an apple. Jack tried to get one from a nearby tree, but the branches were too high, and he was too short!

  "Use that long, twisted stick on the ground," the crow said, "and shake an apple from the tree." So Jack did.

After eating the apple, the crow felt a little better. Next, she asked Jack to give her some water.

  Jack went to the nearby stream and stared at the water. "I don't have anything to hold the water with," Jack told the crow.

  "Use that turnip like a cup," the crow said, pointing a feather at Jack's lantern.

  Jack shook his head. "If I do that," he reasoned, "my light will go out, and I won't be able to see at night or keep bad spirits away!"

  The crow nodded. "I understand. But I am dying, and you are already dead. I need water more than you need a lantern. You can always find another coal."

  Jack knew the crow was right. And besides, helping the crow was a good thing, which meant he had to do it to help make up for being bad. So, dumping the coal from his lantern and filling the turnip with water, he brought it to the crow.

  After the crow was done drinking, something amazing happened. The crow turned into a human woman. It was a witch in disguise!

  "Thank you for helping me," said the witch. "For being so kind, I will give you something in return. Follow me." 

  First, the witch grabbed the stick Jack used to shake the apple from the tree. Then, plucking the best pumpkin from the patch and holding it under her arm, the witch led Jack through the woods and to her little cottage. Inside, Jack was given a seat at a little wooden table. 

  "What is your name?" the witch asked him.

  "Jack O'Lantern is what people call me nowadays," he replied.

  "I have heard of you," the witch said. "You are trying to make up for being bad in life."

  Jack nodded. The witch smiled and thought for a moment. "Then you will be called Jack Hallow Lantern, because hallow means holy, and you are saintly."

  Jack was flattered. He never would have thought of himself as a saint before.

  "If you are going to make up for being bad your whole life, you will need to be able to help everyone you meet."

The witch went over to a big cauldron and lit a fire under it, then started pouring in many strange and colorful things from bottles. When she whistled, a group of mice, bats, and spiders crawled from all corners of the cottage and started helping her work.

  As she stirred the mixture, she and all the animals started to sing.

  "Double bubble, toil and trouble

  Make me a special brew

  One to help the spirit Jack

  And all that he will do

  Eye of newt, toe of frog

  Wool of bat, tongue of dog,

  Spider's web and pumpkin seed,

  A flying spell is what we need!"

  The witch took the stick Jack used to shake the apple tree and dipped it in the pot before handing it back to him.

  "This stick is magical now," the witch told him. "I've given it the same power as my broomstick. It will take you anywhere you want to go."

  Next, the witch took a magic wand from her cloak and tapped the pumpkin three times.

  Tap!

  Tap!

  Tap!

  It became as light as a feather and hollow inside with a smiling face carved in its front. The witch took a coal from her own fireplace and put it inside the lantern.

  "The light will never go out," the witch said, "And every good deed you do and good feeling you have will make it burn brighter. No evil spirit will ever be able to harm you, and the fire will not burn you."

  "Thank you!" Jack said. But the witch wasn't done. 

  "I will give you this magic bag as well," said the witch. "Whatever you need, the bag will produce it. Just wiggle your hand over it and ask for what you want. You can put anything in it, but it won't get any bigger or heavier."

  "This is a lot to give to me when all I gave you was an apple and some water!" exclaimed Jack.

  The witch smiled. "It is the least I can do for someone who saved my life." 

  It was starting to get dark outside, so Jack took everything the witch had given him, waved goodbye, and went on his way. 

  Further down the road, Jack came across a graveyard. He was starting to get tired from wandering all night, so he decided to rest on a tombstone. 

  "I will only stay a little while," he said, "Then I will look for someone else to help."

  "Did you say you wanted to help someone?" said a deep voice. "I need help right now!"

  Jack jumped up and looked around. Who said that?

  "Over here, in the tree!" the voice called. 

  Lifting his pumpkin lantern, Jack saw a bat struggling to get out of the branches of a maple tree. His wings were tangled up!

  "Hold on," said Jack, "And I will get you down." He sat on his magic stick and used it to lift himself in the air, then carefully helped the bat out of the tree. The bat flew down and perched on the tombstone, then became a tall, handsome vampire!

  "Thank you for helping me," the vampire said. "You are very kind. But where did a spirit get a magic stick?"

  Jack told the vampire about the witch, and the vampire raised an eyebrow. "Ah, so you are helping all sorts of people then. In return for your kindness, I will teach you how to turn into an animal!"

  It took all night for Jack to master the vampire's lesson, but when he did, he was able to become an orange cat, a vampire bat, and a black crow. 

  "Good job!" said the vampire. "I would teach you how to become fog as well, but we vampires must keep some of our secrets!"

  Jack agreed with the vampire, and when the sun started to rise, they said their goodbyes. 

  Continuing to explore the graveyard, Jack tripped over something. Looking behind him to see what it was, he saw a ghost lying on top of a grave. 

  Oh no! he thought. I must have hurt her! Jack leaned down to ask the ghost if she was okay. 

  "Oh, woe is me!" wailed the ghost. "No-one ever comes by and leave flowers on my grave. The ones in this vase are dead, and I am so lonely."

  Jack looked around. He saw little yellow flowers poking out of the ground and picked them. "Will these be alright?" he asked the ghost.

  The ghost stopped her sobbing and looked up at Jack. "You would leave me flowers? Really? You don't even know me."

  Jack smiled. "We may be strangers, but I don't need an excuse to be kind." He placed a bundle of the little yellow flowers in the ghost's dusty vase and bowed politely. "There," he said. "Now your grave looks as lovely as you do."

  The ghost smiled and giggled. "Why, you are a very kind gentleman. What can I give you in return?"

  Jack thought for a moment. "Would you teach me how to move in and out of walls?"

  The ghost smiled. "Of course!"

  So Jack and the ghost spent all morning learning how to move in and out of gravestones, trees, gates, and mausoleum walls. 

  "There!" giggled the ghost. "Now you can go wherever you need to."

  Jack bowed again, said his thanks, and left the graveyard behind. 

  Further down the road, in the hours just after noon, Jack came to a scary-looking mansion atop a steep hill. Curious, Jack turned into a bat, flew inside, and looked around. 

  Everything was very spooky, and cobwebs were everywhere. Jack wanted to leave, but he heard someone laughing downstairs, and he wanted to see what all the commotion was about! So, using his ghostly powers, he moved through the walls and made his way into the secret dungeon under a trap door.

  When he got there, he saw a mad scientist cackling and wringing his hands together. There was something under a sheet on a table and a big, dangerous-looking machine!

  "What are you doing?" Jack asked the mad scientist.

  The mad scientist jumped up in fright. He hadn't been expecting any visitors!

  "I am creating a monster," the mad scientist declared. "I am the greatest scientist there ever was!"

  Jack was hardly paying attention to what the mad scientist was saying. He was distracted by the smell coming from a collection of beakers and test tubes on a table across the room. It smelled like chocolate!

  "What is in these glasses?" Jack asked the mad scientist.

  The mad scientist stopped his rambling and waved a hand dismissively. "Oh, it is just a candy recipe I am working on. My real pride is my monster. I made him using-"

  "Candy!" Jack exclaimed. "I love candy! May I have some? It smells so good!"

  The mad scientist sighed. "You may have some," he said, "but only if you stop interrupting me!"

  Jack understood. He listened to the mad scientist talk about his monster for many, many hours. By the time the mad scientist was done, the moon was already high in the sky, and the monster had come to life. The three of them, Jack, the mad scientist, and the monster, all sat down at a small round table and shared candy.

  "You must be very lonely, having this huge mansion all to yourself," Jack said to the mad scientist. 

  "It is," said the mad scientist. "That is why I created my monster!"

  Jack nodded. "We all need a friend, or someone to talk to."

  The mad scientist smiled. Jack thought he looked more like a glad scientist then. "Would you like the recipe for my candy?" he asked Jack. "You seem like the kind of fellow who would put it to good use."

  Jack smiled wide. He really liked candy! Taking the recipe, Jack said goodbye to the glad scientist and his monster and left the spooky mansion.

  When Jack made his way to the bottom of the other side of the hill, he found a small town. Every porch had a carved jack-o-lantern on it. 

  Jack was so distracted by his new friends and helping people that he forgot it was nearly Halloween! In fact, it was the very next night!

  Jack looked at everything he had gained from his new friends and thought of a plan to make Halloween extra special. Everyone always put out jack-o-lanterns out for him. He wanted to do something in return. 

  The whole next day, Jack made candy using the glad scientist's special recipe. He visited the witch to use her cauldron. 

  "What is it you are planning?" she asked Jack.

  "I am going to make everyone as happy as I am!" Jack told the witch. "I am going to leave a bowl of candy on every porch for trick-or-treaters, I am going to light every jack-o-lantern at dusk to keep the evil spirits away, and I am going to make sure everyone has a happy Halloween!"

  "I thought you would be scaring everyone on Halloween," the witch said. "Isn't Halloween supposed to be the scariest night of the year?"

  Jack frowned. "That is where everyone gets it wrong," he said. "Halloween is about laughing at everything that scares you. It is a celebration of life. It is about tricking evil spirits and making people smile. That is what I do, and it is what my favourite day is about!"

  The witch smiled. "I knew you would put my gifts to good use."

  And every Halloween, Jack does. He is the one who lights jack-o-lanterns at dusk, and who leaves bowls of candy on porches. When they get empty, he fills them back up again with his magic bag that never goes empty. If mean people take too much candy, or do bad things on Halloween night, he gives them a fright and punishes them, hoping they'll learn the same lesson he did before it is too late! But most importantly, he leads lost people home, and he protects them from evil spirits on Halloween night.

  How do I know this is all true? Why, because I am Jack O'Lantern, and that was my real story!

[rotttnapple]

count: 1,379 tw: loss, death, sadness, animal death mention (non violent) part 1 | part 2 under a cut because of the absolute sadness, okay

country roads, take me home @pohocounty

“Can you take me out on the porch for a spell, darling?”

An old voice, soft and dusty, still smiling in it's age. Dulu nods his reply, making that long lean down (his back gives a twinge, he makes no complaint) to pick up a body as light as a crow. Frail bones and paper-thin skin. Charley rests a head gone white as the snow atop the mountains against Dulu's strong chest, arthritis bunched hands folded in his lap. There is no pain, his mind is clear, he knows his time is near and he would like to look out on their land one last time.

Dulu carries him through the house full of their life, art and artifacts, photos of marches and causes and lost children they called their own long since grown. Photos of children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Christmas cards and birthday cards. Celebrations of old festivals with old friends, some as ancient as Dulu, campfires and bonfires. Dulu nearly invisible, covered in kittens. Dulu with his arms full of a litter of mutt puppies. Dulu and Slaughter. Snapshots papering the fridge, selfies that spanned long years, good years and hard years, fences repaired and roofs replaced. Their old home, it's walls warm, full of laughter and love. Dulu is careful setting Charley down in his rocker, it's wood worn smooth from a thousand, a hundred thousand touches. The boards underneath show the movement of that rocker, neat grooves in the cedar wood. There's a willow tree out there in the yard, full of corn and pumpkins and flowers, it's trunk a broad expanse, planted some sixty years past. Dulu's settling that quilt over Charley's lap now too, the old man that was once a young man gets chilled so easily now, even in the heat of the summer. Charley doesn't rock now, he's too fragile for that, but when Dulu settles down next to him, he lays a hand on that broad forearm. Dulu can feel the ponderous beat of Charley's heart in his fingertips.

“Seventy-two years.” Charley murmurs. Dulu nods again, daring a low, chuffed grunt. He doesn't dare say too much, as little as he speaks. There's a strange sting in the back of his eyes, dark brown, the color of fresh turned earth. No, he doesn't dare say too much.

“You're going to keep this place going?” Another nod from Dulu, the smallest little grunt. There's a thickness in the back of his throat now, he tries to swallow it down and finds that it won't budge. Not one bit.

“And brush your teeth.” A big orange cat slowly, carefully, reaches out with one paw to tap at Charley's blanketed lap. With exceeding care she moves the rest of her mass there, settling down and purring soft and deep. There's snow around Poppy's whiskers too, it's been many long years since Dulu had taken her out of the tree amid the raging floodwater, Poppy and her three tiny kittens, trapped up there in the fork of an elm with the water rising fast below them. Out there on the farm a small herd of deer meander past a tom turkey (he ruffles his feathers and gobbles fetchingly to no avail), nibbling as they go. “Yuuh-yea.” Dulu manages to speak, just a little. His voice is lower, gruffer than it usually is. Charley doesn't mind, he rests his other hand on Poppy's warm orange coat.

Dulu knew man's time was finite, he had known it for as long as he had walked this earth. He knew this would hurt, but it still didn't prepare him for the pain. It had been coming a while, little signs here and there. Sometimes Charley would wake him, ask if he wouldn't mind checking on Slaughter out in the barn – Slaughter, long since buried, still Dulu would yawn and stretch and walk out to the barn where new eyes glowed in the darkness. Assure Charley, in his way, that the cat was just fine so his partner could rest without worry. Ask him if he's fed the goats, Dulu knowing he's talking about Speedy the First and her companion Peaches, also gone many, many summers now. Man's time was finite, but it didn't help that lump in his throat any.

Seventy-two years. They'd had a long life together, a good one. Two old friends, two old life partners, two old men, sit together on the porch as they had sat thousands of times before. Listening to the peace-noise of the farm. Guinea fowl and chickens, ducks and geese, goats and donkeys and turkeys and crows. Crows landing in thick blankets on the barn roof, weighing down the branches of trees. Crowding the perches in the corn, lining the fence.

Dulu realizes he can no longer feel Charley's heartbeat in his fingertips. No longer hears the slow, ponderous draw of his breath.

Dulu can't stop the heavy, braying sobs that spill out of him like thunder. The crows take flight all at once, and for a moment they block out the sun.

Dulu digs the grave with his hands, it's more efficient than the shovel. Great big scoops of black dirt, one after another, until the pile looms over his kneeling figure. He pats the bottom smooth, not wanting any rocks poking at his friend. Pats it real smooth before he stands (knees popping like firecrackers, he's not so young himself, hasn't really replaced nothing these past few years) and takes slow, even steps back to the house where Charley rests in his funeral shroud, a bunch of snapdragons – daughters and sons of that first one, the very first one seventy years ago – resting on his chest, over where his heart once beat so strong and young. A heart that now rested next to his, so carefully wrapped. There was just some things Dulu didn't want Charley to see.

Out there among the graves, of crows, of dogs and cats, goats and birds and deer, some that didn't make it farther than their infant days and some that lived well into their golden years, Dulu takes the earth and lays it down one hand at a time. Gently patting it down, settling it around, over, until the grave is filled again. He plants flowers atop it, flowers that Charley loved.

Later he'll set a great, ancient river stone at the top. A guardian stone, Charley's name written in the old tongue, but first he has something else to do. Something Charley had asked him to do, many years ago.

For the first time in a timeless age Dulu isn't sure he'll be able, not with that thick lump sticking in his throat still, but he swallows the heart well enough and it joins the beating of countless others. For a while, Charley allows the man his space. He gives Dulu his time to grieve.

Charley's young again, still so full of life even in death, there to remind Dulu to brush his teeth, showing him how to thread the sewing machine so his clothes don't fall to tatters all over again. He's there in the comforting touch of a hand resting on Dulu's arm, there and not there all at once. Charley's voice is gentle as he tells Dulu which vials to use, how to draw blood, how to give shots, how to mix the formula just right. Which formula is right because there's so many different kinds in the cupboards now for all manner of animals in need. He's there to help him change bandages and splint wings, he's there to remind him to be careful.

Charley's there, rocking his chair again, mindful of kitten paws and kitten tails. Laughing with him, still pulling those booming belly laughs out him like a magician pulls a rabbit out of a hat, singing songs so old they're all but forgotten when Dulu settles his guitar in his lap and plays the tunes. Wishing him sweet dreams every night, nagging him to eat breakfast every morning. Gone from life and yet immortalized in death.

When I'm gone, Dulu, I'd like you to take a little piece of me. Take a little piece of me, I don't want you to ever be alone again. Promise me that, please. I promise.

[lynnearlington]

ooooh fall!! prompts!! okay okay kara/lena and pumpkins

The first year, they’re just friends and only just close enough that Kara extends an invitation to the annual pumpkin carving contest.

Lena takes a little convincing but eventually agrees and joins the group at the pumpkin patch dressed in a casual pair of pants and a warm oversized sweater.

They pick out pumpkins and buy apple cider and Kara takes the time to explain strategy and gives her a laundry list of first timer tips as she refers to it. It’s a tad overwhelming at first, but Lena handles it as best she can, smiling and nodding at Kara as they walk through the lines of pumpkins.

“You guys take this pretty seriously,” Lena observes after Kara tells her about an ongoing friend-circle debate on the virtue of using stencils.

Kara’s face affects an expression that clearly conveys duh before she says, “Totally seriously.”

It takes a bit of effort to swallow the laugh that wants to come out so she just hides her smile behind her cup of cider and is grateful when Winn interrupts them with, “Kara, can you help me carry this to the cart?”

–

Lena sticks with a traditional design of a jack o’lantern. It’s the first time in her life she’s ever carved a pumpkin for Halloween and it’s the easiest design she can think to do.

Kara’s comment is a friendly, “Classic is always a good route to go.” But Lena catches sight of the intricate tree like drawing Kara’s working on for her own pumpkin and sighs.

–

Winn ends up winning the competition that year with his Jack Skellington design and he has to hold the pumpkin above his head when Alex threatens to smash it in indignation.

His eyes go wide like the threat is something real and Lena wants to laugh when Alex instructs her sister to, “Hold him down.”

The second year is the year Lena finds out Kara Danvers and Supergirl are the same person.

It’s a shock, but as Lena thinks over it, it really shouldn’t have been. Their friendship hits a bit of a pothole, but they recover.

Kara is persistent in her apologies and Lena can’t fathom losing her friendship. They work through it and Lena tries to swallow the heavy pill that is her closest friend having lied to her for the past year.

The annual pumpkin carving contest is the first social activity they do together that doesn’t involve tears or arguing or profuse apology.

“You’re still my friend and you’ll always be invited,” Kara says as a way of pleading with her to come. “I know things have been weird between us, but I want you to come. If you want to.”

Lena lets the tension sag out of her shoulders and decides to stop fighting that urge deep inside her to just forgive Kara and move on.

“I want to,” she says and the smile that spreads over Kara’s features blooms warmth over Lena’s chest.

–

The night goes the same as the previous year and Lena takes comfort in the routine of it. They head out to the pumpkin patch, buy a round of hot apple ciders and stroll through the rows deciding on which pumpkin to pick out.

Lucy comes over to their cart holding a massive pumpkin and four smaller ones balanced on top of it and at Lena’s wide-eyed questioning look she just mutters, “Don’t worry about it.”

It makes Kara laugh before she pulls Lena down the rows with a casual easy touch Lena didn’t think they’d ever get back to.

“Any idea what you’re going to carve this year?” Kara asks absently as she inspects a pumpkin half covered in warts.

“You’ll just have to wait and see,” is all Lena answers mostly because she hasn’t thought of it at all.

“Mysterious,” Kara teases with a wiggle of her eyebrows that makes Lena smile.  

–

In the end, she carves the Supergirl crest into her pumpkin and when she reveals it to Kara her friend’s eyes go a little round in surprise.

“You did a good job,” Kara says quietly as her eyes roam the pumpkin.

Lena locks eyes with her. “It’s my best friend’s family crest,” she says and before she can say more Kara surges forward and locks her in a strong hug.

“I love you,” Kara murmurs into Lena’s shoulder and they’ve said it before, casually and seriously and every which way, but it’s significant then. It feels like resolution they couldn’t find before.

“I love you too,” Lena replies and she wraps her arms over Kara’s shoulders.

–

Lucy wins that year after somehow constructing a monster like creation out of multiple pumpkins attached to each other. Just like every year, Alex vehemently disagrees with the result and accuses everyone of cheating somehow like she wasn’t the person who took and tallied the votes.

“Let’s take it to the public,” Maggie suggests with a shrug and both Alex and Lucy seem to agree.

They take both pumpkins out to the doorstep of Alex’s building and set them there. James brings out a thermos of spiked apple cider and they pass it around. Alex and Lucy spend their time badgering anyone who walks down the sidewalk to take a vote on which pumpkin is better and Lena just presses in close to the warmth of Kara’s body against the fall chill air and smiles.

The third year Kara kisses Lena.

That’s the one thing she’ll remember with clarity about that year.

It’s midway down the fourth row of pumpkins, somewhere near the big round haystack with a painted black cat and right after Lena laughed at some dumb joke Kara was making.

Kara’s lips taste like the apple cider they’d just finished and her cheeks are chill from the air and when she presses forward, Lena’s back hits the haystack behind her.

It feels like a long time coming if Lena’s honest and so she doesn’t hesitate in kissing Kara back.

It isn’t until Winn interrupts them with a loud exclaimed, “Whoa!” that they break apart and even then they stay hovered in each other’s airspace for long moments.

“I’ll see you guys at the car,” is all Winn adds before leaving them alone.

Lena pushes forward and kisses Kara again.

–

It takes considerably longer for Lena to decide what to carve that year and she blames that entirely on the way Kara keeps smiling shyly at her whenever their hands brush reaching for a tool.

The result is that she just copies Kara. They both end up with a variation on the classic jack o’lantern look, but with more expression and detail.

Lena wins.

Much to Kara’s sputtering incredulity.

“But we have the exact same pumpkin!”

“It’s not exactly the same,” Alex points out and she gestures to the mouth - Kara’s having one tooth and Lena’s having many. There’s a bemused teasing smile on Alex’s face that she can’t quite read, but clearly the elder Danvers sister is enjoying the moment immensely.

Lena tunes the argument out, doesn’t even care that much that she won. All she can think to care about is the way Kara’s cheeks look all flushed with indignation. It still feels like she can taste their kiss from earlier on her lips and she’s desperate to get Kara alone and talk about what it all means.

By the fourth year they’ve been officially together for ten months and they arrive to the pumpkin patch thirty minutes late but together and with apology pumpkin spice lattes for everyone.

“Don’t think this delicious drink will distract me from your lateness,” Alex says to them with narrowed suspicious eyes and Lena laughs.

Kara shrugs and wraps an arm around Lena’s waist.

–

They decide to do a pumpkin together which Alex absolutely balks at though Lena thinks that has more to do with Maggie’s noticeable absence than anything else.

Alex is about halfway through the boozy punch that Lucy brought and she’s taken to just stabbing her pumpkin with a knife over and over again. Kara scoots their pumpkin down the counter away from Alex with a wary expression.

“Jeez, Alex, don’t take it out on the pumpkin,” Winn jokes, but the sound cuts off into a cough when Alex throws a glare his way, knife raised in her hand.

He backs away slowly while James laughs.

–

Winn makes a robot pumpkin.

The minute Kara notices that he’s added robotic parts to his pumpkin she turns accusatory eyes towards Lena. “You helped him,” she says suspiciously and Lena just puts her hands up in a defensive gesture though she thinks the smile she’s unable to stop gives her away.

“No way, that’s cheating,” Lucy complains from her perch on one of the kitchen bar stools. Her legs are crossed at the ankle and propped up on James’s pumpkin where it sits on the counter.

“It’s not cheating just because you guys didn’t think of it,” Winn argues with a grumble.

Kara reaches out curiously to tug on one of the robot arms and it snaps immediately in her grip, all the metallic pieces crashing into the pumpkin and destroying half of it. When she looks back up it’s with a chagrined look on her face and an oops on her lips.

They call the contest a draw when Winn retaliates by pushing Kara and Lena’s pumpkin onto the ground.

The fifth year they’re fighting.

Lena doesn’t attend the annual pumpkin carving party and she finds she misses it desperately.

Alex spends the night texting her pictures from it - mostly of Kara’s grumpy face throughout the evening and then a particularly hilarious one of her throwing a handful of pumpkin guts at James.

It pangs at her heart enough that she calls Kara later than night.

“I hate fighting,” Kara says and Lena sighs. They’re not even fighting over something consequential. It was just a series of little squabbles coupled with busy work schedules and not enough free time and it all came to a head.

“I don’t enjoy it either,” Lena admits.

“Can I come over?” Kara asks quietly and Lena laughs.

“That depends. Did you win the contest?”

Kara makes an affronted sound and Lena can imagine that little disgruntled crinkle she always gets between her brows. “Lucy won and she will not shut up about it.”

“Sounds like her,” Lena says and her chest feels a little tight just imagining the familiar scene of all their friends arguing over who deserves to win. “I missed you guys.”

“We missed you too,” Kara replies and warm silence stretches over the phone for a bit. “I’m sorry.”

Lena takes a deep breath. “Me too.”

–

Kara comes over with her carved pumpkin as well as an uncarved one that she hands to Lena with a bright smile. “I still got you a pumpkin. Didn’t feel right not doing it.”

Lena takes it from her hands with a laugh and trades her for a quick kiss. “Help me carve it?”

“Of course.”

The sixth year, Lena plans her pumpkin eight months in advance and enlists some help from their friends.

It takes her extra long to pick out the perfect pumpkin and Kara looks at her with a curious expression. “Taking it extra serious this year?” She asks, her fingers tangling with Lena’s as they stroll through the rolls.

Lena scoffs. “I always take it seriously,” she says before taking a warm sip of her cider.

Kara laughs, but gets distracted by a particularly warped pumpkin to their right and disentangles from Lena to inspect it.

Alex comes up next to her while Kara’s occupied and leans in close, hand around Lena’s shoulder. “Just pick one. It’s not going to matter.”

A faint blush starts to creep up Lena’s cheeks, but she clears her throat and straightens. “I know what I’m doing,” she tells Alex though she’s slightly grateful for the strong hold Alex has on her shoulders. It’s settling some of the nerves she can feel building in her stomach.

“I’m sure you do,” Alex replies with a little smirk as she pulls away and walks towards her sister.

–

The hard part is carving the pumpkin in a way that Kara can’t see it before it’s finished.

James helps a bit by standing to Lena’s right in between the couple and Lucy does her part in talking to Kara as a diversion tactic.

Lena feels like her hands are shaking and this might not be the best time to handle sharp knives, but Alex pins her with a look that practically orders get a hold of yourself.

It’s a quick carving job after that, just a sequence of letters.

By the time she’s done it’s just a matter of showing Kara. The small black box in the pocket of cardigan starts to feel extra heavy as she realizes the next step.

Everyone else is in on it and they don’t make her feel any less nervous with the way they’re eying her with excitement. Winn in particular looks like he’s going to spoil the surprise at any moment so Lena knows she doesn’t have much time.

Kara’s still busy carving what looks like a witch silhouette into her pumpkin and Lena makes a small sound to get her attention just as James moves away with feigned intent to grab another beer.

Turning with a questioning smile, Kara looks over at her. “Hey, you finished already?”

Her fingers play with the box in her pocket. “Yeah, you want to see it?”

Kara’s brows pull down slightly, but her smile doesn’t fade. “Sure, definitely.”

Her throat feels thick and her hand unsteady and it’s all ridiculous because she knows Kara loves her, knows she’s going to say yes and she’s faced so many more nerve wracking situations than this. With a final deep breath she turns the pumpkin so Kara can see it and waits for the realization to spread on her girlfriend’s face.

It takes a second, but suddenly Kara’s eyes go comically wide and she takes in a sharp breath as her gaze scans over the simple carving MARRY ME

Knowing that’s probably her cue, Lena pulls the box out of her pocket and opens it in Kara’s line of sight.

Kara’s eyes dart between the ring and the pumpkin, back and forth, back and forth. “What’s happening right now?”

She hears Alex laugh from somewhere else in the kitchen and wonders why she thought this would be a good idea to do in front of people, but soldiers on with a quirk of her lips. “I think we should get married.”

“You do?”

Lena nods. “Yeah. Thoughts?”

A second more of just blank, confused staring, before a wide unstoppable smile spreads over Kara’s lips and Lena feels her own face mirroring the expression.

“Yes,” Kara says definitively, dropping the utensils in her hand and striding forward to scoop Lena up into a tight hug. The embrace lifts her up off the ground and she nearly drops the ring in her hand, but she laughs as Kara starts to press kisses to her face.

“Yes?” Lena asks just to be sure though judging from the infectious way Kara is smiling the answer is fairly obvious.

“Yes,” Kara repeats before pushing their lips together for long enough that Lucy has to throw the top of a pumpkin at Kara’s head just to get them to stop.

–

When Alex wins the contest that year instead of Lena, Kara takes personal exception to it and throws her sister’s pumpkin out the window.

Feel free to check out my Ko-Fi page if you’re feeling nasty. 

[seventeen-scenarios-blog]

[SCENARIO] GardenFairy!Wonwoo

Just because I toooOoOoOtally don’t have 104398234 other works in progress......... :) I’m sorry this ended up way longer than I’d intended for it to be AHH the idea stemmed from a small talk between Hoshit and I, what the hell happened??

((((Also heavily featuring Mingyu because Meanie is life))))

wooed<3

okay so lets just say

Wonwoo’s a garden fairy that’s only five inches tall

With wings

He can shapeshift himself into a human-sized entity, but that kind of drains his powers a lot, so he tries his best to stay fairy-sized for as long as necessary

This tiny winged boi has been guarding this patch of grass at the back of a small single-story terrace house for the longest time. 

His calling is to care for the gardens of the one that lives in the house

But the house has been left uninhabited for almost a dozen years

Wonwoo’s just left to wander about the fields

Yunno, just to make sure they stay healthy and green

He can’t really leave too, since it’s basically the sole purpose of his existence

Eventually gets too lazy and/or tired to tend to the weeds that are overwhelming the plot

Potential tenants enter the house with the landlord, but most of the time they leave without any promise to return

He even gets disdainful glares from the women when they glance out at the untended garden

But it’s not his fault...

It gets really lonely sometime and he gets unmotivated to carry out his job especially since there’s no one there to help him

Anyway

He totally has a love-hate relationship with the stray cat that had taken a stubborn residence in his precious patch

It poops everywhere, claws at Wonwoo’s wings and incessantly meows whenever he’s trying to get some sleep

Wonwoo doesn’t like her at first, but when she had saved him from a hungry tree shrew,

God she’s the most precious tabby he’s laid his eyes on alskdja like she’s basically turns into the sweetest pumpkin pie when he starts rubbing on the spots behind her ears.

And whenever Wonwoo gets tired from using his wings or walking across great lengths, he simply rests on her warm ginger fur

He dubs her ‘Thy Noble Steed’

So one day

While Wonwoo’s snoozing on ‘Thy Noble Steed’’s furry pelt

He gets startled awake by a moving truck pulling up in the driveway

Wait omg, could it be?

And lo and behold, this young man steps out of the moving van, and wastes no time to start helping the movers to shift his furniture in

Tall, freakishly tall when you’re five inches, decked in a plain beige trenchcoat which he promptly removes to convenience him while he carries the heavy couch

Wonwoo recognizes him as the final-year university student that came to survey the house almost half a year ago

He’s moving in?????

Of course this sm0l fairy is bursting with excitement he’s been waiting for this moment for a whole decade

And he’s even more excited that out of all the potential tenants that could have moved into the house

It was him

Because he’s the only one who has ever showed any sympathy towards Wonwoo’s precious garden

When he came to survey his house all those months ago

Wonwoo had sought refuge under some overgrown bracket fungus when said newcomer came to inspect the patch of grass behind his could-be future home

It was then Wonwoo had heard his voice for the first time

Deep, slightly husky but also ringing with utmost fascination

When he crouches down to examine the gradually yellowing fronds and thinning stems of the plants left by the previous tenant

“You’ll make a good home for my vegetables,” he had said with a hint of a grin on his face. “If I ever move in here, I’ll take good care of you, I promise.”

Oh bless Wonwoo’s tiny heart

He’s been finding himself subconsciously praying to meet this Big Friendly Giant (rofl props to you if you get that reference, by the way) again

!!!!! AND HE’S HERE !!!!!

It takes a while but the new tenant finally managed to settle down in his new home

And a curious Wonwoo had to get a peek of his new companion

So he furiously bats his tiny pair of wings to pull him up to the window ledge

Phew, he hasn’t been getting this much strenuous exercise in a while (minus that one time he was outrunning the tree shrew)

He peers into the room to commence his spying

The first thing he sees is a steel stepladder and a long(??) figure perching on top of it with his hand outstretched towards the ceiling

With eyes blown wide Wonwoo watches as the boy:

Changes lightbulb after lightbulb in the house

Hooks up the wires to the big black thing with the big screen that shows tiny people when it’s turned on

And that tiny white thingamabob hanging on the wall that made annoying ringing sounds every now and then

Hey, no one said Wonwoo’s an electronics whiz 

But either way, wow he looks like a competent guy?!

Surely he would be able to help Wonwoo restore the precious garden to it’s former glory...

Right?

Wonwoo couldn’t get much sleep that night because he’s so so nervous

Partly because he’s finally found a purpose in his existence again

But also because he’s been out of this game for so long, he’s not sure if he’s able to do a good job

He spends the night trying to recall what basic vegetables like spinach looked like and almost cries because he couldn’t

so precious omg creys

He’s been wanting this for so long, he needs to make sure he doesn’t fail the new tenant

And if the straw sunhat and flowery ahjumma pants the BFG sports when he walks into the backyard is anything to go by,

he means business

Oh my god, Ahjumma pants... are those still trending?

Wonwoo gets overly distracted by his flashy entrance he almost forgot to hide

Thank goodness for ‘Thy Noble Steed’’s timely intervention that provided ample distraction and time for Wonwoo to duck behind an abandoned flowerpot

Once again, Wonwoo comes face to face with him, and hears his voice again for the first time in months.

“Hello, it’s me, Mingyu again.” Mingyu, so that’s his name.

“I promised that I’ll take care of you, didn’t I? Now let us make good on that promise.”

AWWWW YIIIIIISS

He stands up with a determined glint in his eyes, and Wonwoo’s almost about to squeal with joy

But then Mingyu pauses, then proceeds to pat himself down

“Oh god, I left the gardening supplies back in the house.”

And everything goes downhill from hereon.

Wonwoo’s face quickly morphs from admiration to utter horror when Mingyu re-emerges from the house

Arm full of gardening supplies

And promptly trips over the curb and spills evERYTHING IN HIS HANDS

You know they say how the bigger you are, the harder you fall?

Wonwoo swears he could hear every bone in Mingyu’s body pop

Then he sits down by the grass

“Oh, these look pretty, I’ll keep these ones growing,” he declares as he REMOVES THE SEEDLINGS AND STARTS CULTIVATING THE WEEDS

WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HELL??

ALL OF WONWOO’S HARD WORK

DESTROYED IN THE HANDS OF THE GIANT IN A SINGLE MORNING

HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO TINY GARDEN FAIRY WONWOO

NO NO NO THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING, MAYBE HE’S JUST TIRED FROM THE MOVE HE’LL GET HIS HEAD ON STRAIGHT SOONER OR LATER

but no

Wonwoo’s image of this Big Friendly Giant is promptly shattered within the next two days

He does know his way around the lawnmower, thank goodness. Wonwoo doesn’t want to get his wings sliced off any time soon, thanks

But ???? if he thinks vegetables and fruits are magically going to sprout overnight just by scattering assorted seeds haphazardly across the barely tilled soil and then DROWNING them in 10 galleons of water, Wonwoo’s got news for him

IT. DOESN’T. WORK. LIKE. THAT.

*insert sm0l wonwoo making frustrated gestures and hissing indiscernable curses under his breath from behind his tiny toadstool*

When Mingyu finally retires for the night and heads back to sleep

Wonwoo springs into action, rearraging the seeds to make sure they have ample space to germinate, sorting them by types (he only has carrots, pepper and spinach), and adding grit to drain out the moisture Mingyu had given them a generous dosage of

Even manages to convince ‘Thy Noble Steed’ to help dig and loosen the soil

Ends up toiling the night away bc there’s no way in hell he’s going to let his first gig in a decade go down the drain like that

Eventually gets impatient and shapeshifts into his human form so that he can be more productive

Famous First Words™ by Wonwoo 

Honey, it’s because you’re living with Kim Mingyu now

A super drained and exhausted, tiny-again Wonwoo collapses onto his cat’s fur by daybreak

But if he thinks things will get any better after this

He thinks wrong

Sometimes Mingyu gets forgetful and goes out for basically the whole day, leaving the garden unattended

Which is definitely unideal when growing something as delicate as spinach

So Wonwoo has to step in and water the plants himself

And when Mingyu does come to the garden... he ends up fussing over the perfect placements for the garden gnomes he had bought online rather than doing actual gardening

“Wow, the carrots are really growing well.” *points to spinach* 

“I must be really good at this gardening thingamajig.” 

No, Mingyu, god no...

#SaveGardenFairyJeonWonwoo’sSanity2K17

No thanks to Mingyu, the vegetables began to grow and flourish

Mingyu comes out looking for the perfect ingredients to make his signature dishes

As bad as a gardener Mingyu turned out to be, he’s actually a hella good cook, as Wonwoo could tell from the number of guests he invites over and the absurd amounts of time he spends in the kitchen whipping up meals

But this time this giant man wanted to use his homegrown ingredients (for, yunno, the sincerity of it all i guess?) So this tree of a man emerges from his house armed with an empty basket (and a sun visor, mind you)

As usual, Wonwoo seeks refuge behind his trusty toadstool

Yeah, steal all my blood, sweat and hard work I’ve put into cultivating these you ass thanks for nothing

“Oh, the carrots are finally ripe? I’ll take these.”

He says while pointing to the spinach AGAIN

And Wonwoo finally snaps

“THOSE ARE SPINACH YOU DUMB TREE. CARROTS DON’T EVEN RIPEN.”

Mingyu looks up, stunned

“Is this the voice of god?”

“I’M DOWN HERE, DINGBAT.”

Mingyu just blinks down at this five inch tall child with wings yelling at a six foot giant

“What are you supposed to be? Some kind of gremlin?”

“I’M A GARDEN FAIRY, THE GUARDIAN OF THE--”

Wonwoo doesn’t get to finish his sentence because Mingyu already has the tiny boy scooped up in his hands, and boom, he comes face-to-face with an overgrown puppy

“OHMYGOSHAREN’TYOUTHECUTESTLITTLETHINGEVERYALSKJFLAKJFYOU’RESOTINYANDPRECIOUSYOUNEEDTOBEPROTECTEDATALLCOSTSDOYOUWANTFOODIHAVEFOODANDWATERANDAWARMBEDFORYOUYOUTINYLITTLETHING.”

“Call me tiny one more time and I’ll stuff that carrot up your ass.”

“Yes, sir.”

So that marks the legendary meeting between Wonwoo and Mingyu

And thankfully things take the turn for the better.

With Wonwoo’s guidance, Mingyu manages to hone and refine his gardening skills (and is finally able to tell a spinach from a carrot)

“Why were you so bad at this again?”

“They made it look so easy when I was playing Gardening Mama on my DS as a kid...”

Slowly but surely, Mingyu becomes the capable tenant Wonwoo’s always longed for his garden

At times, he would let Wonwoo sit on his shoulder/in his pocket as he works. Wonwoo secretly really enjoys watching Mingyu cook.

Sometimes Mingyu forgets that he has a tiny living being perched on his right shoulder and he’d fkin SNEEZE there, sending the poor boy flying off drenched in snot

#SaveGardenFairyJeonWonwoo’sSanity2K17Part2

Mingyu persuades Wonwoo to abandon his shelter behind the toadstool and come live with him in his house, where he’s hand-knitted a large, woolen sock for the fairy to sleep in 

Even sews a tiny doll named Bongie to accompany Wonwoo in case he gets lonely

naw

Mingyu even adopts ‘Thy Noble Steed’ into his home and promptly starts and argument with Wonwoo because he wants to rename her Fluffy McMuffins the First

Fluffy McMuffins ‘Thy Noble Steed’ the First is a TOTAL sweetheart to Wonwoo by the way, but hisses at Mingyu all the damn time.

But they still make a happy-ish family

One day the two wake up to discover that their yard’s been overrun by gophers, and all of their crops have been either damaged or eaten

“Can’t you sprinkle some fairy dust to make them go away,” cries Mingyu

“I don’t know, Mingyu, can’t you stop your whining for once?”

So to help Mingyu deal with the pest issue, Wonwoo slides off his shoulder and in a bang of light he morphs into his human form

And Mingyu’s jaw hits the ground

“YOU’RE A DUDE?!”

At this point Wonwoo doesn’t even try to entertain his companion anymore

Wonwoo ends up passing out from exhaustion from holding up his human form for too long and spending the day chasing rodents

Wakes up tucked in his sock-bed with a tiny towel across his forehead

“Ey, nobody told you to show off your fancy fairy powers like that, now look what you did to yourself,” Mingyu nags

Mingyu ends up nursing the fairy back to health.

But omg imagine Mingyu purchasing those mini Japanese cooking sets so that he can cook fairy-sized dishes for Wonwoo vvvvv

im literally so soft rn ^^^^^

“You realise that I can always just take small chunks of your own food?”

“Shut up and let me care for you.”

This goes on for a while, and the both of them establish a peaceful coexistence.

Wonwoo makes sure the garden is in healthy and optimal condition

While Mingyu takes care of him (and by extension, Fluffy McMuffins ‘Thy Noble Steed’ the First), and makes sure he doesn’t overwork himself

This goes on for a while, and Wonwoo’s finally happy and fulfilled

Until the first morning of Autumn rolls around...

“KIM MINGYU, THIS ISN’T HOW YOU SOW PUMPKIN SEEDS?!?!??!”

And here they go again