#pushing beyond limits
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The Turning Point: Choosing Growth Over Stagnation
The Choice to Grow The Catalyst for Change I sat at my desk, glancing around at the people surrounding me—middle-aged, heavier set, tired, and drowning in complaints. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks: this is my future if I don’t change. If I keep doing the same thing, following the same routine, I’ll end up just like them—stuck, uninspired, and wondering where all the time went. That…
#Breaking Bad Habits#Building New Skills#Content Creation#Creative Thinking#Focus & Discipline#Growth Mindset#Inspired Living#Journaling for Growth#Learning Faster#Mindful Consumption#Mindset Shift#Overcoming Fear#Overcoming Procrastination#personal growth#Pushing Beyond Limits#Self-Improvement#Success Habits#The Power of Change#Time Management
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Push Past Limits: Unlock the Extraordinary Life Waiting for You"
"Step Beyond Comfort: Unlock Your Greatest Potential"
"True growth begins outside your comfort zone. It’s in those moments of challenge and courage that your extraordinary potential is revealed. Embrace the mindset to push beyond limits and transform your life into one of inspiration and achievement."
"Break free from comfort today—step into your greatness and start shaping the extraordinary life you deserve!"
#PushBeyondLimits #UnlockYourPotential #ExtraordinaryLife #ComfortZoneBreakthrough #StepIntoGreatness #FearlessLiving #BoldMoves #GrowthMindset #SculptYourDestiny #UnleashYourPower #LimitlessPotential #CourageToGrow #TransformYourFuture #EmbraceChallenges #ReachNewHeights #BreakBoundaries #BoldLeap #PersonalGrowthJourney #DestinedForGreatness #DreamBigActBold
#inspirational#quotes#motivating quotes#inspiring quotes#inspirational quotes#success#motivational#motivation#inspiration#quote#pushing beyond limits#greatest potential#comfort zone growth#extraordinary life#sculpt your destiny#embrace challenges#step into greatness#comfort zone breakthrough#growth through discomfort#unlock potential#bold actions#fearless living#reach new heights#unleash power#limitless potential#extraordinary mindset#transform your future#break boundaries#courage to grow#bold leap forward
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Man that sure is a Situation where two 14 year olds push the limits of each other’s trauma responses until they both reach extreme breaking points. and then they deal with the aftermath basically all by themselves. Isn't that super awesome and totally not kinda fucked up at all.
#anyway i was thinking of the mob and teru fight. as usual. and i dont know how to voice my thoughts beyond. whatever i just drew#also ‘pushing the limits of each other’s trauma responses’ means both intentionally (teru) or unintentionally (mob). not to justify Someone#anyone else think about how one of teru's first lines is#“if i show these guys how big of a gap there is they'll be more restrained in the future”. cuz I do. whats his deal.#Mob psycho should have been about mob frolicking in a delightful field with various friends and family members#having a joyous time forever (no bad things happen)#mp100#added ID in alt text !!#mp100 fanart#my art
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WHY DOES DONGSIK LOOK LIKE HES FALLING IN LOVE WHILE JUWON PUTS THE CUFFS ON HIM WHY DOES JUWON LOOK LIKE FOLLOWING HIS RIDICULOUS MORAL COMPASS THAT HAS PROPELLED HIM THROUGH THIS ENTIRE SHOW IS BREAKING HIM INTO PIECES WHY CAN THEY ONLY HOLD HANDS WHEN DONGSIK IS HANDCUFFED WHAT THE HELL
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Someone on Twitter said that since Sephiroth is associated with stars/the cosmos (and a direct mirror to Aerith who is like the representative of Earth), that his fall from grace is like if a star lost its light and fell, but that made me think of how his final limit break is Supernova, and that’s the death of a star.
It’s the final stage before it dies or collapses into a black hole, sometimes little neutron stars. It releases that last burst of energy and then loses itself. Sephiroth was born to expand and grow to his cosmic limit and die in a blaze of glory. Both beautiful and utterly terrifying.
#i know supernova was kind of an illusionary thing but i think the cosmic symbolism is deliberate with him :(#makes me sad again#the other thing is…had he become a god like he planned….he would have probably become stupidly powerful like that#his thing is pushing his strength to the limit and going beyond…they keep mentioning it fs stuff#and his true limit break is supernova and would have been so for real#ugh#he was a star on earth and he never stopped expanding and growing and he went out in a blaze of glory#sephiroth#ff7#supernova#astronomy
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MOVING FORWARD
Haha hey so I finally make a tribute for the arc I absolutely love from Re:Zero.
As you can see, the concept is as simple as: Those who face the imaginary Reinhard are the ones "who wish to 'save' him." While those who face other sides are ... well, they have their own agenda.
Also, I've just listened to a song that really suits Felt a lot in this arc; that's what inspired me to make this art:
"That's right. What I've always wanted to be isn't a mere heroine, but a hero who goes to the rescue." –––Suisei Hoshimachi "Stellar Stellar"
It's obvious that Felt doesn't fit the mold of a typical heroine or princess. Well, maybe the 'I've always wanted to be' is rather inaccurate because Felt's desire to relieve Reinhard's burden is only developed later on after a year of bonding. (but what can I do. It's part of the lyric LOL). But anyways, the way I see it, she is definitely the "hero" in this story. Simply because she has the desire to 'rescue' Reinhard.
Felt doesn't fight Aldebaran because she wants to get herself a good name to better her reputation for the Royal Selection nor because she particularly resents him, but because "she has the power to fight off the imminently approaching peril and for the sake of her one and only Knight, who bore the duty of being the first one to hasten into such situations." –––quoted from Arc 9, Chapter 18
So ofc I gotta draw her in a way that makes her look like the protagonist here. She's been getting a lot of highlights, after all! (Deserved)
Moving on from Felt-sama... Let's talk about Yae.
I give her a bloodshot, bombastic side-eye because, since day 1, this gurl has been wanting to kill Felt. She even puts Heinkel and Felt together because she hopes they'd kill each other. Her only leash is Al's demand to not have anyone die, ngl.
Now, Aldebaran.
Reinhard to him is simply like a lid to his extreme methods. He needs him alive, but does he care about Reinhard's well-being? Hell nah. Bro is simply one of the tools in his grand plan.
Roy Alphard.
[ashamed, tiny voice] Wow I don't really understand bro actually...! That's why I only put him behind Al and make him far from being the focus of the art, like "hehe this dangerous lil gremlin who is one of the trump cards for the antagonist."
Heinkel.
Aaah ofc he MUST look troubled. Bro has been extremely conflicted here and there since the beginning of this arc. I'm definitely not a Heinkel expert but even just reading his feelings and circumstances, you can definitely tell that he's currently being in complex situations innerly and outwardly. But yes, he is one of the rescue gang..! But let's put him rather behind because he is sneaky sneaky. If anything, I can catch glimpses that he genuinely still cares and loves Reinhard... Man . . .
Wilhelm.
Yknow, he is added rather later in my art draft. Was about to draw him lying on the ground, but no space, also skill issue. So I'll just draw him standing (because lying down will ruin the composition consistency too). Anyway, he is super beaten up from his fight with Yae and Alcanica, not to mention Heinkel's surprise stab. So far, he is out of commission; that's why this one of Reinhard's rescuers is facing downward, with frown tho. Because his last words before losing consciousness was literally something like, "Heinkel you stupid son. Bruh you think your method can save Rein??"
Smh. Honestly these 3 (Felt, Heinkel, and Wilhelm) need to just sit down and have a nice talk around bonfire while eating skewered fish whatever and discuss the best way to save Rein. (I knew it. There is none. Tappei told me btw).
Lastly, Reinhard.
In this art I sure want to emphasize his "resignation" to fate/what the world expects from him. He doesn't object; he doesn't even show effort to run away or break free from his duty. To him, this is something he /must/ do, and that's why he's closing his eyes, absolutely resigned and accepting. He doesn't even wish to be saved. His own feelings don't matter at all before his sense of duty.
Shadow hands are obviously Witch of Envy's to depict their longlasting battle.
As for the halo around his neck, it's Od Lagna (Thanks to @j2x3e for the idea btw!). Sure, he is the saint, the antibody to all the shitty things in Re:Zero world, but apparently, this monster can also feel things, and I can't even imagine how taxing it is to deal with Witch of Envy's overwhelming attacks, nonstop, no rest, can't even have his focus decreased a single bit or else world destruction is guaranteed. Soooo this saint, finds the halo suffocating, choking his freedom, even though he doesn't realize it, or maybe doesn't even allow himself to feel that way because he feels undeserving to let personal emotions cloud him. Thus why, even bloodied and surrounded by harming elements, his face is peaceful just like sleeping! :D Closing his eyes, closing himself from all the possibilities, just keep doing his duty.
Anyway, it's been so long since the last time I got so hyped and excited over a story. Thank you, Tappei.
#re:zero#re:ゼロから始める異世界生活#arc9#rezeroarc9#spoilers#but if you don't read my essay thoroughly I don't think my art is that spoiler..?#reinhard van astrea#felt rezero#yae tenzen#aldebaran#roy alphard#heinkel astrea#wilhelm van astrea#wilhelm trias#hehe wilhelm trias just because#felt-sama has been so cool in this arc btw#no wonder in tappei q&a in twt he said Felt feels more like a protag than Subaru#How can I find infos like that??? Well...#I told you I'm slightly dedicated!#btw this art took around 20 hours to finish#I'm legit so motivated#firstly is because of my love#secondly is because I want to push myself beyond my limits#That's why new rendering method woohoo#Also been experimenting a lot too with colors#I desperately want to improve my art...#anyway I tried to draw their wounds as accurately as possible to the novel#I hope I did them justice
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I may not be able to serve 69 drawings on Bill Gets Held Day, I fear....
I may have promised more than my meagre mortle capsule can perform to.

Will my dog sleeping gain your forgiveness...?
I would be happy with just one (1) bill gets held drawing lmao
#puppy...#also psa: never feel obligated to push yourself beyond you limits for a silly holiday i made up!#this is just supposed to be a fun low stress fandom thing that we can all enjoy#it is all truly deeply unserious#asks
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ZEROBASEONE ZHANG HAO + XLOV RUI ✧ TikTok Update ✧ I'mma Be
#zb1#zerobaseone#zhang hao#hao#xlov#xlov rui#rui#video#tiktok#ig#instagram#prezent era#i'mma be#favorite#THE NOISES GSHJFDS HAO IS PUSHING HIS LIMIT#I LOVE THIS SOOOOOO MUCH LIKE LOOKIT EM GO#i watched boys planet from the beginning for hui#and then hao and kuanjui quickly stole my heart#i voted for them all soooooo much#so this is just beyond incredible to see now in 2025 gdhsjkfsd im so happy#*
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evil ashur… thoughts pinging around in my head
#hmmmmmmm#not tevinter magister evil. pushed beyond limits kind of evil#ends justifying the means evil#corrupted by outside forces evil#only one guy able to bring me back to myself kind of evil
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honestly, really, and truly need to talk about getting the detective some therapy.
#twc#twc detective#grapecase plays#kendis x felix pt#a mismatch ship pt#and this is if you free yourself.#i don't remember how it goes if you don't ... but to give up so thoroughly. to be so drained from the pain#idk which is worse#to be so hollowed out. tired and scared. or to keep pushing yourself beyond your limits#there were two responses i liked for kendis in the previous option but i decided to pick the one that didnt get them violently stabbed with#a needle on top of everything else#love a good whump#but you know. even i have limits lol
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band au rahhhhhhhhhhh
#i wanted to draw the other guardians too but this would be a good start#ok so#tsuna starts his band. yamamoto bass and gokudera keys and tsuna suprisingly drummer and also lead vocal. reborn appears out of nowhere-#being “youre not your full potential so i will drain you till youre like a fish in a dehydrator until you become the best out there.”#thats about it#but i just like how drumming singers are like extremely good music people because drumming is already hard. and singing too???#absolutely insane i might say. tsuna would do this (bc reborn told him so)#he does not want to be the best but reborn exists in the paro for a reason#reborn is like maybe a famous musician who faked his death then did whatever he wanted to do while he was “alive”. then he got tsuna as his#apprentice and so so. oh yeah also whiplash (the movie) reference bc holy shit its so good. for me at least. and reborn would make tsuna go#that kind of crazy. like training until drenched in sweat from morning to night or whenever hes available. bc he knows he has potential#he just need someone to push him beyond his expected limit#btw 8059 implied#gokudera joined the band first bc yeah then comes yamamoto for fun as he had to rest from playing baseball a bit too enthusiastic#gokudera hated him so much for like being dumb??? (the goofy ah laugh) but then the two dated even before reborn made a move on tsuna#its very funny but they work it out#i was also thinking if the band ever do solos or do something not as the whole band 8059 will have their own album. itll be great#for genre im not sure?? lets just say alt rock electrojazz????#no idea but maybe ill make a playlist. maybe#sawada tsunayoshi#reborn#yamamoto takeshi#gokudera hayato#8059#r27
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me when the boy savior the boy saved everyone: 🤯🤯🤯
#me when the boy savior loops time over and over and over to keep the girl he hates and loves and grieves and forgives from killing herself#me when the boy savior risks everything and pushes time beyond its limit as the entire city sits paralyzed around him so he can save them#me when the boy savior who serves as an atlas figure and monolith for all that has happened in zaun + to jinx and has harbored so much#jaded anger as he’s yearned and grieved for all that could have been while pushing himself to fight for better things finally gets to fix#part of what went wrong (saving jinx and choosing to see her as someone who can change Again <- feeling that is part of what Made him so#cynical in the first place bc his friend was Gone and how is a kid supposed to grapple w that while still trying to be a beacon of hope??)#and solidify himself as the last and only hope in the end (which is what he always was and always was going to be) <333#my arcane s2 criticisms are glaring but i still have ekko goggles on#ah shit i just remembered the firelights were snubbed in favor of the half baked jinx revolutionaries. damn.#like don’t we remember why he was the boy savior in the first place. ah fuck. damn.#nvm i can’t think about it i’m going to get mad 😭#anyways.txt#arcane spoilers
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thinking of peekaboo as a sliver of the locker wight is so interesting, bc it puts this entire interaction into a new perspective. peekaboo pulling dimitri into a spirit trance to play a game with it where he has to find it but its hiding in plain sight? choosing the same, childish game over and over? wow, that's sooo similar to what davy does with cryptide. peekaboo is lonely and doesn't have anyone to talk to if dimitri doesn't use its powers? wow, its almost like maybe the rest of it is locked in a dream or in a locker, unable to interact with others. didi will use powers lots? didi isn't mad at peekaboo anymore? hmmmm, its almost like it's heard someone say to their spirit companion something like "oh, i can't stay mad at you, my precious little cuddlefish!" before. and has maybe seen how great of friends they are and how often that person relies on their powers. maybe, bc it's lonely and has seen that person be such great friends with their spirit companion, it's jealous and wants that for itself
#reading back thru dimitri's peekaboo pages in ch8 and davy's cryptide page is like. ohhhh wow LOVE the parallels between you two#both of them met their spirit companions as children. both played w them when they were younger becoming friends.#both realized the potential of their spirits powers. pushing them beyond what they originally were to make them more powerful#(dimitri in the form of using it in new/exciting ways. making them his own and davy by making cryptide a grudge w powers w few limits)#both of them have to work to keep their spirit in check. keep them from going off. like a bomb#paranatural
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s4 episode 24 "gethsemane" thoughts
season FINALE!!! whew, it has been an emotional time these last few months, let me tell you that. i’m wondering how or if this will be wrapped up.
the episode description makes no mention of scully’s illness, just more aliens. we always end the seasons with aliens. i imagine that this will also be a cliffhanger, so i’m trying to brace myself for that now.
(author's note: there was nothing short of reaching enlightenment that could have prepared me for this, and even if i had ascended to nirvana, i might have been ripped back out by the sheer tragedy of this storyline)
but damn, with a title like gethsemane, i’m expecting even more tears than usual.
(author's note: yeah)
let us no longer delay.
we begin with some videos from 1972, including carl sagan! what’s he doing here? well, he’s doing alien things. are you surprised?
the man on the screen is speaking about the probability of contacting aliens. he says it is very high.
and then cut to scully in some very yellow lighting, politely trying to get to a crime scene to do some FBI business!
wait. is that mulder’s couch???
she just needed to make an ID on a body and BRO WHAT. DID SHE FIND MULDER DEAD??? IN HIS OWN APARTMENT?????
HELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOO???!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
now she’s in a meeting room with a lot of important people….
she’s explaining how she was assigned to the x files four years ago…. and she’s explaining the mulder lore.
“i come here today, four years later, to report on the illegitimacy of agent mulder’s work” <- WOAH WHAT??? betrayal?????
“it is my scientific opinion that he became over the course of these years a victim- a victim of his own false hopes, and in his belief in the biggest of lies” <- that is so sad????!?!??
HELLO??? WHAT??? hey. what’s going on. is that really scully? or is it an alien?
well. they’ve gotten me both hooked and worried.
is she lying to save him?? is he dead?? is she preserving his reputation in death?? because she said that stuff in the past tense… or maybe he was killed and she will be next if she doesn’t renounce everything???
WHAT IS AFOOT HERE.
scully i just publicly declared you my favorite, you can’t make me take that back…
(author's note: i should have never doubted her <3)
ohhhh fancy, the intro says “believe the lie”
helicopter over the yukon in canada. some guys say the stuff at camp is unbelievable. that's quite a jump in tone from before.
and now they’re marching up the hill, saying they’re very excited etc etc. it looks to be exhausting work. the score is very suspenseful.
they arrive in a cave and shake hands as the newcomers are introduced. and what is in there but…. a frozen alien???
i was hoping it would be a perfectly preserved mammoth :( but okay… whatever… (sadly kicks dirt around)
back to the meeting room with scully!!! she says there have been recent developments on the assumption that aliens exist… mulder was contacted by a man whose “pursuit of this evidence seemed to coincide with his own”, and she says he was duped!!!! fooled by scientific slight of hand!!!
and she’s here to expose this lie… and to expose his work for what it is….
GIRL, WHAT WENT DOWN???
now a cut to some sort of scully family event!! she’s telling a story about her brother bill. will we finally get to see him!? yes!! here he is!!! like their father, he is also in the navy, and seems to be pretty decorated.
and he says he sent her a birthday card, to which she says “thanks for remembering this year” LMAOOO get him again for me!!
(why does no one remember her birthday!!! i will cry!!!)
the priest arrives… and scully’s face falls…. why is she sad to see him? and why did he get invited??? i’m stressed.
father mccue is talking to her about drifting from the church and feeling awkward, but her mom asked him to come tonight. he says turning back to faith is essential in times like this. she says she hasn’t felt a need to draw on faith for strength, that she has some. and she won’t coming running back now.
huh, i wonder if she thinks that “running back” to the church will be admitting defeat. she says she’d be lying to herself and to him if she did that.
maybe she has only lightly been dabbling in god-related affairs since revelations, but not enough to want to return to mass.
but a phone rings… it’s mulder!!!
he says he’s sorry to interrupt her dinner, (so at least there’s some self awareness there) but someone named arlinsky at the smithsonian contacted him about a mountain in canada.
he says she needs to meet him RIGHT AWAY. BRO???????? she looks SO sad when he said that.
she would do ANYTHING for him. and tbh i see why she wants to expose him now. fuck that.
she’s assuring him that it’s okay, and he’s trying to apologize, but i’m still mad at him, and scully should be too. and who the hell is this arlinsky guy? apparently he was involved in a ufo photo faking?? but he claims he’s innocent?? THAT is what disrupted her dinner??
he says he won’t tell her what she’s about to see….
he has pictures of an alien frozen in the mountain and she looks deeply unimpressed. girl me too!
apparently the alien has been in the ice for 200 years. and babcock (arlinsky's colleague) was part of the team that found it.
arlinsky says it’s a very remote location for it to be a hoax, to which mulder once again displays some self awareness with his “well if you’re gonna go, why not go all the way?” but again, not enough to prevent himself from getting in this situation in the first place
arlinsky pulls out the ice core samples from each side of the body, and says he sincerely believes they have a full corpse of an alien.
but family dinner. i care about that more.
mulder says no one will believe him, and the same people that hid the truth will be asked to authenticate it, so there will be no confirmation either. which is why arlinsky wants him to go and get the body, because he knows it means everything to mulder
ohhhh scully says she has no opinion… “this is your holy grail, mulder, not mine” <- i am glad she is admitting she has no horse in this race
OHHH “proving the existence of alien life is not my last dying wish” <-yeah remind him that you’re literally dying and you can’t waste time because he SEEMS TO HAVE FORGOTTEN!!!!
“this is not some selfish pet project of mine, scully” <- well if it’s for the sake of your sister, but you’re hurting the people around you for it, that is still selfish actually
woah woah woah i had to write this next part out...
“you already believe, mulder, what difference will it make? i mean, what will proof change for you?”
“if someone could prove to you the existence of god, would it change you?”
“only if it has been disproven”
“then you accept the possibility that belief in god is a lie?” (where are you going with this…? this is a sensitive subject for her!)
“i don’t think about it, actually. and i don’t think it can be proven”
“but what if it could be? wouldn’t that knowledge be worth seeking? or is it easier to go on believing the lie?”
this exchange made me feel frustrated. i wish he would be less ahab-like all of the time. yes, it is a huge deal that someone found an alien. but i see no reason why he couldn't have gone to that meeting by himself. and bringing god into this when he knows that's something very personal to her is a low blow. i get the point he was trying to make about believing the lie and all that, but c'mon man.
mulder honey, i get that this is a big deal to you, but time and place.
she tells him that she cannot go with him, but then he says, well can you just look at the ice core samples please. and she nods her head reluctantly.
cut back to the big meeting room with scully and other very important people
“what i couldn’t tell agent mulder, what i had only just learned myself, was that the cancer which had been diagnosed in me several months earlier had metastasized. and the doctors told me, short of a miracle, it would continue to aggressively invade my body, advancing faster each day towards the inevitable” <- OH MY GOD??? oh my god.
but why wouldn't she tell him... did she think that telling him then would interrupt his alien quest?? and she didn't want to do that because she knows how important it is to him? or did she not want him to worry?
because i would have told him!!! i would have said it right then and there!! but she is very different from me...
the fact that she is aware that she has so little time left and STILL left her dinner to go deal with his nonsense… scully, i fear you give too much and need to do things for yourself, please please
back on the mountain, they’re cutting the ice with a chainsaw. feels a bit unscientific, but i mean i guess that’s how you get that stuff done.
one guy is loading a pistol??? saying he doesn’t know the men well. that’s suspicious. i don’t care for it.
there’s something in the ice. maybe a bubble. or a casting hole!! of liquid poured!! could this be a fake?? but the angle wouldn’t make sense, says one guy. hmm... i'm not sure what to think.
did they put a fake alien all the way up here…? and why is gun guy looking around all shady like…?
back to the core samples in DC. the scientist says he found some hybrid cells in there, not plants nor animals, but chimera, and he wants to get them under a microscope. hmm… can we clone da alien :3
someone walks into the cave in the yukon with a shotgun!!! and kills all of the men!!!!! what the hell!!! is this a real alien then?????
this happens just as others begin the hike up the mountain, including the smithsonian guy arlinsky. and mulder!! i didn’t even recognize him under all those baggy coats and sunglasses. wow. i feel like a fake fan.
someone was supposed to meet them and guide them up the mountain, but there’s no one there, and all the supplies are frozen over. so they begin the hike on their own, following the tracks from the others.
oh! the find someone keeled over in the snow, to which mulder remarks “funny place to take a nap”. again with the inappropriate jokes as a coping mechanism. it’s the guide that was supposed to meet them!! and he was shot and killed!!!
well, the alien is starting to look more authentic as the bodies pile up.
back at the lab, scully is looking for the scientist, but she doesn’t find him. what she does find is a guy stealing the core sample???
he shoves her down the stairs?????? what the HELL!!!!
see, i thought the alien was a lie at first, but now it’s starting to appear compelling.
mulder and smithsonian guy arlinsky have arrived at the cave, and he pulls out his gun. they find all of the bodies from the crew, and no alien!!! it has been carved out!!!
mulder hypothesizes that perhaps someone was listening to their radio comms and came to hide their alien knowledge, but they hear some groans. and babcock is still alive!!
he says that the alien body wasn’t taken, but that he buried it!! and sure enough, they find it beneath their feet. mulder looks at it with amazement. big moment for a guy like him.
but scully!!! her face is bruised and her pristine lab coat is covered in blood! bill comes in with a change of clothes. and he didn’t tell their mom what happened.
“i was knocked down a flight of stairs… but i’m okay, luckily”
“you’re not okay, dana” <- OHHHH BILL. please tread carefully.
he says he knows about her cancer and she says mom wasn’t supposed to tell him!!!
she says she doesn’t want sympathy, and he accuses her of thinking she can cure herself. which feels like a terribly low blow.
OHHHH MY GOD. wait hold on. hold on.
“what are you doing at work getting knocked down and beaten up? what are you trying to prove? that you’re gonna go out fighting?”
“oh now, come on, bill”
“do you know what mom is going through? why do you think i didn’t tell her when they called?”
“what should i be doing?” (said with great frustration)
“we have a responsibility, not just to ourselves, but to the people in our lives”
“hey, look, just-just because i haven’t bared my soul to you or to father mccue or to god, it doesn’t mean that i’m not responsible to what’s important to me” (this was very defensive and exasperated in tone)
“to what? to who? this guy mulder? well, where is he, dana? where is he through all this?”
well…. i want to defend mulder, to say he doesn’t know, but just because he doesn’t know that her cancer is getting worse doesn’t mean he shouldn’t have been more sensitive. he actually has been very conscientious, which makes this whole alien thing all the more sudden and infuriating!!!
she is stunned into silence as bill looks at her with fury. and she doesn’t say anything more to him beyond “thank you for coming” <-god, what was she supposed to even say?? i get trying to shake her back to reality, but who did that cruelty help??
bill, i get what you were trying to do, but you pissed me off in the way that you did it. do you always show the people you care for that you love them by screaming at them? because if so. not a very effective tactic.
mulder is unboxing the alien, which is now in DC, and he’s trying to thaw it with the smithsonian guy arlinsky and babcock! who is doing better! despite taking a shotgun bullet.
babcock asks if it were a hoax, why would there be 6 men dead over it, which is a good question.
ewwww, the alien looks so gross….
with the help of another FBI agent, she finds the guy who hurt her!!!! and he’s working for the government!!!! in the pentagon‘s research facility!!! his name is kritschgau. they should not hire people in the government who assault women in stairwells.
mulder and crew are getting x rays and scans of the alien. mulder is wearing a sweater, but i’m still mad at him so i will NOT make note of how cute it is.
the alien body is gross as hell. they’re filming an autopsy. ohhh he’s cutting the eye membrane off. EWWWW. EWWW.
now the ribs…… ewww ewww ewwww EWW IT CRUNCHES. NASTY. he takes the ribs out and starts looking at the heart and lungs and some other white stuff in the chest. gag.
meanwhile, scully’s casing the joint looking for the dude kritschgau who assaulted her, and she finds him, tracks him down, and nearly hits him with her car!!! she has her gun and is going after him!!!! he is under arrest!!!
she is NOT messing around. we see a level of scully fury here that is incredibly potent and shown to us infrequently. i enjoy it, but it also makes me sad, because it shows how much stress she is under.
it appears he has slipped away, but she catches him!!!!! yes ma'am!!!!
kritschgau says that if he gets arrested, they’ll kill him. “they” being the same people that gave her cancer!!! how tf does he know about that???”
meanwhile, the alien organs are being weighed.
then cutscene back to the big meeting with scully!!! she’s telling them about how they smuggled the corpse back, saying mulder was ready to believe it was an alien.
but kritschgau convinced her it was otherwise, and not a true alien… he explained how mulder and her had been deceived and used, and that it was part of their plan that led to missy’s death and her illness.
god, how she must have felt hearing that… that everything that had happened to her was a waste, that the only point in her suffering was to advance corruption... it must have been devastating
as mulder leaves the warehouse where the autopsy was occurring, it seems he’s being watched by a guy with a shotgun??? is the shotgun guy going from before after the alien people????
it IS shotgun guy from before!!!! he knows babcock?? and he kills smithsonian guy arlinsky!!!
now who tf is this babcock fellow?!?!?!?!?!?
kritschgau is now sitting in mulder's apartment, explaining the "everything is a lie" story to him. mulder asks why he'd do this now- a fair question- and kritschgau says he came to him because his son is very sick after serving in the gulf war. i suppose if in this universe that is also something that has been covered up by the government, it could spark some disillusionment in the whole process once it impacts him personally.
he says "they" invented mulder, the regression hypnosis, the story of his sister and what they told his dad, and that the alien body was made carefully in a lab. and it would never be carbon dated, it was only for him to see so he would go public with the news and discredit himself.
mulder declares kritschgau to be a liar, but he says the body is already long gone, so he leaves to check. and sure enough, when he goes back to the warehouse, it isn’t there, but arlinsky is dead, as is shotgun guy!!!
again, WHO TF IS BABCOCK??!?!?
the cellular materials were an exact match to what kritschgau described.
and this brings us to scully and mulder really fighting, really really fighting
“after all i’ve seen and experienced, i refuse to believe it’s not true” “because it’s easier to believe the lie, isn’t it?” <- ohh callback to earlier....
and she reveals that he said she was given this sickness to make him believe… oh my god, if that’s true, and her life is just a prop in their sick game…
he storms out.
back to the video from the 70’s we began with.
mulder is watching it and crying. oh no… the beginning is clicking into place for me…… oh no, i see what is coming….
back to the meeting room. she says she went to his apartment that morning to identify a body, and that mulder died of a self-inflicted gunshot
WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK?????????????????
thus concludes the episode
she’s crying, she’s crying, all i can think about is her crying, what the hell, what the hell….
so he killed himself because he realized he was being used as a pawn and it was his fault scully was dying…
normally i would have more to say. but i’m not gonna lie to you, i don’t. this is just so fucking sad. i don’t even have the words. never in a million years did i see this happening. what the hell???? what the hell?
do i believe this kritschgau guy??? i think he’s probably telling 30% of the truth. but not the whole thing. why would all those men die for a fake alien? i think he’s being deployed as a cover story as mulder gets too close. and i think some of this is engineered, but not as much as he claims.
and i'm willing to bet that "believing the lie" actually refers to scully believing his cover story!!!
man. i’m sorry but i’m just so sad. i have been so sad this whole season!!!!
mulder…… it was rude of you to interrupt her dinner…… but this was not the answer…
how is sneaky mulder going to get out of the situation THIS time??? and how is scully going to get out of the hole she's dug by reporting all of their work as fraud?? is bill going to be happy now?? lowkey fuck bill, btw.
wow... this is just painful. and i don't even have to wait months to find out what happens next. had i seen this when it aired live i probably would have entered a state of mourning.
so that's the end, huh? of the season, i mean. just sucker punch after sucker punch. i hope this isn't the tone of everything else moving forward. can i get uhhhh one order of whimsy please. with a side of mutual pining. and a small hurt/comfort, emphasis on the comfort. thank you.
after waiting 24 hours from watching the episode initially, i am still torn between how to proceed next. part of me wants to compile all of my favorite moments from the season like always, but the other part of me wants to begin the next episode right away, just so i can move on from such horrible mental imagery as mulder dead from a self-inflicted gunshot. what a terrible thing i wouldn't even have expected from fanfiction!
but, i can also see that the next episode is a two parter, and to be left on ANOTHER cliffhanger would be horrible- but probably LESS horrible than being left with the sadness of dead mulder, right? i don't know what to do! i am filled with indecision!!!!
:(
at least i can take away some fascinating analysis regarding scully's relationship to catholicism, and her idea that depending on any force outside of herself- be it family, friends, or god- is a sign of weakness. i mean, that is pretty telling about her character. and the fact that she believes this so strongly she tried to hide her cancer getting worse from her brother and succeeded in hiding it from mulder!!! to even voice the truth would make it real. maybe that's why she can't tell them, can't go to mass- because it would mean that the end is really near if she did so. i think it's about both the perceived ideas of weakness ingrained in her by her hardass parents and a refusal to let the situation she has found herself in be registered as real in her own mind. she knows it is. but maybe if she pushes it to the side, she can forget for a while.
wow. that sure is something to think over, and think it over i shall.
#chris carter owes me money for this nonsense. drop the venmo now.#scully :(#and btw shoutout to the people who gave me TWs#my policy is that i don't add content warnings to the writeup unless i go into detailed analysis far beyond what the episode shows#i operate under the assumption that if you read this blog you've seen the episodes before and therefore know what happens#and also this was set in the 90's. i would have to endlessly TW stuff because they did not give a damn about sensitivity.#i will say that this is the one subject that really pushes my limits so to those of you who warned me: i appreciate it <3#so: my next post will be the s4 highlights- just not sure when it'll come at you#and in the meantime i will keep daydreaming of the MSR halloween hangout that i bat around in my head like a cat a toy mouse#pumpkins. candy. scary movie. the couch. yeah. you see the vision?#crossing my fingers the new episode of agatha all along is happy so i can have a palate cleanser tomorrow LMAO#save me lesbian witches. save me from such angst. or at least give me angst but with laughter sprinkled in to make it doable!#juni's x files liveblog#4x24#the x files#txf
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i can give chronic pain to any character
#kris.txt#i just knowww tsukishima has back pain. look at him.#he's been pushing his body beyond physical limits for years#he's definitely getting out of bed like Augh augh augh augh augh. Okay im fine now.
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Charles's post-quali comments | Austrian GP Quali-Sprint Day | 29 June 2024
🎥 Scuderia Ferrari
#tough day at the office#but as always he tries whatever he can#pushing beyond the limit#charles leclerc#austrian gp 2024#austria24 quali day
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