#queue be thy name

[ourfatherwhoartinhell]

Phantom: To smithereens has got to be one of the worst ways to get blown

[nerevar-quote-and-star]

Bellatrix: Please, Lucien. Don't. I've lost too much already, I can't lose you too.

Lucien Lachance: Sorry, dear Bella. Safety's never been a good look on me.

[lpham2525]

Return Policy

INT. FORGER HOUSEHOLD – DAY  

LOID: Yor, I’m off to the tailor’s to pick up my new suit. Do you need anything while I’m out?  

YOR: Oh! If it’s not too much trouble, could you return this for me, please?  

YOR: *holds out a small shopping bag*  

YOR: I keep forgetting to return it and I think today’s the last day. I’d do it myself, but I already promised to drop off Anya and then meet up with Melinda. I bought this at the boutique next to your tailor’s shop.  

LOID: I can do that. Here, let me—  

LOID: *takes the bag from YOR, then stops cold when he sees the brand name on the bag*  

LOID: Yor, this...this is from Victoria’s Secret.  

YOR: Yes, my coworkers told me that’s where I would buy “clothes for my husband’s eyes only”.   

LOID: S-so you went shopping there...b-by yourself?  

YOR: *sheepish grin*  

YOR: Well, when we agreed to a fake marriage, I didn’t know if you wanted to have a fake honeymoon, too. I thought if you did, then I should be prepared with something so...er, so no one would suspect us! Not to actually do anything! But...but since we didn’t, I don’t need it anymore.  

YOR: *backtracking*  

YOR: You know, now that I think about it, it’s not a big deal! I can just keep it. You don’t have to go out of your way to—  

LOID: *raises a shaky hand*  

LOID: No, it’s perfectly fine. It’s...  

LOID: *clears throat as he pulls himself together*  

LOID: It’s perfectly understandable, Yor. I’d be happy to return this for you. It’s no trouble at all.  

YOR: Really? Thank you, Loid. I’m so glad you’re okay with this.  

LOID: Why wouldn’t I be? I’m just a husband...doing his duty...  

LOID: *swallows because his throat is suddenly dry*  

LOID: ...returning his wife’s lingerie.  

LOID: Well, I’ll...I’ll be off now. Good day. Or should I say good evening? Wait, it’s still morning!   

LOID: What are you doing, Twilight?! Get it together!   

LOID: *in a squeaky voice*  

LOID: I’ll be taking my leave now.   

LOID: *hurries out the door*  

YOR: I knew I shouldn’t have asked him...Now he’s going to think I’m some kind of freak...  

*****************************************************************  

EXT. STREETS OF BERLINT – DAY  

LOID: *rushing by in a daze, repeatedly glancing at the bag*  

LOID: Don’t look. Don’t look. Don’t look.  

LOID: *deep breath*  

LOID: A spy must always maintain his composure. A spy is always on the lookout for danger. A spy is aware of his surroundings at all times.   

LOID: *checks his surroundings over and over again, looking but not really seeing*  

LOID: If there’s no danger present, then why do I feel like I’m on high alert?  

[LOID stumbles into Victoria’s Secret and takes his place in the queue for customer service. He fixes his eyes on a blank spot on the wall and recites the entire Ostanian Secret Police Manual backwards, but every once in a while, his mind is still invaded by images of YOR in...less-than-modest clothing.]  

LOID: *mentally slaps himself*  

LOID: Get a hold of yourself, Twilight! You are the greatest spy in Westalis! You’ve been with untold numbers of women for an uncounted number of missions! You will not be defeated by...by involuntary images of your fake wife in unmentionable underclothes! Remember the Ten Commandments of Being a Fake Husband! Commandment Number Three: Thou Shalt Not Harbor Immodest Thoughts about Thy Fake Wife! No matter how...  

LOID: *gulps*  

LOID: No matter how attractive she may be...  

[The line, mercifully, moves along and it’s finally LOID’s turn. The cashier completes the transaction to the best of his ability, which isn’t helped by LOID fumbling for the receipt and finally (!) opening the bag. Then he stops. He stares. He turns the bag upside-down and shakes it to make sure nothing else is in there. He is confounded by the smooth, slender object that falls out of the bag and rolls onto the counter. He finishes the return, then stumbles home as his brain kicks into overdrive, trying to make sense of the whole thing.]   

*************************************************************** 

INT. FORGER HOUSEHOLD – EVENING.  

YOR: Loid, you’re back later than I thought! I was worried something had happened to you! L-Loid?  

LOID: *in a faraway voice*  

LOID: I returned your item. H-here’s the refund.   

YOR: Thank you, Loid. You can keep the money. Consider it compensation for your trouble.   

LOID: It’s your hard-earned money, Yor. I want you to have it.   

YOR: A-all right.   

YOR: *pockets the money, then fixes LOID with a worried look*  

YOR: Is everything all right? You look like you're overthinking something again.   

LOID: *nods numbly*  

LOID: I have a question for you. Something I don’t quite understand.  

YOR: Yes?   

LOID: When I was returning your item, I expected...something else. The only thing in the bag was a vial of perfume.  

YOR: Oh!   

YOR: *giggles*  

YOR: When I asked my coworkers, they told me that was all I needed to wear for our nights together.  

LOID: That...was all...you were going...to wear?  

LOID: *steam rises from his ears as he quietly loses his mind*  

YOR: *nods enthusiastically, then sees the look on LOID’s face *   

YOR: Unless you’d prefer something else! I saw a pair of angel wings that might have fit me! Should I have bought that instead?   

LOID: *clamps down hard on his runaway imagination*  

LOID: No, no, it’s fine. You should do whatever makes you comfortable, Yor. No need to cater to me.  

YOR: *nervous because LOID is looking more and more tense by the minute*  

YOR: This is purely for the sake of appearances, of course! I would never force any of this upon you, Loid. 

LOID: I would love nothing more than for you to force yourself upon—  

LOID: Ahem, I believe you. And I thank you for doing your part to keep up the charade. I...think I’ll go take a shower now. I’ve been feeling a bit stuffy today.   

YOR: Oh, yes. By all means.   

YOR: *sigh of relief*  

YOR: By the way, Loid, where’s your new suit? Did something happen to it on the way home?  

LOID: The suit! I knew I forgot something!  

LOID: No, it...wasn’t ready after all. After today, I think it’ll need a few...adjustments. Now, if you’ll excuse me...  

LOID: *quickly shuffles to the bathroom and closes the door*   

YOR: Strange. Loid is usually so precise when giving his measurements... 

YOR: *remembers the money in her pocket*  

YOR: Maybe when it’s ready, I can pick it up for him as a surprise! And while I’m there, I’ll swing by the boutique again. I saw a section for garter belts. I wonder if they sell one for knives... 

YOR: *hears whimpering sounds from behind the bathroom door* 

YOR: Oh dear. Loid must be more upset than I thought. Good thing I never tried out that “aphrodisiac” perfume. If he’s appalled by the idea of a fake honeymoon, there’s no telling what that perfume would have done to him...   

[marcusgnar]

this is just here for easy access to my #q tag

intro thingie under thy cut

Name: Marcus (i really dont care nowadays)

LGBTQness: its here

Tags:

#q: its a fucking queue tag before i even knew what queue tags were

Blogs:

@marcusgnars-hive-mind (mass reblog blog)

@marcus-and-the-shitass-canvas (ai imbreeding)

[iviarellereads]

Nona the Ninth, Chapter 12

(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For detail on The Locked Tomb coverage and the index, read this one!)

(Fruit tree icon)(1) In which we get proof-of-life on someone many readers haven't met at all.

Everyone behaves as the BOE "kidnap" them to another building, though Nona protests that she's got school, just once, on principle. Eventually, Nona and Cam are left in a room long enough that Crown comes in, and all Nona's discomfort disappears.

Crown, in her heavy boots and stained zip-up jacket and tough canvas trousers with bulging pockets, was the most beautiful woman in the city and maybe on the planet. She filled up the doorway like a light-up sign. She had skin like amber and wonderful hair exactly the colour of golden sugar, and if she had ever been in a queue to get something from a shop everyone would have asked her where she had been all their lives. You could have sold tickets to see her. When she smiled at Nona, like she did now, her purple eyes(2) crinkled up at the corners. She was always happy to see Nona. Nona was regularly the only one happy to see her.

Crown frees Nona, and gives her a wonderful hug. Cam frees herself and asks where Pyrrha is. Crown says "he" always needs to be scanned before "the others" will deal. Cam catches the misgender and says Pyrrha's not a Lyctor. Crown says not everyone has the security clearance to know that, and there's more going on than it appears.

Cam remarks that Crown is "still wearing the sword."(3) Crown says it makes her think of home, and it's an aesthetic. Cam says it's not Crown's to wear, but Crown says if the owner asks, she'll give it back. They banter some more, joking about "the Captain" getting hung out in one of the cages even, and Cam finally drops Coronabeth's name in rebuke for familiarity.

Crown still says it's nice to see them, and this isn't official business, We Suffer just wants a chat. Cam is skeptical they have anything worth saying to each other, and slips on a pair of sunglasses.(4) Nona doesn't like the glasses, as they make Cam look like a mercenary.

Crown leads them down some hallways, to the same room they're always led to here. A meeting room, perpetually scattered with pens and bits of paper, with portraits on the wall, though one of an angry redhead has more flowers below it than the others.(5) Pyrrha is there, in a special restrictive chair, staring at Wake's portrait.

The BOE are all dressed in heavy disguises, obscuring body shape, face, and voice. They always do this. Only, usually there are a dozen, and today only two.

Crown pressed one hand to her chest in a formal salute and said, “Crown Him with Many Crowns Thy Full Gallant Legions He Found It in Him to Forgive,(6) representing Ctesiphon-3, acknowledges We Suffer and We Suffer of Ctesiphon-1. Troia cell reporting in, Cell Commander.”

Pyrrha prods at We Suffer, and then Cam and the still-anonymous BOE member spar verbally over the victims of the port riot. Crown asks if anon is questioning Troia Cell's(7) and thus her unit's loyalty, but We Suffer breaks them up for business.

We Suffer said, “Please listen calmly to what I have to tell you, Hect. The negotiator is in orbit.” Camilla stood up.

We Suffer and Pyrrha discuss the state of politics in the BOE while Cam sits down. The anonymous bodyguard gets a projector in the table going, so that We Suffer can show them a shuttle, obviously a House craft, spotted in orbit almost six and a half hours ago. Cam asks how long the nearest House installation has been abandoned. We Suffer confirms it at three months.

Cam is concerned that the ship isn't big enough for a stele, might not even be big enough for subluminary(8) travel. Crown says it's Ziz-class,(9) not a Cohort standard. It's mostly engine, just a little crew space, but it can "get to sublume" easily enough, even without a stele. She knows because she once had a crush on a boy who liked shuttles, so she learned all she could to try to catch his eye.(10)

The bodyguard and We Suffer argue about whether it even matters, with the bodyguard taking the side that only a few "zombies" could do massive damage. Pyrrha asks Crown what the fuel economy is on Ziz class, and she confirms, it's very thirsty. Only one day's travel in subluminary mode. Cam offers that it could have traveled by the River, which sets the bodyguard off as they don't have clearance to know what the River is.

Pyrrha redirect the conversation, asking who the negotiator is. We Suffer doesn't know, but says many factions are delighted that John Gaius is taking them seriously. Pyrrha asks what this means for the due date.

We Suffer asks for a progress report, looking significantly toward Nona. Crown says she's come along wonderfully, but there are other ways and means for now. We Suffer says they're low on both of those, and Cam replies that their dealings with Lyctors haven't gone very well to date. We Suffer says that's not exactly true, as their dealings with Source Joyeuse and Source Piotra(11) were quite fruitful. Without Wake and Source Aegis(12), they'd know nothing of the Resurrection Beasts. At this, Pyrrha's mouth does "something strange". And, adds We Suffer, Source Chrysaor(13) taught them about obelisks and steles, and took out a number of high ranking House personnel and a monster.

Pyrrha points out that Cytherea took out a few adults, some kids, and an old science project. Now, what does We Suffer mean about progress with Nona, do the BOE plan to weaponize her, or negotiate with her as leverage? Cam points out that the kind of person who would rank two fourteen year olds as "high-ranking House personnel" wouldn't care about Nona as a person.

We Suffer and Cam proceed to debate the finer points of what happened at Canaan House, until Cam says even if they could deliver the one they want(14), hive exposure would limit usefulness to say the least. The bodyguard gets in on the argument, accusing Cam of only having "zombie" sympathies.

Crown slapped the table so sharply that everyone jumped, except Pyrrha. “Oh, shut up! Just shut up … I’m sick of your fake bravado and bloodlust. Leave my wing alone. I can’t stand listening to you rark.”(15) The room fell silent, the bodyguard too. Crown and the guard stared at each other through a layer of air-toggle mask and welding goggles with a hate that was genuine. “You’re only boobs, hair, and talk, Crown,” said the guard. “No,” said Crown. “I’m boobs and hair and talk and a hell of a sword hand.” “Did you think that sounded cool?” said the guard.

We Suffer punishes them both, assigning them to "bullet duty" in their free time today. She adds that this is an old argument, and everyone knows both sides by now. If she says Nona has made no progress, she'll be taken captive and added to the Sixth's sixteen negotiators. If she says Nona is almost read, the others will want proof.

Cam asks for proof of life, to make sure all the sixteen are still alive and together. We Suffer says she made assurances, but Pyrrha says the BOE aren't exactly a united front right now. We Suffer offers a video on a chip, saying she was going to offer it today anyway, and plays it on a panel in the room.

Camilla was still again, chin in one hand and pen in the other, more like a picture of Camilla than Camilla herself. There was a sudden noisy crackle from the speakers in the walls, and then a disembodied voice— “Master Archivist Juno Zeta(16) reporting, remaining as representative of the Oversight Body in lieu of the Master Warden. I count six days, seven hours, and forty-six minutes since the last recording. In answer to the previous question, the article title is Heteroscedasticity in Viscus Models for Long-Term Data.(17) Head count standard. All well within the house formerly identified as Sixth. Awaiting further instructions.”

Cam provides the next proof-of-life question: how many pages in her Scholar's thesis? We Suffer asks for something she can work with, in the BOE. Cam assures that there will be a Lyctor, or equivalent, if they can wait. We Suffer shows no emotive response, but asks if there's anything else. Nona pipes up to say she needs the bathroom.

We Suffer acknowledges that, then leans back in her chair, and says they must think her cruel or traitorous, or naive. She simply never thought they'd be given such an opportunity, and she must act wisely on it to maximize her side's outcome. She is prepared to give an answer to John Gaius's negotiator as to what the BOE is willing to give, and she's sure the BOE will stand by her decision in this matter if given the right reasons. They (the found-family) must help We Suffer give them the right reasons. With this, she dismisses them.

=====

(1) How does this chapter change what we think this icon could mean? Before, it was used when talking with the children... and about Hot Sauce potentially joining a group that might have been the Blood of Eden. Eden, the garden of creation, where Adam and Eve ate of the fruit of the tree of knowledge and were cast out for it. Which, if we stop to think, is a very interesting name to choose. But yeah, the fruit tree icon may have been a misdirect in its first use. Clever play. (2) If we had any doubt left, before the name drop. Though, "Crown" is easier to type than "Corona" for my brain so it's sticking in my notes. It'll still be Coronabeth in my tags though, for search indexing. (3) Gideon's rapier, of course, as we know from As Yet Unsent (and a hint in Harrow's one-chapter encounter) (4) So that Pal can come out to play as needed, of course. And, these are once again Gideon's glasses. The one thing that truly ties the series together: Dave Strider's Ben Stiller's aviators. (5) Memorials to former BOE leaders. Wake, the most recent, is also the most remembered, respected. (6) She got a whole BOE styled name. Crown Him With Many Crowns from that hymn I mentioned before, L'Abidjanaise (or The Song of Abidjan) which is the anthem of the Ivory Coast, and the song Dominion Road by a NZ band known as The Mutton Birds. You may see a pattern in the names, and you'd be right. I expect we'll see some notes on it in the Nona paperback in a few months from when this goes up, though I believe Muir's touched on it in interviews as well. (7) Likely from Troy, of "Trojan War" and "Trojan Horse" fame, given the others are mainly named for ancient cities the same way the members are named for ancient literature and song. (8) Within a luminary, or star, system. (9) A ziz is a great mythological griffin-bird from Jewish tradition, big enough to block out the sun with its wings. Ironic for such a teeny ship. (10) Over and over, Corona sets herself aside to earn someone's heart and consideration, and over and over she fails. The shuttle boy, her sister, Judith. (11) Joyeuse, French for "joyous", as in saint of joy. Piotra I'm slightly less clear on, as all I can find is that it derived from Greek petros for rock, which I suppose implies a sort of patience. (Curse the ongoing fall of useful search engines.) (12) Aegis, literally shield, but also protection, control, guidance… duty, if you will. (13) Chrysaor (which means "he who had the golden sword") was the twin of Pegasus, born of Medusa's neck stump when Perseus cut off her head. No firm idea how this relates to Cytherea/Cythera, birthplace of Aphrodite, and we never got Cytherea's "saint of" name that I recall or can locate, to make a deeper connection. All we can say for sure is that the epithets were for the cavaliers, not the Lyctors, and Loveday more or less wanted everyone dead… which may connect to ol' gold sword after all, really.

(14) Harrow. (15) "To rark up" is to either give a strong reprimand or get excited. (16) Palmom! Who lots of readers haven't met, per my intro, because Doctor Sex isn't nearly as popularly shared as As Yet Unsent. (17) Buckle in, pals, I'm gonna ELI5 this sucker (which means oversimplify and piss off the people who know better. Sorry, I'm more concerned with the ones who don't). Heteroscedasticity is a description of data points. Are you familiar with scatterplot graphs, with all the dots that sometimes have a line drawn where the researcher wants you to see that there's a pattern? The term I have in my copy-paste and am absolutely not typing out by hand refers to a certain kind of distribution of dots in those, where the data doesn't fit a certain expectation. Viscus is in reference to viscera, as in, the organs of the torso. So, the article is likely in reference to a hypothesis about why something about the viscera doesn't fit a certain kind of distribution in a scatterplot when measured. What could the proof-of-life question have been? Will it matter? (At this point in the story, I can honestly tell you, some of the questions I ask have not been answered yet, though some have been answered by the end of this book, and I will not tell you which are which.)

[dvrksiider]

@hopegained​ said: ❝ do you legitimately have any standards or are you just terrible ? ❞

The dark sider had to laugh at his forwardness. After a while, the cowering and pleading of her victims targets tended to get old. There were only a small number of those in the galaxy willing to stand up to her. Eyes glinted maliciously at the bite of his words.

“If I were to grant you an answer, would it sway your perception of me?” Nyla tilted her head as she pretended to ponder on this notion. “I’d be inclined to say no. But now I’m curious, Skywalker. What do you think?” 

[ourfatherwhoartinhell]

Mountain: would you collect rocks with me, be honest

[lawrenceop]

HOMILY for 9th Sunday after Pentecost (Dominican rite)

1 Cor 10:6-13; Luke 19:41-47

Earlier this week, I went to Westminster Cathedral to make my Confession and, in these current difficult circumstances, one queues up to enter the church, and then stands in a queue near the front door in order to make one’s confession, standing up, to a priest in the Baptistery area. As I stood there in line at the back of the church, I looked up at one of the Stations of the Cross carved the the Dominican tertiary, Eric Gill; one that I had not quite noticed before. It was the 8th Station: Jesus Meets the Women of Jerusalem. And there, carved in Latin, were the words of Our Lord to those women, as recounted in Luke 23:28f: “Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me, but weep for yourselves and for your children. For behold, the days are coming when they will say, ‘Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bore, and the breasts that never gave suck!’”

I had not noticed this before but the Latin text drew my attention to another sentence from the same Gospel of St Luke (11:27), in which an anonymous woman says to Our Lord: “Blessed is the womb that bore you, and the breasts that you sucked!” True blessedness, therefore, in accordance with God’s wisdom and design, is for an individual and for a society to say “Yes” to God, and so to cherish new life, to nurture and educate children so that they, in turn, will have eternal life through friendship with God. Hence, Our Blessed Mother is acknowledged to be the new Eve, the true Mother of all the Living, that is to say, the Mother of all the Baptised who are thus raised to new life by God’s grace. To be numbered among the Baptised, and thus to be called, at least potentially, God’s Saints, is to say “Yes” to God, “yes” to his wisdom, his teaching, his ways which lead to joy and eternal life.  

In contrast to this, the Lord prophesied to the women of Jerusalem that a time will come when people will overturn the wisdom of God, and whose word, therefore is “No”. Like Satan who said, “Non serviam” (I will not serve), so there will come a time when many will choose not to serve God, nor the wisdom of his created order, nor even the natural law. There will come a time, Our Lord warns, when people shall praise willed childlessness: when motherhood and even being female is deliberately avoided or denied; when the fertile are chemically or mechanically rendered barren; and indeed, when even new life in the womb is forcibly terminated. In this culture of death, as Pope St John Paul II called it, one tragically hears it said – albeit with less finesse – “Happy are the barren, and the wombs that never bore, and the breasts that never gave suck!”

The mother of this culture of death is one whom certain Mexicans venerate as Sancta Muerte, ‘Holy Death’, who is an unholy diabolical perversion of Our Lady. For here is one who leads, not to holy and everlasting life in God as Mary does, but to sin and its results which are death and endless misery. For the Devil has already lost the final battle, he is already judged and condemned, and he is doomed to eternal misery in hell. So, in the time given to him, he strives to seduce as many people as possible to join him in his eternal rebellion against God.

Hence in today’s epistle, St Paul reminds us that immorality and idolatry and rebellion against God and his wisdom will only lead to death and destruction. “Therefore, my beloved, shun the worship of idols”, says St Paul (1 Cor 10:14) An idol is any idea, or thought, or person, or created thing, even good things, which is set up ultimately to replace God. Beware of ideologies, political positions, mystic revelations, and so on, therefore, which threaten to supplant the Scriptures and the teachings of Christ and his Holy Church, which become our rule of life.

Instead, before all else, be rooted in the Word of God, and have a deep familiarity with Scripture, just as the Fathers of the Church, and the Saints do. For as St Athanasius says: “The holy and inspired Scriptures are sufficient of themselves for the preaching of the truth.” No other revelations, therefore, are needed. Indeed, as St Jerome says: “ignorance of the Scriptures is ignorance of Christ”, and if we do not know Christ, then we cannot share in his life. (cf Jn 17:3) Our Lady, therefore, shows us the way to eternal life, to friendship with God, for she is always found pondering the Word of God in her heart; often, in sacred art, she is shown reading the Scriptures when St Gabriel comes to her. So, it is through her deep familiarity and knowledge of God’s Word that, at the Annunciation, she can so readily give her graced-response of “Yes” to God’s Word. Thus, the Word became flesh and dwelt within her blessed womb. Thus she is the Blessed Mother of all who truly live, and she desires to lead us to life.

But barren is the age and barren are the peoples and societies who do not know God; who say “No” to Christ’s teachings; who are full of verbiage and opinions and talk but do not listen to God’s Word. And this barrenness wounds the Sacred Heart of Jesus. For God desires for us, not barrenness and death, but blessedness and life.

Hence, in today’s Gospel, the Lord again prophesies a time of death and destruction because Jerusalem, the Holy City, “did not know the time of [its] visitation”. And he then does what he says we shall do in our time: Jesus weeps for the city. Obviously, the Lord’s prophecy refers principally to the historic fall of Jerusalem to the Romans in 70 AD. However, the city of Jerusalem is also a metaphor for God’s beloved people – it is thus also a symbol of the Baptised, of the Church, and also, of the world. As such, the Lord weeps over the desolation that sin and rebellion does to our souls, to us individually, and also to us as a culture and a society. The Lord of Life weeps to see the culture of death in our own time; he calls on the women of Jerusalem to weep for the women of our time who are often victims of this sinful age; and so he calls on us today in the words of the Sacred Liturgy, to turn from sin and to ask for that which pleases God. (cf Collect)

It pleases God that we should love one another; this is the Lord’s main commandment to us. So, in charity, let us weep and do penance for the salvation of our contemporaries. Let us love and dare to befriend those who are misled by the lies of our time, those who genuinely do not know better. This is the challenge of our times, if we truly wish to evangelise our culture: we’re called to love genuinely and compassionately. As Fr Vincent McNabb OP said: “The world is waiting for those who love it… If you don’t love people don’t preach to them – preach to yourself!” Hence our holy father St Dominic was often heard at night doing penance and weeping as he cried out: “Lord, what will become of sinners?” And Our Lady of the Rosary appeared to the children of Fatima asking them if they would do penance to save sinners.

In our own time, as we see the destruction wrought by the culture of death, the Gospel calls us to respond with charity, even as Christ responded with perfect love and compassion when he hung on the Cross. The same Gospel of St Luke records that the Lord said: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do”. (Luke 23:34) And so we Christians today, in a world that is ignorant of God and who know not the deadly effects of what they do, we must weep, and fast, and do penance, and pray for the salvation of all. In the words of today’s Entrance chant: “Save me, O God, by Thy Name, and deliver me in Thy strength”. Or as Our Lady taught Sr Lucia of Fatima to pray: “Lead all souls to heaven, especially those in most need of thy mercy.”

[eddisfargo]

CoMC Chapter 27

CHAPTER 27

The Story

39 minutes

So! There’s the story. Old Dantes’ starvation was not neglect, but closer to suicide, which he justified by saying “but the doctor said I should diet!” Danglars is a baron, Fernand is a Count. Both filthy rich and bffs. And Morell, faithful Morell, is so ruined he’d presumably just call quits on his own life if he didn’t have a family relying on him. Lots of anti-justice going on for Edmonde to fix. But it won’t, after all, be as simple as going “Hello. My name is Edmond Dantes. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” Oh no, he has to ruin these people from the ground up, and I am totally here for it. 

He gives poor Gaspard $50,000--which I’m sure is a real thing even though sick wife doesn’t believe in it--even though he acknowledges his character weaknesses. (“You’d have kept the diamond if you thought no one would know.”) And I’m sure he’s planning to save our sweet Morrel and his family. And maybe even the ship that I absolutely cannot spell. (Faraaaaaange? That’s probably it). 

As for Mercedes? Apparently “disappeared” was a bit of an exaggeration. She’s doing outwardly spectacular. She’s a Countess, married to a guy who loves her, she’s got wealth and education and entertainment and … pretty much everything a lady could want except the man she actually loves. A worthy man. She’s even got a son who’s probably like… 12ish? And Dantes finds out she married after 18 months and pulls the whole “frailty, thy name is woman!” which I think is brutally unfair?? Was she supposed to just have waited alone in her little house for 14 years? Maybe if she’d known it was 14 years, she might actually have done so. But as far as she knew it was FOREVER. Dantes was gone. No word. No sign he was alive. If there’d been a sign he was dead maybe she would’ve offed herself after all--which is the whole reason he’s not. 

Come on, dude. She sat around for a year and half mourning you, waiting for you, and taking care of your ailing father. What more did you want from her? He even says it was the most a lover could hope for, but I get the feeling he was being sarcastic. 

Well anyway, hopefully she’ll be a widow soon and marry a new Count. Instead of the Countess of whatever the heck they said she was Countess of, she can be the Countess of Monte Cristo. This had better happen, book, I’m warning you right now.

(PS, I’m suddenly realizing I’m catching up with myself. I just queued up Chapter 46 for 5 days from today, and I’ve only read 54. I’m posting them twice as fast as I’m reading them, which means my queue might start getting inconsistent soon. I think I’m going to go back to 3 a day instead, since I seem to be averaging about 2-2.5 a day)

[wanderingaunt]

Where'd You Go, Robin?

This is the first post in my 30-day blog challenge.

Oh look, Robin seems to have disappeared again.

No one actually realizes I’m gone.

Those are the voices I hear in my head as I think through getting back online. My thoughts are very judgmental. I often create fake scenarios and conversations about myself or what I think others are saying about me.

That’s my queue to take a step back.

Honestly, the virtual world was getting to be too much for me. When COVID began to spread throughout the U.S. in March, I found myself feeling pretty grounded and focused. It was the first time in 2 years that I had stopped to slow down. I was in Dallas at my sister’s and learning to adjust to suburban life for a change.

Slow down.

That’s normally not a phrase I say. Yet, the more I learn about my Human Design and how I’m wired, the more I recognize this to be part of who I am. According to my Human Design, I am a 6/2 Manifesting Generator. Manifesting Generators can often be perceived as flighty or non-committal. We like to try things on before we know if it’s going to be a fit for us. The 6/2 identifies the part of me that is a hermit as well as a role model. As I look back at my life over the past 2 years, I can see this pattern unfolding. I am free-spirited and tend to do life at my own pace. Sometimes my pace is consistent and steady, while other times it’s slow as molasses. Sometimes I’m out in the spotlight while other times, I’m going deep within and tuning out everything around me.

While I was settled in Dallas, I found myself adjusting to being in one place. When Stay at Home Orders began, I took it as an invitation to settle in and focus on my work and completing my Retreat Leader certification as part of my yearlong coaching program with Darla LeDoux. I was feeling pretty great and proud of myself for actually focusing and having a routine. As someone who moves around quite a bit, routines are few and far between.

As May approached, I realized that the coursework due date for my certification was fast approaching. In true Robin fashion, I waited until 2 weeks prior to May 2nd to complete 4 months’ worth of assignments. I thrive off of deadlines, yet I don’t always embrace that about myself. I hunkered down and became laser-focused. I completed my work on time and only had a couple of assignments that I needed to redo. I continued to press through and show up fully.

Completing my coaching program became my focus and refuge from the craziness happening with COVID. Yet, my focus was quickly pulled back as hardship came upon my family.

On Mother’s Day, we received a message from my Mom that my Dad was in the hospital with Severe Sepsis. My Mom called an ambulance to take him to the ER earlier that morning. He spent a week in the hospital and came close to death. Thankfully, he survived and has since made a full recovery.

Soon after that, the terrible tragedy with George Floyd happened. I found myself consumed with social media activism—posting and sharing content on my feed, signing petitions, reading, and learning. And then within a week of that, we received the news that my beloved cousin, Clint, had died of cancer at the young age of 44.

My nervous system went into shock.

Another aspect of Human Design is that it shows which channels you have open. I have many open centers and as a result, I’m highly sensitive or in other words, an empath. An empath is someone who is highly aware of the emotions of those around them, to the point of feeling those emotions themselves. Empaths see the world differently than other people; they’re keenly aware of others, their pain points, and what they need emotionally. When I’m not conscious of protecting my energy, I can literally feel the weight of the world. When I go into overwhelm, I retreat into my cocoon (hermit phase).

2020 has been an extremely difficult and unexpected year for the entire world. For me personally, there’s been a lot of change, heartbreak, loss, and regret. As a nomad, I went from the freedom of traveling the world to being confined to one spot; in February, I ended a relationship with a man that I love and have had to deal with the regret and heartbreak from that decision; and then with COVID and all of the anti-racism movements happening, my system was in overload. After my cousin died, it was the final straw for my emotional well-being. I found myself distant from my friends and family and unable to maintain healthy boundaries or communication.

I knew it was time for me to go inward and tune out for a bit.

"I was becoming more and more of a hermit. It's not so much that I was running away from something, I was running into myself."  -- Michael A. Singer, The Surrender Experiment

I rented a car and headed west to Colorado for a personal retreat at the beautiful Six Eagles Haven. It was the first time I had left Dallas in 4 months, and ironically it was the last place I traveled to prior to COVID. When I was nearing my arrival, tears fell upon me, and I began sobbing and yelling uncontrollably.

I was having an emotional breakdown.

The breakdown lasted for at least 30 to 45 minutes. I was near panic mode. I showed up at the retreat center completely exhausted and emotionally drained. I knew I was in the right place to come exactly as I was and that nothing was wrong. I knew I was safe. My coach, Allison, was there to guide and support me through this time.

My emotional breakdown, while painful, was the start of a magical journey for me.

Six Eagles Haven is such a special place and has created many profound experiences for me. Each week there will be a movie night where Randy (Allison’s husband) will select a movie for us to watch. He selected Where’d You Go, Bernadette. I had seen this movie earlier in the year while flying back from Africa, yet this time I felt connected to the main character. The movie is about a former architect named Bernadette played by Cate Blanchett. In the movie you witness Bernadette go through her own life crisis. She’s distant, always starting and not finishing projects, and unable to cope with the real world. Without going into much detail, Bernadette has lost her art and power to create. She gave up creating, which in turn caused her to give up on life.

I found myself relating to Bernadette. I was born to create, and I’ve been resisting that part of me for far too long.

One of the main reasons I went to Colorado was so I could have access to nature and hiking. I got up everyday and lost myself in the woods. I am a explorer at heart and love going off the beaten path. One morning I woke up and decided I was going to climb a mountain. I walked into the kitchen and told Allison that I was going to hike Mount Garfield. Allison looked at me and asked if I was looking for a challenge.

Yes, a challenge is exactly what I need.

Be careful what you wish for. ;) I had looked at the reviews and had read that it was a difficult, hard, and challenging hike. I’ve been on several challenging hikes before, so I figured this wouldn’t be too big of a deal. My ego laughed at me when I thought this.

“What is My Mountain?”

This is the question I contemplated as I was climbing Mount Garfield. This climb caused me to confront how I go about challenging situations and embrace the part of me that wakes up and declares, “Today, I’m going to climb a mountain.” When I made it back to my car, I felt so accomplished and on fire. This was exactly what I needed. I needed to remind myself of how strong and capable I am. I needed to remind myself that I thrive off of challenges and need my own mountain to climb.

The next day as I was taking my daily walk within the labyrinth, I got a download. Every time I enter the labyrinth, I set an intention for my walk and open myself up to signs and answers. This day, I asked Spirit for guidance around the question, “What is my mountain?”.

Spirit: Write 30 blogs in 30 days.

Me: 30…? How about 15?

Spirit: No, 30.

Me: 20?

Spirit: No, you asked for a mountain. 30.

Me: Gulp. Okay, 30…

This is what happens when I try to negotiate after I get a clear message. I’m not as great of a negotiator as I think I am… The call to write has been with me for over a year now. I have dismissed it again and again. I’ve enrolled others in my writing a book, yet, I’ve been in major resistance around actually starting. I’ve come up with every excuse and avoidance tactic. Even though, I keep receiving the call in meditation to write. Even though my oracle cards tell me, “Get thee to thy desk and write!” Even though others ask how my writing is going…I allow time to pass by and wait for tomorrow to come.

So here is my mountain: 30 blog posts in 30 days.

As with most challenges I take on, starting is the hardest part. I sit in resistance for a while and then over-analyze each word and sentence I type. I erase, write again, and repeat. I have no idea where this challenge will take me or what topics and words will be uncovered in the process. I trust the guidance of my higher self and Spirit to guide me. I trust that whatever is meant to be written will be written. I trust that answers to many questions I hold will come to surface.

Where’d You Go, Robin?…You’ll have to read to find out.

I invite you to take some time to sit with the question “What is my mountain?” for yourself. Really sit with it and listen. What shows up for you?

Ways You Can Support the 30 Day Blog Challenge

I would love your support during this challenge. While I am taking on this challenge for myself, I trust that you will identify with my writing and read the posts that you are meant to read.

Subscribe to my newsletter so you receive posts on a daily or weekly basis.

Donate to my work. I’ve been writing this blog for 3 years now and produce all of my content for free. As an artist and creator, writing is my outlet for being fully self-expressed. Your support provides encouragement (and pays the bills) to keep going. <3

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Comment on the posts that speak to you. I’d love to hear your thoughts and learn which topics you relate to or identify with.

[brownskinsugarplum76]

i have some more metal songs you can check out if you want to. i really like your blog and your opinion interests me a lot so here you go... Mein Herz brennt - Rammstein Fade To Black - Metallica Hallowed Be Thy Name - Iron Maiden (the live version of this is insane) Domination - Pantera The Dance of Eternity - Dream Theater hope you enjoy i love listening to new music so maybe you could give us some song recommendations to check out :)

Hi Anon! Big apologies for how long this has been sitting in my ask queue... 😔

Thanks for sending more! All of these are new to me. OK, here goes...

Rammstein: I like the music, very cinematic. I looked up a translation of the lyrics, and the vocals fit the lyrics. Not my favorite vocal style, but everything blends together quite well.

Iron Maiden: listened to the studio version first. The music is interesting in a good way. A big old melting pot of hard rock, punk-ish, and prog rock-ish influences to my ear, and the bass line is disco-adjacent in the early part of the song. I'm intrigued! Dope guitar solo. Singer's voice fits the music and mood well. It's not bluesy or soulful but it's powerful and very theatrical in a good way. I like this song. 🤘🏽❤️ Then I listened to a version from the Live After Death album. Very good.

Pantera: I like the shifting rhythmic musical elements going on. There is a little more musicality in the singer's voice, not just an unearthly roar. I can appreciate how it jibes with the music. The whole thing is chaotic in an appealing manner. 🤘🏽❤️

Dream Theater: Electro-metal jazz? I never knew I needed to hear this until now. And the cartoon saloon piano break! There's a lot of skill and creativity in this, and a little humor, too. I can dig it. 👌🏽❤️

Please feel free to send more!

OK, some for you to check out:

Roses by the Delta Saints

I'd Rather Die in Vain by SIMO

Blame Fire, by Petite Noir

Go As You Are by Curtis Harding

Rock 'n Roll Victim by Death (album is called For the Whole World to See)

ASAP by Son Little

I'm Bored, Iggy Pop (I've had this on repeat play a lot lately)

Outta the Window by J*Davey

[addie-bear]

[ @addie-bear @chances-r-high @vindication-thy-name-is-dwight ]

(( The following contains mentions of kidnapping, murder, genocide, prostitution, child abuse, child neglect. Reader discretion is advised. ))

The courtroom wasn't a room at all. It was an outdoor meeting area with stone seating. It sort of reminded Addie of the Colosseum on Lazuroth, except smaller and bit more ornate. Chance told her this was where they always had trials, but it definitely helped with fitting the large, purple dragon into the scene

“Today we are here for the trial of The People of the Multiverse vs Dwight Dwicky,” explained Senator Destial, whom Chance had named Master of Law. “I will no ask the head juror to read off the charges against the defendant.”

The head juror stood up, a tablet in their hand. They cleared their throat. “The charges against one Dwight Dwicky are as follows: twenty-seven counts of murder, 7 counts of attempted murder, 11 counts of collusion, 4 counts of genocide, 4 counts of mass murder, 32 counts of child abuse, 32 counts of child neglect, 2 counts of unlawful prostitution, 8 million counts of unlawful imprisonment, 8 counts of kidnapping, 1 count of being in possession of a weapon of mass destruction, and 1 count of impeding an investigation.”

Destiel nodded. “Thank you, Head Juror Pyxus.” She looked back at Dwicky. He was dressed in a plain tunic with faded, gray pants. His hair was a mess and goatee was very unkempt. “Mr. Dwicky. Our records state that you have plead not guilty to these charges. Is that correct?”

The smile on Dwicky's face was disturbing. “That I do, your honor,” he said, his voice smooth like melting butter.

“Mr. Dwicky I must warn you, the evidence against you is absolutely staggering. I have discussed things with the High Chancellor and the Master of Arms, and we are willing to give a chance here and now. Confess, right here right now, and we will reduce your sentence to life in prison.”

Dwicky continued his creepy smile. “I will not admit to things that have merely been fabricated to defame me.”

Addie growled in her throat, but Chance’s gentle hand on hers kept her from saying anything. Keeping her temper in check was still a work in progress. To be honest, though, she wasn't the least bit surprised. The only reason she and Chance had agreed with Destiel to try was because they both knew he wouldn't take the deal.

Destiel merely nodded at Dwicky's words, the expression on her face clearly saying “at least we tried.” “Very well. The trial will commence as planned, then.”

Addie took hold of Chance’s hand a squeezed. This was going to be long and tedious, but it would be worth it once Dwicky was sentenced to death, and never allowed to hurt anyone ever again. She shivered a little and scooted closer to her mate. What a strange cold breeze they were having today.

Dwicky's face morphed into a malicious smirk. “Oh. I'm afraid the trial is cancelled,” Dwicky told them.

Addie glared. She was just about to ask what he was talking about when the cold breeze became a frigid blast. She jumped to her feet. She knew where that was from. “Eyes up!” she yelled to everyone, especially her troops. “He's trying to escape!”

As if on queue a bright beam came down from above, lighting Dwicky is silvery-blue light. As he began to lift off the ground, a swirl of ice began to surround the beam, hiding it from view.

“OH NO YOU DONT!” Addie shouted, hopping over the stone table she was sitting at. She pulled the shrunken Song of Liberty from her neck, willing it grow to full size. Just as she reached the tower of ice a giant horde of soldiers crashed into the stadium. Even as she fought them off, they began to push her back.

“All squads hold back the enemy soldiers!” Chance yelled, swooping in with his two lightsabers. “Cover Admiral Denivar!” He then turned to Addie. “Go. We got this here.”

She nodded, looking up to see the ship already flying away. “Yes sir, High Chancellor,” she said, whistling at Cynder. Cynder roared, flapping up just enough to land in the middle of the stadium. She then lowered her head, allowing Addie to get on.

“Let's go, girl!” Addie told her once she was seated. The dragon roared again, taking of into the sky after the ship in one swift motion. The ship was fast, but so was Cynder. And her lightning breath could reach quite a distance.

“Just a little closer…there! Fulguri!”

Once the Lazurothian command was given, Cynder opened her massive mouth, revealing dozens of razor sharp teeth and the crackling sparks of purple and black lightning. She reared her head slightly and fired. The huge stream of lightning escaped from Cynder's mouth, flying toward the ship Dwicky had been beamed onto. The ship made a sharp turn, missing the attack by only a few inches.

“Fuck! Come on, Cynder!”

Cynder shot off again, chasing after the ship at incredible speed. The wind flew through Addie's hair, leaving it tangled and wild.

“Fulguri!”

Cynder fired once more. Again, the lightning missed as the ship spun once before taking a quick leap high into the sky. Addie continued to give chase, but it was long gone.

“Goddammit!’

Cynder's ferocious snarl echoed her frustration.

[child-of-hurin]

i’m for some unfathomable reason listening to old marilyn manson records and i have to say, “i am your shit and you should be ashamed of what you have eaten” is still such an #iconic line