#queuepid was wrong

[aromanticofficial]

I’m aroace and was just browsing the aroace tag when I came across a few exclusionist posts & now I’m feeling… idk. Weird, I guess.

Am I welcome on this blog, even though I’m also ace? I’ve been reblogging posts from here because I recently realized I was aro and wanted to engage with & explore that side of my identity, but if as many aro people as they indicated don’t want aroace people around in their aro spaces, would it be better to just… leave the aromantic tag and blogs altogether? I don’t want to take away from people who are aroallo. I’ve seen it done time and again and don’t want to be some kind of… invasive species or something.

(sorry this was so long and rambly.)

anon. I am holding your face so gently. you belong in aro spaces. don't let exclusionists tell you otherwise. your experience is unique and valuable and there is not a single romantic, sexual, or gender orientation that takes that away. I promise that every aro is welcome on aromanticofficial because this is a space for every aro on the arospec.

[aromanticofficial]

Ik being an aro adult can suck but as a high schooler im having the time of my life. my friends are panicking over crushes and im giggling and kicking my feet at fish facts and if anyone brings up dating I can just go “im too young” and it’s a valid answer.

hell yeah bro that's what it's all about

[aromanticofficial]

I'm so tired of people saying characters have no interest in romance then saying they're asexual. Aros exist please stop erasing us!

for real!

[aromanticofficial]

Is it just me or am I seeing more acephobia and arophobia on Tumblr again? Like I keep seeing all these jokes of "LOL no one on Tumblr knows what sex is" or making fun of things like "platonic soulmates" as some idea come up by shipper-hating puritans trying to erase queer people.

Maybe I'm just being paranoid, I remember being on Tumblr back in the seriously acephobic days and it left an impression.

Maybe I need to unfollow some mutuals.

you may need to unfollow some mutuals because I haven't seen anyone talking about an uptick in aro/acephobia

[aromanticofficial]

aromantic french lobster calls viewer alloromantic

[aromanticofficial]

shocking news, The aroallo guy is here to talk abt being aroallo. everybody gasp

anyways. i wanted to explain why aroallos are so "sensitive" about our identity and place in the aspec community.

the aspec community has a sex negativity problem. this is obvious. the amount of "sex bad" takes that are boldly labelled "aspec experiences" instead of what they actually are (puritan culture) is enough to make anyone who actually experiences sexual attraction feel more than unwelcome in the aspec community.

aside from that, there's also the erasure. aromanticism is always treated as a subcategory of asexuality. there's this constant underline to every mainstream-ish discussion of aromanticism that basically comes down to the inherently aroallophobic idea that "not all aces are aro, but all aros are ace". it's not that anyone says this out loud; it's that everyone seems to imply it subtly, everyone seems to believe it without even thinking twice about it.

aside from that, there's the lack of representation. name an aromantic character. chances are, you've just named an aroace character. and even in the very very rare case of a character being canonically aromantic but not canonically asexual (e.g. carpenter from the silt verses), the fandom still treats them being asexual as canon. fandom treats aromanticism as something that must only exist within asexuality, not as its own separate identity.

our fellow aspecs spew aroallophobia at us in a misguided attempt at humor (i've gotten several asks from aroaces telling me i "should" be aroace), our posts are mistagged as asexual when we make it extremely clear they're just about being aromantic (and when we point out that we don't like that, we get called control freaks. true story), the aromantic tag is filled with posts just about asexuality, allos either call us emotional abusers and imply we objectify people by simply experiencing sexual attraction, or imply that we're just afraid of attachment and that they can "fix" us.

the absolutely jarring truth of being an aroallo on tumblr dot com is making a post about being aroallo and immediately getting ten anons telling me i'm "no better than a straight man", "an aroace in denial", "an emotionally abusive predator", or just a slut, while at the same time someone comments on my post "you're making up an issue that doesn't exist" "why are you so mad about this" "you wanna be a victim so bad"

whew. okii that's all. hope that clears stuff up for non-aroallos out there /gen

what they said

[aromanticofficial]

periodic reminder that your only purpose is to live and you get to choose how you do that. you don't need to conform to backwards standards and roles. be free. be happy

[aromanticofficial]

Romance is an idea made up by Big Love to sell more chocolate

this is a conspiracy going all the way back to Saint Valentine

[aromanticofficial]

What exactly are aroallo? The only info I've found is confusing to me. As how it's was worded was basically "aroallo feel romantic attractions".

I've also seen an lot of people that are aroallo saying they don't want aroace to invade their aro space so I'm confused about all that.

aroallo is the shortening of aromantic allosexual, so someone who does not feel romantic attraction, but does feel sexual attraction! I'm sorry it was explained poorly the first time you heard it.

aroallos are sensitive about their allosexual identity being erased in favor of asexual experiences (I mean. I would be, too). being ace is treated as the default aspec identity, and typically seen as more "palatable" by others, so people talk a lot about asexuality without talking about aromanticism, let alone aromanticism without asexuality. this is an old, ongoing problem with aspec spaces and has apparently blown up into a resentment of aroaces? I haven't seen/experienced it firsthand and I'm not aroallo so I'm going off of what others in the ask box have said.

all of that aside, all aros belong in aro spaces because of what they have in common—aromanticism. aroaces shouldn't be the dominant voice in aroallo spaces, but in general aro spaces, sexual orientation shouldn't matter because they're there to talk about aromanticism.

[aromanticofficial]

official aromantic post

ah shit sorry man i didnt mean to spill my "aro4aro friends with benefits relationship" all over your favorite ship, fuck dude my bad, it wont happen again

[aroace-anomaly]

ive been seeing a lot of wholesome inclusive arospec posts with the tag "queuepid was wrong"

who is queuepid?/gen

[aromanticofficial]

official aromantic post

"friends don't look at each other like that" well okay you coward you do whatever you want however i WILL look at my friends like they're the most important thing in the world. i love them with my whole heart and i will hold their hand and stare at the stars not because i wanna fuck them but because they mean the world to me and i care about them. fuck you

[aromanticofficial]

Official aromantic can you make me aromantic officially. Like kit me with the aro beam or smth /j

hits you with the aro beam

I spent like 30 minutes looking through the aromantic tag for the post this is from

[aromanticofficial]

official aromantic post

are u ever sick w longing. and i don't just mean romantic longing. i mean longing for a place you barely get to see, longing for friends you no longer have, longing for feelings you might have left behind in your childhood, longing for creativity, longing for a rich and more expansive life, longing for less inhibition. longing for more passion. longing for ur life to be so incandescent w something it thaws all the frost in ur bones. are u ever so consumed w it it rends ur heart in two. do u understand me

[aromanticofficial]

i've been wondering, do you know if there are symbols or things associated with the aro community? like ace people have playing cards, intersex people have orchids, what do you think?

there are a few that i know of:

green hearts (and green in general)

garlic bread as a symbol for aspecs as a whole

ice cream has been proposed by some aros (to pair with asexuality's cake)

if anybody thinks of more, please feel free to add them in a reblog etc

[aromanticofficial]

Hi!

Do you happen to know of resources about representing alloaros properly in media?

Because I'm trying to write a story with an alloaro character and I want to make sure my portrayal is respectful! Their orientation isn't the main focus (it's fantasy, there's lots of dragons) but is is A Thing and I want to do it right!

(pls ignore if this is not a good thing to ask on this blog)

i don't know of any aroallo-specific resources, but in general keep in mind that aros are just like alloromantic people, minus the romance. it's really easy to fall into the trap of writing an aro character as either cold, cutthroat, and emotionless, or as an innocent baby who isn't mature enough to have a romantic relationship. just remember that every character should be written as a whole person with their own emotions (or lack thereof, if that's part of their characterization) no matter their orientation.

tl;dr aro people are people and we can have meaningful nonromantic relationships